In this episode, Honey is joined by Cat, the head of creative, community at education at female-led porn company Ersties, to mull it over.

They talk about what it's really like working for a female-led porn company, how it made Cat realise she wanted to date women, what the state of the porn industry is like today, and whether you can really be a feminist and work in porn.

You can find Cat on Instagram and Ersties on their free SFW website or paid platform, and on Instagram and TikTok.

You can find more of Sextras on our Substack, Instagram, TikTok, and website. Leave us a review or get in touch with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com with questions, dilemmas, or what you want to hear next.

We'll see you in a couple of weeks with our next episode ahead of Lesbian Visibility Day. See you then!

Produced and hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone’s in a situationship nowadays, and no one’s fucking! (We don’t have to tell you, we’re sure). If you need a little extra helping hand, Amari joins to give us her dating and sex tips.

Thanks for listening! You can find Amari on her admin website or her sex coaching website. As always, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok, Substack (where you can find an extended version of this episode) and our website. Get in touch with us there or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com with your questions, confessions, or what you want to see next.

See you in a couple of weeks with the next episode. Byeeeee.

Hosted and produced by Honey Jane Wyatt

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Send us a screenshot of your submission to sextraspodcast@gmail.com or our Instagram DMs. Submissions close 31 March. Must be based in EU or UK to enter.

A carefully curated post-break-up Instagram profile. A £3.5k wedding videographer. Shit-talking your ex on TikTok. We're obsessed with appearances and (guess what?!) it's impacting our relationships.

In the first episode of the series, Honey was joined by relationships editor Daniella Parete Clarke to talk about how we're all policing each others' behaviour. This week Dani comes on the pod again to talk about the flip-side of that: how we're all performing for an imaginary audience.

We start the episode by looking at Guy Debord's theory of the spectacle, and how it's showing up in politics, the workplace, our obsession with looksmaxxing, and our sex and relationships lives. We unpack why we can't stop putting on a show on dates, and why it's dangerous to force vulnerability and pleasure instead of just feel it.

Thank you for listening! You can find us on Instagram, TikTok, and Substack (where we have tons of articles about sex and relationships and exclusive content), or contact us via our website to get involved in the conversation or tell us what you want us to talk about next.

Got a sex/relationship/friendship-related confession or dilemma? Submit it anonymously here and we'll make a whole episode or write an article just for you.

In this episode we reference:

• Guy Debord's The Society of the Spectacle
• The inevitable rise of gooning, Cosmopolitan UK
• The Good Squad, Harper's
• The relentless rise of impossible male beauty standards, The Guardian
• The Unreal Spectacle of Trump's Authoritarianism, NYT
• I did no work for a year and no one noticed, Leyla Kazim, Substack
• The secret power of oversharing: How saying too much became the key to getting ahead, The Independent
• Timothée and Kylie really need you to know they're still together, Dazed
• Hinge's D.A.T.E report
• Till DVD release do us part: how far will Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi take their Wuthering Heights showmance?, The Guardian
• I do? The rise and rise of the absurdly long engagement, The Independent
• Is It Just Us? Or Are Engagement Rings Getting Bigger? Cosmopolitan US
• Since When Did Break-Ups Get So Public?, Vogue

Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt and co-hosted by Danielle Parete Clarke

Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So let's get into it: in this episode we paint a picture of the breadth of digital suppression, and why exactly we all need to be talking about it more. We speak to co-founder of campaign group CensHERship, Clio Wood, about what's happening to women's health content creators, as well as Kalila Bolton, co-founder of sexual wellness and education platform SheSpot, and Amari, a sex coach and virtual assistant, about their experience with having their accounts shadowbanned or paid ads removed.

We look at why this censorship is happening and its impact, and ask porn historian Noelle Perdue whether legislating against sexual content online is the most effective approach.

Thanks for tuning in, if you enjoy the episode please leave us a review wherever you're listening! Subscribe to our Substack to make sure you never miss an episode or an article, get involved in the conversation, and let us know what you want to hear next. You can find us on Instagram, TikTok, and our website, or get in touch with us via email sextraspodcast@gmail.com with what you want to hear next.

You can find more on our guests below:

• CensHERship on their website, LinkedIn, or Instagram
• SheSpot on their website or Instagram
• Amari on Instagram or her website
• Noelle Perdue on her Substack.

In this episode, we frequently reference:

• CensHERship's 2025 White Paper
• 'Algospeak and performing for the alforithmic imaginary' in Dazed
• Noelle's Substack post: 'Are you 18 or over? Are you my mother? Are you my sexy surveillance state?'

Contact us with questions about other sources used!

Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt

Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, never fear, because in this episode we're joined by the wonderful Gigi Engle to discuss everything you need to know about kink as a beginner. We start the episode answering some listener questions (to access more subscribe to our Substack @sextras) before jumping into why we need to talk about kink (hint: because more people engage in it than you realise, and it can be dangerous if you get it wrong!).

Gigi tells me about her own journey into kink and explains what a kink actually is, and what it's not (ie. it's not just BDSM and foot fetishes). We look at how power dynamics come into it, and why they're not as scary as they might sound, how to know what kinks you're into, and what the most common kinks, or kink-related fantasies, are.

To help you stay emotionally and physically safe when practicing kink, Gigi advises us on how to bring up your kink to a partner, and what steps you can take together before even thinking about exploring it in the bedroom – or wherever else you might want to.

Thanks so much for listening! You can find Gigi on her Instagram, website, or Substack, and buy her book from the Common Press or your favourite indie bookshop near you (or Am*zon if you must!). We've changed our name on Instagram to @s3xtrasworld (more on this next episode), but as always you can find us there, on our website, TikTok, or subscribe to our Substack (pretty please!). Don't forget to review us wherever you're listening and we'll miss you until next time 💋.

Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt

Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That's where sexual confidence is crucial. This week, we're joined by Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, the dating expert on Channel 4's Celebs Go Dating, host of the Luvbites podcast, and professor of sexual and relational communication to to help us build the vocabulary for talking about sex, desire, and pleasure — but without the cringe, don't worry.

We start with a conversation about how sexual confidence shows up outside the bedroom, how it's different from sexual self-esteem, and what you can actually do to feel more confident expressing your desires (hint: practice helps). Dr Tara then talks us through her sexual profile quiz. A part of her recent book How Do You Like It? A Guide for Getting What You Want (In Bed) the quiz offers 16 sexuality 'types' – or rather, practical terms you can use to communicate with your partner.

Whether you're new to having sex, exploring your pleasure, or just talking about it with your partner, we're here to offer some hope! With a little time, effort, and introspection, learning how to describe what turns you on is possible, and it can take you from having someone touch nowhere near your clit (not speaking from experience or anything...) to multiple, mind-blowing orgasms.

We hope you enjoy the episode. If you want to hear more from Dr Tara, you can follow her on Instagram or TikTok. She has a ton of resources available on her website, and her book is available to buy at major retailers like Amazon, Barnes and Noble (US) and Waterstones (UK). Go check it out!

To share your own experiences with talking about sex, you can get in touch with us on Instagram or TikTok, our website, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Two podcast episodes a month not enough for you? Fairsies, but don't worry – you can subscribe to our Substack for bonus episodes, exclusive articles about sex and relationships, and a subscriber-only chat to get all the tea on our sex and dating lives.

⏩ Had enough of me yapping? Skip to 14m50 to hear my interview with Tara.

📖 For some extra reading, you can find the Cosmopolitan article I mention here (you'll need an Apple News subscription, FYI). Read Sextras Magazine's profile of Dr Tara here.

Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt

Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve not heard of the extremely esoteric (joking!) philosopher Foucault, don’t worry – we start the episode explaining exactly what panopticon theory is and why you should care, before diving into how we’re policing each other in every aspect of our relationships.

You’ll be thankful to hear it’s not all theory, because we look at examples of panopticism in pop culture, like boyfriends being embarrassing and the Coldplay kiss cam (RIP that CEO) and discuss how this behaviour is slipping into our real lives. From telling our friends their boyfriends suck in group chats, to waiting for them to slip up on social media or IRL so we can cut them off, we’re all becoming cops in our relationships. 

While some kind of accountability is always needed, especially when it comes to casual dating, we talk about why this rise in surveillance is making us change our own behaviour and how it’s only making things worse for minorities in particular (classic!). 

We hope you enjoy the episode. We’ll be back with two free episodes each month, but if you want to hear more you can subscribe to us over on Substack @sextras for exclusive advice episodes and access to exclusive features and personal essays all about sex and dating. 

You can also find us on Instagram and TikTok @sextrasworld, or get in touch with your own experiences or what you want to hear at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We’ll see you in a couple of weeks with the first guest episode of the season and we can’t wait… dare we say we’ve missed you?!

Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt and guest hosted by Daniella Parete Clarke.

Music by Sacha Puttnam. 

Skip to:

2m10: Intro

8m22: The panopticon of dating

24m37: Gen Z is afraid of being cringe

30:20: Helicopter parenting and friend-policing

45m: West Elm Caleb and the Coldplay Kiss

59m24: How surveillance culture impacts queer relationships

1h10m: West End Girl, and how the panopticon upholds systems of power

1m19: What to look out for this season (and subscribe to the Substack pretty please!) 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We discuss how our perception of sex, relationships, and friendship have evolved from the start of our 20s to our mid-20s (ew), from going after lots of sex at university for validation and attention, to discovering how sex fits into our lives as adults in evolving relationships.

Honey tells us what she has learned through each relationship and breakup since starting the podcast, and her journey from being in a sex-heavy relationship, to celibacy, and eventually re-learning her pleasure. Maria explains how her six-year relationship has changed over the time, and reveals how being in a long-term relationship has impacted her sex life, and her own personal relationship with pleasure.

We also briefly discuss how we approach friendships differently now, compared to when we were at uni, and what life should look like in your 20s versus our real life experiences. Finally, we comment on Gen Z attitudes to sex, and how much our sexuality is impacted by broader societal attitudes to sex in culture. Attitudes to sex have changed a lot since we started the podcast, and we're excited (and equally terrified...) by how it's going to evolve for us and, more importantly, for all of you!

Thanks, as always, for listening <3. For more content on sex and relationships in your 20s, follow us on TikTok or Instagram @sextrasworld or find our digital magazine and more episodes of the podcast on our website.

You can contact us to let us know what you want to hear next on our social media, or at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We hope you enjoyed and we'll be back soon (?) with another episode.

Edited by Maria

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start with the headlines, namely revealing a new relationship, the challenges of living with a partner, moving out of a family home, and the fact that neither of us are unemployed any longer.

Honey discusses moving out of her family home for the first time at 24, the shame of still living at home in your 20s and how relationships with your family change once you've moved out.

She reveals she has a girlfriend (full 180, all or nothing baby!) and discusses what it's been like having a healthy, committed relationship for the first time as an adult. She also gives some insight into what it's like telling someone you're dating that you have a sex and relationships podcast (lol).

Meanwhile, Maria has been living with her boyfriend (now of five years) for over a year so she delves into what sharing a space with a partner has been like, and how it's changed over time. She reflects on whether she's gotten any better at setting boundaries with her boyfriend, especially when it comes to dividing household chores, and putting up with a man's standards of cleanliness.

Lastly, they both discuss how they dealt with being unemployed for so long in their 20s; the desperation, shame, and low self esteem (holy trinity) that come with that and our thoughts on finally being employed.

Thanks for listening! For more content on sex and relationships in your 20s, follow us on TikTok or Instagram @sextrasworld or find our digital magazine and more episodes of the podcast on our website.

You can contact us to let us know what you want to hear next on our social media, or at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We hope you enjoyed and we'll be back next month with another episode!

Edited by Maria

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As someone who regularly works with young boys in schools, we talk to Ben about what representation boys see of masculinity. In his Ted Talk, notes that boys will be what we teach them to be, so we talk about what characteristics boys currently associate with masculinity and being a man. 

Because toxic representations of masculinity result in violence, predominantly against women and girls, Ben explains how we can talk to men and boys to help them unlearn the more toxic traits of masculinity and reframe masculine traits to help themselves and those around them.

Finally, we end the episode by talking about what boys think is expected of them when it comes to sex, and how sex education and male role models can do better.

We hope you enjoy the episode, we’ve wanted to have Ben on since we started Sextras and we’re so happy to have finally spoken to him and learnt from his wisdom. For more of Ben, find out more about Beyond Equality or watch his Ted Talks here:

Boys won't be boys, boy will be what we teach them to be

We need to talk to boys about online misogyny

As always, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextrasworld, on our website http://sextrasworld.com (http://sextrasworld.com) or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com). 

We are now a magazine – for more content about masculinity check out our articles on our website, and you can pitch us your ideas at sextrasmag@gmail.com (mailto:sextrasmag@gmail.com).

We’ll be back next week with the final episode of the miniseries — see you then!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start the episode telling Sarah what we’re experimenting with in our sex lives, before diving into the calendar to find different sex toys, from vibrators, to butt plugs, cock rings and restraints. 

Sarah talks us through how to use different sex toys in versatile ways, whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned user. We learn a lot about how adaptable different sex toys can be, as well as new ways to incorporate them into our sex lives – by ourselves, and with a partner !

Thank you so much to Lovehoney for sending us your 24 day advent calendar. It’s now on sale with 60% off for Black Friday, so definitely go check it out if you’re looking for something exciting to spice up the end of your year! 

You can find it us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextrasworld, and find our episodes, plus read lots of exciting articles about sex and relationships, over on our website http://sextrasworld.com. We’ll be back on Tuesday with another episode of our Masculinity miniseries, see you then! 

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After years of wondering what men talk to their friends about, we thought we’d find out for ourselves. In the process, we’ve probably lost all of our (admittedly, very few) male friends by asking them endless questions about their friendships.

We start by talking about men’s friendships with other men, and let us say, it really is looking quite dire. We discuss how they make plans, what they do together, what they talk about and, specifically, how they talk about sex and relationships.

Our survey on masculinity asked whether masculinity is something we’re attracted to in friends, so we also hear from non-male people how masculinity plays into their friendships, and whether they want to be friends with men. 

