Warped

Episode 257 - Chain of Command Part 1

Fri, 24 May 2024 16:30:05 GMT

This week we got guest star Ronny Cox...RONNY COX!!!!!!!! We also get a nice cliff hanger and for once it's Jen-Luc that's in trouble. Join as we have made it to one of the best episodes ever, or at least the episode that leads into one of the best episodes. Next episode will be the more exciting, this episode is lot of table setting...ALOT of table setting.

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Episode 256 - The Quality of Life

Fri, 10 May 2024 16:30:29 GMT

On this weeks episode we learn once again that it is a terrible idea to keep an, essentially, all powerful Artificial Intelligence on board a spaceship. Well most people think this, not Shawn, we all know he's on board with A.I. taking over. well until out benevolent robot overlords take over enjoy this weeks Warped.

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Episode 255 - A Fistfull of Datas

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 16:30:06 GMT

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow...Nothing but professionalism here. anyways this week another romp in the holodeck, no not the Riker type of romp, Worf and Alexander. play cowboys.

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Episode 254 - Rascals

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 16:30:11 GMT

STAR TREK BABIES!!!!!!! The day has finally come. We learn what Jean-Luc looked like as a 10 year old. We learn about bad southern accents and its the return of America's favorite game. Enjoy

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Episode 253 - True Q

Sat, 06 Apr 2024 04:30:49 GMT

Q!!!! You love him, we love him. The great John Delancey is back on this week's Warped. Other topics include, The perfection that is The Sound of Music, the career of Olivia d'Abo and much more.

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Episode 252 - Schisms

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 16:30:50 GMT

If you ever wondered, "For a show with so many aliens why aren't the crew of the Enterprise probed more?" Look no further than this week's episode. You get all the probin' fun you can handle. Aside from that Shawn brings a new game to the crew and we belatedly celebrate 250 episodes.

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Episode 251 - Relics

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 17:30:24 GMT

On this weeks Warped, we welcome back an old favorite(I won't spoil it but he's everyone's favorite alcoholic, sex worker killer from TOS). On the agenda this week is how quick do people get tired of old people, The great career of Martin Short and we play another round of everyone's new favorite game. Enjoy

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Episode 250 - Man of the People

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 17:30:48 GMT

It's our Semiquincentennial episode and it's a doozy. As we plow into season 6 we come upon the worst rated episode this season so it's nice to get it out of the way early. Aside from the usual banter, Shawn brings a new game to the crew.

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Episode 61 - Spock's Brain (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 17:30:53 GMT

Hipsters Unite! Fancy Feast for some! McDonald's for others! My friends, set down your hatchets. We rise together to watch the best brain-related episode of Star Trek from Season 2. And it's not even IN season 2. Amazing! No need to get posh, though... kitty wants Taco Bell!

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Episode 62 - The Enterprise Incident (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 17:30:35 GMT

Cheez-Its.

Mommy Porn.

Cheez-Its.

Mommy Porn.

50 Shades of Phat Money.

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Episode 249 - Realm of Fear

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 17:30:47 GMT

On today's Warped, our favorite weirdo is back, IT'S LT BARCLAY TIME!!!!!!! The crew is jazzed because they finally see themselves on the screen. In this episode Barclay hates the transporter and the crew....agrees f... that s...! Anyways as we wade thru the awkwardness that is the Lt drinking water, we discuss men's reluctancy to go to the doctor (don't be a Barclay see a doctor is there's something wrong). Enjoy

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Episode 60 - The Cat From Outer Space (Part 2) (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 17:30:54 GMT

If black widow spiders feed on the remnants of your Three Cheese Pizza Stuffed Buttery Jack Gorditas while you fall asleep podcasting, and then they bite you, what superpower would you gain?

A) The ability to weave together disparate pop culture ingredients to create a wonderful cacophony of taste, confusion, and strong muscle cramps in the stomach, shoulders, and back area.

B) Buttery, Teflon-coated spider webs shoot out of your orifices. It feels really good, looks like mozzarella stringed cheese, and tastes like... well, use your Warped After Dark Imagination why don't you.

C) Narcoleptic fits during periods of severe emotional distress. Uncontrollable urge to fidget spin spider webs at all other times.

D) Intense pain, sweating, nausea and vomiting. Teary eyes, difficulty breathing. If you find your starship engaged at warp 9 for more than 14 hours, avoid all energized clouds and contact your nearest Federated Poison Control Center immediately.

Or would you just be stupid and dead? Welcome to Warped bonus commentary episodes, folks! Do we even care what "superpower" means?

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Episode 59 - The Cat From Outer Space (Part 1) (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 17:30:30 GMT

Scheduling note: We are currently back on the ranch laying down some sick commentaries for your ears. Once we have bamcked a few we will get back to a once a week format, until then we will be on an every other week schedule. so this week enjoy some more bonus content

INTERSTELLAR-POL RED NOTICE. Wanted by Federation Alliance.

ALIAS: Warped Crew.

DISTINGUISHING MARKS AND CHARACTERISTICS: Weird, funny sounding voices. P may have a deformed left thumb and missing rib cage. M is between 150 and 370 m&ms tall. Q may be balding or may be bald or has balded and will bald.

CHARGES: Endangerment of their own selves by podcasting amongst black widow spiders while consuming inordinate amounts of Taco Bell. Dangerous and outlawed body modification experiments to allow human-microphone hybrid interfacing. Early to late-80's pirating of shitty old school live-action Disney movies on VHS tapes from local mom'n'pop video shops. Failure to be kind and rewind.

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Episode 248 - Time's Arrow Part 2

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 17:30:20 GMT

I know we say this a lot, but we're back. Look it's hard out there for podcaster, especially one's that don't make any money. We don't do it for the money, but we do have to have other jobs so there you go. Anyways we are back and hopefully we will be more productive this year. It's a new year and we are starting off with a new season. That's right it's season 6 of Next Generation and we are watching the thrilling conclusion of "Data meets Mark Twain". We learn all about why Mark Twain is in San Francisco, what a good production of Hair has to contain and play one of our favorite games. Hope you enjoy

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Episode 58 - Assignment: Earth (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 17:30:17 GMT

Beep. It's getting Fast and Furious up in this Warped podcast bay. This time the crew roll up their sleeves and talk shop about the ol' rust bucket. Beep beep. Jacob demonstrates his marketing genius BEEP!! WARNING alligators detected--beep beepBBEeeEEPPPPP!!!!

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Episode 57 - Bread and Circuses (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 17:30:29 GMT

This week, the Warped crew have a conversation about some bad people doing bad things. We talk about Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, sexual abuse and similar adult topics, and grappling with these realities as every day human beings. If any of this is triggering to you, feel free to skip to our next care-free episode of this future sci-fi utopia we call Star Trek.

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Episode 55 - The Omega Glory (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 17:30:16 GMT

Hey, Becky just told me that someone called the cops on this house party. So we got about 10 minutes max before we gotta jet. Meanwhile, let's get back to Sports talk. Jocks and nerds. Instant pot and deep fryer. Wookie dick and spotted dick. Fannies are lady parts and consent before compliments. Famous rivalries all. We learn which one comes in a can and which one is chewy. Yo, Shawn's having people over at his place. Don't tell anyone. See ya there!

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Episode 54 - By Any Other Name (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 17:30:41 GMT

What's up! It's Sports talk. Grab a beer and a coozy, brah. If you're looking for the nerds, hit up the next episode. But yo, we're gonna talk about nipples and cocks if you wanna hang.

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Episode 52 - Return to Tomorrow (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 17:30:13 GMT

And that kids, is how Uncle Spock got his pointy ears. Good night now. Sweet dreams! Shhh... **tuck** **kiss** **closes door** **pours stiff Romulan ale** **sits down**

Now, for a little adult-oriented "wheeeee" time. Put on some headphones and join us, as the Warped crew sneak in some bawdy tales from dusty deserts. Here, we glimpse the early beginnings of Minh's pon farr. Why would a man choose to walk the desert so? For spiritual enlightenment, or just the boobies?

Erin demands that we Punch that Triangle! Typical. K-erin.

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Episode 51 - A Private Little War (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 17:30:51 GMT

Greeting Warpies

Just a heads up on what to expect for the fearless drew of the NCC-0420 Starship Warped. The rest of the year will be filled with more Bonus Commentary episodes (If you like what you hear go to www.patreon.com/warped and become a patron for only $5 a month and get access to all the bonus episodes) We will return in January with all new episodes.

Warpedddd... After Darrkkkkkk! We're getting fired the eff up, popping shots of that sweet angel dust, and spilling moonshine all over the electronics. The crew get a little sloppy and talk lady parts. That's right, if you have too many kids your vagina can fall out! You heard it here first. D.A.R.E. to not do drugs, kids... or too many kids, drugs. But if you do (don't), definitely (do) order pizza from Pizzaroni's before hand.

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Episode 50 - The Immunity Syndrome (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 17:30:39 GMT

Brother against brother and sister. Lines are drawn in the sand as the Warped crew take up their bat'leths. Which side will you fight for in the Battle Over "Blind Side," the much loved Oscar-nominated movie with Sandy Bullock. Where does your heart lie in the March on Maroon 5? Find out with us!

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Episode 49 - A Piece of the Action (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 17:30:51 GMT

Stardate 2376.7 - Was it New Year's when we recorded this? Most likely, captain.

Was this supposed to be released Feb 1? Insufficient data.. captain.

This time around, strong opinions are bandied about Jack Black. Time. Saints and sinners. Snake... massage. The crew wonders, "Are we hot?"

Maybe we've opened our kimonos too much to you. Forgive us, we're adjusting.

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Episode 48 - The Gamesters of Triskelion (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 17:30:55 GMT

The Warped crew start to get comfortable with one another, sharing family planning advice that they've learned from their parents, how they make it through Jacob's call for silence (which may be stressful for some?), and showing off some icky-but-cool pictures from the interwebs. They also discuss the sanguine choice of holiday decor at The White House. Sometimes you just can't leave your past behind.

How many times did they try to get the episode started? More than one and less than five. Pretty impressive for a six-and-a-half-minute bit.

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Episode 47 - The Trouble with Tribbles (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 17:30:53 GMT

In one of our longest bonus episodes ever, we take some time to recover from a snack-induced lethargy. We're inspired to talk about Warped merchandise, celebrate a new patron, and chat about some of the bits that landed in the Warped graveyard. We dish on some local scandals, spill the beans on our ear wax situation, and go deep geek on MST3K.

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Episode 45 - Obsession (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 16:30:42 GMT

The crew does some on-boarding and updating for one of our favorite special guests.

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Episode 44 - The Deadly Years (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 16:30:25 GMT

As we enter the back half of "The Original Series", the crew recounts their experience with the movie, Memento, catches up with Guy Pearce, and gives some insight into our episode prep while working on some bits.

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Episode 43 - Friday's Child (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 16:30:11 GMT

The crew talks about some new segments and acknowledgements. We put out a request for an intern to help with us out with our tech. We talk about the reason we discourage people from watching from the beginning, and we get some positive feedback about our clip shows.

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Episode 42 - Journey to Babel (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 16:30:44 GMT

This episode's bonus content features book chat about literature that tempts and titillates. Erin and Philippe repair their straining marriage and our listenership drops dramatically as a result.

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Episode 41 - Metamorphosis (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 16:30:40 GMT

We kick things off on this bonus commentary with a Venom retrospective. We talk about movie scenes that redeem otherwise terrible flicks, and we have what is probably the dumbest interaction ever while trying to riff off the episode title.

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Episode 40 - I, Mudd (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 16:30:57 GMT

While getting warmed up for Warped After Dark, we briefly chat about George Michael, Gymkata, mouse pads, cats, cat mouse pads, and cat DJ's with pizza.

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Episode 38 - The Doomsday Machine (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 16:30:44 GMT

It's all about Bugles and Taco Bell here on Warped. Keeping things upscale and fancy like we do. Finally, you can listen to the great taco saga as it unfolds

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Episode 39 - Catspaw (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 16:30:37 GMT

This bonus clip shows how we came up with the permanent Special Guest Star credit for Erin. We also chat about Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Chris Hemsworth, cute Chidi from The Good Place, and the not-so-cute visitors at Dollywood. Matt unleashes his wrath upon the microphone stand in Warped Podcast's first casualty.

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Episode 37 - The Apple (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 16:30:22 GMT

Various topics, such as Frasier, LEGO DC Villains, local weather, and car accidents, all lead us into a discussion about our most loyal listeners. Also featured: some Real World and Road Rules chat. True Story!

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Episode 35 - The Changeling (Bonus Content)

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 16:30:47 GMT

This bonus commentary passes through West Virginia on its way to some solid True Crime recommendations, the Good Place, our famous clip show episodes, and Ken Burns.

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Episode 247 - Galaxy Quest (Part 2)

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 16:30:36 GMT

If you missed the last episode go back and listen to part1 before you listen to the stunning conclusion. Man is it hard to watch movies we like, heavy Chris Farley Show vibes if you get the reference. But we manage to have a few conversations beyond "This part is great""Wasn't that part great". Enjoy

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Episode 34 - Who Mourns for Adonais? (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 16:30:52 GMT

We join the crew as they are discussing pretentious Star Trek titles. We chat about Tab Hunter, Jim Nabors, and other closeted actors of the 50's and 60's. Before we officially did it as a recommendations segment, we dive into the documentaries and podcasts that we love. Also, Matt thinks we all sound the same, and Philippe takes this as an opportunity to give everyone some constructive feedback on their microphone technique.

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Episode 246 - Galaxy Quest (Part 1)

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 16:30:20 GMT

It's that time again, where we give ourselves a break form watching Star Trek and watch a BONUS MOVIE. Of course this time we watch a movie that's basically Star Trek. That's right it's Galaxy Quest time!!!!! We love this movie so you know what that means, lots of this part is awesome talk. We also delve into other important issues like favorite movie studio logos, what movie didn't Shawn see in the theater and why does Erin hate Love Actually so much. (she's basically a Love Actually hipster, she hated it before it was cool)

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Episode 33 - Amok Time (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 16:30:47 GMT

Matt breaks down his experience with the High School Boy simulator known as Persona 5. Mary Poppins takes a dark turn, particularly in the lung area. There's bonus material INCEPTION as we talk about bonus material. STD Wheel of Fortune gets retired. Take a peek under the hood as we try to rein in our cross-talk, move stuff around, and listen to Shawn as he fails to start the actual episode.

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Episode 245 - Time's Arrow Part 1

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 16:30:11 GMT

This week Star Trek takes Huey Lewis to heart. "They gotta get back in time" Although we love the timey wimey stuff, it gives Erin a headache. Of course we couldn't get by without talking about the crankiest, slimiest old man...Mark Twain.

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Episode 30 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Part 2) (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 16:30:31 GMT

Warped is in a slow down at the moment, so we will be coming out with new episodes every other week for a while. Alternate weeks will continue with unlocking bonus content from the patreon. Hope you enjoy and stay tuned to next week with the finale of season 5

Over 25 minutes of bonus podcast here as we discuss everything from The Twilight Zone to Fortnite.

Shawn recounts an emotional episode of Penn and Teller's Bulls**t and is moved to tears.

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Episode 244 - The Inner Light

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 16:30:50 GMT

As reach the end of season 5, we come upon what some claim to be the greatest episode of Star Next TNG. However Shawn has some problems with the aliens form the episode's plan (I mean seriously how important is your freaking society). But I digress, it's a great story and Patrick Stewart is amazing. blah, blah, blah. They effing probe is mind without consent that is some f***ed up s***, if ask me. Anyways I hope you enjoy

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Episode 29 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Part 1) (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 16:30:19 GMT

Hello listeners, just a heads up new episodes will be back starting next week. Until then enjoy the last of the patreon bonus commentary. Remember for more of this please become a patron at www.patreon.com/warped

Take a deep look behind the scenes of Warped as we take a hard look inward in an attempt to better ourselves.

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Episode 28 - Operation: Annihilate! (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 18:09:53 GMT

The crew gabs about Batman Returns, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the various incarnations of Superman.

Plus! We play the traditional game of STD Hangman.

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Episode 27 - The City on the Edge of Forever (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 16:30:27 GMT

This week's bonus commentary features discussion about toxic fandom, developing one's taste for children's cinema, and an intimate exploration of Hayley Mills.

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Episode 24 - The Devil in the Dark (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 16:30:05 GMT

Today's Patron-only commentary contains over 18 minutes of conspiracy theories. What a value!

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Episode 23 - This Side of Paradise (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 16:30:16 GMT

This week's Patron commentary gets a little wild as we discuss the meaning and implications of the phrase, "Open the kimono."

Not gonna lie, we go into a pretty deep Frasier hole on this one. The Frasier talk is definitely too hot for our regular show.

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Episode 22 - A Taste of Armageddon (Bonus Commentary)

Fri, 26 May 2023 16:30:00 GMT

While the crew is on vacay, we thought we'd have some fun. We will be releasing some bonus commentary every week. These are the things you get when you become a patron our our patreon

Today's bonus commentary features the inaugural round of a brand-new game that's infecting the nation: STD Wheel of Fortune.

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Episode 243 - The Next Phase

Fri, 19 May 2023 16:30:15 GMT

Are you afraid of G-g-g-g-hosts??? How about OUT OF PHASE PEOPLE. spoooooky ANYWAYS i think Star Trek wanted to tell a ghost story without killing anybody and they basically succeed. It's nice to know that Standard Ghost Rules (or SGR "patent pending") still work on out of phase people. They can walk through walls but somehow don't float through the floors. They can ride the turbolift but can be thrown OUT OF THE SHIP. Whatever it's a romp and it's called The Next Phase. A little housekeeping, the crew is going to take a short break to refuel are nacelles (is that right?) We will be back soon and in the meantime there will be content every week. Some archive stuff and some stuff only the patreons get to here so please keep listening and in a short while we will finish up season 5 start season 6 and Spock willing we will get to the show that was why Shawn wanted to do this whiole show in the first place DEEP SPACE MOTHER EFFING NINE. Stay Tuned

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Episode 242 - I Borg

Fri, 12 May 2023 16:30:58 GMT

Finally the crew gets wise and lets our benevolent robot overlords take over the show. But even more important than that, this episode is the return of crew member Minwin. He sure picks a good one too, as we are watching I, Borg today. Empathy for the Borg you got to be kidding me.

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Episode 241 - Imaginary Friend

Fri, 05 May 2023 16:30:58 GMT

This week, we got us an old fashioned energized cloud. This time in the form of a mean little girl. The episode isn't great so we trail off into conversations about the crews lack of imagination. I mean no one had an imaginary friend. Phillipe tried but found it too much work. Also, we ask the greatest question: Why is Guinan in this episode?

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Episode 240 - The Perfect Mate

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 16:30:07 GMT

Hop on board the USB Enterprise where we voyage in search of an ideal companion and a tall Ferengi. Some of the crew need to excuse themselves to Holodeck 4 halfway through the episode, but it's clear that Riker has just been in there and no one has had a chance to tidy up. This episode raises some serious questions about free will, but the two things we can draw from our experience is that we should take our shoes off before jumping in the dolphin tank, and it's also open season for peeing in Shawn's hot tub.

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Episode 239 - Cost of Living

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 06:34:26 GMT

Here we are part 2 of our holiday special. See you got one late and one early, how generous are we. Plus you get to listen to us talk about what Matt calls "the worst episode of Star trek The Next Generation". It's a good one!

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Episode 238 - The First Duty

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 06:32:06 GMT

I bet you thought we forgot about you. But know we just took this holiest of holidays as a chance to have some fun. So we released the episode a little late, we couldn't help ourselves. So sit back, light up and listen to Wesley's return.

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Episode 239 - Cost of Living (Bonus Material)

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 16:30:31 GMT

And the final present this holiday season. a glimpse at exclusive Patreon patron content. If you like what you hear think about subscribing. We have several pieces of bonus material, and you get early access to episodes.

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Episode 237 - Cause and Effect

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 16:30:21 GMT

It's one of the best episodes of Star Trek ever. It's Shawn's favorite. It's Cause and Effect!!!!! The crew is jazzed for this one (well most of the crew...looking at you May). In this episode we learn some interesting things about Beverly's nighttime routine. We also think she might be an alcoholic. Between this week and last we also think poker brings out the prejudice side of Worf. Directed by Riker himself, we love this one. Enjoy!!!

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Episode 236 - The Outcast

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 16:30:18 GMT

This week Star Trek dips its toe into the muddy waters of gender. Is it progressive for 1992...sure, does it slam the door shut on the conversation... of course. But we give it full marks for trying. We also ponder why Worf has to be sexist and kinda homophobic? We also think this episode would be super cringe if it were Geordi instead of Riker.

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Episode 235 - Ethics

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 16:30:11 GMT

In this weeks episode we take on Star Trek's opinions on euthanasia. Being as subtle as as a jackhammer, per usual. But we suffer through so we can give you things like Philippe's porn name. And is you listen to this episode we are going to sign an NDA for the billion dollar idea we have...ah never mind it's phone booths!!!!!

