Cat Noir Comedy Podcast

Home under the Hammer

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 23:00:00 GMT

Mr Godwin can't get any rest, as his new neighbour is making too much noise,

so he turns to his old friend Agony Aunt to find a solution.

Will the council help before Mr Godwin is forced to seek the advice of MC Hammer?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has good neighbours. Just a friendly wave each morning, helps to make a better day.

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SCENE ONE: Mr Godwin's front room

We are in the front room of perennially annoyed Mr Godwin. There are muffled but loud construction sounds coming from next door. Mr Godwin is on the phone but we can only hear his side of the conversation.

MR GODWIN: (on the phone) So it's been going on for two weeks now… yes, two weeks. (pause) Well, I'd like to know what you are going to do about it. (pause) So there's nothing you can do? Right. (pause and then incredulously) You suggest I call who? (pause) The police or the council! I haven't got time for that. I thought, as you had phoned me to try and scam me out of my life savings, that maybe we could come to some arrangement where I release the equity on my house and you, in turn, deal with my noisy neighbour. (pause) Hello! Hello! Ah… I can't hear you anyway.

Construction sounds are now too loud, so he ends the calls.

MR GODWIN: Right. Time for my favourite programme. Just pop the TV on.

Mr Godwin turns on the TV and we hear CAT NOIR THEME

MR GODWIN: Cat Noir presents…

The theme and voiceover can barely be heard… there is too much construction work happening.

MR GODWIN: I said, Cat Noir Presents… Home under… I best shut these windows.

Mr Godwin shuts two windows. The construction sounds are still too loud.

MR GODWIN: I still can't hear myself think. I'll shut the doors too.

He shuts two doors and the sounds abate.

MR GODWIN: That's better. Now, where was I. Oh yes. Cat Noir Presents… Home under the hammer.

The sounds increase again with new equipment being used.

MR GODWIN: (shouting) Written and performed by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

The sounds have stopped but Mr Godwin hasn't noticed.

MR GODWIN: (Still shouting) I think I'll make some tea.

SPIV: (OOV - next door) Keep it down mate. Some of us are trying to rest.

MR GODWIN: Right. I've had enough of this. Two weeks this has been going on. Two weeks.

He opens the lounge door and exits the home through the front door, crossing the shingle drive to his neighbours house.

SCENE TWO: Doorstep - next door

At his neighbours, Mr Godwin rings the doorbell. The door opens.

SPIV: Yes. Oh hello.

MR GODWIN: Oh no. Not you.

SPIV: What. I've never met you before.

MR GODWIN: Yes you have, loads of times. My house got invaded and we fought the intruder off together with the help of a lost boy. SPIV: (Pause) No. I think I'd remember that.

MR GODWIN: You ruined my Christmas. Twice.

SPIV: Did I?

MR GODWIN: Hmm. What are you doing next door?

SPIV: I'm your new neighbour. Hello bunk buddy.

MR GODWIN: (flustered) Yes, well… what? Bunk Buddies we are not. Neighbours we are.

SPIV: (in Yoda voice) Speak like Yoda, you do.

MR GODWIN: I do not, no. (throws hands up) Ah. Look what you've turned me into.

SPIV: A cheap star wars knock off.

MR GODWIN: No. A moaning neighbour.

SPIV: Well, stop moaning and go back to your own house then.

MR GODWIN: I won't and I have questions.

SPIV: Hit me then. I meant metaphorically, don't actually strike my face, I'm very attached to my features.

MR GODWIN: Why are you making so much noise?

SPIV: Easy question. I'm having something put into my loft.

MR GODWIN: What?

SPIV: A casino.

MR GODWIN: A casino?

Listen in to hear more

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 4)

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

Filthy, frazzled, foul-smelling, and largely friendless in a world too big to make sense,

Stargazers Bundy and Ted are faced with some difficult choices in their quest to return to normal size.

Part 4 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

There has been a recall on Geoff the Baker’s new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pies.

If you have one, please do not eat it. There will be no further announcements regarding this product.

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Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 3)

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

With the butterflies disgruntled and woodlice chomping on the floorboards, Stargazers Bundy and Ted

hope for more promising answers from the return of Tim the ladybird. Meanwhile, elsewhere,

the greenfly don’t seem too happy. Part 3 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Following multiple announcements, Geoff the Baker’s new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake

pie has attracted a lot of attention from the media and hospitals.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 2)

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

With a whole new perspective of the observatory floor, stargazers Bundy and Ted meet some of the wildlife

and learn what they really think about humans. Part 2 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker proudly announces that his new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie is now available.

Come to think of it, the first announcement last week probably wasn’t required.

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Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 1)

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMT

Stargazers Bundy and Ted are in for a fun surprise at the hands of a strange new mystery parcel, which comes complete with incredibly vague instructions.

Part 1 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker proudly announces an upcoming announcement about a new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie.

Stay tuned for further announcements.

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2026 Trailer - Season 8

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

Welcome to Cat Noir Comedy Podcast Season 8.

The weekly season.

Join us every 7 days for 12 weeks of fun.

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 1

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 2

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 3

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 4

Home under the hammer

Dates are not the only fruit

War of the Whelks (Part One)

War of the Whelks (Part Two)

Revenge of the Whelks

Public Domain

The Knowing Wink of Podcast Zero

Patrick MacNee's Missing TV

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Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast.

Follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters, born from sketches but forged in the stories we tell.

There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Don't mind Geoff the Baker he's just socially awkward.

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www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk

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Announcement

Sun, 16 Nov 2025 12:00:00 GMT

Announcement!

Cat Noir will be releasing 12 episodes weekly from Feb 2026 and then again later in the year.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker is up to something.

Omx0bDflDGVAeJOieRYc

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Missing 3: Episode 2 Chocolate layers

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 16:00:00 GMT

The four survivors of Flight 935 have been saved, but at what cost.

