Before I started my research, I had the same sense that most people who lived through the seventies did (though I had barely started solid food when Nixon went home in disgrace).

In short, I thought he was an unpleasant, criminal douchebag who disgraced the highest office in the land. Good riddance, former President Nixon, I thought while I watched Sesame Street and waited for someone to change my diaper. Off to California with you.

Boy was I wrong.

This series about all our best trainwrecks will be quite the revelation.

For all of us.

I hope you enjoy it, and thank you as always for your continued support. I couldn’t do this without you. 

Help out the show!

https://www.patreon.com/c/historystrainwrecks

https://buymeacoffee.com/historystrain

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And I wrote a book about ancient Rome, because I just can't help myself. And it's got footnotes!

Stay tuned for that, and our first episode of All Star History's Trainwrecks - Richard Nixon.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This unholy trinity of general slimeballs—General Horatio Gates, General Thomas Mifflin, and General Thomas Conway—had schemed to get rid of George Washington, his best generals, his staff of wunderkind (Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, and the Marquis de Lafayette), and then take over the Continental Army, which was huddled at Valley Forge in the winter of 1778.

George Washington proved himself to be no slouch at politics, using a combination of judicious silence, imposing dignity, and a Congressional delegation that came to visit the army’s winter headquarters and see for itself what was really going on to cut the cabal off at the knees.

With all that behind him and the weather getting better, George had to turn his attention to planning a campaign. There was a universal expectation that the army would spring out of its winter quarters (pun intended) and take the fight to the British. The Howe brothers were homeward bound, a new commanding general was appointed (Henry Clinton), and the French were on their way to help out.

But was the army ready for a fight?

Support the show on our Patreon page and check out The Secret Life of Canada Podcast!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The remaining officers are squabbling amongst themselves and the Congress is nearly no use at all, having fallen under the sway of the slimy and traitorous Conway Cabal. This band of cowardly malefactors has one goal—remove George Washington and his generals and take over the Continental Army.

Along the way, they also come up with a plan to invade and conquer Canada, that longstanding pipe dream of the American Revolution.

So this episode comes with, at long last, an official apology from the History’s Trainwrecks Podcast to the country of Canada.

We tried. We failed. We’re cool now, though, right?

Please support us on our Patreon page, and check out The Secret Life of Canada Podcast!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The year 1777 had been a lousy one for the American cause—Washington couldn’t seem to decisively win a battle against the British (who held the American capital of Philadelphia), other generals were actively conspiring to have Washington removed and replaced by themselves (most notably Horatio Gates, who actually had won a decisive battle against the British at Saratoga), Congress was in exile, unable to raise the money needed to keep the army fed and supplied, and it was winter.

The good news about winter was that armies tended to avoid campaigning when it was cold. The bad news was that it was cold (see the part above about no shoes).

So the situation was dire. The whole thing left me thinking that the army’s prospects were not good at all. The safe bet was on the British to win.

Since I don't know much about military history or strategy, I've brought in a special guest to help out.

Cullen Farrell is a co-host of the Drinks With Great Minds In History Podcast, a world history teacher, and a poet. Check out the links below for all the places you can find him:

Drinks With Great Minds In History Podcast

Cullen's Historical Poetry

If you want to help keep the trainwrecks on the tracks, try our new $1 per month Patreon support level.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Its an inspiring story, one that should definitely not be lost on modern-day Americans. The enemy held the high ground, American unity was at a low point, and winter was coming. The cause of the United States hung in the balance, and everything was at stake.

There’s a contest in the middle of the episode, an easy question perhaps for you devoted listeners, and we look forward to a special guest on our next episode who knows stuff about history and isn’t obsessed with grumpy historical curmudgeons.

Thank you for your support, and for spreading the word about our little history nerdfest. 

We've added a $1 per month support level at https://www.patreon.com/historystrainwrecks

Support the Valley Forge Project at https://www.valleyforgeproject.org/

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of whom you’ve never heard of.

Jerry does this because no president accomplishes anything alone. The President of the United States is at the top, but he needs someone to run foreign policy, handle the money, and keep an eye on the army as well as all the ships at sea.

This was never more true than in the early days of the American Republic, before presidents figured out how things worked and relied on these early Cabinet secretaries to define the departments of the Executive Branch and figure out how they were supposed to work, and what they were supposed to be doing. All the while dealing with things like economic calamities and wars, both declared and undeclared.

We know about some of these early Cabinet secretaries, like Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe, who went on to be President themselves, and Alexander Hamilton, because of a certain Broadway play. But Jerry digs into the lesser-known ones, in many cases those who have never really been studied by historians.

Why? Because without them, America would have been in trouble.

Jerry seems to like talking about Navy Secretaries with me, despite my penchant for seasickness and me having no idea about how boats work. This is my second time as a guest on Seat at the Table, and it is our second Secretary of the Navy—William Jones, who served during the War of 1812.

Jerry also likes to keep the identity of the Cabinet member a secret from his guest, which adds to the suspense, but doesn’t make me look in the least bit knowledgeable. So I have to make things up as I go.

This is something you long-time listeners of History’s Trainwrecks may be acquainted with.

Take a listen to the story of one of the early Navy Secretaries and why they mattered so much to the early American Republic.

Check out the Presidencies of the United States Podcast - https://www.presidenciespodcast.com/

And The Valley Forge Project - https://www.valleyforgeproject.org/

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author Kelly Stone Gamble’s historical novel Ragtown tells the story of the dam and the desperate people who lived in its shadow. It’s a great story and great history.

Ragtown is available for preorder now and releases on September 12, 2023.

Check out the links below to get your copy of Ragtown and check out Kelly’s other books.

https://www.amazon.com/Ragtown-Kelly-Stone-Gamble-ebook/dp/B0CCF5PV4Y

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Kelly-Stone-Gamble/author/B00JIPDBMW

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Colonel William Barton had a plan to fix everything.

Please support our show on the History's Trainwrecks Patreon page - https://www.patreon.com/historystrainwrecks and support our sponsor - The Valley Forge Project, which wants to amend the U.S. Constitution to eliminate corporate money from politics and term-limit Congress to twelve years. Check out https://www.valleyforgeproject.org to see how you can help.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Like big-city mobsters two centuries later, George Washington’s second in command had discovered that New Jersey was a great place to lay low if someone was after you.

Charles had a lot of people after him in December 1776. First and foremost was the British Army, commanded in that area by Lord Charles Cornwallis. After a string of British successes against the Continentals in New York, it wasn’t George Washington the English high command was afraid of.

It was Charles Lee.

So the British send some dragoons to nab the general and take him prisoner. Which they do. Which makes quite a lot of Americans sad. And it inspires one American in particular to find a British officer of high enough rank to trade for General Lee. 

As luck would have it, he finds one.

Support our sponsor - The Valley Forge Project - https://valleyforgeproject.org

Help keep the trainwrecks on the tracks- https://www.patreon.com/historystrainwrecks

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Samantha Wilcoxson, author of the phenomenal Women of the American Revolution, joins me to talk about her book and see how the stories we've always been told about the women of the founding generation are really just the beginning.

In this book, you'll learn things you probably never knew about Martha Washington, Abigail Adams, Eliza Hamilton, and Dolley Madison, as well as some figures you may not have heard of like Ona Judge.

You can find Samantha Wilcoxson's books here:

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Samantha-Wilcoxson/author/B00IGVWSCI

And all her other shenanigans:

Blog https://samanthawilcoxson.blogspot.com/

Twitter https://twitter.com/carpe_librum

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/samantha_wilcoxson

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PlantagenetEmbers/

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/samanthajw

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/samantha_wilcoxson/

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I didn’t exactly HAVE a George Washington episode, but I knew someone who did.