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Episode 234 - Power Play

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 16:30:06 GMT

In this week's episode we set a record for most crew members who have watched the show (if you happen to know whether that's true or not email us at warpedthepodcast@gmail.com). We learn that Phillipe should NOT watch the episodes, he just gets mean. Whatever it's a fun romp with Brent Spiner getting to show is chops and Marina Sirtis phasers a bunch of people. Sit back and enjoy.

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Episode 233 - Conundrum

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 17:30:26 GMT

The Enterprise crew loses their memories and we lose our friggin' minds. It's a small crew again but we're here for the crazy. Data as a bartender...check. Worf thinks he's captain because of his sash...check. Riker getting booty...DOUBLE CHECK!!!! But now let's get down to some serious talk, opossum news is getting dark. I mean it's one of our favorite bits but the news stories recently have been depressing and today's is no different. We hope you enjoy.

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Episode 232 - The Masterpiece Society

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 17:30:14 GMT

This weeks episode is missing some key ingredients but we added something very surprising to the recipe...ERIN WATCHED THE EPISODE!!!!!!!! Alright everyone calm down or you will hyper ventilate. Are you ready to proceed or you need a sec. Ok now since she watched I let her describe the episode. "For a planet based around eugenics they sure didn't breed anyone with a sense of fashion." Woo howdy is she right. If you learn nothing lese today it should be, eugenics can only take you so far.

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Episode 231 - Violations

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 17:30:57 GMT

Coming in hot this week, Matt has some controversial opinions about the ship's counselor. But then we settle into a warm conversation about Fonts and all is right with the world. That's right Fonts. We talk about Fonts for 20 minutes. Fonts. FONTS!!!!!!! Are we effing crazy. Like a fox (or more like possum). Finally Matt mixes up Elf and Alf and confuses the hell out of everyone.

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Episode 230 - Hero Worship

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 17:30:36 GMT

Things Phillipe loves: Jodie Foster. Things Phillipe doesn't like: Speech patterns of androids. On this weeks Warped you learn these things plus, Do hairbrushes in the future come pre-gelled? and was the Enterprise built on an Native American burial ground. Plus a deep dive into the American Music Awards from 1992.

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Episode 229 - New Ground

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 17:30:08 GMT

All together now!!!!!!

Baby Worf do doo doo doo

Baby Worf Do doo doo doo

That's right its the return of Alexander (with the legend Brian Bonsall this time). But not only is it the return of Alexander, more importantly its the return of....THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!

We also get to hear Shawn pronounce Klingon months and the word honor a feww hundred times.

Warped presents New Ground

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Episode 228 - Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (Part 2)

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 17:30:04 GMT

We're finishing up the last movie for the original series cast and we send them off with a banger, which we think is a secret Thanksgiving movie (look out internet we've got the next "Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?" for you to unpack. We find out Imdb voters don't know s**t (we already knew that). Ally Sheedy wrote a children's book (we didn't know that). Where is Springfield on The Simpsons (nobody knows that). Finally is the ISS dirty or just smelly (hopefully after this episode everyone will know that). We hope you love this episode, which has got too be in the running for longest Warped ever, as much as we love this movie.

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Episode 227 - Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (Part 1)

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 17:30:48 GMT

Most of you know we watch the episode (or movie in this case) while we record. And we watch with the closed caption on. But did you know HBO Max has a slew of options when it comes to closed captions appearances!!! Well listen to this episode and you will. Otherwise this is Shawn's favorite original series movie so its got that going for it. Enjoy

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Episode 226 - A Matter of Time

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 17:30:49 GMT

There's time in the title so you know time is going to be an issue. While we slog through the grating performance of Matt Freuer, we try to figure out "is he most famous for being Max Headrom?" We then try to describe what Max Headrom is and fail miserably. Something about a Coke commercial, whatever did you know Robin Williams was suppose to play the part? We answer that question and ponder how hairy is Riker and does having a big penis mean you have a big penis hole? Ah Warped, philosophers of the modern era.

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Episode 225 - Unification II

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 17:30:56 GMT

The Warped crew is back for Part 2 of Spock actually shows up this time. So we're pretty excited. Matt's so excited he brings back not 1 but 2 of his favorite bits. We figure out the Vulcan version of "Schwing" on their "Wayne's World". And most important we figure out what you call Data when he uses robot powers to break the rules of the show. All this and more on Unification II

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Episode 224 - Unification I

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 17:30:27 GMT

Happy New Year !!!!!!

I know we've been away for awhile but we are starting the new year off right. We are bringing you the most exciting thing to happen to nerds in 1991...The Return of Spock. That's right we are watching Unification I. Matt tells the story of his young nerd heart being filled with anger when Mr. Spock only shows up for 2 seconds at the end of the episode. So since not much happens in the episode we can focus on more important things like "How many people does it take to open a bag of peanut brittle (Spoiler alert its more than 1). Shawn gets to talk about his favorite topic, 90's Sitcom's, his favorite may surprise you. In the end we do get to see Leonard Nimoy's face and we look forward to part 2 when he actually has multiple scenes.

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Episode 154 - Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (Part 1)

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 15:02:29 GMT

Hello Warpies, (trademarked name for our fans)

just a quick heads up this will be our last post of 2022. New episodes coming in 2023. We appreciate your patience this year and look forward to giving you all the eat feels next year

we love you

signed the Warped Crew

Context is King as we explore the mysterious world of Sha Ka Ree (is that Sean Connery?) It's a deep dive into favored nations contracts, special effects catastrophes, and naked Nichelle Nichols. Was Scotty/Uhura something that ANYONE ever wanted? It's weird, but we actually talk a lot about Star Trek in this one, for a change.

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Episode 155 - Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (Part 2)

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 15:02:06 GMT

Once upon a time, a person made a movie, and then wrote a book about that movie describing all the things that went wrong, none of which were his fault. I'm not naming names.

It's a blockbuster episode for a blockbuster(?) movie this week as we continue our deep dive into Star Trek V! Matt reads Shatner's book while Minh reads Isaac Asimov! Shawn crushes both the box office game and only connect! Erin and Matt cover some classic call-waiting mishaps and Minh imagines Bugle Heaven! We mock but then defend the legacy of Jim Belushi! And, most importantly, we all wonder how many middle-aged men can one set of Floaty Boots be expected to hold?

All this plus recommendations for The Prom, Slings & Arrows, and Let Them All Talk. Happy Valentine's everyone!

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Episode 107 - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (Part 2)

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 15:14:35 GMT

We ignore Shawn's muffled cries from the closet so we can bear down, finish this flick, and enjoy the generation of Star Trek that we so richly deserve. We join Kirk for a dinner with some terrible breadsticks. The most important lesson from this half of the film: stop dating guys who live at the park. Serious red flag.

We express our gratitude that someone has taken it upon themselves to up Chekov's outfit game. Erin gets really, really comfy for Corrections Corner. We revisit Heaven's Gate, Abraham Lincoln, Paw Paw, and various fictitious Edens. Don't skimp out on our meat!

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Episode 106 - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (Part 1)

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 15:14:15 GMT

It's the one with the whales! Shawn is out on vocal rest for the next couple weeks, so we fall right into the warm embrace of the sofa crack left in his absence.

Erin is plugged into the pulse of 1986 and nails Box Office Trivia to the wall. We mark the farthest and fastest falls from grace in recent memory and salute the production designer who slam dunked the easiest job of his career.

Minh plies us all with White Russians to get us in the right mood for podcasting. Be sure to listen until he has a chance to finish his porpoise fornication redemption story.

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Episode 105 - Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (Part 2)

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 14:56:05 GMT

Repeated visits to the craft services table means we're going to need a bunch of alterations made to our crew uniforms over the course of the podcast. We explore the dangers of synthol. It's only logical that Spock would employ his epic 3D chess-inspired machinations to achieve a pon farr session that lasts his entire adolescence. Erin is experiencing the third part of her trilogy of emotions about our Genesis trilogy naming convention comments, so she's just about completely over it. Scotty overshares about his plans for a future Enterprise. We talk about Cloud Minders and satisfy the Potter Heads during Corrections Corner. Who is the boss? It's Mona. Mona is the boss. Also, listen to our Oscar favorites after the Oscars have already aired. How close were we on our Best Picture predictions? Listen to find out!

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Episode 104 - Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (Part 1)

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 14:55:48 GMT

Welcome to part one of the second movie in the Genesis trilogy, or as the common folk refer to it: Star Trek III. Now that all ambiguity has been removed, please send your thoughts and prayers to aid us in sufficiently patching together Matt's audio with the reused bubblegum and yarn that holds this show together. Matt demotes James Doohan during Corrections Corner, and goes to bat for Kirstie Alley in a big way. Relax your perms, Halley's comet is coming back and we should be able to think of a non-Phil Collins song by then. If anybody has a better name for these doors that are in space than Space Doors, please let us know. Of all the episodes of Warped I have known, this one is the most... "HUMAN"!

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Episode 103 - Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (Part 2)

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 07:31:14 GMT

We're back with the second half of The Wrath of Khan and NOBODY IS WATCHING THE DAMN KIDS! Listen to our Sex and the City reboot ideas, and join us for the pilot episode of Golden Guys, premiering much sooner than we'd like to admit. I know this show can be confusing sometimes, but just remember to tell yourself that "they're doing a thing" and it will all start to make sense. You can come see Jake in the latest iteration of his improv team, Vaguely Lion-O. Matt does a good job of remembering the lines of the movie before they come up, but we still ask him to switch seats so we can enjoy ourselves without his constant mumbling. We can't pull off the preppy over-the-shoulder sweater look; we're strictly around-the-waist sweater folk. Erin activates the option in her contract to only come for half of the movie episodes. P.S. guys, I'm Scottish.

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Episode 102 - Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (Part 1)

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 07:30:53 GMT

Heat Warped fans. You may have noticed a lack of new content, well let’s say the cress been on leave for a while and plan on taking a rest through the end of 2022. We will be back with new episodes in 2023. We appreciate all our fans who have stuck with us. Enjoy these bonus episodes of the original cast movies staring with “The best” Star Trek has to offer.

It's "The Best That Star Trek Ever Gets" this week on Warped. Once again, the Internet is proven to be a terrible, terrible thing, but we still use it to go HARD on a game of Box Office Trivia. Ricardo Montalbán pours syrup all over our pancakes. Unlike Khan, the Warped crew has mellowed with age. Just a quick spoiler warning, there will be a Warped rendition of the Family Ties theme song after the timeshare promo video for the new Genesis planet. Not sure what that spoils exactly. Maybe your appetite?

Honestly, we love this whole dang flick. Except for the safety suits. They do NOTHING!

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Episode 32 - Now That's What I Call Warped (Volume 2)

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 14:45:44 GMT

Matt and Jake are back with another episode of Warp's greatest hits. In our continuing series, we present more of the zaniest highlights from the podcast's so-called Silver Age. This time around we revisit our fondness of mattress talk, completely accurate Gene Roddenberry impressions, and our one true-love, Frasier. Seriously, the enthusiasm for Frasier on this show is off the charts.

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Episode 31 - Now That's What I Call Warped (Volume 1)

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 14:45:25 GMT

As Warped gears up for another exciting season of Star Trek, we're taking some time to look back on the past year, reflecting on how far we've come and how far we have left to go. This week, Matt and Jake sit down and highlight their favorite moments from the first 9 episodes of Warped. If you've never heard some of our earlier work - trust me - this is a much better way to listen to it. I mean, some of those earlier shows... just, yikes!

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Episode 223 - The Game

Fri, 11 Nov 2022 17:30:15 GMT

!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!

This week we bring back two of your favorite bits. But first in Star Trek news we learn what Riker's sex play is like. We also learn what each of the crews O-Face looks like. Most astonishingly, we ask the question "Is Wesley a Player?" Now that the boring stuff is out of the way. This week marks the return of Correction Corner AND Connect Em All. YES!!!!!!!!

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Episode 222 - Disaster

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 16:30:15 GMT

We know there's a thousand Star Trek podcasts, and maybe some will talk about using the bathroom on the Enterprise, but will any of them come up with the "They beam it out of you" theory...I don't think so. But that's why you listen to Warped. I mean where else are you going to hear debates like "How is Frere Jacques still a thing 200 years in the future", "what's the best way to get more listeners and is the answer going right wing" and "What's Picard's worst nightmare". And if that's not enough Phillipe has all the feels for old baby actors. Why wouldn't you listen to Warped!!!

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Episode 221 - Silicon Avatar

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 16:30:42 GMT

On this weeks episode, Shawn's a little upset about the Quantum Leap reboot and that they didn't use his idea. He's not sure about the reboot (spoiler: He has since seen the show and actually likes it!!!!). But just because NBC/Universal didn't listen to us, it's not too late for you Paramount/Viacom, to get in the Warped business with "Star Trek Babies". Have your person call ours. We also discuss whether a video game can be funny, plus the latest installment of our classic new segment "Opossum News"

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Episode 220 - Ensign Ro

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 16:30:59 GMT

Well we're back sort of. We had to resort to Skype for this episode and when you hear it you'll see why we haven't posted in awhile. But we do get into some fun conversations. Who would you recast in a reboot of MASH (spoiler: It's Meryl Streep). What's the most obscure reference someone could make (spoiler: It's got big teeth). and what's the best video game ever (spoiler: It's Pong) All that and the birth of the Bajorans on this week's Warped

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Episode 219 - Darmok

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 16:30:49 GMT

Today we tackle what is arguably the best episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and boy are we jacked. I don't think we've talked as much about Star Trek before. We do find time to discuss what other things the episode is like. We also return to an all time favorite CORRECTIONS CORNER!!!!!! Plus we add a new bit. We hope by the end you are saying "Sokath - his eyes uncovered"

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Episode 218 - Redemption II

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 16:30:13 GMT

First we would like to apologize for the break in content. The Warped crew let life get in the way. But WE'RE BACK BABY!!!!!! Today we start Season 5 of TNG and its Klingon time. You can think of this a kinda reboot as we have a new intro and Matt is watching a lot more British shows. Thank you for listening

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Way Better Than Prince of Tides

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 16:30:00 GMT

Episode 217 - Velocipastor, Part 2

It's another delightful romp with our favorite "not a pastor but a priest" Velocipastor, as we wrap up Part 2 of this zany goofball comedy which doesn't take itself too seriously. Just how we like it! Grab a drink or a smoke or whatever it is you enjoy grabbing and join us while we laugh ourselves silly.

You think there has't been enough of the velociraptor-pastor so far? Ohhhh, just you wait...

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It's Pure Joy, It's Joyful!

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 16:30:00 GMT

Episode 216 - Velocipastor, Part 1

It was the end of a Star Trek season, so you know what that means... yea baby, it's movie time!! Beam us up, Scotty!

::magic teleporter noises::

But, but how did we end up here? Where are we even? Was Velocipastor even on Warped's "To Watch" movie list? Who knows and who cares! Philippe pulled host's privileges to spring one crazy bit of cinema on us.

Grab your testaments (new and old) and join us, as the laughter and confusion abound from corners unexpected in our viewing of this boldly campy movie.

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Episode 215 - The Grooves of Gowron

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 16:30:19 GMT

Episode 215 - Redemption Part 1

It's a season finale so you know the Warped crew is in fine spirits. and hey it's an episode about Kilngons so you know Shawn's happy. and it's a Whoopi ep so that means an Erin intro so you know that's always good. What else can i say (nothing actually because I didn't listen to the episode, I'm just writing the notes...Shhh, don't tell anyone.)

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Before We Begin Though...

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 16:30:00 GMT

It's a very special introduction you won't want to miss! Erin, our favorite host next to Matt (who is also our favorite host), pleasures us early on with a heart-warming boomer's past time.

This episode gives us an opportunity to dissect the dating and relationship approaches of our Star Trek crew and we revel in! It seems to be our favorite activity. This gets us into a discussion about Data's unmentionables, which we end up mentioning quite a bit. We do somehow manage to engage in positive conversation about social mores. Patty Stews makes some interesting directorial choices and at the end of it all, we realize we'll always have our Spot.

Being Warped, we are contractually obligated to end on a bad note, so feel free to shut us off before then! Oh, you'll know...

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It's Just Geordi!

Fri, 27 May 2022 16:30:31 GMT

In this episode, our favorite (but really, our only) chief engineer right now, Geordi La Forge, has quite the adventure! While that's somewhat intriguing, we're more interested in the alternative relationships we've dreamed up between some of the ST crew. Shawn and Philippe get slightly carried away with the fantasy (or is it?).

Shawn then carries us through the fourth quarter as he tosses out hot takes for some cold movies. Hot takes, gitcher hot takes!

Trigger warning: Warped talks.

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It's All F, F, F!

Fri, 20 May 2022 16:30:00 GMT

It was a mistake, it's all been a mistake. You gentle souls left in our audience may want to take Jake's advice and skip this episode. But for the daring and dastardly amongst the rest of you, we've done some heavy editing to make this episode presentable.

So if you're ready to see Dr. Crusher get her crush on, the Warped crew is gonna ride this log-jam all the way to gravy town. From digital insertions to alienism to a moral examination of the trill's questionable lifestyle, we're about to rock your world, baby. Or wait, is that just us throwing ourselves off this cliffside of cringe.

You can decide for yourself... or not.

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Episode 211 - Jerry Orbach Played Lumiere?!?!?!

Fri, 13 May 2022 16:30:43 GMT

Ep. 211 - Half a Life

It's the return of some many things this week on Warped. First the return of Lwaxana Troi and all the horniness that comes with her. More importantly it's the return of Corrections Corner with a double dose of corrections. Which means we talk about penis vs ball size. You know its tough to be funny watching an episode that's basically trying to argue old people aren't useless but we try. All this plus what's the story with Gates's hair: Wig or not. Plus it finally happens, Google gets asked a question it can't answer. Way to go Phillipe!!!!

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Re-sitting Thinking

Fri, 06 May 2022 21:00:00 GMT

Episode 210 - The Drumhead

Having missed our very fun 4/20 viewing of Qpid, Warped regular minwin is back as we celebrate Matt's birthday in these next two episodes. Happy birthday, Matt! You're truly a gem and we wouldn't be who we are without you. We're also joined by regular guest May.

The crew talk about their love for the Escape Room and (somewhat surprisingly) the Saw movie series. We then get lost in this episode's talented guest actor, Gene Simmons, and her possible relation to a famous tongue.

But it's down to business when Star Trek court room antics heat up the screen. There has never been a more thorough examination of the sitting devices in a Star Trek episode than that performed by the Warp crew. And it is, much like the early Saw movies, also surprisingly entertaining.

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Episode 209 - George Lucas Is the Devil

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 16:30:54 GMT

Episode 209 - Qpid

On this weeks Warped things get sexy as Q returns, Jean-Luc has a lady caller and, sexiest of all, Shawn tells us how he sleeps. Also discussed are the best and worst twist endings and why George Lucas is the devil. All that plus a classic Producer Jake zinger on a brand new Warped. We Love You Minh!!!!!!!!

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Episode 208 - The Most Complicated Unfurling of all Time

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 16:30:04 GMT

Warped Episode 208 The Nth Degree

It's the return of Lt. Barclay, so everyone is pretty hyped. Who would have thought a room full of Rosses would relate to Barclay. You are listening to Warped so you know we tackle the important questions of the day. Questions like: What do you call the area between the chin and the boobs? Is Dwight Schultz the greatest actor form the A-Team? and What the heck is the James Webb telescope? All this plus several pieces of our most popular bit: Corrections Corner!!!!!!

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It's Called Riker's Island (If You Know What I Mean)

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 16:30:26 GMT

Episode 207 - Identity Crisis

Here's some trivia: before beginning an episode, every podcast records what's called "room tone," which is several seconds of silence that's used to eliminate background noise during editing. The Warped crew is TERRIBLE at doing this, and your humble editor thought it was time you heard that for yourselves.

Back on the 1701-D, Geordi has a real up and down week. On the plus side, he has a lady friend that he isn't gross or weird around. On the minus side, he turns into a veiny blue alien. It's for weeks like these the shrug emoji was invented.

Meanwhile, Matt sings the praises of Jackass Forever, Shawn fills us in on what's new at Dave & Busters, Erin recalls the joys of 90s as-seen-on-tv hair products, and Phillippe reveals what exact percentage of human is too low to get low. (Spoiler: It's lower than you'd think.) All that and the challenges of freeze acting, this week on Warped!

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Those Are Ears You Grab Onto, Baby!

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 21:31:42 GMT

It's the second half of our Wickedly Warped Welcome Back recording session, and things are still decidedly wooly. Philippe is mostly off tending to his offspring (loving father that he is), while Erin somehow gets caught in one of those crazy space rifts we keep on seeing pop up in Star Trek. How weird is that?

Matt, our dear leader, throws some titillating questions at us, the answers to which just might surprise you. Although.. maybe not? It's Warped after all!

Listen in this episode, and learn...

"Who's the oldest famous (living) person you would have sex with?"

We really do learn so much about ourselves.

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Did You Miss Us???