As a devious plot to restart a chocolate empire puts Insert and Agatha in danger, Danny and Warren are forced to complete a dangerous mission in the heart of occupied Herring territory and not everyone is getting out alive.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is interesting.

Sorry, he advises he actually said he is "into resting" and is off for a nap.

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Missing 3: Episode 1 Feathered friends

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 18:30:00 GMT

The four survivors of flight 935 have been stranded on the island again, but this time it won't be for long.

After covering themselves in feathers to keep cool, Warren's past catches up with him and Insert and Agatha are kidnapped by a birdwatcher.

Danny just wants to get home and put his feet up.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker reports he has Pteronophobia.

That's a fear of feathers. Yes, I had to google it too.

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Honk's nightmares

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 18:30:00 GMT

Celebrity chef Honk Romsey and his team randomly pitch up at Kev’s house to record an episode

of his hit kitchen television show.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker doesn’t believe in doughballs.

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Training Day

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 18:30:00 GMT

Today we join Keith and Chris on the frontline of a training session all about the complexities of safely managing risk in the workplace. Participation is mandatory.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker won’t be appearing in this episode due to bakery reasons.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Digging Much Deeper

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 18:30:00 GMT

Join Dale Alan for the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview Hollywood actor and all round legend Brian Breynolds

on a specially extended episode of Digging Deeper. Brian’s not actually here yet, though he’s definitely on his way.

Luckily, someone else is keen to fill in for him, and she swears she has a story to tell.

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to some elephants placing a massive order of iced buns.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

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This episode is dedicated to our college tutor Jeffrey Holmes who taught us everything we needed to know about acting and more. R.I.P Jeff.

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Bagpipes of Doom

Mon, 12 May 2025 20:25:48 GMT

You wanna know what's gonna happen, don't you? Maybe it's for the best you just listen. You can never have too much of a good thing.

Curiosity is healthy and can be wise, but sometimes you need to know when to leave well alone. Just get out whilst you still can.

Can you hear bagpipes? Oh my god! RUN!

Travelling by train, Chip Mason and Gavin Walters find themselves on the run from a bizarre Scottish soldier who cannot possibly exist.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Credit for clean audio of bagpipes playing: Stephen Watt, Marie Mont, OH Police Department.

Some other sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has tinnitus. Lucky git.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Wymondham Men

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 18:30:56 GMT

Charlie Blunderwedge and Jim Bond fly out to a small apple producing isle to find a missing child in a story

remarkably similar to the old film The Wicker Man; a film so famous that surely everyone must have seen it by now...

haven’t they?

All celebrity voices impersonated.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

"Hegs" written and performed by Matt Sanders, music by Kevin Chilvers.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has got some lovely apple pies for sale.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ghost Meringue

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 19:30:15 GMT

A classic tale of meringue-based hauntings.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker went bowling.

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The Curse of Punctuality

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 19:30:07 GMT

Only one man can save publisher Jim Bond when an ancient evil is waiting in the shadows.

However, Charlie Blunderwedge must face his faith, wellbeing and hatred of long, boring flashbacks in order to be ready.

Please arrive early or be a little late. The exact hand of time is where the Hour Man waits.

Beyond the eye, just out of view. The Hour Man counts the seconds for you.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker didn't realise it at the time but now, stood in front of the whole convent, he really could do with a pair of new pants.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Nostradamus Effect

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 19:30:13 GMT

In America, songs from a hip-hop band have begun to predict the future and the F.B.I. are tasked to investigate before the release of their new single:

Kaboom! (End of the World)

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker enjoys time at his local playground; where he likes to go clockwise round the roundabout, slide down and swing both ways.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Merry Christmas Mr Godwin

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 19:30:15 GMT

For this year’s seasonally festive special we were inspired by the Dickens’ Christmas tale of ghosts and changing ways.

In our version, we’ve reworked the classic into a modern day story of constantly feeling hassled, and given it a name lifted from an old Bowie movie.

This pleased Kev cos he’s a massive fan. Matt likes Labyrinth.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is in pantomime somewhere near Clacton.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ian and Stella Go West

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 19:30:38 GMT

Ian Browdent, a struggling music producer Is auditioning singers for a new commercial when he is offered the chance of a lifetime: an all-inclusive tour of America.

However, there is always a catch. Will Ian be able to explain why there are four dead bodies in the street and he is holding the smoking gun?

Or is he destined to spend the rest of his life behind bars?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has never killed anyone.

But if you purchased a meat pie from his shop on the 4th of September 2015 he is offering 20% off your next purchase.

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Compilation: It's wonderfully poor timing to release a Christmas special Rick

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 19:30:02 GMT

When Christmas gets rudely hijacked, Kev and Matt take to the road tracking the evil Rick Alanman to The Tachycardic Plaza in London,

where Danny Peaks is having the time of his life. Can Kev and Matt save Christmas? No good asking Mr Tunguska... he will never tell.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has a tattoo. Can you find it?

Answers on a postcard to Guess GOB's Tats @ Cat Noir Comedy Podcast quiz.

Norfolk, UK.

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Restoration Falls: Omnibus

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 18:30:15 GMT

Novelist Charlie Blunderwedge and his agent Jim Bond take a few well earned vacation days in a secluded health spa hidden in the Swiss Alps. But is Restoration Falls all that it seems? And what exactly are the special treatments that go on there?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has been here before.

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Omnibus: Away with the Drizzle

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 18:30:18 GMT

Why is a single island known as The Ferrero Rocher Isles? Exactly where is it and should anyone even care?

Who is the mysterious Lacunar Infarct? Is he really a vampire? Or is some other nonsense afoot?

