Kinks. Edging. Addiction. We live in a society. And Blake is ruining it. Diagnosis... ABC medlery. This episode, Katie bids farewell to a fan favorite and trims the drama, but is it enough? Let's discuss.

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Again Blake is the worst. First solo date with a Canadian, group commiseration, deep V's, aggressive bunny farm men play foobasketball? Join us on this lame episode.

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We do not like Blake. In our professional opinion, that guy sucks, and we demonsterize his character for probably 20% of the episode. In other news, Thomas gets sent packing, and hopefully Blake isn't far behind him. It also appears that next week, Hunter mortally injures someone? Hopefully Blake.

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Karl gets b-b-b-booted! DILF Michael takes the lead. And Thomas sucks? However... as much as we appreciate everyone ganging up on him, and as much as we're looking forward to his public execution... we'd rather spend time with Katie and the other mature and secure adults who are making this season so fucking wholesome. Crack a morning beer and talk about your feelings. The doctors are in.

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Aaron and Cody scramble to hide their dark secret. The virgin Mike gets a good edit. And the spineless Karl almost ruins everything else. Diagnosis: we love that. Slip into your fursuit with a hot glass of milk and relax. We're going to get you the help you need.

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Another victim eludes Jeff's RV of terror, the Cat-Man gets a rose, and we find out what's in the box... and it's only night one! The doctors are pumped (full of Ketamine and rosé) for Katie's season of The Bachelorette. Won't you come party with us?

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Episode zero! What cruel creatures we be on the internet. Marvel as 2 doctors of brainology and depression deconstruct the lives of 28 strangers, before they humiliate themselves for a national audience! We like to party.

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Episode zero! What cruel creatures we be on the internet. Marvel as 2 doctors of brainology and depression deconstruct the lives of 28 strangers, before they humiliate themselves for a national audience! We like to party.

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Episode zero! What cruel creatures we be on the internet. Marvel as 2 doctors of brainology and depression deconstruct the lives of 28 strangers, before they humiliate themselves for a national audience! We like to party.

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After being duped into airing an extremely personal family grievance on ABC, only to have them edit it without context, Matt James found himself in a cabin with 30 sticks of butter, a milk bath, and some shrubs for young lovers to whack one another with. Twas fantasy suite week, and surely this was his only opportunity to bone 3 hotties within the same week. Do you love that? Well... thanks for sharing. The doctors are in, and we're ready to end this thing.

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The unceremonious crumbling of the franchise continues with Women Tell All. We get a glimpse of fun lighthearted moments that didn't air, and a bitter reminder of whatever the hell we actually got. We are watching a game, but will anyone really win? ABC will! (Side bar, remember Peter's season, when it looked like all the women were going to strike, in protest of what a shitty bachelor he was? That's all.)

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Matt continues to laugh maniacally, while genuine opportunities for human connection and romance slip through his fingers like powdered bones. Will the wife experiment fail spectacularly... again? Will Matt tank 3 fantasy suites, hop the fence, grow a beard, and live as a recluse in the woods? We try and elaborate on these points, but we're truly running out of shit to say. Your move "Women Tell All."

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Guess who strings along Abigail all season before unceremoniously deciding to be "honest" with her? Guess who doesn't have a 5 year plan? I'll give you a hint: An adrenaline junky who loves to push the limit. This episode was a massacre, and you know what that means? More dating prospects for Dr. Zach and Aloe Blacc. Hop in and buckle up future comrades! It's all downhill and bumpy, but we're still having fun.

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How does a real professional doctor like Zach find a good psychologist? Crack open a Zima and let's rap about it chief. We'll tell you how we really feel about Heather and then deduce who Matt is truly in love with. Guest appearance from someone in Wade's kitchen.

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The conspiracy episode. We have hard proof that Matt James is a robot-alien or something. Also, Matt drains the swamp sort of, but new villains rise up. In what context is it ok to call the Mandalorian a "ho"? You will find out. We dive so deep into bachelor nation gossip, that we had to split it into a 2 parter.

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The conspiracy episode. We have hard proof that Matt James is a robot-alien or something. Also, Matt drains the swamp sort of, but new villains rise up. In what context is it ok to call the Mandalorian a "ho"? You will find out. We dive so deep into bachelor nation gossip, that we had to split it into a 2 parter.