There seems to be a lot of suspicion from all sides towards men and women being friends, so we also ask whether men and women can truly be friends, whether conversations with male friends and female friends are the same and how women often take on a lot of emotional labour from men if they can’t process their feelings. We also ponder the ethics of having male friends when you’re in a (straight) relationship, and how our endless societal programming towards seeking male validation can be wrongly interpreted by our male friends. 

We hope you enjoy this episode, it’s worth noting we are aware some of these conversations are very binary and heteronormative, and also generalise. This episode is based on our own research and interpretation of that, and we definitely don’t think our findings are true across the board. If you have different experiences with friendship you feel aren’t covered, please feel free to share with us over email sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com) or you can find us on our website sextrasworld.com (http://sextrasworld.com) or social media @sextrasworld. We’d love to hear your perspective! 

We’ll be back next week with the wonderful activist Ben Hurst to talk about moving towards a positive masculinity, but in the meantime you can find more content about masculinity over on Sextras Magazine. 

Produced by Mable Productions 

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Masculinity has been under scrutiny the last few years: on one side, there are claims that masculinity is “toxic”, “fragile” or “in crisis”, and on the other there are those who claim “not all men” are responsible for this poor perception of masculinity. 

While we fully support bad behaviour being held to account here at Sextras, we wanted to discuss what masculinity really means to gen z in 2023. Is masculinity good or bad? Is it always related to men? What are the characteristics of masculinity? And is masculinity really still held in high regards by our generation as a whole? 

We asked our Instagram followers all about their perception of masculinity in a survey, so we read through your answers and discuss our own perception of masculinity to try to find the answer to what masculinity means in 2023 (hint, we don’t find one but it’s not looking as bleak as we might have thought!) 

We are thrilled to announce that Sextras is now expanding into a digital magazine. You can find all episodes of the podcast and articles expanding on the personal and cultural experiences of sex and relationships at www.sextrasworld.com (http://www.sextrasworld.com), or our Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextrasworld. We’ll be back next week with another episode about male friendships, see you then!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam 

TikTok mentioned: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJoUvJW8/ (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJoUvJW8/)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, we’re joined by spiritual and sexual psychologist Kaamna Bhojwani to talk about healing sexual shame through spirituality. Kaamna starts by telling us what sexual shame is, where it comes from and how it shows up in our lives. For women, and older women particularly, sexual shame can separate them from embracing pleasure in their lives as a whole, as well as causing body image issues.

Kaamna explains how spirituality can be used to move away from sexual shame, from using meditation to get back in touch with our bodies to examining and unlearning the sexual scripts we were taught during childhood. Overcoming sexual shame is all about looking at what beliefs about sex serve us and re-writing those that harm us so that we can prevent it from passing down through the generations. 

You can find Kaamna on her website or Instagram @kaamnalive.

We hope you enjoy this episode and it inspires you to look at how sexual shame shows up in your life. You can find more of Kaamna on her website or on Instagram. As always, you can find us on our website, on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextraspodcast or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

We’ll be back soon, make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss our next miniseries on Masculinity. See you then!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Carly tells us how she started Aurore and how erotica is different from other kinds of porn. Whereas visual porn can be limited in terms of the body types, genders and positions involved, erotica leaves more up to the imagination, so Carly explains how this appeals particularly to women, trans folk and queer people. 

Carly has also had feedback about Aurore that it gives representation to sexual minorities and can be great education for people hoping to learn about how to give women pleasure. 

Whether you’re looking to improve your sexual imagination, realise what it is you like by reading about other people’s real life sex experiences or simply want to try out a new kind of porn or erotica, Aurore has a whole collection for you.

You can read Aurore here, or find them on Instagram. Carly is on Instagram @carlydangerous. As always you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, or on our website.

We’ll be back soon with another miniseries, or you can find our most recent miniseries about Family, Parenting and Sex here. Can’t wait to see you then!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

But parenting has changed a lot over the years and what went for one generation can completely change for another. With all the unpacking of toxic masculinity, changing attitudes towards work and greater acceptance of LGBTQIA+ identities, we predict that will make for radically different parenting. So, to get down to the truth of the matter (and of course there is no one answer) we surveyed out Gen Z audience to delve into whether they want to be parents and what Gen Z will be like as parents, from different parenting styles to how they want to talk to their kids about sex.

We start by asking them about their relationship with their parents, what they were told about sex and relationships growing up and how they want to change that when they talk to their kids about sex. That is, if they even want to have kids, so we asked who they want to have kids with and how they’d want to raise them if they do. We also asked how Gen Z think attitudes towards sex have changed from generation to generation, including what their grandparents and parents think and how that impacts their relationship with their families.

We hope you have enjoyed our Family, Parenting & Sex miniseries; if you have please leave us a (5 star!) review wherever you listen and don’t forget to subscribe to make sure you don’t miss our next one. You can find more of us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast or our website and you can get in contact with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com) to request future episodes. Pitching guidelines are on our website. See you next time!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author of the incredible resource Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal, Dr Tina Schermer Sellers, joins us this week to discuss how to raise kids in a shame-free way, including “drip-feeding” them snippets of information about sex and their bodies throughout life, starting from toddler-age. 

We start the episode hearing about Tina’s own upbringing, which was exactly the kind of parenting she has found is beneficial to kids in her research. Tina explains what sex-positive and shame-free parenting means and what parents need to do to make sure they’re not passing on their own shame to their kids.

Dr Tina gets into the different developmental stages kids go through with understanding sex, and what is age appropriate to teach them at each stage, including what to do if your kid is touching themselves or trying to experiment with other children. You might experience conflict in your own relationships, so she also goes into what is appropriate to share with your kids and what to do if they ask you questions. 

We then get into how to talk about bodies in positive ways; Dr Tina explains that not having these crucial conversations with your children can set them up for loneliness and feeling as though they are unequipped for the world later on in life, which can in turn make them look to harmful examples in the world around them. 

Thank you so much to Dr Tina for joining us, we learnt so much about how to raise sex-positive children and we hope you did too. You can find more from her on her website and find her Instagram @drtinashameless, or on Twitter @tinassellers. You can also find the Northwest Institute on Intimacy on Instagram and buy her books on Amazon.

As always, you can find more of us on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We’ll be back next week with the last episode of our Family, Parenting & Sex miniseries, make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it! 

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cecile Gasnault, brand director of Smile Makers Collection, joins us this week to tell us all about the research the company has done into having sex after birth. 

Mothers - being the ones who have actually given birth - are often worried about having sex after birth and the research shows that they aren’t given nearly enough information about when the right time is to start having sex again or how to go about doing it. They might be scared of experiencing pain during sex or causing unnecessary complications in their healing. 

Cecile tells us what Smile Makers have discovered in their research with Mumsnet and all about their vibrator The Whisperer, the first ever created with new mothers’ pleasure in mind. 

Listen in to hear all the details, you can find more of Smile Makers, the sex toy company focused on women's pleasure, on their website and their Instagram. As always you can find more of us on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook and Threads @sextraspodcast, on our website or contact us sextraspodcast@gmail.com. 

This episode is part of our Family & Parenting miniseries, find the whole miniseries here. Or, catch up with previous related episodes like ‘Talking With My Mum’ Parts 1 and 2, Why Learn Your Attachment Style?, Family Matters and Our Sexual Genesis.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve all been sold the idea that you’re meant to experiment in your 20s, something that our guest this week missed out on. Author and professor Jessica Hendry Nelson joins us to talk about being in a relationship for the whole of her 20s and eventually ending that relationship because of differing interests.

Jessica starts the episode telling us about her unconventional experience of her 20s, living with her ex-husband and the fact that they didn’t talk about having kids until it was too late. Having had a baby with her new partner just 10 weeks ago, Jessica tells us about deciding to become a parent: whether that’s something you’re ever truly ready for and how she found a partner that was right for her to raise kids with. 

We discuss the expectations that come with motherhood and how she learnt to be a parent from her mother and other family dynamics she had growing up. This includes how her anticipatory grief surrounding her brother’s addiction affected her throughout her life and whether she thinks it impacted the relationships she chose. We also cover how we can outgrow a relationship but that her female friendship have been a constant and fulfilled things in her life that are not fair expectations to have in a relationship, or are simply things that a man can’t fulfil. 

To end the episode Jessica tells us about her book, Joy Rides Through the Tunnel of Grief, a memoir in essays that comes out September 1. You can pre-order the book through her website and find more of Jessica on her Instagram. As always, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Facebook @sextraspodcast, on our website or get in touch with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. 

We’ll be back next week with Cecile Gasnault, brand director of Smile Makers Collection, to talk about having sex after giving birth. We hope you’re enjoying our Parenting, Family & Sex miniseries and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode hearing about Mariah’s experience with low libido in her 20s and how that influenced her and her partner to find new ways of approaching sex. Mariah explains that sex education is so rarely focused on women’s pleasure and it wasn’t until she heard about tantric practice that she became aware of the many ways for how to pleasure yourself or a partner.

You really do learn something new every day, and so part of Beducated’s mission is to encourage people to continue learning about sex and pleasure throughout their lives, so Mariah tells us about the different sexual phases you can experience throughout your life and how sex changes as you age. 

Just as we always talk about, establishing a sexual dialogue early on can set you up for a life of success, despite whatever changes might happen, and Mariah gives us tips for how to do that in a way that honours our sexual needs and ensures that we continue experiencing pleasure throughout our lives. 

Thank you so much to Mariah for joining us. You can watch her Ted talk here and sign up for Beducated with a 40% discount on the yearly package here. As always you can find us on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Facebook @sextraspodcast, on our website (http://www.sextraspodcast.com or get in contact with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We’ll be 

back next week with the second episode of our miniseries, can’t wait to see you then!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We started the podcast three years ago and what we thought as 20 year olds about how we should talk about sex was very different to now, so we unpack how that's changed. It's obviously been extremely helpful for us to have close friends who talk about sex as much as you want to, but for everyone it's not that easy, so we also discuss why it can be hard to talk about sex but that it’s vital to anyway. 

Just as it’s normal to have sex - everyone does, shocker - it’s also normal to talk about having sex and we need to keep doing it so that everyone feels validated to express when they feel uncomfortable or when they don’t know if they’re doing something wrong. Establishing that dialogue from a young age, and normalising making mistakes, can help to set us up for a life of curiosity and empowerment (particularly for LGBTQIA+ people).

We hope we’ve helped you in some way to talk about sex in the last 100 episodes and if so it would be really helpful if you left us a review on Apple Podcasts or rating wherever you listen. 

Don’t forget to subscribe, we have an amazing miniseries about family and parenting coming next week with some insanely insightful guests. Don’t miss it- you can keep up to date on our Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Threads @sextraspodcast and also visit our website.

We’ll see you on Tuesday, can’t wait!

Produced by Mable Productions 

Original music by Sacha Puttnam 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We recorded an episode with Layla over on her podcast, which you can listen to here or wherever you get your podcasts.

Layla delves into what made her stop having sex in the first place, before offering tips about how to make a sex bucket list and for finding the right people to go along with it. 

From sex parties, to squirting and threesomes, Layla has experienced a plethora of wild experiences along the way and she leaves us with some valuable advice for jumping back into the world of sex when you’ve been out of the game for a while.

Thank you so much to Layla for joining us this week, you can find more of her on her website and you can find us on TikTok, Instagram, Threads (!) and Facebook @sextraspodcast, or on our website. You can also get in contact with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spoilers ahead!! 

We thought we’d celebrate pride month (very last minute, as always) with a discussion of the Ultimatum, Queer Love. In this episode we delve into the drama of the show and unpack why we think each of the couples were doomed to failure.

Listen in as we discuss gay marriage, including why people want to even get married in the first place and how the whole premise of the show is extremely queer. We then unpack each of the final couples, answering whether we think Vanessa is a narcissist and if the queer Ultimatum is more toxic than the straight Ultimatum. 

We hope you enjoy this episode and that you’ve had an amazing Pride month. Stay tuned for more episodes now that we have more time, including a miniseries about parenthood and family relationships coming your way very soon. 

It’s Sextras' third birthday, so if you are a regular listener it would be super helpful if you gave us a review or rating wherever you get your podcasts. You can find more of us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website, on our Patreon or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com for more. 

See you next time!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Putnam 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start the episode discussing Adrienne Rich’s theory of compulsory heterosexuality, the lesbian masterdoc and how it can help you if you’re wondering how to know if you’re a lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or it’s just compulsory heterosexuality. We tell our own experiences unpacking whether we really like men before welcoming Dani, Emily and Cassie to discuss their experiences realising they were into women.

They tell us what it was like to come to terms with being gay in their own time, from their first ‘I think I’m a lesbian’ to then coming out to friends and family and whether that was a difficult experience or not. They unpack how they feel about their sexuality now, whether people in their lives responded well and how they unlearned compulsory heterosexuality, plus the difficult distinction between being bisexual or suffering from the affliction of compulsory heterosexuality.

We also discuss: learning you’re lesbian through Orange is the New Black (a surprisingly common experience), not telling your dad you’re gay (another common one), how to ‘look’ lesbian (if there’s really a way), the importance of representation and what they’d tell themselves as baby gays. Thank you so much to Dani, Emily and Cassie for joining us in probably the most chaotic episode to record and edit we’ve ever done.

Apologies to you, our lovely listeners, if the sound is dodgy at times (we tried our best but guess what?! after three years we still don’t know how to record!!) but, thanks to our guests, this episode is really an excellent one to listen to if you’re at all questioning your sexuality. Have an amazing Lesbian Visibility Week 2023 and we will be back very soon with another episode.

As always if you have anything you’d like to share with us or any questions, you can do so on our website, on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook @sextraspodcast or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. If you enjoyed please leave a review/ rating and subscribe and we’ll see you very soon with another episode!

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start the episode covering what the main 'themes' of the season were, from the recurring problems amongst the couples to questions we have about the show overall. Then, we dissect the relationship trajectory of each couple from the pods to the (ahem) altar and our thoughts on how we'd react to the experiment.

Maria is a seasoned reality dating TV show lover, while Honey is just vehemently in love with all things Love Is Blind, so we're excited to debut our return with this run down. Please let us know if you'd like to see more episodes like this, we can't wait to get into the Ultimatum Queer Love once it comes out (excuse the pun) and we'd love to hear your thoughts on everything that went down and anything more you'd like to hear from us in coming months.

