Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#dramadumping #traumadumping #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #traumadumpingredflag #dramadumpingattractcshijackals

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canttrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Expecting Emotional Maturity from a Narcissist? Don't Hold Your Breath!!!

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 04:54:59 GMT

SOOO frustrating! You hoped for a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child with whom you could communicate, collaborate, and co-operate, but no. You live most of the time with q tiresome toddler or miserable middle schooler, right?

Learn more about recognizing the patterns and altering your expectations now.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

#Hijackals are emotionally immature.
Check your expectations when you approach a narcissist. Expecting equality? Oops!
Often feel you're talking to a tiresome toddler or demanding teenager when you try to reason with a Hijackal?
Why you need to do your own work to make good decisions about what to do about the Hijackal

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcicisstsareemotionallyimmature #emotionallyimmature #hijjackalsareemotionallyimmature #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Narcissists Make OUTRAGEOUS ASKS. Learn to say NO,

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 04:38:20 GMT

Narcissists ask for too much...and they expect to get it. It's essential to hear that a question is outrageous so you can respond differently. If you've been with a Hijackal for too long, you may have stopped hearing their questions as outrageous;

This episode will sharpen your listening skills and increase your sensitivity to questions that are intrusive, violating, and need a solid NO answer.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Listen for outrageous questions. You may have become used to them,
Narcissists want power over you.
Meaning of 'coercive control"
Learn to diffuse the outrageous question,

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#learntosayno #saynotosadsm #saynotomysogyny #saynotoqhmakesmeuncomfotable

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Standing Up to Narcissistic Intimidation -Here's How!

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 05:20:20 GMT

Being with a narcissistic person is scary, right? You are usually wrong...even when you're right!. You never know what mood they'll be in. They lie, gaslight, rage, and fall silent.

They are intimidating! They keep you on edge! What can you do to reduce the intimidation? Listen to this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Narcissistic people are likely to engage in several kinds of abuse: verbal, physical, sexual, financial, emotional or spiritual
Hijackals use intimidation as a quick way to win, or silence someone
Change your perspective and stop allowing yourself to be les than equal.
Use the Personal Weather Report to your advantage

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissstiintimitation #respondingtointimidation #stayingcalmwhennarcissistsareangry

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Being the Golden Child In the Family Hurts You

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 04:43:54 GMT

Can't do anything wrong? Get away with nonsense? Get extra goodies? Attention? Time?

Might sound good but it can get old fast and leave you with very poor self-esteem and a lack of identity. Have a sibling who is the Golden Child? You envied them and now you se them differently?

VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE to straighten your thinking about yourself and others who were treated as Golden Children growing up.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why being the Golden Child is not a great role
help to understand the downsides of being raised by a narcissistic parent
Recognize the lasting effects of being the Golden Child or Scapegoat child in a narcissistic family
Giving up the "overachiever" role given to you by your family dynamic

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#goldenchilldinfamily #goldenchildonlychild #goldenchildrepresentsfamily #goldenchildscapgoatlostchild

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Smart to Stop Trying to Please a Narcissist

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 04:29:02 GMT

Narcissists love it when you run after their approval.

You hope to explain yourself and be heard; they hope to explain you away.

In this episode are five iron-clad reasons to not even try to please a Hijackal - save your energy, save your time, save your self-esteem.

Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Hijackals want you to please them
They make it very difficult to do
Why narcissists always need to be right
Refusing to remember the truth makes things impossible

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistisalwaysright #hijackalalwaysright #narcissistslie #hijackalslie #narcissistsmustwin

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STOP OVERSHARING. It's dangerous.

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 05:15:41 GMT

You want someone--at least one someone--to hear you, see you, believe you. So you share. Sadly, that often turns into oversharing, leaving you a little red-faced. if you fully embarrassed a little later, right? "Why did I do that?"

There are good reasons you overshare. Don't beat yourself up for it. Listen in to understand the "whys" and stick around for the "why nots!" so you can make positive changes in what you share and with whom. You can stop oversharing, and still be heard when you talk with the right people.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

The longing to be known
The desire to have an ally
Trusting the wrong person for the right reasons
Disappointed and betrayed while looking for a friend
Taking care of yourself in ways you didn't know you'd need to

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#oversharing #feelinginvisible #wantingtobeheard #flyingmonkeys #givinggossip #falseintimacy

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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5 Must-Do's to Save Your Sanity from a Narcissist

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 04:44:21 GMT

Steps to emotional freedom require knowing where the path starts. These five "must-do's" are fundamental to saving your sanity, self-esteem, and self-confidence. When you're in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, it's even MORE critlcal.

Know the importance of each of these and how to keep them top of mind. Develop enough strength to follow the "healthier human" path to avoid being sucked down the "Hijackal human" one. YOU CAN!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

How to not get sucked into Hijackal drama
Gaining perspective about how the narcissist's mind works
Creating emotional distance when the narcissist is accusing you
Dr. Shaler's most important mantra for saving your sanity

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcississticprojection #observenarcissisticbehavior #emotionaldistance #safefromanarcissist

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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How to Avoid Falling in to Reactive Abuse Trap

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 06:27:09 GMT

Oh, how Hijackals love to poke, prod, and provoke you into losing it and reacting, right? And then they like to wind you up further so you'll yell, blame, complain, and meltdown. Crazy-making?

Yes, INTENTIONALLY CRAZY-MAKING!

Learn ways to not go there, to not react, to not behave like the Hijackal...or the way the Hijackal wants to manipulate you into behaving, How to choose control and calm instead. Yay!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Nasty, manipulate way to make you out to be the abuser - Don't let it happen.
Be careful: Hijackals and other narcissists attempt "reactive abuse" to keep you feeling wrong, thoughtless, confused, and small. DoNT't let them!
Hijackals like to push you to reactive abuse when you are out with other people. Some do it to make a reason to call the police and make a scene. Don't let them.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#reactiveabuse @coercivecontrol #avoidreactiveabuse #narciccistprojection

narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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5 Good Things Narcissists PROMISE...but NEVER DELIVER!!!

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 05:37:17 GMT

Narcissistic Hijackals know what you want. Yet, they withhold giving it to you. They know what you need. Yet, they refuse to fulfill it. They know how to make you happy, but prefer disappointing you.

Think deeply about these five "would be good" things narcissists promise but fail to deliver...and, they do it very deliberately. There are real deal-breakers...when you actually see them. Listen in. Don't be fooled by the promises!!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

5 good things that Hijackals promise you, that they won't deliver on
Why you need to be VERY clear that you are thinking you are being promised something that you will NEVER receive....except for a hot minute now and again!
Why mutuality is critical to a loving relationship
The most unlikely promises that won't be fulfilled....so sad.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

NEVER TRUST A NARCISSIST

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 05:09:36 GMT

You want to be able to trust a person, right? It's natural. It's healthy. Yet, you cannot trust narcissists or any variation of Hijackal. And, I know you want to.

In this episode, hear the many ways you CANNOT trust them, even when you want to. Hear ways you convince yourself you can believe them, and why you must stop. Yep, it's hard sometimes. But, if you trust them, you're diving into crazy-making even further...and, that's never a good thing. Join in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Trust is a hallmark of a healthy relationship....and relationships with narcissists are unhealthy!
Why Hijackals are untrustworthy....narcissists, too
How narcissists take advantage of you...over and over and over.
Why narcissists won't compromise
Stop giving them another chance.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#nevertrustanarcissst #canitrustanarcissist #donttrustanarcissist #wasteyearsofmylife

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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10 Ways You Can Get Used to Being Emotionally Abused

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 04:45:28 GMT

Little by little, nasty, bitter, unfair things start becoming part of the day-to-day with a narcissist. Those Hijackals are relentless in wearing you down and getting their way, right?

You might pass it off as another "little thing to avoid" to reduce the abuse. WHAT? You're doing things to reduce the abuse rather than set boundaries and making plans to leave? SEE HOW SNEAKY IT ALL IS? Don't miss these ten main "features" of narcissistic emotional abuse!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

You can get used to being emotionally abused...and, that's not good!
Failing to see abuse as abuse is dangerous.
Among the top ten forms of frequent emotional abuse
10 ways you can get used to being emotionally abused without actually noticing

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionallyabused #usedtobeingabused #seeingemotionalabuse #beingusedandabused

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

27 Sneaky, Nasty Ways Narcissists Try to Rule the Roost

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 04:52:49 GMT

Some Hijackals are subtle, some are sneaky. All are to keep your relationship in chaos, preferably with you giving in to their whims, demands, and expectations. Most of all, they want to be in charge and in control of all the things. Be informed. See them for what and who they are.

They are always wanting to create a fracas, a commotion, an upset, and a mess. When you can see what they're up to, it's easier to see their ploys, tricks, and defaults. Then you an choose your responses in healthier ways.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Hijackals, narcissists, anti-socials: all need to win and be right
27 mean ways they try to keep things chaotic, emotionally
Hijackals love a fracas, a noisy disturbance or quarrel, about anything
Do everything in your power to avoid responding with reactive abuse

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#sneakynarcissist #nastynarcissist #narciccistsaaretroublesome #reativeabuse #seeinganarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalab

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Don't Let A Hijackal Harden Your Heart. Harden Your Attitude Towards Them.

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 04:53:20 GMT

When you're on guard every minute, hypervigilant about the next accusation, you might think I'm suggesting something impossible...maybe even crazy. I'm not.

It's important to recognize that you can stay in charge of yourself, no matter what kind of crazy-making the Hijackal or narcissist engages in.

Difficult? Yes, but not impossible. Worthwhile? Definitely!

Learn this invaluable approach to taking good care of yourself, even though you may be rattled daily by a Hijackal now.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Be hard on issues, Soft on self.
Why Hijackals may NOT harden your heart: you won't give them your permission!
Harden your attitude towards the Hijackal, but keep your heart safe.
Hijackals don't care who they hurt.
Do your best not to take it personally.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#hardenmyheart #hardenmyattitude #narcissiststakeandtake #hardenmyattitudetothenarcissist #heartopen

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Stop Being "Too Nice!" It encourages Hijackals.

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 04:38:03 GMT

You may think that it's impossible to be "too nice." It's not. It actually can make things worse...and that's just what it does when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal.

You do all the giving and then, more is expected, right? Not working! Listen in to recognize the ways being "too nice" works against you.

Hijackals LOVE to take advantage of someone who will fall all over themselves to keep the Hijackal happy. Remember, though, the Hijackal is dedicated to never being happy for more than a hot minute...if that. Then, it will be right back to blaming you for everything.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

People-pleasing can be part of being "too nice" and can lead to chronic codependency
Don't let someone else's opinion of you matter more than your own opinion on you
Hijackals will find fault with you no matter how nice you are and how much you do for them
5 ways Healthier Humans behave differently than Hijackal Humans

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#beinbtoonice #peoplepleasing #notspeakingup #afraidofdisagreement #feellikeadoormat #tooniceisunhealthy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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How Crazy-Making Hijackals Use PLAUSIBILITY to Suck You In

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 04:11:03 GMT

Most people want to believe the stories of others. You want to be able to trust, right? So, you're inclined to be sucked in by plausible stories, excuses, reasons, etc.. Also, you don't want the hassle of their endless denials and turning things on you.

Learn how plausibility is the key to turning this into healthier interactions to stop the crazy-making. Listen in and get away.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

plausible = seeming reasonable, probable, or persuasive...or NOT!
How a plausible story is a slippery story: could be equally true or untrue
"Plausible Deniability" = the sneaky way to deny knowledge of a responsibility or to be accountable for something
Why Hijackals like things that have no evidence
And, why Hijackals HATE EVIDENCE!
Your best antidote to plausible deniability: the personal weather report

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#plausibledeniability #plausiblelie #plausiblestory #naariccistneedstowin

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Top 12 Traits That Scream Hijackal!!! Don't Be in Denial.

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 03:25:31 GMT

You're a good person. You want to see the best in folks. You are right ready to help someone excuse their poor behavior, and be understanding. Hijackals count on that! They treat you poorly to see how much you'll put up with.

It's often not long into the relationship before they're taking up all the space....and you're gasping for air, dying to be heard.

BE CLEAR ABOUT THESE 12 TRAITS. See them. Believe them. Don't expect them to change.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

There are many more than twelve traits of narcissistic Hijackals
You may be too emotionally exhausted to see these clearly anymore, SO it's important to listen to this episode
Why it's important to recognize these traits and make decisions to set boundaries that keep you safer
How sabotage, undermining, and threats relate
Why "belittling" is SO damaging

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#gaslighting #manipulating #redirectingconversations #projection #sabotage relationship #belittling #narcissistslying #disrespectingapartner

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Narcissists ARE Aggressive. Don't Poke a Hijackal on Purpose

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 07:22:52 GMT

Narcissists and other Hijackals are infuriating, frustrating, and crazy-making. You reach the end of your tether and you want to tell them everything that's wrong with them and more.

You've likely noticed that nothing good happens when you accuse them of being narcissistic,, point out their flaws, or ask them to change. What's much ore likely to happen is that they explode, spilling their nastiness in every direction. MAXIMUM AGGRESSION.

Listen to this episode to understand why and how to stop poking the Hijackal. You'll feel better when you stop.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Big link between narcissism and aggression
Narcissists don't take much provocation to be nasty, blaming, and shaming.
Narcissistic aggression is not caused by you, nor is it your fault
Hijackals are entitled, thin-skinned, and owners of fragile egos.
Both male and female narcissists are equally aggressive , though , it may show up in different ways.
Why you are best to step back and observe the Hijackal behavior rather than participate with it.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#aggressivebehavior #narcissistsareaggressive #passiveaggression #activeaggression #endingaggression #saynotoaggression

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Stop Kidding Yourself. Narcissists Behave Badly & Get Worse!!!

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 03:57:25 GMT

You want to believe that love can change people, right? So, you give, give, and give in yet nothing really gets better beyond a half minute. You decide to give more until there is little left of you. Nothing changes...except for getting worse. That's because their decision to change has nothing to do with it And, worse...they have no interest in changing to make things better.

Listen in to realize the many reasons WHY this is so, and WHY it's so hard to believe people who think and behave in narcissistic Hijackal ways exist...and see no reason to care how they affect you. ESSENTIAL TO RECOGNIZE!

IGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why you want to believe a narcissistic person can change
How believing a narcissistic person can change and investing it it robs you of time for healthier things
How a Hijackal manipulates you into thinking it's your job to please them and take care of them
Why you might stay TOO LONG in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist
Why it is essential to see a toxic relationship for what it is: UNHEALTHY

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#stopkiddingyourself #believinganarcissist #narcissistbehavesbadly #narcissistsgetworse #getawayfromamarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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How Having a Narcissistic Mother Messes with You Long-term

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 05:17:57 GMT

Male and female children are differently treated--and affected--by having a narcissistic mother. SO many things you may never have thought much about!

This episode will help you think in different ways about the long-term effects that having a Hijackal mother could have had on your sense of self, your self-confidence, your resilience...AND on your relationships. Use this episode to help you uncover hidden pieces SO you can turn them around and feel clearer and stronger.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Narcissistic mothers treat their sons and daughters differently\
Why you may have learned to have no needs...or deny the ones you have
How you were mothered shifts your responses in relationship
The impact of lowering your expectations of having your needs met
Why it's important to purposefully examine what happened to you...and its impact

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#havinganarcissisticmother #impactofanarcissisticmother #effectsofanarcissisticparent #beingtoonice

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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TOXIC SHAME - Why Narcissists NEED You to Feel WORTHLESS

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 03:49:28 GMT

Unless they want something badly, narcissists want you to be in emotional chaos. In fact, they want you to feel less than and inadequate. Back-handed and blindsiding, they do their best to keep you off center and uncertain.

Learn about toxic shame and how it may be playing out in your inner dialogue and in your relationship with a narcissistic parent and/or partner. See it so you can stop it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What is toxic shame?
How is toxic shame different from "normal" shame?
How do I know if I've experienced toxic shame?
Why narcissists are so likely to pass along the toxic shame they live beneath
Why everything threatens a narcissist
What narcissist do with toxic shame and why you need to know so you can avoid it

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#toxicshame #whydonarcissistsshameme #whatistoxicshame #guiltvsshame

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Is THIS Narcissistic? Q&A with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 03:21:33 GMT

New! Your questions are the focus for this episode. Narcissistic or not so much? What are you wondering about?

Recognizing the patterns, traits and cycles that ARE narcissistic is wise...AND so is discerning what is NOT narcissistic. Ask your questions in the chat and I'll answer them as clearly as I can.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Questions from audience about narcissistic traits
Are alcoholics likely to be narcissistic?
Do narcissists often have alcoholic tendencies?
What about a nitpicky boss?
When a man frequently cuts me off mid-sentence, is that a narcissistic?

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#isthisnarcissistic #whatanarcissistdoes #narcissistictraits #ismypartneranarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Triangulation is Manipulation

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 04:11:04 GMT

TRIANGULATION. See It. Say No, Step Away,. Understanding what triangulation really is allows you to see it more clearly and step away more readily. Get the inside scoop on this in your life. Once you see it, you can do something about it. You'll feel SO much better when you do.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What triangulation is
Why narcissistic people use triangulation
How to recognize the abuse of triangulation
How to step away, and say NO more often
Taking back your power in small ways from a narcissistic relationship

You often feel the triangulation before your recognize what's happening. A twisted story about you comes to you, and you're tempted to think it's a misunderstanding. When it comes from a narcissistic source, it's usually very purposeful; intended to confuse, concern, and create chaos.

Does this sound familiar?

Learn about the purposes of triangulation and how to catch it faster; how to redirect it and reduce the confusion.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#triangulationismanipulation #whynarcstriangulate #howtostepawayfromanarcissist #rejectingemotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Saying "NO" to a Narcissist & Making It STICK!

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 03:32:02 GMT

Narcissists HATE to hear "NO!" You don't want to be a pretzel or a doormat, so you NEED to say NO when you mean it.

Overtime, a Hijackal® may wear you down and try to get what they want by any means. How do you make NO mean NO...and make it stick? You already know how little a Hijackal® wants to be denied. A "NO" means that to them and they don't take it happily...or lying down.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Understand what a "NO" signals to a Hijackal
Why narcissists hate haring "NO"
What you can do to become assertive
Practicing saying "NO"
Making it stick require sticking with it

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#sayingnotoanarcissist #nonnegotiable #asolidno #makenocount #whynarcissistshateno

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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How Narcissists Create SITUATIONSHIPS NOT RELATIONSHIPS

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 03:13:05 GMT

It's all rosy, dreamy, and forever in the beginning...until it's not! You try and try to recapture interest, regain emotional intimacy, and re-examine every inch of your mental, physical, emotional self, and still the connection is intermittent. That's because narcissists--all Hijackals--create situationships NOT relationships.

You NEED the clarity of this distinction to really accept the realities of a Hijackal relationship. It helps a lot! Calibrate if you're settling for a situationship. Great place to start!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why it's important to distinguish between a relationship and a situationship
25 ways relationships are different from situationships....AND situationships will seldom become relationships
Unsettling things you need to know--even if you don't want to know--to clarify why your supposed "relationship" never feels fully OK
Can a situationship become a relationship? (Hint: rarely, if it's with a narcissistic Hijackal....AND I MEAN VERY RARELY!

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#situationship #situationsvsrelationship #amIinarelationship #amiina situationship #noequality

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Have a NARCISSISTIC ADULT CHILD? 21 Things NOT to Do

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 03:03:54 GMT

Having a Hijackal adult child is confusing, infuriating, disappointing, and frustrating among many other things. (And, it's worse when your child creates children!) What you DON'T do is as important as what you do. Listen to this episode to hear 21 things to think about right away. If you can refrain from doing these 21 things, you'll be empowered and no longer feel like a hostage to the Hijackal's bad behavior.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why learning to say no to a Hijackal is absolutely essential
No matter what old patterns you may have established, they can change
How Hijackals® want to insist that their bad behavior (if they ever admit they have any) is YOUR FAULT
Why these 21 things are HUGE and might take a while to put in place....AND, YOU'RE WORTH IT!
How you can give your life away to a Hijackal and why that's a very bad idea

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissisticadultchild #narcissisticbully #parentofanarcissist #myadultchildisanarcissist #idon'tlikemyadultchild #youcansayno

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Narcissists ARE Revenge-Seekers

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 03:22:48 GMT

You may not think about it like that, AND, it's true. Narcissists ARE Revenge-Seekers. Whether the revenge is subtle or obvious, small or huge, it's still revenge. Once you see what I mean, you'll see it clearly in your relationship...and, I hope you won't un-see it! It's nasty.

Revenge is the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong you think they caused you. Hijackals® sometimes don't wait for you to do anything at all. There's just blame you anyway. Familiar? Yes, so they can be pursuing revenge for some slight they made up in their head while driving home. And, they believe their revenge is justified because they convinced themselves of the slight or threat...whether it happened or not! Yes, it IS nasty!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What revenge is
Why Hijackals use it
Why you may have absolutely NO idea what they are upset about yet you're the one who is being discounted, put-down, dismissed, and violated
How revenge relates to projection
How projection works
The third piece of the puzzle: rejection ....and around it goes again!

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistrevenge #narcissistprojection #narcissistrejection #rejection #projection #seesubtlerevenge

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Stuck on a Partner's POTENTIAL Instead of Their REALITY?

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 03:28:30 GMT

You can get terrible stuck--for a very long time--by buying into a partner's potential. You can see how it could be, so you hope it will be. There's the mistake. See the differences today so you can make healthier decisions right away.

Open your mind to the idea that you keep buying into promises that never materialize. Is that possible? When you step back and look at the patterns, it's often the case when dealing with Hijackals®, or other narcissistic people. They'll tell you anything to get you hooked in this moment, promise you so much. Does it ever happen? Honestly, no, right?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why potential is not enough
Buying potential can bankrupt you
Being in denial about a partner or parent's manipulations
Ways to tell if you are stuck on a partner's potential rather than seeing their reality
Getting clear that things are not going to change in a positive way with a narcissistic person

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#denialaboutanarcissist #potentialisnothing #gettingreadytogetready #stuckbelievinglies #futurefaking

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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How NOT to Confuse BEING USED with BEING LOVED

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 05:45:04 GMT

It's confusing. You see what you think are loving behaviors. Then, you start wondering, but give a narcissist the benefit of the doubt. Then, you're in a pattern where things have gone lop-sided, pear-shaped, and somewhat south before you realized that you've confused being used for being loved. SO IMPORTANT TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE! Listen in.

You SO want to believe it is love. I understand that, however, you also don't want to be taken in by someone who never intends to love you in any meaningful way, right? That's why this episode is essential to listen to...even if you don't really want to. Nobody WANTS to admit they are being emotionally abused, but you can't change what you can't--or won't--see, right?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

t0 clear ways narcissists use you
See the distinctions between being love and being used
Importance of recognizing when you're being used
Hijackals® have uses for you, not love to give you

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#beingusedbyanarcissists #imfeelingused #narcissistsuseyou #imbeingusedbyanarcissist #nolovetogive

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Narcissists Use INSULTS Because They Can't Use LOGIC!

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 03:40:40 GMT

Insults are a low, low form of expressing disagreement. Not strange that narcissists stoop that low, is it? Their incessant NEED to win means they will go low in hopes of winning quickly. Sad & nasty! Insults only show emotional immaturity. Think of the playground.

Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong, said the philosopher, Rosseau. SO TRUE of narcissistic Hijackals!

The philosopher, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, said "Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong." That certainly rings true in the case of narcissist's. They are more frightened of accountability that almost anything.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

the lack of emotional maturity in narcissists
Why using insults appeals to Hijackals® so much
An excellent quote from Jamie Raskin, "An insult is not substitute for an argument." July, 2023
Why Hijackals and all narcissists try to distract with personal attacks and no logic
Recognizing that insults are abusive

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#insultisnosubstituteforanargument #lowformofdisagreement #lackofemotionalmaturity #distractfromaccountability #insultsareabusive #insultsonsocialmedia #personalattacks

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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NARCISSISTS = The Ultimate Frenemies

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 04:06:23 GMT

You want a best friend and a narcissist won't be one. You want a confidante and a narcissist uses your words against you. At best, Hijackals® are frenemies. You're unsafe around them. You feel the lack of safety, but sometimes you don't want to admit it. You recognize the friend/foe nature of them, and don't want it to be so.

Listen in to why it is important to recognize that frenemies is as close as you will ever really get to them. Sad, I know, but REAL!

If you have a Hijackal® in your life, you have a frenemy. No doubt about it! A frenemy is a person who combines the characteristics of a friends and an enemy. Once you know a Hijackal, you know that the "enemy" is always lurking. You cannot relax completely...if at all. They are ready to pounce unexpectedly. And, it hurts!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What frenemies are
How frenemies scare you
Why you're often afraid to get rid of a frenemy
10 distinct kinds of frenemies (Oh, dear!)
Make a decision about them....preferably now!

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#frenemies #frenemy #narcissistsarefrenemies #highpricetopayforlove #narcissisticfrenemy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Narcissists are AWKWARD. ANGRY & ARGUMENTATIVE

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 03:48:20 GMT

Sure, narcissistic folks can be charming when you meet them. You just don't know what's lurking in the background, right? It can happen quickly that Hijackals® go from charming to manipulative, but it may take a while to catch on to what's going on. Basically, though, they are awkward, angry, and argumentative.

In this episode, I talk about what "awkward" really means, and why it applies so well to the shenanigans of a Hijackal. Also, about why and the how the anger serves them, and results in you walking on eggshells. Once you see these things, you'll be better able to make good decisions for yourself about what to do about the behaviors.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Seeing narcissistic behavior clearly
How narcissists are awkward as well as creating awkward situations
The immature anger of narcissistic Hijackals
4 ways to recognize the argumentative nature of narcissists

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistsanger #argumentativenarcissist #hownarcissistsare #difficultpeople #seeingnarcissisticbehaviors

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

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Giving TOO MUCH? Empathy & Compassion Can TURN TOXIC!

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 04:19:09 GMT

In healthy situations, you would never think that empathy and compassion could have downsides, right? When you're with a Hijackal, a narcissistic, or other endlessly difficult person, you can find that you've stepped over into some strange land where empathy and compassion cause you to suffer. SO IMPORTANT to recognize when too much is too much and it's hurting you.

You'll also benefit from the tips in this episode to help you keep your empathy and compassion in balance. Game-changer!

It's a slow slipping away into taking care of the Hijackal's emotional demands and ignoring your own needs. You can lose yourself...even, abandon yourself. Listen in and avoid that. If you feel like you have already lost yourself, know that you can certainly come back from it, stronger. It takes work, and may be the best work of your life.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why too much empathy turns toxic and how
The toxicity of enabling
The problem of over-identifying with a Hijackal®
Losing yourself to meet the demands of a Hijackal
Reclaiming yourself after overgiving

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#toxiccompassion #toxicempathy #givingtoomuch #abandoningmyself #losingmyself #narcissisttakestoomuch #overgiving

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is a Narcissistic Hijackal Blowing Up Your Phone?

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 04:10:13 GMT

A BIG complaint I hear so often is that the partner of a narcissistic person--a Hijackal®--is blowing up their phone...daily. It's such a sign of things going sideways, and it slides into that territory too easily! How do you know when it's too frequent? Too unreasonable? Too disrespectful? Then, what can you do about it? Listen in. This is basic to your well-being....and, more importantly, your safety!

In the beginning of a relationship, a person calls and you may be flattered: "They like me!" When you're with a person with narcissistic tendencies, they blow up your phone to control you, to exert power over you. That's a whole different kettle of fish, right? Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why narcissists think they need to know what you're doing
When calling to check in with you changes to calling to check up on you
How narcissistic people think you "belong TO them" not "WITH them"
Why blowing up your phone is nasty digital surveillance
Steps to take to stop--or reduce--the unnecessary calls

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#blowingupmyphone #digitalsurveillance #needforcontrol #controllingperson #drivingmecrazy #narcissistblowsupmyphone

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu

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How Narcissists EXPLOIT Your Natural Longing for Love & Belonging

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 05:12:21 GMT

It is natural to want to be loved and love. We organically want to belong. Absolutely! It's healthy, too. However, narcissistic people and all Hijackals excel at manipulating you and your feelings for their own purposes.

You give and give, and still it's not enough. Then, they tell you that their poor treatment of you is not abuse, it's because you're inadequate. (Sad.) Not true. You are being used--and abused (yes, abused)--when all you're long for is love, understanding, and inclusion. Narcissists exploit your desire for a healthy relationship. It's sad, nasty, and very manipulative.

Listen in and find the words to describe what you're feeling and why..

To EXPLOIT means "to make full use of or derive benefit from." Aren't Hijackals expecting things to work for their benefit all the time? There's no equality in that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why it's natural to want to belong and feel part of a community/relationship
John O'Donohue's words on belonging
Understanding ways you may be being exploited by a Hijackal, a narcissist, or other difficult person
Why you might argue that you're not being exploited
Why you cannot live up to a narcissist's idealized version of you-
Why narcissists are more interested in using you than loving you
How Hijackals fail to see who you really are (aside from the fact that they don't care to!)

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#beingexploitedbyanarcissist #naturaltowanttobelong #lookingforlove #beingexploitedinthenameoflove #johnodonohue

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Narcissists are Masters of Crazy-making WhatAboutism

Tue, 30 May 2023 04:58:21 GMT

Ever feel your head spin when you're trying to express your feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs to a Hijackal? Of course, you have. That's because they are masters of this phenomena know as WhatAboutIsm or WhatAboutery. It's a powerful defense and deflection strategy narcissists use to confuse! Learn what it sounds like because you already know what it feels like. When you recognize it and name it for yourself, you can refuse to play along with it again.

The Hijackals defense mechanisms can be SO infuriating and frustrating. There SO many defense mechanisms It's crazy-making, and whataboutism is one of the most crazy-making. Learn more about that in this episode...and, what to do in the face of it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why Hijackals® use whataboutism
What "whataboutism" is and how it is defined
How whataboutism a dysfunctional defense mechanism
How whataboutism creates an instant double standard
Why hypocrites practice whataboutism
What to do in the moment that you recognize whayaboutism is happening

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#whataboutism #whataboutery #defensemechanism #narcissisticbehavior #narcissistaccountability #narcissistisconfusing

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

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NARCISSISTS! Do They Hurt You on Purpose?

Tue, 23 May 2023 04:07:28 GMT

People ask so often: Do narcissists and other HIjackals know that they are being mean, difficult, coercive, dismissive, and more? You want to know. In this episode, I'll lay it out and explain it all, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Listen and take it in because knowing this answer can change your relationship forever.

When you recognize what the narcissist or any other Hijackal does on purpose, you'll be affirmed that what you are thinking IS what is happening. Hijackals like to keep you as isolated as possible. They want to have power over you, and they do that by causing you to second-guess yourself and think you really are as flawed as they insist you are. Nasty!

Do they know they are mean? Do they choose to be mean? Do they recognize the pain they cause? Find out in this episode

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Do narcissists hurt partners on purpose?
Do narcissists plan to hurt you?
Why a narcissist chooses to hurt
How a narcissist choose who to hurt
Why knowing this can change everything

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#donarcissistshurtonpurpose #howanarcissisthurtsme #doesanarcissistknow #narcissistsaware #hurtmeonpurpose

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

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Narcissists: Rigid Thinkers Who Demand to be Right

Tue, 16 May 2023 03:38:28 GMT

Rigid thinking and what-about-ism are seriously linked. Know someone who is rigid in their thinking? They are RIGHT and that's all there is to it? And, if you don't agree with them, you're wrong...and, that there is something wrong with you? Hijackals® do that! Even entertaining your thoughts or feelings for a hot second is not on their playlist. Learn how pervasive this is so that you can clearly see it happening and make good decisions about the relationship.

What-about-ism relates directly to rigid thinking. People who are narcissistic convince themselves that they hold the only true and right opinions, judgments, perspectives, and objectives. No one else is right. In this episode, I talk about why this is SO important to narcissistic Hijackals of all stripes. Do you recognize these in the relationship you have in mind just now?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What rigid thinking is
How rigid thinking shows up in a relationship with a narcissist
Rigid thinking vs all-or-nothing thinking
Why Hijackals need to believe they are right
11 ways rigid thinking shows up
How what-about-ism relates to rigid thinking

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#whataboutism #whataboutery #rigidthinkingofnarcissists #mustberight #alwaysright #rigidthinkers

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

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Why Emotional Abusers Prefer People-Pleasers Who Fawn

Tue, 09 May 2023 03:50:47 GMT

Maybe, you're too nice. You fawn. You'll do anything to keep the peace...or, at least, sidestep potential rage if you can. Peace at any price, you may say. Maybe, you find yourself fawning. (Hear more about that in the episode, too!) Emotional abusers appreciate fawning. It's easier for them and they don't care about you. ESSENTIAL to see these dynamics clearly if they are playing out in any relationship in your life. When you do, you can take steps to change the patterns.

There's nothing wrong with being nice, but TOO NICE can set you up for emotional abuse. Listen to the 10 Whys. Emotional abusers--Hijackals--are emotionally lazy, so they prefer people-pleasers who are already trained and groomed to defer to them and their views, wants, and demands.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What happens when you're taught to be too nice
Why Hijackals® expect--and prefer--you to fawn over them
What fawning is in a relationship with a narcissistic person
10 WHYS Emotional abusers prefer people-pleasers
Unconscious habits of respond to people who are emotionally abusive

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionalabusers #fawing #Idontmatter #fawningresponse #beingtoonice #tooaccommodating

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

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SETTLING for Crumbs Leads to EMOTIONAL MALNUTRITION

Tue, 02 May 2023 03:58:46 GMT

Narcissistic people starve you in so many ways. Every now and again a narcissist--a Hijackal--is kind, offers a compliment, or shows interest in your feelings. THOSE ARE CRUMBS. You may be so starved that those crumbs feel like a feast. You make a big deal of it, and think the world has reset in your favor. NO! The Hijackal wants something from you and knows how to get it. It's important to see this clearly.

Emotional malnutrition is real. Malnutrition is the state of you end up in when you live with constant deficiencies, excesses, and imbalances in your intake. You don't get enough of what is life-giving and healthy. You get too much of what is depriving, degrading, and discounting. AND, nothing is every in a healthy state of balance. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

You find yourself starving for love, attention, acceptance, and validation
Why you get used to breadcrumbs
Why Hijackals will never engage in equality
Have you made yourself into a pretzel to try to please a HIjackal®?
Hijackals want you to be a doormat and then make you wrong for being one. Familiar?

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionalmalnutrition #putdownbyanarcissist #settlingforless #takingabuse #speakinguptoabuse #notgoodenough #settlingforcrumbs

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

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Narcissists PURPOSEFULLY Misunderstand You

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 03:37:38 GMT

So infuriating! Endlessly frustrating! Trying to talk with a narcissistic person--or any Hijackal--can be crazy-making. It usually is if you dare to even remotely want to discuss the dynamics of your relationship. You've likely been upset by their purposeful misunderstanding of what you say, what you do, and what you want. Why do they do it? What can you do about it? Listen in.

Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people who hijack relationships for their own needs--have to "on top" and "winning" all the time. That means that they are always on both the offensive and the defensive. One way they do that is to purposefully misunderstand what you say, do, need, and want. Their need to be right and have it their way means that you must be wrong. So, they purposefully misunderstand you in order for them to "win." Or, think they did.

Figure this out and see it clearly now. It will save you headaches and heartaches.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Misunderstanding you is convenient for them
Misunderstanding you is a redirect of a conversation they don't want to have
6 Ways narcissists purposefully misunderstand you
5 reasons why they purposefully misunderstand you
What you can do when you see the pattern

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#purposefullymisunderstand #beingignoredbyanarcissist #narcissistchangesmywords #feelingmisunderstoodbyanarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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STOP Getting Your Exercise by WALKING ON EGGSHELLS!

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 03:47:07 GMT

Are you exhausted by running after pleasing someone who seems dedicated to never being pleased? That's WALKING ON EGGSHELLS. That's the game. You do everything as right as you think they want it, and you are never rewarded by getting it right. Sound Familiar?

Narcissists and other Hijackals are looking for power, and one way they think works for this (because it usually does) is by withholding approval. That makes you run faster, they hope. Join me and find out how to stop getting your exercise on the Hijackal treadmill! .

Hijackals® want you to always feel not good enough, less than in as many ways as possible. Narcissists want to feel more powerful, more in control, and more important than you every minute. So, it leads to you walking on eggshells...and, that's not good.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why walking on eggshells is SO exhausting
You try to make things better, and they don't
7 signs you're walking on eggshells
Why narcissists want you to feel not good enough
Why getting your exercise by walking on eggshells needs to be unacceptable

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#walkingoneggshells #feelingnotgoodenough #allowedtobreathe #feelingdiscounted #myfeelingsdontmatter

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Continuous Coping = STUCK in SURVIVAL MODE

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 04:27:52 GMT

... and that is unhealthy -- for YOU.

Healthy relationships have equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. Toxic relationships do not. You will be coping tooooo much, and in balance tooooo little.

Does that sound familiar? You could be giving your life away to a narcissist with nothing but promises in return. Listen in to this episode and find out what's true for you.

To cope is defined as "to deal effectively with something" (Oxford) or to "deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties." When you have to do that ALL the time because you're with a person, partner, or parent who demands it, it's exhausting. Sure, we can cope with emergencies. That's normal and healthy. BUT, COPING all the time? NOOOOOO! That's what it feels like when you're with a narcissistic Hijackal, right? Everything is an emergency that you have to deal with: their emergencies, needs, demands, or directives.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why coping is an interim strategy, NOT a lifestyle
When you find yourself running to please someone else, you can lose yourself
Why it's important to see the narcissistic behavior clearly
Hijackals don't change except for a hot minute when they want something from you
Identify if you are exhausted from coping with a narcissist for years

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#copingisexhausting #narcissistisdemanding #hijackalisdemanding #copingskillsexhausted #copingistoomuch

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Why Narcissists Lie, Delay & Deny

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 01:46:52 GMT

SO FRUSTRATING! When you are with a narcissist or any kind of a Hijackal, you know that they use these three tactics to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Hijackals hate accountability, and will do anything to squirm out of it. They lie, delay, and deny. But why?

You likely have many ideas about why and I wanted to give you others. Hopefully, these insights will help you to see the depth of the insecurity and instability that is basic to narcissistic people. Yes, they don't seem insecure but they are. They often cover it well with arrogance and entitlement, however, it's still there and operating under the surface.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Narcissistic people need to put on a good show...and a false front
Why lying, delaying, and denying helps narcissists and other Hijackals think they are in control and have power over you.
The futility of thinking that narcissistic people will change
The infuriating denial to make themselves right
What's up with the plausible lies and plausibe denials

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistslie #narcissistlies #narcissistdenies #narcissistdelays #narcissistscontrol #controllingthenarrative #plausiblelies

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Stop GOING THE EXTRA MILE for a NARCISSIST!

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 05:10:27 GMT

It's tempting. You may think you're being "nice." After a while, you're doing all the giving. Then, it's exhausting!

Why does this dynamic happen? Why does it persist? What can you do to stop it? Listen in.

In the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, you may think you've found your perfect, ideal, longed for mater. Things shift. Things sour. Things take a turn and the narcissist--Hijackal®--wants more and more while they give less and less. All the while, the narcissist also becomes more demanding. Does this sound familiar?

You can give everything you have in every possible way and it may never be enough, or good enough, to please a narcissist because they believe in withholding love and approval. Sad. Nasty. That's why you'll want to gain clarity by listening to this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Narcissistic people give FAR LESS than they take, especially in emotional real estate.
Recognizing that you are doing all the work.
Giving up being hooked on hope that a narcissist will change, a HIjackal will change
Taking back your energy and reclaiming your power

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#goingtheextramile #doingtoomuchforanarcissist #cateringtoanarcissist #narcissistexpectstoomuch #narcissistwithholds

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Self-Centered vs Narcissistic. Is There a Difference?

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 03:27:10 GMT

Yes, narcissistic people are self-centered, but does the reverse hold true? Are self-centered people always narcissistic? Important distinctions here that can help you understand the troubling folks in your life. Or, do you think it's a distinction without a difference? Listen in and see what you discover.

In this episode, I offer you ten ways to see the differences between self-centered people and narcissistic people. These ten distinctions can be VERY helpful if you're wondering whether to stay in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or friend, or to break away. That's valuable! HINT: One of them can and will change, the other? Not at all likely!

We're all self-centered at some time...or wishing we could be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have your turn in the sun. The operant word, though is "turn." Hijackals want to have all the "turns," right?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

10 ways self-centered people are different than narcissistic people
Why it is important to see the distinctions between self-centered and narcissistic people
The part empathy plays in the distinctions
When there is entitlement, it changes the dynamic

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#selcenteredvsnarcissistic #selfabsorbed #narcissistic #differencebetweenselfcenteredandnarcissistic #empathy #entitled #entitlment

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Why Narcissists Insist You're NOT GOOD ENOUGH...even though they chose you!

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 03:49:31 GMT

Hijackals insist you're not good enough...even though they chose you or gave birth to you. What's up with that!@##%%!? It's crazy-making and it's important to understand why this happens. And, why it continues throughout the relationship unless you change. It's not OK.

This episode will help you clearly see through this crazy-making habit of emotional abuse: making you feel not good enough. It serves the Hijackal but it does not serve you. Understand these things so you can make positive changes right away.

When someone needs to put you down in order to feel better about themselves, there's trouble. That's what happening with narcissistic Hijackals. They may you feel:

"I'm constantly being put down."

"They make me feel not good enough."

"I am exhausted and feel worn down."

"I'm losing my ability to think clearly about myself."

"Am I really a terrible person?"

"Am I the problem in this relationship?"

That's JUST what a Hijackal® wants you to be thinking. Let's change that!!! Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why this quote is significant: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
How making you feel not good enough is key to gaining coercive control
Why you may need to change your internal dialogue
Why Hijackals and other narcissists like to amplify and magnify the message that you're not enough

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#notgoodenough #needtoputmedown #givemenocredit #emotionallyimmature #narcissisticfear

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Resentment Creates Rage & Repression. Not Good!

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 04:55:20 GMT

It's SO helpful to recognize the underlying resentments triggered in both a Hijackal AND their partner. Some may surprise you! Recognition leads to understanding which helps you to know your next best steps. Resentment is rife in all relationships with Hijackals...on both sides, too. You may feel it. Now, explore why and what's under that. Why? So you move forward wisely.

Both Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with narcissistic tendencies--and the person with whom they share a relationship will feel resentment. Very different reasons, but the same final result. It's important to learn the distinctions. It will help you understand why a relationship with a Hijackal is unlikely to sustain positive changes over time. Living in and with resentment coming towards you or coming from within you is consuming...and, not in a good way. Listen in!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Hijackals operate from resentment much of the time
Non-Hijackals live with resentment and often repress expressing it
Why you need to see these distinctions about resentment, rage and repression clearly
What you can do to take your next best steps after recognizing the presence of rage, repression and resentment

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#rage #repression #repressedrage #resentment #simmeringresentment #resentmentandrage

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Why It's Healthiest to Focus on Yourself, Not on the Narcissist

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 05:13:50 GMT

Don't Lose or Abandon Yourself!

Narcissistic people want all the attention as well as all the air in the room, right? You can find yourself giving it to them in hopes of them treating you better or liking/loving you more. Turn this around. Listen in to why you need to turn the focus on yourself and turn away from trying to please the narcissist.

This episode is very specifically focused on your relationship with a Hijackal, or any narcissistic person. It is based on the dynamic that the Hijackal wants to continuously create and how it is different from a healthy relationship. Hijackals are NOT self-reflective. You know that. You can lose yourself in meeting the demands, or believing the accusations of a narcissistic person, right? It usually happens slowly over time. Listen in to recognize if it's time for you to turn things around and go in a healthier direction for yourself (and your children.)

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why this episode focuses on a very specific kind of relationship. Check that out!
3 Must-Haves of a Healthy Adult Relationship = Episode 115
Why you want to keep balance in any relationship regarding power, status, and control
Recognizing when it's time to stop researching about toxic relationships and START making changes
Never let anyone habitually degrade, discount, or dismiss your needs, wants, feelings, or thought!

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#abandonmyself #losemyself #demandingnarcissist #selfcare #reclaimingmyself #reclaimmypower

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Why Being With a Hijackal is Like Juggling Jello

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 05:17:52 GMT

No Object Constancy Creates Constant Threats

Object constancy is very much missing in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, and it's an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship. In this episode, I explain what it is and what happens when it's missing.

Does your relationship feel like juggling jello? It will if you have a Hijackal in it!!!

Learn how to see and understand what's missing in your relationship that causes SO much tension and second-guessing. You may be blaming yourself as well as being blamed by the Hijackal, and IT'S NOT TRUE! That's why thinking about this important concept of "object constancy" helps you to understand why you feel so pushed around by the extremes of the Hijackal. Fancy name for a very important concept!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why life seems so unpredictable with a narcissistic person
How things so easily go from getting along to being threatened with being left and you feel blind-sided
How life with a Hijackal is like "juggling Jello" (Ever felt that way?)
What "object constancy" is and why it answers big questions about the way Hijackals are
How uncertainty becomes a constant in a relationship with a Hijackal

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#objectconstancy #wholeobjectrelations #beingthreatened #feelingthreatened #beingleft #neverfeelclose

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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SELF-DOUBT

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 05:02:12 GMT

Being with a narcissist or any Hijackal is exhausting! You really want to believe they love you and yet to scramble to find even little shards of evidence. Then, you make the shards sound like a whole thing, right? You second-guess yourself...because a Hijackal WANTS you to feel uncertain and confused. Listen in and recognize how and that this is happening, SO you can stop it!!!

Self-doubt means you lose faith and confidence in yourself and your abilities. You can also start questioning your memory, wants, judgment, needs, feelings, and thoughts. A Hijackal preys on your vulnerabilities in attempts to keep you second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. Do these 10 signs of self-doubt and low self-esteem sound familiar?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

How narcissists dominate the emotional landscape...or try to
Recognizing the ten 10 signs of self-doubt and its accompany low self-esteem
Why Hijackals NEED to take up too much space and leave you too little
Why eroding your self-confidence is a huge win for a narcissistic Hijackal
How to know it's time to say "NO" to someone who wears, tears, and puts you down.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#selfdoubt #livingwithanarcissist #haveanarcissisticparent #selfcritical #difficultpeople #lowselfesteem

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No Empathy = No Intimacy!

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 05:39:59 GMT

You look for signs that someone cares. You long for signs they love you, right? So any little glimmer seems hopeful. Yet, you feel alone, demeaned, dismissed, and ignored in so many ways. That's a problem!

In this episode, you'll learn more about why you cannot find the emotional intimacy you crave with an empathy-deficient person, a Hijackal who is narcissistic.. And, what you need to know to make good decisions about it, too. p.s. ALL Hijackals are narcissistic!

Hijackal® is my term for people who hijack a relationship for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge that relationship for power, status, and control. Got on in your life? A parent? Partner? Sibling? Adult Child? In-Law? Hijackals feel the need to take as much as they can from you, while giving you as little as possible to get away with. Familiar? Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why empathy is important to intimacy
Why you're not safe when there is no empathy
Why you must notice how you make excuses for the lack of empathy in others
How the desire for closeness with a person is healthy...and, what makes it not.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#notfeelingsafe #noemotionalsafety #noequality #noempathy #noemotionalintimacy #

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why You Can't Know, Like & Trust a Narcissistic Hijackal

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 05:14:41 GMT

They keep you guessing, don't they? Narcissists--and all Hijackals--like to keep you in uncertainty, chaos, and confusion.

You HOPE you know them, and then they make you question it.

Can you rely on them? Only for one thing...and, I tell you about that ONE thing in this episode along with many signs showing you that it is unwise to trust a narcissistic person even you want to believe you know and like them. Honesty is a big question when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal, as well as respect, reliability, safety, and trust. Much as you want to believe they have those things to give you...sadly, they don't...and won't.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Where the idea of "know, like & trust" came from: Bob Burg's book, Endless Referrals
How it applies to relationships
The one thing you CAN trust about Hijackals and other narcissistic folks
What makes it almost impossible for Hijackals to love you
6 predictable things about Hijackals®

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#knowliketrust #narcissistisunreliable #canttrustmypartner #canmypartnerchange #ihatethelies #timetoleave

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do You Have an Emotional Terrorist in Your Life?

Tue, 24 Jan 2023 04:57:47 GMT

Partner? Parent? Sibling? Child? Someone holding you as an emotional hostage? SEE THE SIGNS!

You may be making excuses for their behavior, and not seeing their destructive, manipulative ways. You need to clearly recognize these signs of emotional terrorists in action so you can clearly refuse to let them take you hostage.

You can become a hostage so slowly that you actually did so willingly. You thought it was compromise, collaboration, and the loving thing to do. You may not have thought of it as abusive...and, now is the time to find out what's really going on.

Emotional terrorists traffic in fear, obligation, guilt, anxiety, and hypervigilance. Do those sound familiar? You really NEED to know these signs!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

How emotional terrorists are similar to other kinds of terrorists
What emotional terrorists do to hold you hostage
How your empathy can be played upon by Hijackals and other emotional terrorists
Why it's important to not take on board what they say about you
How recognizing these signs of emotional terrorism can help you to strengthen your resolve to say NO to emotional abuse

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotiona.terrorists #emotionalterrorism #emotionalhostage #takebackyourpersonalpower #saynotoabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feel Lonely WITH Your Partner?

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 06:23:15 GMT

Recognize These Sure Signs They Are Emotionally Unavailable

...AND, it's not your fault! You can feel VERY lonely in a supposedly close relationship. You do everything you can to close the gap, yet nothing works. This episode will help you see what's up, and why it's a THEM problem, and not a YOU problem. Valuable to know so you won't lose sleep!

Recognizing the signs of emotional unavailability can relieve you of thinking you're not doing enough, or not good enough. That's GOOD NEWS!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What emotional unavailability feels like
Recognizing that emotional unavailability is not caused by you
How emotional unavailability is a defense mechanism
What emotionally unavailable people do and why
Signs of emotional unavailability

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionallyunavailable #notyourfault #lonelyinarelationship #partnerdoesntcare #doesntcarehowIfeel

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

20 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up In Your Adult Life

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 06:28:59 GMT

Wonder why you do what you do? Feel like you feel? What shaped you? Listen to this episode and check for these twenty ways you could be feeling and behaving that are result of things you may not even think about in your childhood. Good step towards enhanced emotional well-being.

It's NOT direct cause and effect. People and events in your early life CAN lead to the way your feel about yourself in relationship in your later life. Important to recognize so that you can make conscious decisions about what is best for you. Two children in the same family can have very different perceptions and reactions to the same event. Everyone is different. AND, some of these may resonate for you. Others may be validating. All are good to think about!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

20 possible responses to what you learned about yourself and others in your family
Not everyone is affected in the same way
Why it's wise to consider these
Knowing what you'd like to change is a powerful start for reclaiming your personal power
What contributes to your ability to trust
Why you may never feel safe

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#childhoodtrauma #whatchildhoodtraumacancreate #whydoIdothis #signsofchildhoodneglect #Iwantahealthyrelationship #wanttofeelsafe

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Got Peace? 8 Must-Haves for Emotional Well-Being

Tue, 03 Jan 2023 05:38:09 GMT

Are you focused on a Hijackal and not on yourself? That's just what the Hijackal wants you to do. Time for focus on your own internal well-being. In this episode, you'll hear 8 MUST HAVES, and, more importantly, WHY they are an essential place to start when you're feeling put down, worn down, and torn down by a narcissistic Hijackal. Regain your center. Reclaim your power...and rebuild your life.

Sound good? Great! You'll be on a good path to healthier relationships with yourself and others when you discover the power of these 8 MUST-HAVES. AND, put them into daily action in your life.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why balance is key
Why balance is next to impossible for more than a hot minute with a Hijackal®
Not co-regulating with a dysfunctional Hijackal
Recognizing your need for autonomy (Hijackals hat that!)
You have the right to express your feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants
Claiming your space in life with anyone

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionalwellbeing #dysfunctionalcoregulation #autonomyishealthy #takecareofmyself #expressmyfeelings #innerpeace

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Gaslighting Sadly is the Word of the Year for 2022

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 06:43:00 GMT

It's a sad turn of events when a way of misleading and manipulating people is the word of the year for Merriam-Webster. It's TOO much. It's emotional abuse. It's TOO frequent. Have you been gaslighted? Do you wonder if you're experiencing it?

It can begin very subtly, and you might feel a little flattered...or close. Slowly it becomes more persistent, and you might start second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. That's when you NEED to KNOW it's GASLIGHTING!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What gaslighting is
How it was chosen as the word of the year for 2022 by the Merriam-Webster dictionary
Why it's important to see it when it's happening, or has happened, to you
How it changes your self-confidence and self-esteem
The impact of gaslighting

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#gaslighting #whatisgaslighting #secondguessingmyself #amicrazy #deviouscommunication #emotionalmanipulation

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How & Why Hijackals Reject Equality

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 05:15:14 GMT

So frustrating, disappointing, and infuriating! Hijackals will NOT allow you to be equal in all the ways that count in a relationship. They reject it. It helps you to see it when you hear how and why it happens. You can feel it, for sure, but SO MUCH BETTER to know what's up, right?

Ever have the lingering feeling that the person you have in mind right now is not interested in ever letting you feel good enough? Be right? Get what you want? That's because of underlying inequality in many cases. I mean it: this is SO important to recognize and lean into. It can be the beginning of changing the games they play.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What equality looks like...AND, what it doesn't
Why Hijackals have no interest in equality
Why Hijackals of all stripes really think you're disposable
How inequality creates such stress and tension...and, you often think it's something else doing that.
How to see the inequality clearly and make good decisions about it

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#nevergoodenough #cannotbeequal #alwaysneedstowin #lackofequality #emotionalmanipulation

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hijackals® = Masters of Bait & Switch

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 04:39:32 GMT

Promises! Proclamations! Pronouncements of just what you want to hear. Does it happen as promised? No! See tactics for what they are: ways to get you stay, or get you onside, or get around you. SO important to recognize the bait & switch as it's happening. This episode helps you do just that!

Hijackals use "Bait & Switch" tactics to get you to stay, to get off their backs, to get you onside with them, and to keep you fooled. Oh, NO! That can't go on any longer. See the tactics clearly for what they are, not for what you hope they might possibly be. The Hijackal is counting on you believing them, and believing in them. NO! They are not trustworthy and this episode will help you see even more reasons not to trust them.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Tactics Hijackals use to keep you hooked...and believing them
What "bait & switch" looks like in Hijackal relationships
5 "Bait & Switch" moves most narcissistic people use to manipulate you
Why you need to see these tactics and refuse to believe them again

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#baitandswitch #foolingme #ingenuineoffer #manipulationtactic #emotionalmanipulation

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Handling the Horrors of Hijackal In-Laws

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 05:30:10 GMT

Whether they are your in-laws--parents or siblings, or your adult children's in-laws, you can feel frustrated, infuriated, diminished, dismissed, or downright denied by in-laws you need to be right and want to be in control. It can tear your relationships apart. Worse, it can tear YOU apart! In this episode, you'll learn to recognize subtle and in-your-face screaming signs that Hijackal in-laws won't be ignored. Learn some ways to handle the horrors of Hijackal in-laws.

Direct emotional abuse from a Hijackal in-law is often couples with indirect emotional abuse through the family. It's important to do what you can to stop the flying monkeys, triangulation, and constant drama!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

The 7 horrors of Hijackal in-laws
What you MUST handle first when you recognize you have a Hijackal in-law
Traits of difficult in-laws
10 approaches to handling Hijackal in-laws

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#hijackalhorrors #hijackalinlaws #difficultinlaws #mychildmarriredanarcissist #handlingdifficultinlaws

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Any Chance You're Addicted to the Drama?

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 04:56:34 GMT

You need to consider whether or not you're addicted to the drama of being with a Hijackal or any other relentlessly difficult person. You may not have ever thought about it that way, BUT it's SO important to check out whether or not you ARE ADDICTED to drama. This is something you can change!!!

Is your life an emotional rollercoaster? Good sign there is drama involved!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Checklist of addiction to drama from the book, Soul Solitude by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler and G. Charles Andersen, MA
How you can become addicted to drama without realizing it
8 Secrets you can use to figure out if an addiction to drama has you in its clutches
The benefits of recognizing any signs that you are addicted to the rollercoaster that is life with a Hijackal

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#addictedtodrama #dramaofabuse #foolingmyself #youcanchangethis #giveupthedrama

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are You Overcoming Codependence?

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 18:07:26 GMT

Good for you! Recognizing codependent self-talk is a super important part of overcoming unhealthy emotional reliance on others...particularly those Hijackal others!!! Reflect on these ten things you may be in the habit of telling yourself, and change your habits to healthier ones.

You are important. Your needs are important to know and to express. You are not selfish for keeping a balance between compassion for yourself and compassion for others!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

How codependence shows up in your relationship
Definition of codependence
Changing self-talk that makes codependence OK
10 things to change in your self-talk to be more balanced and assertive

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#codependence #overcomingcodependence #negativeselftalk #codependentselftalk #changeyourselftalk #getunstuck

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why You Might Be Afraid to Leave an Emotional Abuser

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 05:37:24 GMT

Leaving an emotional abuser is taxing, difficult, and brave. So many considerations! And, if you have children, so many more.

When you're with a Hijackal, you can be too trauma-bonded to see your way clearly to dinner time, let alone to see your way to leaving. In this episode, I offer many considerations that can seem daunting...at first. Breaking them down makes it more apparent what might be holding you back from leaving an emotionally abusive situation, whether that is with a partner, parent, sibling, in-law, or friend.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why you feel exhausted, frustrated, anxious & unsafe
How you talk yourself into staying
Fears you have about leaving an emotional abuser
Addressing your fears, and fear of failure

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#leavinganabuser #leavingemotionalabuse #decidingtoleave #leavingahijackal #fearoffailutre

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is All or Nothing Thinking RUINING Your Relationship?