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 16:30:32 GMT

Welcome Back!!!! After a 3 month break we are back with new episodes. Again we want to thank you for sticking with us during the break. This week we are watching Galaxy's Child and boy did the writers do Geordi dirty in this one. Aside from the lengthy conversation about work place sexual harassment, we also discuss the presence of space pierogi. Unfortunately most of the second half of the episode gets lost in a haze of Taco Bell but you'll enjoy it. Oh and look out for another gem by Producer Jake.

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Bonus bonus Episode 86 - The Last Starfighter (Part 2)

Fri, 25 Mar 2022 13:57:44 GMT

Here’s part 2

We're back! And we're spending way too much time describing the awesomeness of The Last Starfighter. The crew is in high spirits while discussing things like Robert Preston, Elton John, Tiny Dancer, Music Man, Victor/Victoria, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood... Wait, I better stop before this description becomes a "We Didn't Start the Fire" parody.

After Shawn gets a citation, we gab about the shows we've wasted our life watching more than once all the way through. We learn that Maggie Smith is the Nick Fury of Downton Abbey, Philippe is not at all convinced that the other starfighters are dead, and we also find Xur's long lost aunt. We close things out with a round table discussion about streaming services, The Great British Baking Show, Disney+, and Schitt's Creek. Now onward, to Star Trek: The Animated Series.

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Bonus Episode 85 - The Last Starfighter (Part 1)

Fri, 25 Mar 2022 13:56:19 GMT

For the last week of the Best of Warped, we present what happens when we watch something other than Star Trek. It’s our two part viewing of The Last Starfighter. Next week we will be back with new episodes.

This week the Warped crew celebrates Star Trek day by... (drum roll) not watching Star Trek! Join us, if you will, on a two-part journey of adolescent wish fulfillment as the Music Man tells us that we are very, very special. Normally, I would say that watching along with us at home is as completely unnecessary as the podcast itself. But you really should consider this a great excuse to check out The Last Starfighter again, or for the first time, if you've never supped from its polygonal delights. Watch along with us, because we are so clearly overwhelmed with nostalgia that we have no choice but to gush, with our geeky bits all engorged, about every little thing that's happening in the movie. Plus, bonus drinking game: if you take a drink every time Shawn makes a connection from this movie to Star Trek, you will be well and thoroughly sauced.

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Bonus Episode 92 - The Terratin Incident / The Time Trap

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 13:57:38 GMT

This is the answer to the question: Dis they really watch ALL Star Trek? Yes. Yes we did. Even the animated series. Which we were super excited for until we actually watched it. But aside from that, look for a new episode as we delve back into season 4 of TNG in a couple weeks. Again we want to thank you for hanging in there while we get our stuff together.

This week, Matt is humoring Minh so we don't have to talk about Howard Hughes, but hey, you know, sometimes a clock is wrong twice. We get into a game of "Which Star Trek Character Are You?" and discuss our love languages. We could use some help from our audience to decode some of these Cher tweets. One of the smaller music acts coming out of the 80's gets a boost from the Warped Crew. We lip jam some of our favorite TV show theme songs. Minh is "otterly" disturbed at the thought of being with a bear. Our apologies go out to the Foo Fighters for not loving them the way we should. Woodstock 99 has no avocado toast, so we're going to have to VH1 vanish ourselves the frak out of here. Send our regards to the glory hole!

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Bonus Episode 50 - The Immunity Syndrome

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 18:01:04 GMT

Apparently, Shawn had high hopes for a certain American football game that would not go the way he wanted, but if you are listening in 2022…you can pretend it did. Enjoy an early taste of Warped genius as we talk about everything but the episode of Star Trek we are watching.

The bloat factor is high on this week's Supersized 50th Episode of Warped. As the Warped Crew continues their tour of Star Trek's obsession with energized clouds, Matt kicks the episode into overdrive with a trademark non sequitur. Shawn and Philippe size each other up as hypothetical romantic partners. We all dive deep into our feelings about the works of author Stephen King and look back at those first books that sparked a passion for reading. Another note for our listeners: we recorded this episode before the "Big American Football Game," and it has not aged well since then. All this, plus our latest recommendations!

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Bonus Episode 24 - The Devil in the Dark

Fri, 04 Mar 2022 17:30:34 GMT

Going way back this week with our first "good one". Just an FYI new content coming soon. With the return of Star Trek:Picrad so is the return of Inside Picard....and new eps of Warped are on the horizon. We appreciate you hanging with us during this time and now enjoy "The Devil in the Dark" aka The One with Rock Monster. All together on the count of 3...1 2 3...PAIN!!!!!!!!

Matt gives us some insight into how he was an... interesting kid. Shawn tries to convince us that the Horta is just a guy crawling around in a costume, but we pay him no mind. We are all reminded that even acid-squirting rock monsters deserve to be loved.

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Bonus Episode 84 - Turnabout Intruder

Fri, 25 Feb 2022 17:30:26 GMT

It's the last episode of Original Series so you know we brought it. We experimented with a new format where we turned off the closed caption and tried to figure out what was going on. Enjoy

Tonight, on a very special episode of Warped, it's the FINAL EPISODE of Star Trek's Original Series. We're having technical difficulties, because of course we are, and we're just rolling with it. Science fiction's freakiest of Fridays has a guest actor driving a Ferrari on surface streets. In the land of the hotties, the uggo is King/Queen. We wish Screenie a fond farewell and celebrate it the best way we know how: inanimate object FMK. Philippe takes some parting shots at Maroon 5. Jake makes everyone feel bad about their musical theater knowledge in our new sing-along quiz. It wouldn't be a celebration if we didn't point out all our mistakes in Correction Corner. Included in our recommendations this week are Dead Authors, The Wire, Black Ocean, and Garfield. Take care of your slow lorises, good listeners.

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Bonus Episode 34 - Who Mourns for Adonais?

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 17:30:23 GMT

Relive one of our lost but not forgotten early bits. Interviews with Gene Roddenberry's ghost. I don't care what Matt says the episode is pronounced A-DO-NIGH, not A-DO-NIS just look at how it spelled. Whatever, enjoy this early "Good One".

The crew mutinies as they argue over how to pronounce the name of this episode. Gene Roddenberry makes his long awaited return to the show, both in voice and hand form. Stories from our hometowns shine a light on why we have so much room for self-improvement. Just like the female officers on Star Trek, we have to be reminded of our duty, lest we abandon our show for every distraction that comes along.

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Bonus Episode 81 - The Cloud Minders

Fri, 11 Feb 2022 17:30:33 GMT

We're starting to notice a trend with these Greatest Hits episodes, they all seem to contain one of our classic bits. Ever heard the word Droxine, then this is the episode for you. Please follow along as we watch an episode where someone tries to jump out of space down to a planet with any parachute. You know Classic Star Trek

Help us welcome our newest special guest, Arthur Q, Host of the Bible Curious podcast. In an act of humility, we give thanks to the hard work that goes into a good closed caption. Remembering friends from high school triggers a time warp that alters the very nature of reality and... ah, OK, our memories are just failing us. We pour one out for the voice of Minnie Mouse, do a little mansplaining to sustain our vitality, and desperately yearn for prescription medication to cure the envy we feel when watching drug commercials. While waiting for the second coming of Anakin Skywalker, we go pop culture hang gliding with LeBron James magic, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and the oeuvre of Brad Pitt. Warped is fast approaching its fourth year in production, and we look forward to getting our fourth review. All this, plus fan favorite Corrections Corner and Recommendations!

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Bonus Episode 100 - Star Trek: The Motion Picture (Part 1)

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 17:30:11 GMT

This week in honor of our continued weeks of Warped's Greatest Hits, we've got a double dose of Warped as we release parts 1 and 2 of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. We were super excited (mostly to be done with the Animated series, but that's a different story). This was a milestone as we hit episode 100 so to commemorate we play a little game called So You Think You Can Warped. We hope you enjoy this double dose of blast from the past.

Morale is high as the Warped crew shoves off on its 100th episode! Our journey through science fiction history takes a great leap forward with Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and we are so excited WE CAN'T STOP YELLING FOR SOME REASON!

Matt hits bullseyes all night, starting with Box Office Trivia, and cues up a chorus from his upgraded library of sounds. Our critical eyes are quickly drawn to beige uniforms, mystery belt buckles, and "VPL". Shawn shaves his head for science, but grows his hair back out in the interest of world peace. They put fasteners on the chairs, but Jake still isn't satisfied. We close the show with the most epic podcast retrospective trivia game ever conceived: Warped Trivia.

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Bonus Bonus Episode 101 - Star Trek: The Motion Picture (Part 2)

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 17:30:01 GMT

As promised, Part 2 of Star Trek: The Motion Picture

It's time to bust out the bottom shelf hooch, the Warped crew is back on the bridge. Can you please adjust your security uniform? We can tell you're curving to the left. Is it pronounced Veeger, Vuh-ger, or Vuh-ji-jer? Never mind; let's call the whole thing off. The number of thinly veiled references to human anatomy in this movie is just astounding. Captain Kirk comes up with a quick, functional ensemble for their new guest. Jake gives us a treat by playing some ominous tones. We resume the greatest podcast quiz of all time, look back on how it all started, revisit the moment we dumped our early episodes on an innocent, unsuspecting listening audience, and dive back into Erin's Warped origin story. Shawn closes things out by sharing his appreciation for our fans (his co-hosts, not so much). We love you! Onward to episode 200!

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Bonus Episode 65 - Is There in Truth No Beauty?

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 17:30:19 GMT

Week 3 of Warped's Greatest Hits. If you want to know why this show is like a snake eating its own tail, this is the episode for you. We have an epic "Corrections Corner" where we talk about tourselves and all the hilarious things we've said in the past. Trust me its funnier than it sounds.

Founding Crewmember Matt returns to add meaning to our lives with the REAL corrections that have been so sorely missed. We get called out on oopsies for films ranging from Ghost, to Batman Forever, to Lorenzo's Oil, and so much more. Erin puts some money on the ponies, but her Derby dreams get dashed. The whole crew does their best Wookiee impressions in honor of the legendary Peter Mayhew, and the less said about that, the better. Honestly, this episode can't really hold interest in the face of a fascinating franchise feast. So while the weight of a hefty dry cleaning bill slowly sinks Star Trek, we ask if velour truly is the fabric of the future. Join the debate, this week on Warped!

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Bonus Episode 82 - The Savage Curtain

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 17:30:58 GMT

It's week 2 of Warped's Greatest Hits. if you've ever heard us reference the Taco Bell in Paw Paw, MI this is the episode it all started. Once again we say "if you haven't heard it, its new to you" We will back soon with all new episodes but until then enjoy this flash from Original Series past.

Leave it to Abraham Lincoln to save us from our deadly cult obsession. Minh freaks the frack out and wreaks absolute havoc upon one of our favorite and time-honored segments. Where better to meet the spirit of Patrick Swayze than the limitless expanse of space? What the hell is going on at the Paw Paw Taco Bell?! Everyone who listens to Warped has a grapplin' partner in the Star Trek square dance. We get over our prejudice towards historical content just in time to appreciate Daniel Day-Lewis. And, as the ending of "The Original Season" draws near, we make sure to celebrate with what must be our geekiest game of FMK to date, possibly in the history of all mankind.

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Bonus Episode 68 - For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky

Fri, 14 Jan 2022 17:30:10 GMT

Bonus Episode

Today we start a new series called Warped Greatest Hits

Our fearless host Matt @hostwarped has curated a list of great episodes to introduce the show. The eps will be hitting your feed once a week for the next ten weeks so keep an eye out. To paraphrase the NBC summer reruns promos from the 90's "If you haven't heard it, its new to you"

This week, we're staying true to our roots and kicking things off with a Theatre Warm-up. The crew explains why McCoy never thinks back on the love of his life. We then proceed to mix up some actresses, probably because our eyes are fifty wide shades of shut. We finally figure out who won the large American football sports championship. Minh digs up one of Matt's painful trivia-related memories. We get some wisdom from Douglas Adams and shamelessly cheat when choosing our own adventure. And finally, Matt delivers the finishing blow on this episode by running a correction on his night moves.

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Episode 204 - F@#$ We Got to Use Skype

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 17:30:38 GMT

Episode 204 - First Contact

As the title of the episode tells you we had tp go back to Skype, so.....We're Sorry? Whatever we still bring the funny. Like what are Kirk's buttons actually labled, Why would Shawn buy the Pac-Man Fever album and Why was Dragon's Lair so damn hard. On the Star Trek front: Riker bones his way out of trouble again and we preview next weeks episode. We hope you enjoy.

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The Real LARPwives of Enterprise-D

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 17:30:59 GMT

Episode 203 - Clues

Is Clues the sequel to Clue? It's not, but maybe it should be? The crew is enjoying some downtime this week, which means everything from Klingon Tai chi to "fun" on the holodeck. Meanwhile in the Warped studio, it's our New Year's Eve episode so we're having fun too! (If by fun you mean getting drunk on Champagne.)

Anyway! Spirits are high as Erin takes on a new task and realizes she was always too strong for the nerds. Mini Minh returns to ask for porridge and introduce the Florida Man game to us all. Matt talks up Last Action Hero which leads the gang into some serious 90s movie love (what do Contact, Repossessed, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all have in common? Nothing but this podcast.) Phillipe wonders how many "techniques" Data knows, and we all marvel at the hairspray of the future, while Minh asks how fast beards grow. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

If you'd like to sync this episode up with your own New Year's Eve countdown (and why wouldn't you?) grab some champagne and someone to kiss and start the pod at 11:08:35pm on 12/31! Come on, you know you want to. And if you fall asleep and wake up later and we tell you only 30 seconds have passed, just roll with it. We know what we're doing.

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But Then There Was A Problem

Fri, 24 Dec 2021 17:30:00 GMT

Episode 202 - Devil's Due

"What is it, what's happening?"

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas everybody! It's a Wonderfully Warped Happy Holidaze Full of Christmas Cheer Episode. We've been having a lot of special episodes recently, and the special isn't stopping anytime soon.

This episode, you won't believe the guests we've managed to land. Santa Claus, Parishioner Philippe and Little Minnie Winnie help spread this season's cheer with characteristic aplomb.

Unfortunately, not all is right in the land of Warped this Christmas Eve. The cracks start to show when the topic of tea is raised (black or cream and sugar?), and our space sleigh really goes off the side of the space mountain once we get into Corrections Corner. Watch those corners!

Needless to say, all people, regardless of nationality and whatever "Beautiful People" the world over may say, are worthy of love. Even us! So have a happy holiday season and lets get Warped.

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Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 17:30:00 GMT

After our banger of a 200th Episode Anniversary Celebration!!!, we're back with our 201st Episode Afterparty. Just like Miles + Keiko after their wedding, everyone's mellower and all the magic is gone basically.

We continue to mop up the floor with reject questions from last episode's Ginormous Ultra Super Spectacular 200th Episode QuizQuiz. Aside from a few softball gimme's that Shawn lobs to Erin, we are unsurprisingly unknowledgeable about the things that we ourselves have said before.

Let that be a lesson to all, that just because you're married doesn't mean you gotta like the meatloaf. Whatever! We'll see you in another 200.

xoxo,

Warped

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Warped's Ginormous Ultra Super Spectacular Spectacular 200th Episode Extravaganza

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 17:30:23 GMT

Ep. 200 Data's Day

We made it. 200th EPISODE!!! We're not sure why they let us do it but now they can't stop us. Listen as we learn about Enterprise janitors and their personal logs. Is Picard and old dad that turns off the lights. We also play our second try at How much do you Warped? Please enjoy

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I'm Just Going to Cut It At Goodbye, Fart Sound

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 17:30:00 GMT

Erin leads us delightfully on another special episode of Warped, where we anticipate with excitement the upcoming 200th episode of our podcast. We can't believe it either!

For our 199th episode (also very special), we join our favorite counselor, Guinan, as she helps poor Deanna Troi get her groove back. We gaze in awe while Guinan works her special kind of magic, and then when Riker comes in to help his special lady, we applaud the beautiful and healthy relationship that they've developed. These are the things that make Star Trek great.

In a surprising twist, our normally sweet Minh takes on the mantle of a misogynist and overall dunderhead, perhaps in sympathy to Troi's own loss of empathic ability. He does not spark joy though. To help, the Warped crew happily make vicious mockery of his idiocy, as all close-knit friends should do for one another.

At the end of it all, Matt readies his fart gun to get us on to 200! Thank you dear listener, for cruising along with us all these many captain's logs.

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Boozie Gotta Booze

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 17:30:31 GMT

Episode 198 - Final Mission

We gone done it again. We hit the bottle of dreski hard and it's got us tipsy and tankered. But whatever man, that dreski is medicinal, alright? Besides, it's our Thanksgiving episode. So Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! And boy are there some real doozies in this one.

This episode's alien designers have us agape with wonderment at the xenomorphology on display. Really, it's pretty wild. Perhaps it's proof that Star Trek's gods *do* play dice, and this time they rolled straight up crit fails. Or maybe we're just being species-ist. After all, one alien's triple mouth holes is just another alien's fun pokey pocket. So say we all.

Captain Picard spends some quality time with Wesley Crusher before the hapless ensign is shipped off to some unwritten pocket of the universe, hardly to be heard from again. Come say your sweet goodbyes with us while we sit on the shoulder of our favorite captain, giving you the skinny on what he's really thinking about Wesley.

By the end of it all, we'll all feel like a too casually installed shuttle craft door, barely hanging on by our hinges. But man will it have been a fun ride. In space, we don't need a perfect fit.. we just need another swig of that sweet medicinal.

Cause boozie gotta booze!

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Episode 197 - Mount Your Partner

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 17:30:45 GMT

Episode 197 Future Imperfect

Welcome back to Warped where we got way too deep into Minwin's bag of goodies. Even if we only talk about it a little we did really like this episode, as it has one of favorite tropes...Crewman have children they never mention again. This week Riker has a kid! But instead of talking about the episode we'd rather talk about: The long forgotten horny HBO sitcom Dream On, Why the city of Carson smells and Why Erin threw a vacuum across the room. Oh and we also bring back some classic Warped bits. You know how we are known for our bits right.

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Episode 196 - He Can Probably See His Own Ears

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 17:30:46 GMT

Episode 196 - Reunion

This weeks Warped can best be described by Matt when talking about champagne. "Drinking champagne is fun until it's not." We're all a little giddy from the bubbly in the air the smoke in our lungs and the gummies in Matt's tummy. Shawn tries to express how much he loves this episode but the crew would rather talk about...CHAIRS. THE CHAIR IS BACK. We also are reunited with "The Worf's Lady" and we meet Gowron which causes Felipe to title this episode. Reunion effing rules so go watch that... after you listen to this.

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The Second Gummy Was Definitely A Mistake

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 16:30:46 GMT

Episode 195 - Legacy

This Week On Warped:

* Wil Meets Bill

* Bill Meets Space

* Mullets Meet The Future

* Justice Meets Jacuzzis

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The Lady Vanishes (Actually All Her Friends Vanish)

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 16:30:58 GMT

Episode 194 - Remember Me

It's a spooky (or is it Spocky?) Halloween mystery on this week's TNG, but the real mystery is why doesn't Beverly get more episodes like this? She's so good in this one, you guys! So good, in fact, that Matt can't shut up about how much he loves this episode. (It's honestly a little much.) But still, as always, there are questions. Does it count as a "Wesley saves the ship" episode if he also causes the problem? Do they have a Checklist of Weird Shit they go through before they assume someone is losing their mind? What are the ethical implications of Deanna being both therapist and friend? And that Traveler sure is creepy, right? Run, Wesley!

Lest you think we spent the whole ep talking about Star Trek, fear not! Phillipe drops a Music Man reference! Shawn gets E.T.'s fingers wrong! Minh can't stop thinking about sex furniture! The gang geeks out over Poltergeist! All that and a rousing game of Who's Your Favorite Billionaire! Happy Halloween, everyone!

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Here Comes Some Unfunny Comedy

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 16:30:39 GMT

Episode 193 - Suddenly Human

In a rare turn of events, we actually spend quite a bit of time talking about Star Trek this week! Topics include: Livingston the Starfleet Fish! The rules of Space Racquetball! Chad Allen and TV's Blonds Of The Late 80s! Squid Game! Will Wheaton getting ice cream thrown in his face by an angry teamster! What is the appropriate amount of Paul Reiser exposure? Squid Game again! The value of Radio Shack's customer database! Okay, so maybe these aren't ALL Star Trek related.

Plus: Jake voices an opinion, Erin hears the word Chakotay for the first time, and everyone's thrilled about the Triumphant Return of CONNECT EM ALL UP! (Because the fans demanded it.) All this and more on this week's Warped!

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Amateur Night at the Chuckle Hut

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 16:30:44 GMT

Episode 192 - Brothers

Let's be honest: they can't all be winners. Brent Spiner talks to himself for about 45 minutes this week, leaving the Warped gang confused, unhappy, and hungry for nachos. A boy eats deadly fruit, raising questions about the professionalism of Starfleet's arborists. Data malfunctions (again), raising questions about whether he even belongs on the bridge. Beverly tells a joke, raising questions about her bedside manner. It's so boring the gang starts talking about what happened on LAST week's episode! Remember Worf's chair? We sure do!

