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The reason why Rebecca is here today is because we’re going to talk about LIFE CHANGE and she has been through some stuff and come out stronger.

Rebecca has been a professional in the food service industry for over 20 years. Currently, she is the chef/owner of a mobile kitchen called Street Chefs, the Food Service Director of the Big Bend Homeless Coalition at the HOPE Community and the Founder/Instructor of the REfire Culinary program.

Today’s show is called STARTING OVER and it’s all about life transformation. Well, we’re going to dip our toe in life transformation. It’s a big subject, and we only have an hour.

Today’s topic is a little extra though, because we’re discussing starting over after a big life event, specifically, incarceration. We’re going to hear from Rebecca about how her experiences led her towards a refire of her life, and into a business venture that is helping others.

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Today’s show is called SORRY / NOT SORRY and it is all about not feeling sorry for having great ideas.

Have you ever started an email with, “I’m sorry for the delayed response…” or , “pardon the delay…” Or been in a conversation with someone who says, “Someone may have already said this, but…” or “I’m not an expert, but…”

Have you noticed how many times during the day you apologize as part of your communication style? Our program today is about our habit of pre-apologizing, over-apologizing, and how to adopt confident communication strategies.

My guests are uniquely prepared to speak on the subject.

As vice president of the Tallahassee-based integrated communications firm The Moore Agent, Nanette manages projects and inspires people to solve the problems and create success.

Nanette has a degree in communications from Florida State University and has honed her expertise in public affairs, legislative affairs and media relations. During her nearly 20 years with Moore, she has managed award-winning campaigns for clients ranging from law enforcement to the medical industry.

She is also honored to serve as a member of the Bradfordville Volunteer Fire & Rescue Department.

Dr. Gabrielle K. Gabrielli is an award-winning author and consultant who is also a leadership guru John C. Maxwell certified coach, speaker, and trainer. Gabrielle Consulting, Inc. helps people and organizations clarify and achieve their goals through strategic planning, goal setting, and developing their leadership skills. She also heads a non-profit called Life Worth Leading that uses SCUBA to help people tap into their unique strengths.

And, I’m going to get coachy on ya with some tips for feeling better about not being sorry.

Let's get into it!

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In this episode, that person is Mikaya Warren, Executive Director of Sickle Cell 365, and we are going to talk about resilience - that element of life that helps us bounce back from adversity and stay energetic even when we are going through tough times.

But we’re not talking about resilience for everyday life - as if that isn’t challenging enough. Today’s show is called RESILIENCE EVEN THOUGH, and we are talking about staying energetic and positive even though you are dealing with a chronic illness or caring for someone who is.

Stay with us as we learn about the power of resilience and how we can conjure it up on demand. Then, we’ll hear about how Mikaya’s life experiences have helped her develop some resilience skills. We’re going to hear about Sickle Cell 365, an organization that addresses a chronic illness, and talk about how we can all support those in our lives who deal with chronic pain or disease every day, and their caregivers.

And, I’m going to get coachy on ya with some tips for developing your own resilience super powers.

Are yall ready? Let’s get into it.

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The problem? That feeling when you sign up to do something and then you think, “THIS ISN’T ME AT ALL!” 

We’re going to hear from Inger about how she jumped into entrepreneurship as a woman of color in a male-dominated field and how she works with women to help them build wealth.

Then we’re going to meet Kylene, back from a backpacking trip that took her way out of her comfort zone and into a new level of confidence and curiosity about what her limits really are.

And, I’m going to get coachy on ya with some tips for telling that voice of self-doubt to get lost. 

Are y'all ready? Let’s get into it.

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It’s going to be a fun show. Each week there will be guests, stories, games, and even some audience participation.

I promise to always bring you something to talk about, something to think about, and hopefully something to do something about!

Today’s show is called GO BOLDLY. And yes, it’s taken from the famous quote by Henry David Thoreau, although that’s not actually what he said. 

There are a few versions of his words, the most common of which being “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.” 

I always thought he said go BOLDLY, but now I know that I had Thoreau mixed up with Captain Kirk. 

But it’s my show and I can do whatever I want. So today, we are channeling both Thoreau and Captain Kirk and going BOLDLY in the direction of our dreams!

But who can go boldly or confidently on their own? No one! That is why I have a guest with me today. Christic Henry is a neighborhood and community advocate that is a driving force for Tallahassee. 

Today we're going to talk about:

• What do you think it means to live boldly or with intention?
• Has there ever been a time when you remember feeling, hearing, or just knowing your purpose in life?
• Why do you think people hold themselves back from bold living?
• What has been a powerful benefit of living boldly and with intention?
• What drives you to pursue your vision for life?

Let's get into it.

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Thanks for listening!

...Until Next Time!

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In housekeeping, we deliver some big news about the upcoming show schedule. Season Three is nearing its close, and the ladies are taking a PROPER summer break. Tune in to find out when we will be back. 

Here’s a link to a cool new cozy clothy brand Chryssy discovered. It’s even better because it’s owned by a friend of a friend. www.publicrec.com

Heather has some fun stuff on the social media pages. Head over to see some funny videos and pics. 

Until next time!

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Chryssy encourages us to watch a series she is enjoying so much that she's enjoyed it twice. Have you ever watched a series more than once??

Today's Grab Bag talks about America's great need for signage and direction - and how annoying that is. We discuss our feelings on Pepe Le Pew and Turner Classic Movies as well!

Of course, there's a touch of light hearted homework, and a 3 minute-ish 5 Minute Flip!

Tune in for the fun!

Until next time...

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So Heather has a question for Chryssy: "What are you doing New Year’s Eve???"

This episode is about checking in for a moment to see if 2021 is going the way you want it to. Are you steering the ship or just along for the ride? Are you living in a way that will have you feeling satisfied on the last day of it? It is never too late to start, so get going!

And while we're on the subject, Heather is curious to know if Chryssy has a bucket list. We talk about what is in our buckets, share listener feedback, and speculate on whether their friend Alan can make Heather's bucket list wish come true.

And what about your "rhymes with bucket" list? In the Grab Bag we talk about what we and our listeners are OVER worrying about!

Sources:

https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/research/surveys_statistics/life-leisure/2017/aarp-travel-bucket-lists.doi.10.26419%252Fres.00151.001.pdf

https://www.provisionliving.com/news/survey-reveals-whats-americas-bucket-list

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Chryssy did some google searching of HERSELF this week, and remembered some old jobs that she had forgotten she ever held. She’s made a quiz for Heather today – “Did I have this job?” Tune in to hear some doozies. 

Do you think Chryssy played flute in an orchestra? That she mismanaged two swimming pools? That she taught Spanish in Puerto Rico while unable to speak it? That she taught classes at an online college? You can find out here! 

We think Heather might share some fun old jobs with us on a future episode. We certainly hope so!

Chryssy recommends a look back on the jobs that helped you grow. She wants you to share your stories with your friends and your children and OF COURSE – us! Head on over to the social media and tell us about something you did before whatever power career you’re in now.

Heather’s 5-minute flip is cut short because the girls fear Jon’s scary one minute warning, but not before the show offers up some homework.

Clean up your resume. Dig into the themes of your past work and the values important to you in a job. Make changes as needed to get you where you want to go. We are now heavy into spring, the time of year ripe with possibility. Reflect on your past and go make your future dreams come true.

Until next time.

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In our shameless attempt to be sure you don’t miss an episode, and to entice you to go back and listen again, we’re reviewing topics like book club, hot guys, art busses, COVID vaccines and more. 

Need the scoop on what’s on Heather’s browser or what comedy special you should watch this week? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Curious to know why these millennial kids are hating on our old lady clothes? We will see if Bobby knows.

It’s a fun romp through a lot of different nonsense this week. We’re glad you’re with us! 

Until next time!

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So, we have a special guest - Tristan Ragland, an exercise physiologist whose doctoral study Heather signed up for in hopes that he would reveal the secret to fast fat loss.

We ask him all of our getting-old-sucks questions: cardio or weights? How much protein? Why is it so hard to lose weight as we get older? And what about gaining and losing weight after weight loss surgery? Tristan does his best to let us down gently,

And, we introduce a new segment: the Five-Minute Flip. You'll have to tune in to hear what Chryssy's been dying to talk about all week! 

Until next time....

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-writers-block-with-bobby-brown-jr/id1547488482

...until next time!

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Have you gotten your COVID vaccine yet? Not eligible? You may be and not know it! Heather is, and she got it. But, not before hearing a bunch of people talk about how much they're overthinking it. Who should get the vaccine first: a smoker or someone with a genetic disorder? Should anyone feel guilty for getting it when someone else they know can't yet? We talk about vaccine guilt, and the layers of thought that go into - or don't - getting a shot in the arm.

Oh and here are Heather's sources:

https://www.vogue.com/article/covid-19-vaccine-bmi-qualifier

https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2021-03-08/guilt-envy-distrust-vaccine-rollout-breeds-mixed-emotions

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Do you have generational pride? Or do you feel like you belong in a different generation entirely? We have a quiz today and Chryssy discovers she is a lot more mature than she thought.

You can do the quiz too, but since Heather is a Boomer in a Gen X body, you have to print out this pdf and fill it out with a pen and then add up the points to get your results: https://diversity.missouristate.edu/assets/diversityconference/Generational_Personality_Quiz_Handout.pdf

But when it really comes down to it, every generation has things they contribute to the world and ways that they annoy everyone. Do you relate to our list of pet peeves through the generations? 

Until next time...

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Chryssy has been holding open tabs on her cell phone of interesting things she wanted to talk

to Heather about. It’s a little like Heather’s Headlines, only coming from Chryssy’s perverted

and curious brain. Chryssy thought about grouping them – COVID stories, funny stories, etc. But

instead, we discuss them in the order they appear in her browser!

Here are today’s topics:

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/01/pandemic-goodbye-casual-

friends/617839/?fbclid=IwAR1WVYoj7H8Edj_cCR7vM_OT41_lUHmSRfKOa8N4Q1OAaiknhL4aY

Mhlvkg

This is the story Chryssy mentioned a couple weeks ago – and we’ve finally a chance to discuss.

All those peripheral “friendships” are important to our mental health, and the pandemic

changes that.

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/entertainment/2021/02/04/filmed-tallahassee-the-

waiting-gets-screening-cmx-cinemas-wakulla-

lodge/4374321001/?fbclid=IwAR2M1stg53qZB5v50dlBuurhj4ba_XsqfFxyQG88px63Y3GlluSOb8

bqk_o

Chryssy and her kids went to this movie, and it was a pretty good time. A little something for

the locals!

https://www.economist.com/1843/2020/02/20/between-the-spreadsheets

If you read only one of these articles, make it this one.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/giving-up-alcohol-in-the-era-of-covid-19-

11612587660?mod=e2fb&fbclid=IwAR0hm6nVy4yBMETuPGyjwzOkEIEDftybcBnwvQ2deaLVV-

9fA2bqnMDt_YA

Many people are choosing to drink less instead of more in the pandemic. Let’s discuss.

https://www.npr.org/2021/02/09/965791252/fbi-called-in-after-hacker-tries-to-poison-tampa-

area-citys-water-with-

lye?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=np

r&fbclid=IwAR0COI0JMLzVi8tkZ5VHJrFv7H3xWJv7TJFQdD0lEYriHPhPYQRG9VLzqK8

This one is a doozy! We didn’t know this was possible!

https://www.economist.com/prospero/2021/02/01/when-the-police-came-for-anastasia-

vasilyeva-she-played-beethoven?utm_campaign=editorial-social&utm_medium=social-

organic&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR24JUPjEWOZ5jAeNyf1ShxdNC4WSD7nG57HP_YsY

Hlrv6IrMOnjOdLvE14

This one and the next are just observationally interesting.