You can get in touch with us on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com or find us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. We'll be back next week with a very exciting episode make sure you subscribe to stay tuned for that and we'll speak to you then!

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We look back at what we learnt about pleasure and desire during our miniseries, from where our attraction, fantasies and turn ons come from to learning how to experience and communicate please.

We discuss how the way we communicate about sex has changed over the years and if we feel like we’re at a good place in our relationships with pleasure and desire. Talking about sex on the podcast is often easier for us than talking about it to a partner, so we discuss why that is and what the most difficult part of talking about sex is for each of us.

As bisexual women, the way we experience desire for women versus men can be different so we discuss what that looks like and how compulsory heterosexuality has convinced us both that it’s easier to be attracted to and desired by a man even though that’s not true at all.

We hope you’ve enjoyed this pleasure and desire miniseries. If you have any requests for further episodes you’d like us to do related to this series please get in touch. You can join our Patreon to continue the conversation and watch the video for each episode, or follow us @sextraspodcast on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

We’ll be back soon with a new miniseries, can’t wait to see you then!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Putnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by asking what people commonly struggle with during sex and where people’s fear of communicating about what they enjoy in the bedroom comes from.

Keeley explains that often it is a mixture of things that prevent us from being able to talk about sex- first is that we don’t know what gives us pleasure (maybe there are too many options or maybe we don’t know what the options are). Secondly we don’t know what language to use and what the best way to approach the conversation is, and lastly we’re worried we won’t be accepted or, at worst, shamed.

Keeley then gives us some tips for how to talk to a partner about sex from the start of a relationship, explaining that it’s good to set the precedent of having an open dialogue about sex, as well as going in to how to communicate about sex if your desires change after being with someone for a long time.

Lastly, Keeley covers whether there is such a thing as sexual compatibility (you’ll have to listen to find out) and if communication can help with that or not.

We hope you enjoy this episode, thank you so much to Keeley for joining us. You can find more of her on her website.

As always you know where to find us, @sextraspodcast on Facebook, TikTok and Instagram and on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can also get in touch via email sextraspodcast@gmail.com or join our Patreon to watch all of the podcasts as full length videos (with deleted content) and to get a free sticker.

See you next time!

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Produced by Mable Productions

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin by hearing about how Dr Marashi started learning about female pleasure while being brought up in Iran, where women are subject to virginity tests and female pleasure is rarely talked about. He tells us about how doctors are taught about female anatomy and how this contributes to general misinformation about female pleasure and the orgasm gap.

Having conducted research into female pleasure and the anatomy of the clitoris, Dr Marashi knows that understanding female anatomy can help with arousal and close the orgasm gap, and he tells us how women and men can get to better know this and improve communication about what gives women pleasure. He also teaches us a bit about the female anatomy and what sex positions are most pleasurable for people with a vulva to improve clitoral stimulation.

Finally, we discuss how society feels a lot of shame about the vulva, and the harmful impact this has on normalising women’s pain with periods and their vulva, and how encouraging conversations about women’s bodies and pleasure fights this stigma and helps save women’s lives.

We hope you enjoy the episode. Thank you so much to Dr Marashi for joining us, we learnt an incredible amount! If you want to learn more you can find him on TikTok @nycgyno or visit https://getcere.com to find out more about the first anatomically aligned clitoral vibrator!

As always, you know where to find us, on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website, join our Patreon for access to the full video for each episode and bonus content and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts to make sure you never miss an episode.

We’ll see you next week for more of our pleasure and desire miniseries!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by defining what good sex actually is, does it refer to societal standards for what sex should look like or is it more focused on pleasure? Catherine explores whether we have any control over what we find desirable, and how much this might be impacted be societal norms like beauty standards and the porn we watch.

Beauty standards are harmful when it comes to our desire, because of how tied they are to gender, sexuality, age and race, and so Catherine tells us how we can begin to detach ourselves from what we should view as desirable and to tune into what gives us pleasure personally, particularly if you’re a woman.

We then look at social media and beauty standards, and whether it’s helping improve conversations around what we view as desirable or not, and also how conversations about pleasure and desire on social media and in popular culture impact everyone, not just women.

Finally, we unpack how we can have more diversity in conversations about sex, from moving away from unrealistic beauty standards for men and women, to understanding how our bodies work and what personally gives us pleasure, as well as examining what good sex means to us and should mean more broadly in society.

Thank you so much to Catherine for joining us, if you enjoyed the episode please go check out her book Good Sex. As always, you know where to find us— on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com, email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or join our Patreon to watch the full video episode, get access to exclusive bonus content and join our community to continue having these wonderful conversations.

We’ll see you next week, when we’re joined by Dr Amir Marashi to hear how understanding the female anatomy can help to improve our pleasure.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we decided to have a look back at the things we learnt about sex and relationships in 2022, and what our relationship and sex goals are for the coming year, as well as doing a brief and questionable ins and outs list of our dating prediction for 2023. 

We start the episode talking about Honey’s year of no sex and what the benefits have been. She’s in two minds about her celibacy era, wanting both to leave it behind and also feeling very comfortable in it, so we discuss everything she’s learnt about herself from her boundaries to crushing on people unlike ever before in her life. We also discuss how Honey’s feelings about men have affected her dating habits in 2022 and that she wants to really embrace her bisexuality and date more women in 2023.

Maria obviously has very different sex goals for 2023 than Honey, mainly because she’s actually having sex and is about to move in with her boyfriend so she’ll be having a lot more, so we discuss what those are and also what she’s learnt from the past year of being in a long distance relationship. 

Finally, we end the episode discussing our impromptu ins and outs list for dating and sex in 2023, including everyone spontaneously deleting dating apps to more people eloping. 

We’d love to hear if you have any sex and dating goals for 2023, or if you have any ideas about what might be general trends. You can get in touch with us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, on TikTok, Facebook or Instagram @sextraspodcast, or join our Patreon to continue having conversations we have on the pod. We can’t wait for what the year has to bring, we’ll see you soon for our pleasure miniseries!!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’d rather watch the podcast you can find the whole video episode on our Patreon: https://patreon.com/sextraspodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

We start the episode by asking Shasta why people have difficulty making friends and hear some different ways of making friends. Shasta explains that most people don’t know how to make friends in a meaningful way, or realise that making friends requires a lot of effort, so we talk about what not to do when making friends.

We discuss where to make friends as an adult (ie. outside of education, which many people struggle with) and Shasta names the three pillars of any good adult friendship and what we can do if we have a problem with our friends in one of those areas.

It obviously wouldn’t be an episode of Sextras without these, so we had to ask Shasta about how love languages and attachment styles affect our friendships and how that influences whether we feel valued as a friend and how we show affection towards our friends.

Thank you so much to Shasta for joining us for our final episode of the friendship miniseries, it was certainly very informative for us but we hope it was for all our listeners too! You can find out more about Shasta on her website https://www.shastanelson.com and make sure to buy any of her three books.

As always you can find more of us on Tiktok, Instagram or Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or JOIN OUR PATREON community for access to the full video episode, behind the scenes content and bonus episodes https://patreon.com/sextraspodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link.

Thank you for listening, we’ll be back in a couple of weeks with our period miniseries!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We began the episode asking whether you find it more difficult to bring up problems with a friend or with a romantic partner, and discussing our own experiences bringing up conflict with each other.

We then discuss what you should expect from a friend, and when it’s okay to bring things up if you friend isn’t fulfilling your expectations. There are different boundaries around when it’s acceptable to bring up something that’s a problem with the friendship itself and something about them as a person that you have a problem with.

We also cover what kind of people we choose to surround ourselves with— obviously we don’t expect our friends to be perfect people but we discuss whether it’s important to us for our friends to have the same values as us.

This is one of the few episodes where we’ve change our own minds about something by the end of the episode, we hope we change how you think about friendship too!

We’d love to hear more from you about your friendships. You can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or join our Patreon community where you’ll get access to the full video episode, bonus and behind-the-scenes content and even get a free sticker.

Next week we’re joined by female friendship expert Shasta Nelson, we look forward to seeing you then!

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Produced by Mable Productions

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to our first episode of our first ever miniseries!! This miniseries is all about friendship and we’re kicking it off with an episode about what happens when you’re more than friends with someone.

We start the episode with a segment where we ask if you’ve ever caught feelings for a friend and if you’ve ever had sex with a friend, plus if you would sleep with one of your current friends.

We then get into the main episode where we ask whether it’s ever okay to sleep with a friend, and break down everything that could go very wrong or very right if you choose to go down that path. We ask whether sex with a friend has to mean something and how your opinion on this might impact how your friendship could change after having sex.

We also ask how to identify if you have feelings for a friend and how to distinguish between platonic and romantic or sexual feelings for a friend. It can be quite hard to tell sometimes, and lots of us have had a crush on a friend, so it’s nothing to be ashamed about, but it’s also important to ask ourselves when you should voice these feelings and when they should be kept very quiet (like when they’re ahem in a relationship).

We then get onto deeper topics like if it’s ethical to be friends with someone if you have an ulterior motive of trying to sleep with them, or if you have feelings and hope they’ll be convinced to have feelings for you in the process of being friends. We also discuss the dynamics between male and female friends and the expectation of sex in those friendships, plus the whole made up concept of the friend zone.

We hope you enjoy the first episode of this miniseries! We’ll see you next week to talk about conflict with friends, before the last episode where we talk to female friendship expert Shasta Nelson about how to make and maintain friends.

You can find more of us and get involved over on our Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Thanks for listening, we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re changing up the format slightly because (as you’ll know if you’re living your 20s with us) things are slightly hectic right now, so we'll be releasing episodes less frequently and in miniseries. We're kicking off the season with a miniseries about friendship, from toxic friendships to making new friends and what to do when friendship becomes more than just friendship.

We also get into what we’re doing with our lives—Honey just started a Masters and Maria’s preparing to move to Paris in the New Year. Then we get into Honey’s dating fatigue (nothing new) and voluntary celibacy, plus Maria spills the details of travelling with her boyfriend and her struggles with a long distance relationship.

We have lots of amazing guests and episodes lined up for you in season 3 and we can’t wait to get into it, we’ve missed you guys!

You can also now become a patron of Sextras over on our Patreon, where we’ll be posting the full video podcast from now on along with exclusive behind the scenes recordings, bonus episodes and free stickers for all our patrons. Make sure you go subscribe there and wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss out on anything coming in season 3.

You can also find us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com and we'd be extremely grateful if you could share the podcast with your friends and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts. We’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We give our opinions on the concepts of the shows and the ways people act when put in those positions, and then attempt to answer the larger questions raised by the shows such as if love is blind and if it’s ok to give someone an ultimatum in a relationship, particularly whether you can give an ultimatum to marry you or not. We talk about how the shows give us an insight into how pervasive monogamy is, even amongst younger generations, whether people care about appearance when dating (and why) and why anyone is looking to get married at a young age.

If you’ve not yet watched the shows we recommend that you watch them before listening to the episode because we give spoilers! (they’re also excellent entertainment).

We hope you enjoy this sneaky bonus episode, and if so don’t forget to subscribe so you can keep up to date with our future releases! We’re currently on a season break but we’ll be releasing content on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast and you can still send us your submissions or get in touch on our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

Have an amazing summer and we can’t wait to hear all about it when we’re back in season 3!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin by giving a run down of the season- which moments stood out to us, what we’ve learnt, how we’ve changed, and spill some tea about the behind the scenes of the podcast. We point you guys in the direction of certain episodes should you be looking for advice on particular topics.

Then, we move on to your stories and questions to end up the season. We’re so thankful to all of you who have contributed to the season in some way, and we’d love to do more episodes in season 3 that are made up of only your submissions. This episode includes questions about one night stands, the contradiction of the Kardashians promoting body positivity, whether it’s normal to masturbate to other men when you identify as straight, tips on getting back out there and blowjob tips.

We hope you guys have enjoyed this season and learnt as much about relationships, sex, and yourself as we have! If you have, please keep following along and supporting as much as you can. We put in so much work, and so if you have listened to even one episode it would be so great if you could subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and if you can share with your friends or on social media.

Thanks to our sponsor for this episode, The Natural Love Company, who make sustainable, vegan and cruelty free sex toys and lube. If you’re listening before June 30th you can enter our giveaway to win a vibrator and lube via this quiz (hint- the answers are all somewhere on our Instagram) https://8tmk3gtuaxi.typeform.com/to/OGxWQmIJ. Otherwise, you can use the code SEXTRAS to get 15% off at www.thenaturallovecompany.com.

Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, find us on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Even though we’re on a season break, we’ll be updating our social media and you can keep getting in touch with us and submitting your stories on there or anonymously on our website.

Have an amazing summer and we’ll see you next season!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by hearing about Maria’s upbringing in Mexico and what sex education in Mexico is like. She tells us about how sex wasn’t even spoken about when she was growing up and how this influenced how she wanted to talk to her own kids about sex and relationships.

Then, we move on to discussing what it was like to raise children first in Mexico and then move to the UK, and the cultural differences between the two. Maria tells us about the expectations of being a mum in Mexico and how she was able to explore herself as a person more in the UK, plus the differences in talking about sex and relationships in the UK versus in Mexico. We hear about what Maria told her children about relationships and sex when they were younger and what she’s learnt about herself and relationships throughout the years, ending with some advice Maria has for us and for other young people that she wishes she’d known at our age.

We hope you enjoy, it was such a pleasure to be joined by Maria. Please leave us a review as we approach the end of the season, and stay tuned for some very exciting announcements coming in the next week on our social media— Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com and feel free to get in touch with us with any stories or questions for our last episode via email sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

To celebrate 2 years of the podcast we’re having a picnic on 25th June in Hyde Park from 1pm onwards, we’d love if you joined us! Check out our social media for more info.

See you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by hearing about Aditi’s interest in dating and hookup trends, which inspired her to begin her research on this topic. Aditi is a professor at Pace University, so we ask her if she and her colleagues have assumptions about how gen z date and have sex at uni, and if that was really accurate to what she discovered in her research.