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 04:26:20 GMT

Understanding how "all or nothing" or "black and white" thinking divides your relationship and reduces the possibilities for growing towards each other is EYE-OPENING. It's always lurking in a Hijackal relationship, and being ready to do it differently can be GAME-CHANGING. In this episode, explore the how's and why's, as well as the what-to-do's when this "splitting" occurs.

Black & white thinking leaves you feeling confused, uncertain, and fearful.NO MORE!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What splitting is
Why Hijackals are caught in black or white, all or nothing thinking
How to recognize and define all or nothing thinking
Ways in which splitting or black and white thinking shows up
What Hijackals do to emphasize their points when splitting

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#splitting #psychologicalsplitting #blackandwhitethinking #allornothingthinking #crazy-making

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hooked On HOPE a Hijackal Will Change?

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 05:39:14 GMT

You'll be hoping for a very long time, and is that OK with you? If you're giving yourself excuses to take action, hoping a Hijackal will change is often at the top of that list. Listen to the episode to see this all more clearly.. Don't abandon yourself by giving your life over to being hooked on hope!

Hooked on hope actually means "addicted to the expectation for something you desire to happen." That might help you see the problem.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why there is little hope a Hijackal will change
Why the change required is to be the one who is changing
Why you may think it's best to "not give up on the relationship"
Love-bombing vs. real, healthy love

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistsdontchange #hookedonhope #waitingforchange #hijackalsdontchange #abusersseldomchange #stopwaitingforsomeonetochange

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How & Why to STOP ENABLING a Hijackal

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 03:43:44 GMT

You are likely anxious, feeling unsafe, angry, and exhausted from life with a relentless difficult Hijackal. Understanding enabling and knowing how to stop--beginning with small ways--is important for your well-being and mental health. You likely never meant to become an enabler. It happens slowly. And, just as slowly, you abandon yourself in favor of meeting the needs and taking responsibility for the actions of another person.

See the enabling clearly, and use these 10 Ways to find your way back from enabling other adults. Not your job!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Dr. Shaler's definition of enabling
How enabling differs from empathy
Not being responsible for the actions of others
Essential nature of boundaries
10 Ways to Stop Enabling over time

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#stopenabling #whatenablingis #enablingvsempathy #enablingisdisabling #abandoningmyself

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dealing with EMPATHY-DEFICIENT People

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 04:59:03 GMT

There's that person who seems incapable--and, also unwilling--to ever put themselves in your shoes, right? Or, that person who doesn't want to hear anything about you and always returns the conversation to themselves? Or, that person who could care less that you are hurting, celebrating, or anything in between? They may be empathy-deficient. I'm sharing some ways to know if that's a pattern, and who they really are.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

3 kinds of empathy
what it means to have an empathy deficit
how it feels to be in a relationship with an empathy-deficient person, parent, partner
why they do things for others they won't do for you
10 ways to deal with a person who doesn't care to understand your feelings, circumstances, or needs

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#empathydeficient #empathydeficit #hasnoempathy #dealingwithapersonwithnoempathy #doesmypartnercare

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't Be Sucked In By Future Faking!

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 03:47:43 GMT

"OK, Babe, I promise you the world." But, what about delivery? Learn more about how Hijackals trick you into believing they are GOING TO do something, or WANT the same things you want. It's Future Faking!

It's SO important to see the patterns, and sometimes, when you've been worn down and torn down by living in a toxic relationship, you simply don't see them. Future Faking is important to recognize. It can make the difference between staying and going!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What Future Faking is
Why you may not clearly see the future faking
How to see future faking for what it is
Recognizing the patterns of future faking in your relationship may help you see why you stay for more abuse
The manipulation: love-bombing, seduction, bait-and-switch of future faking

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#futurefaking #emptypromises #failuretodeliver #promiseanything #suckedinbypromises

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BEWARE! Why Hijackals Generalize, Globalize & Gloss Over

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 03:46:47 GMT

Hijackals will do whatever they think they need to do to "win" in any moment. Generalizing, globalizing and glossing over information is a strategy--a trick--they use to go for that "win." Once you clearly see it, you will be able to counteract it, but you may not be recognizing it quite yet. This episode will expose the trick and the tactics.

Feel bullied in a conversation with a narcissistic person? This could be why.

.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why Hijackals--narcissistic people--have to be right
Another tactic Hijackals use to make you feel unimportant
How generalizing, globalizing, and glossing over is an attempt to kill the conversation
Why it is SO important to recognize this globalizing tactic so you won't be taken in by it

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#generalizing #globalizing #sayingeveryoneknows #tacticsofnarcissists #tacticsofhijackals

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Working Through the GRIEF & RELIEF of Leaving a Hijackal

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 05:31:21 GMT

It can be such a rollercoaster! Whether you're thinking about leaving, or have left, you can run between grief and relief. Knowing how to think it through and work it through makes the journey back to healthy living more possible. Yes, you may be all over the place, AND it's OK. Use these insights and strategies to make it through.

Leaving an abusive relationship, healing begins once you've left. Recovery takes much longer.

.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What "Complicated Grief" is
Fears you may have before or after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship
Insights into what causes the guilt of leaving
Why you may not allow yourself to feel relieved after leaving
Ways to think about leaving to reduce the grief and enjoy the relief

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#griefafterleaving #reliefafterleavingabuse #freedomfromabuse #guiltaboutleaving #leavinganabuser

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Going NO CONTACT!

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 03:36:00 GMT

Use my "Get to NO Guilt" Strategies in this episode. You often don't get much support for going no contact with the relentlessly difficult people in your world. Folks project their sense of guilt on you. Don't let that sabotage what's best for your well-being! In this episode, It's time to do it!

You matter! You need to take good care of yourself, and a Hijackal will never help you do that. That's why sometimes the only thing to do is to stop all contact and communication. It's not easy, but it's imperative.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why people try to talk you out of going No Contact
The 10 NO's of NO Contact
Why it is difficult go decide to go NO Contact
What to do if you're tempted to break NO Contact
10 Ways to Get To NO Guilt about NO Contact

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#goingnocontact #cuttingofftoxicpeople #howtogonocontact #stayingnocontact

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Circular Conversation. Crazy-Making

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 05:39:37 GMT

So many parallels to being in a blender!. Those conversations that go round and round and get you right back to focusing on the Hijackal. Crazy-Making indeed. Let's recognize those circular, get-us-nowhere-good interactions and know how to exit them somewhat safely.

Involved in repeated arguments that never resolve anything? Feel like you're talking to the wall? Is it always your fault? See the patterns in your relationship after listening to this episode, and begin to remove yourself from circular conversation.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why you want to avoid the spin cycle
How Hijackals want to entrap you in circular conversations
9 things that WILL happen in a #circularconversation
Why they are crazy-making

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#circularconversations #crazymaking #wordsalad #notlistening #powerover #Gremlins1984

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some Parents Can't Love

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 05:41:07 GMT

Having a parent who could not love is NO reflection on your lovability! As a child, you couldn't know this. So, it became part of the fabric of who you think you are. It's NOT YOUR FAULT! Listen in to recognize what happened to you, and how it may be affecting your self-esteem and relationships. It could begin to change everything for you!

Narcissistic, passive-aggressive parents are self-absorbed. Even if they have something to give you, they will withhold it, or take it for themselves.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why parents not loving you is not about you
12 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive parent
How having a Hijackal parent affects your view of yourself
Hijackal parents give their children warped views of relationship
Insights into your own relationships

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#parentcantlove #parentdoesntlove #nolovetogive #narcissisticparent #susanforward

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Know a Histrionic Hijackal? A Demanding Drama King or Queen?

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 04:13:36 GMT

What a performance! Do you ever shake your head as you watch? And, they all too often get their way because you don't see what they're about, nor what they're up to. See them clearly so you can stop being their adoring audience!

When you're with a person with histrionic tendencies, you have season tickets to a one-person show. It's exhausting. Once you see those shenanigans for the attention-seeking devices they are, you'll give up your seats to the show...or, at least, stop applauding or more!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What does histrionic mean
Why being with a histrionic person is so exhausting
15 ways to recognize histrionic behavior of Hijackals
Why they make things up to make you focus only on them
Can a histrionic person change?

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#dramaqueen #dramaking #histrionicpersonality #crazymaking #centerofattention

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Trauma-Bonding is SO Confusing

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 05:26:10 GMT

Am I in love or trauma-bonded? Did my parents love me or was I trauma-bonded? Essential to know! Understanding trauma-bonding--what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like--can help you end the confusion and see clearly. Then, you can make good decisions about the Hijackals in your life and choose healthy relationships.

Trauma-bonding is addictive, and it takes strength and courage to turn away. You CAN DO IT!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What is trauma-bonding
Why you can be confused by it
Why trauma-bonding can be mistaken for love WHICH IT IS NOT!
Ways to recognize trauma-bonding conversations
See the cycle: Manipulate. Abuse. Manipulate.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#traumabonding #whatistraumabonding #traumabondingisnotlove #controllingrelationships

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hijackals NEED to Play Victim

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 05:03:59 GMT

Oh, the webs Hijackals weave to trap you into their fabric! One of those is playing the victim, and another is the "you don't care enough for me" one. Sounds familiar? Learn more about the subtle and obvious ways they try to keep you trapped.

Oh, yes, they will do anything for attention and to bring the spotlight to themselves! What better way than to play "poor me?" The victim. The one who NEVER gets their needs meet, or their voice heard. So sad. SO NOT TRUE! Yet, it happens over and over. Sound familiar? Listen to this episode so you'll see these ploys every time.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What a victim really is
Why playing the victim is manipulating
7 reasons why narcissists play victim
6 essential approaches to not falling for Hijackals playing the victim

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#playthevictim #narcissistsneedattention #playingthevictimforattenton #whyhijackalsplayvictim

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steps to Overcoming the Emotional Fatigue Caused By a Hijackal

Tue, 26 Jul 2022 05:46:03 GMT

You know it. You're exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. You may have backed down so far that you feel like you're playing dead. Energy depleted and wondering where to find some.

First understand more about the symptoms of emotional exhaustion. Then, how to take steps to slowly find the energy---and motivation--to make some positive changes.

Slowly regain some energy to move towards positive possibilities for yourself and your children. Recognize causes & symptoms of emotional exhaustion.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

12 ways Hijackals and other relentlessly difficult people are emotionally exhausting
Symptoms of emotional exhaustion that are vital to see
How difficult people slowly wear you down
Steps to giving up feelings of helplessness and/or powerlessness

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionalexhaustion #emotionalfatigue #narcissistwearsmeout #exhaustedbyemotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Things You Will NEVER Get From a Hijackal Human

Tue, 12 Jul 2022 05:02:57 GMT

Hijackal Humans are different than Healthier Humans. You look to them to think, think & feel the way you do, but they don't. Know these 10 things you hope are going to show up in your relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal Human will not.

Because you're likely a Healthier Human, you want to believe a Hijackal will change. Sadly, no. The relationship will never be healthy, balanced, and loving. It's not what a Hijackal wants!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why you will never get equality from a Hijackal, a narcissistic person
Ten things you'll never get that you really, really want from a partner
Why the three must-haves of a healthy adult relationship will be missing
Why it's time to recognize that nothing you do will change this for more than a hot minute

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionallyunavailable #refusetogive #alwaystaking #hijackalhumans #narcissisticperson

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Shattering Signs Your Partner is Having an Emotional Affair

Tue, 28 Jun 2022 03:31:09 GMT

"Oh, we're just friends." You want to believe that, but how do you know if it's true. Here's how to tell if that "friendship" IS emotional infidelity, an emotional affair, and/or just plain cheating. Don't be fooled. See & believe these signs!!!

It's tempting to believe them, especially because then you don't have to feel the feelings or take action. BUT, doing so is unhealthy!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What an emotional affair really is
Is it cheating?
Why Hijackals (relentlessly difficult people) are often emotionally unfaithful
10 BIG differences between "being friend" & having an emotional affair
What emotional infidelity looks and sound like
Things people say when they're actually cheating emotionally

I'm here to help

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionalaffair #emotionalinfidelity #emotionallyunfaithful #emotionalcheating

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Emotional Abuse Creates Fear of Rejection

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 04:51:30 GMT

Find yourself afraid you're not good enough? You won't be hired? You won't be wanted? Loved? Accepted? Fear of rejection may be the culprit underlying those thoughts. SO IMPORTANT to recognize so you can overcome the fears that may be holding you back from healthier relationships with yourself and others...including the NASTY Hijackals!

Recognize the limitations that the fear of rejection creates in your life, so you can reject it! No need to allow that fear to rule. See it. Reject it. Change it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Dr. Shaler's definition of emotional abuse
How you feel when you fear rejection
How fear of rejection limits your life & relationships
How Hijackal (narcissistic) parents control you with this fear

I'm here to help

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#fearofrejection #definitionofemotionalabuse #narcissisticparent #whereIgotfearofrejection

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Recognizing How GASLIGHTING is Intentionally Crazy-Making

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 03:51:05 GMT

Bit by bit, you start to second-guess yourself, and even question your sanity. Gaslighting will do that! Learn what it is and how to recognize even the most subtle forms. ALSO, gaslighting is emotional abuse. So, see it so you can stop it from making you crazy!

Gaslighting is emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. NOT GOOD! The sooner you see the more subtle forms as well as the more obvious forms of gaslighting, the sooner you'll step back and reclaim your self-confidence. May not happen overnight, but it will happen!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Obvious & subtle examples of gaslighting
How repeatedly gaslighting you wears you down
Hijackals want to define your reality for you

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#crazymaking #gaslighting #intentiallycrazymaking #manipulation #definingmyrealityforme

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dealing with Hijackal Lies: Pathological & Natural

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 04:57:44 GMT

Lies of any kind undermine trust. Big difference between folks who decide to lie and those who don't.

Learn how you can respond effectively, though it may not stop the lying.

Learn the distinction between natural & pathological liars. It's a big one! But, does it make a difference when you're on the receiving end of it?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why people lie
Why Hijackals think you'll finally believe their lies. (Do you?)
How they lie about the most important thing: love
Differences between natural liars and pathological liars
Why you may not be willing to pay the high cost of uncovering deceit...but need to!

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#naturalliars #pathologicalliars #costofdeceit #believinglies #IknowImbeingliedto

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Safely Read Narcissistic Hijackal Smiles & Smirks

Tue, 31 May 2022 04:57:41 GMT

Can you trust a smile? How do you read a smirk? What's the difference? What do they mean? When dealing with narcissistic Hijackals, you REALLY need to know! Learn about detecting signs of danger. Know when you need to protect yourself. Know when it's safe to connect (and, it rarely is when you have a Hijackal partner, parent, sibling, or adult child, sadly)

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

The confusing clash of non-verbal cues from Hijackals
The difference between a genuine smile and a "social" smile
Why Hijackal smiles are often forced, and their laughter is hollow
8 nasty reasons Hijackals smirk

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#mixedmessages #manipulativecommunication #manipulatingmessages #mixedmessagesofanarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Hijackals (Narcissists) Keep You Hooked By Mixed Messages

Tue, 24 May 2022 05:17:13 GMT

Yes? No? Maybe? Someday? Your head can be spinning! What to believe? How to decide? What to pay attention to? MIXED MESSAGES keep you hooked, questioning your sanity, and second-guessing yourself. One thing you CAN BE CLEAR about: you need to see those mixed message for what they are: CONTROL.

It's tempting to focus on the parts of a mixed message that you SO want to be true. You can fool yourself that way. And, you'll suffer. Hopefully, this episode will help you with insights to stop all that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

What kinds of mixed messages there are
How mixed messages can be delivered over time and/or in one sentence
Examples of mixed messages from parents & partners
How you decide what part of a mixed message to believe

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#mixedmessages #manipulativecommunication #manipulatingmessages #mixedmessagesofanarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How You Are Manipulated By a Narcissist's Voice

Tue, 17 May 2022 04:24:52 GMT

Whether you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or other of the narcissistic variety, knowing how they manipulate you with their voices is important to recognize. AND, they only do some of that manipulating consciously. Once you're aware of these important cues, you can refuse to be affected. GREAT!

This episode will help you see how you're being subconsciously affected by the tone, pace, volume, and other cues that a Hijackal gives through their voice.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

How your body reads the Hijackal
Why your mind argues with your body
Why you need to know you can trust your body's wisdom
How Hijackals manipulate you with their voice
Know what you're actually taking in...and
Know to trust your body

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#polyvagaltheory #neuroception #subconsciouslymanipulated #voicemakesmefeelunsafe #readingvoicecues

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Nasty Ways Hijackals Perpetrate Post-Separation Abuse

Tue, 10 May 2022 05:06:00 GMT

Relief! Yes, you think you'll feel it when you leave an emotionally abusive relationship, and you will...in some ways. Then, in too many ways, the Hijackal is likely to do everything possible to exert continued control over you...and, over your children. Eight ways Hijackals continue to exert control. Is it happening to you?

(NOTE: This episode ends abruptly due to technical issues.)

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

How domestic violence and domestic abuse can continue after separation
What post-separation abuse is
6 ways to prepare for after leaving a Hijackal ( or anyone who is narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, psychopathic, or sociopathic)
How ACEs--Adverse Childhood Experiences--often follow separating from a Hijackal
Preparing to be safe after leaving an abuser

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

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WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#postseparationabuse #violenceafterIleave #narcissisticabuse #whathappensafterIleave #abuseafterleaving #leavinganabuser

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#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Saying No to "Shoulds" & Toxic Shame

Tue, 03 May 2022 03:42:27 GMT

Who has told you what to do and how to do it? Who told you who you are and what you're worth? Did it include "shoulds" and shame? So important to recognize because it may be still playing a part in your life. Also, others can still tap into it, especially Hijackals.

So many ways that narcissists and other Hijackals want to exert power over you, and do it by continuously shaming you, making you wrong, small, guilt-ridden, and diminished! Toxic shaming is one of those ways. See it clearly so you can reject it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why you may not realize how many times you've been told you "should"
Why "shoulding on yourself" is toxic
The myth of perfectionism
What toxic shame is
How toxic shame is perpetrated
Internalizing toxic shame

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

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#shoulds #toxicshame #whatistoxicshame #hownarcissistsusetoxicshame #hijackalstoxicshame

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Why Hijackals Traffic in Guilt

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 04:55:06 GMT

People have learned that making another person feel guilty is a quick way to control that person's emotions...negatively. You may be so used to it and you haven't questioned whether or not you've actually done what you are being accused of. OR, even more sad, you've been blamed so many times you've begun to feel that EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT.

That's what happened when a healthier human spends to long with a Hijackal parent, partner, OR WORSE, both! Clearly see this damaging tactic for what it is, and why it is effective SO you can say NO!!! to feeling guilty any longer.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

Why narcissistic folks want to manipulate you with guilt
Difference between guilt and feeling guilty
Reasons people want you to feel guilty
How to stop feeling guilty

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly seminar, AND an online Emerging Empowered Journal with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#wantyoutofeelguilty #makesmefeelguilty #guiltyisnotafeeling #guiltisaverdict #guiltproducing

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Expectations, Agreements & Boundaries

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 06:42:33 GMT

When you're dealing with narcissistic Hijackals, you think one thing is in place, and the Hijackal thinks another. You think you have agreement and you sadly learn you don't. And, boundaries! SO important. Be clear what they are and how to manage them.

Hijackals constantly move markers, and you need to know how to respond in healthier ways. Refusing to hold agreements or respect boundaries is emotional abuse in a relationship. Not acceptable, right? Know these distinctions and get very good at setting and maintaining boundaries.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why distinctions among expectations, agreements and boundaries are important
Why boundaries need to be carefully thought through
The most important thing after clarifying a boundary
Why boundaries are essential when dealing with toxic relationships and emotional abuse

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

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#expectationsinarelationship #boundarieswithnarcissists #boundarieswithHijackals #whyboundariesareimportant

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Why Hijackals Demand Enmeshment

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 03:58:20 GMT

So confusing to be with a demanding person! Worse to be with a demanding Hijackal who feels entitled to take center stage while walking over you to do so. Recognize the signs of enmeshment and how they serve the Hijackal but fail to serve you. In fact, enmenstment can hurt you terribly, mentally and emotionally..

Beware of people who say "I know you better than you know yourself." Hijackals love to think that, and say it, too! Not only is it gaslighting, but is untrue. BUT, they need it to be true so they feel in control and able to see a clear path to manipulation.and control.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What enmeshment is
Signs you're in an enmeshed relationship
How Hijackals and other narcissistic people use enmeshment and pretend it is love
Why you need strong boundaries, well-expressed and maintained
Why it's essential to cultivate honest, healthy autonomy

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

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#enmeshment #enmeshmentisnotlove #controloveryou #manipulationtactics #whatenmeshmentmeans

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Cognitive Dissonance

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 05:33:25 GMT

Crazy-making? Oh, yes. Hijackals and other narcissistic folks can create havoc. You start second-guessing yourself, and even questioning your sanity. You can't tell which end is up or where you begin and end, either. Cognitive Dissonance plays a big part!

If your relationship causes you to feel anxious, be paralyzed by self-doubt, or have difficulty making clear decisions, you're likely experiencing frequent moments of cognitive dissonance. Not healthy! It's crazy-making. So important to recognize what's happening, and start saying "NO!"

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How cognitive dissonance can cause you to feel like your head is about to explode
Examples of cognitive dissonance that narcissistic Hijackals create
How cognitive dissonance affects you & your view of your relationship
What to do to reground yourself & stop believing the Hijackal

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

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#cognitivedissonance #emotionalchaos #mypartneriscrazymaking #crazymakingbehavior #emotionallyconfusing

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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2 Crazy-Making Patterns Hijackals Use to Confuse

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 04:43:21 GMT

How do Hijackals make you second-guess yourself and question your sanity? Basic to them doing that is the two patterns in this episode of Save Your Sanity. Recognizing them in all their forms can help you in Escaping the Hijackal Trap.

Hijackals are ALWAYS defending themselves, whether they need to or not. They are ALWAYS DEFENSIVE. Always on the alert for anything that could vaguely pass as shame coming their way. That makes for a volatile, tense person laying in wait to accuse of thing they did not do. Sound familiar?

Emotional intimacy is too much of a threat to a Hijackal, so they use these two big strategies to keep the truth from emerging.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Two HUGE blocks to emotional intimacy
5 ways Hijackals deny the truth

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

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#preventemotionalintimacy #whynarcissistslie #whynarcissistsdeny #lyinganddenying.

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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8 Ways to Stand Up to Hijackal Disrespect

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 03:45:46 GMT

Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people--like to dish out and scatter disrespect whenever they want to demonstrate power and control. NO! That has to stop!

In this episode, I'm offering you 8 solid ways to work within yourself and say NO TO DISRESPECT. Eight very good ways to reclaim your personal power and give voice to some boundaries. Listen in. These are MUCH NEEDED strategies!

Respect means to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. Do Hijackals offer that? NO! That's where your relationship with a Hijackal basically goes off the rails: they have no respect for you...or, for anyone else.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why & how to shift your internal dialogue with yourself
Why not to buy into their attempts to upset you
What to say to refuse the abuse
How to respond to their yelling

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

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#narcissistdisrespect #dealingwithdisrespect #noyelling #refuseabuse #respectme #respectforme

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Recognizing the Emotional Abuse of Chronic Criticism

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 04:48:12 GMT

Live with someone or raised by someone who was always finding fault? Always against something? Always putting you down? The wear and tear of these kinds of emotional abuse is immense...and continuous. See these ten chronic abuses you may not even realize are happening daily!

Chronic criticism wears you down, tears you down, and gets you used to being put down. None of those are good things! If you had a Hijackal parent, and find yourself with a Hijackal partner, you'll have a lifetime of constant criticism leaving you to wonder if you'll ever be good enough. Have you experienced that?

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

10 emotional abuses that create constantly feeling criticized
Why Hijackals, narcissists, etc. have to put you down
Exhausting ways Hijackals try to make you feel not good enough\
How Hijackals are defensive and offensive simulatneously

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

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#constantcriticism #notgoodenough #toomanyputdowns #chroniccriticism

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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6 Sad Ways Hijackals Abandon You...while you're with them!!!

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 05:36:59 GMT

Wonder why you feel so alone even though you're in a relationship? Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic folks--want to affect you, want to control how you feel. Abandoning you while with you creates a very lonely place. Notice these 6 ways so that you will be able to see them coming and not take them as personally.

Hijackals are constantly searching for places to exert power and control. This episode will also help you to recognize that, although Hijackals make these things you're fault, they are NOT YOUR FAULT!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How Hijackals--narcissists, and other toxic folks--desert you even when they're in the same room with you
How Hijackals show their lack of interest
Why it's important to understand feeling abandoned when the person is still there
6 ways this abandonment shows up in your relationship

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

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#narcissistabandon #abandonment #emotionalabandonment #feelingabandoned #notalonefeelalone

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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10 Antidotes to Anxiety Caused By Emotional Abuse

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 05:18:24 GMT

When you're living in anxiety, you cannot think clearly, right? Hijackals love to cause anxiety. They think it gives them power, and they look for ways to control. In order to make good decisions about the relationship, you need antidotes to anxiety to recognize the emotional abuse. It becomes such an everyday thing, and usually only creates more anxiety.

An antidote is a remedy to counteract, relieve or prevent the effects of something. Just what you need for "Hijackal bites!" And, those can stay open wounds for a long time unless you know how to close them and begin the healing process.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

List of signs of anxiety
10 Hijackal ways designed to increase your anxiety
10 antidotes that allow you to reclaim your personal power, and shift your toxic relationship
Some reasons why it is difficult to change your patterns...and, how to do it anyway

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

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#anxietyfromemotionalabuse #anxietyandabuse #antidotesforanxiety #relationshipanxiety

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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4 Debilitating Responses to Emotional Abuse

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 05:40:28 GMT

When you recognize that it is emotional abuse that is driving these four debilitatiing --and, therefore, unhealthy-- responses to how you're being treated (or have been treated, particularly from your parents,) you are on your way to seeing your next best steps clearly. Listen in so you won't take the blame, or make excuses for, a person who is driving you to have these feelings.

Being with a Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult person--is confusing, chaotic, and disappointing. The emotional abuse can go unnoticed for too long. See it for what it is by recognizing these four response now.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you feel exhausted in a toxic relationship
4 ways you respond when being emotionally abused by a Hijackal
Never mistake possessiveness for protectiveness
How you internalize emotional abuse & the effects of doing so

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

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#emotionalabusedepression #depression #possessiveness #whyamIobsessedwithanarcissist #constantlythreatened

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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BEWARE the (Valentine's Day) LOVE-BOMBING

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 06:53:17 GMT

Many Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people--make a big statement on Valentine's Day (and, any other day they want to secure your full commitment.) LOVE-BOMBING, strangely, is yet another kind of emotional abuse. Why? Because it's mostly show and no go! In this episode, learn more about love-bombing, recognizing it, and not falling for it. SO important to be aware of what's really going on!

Ever felt so special, so cherished one day, and in short order, felt so devalued, discounted, and dismissed? You may have been love-bombed.

Ever felt so taken care of only to find that you were actually being taken advantage of? You may have been love-bombed. It's hard to admit.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What love-bombing is
Why love-bombing is emotional abuse
Signs of love-bombing
Why narcissists and other Hijackals love-bomb
How love-bombing affects you

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#lovebombing #whatislovebombing #howhijackalshookyou #hownarcissistshookyou #narcissistsandholidays

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Recognize When Hijackal Drama Turns to Trauma

Tue, 08 Feb 2022 07:09:48 GMT

Do you allow yourself to acknowledge that you've been traumatized, or may have been? It's an essential beginning step for understanding why you feel a certain way, or have a particularly negative view of yourself. Emotional abuse can definitely create trauma within you. In this episode, you'll hear very specific information about trauma and how the body takes it in.

When you are traumatized, you often have diminished ability to describe the feelings you have in words. You need to be able to do that to recover. Freezing and/or collapsing are ways to protect yourself by shutting down. You need to overcome the overwhelm of that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

A definition of trauma and how it feels
Why you simply stop talking about the trama to suppress it
How you find yourself outside of the community you need
Why Hijackals--narcissistic and anti-social folks--need to isolate you

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#recognizingtrauma #emotionalabusetrauma #isolatingme #losingmysenseofself #traumaticmemory

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Know If You're Caring, Caretaking Or Enabling!

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 06:05:10 GMT

You want to be a good person, a nice person. Your parents probably wanted that for you, too. Yet, you find yourself on the receiving end of emotional abuse, and you don't understand what you did wrong.

Nothing, likely! Hijackals--narcissists, anti-socials, borderlines-histrionics--look for "nice" people who they hope will bend over backwards to do things for them. Especially, they are delighted by enablers who go the extra mile to allow the emotional abuse of Hijackals.No need to wonder about those dynamics as you'll soon see when you listen to this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why caretaking is not always a positive thing
How you get trapped to continue caretaking a Hijackal
Recognizing enabling so you can stop doing it
Escaping the trap of doing for emotional abusers what they can do for themselves

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

enablingemotionalabuse #enablinghijackals #dontbeanenabler #caretakingisnotalwaysgood #toonice

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Recognize These 11 Traits of Emotional Immaturity

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 06:02:13 GMT

You cannot get blood from a stone, and you cannot get emotional intimacy with a Hijackal. Yes, in the beginning of the relationship, they do a good job of imitating a person with whom you could develop that emotionally intimate connection that lasts a lifetime. No, they actually don't have either the capacity or the willingness to do it, though.

Learn to recognize the clear signs of a person who will never let you close, or want to be close with you...because they are too emotionally immature. Sad. True. See these signs early in a relationship to prevent later pain.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What emotional maturity looks like in a relationship
Why you cannot have emotional intimacy with an emotionally immature person
11 ways emotional immaturity shows up
Why Hijackals cannot accept emotional intimacy but are comfortable with being emotional abusers

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#signsofemotionalimmaturity #emotionalmaturity #noremotionalintimacy #emotionalimmaturitypreventsemotionalintimacy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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3 Phases of Healing From Emotional Abuse

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 06:39:45 GMT

You can begin healing even while you're in an emotionally abusive situation, small steps and nano-seconds of healing. Understanding my phases of healing from emotional abuse encourages you to begin and continue the healing journey. Wherever you are--even if you have not started the journey yet, seeing there is a pathway can help.

If you want to be emerging empowered from a past or present in which you experienced emotional abuse, you need this episode. Understanding the blueprint and anticipating the process is wise, and will make you much less susceptible to going back to a Hijackal of any stripe....even a Hijackal parent!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Healing begins with realizing that and how you have been wounded
The three phases of the healing from emotional abuse process
Why it takes longer to heal than you want it to

Clearly see the patterns and ready for a change? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#healingafterabuse #stepstohealingafterabuse #healingafteremotionalabuse #howdoIhealfromemotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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10 Nasty Ways Hijackals Are Predictably Unpredictable

Tue, 11 Jan 2022 05:57:37 GMT

Too many times, you hope a Hijackal will be different. They may even promise to be, or seem to understand the need to change. But, it's just for a hot minute, right? These ten ways Hijackals generally behave are ones you need to believe will never change...no matter what is promised. Really!

Hijackals and other narcissistic people are focused on meeting their own needs. Self-absorbed. Self-involved. Self-satisfyining. That's them. And, they want to control you and everything else they possibly can, especially in the home. Clearly see these patterns in them so that you'll recognize how frequently they occur. .

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognize how frequently these ten predictable behaviors show up
Don't expect Hijackals to change. They almost never do.
Narcissists & other Hijackals repeat these patterns to control you.

Clearly see the patterns and ready for a change? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistslie #traitsofnarcissists #traitsofhijackals #whatnarcissistsdo #whathijackalsdo

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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12 Ways Fawning Keeps You Stuck in Emotional Abuse

Tue, 04 Jan 2022 06:15:35 GMT

The Fawning Response creates a constant imbalance in a relationship. Hijackals love that! You're helping them control you, and you sure don't want to do that for a moment longer, right?

Fawning happens when you attempt to avoid conflict and trauma by appeasing people and demonstrating or feigning interest to earn the approval of others. Sadly, it also causes you to deny your rights, interests, thoughts, feelings and to abandon what's healthy in adult relationships: equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. You may avoid conflict in the moment but you're also giving up too much.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognizing the fawning response
12 Ways fawning makes a Hijackal happy
Why narcissistic people want you to fawn...and then, make you wrong for it
8 steps to take to stop the fawning response and reclaim your power

Ready to take back your power and give up fawning? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#fawningresponse #giveupfawning #stopfawning #reclaimyourpower #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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18 Reasons Why Emotional Abusers Prefer People-Pleasers

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 06:35:51 GMT

When you deeply think about these eighteen reasons, you'll recognize eighteen things you can heal so you won't attract, or keep, an emotional abuser. It's a BIG step to recognize these because you are capable of changing...especially when you know exactly what and why to change. The Hijackal, the emotionally abusive person, will not change.You will...once you clearly see what' needs to change!

Emotional abuse is something you get used to even while you're hating it. It needs to stop, right? In this episode, you'll recognize steps you can take to make that so, and feel good.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

18 reasons that Hijackals are drawn to people pleasers
Definition of people-pleasers & their traits
Insights into what you need to heal to say no to emotional abuse
How Hijackal parents set you up for Hijackal relationships

Need help to say no to emotional abuse? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers #puttingupwithemotionalabuse #freefromabuse #giveuppeoplepleasing

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Handing Hijackal Holiday Horrors

Tue, 21 Dec 2021 04:21:55 GMT

The holidays bring out the worst in Hijackals. I'm sure you've noticed. Why does this happen? What do you need to be watching for? And, what do you do to? This episode can help you reclaim your power during the holidays.

When you're living with, have left, or were raised by Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, self-centered people, you may dread the holidays. Hijackals are much more than attention-seekers. They are attention-demanders. That's why they hijack holidays, leading you to dread both them AND the holidays!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

10 ways Hijackals ruin holidays
Why Hijackals--narcissistic people, anti-social people--think they MUST be in control
How Hijackals play on your hopes, emotions, and expectations of the holidays
Why you should take your own car to events...especially during the holidays

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#holidayhorrors #hijackalsattheholidays #narcissistsruinholidays #ruintheholidays #needingtobethecenterofattention

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Worthy, Wanted & Welcome?

Tue, 14 Dec 2021 06:51:40 GMT

Whether it is parents or partners that make you feel worthless, unwanted, and unappreciated, it leads to emotional abuse. It's important to recognize these basic truths about emotional abuse so they will not continue to damage your life.

Hijackals and other emotional abusers don't want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcome. That would make you their equal and they are having none of that. You've likely noticed that. Hijackals are always in competition with you...for no other reason than they live in morbid fear of being wrong or shamed. So, they learn tactics to control, manipulate, and rewrite history.

I know it's difficult to actually say to yourself, "My partner (or parent) is emotionally abusive." You may feel embarrassed, or worse, you may feel unkind saying that about someone who is actually abusing you. That's why it's important to recognize emotional abuse, and call it what it is. Then, you can begin extricating yourself from it.

Healthy parents want and welcome their children.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why there's nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted
What unconditional acceptance means
Why Hijackals and other emotional abusers do not want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcome
Why it is essential to the rest of your life to recognize emotional abuse

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionallyabusiveparent #emotionallyabusivepartner #amiworthyoflove #signsofemotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Living With Emotional Abuse

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 05:10:53 GMT

Sometimes, it's hard to see emotional abuse when it's happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What about now? Are you living in it, or suffering from the long-term effects of it? How do you know? Listen for answers to these questions.

Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize in the beginning. Some people have difficult naming it, even after experiencing it for far too long. This episode will help you understand the underlying nature of living with emotional abuse. I offer the analogy between living with emotional abuse and having black mold in your house. Understanding those similarities can help you get a handle on the extent of emotional abuse you may have experienced, or be experiencing.

Think of the effects of living with spreading mold in your basement or under your kitchen sink. You are unaware of it, yet it keeps on affecting you. Eventually, you find the cause. I hope this episode will help you pinpoint emotional abuse earlier, rather than later.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Signs of emotional abuse
Why emotional abuse is the hardest to recognize
How emotional abuse affects you like mold in your house
The accumulative effects of long-term emotional abuse
Why it is essential to recognize and admit that you have experienced emotional abuse.

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#livingwithemotionalabuse #gaslighting #toxicshame #abuseathome #effectsofabuse #amibeingabused #hypervigilance

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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10 Root Fears That Hijackals Prey On...Relentlessly

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 05:45:27 GMT

We all have things we fear, things we may not even be conscious of. Hijackals exploit your deepest root fears to manipulate and control. They make those fears worse and more real. Recognize these fears and how the Hijackal feeds them.

Oxford Languages defines fear as "an unplesasant emotion caused by the believe someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." There are many roots to your fears: the places things grow from. When you were raised by, lived with, or left a Hijackal, you will have had your fears magnified by the experience, in most cases.

Time to recognize these ten fears (there are many more) and how Hijackals prey on them to keep you scared, small, restricted, confined, and controlled. Nasty!

Once you listen to this episode, you will be empowered to see how Hijackals use your fears and wounds to manipulate, control, and coerce you. With that knowledge, you can recognize the emotional abuse.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How Hijackals are attracted to people with wounds
How your root fears can turn into your beliefs about yourself and others
Why Hijackals want to keep you hypervigilant and afraid
Reclaiming and regaining your personal power

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

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#rootfears #hownarcissistsuseyourfears #underlyingfears #hijackalspreyonyourfears #hypervigilance

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#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Recognizing Relationship Trauma - Past & Present

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 05:46:47 GMT

Everyone experiences trauma differently. Frequently, folks don't recognize or acknowledge their trauma, either. This episode will help you understand how you may--or may not--have processed trauma, and why you may be recreating it, too.

You cannot separate the mind from the body. They are constantly interacting and informing one another. When you have experienced trauma, both your mind and body are affected. And, you may not have realized what happened to you.

Dr. Gabor Mate said, "Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you're acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you're acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you."

When you see that clearly, and you relate it to your experience, you can choose a healing and recovering journey. Vital to recognize if you'd like to change your life!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The body/mind connection when trauma is experienced
3 immediate responses most people have to trauma whether they recognize them or not
3 additional stages of trauma and their symptoms
How trauma creates a habitual dis-ease that can be healed.

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#recognizingtrauma #traumaresponses #yourbodyrememberstrauma #drgabormate #drpeterlevine

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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Why You Feel So Frozen, Stuck and Powerless With A Hijackal

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 05:42:49 GMT

The energetics of relationships with Hijackals can shut you down emotionally, and even physically. Understanding what happens within yourself and why can help you thaw, move, and take action in your own best interests. You need to hear this to empower yourself and get unstuck!

You are not powerless, although you may be feeling that way. You may be so worn down and torn down that you are overwhelmed by the negative energy that is always being sent your way.

We are energetic beings. We need to be balancing the positive and negative energy, the heightened and depressed energy, and therefore, we need to recognize when we are receiving or feeling too much charge, or the opposite: feeling depleted and exhausted. And, we need to know what's causing it. In this episode, I talk about the energetic interchanges of relationships with Hijackal--narcissists and anti-social folks, too.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Energy exchanges can be damaging
How Hijackals are constantly sending "high charge: in your direction
The energetics of relationships
What happens when you cannot safely discharge energy

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

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#energeticsofrelationship #whyIfeelsostuck #feelingpowerlessinrelationship #dischargingnarcissism #energychargefromnarcissists #dysfunctionalenergy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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What Healthy Love Is

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 04:15:27 GMT

Knowing what healthy love is allows you to examine your own relationship more accurately. Don't settle for crumbs. Wait for the full meal.

Did you see healthy love growing up? Did you experience it? Did you feel it?

Did it make you feel safe and loved for who you were as you grew? If you didn't experience this when you were young, you may be settling for less than is healthy now. Find out today!

Dr. Shaler's definition of "healthy love:"

"Healthy love has an equitable balance between autonomy and intimacy, demonstrates equality, reciprocity, and mutuality and operates with honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability. Then, it is a partnership, greater than the sum of its parts."

Is this what you're experiencing in your primary romantic relationship? Make it your goal. Don't settle for less.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Where we get our contexts for healthy love
The necessary balance between autonomy and intimacy
A definition of healthy love
The 3 must-haves of a healthy adult relationship
Creating healthy partnership

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

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#healthylove #whathealthyloveis #ismyrelationshiphealthy #dontsettleforless #healthypartnership

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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10 Surefire Signs of an Emotional Abuser

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 04:39:20 GMT

Emotional abuse. Don't ignore, tolerate, or deny it. See it clearly for what it is, AND how it is affecting you daily.

Do you feel putdown, degraded, or are your feelings dismissed and discounted? Is someone trying to control you and/or manipulate you? The whole idea behind emotionally abusing you is to tear you down and wear you down to a state of emotional exhaustion. In that state, the Hijackal thinks you will be too distraught to put up a fight or defense. (Of course, even if you were to put up a fight or defense, an emotional abuser sees that as an opportunity to threaten, or rage....or worse.

You need to see these red flags clearly, and recognize that what you are being accused of has nothing to do with you. It is the way of the Hijackal

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What coercive control is (See more in this episode.)
The many faces of control
Why the Hijackal makes isolating you from support sound romantic and attractive
How many ways are you being surveilled by a Hijackal, a narcissist?
The sad ways Hijackal legitimatize control and punishment

Are you aware that you have an emotional abuser in your life? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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How Narcissistic Parents Damage Their Children - Part 1

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 04:45:22 GMT

Learn about the effects the "upside down parenting" of narcissists and other Hijackals can have on your adult life and relationships. Great insights to help you make positive changes, and life easier. First, though, you have to see it clearly to understand what really happened to you.

Listen in to further understand the impact having a Hijackal parent makes. As a child, you have no experience and the inborn understanding that you need your parents to survive. With a Hijackal parent, things go sideways in the first two years of your life, and stay warped, slipped, and damaging throughout. IMPORTANT to recognize the facts in today's episode to better understand why you do, think, and feel as you do in your adult life and relationships.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What tractability is
How tractaiblity leads to the "upside down parenting"
A main big difference between healthy and unhealthy parenting
Three big issues Hijackal and other narcissistic parents create for you
How having emotionally unavailable parents affects you

Have you recognized the issues a Hijackal parent left you with? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistblackmail #narcissisticblackmail #hijackalemotionalblackmail #emotionalblackmail #endingemotionalblackmail #nomoreemotionalblackmail

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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How Hijackals Succeed at Emotional Blackmail

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 16:27:47 GMT

Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the "Gotcha!" And, they constantly use it to their advantage. Learn more about the components of that blackmail and how to counteract them. Then, Hijackals fail to succeed at using it against you effectively!

Learn what you can do to respond in empowering ways when narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social folks try to control you using emotional blackmail. This episode will help you understand how that emotional blackmail shows up, what its desired result is, and how to say no to it.

Healthier people aren't looking to control you. They care what you want, think, feel, and need. Hijackals don't. So, you need strategies for working within yourself and with the Hijackal to stop the emotional blackmail.

Emotional blackmail according to Dr. Susan Forward: "when people close to us threaten, directly or indirectly punish us, when we don't do what they want." Does that sound familiar? You can stop it. Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The connection between blackmail and emotional blackmail
Dr. Susan Forward's book, Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
How a pattern of emotional blackmail is established and maintained
Better strategies than compliance when a narcissistic person uses emotional blackmail
Responding to emotional blackmail purposefully to emerge empowered

Want strategies and support to withstand emotional blackmail. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistblackmail #narcissisticblackmail #hijackalemotionalblackmail #emotionalblackmail #endingemotionalblackmail #nomoreemotionalblackmail

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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Reading the Shifting Scary Eyes of Hijackals As They Try to Control You

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 05:11:46 GMT

Yes, Hijackal's eyes are not the windows to their souls as much as windows into their fears and desires to control. It's real. You're not imagining it. You can feel safer with the insights in this episode.

Research shows that humans notice faces first. Generally, that is what attracts us.

Eyes tell you so much, if you interpret their messages accurately. When dealing with Hijackals--narcissistic, borderline, anti-social, and histrionic folks, you MUST get the messages clearly or you'll be damaged, emotionally, if not physically. That's why this episode is particularly important.

Healthy people want to read healthier things into peoples' expressions. You must not do that when you're with Hijackals. You have to believe what is written on their faces or you will be in trouble. Misinterpreting the messages in their eyes can be dangerous. Not believing those messages? More dangerous.

Rage eyes. Vacant eyes, Dead eyes, Black Eyes, Psychopathic Stares. Do you know the difference? Do you know what they indicate? Do you know how to keep yourself safer? Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The different ways narcissistic and psychopathic people look at you
Why it it important to recognize what a narcissist wants most from you
5 different ways people with narcissistic, borderline, and anti-social tendencies look at you (None of them good!)
How to respond to the different warnings in their eyes effectively

Do you know you want to feel safer when Hijackal eyes burn a hole in you? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

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#eyesofnarcissist #eyesofhijackals #deadcoldeyes #rageeyes #vacanteyes #predatorystare #psychopathstare #scaryeyesofnarcissist #coldhardpsychopath

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Beware of Introjection & Projection!

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 05:02:24 GMT

You may not know these terms but you know the undercutting feeling one produces, and the scramble the other does! Very important to recognize and say no to! Listen in.

Hijackals--people with narcissistic, borderline, passive-aggressive, anti-social traits--play to win. Only to win. They cannot and will not tolerate blame or shame to touch them and they work hard at being two or three steps ahead of either of those at all times. This episode sheds light on two sad, and important, ways that they try to make you take responsibility for their deficits. As I said, sad!

You may be familiar with projection. That's when the Hijackal projects their feelings or characteristics onto you, usually things they are afraid are true about themselves. Much more on that to hear.

You may not be familiar with introjection. That;s when you unconsciously internalize and incorporate the characteristics, ideas and attitudes of other people into your own thoughts and behaviors, usualy to reduce your anxiety or fear of loss.

Now, you can imagine what havoc these two things can create within you...but, only if you don't realize what's going on. This episode will help you clearly understand what these terms mean and how they play out. (p.s. NOT WELL!) It's important to know these distinctions so you'll be able to take charge when you see them!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What projection is, and its purpose
What introjection is
How introjection can be used positively AND negatively to shape you without your awareness
How Hijackals use projection to protect themselves
How you might use introjection to misguidedly try to get a Hijackal to like you and treat you well (p.s. That won't happen.)

Do you know you need to learn to turn on the teflon and avoid the projection? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#projection #introjection #hownarcissistsuseprojection #beawareofintrojection #takechargeofyourself #dontsuckuptonarcissists #dontbelikethem

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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HOW TO KEEP A HIJACKAL FROM TEARING YOU DOWN

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 04:04:15 GMT

Hijackals--passive-aggressive. narcissistic. anti-social folks--thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it's a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it's a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it's already there, I'll help you get it out. Listen in.

Hijackals--my word for people who hijack relationships for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge them for power, status, and control--feed on having power over you. It's what gets them up in the morning! Sad.

Hijackals thrive on tearing you down, wearing you down, and putting you down. It feeds that need for control. SO, they will say anything to you that keeps you small and makes them feel big. Nasty!

Whether the Hijackal you have in mind is your parent, sibling, partner, or adult child, subtly or crashingly crassly, they will find numerous ways to make you feel small, worthless, and insignificant. Does this sound familiar? Some of them only do it when fearful or stressed (that can be too much of the time!) and others live in that skin 24/7.

In this episode, I give you 9 ways to stop anyone from tearing you down. No, it has nothing to do with putting your hand over their mouth. AND, yes, it has everything to do with taking charge of yourself so that you can be Emerging Empowered!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What gaslighting is
How to stop believing the gaslighting
Stopping the manipulation of believing a narcissistic person's view of you
Changing your self-talk to what is accurate, true, and positive...no matter what a Hijackal says
Taking charge of what goes on in your head and saying "No!" to power games played by narcissists and other Hijackals

Are you willing to believe what you know to be true about you regardless of what a Hijackal tries to sell you? Great. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#nogaslighting #dontgaslightyourself #putanendtoabuse #dontbedemeaned #stopthemanipulation #positiveselftalk #strengthenyourmind #

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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HOW HIJACKALS CONFUSE YOU THROUGH COGNITIVE EMPATHY

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 05:08:55 GMT

Yet, it feels real, and you SO want it to be real. There's where the manipulation and confusion sets in. In this episode, I let you in on the secret that, much as you want it to be real, it isn't. (Did I mention that?) You need to see that clearly to keep from being hurt further!

Empathy is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary this way:

"the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner."

Wow! That would be great, however, that's not what you get when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal--a narcissistic, anti-social, or borderline personality. They are emotional empathy deficient but usually rely on cognitive empathy. That's a darker kind of empathy that is constructed in the mind, but doesn't much touch the heart.

Hijackals use cognitive empathy as a tool to love-bomb you, to encourage you to be vulnerable with them. Then, what do they do with those vulnerabilities? They turn them on you later like stored ammunition, or they use the information to benefit themselves in other ways. Nasty!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What cognitive empathy is
How cognitive empathy is different from emotional empathy
Why cognitive empathy is unsatisfying...and unsettling when you actually see it for what it is
How Hijackals use cognitive empathy to make you feel safer for a bit and why they do it
Why it's important to recognize the differences between cognitive empathy and the emotional empathy you are wanting but won't arrive

Are you being used and confused by a Hijackal demonstrating cognitive empathy? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#cognitiveempathy #emotionalempathy #lackingempathy #unsafetobevulnerable #exploitingmyvulnerabilities #hownarcissistsusecognitiveempathy #cognitiveempathycanbemanipulation #lovebombing #gettingmetotalk #pretendingtocareaboutme #pretendingtobeinterestedinme

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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RECOGNIZING THE MANIPULATION OF TRIANGULATION

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 04:08:09 GMT

Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired "flying monkeys."

Are there other people in your relationship with the Hijackal who are being approached by the Hijackal to serve their purposes? Do they engage them? Learn how to think about all that!

SO important to recognize triangulation when it is happening! If it's already happened, you can benefit from seeing the interactions and taking action, too.

The point of triangulation by a toxic person in a relationship is to create stress, confusion, anxiety for others while creating a sense of collusion with the narcissist, anti-social, histrionic, or other Hijackal. It works. It particularly works on you, the target, because you have learned to second-guess yourself and even question your sanity, in some cases.

Hijackals use triangulation because it makes them feel important and in control of the relationships, the one with you and the ones with others colluding with them.

Triangulation is when a toxic person brings a third person into a relationship so that the toxic person can remain in control and manipulate the situation. The whole strategy is toxic, too!

Why they do it, how they do it, and how to recognize it while it's happening is the topic of this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What triangulation is and its purpose
Why Hijackals feel powerful using triangulation
How unsuspecting people get taken in by the Hijackals manipulations
What flying monkeys are
How flying monkeys play into triangulation and are seduced by a false sense of loyalty

Not sure how to begin setting boundaries with a toxic person in your life? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#manipulation #triangulation #narcissistictriangulation #creatingconflictthroughtriangulation #creatingconflict #nastythingsnarcissistsdo #whydomyparentsagreewiththenarcissist #flyingmonkeys #flyingmonkeysandtraiangulation

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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HIJACKALS ARE BOUNDARY BULLDOZERS

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 05:38:14 GMT

Setting Boundaries. Calibrating Results. Making Decisions. No matter what the Hijackal thinks they are entitled to you need to set, express, and hold boundaries. In this episode, I'll give you effective ways to begin, or continue, setting clear boundaries and staying strong. Oh, and, what to do when those Hijackals trample them, too!

Yes, Hijackals are boundary bulldozers. They don't like boundaries...unless they are their own. Then, of course, everything is different!

Hijackals are definitely not interested in your boundaries in the way you want them to be. Listen in, though, to find out one way that Hijackals REALLY like to hear your boundaries. You don't set boundaries for them,. though, you do it for yourself. You want to be Emerging Empowered and knowing your boundaries, being willing to express and maintain them, is part of that practice.

You previously may have made requests of the Hijackal in your life. How did that work? Did you get the results you wanted? Boundaries are another step beyond requests. Knowing what your boundaries are in the first step. Then, being willing to speak up about them comes next. You do well to know the steps. That's what I'm outlining for you in this episode, so you can feel more confident.

How Hijackals respond to boundaries is good to know these seven responses you may receive. That helps so you won't be surprised when it happens!

After you set and express your boundaries, you need to know how to maintain them, how to keep them non-negotiable. That again will help you with emerging empowered!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why Hijackals--narcissists, anti-socials, histrionics--are not interested in respecting your boundaries
Why Hijackals like to hear your boundaries (confusing, right?)
Why set boundaries
When boundaries need consequences
Why boundaries cannot be threats
The necessity for boundaries to be non-negotiable

Not sure how to begin setting boundaries with a toxic person in your life? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#fboundaries #settingboundaries #expressingboundaries #maintainingboundaries #settingboundarieswithanarcissist #needforboundaries #cognitiveempathy #whynarcissistslikeboundaries

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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QUELLING THE FEAR OF REJECTION...especially from narcissistic hijackals!

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 05:01:39 GMT

No one likes to be rejected. It's uncomfortable, painful, and a blow to the self-confidence and self-esteem.

What can you do about it? How do you think it through? It's more difficult in a relationship with a Hijackal, Listen in to understand the dynamics and know what steps to take to quell the fear of rejection.

if you had a Hijackal parent, you may well have developed a fear of rejection very early in your life. Living with a Hijackal parent or two creates a demand from them that they always have the upper hand and discard you at any moment, for any reason. That taps into a basic fear of being abandoned, and as you get older that can develop into a fear of rejection once you understand language and have a sense of your family dynamics.

Many people strive for perfection in the hopes of meeting the parents' expectations and receiving their validation. Conversely, I think that that striving for perfection is more motivated by a fear of rejection. Unless you address this in your life, you cannot find and live your own personal power. Hijackals will rule your life, even when they are not around, because you have internalized their unrealistic expectations of you. This is SO work thinking through and working through.

Rejection happens. You'll have feelings about it and they may not be pleasant, maybe even painful. You'll live through it. When you liberate yourself from the FEAR of rejection, you set yourself free.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why the fear of rejection is too common--more common than you think
How the fear of rejection is developed
How narcissistis and other Hijackals use fear of rejection as a tool to control you
Who is most likely to have a fear of rejection
Why recognizing a fear of rejection is the beginning of setting yourself free

If you recognize that you have a fear of rejection, I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#fearofrejection #perfectiontoavoidrejection #notspeakingup #fearofnotbeinggoodenough #hijackalsuserejection #narcissiststhreatenrejection #threatofrejection #whydoIhaveafearofrejection #tyrannyofrejection #tyrannyofnarcissists

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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Are You Striving to Be Good Enough for a Narcissist?

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 04:54:19 GMT

Even perfection won't and can't cut it if you're in relationship with a Hijackal of any stripes. This episode will help you understand this cycle, how it works, why it won't work, and why it needs to stop. These concepts can spell R-E-L-I-E-F for you!

If you had a narcissistic or Hijackal parent, you were pre-conditioned to accept the poor treatment of a Hijackal. That's difficult enough! Then, you may find yourself in a supposedly romantic relationship with one, and eventually it starts to resemble the one with your parents, right? No accident!

Hijackals are particularly interested in people who have been "pre-groomed" to accept their sad, frustrating, and infuriating shenanigans. So, if you did have a Hijackal parents (or, like me, had two of them), you are set up to be Hijackal Bait by that experience.

You may not have felt good enough with your parents, at school, in a sports situation, or with friends. Then, the Hijackal--that person who is supposed to love you in every way--takes over the abusive behaviors. You may think that it is your job to please the Hijackal, to make them happy. NO! It isn't your job. But, a Hijackal will certainly turn those tables on you, leaving you feeling as though you can never be good enough.

This has to change. This episode will help you start that journey, or accelerate it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Two kinds of people Hijackals and narcissists look for
Why you may never have felt good enough
How Hijackals, narcissists and anti-social people control you
Why perfection will never be enough
How to break the cycle

These things can be difficult to change and integrate without professional help. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#notgoodenough #tryingtopleaseanarcissist #stoptryingtopleaseanarcissist #perfectionisnotenough #perfectionismisparalyzing #nevergoodenough #strivingforperfection #wantingtobegoodenough #narcissistswithholdapproval #fearofrejection

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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ANGER & ANXIETY, HIJACKALS & YOU

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 05:00:12 GMT

A whole chicken and egg thing! Anger and anxiety are closely related, and it's essential to see how. Hijackals in the mix create a whole other level of mess! Listen in for help to clarify what's happening IN you and TO you.

If you were raised by, live with, or have left a Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult, toxic person, you know what it is to live with anger and anxiety. Sometimes, at the same time, too! Internal anxiety can shift to externalized anxiety which shows uip as anger. It can leave you wondering if you're the Hijackal, right? Yes, it can, but that's not an accurate conclusion to draw. Hijackals are crazy-making, and when anger and anxiety enter the picture, your ability to think straight dulls.

Anger is usually an antagonism for one person who you think is causing your suffering. Maybe, is even responsible for it. Anxiety is a build-up of tension and worry because you don't feel in control of yourself, the situation or the future. That's why you can feel anxious and find yourself expressing anger, and you can feel angry and know that it is an outlet for pent-up anxiety.

Oh, and remember that episode I did on Reactive Abuse? That's a good example of this crazy-making cycle of anxiety and anger. If anything I've written so far makes sense, you'll find even more understanding in that episode. Add that to this one, and you'll clearly see the cycles and why they need to end.

Learn more about how anxiety takes you out of the present and disconnects you from your present reality. Anxiety is usually about something that hasn't happened yet, but you're worried it might. Both anxiety and anger are rooted in fear. That takes some work to recognize, claim, and change. This episode is a good start!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How anger and anxiety are different
Similarities between anger and anxiety in the body
How anxiety can turn to anger and anger can generate anxiety
How anger and anxiety show up in a toxic relationship with a Hijackal or a narcissist
Why understanding anger and anxiety in these ways can help you make decisions

Want to know how to handle your anger and anxiety in a toxic relationship? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#angerandanxiety #anger #anxiety #anxietywithnarcissist #angerwithnarcissist #angerarousal #anxietyandfear #angerandfear #hijackalsmakemeanxious #hijackalsmakemeangry #angryandanxious

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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What About Complex-PTSD?