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/young-woman-in-kenya-makes-plastic-bricks-out-of-

recycled-waste/?fbclid=IwAR1sJ1IeXo37RV2Lg_A0ksmFnI4ANERN7QlOdWt-

uCxfk0Q7EGr3YRzr5nY

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/02/13/entertainment/chris-harrison-

the-bachelor-interview-trnd/index.html

You can count on the fact that The Bachelor is part of what Chryssy is reading about on any

given week.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/as-vaccines-raise-hope-cold-reality-dawns-covid-19-is-likely-

here-to-stay-11612693803?mod=e2fb&fbclid=IwAR3i4f4NsM0ZhYSCnSAL6-cbUdeQ79UOI-

FXGvYTvTLg0Ld8B3qMTSuJUY

A little depressing, but worth a chat.

https://www.wftv.com/news/local/covid-19-vaccine-trial-children-underway-lake-nona-heres-

how-sign-

up/K5WW7SCAIFDUZFV5WII7CD32V4/?fbclid=IwAR1rmdLIJPlDFE0iXw9UHm3Enp8HsNl9swTcB

sVO-B3hsX9b9vDgFfhYPkY

Would you put your child in a vaccine trial?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/article/coronavirus-travel-

restrictions.amp.html

We gotta get out of this place, if it’s the last thing we ever do . . . but where can we go!

We hope you enjoyed today’s romp through Chryssy’s cell phone! Remember, you can watch us

live on Monday around 9:15 AM on Facebook at How To Do Life with Chryssy and Heather.

Until next time!

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Heather is fresh off of vacation, where she stayed in a fancy house and went hiking and traveled along a snowy, slushy, rainy path to a house in the woods. She recommends it.

She hiked to a house once owned by the Walker Sisters, who resisted leaving their mountain homestead when the woods they lived in was being turned into the Smoky Mountain National Park. You can read about it here; https://www.nps.gov/grsm/learn/historyculture/walker-sisters.htm

Hiking and learning about the Walker sisters made Heather think of something else she recommends:  getting to know our special guest Carly Sinnadurai, the founder of The Sharing Tree. www.sharingtree.family

Today we talk about choices - especially the times when we have to make a choice to take a chance that can bring about a change. 

When have you wanted change bad enough to make the choice to take a chance? Listen today to discover how we have.

--

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She’s crabby and bitter and sick of being good to other people, and she needs Heather to convince her to keep making morally and ethically correct choices.

We have a recap of our goals, and the ladies are a little off track. It’s important to share when we’re off track, because we aren’t perfect, either. Pasta and bread have been swapped out, but cookies are making an appearance so it’s probably kind of defeating the purpose. Miles are not getting run. But we’re still taking vitamins!

Chryssy tells us about a fire ant emergency and miracle, and the ladies ponder how our brains can react so quickly in these events and perform so shittily in regular life. We recommend we all watch Surviving Death on Netflix and maybe talk about it in a little while.

Chryssy got a check in the mail, and it led to an existential crisis. Not really, but she kind of wishes it would have. 

If you were planning to watch “I Care A Lot” on Netflix, you should do that before you listen to this episode, because Chryssy completely spoils it.

The conversation today revolves about why we do right instead of wrong in our personal and professional lives. We talk about how we “know” what right is and how it feels to live with knowing you did right or wrong. We discuss a little bit of right FOR WHOM and how the collective “right” beats our personal desires sometimes. And how mad that makes Chryssy.

Speaking of right and wrong, make sure you pick up our new book club read, Defending Jacob by William Landay. There’s plenty of morality and loyalty to discuss here.

There’s some homework, and we hope it keeps you on the straight and narrow, even when the straight and narrow sucks.

Don’t forget you can find us Monday’s beginning around 9:45AM on Facebook Live at How To Do Life with Chryssy and Heather in addition to listening here!

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This book is a collection of short, family-themed stories, and Chryssy and Heather both really enjoyed it.

Big shout out and THANK YOU to Texas Tech, specifically the Humanities Center, for some of the questions and themes from today’s book club review.

Chryssy and Heather spend some time talking about their own family stories. How do these develop? What do they mean to the spirit of binding a family together? Take a moment to consider your family stories – where did they come from? Do the versions agree? It’s such a joy to walk down a collective memory lane.

We talk about the delicate balance between sadness and morbidity and downright humor in Sedaris’ writing. Why do you think humor is important in things that hurt and that we can’t understand? Let’s get into it.

We also talk a little bit about classical storytelling, oral tradition (which sounds so dirty! But isn’t.), and Truth with a capital T versus truth. 

Perhaps it’s because of Sedaris’ writing or perhaps it’s because Chryssy and Heather are such pros, but this episode is both deep and shallowly silly.

We announce our new book – and you won’t want to miss it. It’s a DIVE into psychology, nature versus nurture, family and loyalty, and WAY more. Listen in to find out what we are reading.

We’d love to hear what you thought of Calypso and how you feel about our next Book Club Choice – pop over to Facebook or Instagram for a visit, and tune into Facebook Live Monday Mornings around 9:45 to see our team in action.

Until next time.

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The gals are using President's Day as a reason to consider the cuteness of men. Which President do you think is the cutest? Check them out here:

https://hottestheadsofstate.com/us-presidents/

But yeah yeah they're cute and they were smart but you know, they were some weird dudes. https://247wallst.com/special-report/2019/02/12/the-weirdest-fact-about-every-american-president-2/2/

Thinking about the quirks of our forefathers put Heather in the mood for a look at our goals, so we take some time for How It Started / How It's Going.

Until next time...

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Brian is with us today for his last Top 10 appearance! The girls have some fun changes in store for Season 3 on the Top 10 front. We’ve loved having Brian with us throughout Season 2 and can’t wait to share what’s in store moving forward.

This year is all about goals, and we recap our promises to ourselves and others and how that’s going. We get to hear what Brian wants out of his year, too, and it’s fun to see how everyone is looking forward to and simply looking FORWARD in 2021.

We dream of where we’d like to go when we can go places again – what’s on your post-pandemic bucket list? We also give some tips on what to do when you have no positivity left in your broken soul and how to disagree with people respectfully and kindly. 

Speaking of dreaming of things, we’re still mooning over that Wonder Salad from Jeri’s Midtown Café, and Brian tells us a secret at Jeri’s that Jeri herself may or may not have wanted kept under wraps.

Coming up is Valentine’s Day, Calypso Book Club, new guests and segments (Heather is pondering both SPORTS and BEER as new HTDL territory), and much more excitement. Stay with us here on your favorite podcast app, and check us out Monday Mornings on Facebook Live at How To Do Life With Chryssy and Heather around 9:45AM

Until next time!

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https://blog.nationalgeographic.org/2013/02/06/true-or-false-10-mardi-gras-questions-answered/

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Chryssy discusses the logistics and branding of opening her son’s TOAST restaurant. Listen in to see if we convinced Jeri to be a partner. We also talked about the restaurant industry in the pandemic and got some interesting insight into both consumer and restauranteur behavior during these challenging times.

We have a goals update, and Jeri also shares hers with Chryssy and Heather. Fitness goals abound, and one of the ways to stay healthy is to eat clean. Don’t forget your homework, friends – which is simple today. Head over to Jeri’s and get yourself some fare to feed your belly and your soul.

Until next time!

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Part of what we've got is love to share with others, especially some of our gal-owned local businesses who are collecting feminine hygiene items for women in need. Did you know that tampons and pads are taxable items? We think that's messed up. We can't change the tax laws (yet) but we CAN help make sure all women have what they need, so we're going to this Amazon Wish List to pitch in.

Heather wants you to remember that February can also be all lovey-dovey for YOU to YOU! She's issued a self-care challenge for this month to make sure you are taking care of all five areas of self-care: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and social. Read more about them here: https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729

And follow us on Instagram!

Until next time.....

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In a GOALS update, Chryssy and Heather both want to make sure that any challenge they take on is an opportunity to learn about themselves and "level up." So Heather was curious to know about the sugar cravings she has noticed during Dry January. You can read the article they discuss here:

https://www.businessinsider.com/why-cutting-alcohol-makes-you-crave-sugary-food-2018-2

And in the Grab Bag, Heather wonders... speaking of going overboard with things, what makes a TV show binge-worthy? And, how can we make our lives binge-worthy? How can we make our habits - and the pursuit of our goals - binge-worthy?

https://comicyears.com/tv-shows/what-makes-tv-shows-binge-worthy/#:~:text=It%20became%20known%20as%20binge,consume%20it%20all%20at%20once

Until next time...

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We’re a little on the fly today, as Chryssy accidently deleted all her show pre-planning, but we hit some high notes regardless.

We talk about our goals and our book club read and then we get into what is sure to be the next huge NYC food phenomenon. Listen in to learn all about the best thing since sliced bread . . .

Chryssy brings us what would have been a purple lipstick show, had she cared about anyone else’s opinion. She doesn’t think the Bernie memes are funny and she and Heather debate the why of this. Chryssy calls the memes cheap and low brow and a bunch of other not particularly nice things. Who knew she was such an advocate for tradition and pomp and circumstance? Chryssy asks for privacy during this difficult time – as in, please don’t send her Bernie memes.

Head over to Facebook and Instagram to see all the exciting things happening on the show and to watch out livestream. There’s some pretty quality Salt&Pepa jams at the beginning. As always, you can also find us at chryssyandheather.com

Until next time!

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Heather is also excited because it is almost Mardi Gras, even though COVID has caused parades in New Orleans to be cancelled. So, Heather's hometown has gotten creative and this year is having Yardi Gras! Check out this link to see the fun ways people are decorating their houses:

 https://www.nola.com/multimedia/photos/collection_57b3b908-54fb-11eb-af5d-8b79d450f1c0.html?fbclid=IwAR08VaIos4NZyQFqfIcE-kZ4_qikg-i8zJyhcljsM1-3JWfbkLB-0MBZnf4#anchor_item_40

In a bit of a flashback, Heather quizzes Chryssy and Producer Jon on some 1918 slang. Can you guess what these words mean?

 https://www.npr.org/sections/npr-history-dept/2015/08/20/432382499/16-spiffy-words-college-students-used-in-1916

And in the Grab Bag, the gals talk about the pressure we have to be positive, and about the concept of toxic positivity. They want you to know that all vibes are welcome here, and have some helpful tips for changing your vibes if and when you want to.

Check it out: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/toxic-positivity-during-the-pandemic?fbclid=IwAR1rAXZMxb-WD5BFgGing6WFZEs9n7Mk71Wz2YRNopZSyyrgQHAxz9gORLc 

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The big question today is – WHAT UP, BELGIUM?? We’ve learned that we have more listeners in Belgium (after the good old U.S. of A.) than in any of the other over a dozen countries we are being heard. Belgium beats even Australia, where we know we have a mini fanclub in Shari and Denise! We’ve just gotta know – Belgium, who are you? Why do you like us? Can you send us chocolate? We want to be your friend. And we want to know our listeners better. That goes for the rest of you, too.

Chryssy introduces a new segment today! It’s called GOALS! Goals is all about, you guessed it, GOALS. The first episode of this new season, we set the intention that this is the year and the season for GOALS. We want to know yours. On the How To Do Life facebook page, you will find – pinned to the top! – our goals and a space for you to join the conversation. Head on over.

We hear an excerpt from Calypso, our current Book Club book. Make sure you’re keeping up on your reading. We’ve got a few weeks.

In the grab bag today, Chryssy wants us to really pause and think about how important local journalism is. Sometime in the future, she’ll be having one of the editors of her local paper in for further discussion. In the meantime, Tallahassee.com takes you to the site for Chryssy and Heather’s local paper and you can find some wonderful gems there (Like Bill’s column about the Trump Twitter ban, resources on area hiking trails, and more).