We hear how gen z use dating apps, and if they really all have sneaky links, if they’re anti-relationship, and how often they’re hooking up with people and with who. Aditi tells us whether sex lives of college students really have changed from previous generations, and what new terms there are to describe sex and hookup culture.

Aditi also goes into safety and sex, such as how alcohol impacts the decisions students are making when it comes to sex, and if they practice protected sex. We love that Aditi’s research focuses on people of colour, different genders and sexualities, and so we were of course interested to hear how sex changes amongst different groups, like whether the LGBT community use dating apps more or less than the straight community and how much sex people of colour are having in relation to stereotypes that negatively impact how they are perceived.

We hope you guys enjoy the episode, thank you so much to Aditi for this informative and fun chat! Please request for your institution to purchase her book, and go find out more about her work and her on her website http://www.draditipaul.com/, and her social media @aditipaul & @iamaditipaul.

As always you can find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, and Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Reddit @sextraspodcast.

Don’t forget to check out our sponsors, too, it really really helps us out! Get 20% off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with code SEXTRAS20. Get 10% off sustainable and beautiful sex toys at www.thenaturallovecompany.com with code SEXTRAS.

See you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners if they think love should be hard, as well as hearing some things they are willing to compromise and things they are absolutely not, as well as what expectations they know they need to have met in a relationship.

We then get into our thoughts on expectations in relationships. We discuss the narrative that’s sold to us in movies about romantic love and if it’s possible to meet someone who miraculously meets all of your expectations and knows how to show you love. We stress the importance of communication and talk about love languages, and if your partner can know and act on your love language without having to ask what it is. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity to show people love in the way their love language requires, and so we talk about what you should do if you have unfulfilled expectations in relationships, and what normal expectations in relationships are.

Ultimately, we believe that your main love language is something you should expect to have met in your relationship. It can be difficult to know whether you have too high expectations in relationships, but that is there is always at least one thing that you need from your partner in order to feel loved, and it’s reasonable to expect that they fulfil that for you! We often make excuses for our partners when it comes to things we’d like them to do but that they won’t, but we want to discuss if love should be hard work and what our limit is when it comes to not having certain needs met in relationships, and when you should walk away.

There is a myth that relationships are hard work, and they can definitely be worth this work, however you shouldn’t put up with not feeling loved or as if your partner isn’t making effort, because you can always find someone who is willing to make that effort to fulfil the things you need! We love you, and we hope you can all recognise that you are worthy of receiving love in ways that truly make you feel loved. If someone makes you feel like loving you is a chore it could be time to reconsider the relationships and whether you can find someone who can make you feel a little more loved.

We hope you enjoy the episode, if you do please leave us a review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Mentions in this episode include “The Distribution of Chapman’s Love Languages in Couples: An Exploratory Cluster Analysis” (Bland & McQueen, 2018), which you can find here:

https://www.millersville.edu/psychology/files/bland/bland-lovelanguages.pdf. To find out your love language, do a quiz such as this one: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language.

Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20. We’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you guys if you feel like your friendships have changed, and if so how. Then we did a poll asking what is worse— a friend break up or drifting apart— and if you’ve made any new friends recently.

Though some friendships will never die, it is an inevitable fact of life that as we as individuals grow and evolve, so too will our friendships, and sometimes this comes at the cost of certain friendships, and sometimes this means that you grow and evolve with your friends. No matter what, friendships are very important relationships in our lives and so when a friendship ends it can be sad and confusing, leaving you feeling lonely or as if there’s something wrong with you. This can even be the case when friendships change, and we really wanted to acknowledge the complexities of friendships, which don’t have the same set of rules and expectations as our romantic relationships.

We talk about how our friendships have changed over our lives, from how they’ve changed since college. We explain how when we notice friendships have changed we might feel a certain kind of way, but not necessarily because we blame anyone or because it’s anyone’s fault, but more because we worry what this says about ourselves and what it means for the future of our friendships. But friendship is malleable! Friends challenge each other, and grow together, and it would be boring if they stayed the same throughout our lives. We need to give each other the room to grow, and if that means we have our own things going on, and even eventually growing apart, then that’s okay.

Friendships change! We need to learn to live with it. We hope we encourage you to reflect a little bit on how your own friendships have changed, and whether that really says anything about you, or if it’s an inevitable part of life. All this to say, treasure your friends, and put the work into your friendships that you want to be reciprocated. Like any relationship, friendships need tending.

We hope you enjoy the episode. If so, please give us a follow over on our social media, we have a few exciting announcements coming up that you won’t want to miss! Find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

We can’t wait to see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking about all things sex + phone related: from sexting, taking and sending nudes and having facetime or phone sex.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you what the best sext or nude you’ve sent or received is, and your tips for taking nudes and sexting. Then, we move on to discussing our own experiences with taking nudes and sexting, and if we enjoy doing them.

Honey gives us some facetime sex tips, and we explain why phone sex is good for long distance relationships. Maria gives us some tips for taking nudes, from poses to lighting, and we discuss some of the dangers of sexting, taking nudes and facetime sex. Though it’s not something we should feel ashamed of, or should have to even think about when it comes to partaking in these activities, sadly there are people out there who will betray your trust and share explicit photos with others, and we need to do our best to break the stigma around taking naked photos (because let’s be honest-everyone’s done it!) and having them leaked. The person doing the leaking is the one who should be shamed, rather than the subject of the photos, but we want you guys to protect yourselves no matter what and never feel pressured into sending nudes or making a sex tape, or anything when it comes to sex!

You should take nudes for yourself, and only if you really want to. Never do it for someone when you’re getting nothing out of it, and we do think there is good to come out of taking nudes, like making you feel more confident and sexy in your own body- and who doesn’t want that?!

We hope you guys enjoy this sexy episode, and you feel inspired to take some good nudes for yourself. To find more in future about sexting and nude taking tips, follow us on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook at Sextras Podcast. Send us an email if you have any experiences or tips you’d like to share at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or find us through our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

See you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you whether you think it’s appropriate for other people to comment on your relationship. We then hear what the most helpful, and unhelpful, relationship advice you’ve received is, and a little bit more about when you guys think it’s acceptable for you to comment on someone’s relationship, or for them to comment on yours.

We then move on to the who, what, when and why of it all. We being by asking who can give relationship advice? We ponder whether certain friends can, and if it’s okay for random family members to give you advice, before discussing when and why you should give relationship advice- for example if someone asks for help or asks for your specific take on a situation, or if it’s alright to always have an opinion on your friends partners. We tell you about our own experiences offering each other advice, or what we think is helpful advice, and how to set boundaries when your friends and family are providing you with unhelpful commentary on your relationship. Finally, we discuss if you think your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, and how to deal with that by offering them your stance and trying to help them see the situation as it really is.

We hope you enjoy the episode, that you seek relationship advice whenever you truly need it, and that you don’t receive any advice that makes you feel worse about your relationship than you need to!

Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, and you can send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or an anonymous submission on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can also watch the podcast on YouTube, where all the episodes are categorised so if you’re looking for an episode on a specific topic you’ll know where to find it!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s been a year since we graduated uni, so we thought we’d have a little catch up. We tell you guys about Maria’s long distance relationship after uni, and our living situations. Both of us moved home after uni, so we discuss how to decide when you should move out, if you should move in with friends in your 20s or if it’s ok to live with a partner, or at least plan to live with a partner. Honey tells us about her recent trip to the US and how it really helped with her independence, and the difficulty of finding a job after uni. We also cover friendships after uni, and the trials and tribulations of trying to maintain them when, probably for the first time in your life, you’re all in very different phases, living in different places, and with different goals.

We really want to do an episode about making and maintaining friends after uni, so if you or anyone you know has a relevant story or some tips, please send them our way!

You can find more of us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at Sextras Podcast. Watch the podcast on YouTube, and subscribe there or wherever you get your podcasts, and send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, or an anonymous confession on our website www.sextraspodcast.com!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from you guys about whether you’ve ever been cheated on, or ever cheated on anybody, and if so what happened, to understand a little bit more of how many people have experienced cheating and how it affects relationships. We also ask if people would break up with someone because of cheating, to which 92% of people said they would.

We then move on to discussing our own experiences with cheating, and Maria tells us the story of when she cheated on her boyfriend, how that affected her mental health and how she told him she had cheated, as well as the aftermath. Though we don’t want to sympathise with cheaters, we think it’s important to tell how cheating affects the cheater as well as the person who was cheated on. We explore some hypothetical cheating situations, and attempt to understand how we’d react to them, but ultimately decide it is difficult to say unless you’re in the moment. Lastly, we talk about what counts as cheating, and how to set those boundaries with a partner from the beginning, so that you know if they consider online cheating as cheating, or if they consider microcheating something worthy of breaking up over.

We hope you enjoy the episode, if it was helpful to you in some way please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts. You can reach out to us or find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, and support us by making a purchase from the sponsor of this video, Manscaped!

Have an amazing week and we’ll see you next Tuesday <3

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking all about social media— the good and the bad, and particularly how it affects our relationships with ourselves and our most important relationship- ourselves!

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from your guys’ feelings about social media, including whether you like it overall and what you hate the most about it. Mostly, people seem to hate that social media is often a facade, or a presentation of the best parts of our lives, so we talk about how that aspect of social media can be extremely damaging to our mental health and our self esteem.

We then move on to discussing social media and relationships, attempting to answer the questions that are most often asked when it comes to dating and social media, such as if your partner should post you on their social media, and if so when, and if they’re not what it means. We also discuss the different ways couples showcase their relationships on different social media apps, and express why we prefer TikTok as a platform because of its video format.

Then, we tell you guys a bit about our personal social media consumption and how it affects our mental health, and attempt to give some tips for how to use social media, or at least how to manage your outlook when constantly taking in hundreds of peoples’ lives in order to stay grounded in your own.

Social media definitely has its dangers and disadvantages, but if you’re smart about your outlook on it and don’t place an extreme amount of importance on it, you might save your mental health and get a bit of entertainment along the way, too. 

Don’t forget to subscribe and share the podcast with a friend, it really helps us out! You can also help us out by using code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com to get 20% off + Free Shipping! Please do feel free to contact us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, and follow us on social media (Instagram and Facebook) at Sextras Podcast! 

— WE ARE LOOKING FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR A BONUS EPISODE, PLEASE SEND US YOUR SEX/ DATING/ CONFIDENCE STORIES AND QUESTIONS AT ANYWHERE ABOVE, OR EVEN ASK US QUESTIONS ABOUT OURSELVES AND HOSTING A PODCAST! — 

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking all things contraception! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear whether you guys are contraception, and if so if you use hormonal contraception or non hormonal/ barrier methods of contraception.

We then move on to discussing our own experiences with contraception to show the different ways the same form of contraception can affect everyone differently. We talk through the different forms of contraception that are available and give our opinions on which ones have been best for us (disclaimer: we are not medical professionals!) and how we’ve decided what works for us.

We wish you all the best with finding the best contraception for you, should you want to use it, but please do not use the pull out/ withdrawal/ rhythm method because it is simply not effective.

Don’t forget to share the podcast with a friend, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, watch the podcast on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

Produced by Mable Production

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s episode we are joined by lovely guest Chanelle Gallant, who has been a sex worker rights activist for 20 years. We begin the episode by hearing how Chanelle got into sex work activism, and why sex work activism is so important, not just for sex workers but for wider society too (hint— sex workers rights are basic human rights!)

We get deep into why sex work organising is so important, and how it is a truly feminist space that is more intersectional than any other. Chanelle tells us of the optimism she has for grassroots organising, and how everyone can get involved in sex work activism. We then move on to what sex work means to sex workers, and how the money it provides them with often gets them out of situations that the government wouldn’t. Chanelle explains how the very criminalisation of sex work creates unnecessary stigma around sex acts that doesn’t exist when it’s unpaid, and how that stigma is fed by larger systems of oppression at work. Chanelle tells us how sex is often a form of unpaid work that people perform as a service to men, and we theorise what sex worker rights would look like if rich white men were doing it.

We then get into the policing of sex workers, from the physical use of police forces during ‘anti-trafficking raids’ to the more subtle ways state power restricts sex workers’ rights. We touch briefly on OnlyFans, and how the activism and organisation surrounding the platform was largely focused on white and cisgender sex workers, and Chanelle explains how the same level of organisation can, and should, be easily applied to all sex workers, regardless of gender, race, and citizen status.

We end the episode by discussing whether sex itself can be liberating, and whether our sexuality defines us (essentially— can we fuck ourselves to freedom?).

We really hope you enjoy this episode, we’ve been really looking forward to you guys being able to hear it and to meeting Chanelle! Please sign up for Chanelle’s newsletter to hear more about the work that she does (www.chanellegallant.com), and go find your local or national sex worker rights organisation to fight for the decriminalisation and protection of sex workers, which you can do on https://nswp.org/. We would also highly recommend you read 'Pleasure Activism' (particularly Chanelle's chapter!) and check out Chanelle's 'Protest and Pleasure' series here: https://xtramagazine.com/series/protest-and-pleasure.

As always you can find more of us or reach out to us with any questions/ stories/ comments on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us on sextraspodcast@gmail.com & find all our episodes and resources on our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Don’t forger to subscribe and leave us a review, and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To start, we asked how our listeners in a poll, ‘How are you attracted to people? Do you ten to like people straight away and develop crushes easily, or do you have to get to know someone first for that attraction to grow?’ Our followers were split down the middle, just like us. Some shared some of their attraction confusion, ‘if I get to know them its bad because I can make them a friend and that completely puts me off’, whilst some others thought that having a friendship that grows into attraction is most natural to them.

We then begin to map out the way we experience attraction. Honey describes her first relationship and how shared experiences and friendship grew into attraction, and how in her second relationship the attraction was also somewhat of a slow burner. In times when she’s been single, she barely experiences random attraction at all, unless confronted with it. Maria shares the opposite, she’s always crushing on someone, chasing someone, or with someone. (Classic anxious attachment)

We discuss how the way we experience attraction has impacted the way we approach making romantic or sexual connections. Maria is more active in her attraction, whilst Honey usually lets people come to her. (Probably because of our attachment styles) But that isn’t to say that we only experience one type of attraction and that’s that: we all make all kinds of connections with all kinds of people and sometimes that attraction could be physical attraction, or sexual attraction, whereas others it might be emotional attraction or romantic attraction.