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 05:46:29 GMT

When you've suffered trauma, it can have a long term affect. Long-term trauma is different. In this episode, you can learn about the attributes, traits, and causes of C-PTSD to help you understand what may be lingering in your body/mind system, and what you can do about it.

How you were raised creates the beliefs you hold about yourself, others, and the world. If you've had dysfunction and abuse in your early life, your views of these may be warped. You may experience heightened emotional distress, feel overwhelmed, anxious, helpless, or hopeless. Certainly, you can feel disempowered.

Understand the undepinnings of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can uncover the places in your life that may have set you on a difficult path. When that happens in your family or origin, you can expect it to be highly likely that you'll attract a difficult relationship, two or ten, into your adult life. It's not what you want, but it's what you know. You don't do it on purpose, but it happens all the same.

Often, that leads to feeling stuck. Then, you may also have difficulty controlling your emotions, or feel angry or distrustful towards the world. Maybe, you feel empty or hopeless.

"Why is this happening to me? I've been a good, caring, giving person, and yet it's never enough."

Have you had that thought? Or, have you become so exhausted from being worn down and torn down that you simply give up and give in?

How about the feeling that you are completely different than other people, and nobody understands what's happened to you.

Or, do you avoid friendships and relationships, or at least, find them daunting and difficult?

These things can be symptoms of C-PTSD, Complet Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Knowing what to look for can set you on a corrective path that can lead you to a healthier, happier life. Lean in and listen to see which, if any, of this episode can provide you with a new understanding of yourself, and your relationships.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, C-PTSD, is
What situations and relationships can lead you to suffer from C-PTSD
What C-PTSD can cause you to experience in life...especially what you may never have recognized before
5 major things that are great first steps toward healing C-PTSD, putting it well in the background of your life...and leaving it there

Wondering about the pathway to healing once you've recognized C-PTSD? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#complexptsd #emotionalflashbacks #childhoodabuse #childhoodneglect #abandonment #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #causesofcptsd

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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WHY HIJACKALS CREATE CHAOS & CONFUSION

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 05:30:47 GMT

Don't Hijackals love to stir the pot and keep it swirling? They definitely have goals in mind and one is to keep you spinning and the relationship unstable. You want that to stop. Get insights into stopping the spinning and instability in this episode.

When a Hijackal wants power over you--and they all do, one of the most likely ways they go for it is to catch you off-guard, keep you uncertain, and be contradictory. You've likely noticed that. They think that allows them to operate somehow undercover if they keep you off-center. And, many times it works. After you listen to this episode, if it was working, it won't anymore!

I've covered a lot of the wily ways of Hijackals in other episodes - you can search my archive for:

gaslighting
blameshifting
pastcasting
moving the markers
lying
dismissing you
discounting you
isolation
triangulation
threats to abandon
The Silent Treament
threats to hurt you, your children, your property, or your reputation

...and those are only some!

A toxic person's (Hijackal) intention is to keep you off balance. While you are second-guessing yourself or questioning your sanity at their instigation, they are undercutting your confidence and undermining your certainty. And, all to have a continuous advantage over you! Nasty.

I offer you eight steps you can take immediately...and they don't involve getting the cooperation of the Hijackal. That's ideal! You want to get back to your own center, live your own values, and establish yourself in a relationship that offers equality and equity, reciprocity, and mutuality. Of course, those are things that Hijackals shy away from, if not run screaming from. Unfortunately, though, they won't run off without a mega effort to have power over you and run you down.

Now, you can begin with the eight steps in this episode. Yay!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why Hijackals think they have the right to shape the relationship
How Hijackals create chaos and confusion
Why Hijackals work to keep you in uncertainty and, preferably, instability
Hijackal moves to exert power over you
8 steps to stop the spinning and the instability they want to create

Do you need help to stop the chaos and confusion? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistscreatechaos #keepingyouconfused #underminingmyconfidence #havepoweroverme #controlissues #controllingpeople #manipulativepartner #mypartnerwantstocontrolme #mypartnerdoesntcareaboutme #myrelationshipisunequal

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM ENABLER'S GUILT?

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 05:51:40 GMT

You could be suffering from enabler's guilt without knowing what is causing your fear, anxiety, or depression. THE GOOD NEWS: It doesn't have to be that way. Once you recognize what's going on, you can take steps to change it, reclaim your power, and rebuild your life.

Do you ever feel that, somehow, it's your job to make other people happy? Where do you think you got that idea? Who taught you that?

Those answers are a good start on how you may have come to have enabler's guilt. In episode 196, I talked about people pleasing in depth. That's part of it. Add to that the concept of The Fawning Response and you'll understand more fully the underpinnings of my concept of "Enabler's Guilt."

You've likely heard of Survivor's Guilt which happens when people believe they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others didn't. Think of that as a parallel concept to Enabler's Guilt....especially if you have already determined that you have, at times at least, been an enabler of a Hijackal, a difficult, toxic person. Here's my definition of enabling to help:

"Enabling is when you usually step in to fix, solve, excuse, rationalize, justify, or make the consequences go away for the poor choices of others." Familiar? Do you know an enabler? Are you one?

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What enabler's guilt is
How enabler's guilt is similar to survivor's guilt and witness guilt
Why guilt and feeling guilty are not the same
How you came to believe other people are more important than you are
Steps to rethink your guilt and reclaim your power

If you are experiencing enabler's guilt, or need insights and strategies to handle a relationship with a Hijackal, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#enabling #enablersguilt #guiltfornotbeinggoodenough #guiltyoffailing #survivorsguilt #witnessguilt #guiltyfornotpreventingabuse #guiltfornotstoppingabuse #feelingguilty

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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ENMESHED, ENTRENCHED OR EMERGING EMPOWERED?

Tue, 13 Jul 2021 05:40:57 GMT

Enmeshed, Entrenched, and Emerging Empowered! Know the Differences so YOU can Make a Difference!

You know that being enmeshed or entrenched with another human is unhealthy, right? You may not recognize just what's happening right now, though. This episode will help you see what's unhealthy and how to move towards Emerging Empowered.

Hijackals want you to become enmeshed and entrenched, along with a host of other things they want that are designed to give them power and control over you. They want to be able to manipulate you. You know how they love to blame you for everything. Keeping you enmeshed makes Hijackals happy. They can play with your emotions like a cat with a toy. Nasty!

Difficult situations are part and parcel of life with a Hijackal. If you become worn down enough because they have torn you down by putting you down, they think that makes you easier prey. They hope that you will allow them more and more power and control. Sometimes, you do, just to keep the peace. Sometimes, because you're afraid of them!

That's why it's important to recognize the distinctions I'm making in the episode. It will help you gain clarity, and see where you can regain some strength.

Do you ever feel like you might just as well give in and stop resisting their manipulations? I'm sure you do. It's exhausting and you end up picking your battles carefully. Then, things begin to wear away further, and there may be little left of you. Not good. So, listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What it means to be entrenched in a relationship
Why being enmeshed can keep you stuck
5 Steps to Emerging Empowered
Announcing Dr. Shaler's new Emerging Empowered Community
How to move towards empowerment and away from enmeshment with a Hijackal

If you know that you need some insights, strategies, and support to arise from an unhealthy relationship, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#entrenchedbehavior #enmeshedwithanarcissist #enmeshedwithmypartner #whatdoesitmeantobeenmeshed #recognizinghijackals #howcanichangeanabusivepattern #feelingempowered

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

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THE FAWNING RESPONSE

Tue, 06 Jul 2021 06:05:53 GMT

Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.

When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder--which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It's a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it's not a good one. It's unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment!

You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it's never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It's exhausting.

One thing people who have experienced trauma don't want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN'T WORK, but you're ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water.

Listen in and recognize The Fawning Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it's keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You're losing yourself, and that's not a good thing at all!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What The Fawning Response is
How it shows up
Why it shows up and becomes a habit
Seven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning response
Why its important to see the fawning response and give it up

If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery

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ARE YOU ABANDONING YOURSELF BY ENABLING OR CODEPENDENCE?

Tue, 29 Jun 2021 04:44:06 GMT

It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it's part of being a good person. It's a delicate balance, for sure.

How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent? Listening to this episode is a very good start!

At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person's needs and wants even when those needs, wants--and, even demands--are outrageous! Most people don't go that far, and yet they abandon themselves.

Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it's not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true!

Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That's a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don't want those, either!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependence
So many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstances
How self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence...and why
Four key strategies for overcoming self-abandonment
How to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three!

Do you recognize ways in which you've been abandoning yourself? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery

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HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M READY TO DATE AFTER A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 05:40:29 GMT

8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don't want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you've been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.

You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you'll never be! That's how uncertain you can feel once a Hijackal is in your rear view mirror. Does it sound familiar?

Even if you're still with a Hijackal, you may be wondering about life beyond that relationship. Listen in to understand the best things to consider before you hit the dating scene. Maybe, you have a friend who's newly single. Invite her or him to listen in because most divorces are fraught will many of the same issues leaving Hijackals present.

Yes, you might be wishing I was going to say, "Leap! Enjoy! Have fun!" I want that for you, however, not until you're well-prepared. You want to be successful, to see and avoid all red flags, right? That means being wise, slowing down, and thinking about a few things first. Yep! Sorry. It takes time.

You might hope that dating will be a distraction.. Actually, it is more likely to be a disaster if you haven't attended to the 8 Essential Factors in the broadcast. You could even find yourself hooked to another Hijackal! Oops!

Recovery itself takes a lot of things Far more than these 8 Factors. That's why I call them the ESSENTIAL ones. These are the MUST-DO ones that you are wise to have spent time with in your plan BEFORE DATING! Please listen.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Be emotionally prepared for dating
Follow the 8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse...at a minimum!
Why you don't want to use dating as a distraction from the pain of emotional abuse
Why you are not wise to jump into dating to feel better about yourself
A great analogy about wounds and scars to keep in mind

Are you wanting help to heal in the most direct way after the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

Website: https://annathea.org

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

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PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafteranarcissist #amireadytodate #howdoiknowimreadytodateafteranarcissist #healingafteranarcissist #emotionalabuserecovery

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RECLAIMING YOUR BODY AFTER AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GUEST: Anna-Thea

Fri, 18 Jun 2021 18:42:19 GMT

For many women--and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety.

Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That's natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today's insights in this episode can help so much!

You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It's SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it's own sake. It's not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you're hoping for a long0term relationship.

Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise?

Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you're hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why we have to redefine love
What makes the Feminine special and Sacred
How attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourself
Why your body is not a "negotiation"
Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is

Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk.

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: ANNA-THEA

Anna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side - certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education.

Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.

FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:

Enjoy Anna-Thea's Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-test

CONTACT ANNA-THEA

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafab

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educator

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theannathea

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you'll hear about each Monday's livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

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CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Emerging Empowered Community Circle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

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4 TYPES & 3 DEGREES OF NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 05:42:19 GMT

You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That's healthy and usually reciprocal. Great!

BUT, when you're with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it's not healthy or reciprocal. It's unhealthy and one-sided.

Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, grandiose example. And, yes, that is definitely one of the types. Sometimes harder to detect--or harder to believe exist--are the other three contrasting types. Some are sneaky. Some play on your heartstrings. Some simply don't care! Knowing about these four types can expand the way you look at a troublesome, difficult, or toxic set of traits and realize what's likely going on. That's a big help!

How will it help? When you clearly see the patterns, traits, cycles and behaviors of another person, you can make healthy decisions for yourself as to whether you would like to stay in the relationship. Should I stay or should I leave? You need to know what the possibilities for change are, right?

So often, new clients come with that exact question, "Stay or go?" There's so much to calibrate and they want guidance, information, and direction to make those healthier decisions. And, what if there are children to consider? A huge consideration!!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

4 different types of narcissists
Distinguishing features of each type of narcissistic behavior
Why it's important to talk about narcissistic behavior or narcissistic tendencies rather than a diagnosis
How two types of narcissistic behavior can have degrees of severity
Can people with narcissistic leanings change?

Wondering about your relationship as it relates to narcissism? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Includes two monthly group Ask Her Anything calls, too!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#typesofnarcissists #narcissistictypes #grandiosenarcissist #vulnerablenarcissist #communalnarcissist #malignantnarcissist #thedarktriad #narcissistictraits

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10 Emotionally Abusive Things Hijackals Say Often

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 04:52:44 GMT

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer.

#Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I'm thinking that you're nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It's the Hijackal's nature to do that. And, it is exhausting!

You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the "Whatever!" stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they'll never, ever see or admit that.

In this episode, I've offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else's. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a "I'm a victim" covert way. In fact, many times, they'll use both, just to cover their bases.

How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you
10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over you
How to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nasty
Recognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult children
How to stick to the facts and respond accordingly

Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough

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THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 04:57:21 GMT

Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won't respond. What's up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What's your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That's today's episode.

So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you're invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, they fall silent.

Big power move...or, so they think! Until you understand the dynamics of this, you may be upset, distressed, and doing everything in your power to get the Hijackal to starting talking to you. Have you done that? What was the cost? I'll bet it was at the expense of your self-esteem at the very least!

Hijackals and other narcissistic folks--and other passive-aggressive people--want you to think they have power over you. When they can't win by talking, they try to by The Silent Treatment. It's nasty. For some of them, they do it because they don't know what else to do. Pathetic! For others, they do it to impress on you just how upset they are with you. Is it working?

So much of the BIG silence is emotionally abusive. I'm sure you've felt that, but have you allowed yourself to call it that? In this episode, I talk about seven ways that The Silent Treatment is emotionally abusive. After you listen, you'll be able to clearly see what's up with that in your relationship.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Hijackals want to avoid by giving you The Silent Treatment
Why narcissistic folks misguidedly think The Silent Treatment will work
7 ways to recognize The Silent Treatment as emotional abuse
6 ways NOT to respond to The Silent Treatment
4 MUST-DOS to respond to The Silent Treatment

If you're tired of the drama, the manipulation, and The Silent Treatment, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#silenttreatment #respondingtothesilenttreatment #whatsupwiththat #whatbulliesdo #thesilenttreamentisabusive

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HIJACKALS & THEIR WARPED SENSE OF FAIR, JUST & EQUAL

Tue, 25 May 2021 04:38:43 GMT

Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it's about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making!

When you're in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings you closer.

Not so when you're dealing with narcissistic #Hijackals! They do not want to create emotional intimacy, so getting closer to them is really swooping in for the win. It is not something they can, or want to, sustain. You've likely noticed that.

Why do they have out-of-proportion responses when you ask something small from them? Sadly, everything threatens them, and they resist any form of healthy giving. Normally healthy people, when offended, have a reaction, cool down, and things can be repaired. Hijackals react by devaluing you, threatening, punishing, disregarding, discarding, or the power move of The Silent Treatment. Learn more about these tactics in this episode.

Also, learn four solid ways to respond when you recognize that you have been trying to fit in, please, or appease a person with narcissistic tendencies. Great steps to finding and reclaiming your personal power, the power to operate from your own thoughts, feelings, values, vision, beliefs, and desires. I know you don't desire move emotional abuse, right? You'll be empowered by taking these four steps!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Most healthy enough relationships operate on fairness. Not so in a relationship with a #Hijackal.
Why narcissistic Hijackals operate in their own self-interest
Why no meaningful solutions are found to relationship difficulties with a narcissistic person
Ways to respond to the warped sense of equality, fairness and justice
Steps to be emerging empowered as you recognize the warp and respond

If you're exhausted and worn down by a toxic relationship, let's talk about how to be emerging empowered from this warped world of Hijackals. I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistareunfair #neverequal #alwaysbetterthanme #needtowin #hijackalsneedtowin #oneupmanship #nothingisfair #hairlinesenseofjustice #narcissisticwould #narcissisticneeds @narcissistictendencies #warpedworld

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8 Damaging Roles Narcissistic Parents Assign to Their Children

Tue, 18 May 2021 05:13:25 GMT

You had no choice in the role a narcissistic parent created for you and assigned to you. You were stuck with it--while usually being quite unaware of it. It's just the way your family is, like it or not, right?

NOW, in this episode, see your assigned role(s) so you can shed them and choose again!

In episode #201 on pseudomutuality, I talked about how #Hijackals like to paint a public picture of perfection on their families, which creating a private place of pain at home, within the family. Hijackals don't like the assigned roles I talk about in this episode to show in any way. It becomes a big family secret to them. In fact, they will deny that these roles exist:

"I love all of my wonderful children equally."

Now, we know that's not true. In fact, sometimes, it's a question of if they love any of them...or, anyone except themselves. (That's a topic for another time, though.)

In the episode, I mentioned these two definitions from Webster's dictionary. I'm including them here because some people think that scapegoats and black sheep are the same. There is an important distinction:

BLACK SHEEP: "a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of their group."

SCAPEGOAT" "a person made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place."

Quite a difference when you're bearing the brunt of the role, particularly!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How pseudomutuality creates a false front, masking the assigned roles a narcissistic parent gave you
8 different roles you may have observed or experienced within your family
Why narcissistic, Hijackal parents assign these roles
How the "ruler of the household" assigns the labels
Why everyone in the household goes along with them
How your assigned roles may still be affecting your self-esteem and adult relationships

If you recognize some issues your family of origin created, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

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#rolesinanarcissisticfamily #narcissisticfamilyrules #beingascapegoat #goldenchild #blacksheepofthefamily #familyemotionalabuse

#borderlinepersonalitydisorder

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Why Power is the Enemy of Love

Fri, 14 May 2021 23:56:16 GMT

Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you're well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues!

My guest, Mira Kirschenbaum, wrote in Why Couples Fight:

"A power move is anything we do or say that makes the other person feel disempowered."

Of course, it's all in the perception, however, if each of us is careful not to purposefully say or do something that is designed to make another feel disempowered, it's a great start!

So, are you responsible for feeling empowered? That's a big question we talk through during the episode.

As Mira says in a recent article on her website: ChestnutHillInstitute.com :

"If you have an 800-pound gorilla in your room--in this case, a gorilla of power imbalances and power struggles--you have to step up and make dealing with it a priority. Just the way you would if you came home and found an actual 800-pound gorilla in your room. The first step is just understanding the problem and taking it seriously. Then, doing what works to solve it."

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

6 Signs Power Problems are Poisoning Your Relationship
The smartest thing to do when you feel disempowered in a relationship
Why creating distance can be destructive in relationships sometimes
Identifying power moves in you relationship
A 3-Step process for resolving relationship conflict

Not all issues in a relationship have an equitable solution. Using Mira Kirschenbaum's 3-Step process is a great start!

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: MIRA KIRSHENBAUM

Mira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life. Mira has always made an effort to work with people who are disadvantaged.

Mira has lectured and done training at Harvard and made countless appearances on TV, radio, and in print. She’s appeared a number of times on the Today Show, CNN, and numerous daytime talk shows, and has been interviewed frequently in magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, and Town and Country.

Mira was one of the pioneers of feminist therapy and family therapy in Boston. She was also a founding member of One Generation After in Boston, an organization for children of Holocaust survivors designed to educate the public about the Holocaust and the dangers of genocide and racism.

Throughout her career, Mira’s focus has been on giving people, particularly women, the tools they need to give themselves the lives they want and need. Her work has always been focused on empowerment within a full understanding of the person’s context.

FREE GIFT FROM MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:

Not at this time

CONTACT INFO FOR MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:

Website: https://www.mirakirshenbaum.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mira-kirshenbaum-b7a57717/

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/youcanjustcallmemira

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mirakirshenbaum/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaum

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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How All-Or-Nothing Thinking Creates and Comes From Fear

Tue, 11 May 2021 04:12:56 GMT

Everything is a potential deal breaker when all-or-nothing thinking prevails!

People who were raised in emotional abusive homes learn to think that way. If you are with one, you may be on the receiving end and need to understand and name it. You need to be able to do that.

If you were raised by an emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned to use all-or-nothing thinking as a safety mechanism, or a defense mechanism. You didn't choose it. You learned it. Now, it's wise to have a look at the behavior and see if it is still required, and/or serving you well.

Another name for black-or white- all-or-nothing thinking is "splitting." Here's a definition from Wikipedia:

"a failure in thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities in self and others into a realistic, cohesive whole."

That means that you get caught in pairs of opposites, with no consideration of all the possibilities in between. That doesn't leave many options, does it? Life is full of possibilities, changes, and growth points. When you--or someone you care about--gets stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, the richness is gone, and fear has replaced it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How all-or-nothing thinking affects your inner dialogue, your self-talk
The definition of "splitting"
Why there is focus on extremes in all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking
How all-or-nothing thinking reflects fear of shame, blame, and criticism
Six fears that underlie black-or-white thinking
Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression related to distorted thinking
5 strategies to help you shift away from all-or-nothing thinking

Now you can see why it is SO important to recognize this pattern. If it's within you, you'll want to change it. If it's coming at you, understand it and make decisions about your relationship. I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#allornothingthinking #blackorwhitethinking #crazy-making #livinginfearofshame #fearofshame #splitting #cognitivedistortion #seeingdownsidepotential #focusingonthenegative #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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The Scam, Sham & Spam of Pseudomutuality

Tue, 04 May 2021 05:11:02 GMT

You know how some people and families both "put on a front: and are "a closed shop?" You can sense that something is off but the story they tell sounds good. They may be SO good at the story that you can't help but believe it. Why would you question it? And then, you marry into it and the legs fall off!

YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!

Mutuality is one of the three MUST-HAVES I talk about in order to have a healthy adult relationship. In my book, Kaizen for Couples, I described it this way:

"Mutuality is for emotional grown-ups. It is based on an interest in each other as whole, complex people living in the present. When dependence or do-dependence are consistently present in a relationship, mutuality cannot be. Mutuality, then, is a defining condition for a healthy mature relationship.

...When there are imbalances in mutuality between partners in a primary relationship, they can lead to significant psychological pain. This pain is elusive and hard to pin down or describe. It feels like a loss without a number: something's missing but what is it?

...Mutuality demands much more from you both. It requires your active interest in each other as different, complex and fascinating individuals.

...What is important in mutuality is that you magnify your attunement and responsiveness to each other."

Now imagine that you honesty believe that mutuality exists in the person you are creating a long-term relationship with, or exists in the family in which you are joining, and then, you find it doesn't. A false story was presented to look good to you, but it has no substance. In fact, the opposite is true. That's what happens when Pseudomutuality is presented.

Now you know why it is important to learn more and listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is Pseudomutuality
How pseudomutuality compares with healthy mutuality ( Kaizen for Couples )
The scam and sham of creating an agreed upon "family story" to look good to others
The double bind of living within pseudomutuality
Why it is crazy-making and will cause you to question your sanity
Why the "appearance" of bonding in healthy ways is not necessarily what is true

Do you see more clearly now that the partner or family you have been experiencing this through is troubled? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#pseudomutuality #pretendingtobeloving #coveringupabuse #marriedintoanabusivefamily #superficialappearance #surfaceharmony #lieofloyalty #abusivefamily #coveringupabuse #pretendingtobefunctional #emotionalabusers

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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What a Formerly Toxic CEO Learned That Transformed All His Relationships

Thu, 29 Apr 2021 17:26:07 GMT

Have you experienced a toxic boss? Were you one? Today's guest, Krister Ungerbock, admits to, at one time, being an aggressive boss. Maybe, even, a toxic one. He changed. Learn why and how it became important to him to shift, and how that lead to his writing 22 TALK SHIFTS: TOOLS TO TRANSFORM LEADERSHIP

When you have a toxic parent, you may pick up toxic behaviors. That can ruin your personal relationships, for sure. However, that can also have a huge, negative impact on how you lead in business. Krister learned that the hard way. He did see it, and knew he wanted to change it. That's self-awareness!

In this interview, Krister shares how autonomy at work is more effective than even a pay raise for many folks to feel valued and an integral part of the company. That's a SHIFT!

Would that work for you? Have you considered that shift? Making that shift can certainly change your relationships at home, too. Krister talks openly about how that went for him, too. Personal shifts have a ripple effect on all relationships.

This is a candid talk about personal change that lead to positive effects as the CEO of a company. As CEO of your life, these can apply to you, as well.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How Krister Ungerbock stopped himself from being a toxic boss
Transcending a toxic relationship with father
Examples of "toxic shifts"
Tips to help with anger management
What makes an apology acceptable
Creating mutual trust and autonomy

If you are, were, or have been experiencing an aggressive boss or CEO, this episode is for you! Oh, and if you think your personal relationships may need an upgrade, it's for you, too!

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: KRISTER UNGERBOCK

Krister Ungerbock is a former CEO of a global tech company and a multilingual leadership communication expert. His work has appeared in NPR, Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, HR.com, Chief Executive, Recruiter.com and Entrepreneur. Prior to exiting corporate life at age 42, Krister was CEO of one of the largest family-owned software companies in the world. While leading the company to over 3,000% revenue growth, his team achieved remarkable employee engagement levels of 99.3%, won five consecutive Top Workplace Awards and became a dominant player in its market niche.

FREE GIFT FROM KRISTER UNGERBOCK:

Not at this time

CONTACT INFO FOR KRISTER UNGERBOCK :

Website: https://Krister.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristeru/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meetkrister

Instagram:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/meetkrister

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

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I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

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RECOGNIZING REACTIVE ABUSE

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 03:38:54 GMT

Do you ever wonder if you're the problem in a relationship when you know that the other person is forever pushing your buttons, blaming and shaming you? You may be suffering from "Reactive Abuse," and that's a cycle that you can put a stop to.

You are patient. You give the benefit of the doubt. You take the blame. You apologize when you have done nothing wrong.

Any of those sound familiar? Do you do them too often? Do you find yourself on the apologizing, even begging, end of abuse? Well, when you engage in Reactive Abuse, it can get totally crazy-making. It's really hard to tell which end is up once that cycle revs up. And, that's definitely NOT a good thing!

My definitions of Reactive Abuse:

When an emotional abuser abuses you, and you get react to their abuse by getting angry. Then they react to your anger and say that you are being abusive.

When an emotional abuser pushes you to the edge, and tells you you're unstable and abusive when you fall off.

Nasty! Sad. Shady. And, just wrong!

It's important to see this cycle because it can be endless unless you see it and stop it. That begins by taking charge of your part in it and learning to respond rather than react to their abusive behaviors. Not easy, but do-able!

Have you ever been pushed to the point where you simply lose it by an emotional or verbal abuser? That's them exercising manipulation and control, hoping that you'll respond with rage, blame, name-calling, and all the things you'd likely rather not do.

This is the cycle of Reactive Abuse. As soon as you lose it, #Hijackals have you where they want you: they have the upper hand. Everything you do or say will be held against you, and a story about it concocted to make the Hijackal out to be the victim.

Listen in and understand fully how Reactive Abuse works, and what you can do to stop the cycle.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is Reactive Abuse
How does reactive abuse come into play
Why you feel so badly about yourself when reactive abuse plays out
What you may mistakenly do that doesn't help at all in the face of reactive abuse
When you snap, lose it, and tell it like it is and the tables get turned on you
What to do to reframe from Reactive Abuse

Are you seeing the cycles of reactive abuse clearly now? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#reactiveabuse #abusivebehaviors #reactingtoabusewithabuse #crazymakingbehavior #myabusersaysImabusive #blameshifting #Icanttakeitanymore #stoptheabuse #mastermanipulators #reactingtoabuse #losingit #emotionalabusers

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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PASTCASTING™? What it is

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 06:14:33 GMT

Wonder why you don't seem to create the momentum to address your toxic relationship? PastCasting™ is one way. It's my term for a well-established internal program that immediately causes you to stay stuck, even when you know you're settling and unhappy. Or, why you are fearful and exhausted.

It's so much easier to think of the past than face the present when you're in a toxic relationship. Distant memories can be made to seem like truth when your mind doesn't want to deal with reality in the present moment. It's false that you're protecting yourself. It's more likely that you are further hurting yourself. And, you may need a boost to make that happen.

In this episode, I hope you find that boost, that you come up-to-date with the reality of a toxic relationship. Then, you can get help to go in the direction of Emerging Empowered™, which is the name of my upcoming book. It takes clarity, will, and some strategies, but it's all worth it. Oh, yes, and it will take effort, too, even when you don't feel much like making some!

You deserve to be treated with equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. However, if you don't believe that, and don't expect that, you may settle for crumbs even when you're starving. You deserve the full meal deal, not crumbs!

Once you understand the ways of PastCasting, you'll recognize when you're inclined to do it, and hopefully, see yourself in the present, in your current situation, with rose-colored glasses resolutely off! This episode will help.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Pastcasting™ is
Why Pastcasting keeps you stuck
8 ways you might be contributing to your "stuckness"
What to do when you can finally call it abuse
Why you might think Pastcasting is making things all right...when it isn't

Ready to face the future and give up Pastcasting? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#pastcasting #stayingstuck #inatoxicrelationship #focusingonhappiertimes #stuckinthepast #getawayfromabuse #seeabuseclearly

#bepresent #stayinthenow #makingexcuses

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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10 Childhood Traumas You Need to Recognize & Recover From

Thu, 15 Apr 2021 23:46:42 GMT

Ever wonder why you give difficult or toxic people too many chances? Ever wonder why you make a plan to leave, execute it, and end up going back? It happens, and it has a reason...or twelve!

Childhood trauma often is recognized when it was obvious. Much of childhood trauma can be subtle and somewhat under the radar, too. You can heal that, too, and it can make a huge difference to your satisfaction and joy in relationships.

Riana Milne has a great definition of a toxic partner:

"anyone who makes you feel emotionally or physically ill by the way they act or treat you."

Now, do you know a toxic person? Do you have one that immediately comes to mind? Most people do...even more than one. Why are they attracted to you, and why are you attracted to them? Or, do you "settle" for relationships that really don't feel loving, joyful, trusting, respectful, and safe?

The good news is that, once you recognize the many things I've talked about myself or with guests, you can deeply understand where the past pain is and get help to heal it. That's a gift you give yourself.

So many of my clients, online community members, and Facebook group members may be overwhelmed when they realize what's currently impacting them, and their relationships. AND, although it can be hard work, they no longer want to be creating or participating in relationships that are wearing or tearing them down. THAT'S GREAT!

Today's episode is an eye-opener as my insightful guest shares with you 10 Childhood Traumas you may or may not have given thought to. Healing them and finding new pathways can change the course of your life, AND change your level of happiness. Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How trauma in your early life affects your current relationships
What traumas can cause jealousy and control
The impact of unhealed, unconscious childhood traumas
Why being overly compassionate can make you attractive to #Hijackals
Riana's Trust formula

If you have recognized childhood traumas you've experienced--maybe, just given them the attention they need, reach out for help and shortcut your journey. I'm always here for you.

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: RIANA MILNE, MA

Riana Milne is a Certified, Global Life & Love Trauma Recovery Coach, a Cert. Clinical Trauma & Addictions Professional, a Certified Mindfulness Coach, #1 Bestselling author, the Host of her Podcast called Lessons in Life & Love™, an Educational Speaker, and Licensed Mental Health Counselor for over 21 years living in Palm Beach County, Florida.

She was also a Life & Dating Coach for the Docu-Series; Radical Dating – Finding Lasting Love Over 40 (and her client is now happily married!). Riana specializes in helping those who have had past Childhood or Love Relationship Trauma to Heal, Transform & Thrive; leading them to Create the Life They Desire and to Have the Love They Deserve!

She offers Coaching programs Online for both Singles & Couples globally.

Riana’s 5-star rated books; the #1 Bestseller, LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve - and - LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose, and Success addresses Life Difficult Transitions, Personal Transformation, The Mindset for Success, and having Loving Conscious Relationships with yourself and others.

Her website & Free Resources are at> RianaMilne.com

FREE GIFT FROM RIANA MILNE:

ebook: Why 9 Out of 19 People Suffer in Life & Love and How to Have the Love You Deserve

GET IT HERE!

CONTACT INFO FOR RIANA MILNE :

Website: https://RianaMilne.com

Podcasts: https://LessonsinLifeandLove.coe

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamilne/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachRianaMilne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachrianamilne/

Twitter:

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/RianaMilne/videos

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#childhoodtrauma #rianamilne #coachrianamilne #lovetraumarecovery #relationshipcoach #childhoodinfluences #canIrecover #canihealtrauma #difficultrelationships #lovetroubles #abuseinrelationship

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Wonder Why People-Pleasers Attract Emotional Abusers?

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 03:51:14 GMT

Growing up in an emotionally abusive home, or an overly compassionate home, or even and emotionally neglectful home can set you up to accept emotional abuse. It's not your fault!

Maybe, you had a perfectly lovely home, but you were encouraged to put other people's needs, wants, expectations, and desires ahead of your own. That can happen, and you being so giving gets sadly and badly taken advantage of by a #Hijackal.

People pleasers make great targets--and easy pickings--for a Hijackal, an emotional abuser. And, yes, of course, there may well be verbal abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, or spiritual abuse, as well. Nasty!

Some people are surprised when I say that they are not here to make other people happy. It sounds like a really good thing to do. And, doing things that please others in an equal, reciprocal, and mutual relationship is a very good idea. (That's the mutuality part!) However, in an inequal, non-reciprocal, and non-mutual relationship, it all goes terribly sideways, and you can be very hurt by it.

This episode gives you twenty-five ways that you may have been setup to appeal to an emotionally abusive person, a #Hijackal. I invite you to think about each one because each one you change will improve the quality of your life. It is unlikely to improve the quality of your relationship with a Hijackal, though. They want you to remain as you were, taking what they dish out.

But, no! Time for a change. When you see these 25 things, you can change them, and that is a very good thing.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Insights into the effects of your childhood on your current relationships
Why being overly compassionate plays into a Hijackal's hands
25 ways that people pleasing ways set you up to accept emotional abuse
Why it's important to see these 25 ways so that you can change them now
How to undertake Escaping the Hijackal Trap

When you're ready to reclaim your personal power and rebuild your life in a healthier way, I'm here to help. I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#seetheabuse #peoplepleasers #narcissistsandpeoplepleasers #targetforemotionalabuse #puttingupwithemotionalabuse #amIbeingemotionallyabused #imbalanceinrelationship #outofbalance #emotionalbalance #equalityinrelationship #reciprocityinrelationship #mutualityinrelationship #healthyadultrelationship

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Feeling Stuck & Second-Guessing Yourself?

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 05:18:42 GMT

Yes, you are wise to be self-reflective, asking yourself "What is my part in the relationship difficulties?" #Hijackals and other toxic people want you to taking responsibility for the whole relationship. They are happy to tell you that everything is your fault. You know that.

In this episode, I'm addressing the three BIG questions I am asked so frequently when someone gets to the point of considering leaving, or has recently left a toxic relationship. These three questions cause them to further second-guess themselves from within. Sure, ask those three questions and answer them honestly...ONCE. Then, take action.

#Hijackals and those with narcissistic tendencies and traits know they can baffle you with sweet talk, double talk, or straight out lies. They know. Don't believe them! Yes, it's easier said than done, I know. But, don't believe them. They are behaving from self-interest alone.

Then, don't start feeding yourself the doubts the Hijackal planted within you. That's their thing: keep you in chaos and confusion, always giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is not healthy, and don't buy it.

So, these three big questions come up. Hopefully, after you listen to this episode, you'll be done with those and ready to move forward with a clearer picture of where you're going, what you want, and what you don't. Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why being self-reflective is a good first strategy
Why it's important to get things in perspective for yourself
Don't make excuses for a Hijackal and keep yourself stuck
The three questions that keep you stuck...or, make you consider going back
How, once you've thoroughly explored these three questions, you'll never have to answer them again

You want to be a good person, a fair person, in your relationship. Usually, if you're with a Hijackal, you'll be doing most of the giving, and the Hijackal will happily take, take, take. That's best clearly seen and stopped. Then, be ready to remind yourself of the answers so you don't have to think it through again. I wish you well.

I'm always here to help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#secondguessingmyself #feelingstuckinrelationship #amithenarcissist #amimakingamistake #whyistaywithanarcissist #whyistaywithahijackal #selfconfidencetoleave #alwaysbelievebehavior #downplayingtheabuse #seetheabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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MEN: How to Revive a Dormant Sex Life After You've Killed the Connection

Sat, 03 Apr 2021 20:29:35 GMT

Men, would you like to know what to say when your female partner is really angry? The answer--and many more--are in this episode with GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship.

He says, "There are so many couples in pain in the world. The man feeling that his partner criticizes and belittles him, and is not interested in sex. The woman dying for more emotional connection, and to feel much more power, leadership, and clarity from her man."

Oh, yes, you can bet I was champing at the bit with questions! Questions about gender equality, "leadership," and misogyny, for starts! And, yes, I challenged so much because I read the book and all kinds of things popped up to discuss: possessiveness, a "caveman mentality, and so much more.

Empathy which is often so lacking in toxic relationships became a big topic, going from GS's definition to mine and finding the intersections. Did we end up on the same page? Listen for that, for sure!

What about men jumping to solutions without listening to their partners? (Calm down. We're talking about men's things in this episode...lol.)

I asked GS why he talks so much as "masculine leadership." Does he balance that with feminine leadership? Are they the same, or vastly different?

I think your thoughts will be stimulated by this conversation.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

When masculinity is toxic
Mistakes you might be making (or experiencing)
How GS Youngblood shifted his thinking and expectations to improve relationships
What makes relationships go sideways
The place of empathy and what it means and looks like in relationship
What emotional oxygen is

Agree? Disagree? Learn something? It's all good.

Be good to yourself.

Rhoberta

GUEST: GS YOUNGBLOOD

GS Youngblood is the author of "The Masculine in Relationship". He coaches men in relationships on how to live, love, and lead from their Masculine core. He specializes in “nice guys” who are with strong women. His teachings combine deep embodiment work with the framework of the Masculine blueprint from his book. Learn more at gsyoungblood.com.

Reception to the book has been phenomenal. Both from men (“You just described my married life to perfection…” and “This is the best book I’ve EVER read on masculinity in a relationship”) and women (“I just picked up your book off my coffee table that my husband bought and it’s like you’ve been listening to me talk for the last few years! Insane how much you get it.”)

His writings are filtered through the laboratory of his and his clients’ real-world, long term relationships (including the successes and spectacular failures) to see what actually works and what doesn’t. Through this lens of Masculine leadership, he also pulls in principles from a variety of fields: psychology, martial arts, tango, meditation, and BDSM.

FREE GIFT FROM GS YOUNGBLOOD: Not at this time

CONTACT INFO FOR GS YOUNGBLOOD :

Website: www.GSYoungblood.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatetteh

Facebook: www.facebook.com/gsyoungblood1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmir

Twitter:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd5aEX9NV-4DzBNd8y_IvWw

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#gsyoungblood #masclineinrelationships #dontbea loser #reviveyoursexlife #dormantsexlife #nosexlife #revivingconnection #itsmorethansex #niceguys #masculinecore #masculineblueprint

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Future Faking

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 05:35:56 GMT

All those promises! All those dreams! Was it future faking? That's a very common way that #Hijackals keep you engaged in the relationship. Learn how it works...and, what really doesn't work about it. You need to see this clearly, or you'll be hooked on hope!

All you ever wanted and more...one day. That's the promise of future faking: when a Hijackal promises or alludes to giving you something you want in the future to get what they want in the present. And, so much more.

A Hijackal makes big moves early on in the relationship, feigning great interest in knowing you. Sorry. It's not because they're so interested in who you are: it's they're so interested in what they can get from you. Sad. And, this is why they #futurefake! To engage you in the dream!

Lean in and listen to all the ways narcissists use this ploy to get what they want. You'll want to recognize each one for what it is.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How #futurefaking hooks you into staying in an abusive relationship
Why it can become a pattern that you really don't see
How F.O.M.O. plays into the #futurefaking dynamics
Parents and future faking you grew up with
Red flags of future faking during dating. BIG!
How narcissists and other Hijackals paint beautiful pictures of the future
Why you need to believe the patterns and change your direction

So disappointing! Being with a #Hijackal is a roller coaster that has great, occasional highs but goes mostly downhill. Future faking is a part of this that can keep you staying when you need to be going. Create a better future yourself. .

I'm always here to help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

http://hassantetteh.successstrategiesthebook.com/#book

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#unhealthyrelationships #futurefaking #narcissistmanipulation #hookedonhope #narcissistlies #waysnarcissistssuckyouin #liesnarcissiststell #cantbelieveanarcissist #dontbelieveanarcissist #narcissisticfuturefaking

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Renowned Thoracic Surgeon Shares How Doctors Can Increase Empathy & Compassion

Thu, 25 Mar 2021 20:54:54 GMT

Why is this episode important on a show about toxic relationships? Because your doctor--and other healers--need to be empathetic, aware, interested, listening, and compassionate. Some are wonderful. Others, not so much. You need to find one that cares about all of you, not just the numbers, graphs, and medications.

In your toxic relationship, have you ever been seriously ill or injured? What kind of care did you get at home? That's a big moment, isn't it, when you realize that the toxic person can't be bothered with you, or take you seriously? How does your doctor behave?

Dr. Hassan Tetteh had early personal experiences with trauma, and the impact on him directed his life's work. A Near Death Experience changed so much for him. Dedicated to The Art of Human Care™ (also the name of his book), Dr. Tetteh helps you see what to look for in a doctor, too.

In a toxic relationships--past or present, there is often trauma from emotional abuse. You NEED your doctor to see, know, and believe what is happening to you. Emotional abuse takes a toll on your body as I discussed with Dr. Elizabeth Hughes in episode 189. Dr. Tetteh explains why you need to truly feel cared for when you need medical attention.

Although he offers his acronym, L.E.A.R.N, for healers, it's a very good approach for all of us in our relationships. Enjoy this...even if it sounds a little off our usual topics. It's valuable!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How an earlier life experiences change Dr. Tetteh's understanding of care
Why it often seems that doctors are more interested in time than patients
Hear his Human Care Theory
What's up with toxic people's response when you're ill
Why you need to find an empathetic, compassionate doctor

OK, so I hope you now recognize why I invited Dr. Tetteh to Save Your Sanity. Don't be re-wounded by a doctor who doesn't really see or hear you. Your doctor needs to be a safe place to go, whether that is your medical doctor, alternative healthy professional, or therapist.

Be good to yourself.

Rhoberta

GUEST: HASSAN TETTEH, MD

Dr. Hassan A. Tetteh is a US Navy Captain and Associate Professor of Surgery at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences and adjunct faculty at Howard University College of Medicine. He was a Robert Wood Johnson Health Policy Fellow from 2012-13, assigned to the US Congress, Congressional Budget Office, (CBO). Currently, Tetteh is a Thoracic Surgeon for MedStar Health and Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. He leads a Specialized Thoracic Adapted Recovery (STAR) Team, in Washington, DC, and his research in thoracic transplantation aims to expand heart and lung recovery and save lives.

A native of Brooklyn, New York, Tetteh received his BS from State University of New York (SUNY) at Plattsburgh, his MD from SUNY Downstate Medical Center, his MPA from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, MBA from Johns Hopkins University Carey Business School, and MS in National Security Strategy with a concentration in Artificial Intelligence from the National War College. He completed his thoracic surgery fellowship at the University of Minnesota and advanced cardiac surgery fellowship at Harvard Medical School’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston.

Tetteh is founder and principal of Tetteh Consulting Group, creator of The Art of Human CareTM book series, and a best-selling author of several books including Gifts of the Heart, Star Patrol, and The Art of Human Care. Tetteh is board certified in thoracic surgery, general surgery, clinical informatics, and healthcare management, and is a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons and Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives.

Tetteh received the Alley Sheridan Award by the Thoracic Surgery Foundation for Research and Education, was named a TEDMED Front Line Scholar, and is TEDx speaker. He’s an alumnus of the Harvard Medical School Writers’ Workshop and Yale Writers' Conference and lives near Washington, D.C. with his wife, son, and daughter.

FREE GIFT FROM DR. TETTEH,

Free Chapter from Success Strategies: LIFESAVING SUCCESS STRATEGY: THE ART OF HUMAN CARE

CONTACT INFO FOR DR. HASSAN TETTEH :

Website: DoctorTetteh.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatetteh

Facebook:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartofhumancare

Twitter: https://twitter.com/doctortetteh?lang=en

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#drhassantetteh #doctorsandempathy #increasingempathy #theartofhumancare #compassionatedoctor #empatheticdoctor #chooseanempatheticdoctor #doctorinterestedinpatient #compassion #empathy #personaldevelopment

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7 Unhealthy Patterns You Learn Growing Up in a Narcissistic Family

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 04:32:58 GMT

You may not even know you picked up all this from narcissistic family dynamics in your life. When you hear these things, you may find the key to unlocking relationship difficulties you've had in your adult life. Definitely worth listening to!

We take SO much in as young children, even before we have any language skills at all! We come to know if we're wanted, loved, appreciated, welcomed, and heard before we ever understand a word anyone says to us. That impacts our whole life...unless we recognize what slipped under our radar in our first seven years of life!

If there was a parent or other authority figure in your family who had narcissistic tendencies, you'll be recognizing these thing I talk about. It's all you knew then, but now you know more. You can do things differently!

Don't be hard on yourself! You couldn't possibly know what your early environment was putting in your mind, and how it was establishing your sense of who you were within you. That's why it's important to think about these things today.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How what happens to you in your first seven years of life can impact your adult life
7 patterns of behavior a narcissistic family--with even just one narcissistic person--will demonstrate
Why it's important to look into your early home life for things that could be negatively impacting your life now
Why I think that telling your child to stop crying or "I'll give you something to cry about" is narcissistic
How having a narcissistic parent affects your ability to ask for what you need and want in life
How recognizing these early patterns can help you make better decisions today that make you happier

Information and insights into what happened in your emotional self early in life can shift your perception of yourself. You recognize what was done TO you, and can see more clearly to make healthier choices now in your adult life and relationships.

I'm always here to help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#unhealthyrelationships #unhealthyemotional #narcissisticfamily #triangulation #indirectcommunication #unclearboundaries #youcanthaveyourfeelings #parentnotinterested #unavailableparents #selfcenteredparents #selfabsorbedparents #dontrepeatthepatterns #seethepatterns

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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GASLIGHTING: Sneaky Emotional Abuse

Tue, 16 Mar 2021 05:34:26 GMT

Understanding the many faces of gaslighting helps you see it coming. Then, seeing it for what it is, you can discount it, reject and deny it. In this episode, I help you see ten faces of gaslighting that can help you recognize it for what it is: emotional abuse.

The actual definition of gaslighting I like from www.urbandictionary.com is:

"an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception"

It has so many faces, some that you might not immediately think of as gaslighting...until now.

I often think of gaslighting as times when someone wants to define your reality for you, rather than trusting you and your senses. It's nasty, as well as sneaky. It's definite intention is to undermine your confidence in yourself in every way. Too often, it's a successful ploy!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why gaslighting is a huge issue in eroding self-confidence
10 ways gaslighting shows up and how to recognize them
Examples of gaslighting
Why it is essential to recognize the different ways a #Hijackal will attempt to gaslight you
Hopefully, by the time you hear all ten, you'll say "No More!"

A person who thinks they can tell you what you think, feel, need, want, prefer, or remember is a person to watch out for. Beware, though, because they wear you down, you may have a tendency to believe them. Don't! They are using and abusing you, and you deserve to be treated with respect, care, love, and honesty.

Here's the link to my video I mentioned: Healthy Responses to Gaslighting While you on my YouTube channel, subscribe at hit the notification bell so you'll know when there is a new video.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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TheStressAntidote.com

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#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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How Toxic Relationships Can Wear Down Your Body & Ruin Your Health - Guest: Dr. Elizabeth Hughes

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 04:23:43 GMT

You may think that you're experiencing the natural wear and tear on your health. But, if you're in a toxic relationship, it is making things so much worse! Learn about the most likely ways your body and its immune system can respond to toxic relationships with narcissistic people, or antisocial people. Talk about wear and tear!!!

Two things that cause physical health issues (among many) start with emotional abuse: stress and isolation. Both of those are present in most relationships with Hijackals, right? Constant stress and the pressure to not talk about difficulties with others outside the relationship. Very common. In this episode, I share some research findings from Dr. Gabor Mate that relate to this where he said,

"The very same brain centers that interpret and feel physical pain also become activates during experiences of emotional rejection."

Sound familiar? This can be terribly enhanced if, perchance, you had a narcissistic mother--a Hijackal mother--and then went on to be in a relationship with another Hijackal. It takes such a toll on you!

Dr. Hughes has a wonderfully refreshing approach to medicine as she tempers Western medicine with Eastern thought and practices. Enjoy her insights!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is the "rodent brain" and how it affects us
What happens in your body when it is on alert too long due to the stress of a toxic relationship
What causes "fuzzy brain"
How stress affects the body from production of different hormones
How trauma--old or current--affects the body, emotional trauma, physical trauma, sexual trauma, abandonment
How the immune system distinguishes what is toxic and what is safe
How this all relates to relationships with difficult people, toxic people, narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines

I hope you find connections within yourself to what in your relationships might be causing health issues. Often, until you realize that, you can have physical symptoms that seemingly cannot be explained. This episode might help with that.

Be good to yourself.

Rhoberta

GUEST: ELIZABETH HUGHES, MD

Dr. Hughes is a dermatologist and former faculty member at Stanford University, where she taught dozens of physicians, including many nationally-recognized leaders in the field of dermatology.

Nearly twenty years after graduating from medical school, Dr. Hughes witnessed the rapid resolution of a patient’s chronic illness without any medical intervention. This event caused Dr. Hughes to question everything she had been taught about health and illness, and to look for better answers for “incurable” conditions.

Her quest lead her to investigate ancient spiritual traditions, non-western systems of health and healing, placebo research, and the emerging sciences of epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology. In the process, she became a registered yoga teacher, a certified health coach, and a practitioner of several energy medicine modalities.

Dr. Hughes has developed a revolutionary approach to health based on establishing trust in the human body. Dr. Hughes believes that once each person has cultivated a deep and abiding trust in the power of the human body, our experience of health and illness will change for the better forever.

FREE GIFT FROM ELIZABETH:

The Stress Antidote Guide

CONTACT INFO FOR ELIZABETH HUGHES:

Website: ElizabethHughesMD.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: @ElizabethHughesMD

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethhughesmd

Instagram: @

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jEHughesMD

YouTube:

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How to Finally Believe A Hijackal Doesn't Love You

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 05:32:20 GMT

You want to believe that a Hijackal--a toxic, difficult, perhaps narcissistic person--love you. You SO want to believe it. They don't have much love to give and here's 16 ways to recognize that they aren't giving it to you. An eye-opener!

People who love you listen to you. They want to listen to you. And, you want to listen to them. You're interested in each other. Not so with a #Hijackal. The Hijackal is interested in themselves and want you to be interested in them, too. Sure, in the beginning, it's different. That's how they hook you as I spoke about in the last episode, How Hijackals Hook You Into Toxic Relationships.

You know from listening to the episode on the 3 MUST-HAVES in a Healthy Adult Relationship that equality is a must. Do you believe you have that in your relationship with a Hijackal? I'll be not. You may want to bring up a couple of instances when there seemed to be equality, but that's part of the problem. There's supposed to be equality all the time. There's an example of the love that's missing in a toxic relationship: love.

Everything is transactional with a toxic person, a person with narcissistic tendencies, and those with anti-social tendencies as well. They don't really have love to give you, but they will appear to to have you give them what they want: a transaction. I know, it's not great to hear that straightforwardly, but it's absolutely important to recognize it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The transactional nature of toxic relationships
16 ways that love relationships differ from toxic relationships
Why you must not continue to believe that you are loved and make excuses for poor behavior
My definition of emotional abuse, and why you are best to keep it in mind
Clear ways to recognize real love to compare and contrast with what a Hijackal offers you

You SO want to believe that a Hijackal loves you, I know. Sometimes, it really seems that they do, but only when it serves their purposes and gets them what they want. Sad, and unfortunately, true. Hard to hear, but time to recognize it.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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How Hijackals Hook You Into Toxic Relationships

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 04:41:10 GMT

Hijackals create toxic relationships, and it's important to see the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors clearly. That's not easy, but it is necessary.

If you've been with a Hijackal or other toxic person for long, you may feel as though you suffer from brain fog. You can't think straight and you're too exhausted to do so anyway. Gain perspective about your situation and best next steps to consider in this episode.

Hijackals are those relentlessly difficult, toxic people who seem so perfect for you in the beginning, and eventually fade into mean, thoughtless, self-centered ones later in the relationship. That later can be two days after you marry or move in, or even fade slowly over a couple of years. But, fade it will. Then, what do you do.

By the time you've been with a Hijackal for awhile, you may be exhausted from the constant put-downs, from being torn down and worn down. Hijackal count on that. You have to find your legs and stand up for yourself in very specific, non-confrontational ways.

One of those ways is my Personal Weather Report. In the episode, I mentioned some videos I've made on it on my YouTube channel. While you're watching these, be sure to subscribe and click the Bell so that you'll know each time I add a video. Here are ones that relate to the Personal Weather Report:

https://youtu.be/mFCZohqaFMM

https://youtu.be/0p-K2vKfRhA

You will also find all the details of how to give and receive a Personal Weather Report in my book, Kaizen for Couples.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How a Hijackal hooks you
Why Hijackals are in a rush to "get" you
Knowing how to recognize the Hijackal patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors
The essential step of stopping enabling the Hijackal to behave badly
My definition of assertiveness and why it's effective
Practicing the PWR

Being with a Hijackal in a supposedly romantic relationship can be huge disappointment on many levels. Get unhooked as soon as you can from their manipulations, and reclaim yourself now.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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Can Narcissists Actually Make Lasting Changes to Stop the Abuse? GUEST: Dr. Laura Dabney

Fri, 26 Feb 2021 17:56:51 GMT

You hope, hope, hope that a narcissistic person will change. You buy into their promises to change. And, you cross your fingers!

Change occurs for a hot minute...or even a warm week, right? And, then, nothing. What's up with that?

People with narcissistic tendencies, or those diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, have a hard time listening and caring about changes you would like to see. You know that already.

So, will #Hijackals ever change?

Can narcissists ever change?

Do they want to change?

What reason would they need to actually care?

Are they able to sustain changes...or interested in doin so?

I'm delighted to have Dr. Laura Dabney as my return guest to discuss this very important issue that can drive you crazy. You want to believe they'll change, I know. Don't miss this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The differences between a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and having narcissistic tendencies
Can you ever love a narcissistic person into loving you well?
How to tell the differences between being loved and being used
Can the core issues within a narcissistic person change?
How best to indicate to a narcissistic person that there is a need for change
Why narcissistic people cannot create emotional intimacy

GUEST: LAURA DABNEY, MD

Laura Dabney, MD has made a career of taking on psychiatry’s toughest challenges from treating complex, combined medical and psychological conditions, to ensuring the absolute privacy of powerful, high-profile patients. Dr. Dabney has, for decades, helped her patients change their lives for the better. And they recognize her for it. Dr. Dabney’s patients come for many reasons: depression and anxiety, recent break-ups or a lifetime of toxic relationships. Yet, despite the problems that brought them through her door, they describe her in the same terms again and again, calling her warm, knowledgeable, and committed to their success.

GIFT FOR YOU:

CONNECT WITH DR. LAURA DABNEY:

WEBSITE: https://drldabney.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/LauraDabneycom/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTW_U6Zl8X41n1mOXYM3UQ

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lauradabneycom/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/dr--laura-dabney-md

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/drldabney

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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How to Handle the Emotional Abuse of Microaggressions Using the PWR Response

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 04:30:50 GMT

The small, subtle, often sneaky words, actions, and gestures that are small or brief slights, insults, insinuations, or put downs used to marginalize you are microaggressions.

These behaviors are frequent and painful. But, they are small and they catch you off guard, wondering if you should speak up. Or, would it be making a mountain out of a molehill? Is that familiar?

Hand in hand with microaggressions are microinvalidations: small and frequent ways that you are discounted, dismissed, or denied. When a Hijackal or other toxic person denies that you know what you think, feel, need, want, or even have seen, it can be a microinvalidation. This episode helps you see the small papercuts that are intended to make you emotionally exhausted and bleeding to death. Nasty!

To do something about them, though, you have to recognize them when they are happening. Then, using my PWR response as I outline, you have a way to counteract the effect of these microaggressions on you. (The PWR strategy is from my book, Kaizen for Couples, available from Amazon in print or ebook.)

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognizing microaggressions
What a Hijackal or other toxic person tries to do by using these microaggressions
Why you are caught off guard by them and unsure of a response
Clarity that these microaggressions used in toxic relationships are emotional abuse!
Recognizing and responding to Microinvalidations
Using the PWR (Personal Weather Report) to reclaim your space

Empower yourself by catching these subtle, sneaky, nasty ways of putting you down, and using the PWR to respond. You'll feel better...although, don't expect the Hijackal to!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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#microaggressions #microinvalidations #pwrresponse #personalweatherreport #recognizingmicroaggressions #respondingtomicroaggressions #respondingtomicroinvalidations #speakingupinthefaceofverbalabuse

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How Vulnerability and Healing Can Prevent Toxic Masculinity

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 22:09:10 GMT

Ever wondered how you could possibly find forgiveness for a seemingly unforgivable act? Like being raped, beaten, and left for dead? Today's guest, Lois Wagner, found it, and she shares that journey with you today.

Toxic relationships include many kinds of abuse: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical, sexual, financial, and spiritual abuse. Moving beyond the toxic relationships is the first step on the healing journey, with so much more to follow.

In her book, Walking Without Skin: A Journey of Healing From Fear to Forgiveness to Freedom, she writes:

As I walked out of that grey, sad, bad building, I didn’t notice the barbed wire, the electrified fencing, or the armed, bulletproof-vested security guards. I didn’t see the orange-overalled prisoners or hear their raucous laughter. I didn’t notice the wild Spring flowers incongruously surrounding the grey prison buildings. I didn’t see the grazing sheep and cattle, the blue cranes at the dam, or the backdrop of the magnificent snow-capped mountain.

When I left that prison, I flew out of that place free from those physical and emotional walls and boundaries to a newfound freedom.

Lois has used her experiences to craft invaluable programs and formulas to help young men and boys to see positive pathways in life, and to create attitudes and values that will serve them well.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Finding the pathway to forgive the unforgivable
Healing the pain of betrayal
How toxic masculinity is created, and perpetuated
How to bring up boys to be positive adults (p.s. It works for all of us, at any age!)
B.R.A.V.E. = Boundaries. Respect. Agreement. Values and Vulnerability. Equality, Empathy, and Empowerment.