Dale Alan digs deeper to find out.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker wears green crocs.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Pynming August Sun Stone

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 18:30:39 GMT

Novelist, Charlie Blunderwedge and his friend and literary agent, Jim Bond, are thrown into adventure after discovering mysterious writings on the

back of Charlie's new painting. But what does it all mean? And why does a man who looks exactly like Sean Bean care so much?

Join Charlie, Jim, and a whole heap of Hollywood characters as they set out on their quest to solve the question no one knew needed answering:

What and where is the Pynming August Sun Stone?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker knows...

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Omnibus: Super Chupacabra

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 18:30:21 GMT

After a dodgy bet in a rowdy pub; famed explorer Arnold Reinhold-Badgerfur assembles a team to cross the seas and search

for the mighty, mythical goat sucking Chupacabra. Who'll make the team and who can be trusted? Rum anyone?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is in shock. He's just seen how much a first class stamp costs.

Song: Super Chupacabra: Performed by Super Chupacabra with The Supremes (post Diana Ross).

I'm not a goat sucker, I'm a goat suckers son. (Super Chupacabra! Chupacabra)

If you see me coming I think you better run. (Super Chupacabra! Chupacabra)

People think I'm dangerous but actually I'm fun. (Super Chupacabra! Chupacabra.)

Super! Super! Chupacabra

I'm just a mythical beast, on my way to a pirate feast. I'm just a mythical beast. I'm coming on your boat looking for goats.

(He's just a mythical beast, on his way to a pirate feast. He's just a mythical beast)

I bet you jump and float, whilst I suck your goats. Run far! I'm Super Chupacabra!

I'm a damn killer / Wearing Charlie by Matthew Zink. I'm gonna blow up your boat. I'm gonna make it sink.

Gonna ensure you never leave this island. Explosions is what I have planned. Your boat and my dynamite in a...

Sexy! Sexy! Bang, bang, bang, bang.

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Omnibus: Honk's Kitchen

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 18:30:02 GMT

Join us for the Honk’s Kitchen.

Compiling the semi-final and final of one of the world’s most exciting daytime cookery shows, where casseroles and tempers get extremely heated.

Who will win the coveted prize of Head Chef at Honk Romsey’s brand new mobile restaurant and burger van: Honkz.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker couldn't appear in this episode as he wasn't in the original episodes and does not have a time machine.

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Omnibus: The Ian and Stella Story

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 18:31:44 GMT

Compilating Ian and Stella's journey from recording their first album, to the mishaps of not working together and then their musical assault on Vegas.

Join us for a love story like no other and music that should never have been recorded due to it's magical qualities.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker loves the work of Tim Bamburner and has one Goldeneye.

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The Missing Marple Saga

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 18:30:24 GMT

Flashback with us to when Matt and Kev lost one of the 9 Miss Marple's that live in their cupboard and chased her across the Cat Noir Metaverse.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is missing.

No, sorry, that was a typo.

Geoff the Baker is massing.

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Cujack Vs Cujack

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 18:30:10 GMT

It's time to count down the top five "True Crime shows of the decade" as presented by Patrick MacNee.

The only problem is, Matt's wiped all the tapes.

However, the ever resourceful Patrick reveals a unique opportunity for Matt and Kev to finally do some acting.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker would like us to point out that he often appears in the small print for many other podcasts,

but he likes the way we treat him with respect and so has renewed his contract to stay in our small print for a further three years.

God bless Geoff.

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A horse called Man

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 18:30:10 GMT

Unexpected equine activity causes a big problem in Kev’s front room.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is here to help, but he’s just popped out.

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Flight of the damned

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 18:30:05 GMT

Flight instructor Mike Russett starts his morning with a challenging lesson. But, for Mike, today is only going to get weirder…

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Cessna FX provided by "Cheeseheadburger" and "Cask" on freesounds.com

Geoff the Baker was here a moment ago. You just missed him.

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Maureen Perkins is Furious

Mon, 27 May 2024 18:30:07 GMT

A one-note character, largely known for saying Perkins lots, swears vengeance and justice on the man who wronged her, and will stop at nothing to make things right.

Warning: this episode contains themes of revenge and marzipan.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is staying as far away from this episode as he can.

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Octagon Octopus

Mon, 13 May 2024 18:30:51 GMT

Jude Baxter works at Hamilton laboratories.

His single purpose is to clean up after others and be ignored by his colleagues.

One night after hours, he accidentally solves the complex puzzle to life on earth,

however, has he just doomed the rest of the world to destruction.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker doesn't really care for the environment.

We caught him releasing raw sewage into our local pond. You don't want the details.

#britishcomedy #podcastfantasystories #fullcomedypodcast #shortstoryaudiobook

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Big Trouble with little china (Episode 3)

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 18:31:25 GMT

Hunted by an array of people braying for blood, Danny Peaks has to think outside the box

to defeat the ancient sorcerer before he destroys the city.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Magic Mike has been in touch to advise that he has never heard of Geoff the Baker.

He does however eat baked items, but only on Thursdays. He needs to maintain his figure.

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Big Trouble with little china (Episode 2)

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 18:30:18 GMT

Danny Peaks thought his day couldn't get any worse, but it has.

Hunted by the police and now trapped in a disused mine with his family,

Danny meets an ancient sorcerer who is in desperate need of a cup of tea.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker would like to point out an error in last weeks synopsis, where we incorrectly

stated he doesn't like magic. Apparently that sentence should have read. Geoff the Baker doesn't like Magic

Mike.

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Big Trouble with little china (Episode 1)

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 18:30:25 GMT

Danny Peaks is in big trouble. His wife has been kidnapped by bandits and the police want a word.

Could his day get any worse?

Maybe a visit to his rival Graham, will cheer him up?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker doesn't like magic, but he does like circles. His favourite is a tangent.