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Katie wins at life, but can she win at reality tv? Victoria's eye infection is... less noticeable, but her bully infection is contagious. And 5 new ladies crash the party, taking up valuable reel estate on Matt's love radar. Speaking of reel estate... that's something that we do this episode. So if you're the kind of person who likes to have fun, put on a squirrel costume and listen to us dissect an episode that we were totally paying attention to.

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You see the thing about the bachelor is that you never know what you are going to get? Am I a villain are you the villain? Is it Victoria? Or is it Sarah? Talk about a nothing episode that had the fewest dates I have ever seen. The saving grace: Chris has a romance novel that says the sexiest word known to man: buttocks. Katie is a hero and the house gets angry.

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THE DATES BEGIN! Not everyone gets one! Is Wade sick? Who knows! What we do know is that Victoria suxxxxxxxxxxx end the drama now. Remove this Clare ASAP.

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The world is crazy but at least there is the bachelor! Matt James wow'd us, every gimmick went home, and there is real heart here. What an exciting season! Cannot wait for more!

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dear zac i swear to god if you dont treat him right i am going to find you in newark! But boy what a ride I am so happy it ended well! Can't wait for Matt!

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Today we have a VERY special guest! It's our number one fan! Claudia has arrived! The doctors finally get a female perspective on the show. We discuss the fantasy suites all three of them. Nothing says love like an airstrem, an ice bath, and being visibly shaken by the corpse of Neil Lane.

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You see the thing about hometowns in 2020 is that you cannot go to the hometown. And if you were unclear on that Chris spends 3 minutes explaining that for no one. That being said we go to "Newak" "Venice Beach" a "Home" and a "Carnival." Most of this episode is really sweet and cute, truly, this is the best final four we have ever had. We lose a man who cannot show emotion but that doesn't stop us from shit stomping and piling on. Many hot takes in this ep especially about food.

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Tayshia whittles the herd down to the hometown 4, and the MEN TELL ALL! We're talking Kenny's boner. Yosef's crucifixion. Green juice. The Noah / Bennett rivalry concludes, and the winner is all of us. We break it down AT LENGTH as we speed to the electrifying final act of this TAYsty season.

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This week not is all as it seems! What's in the box? Tayshia handles business as per usual with someone like her. We forget Jojo is here! And she whiffs telling us when the final rose is which was really quite confusing. Hometowns are right around the corner so bring out the hatchets and the tissues! There is also some piñata smashing! FUN!

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A wonderful week for Bachelor fans unless you like a regular episode that culminates in a rose ceremony! Tayshia has a great time with multiple dudes! There's a verbal boy fight between two grown men who see each other as boys but one sees the other as more of a boy and the other sees the other as a degrading older boy and Tayshia thinks that they are both boys and are engaged in the behavior of boys regardless of age! Also, someone gets EAZILY sent home after a date that is so dumb when you consider the framework of the show! We have a good time! Enjoy!

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This week on The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart... I mean, this week on Fear Factor... I mean... Do you ever wonder what it would be like to accidentally drink wine with Chris Harrison in a hotel room at 2AM? This ep has it all! New front-runners. Mountains of ice cream. Hard hitting social commentary. A NEW rivalry reaches a boiling point, foreshadowing the inevitable "3 WAY BEEF DATE" that captivates us every season. The rose ceremony is a massacre! Grab a raspberry bull testicle smoothie and take a ride with us as we break it down. 

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The heat is on this week, as many of the test subjects start to lose their cool in the battle for Tayshia's heart. We find out whether a "grown-ass-man" needs math and literacy skills. If the quest for knowledge isn't manly enough for you, we've got straight up cage fights! Bodies are greased, mustaches are shaved, rivalries flair, villains are born, and Tayshia makes out with everyone. We love that!

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It finally happened. Tayshia is our new bachelorette and we can all exhale. Biggest takeaway: wow! This is what this show should be about! Complete joy is had all around. Group dates, front runners, and villains! This one has it all. Even the most judicious and understanding adult interaction I have ever seen on this show. This is now a season to root for love! Oh happy day! If you were looking for snark here: nope, not this time, not this ep.