Topics include: We Are The World! The accuracy of the Flintstones! Behind the curtain with our listener numbers! And finally, drum roll drum roll drum roll.... Old Clothes! Yes. Really.

All this plus a shoutout to our newest Patron, this week on Warped!

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Smokutus, or 4 of 20

Fri, 08 Oct 2021 16:30:09 GMT

Episode 191 - Family

Everyone's feeling a little off their game this week, which isn't helped when Erin throws us for a loop with an unconventional intro. But we quickly jump back on track as the family drama grabs our attention. This is a great episode of Star Trek and we're all super impressed by it, but sadly that doesn't stop us from talking about a bunch of random nonsense, as usual.

Topics include: what's our sexiest planet? Is William McKinley overrepresented in the naming of America's junior high schools? What sound do you make when you eat Rokeg Blood Pie? If there's no money in the Federation, how does owning a giant winery work? Is day drinking okay as long as you wait until noon? Is doing a bunch of drugs in Amsterdam similar to being assimilated? And most important of all, WHAT IS WORF SITTING IN???

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Cliffhangers In Those Days! (If you know what I mean)

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 17:15:52 GMT

Episode 190 - The Best of Both Worlds Part II

Whooopieeee!!!! Welcome back, to a new season of Star Trek: TNG. Our Whoop Watch is goin' off and we're here for all of it.

It's also the nerd history-making second parter to the Picard/Locutie storyline, which is setting off all sorts of nostalgia waves for the Warped crew. Ride or die along with us, while we reminisce about not just the feels of watching this episode again, but also old school periodicals (TV Guide, yeah!), vee-cee-arrrr's and tape machines.

What a bunch of dinosaurs!

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This Is Too Much You Guys

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 16:30:48 GMT

Episode 189 - Zardoz (Part 2)

Flush with excitement after being exposed to the first half of John Boorman's almost too bonkers to believe it existed sci-fi extravaganza, Zardoz, the Warped crew is primed and pumped for Part 2!

We were so primed. So pumped! I mean, in the second half we learn that Sean Connery's sweat has magic fuck powers. Cool! There are more tenacious tatas to be titillated by. Alrighty man. Matt even senses that Zardoz is a "personal story" being told with great conviction. And yet... and yet... the sighing and gnashing of our teeth aren't of the good kind.

It's as if the magic of last night's debauchery and hedonism have worn off. Now we awaken next to the far too sweaty body of this heaving mass of meat and throbbing man-flesh that is Zardoz. What have we done?! What happened? Where is our underwear? Why are we so old now? Far too many questions. No real desire for answers.

Zardoz, it's certainly an experience. We're so thankful we had each other during this time.

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Gun Is Good! Penis Is Evil! Movie Is Bad!

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 16:30:05 GMT

Episode 188 - Zardoz (Part 1)

It's our season break movie watch and, because Erin insisted on it and we always do what she says, we're watching Zardoz! Marvel at Sean Connery being styled to look like Burt Reynolds! Delight in 70s boobs and animated erections! Gasp in astonishment as Shawn guesses the secret of Zardoz 10 minutes into the movie! Tremble in fear as Matt repeatedly says bandolero when he means bandolier! Gaze in awe at a sharpie goatee!

All that and so, so much more! Seriously, what a crazy movie. If you know, you know. We're still recovering and this is only part one.

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Would You Buy A Pontiac From This Man?

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 16:30:20 GMT

Episode 187 - The Best of Both Worlds

Sooooo, great episode? Or GREATEST EPISODE EVER? It's hard to decide, because this one has it all! Riker's Career Conflicts! The Guy Who Played God Or Whatever In Star Trek V! The Chin Of Dennehy!

Erin and Phillipe are full of opinions this week, which is what happens when they watch the episode before we record. For example, is the Borg ship a bad design? And do the characters really care when red shirts die? Does Geordi have a Mourning Visor? And who's responsible for changing the shell in Jean-Luc's ready room?

Meanwhile, the rest of us remember that Hedy Lamarr invented SOMETHING, but what??? The mysterious connection between Twains both Mark and Shania is explored. And everyone loves Olympic rock climbing! All this and more on a blockbuster episode of Warped!

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Everything's Coming Up Geordi

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 16:30:16 GMT

Episode 186 - Transfigurations

Shawn isn't quite able to nail our intro, but we've been summer vacationing for the last few weeks. So whaddya-gunna-do? Even Captain Picard got his time off on Risa!

Happily this week, Geordi *is* able to nail it! After being touched by the healing spirit of Dr. Crusher's newfound (and very short-lived) love interest, Geordi discovers a confidence and swagger that we sadly won't see much of in later episodes. But we all know LeVar Burton can get some.

After that, Crusher's crush goes on to touch many other people on the crew. This is the start of much awkwardness, as we find ourselves simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by the preponderance of male camel-toe. We blame Dr. Crusher for his off-puttingly distracting space attire.

But hey, that's love. Whaddya-gunna-do?

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It's The Best Oo-mox I've Ever Had

Fri, 27 Aug 2021 16:30:58 GMT

Episode 185 - Ménage à Troi

"Sexy fun times ahead.. with a title like that, it's gotta be good!"

It's a hot, horny, and hilarious episode this week as we gawp at the problematic Star Trek Season 3 episode known as "Ménage à Troi". The themes certainly fuel conversation, from Ferengi sexual proclivities (that'll be a no on oral), to Riker and Troi's open relationship (friends can kiss each other full on the mouth), to wondering about the Warped crew podcasting together naked (hey-ohhh!). We discover Minh is pulling in some big numbers—the safe word is "I'm tired." And as always, consent is necessary.

In the end, we bond over the fact that we wouldn't all be here together if we hadn't somehow collided in our collective orbits back in college. What a universe!

It certainly *is* the best oo-mox I've ever had!

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To Us It's a Slime Pit, But To Them It's Home

Fri, 20 Aug 2021 15:17:16 GMT

Episode 184 - Sarek

Spock's well-sculptured father, Sarek, visits the starship Enterprise to broker a peace treaty with the disco slime Legarans in what may be his very last diplomatic mission. But what the crew of the Enterprise don't realise is that Sarek has come down with a wicked case of the Bendii's (crickey!) and all hell is about to break loose. Thankfully the Warped crew is well-versed in the sins of Hell and it's a rockin' good time as Captain Jean-Luc Picard gets to shake his well-honed and finely muscled theatrical spear. He swallows solar systems whole and shows his crew what it takes to pull in the big bucks. Just be sure not to turn the lights on at the end of our "therapy" session.

Happy 100th, Gene!

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Anything Can Be A Sex Couch If You Try Hard Enough

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 16:30:43 GMT

Episode 183 - The Most Toys

What's the difference between a hoarder and a collector? Is it just taste? And did Data shoot that guy or what? Opinions differ on this week's episode, but we all agree that Data looks great in lavender. Alien makeup preferences are explored, and Minh takes a bold stance. We question the comfort of beds in the future (square pillows?) but the couches are definitely down to Pon Farr. Meanwhile, Matt describes his favorite fan-Trek video (watch it here, it's hilarious: https://youtu.be/YoZ4dK7JKNg), Phillipe has his trypophobia triggered, and Corrections Corner is brought to you by Goldschlager and Skrewball!

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This Should Be Called "Your Boss Finds Your Browser History"

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 16:30:15 GMT

Episode 182 - Hollow Pursuits

It's New Faces Week on Warped as the Enterprise welcomes a new crew member and the podcast welcomes a new guest! Kate joins the gang in-studio to discuss the debut of Lieutenant Barclay and the ethics of Holodeck sexy fun times, in an episode that raises all kinds of interesting questions. For example, is anyone in Starfleet a good manager? And has Troi ever even met - much less helped - anyone like Barclay before? Meanwhile, Guinan's #1 Fan Erin has some thoughts about Whoopi's Wobbly Hat, while Phillipe wants to know why you can't Alt-Tab the Holodeck. And we wrap it all up by wondering what happened to brand names in the future. Welcome aboard the U.S.S. Qualcomm, everyone!

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Voltron Is Like An Orgy

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 16:30:12 GMT

Things get therapeutic this week, as Phillipe reveals why this was his favorite episode of TNG as a lonely kid dreaming of being part of something bigger. Thinking about being part of something bigger naturally leads to an extended digression about Voltron, Jetfire, and the fictional vehicles of our youth. The nostalgia vibes are strong as we remember Knight Rider, Airwolf, The A-Team (apologies in advance for the bad Mr. T impressions), and...The Love Bug?

Meanwhile, Matt gets a factoid about Betazoid eyes wrong (we eagerly await your outraged tweets!), Phillipe and Matt geek out about old Starlogs, Shawn reviews a live Beach Boys concert, and Minh nearly derails the show describing something called Downtown Abbey.

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Episode 180 - Captain's Holiday

Fri, 23 Jul 2021 16:30:31 GMT

Maybe it's because this is our first episode recorded in person back in the studio together, fully vaxed and fully waxed! Maybe it's because Jean-Luc gets to visit Risa! Maybe it's the White Russians and the Margaritas! Whatever the reason, this is a very energetic, and very HORNY conversation! I mean, we all know what happens on Risa stays on Risa, but what happens back on the Enterprise? When Jean-Luc's away, the Riker will play! Minh wonders if Data is a sex robot, Erin admires Jean-Luc's short shorts, Matt reminds us that Riker loves a pleasure planet, and we all cannot stop talking about the insane leisure wear of the future. It's Horga'hns and Pon Farrs and Jamaharons (oh my!) on a Very Listener-Discretion Advised edition of Warped!

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Episode 179 - Allegiance

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 16:30:07 GMT

Trust. Who has it? Who wants it? And what's it worth to you anyway? These are the tough questions Star Trek tackles this week, while we goof off instead of paying attention!

* Minh stumps Shawn in a round of "What Show Is Minh Talking About?" (See if you can guess! I put the answer at the end of the show notes.)

* A Bolian, a Fangtooth, and the Sydney Opera House walk into a bar, and we FMK them, which gets weirdly contentious.

* Erin teaches us a valuable lesson about hiding dead bodies (hint: don't tell the police where they CAN'T look)!

* Fake Picard and Beverly kiss(!) which gives us all Last Starfighter vibes, and raises the question of how do you know your Picard is fake?

* Minh tries to avoid playing Shove It In Minh's Mouthhole by changing the subject to possums, which of course works.

* Matt makes an embarrassing ukulele confession.

* And finally, we introduce a new, soon-to-be regular segment, Marathon Talk!

(SPOILER FOR WHAT SHOW IS MINH TALKING ABOUT: The show Minh is talking about is Dollhouse.)

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Episode 178 - Sins of the Father

Fri, 09 Jul 2021 16:30:14 GMT

It's a matter of honor (but not "A Matter of Honor" that's episode 143) this week as we begin our deep dive into the murky waters of Klingon politics. Minh kicks things off with a Klingons/Cling-Wrap joke and frankly things don't get any better from there. Worf and Kurn inspire the gang to share their stories of brothers fighting, except for lonely child Matt, who can't relate. Erin has to choose her ride or die cha'DIches. Over in Correction Corner, we ponder how many people can fit inside Jabba the Hutt. And Jake may not remember Numberwang, but he'll tell you all you need to know about siphonophores!

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Episode 177 - The Offspring

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 16:30:34 GMT

We're keepin' em separated (90s kids will get this reference), as Erin does a new version of the show intro, throwing the rest of the Gang into disarray. Data gets a daughter this week, but in classic TNG fashion, she doesn't stick around. (Remember Deanna's space baby? Deanna doesn't.) We take a peek behind the curtain into the Warped editing process, which frankly probably should have been cut. Meanwhile, Erin remembers taking wood shop at...some point in her schooling? Shawn takes a deep dive into the Frakes Filmography. Matt shouts out his favorite Star Trek Twitter parody accounts (what's up @RikerGoogling and @EnterpriseCPU)! We explore the relative sexiness of Jean-Luc Picard, Patrick Stewart, and Gay Patrick Stewart. And finally, just to tie a bow on the whole thing, we screw up the outro just as bad as we did the intro. Progress!

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Episode 176 - Yesterday's Enterprise

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 16:30:54 GMT

Great episode, or THE GREATEST EPISODE?!?! We're getting high on our own supply and remembering how much we love Star Trek on this week's episode. Erin gives us a new catchphrase - "Let's get Warped!" - and another variation on the show intro. Shawn and Matt geek out over the changes to the ship and crew in the alternate timeline (I love typing the words "alternate timeline"). For some reason an in-depth conversation about Grease 2 breaks out, threatening to destroy our jolly mood, until we join back together in celebration of how good Guinan and Tasha are together. And we all agree that Star Trek fans are the best!

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Episode 175 - A Matter of Perspective

Fri, 18 Jun 2021 16:30:03 GMT

Is Riker a Sex Creep? Or does every woman in the world want him? It's all just a matter of perspective on this week's episode! (See what I did there?) It's Space Rashomon as the gang tries to figure out who killed Hector Salamanca, and all they know is it wasn't Gus Fring. That was for all the Breaking Bad fans out there.

Meanwhile, Matt praises Ghost of Tsushima! Shawn stands up for Ace Ventura! And we all marvel at The Many Hobbies of Jean-Luc Picard, which leads to a very serious question: why isn't there TV in the future???

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Episode 174 - Deja Q

Fri, 11 Jun 2021 16:30:31 GMT

Tensions are running high among the Warped crew, and Erin's mind is blown when all her illusions regarding sour cream distribution methods at fast food Mexican restaurants are exposed. We get some Q side-butt in this episode (Happy Pride, everyone!) but a debate about whether Q or Guinan would be more fun to hang out with turns ugly. Minh and Erin have some problems with butt-faced aliens, forcing us all to realize what bad diplomats we'd make. All this plus: Paddington 2! Hot tubs! And LeVar Burton, Jeopardy host!

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Episode 173 - The High Ground

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 16:30:04 GMT

Star Trek gets political and gives us a SPACE version of The Troubles on this week's episode. Everyone's happy that Beverly gets a lot to do this time, but that's not enough to keep us from going off on some tangents. (Nothing is able to keep us from going off on tangents!) We reminisce about that weird phase in the 90s when we all listened to swing music and dressed like hepcats, the Real Housewives are mentioned (but no one gets the reference) and Matt and Shawn have fond memories of both SeaQuest DSV and Steven Spielberg's DIVE (the restaurant that dared to ask: who doesn't want to eat inside a submarine?)

Meanwhile in Corrections Corner we've got 70s T&A movies, the origins of finger cuffs, and a comparison of management styles between Jean-Luc Picard and Attila the Hun. Yeah, you heard me.

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Episode 172 - The Hunted

Fri, 28 May 2021 16:30:51 GMT

I don't like to name names, but someone on the Warped crew is having some serious pon farr this week, resulting in one of our horniest episodes ever. Topics include:

* Is Riker a responsible lover?

* We know Data is fully functional, but what does that MEAN, exactly?

* What's the deal with birth control in the future?

* How raunchy can we make the words "Jeffries Tube" sound?

* And what happens when FMK goes horribly wrong?

Consider yourselves warned!

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Episode 171 - The Defector

Fri, 21 May 2021 16:30:18 GMT

Phillipe makes a triumphant return to the pod, resulting in an extra-full, bordering on overstuffed, episode. We've got Shakespeare! We've got Klingon Opera! We've got rats AND canaries! Erin's on fire this week, tricking us into mansplaining what a nacelle is (Secret Romulan!) and extolling the virtues of Brewer's Yeast. Matt reveals yet another sex dream about someone on the Warped crew, then wonders why no one else remembers Gunther Gebel-Williams. Jake comes in hot with a perfect Two Reals & A Fake, and Shawn isn't sure how he feels about being the Fozzie of the group.

All this plus: Are shorter people better for the world? Phillipe learns a new word! And we all enjoy rousing rounds of "Guess Who Minh's Talking About" and "Connect 'Em All Up!" (Both trademarked bits of Warped LLC.)

NOTE: In this episode we talk about Norman Lloyd being one of the oldest still-living movie stars. Since we recorded this, Norman Lloyd died at the amazing age of 106. RIP, and everyone should go watch Saboteur, he's great in it.

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Episode 170 - The Vengeance Factor

Fri, 14 May 2021 16:30:14 GMT

(NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: Hey, shouldn't this be episode 168??? Yes. Yes it should. But, as it must with all things, death has come to episodes 168 and 169. (Translation: we screwed up and the recordings were lost.) Will we go back and someday rerecord 168 and 169? Maybe. Maybe we will. And now back to your regularly scheduled show notes.)

Not everyone is doing their best on this week's episode. Minh spends an alarming amount of time discussing his (and others) hairy Asian chest(s) before shifting into one of his many horrifying Burning Man Stories. Erin can't wait to watch Zardoz and has a hard time explaining the 80s to her kids. We play FMK and other bits stolen from better podcasts. And finally, May thinks she's watching Star Wars. Frankly, it's a lot.

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Episode 167 - Booby Trap

Fri, 07 May 2021 16:30:43 GMT

Nothing creepy about this one, no sir! Nothing at all! Geordi acts like a perfectly normal non-creeper in this one we swear!

Okay, so MAYBE Geordi creates a sex hologram who tells him that every time he touches the ship he's touching her. Maybe that happens. But it's FINE you guys. Dragons gonna Drag, you know?

Meanwhile, Erin wants to visit the Senor Frog's on Aurelius Icks, Matt admires the many hobbies of Jean-Luc Picard, Shawn wonders how many times we can say the word booby in one episode (spoiler: it's a lot), and Engineer Jake doesn't get invited to the margarita party.

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Episode 166 - The Bonding

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 16:30:49 GMT

Star Trek explores some alternative takes on parenting this week. Can an energized cloud raise a 10-year-old boy? Picard doesn't seem to care, but luckily Troi is there to talk some sense.

Meanwhile, Minh makes his triumphant return to the podcast and can't get over how good the show looks these days, Matt is bored, Patches the cat livens things up, and we explore whether space is filled with giant balls of poop. All this plus Which Character On TNG Gives The Best Hugs: An Investigation.

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Episode 165 - Who Watches the Watchers

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 16:30:37 GMT

It's weird watching Ray Wise play a benign alien rather than a possessed serial killer, but we're trying to make the best of it on this week's episode! Erin wonders if David Lynch confused Ray Wise for Harry Hamlin, while Matt and Shawn award retroactive Oscars to Twin Peaks and Gremlins 2. (Can 30 year old TV shows win Oscars? They can in our world!) Shawn fondly remembers the old Universal Studios Star Trek show, but Matt's still bitter he never got picked. He was an adorable child! Really!

Speaking of kids, Recommendation Corner finds us reminiscing about our favorite children's movies: The Muppet Movie, The Little Mermaid, and The Wizard of Oz.

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Episode 164 - The Survivors

Fri, 16 Apr 2021 16:30:19 GMT

You know things are bad when Worf drinking tea with his pinky out and saying "Good tea, nice house" is the most famous thing to happen in this episode. But we make our own fun around here!

Matt introduces a new segment called What's Marina Tweeting?, Erin wonders about the worst song to get stuck in your head, and we all decide we're pro-aquarium, even if it means dentists charge too much.

Plus: Is Deanna the only counselor in Starfleet? Would you pay to see a (real, we swear!) Klingon opera? And, right at the end, another new segment, Soap Opera Chat!

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Episode 163 - The Ensigns of Command

Fri, 09 Apr 2021 16:30:39 GMT

It's a real iconoBLAST on this week's episode as we dig deep into the... let's say complicated love life of everyone's favorite android! Minh wonders if Data's got groove, Jake can't figure out how he gets more action than Geordi, and we all speculate on what he tastes like. (Plastic? Metal? A warm summer day?)

Meanwhile in Correction Corner, we dig deep into the troubled family life of Bing Crosby, explore tea culture in the UK, marvel at the friendship between Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen (they really like each other!) and, as always, we talk about Alf.

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Episode 162 - Evolution

Fri, 02 Apr 2021 16:30:02 GMT

This week the gang has mixed emotions as we say goodbye to Dr. Pulaski and welcome back our dear Dr. Crusher. Beverly's concerned because Wes doesn't seem to know any kids his own age, and all his acquaintances are either middle-aged men or robots. But Wesley doesn't care! Like most teenage boys he can make his own friends, if by friends you mean sentient nanobots who threaten the lives of everyone on the ship.

We must have found this episode kind of boring to watch, because we spend most of our time talking around the margins. Matt wonders if Guinan dissolves into sparkles when no one's around, Shawn notices that high definition is not kind to 1980's makeup styles, and there's a lot of talk about wigs and uniforms. They can't all be winners, folks!

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Episode 161 - Dune (Part 2)

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 16:30:11 GMT

"I'm having a hard time in my head picturing what these episodes are going to sound like." - Matt, 1/24/21

Prophetic words, my friends! Words of DUNE! Has Matt drunk from the Water of Life, or is he just drunk?