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Outpost 35

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:30:14 GMT

Marooned at a desolate research station on a planet far, far away and likely fictional,

civilian Jeff Bumble takes Star Captain Dick Calhoon through a virtual tour of life on an outpost

with no other humans and no contact beyond one affectionate android.

Episode 70 was written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to his disbelief in the planet Nibiru.

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The BS Foundation

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 19:30:22 GMT

Seizing the opportunity to deliver his own podcast, Bill Shyster introduces us to the greatest money-making venture of all time.

Warning: DO NOT give this man any money.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to a long-running dispute with Bill Shyster.

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The Beast of Bumpkin Manor 4

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 19:30:56 GMT

More gruesome deaths await the third night of the full moon at Bumpkin Manor. Will Kev and Matt survive?

Will the identity of the beast finally be revealed? Does any of this even matter? Who knows.

Episode four of a four-part mini-series.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker’s word is to be taken on a case-by-case basis.

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The Beast of Bumpkin Manor 3

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 19:30:23 GMT

The second day at Bumpkin Manor brings authoritative questions and stupid answers,

whilst the second night brings more blood, death, and the return of the beast.

But just what is it? A wild animal? Or are far more sinister forces at work?

Episode three of a four-part mini-series.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker’s word is currently being contested.

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The Beast of Bumpkin Manor 2

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 19:30:11 GMT

Still on the first night of the full moon cycle, Kev and Matt seek answers in the rural Bumpkin Manor;

home to an eccentric family of complete and incomplete Bumpkins. Is everyone really who they say

they are and what of the beast calling out in the night? Episode two of a four-part mini-series.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is NOT a man of his word.

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The Beast of Bumpkin Manor 1

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 19:30:49 GMT

Following the arrival of a mysterious letter, Kev and Matt take to the road in search of Bumpkin Manor,

and all the secrets that lie within. Join us for the first episode of a four-part mysterious mystery mini-series,

where the words mysterious and mystery are likely to get used far too often.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and the AI generated episode covers by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is a man of his word.

Season 5 starts here.

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The Pink Tiger & Burrowing Owl Special

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 15:00:55 GMT

Join us for a special tale starring Pink tiger and his faithful butler Burrowing Owl,

as they investigate the curious case of the Pale Lemur.

Keep the receipt, just in case.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has made mince pies for the occasion. I wouldn't take one if he offers. You never know.

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We Could Be Heroes Episode 3

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 19:30:25 GMT

With the super hero team, "No Quarter," broken into pieces and no closer to finding to the villain known as Dr Dentist.

Duke takes charge and starts to connect the dots. What he finds however, will challenge everything he thought he knew.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff The Baker played the Trombone during this episode. Thankfully, many, many miles away from our recording.

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We Could Be Heroes Episode 2

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 19:30:39 GMT

Having lost another member of "No Quarter," the super hero team regroup to look for the villain known as Dr Dentist.

However, a bigger danger could lay closer to home.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff The Baker recorded a cameo for this episode but his scene was cut. It was a shame as he was excellent.

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We Could Be Heroes Episode 1

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 19:30:43 GMT

Time Traveller, Duke Render has been forced into joining the super hero team, "No Quarter."

Their mission, to find the super villain known as Dr Dentist.

However the team are fixated on a little, old man who lives down the road and only wants a quiet life.

Maybe they are looking in the wrong direction?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

We just want to make it clear; although there is a character called Geoff Baker in this weeks episode, it is not Geoff THE Baker.

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Chatting with a Vampire

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 19:30:16 GMT

Who is the mysterious Lacunar Infarct? Is he really a vampire? Or is some other nonsense afoot?

Dale Alan digs deeper in the concluding part of this year’s Halloween special.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is stuck in traffic.

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Away from the drizzle

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 18:30:47 GMT

Why is a single island known as The Ferrero Rocher Isles? Exactly where is it?

And should anyone even care? These, and many other questions, are unlikely

to get answered in this episode; the first of a two-part Halloween special.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker will be with you in a minute.

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Honk's Kitchen Part Two

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 18:30:36 GMT

After 136 weeks of non-stop cooking action, things are about to get even hotter in the grand final of Honk’s Kitchen.

Join us for cauliflower, broccoli, and much much more as the last two contestants compete to win the coveted prize

of Head Chef at Honk Romsey’s brand new mobile restaurant and burger van: Honkz.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker won’t be appearing due to reasons known only to the secret service.

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Honk's Kitchen Part One

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 18:30:34 GMT

It’s the semi-final of one of the world’s most exciting daytime cookery shows, where casseroles and tempers get extremely heated.

Disclaimer: no casseroles are featured in this episode. Not one.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is staying unusually silent this week, so won’t be appearing.

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Matt and Kev's Bogus Non Journey

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 20:15:20 GMT

A surprise visit from Kev’s Auntie Mabel and Uncle Fred casts an awkward mood over the podcast.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker might actually be Geoff the Banker. More to follow.

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The House of Audio Description

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 18:30:07 GMT

Kev is busy at the zoo so Matt decides to take a short cut editing the podcast but ends up activating a rather psychotic audio description.

Matt needs to go the post office but Audio Description and the local police have other plans.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Adoption piano theme used by kind permission from Migfus20.

Geoff the Baker can't play the piano, but is pretty good on the hurdy-gurdy. Or so he says.

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Missing 2 Acquisition 4

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 18:30:38 GMT

Mysterious bubble wrapped packages await instructions at the disused Turwzels chocolate factory, as the survivors find that life back in the real world,

might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island. Cat Noir presents the final episode of MISSING Series 2.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is not interested in World domination as he has cakes to bake.

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Missing 2 Acquisition 3

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 18:30:18 GMT

Billionaire, Alfie Lovechild is working on a special project for the UK police. His robot prototypes have been tested and are due to roll out to all forces across the country. However, one man has worked out how to control the drones and intends to use them for his own gain. Can Alfie stop him?