If you’ve been listening for a while, you know that I am a huge fan of the Drinks With Great Minds in History Podcast. The show is not only lots of fun to listen to, but the host, Mr. DGMH, otherwise known as Zach Debacco, has a historical insight that I truly admire. His approach to his great minds in history is unique, and he comes up with brilliant revelations about these historical figures that I had never before considered.

It's a great show, and if you aren’t already subscribed to it, you should be. If it helps, I can tell you that Drinks With Great Minds in History is the only history podcast that Mrs. History’s Trainwrecks listens to.

With all that that implies.

Check out the Drinks With Great Minds in History Podcast . Cheers!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

But he doesn't take it. By the time of the second anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Charles is facing a court martial. He never commands troops in the field again.

Being Charles, he goes on the attack against Washington and the Congress, which doesn't work out for him.

We reach the end of our series on Charles Lee, and talk about what makes him such a historical trainwreck.

Thanks for listening, and click here to support the show!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Second in command Charles Lee had checked into a tavern and sent his dogs and his army down the road a ways. With only a few guards and a dirty shirt, he was cooling his heels while waiting to decide to follow Washington's orders to join up with him.

In the meantime, British General Cornwallis, who was way more scared of Lee than Washington, sent Charles's old regiment of dragoons to find him and capture him.

Which they did. Merry Christmas, Charles...

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The British had taken New York and had George Washington's army on the run. They had a massive force pointed right at Philadelphia, the American capital. The Continental Congress had placed their hopes in one man to swoop in and save them.

And it was NOT George Washington.

This gave General Charles Lee the idea that he could be the man of the hour, and then take George Washington's job away from him.

As long as he didn't run out of time.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks Patreon page and thanks for listening!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Then he was ordered to New York, which was under serious threat from the British, and where he would be, for the first time in his Revolutionary War service, under the command of someone else. 

This wasn't one of Charles's strong suits. But his luck was holding, and he was greeted in New York as the savior of the cause. 

George Washington's luck, on the other hand, was pretty bad. The British had him trapped between a massive army and navy, and the Continentals were suffering major setbacks. Plus, he had to listen to the cheers of his men when the most battle-tested general in the army showed up. 

But George's luck was going to change come December. He was going to have a great Christmas. 

Charles Lee, on the other hand, was not. 

If you've enjoyed this episode, please rate the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast outpost. Click here to support our Patreon page, which is a great way to keep the trainwrecks on the tracks and get access to fun bonus content.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After the British abandoned Boston, their next move was unclear. The Continentals believed that the next attack would either hit Canada, New York City, or the Southern colonies.

It is worth noting that new General Charles Lee was appointed to each of these commands. He became the early Revolution's troubleshooter.

And there was a lot of trouble to shoot.

There were British Loyalists, runaway slaves, poorly equipped and trained Continental militia, and civilian governments who didn't seem to realize that the British were about to rain hell and damnation down on them.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Click here to support us on Patreon!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That guy knew EVERYBODY.

As we’ve seen in prior episodes, Charles was pals with a few kings and kings-in-waiting like Stanislaus of Poland, Frederick I of Prussia and his son, future king Frederick Wilhelm, as well as Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II. He wasn’t a fan of King George III, but still managed to get a meeting with him.

Like any modern-day Wall Street capitalist on the make, Charles Lee could ALWAYS get the meeting.

With all these movers and shakers on his side, Charles was a front-runner for one of the top jobs in the upcoming war with Britain: Commander in Chief of the Continental Army. 

But there was ANOTHER fellow who also wanted the job, and he was willing to overlook the fact that Charles still owed him fifteen bucks from that time he and his dogs mooched at Mount Vernon and made Martha mad.  

Click here to support History's Trainwrecks.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It didn’t start when he joined the Continental Army in 1775. Charles was predisposed to crabbiness. His father was a British major general and his mother was descended from landed gentry. He was the youngest child, and the only son to survive to adulthood. A place of stature had been carved out for Charles, and he meant to have it.

He pursued a career in the British Army and served in the colonies during the French and Indian War, where he met George Washington and Thomas Gage. When the war was over he went adventurin', getting into duels, hanging out with kings, and sticking it to the Ottoman Empire, which is always a good idea. 

But his complaining, about his superiors in the army and THEIR superior, King George III, meant that England was a bit too hot for Charles. So he and his little dog went to America to see what kind of trouble they could get into. 

Which in part meant, just maybe, being appointed commander of the Continental Army instead of George Washington. 

Click here to support the show and thanks for listening!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John Adams thought so, and lots of later historians agreed. Washington had the qualities the country needed at the time - dignity, gravitas, and integrity. He was perceived to be above the kind of petty squabbles that would doom the newborn republic. 

But things very nearly didn't go his way. After his defeat at the Battle of New York in 1776, the war, and with it the Revolution, was nearly over. 

Had Washington not managed to get things back on track, there were a few other commanders who would have been quite happy to take the top spot. 

Help Support History's Trainwrecks!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don’t worry. Your favorite history podcast hasn’t suddenly turned into a true crime show. Neither has this one.

There are few viable ways to stop a dictator. Julius Caesar and a disturbingly large number of Roman emperors were assassinated in order to end their reigns. Benito Mussolini’s execution and subsequent “corpse dragged through the streets of Milan and hung upside down at a gas station” party was, I suppose, a modern expression of the ancient Roman tradition. Some well-timed deaths, like those of Genghis Khan, Tamerlane, Attila the Hun, and Adolf Hitler, put an end to bloody autocrats. Once they have amassed ultimate power, legitimate means of removing them disappear. Even tangential methods, or what I like to call paper traps—tax fraud and other types of accounting or regulatory crimes—didn’t hold out much hope and took way too long to suit anyone. 

And so it came to pass in the mid-1930’s in Louisiana, people started to talk openly about killing Huey Long.

Huey was killed by an assassin's bullet. His last words were "God, don't let me die. I have so much to do."

He died on September 10, 1935, but his political machine controlled Louisiana politics until the 1960's. His son served in his father's Senate seat from 1948 to 1987. 

His legacy in Louisiana lives on. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Huey's own dictatorial behavior was costing him support among the people of the state, so he took his show on the road, appealing to masses of poor Americans and fueling the fire for a 1936 presidential run.

FDR's Justice Department started investigating Huey's financial shenanigans, a trick that had worked on Al Capone, but that was taking too long.

Something permanent was going to have to be done about Louisiana's Senator, and his enemies started making assassination plans.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you guess who it is?

Check out the Beyond The Big Screen Podcast at the link below.

https://www.atozhistorypage.com/beyond-the-big-screen/

George McClellan

Aaron Burr

Marcus Crassus

Douglas MacArthur

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One day, historian and podcaster Steve Guerra, host of the Beyond the Big Screen Podcast, asked me what I call The Big Question: of all the trainwrecks you’ve studied so far, who is on your top ten list of all time?

It gave us the opportunity to better define a historical trainwreck, and it got us thinking about who wasn’t on the list and who should be.

Long time listeners of this show may not be surprised at the list, but then again…maybe you will.

Check out the Beyond The Big Screen Podcast at the link below.

https://www.atozhistorypage.com/beyond-the-big-screen/

Richard Nixon

Theodore Roosevelt

Cato the Younger

Philip II of Spain

Huey Long

Herbert Hoover

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He stormed into the world’s greatest deliberative body in 1932 after it had already been in session for two months. In a room full of men in dour blue suits, Huey wore “flashy brown tweeds, beautiful white shirts of the finest fabric with his monogram embroidered on one sleeve, a bright red silk necktie, and, according to one chastising reporter, ‘a handkerchief regrettably on the pink side.”