GUEST: LOIS WAGNER

As a survivor of a violent attack and rape, our speaker today has moved from victim through survivor to thriver and beyond to freedom. Lois uses her experience to fight toxic masculinity and to help eradicate gender-based violence.

She shares events and lessons from her own story moving her through fear into forgiveness to freedom and into the light.

Lower your guard and find how to be BRAVE in a relationship and in the fight against domestic violence as we welcome Lois as she takes you on a journey of bravery.

GIFT FOR YOU: Forgiveness Checklist https://www.walkingwithoutskin.com/forgiveness-checklist

CONNECT WITH LOIS WAGNER:

WEBSITE: https://www.walkingwithoutskin.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: http://m.facebook.com/walkingwithoutskin

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/loiswagnercoachingconversationsforchange

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lois_wagner_

TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/loiswag

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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EMOTIONAL BRAINWASHING

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 00:17:05 GMT

Sneaky stuff this emotional brainwashing! It often starts slowly and seems understandable. But, it continues and tips you over into second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity, right? And, down the slippery slope! Listen in to uncover what may be happening--or has happened--to you. Great start!

What's actual brainwashing?

Cambridge Dictionary:

"the process of making someone believe something by repeatedly telling them its true and preventing any other information from reaching them.

Hijackals and other toxic people certainly engage in emotional brainwashing. That's my term for repeatedly gaslighting you by stating that they know you better than you know yourself and they are right about what you think, feel, need, want, remember, and prefer. They continue that process by degrading, belittling, intimidating, manipulating, and lying in an attempt to make you believe that you are much less than you are.

Does this sound familiar? It may have started only occasionally: making snide remarks about you, perhaps in front of others, in the hopes that they could embarrass or humiliate you and you would be unlikely to speak up. Nasty! Then, it escalates...and often, accelerates. You need to have a name for it. I call it "emotional brainwashing."

See it to say no to it, otherwise, it will not stop.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How emotional brainwashing shows up
The phases of a toxic relationship and where the emotional brainwashing begins
Recognizing that you cannot please a #Hijackal
My story that can help you see why you may be denying the emotional brainwashing
Remembering that it is not your fault, and what to think instead

You did not set out to be trauma-bonded. It's nothing that you did. You were set up for it earlier in life, either by being healthy and happy and never imagining this could be the case, or by having been in traumatic relationships earlier in your life. It's not your fault.

Now, that this is all clear to you, you're better equipped to make progress towards a happier, healthier life.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#traumabonding #traumabonds #emotionalbrainwashing #gaslighting #gaslightingisabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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How the Strong Pull of Trauma-Bonding Creates Addiction to a Toxic Relationship

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 05:07:42 GMT

Trauma-bonding is circular. The abuser creates the trauma, and then wants you to turn to them when you're hurt and traumatized. You are traumatized by something the abuser does, and you want the abuser to feel understood and you lean in. Circular!

That's why it is SO important to understand the fourteen signs of a trauma-bonded person that I talk about in this episode. You may recognized the patterns--and the drama--that you are experiencing or have experienced. So helpful!

Dr. Patrick Carnes in The Betrayal Bond says that traumatic bonding occurs when "victims have a certain dysfunction attachment that occurs in the presence of danger, shame, or exploitation. There often is seduction, deception, or betrayal. There is always some form of danger or risk."

That is that the very thing that hurts you draws you closer. No more, right? This episode could be a turning point in your life and in your relationships.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The definition of trauma-bonding
Understanding the addictive nature of trauma-bonding
14 signs of trauma-bonding from Dr. Patrick Carnes
How you might mistake intensity for intimacy when in a relationship with a #Hijackal
Dr. Shaler's definition of toxic relationships
Insights into why you have felt as you do in destructive, toxic relationships

Now, that this is all clear to you, you're better equipped to make progress towards a happier, healthier life.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#traumabonding #traumabonds #addictedtoabuse #addictedtotoxicrelationship #stopthecrazymaking #howtraumabonds #signsoftrumabonding #intensityisnotintimacy

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Recognizing The Impact of Shame in Toxic Relationships

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 22:37:52 GMT

Shame is often not spoken of, or acknowledged on both sides of an emotionally abusive relationship with anyone. Today's episode puts the spotlight on this component of emotional abuse, for both the perpetrator and the recipient.

My guest, Beverly Engel, wrote in her most recent book, Escaping Emotional Abuse: Healing From the Shame You Don't Deserve:

"Shame is the most destructive aspect of emotional abuse and it can be the most difficult to heal."

Sometimes people stay in abusive relationships BECAUSE they feel that leaving one is shameful. After all, you chose to enter it, if it's a romantic relationship. Know this: emotionally abusive people pose as potential soulmates to lure you into giving them control over time. It's not your fault! You couldn't have known, in most cases. So, this episode will be ABSOLUTELY affirming for you, and can give you a new perspective that is empowering.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Differences between conscious and unconscious abusers
How we accept shame when we have had childhood abuse, childhood emotional neglect, or adverse childhood experiences
Differences between shame and guilt
Why shame is so hidden and, therefore, damaging
The link between shame and narcissism
Why Beverly Engel suggests that shame's counter emotion is pride

GUEST: BEVERLY ENGEL

Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and an acclaimed advocate for victims of toxic relationships and sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. She is the author of 23 self-help books, including 3 bestselling books on emotional abuse: The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, The Emotionally Abused Woman, and Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman. Engel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and has been practicing psychotherapy for 40 years.

She is author of the forthcoming book, ESCAPING EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Healing from the Shame You Don’t Deserve (Kensington, January 2021). She writes about the insidious damage of emotional abuse – a form of domestic violence - and the forms it can take (such as saying or implying that you are ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, or that no one else could love you). Once a person finally realizes they are being emotionally abused, it is debilitating shame that prevents them from first creating the emotional armor necessary to shield one’s identity from abusive messages, and then stepping away from the relationship.

Engel shares the Five-Step Program she offers in her therapy practice, which has helped her victims overcome the shame of Emotional Abuse, and will also serve as a guide for your listeners who provide services to the emotionally abused.

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time

CONNECT WITH BEVERLY ENGEL:

WEBSITE: https://www.healmyshame.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: http://m.facebook.com/beverly.engel.96

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/beverlyengel

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverly-engel-2164217

TWITTER:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#healmyshame #healingmyshame #toxicshame #shameandemotionalabuse #escapingemotionalabuse #beverlyengel

#passiveaggressive #childhoodemotionalneglects #CENS #adversechildhoodexperiences #ACEs

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EMOTIONAL ABUSE: The High Cost of Enabling a Narcissistic Hijackal

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 04:25:56 GMT

You think you're doing your best, giving your all, compromising, and cooperating.

In a healthy relationship, that's great.

In a toxic relationship, you'll be expected to over-give and more.

It's a setup for emotional abuse. Listen in to see it even more clearly!

You may hear the word "enabling" and know that it is not a good thing. That's true. Knowing what it IS so you can clearly observe it and recognize it is primary. My definition of enabling is:

"When you usually step in to fix, solve, excuse, rationalize, justify, or make the consequences go away for the poor choices of others."

Does that sound familiar?

Sometimes, you're so exhausted that you let it wash over you, I know. That's just how #narcissists and #Hijackals want you to be: too tired, confused, and worn down to put up any resistance to their having more and more power in the relationship.

You CAN stop enabling their behaviors, and stop in small steps. (That's what I help my clients do, and you can use my new client, one-time offer for a full hour session for only $97.)

You are likely a good person who has done everything you can think of to please your partner or parent. #Hijackals simply won't be pleased for more than a hot minute. You've experienced that, right? So, lean in and listen, so you can think of your next best steps.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

4 main reasons why you might enable a toxic relationship to continue
What you may be hoping you'll get in response to the enabling (You won't.)
Why being your wonderful self will never be good enough for a #Hijackal
The dynamics of being with a toxic partner and their blame, shame, guilt, and fault-finding
8 ways a #narcissist or #Hijackal perpetrates emotional abuse

When you get enmeshed and entangled in enabling, it leads to further and further emotional abuse. See it clearly now, and take action...no matter how small you start. Start!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#highcostofemotionalabuse #enabling #enablingdefinition #enablinganarcissist #enablingahijackal #stopenabling #makingconsequencesgoaway #whatisenabling #amianenabler #whytostopenabling #whyienable #stoptheemotionalabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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40 Underhanded, Undermining Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 05:23:27 GMT

Every now and again, everyone has an off minute, and says or does something unkind, thoughtless, or just plain hurtful. Toxic people have many traits that happen too consistently...and, too often.

The difference between a person having a toxic moment, and a person who has many toxic traits is that the healthier person will acknowledge, take responsibility for, and apologize after behaving poorly. A #Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult, often narcissistic one--will not be accountable or responsible. They are even likely to blame their poor behavior on you!

That's why it is SO important to take stock of what is going on in your relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, adult child, or co-worker. This episode will help you do that. I suggest you create a tally as you listen. How many of these 40 traits does the person exhibit? Oops!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

My personal definition of a toxic relationship
Why healthy people often give toxic people too much understanding, compassion, and "wiggle room."
Passive-aggressive behaviors (Read my book on Amazon, Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game )
40 behaviors that create toxic relationships
Ways to understand issues you may not have had your finger on before now
Understanding the nature of a toxic relationship to make decisions about your future.

If you had a toxic parent, you'll be more susceptible to finding a toxic partner acceptable. That's really something to watch for.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/free-stuff

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#signsofatoxicrelationship #signsyouareinatoxicrelationship #amiinatoxicrelationship #amiinatoxicrelationshipwithmymother #toxicrelationshipwithparents #toxicrelationshipwithpartner #toxicrelationshipwithsibling #toxicrelationshipsatwork #underminingbehaviorsinarelationship #underhandedbehaviors

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Have ADHD? Why You Might Be An Unwitting Hijackal Magnet

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 17:14:11 GMT

Toxic relationships are created when a partner exploits the vulnerabilities of the other. If you have ADHD tendencies, you may easily miss red flags as you pay attention to the charms, and are intrigued by the possibilities of the fake future they paint so readily.

Fear and shame also play a part you need to recognize. Hijackals have a honed sense of recognition of vulnerabilities. They are on high alert, looking for these to use to their advantage. You can be the most successful person and they'll see you as a challenge. Not good, at all!

Diann Wingert shares her insights and studies to help us understand why people with ADHD may not see toxic relationships clearly, and stay too long even though they are experiencing emotional abuse.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How ADHD affects your ability to see red flags when you meet someone new
Traits women with ADHD have that makes them more susceptible to toxic relationships
Why intuition sometimes fails to discern patterns of manipulation when ADHD is present
Why verbal abuse and emotional abuse are sometimes not enough to make someone with ADHD leave a narcissist
Reasons that people with ADHD fail to leave toxic relationships and to recognize emotional trauma

GUEST: DIANN WINGERT

Diann Wingert is a mindset and productivity coach for female entrepreneurs who identify with the traits of ADHD, officially diagnosed or not. During her 20-year career as a licensed psychotherapist, Diann saw many brilliant and ambitious women struggle with unidentified ADHD, including Diann herself. Since her own mid-life diagnosis, she now mentors women who are “driven but distracted” to get focused and overcome procrastination, perfectionism, and people-pleasing so they can craft a life and business they love.

Diann offers both individual and small group virtual coaching and mentoring to women all over the world. She is a dynamic podcast guest on the topics of ADHD in high ability women, the mental health challenges of entrepreneurship, self care for the self employed and how women can cultivate an entrepreneurial mindset.

GIFT FOR YOU: Wow! Diann is offering you three things at NO cost:

6 Steps to ADHD Mastery, The Driven Woman's Roadmap and the ADHD Signature Strengths Quiz.

CONNECT WITH DIANN WINGERT :

WEBSITE: h ttps://www.diannewingertcoaching.com

PODCAST: The Driven Woman https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/podcast

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/diannwingertcoaching

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/coachdiannwingert/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/

TWITTER:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#toxicshame #adhd #add #attentiondeficitdisorder #attentiondeficityhyperactivitydisorder #whyadhdcausesmetomiss #impulsivitywithadd #missingredflags #diannwingert #thedrivenwoman #adhdcoachforfemaleentrepreneurs #femaleentrepreneurswithadhd #diannwingertcoaching #ihaveadhd #adhdandtoxicrelationships

#passiveaggressive

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Why Not To Believe The Promise Of Change From A Narcissist - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 05:07:26 GMT

People with narcissistic tendencies and traits want to have their way, and want you to do their bidding.

If they really, really, really want something, or, if they are really, really, really afraid of losing something, they sometimes promise to change.

How many promises has a narcissist--a narcissistic #Hijackal--made to you about changing behaviors? How many of those promises were kept? Right! Not many.

Oh, yes, maybe for a hot minute things improved. That is usually to get you to believe that they sincerely mean what they say. The proof, though, is in the long-term, sustained changes. How many of those changes did you see?

Learning more about why change isn't sustained is important. BUT, it doesn't excuse it. Save yourself from further emotional abuse.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why admitting a mistake is so difficult for a #narcissist, a #Hijackal
5 reasons #narcissists will give you the impression they are going to change
Why #narcissists seldom change and narcissistic abuse prevails
Why you get your hopes up when a #Hijackal changes even a little more to the positive
Why toxic relationships stay the same
How promising to change and not doing it contributes to emotional abuse

Narcissists are abusive. Their very real fear of closeness gives them little ability or willingness to move in your direction. Promising to change but never actually changing is one way this shows up. See it clearly, even when hope tries to get in your way. You and your children need to be in healthy environments where there is no verbal abuse, no emotional abuse, and no other kind of abuse, either.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#whynottobelieveanarcissist #promisesofnarcissists #alwaysbelievebehavior #narcissistsseldomchange #dontgetyourhopesup #canIbelieveanarcissistspromises #believinganarcissist #believeanarcissist #promisestochange #narcissistpromisestochange #saveyourselffromabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Got chemistry? Nice But Not Enough!

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 06:11:03 GMT

Hijackals use chemistry to manipulate and control you. They exploit it to feel they have power over you. It is a significant part of trauma-bonding. Get clear on what's really happening when you think you're in love, rather than knowing you're being used.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What lust, attraction, and attachment have to do with creating toxic relationships
Why #Hijackals want to recreate their trauma from a position of control
What part trauma-bonding plays in thinking you have chemistry with a toxic person
How #Hijackals depend on the chemistry to keep you hooked in a toxic relationship, a verbally abusive relationship
How misused chemistry can lead to emotional abuse

Chemistry may draw you back to a relationship of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. You may confuse it with love. It isn't love. Don't be fooled. Stop the trauma-bonding, too!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#traumabonding #chemistryisnotenough #verballyabusive #dontgobacktoabuse #lust #attraction #attachment #don'tmistakechemistryforlove #chemistryisnotcaring #goingbacktoanabuser #gotchemistry #sexualchemistrycanbedangerous

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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The Endless, Exhausting Competitiveness of Hijackals in Toxic Relationships

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 05:53:40 GMT

Constant emotional competition is exhausting.

Most people only do it in one or two small areas of life. When you have a Hijackal parent or partner, it is a daily occurrence--even minute-to-minute--in large and tiny ways. Some ways, you may not even recognize. Listen to learn ten tips to help you emotionally disengage! That's the first, and maybe most important, step!

#Hijackals turn every relationship into a competition. Even things you would not imagine they would find a need to win in, they will! Sad.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why #Hijackals feel the need to compete in relationships
How something you think couldn't possibly matter gets turned into a battle with a #Hijackal
Why knowing Hijackals have fragile ego is no reason to coddle them
Why Hijackals NEED to break you, and feel gratified in doing so
10 internal tips for starting to disengage from the competition you don't want

A very important thing to remember if you have a #Hijackal partner, parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker:

You didn't break them: You cannot fix them. It's not your job.

(Hint: all the love, patience, struggle, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, or willingness will not cause them to change. Got it? Good!)

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

https://www.thebookofpublicspeaking.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistscompete #competitionwithnarcissists #whyiseverythingacompetition #hijackalsarecompetitive #narcissistsarecompetitive

#relationshipcompetition #competitioninrelationship #competitiveparents #competitivepartners #toxiccompetition #competitionintoxicrelationships

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Why Narcissistic People Hijack Holidays & Ruin Celebrations

Tue, 29 Dec 2020 05:22:51 GMT

It's common for Hijackals to ruin holidays. Narcissistic folks can be counted on to do it, too.

What's up with that? They'll do it for any celebration.

This episode will help you understand why it happens, AND offers practical suggestions for responding to it in healthier ways.

You don't want to dread the holidays, yet that often happens. You just know that things are going to be tense, at a minimum, right?

There are reasons why these sad folks get so mean around the holidays, or any celebration that is not focused on them.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Listen in and take this to heart. It will save you heartache!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

7 sad reasons that narcissistic people ruin celebrations and #Hijackals ruin the holidays
Knowing why they do it, what you can do
How being emotionally prepared for things to go wrong helps
How being physically prepared for when things go sideways in the holidays helps
Remember, it's not your fault
Why no amount of trying to please a narcissistic person will work

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistsruinparties #narcissistsruincelebrations #narcissistsruinholidays #hijackalsruincelebrations #hijackalsruinholidays #whynarcissisticpeoplehavetoruinholidays #ruiningtheholidays #ruiningthecelebration #allaboutthenarcissist #hijackalsneedthespotlight

#needingattention #mustbethecenterofattention

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Recognize When It's Become Verbal Abuse!

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 06:54:15 GMT

You might give someone the benefit of the doubt too often. You may be on the receiving end of verbal abuse AND it's important to be clear about it.

Verbal abuse is bullying to win. It's unacceptable. Recognize the many faces of verbal abuse now!

According to USLegal.com, verbal abuse is

"words used to cause harm to the person being spoken to."

It's all about the intent to cause harm: verbal, emotional harm. That can include shouting, insulting, intimidating, threatening, shaming, and demeaning. Do any of those sound familiar?

Lean in and learn all the many ways that verbal abuse shows up. You may have slowly grown accustomed to it, and that's what needs changing now. See verbal abuse for what it is: a gateway to other forms of abuse.

It may be time to accept that you are being verbally abused, and that needs to stop.

Let's talk if you need to: BeAClient.com I'll help you with strategies.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

A clear definition of verbal abuse
Why verbal abuse equals personal attack
The differences between a "normal" argument and verbal abuse
The many faces of verbal abuse
How verbal abuse is the gateway to emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and spiritual abuse
The importance of recognizing the forms of verbal abuse

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#recognizingverbalabuse #signsofverbalabuse #verbalabusetoemotionalabuse #verbalabusegateway #gatewaytoemotionalabuse #stopverbalabuse #saynotoverbalabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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What's Narcissistic? What's Self-Centered,? What's Healthy?

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 05:15:57 GMT

The term "narcissistic" is used too commonly now, in my opinion. When people even talk about themselves a little too much for your liking, you may label it "narcissistic."

It's important to be able to tell the differences among people who are narcissistic, people who are self-centered, and those who are healthy and maybe having a bad day. Why? Because they require different responses.

Both narcissistic and self-centered people talk about themselves more than most folks are comfortable with, for sure. But one is truly empathic, and one is not. Bets? One has a regard for others, the other does not. Hmmm....I wonder which?

A person doesn't need to be diagnosable to have narcissistic tendencies that make them difficult, if not nearly impossible, to want to live with. If you've experienced that, you may fear the same when you meet a self-centered person. That's where today's distinctions can help you greatly.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Defining narcissistic tendencies
Defining self-centered behaviors
Distinctions between narcissistic vs self-centered
Why the distinction is important
What healthy behaviors are that are neither narcissistic nor self-centered
Learn to see the red flags and to know what they signal

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissisticbehavior #narcissistictendencies #selfcenterednotnarcissistic #narcissisticvsselfcentered #isitnarcissisticorselfcentered #notallselfcenteredpeoplearenarcissists #differencebetweennarcissisticandselfcentered #selfcenteredornarcissistic #selfcenteredbehavior #selfabsorbedornarcissistic

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Being Successful In Spite Of A Toxic Father GUEST: Corey Poirier

Sat, 12 Dec 2020 19:21:22 GMT

Succeeding in spite of having toxic parents and a difficult past! We talk about that journey, and what succeeding really means. It's not about money only, but SO much more.

A shaky emotional start in life doesn't define you. Don't let it!

Corey Poirier, author of Book Of WHY, shares his path from life with an absent, though toxic, father to becoming the founder of bLU Talks, and being featured on the foremost radio and television shows, as well as being a columnist for top business magazines like Entrepreneur and Forbes.

Sure, his thing is business and he shows you his path to success. No, that may not be yours, but the underlying thoughts, shifts, changes, and beliefs that he found instrumental to living his best life is what he shares today. Inspiring! As Corey says,

"People often remember to feed their bodies, but often forget to feed their minds. Each is equally important."

Lean in and learn more to inspire and motivate you to make shifts that will lead you to the life you want.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How toxic relationships diminish you
How toxicity depletes you of your vision, purpose, and motivation
How Corey Poirier's toxic relationship with his father impacted him in life and business
Why it's so important to know your "why"
Empowering yourself to live your "why" and release yourself
How Corey stays strong and focused

GUEST: COREY POIRIER

Corey Poirier is a multiple-time TEDx, MoMondays and PMx, Speaker. He is also the host of the top rated ‘Let's Do Influencing’ Show, founder of The Speaking Program, founder of bLU Talks, and he has been featured in multiple television specials. A columnist with Entrepreneur and Forbes magazine, he has featured in/on CBS, CTV, NBC, ABC, is a Forbes Coaches Council member, and is one of the few leaders featured twice on the popular Entrepreneur on Fire show. He has also interviewed over 6,000 of the world’s top leaders.

GIFT FOR YOU: Wow! Corey's offering you his downloadable book, "The Book of Public Speaking," here

CONNECT WITH COREY POIRIER :

WEBSITE: https://thatspeakerguy.com

PODCAST: Let's Do Influencing https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/lets-do-influencing/id948005962

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/coreypoirierpage/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpafeqFkcl8fyIYmcoUBuNA?view_as=subscriber

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatspeakerguy/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/speakercoreypoirier/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/thatspeakerguy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#toxicfather #overcomingtoxicfather #besuccessful #overcominglimitations #coreypoirier #tedxspeaker #becomingasuccessfulbusinessman #whatIlearnedtosucceed #thatspeakerguy #founderofBLUtalks #entrepreneuronfire #nolimitations #succeedinginspiteofyourbackground #bLUTAlks

#passiveaggressive

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The SHAME Of It All: Narcissistic, Over-Nurturing Or Needy?

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 06:12:07 GMT

Shame is a painful emotion caused by recognizing guilt, shortcomings or impropriety, and the basis for narcissistic, over-nurturing, and needy behaviors. SO important to recognize these to understand the dynamics and how you may be caught by the cycle of shame in toxic relationships with partners and parents.

Things happen when you're little and you don't realize what's becoming part of you. Being shamed at an early age by the people who were supposed to protect you makes a huge impact on you!

#Narcissists take shape then, and so do many people who are attracted to them--or at least, taken in by them.

This is NEED-TO-KNOW information. It can help you understand decisions you need to make that will change the quality of your life.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What happens when you were shamed as a child
Early choices you make in response to being shamed
How shame affects your attachment style in adult relationships
Two responses to deep shame...poles apart
The difference between shame and guilt
Who will be attracted to #narcissists and other #Hijackals
Who #narcissists and other #hijackals are attracted to and why
Projection: how it works in the shame cycle

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#shame #beingshamed #shamedbyanarcissist #shamedbyaparent #shamedbyapartner #recognizingshame #narcissistsandshame #shamecanmakeyouneedy #toxicshame #coreshame

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Tips on Negotiating Child Custody and Visitation GUEST: Andrea Schneider, Attorney

Sat, 05 Dec 2020 23:52:06 GMT

Divorce is difficult, especially when you have children. Multiply the difficulties by tens if you're divorcing a #Hijackal, a #narcissistic person, or any other toxic person.

You want to feel confident about negotiating custody and negotiating visitation. Andrea Schneider, attorney in San Diego, offers what you need to know to do your best in mediation and court.

Andrea Schneider recognizes the added difficulties of dealing with divorce after years of stress, distress, anxiety, and put downs. Although she now does not do high-conflict divorce cases, she made that decision by knowing how very hard, long, and troublesome it can be!

We talk about child custody issues that may seen straight forward in most cases, and how they go sideways with #Hijackals. The invaluable information here can make a huge difference in how you approach your attorney, how you approach mediation, and how you approach going to court.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Andrea shares what she has seen with Hijackals in court
What #Hijackals bring to the court or mediation process that impedes fairness
How the court defines "the best interests of the child"
Tactics for negotiating with a difficult person, negotiating with a toxic person
Strategies for communicating with a toxic ex to co-parent
What is best for the kids and how you keep that focus

GUEST: ANDREA SCHNEIDER

As a mother of 2 awesome kids, Andrea knows that your kids are so important to you. Attorney Andrea Schneider loves helping parents create and negotiate a child custody agreement that is in the best interest of their children.

Andrea Schneider, has been licensed as an attorney for over 27 years. As an attorney, her goal is to provide quality counsel to good people dealing with the toughest situations of their lives. She focuses her practice primarily on family law and in particular, child custody cases.

She is a trained mediator, which helps her approach family law cases with a unique perspective. Andrea serves clients in San Diego, El Cajon, Lemon Grove, and the surrounding communities.

Andrea realizes that any legal situation can be stressful and expensive. Its outcome can dramatically impact your life from every possible angle. Acting as your legal advocate, Andrea will work to decrease the stress you are experiencing by offering affordable and effective legal counsel.

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.

CONNECT WITH ANDREA SCHNEIDER :

WEBSITE: https://www.AndreaSchneider.us

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/AndreaDSchneider

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN:

TWITTER:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#childcustodyattorney #preparingforcourt #negotiatingcustody #custodyandnarcissistis #custodyandhijackals #visitationrights #negotiatingvisitation #parentingagreements #preparingtomediatechildcustody #childcustodywithanarcissit #childcustodywithahijackal #courtwithanarcissist #courtwithahijackal #andreaschneider #andreaschneiderattorney

#passiveaggressive

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Narcissistic Folks: Unable Or Unwilling To Empathize?

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 06:39:13 GMT

Lack of empathy in one partner creates a deficit that the other partner cannot fill...no matter how hard one tries!

Learn more about the differences in functioning, and the decisions #Hijackals and other narcissistic people make about demonstrating empathy. Eye-opening!

Empathy is the ability to identify what someone is thinking or feeling, and then to be able to respond to THEIR thoughts and feelings with an appropriate response. Can the person you have in mind do this? When do they do this? What's up when they do this?

#Hijackals are notoriously self-focused and self-referential. Everything revolves around them in a world that works for them, right?

How they express, use, and manipulate by the use of empathy, or empathy like, patterns is important to recognize. I think it will be clear after you listen to this episode.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Do narcissistic people like #Hijackals have empathy?
How narcissists use empathy
How you can be fooled--lulled, even--into believing a Hijackal has empathy
What's required to have empathy
How narcissistic, psychopathic, and sociopathic people use empathy for their own ends
What to watch for now that you know how you may be being manipulated

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#empathy #lackingempathy #donarcissistslackempathy #unwillingtobeempathetic #arenarcissistsempathetic #donarcissistshavempathy #dohijackalshavempathy #arehijackalsempathetic #dohijackalslackempathy #hehasnoempathy #shehasnoempathy

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Isolation: A Nasty Tactic of Coercive Control

Tue, 24 Nov 2020 06:42:36 GMT

When you are first with a #Hijackal, you are flattered that they want you all to themselves. You're delighted that they want to be with you, and "can't get enough of you." That's the normal joy of a new relationship.

Then, when you're with a toxic person, a #Hijackal, a #narcissist, there comes a moment when you find yourself isolated, alone, and marginalized. You look around and you have been separated from your family and friends.

#Hijackals are happy then. You're not and in this episode, I'm giving you clear insight into how narcissistic people manipulate you into that isolation. It's usually gradual, and you don't realize what the final result will be. You're still trying to compromise and accommodate.

The #Hijackal has another plan, and it involves cutting you off from as much support as possible. Nasty!

Once you clearly see these manipulations, you can begin to put an end to it--one way or another.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

5 reasons #Hijackals, #narcissists, and other toxic people isolate you
The differences they show in public and in private
How and why Hijackals try to install themselves between you and the world
11 ways the abuse of isolation shows up
Why you need to clearly see these isolation tactics

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#coercivecontrol #isolationbyanarcissist #isolationinarelationship #isolationbyahijackal #beingisolatedbyanabuser #isolatedandcoercivecontrol #drevanstark #regainingselfconfidence #saynotoabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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The Differences Between Well-Formed vs Badly-Formed Love GUEST: Dr. Gary Salyer

Sat, 21 Nov 2020 21:48:58 GMT

Are you suffering as a result of what Dr. Gary Salyer calls "badly-formed love?"

You could be. Suffering is part of it, for sure. And, so much more.

Do you know what well-formed love is? Have you seen it when you were growing up, or created it as an adult? Were you comfortable with it?

BIG QUESTIONS!

Dr. Gary Salyer has been my guest on Save Your Sanity before, and we talked about Trauma-Bonding. He was also on my Emotional Savvy podcast and we talked in-depth about Attachment Theory and Styles. (And, P.S. there are still over 150 episodes available to listen to even though I don't do it anymore.)

So much wisdom, great insights, and a wicked sense of humor, too. Enjoy!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What well-formed love is
Where you form the basis for badly-formed love
What is reasonable to expert from a "loving relationship"
What might skew or warp your ideas of what a healthy relationship is
What Dr, Gary Salyer means by "bonded to misery"
The dysfunctional bond when love is mixed with suffering

GUEST: DR. GARY SALYER

Based on a field of study called Attachment Theory, the science of intimate relationships, Dr. Salyer’s insights have a profound and often times immediate impact. As a transformational relationship mentor, he helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.

After Dr. Gary Salyer’s second marriage crumbled he felt like an utter, complete failure. Rather than give in, he dedicated himself to doing deep research about all things love. He read, researched, furthered his education in the field, talked to experts and to people he loved. Most of all he did the deep transformation work that unlocked his heart and released his soul to love as he had always imagined.

Love and how to make it lasting – became his life’s highest calling—In so doing, he has developed a powerful and effective methodology to make it “Safe to Love Again”

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.

CONNECT WITH DR. GARY SALYER:

WEBSITE: https://www.garysalyer.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/SafetoLoveAgain

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/dr.gary.salyer/

LINKEDIN: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/gary-d-salyer-ph-d/8/93a/8a5

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/GaryDSalyer

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Relationship Help Support Circles

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#drgarysalyer #badlyformedlove #illformedlove #attachmentstyles #whymyrelationshipisfailing #sabotagingrelationship #safetoloveagain #ruiningrelationships #subconsciousrelationshippatterns #canIbeloved #passiveaggressive

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intimidation and Coercive Control: How and Why It's Holding You Hostage - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 05:48:09 GMT

You're worn, torn, and put down. You're exhausting in every way. The #narcissist, the #Hijackal, see that as an accomplishment.

Hijackals are intimidating. They expect you to comply with their wishes, wants, demands, and supposed needs.

#Hijackals threaten you. They want to instill fear and make you dependent on them, all the while complaining that you are, right?

It's SO important that you recognize the ways--small and large--that emotional abusers intimidate you, or could intimidate you. Sometimes, their negative behavior starts in small ways, and grows to ultimate control. Or, at least, that's their plan. This episode will give you the insights to see what's up, and why you may be tolerating it. AND, the first steps to saying "NO!" to it in small, internal ways to start.

Hopefully, after listening, you'll begin to see the need to start some internal sifting and sorting in preparation for a big change.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The six ways intimidation is used to control
Why you might be suffering from being intimidated
Three main methods of intimidation
Why intimidation succeeds
How #Hijackals use "withholding" to control you
How #gaslighting plays into intimidation
Recognizing coercive control for what it is

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#coercivecontrol #intimidationbynarcissist #intimidationbypredator #intimidationinmyrelationship #fearinrelationships #sayingnotocoercivecontrol #livinginfear #livingwithsecrets #regainingselfconfidence #saynotoabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Self-Centered, Selfish Or Narcissistic? GUEST: Dr. Laura Dabney

Sat, 14 Nov 2020 19:37:26 GMT

There can be a razor's edge difference between a self-centered person and a narcissistic one.

Does it really matter if you know when you are dealing with them?

Dr. Laura Dabney offers her experience as a psychiatrist dealing with some of the most difficult cases in the field. Her insights will help you more deeply understand those differences between a generally self-centered person, and a truly narcissistic one.

I've often spoken about "healthy selfishness" and we continue that conversation. Where are the limits? When does it become unhealthy? So many questions that help you understand the relationship you may have with a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child.

Oh, and bright, high-performing folks. Are they more likely to have narcissistic tendencies?

Get answers today, here, now.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Differences between healthy selfishness and unhealthy narcissism
Why high-achieving folks often walk a fine line between self-centeredness and narcissism
How to find a balance between being healthily driven and engaged and unhealthy, looking for power
Your rights to set boundaries especially against aggression
What about passive-aggressive tendencies?
Will toxic people respect your boundaries?
The three biggest red flags that someone is toxic

GUEST: DR. LAURA DABNEY

Laura Dabney, MD has made a career of taking on psychiatry’s toughest challenges from treating complex, combined medical and psychological conditions, to ensuring the absolute privacy of powerful, high-profile patients. Dr. Dabney has, for decades, helped her patients change their lives for the better. And they recognize her for it. Dr. Dabney’s patients come for many reasons: depression and anxiety, recent break-ups or a lifetime of toxic relationships. Yet, despite the problems that brought them through her door, they describe her in the same terms again and again, calling her warm, knowledgeable, and committed to their success.

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.

CONNECT WITH DR. DABNEY:

WEBSITE: https://www.weconcile.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/LauraDabneycom/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTW_U6Zl8X41n1mOXYM3UQ

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lauradabneycom/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/dr--laura-dabney-md

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/drldabney

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#healthyselfishness #drlauradabney #psychiatrist #selfcenteredornarcissistic #selfcentered #healthynarcissism #ismypartnerselfcentered #ismypartnernarcissistic #manipulatedbyanarcissist #drivenbyselfcenteredness #highachievers #highachieversnarcissism #passiveaggressive

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Boomeranging: How To Leave and Stay Gone!

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 06:13:48 GMT

It's common for folks to desperately find their way to get away from a toxic relationship. Then, the doubts start, as well as the pleading and promises from a toxic spouse.

You'll need these helpful insights into how to plan to leave so that you won't give in to the temptation to return. And, if you have left, what to do when you want to go running back to the abuse.

Yes, you're leaving a toxic person, a #Hijackal, because they are emotionally abusive. You may not want to think of it as abuse, but that's what it is.

Oxford dictionary:

abuse: use to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. pervert, take advantage of
treat a person with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly

Emotional abuse is difficult to see when it's happening to you, but you sure know how it feels, right? That's what you've walking--or running--away from. Remember that when you're tempted to return.

In this episode, I give you eight things you might be telling yourself to convince yourself to go back once you've left, and seven things you can do to remind yourself why you will not go back. I hope they help you.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Boomeranging happens often: leaving an abusive relationship and then going back
How to stop the cycle of leaving and returning to a #narcissist, a #Hijackal, an #abuser
Why you second-guess your decision to leave once the stress of leaving is relieved
How to keep moving forward once you've left a toxic relationship
8 reasons you give yourself for going back to a toxic relationship
7 things to do to set yourself straight and not go back

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#leavinganabusiverelationship #leavinganabuser #dontgoback #leaveanddontgoback #boomeranging #goingbacktoanabusiverelationship #goingbacktoanabuser #hownottogobacktoanabusiverelationship

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Differences in Attachment Affect the Wisdom of Staying Together GUEST: Jennifer Lehr

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 19:05:40 GMT

Wondering why your relationship always seems a bit off? Why you cannot get the emotional intimacy you crave?

The Attachment Style you adopted as a result of your early life experiences plays a big part in how you create and relate with others.

Knowing your Attachment Style provides you with invaluable insights into how you create relationships, what you expect from them, and where your fears about them lie.

GOOD NEWS! Just because you may have had poor models of healthy relationships in your young life doesn't mean you cannot emerge from that experience to create healthy, emotionally mature bonds now. It starts with recognizing your attachment style and how that colors your view of relationship. Then, you can work through to heal.

When you're uninformed about Attachment Styles, you can feel a little powerless. Gaining this knowledge and choosing to move in healthier, more secure, and less fearful ways of being in relationship is empowering.

Enjoy!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Attachment Theory is and how it informs relationships
How Attachment Theory affects your ability to understand your partner's feelings and triggers
Why your Attachment Style can prevent you from establishing the closeness you long for
What steps you can take to move towards creating a healthier, more secure Attachment Style
Jennifer Lehr's journey from what she calls "dismal relationship ability" to being in a happy, healthy relationship
Gain insights and hope for creating deeper, healthier bonds

GUEST: JENNIFER LEHR

Jennifer Lehr is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the founder of WeConcile, an online program for committed couples seeking help, as well as an educator on the process of living, self-acceptance and stepping into your magic life.

In 2009, she began writing WeConcile a revolutionary do-it-yourself online educational application that helps couples improve trust, intimacy, safety and connection through established relationship science. She created WeConcile to help couples get free from pain and disconnection, and to again find happiness in marriage. Now, Jennifer Lehr is on a mission to create a world filled with connection instead of conflict. She specializes in educating couples on the relationship skills they need to build a solid, connected and loving partnership. As a marriage and family therapist for nearly 20 years, she uses her knowledge and advanced training in many couples' modalities to help others succeed in their marriage.

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.

CONNECT WITH JENNIFER:

WEBSITE: https://www.weconcile.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/WeConcile/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsd-X1BvZv4l4jKkWQmsZ7Q

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/weconcile/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/weconcile/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/we_info/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#attachementtheory #attachmentstyles #healingattachment #healingafteratoxicrerlationship #healingafteranarcissist #learningtorelate #intimacyinrelationship #improvingrelationship #knowyourattachmentstyle

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Blame Shifting: Counteracting This Crazy-Making Way Narcissists Try To Win

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 06:37:41 GMT

Try these strategies and tactics to change the dynamics in your relationship with a #Hijackal when they try to avoid responsibility or accountability, even--and especially--when they feel threatened by a potential flaw of theirs being mentioned.

You know that everything will be your fault if you're with a narcissist, a Hijackal. The nasty skill of blame-shifting is a sneaky specialty. they hone carefully and practice faithfully.

Infuriating. Frustrating. Unfair. So, how do you respond? It's trickier than you might think, because it is counter-intuitive. You have to engage with the tactics and strategies in this episode for awhile to change your responses to their blame-shifting. You'll increase your self-confidence when you do.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What blame-shifting is, how it sounds and feels coming at you
Why #Hijackals use blame-shifting to hopefully overpower you and gain the "win"
How you can respond so that the #Hijackal does not get the reaction wanted
Understand how Hijackals want to exploit your fears and probe your weaknesses
What NOT to do in the face of blame-shifting
What TO do that will help you stop second-guessing yourself and save your sanity

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#blameshifting #whyamItoblame #frustratedbyanarcissist #blamesmeforeverything #noreaction #staycalmandobserve

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Successful Consultant Shares Her Story and Steps To Recovery From Toxic Relationships GUEST: Christie Lawler

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 18:52:39 GMT

An inspiring story of recovery and success after abuse in a toxic relationship! You'll be motivated by what my guest, Christie Lawler, shares. What she walked through, and went on to create is uplifting and positive. Just what you need to hear today? Probably!

Christie Lawler is a successful consultant in what she calls the "eatertainment space." Very clever! She has thrived, but she walked through a lot of pain, second-guessing, and wondering. Being in a toxic relationship is confusing, and it has an aftermath, for sure!

Christie shares how she recovered, and why it took a long time. (That's common, and usually necessary when it's done well.) Learn from her story because, as you will hear, she didn't focus on healing as her first step. Many folks don't. But, not dealing with abuse in toxic relationships is unwise. You need to get help to heal, and Christie did.

Be inspired by her candid story, and what she has gone on to achieve.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Christie shares her story of recovery and success after a toxic relationship
Sexual assault in the workplace
Getting clear that being abused is not your fault
Why it takes a long time to recover, so be gentle with yourself
How working with an experienced therapist is an important part of recovery
How Christie thrives in her consulting work in what she calls the "eatertainment space"

GUEST: CHRISTIE LAWLER

Christie is the founder and owner of her own marketing agency, CJL CONSULTiNG as well as the founder of her company's non-profit arm, The WITI Group. She is the host of the Lawler Out Loud: Mixing up the Mainstream podcast, The WITI Conference, creator of WITI on the Web educational webinar series and is publishing her first book.

Christie founded CJL CONSULTiNG in 2009 while completing her MBA as a way to stay engaged in her career while completing her studies. As Founder & Owner of CJL CONSULTiNG, Christie supports clients by creating beverage marketing and training programs for the likes of Alamo Drafthouse, American Social, Arcis Golf, Drive Shack and Flagship Restaurant Group. Christie is also the host of Lawler Out Loud: Mixing up the Mainstream – a weekly podcast featuring trendsetters and newsmakers around the hospitality industry.

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.

CONNECT WITH CHRISTIE:

WEBSITE: https://www.cjlconsults.com

PODCAST: Lawler Out Loud: Mixing up the Mainstream https://open.spotify.com/show/3jJW0KeVrsT0whrozeOilL

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/cjlconsulting

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/cjl_consulting_llc/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christie-j-lawler/

TWITTER:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#healingafteratoxicrerlationship #healingafteranarcissist #takesawhiletoheal #itsnotyourfault #narcissisticblaming #believingitsnotmyfault #hijackalblame #femaleentrepreneur #livingwithpurpose #lovewhatyoudo #makeanimpact #empowerothers

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Am I In A Toxic Relationship With A Hijackal? Beware, Hijackals Are Crafty!

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 05:36:33 GMT

Yes, it's important to recognize the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors of the relentlessly difficult people I call #Hijackals®.

In this episode, another important feature: what kinds of things you FEEL when you're with a Hijackal. That's so important to take note of because almost all those feelings are not good ones, right?

Toxicity is poisonous! In fact, that is part of the very definition of the word, toxicity.

If you're busy rationalizing, justifying, or making excuses for the bad behavior of another person, you may not notice the huge toll it is taking on your own life. Not good!

Take these in and compare them to how you're feeling. Eye-opening!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you can being emotionally poisoned without noticing
How the toxicity spreads into unknown corners of your life
The subtle effects of life with a #Hijackal
How #Hijackals change you to focus on them without realizing their effect on you
Hijackals are crafty: they are clever at achieving their aims by indirect and deceitful methods

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#toxicrelationshipspoisonyou #narcissistsareharmful #poisonousnarcissists #narcissistsaredeceitful #hownarcissistshurtyou #thinkaboutyourself #craftynarcissists #craftyhijackals #howhijackalsmakeyoufeel #howifeelaroundanarcissist

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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The Fastest Ways to Counteract Parental Alienation GUEST: Joseph Goldberg

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 03:48:07 GMT

When you realized your divorce was going to be difficult, I'll bet you worried about your ex talking badly about you to the children, trying to win them over. Did you?

Did you worry about the children being lied to about you?

Did you ex tell the children s/he was the better parent, the one who gave them more, etc.?

This leads to Parental Alienation.

Here's part of the definition of Parental Alienation Syndrome from the American Psychological Association:

" ...a child's experience of being manipulated by one parent to turn against the other (targeted) parent and resist contact with him or her. The alignment with one parent and rejection of the other most often arises during child custody disputes following divorce or separation proceedings, particularly when the litigation is prolonged or involves significant antagonism between the parties."

It's a significant concern when you are separating or divorcing from a #Hijackal, a relentlessly difficult, toxic person.

Joe Goldberg offers invaluable insights into parental alienation that you need to see clearly. Listen in.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Joe expands on the definition of Parental Alienation
Why some people say Parental Alienation doesn't exist
Who is most likely to engage in parental alienation
What you can do to thwart attempts at parental alienation
What legal recourse you have for parental alienation
How to minimize stress for the child
How to counteract effects of existing parental alienation

GUEST: JOSEPH GOLDBERG

Joseph Goldberg founded ParentalAlienationEducation.com as an educational site for sharing information about parent-child relational problems that arise in divorce situations.

A recognized expert in parental alienation, Mr. Goldberg was the first educator in the United States to co-author and revise divorce education programs to include curriculum content in parent-child relational problems, specifically in parental alienation, realistic estrangement, and enmeshment. These divorce education programs are accredited by the courts in more than 500 counties across the U.S. Parents may access these programs online and receive a Certificate of Attendance at www.OnlineParentingPrograms.com

Mr. Goldberg is a member of the prestigious Parental Alienation Study Group, which is led by Dr. William Bernet, and he is the author of a continuing educational course, “Diagnostic Criteria for Clinical Practitioners in the Treatment of Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome,” approved by the American Psychological Association for 18 CECs.

GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.

CONNECT WITH JOSEPH:

WEBSITE: https://www.parentalalienation.ca

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK:

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN:

TWITTER:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

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#parentalalienation #preventparentalalienation #stopparentalalienation #partnerbadmouthingyou #partnerliestochildren #spouseliestochildren #manipulationbyoneparent #unfairparenting #unfaircoparenting

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How To Clear Your Thinking To Co-Parent With A Narcissistic Hijackal. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Tue, 20 Oct 2020 04:12:33 GMT

You are barely out of a toxic relationship, and are hoping to grab a breath and clear your head. That's the moment co-parenting calamities start, right?

Then, you're free of the Hijackal, but not free of their self-serving shenanigans.

OK, you need strategies to save your sanity. Listen in and grab them!

Cardinal rule: Don't Poke A Hijackal®! That will always apply, and especially when you are co-parenting. There is nothing good that comes from poking Hijackals. It all comes back on you, doubled...or more. You know that. So, please stick to that rule ALWAYS!

You gain some peace, and give up some control when you leave a Hijackal with your children. Some things you can do something about. Some, you need to let go of.

In this episode, we hit the highlights below! Enjoy.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you need a specific, exact, detailed child custody agreement
What, why, and how to document things once you live apart
What to do when your ex wants to "exchange" custody weekends (Might surprise you!)
How to encourage your children to feel safer with you
How to help children feel empowered when they have little control
Why it is essential for you to monitor healthy, emotionally mature responses

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

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#coparentingwithanarcissist #coparentingwithatoxicex #helpingthechildrenwhencoparenting #childcustodyagreements #neverpokeahijackal #

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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What Highly-Sensitive People Need to Know to Escape the Trap of Emotional Abuse GUEST: Debbie Lynn Grace

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 04:13:13 GMT

Do you know if you are actually a highly-sensitive person? That's MUCH more than easily having your feelings hurt.

You will be VERY attractive to a person who wants to control you, and that's a devastating combination.

My guest, Debbie Lynn Grace, is an expert who can help you understand the many ways highly-sensitive people are affected by their environment, life, and relationships. We take it further to give you the life-saving insights you need to recognize why you are attractive to #Hijackals--those relentless difficult, toxic people--and why you attract them. Best of all, we talk about WHAT TO DO!

Any chance you would qualify as an "over-giver?" That's exhausting. In this episode, you'll hear the why's and how's to shift to a more balanced view, an empowered stance, and the willingness to take action to save your sanity!

This episode can be the catalyst for changing your life if you are highly-sensitive...and, very insightful even if you're not!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How to know if you are a highly-sensitive person
The energetic difference between a highly-sensitive person and one who is not
How the approach to life is different for a highly-sensitive person
3 traits a highly-sensitive person has that makes them susceptible to attracting an emotional abuser
What it takes for a highly-sensitive person to stand in their power
What a highly-sensitive person can do to make sure they attract a healthy love relationship
Tips for handling a toxic relationship

GUEST: DEBBIE LYNN GRACE

Debbie Lynn Grace is a transformational leader, 35 year marketing and business growth expert, author and an international speaker. She is also a gifted energy worker, empath and intuitive. Debbie’s clients include global leaders, influential and high achieving professionals, purpose driven entrepreneurs and people who are ready to step into their own authentic power to take their life to the next level. She shows you how to live in the highest vibration of your authentic power so your work and life are purpose filled and aligned on your soul journey with ease and flow.

"The time you take trying to cover yourself up because you feel ashamed, judged, or unsafe takes away precious moments of your life where you could be discovering more about the brilliance of who you really are and the power you possess." Debbie Lynn Grace

GIFT FOR YOU:

7 Easy Tips To Quickly Get Into A State Of Flow Free E-book + Special Bonus Guided Meditation Audio. $47 Value

https://debbielynngrace.com/seven/

CONNECT WITH DEBBIE

WEBSITE: https://debbielynngrace.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Debbielynngrace

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/debbielynngrace/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbielynngrace

TWITTER:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#highlysensitive #highlysensitivepeople #sensitivetoenergy #overwhelmed #debbielynngrace #energyworker #highlysensitiveperson

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7 Ways Emotional Abuse Robs You Of Your Peace & Potential

Tue, 13 Oct 2020 03:57:01 GMT

Emotional abuse is sneaky. At first, it sometimes seems like a request that's a bit off, but you feel a compromise is in order. After awhile, everything is a bit off, and you're beginning to lose yourself, your confidence....and, your mind.

These 7 Ways I'm talking about today will quickly deplete you, and why you need to recognize them for the lethal robbers they are.

Trauma-bonding is an important concept to understand. In the first few minutes of this episode, I define and underline the various ways that #traumabonding shows it's difficult stripes. Understanding this will help you recognize what draws you back to staying with someone who you know is abusive and emotionally draining.

See below for other highlights of this insightful, necessary-to-understand episode.

Stay safe, healthy...and, playing on your own team!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What emotional abuse does to shatter your self-esteem
How your self-confidence is weakened
Dealing with chronic stress and anxiety
What depression can be a sign of in an abusive relationship
The effects of not feeling safe
Dealing with chronic hypervigilance

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#traumabonding #emotionalabusers #recognizingemotionalabuse #ifeelemotionallyabused #amibeingemotionallyabused #saynotoabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Divorce Consultant Shares Tips On Using An Attorney vs. Representing Yourself GUEST: Jason Levoy

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 03:25:52 GMT

Divorcing a Hijackal? A Narcissist? A relentlessly difficult person? You may be wondering how to find an attorney that you can afford and who will be able to withstand the nastiness of all there will be to deal with.

In this episode, Jason Levoy, The Divorce Resource Guy, a former divorce attorney, shares invaluable tips for:

Where to start?
How to interview an attorney
What you need to be ready for
How to proceed if you don't have much money
Advice for representing yourself
Creating effective documentation

If you're thinking of divorce, listen in....for sure!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Inside insights from a former divorce attorney on choosing an attorney
Is it wise to represent yourself? Why? Why not?
Starting the process of finding an attorney
What kind of documentation to prepare
Does cheating matter when you're trying to get a divorce?
Questions to ask a prospective divorce attorney

GUEST: JASON LEVOY

Jason became a divorce attorney specifically to help families going through these difficult times.

After practicing family law in New Jersey for a number of years, he noticed how many of you, with and without attorneys, are overwhelmed and are looking for help.

Jason coaches people who have attorneys and those who are representing themselves. A divorce coach is an important part of your divorce team. You do have a team, right???

If you don’t, Jason can help. Forming the right team is the first step to putting yourself in position to succeed and be empowered.

You can waste hours and hours searching for answers online. Is that how you want to spend your free time? Can you trust everything you read online? NO!

Contact Jason today and get the help you deserve, for a fraction of the cost of an attorney.

GIFT FOR YOU:

Tips for Co-Parenting (downloadable): http://jasonlevoy.com/dr.shaler

CONNECT WITH JASON

WEBSITE: https://jasonlevoy.com

PODCAST: www.jasonlevoy.com/podcast

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/yourdivorceresource/

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonlevoy/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/jasonlevoy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#choosinganattorney #jasonlevoy #divorceadvice #findinganattorney #interviewinganattorney #questionstoaskanattorney

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Love-Bombing Is Emotional Intoxication: How To Become Immune To It

Tue, 06 Oct 2020 04:43:30 GMT

When a #Hijackal love-bombs you, it's what you've waited for, hoped for, and finally think is proving that their love is real. It's a sham. It comes from their fear of being without readily available supply to provide validation, adoration, and someone to control Awful, but true! You don't want to play this game any longer, right?

You need insights and strategies to remember why you are no longer going to "buy" the love-bombing, even though you may really, really want to. You know it only leads to disappointment, so today I'm giving you six ways and a couple of suggestions for becoming immune to love-bombing, to listen and remember that love-bombing is all manipulation.

I hope this helps you resist the urge to merge the next time a #Hijackal wants to woo you back with the weapon of love-bombing.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How love-bombing is manipulation of the heart and mind
The short-lived nature of promises made to change
#Narcissistic reasons for love-bombing
Why you may be tempted to believe the love-bombing
How to be immune to love-bombing
Why love-bombing is psychological partner abuse

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#lovebombing #emotionalintoxication #psychologicalpartnerabuse #lovebombingismanipulation #falsehopeofchange #immunetolovebombing

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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How To Get Emotional Toxicity Out Of Your Body. Guest: Dr. Heather Herington

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 04:05:11 GMT

Many times, people fail to realize the impact of their emotional health on their physical health. They are more likely to recognize the impact of physical health on emotional health. That's often because we don't give full attention and value to our "invisible wounds."

Emotional toxicity--living with abuse, childhood trauma, chronic stress and anxiety--directly affects your physical health. Yes, it may do so slowly and it creeps up on you, but it's happening all the same.

Dr. Heather Herington says, "C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) is adult AIDS." Intriguing idea! We talk about this in some depth in this episode regarding inflammation, the brain, stress, and the workings of the body.

Dr. Heather and I share stories of toxic relationships and how they shaped our lives. See how that matches with what you've experienced. It could be similar...and we share the stories of our healing, too.

This could be a VERY important episode that could start you on an insightful healing path. I hope so.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The impact of trauma emotionally and physically
The value of combining healing modalities
How emotional toxicity stays in the body until purposefully removed
How mental health, emotional health, and physical health intersect
Why we are sometimes unaware of, or reluctant to, attend to our invisible wounds
How your childhood informs a toxic relationship
Caring for invisible wounds

GUEST: DR. HEATHER HERINGTON

Dr Heather Herington has been a naturopathic physician since 1987. Early in her practice the Archdiocese requested treatment for a woman sexually abused by a priest who wanted drugless therapy. She held retreats on an island and developed her two-pronged approach - balance the biochemistry naturally and tell (or revise) the story through the expressive arts. An engaging speaker and astute workshop leader, she also writes essays, novels, librettos, and creates radio plays based on challenging health conditions that demand a true body-mind investigation. Her radio play, Dr Graves, We Healed Your Disease came from her own experience.

Dr. Herington is the author of the new book, Surviving A Viral Pandemic: Through The Lens Of A Naturopathic Medical Doctor. Available at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Viral-Pandemic-Through-Naturopathic/dp/1735630802/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=herington+surviving+a+viral+pandemic&qid=1601611420&sr=8-1

GIFT FOR YOU:

A technique using the five senses to track feelings to better understand their source.

https://drheatherherington.com

CONNECT WITH HEATHER

WEBSITE: https:/drheatherherington.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/drheatherherington

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/heatherherington

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin/drheatherherington

TWITTER: https://www.twitter/drheather2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-have-today-with-diane-forster/id1440222759

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionaltoxicity #emotionalphysicalhealth #toxicemotions #effectsoftoxicemotions #effectsofchildhoodtrauma #healingphysicalhealth #drheatherherington #survivingaviralpandemic

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Oops! Are You Enabling A Narcissist? Steps to Stopping

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 04:28:55 GMT

Because you are good, kind, compassionate, or pleasing person, you may not realize the ways in which you are enabling a narcissist to continue behaving badly. You know that you cannot stop their behavior, but you can take positive steps to stop enabling their behavior, and take your own power back. Listen in for the how-tos!

In any ways are you too often rationalizing, justifying, or making excuses for the controlling and manipulative behaviors of a #Hijackal, a #narcissist? Recognizing that is an excellent starting point!

According to the Oxford dictionary, an enabler is a "person who makes something possible, who encourages or enables negative or self-destructive behavior in another." In all honesty, do you do that? Is it just easier than fighting with them, or being perceived as finding fault. I understand that, for sure.

Are you ready to take the first steps to stop enabling a relentlessly difficult person who simply wants to win, and tread on you? I hope so. You'll find encouragement in this episode.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What it is to be an enabler
Why you might be an enabler
The problems with rationalizing, justifying, and making excuses for poor behavior
Why enabling hurts everyone
Ways in which you might be enabling that you may not think of in that way
9 steps to stopping, to withdrawing from enabling

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#enabling #beinganenabler #stopenablingbadbehavior #enablinganarcissist #enablingaHijackal #setboundaries #selfreflection #

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Embracing Intentional Living By Clearing Mindset Blocks & Limiting Beliefs GUEST: Diane Forster

Sat, 26 Sep 2020 00:55:57 GMT

Do you own your own power? If you've been worn down, torn down, or put down in a toxic relationship, that might not be how you feel right now. Make it a goal, and listen in to today to hear new insights on shifting away from limiting beliefs and untrue thoughts about yourself.

My guest, Diane Forster says, "Sometimes you need to take a step back so you can shift forward." In this episode, we explore the shifts possible to move from negativity to a more positive state of mind, from toxicity to healthier ways of being.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Diane Forster means by "intentional living"
Why Intentional Living is even more important in our world now than ever
What it means to "own your power"
Dealing with uncertainty
Breaking goals into small steps and intentions
Shifting negative emotions to more positive states of mind

GUEST: DIANE FORSTER

DIANE FORSTER is an Award-Winning Inventor, Best Selling Author, TEDx Speaker, TV Host, Podcaster, Intentional Living Expert and Re-Invention Specialist. She works with clients privately and helps you clear away mindset blocks and limiting beliefs that can block you from reaching your full potential in business, life and relationships.