The menagerie has taken over the zoo this week as we wrap up our watchthrough of DUNE. Shawn knows what the fox says, Minh admits he cannot conquer the worm, Erin loves even the most hairless of cats, and we're all happy the dog survives the movie. (Spoiler.)

All this plus Roller Coaster Chat and Theme Park Memories, this week on Warped!

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Episode 160 - Dune (Part 1)

Fri, 19 Mar 2021 16:30:08 GMT

This week we abandon our beloved utopian Starfleet for the wild, weird world of Arrakis! That's right, we're watching David Lynch's least favorite movie of all time, DUNE! And I'm not gonna lie, we're all over the place this week. Minh asks the eternal question: did Michael Jackson SING about the Elephant Man, or BUY HIM? May compares Duke Leto to the Duke from Bridgerton, Shawn wonders if Dune inspired Tremors, and we all speculate about Bear Grylls favorite beverage. (Spoiler: It ain't water.) Legit question: If this movie is so boring, why does Matt want a FOUR HOUR version? Brace yourselves, kids, this one's rough.

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Episode 159 - Shades Of Gray

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 17:30:26 GMT

Come with us as Warped delves into the season 2 finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and finds a relic of TV's past... The Clip Show!!!! While enjoying the clips for reference Erin also marvels at the wonder that is bearded Jonathan Frakes. We decide that more fun than a Jack Ryan prequel would be a Jake Ryan prequel. Speaking of guys who could get it, Commander Riker goes through ghosts of boners past and we discuss the petri dish that is a Starship. Finally we wonder if doing it on the beach is worth it (its not) and what's the best James Bond theme (its Live and Let Die). All this and so much more on this week's Warped.

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Episode 158 - Peak Performance

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 17:30:31 GMT

On this week's Warped we get into Riker Swagger and why does Star Trek keep proving to us it's in the future. Matt tries to gaslight Shawn about the Golden Girls spin-off with Cheech and we all wonder at the beauty that is Bea Arthur in the Star Wars Holiday Special. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the podcast all of Picard's fish are gone and Jake thinks they may have been Muldaur'd. Minwin's pon farr acts up and all of us are the worse for it as we explore how Star Trek slash fic and Taco Bell are the same. Finally RIP David L Lander, hopefully you and Laverne are having a raucous sexual relationship in heaven and if anybody would like to write that slash fic I know a horny little Vulcan that is ready to Squiggy his bathroom mirror.

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Episode 157 - The Emissary

Fri, 26 Feb 2021 17:00:00 GMT

Welcome to our "Vavavavooom!" episode. "This one's got steam heat coming off it."

In a future Star Trek post-scarcity future, what exactly are the stakes in a poker game? Friendship.. cigarettes... bragging rights? Our dear captain-leader Matt settles on the most plausible answer.. they're playing for holodeck hours. Of course.

Minh has immigration stories. We take a huge tour through Recommendations Corner and find out Erin loves that Dirty Dancin', Shawn's got a tromboner for High School Musical, and Ang Lee got sway. There's love all around for Worf's baby mama and we're glad that Worf eventually learns to let go of the kling-y part of his hookups.

We'll leave you with this.. "That's too much woman for you, Minh. You can't ride that coaster."

"Hachachaaa!"

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Episode 156 - Manhunt

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 17:00:26 GMT

Betazoid pon farr, fish people, voyeuristic pets, a bad MLK analogy, self-loathing, "Now my finger smells like Tiberius". This episode's got some takes, and only half of them come from Warped crew member Minh. He regrets so much! But Erin comes in like White Gandalf on Shadowfax to restore some semblance of right to the world.

Meanwhile, look forward to Warped's new line of signature fragrances and body odours, coming to you sometime in the near/far future. This episode's scent pairing ("Stardate") is dedicated to Minh himself.

"Stardate. Skillful and mysterious like 007 James Bond if he chose an eternal, unrequited Pon Farr. Apply to the bare midriff that doesn't change when you sit down (humble brag!). Pairs well with White Russians. Warning: opossums are attracted to this fragrance."

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Episode 153 - Up The Long Ladder

Fri, 29 Jan 2021 17:30:32 GMT

In this weeks episode we go old school. Star Trek gets back to its Irish hating roots and all feels right with the world. Unfortunately they didn't remember to also bring with them the most important character from the original show...SCREENIE!!!!!!!! Oh well we should all have a drink but oh right no bars, remember bars guys. Matt and Jake both introduce their newest character impressions and we go Warped old school with a CORRECTIONS CORNER

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Episode 152 - Samaritan Snare

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 17:30:20 GMT

For the first time in forever Minh introduces a new character to Warped. We discuss the ease of flying in space and the etiquette regarding food replicators vis-a-vis sandwiches. Matt is made furious by some disturbing Jeopardy news (no its not that news). Finally is Minh the true life story behind the movie Big. Find out on this weeks episode of Warped.

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Episode 151 - Q Who

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 17:00:49 GMT

We're flipping the script again, as Erin kicks off a very special episode of Warped. It's our first encounter with the Borg, and May's first encounter with the Q Continuum.

A special guest star gives us the opportunity to lightly graze a three-breasted treasure of science fiction cinema. It should be no surprise by now that Guinan steals the show for us whenever she gets involved. Despite the format of our show, we still think it's appropriate to observe in silent respect the stellar performance of Whoopi Goldberg, and in the meantime our strengthening fan powers lead us to theorize that Geordi is constantly bugging Deanna about his bad luck with women.

From The Smashing Pumpkins to Hanson, we talk about our favorite bands growing up, and the newer acts that we have definitely heard about from somewhere. After an enthusiastic celebration of Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine, we cool down with a few rounds of Roman Mouthwash.

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Episode 150 - Pen Pals

Fri, 08 Jan 2021 17:30:08 GMT

We're all over the place on this one, you guys. Erin comes in hard with the scorching hot takes like: Does Picard love horses TOO much? And do ugly little girls even DESERVE saving? Meanwhile, Matt explains the prime directive, May orders chili-cheese fries, and we all talk about what's on our Christmas trees. (We recorded this a while ago.) We may admire Picard's management style, but let's face it, Riker's the cool uncle you'd rather hang out with.

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Episode 149 - The Icarus Factor

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 17:30:09 GMT

New York's hottest club is The Icarus Factor! It has everything: Slap fights, sperm speed, daddy issues, and Gremlins! Happy New Year, everyone!

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Episode 148 - Time Squared

Fri, 25 Dec 2020 17:30:42 GMT

Merry Christmas dear listeners! This holiday season, cozy up with Warped Host Matt's revolutionary cooking technique for eggs. It will change your life and give you a new appreciation for eggs. Minh swears by it!

At some point we realize that the tides are turning when more of the cast have watched the episodes than not. What has the world come to?

Shawn then helps us pour a dozen out for the many celebrities who have passed since last we poured one out, which seems to have been since the beginning of Covid. So yea, lots of pouring out. He promises to "go through them quick", which he promptly reneges on.

While we'll miss the bright lights and beautiful souls lost this year, we will *not* miss this year. Many continued thanks for hanging out on the Warped deck with this our weird group of friends. Live long and prosper, we hope to engage with you in a wonderfully brilliant 2021!

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Episode 147 - The Royale

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 17:30:56 GMT

Once again the Warped crew asks the tough questions. Do you own a bolo tie? What defines cheating? What book would you like to be stuck in for decades? ( if you would like to answer this question yourself please email us at warpedthepodcast@gmail.com and maybe we will read it on air!!!!!) and most importantly, who's eating on mic? ( turns out everyone) We learn there is a level of nerd that even Minwin can't handle when the conversation turns to (duh, duh duhhhh) LARPS!!!!!!!!!!!

Also in this weeks episode we talk about the episode. Like back ground Lionel Richie and the overarching doom of being stuck in a casino for 60 years. All in all a triumph in the pantheon of Warped even if May can't say Data right.

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Episode 146 - Contagion

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 17:30:19 GMT

Before answering the great questions of the day like: "Do you remember mousse?", "What's the most 90's movie?" and "Where is the pee hole?", the Warped crew discusses Romulan fashion. Erin gets stumped by the strangest FMK to date ( and that's saying something) and we discuss Jean Luc's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. in the end we all take solace that we live in a world with Dolly Parton even if that world is a living hellscape.

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Episode 145 - The Dauphin

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 17:30:15 GMT

"It's a Wesley episode, so buckle in." We certainly get this episode started hot and heavy. It must be the dolphins.

Aside from briefly traipsing through French royal history, we also chat about which of the Star Trek crew we'd want to give our kids "the talk".. you know, with the space birds and the green-skinned alien bees. Interestingly enough, no one said Picard. May marvels at the broad reach that Star Trek has had in popular culture.

But most importantly, it's a record setting first for the Warped crew as we play "Only Connect" and correctly guess two answers with only one clue each. Witness Warped history in the making. Boy, was that exciting!

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Episode 144 - The Measure of a Man

Fri, 27 Nov 2020 17:30:45 GMT

It's "The Measure of a Man.. Yea baby!"

Is it the *greatest* episode of ST:TNG or the *first* great episode? Who knows, who cares? Because we fall in love all over again (this episode really cops the feely-feels on the Warped crew). So come snuggle with us this frigid holiday eve. Emotions run strong, love is in the air, America made its vote heard. What's not to love?

Happy holidays, everyone! We love you, thanks for being Warped with us.

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Episode 143 - A Matter of Honor

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 17:30:51 GMT

Cultural misunderstandings abound on this week's Warped! Minh confuses Ben Vereen for our favorite Star Trek aliens, Erin tells us how an octopus can teach a man, Jake forgets what jingle he's singing, and we all ponder Will "The Tromboner" Riker's effect on Klingon women! We also dig deep into nudity in 80s movies, and come down firmly pro-dong! All this, plus a Wrath of Khan Corrections Corner, and Shawn takes on Matt in a war of the Last Christmas recommendations.

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Episode 142 - Unnatural Selection

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 17:30:49 GMT

We're feeling our age on this week's Warped! Minh defends the elderly while the rest of us mock. We ponder whether our parents were hot when they were young, and were we? And how much older can Dr. Pulaski get anyway? Meanwhile Minh worries about getting his groove on, Shawn remembers the Star Trek Las Vegas ride, and we speculate on who among us is the Jerry of the Warped crew. (Parks and Rec fans will get this.) All this and The Manscaping of Will Riker!

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Episode 141 - The Schizoid Man

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 17:30:00 GMT

On this week's Warped we get down and dirty with a meteorological FMK, while the Earth lets humans know what it thinks about RBG's death. Erin gets excited about the notion of Chris Evans' peen being on the internet and a discussion pops up about how we, the Warped crew, would handle our dick pics. Meanwhile May introduces a new segment where she goes down a hole of some kind. And in Star Trek, Data gets taken over by an old perv that tells him "Call me Grandpa", grows a beard and blah blah blah... Chris Evans' penis is on the internet, gotta go!

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Episode 140 - Loud as a Whisper

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 16:30:54 GMT

Shawn has harsh words at the top of the hour for long missing cast member, Philippe. We miss you dearly, brother! Minh proves yet again that you should *never* invite him onto your bar trivia team. At least he's light. We continue to worry about whether we're offending our single listener. Please, if you're reading this... we're sorry. For everything.

Quotable quotes from this episode:

"I should learn sign language so I can go over there and hit on the hot deaf guys."

"If you've got stubby fingers, you're not gonna be able to get them in those holes."

"Surely there must be an easier way.. and there was."

"Everyone should go vote. Because the fucking planet is falling apart!"

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Episode 139 - The Outrageous Okona

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 16:30:53 GMT

"Welcome in everyone, to Erin's intro." gg, girl!

Before trading trivia about the Big Whoops, Erin remodels our Corrections Corner into a more comfortable Corrections Nook. Sippin' on gin 'n juice in our new nook, we find out sex(uality) is on our minds as we contemplate the smoldering looks and rakish vest of our hero. Shawn and Matt enjoy rolling tits in their mouths, while our usual game of FMK gets down to the nitty gritty when we scrape the sexpot of pop-culture for more grist to feed our ever-ravenous mill. The connections are wild and woolly as always.

We push the Pisc(opo) and find out we'd rather take the piss and flush this poop. Whooooshhh..

Matt and May get the Warped crew deep diving into their thoughts and feelings on Lower Decks, Star Trek's animated show. We're gonna be watching these shows until the heat death of the universe. Promise or threat?

Finally dear listener, how much would you pay James Van Der Beek for a personalised Cameo message? It's probably not *nearly* as much as our dear producer, Jacob, would. Does der Beek do singing telegrams? We'll be in Holodeck 4.

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Episode 138 - Elementary, Dear Data

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 16:30:15 GMT

It's that time on Warped where we celebrate law enforcement figures who appear in books and film, and nowhere else. May has read an article, so expect Lower Decks tidbits. Minh and Matt wander onto the holodeck. A V. C. Andrews marathon reels in Erin. There is an attempt to defend the actions of one Dr. Pulaski, but the truth is that some of the crew have yet to cultivate a proper love for Data, which will always come with time.

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Episode 137 - Where Silence Has Lease

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 16:30:21 GMT

Listeners are invited to email the show to name Minh's hypothetical child. Erin is weirded out by some bad looks. Riker gives Data a good look at his business affairs, and Data takes notes in an effort to be more human. Our favorite Star Trek trope returns for season 2: the Energized Cloud! Minh introduces a brand new captain into Trek canon. We give Erin lease to conduct us on the Corky Romano train, and it ends up being a Transcontinental Railroad. We teach Minh about war, and get to the bottom of our feelings about Dr. Pulaski.

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Episode 136 - The Child

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 16:30:29 GMT

In a show of many firsts, Erin kicks off the new season with a single question repeated: where's Whoopi? Where's Whoopi?! Seymour Cassel gives Minh some serious Rip Taylor vibes. The alien baby from this episode is giving us reverse elephant vibes. Data is giving us Tin Man mashed with Scarecrow vibes. Riker is giving off "I'm not buying that kid shoes" vibes. We learn a deeply sad truth about Picard's upbringing. Don't worry, we have the Whoopi facts that you crave, and possibly some weekly updates from "The View".

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Episode 135 - Cruel Intentions (Part 2)

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 16:30:35 GMT

This week, we're resuming our commentary of one of the most democratically sexy movies ever. We put down our soggy Tiger Beat to acknowledge that a nine year marriage is really long for Hollywood. Minh's sudden onset of fandom is so intense, it's all he can do to keep throwing up a little. We're most of the way through the movie already, so that gives us a chance to slow things down and appreciate the finer things. Some of those finer things: Box Office Trivia, memories of seeing our friends in person, personal joints, and Correction Corner.

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Episode 134 - Cruel Intentions (Part 1)

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 16:30:57 GMT

We're greasing the wheels of Warped by letting Erin pick our traditional end-of-season diversion from the normal weekly Trekscapade. The reward for her patience: arguably the most important and iconic movie of the 90's, "Cruel Intentions." Within the first 15 minutes of the movie, there is a reference to Captain Picard, and really, that's more then enough justification for us to watch it. There's a lot of sexual energy on the show this week as we revel in some hormonal teenage nostalgia and celebrate the fifth most important character in the movie, "The Pool." For those with a sensitivity to mentions of Ryan Phillippe's butt, listener discretion is advised.

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Episode 133 - The Neutral Zone

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 16:30:06 GMT

Everyone likes a quiz, so let's find out what we smell like to vampires. We bid a fond, albeit temporary, farewell to Dr. Crusher. Minh tries to fire Philippe's producers. Matt experiences a sexual awakening sometime during the 150-year run of "The Facts of Life." Over the years, Jared Leto has slowly crawled his way from the table into the box, but it's unlikely he'll be there for long. Erin gives us her rundown of TNG Season 1's best characters. Sneak Peak: Worf makes the list!

Another season of Star Trek on the books! Next stop: season 2 of The Next Generation with a brief layover in "Cruel Intentions."

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Episode 132 - Conspiracy

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 16:30:48 GMT

There's a shake-up in the Warped crew as we go out for a fun romp with some musty Klingon warriors. Our recording aligns with the release of the new Lower Decks animated Star Trek show, and we tease our own future enjoyment of it.

What kind of a bender are you? Am I asking that correctly? Like, what would you prefer to bend? Rocks?

Erin talks about her preferred type of murderer for getting some good sleep, and her deep IKEA trauma. In a stroke of unbridled capitalism, we anticipate the release of all-new, completely rehashed Twilight books.

Enjoy the show, where we drag you down, but in a good way. Like a whale. Does a whale drag you down?

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Episode 131 - We'll Always Have Paris

Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:30:36 GMT

It turns out, Minh has fenced with swords and may have done some black market fencing of swords as well. Shawn starts some unnecessary controversy with some hot takes on the Eiffel Tower. If you wish to discuss this topic with him any further, you can meet him in Mirror Paris. We take a look at some images of young Patrick Stewart, and find that the sex appeal has always been strong with this one. Correction Corner returns with some Box Office trivia from 1987. Jake is ready for Matt to talk about Meredith Baxter, and vice versa. All this plus the latest Warped Recommendations for you to hit up on your streaming service of choice.

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Episode 130 - Skin of Evil

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 16:30:52 GMT

This week starts with an order for some extra crispy skin, but we're given something much more evil. We long for a time in the far future of our generation ship where we are able to see future crews in past uniforms. Erin tries to subtly cheat the Minh-Bingo game, gets caught, and then decides to cheat openly. Shawn tells us about the first episode of Star Trek he ever watched with Matt. (Hint: it's this episode!) Much discussion is held about the man in the Metamucil. We don't have much choice in the matter; Star Trek insists on showing us their black goo every 7 minutes. Recent events have prompted Matt to issue some statements of a political nature, so please be forewarned.

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Episode 129 - Symbiosis

Fri, 14 Aug 2020 16:30:26 GMT

Well, if anything can welcome you into a new episode, it's a weird take on how Space Janitor is the prestige job of the future and engineers are basically disposable. Erin teases the dawn of a new age of Corky Romano tidbits. Minh never remembers a name, but he will occasionally remember a face. Silly shows like "Floor is Lava" still spark joy in our child-hearts, but our adult-hearts, knees, and ankles fear for our personal safety. Matt leaves us with a cliffhanger about the contents of his inappropriate dream involving a mystery member of the Warped crew.

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Episode 128 - The Arsenal of Freedom

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 16:30:13 GMT

Erin "clings on" to the one fact she will remember when the podcast is just a distant speck in her rear-view mirror. We've completely replaced the antiquated game of FMK for the much more streamlined "Box or Table". You would not believe how few of us have seen "The English Patient." May takes a crack at her own version of vocal music trivia. We revisit Correction Corner, and it looks like a couple of Gallagher brothers have moved in with their shared melon mallet.

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Episode 127 - Heart of Glory

Fri, 31 Jul 2020 16:30:13 GMT

Matt plays the part of "Secret Romulan" by telling us a little Star Trek fib that leaves us all facing the wrong way. Evolution has weeded out weaponized bathing suit-areas, and that information is now secured for future generations in the event that we are the only remaining anthropological evidence of modern society. We learn about one of Scott Bakula's relatively unknown early works. Minh unleashes his inner art critic in a scathing rebuke of the mountains of dreadful macaroni art he keeps getting from scores of no-talent hacks (aka, children). Hey! We actually talk about Klingons in this one!

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Episode 126 - Coming of Age

Fri, 24 Jul 2020 16:30:19 GMT

This week's episode sparks some of Jake's earliest Star Trek fantasies about awkwardly cruising the stars in a tricolor Starfleet onesie. We give Marina Sirtis a break from Twitter drama, because she deserves it. Matt proctors an "actors vs. characters" quiz that puts Erin's limited interest in the show to the test. Jean Stapleton brings the show to an abrupt halt. Erin drops another celebrity encounter story that proves she's much more closely connected to Star Trek than the rest of the crew. Shawn ventures into the forbidden grounds of Correction Corner, where Matt, benevolent monarch of errata that he is, reigns supreme.

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Episode 125 - Home Soil

Fri, 17 Jul 2020 16:30:51 GMT

This episode has been called "utter nonsense" and "weirder than usual," and that's by one of the hosts, so you know you're in for a wild ride. Minh makes a dramatic entrance and has a surprise in store for us. Over the course of the show we try to catch him up on who killed Bob Fosse's wife and the latest trends in hagfish slime. Then, for some reason, mosquitoes.

The helicopters have been buzzing around Jake's head for the past week, and surely enough there has been a commensurate reduction in his interest in looting the neighborhood. Shawn almost brings the wrong sign out to his micro-protest, but either way the cause of equality would have been advanced.

We close things out with a discussion of some of our favorite comic strips, comic books, and novels during the different ages of our lives. We really should finish "The Iliad," though. Maybe next week.

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Episode 124 - When the Bough Breaks

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 16:30:30 GMT

After our Zoo Radio intro falls apart around us, we pick up the pieces by talking about male junk ratios. Because Star Trek, I guess.

We look back on our less hairy times, except for Shawn. Such times don't exist for him.