It wasn’t long, pun intended, before the Senate figured out that they had a real problem on their hands.

But soon enough there was another fellow in the capital who was even more worried about the storm from the bayou.

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

No one seemed to take Huey very seriously in the Roosevelt camp except for FDR himself. “The people are jumpy and ready to run after strange gods,” he wrote. “It’s all very well for us to laugh over Huey, but actually we have to remember all the time that he really is one of the two most dangerous men in the country. We shall have to do something about him.”

Franklin Roosevelt was certainly a visionary. He knew things for sure long before others came around to his point of view. He saw Huey Long as a self-obsessed man with huge ambitions who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted, even if it meant damaging the country. Like challenging Roosevelt for the nomination in 1936 or running as an independent, splitting the Democratic vote, and throwing the country to the Republicans for four years so that Huey could win the White House in 1940.

Which, as it turns out, was exactly what Huey Long was planning to do.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Benjamin Franklin had been summoned to the Cockpit, a room King Henry VIII had once used for cockfighting, to appear before the King’s Privy Council in late January 1774. His ostensible purpose for being there was to deal with a petition sent by the Massachusetts colony to have their governor removed, but with the colonists getting all uppity and turning Boston Harbor into the world’s biggest teapot, the Council was going to take out all of its pent-up frustration with their cranky subjects on America’s best-known representative. 

The King's Solicitor General unleashed a tirade on Franklin, taking an hour to ruin his reputation in London. Before the Cockpit, Benjamin Franklin had been working for both sides in the conflict between England and America. After, he was only working for one. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s inescapable. The Greek city-states, the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, monarchies and religious wars, the Enlightenment that led to the establishment of constitutional democracies, the growth of superpowers.

Regionalism and factionalism and schisms and wars. If you study history, you’ve seen all this before.

This is one of the 257 reasons I’m not allowed to watch the news. I tend to rant, drawing historical parallels between today’s America and yesterday’s. It scares the dogs.

My wife said no more watching the news.

So the dogs and I started a new podcast, where I get to rant about all the things that bother me about 21st century politics. That’ll teach her.

For all you History’s Trainwrecks listeners, I’m putting out the first episode here. The rest will be available wherever you get your podcasts.

I hope you like it. And I hope we can find a way forward, politically-speaking.

Because if we’ve learned anything from history, it’s that situations like the ones we keep finding ourselves in do not end well.

Check out the first ever episode of I’m Not Allowed To Watch The News.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Great Britain was the world’s foremost military power, which meant it had bills to pay. The American colonies were prosperous, what with all their self-starting go-getterism, so Parliament and the king decided they should bear some of the financial burden of being subjects of the world’s foremost military power.

England did, after all, kick the French out of Canada and the land east of the Mississippi, which opened all that territory for development by the colonists.

Here’s your bill, said the King.

The resulting taxes got the colonists all in an uproar. Things were set on fire and Boston Harbor was turned into the world's biggest tea kettle. 

Ben Franklin, the most famous American in the world, was in London, and he became a handy target for all the pent-up frustration the British Empire had with its uppity provincials. 

He was summoned to appear before the King's Privy Council in 1774 to take a beating in a room Henry VIII had once used for cockfights. The British Solicitor General spent an hour tearing Franklin to shreds.

Ben Franklin stood in silence the entire time. 

It is said that he went into the Cockpit an Englishman and came out an American.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No president can do it alone, and the early American Presidents alternately relied upon or avoided working with their Cabinet. In the early days of Federalists vs. Democratic Republicans, finding loyal Cabinet officers was rare. Benjamin Stoddert was one of the first and best.

And very few people have ever heard of him.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Huey amassed dictatorial control over Louisiana in a very short time. He survived impeachment, neutralized his remaining opponents, and won a Senate seat. He became a driver of hard bargains. “He is always trying to trade us a biscuit for a barrel of flour,” one of his vanquished opponents complained.

While the state and the country was deep in economic trouble, Huey held singular control over state jobs and lucrative contracts. The men who opposed him faced a stark choice: get on board with Huey Long or brace for financial disaster.

Huey’s biggest problem with being the “Kingfish” of Louisiana was that he couldn’t leave the state.

His lieutenant governor, Paul Cyr, kept trying to assume the governorship, taking advantage of any time Huey crossed out of the state. Once Huey won a Senate seat, Cyr figured his claim on the governor's chair was assured. 

We'll just have to see about that.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So did the Founding Fathers of the American Republic nearly two centuries later. Joseph Addison's play Cato was a huge hit in the colonies, inspiring, among others, George Washington.

Cato's inflexible commitment to freedom from tyranny and democratic principles became the template for America's leaders. The Founding Fathers, and their descendants, believed they were Catos. It was his example they aspired to, and the best of them fulfilled it. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

His best legions had mutinied while he was away in Egypt consorting with Queen Cleopatra. He had left Rome in the hands of less-capable surrogates for about a year, which gave the remaining Republican resistance time and space to fortify the North African city of Utica, under the careful management of Cato the Younger.

Caesar had had enough. It was time to finish this once and for all.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not that it didn’t have bigger problems. Pompey the Great, thinking the civil war was over, failed to capitalize on his victory at the Battle of Dyrrhachium, allowing Julius Caesar all the time he needed to regroup so they could meet again at the Battle of Pharsalus in August of 48 BC.

Pompey did not win the Battle of Pharsalus.

After his crushing defeat, he retreated to Egypt, thinking he could get troops and money by picking a side in the ongoing incestuous power struggle between Cleopatra and her brother-husband, one of the last of the Ptolemaic kings. He picked the wrong side, and the Egyptians sent his severed head to Caesar, hoping that he would pick a side in the ongoing incestuous power struggle between Cleopatra and her brother-husband.

Julius Caesar would indeed pick a side, but that is a trainwreck for later.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pompey the Great had a—well…great reputation as a commander, which his recruits and veterans alike could see for themselves. He trained and drilled right alongside them, and could swing a sword like a man half his age. But this time his troops weren’t just Romans—desperate times—and a civil war--had caused him to recruit men from the provinces instead of just Italy itself, and they were about to go to war against soldiers who had up until recently been on the same side.

If ever there was a time for an inspiring speech, this was it. 

After the Battle of Pharsalus in 48 BC, the Republic was now a resistance. It was a government in exile. With Cato at its head, Julius Caesar could be deprived of total victory, and Caesar knew it. The dictator could never rest easy on his throne while the standard-bearer of the institutions he was going to trample was still out there somewhere.

Cato and the Republic’s remnants went to Utica, to make Rome’s last stand. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marcus Tullius Cicero, former Roman consul, famed orator, Senator, and jurist, had been sent to govern the province of Cilicia, near modern-day Turkey. He had vanquished some roving bands of thieves, sent a Parthian reconnaissance force scurrying back to their territory, and stormed a hilltop fortress.

He didn’t equate himself with the two great generals circling Rome like tigers about to pounce—Julius Caesar and Pompey Magnus—but since his performance was pretty good for an intellectual egghead, Cicero thought he deserved a triumph.

Even though Rome was a year away from the total collapse of its ancient republic, this was just the kind of distraction that kept things spiraling down the drain. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The First Triumvirate was collapsing. Julia, the beloved daughter of Julius Caesar and adored wife of Pompey the Great, died in childbirth in 54 BC. Her daughter lived only a few days. Pompey fell into deep mourning, which was unusual. This was a time when upper-class marriages were only means to an end—forging political alliances, in the case of Pompey and Caesar, populating the Republic with more elite male citizens (especially in a time when infant mortality—and disposing of girl babies on trash heaps—was at an all time high), and propping up one’s bank account.

The upper classes of Rome made fun of Pompey behind his back because he was actually in love with his wife.