We hope you are feeling attracted to our episode the episode! ;) You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by breaking down insecure attachment styles: Maria tells us about what an anxious attachment style is, and Honey tells us about what an avoidant attachment style is (hint: those are each of their attachment styles).We also cover the other two attachment styles: fearful avoidant and secure, before moving on to how these symptoms have manifested for us.

We attempt to give some tips for healing insecure attachment styles, which includes at the very least recognising the symptoms of your attachment style and trying to unlearn your triggers over time. Then, in case we hadn’t already convinced you just how important knowing your attachment style is, we explain how knowing our attachment styles have helped us.

We end the episode with some polls we did a while ago where we asked you guys whether you know your attachment style (we’d be surprised if, after listening to at least one other episode of our podcast, you didn’t) and if it’s helped you in any way.

Even though it can, at first, be overwhelming to learn your attachment style (one friend told us recently that she felt attacked after an attachment style quiz which ‘read her to filth’) it’s definitely important to understand how it can affect the way you form attachments with people, and even impact who you choose as a partner in future!

We hope you enjoy the episode, we have plenty more information on our social media about attachment styles. You can do the test for attachment style mentioned in the episode here:

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

May we all become securely attached!

You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com and visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin by hearing some of the messages our listeners heard about pubes and body hair growing up, (essentially to ‘shave’, that the hair is ‘bad and should be removed’ and that men don’t find it sexy). Some listeners even shared the ways in which these messages impacted them: causing them to question whether their body hair and pubes are bad, or desperately google how to clean shave ‘down there’, and live with razor burns and irritation and thus even more insecurities.

We then get more into our own experiences and memories of getting body hair. Maria shares how shaving was engrained as an expectation, and how she was shamed by male figures specifically if there was any body hair showing. We discuss how its interesting that now we can look at shaving as an option when a lot of the time it doesn’t really feel like a choice.

We continue to question society’s messages about shaving and ask whether it’s okay for a partner to express a preference on their partner’s pubic hair grooming, and whether it’s okay to ask your girlfriend to shave her pubes. Ultimately we conclude that it’s not, but pubes politics are complicated, as Maria hypocritically confesses she shaves for her boyfriend even though she doesn’t like shaving. Patriarchy 1, Maria 0.

We update everyone on our pube status (share how we personally groom our pubes) and we encourage you to share your pube status with us!

We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin by hearing how she and her boyfriend met, or how they began dating, and later how Dee realised that she was in love and in it for the long run. We then ask about the pressures of being in a long term relationship in your teenage years and early 20s, from dating long distance at university to seeing lots of couples around you break up, to the expectations from your peers to sleep around. Dee tells us what those milestones have looked like for her relationship in the long run, and how she’s responded to the pressures of her friends and family. She then tells a crazy story about how they once nearly broke up over chlamydia.

Naturally, both Dee and her boyfriend have changed over the course of time, so we hear how this has impacted their relationship and how they’ve managed to maintain their independence while also making time for one another. Lastly, we discuss the importance of sex in their relationship, before hearing some of Dee’s tips for a long term relationship. Ultimately, Dee tells us that the success to their long lasting relationship has been to take it day by day.

We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin with some polls where we ask people with penises about their handjob preferences and people with vulvas about their fingering preferences (namely whether they prefer clitoral or penetrative fingering). Then, we move on to the different roles fingering and handjobs play in sex, and debate which is harder (ha) skill-wise for people to do. Finally, we give some tips for fingering and handjobs and foreplay as a whole.

We hope you enjoy this episode, we think it gives a rather accurate insight into what is going on in our brains, and attempting to establish an understanding of what penis-owning people are thinking.

You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode and leave us a review! It really helps us out. We’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear the lessons you guys have learnt from a breakup, before telling you our own lessons. We try to explain how our experiences have been very different: Honey has exclusively broken up with people, and Maria has exclusively been broken up with, so we divulge the different ways we have reflected on the relationship after a break up, as well as attempting to unpack how we move through stages of grief in a breakup, like blaming the other person and then thinking you’ve made a mistake; trying to cling on to them and not wanting to move on.

We then discuss the conversations you have, and what not to do after a break up— such as whether or not to text your ex or if you should stay friends with an ex. We have a couple of other episodes about break ups— ‘Can You Be Friends With An Ex?’ & ‘The Break Up Process’— where we get more into these topics, but we wanted to talk a bit more about the idea of what is owed, or what some people think is owed to them, when one person ends the relationship, the idea of blame and self reflection in attempts to learn something about yourself after a relationship ends.

We hope you enjoyed the episode! If you’re going through a break up, you can do this! You’ll eventually reach a stage of realising there is so much to take from a relationship, and we hope some of our tips help. If you’d like to get in contact with us or find more of us, you can find us on:

Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

www.sextraspodcast.com

We’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by hearing what inspired Rachel’s book— she was dating a non monogamous man, who gave her the freedom to explore an open relationship and who her relationship with later became toxic.

We then move on to learning about the different types of open relationship- from having a primary partner to practicing relationship anarchy. Rachel tells us about how she dealt with jealousy in her first non monogamous relationship, as well as giving us some tips for how to start a non monogamous relationship if you’re new to the world of polyamory, and some things monogamous people can take from polyamorous relationships even if they’re not looking to get into one. We end the episode with asking Rachel about her bisexuality and how that interacts with her polyamory.

Thank you so much to Rachel for joining us this week, we had a truly informative conversation and we hope you all enjoy it too! Please buy Rachel’s book ‘Open’ and go follow her on Instagram or Twitter.

You can follow us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com or find us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Thanks and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by asking our followers what they think about or watch when they masturbate, and if they remember the first time they masturbated. In true Sextras fashion, we look back at how our ideas about masturbating and porn were formed, from the first time we saw porn (whether by accident or on purpose) to not realising what we were doing was masturbating at a young age.

We delve into our own sexual fantasies and whether watching porn and masturbating sets unrealistic expectations for sex. We also talk about whether we personally enjoy watching porn, and what our problems with porn are. Unfortunately, as women, we have experienced guys basing their sexual fantasies around what they’ve seen in porn and attempting to recreate that, and so we try to unpack if porn is bad for our sex lives or not.

We all have sexual fantasies, and it’s important to let them play out and have fun sex lives, but at the same time we need to be really mindful of whether or not porn is bad for relationships with those we have sex with and with women, or anyone who’s negatively impacted by how they’re portrayed in porn, in the world around us.

Please go check out our social media, we have tons more content on there that you might find interesting! You can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook Sextras Podcast or on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Send us an email at sextraspodcast@gmail.com, and leave us a review wherever you’re listening. We look forward to seeing you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For women, it can be difficult to find erotic content that turns you on, especially if you have a busy mind. Sayra founded Guided By Glow in an attempt to encourage women and couples to have mindful sex practices.

In this episode, we ask what sexual meditation is, before diving into how meditation is so powerful for our lives as a whole, but particularly for our sex lives, when we can get stuck in routines or find it hard to be present during sex.

Sayra then tells us a bit about how sexual power can be a tool for transformation in our wider lives, and how sexual meditation can really help with this.

Sayra has very generously given Sextras listeners $20 off a years’ membership to Guided By Glow, making it $27.99 for a year of unlimited guided masturbations. Find it on the App Store or on https://guidedbyglow.com/

Get all the benefits of masturbation and meditation at once, and increase your sexual power at the same time! Even if you, like Maria, might be sceptical about meditation, it’s worth giving it a go.

Thank you so much for listening. You can find more content about sex, dating and self love, or contact us via

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

www.sextraspodcast.com

sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don’t forget to subscribe and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our followers whether they care more about freedom or finding love in their 20s; whether they’d rather meet the person they’re going to end up with now or live out the rest of their 20s single; and hear more of their thoughts about this dilemma.

We decide that there isn’t really an answer to this question, but we wanted to examine it more closely because so many people our age feel like they shouldn’t date in their 20s to fulfil an idea that is sold to us of what our 20s should look like; indeed many people end relationships for this very reason: they feel as if dating in your 20s is pointless if you’re unlikely to end up with the person, and that you might as well embrace your freedom.

Navigating dating in your 20s can be difficult, but we think that in the end, it comes down to whether you think you should date for fun, or for experience, rather than for the end result. As long as you’re happier in a situation than you are on the flip side, you should stick with it, and it might ultimately be good for you to make some dating mistakes in your 20s.

We wish you all the best of luck! We know dating in your 20s isn’t always the most fun, especially when you have to begin to consider whether you’re ready to commit to the person you’ve been dating throughout uni going in to the real world, but we’re always here if you need any tips or at least want to make yourselves feel better by hearing about our mistakes and poor judgement.

If you enjoyed the episode, or if it resonated with you in some way, we’d love to hear from you. You can contact us (and find more content) on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Sextras Podcast on Facebook, YouTube and Geneva; www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Leave us a rating/review and we’ll see you next week!!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with discussing terms we use to describe our appearance, unpacking the differences within them and how these are a product of the male gaze and our internalised male gaze as women. We then move on to a segment where we ask our listeners what they want to wear when they want to look sexy, to get an idea of what we’re calling the ‘sexy consensus’ (ie. what everyone’s shared idea of ‘sexy’ clothing is), which unsurprisingly involves a lot of black, red, and underwear.

Then we give our own personal feelings about dressing for the male gaze, and what we wear when we want to look ‘sexy’ or ‘attractive.’ We grapple with the idea that we might never be able to escape the male gaze, and that denying the fact that everything we do is in some ways a product of, or scrutinised by, the male gaze in society. We also try to dive into the concept of ‘the main character’ and ‘romanticising your life’ to explain why these concepts might be a little bit problematic when we think about the male gaze and how women, under it, constantly picture themselves and what they’re doing by how it might appear to others.

Ultimately, we don’t have an answer about how to deal with the male gaze, or how to escape it, but we think having some awareness of how we describe beauty and how we ourselves interact with the gaze when getting dressed, particularly for dates, is important.

We also want to acknowledge that we can only give our own experiences with the male gaze, and often when we talk about beauty standards it is within a white and heteronormative framework, which we know brings us an enormous amount of privilege. If you have any personal experience or opinions on the male gaze and how it affects you, we would love to hear about it, however similar or different to our own experience.

You can contact us and find more content on our Instagram @sextrapodcast, Facebook (Sextras Podcast, website: www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us on sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Please subscribe and leave us a rating wherever you listen to podcasts, we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear something our listeners like about their body, to get us into the mood of body positivity. Then, Amelia tells us about her experience of dating as a plus sized woman and dealing with body confidence. She explains that bigger women can sometimes be fetishised when dating, and that her body confidence issues in the past have come from dating people who haven’t appreciated her body or treated her kindly. This happened in one past relationship in particular, which we touch on, before hearing a bit about how Amelia has come to accept her body and celebrate it. She tells us how dating women has helped a lot with her body image, as she can see how features she has disliked on herself are attractive on someone else, which is affirming.

We hope you enjoy the episode!

You can find more of Amelia on Instagram @meels0nwhee1s, and more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Please send us your artwork, writing or sexy confessions, and don’t forget to subscribe. We’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We thought we’d do another New Year’s episode, continuing the tradition from our episode ‘Let’s Keep Trying In 2021’ last year, to reflect on everything we achieved in 2021 and what our goals are for the new year. We all had a tough year in 2021, so here’s to a better 2022, to being kinder to ourselves and spending more time with our loved ones.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners ‘What are your resolutions for the new year?’ before reflecting on the new year and what it brings, plus what we did last year. We then move on to our resolutions for the new year and set ourselves sex, dating, and self care goals and challenges for 2022.

A lot can happen in a year, so we encourage you all to set goals for your own dating and sex lives (and other aspects of your life, too!) so you can hold yourself accountable and live your life to the fullest in 2022.

Please don’t be shy about sending us your resolutions for 2022, or anything creative you’ve done that we think we might like and can feature on the website (this can include writing, drawings, songs, or anything you like). You can get in touch with us and find more of us at www.sextraspodcast.com, on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you to Manscaped for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code SEXTRAS20 at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by hearing how much older and younger our listeners would go when dating, and read out some moments where you’ve really noticed the age difference in your relationships.

Then we move on to discussing our own experiences with dating people different ages to us- we discuss how young and old we’d date and sleep with. Young girls in particular often want to date someone older than them, for reasons which we discuss, but there are a lot of issues that can arise from dating someone older, so we ask when it is ok to date someone older and how to stop young people wanting to date someone older, plus how to recognise when older people’s motives are wrong in wanting to date them.

We hope you enjoy the episode. Stay safe and remember if someone much older wants to date you, it might be a little bit weird!!

You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook (Sextras Podcast), and our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can email us on sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by discussing some polls about whether our followers think that STIs are a big deal, and the ways they protect themselves against STIs. Although many of you said you 'do your best' to protect against STIs, it seems as though people aren't getting tested as often as they should or having completely safe sex (which we get, we've been there!) but we think it's important to talk about STI prevention.

We then move on to talking about our own experiences with STIs, from having chlamydia when we were 18 to Honey's living with herpes tips. We cover how to get tested for STIs (at least here in the UK) and how often, the emotional impacts of an STI diagnosis and how to tell someone you have herpes.

Finally we look at STIs and the stigma around them and how little we truly learn about them in sex education. We explain how ultimately STIs aren't a big deal- they're just like any other infection and they're a natural part of sex.

Go get tested, educate yourself and help reduce stigma around STIs!

If you want to learn more about the different types of STIs, their symptoms and treatment, we have more information on all of this on our Instagram, where Honey also talks about her herpes diagnoses.

You can find us on:

Instagram @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email sextraspodcast@gmail.com

www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review, and we'll see you next Tuesday! Byeeeee

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18:15 Which apps we've used-- what dating apps are there? Different dating apps explained

38:40 How to use dating apps well, how to improve dating app profile

47:00 Starting conversations on dating apps, good opening lines on dating apps + good questions to ask.

Welcome back to season 2 of Sextras! We're so excited to be back and can't wait for you to hear the episodes we have coming your way.