Your homework today is simple: Make a friend. Make a goal. Get your local paper. And go on Facebook and Instagram and tell us all about it.

Until next time!

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Heather brings some good news with a heartwarming story about a community that pulled together to save their local bar by buying all of the inventory. We're sure this was not at all related to the fact that the inventory was beer. You can read the whole story here:  https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/customers-buy-entire-beer-stock-at-swan-dive/

Heather suggests that the Senate and House of Representatives have a Secret Santa for the whole year to promote friendship and understanding. It's a great idea.

Speaking of shopping, Heather has swipe fatigue! She has been shopping way too much and that's made her curious to know about the shopping habits of Americans. 

Did you know that the average woman makes 301 trips to the store annually, spending close to 400 hours a year shopping? This amounts to 8.5 years spent shopping during a typical lifespan. (NY Daily News)

Despite economic turmoil, 41% of consumers say that the convenience of the shopping experience is more important than price. 47% said they will shop with important heritage or traditional brands that they want to see survive. 63% said they will shop more with retailers located nearby because they want them to stay open. Heather quizzes Chryssy about her shopping habits and doesn't judge her at all.

Do you have a goal to spend less this year? Tell us about it! Until next time....

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The show today is all about looking forward. We spent of lot of our time on this program reflecting on our pasts, but we’re ready for a new chapter. Brian had the great idea to think of springtime on our show today – renewal and regrowth and all that. Chryssy felt that was timely for a send off.

Our drink today, inspired by thoughts of spring, is the Lily. The Lily is the signature drink of the Kentucky Oaks, the horse race run the day before the Kentucky Derby. Listen in to learn a little history.

While we are on the subject of horses, our final Foreplay topic was a funny one. Chryssy and Brian speculate on what they would name their horse, should Not Quite Therapy raise a thoroughbred. The jokes extend all the way back to Episode 1, and we hope you enjoy remembering some of the funny moments with us.

As Brian says, “when you’re ready, you’re ready,” so foreplay is quick today and we move on into the Down and Dirty. Today we talk about our dreams for ourselves and our children as we move forward into the great ahead. There’s a little bit of choking up, so grab your tissues. 

We can’t end with an “Until next time,” because there won’t be a next time. But that breaks out hearts just a little, so we bid you an awkward goodbye and really don’t offer the smoothest ending. But that’s ok, when things we love end, goodbye is often hard.

Thank you for being part of our journey. We have simply loved entertaining you.

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2021 tried hard to hold on to 2020 throughout its first week with us. Chryssy and Heather are sure we can break free. Chryssy spoke to the universe on our collective behalf, and we learned it’s ok the be fragile. This was a tough pill to swallow, but it’s true, friends. Sometimes we are not strong. And that’s ok. Never fear – the only way out is up! And we are climbing.

We celebrate the Browns beating the Steelers. This has been the high point of 2021 so far. 

Chryssy shares with us an article about the bullshit of mindfulness in a pandemic. Here it is: https://www.economist.com/1843/2020/11/27/mindfulness-is-useless-in-a-pandemic

No, what we need now isn’t mindfulness, it’s hope. Chryssy recommends you go listen to Andra Day sing “Rise Up” if you need a boost. Be gentle with each other right now, please.

But also realize, friends, that extending ourselves a whole year of “grace” may have meant we slacked. It may have meant we allowed ourselves not to reach out goals. We gave ourselves permission to quit our routines, or gain weight, or not connect. Because 2020. 

And that’s fine. For a minute. But, it’s time. It’s time, people. That “grace period” can’t last forever. Make yourself some goals and get off your ass and after them. Let’s get into it.

Until next time.

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Remember how we thought this year was going to be so grand? But, truly, remember also that Chryssy came back from Spain for our first show of 2020 with a warning. The universe had spoken to Chryssy and had not been nice. And Chryssy knew she was in for a lot of adversity in 2020. She just had no idea what it would look like or that everyone else would face it, too!

But a New Year is upon us, and, come what may, it’s an opportunity for optimism. Chryssy encourages us to look back at those magic moments in life. To spend a little time reflecting on first words of our babies, and first kisses. Remember getting your license and saying your vows with that special someone. Here’s a list of some of life's regular bits of magic, to help remind you of all the good that’s happen and all there is to look forward to. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6190674/top-20-magical-moments-hearing-aid-hidden/

Your homework is to start the New Year feeling however you feel. Check in with the universe and see what she may have in store for you, and above all, look for joy.

Happy New Year! Until next time.

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Since it’s New Years Eve, we talk about the year in review - the best and worst in parenting, navigating divorce, and life in general. Chryssy and Brian spend a good deal of time telling each other how great they are, so their New Year is off to a good start.

Brian has been begging Chryssy to do an "Ask Us Anything” episode forever, and she finally caved. It led to a spirited conversation about their friendship and the origins of this show. Champagne has gone to their heads and there is some pretty honest conversation fit for a real therapy session.

We are hoping 2020 held more highlights than low lights for you, and we’re wishing everyone every success in the new year. We will be back ONE MORE TIME with our SERIES FINALE EPISODE. It will be very forward looking and we can’t wait to celebrate with you. 

Until next time.

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We struggle to make our sugar-plum-ridden minds compute toilet paper math, which was probably a bad decision considering we had already begun toasting to the end of the year with some crappy wine that Chryssy bought by accident.

Usually, Heather likes to end the show with something uplifting and inspirational, but in this case she reveals that Nostradamus has predicted a zombie apocalypse and killer comets for 2021. So stay tuned for that.

Until next time...

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And, Heather gets schooled on great movie sequels and manages to work in various poo references. There is something for everyone!

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Seeing as it’s Christmas Eve, the pair talk about their Christmas Eve traditions. They also talk about Elves on fire - you can find some pics from Chryssy and Brian’s actual lives on the How To Do Life Facebook page. There’s a couple poor little elves who have really been through it.

We take a spin into holiday gift giving for exes and family traditions and activities that are no more after divorce.

The down and dirty today focuses on dating and new relationships at the holidays. We talk about when it’s appropriate to jump ship during the holidays and what’s expected in gift giving and family gatherings with a new partner. 

Next week, on New Year’s Eve!, we will be having a lively round of Ask Us Anything. Then it’s just one more week to the Series Finale. We can’t wait for you to join us.

Until next time!

The Truth Is (New Year’s Day Show) HTDL

Happy New Year from the How To Do Life team! We are trying not to get too excited, but we are certainly ready to celebrate it NOT being 2020 anymore. 

Remember how we thought this year was going to be so grand? But, truly, remember also that Chryssy came back from Spain for our first show of 2020 with a warning. The universe had spoken to Chryssy and had not been nice. And Chryssy knew she was in for a lot of adversity in 2020. She just had no idea what it would look like or that everyone else would face it, too!

But a New Year is upon us, and, come what may, it’s an opportunity for optimism. Chryssy encourages us to look back at those magic moments in life. To spend a little time reflecting on first words of our babies, and first kisses. Remember getting your license and saying your vows with that special someone. Here’s a list of some of life's regular bits of magic, to help remind you of all the good that’s happen and all there is to look forward to. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6190674/top-20-magical-moments-hearing-aid-hidden/

Your homework is to start the New Year feeling however you feel. Check in with the universe and see what she may have in store for you, and above all, look for joy.

Happy New Year! Until next time.

NQT 15

Chryssy and Brian decide there is no other way to celebrate New Year’s Eve than with champagne. We spice it up by making it a poinsettia, which means adding some cranberry juice. We throw in a couple frozen raspberries for good measure. Today’s champagne comes from a can and packs a punch. We learn that one coke can is the size of half a bottle of wine. Who knew?

Since it’s New Years Eve, we talk about the year in review - the best and worst in parenting, navigating divorce, and life in general. Chryssy and Brian spend a good deal of time telling each other how great they are, so their New Year is off to a good start.

Brian has been begging Chryssy to do an "Ask Us Anything” episode forever, and she finally caved. It led to a spirited conversation about their friendship and the origins of this show. Champagne has gone to their heads and there is some pretty honest conversation fit for a real therapy session.

We are hoping 2020 held more highlights than low lights for you, and we’re wishing everyone every success in the new year. We will be back ONE MORE TIME with our SERIES FINALE EPISODE. It will be very forward looking and we can’t wait to celebrate with you. 

Until next time.

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Today also happens to be Book Club Day, and we talk about Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, and the impact it had on Chryssy.

Oprah helped us out with a few of the questions. And you can find even more here: http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/wild-by-cheryl-strayed-reading-group-guide/3

Listen in to be part of the discussion and to learn a little about our next book and how we chose it. It’s Calypso by David Sedaris.

Don’t forget to check us out on Facebook, where you can see the Christmas outfits we adorned today on the Live Replay. 

Until next time!

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If you need Heather on Wednesdays at 3pm, she will be busy with her Rockette dance lessons. Find out how you can join her.

If you still have some Christmas shopping to do, consider some butt butter. It's magical. Also, spend some time watching sequels to Christmas movies. She can especially recommend Christmas Chronicles 2, which Chryssy's kids should watch to supplement their religious education.

Have you told your kids the truth about Santa? He's real, just so you know. We encourage you to tell your children the lore of St. Nick as you gaze at the Christmas star on December 21. 

And until next time.....

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The drink this week is eggnog – of course there’s some bourbon in there. Chryssy takes hers in her coffee, which she doesn’t find novel at all, but it blows Brian’s mind. Listen in to hear Brian take it real raunchy real fast as he spills his eggnog.

During Foreplay, we talk about Brian’s bout with COVID. Then we revisit the Sinbad Genie Movie conspiracy and express fear over the world of deep fakes.

The Down and Dirty today is a big topic. We’re talking all things divorce and co-parenting over the holidays. Do we spend more money now? Do we have new traditions? Do the schedules go as we’d like? Why does Brian have a very unattractive Nativity? Why is Chryssy’s tree a fake?

It’s as uncomfortable and weird and wild as ever on this episode. And we’re happy to be with you again. Until next time.

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We talk about a local garden center in Tallahassee called Esposito’s, and a decision they made that led to the perfect blend between cancel culture and COVID Christmas changes. Oh, and Chryssy sings about the store.

Speaking of COVID Christmas changes, how’s it affecting you? The ladies talk about how it’s affecting them and some of their friends.

The holidays are upon us, so we kept it pretty quick and were sure to end it with a lovely, positive poem. Stay until the end to hear some words that might lift you up as you head into the second half of your week.

Until next time!

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Our drink today is . . . CHAMPAGNE. Of course it is. It’s a celebration. Chryssy brought the Veuve and Brian brought the old timey glasses.

In Foreplay today, we mix things up a bit, putting our topic that would usually be the Down and Dirty in the Foreplay spot. We offer a sneak peek to next season, as we talk about summer vacation schedules, weekly traditions, and new traditions we’ve started since divorce (or old ones we’ve carried on).

The Down and Dirty today involves Chryssy sharing how she’s been setting intention and making space for new relationships. We talk a little about this article (https://www.thelawofattraction.com/6-physical-steps-to-attract-love-right-now/ - it’s pretty hokey but hopefully offers up the basic intention) and Chryssy shares with us here the link to a piece she wrote a while ago called The Dream Man List (https://psiloveyou.xyz/the-dream-man-list-f210ff301c8d). She suggests you know what your needs are in a partner, and that when you set those intentions in the back of your mind, you have an easier time weeding out potential partners who don’t fit the bill.

There’s also a nice talk about lingerie and dresses and bedsheets. And there’s Yoda impressions. Producer Jon’s is better than Brian’s but both provide Chryssy with some much needed laughter.

Brian has two book recommendations for you today, the first is Atomic Habits by James Clear and the second is How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams.