With her death, Pompey was sidelined for a while by grief and the thin bonds tying him to Caesar, his rival for power, were gone.

Love is powerful, and should never be underestimated. 

Cato the Younger is once more behind the times, finally realizing the truth about Pompey and Caesar, and what it means for the Roman Republic.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was 55 BC, and the Floral Games were in full…um…bloom. The Games were the culmination of a week-long festival celebrating fertility, with the usual accompanying shenanigans: outrageous dress, lots of drinking, prostitutes being treated like queens, and a troupe of dancing girls in an amphitheatre reminding the spectators of the rites of spring.

A message came down to Cato where he was seated in the crowd. The spectators wanted “to encourage the girls to take off their clothes, but are embarrassed to do so with Cato watching.”

Cato got up from his seat without a word and went for the exit. A chronicler reports that “As he was leaving, the crowd loudly applauded him and then went back to their usual theatrical pleasures.”

The spectators catcalled, the dancers disrobed, “and the Floral Games went on.”

This scene captures the feeling Rome had for the man who was their moral compass. They didn’t want him to see them at their low points, but instead of rising to the high ground that Cato had staked out for himself, they just wanted him to be somewhere else. They were “eager to applaud him for leaving, unwilling to follow him out.”

If we can equate the dismantling of the Republic with some dancing girls stripping to the buff, the same scenario plays out: Rome would embrace empire, shamefully, as long as Cato wasn’t watching them as they did it, reminding them the entire time that they could have done better. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In 62 BC, Publius Clodius figured that the best way to get close to Pompeia—Mrs. Caesar—was to dress as a female lute player and worm his way into the Good Goddess ceremony. This religious rite was only attended by women and was being hosted by Caesar’s wife.

Clodius was found out when he spoke to a maid in a deep baritone voice and was eventually caught hiding under a bed. Caesar divorced his wife, asserting that “Caesar’s wife must be above reproach.”

Which she was.

Clodius was hauled into court on charges of “sacrilege and sexual immorality.” Cicero got involved in the case because his wife believed he was having an affair with Clodius’s sister. In order to defend himself, Cicero had to testify that he had seen Clodius in Rome on the day of his offense, which destroyed the alibi Clodius had offered—that he was out of town on the day of his cross-dressing.

Clodius was acquitted, thanks to bribes paid to the jurors by Rome’s rich crime lord Crassus. But his reputation, and with it his political future, was ruined. Instead of the many others Clodius could have blamed for the debacle—well, really just himself—he set the whole thing at Cicero’s feet, despite the fact that Cicero’s involvement in the whole sordid mess was insignificant.

I sure hope Clodius doesn’t find his way to any kind of political power any time soon. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the space of two years he had managed to get on the wrong side of Julius Caesar, Rome’s up and coming populist leader, Pompey the Great, Rome’s greatest living general, Marcus Crassus, Rome’s richest man, and Marcus Tullius Cicero, who had been Rome’s most recent consul, and for a few minutes there, the man with near-absolute power over the state during the Catiline Conspiracy.

Stubborn sticks in the mud like Cato are not impressed with anyone. This is what makes them formidable.

And dangerous.

Caesar, Pompey and Crassus were on a path to power that would ultimately end the Roman Republic.

Cato the Younger was standing firmly in their way, and he had to go. One way or another. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On one side were the empire-builders: Julius Caesar and his right-hand man Marc Antony (and sickly little Octavian in the next tent), Pompey the Great, and Marcus Crassus, who wanted to be great himself but never quite got there.

On the other side were Marcus Tullius Cicero, Rome’s greatest orator, consul in 63 BC, dictator during the Catiline Conspiracy, and all-around clever guy. At his side was Rome’s greatest conservative and champion of ancient ideals, Cato the Younger.

They also had in their corner—at least on paper--the cowardly Roman Senate, but being cowardly--and venal--the Senate was always kind of a moving target. They could be bought and they could be intimidated, and the empire-builders had money and soldiers to burn.

It was a contest between military power, which the Romans had always admired, and republican traditions, which the Romans had always revered. But the citizens of the republic saw their ideals go to the Senate house to die more often than not, and might be willing to take a chance on a smooth operator like Caesar, who claimed to be a staunch defender of the republic even as he quietly dismantled it.

Cicero and Cato had their work cut out for them.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Their fate, his own poor health, and watching from the sidelines while the President of the United States covered himself in glory had him down in the dumps. But the election of 1920 promised a good chance of his returning to the White House.

If only he could make it.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Teddy had made multiple requests to War Secretary Newton Baker, asking permission to raise a division of volunteers, with himself as a major general, "to put our flag on the firing line."

But what Wilson actually feared was that Teddy, upon his arrival in Europe, would be drafted into chairing a peace conference. By 1916 the military situation had reached a stalemate of trench warfare and pointless killing. The Germans had made some initial peace overtures. 

If the man who had successfully negotiated an end to the Russo-Japanese War only a decade earlier showed up, the "vital hold which personalities like Roosevelt have on popular imagination," as Georges Clemenceau told Wilson, might just get all the warring parties to the peace table and end the war. 

Woodrow Wilson, who lacked Teddy's "vital personality" and international stature, did all he could to keep Teddy home. 

If Teddy couldn't fight, he was going to send his four sons in his place. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The country, with either Woodrow Wilson or Charles Evans Hughes destined for the White House, was “in the hands of two aloof and cagey deliberators. Wilson and Hughes were men who waited for events to happen and then reacted.” Teddy saw things coming, and got ready.

But as happened in 1912, Teddy allowed his candidacy, and his potential third term, to be derailed in the “smoke-filled room” of the nominating convention. He let party insiders, many with presidential ambitions of their own, talk him out of running, and he surely didn’t help himself by doing the same thing he accused Wilson of doing in Mexico: taking one step forward and two steps back. 

He forgot that his true power came from the American people. In time of war, the best argument to get or retain the presidency was experience in office—it was an argument Teddy’s “fifth cousin by blood and nephew by marriage” would use decades later to win four terms in the White House. In 1916, only two men had the kind of experience the country knew it needed—Wilson and Roosevelt.

But Teddy allowed his emotions to get in the way, and his political shrewdness and canny assessment of the mood of the people was lost in a wave of self-pity. 1904 Theodore Roosevelt went after what he knew to be best for the nation. 1916 Teddy waited to be asked, not by the people, but by cynical party insiders. And he let his temper get the best of him.

As President Wilson had once said about Teddy, “The way to treat an adversary like Roosevelt is to gaze at the stars over his head.”

Woodrow Wilson’s chances in 1916 were looking pretty good.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marcus Tullius Cicero was consul for the year 63 BC, and thanks to the aforementioned storm, was a virtual dictator. But he had a number of problems, and he was going to use Cato the Younger to try and solve them.

Here’s the thing: it wasn’t just one storm.

Cato ran for his first office in 67 BC—military tribune. This would put him in command of a legion of about four thousand troops and pave his way to a Senate seat when his year was up.

He campaigned for his first office at a time when the average Roman-on-the-street was feeling pretty nervous about the state of the Republic. Rome’s success had come, in part, from its ability to learn and adapt, to see what worked and make it their own. Military formations and tactics, education, politics, engineering, territorial conquest and management—the Romans were great learners. The problem was that the lessons currently being taught were the ones that would ultimately end the Republic.

He won his election and went to take command. Like his famous great-grandpa, he shared his men's hardships and they loved him for it. 

When the year was up, he went back to Rome and took over the Treasury, calling in old debts and paying off others. But his moral handling of the public trust didn't survive past his term in office. 

Back in the throes of corruption, a new populist arose - Catiline - who proposed cancelling all debts and redistributing land to the poor. The elite of Rome freaked out, and backed another "man of the people" candidate to beat him - Cicero, Rome's greatest orator. 