Cat Noir presents MISSING Series 2. Where the plane crash survivors find that life back in the real world, might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker wants to make it very clear that he is not a robot.

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Missing 2 Acquisition 2

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 18:30:51 GMT

Following a lorry leaving a fish market, Danny Peaks meets up with some old friends and finds an curious omen written on the back of a breadboard.

Cat Noir presents MISSING Series 2. Where the plane crash survivors find that life back in the real world, might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island.

Geoff the Baker would like to point out that we have been pronouncing his name wrong. It's Goff the Baker. Apologies Geoff.

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Missing 2 Acquisition 1

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 18:30:47 GMT

Insert Namher is investigating strange disappearances at a residential home for old actors, where an old friend has come in procession of a rather magical suitcase. This property can not be allowed to fall in the hands of business tycoon Augustus Pennington-Smythe, but he has sent a man to retrieve it. Red Mist, the sworn enemy of the super hero known only as Smoke.

Cat Noir Presents MISSING Series 2. Where the plane crash survivors find that life back in the real world, might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker has been given notice.

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5 Oh

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 18:30:52 GMT

Kev and Matt try to celebrate their 50th full episode, but no one wants a clip show.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com -

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers.

Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode due to an urgent order of buns.

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Pushing up Whoops a Daisies

Mon, 29 May 2023 18:30:19 GMT

In this episode we spend a day following the lives of workers at one of Britain’s most incompetent funeral homes.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker is not a footnote.

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Restoration Falls Part 2:

Mon, 15 May 2023 18:30:39 GMT

The mystery deepens at Restoration Falls, as novelist Charlie Blunderwedge completes his treatment for pinecone phobia

and seems to become a brand new man, but at what cost, and why is he acting differently toward his old friend and publishing agent Jim Bond?

The secret of the spa is finally revealed in the concluding part of this Cat Noir adventure.

Will Charlie and Jim get out alive? And will anyone believe what them if they do?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Restoration Falls Part 1:

Mon, 01 May 2023 18:30:07 GMT

Novelist Charlie Blunderwedge and his agent Jim Bond take a few well earned vacation days in a secluded health spa hidden in the Swiss Alps.

But is Restoration Falls all that it seems? And what exactly are the special treatments that go on there?

Join us for the first of a brand new two part Charlie and Jim adventure.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hassled

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 18:30:20 GMT

Mr Godwin finds a small boy behind his wheelie bin who is so scared he can't talk.

Feeling out of options, Mr Godwin calls for help from the one person who knows he can trust above all others.

David Hasslehoff!

He's in for a shock.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Night of the Raining Dead

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 18:30:25 GMT

Bundy hopes his new invention will keep the rain at bay, so he and Ted can finally watch the night stars. Instead, various corpses seem to be traipsing around outside the observatory, all with a fresh appetite for brains...

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com. Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode as he does not have an umbrella.

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The Lord of the Mustard

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 19:30:20 GMT

Ever had one of those weeks where you get plagued non-stop by mustard? Kev can relate – and he doesn’t even like mustard. Meanwhile, Matt’s got a new agent. The work is rolling in, and Taffy has an eye on Kev for a very special part. Meanwhile Warren has a BIG problem.

Geoff the Baker is not a Lord of anything.

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H is for Hospital

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 20:30:29 GMT

Dr Pentagram is fond of spiders, but just how close does the bond go? And what does this mean for everyone in the hospital around him? Join Cat Noir in the first of three special nightmare stories, where each one is more terrifying than the next...

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker's favourite spider is Man.

WARNING: This episode contains spiders.

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The 5 Stages of Derek

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 19:30:43 GMT

What begins as an interview with an informant becomes a life-or-death situation for Lead, Lead Detective Michaels as he follows Matt and Kev around town looking for answers.

The Questions might be: Why do Bundy and Ted now have a studio audience? Why is Warren pedalling crisps and how protective should a house alarm really be?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker is not real. Or is he? He's not! But he could be. Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't.

One thing is for sure. You won't find out in this episode.

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Super Chupacabra Part 2

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 19:30:56 GMT

Cat Noir presents Part Two of their musical: Super Chupacabra. Arnold Reinhold-Badgerfur and his team prepare traps to catch the beast as a mysterious sexy, monster blows up their boat. Follow the twists and turns as the Hunters find they have become the hunted.

Geoff the Baker is still refusing to sing, unless he can duet with Snoop Dogg.

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Super Chupacabra Part 1

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 19:30:35 GMT

Cat Noir presents Part One of their musical: Super Chupacabra. After a dodgy bet in a rowdy pub; famed explorer Arnold Reinhold-Badgerfur assembles a team to cross the seas and search for the mighty, mythical goat sucking Chupacabra. Who'll make the team and who can be trusted? Rum anyone?

Geoff the Baker doesn't appear in this episode as he only sings in the shower.

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Kill Hector

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 19:30:42 GMT

Two rouges concoct a plan to claim life insurance from their rather clumsy friend Hector.

But how difficult could it be to kill someone whose life is a walking disaster?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker has 13 insurance policies. He assures us this is a dozen.

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Cat Noir Presents: The Season 4 and beyond Trailer

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 19:30:02 GMT

Cat Noir is a character-based, fully scored, fortnightly comedy series that masquerades as a podcast. Imagine a world where podcasts are more than just audio; they’re immersive experiences. That what it's hosts Matt and Kev find out when they start on their podcast journey.
Every fortnight, you’ll follow the fortunes and misfortunes of an ever-growing cast of characters. All of whom thought they were one off sketch participants but are now living fully formed lives within the world of Cat Noir.
Expect action, adventure, low and high stakes as the characters navigate their way through various escapades. Whether they are battling villains, solving mysteries, or simply trying to lead a quiet life, Cat Noir serves up a delightful mix of scenarios.
But wait, there’s more! Here's a recent review "Huge doses of comedy are sprinkled throughout. Witty banter, unexpected twists, and laugh-out-loud moments. It’s like eavesdropping on a quirky universe where the absurd meets the everyday." Mr G Chatbot.