As the show goes on hiatus until fall, we ask you to spend the off week’s evaluating your relationships, what you want from them, and whether you are setting aside the intention and space to allow them to grow. 

Chryssy and Brian have loved sharing a little bit of our lives and our thoughts with you these past twelve weeks. Please check out our sister shows “How To Do Life with Chryssy and Heather” (where you can also get your Brian fix every 10th episode) and NEW SHOW “Heather Solves Everything.” Both are available right here on this platform where you find us. Keep in touch with us on Facebook, Instagram, and at ChryssyandHeather.com. 

We love you and we will miss you.

Until next time.

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But first, let’s talk about Japan!

The drink today was Mango Sake from local sushi joint Izzy. Very low alcohol content, tastes like fruit juice, fits the theme! And we drank it out of Carnival Cruiselines glasses.

Brian claims the Americans invented hot sake, but Google shows that is definitely a lie. Do not listen to Brian for facts on Japan.

Chryssy unveils a little secret about Japanese cuisine and how to get access to the freshest ingredients and most yummy stuff. You can learn a little more here -  https://www.japan-talk.com/jt/new/omakase

The second Japanese word the team is unable to say is gyotaku. It’s the Japanese art of fish rubbing and you can see some beautiful Tallahassee local examples here (or in the dining room at local restaurant Cypress) - https://aquatic-impressions.com/

During Foreplay, we talk about Daniel Sloss’ comedy special called Jigsaw. It’s available on Netflix and definitely worth the watch. Here’s a link to an article Chryssy wrote for the local paper (Tallahassee Democrat) about Jigsaw. https://www.tallahassee.com/story/life/2019/07/06/comedy-strikes-sobering-note-relationships/1653292001/

Finally, in the down and dirty, we talk a bit about co-parenting. We suggested we may grab you a link to one of the many, many, many, many available co-parenting articles out there, but we didn’t. You’ll have no trouble scoring one on your own.

Until next time!

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The drink today is a Bloody Mary, mostly because this week’s show was recorded after Sunday brunch. Brian’s version of a Bloody Mary, which is what the team drank today, is a mix and some Vodka – add celery. Chryssy praises herself for keeping it low-maintenance and not asking him to whip up a mix from scratch, even though that’s what she really wanted to happen.

During Foreplay, our duo talked about the Five Love Languages. Both have taken this quiz in the past and got different results this round. There is now a version for kids and teens, too. You can access the quizzes and start a conversation with your loved ones here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

Today’s Down and Dirty transitions from all the dating talk that’s been happening to a discussion on parenting. We talk about how divorce has impacted our children. We ponder the “what ifs” today. Then we end with a sill story about brunch.

Until next time!

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Today is all about CANCEL culture. We explore what it is, where it came from, and how it’s influencing current society. The whole show is based on news articles and comments from Chryssy’s friends, many of whom ask to be kept anonymous. Because that’s how polarizing and powerful this phenomenon seems to be.

We don’t make it through all the articles we’d hoped to. But here’s a good sampling for some education.

Oh, and listen until the very end for a heck of a quote. Let us know if you know the origin. 

Until next time. 

Here are the many and varied links referenced on today’s show. Enjoy the deep dive!

https://troymedia.com/politicslaw/cancel-culture-equivalent-to-infamous-hollywood-blacklist/#.X86gG8tKhfQ

https://www.deseret.com/indepth/2020/8/22/21362516/cancel-culture-forgiveness-j-k-rowling-carson-king-apology-moral

https://www.thedp.com/article/2019/09/cancel-culture-uchicago-ivy-league-safe-spaces-upenn-philadelphia

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/19/style/loretta-ross-smith-college-cancel-culture.html

https://harpers.org/a-letter-on-justice-and-open-debate/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2020/07/10/arts/open-letter-debate.amp.html

https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/12/30/20879720/what-is-cancel-culture-explained-history-debate

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Our drink was . . . WINE. We drank Conundrum white blend, which Brian called “the beige of wines,” and he’s not wrong. But it’s not derogatory. It’s just a super sippable wine that goes with everything. It’s part of the Wagner family of wines, which makes some fab labels, like Caymus.

Onto foreplay, where Chryssy made her favorite little lab rat take a bunch of quizzes about his Attachment Style. Two duo compared their styles and then read an article about how they need to be loved, based on their results.

You can take the first quiz, which dishes out percentages so that you can see your secondary styles, too, here: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Here is the article we read, and it has links to the other two quizzes we took: https://medium.com/tinglymind/this-is-how-you-finally-fall-in-love-based-on-your-attachment-style-ad8640447b30

In the down and dirty, Chryssy asked Brian what some of the most threatening things ABOUT HIM are that make him undatable. Then Brian turned it around on Chryssy as well.

All in all, we offered up some real things to self-analyze if you’re a member of the dating world or in a current partnership.

Next up, we will dish on parenting post-divorce.

Until next time!

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Our drink is Café Fizz – a coffee and booze drink.

Fill a big cup with ice, add coffee liquor to taste, add a cap full of vanilla and a couple shots of spiced rum, and top it all off with ginger ale. It may sound like a conglomerate of strange ingredients, but it tastes good. 

Do you remember a movie in the 90’s called Shazzam starring Sinbad? Well, if you do, you are mistaken, because it simply doesn’t exist. Here’s an article about the Mandala effect, and more importantly, a tweet from Sinbad. https://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/internet/2016/12/movie-doesn-t-exist-and-redditors-who-think-it-does

Here also is a very tongue-in-cheek confession that contains the phrase “yoga and Crisco,” which is hilarious. https://nj1015.com/sinbads-shazaam-genie-movie-he-admits-covering-it-up/

In today’s down and dirty, Chryssy and Brian talk about dating in a pandemic, dating just to be with someone, dating people who have the opposite characteristics of our spouses, and how to begin to integrate someone new into your existing family unit (Note: neither Chryssy nor Brian seem to have a clue).

Next week is the last stop on the dating train, then we will move into talking about parenting post-divorce.

Until next time.

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We have an interpretive reading and some show planning advice by Chryssy’s child, followed by Brian busting out Chryssy’s texts to him and his bid for his own show. Or at least his own segment. Listen in to find out what B’s Nutz would be about.

Our friend Ryan, husband of Fan Club President Kylene, stops in for a second and we can’t resist saying hi to him on air.

Let’s get into it with a recap. Episode 1 of the recap was so long ago we skip it – we were talking about Halloween! The team is now in full Christmas mode.

Chryssy asks a probing question akin to F###, Marry, Kill, but within your current relationship. If you have to give up Intimacy, Friendship, or the Ability to Manage a Home together, which one would you let go?

Chryssy is very proud of Brian for cracking the cover on The Gifts of Imperfection, but she secretly kind of wanted him not to have read it so she could give him a hard time. 

A rousing discussion about Stormtroopers and Beskar ensues as we talk The Mandalorian. If you haven’t watched this show yet, get on it.

Brian and Heather revel in how very few people want to kill them and Chryssy pays her best fake and begrudging compliments to Heather on her many and varied 2020 accomplishments.

Brian tells us his drink-along-with-the-character habits, and Chryssy is delighted other people do this besides her. We have a quick Thanksgiving recap (that Chryssy doesn’t really want to hear) and then we remind you to listen to the Bo Walker episode. 

We fail to remember what we talked about on the episode we recorded just before this, so we have nothing to recap for episode 11. 

You’ve got two weeks until Book Club for Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild.” Get to reading, kids.

Until next time. 

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Heather is struggling to decide what to do this show on, and needs Chryssy's help with choosing a show topic. She recounts her Thanksgiving of many Donald Trump sightings and her recent adoption into a new family. 

She recommends continuing to strength train even when you don't want to, and reveals some research that might change the way you look at exercise.

Heather was intrigued to learn about who she thought was the first woman to play college football, until she learned that she wasn't actually the first, and there has been a whole legion of women in college football. 

And, Heather is wowed by the idea of astronauts littering outer space with their dirty laundry, and shares some behind the scenes information about skin care and toilets in space. 

Until next time...

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Chryssy started drinking this drink during her travels in Spain, and you can make it with a little of this and a little of that. Usually, she uses a Spanish Rioja as the base. So fill a wine glass with ice, pour red wine a little more than halfway and then add something fizzy.

In Spain, it’s usually a peach soda that isn’t sold in the states, so today we used a clementine soda and added some pomegranate juice. You can literally use whatever - to taste. We like to add fruit, usually oranges, but today was strawberries and blueberries and even a little jackfruit because Chryssy just discovered the stuff and thought it might be fun in a drink.

Foreplay runs long today, because we really liked what we were doing here.

We talked about how our houses – physically and in terms of rules – changed once we were not married to the people we once were. We discussed how OK or not OK we are with our exes entering our space, and Chryssy thinks Brian needs to make some life adjustments. We also talked about our feelings on living with someone new and took a brief interlude into the joys of spending time at a partner’s house where there aren’t many responsibilities.

Finally making it to the down and dirty, it was quick. We talked about the similarities and differences in ourselves as partners to new people and the role self-awareness plays in keeping it real.

Maybe someday these two will find the right people to tolerate their quirks. And if not, they’ll just keep talking it out in Not Quite Therapy.

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Heather did a little shopping for things she thinks a dad of triplets might like, and recommends a stop at a men's general store, which smells lovely and manly.

Then, Heather takes Bo and Chryssy deep into the rabbit hole of her brain, as she devises a game based on the Rule of 3. It blows Chryssy's mind and is a lot of fun. Can you guess the answers to her questions? 

Until next time...

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https://www.tallahassee.com/videos/entertainment/2019/02/14/chryssy-moor-shares-her-experiences-dating-apps/2872533002/

Some of her feelings on the matter have changed – she says she might online date again in the video, but that was a big no-go in real life.

The drink today is . . . BEER. Brian brings a beer in a can and we don’t even put it in a glass. It’s from this local-ish brewery. You should check it out. https://www.tequestabrewing.com/

The foreplay topic continues the “return to last episode” theme, with the pair talking about social media and friend requests from exes before diving into whether they felt the relationships – especially those that didn’t last – that played roles in their divorces were “worth it.”

Today’s Down and Dirty needs a disclaimer. This entire season’s worth of Down and Dirty was written in advance. It was written before Brian signed onto the show. It was written in about an hour on a weekday afternoon in early April. SO – the fact that a weird topic for the team shows up today is unplanned and unplanted. It’s about whether guys and girls can just be friends, how to be friends with the opposite gender when you’re single, and more.

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This may be the year for new traditions, and you may find you actually like the change. Don’t want to listen to Uncle Bill’s political rant? Just close that Zoom call, baby!

Take a moment to reminisce about the Thanksgiving of old . . . it may make you glad for something new. Chryssy would like to know, how many Thanksgivings have you spent in a bar? Her count is pretty high.

The girls lament cooking, as per usual, and review some tips they’ve received on how to make poultry that leave them questioning if anyone actually knows how to cook. Best of luck to everyone out there trying to do the whole bird tomorrow, especially to the first-timers.

Speaking of the ladies dishing out tips, you’re going to want to tune in here for some really great advice on technology. As you know, Chryssy and Heather are experts in tech, and have insights to share (routers, Ethernet, modem . . . you know . . .).

From everyone at How To Do Life, we send you the warmest Thanksgiving blessings and hope you create some memories. Until next time.

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In keeping with the new segment theme, we have another for you – Chryssy Cares. Listen in to see what she cares about. 

Heather is busy being productive and finishing a book while Chryssy is just fluttering through life. The ladies talk about clear concise writing and deliver some examples. 

There’s a discussion about food and drink and television characters’ food and drink and their influence over Chryssy. Chryssy learns that no one else in her life feels the influence of TV character’s drink choices like she does. Do you drink tea or wine along with the characters on the shows you like? Do you know there’s a reason behind your character’s drink? Learn more here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DrinkBasedCharacterization

Don’t forget to read Cheryl Strayed’s WILD. Book club is coming in 3 more weeks.