But Catiline didn't give up, and planned to take the city by force.

Cicero and Cato were going to have to team up to stop him. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He wanted to expand a road-building program and build a new massive state capitol building as a lasting monument to his reign. The legislature (and Huey's own brother) opposed the plan, so Huey had to come up with a way to persuade them, and make sure he retained power.

His answer: he was going to run for the United States Senate.

But there were two men who had damaging secrets about the governor, and something had to be done about them before the election.

So Huey had them kidnapped.

Thanks for listening and your support of the History's Trainwrecks Podcast.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fidel Castro had come to power in Cuba in 1959, planting a Communist country right on America’s back porch. Having a Soviet satellite ninety miles away from American soil was, shall we say, troubling.

The Eisenhower Administration approved a CIA plan to train Cuban exiles and provide them with weapons and air support for an invasion of the island. The expectation was that the Cuban people would rise up in rebellion and topple the Castro regime.

The train went off the tracks pretty early. Despite efforts to keep the mission a secret, the invasion plan was widely known among the Cuban community in Miami. Castro’s intelligence service found out about the training camps the CIA had set up in Guatemala, and some of the details of the plans made it into the press.

Fidel Castro was not going to be surprised. 

President John F. Kennedy authorized the invasion, which was a massive failure that resulted in 1200 prisoners ending up in Castro's hands. He would let them go free, if the United States sent him five hundred heavy-duty tractors.

This was about to get interesting.

Thank you for listening, and your support of the History's Trainwrecks Podcast.

Support the show at our Patreon page - https://www.patreon.com/historystrainwrecks

Help save America by supporting The Valley Forge Project - https://www.valleyforgeproject.org/

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Like his African trip in 1909, Teddy’s journey to South America had a number of items on the agenda: scientific study of flora and fauna, the usual slaughter of native beasts for sport, and a way for him to make some money. He told his wife that he “expected to clear $20,000 over the next six months.”

And, like his African trip, Teddy was putting himself firmly in harm’s way. It’s not inconceivable that somewhere in his subconscious was the notion that he might end his life, which now seemed without purpose, in the midst of the kind of action that made him feel most alive.

Theodore Roosevelt did not think he should die in his sleep. He nearly got his wish on this post-election trip south of the equator. 

Thanks for listening and click here to support of the History's Trainwrecks Podcast.

https://www.historystrainwrecks.com/

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rome's problems didn't end when the dictator drank himself to death. 

Spartacus, a former slave and legionnaire, raised a huge rebel army in the city's back yard, the renegade general Sertorius had essentially taken over Spain, and annoying old Mithridates was taking a third swing at the Roman pinata. 

Cato the Younger found plenty of opportunity for career advancement in these tense times. 

But so did Julius Caesar. The two of them were now on a collision course. 

Click here to support the show on our Patreon page!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Huey Long was far more than just a guy who told the people what they wanted to hear. “There are smarter guys than I am,” he said, “but not in Louisiana.” By the end of his riotous reign, he had seized more personal control of the state than any other governor in its history.

He “orchestrated elections, padded voting lists, and directed the counting of ballots.” He assaulted the press with gag laws and oppressive tax increases. He used the state militia as his personal bodyguard and goon squad. He packed the courts, local governments, and state regulatory boards with his people.

He was untouchable.

Or so he thought.

Please leave us a review and click here to support the show on Patreon.

Sources

Long, Huey P. “Every Man a King: The Autobiography of Huey P. Long.” Hachette, 2008.

White, Richard D. “Kingfish: The Reign of Huey P. Long.” Random House, 2009.

Wikipedia, “Huey Long.” Retrieved October 17, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huey_Long

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today I’m presenting their interview with Dr. Andrew Reinhard, an archaeologist and Director of Publications at the American Numismatic Society. His career in Classics is a great story. Dr. Reinhard has had quite the interesting career, to say the least. He has also pioneered archeogaming, and discusses the challenges of being a historian who works with gaming companies.

Visit their website at www.theozymandiasproject.com , listen to the Ancient Office Hours podcast on Itunes, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher (RSS Feed), and follow them on their social media (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, and Youtube)

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John Schrank was thirty-six years old, unemployed, and unhinged. During the presidential campaign of 1912, “he read in two New York newspapers that the Colonel was determined to overthrow the Constitution.” It had been eleven years since the ghost of the slain President had pointed his finger at Roosevelt in Schrank’s nightmare and said, “This is my murderer, avenge my death.”

The time had come.

Presidential Safety Tip Number Two Hundred Fifty-Seven: President of the United States should always be the last job you ever have.

Teddy was getting ready to address a crowded auditorium in Milwaukee on October 14th, 1912. He had written his speech and folded it into his right jacket pocket. He left his hotel and went out to his open car and got seated. A crowd gathered, and he stood up to bow, waving his hat.

John Schrank, who had followed Teddy from New Orleans to Milwaukee, fired one shot, striking Teddy in the chest. One of Roosevelt's bodyguards, Elbert Martin, an ex-football player, tackled Schrank right when he fired, having seen the gun and rushed over.

Teddy had "dropped without a sound," and was feared dead, but he pulled himself up. He seemed unhurt, and asked Martin to bring the would-be assassin to the side of the car. "Don't hurt him," Teddy ordered. "Bring him here." Teddy took Schrank's head in both hands to see if he recognized him. All he saw was "the dull-eyed, unmistakable expressionlessness of insanity." He asked Schrank, "What did you do it for?" then, getting no answer, ordered his guards to turn Schrank over to the police.

Teddy told his guards that Schrank had "plinked" him. They tried to get him to go to the hospital. Teddy rasped, "You get me to that speech."

***

Teddy went on to speak for nearly an hour and half, tossing the sheets of his speech down as he reached the end of a page, as had always been his practice when giving speeches. (These pages were snapped up by the crowd as souvenirs. These were even better, as each page had a bullet hole in it). His aides stood waiting below to catch him if he passed out.

His face was white after eighty minutes, but he made it to the end of his speech. After that, amid the roaring and applause of the crowd, he told his doctor, "Now I am ready to go with you and do what you want."

He made it through the crowd, many of whom wanted to shake his hand and slap him on the back as if he didn't have a new bullet stuck in his ribs, and was checked in to Milwaukee's Emergency Hospital. The news of the assassination attempt flashed around the country. Edith Roosevelt was pulled out of her box at a theatre during the performance to be told. She said, "Take me to where I can talk to him or hear from him at once."

An X-ray found the bullet. After passing through Teddy's thick overcoat, fifty pages of his speech folded in half, his steel-reinforced spectacle case, his suspender belt, shirt and undershirt, the bullet still retained enough force to crack a rib. Two things had saved his life: the glasses he had needed since he was a small boy, and his penchant for giving long speeches.

Click here to support our show!

Sources

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Herbert Hoover’s name was mud.

By 1930, the Great Depression was in full swing. Fortunes had been lost, savings had been wiped out, and four million Americans were unemployed (a rate of nearly nine percent). President Hoover was widely perceived as being tone-deaf to both the gravity of the economic catastrophe and the suffering of average Americans.

A lot of things got named for Herbert Hoover. “Hoovervilles” were the shanty towns built on the outskirts of cities where homeless unemployed men and their families lived. There was a big one right in New York’s Central Park. The nation’s largest Hooverville, in St. Louis, had an unofficial mayor and built its own churches and other institutions.

There were also “Hoover blankets” (sheets of old newspaper used as blankets), “Hoover flags (empty pockets turned out), “Hoover leather” (cardboard placed in the soles of shoes to cover the holes) and “Hoover wagons” (automobiles hooked to teams of horses, their engines removed).