Diane is the CEO and Founder of I HAVE TODAY. She is the best-selling author of “I HAVE TODAY: Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile...Finally!” and “Reach Your Greatness...Top Thought-Leaders Share Their Secrets for Living an Extraordinary Life!” Her TV Show along her Podcast, “I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster” and all her other products/programs help people live enriched, empowered, inspiring lives through their transitions, to reinvent themselves.

Diane’s career began in advertising and TV sales, including DISNEY/ABC. She is also the inventor of The SPIFTER, a fun kitchen tool that won an INNOVATION AWARD at the International Housewares Show in Chicago. Diane has been featured on ABC, QVC, The Chicago Tribune, San Diego Voyager, Business News Daily and many other TV, Radio and Podcast shows. She has written articles for Inventor’s Digest Magazine and writes an inspiring weekly blog.

Diane is a mother of twins and lives in San Diego. Her mission is to see that 1 BILLION people who don’t know their self-worth discover their true divinity, power and purpose.

GIFT FOR YOU:

Money Mantra Meditation: https://www.dianeforster.com/moneymantra

CONNECT WITH DIANE FORSTER

WEBSITE: https:/dianeforster.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/ihavetodaywithdianeforster

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/c/IHaveTodaywithDianeForster?sub_confirmation=1

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/dianeforsterofficial

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianeforsterofficial

TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/dforsterofficial

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#ihavetoday #dianeforster #dianeforsterofficial #mindsetcoach #lifecoachforwomen #womenmotivationalspeak #clearinglimitingbeliefs #limitingbeliefs #motivatingmindset #intentionalthinking

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How Living With Or Being Raised By A Narcissist Actually Traumatizes You

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 06:54:04 GMT

Never underestimate the effect of having a narcissistic parent or partner! Resist the urge to downplay the verbal and emotional abuse. You're not supposed to be abused...by anyone!!! Today, I'm sharing some ways to recognize your own trauma, so you can take steps away from it...whether you leave or not.

Shahida Arabi, talking about childhood abuse and trauma, wrote in her article, What It's Like To Be A Complex Trauma Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse:

"Survivors carry a sense of toxic shame, helplessness, and a feeling of separateness from others, of being different and defective due to trauma."

If you have experienced childhood abuse and/or trauma, you are more likely to attract a potentially abusive partner. Sad news, I know. And, at some deeper levels, you may be "comfortably uncomfortable" with it, at least for a while.

It's important to recognize your own trauma, and then to work it through so that you are no longer operating from it subconsciously. Today's episode will definitely help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How trauma interferes with your brain, learning, decision-making, and memory
Why you don't associate current issues with past trauma
What trauma bonds are and how they keep you trapped
Signs of past trauma
Recognizing trauma for what it is
Understanding the impact of trauma now and from the past

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistictrauma #emotionaltrauma #relationshiptrauma #raisedbyanarcissist #tramatizedbymymother #familytrauma

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Never Good Enough?

Tue, 15 Sep 2020 03:08:21 GMT

Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people, have both a need and a want to make you always feel not good enough. Understand why and learn to respond in empowering ways, and that's a very good start!

Nothing you do, say, or are will ever be good enough...unless they want something from you. Then, they love-bomb you, and the person you fell in love with returns--for a hot minute! You know I've said many times in these episodes that the person you fell in love with was the Love-bomber. The person you are having problems with is the real person. Sad, but true!

So, don't be listening another minute to a #Hijackal telling you that you don't measure up. Don't let a Hijackal put your down, wear you down, or tear you down for another second. Today, I'm laying out why they behave as they do so that you can clearly recognize it.

Then, SEVEN things you can quietly do to start pulling yourself up, no matter how hard the Hijackal wants to push you down!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why #Hijackals have unrealistic expectation
How & Why narcissists and others will never allow you to feel good enough
The abject entitlement of toxic people with traits like narcissists, sociopaths, and other Hijackals
Why not and how not to lose yourself in a narcissist's expectations
The pairs of opposites you'll face when you're with a Hijackal
SEVEN ways you can pull yourself up again when a toxic person has pushed you down
How to take back your power

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#nevergoodenough #putyourselfdown #narcissistputsyoudown #pickyourselfup #healingafteranarcissist #healingafterahijackal #whenpeopleputmedown #whyifeelputdown #whatcanidotopickmyselfup #narcissistputdowns

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Navigating The Process of Uncoupling With Less Downtime GUEST: Tonya Carter

Thu, 10 Sep 2020 22:44:17 GMT

When you've been hurt, it's natural to want to get the hurt out by telling your story. There's a point, though, when that needs to be replaced by your new life story. Tonya Carter has walked through the hurt, reconstructed her story, and helps others see the value and walk through it, too. Powerful step!

Author of Divorce Your Story, Tonya Carter wrote:

"Once we understand that the only person we have full control over is ourselves, then life becomes simple."

Listening to this conversation with Tonya can help you see the path to recovering from the pain of the story into another empowering stage and story. Letting go of your story opens you to new views, perspectives, and possibilities that you may not have considered. Get those insights now.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Hear Tonya Carter's story of leaving a toxic relationship
What she means by "divorce your story"
Is shame and guilt always present in divorces?
Why its important to stop wanting to fix your partner
How to leave struggle behind
Why it's important to reconsider your life and see endless possibilities

GUEST: TONYA CARTER

Tonya Carter is a relationship coach that specializes in helping women navigate through the process of uncoupling by providing support, advice, resources and tools that will help mitigate interruptions in their business, work performance and household obligations.

She has a book titled “Divorce Your Story: A Woman’s Guide to Heal & Thrive after Divorce”, a podcast “The ReInvent U Podcast” and facilitates a “12 week T.H.R.I.V.E Course” that walks women through the process of overcoming divorce and healing.

She’s resides in Atlanta with her two children.

GIFT FOR YOU:

7 Core Affirmations Guide https://mailchi.mp/decc3e18aae7/affirmationguide

CONNECT WITH TONYA CARTER:

WEBSITE: https://tonyacarter.com

PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/tonyacarter

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/mstonyaspeak s

YOUTUBE: https://bit.lyu/2t7ZtBj

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mstonyaspeaks

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mstonyacarter

TWITTER:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#relivingyourstory #givingupyourstory #stopretellingyourstory #divorcecoach #divorcecourt #divorcedmom #lifeafterdivorce #divorcerecovery

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How To Love Your Children MORE Than You Hate Your Ex And Save Precious Energy GUEST: Dr. Larry Waldman

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 21:14:08 GMT

Divorce is difficult for children, no matter what the reasons or circumstances. When you leave a #Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult person, a narcissistic person, a toxic person--you have so much more to consider. #Hijackals like to keep you in court, give you as little as possible, and want to take as much as possible. You know that.

So, how can you focus on the children while balancing all that you have to also attend to? Today's episode with Dr. Larry Waldman will help with that. Kids get in the "loyalty squeeze" between divorcing parents. It's tough. They want both of you, even if one of you treats them badly. Get this expert's insights and advice.

Need my help to walk through the muddle? Start here. BeAClient.com

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why Dr. Waldman believes divorce is prevalent
What second marriages are likely to fail
Triggering abandonment in children
What children learn when parents divorce
How to reduce trauma for a child of divorce
Why you need to return your attention to the children rather than letting your ex drain all the air out of you

GUEST: DR. LARRY WALDMAN

Dr. Waldman is a recently semi-retired certified school psychologist and licensed clinical, forensic psychologist in Phoenix, Arizona. He conducted a highly successful private practice of 45 years working with children, teens, parents, couples, and adults in a solution-focused manner. He also consulted with family, personal injury, immigration and estate planning attorneys. His BS in Education/Psychology was from the University of Wisconsin; his MS in School Psychology was from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee; his Ph.D. in Educational/School Psychology was earned at Arizona State University; and his Diplomate (ABPP) was received in 2003.

Waldman was the past president of the Maricopa Psychological Society, the Director of Psychological Services for Charter Psychiatric Hospital of Glendale and was an “Official Guide” (top expert) on Parenting for SelfGrowth.com. He continues as a Medical Consultant for the Social Security Office in Phoenix, an adjunct graduate professor in the Counseling Department for the University of Phoenix, and serves on the professional advisory board of Stepping Stones of Hope, a charitable organization serving children whom have lost a parent. Waldman is the co-chair of the Early Career Psychologists Committee with the Arizona Psychological Association (AzPA). He is also certified by the American Council on Exercise (ACE) as a (senior) fitness specialist.

Dr. Waldman trained as a public speaker. His signature presentations are: The Business of Private Practice—The Graduate Course You Never Had and Teaching Parents to Parent. He has made over 150 paid presentations in his career to attorneys, chiropractors, psychologists, family therapists, counselors, social workers, school psychologists and school counselors. To the community Waldman speaks on parenting, marriage, stress, depression and anxiety, wellness, grand parenting and psychotherapy. His seminars are organized, practical and entertaining—offering “edutainment.”

GIFT FOR YOU:

CONNECT WITH DR. LARRY WALDMAN:

WEBSITE: https://topphoenixpsychologist.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/larrywaldmanphd

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larrywaldmanphd

TWITTER:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

www.excellentdecisions.com/joy

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#exhaustingex #narcissisticex #leavinganarcissist #leavingahijackal #focusonthekids #divorcinganarcissist #goingtocourtwithanarcissist

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Pouting Narcissistic Partners

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 03:34:05 GMT

SO annoying! You want to be in relationship with a grown-up and the petulant child keeps showing up instead. Today, I'm diving into what's behind their self-centered world views and warped emotional growth patterns. Better yet, I'll share at least 6 things you can take action on to empower yourself!

#Hijackals®, my term for the relentlessly difficult people who hijack relationships for their own purposes and then scavenge them for power, status, and control, confuse their desire for something with their right to take it. Have you experienced that?

#Hijackals primary need is to win in all circumstance, with all people, about everything. They'll even do that with their children! Sad. Nasty!

These difficult people do not like to be told "No" in any form, or in any form approximating "no," either. They are "partial adults" who quickly descend into being petulant children.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How Hijackals get stuck emotionally
What "partial adults" don't like to do....think: work, pay bills, stop playing video games, be inconvenienced, etc.
The effects of never learning to collaborate or cooperate
Just a petulant child behavior, or are they anti-social? Oops!
How partial adults are passive-aggressive
SIX, yes 6, most important first steps to consider before handling #Hijackal petulance and childish rages

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#petulantpartners #manchild #womanchild #narcissistbehavinglikeachild #narcissistdemands #narcissisttrantrum #handlinghijackals #childishtantrumsofadults #adultswhorage #adultswhohavetantrums

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Overcoming Decision Fatigue To Escape Toxic Relationships GUEST: Robert MacPhee

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 19:35:51 GMT

Ever feel too tired to even try to think your way out of a paper bag?

Then, you may see thinking your way out of a toxic relationship as insurmontable on your worst days.

Today, my guest, Robert MacPhee, and I will help you find the energy, courage, and skills to step out of mental exhaustion as well as emotional exhaustion. When you can count on your improved decision-making strategies, you're more likely to feel more confident in your decisions. Listen and use these new insights and tactics to lift yourself up, and make better decisions in favor of yourself and your children.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why it's important to focus on the decision-making process
What "decision fatigue" is and how it may work against you
How you can get stuck in a comfortably uncomfortable spot and why you need to move
How making excellent decisions impacts relationships
How improving decision-making can help you escape a toxic relationship
How not to have regrets after making a decision

GUEST: ROBERT MACPHEE

Robert MacPhee is a leadership coach and consultant. He is the former Director of Training for Jack Canfield, (Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Success Principles), a Founding Member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a Co-Founder of the Southern California Association of Transformational Leaders, the author of the “Manifesting for Non-Gurus” book and partner journal and the creator of the Excellent Decisions approach to effective leadership.

Robert teaches people how to thrive, achieve at a very high level and be truly happy,by making decisions and taking actions driven by their vision and values rather than all of the stress and pressure we are faced with in today’s world.

Ancient Greek Definition of Happiness: “The experience of joy while in pursuit of your potential.”

GIFT FOR YOU: Video explaining how change works and why people experience resistance even when they are pursuing a goal that they KNOW is good for them.

CONNECT WITH ROBERT MACPHEE

WEBSITE: www.ExcellentDecisions.com

PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/excellent-decisions/id1439129373

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/excellentdecisions/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh-4yWBXQAwOPTWP8NYuWuA?view_as=subscriber

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN:https://www.linkedin.com/in/macpheerobert/

TWITTER:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#excellentdecisions #leavinganarcissist #leavingnarcissists #robertmacphee #excellentdecisionmaking #decisionfatigue #overcomingdecisionfatigue #whywewontdecidetoleave #decidingtoleaveanarcissist #makebetterdecisions #confidentdecisionmaking

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Crazy-Making Ambient Abuse: How to Put Your Finger On It & Call It What It is

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 03:46:05 GMT

You never feel safe. You're always wondering when you'll be the victim of something sneaky, nasty, or blatantly wrong. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but it's impacting your health, self-esteem, self-confidence, and the lives of your children. It may well be ambient abuse.

Good people--people with empathy and good hearts--are most likely to be preyed on my emotional vampires, emotional terrorists. Those are other names for #Hijackals. Of course, Hijackals® is my term for the relentlessly difficult, toxic people who hijack relationships for their own purposes, and scavenge them for power, status, and control. Unless you are a mental health professional, you cannot diagnose someone with a personality disorder. But, you sure can talk about the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors of Hijackals, right?

Learn these ten ways to recognize ambient abuse, and take note of it. It's real. It's happening. And, if it's happening at your house, you want to see it clearly, and make good decisions as to what your next best steps are. Start with the ideas in this episode!

Want to talk with me? New clients can use this one-time, one-hour offer at BeAClient.com

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is meant by "ambient abuse"
Why it's so difficult to recognize ambient abuse
How both covert narcissists and overt narcissists use ambient abuse
Crazy-making aspects of emotional abuse, ambient abuse
10 clear ways to recognize ambient abuse
Once you see it, you can track it...and recognize how real it is
Empowering changes you can make to take back your power in the face of abuse

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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#ambientabuse #whatisambientabuse #recognizeambientabuse #ambientabuseislikefog #getclearaboutabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Facial Coding Expert Share Clues For Seeing Red Flags Early & Knowing When To Run Later GUEST: Dr. Dan Hill

Thu, 20 Aug 2020 02:13:48 GMT

I loved the TV series, Lie To Me. I watched the whole series three times. Why? Because it is fascinating to see what can be determined from the face with no words required! You likely see things in the relentlessly difficult person's face that you respond to. You may not recognize this, but you do.

Facial coding is Dr. Dan Hill's specialty, and he's published about it extensively. He's the expert, and you'll learn so much from this interview...even if you've never know about #microexpressions before!

#Hijackals have a recognizable smirk. I call it the #HijackalSmirk because it is a telltale sign. You've seen it. You know it. I asked Dr. Hill to explain this and you'll be very interested in to learn what's really going on within the #narcissist or other #Hijackal at that time.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What are microexpressions?
How they register in our brains
When a smile is not really a smile at all
9 ways anger can show on a person's face
How contempt is distinct from anger and disdain
How observing microexpressions can keep you safer

GUEST: DR. DAN HILL

Dan Hill, Ph.D., is the founder and president of Sensory Logic, Inc, which pioneered the use of facial coding in business in order to capture and quantify emotional dynamics. The company has done work for over 50% of the world's top 100 B2C companies and has seven U.S. patents related to facial coding scoring techniques. Dan is the author of eight books, including Emotionomics, featuring a foreword by Sam Simon, co-creator of The Simpsons; and Famous Faces Decoded: A Guidebook for Reading Others.

GIFT FOR YOU: Dan has no gift at this time. Do visit his website.

CONNECT WITH DR. DAN HILL

WEBSITE: https://www.danhill.sensorylogic.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Emotionswizard/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC96dVh4EoIHj_0tZrBEtXtg

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-hill-emotionswizard/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/emotionswizard

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

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https://www.maneelyconsulting.com/dear-parents

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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#facialcoding #drdanhill #lietome #lookofcontempt #recognizingfacialcues #emotionomics #famousfacesdecoded #facereading #facialexpressionsofcontempt #hijackalcontempt #recognizinghateinaface

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How to Recognize Covert Narcissists: The Passive, Sad, Emotionally Neglectful "Victims"

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 03:18:09 GMT

It's SO "sticky" to be with a covert narcissist, a #Hijackal! By "sticky" I mean that you think they're doing something but you're not sure. You hate what they're doing but you can't quite put your finger on it. You don't feel safe around them but they play on your empathy and you end up reassuring them. Sound familiar?

You may be with a covert narcissist! By now, if you've been listening to my podcast, you know that I don't advocate being an amateur psychologist and diagnosing someone. So, let's call them Covert Hijackals! Same sneaky, play-on-your-heartstrings (and your last nerve) stuff! Very sticky!

Today I'm giving you SO many clues to help you identify what's really going on in your relationship. Unpack the truth, and get on your own team. You're being played by someone who is appealing to the very best qualities in you. Very confusing! I can help. BeAClient.com

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

the differences between overt narcissists and cover narcissists
why you might second-guess yourself for a long time when dealing with a covert #Hijackal
how covert narcissists manipulate you in different ways than overt, arrogant, cock #Hijackals
noticing how covert narcissists pretend to be a victim of your behavior
what's up with the passive-aggressive procrastination
definite things to do first once you realize you're dealing with a #covertnarcissist

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#covertnarcissists #recognizingacovertnarcissist #coverthijackals #whatisacovertnarcissist #amiwithacovertnarcissist #amiwithanarcissist #sneakypeople #emotionalneglect #crazymakingbehavior #secondguessingmyself

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Strategies To Help Your Loved One Going Through Addiction GUEST: Jennifer Maneely

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 21:10:45 GMT

Heart-wrenching, heart-warming story of how my guest, Jennifer Maneely, found her way back from addiction to success in every way, on every level! Be inspired by her story, and her willingness to share her journey.

You may have an addicted family member, and you so want to help. Learn what is actually helpful. Also, though, learn what may be well-meaning, but is actually unhelpful and alienating! Who knew? But hearing it from someone who can tell you how the addicted person hears your well-meaning--though perhaps misguided--words can be eye-opening. That's what this conversation will do!

And, share it with folks who are addicted and who have addicted family members, too. That could be just what could make all the difference and create a breakthrough for them!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Jennifer's story of being lost in addiction
How Jennifer found her way back to sobriety
What family can do that's helpful to an addicted family member
What families unwittingly do, thinking it helps an addicted person
How Jennifer Maneely's learning to set boundaries helped end addiction
Other ways to deal with the pain, shame, and guilt that leads to depression and addiction

GUEST: JENNIFER MANEELY

Jennifer Maneely is the founder of Maneely Consulting, Inc. a coaching firm with families who have loved ones in addiction or trauma related substance abuse. She works with the families to help them develop strategies and coach them on setting effective, supportive, and loving boundaries so that their loved ones can get the help they need, and the families don't go down with them.

Her work is informed by her own gut-wrenching journey through addiction. She knows what it takes for someone to become willing to get the help they need. Going through this journey with her own family, she recognizes the need for the families to get support too.

JENNIFER MANEELY'S GIFT FOR YOU:

ebook: Dear Parents: Strategies To Help Your Loved One Through Addiction

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: JENNIFER MANEELY

WEBSITE: https://www.ManeelyConsulting.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/jenniferyouarenotalone

YOUTUBE: https://bit.ly/jenschannel

INSTAGRAM:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-maneely-07183565

TWITTER:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

https://deborah-miller.myshopify.com/products/love-eft-tapping-guide

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#goingthroughaddiction #jennifermaneely #addicted #whatsitliketobeaddicted #overcomingaddiction #helpingfamiliescopewithaddiction

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Hard-Headed Narcissists: One BIG Must-Know (Little-Known) Reason Why Narcissistic Hijackals Refuse To Change

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 06:41:56 GMT

Ever wonder why it feels like you're hitting your head against a titanium wall when you try to make a #narcissist see your point?

Or, wonder why a #narcissistic #Hijackal does not understand the concept of constructive criticism?

It will all be much clearer when you listen to this episode, I promise!

When I say that this is a little-known reason that you must know, I mean it! Understand these mindset differences may be the final piece you need to accept the futility of arguing with, reasoning with, or making constructive requests of a #narcissist. At least, things may get significantly clearer when you think of them this way.

I hope so.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why #narcissists cannot see your point
Why #narcissists refuse to accept criticism
Two opposing mindsets in one relationship that cannot make it work
Why a fixed mindset keeps #Hijackals stuck
Why you cannot change the mind of a #narcissist
Understanding these two points of view will clarify why #Hijackal relationships are so difficult
How knowing this can help you clarify your best next steps in a toxic relationship

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistichijackals #narcissistsdontchange #whynarcissistsdontchange #fixedmindset #growthmindset #caroldweck #whyanarcissistwontchange #stoparguingwithnarcissists #youcantwinwithanarcissist

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Shifting Old Emotional Patterns With Tapping, Emotional Freedom Technique GUEST: Deborah Miller

Thu, 30 Jul 2020 23:28:20 GMT

Sometimes, you might not recognize that old patterns are running in current feelings and experiences. That's a great moment of realization because, starting then, life can consciously change. That's powerful!

Learning about Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as Tapping, gives you back some power to calm anxiety and change patterns. Deborah Miller works with energy through reiki, EMT, and coaching to help people recover. She has worked extensively with children suffering from cancer and their care-givers. Enjoy these new ideas!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Feedback loops that keep old emotional patterns alive
How our experiences reflect our patterns and beliefs
Ways to make changes that empower
Recognizing past traumas
What is Emotional Freedom Technique, aka Tapping
How to avoid blame and shame when looking at your past

GUEST: DEBORAH MILLER

Deborah Miller has a PhD in Cell and Molecular Biology and is a Trainer and expert in EFT Tapping, a Life Transformed CoachTM and internationally-renowned author. She guides people to gently release learned beliefs, habits, and traumas toward healthier choices creating calm, joy, and inner peace. Her unique blend of energy psychology, science, and spirituality enables her to teach easily learned principles providing relief and hope.

Deborah authored “The Dragon with Flames of Love: Helping Children with Serious Illness Improve the Quality of Their Lives,” and co-authored “Emotional First-Aid for Children” helping children prevent challenging events from having traumatic effects.

DEBORAH MILLER'S GIFT FOR YOU:

EFT Tapping Guide to feel the vibration of Love within your body

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: DEBORAH MILLER

WEBSITE: https://www.DeborahMiller.org

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.miller

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ddmiller777

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/Deborahdmiller7/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborah-miller-9403b3/

TWITTER:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#EFT #emotionalfreedomtechnique #deborahmiller #traumaandtapping #tappingtohelp #helpwithtrauma #tappingtostaycalm #replaceoldemotionalpatterns

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Narcissist Fauxpologies: How To Stop Being Hooked Into Believing Hijackals Will Change

Tue, 28 Jul 2020 04:34:51 GMT

Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, or those with any of those tendencies are incapable of sincere apologies. In fact, they are also incapable of apologizing at all!

That's why they can only make a "near apology sounding" few words! Unsatisfying? Yes! Underwhelming? Yes. But, too many people buy into them because there hope is high. Today, I share with you all the things you need to know to squarely face the truth of a #Hijackal apology, and why you are unwise to be buying it!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Definition of a #fauxpology
Why #narcissist's apologies fall flat
Why #Hijackals are not sorry
Apologies as further manipulation and control
What makes a real apology and why you can't get on from a narcissist
How fauxpologies are part of the abuse cycle
What to keep in mind to not get hooked on the hope of a fauxpology

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#fauxpology #fauxpologies #narcissisticapology #nonapologies #nonapology #narcissistsdontapologize #narcissistsdontchange #sorrynotsorry #narcissisticcrazymaking #hijackalapology #hijackalapologies

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Keys to Unlocking Bliss & Wealth From The Blissful Millionaire Guest: Moneeka Sawyer

Thu, 23 Jul 2020 22:18:49 GMT

Bliss is a word that sometimes makes people's head spin and eyes roll. But, wouldn't you like to feel that you had things covered and eliminated your worries. That can be bliss!

Moneeka Sawyer shares her emotional journey that allowed her to overcome limiting beliefs and defeat negative mindsets to create the life she wanted. She did it, and she shares how you can, too. Sure, she's made a fortune in real estate investing, and that may not be what floats your boat, however, feeling free, resilient, bold, and authentic might. And, that's just what she shares about her journey to create the success she wanted.

You can do it, too, if you'll start with these ideas.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Moneeka had to overcome to invite bliss and wealth into her life
How you can be marginalized by your self talk
Moneeka Sawyer's definition of bliss
How you might pre-emptively defeat yourself
Why it's so important to become resilient
Shifting devaluing talk about yourself
Finding your path, values...and bliss

GUEST: MONEEKA SAWYER

Moneeka Sawyer is the blissful millionaire. She reached her financial freedom by turning $10,000 to over $2,000,000 working only 5-10 hours per MONTH with very little stress. She is now on a mission to help as many other women as she can to do the same. Moneeka hosts the the top rated podcast and podcast Real Estate Investing for Women and has also been featured on stages with Suzanne Sommers and Martha Stewart at places like the Nasdaq Marketplace, Harvard, and Carnegie Hall, and on TV on NBC, CBS, ABC, and Fox reaching over 150 million people.

MONEEKA SAWYER'S GIFT FOR YOU:

Free report on how she created her multi-million dollar real estate business, and how you can, too!

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: MONEEKA SAWYER

WEBSITE: https://www.BlissfulInvestor.com

PODCAST: http://realestateinvestingforwomenpodcast.com/

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/BlissfulRealEstateInvestor/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4FF7vwqQI1HsZ1uXln4-uQ/videos

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/moneekasawyer

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moneeka-sawyer-4561145/

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/moneekasawyer

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tough-conversations-with-david-wood/id1485812446

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#creatingblissandwealth #creatingwealthinrealestate #findingyourbliss #MoneekaSawyer #blissfulmillionair #choosebliss #realestateinvesting #defusedifficultconversations

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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DON'T BELIEVE EMOTIONAL FACTS: Recognize How Narcissists Use Them To Gaslight and Control You

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 02:51:09 GMT

Underhanded and manipulative, so-called "emotional facts" are used freely by #Hijackals--relentlessly difficult, toxic people like narcissists, borderlines, anti-socials--to frustrate, confuse, and blame. (You'll notice the same in #Hijackal attorneys.) You need to recognize emotional facts. Learn to question and refute them quickly. Tips for empowering responses here, too.

Hijackals® use emotional facts to suggest possible dire outcomes for something that is unlikely to happen. It's crazy-making! But, so is much of what #Hijackals do each day!

Emotional facts are also a tactic for getting others to make hasty decisions based on fear. Have you noticed how much they enjoy pushing that agenda.

I give you six steps to communicating with a person who is in the throes of presenting emotional facts, and they work well. Let me know how they worked for you.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Where the term, "emotional facts," is used
How emotional facts demonstrate narcissistic projection
How emotional facts are related to the Impostor Syndrome
Emotional facts are part of the "all or nothing" thinking of #Hijackals
Bill Eddy's definition of emotional facts
How mirror neurons fit into the emotional facts discussion
Six steps to defusing the fog of emotional facts coming in your direction

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionalfacts #impostorsyndrome #overnarcissist #covertnarcissist #mirrorneuronsandemotion #narcissisticprojection #manipulativepersuasion #staycalminthefaceofanger #askforanexample #emotionalhijackals

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Formula For Having Those Essential Tough Conversations Guest - David Wood

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 18:06:56 GMT

Are you shying away from a tough conversation that you know is important?

Would clearing the air really help but you're avoiding it?

Sometimes steering clear of a difficult conversation is unwise. In fact, usually, it's unwise.

Today's tips, strategies, and insights can empower you to step up and step in to difficult conversations that you may be avoiding because you're unsure how to do it with any sense of safety. David's C.A.S.E. formula will help!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why people avoid tough conversations
Why David believes tough conversations we avoid are doorways to confidence, success, and love
Why it is worth it to embrace discomfort
The link between tough conversations and finding more enjoyment and productivity at work
David's 4-part CASE formula for tough conversations

GUEST: David Wood

David is a former consulting actuary to Fortune 100 companies. David built the world’s largest coaching business, becoming #1 on Google for life coaching and coaching thousands of hours in 12 countries around the globe.

As well as helping others, David is no stranger to overcoming challenges himself, overcoming a full collapse of his paraglider and a fractured spine, witnessing the death of his sister at age seven, anxiety and depression, and a national Gong Show!

He coaches high performing entrepreneurs, executives, teams, and now prison inmates, to create amazing results and deep connection. One tough conversation at a time.

DAVID WOOD'S GIFT FOR YOU:

A free 4-step Blueprint and Discover Session. https://www.playforreal.life

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: DAVID WOOD

WEBSITE: https://www.playforreal.life

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/toughconversationswithdavidwood/

YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/c/ToughConversationswithDavidWood

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/_playforreal/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/solutionbox/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/_playforreal

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#toughconversations #difficultconversations #avoidingconversation #davidhill #playforreal #embracingdiscomfort #speakingupformyself

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Stop Second-Guessing Yourself! 30 Underhanded, Undermining, Passive-Aggressive Tactics Narcissists Us To Confuse

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:22:27 GMT

Passive-aggressive much? You wonder if it's your fault, and #Hijackals definitely want you to do just that. So do non-Hijackals who are passive-aggressive!

In today's episode, I give you thirty things passive-aggressive people say that are crazy-making, and show you clearly why and how they cause you to second-guess yourself and question your sanity. Why? So, you can see the patterns and recognize what's really going on...and, stop it!

All passive-aggressive people say many of these. Not all passive-aggressive people are #Hijackals, BUT all #Hijackals are passive-aggressive. Recognize these so you won't take on their veiled blame (or, not so veiled!), and sneaky anger!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is passive-aggressive behavior?
What does it sound like?
30 crazy-making things passive-aggressive people say to make you second-guess yourself
Understand why you second-guess yourself when you hear them
No longer be sucked into believing a #Hijackal who makes things your fault
Feel more confident that you can say 'NO!" to passive-aggressive blame.

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#passiveaggressive #recognizingpassiveaggression #saynotopassiveaggressiveblame #increaseyourconfidence #stopthecrazymaking #nomorepassiveaggressive

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Calming Approaches to Overcoming the Chronic Stress Toxic Relationships Bring GUEST: Dr. Atousa Mahdavi

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 21:56:28 GMT

So excited to bring you a guest who talks about Ayurveda again! I've studied it for years and I know the health benefits, for sure.

I met Dr. Atousa Mahdavi at the New Media Summit, and knew she would bring great insights and tips to add to your health and well-being. Who knew then that we'd be in this pandemic situation where anxiety is a constant in most people's lives, even when they lose awareness of it.

Invaluable information to take care of yourself! Enjoy.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How individuals respond to stress in different ways
What is Ayurveda?
What is Ayurvedic Psychology?
The different constitutions (doshas) and how to calm them
Why Vata dosha needs the most attention in times of stress and anxiety
How to calm the mind and body

GUEST: Dr. Atousa Mahdavi

Dr. Atousa Mahdavi, is board certified in Integrative medicine and a doctor of chiropractic and ayurvedic medicine and an Ayurvedic Yoga Therapist as well as a certified Hatha yoga Master teacher. She has been in private practice in Beverly Hills, California in the field of holistic medicine, a health and wellness expert, author and speaker, with more than 25 years of hands on clinical experience. She helps people achieve optimal health and wellbeing, vitality and vibrant energy, staying grounded and motivated and productive to be able to enjoy life to its highest potential.

DR. MAHDAVI'S GIFT FOR YOU:

A healthy daily routine and guidelines for healthy eating ebook? https://www.yourvitalitydoctor.com

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: DR. ATOUSA MAHDAVI

WEBSITE: https://www.yourvitalitydoctor.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/dratousamahdavi/

YOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/dr+atousa+mahdavi

INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/dratousamahdavi

TWITTER:

LINKEDIN: http://www.linkedin.com/dratousamahdavi

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#dratousamahdavi #drmahdavi #ayurveda #ayurvedicpsychology #healyourself #healingfromtoxicrelationships #yourvitalitydoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Overcoming Long-Term Fatal Attraction and Finding Yourself Again Guest: Lana Wolfe

Thu, 02 Jul 2020 17:26:25 GMT

Did you slowly recognize that you were on the receiving end of abuse?

In a relationship that you hoped would improve and you thought you might help?

Have you become entangled with life issues with someone you recognize as dangerous?

Lana's story is powerful. But, that power had to be developed, stepped into, and leveraged to walk away from an abusive relationship. It wasn't easy, or quick. Take inspiration from her journey, and know that even in the most dire situations, you can take life-saving steps, too. You're worth it. Listen in.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Personal experience that you may relate to
Overcoming the fear of leaving and its consequences
Recognizing the slow progression of abuse
Why you might not want to call it abusive...at first
How to get over residual fears
Knowing why and how to set non-negotiable boundaries

GUEST: LANA WOLFE, author of Like A Moth To A Flame: A Fatal Attraction

Lana Wolfe is a life coach helping others overcome fear and inner resistance. After spending 20 years in accounting, she embarked on a new career as an author, speaker and life coach. Following her near-fatal experience as told in her book, “Like a Moth to a Flame: A Fatal Attraction,” she overcame the trauma and developed the mantra of "fill your bucket before you kick the bucket." She is actively pursuing her passion to help women overcome fear, find inner peace and live the life of their dreams by checking things off their bucket list and live a life without regret. She wants to help people stop living the same-old dull life day after day and start living a fuller life every day.

In pursuit of her own dreams she is checking things off her bucket list such as raft through the Grand Canyon, touring the Redwood Forest, and hiking 14'ers in Colorado. Up next, she is hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.

LANA WOLFE'S GIFT FOR YOU:

ebook: 5 Steps to Fill Your Bucket

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: LANA WOLFE

WEBSITE: https://www.lanawolfe.com

PODCAST:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/LanaWolfeCoaching/?modal=admin_todo_tour

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lanawolfe26/

TWITTER:

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lana-wolfe-20415a15/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#leavingmyabuser #leavingabuse #recognizingemotionalabuse #likeamothtoaflame #gettingawayfromabuse #lanawolfe #escapingabuse #healingafterabuse #walkawayfromabuse

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Spotting Liars & The Four Kind Of Nasty Lies They Tell

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 03:51:10 GMT

Do you know when you're being lied to? Does your antenna go up?

Or, do you so want to believe the lie that you find a way to justify it?

Liars--particularly Hijackal liars--count on you to believe their lies. It's all part of their need to feel powerful and in control. Don't believe them! Use today's episode to sort out what's really coming at you, and recognize the lies.

You know it never works well to confront a #Hijackal: a person with narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopathic, and/or passive-aggressive tendencies and behaviors. Don't poke #Hijackals. Recognize what's going on. Don't let them think they have you outsmarted.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why Hijackals lie
How does a person become a liar
Why passive-aggressive people lie frequently
Narcissistic people like to tell half-truths
Beware of people who tell you "Trust me!"
Gaslighting is lying
Differences between compulsive liars and pathological liars
Why it's important to recognize these four kinds of lies in order to stop second-guessing yourself and to stop the crazy-making

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my online community today

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. .

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#spottingliars #paathologicalliars #compulsiveliars#compulsivelying #pathologicallying #passiveaggressivelying #tellinglies #whypeoplelie

#fourkindsoflies #narcissistslie #psychopathslie #sociopathslie #lyingtowin

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Does First Class Fatherhood Have To Involve Fear? Guest: Alec Lace

Wed, 24 Jun 2020 18:43:09 GMT

What about the state of fatherhood in the U.S. just now? Alec Lace, podcast host of First-Class Fatherhood, has some definite views on what is required. Father of four with a full-time job and a part-time shift with Uber, shares what he has learned talking with men in his car, as well as celebrities in many fields.

In less than two years Alec Lace has soared to the top of the podcasting industry by interviewing some of the most famous people on the planet in order to achieve his vision of changing the narrative of fatherhood and family life through his groundbreaking show, First-class Fatherhood.

What IS NOT happening that needs to happen for fathers to step up?

What IS happening that needs to change?

And, everything in between!

Stimulating discussion on the state of fatherhood, and considerations for shifting into what Alec calls 'First Class Fatherhood."

Do you agree? What are your responses? Love to hear from you.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

State of fatherhood today in Alec's view
Does fatherhood have to involve fear?
Is fear of your father the same as respect for your father?
The influence of absent vs. present fathers
What about poverty and neglect?
The fatherless crisis
How important are agreements between parents about rules and boundaries?
What is too harsh parenting?

GUEST: ALEC LACE, Podcast host of First-Class Fatherhood

Alec Lace is a father of four who, in 2018, launched the now popular podcast, First Class Fatherhood with a vision to change the narrative of fatherhood and family life. The show quickly became one of the top parenting podcasts in America due to Alec interviewing some of the most famous fathers in the world including Dean Cain, Deion Sanders, Tony Hawk, and Dana White.

Because of the show’s popularity Alec was invited to be on the field for the Super Bowl LIII media day in 2019 to interview dads such as Tom Brady, Julian Edelman, and Bill Belichick.

Additionally, our nation's heroes hold a special place in Alec’s heart and on his podcast he has interviewed legendary servicemen such as Navy SEALs Rob O’Neill and Marcus Luttrell, “Black Hawk Down” pilot Mike Durant, Benghazi survivor John Tiegen, and Medal of Honor recipients Ed Byers, Dakota Meyer and Michael Thornton.

On June, 16 2019 Alec himself was interviewed live on Fox & Friends for Father’s Day and has also appeared on several other top podcasts including Order of Man and Life of Dad.

Alec does all of this while continuing to be a dedicated railroad mechanic, a position he has held for twenty years and he even drives Uber on weekends as a way to further spread his message. First Class Fatherhood can be heard each week on iHeart Radio, Spotify, Pandora, and iTunes.

ALEC LACE has no gift for you.

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: ALEC LACE

WEBSITE: https://firstclassfatherhood.com/

PODCAST: https://firstclassfatherhood.com/

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/firstclassfatherhood

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/firstclassfatherhood

TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/aleclace

LINKEDIN:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

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INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#aleclace #firstclassfatherhood #fearoffather #respectfulparenting #respectparents #differencebetweenrespectandfear

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Feeling Trapped? Two BIG Things You Can Give Up That You May Not Realize You're Doing

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 20:59:54 GMT

Feeling trapped? Feeling stuck?

Not sure how to move from feeling things are impossible to a new direction?

You need to deeply consider these two things!

When we start a relationship, things are rosy. Or, at least, we think they are. That sets up a dynamic that may go unexamined for too long, and a relationship can become very lop-sided.

Is that how you feel about your relationship?

Today's episode can make a HUGE breakthrough for you if you will think deeply about these two important factors: Idolizing and idealizing. You may not understand they accurately enough. You will after you listen. And, you'll know how to move in a healthier direction for you and your children.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What happened at the start of the relationship makes a big difference
Why you may idolize a new partner
How idealization strays far from reality
Two things you need to examine if you're feeling trapped
How to get rid of old rose-colored glasses and see your relationship in the true light of today
How doing these things can get you away from feeling trapped

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#feelingrappedinarelationship #feelingtrappedbyanarcissist #feelingrappedbyahijackal #idealizingaperson #idolizingaperson #unhealthytoidealize #unhealthytoidolize #gettingoutofatoxicrelationship #escapingthehijackaltrap

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Financial Empowerment For Women Considering Divorce...And After Guest: Victoria Lowell

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 20:10:47 GMT

Too many people--especially, unfortunately, women--feel they are at a disadvantage in seeking a divorce because of financial control.

If you're married to a narcissistic #Hijackal, that will usually be the case. What can you do?

I'm delighted to bring Victoria Lowell to Save Your Sanity to discuss very real concerns people have when wanting to leave a toxic relationship but finances seem too troublesome. Have you ever thought you couldn't leave because of money?

#Hijackals love to take financial control amid the other kinds of control they enjoy. You might find yourself unexpectedly having your name taken off houses or other assets. What do you do? How do you manage? What CAN you do?

Big important discuss today with this financial advocate and coach. Great insights!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What's your financial identity?
How's your financial infidelity?
How #Hijackals and others hide assets in divorce
Is it possible to reverse a power of attorney?
What if my partner does not make a full financial disclosure during divorce?
What about pre-nups?
What steps can a women take to regain control of her financial power?

GUEST: VICTORIA LOWELL

Victoria “Vicky” Lowell is a financial advocate and coach, international bestselling author and the founder of Empowered Worth, a financial-education platform that empowers women to become active participants in their own financial future and well-being. She is also the author of the international bestseller, “Empower your Worth: A Woman’s Guide to Increasing Self-Worth and Net Worth.” Her expertise in this field has led to her hosting a college-planning seminar at the University of Miami this year with several speaking opportunities planned, both locally and nationally, next year.

She was formerly at UBS Financial Services, Inc. where she was a client service associate and later a financial advisor. In late 2018 she left UBS and followed her passion to help women assert themselves fiscally. Empowered Worth was born as a resource for financial coaching geared toward educating women to not only meet their immediate economic needs but attain long-term goals.

Lowell has also worked with organizations such as the S.O.S. Organization at the Sloan School at MIT, the Junior League of Greenwich, Connecticut and locally with Baptist Hospital Foundation. These endeavors helped to foster her desire to help empower women in her community.

VICTORIA LOWELL has a gift for you: Money Stories Worksheet

Get it here http://www.empoweredworth.com/resources

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: VICTORIA LOWELL

WEBSITE: www.empowerdworth.com

PODCAST: http://www.empoweredworth.com/resources

FACEBOOK: h https://www.facebook.com/empoweredworth

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz0iLBTbRg2RC-nqiMmfSRw?view_as=subscriber

INSTAGRAM: httt://instagram.com/empoweredworth

TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/empoweredworth

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-lowell-67268375/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

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#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Going For The Gotcha: The Big Damaging Difference Between Verifying and Validating Your Partner

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 19:16:40 GMT

Are you wrong every time you turn around? Does your partner--or mother--have to win in every conversation?

Someone who has to be right all the time is verifying, not validating. That can not only be infuriating and frustrating, it's nasty!

Sound familiar? Is there someone in your life who always thinks they have the facts. They remember events better than you. Know what you should do?

That's gaslighting! When another person wants to define your reality for you--tell you what you want, think, need, feel, remember, that's gaslighting. They want to be in control of your experiences and responses in life, and that is taking away a basic right you have!

Oxford dictionary:

Verify: to make sure or demonstrate that something is true, accurate, justified

Validate: to recognize or affirm the worth of a person or their feelings or opinions; cause a person to feel valued or worthwhile

Big difference! Are you asking "What's going on in my relationships?" This could be it. Get tips for making it stop.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you feel frustrated in your relations
Understanding the difference between being verified and validated
Why being verifying is a game of one upmanship
Knowing how it feels to be validated
Understand that being validated in a relationship is healthy
You are not weak or needy to want to be and feel validated in your close relationships

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

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#validatingyourpartner #feelingvalidated #validateyourself #validateyourpartner #verifyingfacts #wantstomakemewrong #wantstoprovemewrong #catchesmeout #lookstocatchmeout #alwayslookingforfault #alwaysneedstoberight

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Your Partner Is NOT Your Project!

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 04:01:18 GMT

You'll never have the partnership you want if you continue to see your partner as a project.

You'll never be loved when your partner wants to fix or change you.

BIG PROBLEMS!

The three essential elements in a healthy relationship all need equal consideration for their well-being: 2 Me's and 1 WE! Too often, those elements are not considered equally. Each "ME" wants the floor, and the "WE" takes a constant back seat. That won't work because it will all be a struggle--a power struggle. That creates tension and stress which produce anxiety. No one does well when those things are prevalent!

Today's topic highlights an underlying issue in relationships in distress: one partner sees their partner as a project.

Remember Episode 115 about the 3 MUST-HAVES For a Healthy Adult Relationship? If not, I invite you listen to that episode. If you did, you'll remember that one MUST-HAVE is equality. That's simply not present when you think you have the right to "fix" your partner.

Your partner cannot be a partner when you are treating them like a project. Take stock now. What's going on in your relationship?

I'm always here to help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why relationships don't work when one partner wants to change the other
The essential three entities in a relationship
Why you lose respect for your partner
3 big problems that trying to fix your partner creates for you
5 damaging thoughts that destroy relationships
6 things that need to happen to make a relationship healthy

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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#don'tmakeyourpartneraproject #equalityinrelationship #mypartnerwantstochangeme #I wanttochangemypartner #ifeellikemypartnerisaproject #acceptingmypartner #beingacceptedbymypartner #powerstruggle

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Overcoming The Impact Of A Toxic Workplace Relationship Guest: Michele PW

Wed, 03 Jun 2020 19:42:36 GMT

You spend many hours a day at work. Whether you go to a business setting or work from home, you will occasionally meet difficult, toxic people who are dedicated to putting you down and wearing you down. Michele PW shares her experience as a young copywriter and how it impacted her for years before she recovered true trust in herself.

Toxic workplaces abound. I've been invited to work with individual toxic managers, and with teams with a toxic member. No one feels good about going to work every day in this environment. Things can change before there are too lasting effects, if you get help early.

Michele talks about her specific experiences with a toxic boss, and how she managed to recover to become a successful business owner herself, and a successful writer. She shares how she became afraid of failing and not living up to the expectations of others.

Sound familiar? Enjoy this episode and take her learning for your own situation.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How even a short time in a toxic workplace can affect you negatively
The effects Michele experienced after a toxic workplace
What a past toxic experience can STOP you from doing and that's not a good thing
How a toxic experience affected Michele's ability and willingness to write
How she overcame it
What do you best do if you experience writer's block
Why to heal a blow to your ego as soon as possible

GUEST: MICHELE PW

Michele PW (Pariza Wacek) is a best-selling, award-winning fiction and nonfiction author. On the fiction side, she writes psychological thrillers/mystery/suspense books and has a popular book blog.

On the nonfiction side, she’s written 5 books in the "Love-Based Business" series that share how to sell more with love and build a solid, profitable business on a foundation of love. In addition, she owns a copywriting and marketing company that has sold $50M worth of products and services.

MICHELE PW has a gift for you: The Writing Toolkit

Get it here :https://www.lovebasedbiz.com

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: MICHELE PW

WEBSITE: michele@michelepw.com

FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/michelepwauthor

YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/michelepw

INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/themichelepw

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/michelepw

LINKEDIN: https://linkedin.com/in/michelepw

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#toxicworkplace #toxiccolleague #toxicbusinesspartner #difficultpeopleatwork #narcissistsatwork #narcissistsintheworkplace #hijackalsatwork #hijackalsinbusiness #dealingwithhijackals #michelepw

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Recognizing Narcissistic Contempt: Nasty Ways Hijackals Demean, Dismiss & Discount You.

Sun, 31 May 2020 22:33:02 GMT

You know that look, that jerky look of superiority that #Hijackals give you? I call it The Hijackal Smirk. It's that look of disdain, disrespect, and "I'm superior and you are a fool" that Hijackals are infamous for. Got it?

Contempt is lethal, hurtful, demoralizing, and a much deeper emotion that fleeting ones that we all have during the day. It is more complex.

Contempt is the opposite of empathy and compassion.

Contempt actually invalidates others: suggests that they have no good right to take up space or draw breath except to do my bidding. Have you ever felt that from your partner, parent, ex, or sibling? That's contempt.

I like the great thought that Tim Otten put into his paper for Tilburg University on "Conceptualizing Contempt." His final conclusion for a definition of contempt was:

"[Contempt is] a negative feeling with a downward social comparison wherein one feels superior and judges the other as inferior. One thinks of the other as incompetent, worthless, and one has no respect or appreciation for the other. This goes accompanied by behavior aimed to socially exclude and derogate the other."

YUCK! You don't deserve to be treated that way. If this sounds at all familiar, let's talk soon and sort this out. (P.S. Your kids deserve a better model, too. right?)

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why contempt is lethal, hurtful and demoralizing
How to recognize contempt
How disgust, anger, disdain, and disrespect add up to contempt
Contempt can include irrational responses to other groups of people
Contempt is constant underlying hostility
The Gottman Institute, 1993 - "Contempt is the best predictor of divorce." Find out why.
Contempt can be linked to racism and prejudice
7 Ways Hijackals Treat You With Contempt - Recognize these?

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissisticcontempt #narcissistcontempt #mypartnerdemeansme #mypartnerputsmedown #lowselfesteem #lackofselfconfidence #meanpartner #nastypartner #contemptuousbehavior #hijackalcontempt #whatiscontempt #howcontemptshowsup

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Overcoming Emotional Exhaustion & Restoring Your Health Guest: Dr. Sundardas Annamalay

Fri, 29 May 2020 21:21:41 GMT

Are toxic relationships ruining your health? Is your immune system being depleted by constant anxiety?

Walking on eggshells is a stressful way to get exercise. You need to change that and here are some ways.

You can do so much for your own health. Dr. Sundardas Annamalay has made this is lifelong study and his mission is to help you recognize and realize all that you can do to overcome the exhaustion of emotional abuse, and other contributors to health issues. Emotional issues create physical issues. You want relief from both, and that's a very good thing to achieve.

BIG QUESTION: Do you feel energized by being with the other person, or not? That answer will tell you so much. We talk about that.

Early childhood patterns also affect our willingness to accept poor behaviors, or unwillingness to clarify and set boundaries. Even more so, to enforce those boundaries.

Are you ready to feel be better...including your physical health? Tune in and hear these invaluable insights from Dr. Annamalay who is revered throughout Asia for his wisdom, skills, and new ways to live by your own design.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is meant by "functional medicine"
Why we have to distinguish between "medicine" and "natural medicine"
What big health issues are currently being ignored
The top 3 things to do to promote your own health
How toxic relationships affect your body
The difference between being a nice person and being an effective one
How early childhood patterns can create negative programming and what you can change

GUEST: DR. SUNDARDAS ANNAMALAY

Award Winning Entrepreneur, Best-Selling Author, Strategic Business Mentor, Professor of Natural Medicine and Natural Medicine Practitioner. Dr Sundardas created the Million Dollar Designed Life Formula after working with more than 15,000 individuals from more than 30 countries.

He has shared the stage with some of the most successful entrepreneurs, thought leaders and executive coaches like Bill Walsh and Robert Kiyosaki, to name a few. His client list includes some of the leading Asian actresses and entertainers, diplomats, ambassadors, some of the richest families in Asia, the Middle East, India, and members of the royalty from Malaysia. Organisations include Goldman and Sachs, IBM, as well as South East Asian government bodies like the Ministry of Defence and Education, Singapore as well as the Ministry of Health, Thailand.

Dr. Sundardas has helped companies in the wellness arena generate more than US$25 million in sales by strategic technical positioning. He has worked with diverse industries such as healthcare, engineering, shipping, architecture, restaurants, fresh produce and health food, fashion, copywriting and public relations in the areas of Peak Performance, Personal Branding and Strategic Management.

Dr Sundardas has Asperger's Syndrome and recovered from a near terminal heart failure.

DR. SUNDADAS ANNAMALAY has a gift for you: "Life By Design: How to Design Your Ideal Life To Be Healthy"

Get it here: http://lifebydesign-home.pages.ontraport.net

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: DR. SUNDARDAS ANNAMALAY

WEBSITE: www.drsundardas.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/SundardasDAnnamalay/?modal=admin_todo_tour

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiN5vyPdJd2lMmtTRgYVEtg

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drsundardas/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/DrSundardasa

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsundardasannamalay/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

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join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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#overcomingexhaustion #emotionalexhaustion #functionalmedicine #vibrationalmedicine #naturalmedicine #energymedicine #ignorehealthissues #recovermyhealth #recovermyhealthafteremotionalabuse #recoverafteremotionalabuse #sundardasannalamalay

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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STOP HOPING! Why You'll Never Be Able To Create Emotional Intimacy With A Narcissistic Hijackal

Tue, 26 May 2020 03:21:15 GMT

You long to be known, seen, heard, acknowledged, approved of and accepted. Those are the very things that a person with narcissistic or anti-social tendencies will not give you. That's how they manipulate you.

You want those things and they pretend, suggest, or promise them. You know now that you're not going to receive them.

I hate to have to be so strong, but it's essential: STOP HOPING!

That person who manipulated and love-bombed you into falling in love with them is a mirage, a charade, a facade, a chameleon. That person is made-up and put on. That's not the real person.

If you keep hoping that that mythical first-date person is real, you'll keep thinking that if only you could find the right formula while making yourself into a pretzel--that person would return. You know that you only see that person now when the Hijackal is really afraid of losing you, or really wanting something you don't want to give them, right?

Sad, but true!

That's why today's episode is SO IMPORTANT! Good people hold out hope that difficult, toxic people will change. It seldom happens....and, I mean REALLY SELDOM! They will make some surface changes for awhile, but their basic nature most often wins out and they go back to their damaging ways.

Yep! That's the bottom line: stop hoping, OK?

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why Hijackals cannot be emotionally intimate
The difference between being proximate and being intimate
Why you're desire for intimacy is their opportunity to weaponize your vulnerabilites
Don't mistake the desire for control with the desire to know you better
Important understanding of the psychological definitions of intimacy
Why emotional intimacy requires the emotional safety you'll never have around a #narcissist, a @Hijackal

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

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-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionalintimacy #emotionalsafety #weaponizemyvulnerabilities #desiretocontrolme #demandtocontrolme #whatisemotionalintimacy #howtobeemotionallysafe #emotionallyunsaferelationship

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How To Feel More Confident In Your Decision-Making Guest: Mary Goulet

Thu, 21 May 2020 22:32:59 GMT

When you're with a toxic person, you recognize that they love to keep you in uncertainty, on edge, and hyper-vigilant. Recognize that?

Do you find your shoulders creeping up to your earlobes when you're around the #Hijackal?

When that is so, you lose energy, and the stress makes decision-making difficult, right? You second-guess yourself. You argue with yourself. You get quickly exhausted, and decisions are postponed.

Today, Mary Goulet is here to offer hope...and strategies. We talk about how to get back in touch with your own feelings, intuition, or gut instinct. That sometimes gets covered up by all the "noise" in a toxic relationship, right?

Mary Goulet says, "Your gut is always a statement: do, don't do, or delay." Let her suggestions get you back in touch with what's best for you, and how let your body tune in and tell you.

Decision-making? Mary says your gut is courage-based. That's good news, for a start!

I think you'll find this to be a very insightful interview. Let me know how it helped by joining in on the Save Your Sanity Facebook Page: https://www.Facebook.com/SaveYourSanityPodcast

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why we don't trust ourselves sometimes
What gets in the way of trusting yourself
How you can shift from shaky to secure decision-making
How you can overcome second-guessing
Why you need to learn to say "no" earlier

GUEST: MARY GOULET

Mary Goulet has been in media since 2002. She is a radio host of The Mary Goulet Show and a co-host on Steve Olsher’s Reinvention Radio and Beyond 8 Figures. Mary has appeared on Dr. Phil, Montel, CBS Early Show, Fox National News and over 50-morning shows across the country.

Mary is an award-winning author; The MomsTown Guide to Getting It All (Hyperion) and It’s All About You, Live the Life You Crave (Simon & Schuster/Free Press). Her popular, signature work is titled Go With Your Gut; How to Make Decisions You Can Trust.

MARY GOULET'S FREE GIFT: Her ebook, Go With Your Gut.

Get your free copy at http://GoWithYourGut.net

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: MARY GOULET

WEBSITE: https://www.MaryGoulet.net

FACEBOOK:

YOUTUBE:

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How Parenting Your Partner Ruins Relationships & The Desire for Intimacy

Wed, 20 May 2020 16:04:09 GMT

So exasperating! Your partner seems like an extra child. Not what you signed up for, right!

And, no amount of pointing out his/her failures, incompetencies, or lack of thought seems to change things, either.

Infuriating!

OK...I understand, but it's definitely not going to help if you are viewing your partner as an extra child. That alone needs your immediate attention!

If you actually treat your partner as an extra child--giving direction, finding fault, ridiculing, shaming, and blaming--your relationship will always be lacking in those three MUST-HAVES: equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. It will always be frustrating, infuriating, and unsatisfying.

And, the bedroom? Going to consistently be contentious. No desire because there's not respect. It's all going to go sideways, and I give you some pointed examples of why in this episode.

So, if you're unhappy in your relationship, it could be that this episode can change all that as you understand the impossible dynamics of parenting your partner as a primary process. Sure, we are occasionally that parental figure that makes the bad go away for each other, that soothes the bruises and bumps. That's great.

It's when the primary attitude of an attempt to be a partner is "It feels like I have an extra child" is in place, then everything else slowly disintegrates.

Listen and I'm sure it will makes sense to you. Good news: this can change!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How you damage your relationship when you act like your partner's parent
Why you feel resentment when you feel you have to parent your partner
What 'parenting' your partner may look/sound
Why behaving like a parent to your partner builds resentment
Why you don't want to sleep with someone who treats you like a child
How to see the contrasts and change
How to change and improve your relationship ...and, get the spark back, too.

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

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Women! What To Do When You Feel You're Not Enough Guest: Audrey Hope

Fri, 15 May 2020 20:34:04 GMT

For women to be in their power does not mean they are seeking power over other humans!

It's an inside job!

Even though women have made strides towards equality for all humans, there are still many ways to address. Today, we're talking about the internal journey of finding our sense of self, getting in touch with how we may not be being our own best friends!

How do you feel when you hear the term, "self-love?" Does it sound like how you feel, or does it sound like something obvious or foreign? Sometimes, I think it has been used to the point that people hearing it don't take it in, so we've addressed that today. And, what it means.

How about women's feminine spiritual power? Intrigued? We explore this, and how we can manifest our true nature through accepting our power.

So much to inspire women in this episode just for them, OR YOU!. Enjoy!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is self-love? It's sometimes over-used and unclear.
Have women really come a long way?
How to recognize whether it's our brains or our bodies that are running our thoughts
Why and how women have been tricked into competition
Why it's absolutely imperative that you stop using self-deprecating language
How and why every woman needs to be in her power, expressing fully

GUEST: AUDREY HOPE

Audrey Hope, D.D. is an award-winning certified addiction therapist and holds a Doctor of Divinity degree, who uses her abilities as a clairvoyant psychic medium to heal patients from trauma.