Until next time.

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Foreplay was extra fun today, as Chryssy and Brian dove into an article delivered by Chryssy’s dear pal Ric the Brit. The article (https://nickwignall.com/7-signs-youre-dating-an-emotionally-immature-adult/) had a set of questions about values and determining if your partner knows what they want. The team turned the questions on themselves. Brian felt attacked. Yet they pressed on, evaluating their values and asking you to do the same for yourself and your partner.

The down and dirty today moved into new territory. Our “divorce” arc is over, and now we enter the world of dating. Today we talked about monogamy, what a “relationship” is, how our dating lives evolved after separating, and more.

The theme of the day – and of most days on this show – was honesty, and I’m betting when you listen in, you’ll find at least a few things to ponder and explore what you really think.

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Heather is distracting herself before Christmas by adding some structure to her life by training for a marathon, after being inspired by her friend who finished the Ironman race.

And that leads Heather into some curious questions for Chryssy - and you - about bravery.

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Visit www.bigbendcares.org to learn how you can be an Angel, including being matched with a family to shop for, making a donation, or ordering online and having gifts sent directly to their office to be wrapped and delivered.

Children do not have to be infected with HIV or have AIDS to be affected by the disease. Each year, some children of parents living with HIV/AIDS do not experience the joy of receiving presents or new clothes that fit due to the financial burden that often goes with their family member’s struggle to survive.

We know the pandemic has impacted us all. But for families living below the Federal Poverty level – and ALL Holiday Angel families do – it has been even more difficult. For these parents, getting Christmas gifts for their children can be an impossible burden.

These children need your help!

Become a Holiday Angel and provide 1 gift and 1 clothing outfit for a child. It will mean the world to these children on Christmas! Sign up today to become a Holiday Angel by emailing Matt King at mking@bigbendcares.org or by calling (850) 656-2437 extension 224.

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The drink is bourbon on the rocks. We know this is not a cocktail, but it’s producer Jon’s favorite drink and we are celebrating his birthday! Brian chooses Noah’s Mill as our bourbon of choice and Chryssy made ice, which is a big culinary feat for her. The pair obviously don’t know much at all about scotch or bourbon or whiskey. But we gave it our best.

In foreplay, we discuss this excellent article, sent to Chryssy by a friend who really “gets” this brand. Listen in to hear the team’s thoughts. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8358109/amp/Swiss-brothels-draw-list-coronavirus-safe-sex-positions.html

Brian suggests we watch “Cathouse.” Here’s a link to the Wiki about the series, which doesn’t look to be widely available currently: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathouse:_The_Series

Brian gets away with a fair share of quips at Chryssy’s expense today, which will surely be counterbalanced in a future episode.

In the Down and Dirty, we talk about how we each changed as people as we went through our divorces.

Brian went to the gym and Chryssy went on a 550 miles soul-searching hike. Listen in to hear about that experience.

Both our core groups of friends changed in our divorces. Our core communities changed, and some things changed for our kids, too - and most of that sucked. Both B and C are learning what friendship should look like and realizing perhaps some of their previous relationships weren’t as genuine, deep, or supportive as they thought.

There are some hard realizations here, and it’s definitely a look at the not-so-sunny-side of divorce and self-discovery. But at the end of the day, we celebrate taking a step closer to being who and where we are supposed to be. Gotta love a happy ending.

Until next time.

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Have you been to the dentist lately? Even here in the COVID times, you better clean those teeth, or you could get Alzheimer’s – we think.

Congratulations are in order as Heather is making a show with spiking, striking numbers that is ALSO raising money and awareness for some excellent local organizations. Way to go, Ms. Heather!

Chryssy confesses to a lot of sins today – listen in to find out what.

Until next time!

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2 ounces Vodka (we used Reyka)

½ ounce fresh lime juice / wedges

6 ounces ginger beer (we used Fever Tree, which Brian deemed “fancy”)

Brian stirred it up with a swizzle spoon in traditional copper mule mugs with ice.

Chryssy tells us about her fondness for the NYT Modern Love column and all its accoutrements (including the Amazon Prime specials, Podcast, and Tiny Love Stories). She then dives into one of the pieces, which includes a link to research on building intimacy.

Of course, B and C talk through a few of the questions to find out if they like one another more or less by the end of the conversation. You can guess how that goes – or listen in to find out.

Here's the link to the questions on today’s show, in case you’d like to try them out with your partner or potential partner. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/36-questions-that-lead-to-love.html

On today’s Down and Dirty, the duo brings in a third with special guest Heather from “How To Do Life!” A lively conversation ensues about our therapy histories and how participating in therapy helped – or didn’t – in our past and current relationships. Everyone takes turns asking one another deeply personal questions that maybe aren’t necessarily made for radio, which makes them even better for radio.

Next week is our last episode in the DIVORCE arc of Season 1. Then, we move onto DATING. Stay tuned.

Until next time.

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Heather recommends getting away from TV altogether and going camping, and regales Chryssy with tales from her recent foray into the woods, including what turtles should and should not eat.

And then in the grab bag, Heather presents four styles of parenting to Chryssy and asks a myriad of questions about which type of parenting she is. Do we parent different kids differently? What style were we raised by? Does that inform our parenting? Take the quiz and find out: https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

Until next time...

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Here’s how to make it.

2 ounces gin

¾ ounce fresh lemon juice

½ ounce honey syrup (equal parts Capital City Honey Company wildflower honey and water, boiled then chilled)

Lemon garnish

We had a honey themed drink in homage to our friend Cameron at Capital City Honey Company (capitalcityhoney.com). Cameron detailed out information about murder hornets, bees in the walls, and hotel rooftops making wine out of honey a recent episode of HTDL, and we continue to thank her for her knowledge today here at Not Quite Therapy.

The foreplay topic today is a doozy – it’s all about conjoined twins and sexual experiences. Some clickbait link lured Chryssy down the rabbit hole, and she landed here: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/264095/

For the Down and Dirty today, Chryssy kicks us off with an Excerpt from the book Fleichmann is in Trouble (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41880602-fleishman-is-in-trouble).

The resulting question here is – How miserable is too miserable in a marriage?

C and B discuss personal thresholds, stories from their peers, and their own divorce backgrounds. The pair concurs – hindsight is 20/20. And growing up is a bitch.

Next week, special guest Heather will be with us to remind us that marriage can actually go alright.

Until next time.

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Memories of Halloween - or "humbleween" as Heather's son called it - include a zipline carrying candy from Heather's roof to childrens' hands, Chryssy's daughter's successful 2020 costume, and the perils of COVID trick-or-treating.

2020 has proven to be an interesting year but things are about to get even weirder. 

For example, a massive asteroid named after Apophis - the 'God of Chaos' - gains speed as it travels towards Earth with a potential impact date of 2068 in an explosion that would be equivalent to 880 MILLION tons of TNT?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8886301/Asteroid-named-God-Chaos-gaining-speed-travels-Earth.html?fbclid=IwAR2HyT6NUZ3d68hF-Zn54yYT2cNW3LGn_Z0EuDMHKJnJ5eOJno6zXGBKnrM

Also, Chryssy's trip to Portugal needs to happen as soon as Americans are allowed to go to other countries, because

World's longest pedestrian suspension bridge opening in Portugal!

https://www.stltoday.com/travel/worlds-longest-pedestrian-suspension-bridge-opening-in-portugal/article_8a556076-c25b-524c-ab77-05f7fe98ff65.html?fbclid=IwAR05P2q5_KFPaS5fKNlWIgZ_LlqSlVRed30fcIg3ti5fr1x2qLGykD5i4PY

Self-cloning mutant crayfish have taken over a cemetery in Belgium.  

https://nypost.com/2020/10/25/self-cloning-mutant-crayfish-take-over-belgian-cemetery/?fbclid=IwAR3ofVet7C2M15jQuA7IWc6-q6Lie-FiTKPOpFFlu2Ow7UqhrhPQVMZvVpY

That’s cray cray.

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Chryssy and Brian created “Not Quite Therapy” as a safe space to talk about divorce and dating and parenting. You’re kind of eavesdropping on a conversation between friends, but it’s cool – we invited you. And we hope there’s something here that extrapolates to your life.

Chryssy and Brian are trying to get settled here on Episode 1. This is going to be a “learn as we go” series, much like all things in the “How To Do” brand family.

Brian whips up a Negroni for the pair. He shakes the drink for an excessively long time and then wipes orange juice on Chryssy’s cozy blankey. Super rude. We learn that the Negroni is a drink he was inspired to make because of something about Stanley Tucci. Chryssy later, off air, googles Stanley Tucci to learn she has never seen even one of his films. But he makes a terrific drink.

Here’s the drink of the day recipe, so you can have one along with us –

2 parts gin

2 parts sweet vermouth

1 part Campari

Shake for an excessively long time, serve it in a fancy glass (or a yeti), squeeze a slice of fresh orange into it.

Next the pair moves on to a little Foreplay, discussing Mother’s Day and what that day looks and feels like in divorced households.

Finally ready to Get Down and Dirty, we discuss our childhood experiences with divorce and how they shaped – or how we thought they’d shape – who we grew up to be in our own relationships.

Upcoming episodes in our first arc, “Divorce” (4 episodes) will discuss our previous marriages and mindsets, the things we tried or didn’t try to save our situations, and more banter. Lots of banter.

Until next time.

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She then sends a big shout out to our face blind friend Paula, who will feel Chryssy’s pain on the next story. Could you be convinced one of your best friends was a stranger simply by another member of your party saying, “I don’t think that’s her?” Chryssy could. Could you gaff again, even worse, and ask her if her boyfriend, who you have met several times and had dinner at his home, was her father? Chryssy could. Yikes.

We get into the Book Club Book Review today. The ladies discuss Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection. This was our first book club book, and it was a great place to begin. It’s about self reflection and self-acceptance. Brene Brown was toeing the line on embracing ourselves, flaws and all, while Chryssy and Heather were still in their formative stages on the topic.

The show ends with the announcement of the next book club book. We are reading “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed, Chryssy’s siren song of transformation as well as her personal beacon for how to pack excellent, tear-jerking writing into a mere couple of pages. Get Wild on order now. We will be talking about it in about a month. Here’s the link. https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Found-Pacific-Crest-Oprahs-ebook/dp/B005IQZB14

Until next time.

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In today’s personal life update, an old character on the show is back. Dapper Dan has returned to Chryssy’s life and we’re looking forward to watching that unfold. We also establish a reminder today concerning your technology. Turn on the auto back-ups. You won’t regret it.

The ladies have a chat about the Great British baking show and ponder if it might be alright to go ahead and put up Christmas decorations for the year. After all, it’s 2020 and anything goes.

This is your final reminder to read the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. It’s a quick read and we will have our first book club discussion next week on the show.

It’s a fun Friday show, and we thank you for listening in and being part of it. Until next time!

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ARE YOU GOING TO TRICK OR TREAT?

The gals (and Producer Jon) discuss plans for Halloween and go down memory lane to recall Halloweens past, including the funny and nostalgic things they used to do.

Heather shares the sad news that, "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" which first aired in 1966, will not be broadcast on network television. If you want to see it, you'll have to watch it on Apple TV Plus, which you have to pay for. GOOD GRIEF.

WE GOT A ROCK.

But this show is not a rock. It is a Grab Bag full of candy!

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Make a contribution here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1535252817/rosa-parks-and-rbg-murals?ref=project_facebook&fbclid=IwAR0xpE2jOFG64jeihtvAU_-b145RogeW290AwQoHe5Qac5RECEFMUeOroOE

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Today, as usual, we have Brian with us. He’s working up a sweat to try to regain his HOT BRIAN title. He’s also playing a silly Not Quite Therapy themed game with Chryssy. No one wins these games. No one.