We have a perfectly civil discussion about the merits of the various comestibles found in Chex Mix, but our conflicting feelings about boba threaten to destroy our friendships and end the podcast forever.

Shawn and Matt have simpatico feelings when it comes to so many of their different likes and dislikes. There's one or two key differences, I suppose. But Shawn hasn't tried the Cool Ranch flavor of... You know what? You'll just have to listen to the episode for more info on this topic.

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Episode 123 - Too Short a Season

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 16:30:39 GMT

We're channeling some public radio vibes and welcoming everyone back with a classy, soothing tone. Our returning listeners will know that anything this orderly can't last for long on Warped. As if to drive this point home in the most succinct way possible, we kick things into a higher gear by talking about people having romantic relations with birds of prey. This episode basically taunts us with some truly terrible old man makeup and then fails to deliver on the promise of a baby version of the guest star. We take a closer look at life aboard a modern aircraft carrier, and Minh makes the case for eliminating naval waste the old-fashioned way. Don't miss out on Matt's flash of genius as he changes the whole Cheetos game.

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Episode 122 - 11001001

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 16:30:56 GMT

We're not sure why the mirror universe version of Picard was cast to be in this episode as a normal Starfleet character, but here we are. 5G Truther Fran Drescher ushers us into a new and more profitable podcast genre. Matt wants to know which brass musician is the sexiest, but Erin demures in favor of sleeping with the whole band. Patches the Podcat blesses the episode with a brief nap on the keyboard. We bust out our favorite Warped bits, and even though Pouring One Out for the Homies is a highly emotional trial, Corrections Corner really perks us back up with an exploration into the origins of the glory hole.

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Episode 121 - Angel One

Fri, 19 Jun 2020 16:30:21 GMT

This week, we reconvene as a full crew to play the popular children's game, "Pin the Nipple on the Riker". Shawn books a trip on the Avatar hype train, but decides to transfer his ticket to the Greyhound bus of disappointment. Erin and Philippe deal with their children wanting to play Fortnite, and now so do we all, because this is our shared reality, and because Jimmy Fallon got away with it, so why not us. Star Trek wants to prove that women would all wear high heels when given power over their choices. Matt reminisces about almost meeting Erin in the club, then uses his trusty soundboard to set the mood for some steamy action that's happening on-screen. We drink for the rare sighting of shirtless Picard, then Minh offers to perform a blind evaluation of our naked torsos. We hope you enjoy this, the Luke Hemsworth of podcasts.

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Episode 120 - Datalore

Fri, 12 Jun 2020 16:30:59 GMT

Yes, this is the "Shut up, Wesley" episode, and that just needs to be said right at the top. We're not watching Leaving Las Vegas today; I don't know if we could take it, but we can celebrate Nicolas Cage like a good podcast should. Shawn talks Star Trek Beyond to put us back on topic. The verdict stands that Brent Spiner makes this whole episode work, and a bottle of Chateau Picard makes Matt work for this show. Are you a fan of the beach more as a concept than a reality? Then Minh is your guy. He and Anakin Skywalker are NOT excited about the prospect of sand. The secret password for this episode is "Crystalline Entity". Don't forget it!

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Episode 119 - The Big Goodbye

Fri, 05 Jun 2020 18:12:14 GMT

Jake gives the crew a friendly, completely on-time "hello" when he makes it to the recording of this episode.

Minh takes a crack at Tom Hanks movie trivia. For our returning listeners, you'll probably know how to bet on the over-under.

If you were ever curious about what LARPing is like, just watch any Star Trek holodeck episode.

We open up an email service to provide emergency care to all those negatively affected by Minh in his more monstrous moments of fan-rage. Matt wades through Chekov slash fiction to deliver us some peeled grapes.

And, finally, we release the CRACKLE during Corrections Corner, if only so we never have to talk about Corky Romano again.

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Episode 118 - Haven

Fri, 29 May 2020 17:57:09 GMT

Content Warning: this week's episode contains some scenes of "Full-Frontal Aludity." We put words into Gene Roddenberry's mouth in an effort to get him to speak for himself. Erin wins the show by putting some rods in some berries, but all we got out of it was this lousy t-shirt.

Somehow, Minh has managed to see a TV show that Shawn has not seen, and the show gets thrown completely off course. Jake lures in the hardcore Star Trek fans with references to the Qowat Milat and the practice of Absolute Candor.

Really, all I can do is quote Minh by saying, "It was a fun and awkward episode." Was he talking about Star Trek or Warped? The answer is "Yes."

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Episode 117 - Hide and Q

Fri, 22 May 2020 16:30:46 GMT

Through freakouts and breakdowns, Warped is in the house, staying strong in the face of adversity and mulling over some post-quarantine tattoo ideas. Jake's microphone issues are giving him the "Dateline Whistle Blower" treatment. Quick breakdown of some of our favorites: favorite time-traveling scientist, Christopher Plummer, favorite famous doctor, Dr. Dre. If you could look like anything would you pick bowling ball chicken head, or young Brad Pitt? I know. Choices!

Minh recounts his impoverished upbringing and the family dog that, while he was growing up, was almost like having an animal in the backyard. We get nostaligic about the musical trends of the 90's, and offer to visit one another with our six-foot tree clippers to help whatever hair situation you have going on during the quarantine.

We're having some trouble coming up with a mnemonic device to remember the functions of rods and cones, but then again, these are just two things and maybe we should just try a little harder if it's that important. We channel our inner BuzzFeed and finally designate each crew member as a one of the main characters on Friends.

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Episode 116 - The Battle

Fri, 15 May 2020 16:30:34 GMT

Sit down with some tea and biscuits and let us tell the tales of our most recent emotional breakdowns. Philippe and Erin are not into the Ferengi transporter sparkles, apparently, but hey, their children are just little babies who don't see age. Farrah Fawcett takes us on a tour of Charlie's Angels old and new. While Jake drops a bomb, a party of five sharks jumps the River(dale). Matt really digs Shawn's new mountain look. We have comic talk in Correction Corner, and praise Casablanca, Dua Lipa, and Nine Inch Nails in our Warped Recommendations. We have very eclectic interests!

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Episode 115 - Justice

Fri, 08 May 2020 16:30:03 GMT

This week kicks off with a question: what can we get down Minh's mouth hole? Philippe's sense of humor does a lot of world building and stuns us into silence. He also reminds us that Tasha isn't comfortable unless she's in a crowd. Minh isn't used to seeing so much body hair on men, a hard truth many of us face every day. Our friend from Canada had this episode recorded on VHS back in the day, and there were definitely some parts of the tape that were worn out. In the game of "What Will Minh Say?", everybody loses no matter what. Let us introduce you to our newest sponsor: the game of "Ball". Need a break from sex? Try Ball! Here at Warped we frequently push the boundaries of acceptable behavior, but you'll be relieved to know that we draw the line at baby blood. Yikes!

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Episode 114 - Lonely Among Us

Fri, 01 May 2020 16:30:36 GMT

Erin brings the full force of her popcorn horde to bear on the Lonely Among Us. We play some pool games with Marc Alaimo. There's a certain medical visor that Dr. Crusher wears that instantly becomes an enemy of the show. Starfish can be pretty gross; don't believe the rosy starfish propaganda that's been floating around. The crew channels the spirits of the team that created the alien costumes for this episode. *Bark* *Bark*. Shawn misses golf, which is shocking to Minh, for some reason. Don't get Philippe and Jake started talking about siphonophores. That could take up your whole evening. We come up with a new game that tries to do the impossible: predict the next out-of-alt-right-field thing that Minh is going to come up with.

We are shocked and appalled by what this episode turned into and demand that our names be removed from the project. Stay tuned for Matt's Christine Baranski podcast, coming soon.

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Episode 113 - Where No One Has Gone Before

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 17:06:26 GMT

Everyone thanks their "femailman" for the dedicated service they continue to provide. Matt takes a stand for fat people representation. We try to understand the nature of Wesley's new sweater buddy. Erin tells us about her unfortunate encounters with the bidet. In Correction Corner, which Matt does, says he won't do, and then does anyway, we go hard for Meredith Baxter and soft for Stephen Collins. Minh takes us home with one of his trademark apt comparisons. We hope all our listeners are hanging in there and we're grateful that you'll continue to join us in flinging our collective anxious energy into the bottomless pit of podcast. Stay safe!

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Episode 112 - The Last Outpost

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 16:30:38 GMT

Live and not in person from the Quarantine Zone, bank robbers from an indeterminate century convene to uphold a tradition that, at this point, feels like it must have been established by our forefathers. That tradition: Warped! We've been scattered to the winds and our respective closest Taco Bell locations are miles apart, but just like life, the Warped crew, uh, finds a way! While Minh's mind is settled squarely on foreign phalluses, Erin and Philippe drop us an erotic quarantine recommendation. Philippe reveals that he has made a huge mistake by preparing for the show. We get a lot of exciting updates during Possum Talk; try not to be alarmed if you feel a slight nibbling on your toes. We're disappointed with the first appearance of the Ferengi, but they remind us of Alf, for some reason, and that makes us happy. All in all, this episode of Trek gets the level of attention that it deserves, and while social distancing may break us apart, love will keep us together.

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Episode 111 - Code of Honor

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 16:30:34 GMT

Welcome to the episode of TNG that brought shame to the entire cast, with one notable exception. Minh pours one out for the homies, and Shawn cleans up his mess. Erin points out the fact that Troi can probably see more than anybody else, but Matt wisely suggests we change the subject. Most of the crew catches up on the whole Parasite phenomenon. MOST of the crew...

Anyways, we find some cool uses for brewer's yeast right before going hard for Corky Romano, Coneheads, and Napoleon Dynamite. Remember, everything is legal on the holodeck, but that doesn't mean it's cool.

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Episode 110 - The Naked Now

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 16:30:11 GMT

No legal argument or political debate in the history of mankind has been as contentious or impassioned as this week's game of FMK, especially since all women seem a little like Betazoids to Philippe. It's true, guys with C-Section scars can be a bit off-putting, but so can babyface Frakes. Erin is ushered in to the modern age of vulgar stuff on the internet. Dr. Crusher knows better, but when you need that shiny head, you just gotta have it. Riker shakes off the effects of reduced inhibitions, Kirk-style, based on his extensive experience with the sensation. Shawn has his finger on the button and is ready to check out, but we remind him that his duty to Warped supersedes his need to escape the relatively minor discomforts of pandemic isolation.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 10

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 16:30:52 GMT

An epic finale deserves an epic recap. And so Matt, Shawn, and Minh hitch up their Moscow Mules one last time to go even deeper Inside Picard than any one has dared go before. We send affirmations to our audience that all their various opinions are completely valid and we just hope that you and your loved ones are able to stay safe and be well in these trying times. Minh has some delicious beverages and his exceptional ability to visualize the show based on inebriated ramblings, and he's ready for a tale of synthetic love. Matt signs off on his scene-by-scene report card so the show will have time to reflect and grow over the break. Jake drops some new jingles, because everyone loves Elnor. Stay tuned to the end to hear when the cry moments come fast and loose for Shawn, how Minh makes the show about something real, and where Matt gives us the Picard Pros and Cons that we all know in our hearts to be true.

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Episode 109 - Encounter at Farpoint - Part 2

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 16:30:58 GMT

The Warped crew returns for the exciting two-part kickoff to Star Trek: The Next Generation. We're relieved to find out that Erin is sufficiently entertained by this new iteration of the sci-fi saga and has no immediate plans to leave the show. Plus, as a bonus, she gives us a review of the latest series of Forensic Files. LeVar Burton does what he does best by making a new friend and winning over our hearts. We pour one out in memory of Ike, and also our respect for Minh's calendar awareness.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 9

Wed, 25 Mar 2020 16:30:34 GMT

In the penultimate episode of Inside Picard's first season, we wax lexicographical and think back on our own time in Arcadia. Matt has some very hot takes when it comes to the writing for this episode, so take appropriate burn precautions. People's feelings towards Jean-Luc turn from undisguised hatred to outright betrayal, and we respond in kind. Our recap may not be as good as some episodes of Inside Picard, because we're clearly putting in a lot of work to setup the season finale.

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Episode 108 - Encounter at Farpoint - Part 1

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 16:30:44 GMT

The Warped crew emerges from FTL and finally arrives at the good stuff. Witness our very first commentary of Star Trek: The Next Generation. We recall the days of being young and innocent, when we thought The Animated Series was going to be our deliverance. Ah, the halcyon days of yesteryear. While building a bridge between generations, we manage to prove our value as Trek lore educators.

Who mourns for werewoof? Probably all the poor cables that got ripped out in the greatest catastrophe to ever befall Warped Studios! Oh yeah, and Erin who tripped over said cables. She's fine, though. Probably. I don't know; I have a lot on my plate right now. I mean... our poor cables! Pray for them!

And so begins our endless love affair with Patrick Stewart's head shape.

P.S. Minh has a special reward on offer for anybody leaving a review of the show.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 8

Thu, 19 Mar 2020 04:06:24 GMT

Amid pandemic fears and social distancing, the Warped crew's very own Unholy Triumvirate once again convene to recap the latest episode of Star Trek: Picard. The episode is "Broken Pieces" and it, being a truly excellent piece of streaming television, prompts us to navigate the murky waters of our collective podcasting psyche. In a moment of clarity, a shimmering fragment of eternity is glimpsed from the corner of the mind's eye. All is made clear as the realities of truth, love, and mortality bring us closer together, binding us to a common cause of purpose and reason.

Then we refresh our beverages and blather on for over 100 minutes about shirtless Elnor, BJ's, and F-Bombs. So buckle up, Buttercup. It's going to be a bumpy transwarp drive.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 7

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 16:30:36 GMT

It's two guys, a girl, and pizza in space! And we would watch that for as long as the good people in the TV are willing to show it to us. Despite all our cumulative Trek knowledge, we still must ask the question, "Can a Romulan do a mind meld-type thingy?" Elnor confirms his status as future death Roomba. The cry count goes way up on this one, and our discussion is so in-depth that we hit upon the secret message of the entire show.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 6

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 16:30:15 GMT

Do androids dream of positronic sheep? This week on Inside Picard we delve into Soji's created memories, and create a few memories of our own. Shawn breaks form and jumps around almost as much as the show's flashback narrative structure. Matt out-cries everyone on the crew, breaking Shawn's winning streak. This week's Digression Corner gives us a peak at an impossible burger and an unrelated parasite. Warning: the crew gets a bit critical of some of the writing decisions made on this episode. Let the sensitive be warned!

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 5

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 17:30:22 GMT

Superstar podcaster Matt is guesting on so many shows, he isn't sure which show he's on anymore. Just remember that we knew him when.

The crew makes preparations to move into a convention hall bathroom. Jake swings by with a rock-solid cosplay idea. The old Bruce Maddox is doing just fine, so don't worry. The new Bruce Maddox on the other hand? Totally different story.

Minh continues his saga of obscure references, but he may just be a Lying Cat. Overall, we rate this episode a 5 of 9... 7 of 9 with phasers. We'll catch up with you again next week, our Mom AI is telling us we have to get ready for bed.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 4

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 02:50:14 GMT

Jonathan Frakes directs an episode of Picard, and everyone likes that. Space elves reach a new level of sexy with the Orlando Bloom of the Romulan set. Warrior nuns show how to give everyone the business and pass it off as an act of piety. We have some irreconcilable differences with the inconsistent representation of the economy of the future. Minh gives us some room for creative expression, and Matt gives us the results of the "Data's smell" Twitter poll.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 3

Thu, 20 Feb 2020 05:08:28 GMT

The Warped crew engages some advanced telecommunications tech to host an entirely remote recording of Inside Picard. This is a big adjustment, so we take off some clothes to make our listening audience a little more comfortable. We give Jean-Luc a new theme song, and make a very important clarification between Hugh and Q. Ya know, for the hardcore fans. Now that we're actually talking about a modern Trek experience, it's amazing how quickly things turn towards a very sober discussion about ideological themes, social metaphor, and sassy holograms. I'll leave you with a question. If the recap of the show is longer than the show itself, is it really a recap?

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 2

Wed, 12 Feb 2020 17:30:56 GMT

We're back on the wrong side of the tracks to discuss Picard's second episode. We hope you're a fan of secret Romulan organizations, because HOO BOY! We're going to get through all this exposition together and totally recall all the important names with no problems whatsoever. And remember: if you need us, you can find us dancing down at the Borg Cloob.

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Inside Picard - Season 1, Episode 1

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 15:30:41 GMT

At long last! What the world has been waiting for! From the disturbed minds behind WARPED comes INSIDE PICARD, a Star Trek: Picard recap show! Are we two weeks late? (We are.) Has every other Star Trek podcast on the internet already done this? (They have.) But we've never let that stop us before so why start now?

Join Shawn and Matt as they recap and review Star Trek: Picard episode 1! Marvel as we describe the plot to Producer Minh, who has not seen the episode! Wonder at our inability to accurately describe a television episode we just watched! And take a warm, comforting bath in the glory that is Patrick Stewart!

Every Wednesday from WARPED, it's INSIDE PICARD.

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Episode 99 - Flowers in the Attic (Part 2)

Fri, 17 Jan 2020 17:30:44 GMT

The Stanford Prison Experiment takes podcast form as the Warped crew descends into a madness that can only be achieved by willingly subjecting oneself to the second half of Flowers in the Attic (1987). To keep the voices at bay, we spoil the rabbit and accidentally reveal how Minh is getting shafted. We talk about who dresses as what when it's time for our Twin Peaks cosplay.

Poor "the America"... never getting to see all the nudity it expects and deserves. This flick gets added to the list of the CDC's Most Hated Movies. Any good Dungeons & Dragons party would know that this is the kind of house that can only be solved with fire.

As the last vestiges of our humanity fade into a miasma of crushed angel statues, we manage to discuss the best counter to a looming creeper, the dangers of Vitamin D deficiency, and the proliferation of hirsute youngsters. Go ahead and give us a listen for the sake of the blood-related lady friends in your life. After all, you know what they say: "Happy Sister, Happy Mister."

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Episode 98 - Flowers in the Attic (Part 1)

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 17:30:49 GMT

There's a noticeable lack of Flowers in the Attic-related podcast content available on the internet, and we at Warped are doing our part to fill in the gaps. As we plan our spin-off show, "Murder, They Watched", we ponder how one should Google the dark web and the quantity of lashes one should receive for messing around with your half-uncle. Our meandering discourse takes us on a journey from Once Bitten to The Goonies to shirt tucking, short shorts, and highwaters. Erin explains away marital infidelity with the help of her old friend Accidental Insertion. We're crestfallen at the lack of salacious content in the attic, so we overcompensate with the power of imagination. Shawn makes a casual observation and DOES NOT minimize the suffering of Anne Frank. He asked me to make that clear. We close things out with a salute to popular guard dogs of the 1980's that have since fallen out of fashion, and find comfort in the fact that at least they had their day in the sun, doing lines of coke on their speed boats... and then Erin almost kills Matt.

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Episode 97 - How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth / The Counter-Clock Incident

Fri, 03 Jan 2020 17:30:05 GMT

The excitement is palpable as we reach the end of Star Trek: The Animated Series. Our special guest Kylie returns to the show, and we immediately ask her about alien genitalia. We pour out an extensive amount of beverage for those we have lost this year; the list is long and our sorrow runs deep. Matt bares his soul while revisiting the trauma of losing on Jeopardy. Corrections Corner takes us into a deeper exploration of the pornography situation in East Asia. Winnie the Pooh gets banned, we celebrate the performance artist Yoko Ono, and find out all the things we get wrong when Matt and Shawn aren't around. Matt teases an epic quiz, so take this opportunity to study old Warped episodes, because you definitely have time to fit that into your life. We hope you had a great year, we hope you get a little bit of entertainment, joy, or even just a little diversion from our silly little show, and we are extremely grateful to all our listeners. We look forward to bringing you more of the most completely unnecessary commentary in 2020! Have a Happy New Year and don't forget to hit that bell!

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Episode 96 - The Practical Joker / Albatross

Fri, 27 Dec 2019 17:30:37 GMT

All hands are at battle stations! Warped is back to its full complement of expendable redshirts. As we round the home stretch on Star Trek: The Animated Series, a new special guest joins the show, and despite the excitement of our reunion we let her get a word in from time to time. Ugly is such an ugly word, but when you look upon square-shaped alien nostrils, you will truly know what it is to gaze into a dual-abyss of monstrous horror. We trace the origins of Ugg footwear to an advanced alien species, and Matt celebrates his life's calling as morning radio show sound effects guy. While things up on the screen slow down, we take the opportunity to refresh our beverages. Philippe does some visual humor that will not play well via podcast, so be prepared for that. Correction Corner brings the fire with references to Hee Haw, ZZ Top, apple detectives, our achin' bones, the end of Voyager, new Data, old De Niro, and we even work in a recommendation for The Fall.