There was also, awkwardly enough, Hoover Dam.

Click here to check out "Ragtown" by Kelly Stone Gamble for a great tale about the people who built the dam.

If you liked the show, please click here to support us on Patreon!

Sources

American Experience, “The Controversial Naming of the Dam.” Retrieved August 22, 2021 from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/hoover-controversy/

Gamble, Kelly Stone. “Ragtown.” Retrieved September 19, 2021 from https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B094DXDLTC

Wikipedia, “Herbert Hoover.” Retrieved August 22, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Hoover

Wikipedia, “Hoover Dam.” Retrieved August 22, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoover_Dam

Wikipedia, “Hooverville.” Retrieved August 22, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hooverville

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Screaming matches and fistfights became distressingly normal, each disturbance another harbinger of defeat in November. By the end of the roll call, Taft had 567 delegates to Teddy’s 507. Ultimately, he was nominated with 561 votes.

Roosevelt’s supporters bolted to Orchestra Hall, where Teddy gave a speech that were the birth pains of a new party—the Progressive or Bull Moose Party. President Taft’s supporters were mute in their victory. The Republican split essentially guaranteed the Democrats would take the White House in the fall.

All that was left to do now was count the votes in November. 

If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen. And click here to support us on Patreon.

Sources

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “1912 Republican Party Presidential Primaries.” Retrieved September 11, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1912_Republican_Party_presidential_primaries

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wealth and power did what wealth and power usually does: it corrupted the political system. Rome’s money troubles, prevalent in the time of Cato the Elder (234-149 BCE) were over. The final defeat of Carthage in 146 BCE paved the way for further conquest in the Mediterranean, and the cash came rolling in.

Upper class Romans got land and slaves and money and seats in the Senate, which they used to consolidate their power and make sure that they stayed high while the lower classes stayed low. The excesses of the rich—sex scandals, wild parties, and the occasional recreational slave execution—earned them plenty of enemies among the lower classes.

There was a very clear sense that Rome was on the wrong track. 

Appointing a dictator seemed like one possible answer, but it ended up as these things usually do - with severed heads on pikes in the Forum. Rome needed an emergency brake.

Enter Cato the Younger. Plutarch says that, “even from his infancy, in his speech, his countenance, and all his childish pastimes, he discovered an inflexible temper, unmoved by any passion, and firm in everything.”

Just the kind of guy to become a thorn in the side of an autocrat.

Reign of Terror Safety Tip Number Two Hundred Fifty-Seven: Despots do not like persistent nagging.

If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review at Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts. Click here to support History's Trainwrecks on Patreon.

Duncan, Mike. “The Storm Before the Storm: The Beginning of the End of the Roman Republic.” Public Affairs, 2017.

Goodman, Rob and Soni, Jimmy. “Rome’s Last Citizen: The Life and Legacy of Cato, Mortal Enemy of Caesar.” St. Martin’s Press, 2012.

Wikipedia, “Cato the Elder.” Retrieved September 14, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cato_the_Elder.

Wikipedia, “Sulla.” Retrieved September 14, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sulla

Wikipedia, “Gaius Marius.” Retrieved September 14, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaius_Marius

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He had won the presidency in 1884 and 1892 (he also won the popular vote in 1888, but the Electoral College went to Benjamin Harrison), making him both the 22nd and 24th President of the United States.

He proved that it was possible to serve a term in the White House, take some time off, and then win again. The Democrats even tried to run him again in 1904, as if serving two terms in a row was for rank amateurs like James Monroe and Ulysses S. Grant.

When confronted by the notion that he couldn’t leave the White House for four years and then come back, Theodore Roosevelt had Grover to point to as an example. So maybe the debacle of the election of 1912 could have all been avoided if Grover had just stayed home after leaving the White House.

Not really. What happened in 1912 was all Teddy.

As usual when conflicted, Teddy was capable of enormous damage: “He wanted to destroy Taft because Taft had failed. He wanted Taft to succeed because Taft was an extension of himself. He knew he was no longer President, but he was seen as presidential…Although he was not running, he was running. Even as he maintained his vow of silence, he was shouting from the hustings.”

Before too long, Teddy could only resolve his regret about promising not to run again for President in 1904 one way--by running for President in 1912.

“My hat is in the ring,” he said. “The fight is on and I am stripped to the buff.”

Doughy old William Howard Taft, instead of seeing his inevitable loss as an opportunity to step aside in return for his coveted Supreme Court seat, picked this moment to show some backbone.

“I fear things are going to become very bitter before long,” the President said. “But…I am going to defeat him in the convention.”

1912 was shaping up to be one rip-roaring year. 

If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review at Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts, and click here to support us on Patreon.

Sources

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Morris, Edmund. “Theodore Rex.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “Grover Cleveland.” Retrieved August 29, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grover_Cleveland

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He claimed that the money she spent on a summer cottage for herself could have been used to send him to college instead. He once told a friend that if his mother was a bird and flew in a straight line, he wouldn’t hesitate to shoot at her. After his father’s suicide, Hemingway wrote, “My mother is an all time all American bitch and she would make a pack mule shoot himself; let alone poor bloody father.”

Family Relationship Tip Number Two Hundred Fifty Seven: do not let Ernest Hemingway write your Mother’s Day cards. 

He was married four times, to independent, self-assured, career women like his mother.

He also seemed to enjoy getting sued for divorce on grounds of adultery.

Hemingway was a complicated guy. 

While he was off covering the Spanish Civil War as a correspondent (and starting an affair with future third wife Martha Gellhorn), his wife Pauline tore out her husband’s backyard boxing ring and built a massive in-ground swimming pool--24 feet wide and 60 feet long, with a 5-foot shallow end and a 10-foot deep end, all dug by hand through solid coral. It cost over $20,000 to build ($365,000 in 2020 dollars).

On a visit home, Hemingway was stunned by the cost overruns involved in pool construction.

“Pauline, you’ve spent all but my last penny,” Hemingway told her. “So you might as well have that.”

Pauline had the penny encased in plastic and mounted in the floor of the pool, where visitors to Hemingway’s Key West home can see it to this day.

But the costs kept coming. The pool had to be drained, cleaned, and refilled as often as every three days, using salt water pumps.

Philandering proved quite expensive for Ernest Hemingway: his first wife took the royalties for The Sun Also Rises, and his second wife took a couple years of his writing income to build a pool, then saddled him with the ongoing costs of its maintenance.

He would have been lucky to have gotten out of it for just a penny.

If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review and click here to support our Patreon page.

Sources

Hemingwayhome.com. “Our Pool and Garden.” Retrieved August 31, 2021 from https://www.hemingwayhome.com/our-architecture

Hutchisson, James M. “Ernest Hemingway: A New Life.” Penn State University Press, 2016.

Wikipedia, “Grace Hall Hemingway.” Retrieved August 31, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hall_Hemingway

Wikipedia, “Martha Gellhorn.” Retrieved August 31, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha_Gellhorn

Wikipedia, “Mary Welsh Hemingway.” Retrieved August 31, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Welsh_Hemingway

Wikipedia, “Pauline Pfeiffer.” Retrieved August 31, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pauline_Pfeiffer

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Burnside led troops at the battles of the Wilderness and Spotsylvania Court House in a manner described as “reluctant.” He ended up at the Siege of Petersburg, which was the aftermath of Grant’s failed attempt to defeat Lee in a pitched, decisive battle. Both sides dug trenches and waited. Grant knew his opponent had lost men he could not replace, and supplies were running low. But Lee was clever, and Grant worried that the more time Lee had to strategize, the more likely it was that he might escape. 