A special treat today, DEEP VOICE GUY joins us in the studio. We finally tell you his REAL NAME, but you’ll have to tune in to find out.

Greg Tish joins us for a DJ Voice Off with Heather. He’s pretty close to perfect, really.

Producer Jon gets in on the action with a behind the scenes look at how the team creates those terrific segment headers. He makes us something pretty fun ON THE SPOT.

Fan Club President Kylene joins the group for a quiz about the show. She dominates the boy’s knowledge, but still needs a nudge.

THANK YOU for being part of our HTDL family. We love our listeners with our whole selves. Tune in for the fun.

Until next time.

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But for hundreds of children in Tallahassee and throughout the Big Bend area, bedtime means finding a bundle of blankets on the floor, squeezing in between siblings on a single bed, or worse. John Cousins, President of the Tallahassee Chapter of Sleep in Heavenly Peace, isn’t okay with that.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace is a national effort based in Idaho, with two hundred chapters in the US. All chapters are 100% volunteer based and partner with local community service providers, churches, law enforcement, social workers, schools, and more to connect families in need with beds for kids. 

In this episode, you'll learn how easy it is to help.

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Then it's time for Heather's Headlines, this time about humpback whales making a comeback in New York City. New York City???? You heard it here last.

That makes Heather wonder what else is making a comeback, and the gals discuss ways to turn your life around and come out new and improved. Good stuff!!

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We move on to a discussion of the many and varied memes that are circling the interwebs these days. Some of them are very funny. If you can put your political leanings aside for the sake of enjoying art, even more of them are funny. Head over to the How To Do Life Facebook page for some examples of memes we’re really liking right now.

Today’s grab bag is all about old things that are actually young, like Jonathan the tortoise and the United States of America.

If you need a smile, here a link to Jonathan’s story. It’s worth a click. He’s very cute CLICK HERE! .

We also got a little history lesson today, learning about the United States’ 10th President, who left office in 1845, and his STILL LIVING RIGHT NOW grandson. Here’s the link to that story.

Thank you to Chryssy’s friend Neil for sharing this article and for Chryssy’s Sissy Lisa for adding the perspective that maybe this country will be OK – after all we are just petulant kids.

Today unveiled the first ever Chryssy’s Book Club book. She chose The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. This book is a quick read and should lead to some interesting discussion. We will talk about it in about 5 weeks, so you’ve got time to order it and get it read. Thank you to another dear friend, Beth, for this suggestion. CLICK HERE!

Don’t forget that next week are our 99th and 100th show. Make sure you listen in for lots of special guests and shenanigans. 

Until next time!

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We’re contemplating a book club, if you like this idea and have book suggestions, drop us a line.

We talk about Chryssy’s trip. We talk about relationships. You’ll have to listen in to find out what else we talked about.

It was nice to do a show that was just a couple of friends going where the topics took us. Now that both Heather AND Chryssy are in their 40s, who knows that trouble may get stirred up around here. We are so happy to have our listeners along for the ride!

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Heather's Resources:

https://mybirthday.ninja

https://horoscopes.lovetoknow.com/

https://bannedbooksweek.org/about/

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Though many children, ages two to 12 years-old, brought to Tree House are victims of domestic abuse, there are a wide range of reasons a child may be placed in one of two homes operated by the organization. Increasingly, children whose parents have lost their jobs and are financially unable to support them are being placed in the homes until a more stable permanent environment is available.

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Today we try to give you a timeline of what’s been happening around the show, but it’s nearly impossible because we are actually way back in the past at time of recording.

Chryssy thought she was going to Portugal and then ended up unable to travel there. You will have to tune in next week to see where she ended up, if anywhere, or if she’s just sitting in the studio quietly watching Heather with her special guests.

Who are these special guests, you ask? Well Heather has asked Greg Tish, the morning show guru at our fabled 93.3 studios, to be her co-host for an episode next week. For the other episode next week, she’ll have Brian in as co-host. Chryssy is betting Heather makes him cry.

Chryssy is cantankerous today, and she goes on a real diatribe about what is now weeks old news for you, friends, but was fresh the day of recording. Captain America sent out a picture of his penis as Instagram accident / fail. Twitter’s response to this snafu may surprise you.

It’s really too bad we didn’t keep the audio commentary between Chryssy and Heather after the show, as we analyzed the dick pic heard round the web. We’re not going to share a link to it here, but it’s certainly not because we are worried about a dog lover’s anxiety.

Until next time.

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Chryssy is punchy with all this love in the room. She razzes Producer Jon and gets really drunk on the power of managing her own Morning Zoo show for a day.

In the recap, we start with Brian telling us about his intense recurring childhood dream. We hope his family isn’t as bad as this dream makes them seem. Definitely listen in for this. We also talk about a childhood trauma Lisa went through, and how that showed up in her dreams for quite awhile after.

The team weighs the differences between back to school and back to online, and we make some decisions on which group is decidedly happier.

Brian comes up with some actual quality potential holidays. He’s really on point with this one. Then he very thoughtfully weighs in on polygamy. Listen closely for his disdain on some feedback Chryssy gave him recently concerning his show presence. It’s a shame there’s no video because it’s really great fun to watch him squirm when he’s on the spot.

Lisa gives the team some excellent advice on child-rearing through the teen years. There are just two words you need to know. 

Everyone weighs in on whether it’s worth it to fight the good fight on social media. Reviews are mixed. 

As if we haven’t done enough by this point, Heather gives us a fantastic rundown on some of adventures being had over on our other program “Heather Solves Everything.” Be sure to check out that show and all the other “How To Do” shows.

Until next time.

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Speaking of home, Heather's got her eye on Hurricane Sally, which is inching its way across the Gulf of Mexico. As a lifelong gulf dweller, hurricanes ain't no big thang, but she is nervous nonetheless that she may soon have evacuees at her house. 

The girls discuss storm stories, and Heather shares some of her own and those of her friends. The moral of the story is that we've survived all of them, and we will survive whatever storms life brings us. Awwww. Until next time.....

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Today, Chryssy talks about setting a budget. Chryssy is not an expert on this topic, but it’s about learning as we go and learning new things together. We uncover overspending, lack of discipline in spending, double charges, the need to reconcile credits cards and accounts . . . it’s all just a good reminder of How To Do Life a little better.

In that spirit, the grab bag today tackles FEAR. Chryssy has a big 40th birthday hike upcoming, and there are some really scary things that run parallel to the excitement of the experience.

We talk about the scary things, but more importantly, we talk about strategies for overcoming fears so that we can live our best lives. Sure, you could ignore it. You could Pollyanna it. Or you could proactively plan for those fears and take steps to eradicate the frightening parts.

Stay tuned in the weeks ahead for reports from Portugal, special guest hosts, and more – all right here with Chryssy and Heather.

Until next time.

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Then she thanks Chryssy after begrudgingly admits that "Glow Up" on Netflix is a really fun show. The gals discuss how great it is to see people working in their element.

Heather recommends supporting live theatre online after seeing her college chum's cabaret show live from Denver.

And in the grab bag, we discuss conspiracy theories and why we believe them. 

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https://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/abuse-hotline/

We pivot to happier things, with a rundown of Chryssy’s new gym-going activities and the extreme physical pain she is in from them. Heather hypothesizes Chryssy may become a body-builder, which is the most clear indicator that these two ladies are still really just getting to know each other, as this activity would be on the list of things Chryssy is sure to never do.

We talk about goals, cooking, and clothing, and we haven’t even made it to the grab bag yet.

In the grab bag today, Professor Chryssy takes us back to her days as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. She gives us a crash course in some of the basic principles of ABA and how they apply to each of our lives, each and every day. We get in a quick chat about curbing stalkers, teaching husbands to put laundry where it goes, and why we shake the crap out of a Coke machine when it eats our money.

There’s a bit of homework, so tune in for that.

Until next time!

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Meanwhile at Heather's house, her son has begun inflating balloons and hanging streamers for a party. What's the occasion? You decide! Heather has a very long list of national observances suitable for celebration, including a way that the gals can create their own holiday to be celebrated in the future!

Here's where you can find a reason to party every day: 

http://www.holidayscalendar.com/categories/weird/

https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/fun 

And where you can declare your OWN special day! https://nationaldaycalendar.com/

In the famous words of Mel Brooks in Robin Hood: Men in Tights (also referenced in this episode), "Let's get ferschnickered!"

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1.    Give your children as much autonomy as possible in their back to school routine.

And

2.    Set up a quality schedule with flexibility as needed.

Chryssy is pleased to live up to the show title today and actually tell you “How To Do” something.

We also discuss the concept of gaining through less. The ladies talk about cutting things out of our lives that don’t spark joy or that spark only short-term joy. Keep the things that are building toward the life you want. Everything else has no place.

There is no shame in controlling the things that you can healthily and safely control. This doesn’t make you a control freak. Times are uncertain, and taking steps to make yourself – and your children, as they head back to class – more grounded is good for you. If there’s ever been a time to relish predictability, it’s now.

Take on the homework assignment today. Purge what’s not working, reset and reorganize, and actually GIVE UP some of your reign on your household by allowing your kids to step into greater roles. We’ve got this. Let’s get into it.

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Of course, none of Heather's recurring dreams were found in any list on the interwebs, so Dr. Chryssy put on her white coat and diagnosed Heather with Advanced Over-Achievers Syndrome after Heather shared her anxiety-ridden dreams. Heather diagnosed Chryssy back, so now they're even. 

Then Heather turned the tables on us and shared some secret things we can do to influence our dreams, one of which is eating cheese. And there is nothing wrong with that! 

Until next time...

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We talk about some of the most common dreams and what popular psychology (and Chryssy and Heather) think they might mean.

Chryssy caught up with an old friend this week. Her college pal, Brandi, gave us some insight into what her highly imaginative dreams look like. This is extra interesting because Brandi is blind. We have some neat conversation about what’s in our minds’ eye versus what our physiology can do.

Here are some links to a few of the dream articles discussed on this show. There are plenty more down the rabbit hole.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/dream-about-teeth-falling-out

https://www.bustle.com/life/what-9-different-sex-dreams-can-mean-68117#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20a%20sex,figure%20out%20your%20next%20steps.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dreams-about-being-chased_n_891410

https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-your-dreams-2795935

There’s a little Homework, a Might I Recommend, a True Confession and even some Chryssy’s Ponderings on today’s show. You’ll have to tune in to find out what they are.

Today is certainly not founded in the land of hard science, but it’s rooted in a pretty good time. We hope you join us.

Until next time!

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In this first episode of Heather Solves Everything, we will learn just how easy it can be to improve someone's life. One way - just see people. Ask what they need. Give it to them. 

Over the years, Amy's plastic bags evolved into backpacks, t-shirts, and a bevy of volunteers. Will you be one of them? Listen and learn.

Check out Amy and the Backpack Project here: https://www.facebook.com/thebackpackprojecttallahassee/ 

Read a story Heather wrote about Amy here: https://www.tallahassee.com/story/life/communities/25women/2018/03/20/25-women-amy-rogers-lifts-up-homeless-backpack-project/441790002/ 

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Before we get into it with him, though, there are a pair of VERY SPECIAL guest on the show. Today’s amazing guests, the incomparable duo of Ella and Ry, give us expert analysis about heading back to traditional classrooms here in the days of COVID.

In recapping episode 21, Brian has no further predictions for the rest of the year, but plenty of gripes about college football. We recap faceblindness and vacationing alone and with kids. 

There was mention of Taylor Swift, but no one bit. Chryssy was displeased. Chryssy remained displease as Heather and Brian actually agreed on something and she was the odd one out.