So, if you’re up for a podcast that defies conventions and invites you into a world where characters come alive, give Cat Noir Comedy Podcast a listen. You can find it on all good podcast platforms.

YouTube, Amazon Music, TuneIn , and Apple Podcasts 1 2 3 4 5.

Written, performed, produced and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Music by Kevin Chilvers.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2022 Christmas Special: Part Two

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 19:35:55 GMT

Kev and Matt track Rick Alanman to The Tachycardic Plaza in London just in time for a plot of movie-sized proportions to unfold.

Join us for the conclusion of a special festive double episode, where love and dry roasted peanuts are in the air, and party

door staff can be a little irate. Can Kev and Matt save Christmas? No good asking Mr Tunguska... he will never tell.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Except Rick.

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2022 Christmas Special: Part One

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 19:35:13 GMT

When a cosy Cat Noir Christmas gets rudely hijacked, Kev and Matt take to the road in a bid to save the season.

Join us for the first part of a festive double episode, where Danny Peaks is selling the ultimate stocking-filler,

Mr Godwin learns some cold truths about Christmas traditions, and Dale Alan interviews a special guest on Digging Deeper.

Did anyone bring any trifle?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker might appear in this episode.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narrator Factor

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 19:35:43 GMT

Matt and Kev get a strange letter as we visit Egypt to find out how a Cat God became the narrator on a comedy podcast.

The 34th death in Cat Noir has been reached starting the #35 protocol. DO NOT PANIC.

Who will die 35th? All will be revealed, and nothing will be the same again.

Geoff the Baker wasn't #35. He wants it known that his trouser size is actually 34/31. He was insistent that I include this information.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#35 Harmed to Death

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:35:49 GMT

EPISODE 35:

Patrick MacNee probes the story of two of the most active serial killers of our time in this very special episode

of The TV Crime documentary "Harmed to Death."

Over the last 18 months during the Cat Noir Comedy Podcast there have been exactly 34 on screen deaths.

Now this may sound like a coincidence but believe me, it's not. Our final, 35th death has not let happened,

but when it does, it will activate the #35 protocol that has been running since the very first episode. A klaxon

will indicate that the 35th death is imminent. Do not be alarmed. You will not need to do anything, other than,

sit back and enjoy this episode. Why not have a bet with a friend, as to who will be that all important 35th death.

Geoff the Baker might be #35... stay tuned to find out.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Halloween Special: Norwegian Box of Horrors

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 18:35:41 GMT

An ancient horror. A terrible curse that strikes without warning, without remorse, without any real meaning.

Join Matt and Kev for a special Hallowe'en adventure so terrifying that, according to Warren: "you'll definitely soil yourself".

Don't worry though; if things get too scary, you can always call Ghost Frighteners...

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode due to trick or treat commitments.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Attack of the 5ft Bjork

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 18:30:37 GMT

Duke Render tries to save the Titanic but gets stuck in a reoccurring nightmare.

Lead, Lead Detective Michaels has a house call to make.

Digging Deeper finally gets a touch of class, whilst Geoff and Petunia are plagued by a screaming banshee.

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode because he couldn't be bothered.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Over the Fence

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 18:30:50 GMT

Craig Crayons helps a hoarder, Dr Pentagram makes some unusual diagnoses, and we finally learn

the ancient secrets of origami. Meanwhile, on Over The Fence, Lionel and Richie talk us through

some of their favourite seasonal foods... but what are they really up to?

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode for political reasons.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Bi-Curious Tale of The Pink Tiger and Burrowing Owl

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 18:30:26 GMT

Do you have a theft/arson/disappearance that can not be explained?

Then maybe you need the services of the Great Panthera Detective: The Pink Tiger.

Visit him at his mansion and relax in one of the many planning rooms, whilst explaining your problems

and being waited on by his butler, Burrowing Owl. However, the price paid is never money.

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode as all his teeth have fallen out.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Bran Flake Chronicles

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 18:30:11 GMT

A night of particularly heavy rain spells disaster for Bundy and Ted on Stargazing Live, as the exits are blocked,

trapping them in the observatory. Luckily, thanks to a fortuitously timed competition win, they'll have plenty to eat.

Elsewhere, Malcolm is trying to find the right sort of applicant to hire at Animal Help...

Geoff the baker may not actually be a baker. More to follow.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of our Episode Titles is missing

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 18:30:12 GMT

Ian and Stella are back in the studio, but Juggy Brown wants his revenge.

Carl Terminator gets his own TV Show, Cunch of Bunts release a new single and the Tour De France passes by,

but the big question is, how many sheep make a "Shep?"

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode as he is busy recycling.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Empire of Chocolate Teapots

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 18:30:13 GMT

Season 3 kicks off with Dale Alan asking more probing questions on Digging Deeper. Meanwhile, a scandal

at the Twurzels factory leads Lead Lead Detective Michaels to uncover a controversy so sinister, it sparks a

chocolate ripple across the entire Cat Noir universe, but why does Demi Moore keep phoning?

Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode due to Covid 19 travel restrictions.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Pynming August Sun Stone Movie (Part Four)

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 18:30:30 GMT

Part 4: The Quest for the Stone.

Separated from Jim and forced to take his search to Morocco, Charlie seeks out the final painting, whilst Jim

has a strange encounter in the snow, and A. Sean Bean proves without a shadow of a doubt that two Jim's isn't

necessarily a good thing.