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Episode 95 - The Pirates of Orion / Bem

Fri, 20 Dec 2019 17:30:24 GMT

Matt, Shawn, and Jake continue their own private rumspringa with some serious complaints about the muddling of alien names in Star Trek. We're taking the opportunity to catch up on our latest Warped Recommendations (and Warped Things to Avoid). Matt looks back at his favorite films of the decade. We begin our inevitable transition into a much more marketable True Crime / Star Trek hybrid podcast. Jake rants about Death Stranding and the video game trends that it represents; he doesn't really know how to feel about it without the help of the sound board. Before the sun goes down on this week's episode, we weigh in on The Good Place, Queer Eye, Unbelievable, The Politician, Watchmen, His Dark Materials, Mad Max: Fury Road, Upstream Color, My Favorite Murder envy, and our future tour, which we are absolutely scrambling to organize before the deadline in 2021.

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Episode 94 - The Eye of the Beholder / The Jihad

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 17:30:29 GMT

Warped is down to a skeleton crew of deck swabbers while everyone else is off on shore leave. Shawn, Matt, and Jake miss having the extra bodies around to validate their quips with laughter. We throw things together at the last minute as an homage to the recent televised production of The Little Mermaid Live, and we share our thoughts on the recent spate of live TV musicals. Matt talks about being a guest on another podcast, which, other than Baby Yoda, is the most exciting thing to ever happen to this podcast. Without all the extra judgment of the extra crew members, the "OG3" (cue Matt cringing) are free to share their real thoughts on The Mandalorian, High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, and Encore. We're losing a lot of homies these days; Shawn pours one out for Rob Garrison, Ric Ocasek, Eddie Money, Cokie Roberts, and Aron Eisenberg. Fortunately, Matt comes back with a bathroom etiquette story that alleviates our collective existential anxiety.

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Episode 93 - The Ambergris Element / The Slaver Weapon

Fri, 06 Dec 2019 17:30:59 GMT

Is it Amber-GRISS? Amber-GREE? Some pronunciation issues get things off to a rocky start. When you mansplain to a man, that's just called being a dick, so, instead, let's talk about the movie sequels that pick up right where the previous title left off. Whale spunk was hot at Matt's high school. Minh checks the box on his signature inappropriate question of the week by turning his all-seeing eye on the human climax. We confirm that Scooby-Doo has eyes. Shawn shows us that he is a true prince by flexing his 90's music trivia muscle to excellent effect.

Oh, wait! This episode doesn't count BECAUSE IT TAKES PLACE ON THE HOLODECK! Now go watch the Great British Baking Show (or Bake Off, if that's what it's called where you are) so we can talk about it.

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Episode 91 - Once Upon a Planet / Mudd's Passion

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 17:30:22 GMT

Looking back on the history of the show, this will be remembered as "The One Where Jake Gave Matt the Sound Board He Had Constantly Been Requesting". Erin drizzles some plant butter on everyone, and Minh is discombobulated by his kryptonite, tomato juice. Philippe refuses to self-affirm in public, even if he does have a hankering for some seitan. Minh emerges from the comfort of his crevasse to investigate the mysteries of accidental insertion. Matt gives us the the Furry 411 on our carpet-clad friends on all frequencies of the fuzzy spectrum. These notes are running long, and Minh needs to go to the bathroom, so bye for now.

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Episode 90 - The Infinite Vulcan / The Magicks of Megas-tu

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 17:30:23 GMT

As we delve further into Bones' bedroom behaviors, our everyday lives start to devolve into meme theater, and Shawn inadvertently spawns a new segment of the show where he performs an assistive listening version of common gifs. Minh tanks his audition for Plant Creature #2. Corrections Corner takes us on a trip down Special Guest first appearance memory lane. Whatever you do, don't drink soda while you're giving someone "The Crackle." Erin fails out of her mythological creature seminar... or does she?! Yes. Yes, she does, but stick around for her Corky Romano redemption. Before we draw "Last Blood," Matt drops the biggest correction burn of the series squarely on Shawn's innocent, unsuspecting face. We really start sorting out a lot of our issues when the recording light flashes, so buckle up.

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Episode 89 - More Tribbles, More Troubles / The Survivor

Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:30:56 GMT

We're busting open a bottle of Boone's Farm, because when the director is colorblind and the Klingon sounds vaguely Scottish, you might as well toss back a few. We have trouble hearing each other over the deafening sound of the sun, and then decide to take a break from meat to give Paula Abdul the props she deserves. Stay tuned, she may drop by the studio later. There's a bit of difficulty starting back up on our marathon training, but we need to get on that to make sure we're able to escape our natural predators. Matt brings the best game based on friendship ever debuted on Warped, and it proves that as friends we're pretty "meh".

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Episode 88 - One of Our Planets Is Missing / The Lorelei Signal

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 16:30:55 GMT

The crew is waiting to exhale, because while they carry the whole universe in their pockets, they still feel dead inside. Wow! That was a heavy opener to this week's description. Let's lighten up a bit! Santa Claus! Good, now we can talk about how we'll pioneer sexual escapades with many-armed and legged aliens. Star Trek Cats are poised to throw Jake out of his formerly cast-iron placement as favored Warped producer, but then Minh cracks under the pressure and walks out of the studio. We branch off into the pornographic ASMR podcast genre, scaring off most of our remaining adult fans, but attracting and emboldening some fringe listeners. If you're still game though, don't miss Matt's intro to The Lorelei Signal, he really sets the tone for the whole back half. Then we quickly revert the tone to more standard fare with a record-breaking number of games of FMK.

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Episode 87 - Beyond the Farthest Star / Yesteryear

Fri, 25 Oct 2019 16:30:13 GMT

While Jake is off getting pooched by Marc Maron, the crew kicks off their adventure into the far reaches of Star Trek: The Animated Series. The crew keeps trying to ruin Scooby-Doo for Erin, and everything is ruined by the flowering of a certain sexual tree. The whole animation business gets us wondering about Botox and using the power of science to reverse the aging process. Much like the listeners of the Warped podcast, we ask about The Animated Series: "Who is this for?" Seriously, though, Matt generates a ton of geek cred for us by dropping some hot Trek knowledge straight off the dome, which is well-timed, since the internet decides that it doesn't love us while we are trying to record. Fortunately, we agree to ourselves that it's just a show, and should really just relax.

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Episode 83 - All Our Yesterdays

Fri, 27 Sep 2019 16:30:59 GMT

It's the penultimate episode of "The Original Series" and we are just now finding out what little half-Vulcan babies are made of. Enjoy some strange tales from late night at the Luxor. The Spirit of Gene sticks it to the temperance league with a salacious double belly button. Bones is trying to divide and conquer on the only woman in his particular time period, and it's gross, everybody, it's super gross. Erin gives us an update on sometimes-cat, Bosley. If you were hoping to find an episode with more jokes about meat, you're in luck! Be sure to listen to the end to marvel at the fated first encounter between Roddenberry and Asimov.

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Episode 80 - The Way to Eden

Fri, 06 Sep 2019 16:30:35 GMT

This week, we're taking a quick break from cross talk to talk crossovers. We all don our crocheted bed covers and groove out with Hippies in space. We're intrigued to discover that Captain Kirk is the Don Draper of space, sexually speaking. As Minh relates more stories from Burning Man, the rest of the crew confirm that it's horrible and should be avoided at all costs. Matt gives Minh a dose of his unique brand of encouragement. Enjoy a rundown of our favorite and most-watched moves, such as The Matrix and The Karate Kid, but especially the balletic masterpiece with a budding young Zoe Saldana, Center Stage. Matt warns us about the fact that he will recite the dialog of the second Star Trek movie word for word when we watch it in the future. Our recommendations this week: Under the Silver Lake, Years and Years, and Joe Manganiello. All this, plus Corrections Corner!

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Episode 79 - Requiem for Methuselah

Fri, 30 Aug 2019 16:30:04 GMT

We're shooting some tequila in a toast to love and to lovers this week. While Philippe and Erin work out their heartbreaking relationship difficulties, the crew muses about musical accompaniment and our show's theme song. Like Captain Kirk, we're going to bang the love into you as we nerd out about our future attendance at Star Trek Las Vegas. Minh shares his thoughts about some other Star Trek podcasts, we work on our rider for our many future public appearances, and Shawn navigates some tricky parenting territory. It's laundry day, so you know it's time for a quick trimming of the nethers. A Titanic rift forms between the crew, but The Little Mermaid brings us back together. Matt is angrily promoting our show on Twitter, we critique Spock's nonconsensual mental assault, and we have some new recommendations this week, featuring Matthew McConaughey, Queer Eye, and Betrayal at House on the Hill.

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Episode 78 - The Lights of Zetar

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 16:30:13 GMT

While Shawn and Matt are out with simultaneous and purely coincidental cases of mono, the rest of the Warped crew go off the rails in a complete misuse of their newfound freedoms. We take the opportunity to chat about everything from cultural alienation to surgically enhanced knees, Scotty creep-factor, a bit of the scratchy-scratchy, and even safe words. We imagine the future of the world under the influence of VR until the discussion gives us motion sickness. Stalin gives Ringo Starr the business. Our mascot cat is used in a pictorial celebration of the work of R. Crumb. We discover that you're never too old for a brand new kink, which, of course, steers us right into Furry territory. Erin will probably not follow through on a prank to cheat Shawn's rating quiz, but "shhhh", it's a secret. Jake and Philippe close things out with a life-affirming hymn. Remember, if you feel like we're starting to take things a little too far, just shout, "hippopotamus."

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Episode 77 - That Which Survives

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 16:30:05 GMT

This week, the crew mutinies against the normal hosts of the show and broadcasts some pirate Warped radio. We take some shots at the Spartans now that they aren't around to defend themselves. Jake gets scatty about Scotty, Erin explores the navel while waiting for her new vacuum, and talks about her adventure in rehabilitating Bosley, our sometimes podcast mascot. While Erin is away, the boys sneak in some Dungeons & Dragons talk, but we all reconvene to chat about the Cats musical movie, Dr. Pimple Popper, cat dads, prom jams, Sonic the Hedgehog, and fine custom jewelry.

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Episode 76 - The Mark of Gideon

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 16:30:08 GMT

We've come to accept the fact that while we can't be Einstein or Hugh Jackman, we can still do the best episode of Warped possible. This time around we compare and contrast the relative grace in ageing of Wilford Brimley and Keanu Reeves, and we chat about sexy movie casts. Our trust in Erin has eroded, and we don't know what's real anymore. Other than Kirk having some naughty time, and some great crowd work from the Star Trek background actors, there's not a lot to hold our attention, so we decide to go all in on Corrections Corner, BTS, repressed Korea, putting the Star Trek races into their correct Harry Potter house, and Fyre Festival.

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Episode 75 - Let That Be Your Last Battlefield

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 16:30:55 GMT

We're pulling no punches with a heavy-handed episode of Star Trek. We learn a bit about how Special Guest Minh's mind works, as a hand injury leads to thoughts of self-love, a topic he has some real trouble leaving behind. We make some obvious jokes about alien junk, but don't worry we get it all out of our systems in the opening half of the show. Shawn breaks down some creative ways you can watch and listen to your favorite media, which leads to some gushing about Hugh Jackman. Matt tips his hat to the hardcore Star Trek fans, in honor of the great work they do giving purpose to random bits of scenery. All this, plus recommendations!

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Episode 74 - Whom Gods Destroy

Fri, 26 Jul 2019 16:30:56 GMT

This week on Warped, we perform a public service by helping people find shows with male nudity. We bang out some HBO Top 10 lists that don't go past 3. Shawn blows out my headphones when we get him talking about Sex and the City, we achieve the pound-for-pound Huskiest Podcast Award in the Glib Comedy Sci Fi Commentary Podcast genre, and Matt deals with his fat man comedy issues; special shout out to Baskets! Our Corrections Corner takes us back to Tombstone, because I guess we haven't talked about that enough, and we round things out with twin movies, The Truman Show, and The Matrix.

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Episode 73 - Elaan of Troyius

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 16:30:05 GMT

All bets are off as Nate and Phat Money return to the show to provide their unique take on classic Star Trek. This week's all-male panel attempts to maintain a modicum of wokeness by admitting that we all married up, but all our efforts are in vain as we quickly turn to our old standby, Truckstop Romeo. This week, we'll be spoiling "The Leftovers", warning people about the "Deadwood" movie, and parading out all the corrections and recommendations that keep you going another week. So dock into our spaceport and enjoy the new urban dictionary definition of "crackle" before Matt has a chance to fact check it.

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Episode 72 - The Empath

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 16:30:39 GMT

This week we are inspired by the career and characters of Jodie Foster to conduct the most epic game of FMK to date. We find out what happened to the Mars bar, talk favorite fair food, and candy bars. Matt brings us the hottest fanfic from the far corners of the Internet. We circle back on our discussion about gay icon Toni Collette, and Matt confronts his dislike of Eric Clapton in a safe environment.

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Episode 71 - Wink of an Eye

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 16:30:00 GMT

Swing on by and activate your various glands as we participate in Lasagna Watch 2019. A rift develops between members of the crew over the lack of promised side butt. We figure out which cute, fuzzy creatures are likely to kill us with their deadly poison. All this and your favorite hot topics from weeks and weeks ago, this week on Warped!

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Episode 70 - Plato's Stepchildren

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 16:30:08 GMT

This week, the crew encounters a person of short stature, and we're all on the edge of our seats to find out what Philippe is going to say to get us banned from the Internet. Erin smokes us all with her celebrity encounter story. Shawn's favorite moment in The Original Series rears its horsey head, and he celebrates by explaining some pathetic "incel" behavior at least twice. Here at Warped, as long as we've got each other, we can pour one out for the homies and build the staircase of our dreams. Sha la la la!

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Episode 69 - The Tholian Web

Fri, 21 Jun 2019 18:42:47 GMT

This time around, the crew makes plans to increase the efficiency of their viewing experience. We gotta get those numbers up! Watching one episode at a time? Those are rookie numbers! Shawn hates on the haters, and Pours One Out for the Homies. Erin pours one out onto herself. We search our feelings about Lost, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, the best and worst TV series finales and, finally, the latest Bugles Update that all the fans are craving.

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Episode 67 - Day of the Dove

Fri, 07 Jun 2019 16:30:33 GMT

This week we're hooking back up with an old Star Trek standby, the Energized Cloud. Friend of the show, Minh, stops by to elevate our collective consciousness. Erin plays with our man-triggers to help us define the various strata of nerddom. We stop worrying about our own problems for five seconds to sympathize with Korean work-life balance, while talking about adult entertainment and shooting guns. Matt is rightfully annoyed when the show interrupts his corrections, Jake tells a joke, and Philippe drinks some scotch.

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Episode 66 - Spectre of the Gun

Fri, 31 May 2019 16:30:09 GMT

The themes in this week's Star Trek episode inspire us to discuss Tombstone and Wyatt Earp. Erin gives us the lowdown on her cat situation, Jake puts himself inside the mind of a lighting designer, and Matt comes back to give the Eagles the business. Come celebrate character actor-driven movies of the 90's with us, enjoy Corrections Corner for the Gamesters of Triskelion, and join the Warped Recommendations Book Club, which is now a thing, I guess.

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Episode 64 - And the Children Shall Lead

Fri, 17 May 2019 16:30:03 GMT

Come suffer with us as we take a whack at one of the most appalling storylines of The Original Series. While the precious children are being manipulated into age-inappropriate self-love practices by a muumuu-clad cheese villain, we manage to find our own joy where we can. Jake experiences catharsis by sharing his feelings about child actors, Erin pushes the boundaries of some cultural taboos, and Philippe describes the slaughter involved in making a chinchilla fur coat. This episode's connection to Police Academy takes us all on a fun celebration of Michael Winslow, and, in a turn towards social redemption, we talk about Patches the Cat, and encourage our audience to adopt rescue animals.

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Episode 63 - The Paradise Syndrome

Fri, 10 May 2019 16:30:37 GMT

While Captain Kirk is enjoying some R & R, the Warped crew observes some of the unfortunate casting practices of the 1960's. On tap this week, a free round of cultural sensitivity training to shed some of the shame we picked up from watching this week's episode of Star Trek. Jake brings back an old Warped standard, while Shawn makes an important correction about a recent Peter Pan. Meanwhile, Philippe serenades Erin with a new song that represents the passage of time.

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Episode 62 - The Enterprise Incident

Fri, 03 May 2019 16:30:21 GMT

This week on Warped, the crew has a round-table discussion on everything we know about Romulans, which is probably a lot less than our average listener. Special Guest Phat Money returns to guide us through the sordid world of mommy porn. We discuss the socio-economic implications of the beverage known as orange drink, and whether the intimate act of bagpiping is logical or purely emotional. Someone dug our old friend the Nomad probe out of the prop room, and we give it the recognition it deserves. Don't worry, Screenie, we'll always love you best.

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Episode 61 - Spock's Brain

Fri, 26 Apr 2019 16:30:38 GMT

As we kick off a new season of Star Trek, the crew observes some changes to the show. A new color for the title, a new studio running the show, and new costumes that defy all reason and practicality. Our Special Guest, Phat Money, disses DS9 and drops a Babylon Babyl-bomb. Everyone knows this is a historically bad episode of "the Trek", but what you might not know is that it's really Scotty's hair that ruins everything. Philippe gives his hot take on star dates and works to further alienate our audience, but he makes it up to us by capturing Spock's desire to get his brain back with an elegantly composed and highly original melody. Most importantly, our latest obsession is the exciting lawnmower wheel/wax canister that is destined to become the little blue pill of the future.

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Episode 60 - The Cat from Outer Space (Part 2)

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 16:30:17 GMT

Join the Warped crew's ongoing mission through the rolling hills of New York. We share our wildest fantasies about being chased by military officers in full ascot regalia, and our darkest fears that this film was built on a foundation of kitty corpses. Just to give you a clue about the tone of this episode: we kick things off by talking about Sandy Duncan's boobs and close out the episode by talking about Sandy Duncan's lower back, so... pretty good day at the studio.

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Episode 59 - The Cat from Outer Space (Part 1)

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 16:30:48 GMT

The crew of Warped is through another season of Star Trek and is ready to get their "relax" on! Our reward to ourselves is an indulgent dip into some Disney movie nostalgia. With his guard down, Philippe comes clean about his affection for cats. The magic is ruined for Erin when someone pays a social visit with their pet. Cobie Smulders gets put on blast, but has absolutely nothing to be concerned about. And finally, we talk about race horses, but that doesn't mean we need any of your horse drama.

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Episode 58 - Assignment: Earth

Fri, 05 Apr 2019 16:30:49 GMT

The crew throws a raucous celebration in honor of making it to the end of the second season of Star Trek. Things quickly take a turn for the feline as we voice our opinion about cat companions. Deep discussion about aggressive fish, sexy time, and even more Cars talk distracts us from our important assignment. We make an exciting decision about our next episodes, but we couldn't close out the season without besmirching the good names of Lindsay Lohan and Barney one last time.

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Episode 57 - Bread and Circuses

Fri, 29 Mar 2019 16:45:58 GMT

This week on Warped, the abundance of motorcycle helmets makes us feel like we're watching CHiPs. We crack the mysteries of the Prime Directive and discuss the insidious Canadian influence on popular culture. In our newest recurring segment, Shawn honors the dead while Erin is distracted by Roman up-skirt camera shots. As always, we continue our ill-advised war against the Hollywood establishment. Be Warned! Warped Recommendations contains spoilers for Ralph Breaks the Internet.

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Episode 56 - The Ultimate Computer

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 16:30:58 GMT

Shawn is, at once, fascinated and confused by the TV show Legion, and there's no way he's alone in this. Even after all these years, Erin has no sympathy for Pierce Brosnan's character in Mrs. Doubtfire. We firmly establish ourselves as the Macaulay Culkin of podcasts. From H. G. Wells to Robert Heinlein, we finally have a thematically appropriate conversation about Science Fiction. Fortunately, we quickly catch ourselves and mosey on over to the very popular True Crime genre. All this, plus Saved by the Bell nostalgia, this week on Warped!

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Episode 55 - The Omega Glory

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 16:30:43 GMT

The Warped crew really doesn't feel like getting up and would like for someone to solve their bathroom needs with transporter technology. We channel some Swayze energy while chatting about Red Dawn, the Cars universe, and having one of the Top 12 Bristol Farms-related Comedy Podcast Rants of 2019. Our overall interest in the show can certainly dim when commenting on a plot like this, but if you measure our podcast against the quality of fight choreography in this episode of Star Trek, we're shining brighter than a supernova, baby.

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Episode 54 - By Any Other Name

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 17:31:56 GMT

On our latest commentary, the crew spots some Sci-Fi fashions that we can really get behind, and some that are too brown to be believed. We're a bit confused about how the Vulcan mind meld works... they keep changing the rules on us! Just like on every other episode, we examine the nature of reality and the existence of alternate dimensions. Need a gift suggestion for the gamer in your life? How about a 20-sided die made out of a sort of still alive person?! Kirk rolls one of these and is successful in his Charm test to save the galaxy with pure sex appeal. Listen all the way to the end to hear our impassioned plea to return Warped to its former glory. Light as a feather, stiff as a board!