The battles leading up to the siege were bloody and costly for the North, and Grant was called a “butcher” for his apparent willingness to sacrifice his men in inconclusive battles. General Grant had his own experience at the siege of Vicksburg to draw upon, where he had learned that sieges were expensive and bad for morale.

Like Burnside, Grant needed something big to turn things around.  

Colonel Henry Pleasants, a mining engineer from Pennsylvania, hatched a plan where he would dig a long shaft under the Confederate trenches, pack it with gunpowder, and blow the whole thing sky-high. This would open a massive hole in the Southern defenses that troops could pour through and attack.

This sounded great to Burnside.

As long as the plan went off without a hitch. 

***

Like the show? Click here to support our efforts.

Sources

American Battlefield Trust. “The Crater.” Retrieved August 30, 2021 from https://www.battlefields.org/learn/civil-war/battles/crater

Wikipedia, “Ambrose Burnside.” Retrieved August 29, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Burnside

Wikipedia, “Battle of Fredericksburg.” Retrieved August 29, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Fredericksburg

Wikipedia, “United States Joint Committee on the Conduct of the War.” Retrieved August 30, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Congressional_Joint_Committee_on_the_Conduct_of_the_War

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was self-imposed, it was him doing the kinds of things he loved—hunting animals in the wild and being out in nature—and it was as far away from the United States as he could get.

He needed to get away from his successor, to whom he couldn’t help offering advice. About the way the public perceived Taft’s penchant for golf, his midday naps, and the appearance that if he moved at all, it was slow. That he should smile more, and get out among the people instead of cozying up to political cronies. “Lacking aggression, all [Taft] wanted was to be loved…he was everybody’s favorite fat uncle from childhood, dispensing coins and lollipops.” 

Even though Teddy had anointed Taft President, he couldn’t trust himself to stick around and watch what happened next.

He went to Africa under contract with the Smithsonian, to analyze flora and fauna, and send back exhibits and write scientific papers.

He was also, being Teddy, going to kill some big, scary animals before they got a chance to kill him. 

Presidential Retirement Tip Number Two Hundred Fifty Seven: If you are fighting your impulses and ambition to keep yourself from running for president in an election you are pretty sure you can win, do NOT go on a European tour, where you will be treated like a visiting head of state by adoring crowds and European rulers.

A year after his departure from the White House, Theodore Roosevelt went on a European tour, where he was treated like a visiting head of state by adoring

crowds and European rulers. 

He came back to New York in 1910, where he was met by a crowd of a million people, who howled "our next President!" at him from the sidewalks along his five mile parade route. One paper wrote that “Never before in the history of America has a private citizen possessed the power which Mr. Roosevelt now holds.”

Teddy went home to Oyster Bay, where he had a lot of thinking to do. 

The presidential election of 1912 was approaching, and the next move was his. 

Thanks for listening, and click here to support our show!

Sources

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Morris, Edmund. “Theodore Rex.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “Freedom of the City.” Retreived August 27, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_the_City

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

President Theodore Roosevelt’s Justice Department was planning to file an antitrust suit against Rockefeller’s Standard Oil Company in 1906, and the states wanted to get into the action before the Attorney General did. Multiple lawsuits were filed against the directors of the company that controlled over ninety percent of oil production in the United States and had, by prevailing accounts, used unfair practices to gain its monopoly in the market.

Once the floodgates of lawsuits against Standard Oil opened, the focus landed on the company’s origins and rise to power, which meant the testimony of the company’s founder was essential. And of course, having the richest man in the world dragged into your courtroom was a pretty big deal. Process servers and newsmen engaged in a massive manhunt to find him and serve him with subpoenas.

But a man with multiple estates and an annual income of over fifty million dollars could hide out anywhere. He wouldn't be found until he wanted to be found. 

Unless you followed your nose. 

On our next episode, we catch up with “The Most Famous Man in The World” as Teddy Roosevelt returns to America after his African safari and world tour to find that President William Howard Taft has made a real mess of things and just maybe, he will have to do something about it.  

Stay tuned for Teddy Roosevelt’s Third Term, Part V.

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources

American Experience. “The Cleveland Massacre.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/rockefellers-south/

Chernow, Ron. “Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller, Sr.” Vintage, 2007

Ohio History Central. “John D. Rockefeller.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/John_D._Rockefeller

Tarbell, Ida M. “The History of the Standard Oil Company: Vol. 1 & 2.” Joe Barta, 2012.

Wikipedia. “John D. Rockefeller.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_D._Rockefeller

Wikipedia. “Standard Oil.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_Oil

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Turns out it was his wife, Nellie Taft, who kept getting him to turn down appointments to the Supreme Court, which was his lifelong ambition. She wanted her husband to be President more than her husband wanted to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and she wore the pants in the Taft house. By 1905, it was clear to everyone that Taft would be Theodore Roosevelt’s successor in 1908, and Nellie Taft was already “mentally redecorating the White House.”

Taft was a weak presidential candidate, and Teddy had to do a lot of the heavy lifting. Taft won, and Teddy made plans to leave the country on a year-long African safari. He knew it was best, for many reasons, for him to get out of the United States for a long while.

For many, many good reasons, Theodore Roosevelt went to Africa.

Ultimately, what would have been best for all concerned was for each man to get his heart’s fondest desire: another (and final) term as President for Teddy, after which he could finally lay down his burdens, knowing that he had done all he could. A seat on the highest court in the land for Taft, where his brilliant legal mind could do what it was always meant to do. Forcing these two square pegs into round holes created an off-kilter situation that could only be resolved through disaster.

On our next episode, we take a much-needed break from former President Theodore Roosevelt. As his contemporaries knew all too well, Teddy was exhausting, so we’ll leave him to butcher his way through Africa, slaughtering as many wild beasts as he can and go off on a tangent where Teddy only has a walk-on part, but still looms large. Because he just can’t help himself.

It’s the story of how the escape plan of the richest man in the world was thwarted by his weakness for his favorite food.

Stay tuned for John D. Rockefeller’s Favorite Cheese.

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He had secured the Panama Canal (by helping create the nation of Panama). His only rival for the presidential nomination in 1904 was a sickly Senator. The American people loved his antics, even while establishment politicians feared he was too dangerous a lunatic to be running the country. American children, even though they couldn't vote, pestered their parents to get them a Teddy Bear, created after the President refused to shoot a wounded bear on a hunt in Mississippi.

He only had to convince the establishment Republicans he was safe. He sent Elihu Root, the most establishment Republican in the country, to get the message out. Objections to his candidacy slowly disappeared.

The Democrats nominated Judge Alton B. Parker, a gray, taciturn fellow, to run against him. On the surface, it appeared like the Judge had no chance, but Teddy knew that safe and boring was the only thing that could beat him.

Fortunately, the Democrats made a number of mistakes in the campaign. Their nominee stayed on the sidelines, and when he finally came out to fight, the only arrow in his quiver was a conspiracy theory for which he had no proof.

Theodore Roosevelt was elected in a landslide.

All he had to do now was not put his foot in his mouth in any big way.

On Election Night, without consulting anyone, he made the following statement to the press:

“On the fourth of March next I shall have served three and a half years, and this three and a half years constitutes my first term. The wise custom that limits the President to two terms regards the substance and not the form. Under no circumstances will I be a candidate for or accept another nomination.”

Well, Mr. President, I sure hope that isn’t a statement you’ll regret someday. And I REALLY hope it doesn’t cause you to do something dangerous and self-destructive in the next few years.

Fingers crossed…

On our next episode, we enter the regretful phase of Theodore Roosevelt’s political life as he sits out the election of 1908, grows disenchanted with his appointed presidential successor, and storms the election of 1912 like a bull moose.

Stay tuned for Teddy Roosevelt’s Third Term, Part IV.