This week we're talk all about dating apps. We've both been doing some market research over the summer, and boy oh boy do we have some very strong opinions on how to use dating apps well and what not to do on dating apps. Listen in if you're just starting to use the apps and wondering how to approach dating apps, or if you're a seasoned user and wondering how to get better at dating apps.

We begin the episode with a segment—how we've missed hearing all of your submissions :') — where we hear your worst dating app date stories, from being blocked by someone because of your star sign to having absolutely nothing to talk about on a date.

We then delve into why we've used dating apps, and which ones we've used. We break down the purpose of dating apps, going through Hinge, Tinder, feeld, Bumble, and Positive Singles and discuss the positives of these dating apps, before launching into a very long debate about what to put on a dating app profile. Unsurprisingly, we've seen some absolutely shocking examples of dating app profiles over the years, and so we explain that we don't want to see any pictures of you at the gym, and that the key to a dating app profile is variety and showing some character.

We then switch to how to make conversations on dating apps, which can be really hard. If you've ever used a dating app we're sure you know how many people just message you 'hey,' and you exchange a few messages backwards and forwards before the conversation fizzles out. We try to cover what you should say in first messages on dating apps, and when the best time is to ask someone out.

We promise that, even though dating apps suck sometimes, there are some positives, and just like dating if you hack the formula for how to use them and making a good profile you can have a good time. It's all about your approach to dating, apps are just a way to facilitate these interactions.

Go forth, create your dating app profile, and thrive!

If you enjoy Sextras please don't forget to subscribe so you never miss and episode, and if you're feeling extra generous leave us a review and share the pod on your social media!

You can find more of us on Instagram (@sextraspodcast), Facebook (Sextras Podcast), www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After hyping up hot girl summer so much at the end of season 1, we had veryyy different experiences: Maria ticked a few things off her sexual bucket list before being launched into a (short) long distance relationship with her boyfriend, whereas Honey spent most of the summer recharging and trying to accept her herpes diagnosis before fully re entering her sex life at the end of the summer. Luckily, she did have a few sexual encounters (so has a few updates), and has been getting back into dating apps, and even a mindful masturbation app which she recommends to Maria. Sometimes it's important to have a sexy summer with your boyfriend, and other times it's important to acknowledge how you're feeling and recharge an intense year or two.

Listen in to hear a few teasers for upcoming episodes and to be up to date with everything we've been up to in the run up to season 2.

Most importantly, don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and to our YouTube channel (Sextras Podcast), where we'll be releasing the full video footage to each episode in season 2.

You can also find us to catch us up on your summer, confess a sexy secret or get involved in all the extra content and segment prompts for season 2 on:

Instagram @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

www.sextraspodcast.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back, and with more exciting stuff than ever! We've been away putting together a studio and figuring out how to record video so you can see our lovely faces here on Youtube, as well as planning really exciting episodes. Last season we covered a lot, from friends with benefits to long distance relationships, to how to find out what gives you pleasure, and in season 2 we are going to keep expanding on these, plus coming in with all new topics. Stay tuned for episodes about attachment styles, how to be better lgbtq ally, dating with an age difference and many many many more! If you're a person that is interested in having open and honest conversations, listen in to our already existing 54 episodes, and stay tuned for brand new ones coming from the 7th December.

In the meantime, you can find us:

Instagram - @sextraspodcast

Facebook - Sextras Podcast

Website - www.sextraspodcast.com

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We open with an introduction detailing the cruel reality of what it means to run a podcast sometimes: a LOT of technical difficulties. This season finale seemed like a perfect opportunity to give our listeners some behind the scenes of podcasting. Or at least our experience, of what it is like to start a podcast in the last year of university. People always ask us, how much does podcasting cost? Or how hard is podcasting? How much work is podcasting? So we addressed some of the misconceptions of podcasting, as well as outlining how much work actually goes into a podcast.

We begin our episode of reflection by breaking down our expectations when coming into starting a podcast, in contrast to how we feel about it now. As well as reminiscing about where we were at the start of the pandemic and the podcast, in terms of our sex lives and our relationships, and comparing it to where we are now. We spend a lot of the episode reflecting upon our views about love and how they have changed. We're looking back with love, as we've realised that self reflection and growth go hand in hand. In order to keep progressing and to form our identities and find out who we want to be, we have to have self reflection and self awareness. We are not offering a 'self reflection, how to', but in looking back to where we started, and looking back fondly and inquisitively will allow us to keep learning.

Throughout our time doing the podcast, we haven't only grown ourselves, but the relationships to the people around us have strengthened too. We have learnt so much about how to open up in conversations, how to start up conversations, about sex and relationships, and all the intimate details that arise from those conversations, not only with strangers, but also with our friends and family, in particular our mums. Having so many guests, and opening up week after week about ourselves and our relationships provided us with plenty of examples of open conversations to then give us a guideline on how to start difficult conversations with our families and loved ones. Opening up is hard, and we are still working on it, but working on the podcast had provided a lot of clarity and practise in dealing with difficult conversations.

It truly is the end of an era for us, we finish university and are about to enter the real world, we completed a full year of weekly episodes and are concluding the first season of a podcast we love! We are truly so grateful to all our amazing guests for opening up to us and educating us, to our beautiful friends for supporting us, to our parents for believing in us and being forever open minded, and to our listeners, for all their submissions and for making all of this so much more valuable.

Go forth into this hot girl summer and have nothing but fun, we'll see you next season!

In the meantime, find us on our website or social media:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear some of our listeners' insecurities in their relationships; how they broke their mental health to their significant others in relationships and how partners have helped them manage their mental health in relationships. We also did a segment to see how many people experience mental illness or mental health problems (81%) and whether they'd prefer to date someone who has similar experiences or not.

Azura then tells us a bit about the differences between feeling nervous and having an anxiety disorder and why it can be important to distinguish between the two. They then tell us about their own relationships and tips for how they have encouraged her romantic partners to understand their anxiety in relationships, as well as what their current boyfriend has done to help them cope with anxiety while dating. We then move on to discussing how their gender has been a cause of anxiety in the past, before realising they identify as non binary, and how outwardly presenting yourself in a way that matches your inner feelings can really benefit your mental health.

We hope you enjoy the episode! You can find Azura on Instagram @stdyio and you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook on Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a poll where we ask if people struggle to put themselves out there- to which 54% of people said yes and 46% of people said no. We then asked for some tips to put yourself out there and to have dating confidence, which is something we all need a boost of. We end the segment by hearing people's hot girl summer plans and telling you our own.

The positive thing about the world opening up, even though so many of us lack dating confidence, is that we're all in the same position, and we can all build up our confidence and put ourselves out there together. We discuss what has held us back from putting ourselves out there in the past and discuss what we can do to meet more people to date, or to attract the right kinds of people.

Gone are the days of low standards or wasting our time with people who are, quite frankly, not good enough for us. It's hot girl summer baby! Anything is possible, and boy oh boy are we going to spend the summer learning to date and be confident again. It's time to get back out there, for all of us, so let's go for it!

We hope you enjoy the episode, if you're both excited and afraid to get back out there we're right there with you. Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, and we'll see you next week!!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a poll where we asked men and people with penises whether they 'need' foreplay (86% said yes, to our surprise) and 97% of women or people with vaginas said they needed foreplay (not surprising in the least). We also asked what foreplay means to our followers, from touching and kissing to oral sex, to licking and sucking to penis to penis; as well as hear some stories of weird and sometimes horrific foreplay techniques. You can find these segments on our Instagram stories if you want to get involved!

We also talk about what foreplay means, whether it is a part of sex or can be separated from it, and determine that ultimately foreplay is extremely necessary for most people, both those with penises and vaginas. There is a misconception that foreplay isn't important for men, perhaps because they often don't engage in foreplay, but we think that foreplay shouldn't be skipped, and actually that it can take a lot of pressure out of sex. Porn has given us the idea that people are ready to start sex whenever, but actually a lot of pleasure comes from foreplay and good sex can't really happen without it.

We hope you enjoy the episode! Don't skip foreplay, we promise it will make your sex life so much better. For more foreplay tips listen to the episode we did with Kinky called 'How to Have Better Sex' where she gives some oral sex tips. If you're enjoying Sextras please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser or share! You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by telling everyone about some goals we have set for our own sex lives, and what we want our sex lives to look like in the future. We then move on to reading the wonderful submissions you have sent us! If you sent us a submission check the time stamps to hear what we said about your story or confession.

We love hearing your confessions and sex stories! Please continue to send us more and interact with us so we can keep learning and talking about sex together! You can send us stories or questions for future submission only episodes on our Instagram @sextraspodcast, our Facebook (Sextras Podcast) or on our website www.sextraspodcast.com (we have an anonymous submission point) or you can email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to subscribe so that you can be notified about future episodes, we'll see you next Tuesday!

1:00 to 13:05 Our sex goals

13:52 Date to recycling centre

14:52 Threesome fantasy

15:03 Tying up and dominating a man with a woman

18:24 Sucky kisser

21:28 Hiding from parents and force fed potato salad

22:50 Asked out on a pizza box

28:21 Thoughts on the term 'easy'

32:56 Butt dialling your mum during sex

33:49 Wet wipes

36:22 Apologise accepted only in the form of doritos

38:50 Kicks for asshole licks

39:30 Getting back at your best friend and ex

41:58 A fetish for belly buttons

48:57 Can your vagina get tighter?

52:50 Friends chat shit

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our followers what they're like in an argument and what their argument pet peeves are. We discuss certain things we find annoying in arguments, such as when people walk away from your or insult you during an argument.

We then move on to discussing what we are each like in a relationship, and how the way we argue is so related to our attachment styles. Maria is anxious, so wants to resolve conflict as quickly as possible, and Honey is avoidant, so wants to put off arguments for as long as possible. We identify different approaches to arguing, from the way you start an argument or bring an issue up to the way you act during the argument- do you walk away during an argument? or shout? do you argue to argue your point or to win or do you argue to understand the other person's perspective? Finally, how you recover from an argument- whether you take a while to calm down after an argument.

We decide that understanding how your partner argues is very important in a relationship. Everyone argues! So it's important to remember that we shouldn't learn how to avoid an argument but how to argue effectively in a relationship so that both people feel validated in their feelings.

Go forth, learn your attachment style, and argue effectively! Life is too short to spend it arguing about the same thing and being unhappy because it's never resolved.

We hope you enjoy the episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and share with everyone you know! You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. We have an anonymous submission point on our website so send us your sexy stories there! See you next week.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we asked our followers what some sexual things they're scared to try are, and Kinky gives us all some advice about how to get a little kinky with your sex life, from how men can ask to have butt stuff done to them, to being spanked or experimenting with pain and pleasure.

Then, Kinky tells us how she became a sex educator, from being interested in sex from a young age, to having a sex blog, to now having a TikTok with millions of views that teaches people about sex education. Kinky tells us some things we all need to improve on during sex, such as not being scared to ask for what you want and not putting up with men who don't try to make women orgasm, to how to make your g spot enlarge and figuring out how to squirt.

We learnt so much with Kinky, she gave us some oral sex tips for men and women and how to prepare for anal sex. Essentially, Kinky is all about having good sex because, as she says, good sex is important as it makes everyone's lives so much better, and makes you so much happier.

Go forth, and have great, fun, rough, and kinky sex!

You can find Kinky on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok under 'Da Kinky Kid,' on her website http://dakinkykid.com/ where you can buy her two books '365 Ways to Keep it Kinky' and 'Imma Sucka.'

As always, you can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, on Facebook at Sextras Podcast, email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com and visit our website at www.sextraspodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe to get notified about new episodes, share and review! We'll see you next week.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with two segments where we asked our listeners 'What are your dating pet peeves?,' including men paying for dates being normalised and awkward conversations before sex; and 'What's the most unbelievable or ridiculous thing someone has said or done to you on a date?,' including guys admitting they take their condoms with them and thinking feminism is a reason a woman rejects someone.

We then move on to hearing about Manny's career, and how he got into matchmaking and then relationship coaching. Manny tells us how he tries to help people find the right person for them, as that is often the biggest thing people struggle with in relationships. Often people go for those who are nothing like them and want completely different things, which dooms their relationship for failure. Manny has a theory called the emotional alpha scale that helps people look for the right person for them based on whether their personality is alpha, beta, or omega. He explains that omega, alpha or beta personalities are not specific to men or women, and that none of them are negative even though beta is used to insult men a lot of the time.

We then discuss toxic masculinity and how men feel as though they have to be an alpha male because of the way their parents raised them or the messages they get from society about what 'masculinity' should look like. So many men try to be an alpha male when they're not, which Manny calls the 'constant quest for manhood.' This means so many men don't know what they want or really struggle to come to terms with the fact that they're an omega or a beta. In reality all being a 'man' really is is honouring who you are. But no matter whether you're alpha, beta, or omega the most important thing is to be true to yourself and find the right person for you and what you want out of a relationship.

You can find Manny on @iammannysantana on TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Clubhouse and Instagram, on www.mannysantana.com and information about his book and his masterclasses on www.secretsoftheguycode.com, or you can email him at coaching@mannysantana.com- he'd love to hear from you!

As always you can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Facebook at Sextras Podcast; our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Don't forget to subscribe so you can be notified whenever we release an episode (we have our bonus episode coming very soon!) and we'll see you next week!

Produced by Mabel Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a few polls where we asked 'Would you rather have ok sex every day or have really good sex once a week?' to which 95% said really good sex once a week; 'What makes someone a better fuck- to have lots of sex with different people or to have lots of sex with one person? to which 74% of people said lots of sex with one person; 'Does your partner's body count matter to you?' to which 87% of people said no; lastly 'Has your best sex been in a one night stands or in a long term thing?' to which 84% of people said in a long term thing.

We then move on to discussing what quantity or quality of sex might mean. We're conflicted about the issue of quantity as we know it can cause some unnecessary competition when you're younger, with wanting to raise your body count, which is a big part of lad culture and toxic masculinity. On the other hand, for some people one night stands give them an idea of what more people are into and they can then try those things out if they have regular sex with one person- so quantity becomes quality. Also, we decide that sex is never that bad unless it is really terrible, so quantity without quality isn't a complete possibility.