A multi-talented force in the healing arts for over 20 years, Audrey Hope’s gentle-but-firm approach in addiction and relationships gets to the ‘root of the root’ to solve problems through spiritual modalities as she guides patients to freedom using a new frontier of healing to achieve inner peace.

She has her own practice in the heart of Brentwood, CA, is the host of her weekly YouTube advice show “Hope For Relationships,” and is also an addiction therapist at Seasons In Malibu rehab facility.

Throughout two decades in her field, Audrey has worked with an abundance of celebrities, producers, CEOs, doctors, lawyers, authors, athletes, heirs, and more – helping them cope with their relationship and/or addiction problems.

AUDREY HOPE has no free give for you at this time.

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST: AUDREY HOPE

WEBSITE: https://www.AudreyHope.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TheAudreyHope/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/user/audreyhopesrealtv

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theaudreyhope/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/TheAudreyHope

LINKEDIN:

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9 Ways to Tell If Your Relationship Is A Healthy Slow Cooker Or A Hijackal Pressure Cooker

Mon, 11 May 2020 03:59:44 GMT

Who wants to live in a pressure cooker?

No one goes out and says, "I want to live with anxiety, hyper-vigilance, stress, and uncertainty. Give me that relationship!"

Well, no one who cares about themselves does, right?

Today, I'm using the contrasts between a slow cooker and a pressure cooker to highlight just what I mean. Most of us have one or the other--maybe, both--in our kitchens. We know what they do.

Have you ever thought about slow cookers and pressure cookers in terms of how relationships start, grow, cook, or burn? It makes it quite clear!

Healthy relationships grow. They're gently creating depth of flavor, slowly.

#Hijackal relationships degrade and love to reduce even the strongest fiber to nothing.

Which relationship sounds better to you? Less heat over more time to savor the flavor? Or, greater heat over less time to break things down?

Are you genuinely captivated by your partner, or feeling controlled and a captive? Big difference!

Think deeply about these points today, even though you may think they are presented in a more lighthearted way. These are important distinctions that can lead to you being more able to discern whether your relationship has hope for being healthy. You need to know that!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Healthy relationships get better with time
Hijackal relationships have too much pressure
How to tell the difference between healthy relationships and unhealthy relationship
Nine ways to recognize there is too much pressure, too much anxiety
How Hijackals trick you into thinking all is well and you are loved
How to tell if you're in a narcissistic relationship, a controlling relationship, a potentially traumatic relationship

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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Raising Healthy Kids While Working Without Burning Out - Guest - Kimberly Lou

Fri, 08 May 2020 20:07:17 GMT

Oh, more pressure! Somehow, the idea is often promoted that you're supposed to be best, most, top, smartest, most effective, most productive, most involved, ever-present parent...in order to be good enough! NO! NO! NO!

Who really told you that you're supposed to be a "SuperMom?"

Who's deciding that?

Do you value what they're up to or how they live?

Do you--should you--care what others think?

Have you examined what "good enough" parenting is FOR YOU?

Big topics worth talking and thinking through! If you don't, you can get caught up in the generalized idea that you're not doing a good enough job of anything! Ever been caught in that "slush bucket?"

Today, Kimberly Lou and I discuss where we get our ideas of what makes a good mother, even a great mother. It may not be what you've accepted, or been told and not examined. Freedom!

Kimberly has a valuable distinction: the difference between creating harmony rather than balance. You'll want to engage with that thought in this episode. She has some other provocative thoughts that will help you clarify your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and choices about parenting.

Oh, and Kimberly knows a few things about toxic relationships, too. Tune in.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognize that parenting can be crazy-making
it's OK to realize that you may be feeling burned out as a parent
How to manage all the balls in the air at your house
Things to consider when feeling pressed and pressured by parenting
Why it's important to do your personal emotional work to be the best parent
Who says you're supposed to be a Super-Mom, anyway!!!

GUEST: KIMBERLY LOU

Integrative Life Coach Kimberly Lou helps "SuperMoms" who are burnt-out from taking on motherhood and a successful career to where they have no time to make room for romance. Kimberly offers life-changing advice to help women balance their life in a healthy way.

Kimberly Lou is an integrative Life and Corporate Mentor who coaches top CEOs, entrepreneurs, celebrities, and world-class athletes around the world. She helps clients accelerate and thrive through mental focus, emotional fitness and physical training.

In addition to Kimberly’s mentoring programs, she is an accomplished author, and a nationally recognized spokesperson for mental health and wellness. With over two decades of experience and extensive education, Advanced Fitness and Certified Wellness Specialist, Kimberly Lou creates attainable solutions using techniques that work at all fitness and wellness levels. Kimberly Lou has helped doctors create programs addressing mental illness, cognitive disabilities, and major addictions, in addition to, facilitating workshops and support groups for clients struggling with cognitive, mental, emotional, drug, and eating disorders.

Kimberly is the author of Becoming Who You're Meant To Be: Eliminate Destructive Patterns And Unlock The Ultimate You.

KIMBERLY LOU has no free gift for you.

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST:

WEBSITE: https://www.KimberlyLou.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyloucoaching

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSdV-ne-VP7pOl_-vTlmFew

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/kimloucoach

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/KimLouCoach

LINKEDIN:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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3 MUST-HAVES For Relationships Between Adults To Be Healthy

Wed, 06 May 2020 17:50:53 GMT

In a previous episode, I promised to create an episode on my fundamental, absolute MUST-HAVES for a healthy relationship with another adult. Here it is!

Whether that relationship is with your partner (most important), your parent, sibling, or adult children, these three things must be present or you are going to have pain, distress, stress, and resentment. Not good ingredients for a relationship you want to stay in, right?

If you cannot develop, grow, or deepen these three must-haves, or only one person in the relationship wants to, you have big things to think about and big decisions to make. You'll especially have to think this through if you have children who are watching your relationship ...and learning about who they are, how to have a relationship, and what it means to be a man or woman in one!

These foundations underlie every conversation you are likely to have in and about your relationship, too. They are that basic.

Yet, often, you're so busy with the day-to-day incidents and must-do's that they go unaddressed. Too big. Too pervasive. Maybe, too daunting to talk about?

I hope you'll see the value of considering your relationships with your partner, parent, sibling, or adult child in light of these relationship must-haves, and take the time to delve deeply into what is present in your relationship, what you're enabling in your relationship, and what you're settling for.

If you need my help, I'm always here for you. BeAClient.com

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

The three essentials to having a healthy relationship with another adult
See why these are must-haves in your relationship with your partner, parent, sibling, or adult child
Why people overlook the upmost importance of these to the potential for happiness
Five relationship gifts from my book, Kaizen for Couples, that must be present for the relationship to thrive

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

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Why A Famous Filmmaker Focuses On "The Truth About Marriage" Guest: ROGER NYGARD

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 23:27:34 GMT

Big leap from Trekkies and Six Days in Roswell to making a film called 'The Truth About Marriage?" I asked Roger Nygard about his fascination with seemingly impossibly deep subjects, and why marriage was his next plunge. You may be surprised by his response.

Roger Nygard is obsessed with unraveling mysteries. Marriage can certainly be one, right?

Curiosity, he believes, is our nature, and he enjoys delving into new explorations to shed light and plummet the depths. Roger says "Happiness is in the process" and we need to be challenged. Again, marriage can be challenging, right?

What inspired Roger to look into the truth of marriage? He says that it was his own failures that caused him to look deeply at what was underneath the surface that he might have missed. Personal experience can shift your thinking in ways that a world of conversation cannot. Roger had those experiences, learned from them, and did what every inquiring mind does: he jumped into the why's, wherefore's, could have's, should have's, and why didn't I's. His movie is the result.

Enjoy this conversation. I certainly did, and let Roger's experiences shortcut your journey.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why a filmmaker of Roger Nygard's reputation chose marriage as his next documentary subject
What life experiences led him to explore the depths of relationship
How open-minded inquiry can benefit your marriage
Roger's thought that "Happiness = certainty" and where it took him
What part purpose plays in happiness, and how that relates to marriage
And, what about the Grand Plan???

GUEST: ROGER NYGARD

Director, producer, editor, writer

Roger Nygard has made several award-winning, independent, feature films. His current project, THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE, focuses on his most challenging topic yet: marriage.

His previous documentary, THE NATURE OF EXISTENCE, asks why are we here, and what are we supposed to do about it? His other documentaries include, TREKKIES and TREKKIES 2, about the most obsessive fans in the Universe, and a compelling look at UFO enthusiasts entitled, SIX DAYS IN ROSWELL. Nygard’s narrative films include HIGH STRUNG, a comedy starring Steve Oedekerk, the action film, BACK TO BACK: AMERICAN YAKUZA 2, and the car-salesman cult-film SUCKERS. He has also edited feature films such as Mike Binder’s comedy-dramas, MAN ABOUT TOWN and BLACK OR WHITE.

ROGER NYGARD is perhaps best known to audiences and critics alike for his highly successful and acclaimed documentary Trekkies about the most obsessive fans in the Universe. Nygard’s previous documentary, The Nature of Existence addressed the impossible subject of the source of the world's philosophies, religions, and belief systems. Nygard has made several award-winning films, including the comedy High Strung, with Steve Oedekerk, Denise Crosby, and Jim Carrey, Back to Back: American Yakuza 2 with Michael Rooker and Bobcat Goldthwaite, Suckers with Daniel Benzali, Louis Mandylor, and Lori Loughlin, and the documentary about UFO fanatics, Six Days in Roswell.

ROGER NYGARD has no free gift for you. Do, though, find and enjoy his movies.

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST:

WEBSITE: http://thetruthaboutmarriage.com

FACEBOOK:

YOUTUBE:

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/rogernygard/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/RogerNygard

LINKEDIN:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

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How Hijackals Make Their Kids Lives Difficult & How To Help As The Other Parent

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 15:25:34 GMT

Being with a #Hijackal is relentlessly difficult, for sure.

Watching how the Hijackal treats your children can be heartbreaking. Today's episode offers insights into the dynamics of having a #Hijackal parent, AND of being the other parent with one. IT'S DIFFICULT!

Children look to each parent as the source of their value, for validation that they deserve to take up space and draw breath on this earth. A Hijackal parent gives a child a very skewed and uncertain view: everything depends on the Hijackal's mood or needs in the moment. The child cannot possibly understand. Things go sideways.

You, as the other parent watching all this, may be feeling doubly hurt and doubly anxious, for yourself and for your children. The Hijackal wants the child to be compliant and meet their narcissistic needs. The child wants the Hijackal parent to like, accept, and approve of them. An immediately negative power dynamic is set up!

How do I protect my child?

How do I support my child?

How do I do this all without incurring further wrath from the Hijackal parent?

On top of all you have to deal with, there's all this. It's no wonder that you are exhausted from getting inappropriate exercise by walking on eggshells and tightropes. It's an almost impossible task. So, today, I'm offering you insights and strategies to support your child, take care of yourself, and intervene in positive ways.

Take a big breath, grab a glass of water, and sit back. This episode will help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What the child looks for from the difficult, #Hijackal parent
The impossibility of consistently pleasing a Hijackal
Validating your own feelings of concern as the other parent with a Hijackal
Preparing yourself to help your child
Understanding the dynamics set up in the child with a demanding, unpredictable parent
Supporting your child in effective ways to make sense of conflicting messages about who they are
Giving your child back the right to have their feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants
Help to stop the crazy-making for kids

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

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YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

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#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Taking Back Your Power After Emotional Abuse Guest: SHERRY ANSHARA

Thu, 23 Apr 2020 05:34:45 GMT

Ever feel stuck? Try as you might to get your leg out of the emotional muck, the next leg sinks in again?

Did something happen long ago that still haunts and harasses you today?

In this episode, you'll learn about where memories, fears, anxieties, and trauma are stored and how you can clear out that storage. Get some insights on clearing emotional clutter.

Many current relationship issues stem from childhood experiences locked in cellular memory. Those childhood events and climates can definitely "infect" current relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. That can be changed.

Perhaps, you've experienced trauma after childhood. That can change your perception of yourself and others. It can undermine self-confidence, or the willingness and ability to trust.

Emotions are housed in the body, even though they often go unnoticed, or seem to lay dormant. Learn how this can affect you, your self-esteem, self-confidence, and ways you look at your world.

Sherry Anshara offers wise suggestions for removing the emotional charges of current and past relationships, events, and circumstances. That's good news. Enjoy the episode!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What Sherry Anshara calls seeing with "real eyes"
Why it's important to become an NEO (intrigued?)
What is cellular memory?
What does it store?
Can it be cleared?
How to remove the emotional charge for a memory or interaction
The Anshara Method

GUEST: SHERRY ANSHARA

Sherry Anshara is an international bestselling author, professional speaker, former radio host of “Conscious Healing”, and contributing writer to national and international publications on the subject of the Anshara Method of Accelerated Healing & Abundance and overall wellness. Sherry Anshara utilizes her experience and expertise as a Medical Intuitive and Success Coach as the foundation of her groundbreaking work with Cellular Memory, which she calls the Anshara Method.

Through the Anshara Method, you access your Cellular Memories which hold the root causes of your symptoms—whether mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial. Sherry Anshara created these systematic processes so you can rid yourself of unwanted limitations, restrictions, negative thought patterns, and toxic behaviors. Sherry Anshara guides you to heal at the cellular level so you enjoy health, wellness, and abundance in every area of your life.

SHERRY ANSHARA has gifts for you: ebook - Getting Your Answers in 10 Minutes

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST:

WEBSITE: https://www.SherryAnshara.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/AnsharaHQ

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/QuantumPathic

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sherry_anshara/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/TheAnshara

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherryanshara/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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Housebound With A Hijackal? 16 Forms of Emotional Domestic Violence to Recognize NOW!

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 02:25:10 GMT

During the self-isolating shutdown, domestic violence has increased greatly. Hopefully, that will draw attention to the many people who need to be safer than they are.

Unfortunately, the women and men who are being emotionally abused--experiencing emotional domestic violence--will once again go unnoticed. A BIG PROBLEM!

Emotional domestic abuse on its own doesn't come with visible choke marks, bruises, casts, contusions, and black eyes. It comes with DEEP, LONG-LASTING EMOTIONAL SCARS! Fortunately, those can be helped to heal.

It's been awhile since I've spoken about the many facets of emotional abuse. You need to keep them clearly in view. You need to step back from your relationship and recognize what's actually happening. Sometimes, you're so worn down by the tearing down and putting down that comes your way from a #Hijackal, that you can hardly face the enormity of it.

Before you listen to this episode, I invite you to be in a place where you can have some time after listening to process your feelings. Take a bottle of water and sit down with your journal, and think about:

How many of these forms of emotional abuse are you experiencing?
How long have you been experiencing these?
If it is your partner who behaves this way, did you have a parent who was also emotionally abusive?
Have you become so used to the abuse that you recognize now that you need help?
Do you make excuses for the #Hijackal's behavior?
Do you rationalize or justify the emotional abuse?

Very important questions to ponder, and spend some time answering. I know you're tired, probably emotionally exhausted. That's just how a #Hijackal wants you to be. Then, your thinking may be cloudy and the Hijackal will happily prey on your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Emotional domestic abuse is real. I'm always here to help you. Listen to more podcasts. Watch my videos on YouTube: https://www.YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp .

And, if you want to talk with me directly, become a member of my Support Circles, or work with me directly at http://BeAClient.com

This is SERIOUS STUFF! I'll walk with you on the healing journey.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How having to stay home with a #Hijackal increases the likelihood of domestic violence
Emotional abuse IS domestic violence
Recognizing 16 forms of emotional domestic violence generally takes in most #Hijackals
Stepping back to allow yourself to see that you are being emotionally abused and do NOT deserve it
Knowing that abuse is NOT YOUR FAULT (although a Hijackal tries to makes everything your fault )

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#houseboundwithnarcissist #homewithahijackal #homewithanarcissist #stuckathome #lockeddown #isolatedwithanarcissist #isolationwithahijackal #staysaferwithanarcissist #gaslighting #toxicnegativity #emotionaldomesticvioldence #domesticviolence

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Where To Find Your Emotional Resiliency Guest: Susan Dascenzi

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 23:23:30 GMT

What do you think the balance is between trust and fear? Is there one? How do you create it?

You'll need that to be emotionally resilient, especially after emotional abuse.

Susan Dascenzi talks about emotions as "energy in motion," a new idea to consider in light of her explanation, for sure. This changes things!

Susan has walked through many things as a six-time survivor of sexual assault. She brings a unique perspective because, not only has she been aware of her spiritual core since the age of four, but she sees her challenges with difficult people and toxic relationships as gifts. Even, her emotionally abusive ex-husband!

Obviously, she brings hope to you in this interview!

Susan is a licensed psychotherapist, so her insights come from her experience and her expertise. She has processed so much of what most people who have lived with emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse need to walk through in order to move into a new space of healing and peace within.

Great conversation! How about vulnerability? It doesn't always feel safe when you're with a #Hijackal, does it? Listen as we discuss the balance between fear and trust, and how to achieve it.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why it is important to know what story is tied to the physical sensations you experience
What is it that drives your fears, beliefs, and challenges with communication, and with others
Susan Dascenzi's 5 part Truth Process
How Susan dealt with the abuse of an ex-husband
How Susan learned to see toxic situations and toxic people as gifts
How you can protect yourself from the #Hijackal toxicity
How to be aware of your own issues that need healing
Why Susan says emotions are illusions and the truth is a lie

GUEST: SUSAN DASCENZI

Susan L. Dascenzi, MSW, VSTCLP, LCSW

Licensed Psychotherapist – Coach – Author – Speaker

Susan L. Dascenzi, “The Possibilities Curator,” has invested the last 27 years guiding her clients in shattering limiting beliefs, negative conditioning, and overcoming past experiences to become the conscious creator of an infinitely powerful life. Her Infinite Possibilities framework, developed after she experienced six sexual assaults that nearly ended her life, has empowered both her, and her clients, to thrive in the face of tremendous obstacles.

She is a co-author in Pebbles in the Pond—Wave 4 alongside Neale Donald Walsch and Marci Shimoff. Susan’s book, based on her Infinite Possibilities framework, is currently in the editing phase of production. Her naturally vulnerable and authentic speaking style endears her audiences as she uses personal and professional stories, analogies, and humor to destroy the

long-held beliefs that rob people of their power and future. A highly-regarded human behavior and emotions expert, she inspires and uplifts while honoring others with compassion, grace, and tenderness.

SUSAN DASCENZI has gifts for you: The Secret to Loving Yourself: A Guide to Emotional Resiliency

Learn more at this guest's website

Enjoy on YouTube

Follow on LinkedIn

Listen to my PODCAST, Save Your Sanity

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#lisacherny #getreal #liveyourbestlife #createyourbestbusiness #bebrave #bebold #step #www.GFR.life

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Housebound With A Hijackal? 4 Life-Saving, Immediate Antidotes To Their Toxicity

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 03:25:07 GMT

Still stuck with too much time up close and personal with a #narcissistic #Hijackal? That can be so difficult!

They can be such emotional vampires, sucking energy out of every room.

And, you end up getting way too much exercise walking on eggshells!

This is the third in this Housebound With A Hijackal. In previous parts of this series, I've suggested never poke a #Hijackal. That just makes sense: they rage, threaten, or demean and it's just not worth it. Nothing moves forward. Today, I'm taking four things that #Hijackals do, and giving you internal antidotes--things you can do within yourself--to neutralize the external toxicity of the Hijackal. You know, those toxic demeaning, devaluing, discounting, dismissive ways along with the raging torrents of words and energy that are usually quite out of proportion with what's actually happening!

Knowing that you have effective tools in your toolkit for those moments when a Hijackal dances on your last nerve is empowering...if you remember to use the tools. There is that, right? lol

These four strategies will help you always, even when you're not housebound with a Hijackal. I think you'll find such relief that you'll use them often. I hope you will, that's for sure.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What to do when complaining, blaming, and shaming come at you #narcissisticabuse
Recognizing gaslighting
An exercise to empower you when a #Hijackal wants to define your reality for you
Understanding true assertiveness and how to express it well
How to take charge of your breath and use it to modify your state
Affirmations to help you stay present and positive in the face of negativity and blame

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Be Unapologetically You To Live Your Best Life & Business Guest: LISA CHERNEY

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 17:31:44 GMT

Sometimes, we play small. We hide out.

Sometimes, we get into relationships that want to control us, to overshadow us, to keep us small.

AND, sometimes, we just get an irresistible new idea of what is possible and we allow ourselves to run with it.

GOOD NEWS: If any of those are true for you, you'll be inspired by this conversation with Lisa Cherney, and motivated to look at what's possible for you!

Usually on Save Your Sanity, I'm talking with folks who are in, or have been in, a toxic relationship. Today, I'm bringing you inspiration, motivation, encouragement, and clear steps to not only see the future you want, but to have the courage to step into the future you want.

When you've had #Hijackals in your life, you are so used to being limited by them, and by fear of what they think, want, or might do, right? It's natural. It's what the #Hijackal wants to achieve, too. And, you know when you want to step out of what a Hijackal wants you to do, you're going to meet with ridicule and resistance.

Today, INSPIRATION from my friend, Lisa Cherney. She's fabulous, and appears fearless. She talks with me about how she made a HUGE SHIFT in the face significant downside potential. She lets you in on what was really happening within, and how she overcame trepidation, and not an insignificant number of folks saying, "Are you out of your mind?"

BE INSPIRED!

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How Lisa Cherney allowed herself to change course...even though she was wildly successful!
What she had to go through, think through, and work through to make a huge shift in life and business
Lisa's opinion on whether it's best to go cold turkey or slow release
What about toxic naysayers who don't want you to change?
Figuring out how you want your future to FEEL
The downsides of fear-based decision-making
How dealing with difficult people can serve a mission-based business owner

GUEST: LISA CHERNEY

Lisa Cherney, now known as The Queen of Clarity, is host of the ground-breaking confession-based Get F***ing Real show for successful soulful entrepreneurs and founder of the GFR Squad, a lively community that is serious about embracing the GFR lifestyle and living a life without regrets.

In 2014, after 15 years in business, Lisa Cherney got f***ing real and dismantled her successful 7-Figure business as the Juicy Marketing Expert. She was proud of the financial accomplishment, but burdened by the “monster” she created. It did not make her happy. To makes things worse her “6-Figures On Your Terms” events were helping hundreds of entrepreneurs make money fulfilling their mission and her refreshing “Cash Through Clarity” Marketing training was in high-demand around the world.

But Lisa learned that just because something is successful and people like it, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. She always knew she had a low tolerance for not being happy (after all she left a “successful” corporate career, with companies like AT&T and Lipton at age 28), but now she knows her mission is to help other successful and soulful business owners GFR so they can get out of their own way and help more people!

LISA CHERNEY has gifts for you: Her 12 GFR Commandments. You're going to love them!

Learn more at GFR.life

Enjoy on YouTube

Follow on LinkedIn

Listen to Podcast

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#lisacherny #getreal #liveyourbestlife #createyourbestbusiness #bebrave #bebold #step #www.GFR.life

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Housebound With A Hijackal? #2 - 6 Ways to Stay Safer Without Losing Your Cool

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:39:05 GMT

Still being housebound with a #Hijackal during this difficult time? Even after things go back to somewhat normal and the #Hijackal in your house returns to work, you'll be in better shape if you follow these practices now.

If your #Hijackal works from home all the time, you'll find these strategies useful. However, they won't solve the chronic stress and anxiety caused by the need to be hyper-vigilant around a toxic person. You'll need help to navigate the challenges and clarify your thinking to make good long-term decisions.

#Hijackals want to be the ones that make the rules, right? So, being told to stay home when it's not their idea, NOT GOOD!

You will be blamed for everything, even for world events and other things totally beyond your control. You know that's true.

Hijackals take no responsibility for what they say or do. When you remind them of what they said, they tell you you didn't listen well. In fact, they'll say you NEVER listen well. And, of course, they didn't say it. It's your faulty thinking or remembering. Crazy-making!

Now, magnify that by being in a situation where they cannot do what they want? Nightmare!

You need some sanity-saving short-term strategies. These may prove so effective you establish a new long-term pattern. Great!

I know how difficult this time can be when you're trying to cope with being cooped up with a difficult, toxic, self-centered supposed adult. Try these. No magic, but even a little relief will be welcome, I'm sure.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How you can best use this time to practice empowering strategies
Taking charge of where you place your attention
What absolutely won't work
Know this "housebound 24/7" is not going to last forever
Changing your internal conversation to save your sanity
Why it's never a good idea to poke a #Hijackal
Temporary measures to save your sanity

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#houseboundwithnarcissist #homewithahijackal #homewithanarcissist #stuckathome #lockeddown #isolatedwithanarcissist #isolationwithahijackal #staysaferwithanarcissist

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Coping With Being Cooped Up To Avoid Coronavirus GUEST: Dr. David Viegerust

Sat, 28 Mar 2020 23:45:38 GMT

So much information online and in the media right now about the coronavirus!

How do you know what to believe? How do you know what to do to stay safe and healthy in the face of coronavirus?

My guest today, Dr. Dave Vigerust, is a long-time infectious disease and preventative medicine specialist. I'm talking with him because you may well be cooped up with someone who is toxic, pushing your buttons for the sheer joy of having power over you. Or, you may be cooped up with children who are bored and not wanting to listen? Or, other humans who don't seem to want to keep everyone safe.

Dr. Vigerust has the accurate information, the scientific information about this coronavirus and other epidemics in recent memory. This one moves faster! That's why it's so important to listen to someone like Dr. Vigerust to get accurate information.

Be informed about the coronavirus, and how the coronavirus spreads. That way, you can do your part to stop it.

And, if you're cooped up with a toxic person, this episode will give you accurate information to share. Maybe, just maybe, the #Hijackal will listen because s/he wants to live, too!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How much fear is appropriate about coronavirus?
What are the real facts?
What's the difference between an epidemic, an outbreak, and a pandemic?
How fast is coronavirus spreading and what speeds it up?
What precautions are imperative right now?
How long does the virus stay on surfaces?
What is your best practice for when you need to go to get groceries?
How does this compare with other viruses like SARS and H1N1?
How to stay safe and healthy.

GUEST: Dr. David Vigerust

Dave Vigerust, MS., Ph.D. received a bachelor’s degree in Biology and Chemistry from the University of Texas at El Paso, a master’s degree in Microbiology and Immunology from Texas Tech University and a Doctorate in Cellular and Molecular Pathology from Vanderbilt University School of Medicine. Dr. Vigerust conducted post-doctoral research at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Dr. Vigerust completed a second post-doctoral fellowship at Vanderbilt University Medical School in the Department of Pediatrics Disease in the area of molecular biology. Currently, Dr. Vigerust is completing a second master’s degree in Molecular Diagnostics from Arizona State University.

Dr. Vigerust was a faculty member in the Pathology, Immunology and Microbiology Department at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine and a Health Research Scientist in the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs. Most recently, Dr. Vigerust is the Chief Scientific Officer and molecular scientist for a diagnostics laboratory focused around precision medicine, genomics and infectious disease. Dr. Vigerust has published extensively in top tier international journals, presented his research at national and international conferences and is an active editor and reviewer for several prominent journals. Dr. Vigerust has developed several novel molecular diagnostic assays for the prediction of inflammation and cardiovascular risk in patients with diabetes, infectious disease and cancer. Dr. Vigerust speaks often on the subject of precision medicine and was selected as a TEDx speaker in 2016.

Dr. Vigerust currently maintains an Adjunct Assistant Professor position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in the Department of Neurological Surgery and a Clinical Assistant Professor position with the University of Maryland, Eastern Shore School of Pharmacy.

Dr. Vigerust’s academic and research interests focus around areas of precision medicine in the treatment of a broad range of disorders that are driven by inflammation including psychiatric and behavioral disorders, pain, neurooncology and cardiovascular disease.

Dr. David Vigerust has no gifts for you at this time.

Learn more at StrategicBiosciences.com

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#coronavirus #infectiousdiseaseexpert #drdavidvigerust #stayingsafe #stayinghealthy #scientificfactsaboutcoronavirus

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Housebound With A Hijackal? 10 Truths About Them You Can't Change

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 04:01:01 GMT

Housebound with a #Hijackal?

Did the first moment you realized that you might be quarantined with a Hijackal parent or partner send shivers through you?

This is NOT THE TIME to try to work things out or point things out. Difficult though it may be, when you are 24/7 with a #Hijackal, that the time to be the coolest you have ever been!

Difficult, toxic people freak easily. What do they do when they freak? They demand more power and control.

OK, tell them they MUST stay home, and they are going to do two main things: refuse to stay home because "No one is gonna tell me what to do!" or stay home and be miserable, self-centered, and annoying, at a minimum. You know that.

Today, I'm giving you these ten truths clearly so that you will not expect the Hijackal in your life to be different. You won't expect them to change. You'll save yourself the time, effort, anxiety, and stress of hoping they will change.

Home 24/7 with a Hijackal? You'll get all the exercise you need walking on eggshells. These ten truths will help you see how to avoid blowing the roof off...or, at least, do you best to keep things to a dull roar.

Big hugs!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Fears about being housebound with a toxic person
Know what to do to maximize peace
Know what to do to minimize rage
Why expectations need to be low
Why to stay in "Observe" mode to save your sanity
10 basic things that #Hijackals do that you cannot change no matter what you say
What to do while you wait it out. SO IMPORTANT!

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

#housebound #homewithahijackal #homewithanarcissist #stuckathome #lockeddown #isolatedwithanarcissist #isolationwithahijackal

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Complete Communication: What's Needed When You're Sexy, Sassy & Starting Over Guest: Karen Solomon

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 15:00:26 GMT

Left a relationship and wondering about re-entering the dating life?

Getting your courage to date again?

Afraid to step out, or choose wisely?

Need encouragement and inspiration to be self-confident?

Karen Solomon offers some great ideas for Complete Communication that come from the key distinctions between men and women and how some specific, deliberate communication modalities will work for you.

You're starting over in life, leaving a relationship, job, or mindset.

What do you need to think about when starting over in the dating world?

Are you Sexy, Sassy & Starting Over? Or, want to be?

Especially if you are leaving a toxic relationship--a relationship with a #Hijackal--or, you were raised by one, you may be feeling fear, trepidation, and excitement all at once.

Can I do it?

How will I do it?

Is there a good way to prepare to date again?

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Karen's story of discovery and inspiration after divorce
What Complete Communication is and why it's important
What the common denominator among sex, money, and relationships is
How to know when you're ready for transformation
Who are you pleasing and why?
Differences in communication style between men and women

GUEST: Karen Solomon

Karen Solomon, author of Sexy, Sassy & Starting Over, teaches keys to confidence from the bedroom to the boardroom and inspires her clients to create their lives congruent with their deepest needs and desires. Her communication style is bold, edgy, and inspires both men and women to be their authentic, unadulterated selves. She integrates a foundation as a credentialed teacher with over two decades providing image makeovers and relationship coaching for men and women. Karen’s passion, insight and genuine desire to serve, combined with being direct, compassionate and relatable, leave audiences and listeners laughing and loving themselves.

Karen’s long term marriage followed by an amicable divorce combined with decades of personal development with a focus on intimacy and communication have prepared her to assist other in navigating life transitions. A grateful breast cancer survivor, Karen advocates for women going through similar journeys.

Her signature seminar Men, Sex & Money, along with her coaching practice combine to offer real solutions for creating an irresistible next chapter filled with clarity and pleasure. Her presentations result in practical tools to upgrade life and relationships.

Karen Solomon has gifts for you.

Learn more at KarenSolomon.com

Follow on Twitter

Follow on LinkedIn

Listen to Podcast

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#sexsassystartingover #karensolomon #datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafterbeinghurt #couragetodateagain

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How Not To Settle For Less In Life And Love - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 08 Mar 2020 18:21:49 GMT

If you're with a relentlessly difficult, toxic person (a #Hijackal), or were raised by one, it's likely you'll be feeling somewhat trapped, suffocated, limited, or held back. Let's start today to change that.

FOMO! Lots of talk about FOMO these days: the Fear Of Missing Out.

What are you missing out on just now?

If it's love, freedom, possibilities, and joy, it's time to rethink, right?

Today, I'm talking about these kinds of FOMO, and what you can do to allay your fears and step into the life you'd like to create:

Do you want your life to be one way, and it consistently show up another way/
Does there never seem to be enough time to get it together?
Do you know what you're afraid of missing out on?
Do you know what holds you back from grabbing it, or why it never seems to be within reach?

Sound at all familiar? The good news is that you can start with recognizing these things and then move on to creating the life you actually want, and I'm here to help.

It's not wise to make huge decisions quickly. I advocate small, positive, doable changes. That's what I write about in my book, Kaizen For Couples. Even if you're not in a couple now, this book will help you see what's possible and necessary to do to have the best relationship possible with yourself and others. It's not just for couples! These strategies work everywhere...even at work.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Imagining a full, rich, free life of your choosing. It's possible!
3 unnecessary ways you might be missing out
How to step beyond limitations you may be feeling
Why Dr. Shaler suggests not believing a "you can have it all" claim...and, what she does believe about it
4 things you can take charge of to create the life you want
Getting beyond #Hijackal relationships and reclaiming yourself
Free yourself to start taking small, doable steps towards the life you want

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#liveyourbestlife #nolimitsliving #freeyourselffromlimitation #limitingbeliefs #emotionalhealing #embracepossibilities #lifeafteremotionalabuse

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Why Narcissists Exploit And Laugh At Your Vulnerabilities Guest: KIM SAEED

Thu, 05 Mar 2020 06:21:05 GMT

Hijackals, narcissists, and other toxic difficult people are mean.

In tender moments, they make you feel safe to tell them your innermost secrets, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. Then, they turn those into weapons! They laugh at you, make jokes about your insecurities in front of others, and exploit your vulnerabilities to their advantage. Sound familiar?

Hijackals want to have the upper hand at all times. Maybe, you share something that embarrassed you, or share something that scares you, or share something you are afraid of. It feels like a tender moment, and you SO want it to be the intimacy that you long for. You want that emotional closeness. It's what you've been waiting for.

Imagine how they rub their hands with glee when you share something with them that puts you in a vulnerable light, or a bad light! They weaponize your insecurities and expose you, blame you, or shame you. They particularly like to do it in public when they hope you'll let it pass without speaking up.

WHY? What's up with these people?

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Learn three kinds of empathy that can help with understanding the Hijackal behavior
How Hijackals learn what to do to get what they want from you
Why Hijackals are scornful of your vulnerabilities--even though they encourage you to share them
What the biggest misconceptions about Hijackals--including those narcissists--is
Why narcissists seem to hate you but won't let you go easily

GUEST: Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of the Kind bestseller, How To Go No Contact Like A Boss.

In How To Go No Contact Like A Boss, Kim Saeed wrote,

"During the detox from a toxic relationship, it's very common for those in recovery to ruminate obsessively over their ex and the events that led to the disintegration of the relationship. This results from addiction to the reward-and-punishment peptides that the victim's brain formed during the course of the relationship. Obsessive thinking is often the result of your subconscious mind's attempt to re-abuse you in the absence of your toxic partner. simply in order to get those peptides flowing again."

Kim Saeed has a gift for you. The Beginner's Healing Toolkit

Learn more at LetMeReach.com

Listen to Podcast

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#laughatyourinsecurities #needpowerover you #narcissistslaughatyou #kimsaeed #letmereach #exploitvulnerabilities

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Emotional Manipulation: When Hijackals Hide Venom In Chocolate - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 18:11:10 GMT

Toxic people--emotional manipulators--have an absolute need to win.

They NEED to have power over you in order to feel safe in their world.

That's their problem. Don't make it yours.

To get power over you, Hijackals are masters of emotional manipulation. And, they serve it up two ways: smooth or aggressive. Smooth approaches catch you off guard because you so want to believe them and enjoy the love and peace. Aggressive approaches make you fearful and unable to think clearly in the moment. Therefore, masters of manipulation!

Hijackals are always homing their skills of emotional manipulation. If you've had a toxic parent--a #Hijackal parent, you may be so used to the games that you don't notice them at first. After today's episode, you will. Don't spend a second beating yourself up for not seeing it, just pick yourself up, face in a new direction (away), and make some new decisions.

You don't deserve to be the prey of a #Hijackal predator. You need to see emotional manipulation

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Examples to help you recognize emotional manipulation
Why #Hijackals need to win
Why you need to discard your rose-colored glasses
Dr. Shaler shares some examples of emotional manipulation from her earlier life
Why you need to believe your gut instincts
Why not to override those gut instincts
Seeing the emotional manipulators need to dominate
Strengthen your resolve to step away

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionalmanipulation #emotionalmanipulators #emotionalabuse #needtodominate #saynotoabuse #believeyourinstincts #listentoyourgut

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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The Power of Self-Validation After Abuse - GUEST: Dr. Audrey Hope

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 19:30:52 GMT

Key to recovery after emotional abuse is learning to care deeply about yourself again. Whether you call it self-esteem or self-love, it's essential to self-confidence. In today's episode, Dr. Audrey Hope and I have an in-depth conversation about finding that self-love to empower yourself to recover from abuse. That is the pathway to the power of self-validation!

Sometimes, hearing the term "self-love" seems like white noise: you just don't really hear it anymore. You know it's a good idea but, you gloss over it with your mind. Stop today and rethink that with the ideas we're discussing.

Ever had the thought that you're not enough? Maybe there was a person--or persons--in your life who dedicated his or herself to making you feel small, worthless, inadequate, and insufficient.

Now, it's time to recover, claim your personal power, and you can. Those nasty #Hijackals--whether your parent or a partner--were wrong. #Hijackals feed from what they strip away from you: self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence, sense of self, and your sense of value. They were serving their own needs to have power over you. Take it back.

In today's episode, you'll get great insights into just how to reclaim the power of self-validation!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Dr. Hope's take on self-esteem
Is self-esteem different from self-love?
Where is the root of personal power?
How to connect to your Authentic Self
Why setting boundaries is important to "becoming sovereign" within yourself
What self-validation is
How to self-validate
Manifesting true love
Why it's important to not settle for crumbs in a relationship, and how to get the full meal deal!

GUEST: Dr. Audrey Hope

Audrey Hope, D.D. is an award-winning certified addiction therapist and holds a Doctor of Divinity degree, who uses her abilities as a clairvoyant psychic medium to heal patients from trauma.

A multi-talented force in the healing arts for over 20 years, Audrey Hope’s gentle-but-firm approach in addiction and relationships gets to the ‘root of the root’ to solve problems through spiritual modalities as she guides patients to freedom using a new frontier of healing to achieve inner peace.

She has her own practice in the heart of Brentwood, CA, is the host of her weekly YouTube advice show “Hope For Relationships,” and is also an addiction therapist at Seasons In Malibu rehab facility.

Learn more at AudreyHope.com

Listen to Podcast - Dr. Hope does not have a podcast at this time.

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#selfvalidation #selflove #selfloveafterabuse #selfvalidationafterabuse #settingboundaries ##authenticself #draudreyhope #manifestingtruelove

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Why Hijackals Hate and Humiliate - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Tue, 25 Feb 2020 19:47:50 GMT

Hate and Humiliation often go together. ? #Hijackals--relentlessly difficult, toxic people--hate and humiliate to get the upper hand in relationships...AND to make you feel bad about yourself especially in front of other people. It’s nasty! Listen in to understand the double standards of enjoying watching other people be humiliated on Reality TV or Celebrity Roasts, yet hating to be the object of humiliation ourselves. Then, make better decisions about what to do about your relationship with a #Hijackal!

#Narcissists and other #Hijackals hate to see you happy. They resent it and too often take swings at you--in every way--to take you down and make you as unhappy as they are inside. Yes, they may appear confident and in control, but inside they are conflicted and concerned every minute.

Hijackals work on the premise that making others feel small, miserable, angry, unhappy, and demeaned will assure and secure their power and control. Hence, they use hate and humiliation to accomplish that. Again, nasty!

If you are in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or co-worker that you now recognize is based on underlying hate and the need and desire to humiliate, it's time to take action and get help. That is not OK on any level.

You deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship based on honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why we laugh when other people are humiliated
What "celebrity roasts" are really about and why you need to know
How deprecating supposedly humor takes the heat off the speaker
How hate and humiliation too often go together
Clearly seeing why #Hijackals hate and humiliate
Know why you cannot tolerate hateful comments and broadsiding humiliation from a Hijackal
Schadenfreude: the tendency to take delight in the misery of others
Throwing shade: clever and humiliating

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#hate #humiliate #whyanarcissisthates #whyanarcissisthumiliates #humiliationisnothumor #humiliatingpeople #hijackalhate

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Breadcrumb Dating: How It's Related to Insecurity & Toxicity GUEST: Tracy Crossley

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 17:49:16 GMT

Dating? Getting back in the dating scene? Does it scare you these days? All this talk--and experience--of breadcrumb dating, ghosting, insecurity, toxicity, safety in relationships? My guest, Tracy Crossley, specializes in helping you to be aware of unhealthy dating patterns and how to change them. Breadcrumb dating needs to be recognized immediately and shut down. Learn today to save yourself unnecessary pain while dating.

Tracy Crossley cautions, "Sex is not emotional intimacy." Sometimes, you can hope that it is--or, at least, is the beginning of emotional intimacy. It's not! Often, the earlier you have sex in a relationship the more likely it is that you will experience breadcrumb dating. Save yourself that pain!

If you've ever been in a toxic relationship, you are likely to be afraid of dating these days.

Who can I trust?

Can I trust myself to choose a healthy relationship?

Breadcrumb dating is what you likely fear the most because it will mimic the emotional abuse you have already experienced. Do you know what "breadcrumb dating" actually is? An experience you don't want! Today we talk about recognizing these patterns and possibilities just in case you run into them. So then you can run away!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is "breadcrumb dating?"
What does breadcrumb dating have to do with attachment styles?
Hear Tracy Crossley's story
How breadcrumb dating triggers fear of abandonment
Why sex is not emotional intimacy
How you can stop doing things that make you feel bad
Learning to be honest and vulnerable without punishing yourself
What is an "insecure attachment" and how does it look in relationship?

GUEST: Tracy Crossley

Tracy is a Behavioral Relationship Expert and Podcast Host who works with individuals to help transform their dating habits by breaking unhealthy cycles of dating. With a background in psychology, an innate emotional intuition, and drawing from her own personal experience, Tracy helps her clients break the patterns that keep them trapped in the repetition of unhealthy singlehood and relationships.

Learn more at TracyCrossley.com

Listen to Podcast

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#breadcrumbdating #ghosting #tracycrossley #toxicdating #recognizingatoxicperson #datingonline #toxicity

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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The Hijackal Haze: How Hormones Keep You Hooked on Hijackals and Hope

Sun, 09 Feb 2020 19:26:12 GMT

Hooked on the rush of falling in love?

Hooked on the feeling of not being able to get enough of another human?

Wonder why you want to go running back to the nasty human you knew to leave?

It's all about hormones at the most basic level. Your body has its own agenda. It wants you to not think too much so you'll have babies. Yes, I know that sounds a bit simplistic, but it's true. Your hormones go into overdrive. Your hormones override your recognition of danger--emotional danger, physical danger, sexual danger.

When hormones get involved, even your risk-taking concerns are overridden!

#Cortisol, #dopamine, #serotonin, and #oxytocin all play a significant part in how you get hooked on #Hijackals! Once you recognize this, and really think about it, you can begin to override your body's urges, and overrule the hormone's effects with logical thinking.

No, I'm not suggesting you give up the joys of falling in love and get all too practical! I'm suggesting that it's best to recognize how your body wants to move towards procreating, and makes you somewhat brain dead to the red flags and toxic signs. You don't want that. You want to be more in charge.

Yes, you would likely like to let yourself go down the rabbit hole of falling for the latest #Hijackal. You know that goes nowhere but into a land of hurt, right?

Yes, you'd like to believe the #Hijackal when s/he comes back, love-bombing, saying all the right things to hook you on the hope they've changed. Engage brain at that moment. Recognize your hormones are triggered. Step back.

Today's episode can save you from that world of hurt by reducing it to the few weeks of withdrawal required to unhook yourself. Listen in.

best regards,

Rhoberta

Want to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How hormones reduce your ability to think clearly
Hormones make risk-taking more attractive and acceptable
What hormones do to your ability to make decisions
Why you get hooked on #Hijackals
Why you get hooked on hope that #Hijackals will change
Why you want to go back to an abusive relationship
Why you must take charge and understand your body to keep yourself safe in all ways

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#hookedonhormones #hormonesandabuse #hookedonhijackals #fallinginlove #hormonesandfallinginlove #oxytocin #cortisol #dopamine #serotonin #highlevelsofhormones

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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10 Signs of a Pathological Liar & How to Respond - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 23:19:07 GMT

"I know I'm being lied to, but I want it to be true." I hear that so often from clients. I understand that they are so hooked on hope that the person they fell in love with would never lie to them that they believe the lies.

Often, they are so exhausted from being in a relationship with a #Hijackal that they don't have the energy to deal with the lying.

In today's episode, I'm offering you ten signs of a pathological liar so that you can step back and see if you really have on in your life. That's a good first step.

Then, you can hear my thoughts on why they lie. It is very organic, and fundamental to their nature, to lie bold faced. Pathological liars seldom even think about lying. They need to win or be right in the moment, and they'll do whatever it takes in that minute to achieve it. Sound familiar?

Then, when you catch them saying something different about the same thing they lied about yesterday, learn why it is never productive to point it out. And, learn what you can do differently when you know that you are dealing with a #pathologicalliar.

best regards,

Rhoberta

Want to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Difference between white lies and pathological lies
10 reasons pathological liars will not tell the truth
Most common lies of #Hijackals and other pathological liars
What not to do when being lied to by a #Hijackal or #pathologicalliar
What to focus on when you are being lied to
How best to respond and how not to respond to a pathological liar

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#pathologicalliar #signsofapathologicalliar #beingliedto # #narcissistslie #howtostopthelying #Iknowheslying #iknowsheslying #confrontinglies #respondtoaliar

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How to Stop Letting Someone Lie To You - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 01:19:10 GMT

#Hijackals manipulate. Therefore, Hijackals lie.

Whether that #Hijackal is narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social, it doesn't matter. They will lie.

Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic people--want the outcomes they want. Therefore, they deceive you.

Deceiving you means causing you to believe something that is not true usually to gain some personal advantage. Typical of Hijackals, right? They must win. Therefore, you must lose. To them, anything that helps them win is fair game.

I know you want to believe the lies. The Hijackal is often telling you what you want to hear with little intention of giving you what you want to receive. They know the edges, and often overstep them.

Don't be in denial. A narcissist does NOT have your best interests at heart. NO! Hijackals have their best interests at heart. They even put their own interests over what's best for their children. Nasty!

So, it's time to step up and stop accepting the lies!

No, don't tell them they are wrong. Don't tell them they are lying. You already know that just causes more fury.

Recognize the ways you have let them lie to you and why. (I'll help with that, so listen.)

Understand why #Hijackals lie.

Face the truth. See it as it is.

Examine your options.

Take action.

In a few weeks, I'll be doing another episode on ways to confront the lying and NOT blow things up. Subscribe and stay tuned.

best regards,

Rhoberta

Want to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. .

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What deception really is
Usual reasons for not confronting the lies narcissists tell
What stops you from stepping up to the truth
Why #Hijackals® lie
Why you let them
Big four steps to stop the lies

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#beingliedto #knowImbeingliedto #narcissistslie #howtostopthelying #Iknowheslying #iknowsheslying #confrontinglies

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Discarded By A Hijackal? 10 Ways To Resist The Pull To Return - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 20:41:19 GMT

You've likely turned yourself into a pretzel to please a toxic person. That's what they want.

You can stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a decade, and you cannot please them beyond a hot minute when they really want something for you.

Notice that!

You were discarded. Not your idea. Not your choice. Not your timing.

You're unhappy and focused on what you've lost. That's natural.

BUT, you're out! Being discarded by a narcissist, or a person who narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies, never feels good. But, you can feel much better when you focus on the ten ways to resist the urge to return to a toxic relationship!

Being discarded may have been your worst fear, but look! You're still alive, breathing and all. And, doing all that good stuff in spite of the fact that the #Hijackal, the #narcissist, the #sociopath discarded you. Great start!

Feel the pain, but don't wallow in it. There's a difference. Acknowledge the pain. Give it a name. Recognize the source.

Then, turn around, face forward, and realize that, no matter how you got there, you're out of the emotional abuse! Yay!

The pull to return to a toxic person can be great, overwhelming even. It's what you know. It may be what your early life trained you to believe you deserve. Not true! You deserve SO much more than emotional abuse!

Listen to these ten ways to resist going back to a toxic person, a #Hijackal! Listen again...and, again...and....as many times as necessary to not go back.

You now have the opportunity to be free of ridicule, blame, put-downs, insignificance, and begging for crumbs of affection. Woo-hoo!

best regards,

Rhoberta

Want to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why discard hurts so much
What you can take charge of
What you actually deserve much more than you have received
How being discarded can be the best thing ever
10 ways to resist returning to a narcissist by focusing on moving forward

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#discardedbyahijackal #resisttheurgetoreturn #discarded #discardedinrelationship #resistreturning ##healthyrelationshipwithyourself

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How to Create Good Relationship Habits Once the Hijackal is Gone

Sun, 12 Jan 2020 04:11:31 GMT

You made it! You have ended the relationship with the toxic, difficult person, the #Hijackal!

Good for you! You know what is best for you, and your family.

It takes too long to be truly free from a #Hijackal. (I know because I help people do that all around the world via video conferencing.) And, you've done it.

Or, you've at least moved away from the person physically. Your emotions may take awhile to catch up. That's normal.

So, when you find yourself second-guessing the breakup--because that happens too frequently--I'm giving you six habits to focus on to have the happier, healthier life you want. Pick up your mind when in travels back to #Hijackal Land, and bring it to these six habits. It will help, I promise.

When you've been with a toxic person, toxicity rubs of on you a little. You might be edgy, maybe even a little hyper-vigilant still. Quick to feel angry, or quick to feel defeated. That's normal. What to do? Focus on these six things. (You're getting it, right? These six things are important! )

New habits take practice. You know there is a big difference between talking about something and actually doing it! In that same way, there is a big difference between having information and actually turning it into knowledge. Knowledge is information that you have taken into your body, mind, heart, and soul and it shows up as changed behavior!

Six changes in behavior for you to focus on feel more confident, secure, and healthy. They are simple, AND they work. Enjoy!

best regards,

Rhoberta

Want to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Refocusing yourself after the toxic person is gone
Knowing the difference between information and knowledge
Staying conscious of what you're moving towards
Six steps on the journey to being who you most want to be
Having the life you want, and the relationships you value

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#leavingahijackal #leavinganarcissist #divorcinganarcissist #afterthedivorce #healthyrelationshiphabits #healthyrelationshipwithyourself

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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DRAMA: Who needs it??

Sat, 04 Jan 2020 23:07:01 GMT

Drama! It keeps you walking on eggshells, wondering when the next supposedly offence on your part will be jumped on. Or, an event will be blown out of proportion. That event may or not have actually happened, right?

Accepting responsibility for allowing drama to continue in your life is the first step to putting an END to it. I know, the other person does create it. You may be allowing it, even enabling drama in your relationship.

The patterns and persistence of drama and manipulation in a relationship are not hard to spot. What can be hard is deciding where your boundary is, expressing it, and holding it strong. You may have to add non-negotiable consequences if that boundary is crossed or disrespected.

Listen in and learn about expressing your boundaries in effective ways.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

YouTube: ForRelationshipHelp

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

#boundaries #expressingboundaries #holding boundaries #toomuchdrama #explosivepartner

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Finding Clarity in the Midst of Hijackal® Chaos & Confusion Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 29 Dec 2019 05:11:27 GMT

Keeping you in chaos, confusion, and uncertainty is a hallmark of a #Hijackal®.

They do it to keep you on guard and off balance.

That's a very shaky combination that destroys any possibility of stability in a relationship!

Recognizing when a Hijackal is trying to control you (which is always) is an important skill to have for taking back your personal power and sense of self. It's particularly important when that uncertainty has come to feel "normal." There is nothing normal about it, but it is the way #Hijackals roll. You might need to "roll" away!

You may find it difficult to clear your head and examine how you really feel at this point.

You've likely been told you're wrong so many times that you've come to believe it. You may have been told everything is your fault so many times you've come to think it's true. If either of those things are true for you right now, this is the perfect time to listen in and gather some insights and strengths.

Clarity is required. Being with a #Hijackal--maybe a #narcissist--leaves your head spinning.

Because you are a good person, you've likely given the Hijackal the benefit of the doubt too many times. You've excused his/her behavior repeatedly. You've justified their crazy-making more times than is healthy. Actually, once is enough!

It's time to stop. Today's episode is a good place to start.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

YouTube: ForRelationshipHelp

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

#chaosinrelationship #controlinrelationship #uncertaintyinrelationship #keepingcontrol

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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Are the Holidays Duty, Dread or Delight? 3 Empowering Tips - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sat, 21 Dec 2019 16:08:03 GMT

Holidays or any celebration can be stressful. It may be exciting--which is stressful in itself--and it may be distressful.

Give yourself permission to recognize and act on the three empowering tips for surviving the holidays with other humans.

In fact, these three tips will always help you feel empowered.

Are the holidays duty, dread, or delight for you?

Can you look forward to any celebration, without concern that it will be ruined by others?

If you have a #Hijackal parent or a #Hijackal partner or ex, you know there is downside potential.

You likely cannot control anyone in your life, nor would you want to. (Kids excluded, of course...lol)

You also don't want to be controlled.

You're an adult and you have choices, right? You also don't want your happiness in other peoples' hands. It isn't, but often, folks think that it is. Happiness is an inside job. Place yourself in places, and situations where you can be happy. Remove yourself from situations where you historically cannot find happiness.

I know that sound simple, and is anything but easy. That's why I've given you these three insights today, and I hope you will take them to heart.

#Hijackals want to be the center of attention--whether they are present or not! They simply feed on having the power to control people and situations. They can refuse to come to something, or come and demand center stage. Still, they will be the topic of conversation. Just what they want.

Use these three empowering insights to stay centered and calm, and away from potentially volatile situations. You're an adult, right? You can choose. I hope you'll choose in favor of peace, happiness, and joy!

--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

3 Empowering Tips to help you be more centered and calm in the holidays
How to take care of yourself around toxic people
Know that you can choose JOMO over FOMO
Control what is within your control--you--and leave the rest

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

#narcissisticparent #Hijackalparent #toxicparents #toxicparenting #toxicpartner #toxicparent

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Insightful Conversation with Patricia Evans, Author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship

Sun, 15 Dec 2019 06:28:19 GMT

What a pleasure and honor to have this deep conversation with Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship. !

Patricia Evans stepped up, spoke up, and spoke out about verbal abuse. Her first book--with four following--is a tribute to her indomitable spirit and unwillingness to stay silent about this gateway behavior.

Before a partner hits you, you will have been verbally abused: demeaned, discounted, dismissed, blamed, manipulated, and deceived. Domestic violence starts with verbal abuse.

Toxic relationships are verbally abusive. In today's episode, we talk about the aspects of verbal abuse, and Patricia offers insights and strategies to recognize it, and find the strength to move away from it.

If you have ever been verbally abused, or think you might be right now, you need to listen now.

ABOUT PATRICIA EVANS:

An internationally recognized Interpersonal Communications Specialist, Patricia Evans draws upon research of more than thirty thousand cases of verbally abusive relationships. She speaks and conducts workshops throughout the country.

Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute, now, EICI, Inc., Patricia offers workshops and training programs. She has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness, starting with her landmark book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond(1992). Newsweek commended her for it, saying that the expanded edition in 1996 was “A groundbreaking new book.”

Patricia Evans has spoken on the devastating effect of this secret form of control on more than two hundred radio programs, and seventeen national television shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, Sonya Live—CNN and News Talk.

Find Patricia Evan's work at VerbalAbuse.com

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#verballyabused #verbalabuse #verballyabusive #patriciaevans

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #verbalabuse #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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How Having a Hijackal Parent Can Mess With Your Life & Relationships

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 02:31:52 GMT

When you have a #Hijackal® parent, you tend to model their traits, or be set up to be the unwitting "prey" for other predators like them. Having a #Hijackal parent can turn you into "Hijackal Bait." Hijackals are attracted to you, and you are attracted tot hem.

Why? Because they seem so familiar. You feel somehow comfortably uncomfortable with them...at least for the first while.

Having a Hijackal parent often means that you become the Golden Child in the family, the one who can do no wrong. Or, the Scapegoat, the one who can do nothing right.

It's important to realize the potential pitfalls for life and relationship that having a Hijackal parent set you up to take. It certainly wasn't your fault, and you did not create. It's important, though, to recognize what actually happened to you.

Today's episode gives you some insights into this.

Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my online Emerging Empowered community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Insights into motives of toxic parents
What you may not realize about your upbringing
Why #Hijackals must make you wrong
Why you might take on too much blame in life

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#narcissisticparent #Hijackalparent #toxicparents #toxicparenting

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Steps to Keep You Safer Around Hijackals & Other Toxic Folks. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 01:52:26 GMT

Difficult, defensive, and destructive behaviors can turn into dangerous ones! These six steps to keep you safer around toxic people, around #Hijackals, are absolutely vital to recognize and take. Keep yourself safer!

In today's episode, I'm defining "dangerous" as dangerous to your well-being in all ways, and to your children's well-being and best interests. I give you six vital questions to ask yourself--honestly ask yourself--and honestly answer.

When you're with a toxic person, you are likely to make excuses for their behavior, rationalize or justify their behavior. Time to stop doing that. And, time to look at your relationship with honest eyes. You need to see what's really happening, not what you wish was happening, right?

Toxic relationships depend on you putting up with verbal and emotional abuse. If you were not willing to, you would not be in the relationship. I know that sounds very harsh and matter-of-fact. You would only put up with these behaviors if you had been taught to, and I want to open you up to see that it is NOT NECESSARY to put up with being treated like anything less than the valuable human you are.