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Episode 53 - Patterns of Force

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 17:30:55 GMT

The crew is emotionally overwhelmed by space Nazis and work through it by pondering the benefits of body waxing and a strong moisturizing regimen. We reveal the biggest movies that we've managed to not see and shower our loyal fans with enough TV and Movie recommendations to last them until Star Trek becomes a reality. Listen, it doesn't matter what we say this time around because we're all here to see half-naked Kirk and Spock, and that's OK!

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Episode 52 - Return to Tomorrow

Fri, 22 Feb 2019 17:30:30 GMT

Welcome back to our continuing coverage of Warped Horse Chat '19. The crew kicks things off by shooting out ideas for show merch fast and hot. Matt brings us back to our spiritual center by showering his cat with affection. We tackle important topics like body hair on men and Huell Howser. Enough with all this chit-chat, though... it's time to punch that triangle!

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Episode 51 - A Private Little War

Fri, 15 Feb 2019 17:30:55 GMT

Our most frequent guest, Minh, returns to the Warped crew just in time to plan a slumber party. Meanwhile, we're watching an explicit metaphor for the Vietnam War in the brief periods where Shawn isn't ranting against the inherent unfairness of America's Got Talent. The tension is 58% harder than a diamond as we discuss the musician Moby, the movie Heat, and the cologne Drakkar Noir. Matt gives us some important perspective on the next 13 years of Warped, and then we talk about our favorite smells. Truly, everything you've come to expect from Warped... After Dark!

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Episode 49 - A Piece of the Action

Fri, 01 Feb 2019 17:30:03 GMT

While Star Trek goes back to the 30's, the Warped crew returns to the 80's to treat our listeners to some radical singing. Matt is ready to deliver the most entertaining Correction Corner ever... oh wait, never mind... Shawn has some more important news to share. Elizabeth Montgomery gets some long overdue celebrity crush attention. We pay tribute to some recently passed famous folks and talk about whether Mary Poppins and Aquaman belong on our list of Warped Recommendations. So join us for what must be one of the most fiscally responsible romps in Star Trek history: we're cutting you in on "A Piece of the Action."

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Episode 48 - The Gamesters of Triskelion

Fri, 25 Jan 2019 17:30:05 GMT

In our grand adventure through the Star Trek canon, Warped has finally reached the year 1968! The crew reunites for a very Warped Holiday Party, and, appropriate to our nerdiness, we kick things off by arguing about how made up words should be pronounced. We find our collective spirit animal clad in garb inspired by Jiffy Pop. Witness our amazement as Captain Kirk continues to prove his nature as the most overpowered RPG character in history.

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Episode 47 - The Trouble with Tribbles

Fri, 18 Jan 2019 17:30:44 GMT

This week on Warped, the crew sits down to watch the most famous Star Trek episode of all time. Erin decides that the tribble is not cute enough to come first in our affection before Bones' wall gecko. The crew has the most important conversation you will ever hear about answering phone calls from the bathroom. Erin discusses how she met Philippe for the first time, and the type of username it takes to woo a woman. Shawn weighs in on which of his friends has the hotter wife, and it's not weird at all!

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Episode 46 - Wolf in the Fold

Fri, 11 Jan 2019 17:30:29 GMT

Don't you just hate it when you're all stressed out by work, so you beam down to a pleasure planet to unwind for a bit, but then you get possessed by the spirit of an ancient murderer and off some showgirls? Just me?

This week, the crew makes a bid to get Information Society to open for us on our Live Tour. Our enjoyment of Winnie-the-Pooh is ruined by one of the episode's guest stars. There's already a lot of Hollywood buzz going around that this episode has spurred an Ally McBeal reboot. All this, plus our entertainment recommendations.

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Episode 45 - Obsession

Fri, 04 Jan 2019 17:30:43 GMT

Audience favorite Minh returns to Warped to give us the lowdown on Moby Dick. Philippe tries out some new material before he takes it to the open mic circuit. We ask ourselves if we should spend the rest of our lives viewing Smithsonian exhibits or watching episodes of Star Trek. Bear witness to the complete unraveling of our show when Matt steps out of the room for 3 minutes. I think it's fair to say that this episode of Star Trek gets the episode of Warped that it deserves.

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Episode 44 - The Deadly Years

Fri, 28 Dec 2018 17:30:48 GMT

We're having a grand old time ringing in the new year. Truthfully, watching the officers of the Enterprise act like older versions of themselves sets our level of enjoyment to "The Neutral Zone." The crew reviews their treatment of Shawn and his role as podcast punching bag. E.H. Victorville announces her latest trashy romance novel. The real takeaway from this week: Paddington 2 is an excellent movie.

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Episode 43 - Friday's Child

Fri, 21 Dec 2018 17:30:08 GMT

This week marks the halfway point on the Warped journey through the Original Series of Star Trek! To mark the occasion, we are joined by infamous romance novelist E.H. Victorville... or maybe it's just Erin in disguise. We really play to our local audience with Airport Talk and completely blow another opportunity for a booze sponsorship. We all take a lesson from Bones, who gives the crew a rundown on what not to do in the workplace when encountering pregnant people. Shawn and Philippe prove definitively that they were the worst in high school by quoting Nietzsche.

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Episode 42 - Journey to Babel

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 17:30:58 GMT

The crew has a "meet the parents" moment when Sarek comes to town to flex his diplomatic muscle. Erin and Matt are not amused by Jake's Lord of the Rings hypothetical. At long last, Philippe reveals Spock's full name. Our collective gaze lands on some old Twilight Zone plots with one reverent and one critical eye. Our appreciation of Bugles snacks takes us on an adventure in food safety. And finally, we send our new song, "Low-Hangin' Heart" straight up to the top of the country music charts.

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Episode 41 - Metamorphosis

Fri, 07 Dec 2018 17:30:06 GMT

Warped hits a rough patch as the crew all comes down with a case of Space Herpes contracted from exposure to an Energized Cloud. Philippe discusses piracy in the era of dual VCR's and other memories from his dark past. Matt analyzes familial kissing practices and shoplifting habits. Honestly, there's a lot of saucy adult talk on this Warped After Dark; listener discretion advised!

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Episode 40 - I, Mudd

Fri, 30 Nov 2018 17:30:58 GMT

This week on Warped: Kirk's bloat factor is set to stunning. It's a small wonder when Erin gets the price exactly right guessing the episode rating. Gene gives us an exclusive on the failed original series, "Mudd Track", and the podcast simultaneously hits a new low. Like light to a singularity, the crew is unable to escape even more Frasier references. And as the sun sets on Warped After Dark, Matt and Jake ponder some super important D&D questions, while Shawn settles in with his new robot family.

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Episode 39 - Catspaw

Fri, 23 Nov 2018 17:30:29 GMT

Just in time for Halloween (just go with it) the crew convenes for a spooky episode of Star Trek, complete with black cats and dark alien magic. Matt takes a look back at popular fantasy artists of the 70's and 80's. One of our Warped Studios mascots makes an unscheduled appearance in celebration of feline representation. Jake's Dungeons & Dragons credentials are brought to bear. Also, our friend Gene drops by to give us some inappropriate behind-the-scenes info, forcing Shawn to remind him that he's been dead for quite some time.

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Episode 38 - The Doomsday Machine

Fri, 16 Nov 2018 19:18:59 GMT

We make podcast history this week as we order enough food to clear out the entire inventory of a certain Mexican-themed fast food restaurant. "Dad of the Year" Philippe terrifies his own child with an episode of The Twilight Zone. Jake brings us the best hypothetical questions from the internet. The whole crew discusses the social phenomenons of team-sports and claiming your local celebrity. I'd love to finish the description for this week's episode, but my tacos have arrived. Nom. Nom. Nom.

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Episode 37 - The Apple

Fri, 09 Nov 2018 17:30:07 GMT

Things get a little saucy as we convene our first evening of "Warped After Dark". We try to figure out what happened to a giant papier-mâché snake head. This week's "Correction Corner" clears up more of the mystery of Philippe's name and properly places the birth of Lite-Brite. Matt does an in-depth investigation into things people have gotten stuck up their... You know what, you'll just have to listen to the episode for that one. And remember: there's no wrong way to enjoy Warped, but please enjoy responsibly.

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Episode 36 - Mirror, Mirror

Fri, 02 Nov 2018 16:30:23 GMT

Shawn slipped me five bucks to mention that he nails the intro this week. We discuss the romance life of the phaser bank. Friend of the show, Gene, returns to claim he was supposed to be featured heavily in this episode. Jake recounts his first attempts to promote the show on reddit. Forgive us, but we have to issue another award for "Hottest Person on Star Trek so far." The whole crew likes to call this "the episode so nice, we ended it twice." And yes, if a parallel dimension crew member dies, that still qualifies for our drinking game.

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Episode 35 - The Changeling

Fri, 26 Oct 2018 16:30:51 GMT

So much to cover this week on Warped! Erin is extremely concerned about crew members who use the Bluetooth of the future. Philippe dispels some the mystique surrounding his name and provides proof of his sky-high testosterone levels. Matt is frustrated at the end of a half-told story, and wants to pass that frustration on to you, the listener. We dish out our best Sex and the City and Lite-Brite anecdotes. Honestly, the whole crew feels like we're being dangled from a wire, but we somehow manage to wobble our way through another episode.

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Episode 33 - Amok Time

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 16:30:20 GMT

The crew kicks off the second season of Star Trek with a bang, or, at least, the implication of banging. Our second female crew member points out how Vulcan culture is subtly inspired by pizza. Star Trek predicts the future with the first-ever reference to internet pornography. We get lost in the throes of Plak Tow at the mere mention of T'Pring. These are real things, I swear.

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Episode 30 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Part 2)

Fri, 21 Sep 2018 16:30:02 GMT

We're back this week finishing off the back half of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978). If you are just now joining us, you can listen in as we watch all our favorite characters catch the space herp. We learn that surviving an alien invasion can teach a person how to manage their meds for the perfect post-apocalyptic buzz. As the crew argues about whether or not to accept the rule of our alien overlords, we reel in horror when a damaged pod squirts out some nightmare fuel.

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Episode 29 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Part 1)

Fri, 14 Sep 2018 16:30:17 GMT

Fresh off the high we got from completing our first season of Star Trek, the crew is rewarded with a viewing of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978). We find out that the sexiest profession of the late 70's was "Health Inspector". Erin is the first to notice Leonard Nimoy's infamous half-glove. Everyone swoons for young Jeff Goldblum as we settle in for a therapeutic mud bath. Since the movie lives behind a pay wall, beyond the realm of Netflix, and is far too long for our format, this episode has been edited and will not fully sync with the film. Sad Face.

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Episode 28 - Operation: Annihilate!

Fri, 07 Sep 2018 16:30:37 GMT

We've officially made it to the final episode of Star Trek's first season. The crew reflects on our journey so far, looking back in shame at how our earlier episodes are terrible, and feeling a sense of pride at how we're now slightly less terrible. Special Guest Luis recounts his romantic "iPod in Paris" trip. We sing out in a chorus of pinched nerves, and, finally, we cast the reboot of "The Original Series" of Star Trek with Meryl Streep and Daniel Day-Lewis.

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Episode 27 - The City on the Edge of Forever

Fri, 31 Aug 2018 16:30:37 GMT

It's a real bad case of the Mondays for Bones and Joan Collins this week on Warped. We kick things off by getting a little too close to Too Close for Comfort. We toss a few back in memory of Harlan Ellison. The crew just can't agree on their stance towards Death Race 2050. Shawn goes all in on a game of Star Trek Title Trivia. And, finally, we look forward to the shows and movies we won't get to for another 10 years of podcasting.

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Episode 26 - The Alternative Factor

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 16:30:19 GMT

One of the lowest-rated episodes from The Original Series may be very hard for watching, but that just makes it more fun for listening. The compelling performance of our favorite character, "Screenie," is not enough to distract us from some really clunky narrative choices. Shawn rants about the inconvenience of a ridiculous mustache. We make an ill-advised plea for crotch-related user feedback. The crew decides to change the channel and watch Bewitched, instead.

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Episode 25 - Errand of Mercy

Fri, 17 Aug 2018 16:30:56 GMT

Special guest Minh joins us for the show's first appearance of Klingons. Matt gets knighted among the peasants in the Wild West, while everyone else puts a down-payment on a 2 bedroom, 1-1/2 dungeon castle. Phillipe proves that Clint Eastwood supports the socks-with-sandals look with a skit. The answers to this week's nonexistent quiz are: Space Elf, Pure Energy, and Costa Mesa Chamber of Commerce.

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Episode 23 - This Side of Paradise

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 16:30:33 GMT

This week on Warped, confetti-spewing flowers are the highlight of our week. Shawn takes a deep draw from his mint julep before trying to figure out why Bones changes his voice. Matt details the naissance of modern Fan Fiction and its roots in Star Trek. And, yes, we do perform some of our world famous bits as a service to our fans.

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Episode 22 - A Taste of Armageddon

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 18:02:05 GMT

We all sit down to watch Shawn's favorite episode of The Original Series. Everyone agrees that we would rather jump into a disintegration chamber than spend one minute alone with this episode's Ambassador character. Matt gives his review of the movie, The Greatest Showman, to the soundtrack of Shawn crying like a wee baby. Jake improvises a song from Disney's hit show, Zombies, which he has never seen.

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Episode 21 - Space Seed

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 16:30:00 GMT

Despite its importance in the Star Trek canon, the temptation to make sophomoric jokes about this episode's title proves to be too great for our collective maturity level. Erin questions the practicality of theoretical 90's fashion and attempts to replicate Khan's hairstyle for science. Brief streaming issues prompt the crew to perform their best impression of the dial-up modem experience. Jake starts to justify Star Trek writer logic with his voluminous RPG knowledge.

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Episode 20 - The Return of the Archons

Fri, 13 Jul 2018 22:19:52 GMT

In this week's episode, the crew argues the merits of sexual rampage while under the influence of a glorified Apple IIe. Phillipe and Erin get into a heated discussion regarding their neighborhood cats. The ending of the actual Star Trek episode is not enough hold our attention as we have what is perhaps one of the finest conversations about Short Circuit 2 ever recorded. Also, this episode is surprisingly useful for people trying to understand more about cryptocurrency.

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Episode 19 - Court Martial

Fri, 06 Jul 2018 20:31:58 GMT

After a brief time away, Matt makes his triumphant return to the crew. This week's episode becomes the inspiration for a perfect cat name. We begin the new traditions of rating the relative level of Shatner bloat and unofficially promoting the kitty litter of the future.

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Episode 18 - Tomorrow is Yesterday

Fri, 29 Jun 2018 22:14:50 GMT

Listen in this week as the Warped crew gives their salute to our boys in purple. We react to an early attempt at TV time travel with predictably spotty results. Kirk and his crew attempt a few infiltration and stealth tests and perform at a 5th grade level; meanwhile, we reminisce about our time on the pleasure planet Gemini 4.

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Episode 17 - Arena

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 23:23:00 GMT

On this week's episode, we get a new crewmember who brings a fresh take and a much-needed woman's perspective to the show.

The crew swoons at the twinkle in the Gorn's eyes and we all cheer for the cause of Gorn justice, while both the George Takei and Leonard Nimoy fan clubs get a new member.

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Episode 16 - The Squire of Gothos

Fri, 15 Jun 2018 20:57:56 GMT

This week on Warped, the crew gets upstaged by a plastic bag of chocolate fondu.

Everyone wistfully contemplates the well-endowed Cardiff Giant.

Our special guest performs his repertoire of animal noises in a bit some people would call 'alternative entertainment.' Just remember that we love you and that it can only get better from here.

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Episode 15 - The Galileo Seven

Fri, 08 Jun 2018 19:30:34 GMT

Join us this week as we discuss the virtues of beer, brace ourselves for a strong dose of space racism against Spock, and do our best to objectify Star Trek's male guest stars.

Matt and Shawn walk the movie beat with their "completely new" Special Guest and we come to the defense of the Irish, sort of.

All on the latest, Warped!

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Episode 14 - Shore Leave

Fri, 01 Jun 2018 19:06:30 GMT

The gang tries out some pseudonyms to enhance their image and mystique, but fail horribly.

Special Guest Randy Cockswain searches his feelings regarding The Last Jedi and cannot be stopped.

Emotions run high as we talk about the future of the Star Wars franchise on this episode of "Nihilism and Yoga Pants"... er, I mean Warped!

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Episode 13 - The Balance of Terror

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:33:04 GMT

This week, Matt introduces "Mattress Talk" and gives a glimpse at the future of the podcast.

We find out what Melanie Griffith and Romulans have in common and which is the most racist Star Trek race.

The guys also discuss rapey Hollywood stars and the phrase "open the kimono" on an all-new episode of Warped.

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Episode 12 - The Conscience of the King

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:31:44 GMT

Today the guys find out what would have happened if Hitler had escaped and became a famous actor.

We say goodbye to Yeoman Rand, ask "who drinks milk that way", and we also reveal our connection to an A-list actor.

We also fall to pieces and tear at the fabric of society when Shawn says "big muff", all on another episode of Warped.

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Episode 11 - The Menagerie (Parts I & II)

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:29:19 GMT

In this episode of Warped, we channel the spirit of Gene Roddenberry.

Captain Kirk finally has some competition for hunkiest Starfleet officer, and Shawn jumps at the chance to take the blue pill.

The crew rants about easy acting gigs, some of which you won't be able to hear, because recording things is hard. (We'll get it right eventually, we promise.)

Warning: this episode may give you a case of Space AIDS, which is not a real thing.

(Audio Commentary for Part II begins @ 51:37.)

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Episode 10 - The Corbomite Maneuver

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:26:35 GMT

Star Trek does a bottle episode and the guys talk about REO Speedwagon and Tony Bennett.

Shawn gives his review of The Orville. We also ask what’s in the gelatinous cubes and why couldn’t Clint Howard use his own voice.

All on today's serving of that yeasty spread we like to call Warped.

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Episode 9 - Dagger of the Mind

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:24:30 GMT

How does the transporter work? How small is space? Where should the hands go during a mind meld?

On another episode of Warped, the guys answer these questions and discuss actors dealing with sci-fi, the deficiencies of certain crew members, and how happy we are that they still celebrate Christmas in the future.

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Episode 8 - Miri

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:23:03 GMT

On this episode, Matt offers his opinion on Seth McFarlane.

Also, the guys find a new favorite character, ask why Rob Zombie loves Michael Myers so much, and discuss another Podcast-worthy TV show... all on a new episode of Warped.

Also, we can’t get over the creep factor in this episode.

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Episode 7 - What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:21:37 GMT

On this episode of Warped, the guys learn that Shawn has a type, and they’ll never match up to Captain Kirk.

They discuss the similarities between Gene Roddenberry and Joss Whedon, get fixated on Kirk's Nipples, and a certain character's costume.

They also answer the musical question: why are there no hot male guest stars on Star Trek?

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Episode 6 - Mudd's Women

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:19:07 GMT

Warped finally gets a full title on this new episode.

The gentlemen discuss the inexplicable popularity of a character, as well as his chest hair. Shawn pays homage to his childhood dentist, while Matt adds a new running segment to the show. They introduce the name of their favorite recurring character as well and add their voice to the #metoo campaign.

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Episode 5 - The Enemy Within

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:17:53 GMT

In this episode of Warped, we get a glimpse behind the curtain as Matt and Shawn tell a story from their youth.

The guys also discuss the Starfleet Human Resources Department, as well as standard-issue mirrors. They also answer the question: does Kirk wear cover-up?

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Episode 4 - The Naked Time

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:16:06 GMT

As loyal crew, we do our duty and hand-wave logic errors with chants of "It's the future". Shawn and Matt reminisce about the infamous sketch comedy troupe, Piso Mojado. Everyone fails to suspend their disbelief over the presence of some medical spray bottles.

Join us as we jump to the left and step to the right, in this week's episode of Warped.

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Episode 3 - Where No Man Has Gone Before

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:14:21 GMT

In this episode, the Warped crew laments the loss of ladies' pants. Matt reflects on the poor quality of the actor's union and cosmetic eye contacts in the 1960's. Shawn reminds us that any godlike entity can be destroyed with a sufficiently large rock.

All as we sit down to watch the historic 2nd Pilot of the Original Series.

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Episode 2 - Charlie X

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:12:55 GMT

In this week's episode of Warped, Shawn can’t remember the word "pecs" and admits to watching the Big Bang Theory.

Matt recalls the training of an actor, explains what happens to Yeoman Rand, and does his MLK Jr. impression.

Also we discuss why being sent to the cornfield isn't as bad as it sounds and which country’s Thanksgiving is being celebrated.

All on an improbable 2nd episode of: Warped!

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Episode 1 - The Man Trap

Sun, 27 May 2018 21:02:36 GMT

Hosts Matt and Shawn introduce the show along with guest host Jake and another 'special' guest.

On this episode, we learn that velour and gelatinous, colored cubes are the fabric and food of the future, respectively.

Shawn refers to Swahili as a country, and Matt finds the name of his memoir.

All on the first episode of Warped.

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