Join Charlie and Jim on their final leg of their adventure in the concluding part of the Hollywood Action Movie,

where high seas come with high stakes, Moroccan tangerine sellers come with tangerines, and precious stones

are always wanted by men with guns.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on

whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

The Moroccan fight sequence features audio recorded by Kevin Luce and downloaded from www.freesound.org

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Pynming August Sun Stone Movie (Part Three)

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 18:30:54 GMT

Part 3: Risky Business

After a narrow escape from The Great Ostrich Casino in Vegas, Charlie and Jim head to Washington DC Comics

to find the third painting. Only, A. Sean Bean's has plans too. And now the FBI are watching...

Join Charlie and Jim's adventure in the third episode of this 4 part Hollywood Action Movie.

Where lives are lost, trust is short, and Senator Porkchop shows us how the wheels of politics really spin.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on

whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Pynming August Sun Stone Movie (Part Two)

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 18:30:08 GMT

Part Two: A Whole heap of Art.

After a visit to The Great London Museum of Englishness, Charlie and Jim are pursued across the city by A. Sean Bean

and his goons. Aided by a mysterious but helpful German woman who could be easily mistaken for Arnold Schwarzenegger,

the two leave England to widen their search for more paintings in the grand ole US of A.

Join Charlie, Jim, and maybe Stella too in the second episode of this 4 part Hollywood Action Movie,

where the hunt for the stone becomes a gamble for life. Only in Vegas.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on

whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Pynming August Sun Stone Movie (Part One)

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 18:30:45 GMT

Part 1: Forgotten Treasures

Novelist, Charlie Blunderwedge and his friend and literary agent, Jim Bond, are thrown into adventure after discovering mysterious writings on the

back of Charlie's new painting. But what does it all mean? And why does a man who looks exactly like Sean Bean care so much?

Join Charlie, Jim, and a whole heap of Hollywood characters as they set out on their quest to solve the question no one knew needed answering:

What is the Pynming August Sun Stone?

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on

whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missing (Episode 6)

Mon, 23 May 2022 18:30:12 GMT

In this final episode of the Cat Noir miniseries; the remaining survivors reach the windmill and learn the truth behind the plane crash.

Are they in purgatory? Or maybe trapped in a time loop? Has this all been a hallucination?

Or just an insane scheme, concocted by a failed actor, desperate to get on the podcast?

All the answers you need are here. In this episode. Waiting to be heard.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on

whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to a restraining order.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missing (Episode 5)

Mon, 09 May 2022 18:30:33 GMT

Following the horror of the swimming pool, the survivors find a door marked 'Quarantine' on the side of a disused windmill.

Inside, they'll find answers to the power behind the island. Meanwhile, Danny Peaks learns he can't outrun his past. So he packs his bags.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Why not follow us on Instagram

@catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us.

Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode. Where are you Geoff? Give us a call.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missing (Episode 4)

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 18:30:33 GMT

Following the heart breaking tragedy of the coconut incident, things are becoming sweaty and tense in the jungle.

Maybe the survivors could cool down with a nice swim, but nothing comes easy in a jungle, where everything wants to eat you.

Meanwhile, Danny sends Warren on a mission and finally meets Salutations Binweave face to face.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode despite the numerous messages left for him.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missing (Episode 3)

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 18:30:01 GMT

Something waits, echoing through the jungle, while Alfie has a flashback of daddy issue sized proportions.

Elsewhere, an unlikely duo is formed as Danny and Warren investigate the tickets with the help of Warren's friend: a real life computer wizard.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode as he is on holiday in Bermuda and is not taking calls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missing (Episode 2)

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 18:30:35 GMT

A woman awakes on a beach, bruised, bloody and lost. Recognition of where she is and what has happened begins to float across her face.

She winces back the pain…

Who else has survived? Where are they? Why did this happen? What animal would make the perfect family pet?

Meanwhile a Heron needs collecting from the airport.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to his ongoing commitments to baking, regardless of any scheduled court appearances.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missing (Episode 1)

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 19:30:16 GMT

Nine very different people all have one thing in common: they've been gifted a holiday to Bermuda. Not all of them are going to make it. Unconnected and unknowing, everyone boards the plane while Danny Peaks gets a mysterious phone call and Passport Control proves that no matter what actions you take, you can't cheat fate.

This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to recent allegations.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rouge Chien or the Egg on the hill

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 19:30:44 GMT

The hottest new podcast is taking the world by storm: Rouge Chien.

A hot mess of alternative scenes, audience added outtakes, strange sound effects and impossible sketches that somehow feel strangely familiar.

Matt thinks it's the best thing since pre-unsliced cut bread got sliced. Is he right?

Kev's not so sure. In fact, Kev thinks something far more sinister is afoot...

Meanwhile, two phone calls converge and become trapped in a time loop shattering reality.

From this fracture, within the fabric of the known universe comes an egg; which falls to stand on top of a hill.

A mere, ten years later, it begins to crack.

But how do all these events relate? You can bet your last bread slice you'll find out on Rouge Chien.

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders, with special guest star Alex Beckhelling.

Cat noir is edited by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer. Rouge Chien is edited by a dog in a box surrounded by Herons.

Some sound effects downloaded from zapsplat.com

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.

Who even is Geoff the Baker?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Possession of Tricia Steven's husband

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 19:00:30 GMT

Tricia wants nothing more than a normal family and a quiet life. Life has other plans for her.

Gordon wants for his wife to be happy. But life has other plans for him too.

And now, tonight, in a small house, in a boring residential suburb, one man will battle with his inner demons for the sake of his sanity and his family.

Self belief, therapy and religion may not work, so why don't we all sing a song?

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders and guest starred Maisie Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.

Some sound effects obtained from zapsplat - find them online

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe too.

Geoff the Baker's secrets hide in the small print.