None of us are perfect, and we ARE valuable. You deserve to be treated with honesty, respect, trust, and reliability. You deserve to be safe.

Sometimes, you might not realize that you have rights and you can expect to be treated with respect and dignity. In a loving relationship, you can also expect to be with an emotionally mature person who wants to create emotional intimacy. That's not unreasonable, although, in my opinion, not enough people go for it!

You are the one who can take steps to keep you and your children safe. Information and education are the beginning, and I'm so glad you're listening to this podcast. Enjoy all the other episodes, too, and shore up your knowledge, AND your self-confidence, too!

Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

6 invaluable questions to ask yourself, and answer honestly
6 steps to keep yourself safer when you're around a toxic person, a #Hijackal
Why #Hijackals are not driven by logic
Signs of potential trouble when you're with a controlling person
Why it is essential to whip off the rose-colored glasses and see that a difficult person can actually be a dangerous person

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#staysafe #personalsafety #emotionalsafety #keepyourselfsafe #stepstostopabuse #notoabuse #hijackalfree

#saveyoursanity #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Mind-Games Narcissists Play to Confuse & Gaslight You.

Sun, 24 Nov 2019 17:56:20 GMT

CRAZY-MAKING! That's what these ten mind-games are!

#Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic people in life must always win. You've noticed that, right?

They have to be right, make your wrong, and have their way.

That why it is important to recognize these ten mind-games narcissists play to confuse you. Narcissists want you to live in uncertainty. They want the ground beneath your feet to be constantly shifting. AND, they want to be in control of those shifts.

When you come to clearly see what a #narcissist is up to, what a #Hijackal is up to, you will be able to make clearer decisions about your next best steps. When you're too worn down to see these things, get some help. I'm always here to help you. BeAClient.com

Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

All or Nothing Thinking
Love-bombing Flattery
"Don't Be Different"
Convenient Half-Truths
The "I'm Just Kidding/You're Too Sensitive" Gambit
Generalizations and Cliches
Smear Campaigns
"The Plausability Ploy"
Exploiting Vulnerabilities
Playing on Your Emotions

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#co-parenting #co-parentingwithnarcissist #putthechildrenfirst #parentingwithanarcissist

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Co-Parenting With a Narcissist Without Losing Your Mind. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 17 Nov 2019 19:27:33 GMT

You've divorced a #narcissist, a #Hijackal®. That was difficult, no doubt.

Now, you're settling in--or trying to settle in--to some kind of reasonable co-parenting model. That's tough, too.

I know, I've done it.

It's not easy to co-parent with a #narcissist.

It's not what you expected to have to do.

You're still resentful about the relationship, and devastated by the divorce.

BIG RULE: Never make your children feel like pawns, messengers, or casualties of your divorce.

Yes, that's tough, too, but it is SO important.

In a perfect world, after divorce, your children would only know that life is more peaceful with two homes, and that they miss the parent they are not with. That's it. That's how it should go.

When you have divorced a narcissist, that's not the way it goes, right?

In this episode, I'm giving you the 5 IDEALS for conscious co-parenting

AND, the 10 REALITIES of co-parenting with a narcissist, co-parenting with a Hijackal.

I promised in the episode to give you the five positive affirmations to keep in mind here in writing.

I am the model I want my children to follow. Therefore, everything I do and say demonstrates who I want my children to strive towards becoming.
I communicate with my ex in the way I wish for him/her to communicate with me. I choose collaboration and conversation, over conflict and acrimony.
I focus on my children and what keeps them healthy--physically, mentally, and emotionally. That includes doing what is in their best interests first.
I turn my attention from what I don't like about my ex to what s/he does well for the children. It's about the kid, not what my personal issues are with my ex.
I allow my children to enjoy their childhood and ensure they're only concerned with age-appropriate thoughts, feelings, and actions. I protect them from being pawns, messengers, and casualties of my divorce.

I clarify the realities of co-parenting with toxic people, and give you ten insights that will help you save your santiy.

Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

5 Ideals of Co-parenting
10 Realities of Co-parenting with a narcissistic #Hijackal
How to keep your head above water while saving your sanity when co-parenting
Why and How to be the most sane parent in the narcissist mix

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#co-parenting #co-parentingwithnarcissist #putthechildrenfirst #parentingwithanarcissist

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bait-and-Switch! How Hijackals Use Sex As a Weapon

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 05:30:11 GMT

BAIT-AND-SWITCH!

That's an illegal activity in the U.S. and many other countries, when it comes to advertising great deals.

It would be SO good, if it were illegal when it comes to #Hijackals everywhere, too.

In advertising terms, bait-and-switch is described as a scam that entices people with a great product of high quality at a very attractively low price. Once a person buys it, they find that they got a low-quality substitute with a no-return policy.

Doesn't that remind of you of how you become ensnared by a #Hijackal? You're love-bombed, made to believe you are the most amazing creature on earth and that the Hijackal would go to the ends of the earth for you.

Hijackals move quickly. You've likely seen graphics on Facebook that remind you that no one falls in love more quickly than a narcissist who has lost a job and has nowhere to stay. Whether or not that was your case, the Hijackal wants to move quickly: fall in love, move in, get pregnant, borrow money, wham! That's to establish control.

By the time the picture starts to come clearly out of the "love haze", and into focus, you don't want to see it. You want to believe the love-bombing. And, then, the abuse begins.

Does this sounds familiar? Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How sex is often used once the love-bombing stage is over
Why you don't want to believe the bait-and-switch
How something that seems so intensely wonderful could go so intensely wrong
How #Hijackals use sex as a weapon
Why #Hijackals can never get enough power over you
How withholding or demanding sex is often part of coercive control

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!

#sexasaweapon #baitandswitch #lovebombing #partnerrape #intimateterrorism #narcissisttactics

#coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is Your Parent or Partner Emotionally Impaired? :.

Tue, 29 Oct 2019 21:21:05 GMT

Emotionally Impaired? There's no breathalyzer for that! So, how do you know some is?

Every now and then, each one of us may be a little incapacitated by life events. There can be temporary emotional impairment.

Where the real problems come is when a person is often emotionally impaired, or more difficult, usually emotionally impaired!

You cannot have the three hallmarks I suggest every healthy relationship with the possibility of being emotionally mature and emotionally intimate must have:

Equality. Reciprocity. Mutuality.

It's essential to creating healthy relationships that each person examine their own behavior first. It's wise to be aware of our own issues.

If you find yourself have the same interactions with your partner or parent, or the same complaints about him or her, today's episode may help you identify what is going on and what might be causing the problems. Perhaps, s/he is emotionally impaired.

Good news. You can get out of the Hijackal Trap. Read my downloadable ebook, Escaping the Hijackal Trap. You can recover from any symptoms of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. It will take awhile, but you'll recover to live and love and trust again. If you're ready to do that now, let's talk: BeAClient.com

Listen in, and subscribe.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Answers to...

What is emotional impairment?
How do you recognize someone is emotionally impaired?
How would I know if I am emotionally impaired?
What is the impact of being with an emotionally impaired person?
Why is this important to recognize?

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#emotionallyimpaired #emotionallyimmature #needtomature #relationshipskills #communicationskills

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who Cares? Not Hijackals! They're Empathy Deficient.

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 05:38:36 GMT

Are you with someone who is empathy deficient? Someone who shows almost no interest in your thoughts, feelings, needs, or wants?

That could be a parent, partner, ex, sibling, or co-worker.

It's so hard to comprehend when someone doesn't seem to have the interest or the bandwidth to take you into account, right?

Empathy deficiency!

I've done a lot of reading on the topic of empathy, the lack of empathy, and its relationship to narcissistic, psychopathic, sociopathic, and borderline behavior development, as you can imagine. I'm always on a quest to help you understand how these people, relationships, and toxicity happens, and I have to fully understand first.

#Hijackals are empathy deficient! I like the clear definition of empathy that is offered by Simon Baron-Cohen of the University of Cambridge in his book, The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty:

"Empathy is our ability to identify what someone else is thinking or feeling, and to respond to their thoughts and feelings with an appropriate emotion."

It sounds so natural and straightforward, doesn't it? But, for those raised in difficult situations, abusive situations, or toxic homes, there is likelihood that Baren-Cohen says that have empathy allows us to mostly accurately understand and identify where other people "are at."

When a person has experienced incest, child abuse, neglect, violence, or been brought up in a home with alcohol or substance abuse, they were likely raised by people who had low regard for children, and high regard for themselves. These adults in charge of that home were often dismissive, degrading, demanding, or destructive to children. Big damage can be done!

When you find yourself in a relationship with a #Hijackal, you will work much harder at the relationship than the Hijackal. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Know this: the Hijackals lack of empathy, or unwillingness to relate to or care about your thoughts, feelings, perceptions, needs, wants, or much of anything you bring up, has nothing to do with anything you did. Yes, it's currently your problem, but you didn't create it.

AND, you can stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a year, and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY TO GET ANY BETTER for more than an occasional hot minute when the Hijackal wants something or thinks /she is losing you. Know that right down to your bones.

Hijackals are empathy deficient, and you cannot fix that, help with that, or change that! Listen to this episode to understand this "empathy-free" approach to life and relationship more fully.

Listen in, and subscribe.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Answers to...

What is empathy?
How is empathy developed?
How do people become empathy deficient?
Is it likely that an empathy deficient person will change?
Is it my fault #Hijackals behave so thoughtlessly, and often cruelly?

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#empathy #empathydeficient #empathyfree #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Caught in the Hijackal® Trap? Narcissistic Victim Syndrome

Sun, 13 Oct 2019 19:08:31 GMT

The #Hijackal Trap usually closes slowly. At first, everything seems rosy, wonderful, and just what you've always longer for.

Then, it starts to close. Narcissistic behavior is crafty!

You want to believe what you fell in love with was true, so you rationalize, justify, and excuse red flag behaviors.

Did you do that? Are you doing that? That will keep you trapped!

In this episode, I walk you through more than eight clear signs and symptoms that you are caught in the #Hijackal Trap, and hopefully, you'll see them clearly. Once you see them, you can make better decisions for yourself...and, for your children. Until you see them, you may think everything is your fault. At least, that's what the Hijackal has been telling you, right?

When someone tells you something negative about the person who has caused you to listen to this, do you instantly jump to their defense? Or, do you make it all your fault? These are signs you are in the #HijackalTrap

Listen in, and subscribe.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. .

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How does it feel to be caught in the #Hijackal® Trap?
What are the behaviors that #Hijackals use to trap you?
Why it's not your fault, no matter what a Hijackal tells you.
Are you caught up in defending your abuser?
What about the #gaslighting ?
How wanting to be a good person can trip you up in the Hijackal Trap.

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#traumabonding #gaslighting #defendingabuser #narcissisticvictimsyndrome #hijackaltrap #secondguessingmyself #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coercive Control: Sneaky, Subtle & Sadistic Patterns of Domination

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 04:16:14 GMT

Have you heard the term, coercive control? You may not have as it's just slowly coming to awareness. And, it is SO important that it does!

Coercive control is life-sucking!

That's why I've chosen to give you an understanding of the many aspects of coercive control in today's episode. Evan Stark, PhD, coined the term

"coercive control" and he defines it this way,

"...an ongoing pattern of domination by which male abusive partners primarily interweave repeated physical and sexual violence with intimidation, sexual degradation, isolation, and control."

Does any of that sound like something that has happened to you? He writes about men because he says that coercive control is a 'gendered' issue, He writes about this in his paper, Re-Presenting Battered Women: Coercive Control and the Defense of Liberty.

He says,

"The primary outcome of coercive control is a condition of entrapment that can be hostage-like in the harms it inflicts on dignity, liberty, autonomy, and personhood as well as to physical and psychological integrity."

Does this sound familiar in any way to you? Have you felt degraded, diminished, discounted, and devalued by a toxic partner, one of those folks I call #Hijackals®?

Listen in, and subscribe.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What is coercive control?
Why it is a 'gendered' issue?
Why law enforcement as too often failed to look at the repeating patterns of non-physical abuse.
How intimidation fits into coercive abuse.
Why you need to really understand how destructive this and how it breaks you down over time
Why documenting the things that are said, done, and left undone in the relationship is SO important

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do Narcissistic Hijackals Hurt You on Purpose?

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 02:43:37 GMT

So often, clients and members ask me if the relentless difficult, toxic people in their lives are that way on purpose.

Followed closely by the question: does s/he want to hurt me?

Have you wondered if your mean, blaming partner wants to hurt you?

Did you have a #Hijackal parent who told you you were unwanted, or never good enough?

Are you in a toxic relationship now?

#Hijackals are made, not born. A baby may start life with some leanings, but it's the people in their lives and in the world around them as they gron that influence and teach them how to survive. If you have a #Hijackal parent, you will have had lessons in being unsafe, dismissed, invalidated, and at fault. That's what Hijackal parents do.

#Narcissists get offended easily, don't they? #Narcissists are hypersensitive to disrespect, disloyalty, or anyone they think is trying to take something from them. Because they really have no interest in your needs, wants, feelings, or thoughts, they are also not concerned about you. They only care about themselves.

Similarly, narcissistic people don't care much about their children's feelings or needs. They care that they APPEAR to be good parents to the community, but they often do little to BE good parents to their children. I know. It's hard to believe that, but it's too often the truth. Hijackals are only interested in the children reflecting well on them, not on providing stability, love, direction, and care to them.

So, do they intentionally hurt you? Do they do nasty things on purpose? Listen in, and recognize these truths.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What happened in early life to create narcissistic tendencies
Are #Hijackals self-aware?
Why toxic people are actually insecure
Healthier ways to manage toxic relationships
Keeping yourself safe ...and your children
Making sound decisions about relationship

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#intentionallyhurt #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Unlikely Ways to Shut Down a Passive-Aggressive Conversation

Tue, 24 Sep 2019 15:48:38 GMT

Stop playing these shady, passive-aggressive games! Right? It's not that easy.

In this episode, you'll hear three better ways for you to bring clarity to a conversation that is going down that shady, #passiveaggressive path.

If you have a relationship with someone--a friend, parent, sibling, partner, co-worker--whose weapon of choice is a passive-aggressive remark or behavior, you know just what I'm talking about in today's episode. Their comment hits you and, at first, it almost sounds logical, and maybe even justified. But, then you realize that you're confused and strangely annoyed...and, it all happened in a split second.

Passive-aggressive strike!

What a passive-aggressive person says is not neutral. It's charged with underlying anger, often in the form of resentment or entitlement that the speaker may not even recognize or admit to. That anger is often hidden in the way the words are delivered. Sometimes, it's served up while the person looks you straight in the eyes, defying you to make a fuss.

Is this at all familiar?

Then, these three ways to respond that can slowly put an end to either the passive-aggressive behavior, or to them thinking they are ever going to get away with it, will help you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Passive-aggressive words and behaviors are sneaky ways of trying to exert power over you.
Why when one person stops playing the passive-aggressive game, the game has to end.
Why you need to speak up
How to speak up

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#passiveaggressive #stopsneakybehavior #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Staying With a Hijackal Out of Guilt and Duty? Unhealthy Reasons!

Sun, 15 Sep 2019 18:45:53 GMT

I know. You don't want to be accused, or accuse yourself, of abandoning a person. You especially don't want to be accused of abandoning a person in need.

#Hijackals are always in need: in need of you to use, misuse, and abuse. Does that make you want to stay? I hope not.

Would you tell your best friend to stay in a situation like yours? Hmmmm....pause for thought, right?

I'm Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, and I work with individuals and couples from many countries through videoconferencing and I say:

"You cannot remain in a strained relationship with no conceivable healthy future out of a sense of duty, obligation, shame, or guilt."

Do you understand that?

Will you allow yourself to believe that?

Will you, then, entertain the idea that guilt, obligation, and duty are NOT reasons to stay in an unhealthy relationship?

I hope so.

Today's episode is a little hard-hitting--maybe--but that may be what you need today. You may be in the excuse-making business, and there is no profit in that.

Got that? THERE IS NO PROFIT IN THE EXCUSE-MAKING BUSINESS!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you may be reluctant to leave a difficult person
Why you make excuses for another person's behavior too long
Steps to take to making clear decisions about a relationship
How to know when it's time to fold
Why you're not a bad person when you want to leave a person who treats you badly
Understanding the needs of a #narcissist to win

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

#stayingoutofguilt #leavinganarcissist #whyleaveanarcissist #hijackals #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unattachable? Why You Cannot Change the Nature of a Hijackal.

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 04:38:13 GMT

Parents who were emotionally available, perceptive, and responsive to you, to your needs and mental states, are a great gift! They tend to provide you with attachment that is secure. This is an excellent foundation for a healthy emotional life.

Parents who were emotionally unavailable, or inconsistently available, perceptive or response to your needs, and tended to intrude their own states of mind onto you as a tiny child, could create what is called a "resistant, ambivalent, or anxious attachment" to others. This is an excellent breeding ground for an unhealthy emotional life. And, in particular, sets the stage for personality distortions in later life.

So, that person whom you met when they were an adult--a partner, ex, parent, co-worker--was already pre-disposed to their outwardly self-important, prone to pomposity, self-adoration, and annoyingly entitled behaviors long before you can along.

You can't change them.

They don't want to change. T

hey see no need to change.

Got it?

Good!

Let yourself off the hook.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What attachment theory is
How attachment theory helps explain the basic nature of people in relationships
Secure attachment is healthy
Avoidant attachment is dismissive
Anxious,attachment, ambivalent attachment is preoccupied
Disorganized attachment is unresolved
Why a Hijackal's behavior is not your fault
Why you cannot change a #Hijackal

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#attachment #attachmenttheory #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Suffering in Silence Needlessly Ruins Relationships

Sun, 01 Sep 2019 18:33:32 GMT

Don't kid yourself! Your "silences" speak volumes!

I work with people whose relationships are in crisis for so long, and their hope that not speaking up about things that are bothering them mostly does more damage than anything.

Suffering in silence can be the exact opposite of healthy living. It's a poor--and often highly toxic--approach to relationship issues.

It's possible that folks who button up and bottle up recall prior negative experiences associated with speaking out. Things just didn't go well, or the result crushed them. Now, they don't want to risk their self-esteem, or the relationship.

Here's a HUGE, glaring mistake, too: Too many people talk to their kids about their frustrations with their partners. I'll talk about this more in the episode. But, know that here's the rule: DON'T DO THIS...unless your kids are fully functioning adults with enough relationship experience to have a healthy conversation.

Why do quiet, seemingly nice people kill their spouses? One reason is that they "suffered in silence" until they really needed to say something or burst. They burst! Don't let that be you!

------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

why it is not wise to bottle things up
how resentment builds and rationality reduces
where you may have got the idea that suffering in silence is in any way wise
why it is imperative not to include your children in conversation about your partner
why getting help is a sign of strength: getting help does not mean you've failed

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#nomoresufferinginsilence #sufferinginsilence #silencedamagerelationships #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Tell-Tale Signs You're With an Emotional Terrorist

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 01:27:52 GMT

Any chance you've been walking on eggshells around someone in your life?

A parent, partner, sibling, friend, ex?

If so, there a good chance you're going to recognize some of their abusive behaviors in today's episode.

In fact, you may learn--and you may not want to--that, you're experiencing what I call an "emotional terrorist!:

You need to know this, even if you'd prefer not to. I know, who wants to think they know or love any kind of a terrorist, right?

Who wants to think they've fallen in love with one, either? Right! No one.

You deserve to be loved, appreciated, acknowledged, known, accepted, and heard...just as I write about in my book, Kaizen for Couples. It's important that you not settle for less. Are you in?

Well, first let's find out if you're with an emotional terrorist, or, were raised by one. That's the start, and that's what today's episode will give you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

8 signs you're experiencing an emotional terrorist
how to recognize the signs of emotional terrorism
why you might not want to, but truly need to, accept what's really going on in your relationship
how recognizing these now can avoid violence later BIG DEAL!!!
if you recognize these in your relationship, it's time to leave. OK?

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#hypervigilant #emotionalterrorist #signsofsociopaths #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Sneaky Covert Narcissists Play on Your Empathy

Sun, 18 Aug 2019 19:54:24 GMT

Do you have a feeling that what's going on in your relationship is less than honest, and yet, you feel strangely like you're not doing enough?

You may well be with a covert narcissist!

Even for me, working with couples all over the world, it takes longer to identify covert narcissism in a person, and in a relationship, than with other demonstrations of narcissism.

Why? Because it is sneaky, under-handed, passive, and plays on your heart strings more than overt or malignant narcissism. It takes longer to be sure that's what's playing out. And, when I'm working with a couple, I want to be sure...and, so do you, I know.

Covert narcissists play the victim, misunderstood and under-valued in their own minds. It's all a manipulation, but that's what they want to believe. They feel as entitled as overt narcissists, but, they don't express it in the same ways.

Are you with someone who is always the victim?
Does s/he tell you that they never are valued, or seen for who they really are?
Does that person try to keep you feeling sorry for them?
Do you feel like you are the caretaker of their self-esteem and self-confidence?

These can be very clear signs of covert narcissism, especially when they are all present. Of course, there are many more signs, and I've put as many in today's episode as I could in the time available. You'll be able to get a good sense if you're with a covert narcissist....finally. And, it will be a big relief, I'm guessing!

Listen in, and see if what's keeping you feeling like you're supposed to be the cheerleader for a permanent underdog is really covert narcissism.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. .

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What covert narcissists do
How covert narcissism is easy to miss
Why covert narcissism is hard to identify
How covert narcissism shows up in your daily relationship
Why covert narcissists make you second-guess yourself and err on the side of empathy
Why covert narcissists are particularly crazy-making, yet make you stay longer

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#covertnarcissists #sneakynarcissism #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #recognizenarcissism #seeingthecycles #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intimate Terrorism. Is It Holding You Hostage?

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 04:26:07 GMT

Abuse in any form is bad news: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse. All bad!

And, you need to know what intimate terrorism is because it has the most dire consequences.

Domestic violence is a term you're likely familiar with. You may not think of the verbal abuse as domestic violence, or the emotional abuse. It is, though. Often, it is very difficult--even more difficult now with the new wording recently changed by the current U.S. administration--to make your case for these in court. It's still domestic violence.

Definition of Domestic Violence from Project-Safe.org :

"Domestic violence is the illegitimate use of physical force and/or control tactics within a relations that is intimate, familiar, or cohabitating. There are several types of domestic violence, including intimate terrorism and situational couple violence."

You may not yet have heard of "coercive control," either. When coupled with violence, it equals intimate terrorism, and occurs when one partner in a relationship, typically a man, uses coercive control and power over the other partner, using threats, intimidation, and isolation. Sady, this intimate partner violence may also involve all forms of abuse: verbal, emotional, sexual, economic, physical, and psychological.

In this episode, I compare Intimate Terrorism with Situational Couple Violence so that you can clearly see the difference. Neither feels better than the other but Intimate Terrorism is far more dangerous.

No matter how much you might want to resist listening to this, please LISTEN! It can save your life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognizing abuse
Recognizing Intimate Terrorism
How Intimate Terrorism differs from Situational Couple Violence
Why you need to recognize intimate terrorism right this minute and take action

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#intimateterrorism #situationalcoupleviolence #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #recognizenarcissism #seeingthecycles #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

See the Gaslighting! It's Verbal, Psychological, AND Emotional Abuse.

Sun, 04 Aug 2019 18:22:31 GMT

#Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult toxic people--want to define your reality for you. Right?

They try to tell you what you think, what you feel, or what you remember or want. Crazy-making!

Telling you who you are and what you think and feel is #gaslighting. Sure, you have friends that you might ask, or be discussing these things with because you value their opinion. Whole different story!

Hijackals tell you because they want to define your reality, so that they can have power and control over you. Once they wear and tear you down, you may begin to believe them. STOP! They are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Don't let them.

In today's episode, I help you hear phrases differently. You might not have realized this is happening to you because #Hijackals are sneaky, underhanded, and undermining you. They want to take away your self-confidence. They want to make you dependent on them. Nasty!

I share with you how--and why that 'how' is important--to change your response, and what to say. It can make a huge difference to regaining your self-esteem, and bolstering your self-confidence. Exactly what the Hijackal doesn't want to happen, but exactly what you need to happen!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognizing gaslighting
Why it is emotional abuse
How gaslighting may sound in your relationship
Why adults accept gaslighting and what needs to change
How to respond to gaslighting in the moment
AND...here's the link to my video, Healthy Responses to Gaslighting,

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#Gaslighting #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #recognizenarcissism #seeingthecycles #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Deal with Difficult People Who Are NOT Full-Blown Narcissists

Sun, 28 Jul 2019 23:59:42 GMT

People can be difficult. No lie, right!

Sometimes, they are difficult for a moment. Sometimes, through a rough patch.

Today's episode is help for dealing with those two kinds of occasionally difficult behavior.

Although these strategies are foundational to what you have to do when you're with the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call #Hijackals, there is SO much more to learn about how to effectively manage toxic relationships. That's why most of the episodes on Save Your Sanity are very specific to the #Hijackals, the folks who will create toxic relationships, for sure.

But, you will meet moments when even those people who can be mostly loving are difficult. These areas in today's episode are worth exploring within yourself. You may find that you would feel better--and more prepared and confident--if you got some more skills to respond to these situations.

Join in my OptimizeCircles.com where you can ask questions directly, as well as get support from other members. It's all SAFELY off social media, only for members.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Distinguish between different patterns of difficult behavior
Acknowledge underlying feelings others may be trying to express
Keep the desired result you want from any conversation in mind...while you're having it
Use language well
Be flexible, and allow for personal differences
Be willing to teach people how you want to be treated
Know your own bottom line, and stay in the black!

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #recognizenarcissism #seeingthecycles

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Crystal Clear Signs You're in Love with a TRULY Difficult Person, a Hijackal

Sun, 21 Jul 2019 20:26:52 GMT

Are you tired of being wrong? #Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult toxic people in life--cannot be wrong, so everything HAS to be your fault.

That's exhausting, right? And, of course, it's not true.

If you stay with a #Hijackal for long, you may begin to second-guess yourself too often. You may question your sanity. Or, you can get so worn down and torn down, that you don't have any self-esteem or self-confidence to call on for much. Let's stop that, ok?

Now, is the time to tune into these eight crystal clear signs that the person you're loving--the person you are hooked on and hope loves you--is NOT THAT PERSON you thought they were. In the beginning, they did all they could to "get" you, and usually as quickly as possible. It was dreamy. Now, it's a bit of a nightmare!

You've bent over backwards to accommodate their needs, wants, and desires, and you're left bent, crooked, and out of shape emotionally. That's not right! That's not fair! That's not healthy!

#Narcissists do this all the time. They suck you in so they can spit you out. You don't want to leave because they have you hooked, so you take their verbal abuse, and you may not even see all the emotional abuse they are dishing out, too.

I want to help you with that. If you're ready to make better decisions about your relationship, let's talk. Right away! BeAClient.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Eight clearly visible narcissistic traits you can identify if you're with a #Hijackal
Why you cannot change the traits of a #narcissist, and why #Hijackals won't change themselves
Reasons to step back, get perspective, and make changes now to take your life back
Why #Hijackals are NOT introspective and NOT self-reflective and why you have to stop hoping they will be

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have You Experienced Abuse Without Acknowledging it? Times UP!

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 04:43:44 GMT

Being abused is a BIG deal! Not recognizing it is also a BIG deal.

Often, when it happens when you are young, it becomes buried in the fabric of your life and you don't realize that you are operating from it. That happens too often.

Maybe, you've downplayed the emotional abuse, or any other kind of abuse, in your mind to somehow make it alright, or at least, tolerable. Maybe, you've made up excuses for the other person. Or, worse, you've taken on the blame for the abuse on yourself!

No. The very best thing you can do for yourself is to get some help to take a detailed look at your life, and see what really happened to you. Start with the insights and questions in this episode, and journal your thoughts.

Emotional abuse can make your life darker. It's limiting, and enclosing. You need to be free from it, and that begins with recognizing the emotional abuse.

This episode will definitely help, especially if you take the time to reflect on the questions. You deserve to do that. YOU MATTER!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Too many people do not recognize that they experienced emotional abuse
When you are emotionally abused as a child, you accept it more readily as an adult
Seven ways to recognize emotional abuse
The consequences of internalizing emotional abuse as your fault
14 questions to ask yourself to recognize any emotional abuse in your life

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Six Constantly Flying Red Flags That Should Tip You Off to Hijackals - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 23 Jun 2019 20:08:06 GMT

You're been in the relationship for a while. Maybe, it's even your parent! Or, a new partner?

Or, you're waking up to the fact that you simply cannot please your partner because s/he WILL NOT be pleased, no matter what you do!

Your partner may be a #Hijackal®.

Your partner may have narcissistic behaviors and self-centered motives.

Your partner may have anti-social behaviors.

Your partner may incapable of empathy, and therefore, incapable of real love.

You need to know these six red flags!

These constantly flying red flags--and really, they are always there when you know what to look for--and how you can look at them differently to see how destructive and damaging they really are to your sense of self. Oh, and of course, they create impossible to enjoy relationships, too!

I create the term, Hijackals®, to give us a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of difficult people without the necessity of psychological diagnosis. A diagnosis won't help you deal with them, but knowing what they are up to will.

Here's my definition: "Hijackals are people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--and then scavenge the daily for power, status, and control." Sound familiar? You need to know if you are with a Hijackal!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Six red flags you see way too often but may be missing
Why you need to learn to be strategic in the relationship
How to get some perspective on what's really bothering you in a difficult relationship
Why you may keep telling yourself "It's not so bad" and why you need to stop

Don't worry. Other episodes will definitely help you get out of the Hijackal®Trap, and out of the relationship if that is what you want to do.

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

#Hijackals #narcissistredflags #relationshipredflags #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #recognizenarcissism #seeingthecycles

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is "The Hijackal Trap?" Am I Caught in It?

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 05:24:53 GMT

Are you caught in The Hijackal Trap? You really need to know, so you can make clear choices.

The Hijackal® Trap is often very hard to recognize because it is often subterranean, deep in the murky areas of the relationships only showing up every now and again. Or, maybe, it's showing up increasingly frequency now, and you need to know right away.

You get glimpses of it in confusing early moments in your relationship, and if you're like most people with a desire to be in love, you ignore those glimpses because you want everything to be wonderful, solvable, and moving in a great direction towards one another. Right? That's the way it's supposed to work. It doesn't work that way with #Hijackals, sadly.

The Hijackal Trap is illusive. Now you see it. No, you don't. And, because you don't really want to see it, you likely ignore it or make excuses for it when it does raise its ugly head.

You're listening today because you know you are tired of feeling put down, worn down, or torn down...and, usually all three!

Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with the patterns, traits, and cycles shared by those with narcissistic, passive-aggressive, sociopathic, histrionic, psychopathic, and borderline tendencies--can be very charming. For sure, they are full of immediate excuses for the their behavior. Worse, though, is that the have a tendency to make everything your fault! Familiar?

You'll know if you're caught in The Hijackal Trap very soon. I think you're suspecting it's true, right?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognizing the Hijackal Trap
Why things may seem comfortably uncomfortable, or familiar
Why you may have consciously or unconsciously missed the red flags
What to watch for
How to know if you're caught in the Hijackal Trap

Don't worry. Other episodes will definitely help you get out of the Trap, and out of the relationship if that is what you want to do.

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why You Shouldn't Go Back to a Hijackal® & How To Stay Away Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 04:44:25 GMT

You're out! You likely took a long time to make the decision to leave the narcissist, or in my terms, the #Hijackal. You also likely talked yourself out of it more than a few times, right?

Then, you make your move for all the right reasons. It's difficult AND you do it.

Uh-oh! Now, you're second-guessing your decision, and beating yourself up a bit. NO! Please don't!

Remind yourself that you left for all the right reasons.

Not so easy when you're feeling unsure, alone, and maybe even a little helpless...at least, once you're in your new place all along. Right?

That's when the doubts creep in, You wonder if you did the right thing. You start romanticizing the past and remembering only the good parts. Oh, I know, I've been there, and I left, too.

So today, I'm talking about understanding what may be driving you to think of going back to the abusive relationship. I give you SIX practical and immediate things to do to stay on the path of leaving, and keep yourself on an even keel while staying away. So important for your growth, self-esteem, and self-confidence!

Every client I have who has told me stories of leaving a #Hijackal and going back has said how much s/he regretted that decision. Some of them actually left a couple of times before they moved away for good.

It's not easy, because you're emotionally addicted. You may not like to think of yourself in those terms, but basically, that's what has been going on.

To break any addiction, you have to go through a rough patch. If you go back, you have to go through the rough patch again. Not so smart, right?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you may think that going back is a good idea
How to know it's a very bad idea
What to do when you are tempted to go back
Trauma-bonding can keep pulling you back and you need to recognize that
Six active steps to take to make a good start on your new life away from a #Hijackal

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #dontgobacktoanarcissist

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Scary Reasons Why Unconditional Love May be a Dangerous Myth

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 04:36:31 GMT

Oh, my! I can imagine that for a few folks the title of today's episode caused them a brief moment of near apoplexy!

No, I didn't choose it for its shock value, nor did I choose it to be controversial. I chose it because there are a few things about unconditional love that you may not know, and maybe, you may have a little blind belief that to be a "good" person. you must strive to be unconditionally loving to all people at all times. Not so.

Before you set your hair on fire--or want to do that to mine...lol--please listen to the whole episode.

It is NOT heresy. I am a deeply spiritual person and I've led several spiritual centers and organizations. I am very familiar with the constructs and demands of unconditional love. So, I feel I'm a good person to give you this food for thought.

I've covered the four ways in the highlights section below, but each one requires explanation and that's what I've done in the episode.

I really, really, really hope you'll think about these things, after listening to the whole episode. You'll find it relieving and freeing, I hope.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Unconditional love may be a toxic myth
Unconditional love is like a "Get Our of Jail Free" card
The term "unconditional love" has a surprising, and out-of-context, origin you might not know...til now
Unconditional love undermines justice

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Ways to Keep Your Courage UP While Leaving a Difficult Person, a Hijackal

Mon, 27 May 2019 04:00:49 GMT

You've left, or you're close to leaving. It's scary!

Sometimes, you're so sure you need to leave. Too often, you're second-guessing yourself.

I hear clients, and people in my groups, say, "I want out of this relationship, no matter what the cost." And I understand that too well. When there is physical or sexual abuse, you may need to leave immediately.

You're saying, "I'm at the end of my rope and I don't have the energy or will to tie a knot! I've been there. I know.

I also know, though, that that's when you have to find the energy to re-focus on finding your way out of the relationship with the best interests of yourself and your children in mind. And, that means summoning up the energy to stand up on your back legs, and get what you deserve.

So, today, I'm offering you five essential ways to keeping up your courage, while ending your relationship AND saving your sanity, self-esteem, and self-control. YOU CAN!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Learn and believe the truth about #Hijackals...and that means, knowing they will not change even though they pretend to for short periods when their afraid they'll lose you.
Make a firm decision to leave, and remember why you made it.
Minimize contact and conversation...even if you're still living in the same house.
Debrief with an expert, instead of debating with your about to be ex.
Know What You Want and Stick to Your Guns!!!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Co-Parenting Hacks for Raising Healthy, Happy Children with a Difficult Ex

Sat, 18 May 2019 20:08:30 GMT

Don't make your children feel like pawns, messengers, or casualties of your divorce!

In a perfect world, after divorce, your children would only know that life is more peaceful with two homes, and that they miss the way things used to be with both parents in the home. (Of course, if there was a lot of tension, bickering, and anger, they won't miss that at all!)

When you co-parent well, you eliminate exposing the children to adult issues. Right? I sure hope you said "Yes!"

Children have enough upset to content with when parents separate. It's enough to deal with moving, losing time with their friends, missing the non-custodial parent, feeling uncertain about what's going on, and not have the right things in the right house at the right time. These are kid concerns!

FIVE GOAL/AFFIRMATIONS TO KEEP TOP-OF-MIND WHEN CO-PARENTING:

I am the model I want my children to follow. Therefore, everything I do and say demonstrates who I want my children to strive towards becoming.
I communicate with my ex in the way I wish for him/her to communicate with me. I choose collaboration and conversation, over conflict and acrimony. (Listen to today's episode for how this works with #Hijackals!)
I focus on my children and what keeps them healthy--physically, mentally, and emotionally. That includes doing what is in their best interests first.
I turn my attention from what I don't like about my ex to what s/he does well for the children. It's about the kids, not what my personal issues are with my ex.
I allow my children to enjoy their childhoods and ensure they're only concerned with age-appropriate thoughts, feelings and actions. I protect them from being pawns, messengers, or casualties of my divorce.

Now, those are just for you. A #Hijackal ex may make them VERY difficult, and I've talked about this in today's episode, at length.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Today's episode offers insights into the crazy-making minds of narcissists, narcissistic #Hijackals, anti-social people, and drama queens...and, of course, drama kings.

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you must keep the best interests of the children top of mind
Goal Affirmations for you (see above)
Value of communicating with your children in age-appropriate ways only
Why not to discuss divorce difficulties with your children that only belong between you and your ex

If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Do You Mean I'm Not the Center of Your Universe???

Tue, 07 May 2019 00:44:05 GMT

#Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, demanding people--NEED to be the center of the attention, the star of the show, the center of your Universe. And, they have to come first.

You, then, are expected to be their adoring, validating audience, clapping at the least of their ideas. Exhausting, and inappropriate...at the least!

Whether they take center stage by being charming, or by being nasty, doesn't matter to them, as long as they occupy that space and garner your attention.

#Hijackals® believe that life should revolve around them, their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, and desires. NO! That's not true. But, have you been falling into step with what they want? Time to re-assess!

Yes, she can be charming, alluring, and magnetic.

Yes, he can be amusing, engaging, and promising.

But. it's all about them. That's not a recipe for a healthy relationship. It's toxic!

Is this sounding familiar? If so, it's time for a change. It's time for a clear look at what's really going on, and decide if you're ready to do something that is healthier for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

You will find yourself blamed for things that couldn't possible be your fault. You'll be told how you feel, and it will be completely wrong. You'll be told what you think, and no one every asked you. Sound familiar? That's how #Hijackals roll.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Today's episode offers insights into the crazy-making minds of narcissists, narcissistic #Hijackals, anti-social people, and drama queens...and, of course, drama kings.

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why #Hijackal must blame and find fault
Why that blame is all coming your way
Destructive patterns you can notice right now, and move away from
One BIG STRATEGY to do right away to change things positively...if possible.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalsafety #selfcenteredpeople #narcissistsworldview #overcomingnarcissisticabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Boomerang of Blame: Why Narcissistic People Make It All Your Fault

Sun, 28 Apr 2019 19:12:56 GMT

"It's crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it's always my fault!"

Have you ever said that about a parent, partner, ex, friend, sibling, co-worker?

Infuriating! Frustrating! Endless! It has to stop. And, unfortunately, that's up to you. A #Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult person with narcissistic, anti-social, borderline or histrionic behaviors--will never entertain the remote possibility that s/he has made a mistake, or is wrong. Right? Nasty!

#Hijackals have been damaged in ways that cause them to be hyper-vigilant, always on the look out to defend themselves against blame. Even when there is nothing to guard themselves against, they make up things. Have you experienced this? If you're with a #Hijackal you certain will know what I'm talking about!

Blame becomes a pre-occupation for Hijackals. Their immediate response is to reject it or deflect it. That means it's coming back your way. Hence, the Boomerang of Blame.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Today's episode offers the ONE BIG STRATEGY you need to employ first to repel the Boomerang of Blame. Yes, I know. It's not fair that you have to be the one who employs all the strategies to make the relationship bearable. But, you need to be safe, and that's up to you to do everything you can to make happen.

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why #Hijackal must blame and find fault
Why that blame is all coming your way
Destructive patterns you can notice right now, and move away from
One BIG STRATEGY to do right away to change things positively...if possible.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalsafety #Boomerangofblame #refusingblame #mustberight #narcissistsmustberight

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Know If You're Emotionally Safe in Your Relationship

Sun, 21 Apr 2019 18:51:25 GMT

Do you bend over backwards to keep people happy?

Do you try to live up to other people's expectations?

If you answered "Yes" to either of those, you may be accepting a relationship that is actually emotionally unsafe for you. It may be a toxic relationship!

Another way to know if you need to question your emotional safety is to recognize that you fell in love with someone who swept you off your feet, and seemed absolutely perfect, and now, you find yourself with a person who puts you down and wears you down to the point of exhaustion.

That's what #Hijackals do! They "get" you with the picture of perfection, and keep you in a private place of pain, sadly enough.

(If you're wondering if you're with a #Hijackal, get my free gift for you: my ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, HERE. )

Did you fall in love with a person who was so amazing that you thought you'd been blessed with a soulmate? Then, did you find the relationship deteriorating into something more like being cursed with a cellmate?

You want--and need--to listen to today's episode. It can change everything!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!

Today's episode offers deep food for thought about your emotional safety. Most people who are with toxic people really want to believe that what's happening is not true. You make excuses for their behavior. You justify and rationalize it.

Now's the time to recognize it for what it is: bad behavior from a person who will never give you the love you want and deserve.

Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and take it all in. It could be your ticket to a much more peaceful life.

And, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up.

Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in every room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognize there are people in the world who want and need power over you
Recognize if you're with an emotionally unsafe person, a #Hijackal
Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."
How to know if you are emotionally unsafe: 5 questions to ask yourself
Don Catherall: "One partner can say something stupid, and the other person ignores it or doesn't look at it as significant. There's a level of trust. But when they lose that safety, everything has the potential to flare up. They stop taking things at face value or giving each other the benefit of the doubt."
Destructive patterns you can notice right now, and move away from
You have the right to be emotionally safe!

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stop Lying to Yourself! Some People Will NEVER Change.

Mon, 15 Apr 2019 18:51:15 GMT

People can drive you crazy, right? Toxic people are best at it.

And, yet, you might still be telling yourself that you can change them. Is that true...even a little bit?

Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. You've been there yourself.

Someone you care about is overwhelmed or stress to the point of snippy-ness or name-calling. It's surprising and annoying, but you understand. Why? Because it only happens once in a blue moon!

But #Hijackals®, those relentless difficult people, they want to suck you in, use you, and spit you out, right?

They're motto seems to be, "Come closer. Stay away." Crazy-making!

It's time to recognize--and realize down to your toes--that you cannot change a narcissist, or a person with narcissistic behaviors. You cannot!

You could stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a year, and it wouldn't do anything but make that person think that they had a wonderful degree of control over you! Not the result you wanted, right?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

Why? The Hijackal has to be on top of any pile, the one getting the credit, and in the meantime, discrediting or tearing you down. Sad AND crazy-making! People with narcissistic traits do it. People with anti-social behaviors do it. People who have histrionic traits--the drama kings and drama queens--do it. People with borderline personality traits do it.

Today's episode offers 7 things you may be noticing--or should be noticing--that will tell you clearly that you're in a #Hijackal relationship. You'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Listen to today's episode, and take it all in. It could be your ticket to a much more peaceful life.

And, if by chance, you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognize your tendency to make excuses for a difficult person's bad behavior
How a #Hijackal twists your words, and how s/he twists your relationship
7 Red flags you may have missed that you need to see
How being with a #Hijackal erodes self-confidence
Why it is essential to see these traits NOW, and take action.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Know If Your Jealousy is Low-Key Killing Your Relationship

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 21:24:07 GMT

Jealous? That's a big issue that can easily cause major relationship problems!

Have you already learned that? Are you ready to stop repeating that mistake? Great!

Jealousy is the green, fire-breathing monster that is lying in wait to devour your relationships, and hurt your heart. When you want to stop living in fear of being hurt, you can. I can help. You want to be free of jealousy because it uses far too much energy with no good return on that investment.

Are you suspicious?

Are you accusatory?

Are you smothering?

Are you too often blaming and shaming?

Are you tired of living with all that fear? I hope so. It's too hard on you...and quite unnecessary. You may not know that yet, but it's true. It's unnecessary.

Dr. Phil is correct when he says, "Jealousy is a poorly disguised need for power and control." Do you see that?

It's just what you don't want to happen to you, right? You don't want someone who has a need for power and control over you. But, your jealousy may be a misguided effort to have power and control over another human. That's TOO MUCH WORK!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. You can't have that when you're jealous. You're too involved with your fears about what another person may be doing. You're actually giving away your time, energy, and well-being to an idea that may not be true. Now, that doesn't sound like something you want to do any longer, does it?

Listen to today's episode, and take it all in. It could be your ticket to a much more peaceful life.

And, if by chance, you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Recognize that you are jealous for a reason that likely has no relationship to your current relationship
Fear of being abandoned can run--and ruin--your life
Questions you need to ask yourself about your jealousy
Why you may be afraid you're being cheated on
What you need to think about to stop the green-eyed monster from ruining your life and relationship

YAY! Step up today and don't let anyone put you down ever again. OK?

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Never Go "Nose Blind" to Verbal Abuse. Smell It For What It Is! Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 04:41:30 GMT

Have you heard that TV ad for air freshener that implores you to notice that you may have gone "nose-blind" to the unpleasant smells in your kitchen, garbage, basement, or car? Well, I think people go "nose-blind" to verbal abuse...and, to emotional abuse, too. It's time to stop!

Today, I'm talking about the ways you might be justifying the bad behavior of a #Hijackal in your life, a relentlessly difficult, usually self-centered person who wants power and control over you...always. It's not just occasional. It's a way of life for them, and they have endless expectations that you will not only allow their verbal abuse, but you'll begin to believe you deserve it. YOU DON'T!!!!

If you've had a #Hijackal parent, an emotionally unavailable parent who had unreasonable expectations of you, you may subconsciously be so used to the behavior that you don't see it in all it's awfulness. You're used to it, and even though it makes you uncomfortable, it is still "comfortably uncomfortable." It's familiar. And, that can change. (And, I hope today's episode will keep you on that change train, too. )

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Constantly being told you are worthless, or thoughtless, or even much less, wears away self-esteem, and with it goes your self-confidence. Especially if a parent emotionally abused you, you are groomed to accept this behavior from others. You believe the abuser. Please DON'T!

(Yes, I know, you don't want to think that about your parent, but you're an adult now. You need to call it what it was...and deal with it.)

If you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why verbal abuse may have become something you're "nose-blind" to
Why you simply cannot excuse their behavior because "they're having a bad day"
Why it is NOT YOU who has to change
How it's possible to have a wildly successful career and still be abused at home
How to stop being "Nose blind" and wake up smell the herbal tea...lol

YAY! Step up today and don't let anyone put you down ever again. OK?

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #recognizeverbalabuse #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #beassertive

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tuning Up Your Self-Confidence After a Hijackal Tramples It - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 25 Mar 2019 00:18:38 GMT

Self-confidence! Sounds good, doesn't it? You want to have, express, and experience it, and that's not always easy after a #Hijackal has trampled it. You can become self-confident, and today's episode will give you great steps!

How are you doing with your self-confidence? Has someone bashed it? Are you ready to improve your self-confidence and step out with more conscious self-love? Great. You'll love this episode!

Once you're on a downward path with your self-confidence, the world seems to conspire to keep you there. You even find ways to put yourself down and keep yourself down, especially if you've been with a #Hijackal of any stripe. That Hijackal could have been your parent, sibling, or partner. Time to stop letting that person have any say in how you live your life, and especially no further say in what you are capable of doing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Constantly being told you are worthless, or thoughtless, or even much less, wears away self-esteem, and with it goes your self-confidence. If you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

What a Hijackal parent told you about who you are is likely nowhere near the truth
Listening to the opinions of others erodes your self-confidence
No need to let people discourage you from trying new things
How to turn off the old voices that tell you you can't do things
Great quotation from e.e.cummings :

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

YAY! Step up today and don't let anyone put you down ever again. OK?

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #passive-aggressivepeople #passive-aggressivebehavior #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #beassertive #self-confidence #improvemyself-confidence

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Ways to Keep Their Passive-Aggression from Driving You Nuts! Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 17 Mar 2019 18:37:34 GMT

You need to learn how to side-step toxic, passive-aggressive behavior, and save your sanity, right? Today's episode gives you 7 ways to do just that.

Other episodes have talked about important aspects of being in relationship with a passive-aggressive person, and about what to do if you are being passive-aggressive. Now, how to protect yourself from the toxicity of passive-aggressive behavior coming from someone else!

You feel the energetic hit of their toxic behavior, but strangely, most folks immediately question themselves. That's where you have to start making changes. Once you recognize the passive-aggression, you can then do things differently yourself. That's where your power lies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Passive-aggressive behavior is covert--stealthy, underground, and under-handed. You feel it, but you're not often certain what it is that's bothering you. Until you do! That's why I've written so much about it, and devoted several episodes to it. Once you know clearly what it is, you will feel empowered in the face of it. Maybe not immediately, but that will be the result if you step up and use these seven tips all the time.

Passive-aggressive people can make chaos out of thin air. Actually, they are secretly delighted to do so. It gives them power over others. They haven't learned to approach situations, feelings, relationship, or communication directly, so they do it indirectly. Hence, the chaos!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Do not try to win or apply reason when confronting passive-aggressive behavior.
Do not join in the hostility.
Know your boundaries, and express and maintain them, no matter what resistance you experience.
Examine what might be your fault, and own it. Reject what is not, and say so.
Do not engage in blame. This only exacerbates arguments.
Remember that passive-aggressive behavior coming towards you is not about you.
You need help to see the patterns, because when you're a participant in the relationship, they are very hard to see.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

access to my Optimize Circles
my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls
at least monthly insightful webinars

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Narcissistic Hijackals Seem to Find You & Why You Like Them - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 11 Mar 2019 03:11:04 GMT

Oh, the joys of being love-bombed, right? Only you had no idea that that was what was happening!

You honestly believed you had found your partner, your person, your soulmate, the person who knew you so well, and could anticipate your needs. You just knew you'd be happy forever.

All was well...until the "Gotcha!" That's the moment when you realized--much as you tried not to notice--that things were no longer as rosy as they seemed. You recognize that you are often being discounted, being belittled, and often, too much rage. Maybe, there is too much name-calling going on, too much blaming, too much fault-finding.

And, on the flip side, there was not enough love, communication, emotional intimacy, or respect. You, if you were like most who found themselves with #Hijackals, found that you were being betrayed. Your trust was misplaced. You didn't want to believe it, so you made endless excuses and justifications for it.

Now, you see it. You were raised by a #Hijackal, loved a #Hijackal, married a #Hijackal, or divorced a #Hijackal, and you now feel worn down, torn down, and just plain duped, and angry. Right?

In today's episode, I help you see how this system works and why you are so attractive to Hijackal. Why you are drawn to Hijackals, even. And, once you see it clearly, you'll hopefully never unsee it again!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How you were groomed to be attractive to narcissists, and attracted to #Hijackals, especially people with narcissistic traits
Why it is not your fault, or anything you consciously did, or decided
How brain development has a lot to do with it
Why #Hijackal behavior somehow seems "comfortably uncomfortable"
How to stop making excuses for them and see narcissistic behavior for what it is

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #identifyingabuse #callitabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Know the Difference Between a Rough Patch & Straight-Up Abuse

Sun, 03 Mar 2019 18:34:36 GMT

How many times have you heard someone--maybe on TV--say, "Oh, we're just going through a rough patch."

Really? Is it? Or, is it abuse? It's SO important to know the difference, and that's what today's episode sets out to make very clear: the difference.

Here's how Dictionary.com defines abuse:

to use wrongly or improperly
misuse
abuse one's authority
treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way
to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about
malign
to commit sexual assault upon
harshly or coarsely insulting language
bad or improper treatment

OK...big difference from a supposed "rough patch," right?

There's no getting away from it. When someone treats you in a degrading, mean, discounting, or dismissive way, it's abuse!

If you don't have strong boundaries that you express and maintain, you'll turn yourself into a pretzel, and end up being a doormat. You don't want that for a moment longer, right? That's why you need to see this clearly right now, whether it is happening to you or to someone you care about.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you mustn't dismiss "bad behavior"
Clear outlines of what emotional abuse and verbal abuse are
Why it is essential to express and maintain boundaries in outing abuse
Why you must never allow someone to diminish your sense of identity, dignity, or self-worth
Examples of what #Hijackal abusers do that you need to recognize for what it is.
#Hijackals, finances, and financial abuse

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Three Billy Goats & a Troll Have to Do with Covert Narcissists Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sun, 24 Feb 2019 22:02:39 GMT

Whatever has the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff got to do with covert narcissism?

Just who is that troll under the bridge in the story? In your story?

Let's take a look at that in today's episode of Save Your Sanity.

Sad that any one has to live under a bridge, for sure. No doubt about it, the parents of a covert narcissist taught them how to do it. That's how they survived their childhoods. Unfortunately, those are the only strategies they currently have, and so....under the bridge!

Covert narcissists love to live under a bridge, have a sad story to tell, and offer to "gobble you up" when you don't meet their needs. Today, I'm using this story to help illustrate how crafty covert narcissists are, how they hide in wait to pull you under! How they are lying in wait to make you wrong!

Dr. Craig Malkin wrote that: "What's different about covert narcissists is that because they're introverted, they don't advertise their inflated egos."

They may not advertise, but they still sell you that bill of goods.

Are you feeling guilty that you can't make things right or good for someone who seems to never want to feel better?

Are you exhausted from trying to show someone that they matter, and it seems they don't want to see it?

You could be with a covert narcissist...or, maybe, you were raised by one. For sure, today is a good day to see what's under the bridge, and refuse to cross any more!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why your heart goes out to people who are "takers"
What covert narcissists do to make you feel as though you're never doing it enough to make them feel good
Why their constant stories of "it's not fair" or "no one ever gives me a chance" need to stop playing on your heartstrings
How covert narcissists use passive-aggressive behavior to pull you down, and pull you under the bridge
Why you're only valued for what you can give a covert narcissist, never for who you are

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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How to Recognize Hijackals®. Their Patterns, Traits & Cycles

Mon, 18 Feb 2019 06:37:20 GMT

HIJACKALS®! They exist! You've likely met one or two. Most everyone has.

There is no real need for a diagnosis. The Hijackal will not subject him or herself to one, anyway. After all, s/he is perfect, right?

All you really need to have is the ability to clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of these relentlessly difficult people, and know what to do to not become their prey! They are emotional predators.

I created and trademarked this term, #Hijackals, to give you a way to easily talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people in your life, and in a non-clinical way. After all, what you need is to know what to do when you're in a relationship with one, right? That begins with clearly being able to identify a toxic person's behaviors, and know that there are those patterns. That's helpful!

Hijackals like to push you away. They do their upmost to push your buttons...or, at least, it sure feels that way. You might be surprised to learn today that they are really doing that for other reasons than driving you to drink!

Not only do they like to shove you away, but they also then make you wrong for going, and then demand that you stay. Crazy-making!

That's why today's episode is so important to clearly seeing what's really going on!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why "overgiving" to a Hijackal is a really bad idea
Why difficult people can't see what they're doing, even when you point it out
Why Hijackals have such a need for power and control
Dr. Shaler's definition of her term, Hijackals®: "People who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control." Know one now?

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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How Childhood Emotional Neglect May be Adversely Affecting Your Relationships

Mon, 11 Feb 2019 02:33:09 GMT

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT ON YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT.

If it happened to you, it can affect all areas of your life and relationships.

THE GOOD NEWS: You can heal and we'll talk about this later in the episode with my guest.

DR. JONICE WEBB, Author of the first book written on Childhood Emotional Neglect ( CEN )

First, though, I invite you to answer this question:

"Do you recognize what emotional abuse of children is? It's much more than you might think."

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation or denial. Therefore, emotional abuse is simply any abuse that is emotional rather than physical.

It can include belittling, discounting, manipulating the emotions of another and constant criticism. It can be less obvious than that, such as continuous disapproval, or the refusal to ever be pleased by another in any way.

It can be engaging children in age-inappropriate behavior, or engaging in age-inappropriate confidences. When a parent tries to engage a child to take his/her side against the other parent, this is emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse of children is often more subtle than the systematic wearing away of their self-esteem and self-confidence. Emotional abuse cuts to the core of their being, creating scars, impressions and perceptions that are far deeper and longer-lasting than physical ones. An attempt to distort or undermine a child’s perception of the world is emotional abuse.

In today's episode, I've given a very clear example of a situation that might not sound abusive on first hearing, but, once you've listened to this, you'll see things differently!

GUEST: Dr. Jonice Webb, author of the first books ever on Childhood Emotional Neglect

Jonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, speaker, blogger, and best-selling author. Dr. Webb wrote the first book ever written about Childhood Emotional Neglect, and is recognized worldwide as the pioneer of Childhood Emotional Neglect, CEN .

Dr. Webb is dedicated to bringing awareness of the power of Childhood Emotional Neglect to people everywhere. She is the author of Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships.

Were you ever shamed for having emotions in your early life? That's a prime example of a type of Childhood Emotional Neglect. You may never have thought about it in those terms, and today's episode will bring much more than this to light for you.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Wondering why you may downplay your own needs and not ask for much?
If you've experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect, how do you become more confident?
Why you may still be tamping down your anger?
What is the connection between Childhood Emotional Neglect, and troubles in relationships?
How can a person who has experienced CEN begin to get in greater touch with their emotions?
What are the likely impact of CEN in an adult's life?

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Why Too Few Boundaries Allow Too Much Drama

Sun, 03 Feb 2019 19:16:52 GMT

Constant drama in one of your relationships?

Are you frustrated and resentful, but unsure how to change things?

Do you fool yourself by making excuses for the other person's poor, damaging, or degrading behaviors?

No more, OK? You will feel SO much better when you are confident that you can:

set boundaries
express your boundaries
maintain your boundaries
set consequences for trampled boundaries
follow-through on the consequences

Right?

Of course.

If you had a #Hijackal parent, you are used to having your boundaries trampled. You likely wonder if you know anything different! That's because all Hijackals® believe that things should be their way or the highway. How dare you have a point of view, or a desire for something different than they want you to have!

And, how about name-calling? NO! That's not OK at all.

How do you stop it? In today's episode I use stopping name-calling as an example to take you through the steps to setting boundaries, through to following through on the consequences of trespassing a personal boundary.