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Britannica.com “Free Silver Movement.” Retrieved August 4, 2021 from https://www.britannica.com/event/Free-Silver-Movement

Morris, Edmund. “Theodore Rex.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “Alton B. Parker.” Retrieved August 3, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alton_B._Parker#Presidential_nomination

Wikipedia, “Teddy Bear.” Retrieved August 3, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teddy_bear

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In 1901 the Secretary of State was John Hay, who had been one of Abraham Lincoln’s two young private secretaries during the Civil War. He had known President Lincoln better than nearly anyone, and had watched one of the greatest American presidencies unfold from his front-row seat. He was responsible and stable and a good Republican, with years of public service and an insider’s knowledge of how the White House worked. Interestingly enough, Hay had served three assassinated Presidents – Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley.

If Teddy Roosevelt’s midnight mad dash down the highest mountain in the Adirondacks to Buffalo upon the death of William McKinley went bad, John Hay would have been the perfect president for all those stodgy machine politicians who thought the young Vice President was a madman.

Now it was a race. 

The 400-mile trip to Buffalo, where Teddy was going to be sworn in, was so dangerous that we came pretty close to our history books telling the touching story of how Abraham Lincoln’s right hand man accidentally became President. 

But Teddy made it and became America's 26th President. From that moment on what he wanted most was to win the White House in his own right. 

But he had plenty of obstacles in his way. 

McKinley’s campaign manager and Ohio Senator Mark Hanna (who himself had presidential aspirations for 1904), lamented, “that damned cowboy is president now.”

And he began looking for ways to stop him. 

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Adirondack.net – “Theodore Roosevelt’s Midnight Ride to the Presidency.” Retrieved July 14, 2021 from https://www.adirondack.net/history/midnight-ride/

Morris, Edmund. “Theodore Rex.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Morris, Edmund. “The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt.” The Modern Library, 2001.

United States Department of Labor. “The Coal Strike of 1902: Turning Point in U.S. Policy” retrieved July 28, 2021 from https://www.dol.gov/general/aboutdol/history/coalstrike

United States Senate (senate.gov). “Theodore Roosevelt, 25th Vice President (1901).”

Wikipedia, “First Inauguration of Theodore Roosevelt.” Retrieved July 23, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_inauguration_of_Theodore_Roosevelt

Wikipedia, “John Hay.” Retrieved July 23, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hay

Wikipedia, “Roosevelt-Marcy Trail.” Retrieved July 23, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roosevelt-Marcy_Trail

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This was the approach had catapulted him to national prominence and popularity, making him among the first of that rare breed of celebrity American politicians and kicking off the twentieth-century presidency with a bang. But in this case, his trademark impulsiveness backfired in a way that made him regret it to the end of his days.

This time, it cost him the White House. 

Any time Theodore Roosevelt annoyed the political bosses of New York, they tried to send him out of town to a career-ending job in Washington, DC.

This never worked out for them. 

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Adirondack.net – “Theodore Roosevelt’s Midnight Ride to the Presidency.” Retrieved July 14, 2021 from https://www.adirondack.net/history/midnight-ride/

McNamara, Robert. "Theodore Roosevelt and the New York Police Department." ThoughtCo, Feb. 16, 2021, thoughtco.com/theodore-roosevelt-ny-police-department-1773515.

Morris, Edmund. “Theodore Rex.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Morris, Edmund. “The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt.” The Modern Library, 2001.

United States Senate (senate.gov). “Mark Hanna and the 1896 Election.”

United States Senate (senate.gov). “Theodore Roosevelt, 25th Vice President (1901).”

Mintz, S., & McNeil, S. (2018). “Theodore Roosevelt.” Digital History. Retrieved June 27, 2021 from https://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/disp_textbook.cfm?smtID=2&psid=3140

National Archives. “Pieces of History.” Retrieved June 27, 2021 from https://prologue.blogs.archives.gov/2010/11/09/teddy-roosevelt-and-abraham-lincoln-in-the-same-photo/

Wikipedia, “Theodore Roosevelt.” Retrieved June 28, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_Roosevelt

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

General Thomas Gage, commander of British troops in America in the early days of the Revolution, made a point of not addressing George Washington by his rank, and made sure that no one else did either. Although he was following official British military policy of not giving validity to anyone in rebellion against the Crown, General Gage did it with a kind of insufferable arrogance all out of proportion to the situation at hand.

I wonder why?

Well. Maybe it’s because George Washington once saved his life. After the father of our country started the French and Indian War.

This may be a bit awkward.

Thanks for listening, and for your support of the History's Trainwrecks Podcast.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

De Fonblanque, Edward Barrington, 1821-1895. "Political And Military Episodes In the Latter Half of the Eighteenth Century: Derived From the Life And Correspondence of the Right Hon. John Burgoyne, General, Statesman, Dramatist". London: Macmillan and co., 1876. (around page 200 for letters to Washington)

Ellis, Joseph J. "His Excellency: George Washington". Vintage, 2005.

Marshall, John. "The Life of George Washington". Derby & Jackson, 1857.

McCullough, David, “1776” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Wikipedia. “Thomas Gage.” 2021.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hopefully, his descendants would be more fun. In a future episode, we'll meet his great-grandson--Cato the Younger, and find out that the apple doesn't really fall far from the tree. 

The Catos. 

Their family will be on the front lines of the slide from Republic to the Roman Empire.

Stay tuned for Stubborn Nags of Ancient Rome, Part II.

Thanks for listening, and for your support of the History's Trainwrecks Podcast..

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Duncan, Mike. “The Storm Before the Storm: The Beginning of the End of the Roman Republic” Public Affairs, 2017.

Livy, “The Early History of Rome.” Penguin Classics, 2002

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the early days of World War II, American Major General Mark Clark was on a top-secret mission in German-occupied Algiers to persuade the French commander not to resist the planned Allied invasion of North Africa, codenamed Operation Torch.

On his way back to the submarine, the general worried that his wet pants (and the two thousand dollars in gold he had in his belt) might drag him down. He turned to the next lowest ranking officer and ordered him to surrender his trousers.

It's good to be in charge.

Thanks for listening to the History's Trainwrecks Podcast, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

“Flawed, but Essential: Mark W. Clark and the Italian Campaign in World War II” Mikolashek, Jon, Florida State University, 2007

“Mark W. Clark” Wikipedia

“George C. Marshall” Wikipedia

“Operation Flagpole” Wikipedia

“Top Secret: Gen. Mark Clark’s Daring Operation Flagpole” Schultz, Duane, Warfare History Magazine, 2019

“Spain during World War II” Wikipedia

“Operation Torch” Wikipedia

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary Todd Lincoln and her husband were off to Ulysses S. Grant's headquarters a few weeks before the end of the Civil War. It was clear the war would soon be over.

This trip would be a welcome escape from Washington, and an opportunity for the First Couple to spend some quality time together.

What could go wrong?

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Goodwin, Doris Kearns. “Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Grant, Ulysses. “Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant.” 2014

Lyman, Theodore, 1833-1897, and George R. (George Russell) Agassiz. “With Grant And Meade From the Wilderness to Appomattox.” Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press, 1994.

PillartoPost.org Daily Online Magazine. “Retro Files/Lincoln Endures the Uncivil Wars” 2016. 

Largent, Kimberly. “The Life of Mary Todd Lincoln.” The Ohio State University. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't be mad because I call them trainwrecks. These people were at the top of their game, and failed within sight of their goals.

Were it not for some quality they had, they might have gotten everything they wanted. Instead they ended up in relative obscurity.

I give a few examples of history's trainwrecks, and how I define the word for the podcast.

This is the stuff we never learned in school.

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/historys-trainwrecks.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.