What was it you ask? Tune in to hear their asinine (yes, Chryssy chose that word) chat about hiding food in face masks.

We review Heather’s 5th grade language arts homework assignment, and then have a short blip about sleep and dreaming. 

Heather’s leads a round of “Lamentations or Taylor Swift.” Chryssy was please Taylor made the show. And the Bible has some choice lyrics.

We cover a lot of ground this episode, and let Ella and Ry do the “Until next time” and “Bye”s. Listen in so you don’t miss the fun – and listen to episodes 21 – 29 so you know what we’re recapping!

Until next time.

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Heather had a lucid dream while in sleep paralysis, according to resident expert Chryssy. We discuss this dream but not it’s meaning (though expert Chryssy purports that it was a “feeling alone / unable to communicate or connect” dream). 

Chryssy tells us about her lifelong DREAM to become a sleep and dream researcher and expert. Then she tells us everything she’s ever learned in her self-study of these topics, starting in the 4th grade with Freud and ending with being unable to recall the actual areas and functions of the brain at work during sleep, but giving you a jumping off point to your own study.

We discuss the merits and necessities of sleep, and take a look at what Harvard has to say about it. http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/matters/benefits-of-sleep/why-do-we-sleep

Chryssy encourages you to go down the fascinating rabbit hole of sleep and dreamland. Here are a couple places to start. 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/sleep-disorders-and-problems.htm

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/dreaming-overview

Twice on today’s show, Chryssy gives Heather a shout out for just being a terrific friend and human, but it’s nice to say it in the notes, too. Hoorary for Heather. And hooray for sleep and dreams.

Until next time.

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We dig into the clues that the universe gives us that it is time for a new chapter, and ponder the types of punctuation we might use to signify chapters of life. 

We greet the next few months as a friend, and Chryssy offers up a quote for Heather, reminding us that even when we feel broken, all can be mended with intention. There is some homework for you, so don't get too comfortable! Until next time.....

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Also, they solve a debate going on at Heather's house, which leads to an exciting prediction for 2021.

And, she has a bunch of random questions for Chryssy. What's the best reason you faked being sick? If you could give me a tattoo when I was sleeping, what would it be? What did you think life at 40 would be like when you were younger?

The gals have a nice chat and some laughs. It's Friday! What else can we ask for.

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Taylor Swift put out a new album. You can hear Chryssy and Fan Club President Kylene perform the opening track over on the How to Do Life Facebook and Instagram pages. Chryssy became a big Taylor fan several years ago and challenges a listen through of the album. She thinks you’ll become a Swiftie, too.

The biggest recommendation today, though, gives to nod to Netflix for airing a FANTASTIC series called Love on the Spectrum. This program is about young adults with autism seeking love, heading on first dates, and navigating the waters of the big wide world. The show is endearing and sweet and close to Chryssy’s heart professionally. Heather also loves it. We’ve both known lots of people with autism and this is just a refreshing and kind look at what it’s like to live with being a little bit socially different.

The whole of today’s show focuses on Love on the Spectrum, love in general, and autism. It’s a sweet conversation that we hope you enjoy. We offer up a quick little lesson on people-first language and not only respecting or accepting differences but celebrating them.

Heather found a beautiful quote that we failed to drop into the show, but we will leave for you right here. 

“Diversity is being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance.” Verna Myers

Until next time!

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After two weeks of vacation, the team comes back to talk about . . . VACATION.

Today’s show focuses on the benefits of solo travel. Chryssy gets very excited about recycling her work today, so here’s a link to an article she wrote about that very subject. https://medium.com/@chryssymoor/need-an-epiphany-travel-alone-a17135eb5a70

We also discuss getting out and about with our kids in tow. Another recycled Chryssy article found here, https://psiloveyou.xyz/heres-how-to-travel-with-children-129fde203006

shares some tips on making travel with kids easier on the whole clan. BONUS – there’s a link in the travel tips article to yet one more, about when travel goes WRONG. You can also find that one here: https://psiloveyou.xyz/travel-with-your-kids-3d29b1f6cc34

We want to hear your tips and tricks and victories and fails as you travel solo or with family in tow. In these times when we can’t always get out and about, it fun to think about times we have traveled and times we will again.

We’ve missed you, listeners. We’re glad to be back.

Until next time.

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Famous Faces test.  https://www.testmybrain.org/

The Cambridge Super Face Memory Test. The average person who takes this test correctly identifies 57 out of 72 faces. Paula's percentile score was 9, meaning she scored higher than 9% of people who took this test.

Seven Signs You May Be Face Blind: https://www.testmybrain.org/do-you-suffer-from-face-blindness-seven-signs-and-symptoms-of-prosopagnosia/

https://www.oliversacks.com/books-by-oliver-sacks/the-minds-eye/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/magazine/wp/2019/08/21/feature/my-life-with-face-blindness/

About Jane Goodall and prosopagnosia: https://faceblind.livejournal.com/5325.html

Just for Fun: https://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/how-face-blind-are-you

And especially for Heather, a superrecognizer test : https://www.businessinsider.com/super-recognizer-remember-faces-quiz-2016-8

BONUS RESOURCE! A podcast about Faceblindness. It's a Faceblind guy talking to a BLIND guy about how HE recognizes faces and it's ... interesting! https://faceblindpodcast.com/category/podcast/

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“Here,” as it were, is the precipice of the second half of the year. It seems dividing this year in two can’t hurt, and maybe the second half can improve.

We take a look into the world of being a futurist, deciding to make some predictions of our own for the second half of the year.

Chryssy believes we should offer our country back to the queen on the Fourth of July. Perhaps this whole being our own boss thing isn’t going as planned. She suggests if Lizzie won’t take us back, maybe we rewrite American history using the musical Hamilton as our starting point. It releases on the 4th on Disney+ and it seems if we want a rewrite, a diverse cast with loads of talent is as good a place to start as any. If all else fails, she predicts the Hunger Games.

Heather assumes cats may take over as our leaders. Really nothing can surprise us at this point.

Chryssy’s kids think school will be cancelled, Halloween will be cancelled, the Macy’s parade will be cancelled, Christmas will be cancelled, and then the spell will be broken on New Year’s Eve. We sincerely hope they are correct.

We talk about some “actual” possibilities, too. Like that regularly rule-following people may begin breaking laws to be on the right side of history. Like that the election might cause some serious something – though we aren’t quite sure what. Like a sharknado – because, well, 2020.

This one is a fun rollick through what may be. Talk to your friends about it, too.

Until next time.

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It’s time already! Brian is back in the hot seat to recap the last 10 episodes.

We talk a bit about race, religion, gender issues, and the right way to eat corn on the cob.

Then we move on to get really judge-y about that lady who gave back her adopted baby and really non-judge-y about ourselves and our children’s unlimited screen-time. Except Chryssy, Chryssy’s kids are swimming and building Dominos runs, of course.

We talk a minute about cooking, which has been a favorite topic on the show lately, before moving onto the ALONE portion of the show. Brian and Heather both really love this show and Chryssy enjoys the break from talking. Brian gets a little emotional about “alone” versus “lonely” and Chryssy absolutely must kiss the top of his head or her heart wouldn’t have survived.

We have a brief foray into “baby steps” and what we can and can’t control before just lamenting the scheduling for the week for a moment because, a look behind the curtain, show number 9 was AGAIN being recorded before show number 10 due to scheduling challenges. Brian is paying way too much attention to Chryssy’s face during this segment.

Heather thinks of a great answer to her NQT spin questions minutes too late, so hopefully we will get to hear it on a future episode.

Until next time.

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Then we get to the celebration. Heather explores traditions surrounding birthdays around the world, and here at home. The gals discuss how to do birthdays, from when gifts should be given to what foods should be served and when. They speculate about their fates if they were to find themselves turning 30 in Germany, which has some very strict ideas for how to do birthdays.

It's all great fun and you'll love it!

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The girls recommend you get a skin check. Melanoma is one of the most preventable types of cancer. If one of those moles is not like the others, see your dermatologist – and maybe save your life.

Chryssy laments her empty planners and the days gone by when everyone planned to roar and thrive and prosper this year . . . BUT! She’s getting her mojo back and she wants you to find yours, too.

Here’s a lifehack article to get you started: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/secret-to-life-success-baby-steps.html

The girls give examples of ways – small and large – to get yourself in a good state of mind. They want to hear the little nudges you’re taking toward productivity, too.

Until next time!

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And as is the American way, Heather is doing her part from the sofa while watching Netflix. A new-to-her show, "Alone," has her wondering about what it means to be alone, why people think women can't do stuff, and all of the times when women have been badasses. Men too. 

Chryssy shares stories of solo travel, and some of the *ahem* men? she has met along the way. Heather recalls a time when her mom was a BAMF on an interstate somewhere in Missouri. 

Read, watch, share. https://www.netflix.com/title/81271131

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As Justin explains, “life happens in the kitchen,” and today we learn a little bit about how to make that life more fun. He regales us about his childhood culinary experiences as well as how he is building family in the kitchen with his own son.

There’s a couple really bad jokes here. We hope you enjoy them.

We learn what the “essential kitchen tools” are, how to teach our kids about food, and how to balance health and flavor.

A grilled cheese challenge is issued, as well as another challenge by Chef Justin. We hope you try the challenge – and let us know your results.

Head on over to Patreon for even more from Chryssy and Heather’s arsenal. https://www.patreon.com/chryssyandheather

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It went how you think. Not to be deterred, she then presented to Chryssy some hilariously (and frightening) outdated parenting advice from the ages. You can read them here.

https://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/g4109/worst-parenting-advice-through-the-decades/?slide=

Moral of the story - no one knows what the heck we’re doing. If everyone is alive and accounted for at the end of the day, thumbs up to you.

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She clicked, she read, and she had questions to discuss with Chryssy:

1. Is this true?
2. Is it okay to ask for a do-over on adoption?
3. At what point is there grace for a mistake?
4. Is there ever a time when it’s okay to give up on being a parent?
5. Are we being judgmental about a private matter?
6. Does it matter that she earned money from the adoption story? 

We want to know what you think, too. Listen and let us know!

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We offer up the limited encouragement we have on hand. It's a purple lipstick show. We haven't had one in a while.

We hope everyone shows one another kindness and takes a moment of pause today.

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But it is short-lived, because in this episode she climbs on her soapbox and gives us a piece of her mind about wearing masks. Do wear a mask or not wear a mask? MYOB!

The real topic of discussion today is about what happens when faith - or lack of it, or ambivalence about it - collides. From relationships to parenting, the girls discuss the potential pitfalls of who believes what, and why, and what to tell the kids.

For your reading pleasure.... bonus points if you can find the typo!

https://ideas.time.com/2013/11/06/the-case-for-raising-your-child-with-two-religions/

https://www.livingfacts.org/en/articles/2019/one-family-two-faiths

https://www.nytimes.com/1988/08/18/garden/in-dual-faith-families-children-sturggle-for-a-spiritual-home.html

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/04/parenting-advice-on-a-family-with-one-churchgoing-parent-and-one-who-dislikes-organized-religion.html

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Chryssy is watching The Big Flower Fight. You should watch it, too. Check it out on Netflix, since Netflix is the only thing humans do these days.

The big topic today, though, is pronouns. We’re talking about gender and what it would be like if we didn’t “feel” like the gender we are. We’re talking about mental illness and acceptance and what maybe we shouldn’t accept.

We visit mypronouns.org to try to make sense of some things and also read up on aromantic and asexual identifiers here https://identitiesandorientations.weebly.com/asexual.html

It’s safe to say Chryssy and Heather really don’t understand this topic. But we’re trying, and that’s what it’s all about. Homework this week is to dive into a topic that you don’t know much about, maybe even something that makes you a little uncomfortable, and just see what you can learn about yourself and your own tolerance levels.