All music (C) Kevin Chilvers

Play Cat Noir Comedy Podcast presents: music from Possession by Kevin Chilvers on Amazon Music

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Slew of Sleuths

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 19:00:06 GMT

Kelvin The Robot goes shopping, family ties are explored in "Cops on Blocks," Dale Allen looks into Road Rage and Matt and Kev return from their road trip, but have they found the Marple?

Listen in to find out the answers to these questions and more.

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt "Coconut" Sanders and Kevin "Apricot" Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Coconut Engineer.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our coconut. I mean podcast.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com and Coconuts (patient pending) supplied by Geoff the Baker.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A pocket full of passports

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 19:00:16 GMT

Imagine if you will, a man calling the same number four times, expecting different results each time.

Is this the type of man you would assume will one day, run the country?

A buffoon, loon, a baboon, a cruel twisted, Babaffloon.

Isn't it more likely that this man would fail? Listen in to find out.

Whilst you are here, you may as well know it's the return of Agony Aunt and the end of Duke Render. Gulp!

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They do it with Sat-Navs

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 19:00:24 GMT

Can Matt and Kev find the missing Marple?

Can Ian save Stella from Juggy Brown?

Can Duke Render turn up on time or at least within a few miles of his target?

Can Chester the dog save Bundy and Ted from non-stop boogie-woogie?

Do the can-can can-can with Cat Noir.

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marple Syrup

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 19:00:09 GMT

Matt and Kev are on hot on the trail of their missing Marple as Stella finds her old magic doesn't work on everyone.

Duke Render finds himself off target, Dale Allen sets his sights on a prime story whilst Charlie gives Jim the run down on his neighbours.

Geoff the Baker was unable to appear in this week's episode.

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of our Marples is missing

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 19:00:07 GMT

What was that? A foghorn, a chocolate advert, a werewolf, the swooping of a dragon?

Just one more thing... how many Marples make a cupboard full of Marples?

Find out the answers to these pressing questions and more by entering the World of Cat Noir.

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Too Many Marples

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 19:00:26 GMT

We're back for a second season and returning in style as we present "Too many Marples" a story within the sketch show, inside the comedy podcast.

A murder, mystery just waiting to be solved nine times over.

Meanwhile, Matt is convinced Kev has opened a café in his front room and Ian returns to the studio without Stella, and finds himself in a sticky situation.

This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.

Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Patrick MacNee introduces the second season

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 19:00:49 GMT

Join Patrick MacNee as he fights Ogre's, dragons and applies for car insurance whilst introducing the second season of the Cat Noir Comedy Podcast.

Steed is back in the saddle; dressing gowns optional.

Written and performed by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers.

Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker lives a bourgeois lifestyle but he'd hate anyone to know that.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Invasion of the Shadow Pixie People

Sun, 24 Oct 2021 18:00:28 GMT

Bundy and Ted have always dreamt about seeing the stars but maybe tonight they should have their telescope facing at the Earth.

Are they already here? Do they walk among us? Can we even see them?

Join two humble astrologers, two SETI scientists and a Hollywood star as they do battle to save our planet from the Shadow Pixie People.

Geoff the Baker does not feature in this week's special.

Cat Noir are Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Play Cat Noir Comedy Podcast presents: Music from The Invasion of the Shadow Pixie People by Kevin Chilvers on Amazon Music

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Story of Creeping Jazz

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 18:00:09 GMT

For Dale Allen: This is his chance to interview a cultural phenomenon.

For Lead Detective Michaels: This is his chance to finally get that promotion.

For Charlie: This is his chance to turn years of writing to his advantage.

For the unnamed policeman: It's his chance to get a line and wear a Gillet.

For years: sinister murders have taken place across the globe. All that is known about the killer is that they wear a beret and are accompanied by their own soundtrack, what the police call "The Creeping Jazz." Join us and unravel the mystery.

The Story of Creeping Jazz includes permission to use parts of "Feverish Rhythm by Rasputin" "Real Trumpet by Chockehold" and "Jazz kid reverse guitar by Johnny808" all from www.looperman.com

check it out to find free loops and samples.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Play Cat Noir comedy podcast presents: Music from The Story of Creeping Jazz by Kevin Chilvers on Amazon Music

Geoff the Baker has been reactively added to this episode summary... and he is not pleased.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heron Now

Mon, 27 Sep 2021 18:00:21 GMT

Do you need advise? Then give Aunty Mable a call.

Need a door knocker. Don't go to this shop.

Argh... stop throwing fish at me, I'm trying to write an episode summary.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heron Shoehorn

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 18:00:19 GMT

Welcome to Passport Control, if only there was an I.T system's analyser on hand on to help.

Bundy invents a machine to see the night's sky whilst we find out how hurricanes get their names.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heron After

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 18:00:52 GMT

This is war. Herons vs Humans and Herrings. Time to rebrand.

Meanwhile Ian gets a shock, Dale has his photo taken and Stargazing Live receive a rather upsetting email.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heron Aid

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 18:00:15 GMT

Dale Allen meets the sinister surgeon Dr Karlous Kennedious as the Grand Visor of the Ninth Siege of the Cult of Herons addresses his followers.

Ian and Stella talk wildlife, whilst John decides to buy his wife an Alexa. Elsewhere Kevin makes this a special episode for Matt.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of our Herons is missing

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 18:00:59 GMT

There is a Heron trapped in-between the sketches on the podcast. Someone please send help.

Meanwhile Kelvin the Robot replaces the white goods in Alfie's kitchen, Stella stands by Ian and Dale Allen uncovers some sinister surgery.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heron Addict

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 18:00:00 GMT

Kev and Matt start their podcast whilst Dale Allen makes a terrible mistake, Charlie tries his hand at horror, Danny Peaks makes an urgent call and Stella just can't get the words right.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cat Noir Season One Trailer

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 05:49:03 GMT

Welcome to the world of Cat Noir. A comedy sketch show within a podcast.

Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.

Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com

Music (c) Kevin Chilvers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.