Follow these steps, and you'll soon be more comfortable with creating boundaries.

What's the pay-off? Less drama over time! Whoo- hoo!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why constant drama may feel comfortably uncomfortable to you
Why you may be hoping too much that the person really loves you
Steps to setting and express clear boundaries
When you need to set consequences
Empowering yourself to be assertive

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #boundaries #settingboundaries #toomuchdrama #stopthedrama #name-calling

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Real Grown-Ups Don't Fight Because They Know These Three Things

Sat, 26 Jan 2019 20:39:36 GMT

Emotional grown-ups don't fight. Kids and needy adults fight.

You don't want to be one of those, so a few essential tips for you in today's episode.

Fighting is what kids do. They do it because they are trying to establish boundaries, power, and a sense of who they are. They don't know yet. Their skills are almost non-existent, except for what they have seen the adult in their lives do. Were those good models? Hmmmm....

You don't want to fight, right? So, today, I'm suggesting you do these three big things to stay out of the fray.

You know fighting never works. You might feel like to "really told him off," or, "I told it like it is," but did it really accomplish anything?

Fighting with a #Hijackal is an absurdity, really. You can't get anywhere, and you don't feel better in the end. So, don't do it!

Sure, for a few minutes, you feel like you got rid of a bunch of pent-up anger, and you needed to get a whole lot off your chest. BUT, what is the result? Did anything really change, especially did anything change for the better? Not likely.

You need to be very clear within yourself about who you want to be and how you want to express yourself. Communicating clearly will empower you, I promise.So, these three things I talk about in today's episode are the very best starting places. Promise!

You matter! You deserve to be emotionally safe, so be sure you're the emotionally mature one, OK?

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why fighting lacks emotional maturity. Not a surprise, really, right?
Why #Hijackals enjoy the fight
Three things you need to work out for yourself that will help you be assertive
How to improve your self-confidence when things need to be said
Why you cannot get anywhere with a #Hijackal by fighting

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalmaturity #overcominganger #nofighting

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Are You Being Realistic About the Potential for Violence in Your Family?

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 01:30:16 GMT

I know, you don't want to believe that that person who said they loved you--or, that person who gave birth to you--will ever really hurt you...like in go to the hospital, or the morgue hurt you, right?

You want to believe that they really love you, even though they only behave that way when they really want something from you. Sometimes, they also behave that way when things are going VERY well for them in life. BUT, usually, they are unpredictably frustrated, angry, raging, or giving you the silent treatment.

THESE ARE SERIOUS #HIJACKALS®!

When you hear about violence perpetrated in so many ways in the world--shootings, wars, subway "pushers", rape, beatings, I hope it is a wake-up call. Have a look at your life with a Hijackal and think about the possibility of violence. There may be none, and I hope that's the truth for you.

However, many people simply don't want to look at that possibility of violence, and do nothing.

I want you to stay safe, so today, I'm talking about something that really needs to be talked about, thought about, and recognized for what it is: that potential for violence.

In this episode, I ask you six questions that you are best to think about long before too much anger erupts. PLEASE listen!

Listen for yourself. Listen for a friend who may be in a volatile situation. Invite him or her to listen. Maybe, it will be a wake-up call!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Are you hiding your head in the sand about the potential for violence in a relationship in your life?
Are you in denial about someone's behavior?
Who you need to talk with about this and why
Why you need to hold on to this truth: #Hijackals are not driven by logic
How a Hijackal's search for significance in life has gone terribly wrong
Your best next steps.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #familyviolence #domesticviolence #denialofabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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How Passive-Aggressive Behavior is Actually Emotional Abuse

Mon, 14 Jan 2019 02:16:16 GMT

Do you have a person in your life that is crazy-making? S/he promises to do something, and then somehow forgets?

Or, a person who procrastinates regularly, then wants to make it your fault--or the weather's--that things don't get done?

Then, you'll want to listen to this episode on the actual emotional abuse that happens when you are often experiencing someone else's passive-aggressive behavior.

Passive-aggressive behavior is covert. Stealthy even!

You're not really sure when or if you were hit, or when you might be again. It catches you off-guard, and causes you to question your sanity. You think:

"Didn't s/he agree to do this? I'm sure that's the case. Yet, now that it is not done when promised, s/he is telling me I should never have expected them to do it!"

Crazy-making!

Passive-aggressive people are fearful of competition, conflict, dependency, and yes, intimacy. It's like their behavior is pushing you away, while their words ask you to stay. Confusing!

Do you have someone in your life who can make chaos out of thin air? Could be passive-aggressive traits that are making you crazy? Listen today.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How do I know if a person is passive-aggressive?
Where most passive-aggressive behavior comes from within an individual
Crazy-making effects of being around passive-aggressive behaviors for long
Why passive-aggressive people delight in their ability to create chaos
Hallmarks of the passive-aggressive personality

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #verbalabusers #passiveaggressive

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Steps to Stopping Verbal Violence in Your Work Life

Sun, 06 Jan 2019 23:50:31 GMT

Verbal Violators in any work situation make working together next to impossible.

At a minimum, they make you cringe, avoid, and prefer to take sick days over going to work.

In my book, Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, I talk about folks who commit "malpractice of the mouth!" Those are verbal violators, verbal abusers. These folks have control issues that lead to anger issues that lead to rage and lack of reason. And, they think they're right.

You know that I talk about my term, Hijackals®. Those are the difficult, the relentlessly difficult people in life who just have to run everything, including their mouths! Well, you meet them at work, too.

In today's episode, I'm giving you some thoughts on how to proceed when you're around folks whose "mouths enrage before their minds engage" as I say in Wrestling Rhinos.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Three things that definitely cause verbal violence to erupt
Two things that must happen to make the working environment safe for all
What to do if you are the violator
How to speak up and set boundaries if you're being violated

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #verbalabusers #verbalviolence #conflictmanagement #angermanagement

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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How to Spot a Hijackal. Crazy-Making Things Narcissists Do

Sun, 30 Dec 2018 18:51:59 GMT

Is your relationship one-sided?

Are you wondering if it's you?

Does your partner have to "win" always?

Is everything your fault?

You're already confused, just the way a Hijackal® wants you to be. A Hijackal is a person who behaves in ways that are common to people considered to have narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial behavior patterns. I created the term, Hijackals, so that you would have a way of talking about the behaviors without trying to make a diagnosis. You simply need to know the signs so that you clearly know what's really going on in your relationship.

Hijackals love to reel you in with what is called "love-bombing." They have the ability to seem to be all that you ever wanted, your perfect partner, your soulmate. Then, once you've committed to them--and, oh, they're fast to want you to move in, marry, get pregnant--so that they can give up their false front and go back to being their real selves. Nasty, right?

For today's episode, I'm reading my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, which you can download HERE.

You know if you're with a toxic, difficult person. Believing it is another matter. Most good people actually hope and believe that they can be more loving, kind, compassionate, patient, forgiving, compromising, ______, and then the HIjackal will change. S/he will change because they will finally believe they are loved.

NO! It doesn't work that way. Hijackals simply always want more...until you are worn down, torn down, and put down and there is nothing left of you, your self-esteem, or self-confidence.

LISTEN TO THIS OVER AND OVER AND LET IT SINK WAY IN! It could be that you had a HIjackal parent, and all this bad behavior on the part of a current partner or ex seemed somehow normal. NO! It isn't. HINT: Listen again if you need to.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork

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What to Say When a Hijackal Says You're Being Overly Sensitive

Sun, 23 Dec 2018 18:57:21 GMT

Oh, that's crazy-making, right?

You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down?

In today's episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you're actually speaking up for yourself when attacked.

You know what I'm talking about. IT HURTS!

Are you told that you're being overly sensitive too often? Hijackals® can be brutal. Nothing can be their fault, so everything has to be yours. When they want to put you down, and keep you down, they tell you how hopeless, useless, and worthless you are in SO many nasty, overt AND underhanded ways, right?

And, when you speak up for yourself, they tell you that you are overly sensitive, that you have a thin skin.

Or, the worst, that they were just kidding! You know so well they were not, but you also know that they take absolutely no responsibility for anything they do or say, so everything has to be your fault.

Speak up for yourself, and a #Hijackal will say anything to squish you like a gnat!

Today, I'm giving you insights into this nasty behavior, and a very good practice for how to respond effectively...over time.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why telling you constantly that you're overly sensitive is abusive
What's really going on this dynamic between you at that time
What to practice saying to yourself to get ready to respond well
How to speak up effectively for yourself...and, it works!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #communication #overlysensitive #speakuptoabuse #highlysensitive

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Better Ways to Communicate Than the Dreaded Silent Treatment

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 22:02:02 GMT

Has your partner every just stopped talking to you when things weren't going his or her way? Or, when you weren't doing exactly as s/he wanted?

And, then, the next things: THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT!

The silent treatment is punishing, punitive, and often the way a person who wants power over you thinks they can control you. Sometimes, though, that other person--or, maybe, you--don't have the skills or confidence to manage conflict in any other way.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

They want to demonstrate power over you
They think you'll give in if they hold out long enough
They want to punish you by withholding love or intimacy of any kind
They lack skills to communicate about difficult things...and they won't risk trying.
They are afraid they'll lose, so they don't start the conversation.

Any of those sound familiar?

It's not uncommon for people to get scared, and then, get very defensive. That often even escalates into anger. Things can get very touchy!

People will react in out-of-proportion ways when they are feeling their self-worth is attacked, or in jeopardy. That's often when they pull of that move: the dread silent treatment!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

You can learn better ways to communicate whether you do the silent treatment, or you're on the receiving end
Find out what's driving that silent treatment
Find the willingness to listen without judgment or defensiveness
What emotionally mature people do when conflict arises

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Conscious Self-Care Saves You So Much Stress & Distress - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 05:40:15 GMT

Do you ever try to downplay your need for great self-care? If you're like many folks--too many folks--you likely do!

You may have been raised to believe that you should be ok, power through, and need nothing.

You may have been told that other people are more important than you are, and that you are a good person when you put other people first...all the time!

NO! Not good. Always putting yourself at the end of your list is DEFINITELY NOT GOOD! .

You may well become a tired, isolated, worn down, and resentful person, though! That's definitely not good.

You see the pattern immediately, don't you? You feel tired, and then, because a parent or someone told you that you should put other people first, you push yourself well beyond your limits. You "think you should!" ARGH! No, you shouldn't.

Sure, there are crises and you might have to push through, real emergencies. But, really, those are few and far between. Not much is a crisis or an emergency, but too many people live as though everything is.

If you're with, or were raised by, a Hijackal, that's how they want you to think the world works. And, Hijackals® are absolutely delighted to create crisis and emergency, after disaster and destruction. Exhausting!

Sounding familiar? I had to learn all this the hard way, too. You deserve to be healthy. That's your job. Do it for yourself. I'm giving you lots of food for thought this week, and next week, I'll add even more to help you think about how you really want to feel, think, live, and love.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Why you may not think you need to take good care of yourself
What does it really mean to be selfish
Why being selfish is not a bad thing when it comes to self-care
Many questions to deeply think about, even journal about, to help you consider taking super good care of yourself in every way

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How To Stop Walking on Eggshells - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 22:15:19 GMT

Any chance that you're getting your exercise by walking on eggshells?

That's a tense, anxiety-ridden, stressful way to get your exercise. Exercise is supposed to make you feel better. Walking on eggshells certainly won't!

Whether the #Hijackal you're with is of the narcissistic, sociopathic, passive-aggressive, histrionic, or borderline variety, keeping you on edge is their specialty. When you are on edge, they feel powerful, right? That means they are scooping up your power, and it's time to stop letting them.

But, how? In today's episode, I give you four BIG ways that you must stop Hijackals from taking your power. Yes, they are four "big buckets," HUGE BUCKETS, and I realize that. They are not quick or easy, but I wanted to put them into your thoughts today. I'll elaborate on each of them in further episodes, I promise.

Toxic people need control! It's what feeds them, and keeps them going. You know that's true, because when they don't get it, they explode! If they are overt, they go off like a roman candle. If they are covert, they are masters of The Silent Treatment. You know these!

Time for it to stop. They won't stop, so stopping is up to you!

I know, it's unfair. But, it's your life, and you have to take it back.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

How to recognize the toxic behaviors of toxic people
What you might be telling yourself that prevents you from putting a stop to toxic behaviors
4 BIG undertakings for you to stop walking on eggshells
Why you need to do this now: P.S. You cannot stop any younger!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Emotional Abuse Is & Its Impact On Your Life - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sat, 24 Nov 2018 18:34:21 GMT

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation, or denial, it is abuse, emotional abuse.

When you were little, your brain was still growing. You instinctively knew that you had to keep your parents--The Giants--happy so that they would feed and protect you. At least, that's what you hoped.

Many children, though, are emotionally abused. As adults, they often don't really see it and its impact on their lives and relationships.

Today, I want to highlight some very real forms of emotional abuse that might have just seemed normal to you. After all, that's the only childhood you had! You had nothing to compare it to. And, you may have so wanted your home to seem normal.

Children are too often made to feel wrong, blamed, and not good enough. That's emotional abuse, but emotional abuse is SO much more.

You need this information so that you can immediately pick up on emotional abuse from your partner, boss, parents, or even friends. Once you've become used to it, you often put up with it on all fronts. I hope today's episode will cause you to deeply recognize what's going on, or has gone on.

Today's episode will give you insights into:

7 kinds of emotional abuse you may not have recognized. Thanks to PreventChildAbuse.org
Examples from my practice: anonymous stories that can help you understand even more
The impact of emotional abuse on your life and relationships that you may not have realized
Things you really need to think about that could be keeping you from living fully and freely
How you view the world with new eyes out for spotting emotional abuse and stopping it

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Assertive Things To Do When Your Partner or Parent Refuses to Take Responsibility with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Sat, 17 Nov 2018 21:51:08 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

3 ASSERTIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR PARTNER REFUSES TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

It's so infuriating, right? A difficult partner, or parent, refuses to take responsibility for anything that isn't praise-worthy. S/he will step right in if they can take credit for something good, though. But, when something goes sideways, it's all you, all your fault , right?

You don't mean to, but you may well be enabling that difficult person, that #Hijackal. Enabling is something you can stop doing! That's the good news.

You deserve better than a relationship that keeps you down, and supposedly responsibility for all sorts of things that you didn't do, think, or say!

Today's episode will give you insights into:

why Hijackals® have to make everything your fault
what you can do within yourself to stop enabling poor behavior
what to say when a Hijackal makes things your fault, especially things that aren't at all.
eight questions to ask yourself about the patterns in your abusive relationship
why it is essential to get help as soon as you can

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

More about Dr. Gary Salyer

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #takesnoresponsibility

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trauma-Bonding: Why We Create Toxic Bonds & How to Release Them GUEST - Dr. Gary Salyer

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 18:39:02 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

TRAUMA-BONDING: Why You Create Toxic Bonds and How To Release It

A conversation between me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, and Dr. Gary Salyer, author of the upcoming book, Safe to Love Again.

Are you so attached to someone that you are "hooked on hope" that one day they will treat you better? That's really common, and a bit difficult to step away from, I know. That "hooked on hope" can erode into trauma-bonding.

What is trauma-bonding?

"the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person."*1
"a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence."*2

Now that you see those, do you relate that to what has happened to you with a partner, parent, or ex?

Trauma-bonding is a real thing! And you can do something about it. That's what Dr. Gary Salyer and I discuss today. You need to know this, for yourself, your children, and your friends, too.

Guest, Dr. Gary Salyer, talks about the six rights you have in life, and how having or not having them will make all the difference in creating healthy relationships. Dr. Salyer is the author of Safe to Love Again, an upcoming book that can uplift you if you've ever been deeply hurt by a relationship.

Dr. Gary Salyer speaks to audiences across the country as a featured expert, inspirational speaker on how to create the love we all deserve. He is an expert in Attachment Theory, the science of relationships, Bert Hellinger's Family Systems approach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). As a master transformational relationship coach, Dr. Gary helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.

Dr. Salyer is the creator of the Safe to Love Again™ Workshop and the Extraordinary Couples™ and Extraordinary Singles™ Retreats. He is also a highly sought after guest on various podcasts, TV and radio shows such as The Aware Show on Hay House Radio.

Smart, savvy, professional women in their thirties, forties and fifties who are tired of the heartache in their love lives are resonating with the message of ‘safe to love again.’ Gary’s biggest passion is to help both singles and couples discover how they can have a loving sweetheart lying beside them at night, rather than a lonely pillow or a frustrated, distant partner.

Today's episode will give you insights into:

why you might have been been susceptible to trauma-bonding
what is secure attachment
what is insecure attachment
how you can see more clearly and step away from your abuser
why it is important to realize that this is emotional abuse

Find Dr. Salyer at GarySalyer.com, Facebook

You can pre-order his new book, Safe To Love Again, on his website.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #scaredtoleavemyabuser #DrGarySalyer

*1 Samsel, Michael (2008). "Trauma Bonding". www.abuseandrelationships.org. Michael Samsel LMHC. Archived from the original on May 10, 2018

*2Wendy Austin; Mary Ann Boyd. Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing for Canadian Practice. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; 1 January 2010. ISBN 978-0-7817-9593-7. p. 67.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Reasons You May Have For Not Walking Away From Your Abuser

Sun, 28 Oct 2018 16:01:10 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

10 REASONS YOU MAY HAVE FOR NOT WALKING AWAY FROM YOUR ABUSER

Could any of these things be true?

Your relationship is bad. And, you don't want to admit it.
You keep hoping that things will get better.
You make excuses for your partner's outbursts.
You believe your abuser when s/he says you are nothing worth having, and no one else would want you.
You hang onto the last time you heard "I love you" and fool yourself that it is true.

Any of these sound familiar? You're not alone. And, these aren't even the ten reasons in today's episode!

Who wants to believe they are being abused?

Yet, you are being abused. And, yes, that is the only word that covers it.

S/he is not going through a bad time, stressed, depressed, or repressed. S/he is like that most of the time, and wants you to think it's your fault, right?

Well, it isn't your fault that s/he is unhappy, nor is it your fault that they are angry, upset, yelling, stomping, or threatening.

It also isn't your fault if s/he is frozen and giving you the dreaded Silent Treatment.

All those are choices your partner, parent, friend, or co-worker is making in response to their lives. They could choose differently but they don't because they want to make you believe it's all your fault. And also, being Hijackals, they will take responsibility for nothing, nor be accountable for anything.

So, today's episode gives you ten reasons you may be using in your head that may be keeping you in an abusive situation.

Once your recognize the truth in them you can change all that. It won't be easy, but it is best. You can have a healthy life!

Today's episode will give you insights into:

why you don't want to recognize the abuse
what scares you about actually calling it the abuse it is
how you have been groomed to put up with the emotional abuse, and verbal abuse
how the Hijackal reinforces your fears about leaving
the real facts about what's real and what's not about leaving

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! It's SO important not to respond with toxicity to them.

Most important reason: you won't like yourself when you do!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #nopayback #difficultpeople #whoareyou #enabling abuse #reasonswhyyoustay #scaredtoleavemyabuser

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Divorcing a Hijackal attorney...and thriving! It Happened to Me

Sat, 20 Oct 2018 18:38:50 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

IT HAPPENED TO ME: Today's guest, Christa, shares her story of life with--and beyond--a #Hijackal husband

This is a special feature of Save Your Sanity. I occasionally talk on Save Your Sanity with people willing to share their stories of life with, and after, a Hijackal. That might be their parent, partner, friend, or co-worker. You can find a Hijackal in every area of life...unfortunately!

Today, Christa shares her story.

(P.S.If you decide to share your story, you don't have to use your real name!)

Christa was married to a Hijackal for almost twenty years, and had three children. Finally, it became too much and she spent two years fighting for custody.

Oops! Her husband was an attorney. I've had several clients in different parts of the world who had #Hijackal attorneys for husbands. So difficult! And, so difficult to divorce, in most cases.

Christa attributes her winning to being able to have the funds and other resources to fight for custody for two years. Many people do not have the emotional and financial resources to do that. Christa was able to. She said:

"The only person involved with our case who saw his side of things was his own attorney. I was granted custody but that, of course, is not the end of the story. He bribed my girls until each one of them decided to live with him. He found ways to turn them against me. He told lies to our neighbors and friends. He even called my mother and brother and told them they really didn't know me. I want to share my story so others know they can leave and reclaim their lives."

Thank you, Christa. You've outlined several Hijackal Hallmarks:

alienating the children with bribes
bad-mouthing the other parent to make the Hijackal look good
transgressing a basic statement in every divorce decree: not to speak poorly of the other parent to the children
creating a smear campaign with neighbors, friends and colleagues to sway them to his side and make you look bad
trying to alienate family members from you, and pretend that they have "special knowledge" of you, or say that you are unwell or unfit

If you have a story to share, please send it to me HERE if you're willing to share it. Let me know it is for the It Happened To Me segment.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #divorcingatoxicperson #divorcinganarcissist

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Angry with a Hijackal®? Why Payback Won't Work

Sun, 14 Oct 2018 17:32:19 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

ANGRY WITH A HIJACKAL? WHY PAYBACK WON'T WORK

Hijackal behavior is outrageous, and it gets your blood boiling too often, right? They are like vampires, draining your blood.

And, you just want to show 'em how it feels. And, you want them to see how much they hurt you.

And, truth be told, you want them to hurt the way you are hurt. So, you think that payback will help. It doesn't, won't, and can't.

News flash! They don't care about you, or your feelings. They want what they want, and that is power and control.

So, when you are poised to write that poison pen letter to let them know that they cannot treat you that way, you need to think about today's episode and change your tactic.

You can never be who they want you to be because that changes with the wind. You have to know who you are and be only that. Listen. Get this right down to your toes, even though it feels counter-intuitive when you're hurt and angry.

I know how difficult making the shift is that I'm suggesting today. If you're still so angry you could spit wooden nickels, Let's work on that together.

Today's episode will give you insights into:

why responding to the hurtful ways of Hijackals takes some finesse
how you can take back your power
where you can find your greatest strength to stop being manipulated by a #Hijackal
why payback never works with Hijackals

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! It's SO important not to respond with toxicity to them. Most important reason: you won't like yourself when you do!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #nopayback #difficultpeople #whoareyou

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Hijackal Blaming? It's Not Your Fault!

Sat, 06 Oct 2018 19:25:53 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

HIJACKAL® BLAMING? IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Hijackals take no responsibility for anything they do. They refuse to be accountable. Yet, in order to pull that off, what has to happen? Everything has to be your fault!

And, it's not. The patterns that living with a Hijackal create are designed to wear you down, to tear you down, to make you second-guess yourself constantly. Now, though, because you're listening here to me, you know that likely not one of those things were your fault.

Never believe who a Hijackal says you are.

Why? Because a Hijackal HAS to make you out to be wrong in every instance, so they can be right. If you're taken my online course, Seeing the Cycles , you'll know that a Hijackal MUST win, in every situation and conversation. Otherwise, they feel insecure, and you know they are not going to let that happen.

Hijackals usually are nice in public and hellish at home. That's why, when you tell someone close to you about the horrible Hijackal behavior, they don't believe you. They don't see that person! That feels like a betrayal of you, I know. I've been there.

Hijackals project on to you the things they most fear are true about themselves. Blame, blame, blame.

Listen today, and stop taking on the blame. Even if it came from a parent decades ago, you can do some work to rid yourself of the remnants, and be truly free of that nasty parental voice that runs at the back of your mind at your most stressful moments. Let's work on that together.

Today's episode will give you insights into:

why Hijackals have to blame
why what they tell you about yourself is almost never true
how blaming parents can have damaged your self-esteem and how to get it back
why freeing yourself from these blaming relationships is important
how to re-establish your self-esteem after a Hijackal

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy #noblame #itsnotyourfault

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7 Red Flags That Person You're Dating is Toxic. Run!

Sun, 30 Sep 2018 19:04:44 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

7 RED FLAGS THAT PERSON YOU'RE DATING IS TOXIC. RUN!

So many people in my Facebook groups write about their fear of dating after being with a Hijackal. They are right to be concerned, and hopefully, that concern will lead them to getting the best help they can so they feel safe with themselves. Then, they will further develop their Hijackal Radar. That's what I help them do when we work together through video conferencing.

There are people who are momentarily difficult--like you or me on a bad day--and then, there are others who are relentless difficult. I call those ones #Hijackals ®. If you've been listening for awhile, or reading my articles, blogs, or books, you're already well aware of that term.

My definition of a Hijackal®:

"A person who hijacks a relationship--for their own purposes--and relentlessly scavenges it for power, status, and control." Familiar?

Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. We've all been there.

When it happens occasionally and completely unexpectedly, we know someone is "off their game." With Hijackals, it happens more and more. And, usually just to the people they say they love the most. In fact, more specifically, usually to their partner or child. Even, their adult children!

It could be an impossible to please parent. It could be a partner who set out to "get you," and life has turned into one big "Gotcha!"

These seven red flags to notice when dating can save you so much heartache later. So, whip off those rose-colored glasses and see these red flags for what they are: DANGER AHEAD!

Get insights on:

how Hijackals fool you when they are trying to "get you"
why nothing is ever their fault, but everything becomes your fault
why giving them more understanding, love, patience, care, or time will not help
how Hijackals erode your self-esteem and self-confidence
what to do when you realize all this is true

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy

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Ever Feel Like a Pretzel or a Doormat Trying to Please Someone? Do this!

Sat, 22 Sep 2018 17:20:42 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

EVER FEEL LIKE A PRETZEL OR DOORMAT TRYING TO PLEASE A HIJACKAL®?

Is there someone in your life who treats you poorly? Do you feel put-down, ignored, walked over, or taken advantage of?

That's not good. You want to be seen, heard, known, accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated. You know how I talk about this in my book, Kaizen for Couples? Well, it is not just for couples. It's for every single person on the planet, and that means you, too! It will help you change your relationship with yourself, while gathering strong skills to communicate well, manage conflict effectively, and create rich emotional intimacy.

If that's not the kind of relationship you're having with someone, then it's time to change that. It's time to get up on your back legs and say "NO!" and "NO MORE!" It's time to strengthen your boundaries.

If you were raised by a #Hijackal, a relentlessly difficult person, you've likely been trampled on so frequently that you learned that it's often safer to just lie there. Time to get up!

Boundaries frighten and inflame Hijackals. No question. But, you're not just going to lie there and take what they dish out are you? No, I'm not suggesting that you get in their face, and fight back. Something more powerful! In today's episode, I'm giving you some reasons and strategies for simply standing your ground without drama.

Will the #Hijackal provide more drama? Sure. But, you won't. What the Hijackal does is on him or her!

Your emotional health and emotional well-being is directly related to your ability--and your willingness--to manage your boundaries. Could they use shoring up? Today's episode will definitely help with that.

Get insights on:

what to do when a person violates your space
how to respond when a person gets too close to fast
how to tell someone to back off
why you don't owe anyone an explanation for why you want them to step back
how to give voice to non-negotiable boundaries

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Will I Feel When I'm Leaving a Hijackal®?

Sun, 02 Sep 2018 03:46:42 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

HOW WILL I FEEL WHEN I'M LEAVING A HIJACKAL?

Whether that person has passive-aggressive, narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, or histrionic behaviors or tendencies, you need to know that you're going to have a totally mixed bag of opposing feelings on the day--and for a few weeks after--you leave. It's natural and normal.

Leaving a toxic situation can be a double-edged sword: there is freedom and peace, and there is anxiety and loss. You'll experience both.

Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal. Now, you're choosing health, peace, well-being, and self-esteem for yourself and your children. That's why you have made the decision to leave, and I know you've thought a lot about it.

You likely thought for a long that, if only you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse the bad behavior, the Hijackal would relax, change, even love you. You thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better!

Today, I want you to know what to expect when you are leaving, and just after. I'm using my personal story because it taught me a whole lot. I hope it helps you, too.

Leaving is not easy except where there is sexual or physical abuse. Even then, some people stay longer than is healthy. Now, you're on your way to a new life. Yahoo!

A few highlights of today's episode:

It's normal to be scared.
It's natural to second-guess your decision.
You will live.
You'll do the samba: two steps forward and one back many times.
You'll live.
Things will get better.
You will walk through SO many emotions, but keep walking!
You'll live...lol.

Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #leavinganarcissist

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is It Possible That You're Enabling a Toxic Partner? Time to Stop!

Sun, 26 Aug 2018 02:29:03 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

IS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP!

VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE!

Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you're been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn't cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn't have an impact when you said no. So, now you've been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior.

Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal.

S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did...because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better!

Today, I'm talking about "enabling." Here's a definition that makes it clear:

Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behavior

That's where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you!

A few highlights of today's episode:

Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enabling
Why it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a "Come closer. Stay away." kind of way
Why enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship
Why you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leaving

Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.

I hope this help you see that more clearly.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #amIanenabler

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Big Reasons Hijackals® Never Stop and Why You MUST

Sat, 18 Aug 2018 18:14:11 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

3 BIG REASONS WHY HIJACKALS® NEVER STOP AND WHY YOU MUST!

Hijackals put you down, wear you down, and tear you down. They have to, in their minds because, at deep levels, you are THE competition!

You are not, but they behave as though you are. And, no amount of assuring them, caring for them—or pandering to them—will change this. So, you have to change, because they won’t!

Today, I'm giving you three reasons that you'll easily see in your relationship that the Hijackal is crushing you. You know this, and I want to put a spotlight on it for you.

Can you admit these to yourself? That's the first step. You need to be able to say a clear "Yes!" not a "Yes, but..." with an excuse, justification, or rationalization of the crazy-making behavior.

Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.

I hope this help you see that more clearly.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is It Actually Competition That's Ruining Your Relationship?

Sat, 11 Aug 2018 17:14:38 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

IS IT ACTUALLY COMPETITION THAT'S RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

ARE YOU MORE FRENEMIES THAN FRIENDS?

There's nothing attractive, compelling, or safe about competition in a relationship that is not on a playing field, in a pool, or a ring. It's destructive and exhausting. VERY IMPORTANT to recognize if competition is what's at the core of a relationship that doesn't feel safe.

Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you relaxed and supported? You want to be, and need to be. If you're not, it could well be that there is subtle (or overt!) competition that is undermining the relationship, and YOU.

Are you and your partner a team? Can you, and do you, healthily rely on each other? You need to be able to!

What's your part in this? Time for self-reflection. These questions will help you clarify what part you might be playing to keep the competition going. It's always wise to start with self-reflection first. Here are the questions I gave you in this episode to go over and think deeply about:

Is there a way that I am inviting competition in my relationship by my words, my actions, my demeanor, or my stance in life, and in my relationship particularly?
Do I turn everything into a debate?
Is my first inclination to find fault, rather than see the good?
When I'm really honest with myself, do I have a big need to be right?
Am I only happy when I am winning?
Am I on guard and look for ways to prove my partner is wrong?
Do I have a glass half full or half empty outlook?
How much of the time am I focused on what I appreciate and love about my partner?
Is that enough?
Do I have my back up and something to prove that keeps me concerned, vigilant, and on edge?

VERY important questions. Maybe, you'll now see some areas you could work on, rather than start by what you want fixed in your partner. Will you do that?

Relationships are not competitions!

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

Get Johanna's free gift ebook, Be Good to Yourself HERE

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What If You Were Affected by Inherited Family Trauma? GUEST: Johanna Lynn

Sun, 05 Aug 2018 02:54:01 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

Special Conversation with Johanna Lynn, Clinical Hypnotherapist

All that happened to you in life affects everything that is currently happening in your life. If you are not getting the results in life and relationships that you want, then, you want to listen to this episode for sure.

Unless you've had a reason or taken the time to think deeply about the home your grew up in, you might not recognize that you had a relentlessly difficult, toxic parent. If you did, the things you learned before you even could walk are affecting everything, on auto-pilot. That Hijackal parent taught you who you were and what to expect from life, and that parent lied to you. Really!

MY GUEST Johanna Lynn, Part 1 - Inherited Family Ties and Traits

Why are you comfortable being treated in ways that make you uncomfortable? Learn how your nervous system learned this. Families share operating systems, family patterns, family traits. Learn how your inner images of yourself and your family play out in your life now.

Epigenetic patterns are real. Our inner images of self and family play out without our awareness. You need to know about this important information! It can clear up a lot of what has happened to you!

THEN, listen to Part 2 on the next episode of Save Your Sanity podcast when we'll discuss emotionally unavailable parents and the issues they cause deep within us. Good news: those issues can be healed, and we can create loving, healthy, emotionally intimate relationships that not only last, but grow deeper and riches over time.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97. New clients only.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

CONNECT WITH JOHANNA LYNN:

Website: JohannaLynn.ca

Facebook: JohannaLynn.ca

Twitter: @johannalynn

LinkedIn: JohannaLynn

Instagram: connect_johanna

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #inheritedtrauma #trauma

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12 Damaging Ways Your Narcissistic Mother Lied to You About Who You Are

Sun, 29 Jul 2018 17:17:52 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

12 DAMAGING WAYS YOUR NARCISSISTIC MOTHER LIED TO YOU ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

You don't have to wonder where your self-doubts came from if you were raised by a mother who had narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial--Hijackal®--tendencies. She made sure you learned to walk on eggshells, second-guess yourself, and question your sanity! She would never let you feel good enough. Right?

In fact, she competed with you every second, on some level. And, she always HAD to win!

A narcissistic mother has to be at the top of the pile. She'll make sure she stays there, too. So, where does that leave you? At the bottom somewhere. Now, yes, you may be what is called her "Golden Child," the child who can do no wrong. She may haven one of those, especially if you have siblings. She may also choose on "Scapegoat Child," the one who can NEVER do anything right. And, the other siblings will be lost in the mix.

If your mom was like mine--and I was an only child--she just simple competed with me on every level all the time. So, how did she do that? By withholding approval, withholding acceptance, withholding affection, and withholding attention. It wasn't that she could play the piano or do other things I did. She didn't--and couldn't compete there--but, she simply ran hot and cold about my abilities. Such a Hijackal! One minute, she's telling the world about competitions I won and getting the credit for paying for all those music lessons, and the next, she's telling me that it's so annoying that I make so much noise practicing all the time. No-win situation!

Today, I'm talking about twelve ways your narcissistic mother, your borderline mother, your histrionic mother, or your antisocial mother will have lied to you about who you are. They cannot help it. They just have to do it. And, at deep levels, you had no choice but to take it in and believe it. It was, and is, emotional abuse!

When you've had a Hijackal mother, you have a lot of unpacking to do, to unearth and replace all the lies she told you about not being good enough, competent, capable, and more. Please take the time to do this. You matter, and your life can be so much more free, rewarding, and fulfilling when you don't believe the lies your mother told you. You can have healthy relationships that are emotionally intimate, once you stop believing her. She was wrong!

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople

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4 Questions To Ask Yourself To Not Miss Emotional Red Flags

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 01:08:28 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

4 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF TO NOT MISS EMOTIONAL RED FLAGS

Do you live on the edge, knowing that at any minute you could suffer from a stinger, a snide comment, or a cold shoulder from your partner, parent, or other difficult person?

Are disdain and disapproval always waiting in the wings?

Are you generally on-guard and waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Those are feelings you have when you are with a toxic person, a relentlessly difficult person, a narcissist, a borderline, or other antisocial person. That's why you NEED to listen to today's episode to learn more.

Today, I'm talking about four questions you need to ask yourself so that you will CLEARLY SEE RED FLAGS! Those flags can be infrequent, somewhat hidden, or some things you have unfortunately become too used to. Seeing them is the first step in making some big, positive changes to your relationship, first the one with yourself, and then with the partner. Do it to keep yourself away from emotional abuse, moving towards greater mental health!

Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. If that's happening to you, this episode can help you clearly see that it is time for you to change your perspective, your attitude, and your strategies. You deserve to be loved and treated well. Start now!

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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3 Empowering Responses to Bullies, Backstabbers, Rhinos & Hijackals®

Sat, 14 Jul 2018 21:17:24 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

3 Empowering Responses to Backstabbers, Rhinos & Hijackals®

Some days, it's very tempting to not go to work because of the people who are there, right? When backstabbing, bullying, malicious gossip, and all the antics of toxic people are present, you have even more incentive to stay home.

Maybe, meetings take place surreptitiously, or are changed without adequate warning so that some people miss them is a way this shows up where you work. And, similar things happen at home when there are difficult, toxic people there, too.

Oh, yes, and Hijackals® and Rhinos like to take credit for things they did little or nothing to achieve, too! Sound familiar? What do you do then? Listen to these empowering strategies for ideas on your next best steps.

Bullies at work? Oh, yeah! They're there, and they wear you down and wear you out. You need these pro-active anti-bullying responses to feel safer around them...and more powerful. Because that's the issue, isn't it? They are there to make you believe they have power over you.

Of course, if they are the boss, they do. Speak up to those over your boss. Or, if that's not possible, you'll be looking for a safer place to work now, right?

When the bully is not the boss, though, you can first of all not tuck your tail between your legs and make yourself as invisible as possible. Yes, I know that might seem appealing--and with outrageous bullies that might be the only sane thing to do--however, when you make eye contact with them in a non-confronting way, you begin to take back your power.

Power games? Yes, and remember the "game" part. If you don't play, there is no game. If you can stay in "neutral" and not give an air of feeling intimated, it's a very good start.

Do you know the right path to speaking up about the bullying at work? Do you know what to say? Get good ideas and strategies in my Season 2, Episode 6 broadcast of 8 Strong Steps to Handle Bullies at Work.

It's common to feel intimidated by a bully at work. No one enjoys being around them! If you can rustle up some nonchalance, a good neutral stance, you'll feel better and be more effective.

You don't want to feel like a wuss, a doormat, or turn yourself into a pretzel around a toxic person at work, right? You want to have effective responses that reduce your stress. Really practice daily these three responses for the next month. It WILL help.

Think that bully might actually have bigger issues? Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they're there for you.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#dealingwithbullies #respondtobullies #howtorespondtoabully

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Questions To Ask To Know If It's Abuse

Sat, 07 Jul 2018 18:19:28 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

14 Questions To Ask To Know If It's Abuse

As I mentioned in previous show notes, being in an abusive relationship--even minimally abusive--is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don't notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You're cooked!

Coming to a place of recognizing abuse when it presents itself is a long journey for most people. Why? Because most people are good, willing to accept and go the extra mile, compassionate, and kind. When abusive behavior shows up, they are understanding at first. That's when it starts going sideways! And, if it happened in your home when you were a child, you didn't see it coming!

Yes, it is wise to wait and see the patterns, traits, and cycles to be clear that what you're experiencing is abusive. Many people can say one abusive thing, one time, in the heat of the moment. Abusive people do it WAY TOO FREQUENTLY!

So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a person who is momentarily going through a difficult time and is cranky, and an abusive person who has no regard for who you are, how you feel, or what you think, need, or want.

In this episode, I list fourteen--fourteen!!!--questions you need to ask yourself? If the person you have in mind is doing any, or many, of these things, it's time to wake up and smell the herbal tea. This person is being ABUSIVE!

If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.

Think about these fourteen questions. If you recognize that these fourteen are things that are consistent in your relationship, it's time to do something positive and healthy. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.

You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!

Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. .

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#istiabuse #amibeingabused #recognizingabuse #thatsabusive

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is Your Hijackal® Partner Difficult, or Actually Dangerous?

Sun, 01 Jul 2018 01:16:35 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

Is Your Hijackal® Partner Difficult, Or Actually Dangerous?

Being with a Hijackal is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don't notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You're cooked!

You want to believe that a Hijackal can change. In fact, most people in relationship with these difficult, toxic people are good people who want to believe that if they love, understand, be patient, nurture, and stand by these folks, things will get better. The likelihood of that happening is slim to none. Sure, it may happen for a week or two, but it won't stick!

So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a difficult person, and a dangerous person. In this episode, I'm giving you six things that that you will have to do differently, and why that has to happen right now.

If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.

Listen to learn about those critical six things. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.

You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!

Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. One-hour introductory session for only $97

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#difficultpartner #dangerousperson #ismypartnerdangerous

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Telling Things People Say That Show Their Passive-Aggressive Sides

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 03:39:16 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

5 Telling Things People Say That Show Their Passive-Aggressive Sides

When you experience passive-aggressive behavior from someone, it messes with your head. You question yourself. You second-guess yourself. It's crazy-making.

A passive-aggressive behavior pattern in someone leaves you feeling confused, second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. "Did I? Didn't I? I thought I did. I thought we agreed. Didn't we?" Sound familiar?

You know about Hijackals® from my books and podcasts. One thing for sure is that all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That's important to note, because passive-aggression may be the only truly annoying this about the person.

Once you can put your finger on what's so annoying, you can set some boundaries, and communicate more clearly about what you need and want. That's important with a passive-aggressive person.

(If you're wondering if the person you have in mind is actually passive-aggressive, I have a free checklist for you at PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com )

These five things in today's episode are "tells." If someone does them more than once in a blue moon, you may be watching passive-aggression play out.

Read my ebook, Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game.

Or, The Hijackal Trap: The Hidden Anger of Passive-Aggression . Both downloadable from Amazon.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Ready to talk? One-hour introductory session for only $97 BeAClient.com

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community. .

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#passiveaggressive #passiveaggression #beingpassiveaggressive

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Strong Steps To Handle Bullies at Work

Sat, 16 Jun 2018 17:49:04 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

8 STRONG STEPS TO HANDLE BULLIES AT WORK...AND, AT HOME.

You feel bullied. You see others being bullied. It's not right!

Perhaps, you shy away. You sometimes take a day off to get away from the toxic environment.

You are ready to stop this nonsense, and today, I'm going to give you some solid steps, some strong steps, to understand the bully, and know what is in your power to do about it.

If this is a workplace bully, you may think that the bully should be management's problem. True, however, management may not be doing anything about it. After all, they don't have to work with this person every day, right? You do. So, you need to do something, too.

Bullies may or may not be Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people I talk about here. It is possible that the bully is just a truly scared person who leads with their anger to avoid appearing weak. There are possibilities to consider.

And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.

A bully is afraid. It sounds strange, and it's true. A bully is afraid that s/he will not be taken seriously, noticed, or made important enough, so they take on the job themselves. They really back themselves into a corner while trying to corner you!

In today's episode, I'm talking about what to do when you have to work with--or manage--a bully, person who goes out of his or her way to intimidate others. You cannot have that if you are in management. Productivity suffers and no one wants to come to work.

You personally cannot let it just go, either. It will affect your health and well-being. You want to know the steps you can take to feel assertive and confident in the face of a bully. I know, that may not be where you want to step, but it's better than avoiding, cowering, or quitting, right?

Notice what you are feeling when you hear those eight strong steps:

Do I lose my self-esteem around the bully? Am I just giving it away? That's a possibility.
Can I now see that I am letting the bully take away my right to be myself and stand strong?
Do I need more skills to stand strong and avoid a clash of wills. Facts are facts. Stick to them.
What do I need to do--what self-talk do I need--to do things more positively with the bully?
What difference would it make if I listened to the bully to find something I could agree with?
Am I willing to work on my issues, and shore up my skills to be happier every day with my willingness to be assertive?

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help.

Ready to talk with Dr. Shaler? One-hour introductory session for only $97 BeAClient.com

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#bulliesatwork #difficultpeopleatwork #workplaceconflict #mycoworkerisabully

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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7 Warning Signs and Wake-Up Calls That Your Partner is MORE Than Selfish

Sun, 10 Jun 2018 16:30:44 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

7 WARNING SIGNS AND WAKE-UP CALLS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE MORE THAN SELFISH

You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you're with a Hijackal®! That's why it's so important to know if that's the case.

And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.

Having someone in your life who demands to be the center of attention is exhausting. Even if you just give in and let them have the limelight, you cannot help but have some resentment brewing within, and that's exhausting.

In today's episode, I'm talking about verbal signs. In fact, I've given you seven things that a MORE THAN SELFISH person will say often, or at least, seem to be saying--or behaving--all the time. And, you don't want to hear them. It makes you scream inside...if not outside, occasionally. And, that's taking a toll on you.

Notice what you are feeling when you hear those seven things.

Do these selfish attitudes pop up often in your relationship with this MORE THAN SELFISH person?
If it was/is a parent, can you recognize how this diminished you over the years?
If it is your partner, do you feel less than, neglected, and screaming "What about me?" in your head?
Is it a friend who always brings the conversation back to what's up with them?
Are you too used to living with the drama and now recognize a need for change?
Do you drag my feel about changing your relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#partneristooselfish #selfishpartner #mypartnerisselfish #selfcenteredpartner

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Sneaky Signs That Mean Long-Term Relationship Trouble

Sat, 02 Jun 2018 18:34:34 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

4 SNEAKY SIGNS THAT MEAN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE

Something is wrong. It's off. It's sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help.

You may be used to these things, and that's not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned these ways so early on that, even though you hate it, you accept it.

Time to change that. Once you really understand these four things, and TRULY ACCEPT that you cannot change them in the other person, then your life can improve by leaps and bounds. Yes, if you've been in the relationship for a long time, it might get nastier and messier for a while before it improves. Hijackals® don't like to be actually seen! They don't respond well to it.

You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. These four things are almost in their DNA: they will do them. They may do them actively and openly, or they may be covert and underhanded, but they'll do them.

Once you see these four signs, and actually believe that you cannot change them, you'll begin to go and grow in a healthier direction. Sure, it may not be easy at first, but it will get so much better. I promise.

Red flags? They are everywhere, but when you're wearing rose-colored glasses, those red flags are very hard to see. It takes real strength to whip those glasses off, once and for all. You'll see clearly, even though you may not like what you see. That's the beginning of coming into your own, to empowering yourself to stand strong.

In today's episode, I'm sharing four big signs that, once you let yourself see them for what they are, you will not be able to unsee them...unless, of course, you slip into denial and allow yourself to keep on being demeaned, discounted and distressed. You won't do that, will you?

Think about these four signs in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on. And, when you're being hurt, you want to see clearly, stand up for yourself, and say "No more!"

Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:

Am I letting these behaviors go unchecked in my relationship?
Did a parent treat me this way, so demeaning behavior somehow feels "normal?"
If someone always has to win and it isn't me, am I willing to allow this to carry on?
Have I been in denial about this because I don't know what my next best steps are?
Do I drag my feel about changing my relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?

Start with yourself. If you need help with this, I'm here for you. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.

You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#relationshiptrouble #signsofrelationshiptrouble #relationshipisgoingsouth #ismyrelationshipdying

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Things Passive-Aggressive People ALWAYS Do, But Don't Often Realize

Sun, 27 May 2018 18:15:12 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

12 THINGS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO, BUT DON'T OFTEN REALIZE.

You want to be seen, know, loved, and valued. Of course, you do. Yet, you may be afraid to really enter into relationships. One way people think protects them from intimacy is to adopt passive-aggressive behaviors.

You push people away with passive-aggressive behaviors, right when you're longing for them to come closer. The good news is that you can change. And, if the passive-aggressive behaviors belong to someone else, you can learn how to recognize what's going on and make some changes. That's what today's podcast is all about.

You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. Well, all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That's good news, because you might have been thinking otherwise.

In today's episode, I'm sharing twelve things--twelve infuriating things--that passive-aggressive people do that can drive others crazy. And, unfortunately, can drive them away.

I mentioned my free PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com site, where you can dive deeply into learning more about yourself or that person whose crazy-making behaviors are causing you to wonder if you want to be around them. Understanding what is passive-aggressive, and what is not is the best place to start. The Checklist is in-depth. In fact, it has two parts. When you complete the first and you recognize you need to know more, the checklist generates a second checklist for you to complete. It's a really effective learning tool.

Think about these twelve things in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on.

Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:

Do I ever behave in any of these ways?
How do I currently respond when others behave like this?
Is it serving me? Is it serving them?
Am I completely kind and honest in my communications?
Do I tell the truth--again kindly and honestly--when asked for my opinion, or whether or not I'll do something?
Do I drag my feet once I've agreed to do something? Does someone I care about?
How can I release my own passive-aggressive tendencies?

Start with yourself. Then, learn to manage passive-aggressive behaviors and relationships. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.

You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#passiveaggressive #passiveaggressivepeople #passiveaggressiveman #passiveaggression #totallyannoying

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Signs You Are in a Love/Hate Relationship And Need Help

Sat, 19 May 2018 18:36:12 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

There is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it's not right!

Good start! Go with your gut!

Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people, have "tells." Those are the signs that you need to see as early as possible...even if that happens after you've been with them for ten years. Or, if you were born to them and only see it all now!

In today's episode, I'll help you see how what you thought were the great traits of the person, are NOT what's real about them. Sad, right? You fell in love with Prince or Princess Charming, and now you've got the Prince or Princess of Darkness. So disappointing!

If you're like most people whom Hijackals target, though, you'll do your very best to make excuses for their bad behavior, to rationalize and justify it. You'll dance as fast as you can to do the best you can, and yet, it will never be good enough. When you're with a Hijackal, everything--and I mean everything--will be your fault. Familiar?

These twelve signs are explained in today's podcast. (There are more, and I'll save them for further discussion in other episodes.)

See these twelve signs. Think about these twelve signs. How many are present in your relationship with the Hijackal, whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, co-worker?

Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:

What makes me want to believe what they say?
Why do I not trust my gut, my intuition?
Do I ever really get a straight answer from the Hijackal?
Am I always backing down or apologizing?
Do I ever feel safe in my relationship with them?
Am I always feeling discounted, blamed, or worse, degraded?
Do they care what I think or how I feel?
Why do I think it's my job to please them?

These answers will lead you to a more healthy, balanced place now that you've heard the twelve signs in today's podcast.

You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help.

Schedule a one-hour introductory call here for only $97 BeAClient.com

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

#amIinatoxicrelationship #beingmanipulated #amibeingmanipulated #isthisnarcissistic

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Subtle Signs You're Being Manipulated and How To Stop It

Sun, 13 May 2018 04:46:08 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

Don't you just hate it when you feel manipulated? That's what happens far too often when you have a Hijackal in your life. And, you hope for better, but nothing really seems to change.

Today, I'm talking about six subtle signs to watch for, signs that you are being manipulated. They're tricky to spot because...well...you're not a Hijackal! You don't think that way. So, they are important to know about.

People who MUST manipulate do it because that's the only way they know to survive. Unfortunately, you are expected to accept it, settle for it, and allow it.

In today's episode, I hope you'll see that you have the right--and the responsibility--to step up and speak up. You know, though, that that often leads to arguments, threats, and, far too often--the silent treatment. So, do the work I'm talking about in this episode first, within yourself.

See these six signs. Then, notice what you can do to make it stop. These are things for you to change within yourself, not creating change in the Hijackal. That doesn't often happen. So, do these things to SAVE YOUR SANITY!

Stop wanting their approval.
Stop being addicted to their drama.
Stop living up to their expectations
Stop letting your boundaries slip.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#manipulativepeople #manipulators #Hijackalrelationships #ruinyourselfesteem

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BONUS: Dating Red Flags to Watch For

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 15:04:22 GMT

Sometimes they are hard to see... they don't really look red, or they're not very big... But don't ignore them. This quick episode will identify major red flags you NEED to pay attention to.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Raised by a Hijackal, a Toxic, Difficult, Even Narcissistic Parent?

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 13:00:00 GMT

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

Today. I talk about what happens if you're raised by a toxic, difficult person. What are some of the things that you might look at within yourself and:

the way your life is going
the way your relationships are going
the way you feel about yourself
the way you expand or contract in the world

That might have its basis in being raised by a difficult toxic parent somewhere deep down inside yourself.

You know you're not quite fine. You might say you are, but you know you're not and maybe you can't even put your finger on how you know you're not. So I wanted to offer some things today that might help you understand that. Deep down in there, there are some beliefs. I'm going to talk about five of them that you might just examined and see if they're true for you.

This can help you understand what a horrible gift your Hijackal parent gave you.

I created the term, Hijackals, for those people who hijack relationships for their own purposes and then scavenge them for power, status and control. A lot of parents fall into that category, so these might be good for you to work through and replace because they're mistaken beliefs about yourself. They were about the Hijackal, not about you.

Your brain grows until you're in your mid twenties, but by then, you're on a path and you may not even take time to examine what has happened to you. You think "It's just what I do," "It's just where I'm going and with whom," and you don't really recognize the impact of all that happened from the time your brain started developing, and that's huge.

Particularly what happened to us in the first two, three years of life makes a huge difference!

So think about these:

What was going on in your house before you even had language?
Who was there?
Were they happy you were?
Were they annoyed by your presence?

You were there, a baby experiencing life by putting everything in your mouth, exploring everything you could touch and trying to make those giants whom you needed to keep you alive, interested and happy. You smiled and you laughed and you made encouraging noises, trying to attract them. That didn't work.

So you cried and they responded, but how did your parents respond?

Were they loving?
Did they come in time?
Were they happy?
Were they warm?
Were they concerned about you or did they give you a feeling that you were a nuisance?
Did you feel like you should make yourself small, not take up space?

These things make a big difference in how you feel about yourself as an adult, AND how you are able to create healthy relationships.

So many beliefs you may have about yourself now, as an adult, that stem from how your Hijackal parent treated you in your early life, long before you had language. That really matters!

I encourage you to spend time and reflect on this episode, and how it played out in your own life. If your parent is judgmental, critical, and competitive, it will ring true!

And, I invite you to read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they're there for you.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#raisedbyanarcissist #toxicparents #Hijackalparent #toxicrelationships #selfesteemeroded

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tips for Divorcing a Hijackal® When Children are Involved - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Fri, 23 Mar 2018 16:58:03 GMT

When you considering divorcing a toxic person, or when you ARE divorcing a #Hijackal, and you have children, there are many considerations that might be important in other divorces.

#Hijackals MUST win. They don't really want the children as much as they want to have control over whether or not you have them. And, of course, they want control over the children, too. People--you and the children, in particular--are what we call "supply" to Hijackals. You supply them with validation, attention, interest, and all other things each one needs to feel large and in charge.

Whether you say you're leaving, or a Hijackal is discarding you, that #Hijackal still want to control the situation in every way possible.

When you have children, there are very specific things that are different and MUST be considered.

Aside from the co-parenting, there are other details its important to stay mindful and aware of when divorcing a Hijackal and you share children. Protecting your children's emotional and mental health needs to be top of the list in this process.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kids & Hijackal® Co-Parents: How to Cope

Fri, 23 Mar 2018 16:47:12 GMT

What You Need To Do For Your Kids When Co-Parenting With A Hijackal® Ex!

A #Hijackal parent is not benign: s/he affects the way your children see themselves and think about themselves. The #Hijackal parent models behavior for children long before the child even has language. Your children have already seen too much, right?

You've left, and removed yourself from the day-to-day influence of the Hijackal. Only problem with that is that your children have to go to the Hijackal's house and you have no idea what s/he is saying or doing to your kids!

On top of that uncertainty, you have to uphold the condition that most divorces in the US contain: you promise to not speak badly of the other parent to the child. Most #Hijackals ignore that. Best if you don't, though.

When the children tell you about what's going on at the other house, and how they feel about it, validate the children's feelings, and support them to view things in healthy ways.

So much to learn about coparenting with a #narcissist or other kind of Hijackal, and today's episode will help.

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

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CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

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#coparentingwithanarcissist #coparentingdifficulties #coparenting #coparentingwithahijackal

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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BONUS Q & A Should I take my Hijackal partner back again? Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Wed, 21 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT

You parted ways with a toxic partner, a #Hijackal, maybe a narcissist.

And, now s/he has come back, promising to be different and professing undying love?

Or, you were discarded by a toxic partner.

And, now you're lonely and hurting, and thinking that maybe it was all that bad?

You're thinking of apologizing for nothing you did wrong because you're trauma-bonded.

You know the answer is a flat-out "NO!" but I know that's not always easy to pull off.

Today's episode gives you some quick tips to keep your clarity and stick with your original decision and stay alone.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=%22rhoberta+shaler%22&crid=2XI4F84XB7QS3&qid=1577601563&sprefix=human+design%2Caps%2C504&ref=sr_pg_1

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#shouldItakehimback #shouldItakeherback #takinganarcissistback

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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BONUS Q&A: How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT

#Hijackals, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people, want you to feel unsure of yourself.

Keeping you on guard and off balance gives them a sense of power and control.

I'm sure you don't want to give another person power and control over:

who you are
how you are
what you do
what you think
what you feel
what you need
what you want
and what you remember.

Am I right? I'm sure I am. You're an adult and you deserve to be in a relationship that is equal, reciprocal, and mutual. Anything less than that is not healthy enough.

Not only do #Hijackals make you second-guess yourself, they put you down, wear you down, and tear you down...until you say "No more!" Today's episode is a good start.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

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BONUS: What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior, Really? Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Passive-aggressive behavior will drive you slowly round the bend!

Foot-dragging, procrastinating, truth-evading behaviors! Crazy-making!

Passive-aggressive people are often fearful of telling their truth the first time out. They will tell you what you want to hear in the moment, and then, when they don't follow through, they try and blame you for it. Crazy-making!

I've written a few books on #passive aggression and I invite you to have a look here on my Amazon page:

Want help from Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#passiveaggression #passiveaggressive #passiveaggressivebehavior #whatispassiveaggressive

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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BONUS: How Can I Learn to Trust ? Part 2 Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Wed, 07 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Trust often seems impossible, but trust is absolutely necessary for a relationship to be successful.

It's important to be able to calibrate your level of trust within a relationship consciously.

Today, I'm using a example of how trust became a major issue in a mediation within a corporate team. Imagine how that translates into a love relationship.

All the denial in the world cannot cover up the effects of a lack of trust.

Are you able to trust yourself?

Are you able to trust your partner?

Are you even willing to trust your partner?

How do you learn to trust. Listen in.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowe red Community.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#abilitytotrust #willingnesstotrust #knowingwhentotrust #livingindenial

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BONUS Q&A How to reduce the conflict and craziness in a relationship Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Is conflict something to be avoided?

Are you uncomfortable around conflict?

How do you know when to confront?

Will you confront a difficulty head-on?

What about when someone's behavior is crazy-making, or someone's behavior is confusing?

What about when you're with a toxic person, when you're with a #Hijackal?

Today's answer is to a question about setting boundaries with a person who is always blaming?

#Hijackals make everything your fault.

#Hijackals see you as prey. You're not.

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com