Then, we discuss quality, which we decide includes cumming, or a good effort on both parts to make the other cum, and for both people to have a good time and try a few spicy things out along the way. Good sex is addictive: when sex is good with one person, it's hard to look back at how you ever accepted sex that was less than quality, and you raise your standards. We’ve decided we’re raising our standards and not making any more excuses more not getting the most we can out of sex. At the same time, asking for what you want during sex and enforcing quality can be way harder than it seems, so we have to take it step by step to get to the point of being able to communicate what we want.

Ultimately, we decide quantity and quality are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and which you prefer really depends how much sex is enough for you. We know some people don't need to have sex every day and others are okay with not cumming every time (but we obviously shouldn't make excuses for men who make no effort.)

Go forth! Have sex in quantity and quality (but maybe don't go for quantity at the total expense of quality).

We hope you enjoyed this (more chatty) episode! If you did, make sure to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and tell us what else you'd like to hear us discussing. You can find us to do so on our:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe so you get notified when our bonus episode comes your way very soon, and see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear about our listeners' kinks, from hentai to tentacle porn to bondage, and Sir Ezra teaches us the difference between a kink and a fetish. We then move onto how he got into BDSM, from being into dominating and sadism from a young age to pushing away his interests in BDSM because he thought it was 'bad,' to finally working in the BDSM community. He tells us what it's like to do BDSM as a profession, and that he got into BDSM education because he was interested in teaching.

We then move on to BDSM communication, safety, respect and consent, which is extremely important. So many people think that BDSM is a dangerous community, but actually Sir Ezra teaches us that because the BDSM community are so open and educated about power roles that they are actually much better at communicating boundaries and setting safe words so that consent is clearer and safer. He also teaches us some BDSM terms and types of BDSM roles. We end the episode by hearing about how to introduce BDSM into your life, and how to find BDSM community sites so you can learn safe BDSM practices and rules.

You can find Sir Ezra on https://www.houseofalgos.com/ for more BDSM information and to take some BDSM courses with an expert. You can buy his book 'Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide to Mental Manipulation for BDSM & Sadomasochism' there too, and he's also on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter under House of Algos.

Don't forget to subscribe and share with everyone you know, and you can find more of us at all the usual places:

Instagram: @sextraspocast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

See you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with some polls, where we asked our followers if they have ever bought a sex toy (72% of people said yes); if they've ever used a sex toy with a partner (69% said yes) and if they'd be open to using one with a partner (97% said yes). We asked how often people use sex toys, and the most common answer was occasionally) and then we asked people to tell us if they didn't why not, as well as some stories or anecdotes about using sex toys.

Mel then goes on to tell us about her company, Melba Toys, and why she was inspired to start it. She explains that the sex toy industry is completely unregulated, and this means sex toys are often not sustainably or ethically made. Also, it's impossible to find the right sex toy! Buying sex toys online can be so tricky, as there's loads of choice but most of them might not be quite right (especially if you're looking to buy your first sex toy and don't know where to start). This also means that affordable sex toys come at the expense of quality, and if you're looking for a big dildo you might only be able to find a big and thin one rather than the thickness you're looking for. Melba Toys solves all of this and will make sex toys out of sustainable and ethical materials to order so you can ask for whatever gives you pleasure!

We end the episode by talking about how to talk about introducing a sex toy with a partner, as some people might find it uncomfortable, and using sex toys in general.

We hope you enjoy the episode, and you might start to consider how you can have more sustainable sex. You can find Mel and Melba Toys on Instagram @melbatoys or their website www.melbatoys.com and do their sex toy quiz on https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/3622W5M.

As always, you can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast and Facebook under 'Sextras Podcast' or on our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com. Don't forget to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed, and share and subscribe, and we'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Inspired by Honey's real life events!! (i.e. she recently went through a break up), this week we sit down and discuss the whole breakup process. In our segment we asked you to tell us about your worst breakups, or any general stories you have of times that you have been broke up with or have broken up with someone. Someone was genuinely followed by their ex to university, whilst someone else simply boils it down to 'right person, wrong time'. Ultimately, all break ups hurt, or suck in some kind of way.

We start talking about the build up to the break up; the beginning of the end. When the reasons to break up start showing up, and we discuss whether in previous breakups we saw any warning signs. In some cases, we can feel really blindsided, perhaps we are broken up with and given no reasons, perhaps we just don't think that those reasons are good enough. As the person being broken up with, it is easy to feel blindsided as we can turn a blind eye sometimes to what are actually signs that the relationship isn't going well, or that our partner or even we are unhappy. We discuss both perspectives of the 'build up', for the person that is doing the breaking up, it is a very different, and sometimes equally painfully experience (which is often looked over).

We then move on to the actual breakup. Is there a good way to break up with someone? There's probably no perfect way to break up with someone, we can't give you a step by step guide or a 'breakup template', because every situation and person is different. However, having a conversation, or series of conversations, in which both people feel heard and understood seems like the ideal. Although, realistically breakups are messy, or over text, or facetime calls, it's impossible to have 'the perfect breakup'.

And finally, the aftermath, the heartbreak, the putting the pieces back together. We talk about how wanting to remain friends can be quite problematic, but completely understandable. But here's the thing: it's quite hard to move on from someone that you still talk to, or see all the time, and so Maria swears that she will definitely block her ex after her next breakup. It can feel so hard, when someone that has become so engrained in your life, or your main point of contact, or in some ways your best friend is not there anymore, but we stress that it is more important to let them go, because you broke up for a reason. Honey tells us a little bit about her experience with a break up in a long distance relationship and how that has varied from her other relationships, and lets us know how she is dealing with it.

Your relationship ending doesn't mean you failed, or anyone failed, in any way. Not to sound too mushy, but every relationship has its purpose, and we learn from all our experiences, good and bad. We're here for you if you're going through it, we are too!

You can find us here:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe, review, and send us your stories, and we'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by hearing the most toxic things that have been done to our listeners, including name calling and lying continuously. We discuss how often these behaviours go unnoticed, and might seem like not a big deal at the time, but build up over time to erode trust in your relationship.

Yolanda then tells us her toxic relationship story. She tells us what a toxic relationship feels like, and red flags of a toxic relationship. She explains that it's hard to recognise you're in a toxic relationship and to leave it as you're often hoping it will get better, but it's hard to know if a toxic relationship can ever get better. We discuss how to get out of a toxic relationship when you live together and how to help someone in a toxic relationship based on what she thinks people could have done to have helped her if they had known more about what was happening. We also cover healing after a toxic relationship and what a toxic relationship can do to you in the long term, such as making it difficult for you to trust others and to be in relationships further down the line.

It can be hard to see the signs of a toxic relationship, but ultimately, we learn, putting a label to the actions is helpful in identifying that you're in a toxic relationship. There is so much victim blaming when it comes to those who are stuck in toxic relationships, too, but it's important to change how we discuss and learn about them so that we can know how to help someone in a toxic relationship and help them move on once they're able to break away.

We love you all so much! Remember you can always reach out to us to discuss something, even though we're not professionals, and if you're in a relationship where you notice a toxic dynamic, or even if you're in a relationship where you're unhappy, leave it. You deserve happiness and you deserve to be loved for who you are.

You can find more of Yolanda on her podcast Speak On- we recorded an episode with her over on her podcast about sex education, so go have a listen to that and all the other episodes! Find them on Instagram on @speakon_ or wherever you listen to podcasts, and you can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe, review, and send us your stories, and we'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We thought it might be funny to reminisce on the weird, cringe things we have done during sex, (because everyone does embarrassing things when they first start having sex). We laugh about things now, that may have felt traumatic in the moment, like the time Maria forgot about her tampon one time during sex, or the time Honey threw up in front of everyone, including the guy she wanted to shag that night.

We talk a lot about drunk sex, mostly because most of Maria’s ridiculous sex experiences have happened whilst under the influence. It makes sense, since alcohol is known to make people more horny, or sometimes just makes people make worse decisions, like when Maria shagged a nameless stranger in a public bathroom, or sucked on a guy’s toes to get laid. Alcohol makes us dumb, like when Honey’s date called her by the wrong name. But as we note, in our younger years, especially whilst at university, sometimes sex and alcohol go hand in hand.

Overall, even though some of our experiences seem embarrassing, or cringe-worthy, it’s nice to be able to look back and know that it is only embarrassing and cringe because we have grown, and probably wouldn’t do those things again today, but we sure as hell had a lot of fun doing them. Sex will only keep getting better and we can’t wait for social distancing restrictions to loosen so we will have even more embarrassing sex stories to tell.

We love you all, thank you for your support. Your feedback is always appreciated, so please don't hesitate to leave us a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, or you can get in touch with us on...

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

By Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don’t forget to subscribe and we’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin by asking what she thinks of us having a sex and relationship podcast. We then to move on to her sex education and what it was like talking about sex when she was growing up, as well as how this informed how she wanted to talk about sex and relationships with Honey.

We then move on to life as a single mum, and what it was like raising Honey alone. We cover things like why being a single mum is hard, being a single mum and dating full time. Then we move on to dating as a single mum, and then finding love as a single mum and what that's like now Honey's grown up and they all live together. We discuss their family relationships during the pandemic, and how it's hard to not be codependent when you're living at home.

It was so much fun talking with my mum, and it opened up some topics of conversation we probably never would've spoken about otherwise. I've always thought we have a special mother daughter bond, and friendship, hopefully that's obvious in this podcast.

We encourage you to explore your family relationships, particularly your relationship with your mum. It's hard to know how to talk to your mum about sex and relationships or mental health sometimes, but once you do it will create more openness between you that can only be a good thing.

We love you all, thank you for your support. Your feedback is always appreciated, so please don't hesitate to leave us a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, or you can get in touch with us on...

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

By email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don't forget to subscribe, and we'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We wanted to share our thoughts about what has been happening, and tell our own stories of sexual coercion, which we know many women will be able to relate to. We discuss how sexual coercion is extremely common with people in relationships and not, as well as the fact that sexual coercion is so normalised amongst women because of how common it is. An often-asked question is why sexual assault goes unreported, but we wanted to bring light to the fact that because instances of sexual assault and sexual coercion happen so often, most women don't even consider reporting it. This is all a part of the victim blaming that comes along with sexual assault.

We also discuss how the word 'no' is received, as well as how women use it, and how women can be scared to resist sexual coercion because of the fear of what that might lead to. Sexual coercion is a part of the larger conversation about sexual assault and rape culture, and how there are countless ways women are pressured and forced into sex or sexual acts that they have not consented to, or feel uncomfortable doing. In order for the conversation to change, both men and women need to do more to acknowledge the countless ways we are complicit in upholding this harmful culture with our silence and hesitation to call people out, especially those we are close to.

If you have experienced any form of sexual harassment, sexual coercion, or sexual abuse, we're sorry you had to go through that, and you're not alone. There are so many people telling their stories online right now, but we also want to stress that it is okay to not share your experiences if you're not ready. And to those who have shared, thank you. If you'd like to talk to someone, know that help is always available. Victim Support have a 24/7 confidential hotline (UK based) on 0808 16 89 111

We're sending love to everyone who is affected by sexual abuse, or who feels emotionally drained in the midst of these conversations. Stay safe, look after your mental health, and keep calling people out! We love you, and we'll see you on Tuesday <3

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start the episode by hearing what our listeners favourite parts of their female friendships are. As it's Women's History Month we wanted to pay homage to our female friendships particularly, and we also hear moments that our listeners have felt closest to their friends. We then move on to reflecting why we're so drawn to being friends with other girls when we're younger, as it's often easier to relate to other girls, and you don't have to worry about people thinking you have a crush on them (even though we're bi, so the joke's on them, really). When you're at school, friendship can be really difficult as there's so much pressure to be popular and to fit in, and teenage girls are so judgemental and scary.

We reflect on how our own friendship has changed, from the amount of friendship groups we've been through, to the ups and downs in how close we've been, as well as the dynamic with friendship and dating and how that often changes how close you are. We have lots of ideas about how friendship should be, and that's why it can hurt so much when you're not as close anymore, especially when going to university or going through big life changes. We've always said we're soulmates, but actually a lot of patience and caring has gone into our friendship, and what's made us close, more than anything, is that we've always been there for each other and come back to one another throughout our 8 years of friendship. To end the episode, we tackle the ways male and female friendships can be different to our female friendships, concluding that there's value in both.

Friends are so important. They influence our decisions, motivate us, and are always there for us when we need it most. Friends become family, but the best part is you get to choose your friends. If you haven't found your people, don't worry, we've been there and we know how hard it is to go through a friend breakup, but if you know what kinds of people you want to surround yourself with, you will find each other! It's not about how many friends you have anyway, it's about valuing the ones you do have.

We hope you enjoy the episode! Don't forget to send us your confessions for our submissions-only episode: you can do this anonymously via our website www.sextraspodcast.com/confessions or send us an email sextraspodcast@gmail.com with a voice note or your written story!

Follow us on:

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Facebook: Sextras Podcast

And leave us a review or a rating, and subscribe! We'll see you next week <3

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We then discuss how our role models have changed throughout the years, what role models' qualities are and why role models are important. There are so many inspiring women, and maybe we should not only choose role models who have overcome adversity, but also broaden our ideas of who are good role models and what role model characteristics are. Yes, being a leader and being brave make a good role model, but for some their role model might be someone who is open about sex our challenges our ideas of what makes a respectable woman, too.

Role models influence our lives in so many ways, particularly when growing up, and that's why having good role models for girls is so important. If we see more female politicians we might actually start to believe we can be a politician and aspire to be, and if we see women being open about their sexuality like Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, we might start to think that being open about our sexuality is healthy and normal.

There are so many inspirational women today that we are spoiled for options, all we have to do is find them. We hope you hear about some inspirational women you've never heard of, or maybe never thought of as role models, and you learn that role models can be so many things: a parent, a spy, an activist, a model, or a rapper.

Keep celebrating women, and keep sharing women's stories! Happy Women's History Month 2021!