Until next time.

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Today we recap how dad’s should treat the boyfriend, what it means to be an involved parent on social media, and who pays for a date.

Brian explains what a two-top table is; just in case anyone was unclear that this is a seating arrangement for two people.

Heather also wants to know about returning engagement rings, and we learn some women give back family heirlooms while others feel no obligation to do so.

Chryssy gives Heather a chance to weigh in on a wild topic she missed out on discussing on Not Quite Therapy. Tune in to find out what it was.

If you missed any of the first nine episodes of the season, here’s the nutshell version. Go back and listen to them, and catch up on side commentary here.

Until next time.

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Watching wildlife has got Heather thinking about real-life survival stories, like this one about what happened when six kids were shipwrecked on a Pacific island for over a year, like a scene out of Lord of the Flies. But with a better ending.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/may/09/the-real-lord-of-the-flies-what-happened-when-six-boys-were-shipwrecked-for-15-months

Humans are funny when they have to get creative and save their sanity, and that leads to some of Heather's favorite new words. She enjoys quizzing Chryssy about the meaning of words like quarantini, doomschooling, and covidiots, which makes Chryssy feel a little coronallusional and she wants to change the subject.

So we do. And we talk about possibly the most disgusting combination of words since, well, never mind. Anyhoo, it's skin hunger. We're sorry. It had to be done. Read more here, or better yet, listen to this episode.

https://www.insidehook.com/daily_brief/health-and-fitness/skin-hunger-social-distancing

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/skin-hunger-coronavirus-human-touch

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We discuss a beautifully written article in which an older woman discusses her feelings in these Covid times. You can access it here. https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/05/02/elderly-woman-coronavirus-lonely-expendable/?arc404=true

Chryssy gives us a WAY over the top mama bear story, and then highly recommends you download the app Marco Polo. Big shout out to Jessi at MC for the most amazing customer support ever.

We wrap up with talking about deception online, and the questionable ethics of some. Here’s a link to a story that will really make you think about the truth or lack thereof in what you see and read. Plus, it features Carole Baskin.

https://mashable.com/video/carole-baskin-youtube-prank-jimmy-fallon-interview/?utm_campaign=mash-com-tw-main-link&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=social&utm_content=entertainment

Until next time!

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But since there is work to be done, let's get into it. Should she answer an ad that she noticed on Facebook, seeking out new FB friends? At what point is it okay to delete the friends you have and start over? 

Which begs the question.... how do you know if you are the kind of person worth being friends with? Heather wonders: what makes someone good or bad? Can it be known with just one simple test? 

Are You a Good Person? Find out here - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201609/how-know-if-you-are-good-person

What Makes Someone Toxic? https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/heres-how-to-tell-if-someone-is-a-toxic-person-in-first-5-minutes.html

Which one are you? Listen and learn, friends. Listen and learn. 

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Chryssy suggests, if you’re feeling a little down, that you watch John Krasinski’s Some Good News. Latest episode here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IweS2CPSnbI

We have a spirited discussion about PPP loans and survival of the fittest. Here’s the article that sparked the conversation - https://www.forbes.com/sites/sarahhansen/2020/04/23/ruths-chris-steak-house-returns-20-million-ppp-loan-as-treasury-issues-new-guidance/#46a3d10a6ef7

Chryssy reminds us that Mother’s Day is coming, and that it’s not a joyous day for everyone. She wrote an article about it last year, and offers it to you here - https://medium.com/@chryssymoor/dead-moms-club-65a953f851a0

Last but not least, we talk about weight loss surgery, but more importantly about the internal healing and learning to ask for help that make real personal change possible. Here’s a 5 years ago v. now pic of Chryssy. Same hat!

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She tries to remind us that there is still a lot to celebrate, and recommends checking out this 3-minute video when you need to connect with your trailblazer self. Or even if you don't. http://www.trendingly.com/pacific-crest-trail?fbclid=IwAR3wa8T1_KcwExmI6BSzqYMDvpcaKcNZurIPwK9pW7kSAXdeeXdDWy1syKA

Thanks Halfway Anywhere travel blog for the inspiration!   https://www.halfwayanywhere.com/ 

And, let's be honest, parenting during quarantine (or as H calls it, "QP") ain't for sissies. Kids are getting REAL. And when that happens, Heather wonders... what are your kids' manners like? What manners do you expect? What are your hospitality pet peeves? They get into it. 

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Then Heather has some advice for how to pass the time during quarantine with two recommendations for video games, which she has not actually played but have observed and is now a semi-expert about.

In a True Confession, Heather reveals what item missing from her kitchen during quarantine finally sent her into the outside world, and the sheepish satisfaction she gained from a purchase from our local small business friend Liz at Lucky and Charmed for her hand-made face masks. We think everyone should order one!

And then Heather has the big questions - are you a good tipper? The girls and Producer Jon discuss the new rules for tipping, from fancy resorts to coffee to street musicians and everything in between. Are you tipping enough? Do you always tip? When do you not tip? We've got it figured out - kind of.

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So naturally, we have to talk about it.

First, just, WHY? What do you get out of sending unsolicited, unanswered messages to women?

Also, does this happen to men? Producer Jon (and, via text message, Hot Brian) weigh in on this.

We look to other “good men” for opinion, too – and learn a host of obvious things and some novel stuff, too.

That’s the meat of the show (pun completely intended), but there’s also a quick job into making reasonable choices, keeping it real, keeping the swing of the pendulum of life in check, and a few sick burns by Heather.

Until next time!

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It turns out that in addition to running the state of New York, Gov. Andrew Cuomo also gives excellent parenting advice, including how to avoid Natural Defiance Syndrome. You'll want to hear this!

With all of the kids on social media for everything from school work to play dates, Heather is curious to know.... what happens when you don't like your kids' friends?

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You may have noticed something different around here. New name, new art, new intro . . .

WELCOME TO SEASON 2.

The Chryssy and Heather Show has become How To Do Life (with Chryssy and Heather).

Today we will introduce you to the updated format, some new segments, and some fun sound. Don’t fret, my pets, if you loved the show before. Now, it’s just even prettier.

Chryssy thought, as the lucky host who gets to introduce our changes, that she should take us for a test drive of all the segments we know. It seemed a great idea to add some new forms of fun, too, so today we take a rollick through ELEVEN different segments. From Heather’s Headlines to your new HOMEWORK assignment, your ears are on alert.

Topically today, we revisit superstition. Chryssy mentions one that Heather has never heard of. Next up we talk home school and travel during the COVID-19 era.

We land at a grab bag about social discord, and talk through some things that are dividing our country right now. We also talk about how to use social discord for growth rather than further division.

The ladies believe this was perhaps the most prepared they have ever been for an episode. A lot of work and thought and joy went into our changes for you, and we sincerely hope you enjoy this variation of a theme you’ve come to love.

Until next time.

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But, Chryseather fans, what ensued is indeed what often ensues on the Chryssy and Heather Show, our faithful hosts just talked about what was on their minds.

Chryssy hosts today, a term she uses loosely for this episode. She introduces us to her friend Hot Brian, who will – once a month – join the ladies to add some guy perspective to the show.

Chryssy declared proudly that she didn’t want to talk about the coronavirus, but she wanted to bring a new topic this week. She had grand, though unhatched, plans for this episode in which there would be robust discussion surrounding art’s ability to lessen pain. She wanted to bring several examples of levity through the art of stand-up comedy, urging you to check out Neal Brennan and Daniel Sloss (both available on Netflix, Sloss’ most recent show, X, is available on HBO).

She’d also planned to take a spin into music, and how music can make hard things easier. The plan was to point you to the Enimen / Ed Sheeran collaboration “River,” but the show never quite got there!

And that’s because we took a spin into what was more interesting for our cohort today! We glossed over the silly – how we organize the home pages of our cell phones – and the serious – how we use humor to deflect from insecurity, and how past hurts shape who we are today.

And somehow, it was just a fun conversation. We hope you enjoy it. And we hope you’re around for the next 50.

Until next time.

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Then the girls bring in Producer Jon, or PJ as he may become to be known, to share his tips for a successful and fun family zoom. Check out some of these links to ideas to upgrade your virtual friend and family gatherings during quarantine.

https://www.twoscotsabroad.com/zoom-video-conference-ca

ll-games/

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/coronavirus-games-zoom-houseparty-facetime-quiz-charades-bingo-video-chat-a9430326.html

Heather and her little one have been bonding on the couch lately, watching their newest obsession, the binge-worthy international sensation, obstacle course reality show, Ultimate Beastmaster:  https://www.netflix.com/title/80095299 . It will inspire you to get super fit and spend hours on your couch at the same time.

She also recommends that Chryssy indulge herself in 100 Humans, a show that explores human behavior. Chryssy is skeptical, a response which Heather may or may not turn into a future podcast episode. Check it out:  https://www.netflix.com/title/80215997  

And that brings us to the grab bag topic of this show: human behavior (of course, what else does Heather ever talk about?) and superstitions. We explore the top 13 (duh) superstitions, including the ones we believe in and think are hooey. Would YOU return a car with 666 on the license plate?

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We talk about how experiences with past trauma has helped us develop the skills we need to adapt to this new weird world.

Heather shares three steps for learning how to dance with the weird, and wonders who will make the best use of the opportunities provided by COVID-19. We contemplate what kind of normal we are ready to go back to...and whether we will.

This episode ended up being a little heavy for a Friday, but we know you can handle it. After all, now you know how to dance!

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Well hello from the Quarantine Chronicles!

Chryssy opens the show with an apology for being late on our commitments to you during this crisis and for posting so incessantly (PAY ATTENTION TO ME!)

Today we get into it, which is the Chryssy and Heather way, but we also talk about getting on with it. We are living in a strange time, but it’s time to keep living.

We are entering a new normal, one that comes with uncertainty. There is a sadness in losing our old lifestyle, but also a joy in simplicity anew. We are proud to be adapting, and we talk about some of the ways we are starting to adapt.

There’s a soapbox about self-consciousness. It’s time to let that go. Take care of yourself however you need to right now. You have permission, and a judgment free zone.

Chryssy’s “For Your Eyes Only” for this show said we were going to talk about grief. But she wasn’t really feeling it and it seems you weren’t really either. So, we did a quick Chryssy’s cursory Google search that landed us here –

Megan O’Rourke – The Long Goodbye

Joan Didion – The Year of Magical Thinking (and a Netflix piece about her called The Center Will Not Hold – good stuff)

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/ - The 5 Stages of Grief (a summary)

https://whatsyourgrief.com/types-of-grief/ - This site talks about types of grief, including ‘collective grief,’ which is what we are experiencing today.

The grab bag today harkened back to a much earlier episode, “Yucky Stuff Your Mom Made You Eat (Episode 5).” Now that Chryssy and Heather have become cooks at home, we talked about how domestic life is coming along and what we are attempting to feed our children.

This episode turned out fairly light and tongue-in-cheek, and we are happy to present that to you, not only because it’s what we promise you, Chryseather fans, but because it means we are feeling better – we are still committed to only giving you what’s REAL.

Until next time.

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Really, though, we talk about television on this episode. We muse about the movie “Idiocracy” a good deal, and gloss over more important things, like Angela Merkle’s address of Germany. Chryssy gives us a brief NBA rundown, for those missing b-ball, and she also advises we should watch “Falling For a Killer,” a series about Ted Bundy (because we all aren’t already scared enough currently, right?”

The grab bag takes a weird spin into women’s equality and what women versus men deem “essential.”

Somehow along we way, we discuss mental health and anxiety, too.

This essence of this episode is that “we’re all in this together,” and we sincerely hope there is comfort in that, friends.

Until next time.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.