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Guess what team?! It's over. It's finally over. Take a deep a breath and it is dawn look to the east! And no I am not talking about the election I am talking about the absolute shit storm that was / is(?) Clare as the Bachette. In this episode: Clare does the most dramatic, most unprecedented, never EVER ever never ever seen before thing that the Bachelor franchise has ever seen. Does that make sense? Doesn't matter it's over. Star of the show: Chris Harrison and his acting. Pure bliss. Also, anecdotally we think Dale is a good dude. Do you see it lasting? Send us an email at ILoveThatBachelor@gmail.com

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It is the third episode of preseason bachelorette with our contestant from seasons past because, "Didn't you see my on Juan Pablo's??" is BACK and it is not going well by and metric. Yosef makes a great point but twists the knife, producers get Dale into every situation, someone counted and Dale was said 114 times in total for a rate of 1.14 DPM (Dale's per minute), men are sloughed off and left wondering, "how can i be Dale?" The main takeaway here is Tayshia is certainly going to be here next week and that is great news because it will be Clare's final episode. We left this episode wondering? What if we let Venezuela and Bolivia run the bachelor would it be more like Love Island? Tune in and find out!

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It is the second episode of preseason bachelorette with our favorite licensed cosmetologist - er I mean therapist. What a ride. Do you like childhood trauma shared on national tv? Do you want to discuss awkward displays of the male body? How about a trip to Chateau Bennét? We do it all on the second episode of Clare's doomed and ill fated season from the start. I think she had a monkey's paw and used all the wishes. I Dale say it might end an engagement.

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The boys are back in town except it isn't Los Angeles, it is a BUBBLE in La Quinta! Clare begins her journey for the fifth time and it seems like it is over before it starts. The powers that be, no not the producers this time, but rather some subterfuge for Clare-ity, have predisposed our love lost and now struck lead. This all sounds great doesn't it? Well your doctors are exceedingly rusty at podcasting but we had a good time hopefully you do too as you slough through our troubled first episode back. See ya next week when all expecTayshians are potentially thrown out the window.

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It's finally over! All children need boundaries with their parents. Still holding out hope Tayshia is the bachelorette. Well its been real and its been fun but it hasn't been real fun. See you guys next time, maybe sooner. At least "its almoooooost PAIR uh DIIIIIICEEEEEE"

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It's the worst episode on the worst season but don't worry it's the viewers' fault for being mean on the internet. This week we find out ABC is a bunch of cowards, there is little Women Telling All, maybe the young generation should stop playing on their phones on the weekends and go outside, also Pete cut Vicky F., we also address bullying.

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This week Peter's mettle is tested. Madi drops a bombshell that we knew was coming. Hannah Ann comes off sincere and Vicky F. has a reasonably cordial time with Peter. But most importantly does any of it matter? Is this all a ruse? Does Peter find love? Who knows?! CHRIS HARRISON DOES!

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This week Peter sends home the wrong woman. There are more red flags and teaars from Vicky F. Something tells me this still is not going to end well for Petey guys. Listen as we discuss dad's really grilling Peter like some brats.

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Amo eso Bachelor in Peru! Nosotros estamos en Peru! This week we iscuss the effects of Peter's phlebotomy at high altitude. Will Hannah Ann pass the midterm? Is Vicky F. even really into him? She can't seem to get sent home despite her efforts.

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On this double episode we are flying high like in a plane, you know the type of thing Peter works in. Mass hysteria. Many mental breakdowns are had, a 2 on 1 date remember those? Those were fun. Kelsey breaks the show and Peter rewards drama ... again. Also, if you want to watch a man pushing thirty try to wrench out love and acceptance from women who clearly don't like him then tuuuuuune in. It's like finding out about how kids are created for the first time and you can't see your parents same - not that Madison would know.

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Peter's anterograde amnesia continues to baffle us. Vicky F navigates a producer gauntlet, and the girls talk about unionizing. How many beauty queens is too many, Alayah? We WILL find out.

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Champagne gate continues. Syd and Alayah throw (stones) pillows. An actual rose ceremony at the end. Jesus guys we might have some semblance of a show! Also: Peter may or may not have been crying before the "pool party."

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Pilot puns. Windmill sex jokes. Bullies. Producers breaking the show before it starts. Watch Peter (haunted by the specter of Hannah Beast) kamakazi a small plane into all of our hearts. This season on The Good Doctor… 

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It is the end and we ge to see the conlcusions to all the fabricated plot lines. Blake takes on the hot seat and has to apologize even though everyone involved kind of sucks. We see some proposals and some fails and not all of either last! Do you JPJ DIDNT KNOW TAYSHIA WAS COMING?! Who knows! Find out!

We will also be back with something new once we decide on it!

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This week we are almost done. JPJ and Tayshia get so freaking cute, god I love them (does it last?), Clay shows his (lack of) backbone! Dylan and Hannah say the L word and no its not Kristian and Demi but they too go through problems similar to the L word. Also: does Chris love Katie? Does Katie love Chris? Man who knows! But we can all agree Blake sucks.

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This week we succomb to the dreary drip that is the slog of the second to last week of Paradise. AMIRITE GUYS?! Oy. Have you ever watched molasses race syrup? Syrup wins and in this episode we see Clay break down, Angela play games and oh wait so does Blake. Dylan and Hannah are boring and Dean returns so there are at least some flies in our sugar. Shoe fly and lets figure out who the next Bachelor is.

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The mayor of Paradise has been banished, resulting in pure anarchy! This episode Dr. Zach returns and there is more of it all: Deans moustache haunts the rose ceremony, JPJ goes off the rails, and flames old and new lay waste to the wedding between a "fitness" instructor and the Goose.

Deans moustache haunts the rose ceremony, JPJ goes off the rails, and flames old and new lay waste to the wedding between a "fitness" instructor and the Goose.

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The mayor of Paradise has been banished, resulting in pure anarchy! This episode has it all: girl-fights, self sabotage, and the baffling and controversial apex of The Demi Show. While Dr. Zach roams the pottery graveyards of Crete, Dr. Wade is again joined by Shannon Locke to explore this cold and unforgiving abyss. Triggers, be warned.

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In this episode, two bad dogs face the consequences of their agro BS, Hannah G tries to resolve her love triangle, and the Beast is back! While Dr. Zach is in Crete (studying the conditions of Hannah B's mental breakdown), Dr. Wade is joined by Shannon Locke to deconstruct the madness.

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In this episode, we learn more about Hannah, there's a cliff-hanger, and no rose ceremony. WE ARE JAZZED!

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In this episode it is the first rose ceremoon and WE ARE JAZZED!

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In this episode it is the first week and WE ARE JAZZED!

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In this episode it is the FINALE!

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In this episode it is the Boys Tell All! Luke P gets ripped a new one! Also! ITS ALMOST PARADISE!

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In this episode ITS Fantasy Suites! Hannah B invites Jed, Peter, Luke, and Tyler to fantasy suits! Buckle up kids part deaux it gets INTENSE.

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In this episode ITS HOMETOWNS! Hannah B visits Jed, Peter, Luke, and Tyler's hometowns and meets the parents! Buckle up kids.

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In this episode its again its more Luke P madness, they're in Amsterdam! Does Luke P finally go home? Jesus.

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In this episode its more Luke P madness, a naked one on one with Garrett, and Peter n Hannah get steamy.

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In this episode Hannah drags out the one on one date with Luke P and the ep rounds out after much ado about nothing with an unprecedented clip show.

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The dudes from Who Needs Friends and Stay Cool 4Ever breakdown that dumpster fire of American Exceptionalism that is their favorite reality show, The Bachelor and all of its iterations. We will be taking a bleak weekly look at each weeks iteration of exploitable millennials trapped in an operant conditioning chamber WARNING: WE ARE DOCTORS OF BRAINOLOGY AND DEPRESSION.

In this episode Hannah takes the men to Scotland there are a couple one on dates (Mike and Luke P), Highlander games group date, and surprise Luke P continues to meltdown and the fourth and NOT the fifth rose ceremony take place.

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In this episode Hannah takes the men on a couple dates, someone goes to the hospital, and Luke P continues to meltdown and we go through the fourth rose ceremony.

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In this episode Hannah takes the men on a couple dates, gets sick, and has a tailgate and we go through the third rose ceremony.

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In this episode Hannah meets the men and we go through the second rose ceremony.

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In this episode Hannah meets the men and we go through the first rose ceremony.

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In this episode we meet the men for Alabama Hannah.

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