If you'd like to find more of us, you can do so on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to send us your stories and questions for our upcoming episode. Our anonymous submissions page is: https://www.sextraspodcast.com/confessions or you can DM us on social media or email us with your stories or voice notes! We can't wait, see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are many problems with the patriarchy, and infinite ways it shows up in our daily lives. Some things are more deeply engrained: like the emphasis on female beauty standards and expectations that negatively impact women’s self perception and self worth. Other issues are more about what women are taught- to be polite, to be mothers, to be submissive- and the ways in which we adopt these roles ourselves.

Touching briefly on family dynamics, we talk about the examples we were set growing up, and the kinds of future we could have when we were older, as well as how perhaps we have internalised sexism, limiting ourselves and our capabilities.

We talk about how the patriarchy even affects our sex lives, although perhaps sometimes it won’t seem like a feminist issue or like something that is a result of the patriarchy, like finding it difficult to say no to sex. However, we establish that it impacts everything, especially the way men and women interact. We break down some of the pressures that we felt sexually with men that perhaps we haven’t felt with women, and how with men we fall into a position of submission.

Ultimately, even though the patriarchy fucks us in many ways every day, we understand that in order to break all of these systems down we need to ourselves be aware of our misogyny and call men out on theirs. Let’s start now, this Women’s History Month. And let’s go and SMASH the patriarchy!!

We hope you're enjoying the podcast, and if you are please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. It means to much to us! Don't forget to subscribe, and you can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

www.sextraspodcast.com

Or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Otherwise, we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we discuss what it's like when you're in a sexual dry spell, hearing from our listeners about what the longest they've gone without sex is and how they broke the dry spell. We discuss how long is too long for us to go without sex, and what is considered a dry spell, deciding that it's different for each person depending on how often they have sex normally. We then give some advice about how to manage your dry spell in quarantine, as well as how to end a dry spell if you're not in lockdown. Having a dry spell in a relationship before quarantine was bad enough, but with the added fact that so many people are in long distance relationships, or going through a dry spell after a break up, it's that much harder to stay sexually active or connected to your body, basic human needs and physical needs.

Self pleasure is so important, so we encourage you all to try to stay connected to your eroticism in some way, even if you're in lockdown! Dry spells for women are particularly hard because it's so damn hard for us to feel aroused when we're not having sex with anyone, but you can do it! Get a stash of sex toys or flirt with that guy you like over text!

We hope you're enjoying the podcast, and if you are please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. It means to much to us! Don't forget to subscribe, and you can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

www.sextraspodcast.com

or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

We'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Morgan talks us through some ways to go around setting boundaries, as we discuss some of the boundaries that you guys have set in the segment, or boundaries you want to set. We talk about physical boundaries, like being touched, or hugged without warning, and the importance of consent, as well as knowing how to set boundaries with friends when you start feeling like their therapist. We discuss attachments styles and how recognising your attachment style might help you understand what boundaries you might need to set.

Morgan tells us about her experience as a recovering people pleaser who helps people pleasers break out of those habits for a living. We talk about how we're not really taught that we can say no, and so that why we struggle setting boundaries sometimes. Especially as women it can sometimes be hard to know how to say no, or feel pressured to say yes, so Morgan advises us to try to start practising saying no to small things, so you are able to when it matters.

We all admit it's hard to set boundaries, often the boundaries we need to set are for ourselves, or within ourselves, and that's the hardest part. Sometimes, when someone sets a boundary it can feel like rejection you or an attack, when in reality they are trying to make the situation healthier and better for everyone.

Be brave! Go set those boundaries!

You can find Morgan on instagram @morgan.doman and read her blog on her website www.morgandoman.com !

You can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

We hope you enjoyed the episode, don't forget to subscribe, review and share! We'll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

During COVID, the expectations surrounding Valentine's Day look a little different: we can't go out, a lot of people can't even see their significant others, some people may feel even more so isolated. But there are a lot of ways to make the day still feel special. In the segment this week, we share some ideas on what to do for Valentine's at home, like picnics and blanket forts. It might even be as simple as getting your favourite food delivered. If you're not with your partner, you could facetime and eat at the same time. And if you're single, you can spend it with your flatmates or your friends. Valentine's Day can people feel even more 'single' or alone, when the day is really about love, of all kinds, and that includes friendship.

We talk about some of our Valentine's Day stories and experiences, and note that some of the best Valentines were those spent with friends and memories with parents, and some of our bad ones are when we actually had a valentine. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if someone is going to kiss you this Valentine's or not, because we all have a Valentine somewhere, and that is anyone we love!

Happy Valentine's Day you beautiful people! We love you!

Show us love here:

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Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode by speculating how to describe the ick, and how it's different to simple turn offs and annoyances in dating. We then go on to a segment where we hear what gives you the ick, from people actually liking you back, to someone trying tooand tell our own ick stories. We try to dig deeper to understand what the ick really is and why we get it, but conclude that, ultimately, it is intangible, and laugh and how ridiculous the reasons for the ick ending a relationship can be.

The ick is real!! Don't underestimate it's power- you could get the ick for anyone and everyone, and there's no reversing it once you acknowledge it. It will soon be downhill from that moment on.

We hope you enjoyed the episode, and we appreciate all your support so much! If you want to see more of us, you can find us on

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www. sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to rate, review (on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser), share and subscribe, and we'll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We then dive into Mary's experience with being single, and having never been in an established relationship at 21. Some people think being single is lonely, but we discuss how sometimes being single is better as you can do some self-reflection, focus on your mental health and discovering what you want from a relationship. Mary explains that, while she's slightly bitter that covid began as she was ready to begin dating, she's grateful that she's single during lockdown, as maintaining a long distance relationship would be extremely difficult. She also tells us about how being single during covid has been difficult, and how she thinks her mental health would be affected by being in a relationship.

We conclude that of course it's difficult to be single sometimes, especially during covid-19, when you can't get the intimacy (both physical and emotional) you need for your well-being, but that ultimately it's being single is best if you don't feel as if you're able to be in a relationship because of your mental health.

Thank you so much to Mary for joining us, we hope you enjoy the episode! You can find Mary on Instagram @mazza.h99 and TikTok @mazza.h, and you can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don't forget to rate, review, share and subscribe! We'll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We then move on to explaining how we came to be friends with our exes, and what to do if your ex wants to stay friends and you don't. There are often so many reasons not to stay friends- they're your ex for a reason, after all (!)- but sometimes losing someone from your life forever is unnecessary and not worth it. Of course there are wrong reasons to stay friends with someone you dated, like you still secretly have feelings for them and you're hoping they'll change their minds and regret dumping you, but we truly believe, after some time and reflection, exes can be friends. You probably can't be friends straight after a breakup, though. We wouldn't recommend that (from personal experience). And you definitely, definitely, can't be friends with someone you love. We also discuss how we feel about our boyfriends being friends with an ex, and if it's ok for them to be friends with their ex-lovers, even if they don't have feelings for them.

If you're going through a break up, we really feel for you. We know how difficult it can be, but maybe you'll get a friend out of it eventually! Just don't stay friends with them and lie to yourself about not having feelings for them, and you'll be fine!

We hope you enjoyed the episode, we love making this podcast for you! If there's anything you'd like to see, any advice you'd like, please do reach out and make any recommendations you might have.

You can find us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Our website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, review and share, and we'll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Even though starting the new year doesn't mean you have to set goals for yourself we think it's always important to be do some self reflection. It's easy to look back and be critical of what you achieved during the year, but maybe setting small goals for yourself like how you want to improve your relationships or something you want to explore in your sex life, like a new kink, will be more realistic than deciding you're going to cut out sugar forever! We encourage you set intentions if you will, or rather just resolutions you can keep.

In this week's episode we discuss what we want from 2020 in our careers, relationships and sex lives, from learning to integrate exercise into our routine to wanting to have a threesome, and also hear our listeners' resolutions.

We wish you all a happy 2021 and we can't wait to spend it with you and see you next Tuesday!

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, review and share. We dedicate a lot of time to creating this podcast so if you listen regularly it would help us out a lot!

You can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We wanted to share some of our 2020 favourites and what really got us through the year, from TV shows, to Podcasts, to books, which will all be available to find in our website. We hope you can find something positive to say about the year, even if only small!

Please don’t forget you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and you can subscribe and rate us, too, wherever you get your podcasts!

You can find more content on our social media, below, and get in contact with us if you have any recommendations or feedback:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since we have both been in relationships with men, we speak about how that can be difficult when identifying with our bisexuality, how the 'gay world' and the 'straight world' seem to fail to coexist sometimes, and how someone who is part of both, it can sometimes feel like the world doesn't have a place for bisexuals.

We talk about how dating men and women can feel so different, and how lucky bisexuals are that we get to experience both and whether we fear 'missing out' on dating girls or dating guys once we settle down with one person.

Ultimately, we complain about all the hard stuff that comes along with being bisexual, yet we both agree we would not want it any other way.

Love the way you are! No matter who you love. We love you.

Please don’t forget you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and you can subscribe and rate us, too, wherever you get your podcasts! 

You can find more content on our social media, below, and get in contact with us if you have any recommendations or feedback:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin with a segment where we hear what the kinkiest thing our listeners have ever done is, ranging from peeing on someone to smelling people's underwear. Amir then tells us about his job as a shaman, and how he found out what kinks he's into (spoiler...he's into puppy play). He tells us how his work and his sex life are similar in that he has to pay close attention to what he really wants, making sure he knows what sort of energy he expects to receive from his interactions with others. We also dive into the BDSM community and what kind of space it provides people with kinks, as well as aftercare, with Amir teaching us about how submissives and dominants are really not that different when it comes down to it.

We hope you enjoy this episode! You can find Amir on instagram @anarchy_flow7777,

And you can find more of us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Website: sextraspodcast.com

We now have stickers! We'll be giving one away every week to our favourite submission for the segment. Keep an eye out on instagram to see when we post the prompts for the segments, and you can also submit your stories anonymously through our website.

Don't forget to review, rate, subscribe and share our podcast if you enjoy! See you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss whether expectations are good or bad, where they come from, and what they tell us about our relationship. We begin with our segment where we hear what our listeners expect from their significant others but not from their friends. We try to unpack how expectations have hurt or disappointed us, as well as wondering what to do when expectations in relationships lead to resentment.

Sometimes we place more meaning on our relationships than our friendships because we love and care about someone, but communicating your (frankly sometimes impossible to meet) expectations can help both parties clarify the reality of the situation.

What are your expectations? We suggest trying to understand where they come from and compromising with your partner to find a level of happiness and understanding.

If you enjoy this episode please leave us a review, rate us, subscribe, and share with everyone you know!

You can find more of us here:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

www.sextraspodcast.com

See you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We end the episode with a brief discussion about the differences between sleeping with someone you have feelings for versus a one night stand, and how intimacy and closeness can make sex that much more special. We're so happy for Matilda and we wish her so much luck in love- and to all the rest of our listeners negotiating love during COVID-19, we hope this story brought you some joy and optimism!

(We know not everyone can be with their loved ones right now, check out our episodes 'Sex, Love, and COVID-19'; 'Sanity, Love, and COVID-19' and 'Does Distance Make the Heart Grow Fonder?' for more.)

We hope you enjoyed the episode, as always don't forget to subscribe, rate, review and share, and we'll see you next Tuesday!

For more content or to contact us you can find us here:

Instagram @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Or check out our website- www.sextraspodcast.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We understand, and so this week we wanted to sit down and update our previous COVID-19 episode (Sex, Love and COVID-19), as well as outline, through your submissions, a diverse range of experiences and coping mechanisms. We asked, ‘What have you been doing to look after yourself during the pandemic?’: from making the bed to listening to wise Buddhist monks, we shared some of your self care tips. We also asked how many people’s mental health has been affected, with the majority admitting that it had been affected negatively. Lastly, we get an update on what everyone's dating lives have looked like during the pandemic, from long distance relationships, to break ups, to sexting, nudes, and difficult marriages. Sex and relationships have been hard during the pandemic, particularly in lockdown, and we wanted to get an update on what they look like now versus before.

We ultimately discuss how people have changed during the pandemic and how we have seen ourselves change. We celebrate our listeners' achievements and remind everyone that even though lockdown can make life feel very monotonous it’s important to take a look at what has been going on and what we have actually achieved, and congratulate ourselves and our listeners for having the strength and patience to take this experience in and remind everyone that it’s okay not to be okay.

Let us know what you’ve been doing to stay sane during the pandemic!

You can find us on:

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe and share, and we'll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mabel Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We begin the episode with our segment where we ask you guys 'What's something you would hate for your significant other's family to know about you?,' agreeing it's probably not the best idea to discuss anything related to your sex life or how many drugs you do around your s/o's family. We discuss what we wouldn't want our significant others' families to know about us, like our religious views, being bisexual, and the fact that we have a podcast where we talk about sex and relationships (we would die if they listened).

We then move on to talking about the results to the polls we asked our instagram followers, with people saying it is a big deal to introduce your significant other to your family; it's important for them to like you and it's important for your family to like them. Our followers voted that it's also not important for someone you're dating to be close with their family, and we discuss what those situations would look like, such as your partner not telling you a family secret or not helping you to feel involved with their family when visiting.

Overall, we conclude all of these questions depend on the type of person you want to date. We both want to feel involved in our partners' lives and past lives, so it's important for us to feel close with their families, but we also discuss what we would do if that wasn't the case (try and convince them to change their minds.)

Let us know your thoughts and tell us your stories about your s/o's family.

You can find us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe and share, and we'll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Miranda then tells us about her own experiences of sex and being labelled as sexual growing up, explaining how often young women can try to fulfil labels that are imposed on them. We try to unpack how sex can be used to escape emotional vulnerability, even though it's often more rewarding, and how that takes away from individual sexual power. We also agree that our sexuality should not define us as women, but how it can be empowering if you're using it in the right way.

We then move on to our own role in perpetuating gendered sexual roles, and how this impacts not only women but men, too. We explore the idea of blurring the boundaries of 'male' and 'female' in sex and how that can open up a whole new way of experiencing sex and relationships. Sometimes labels are helpful in categorising people, but being able to look past labels and not be fixated on them is important.

As always thank you so much for listening! You can rate us, subscribe, leave us a review (Apple Podcasts and Podchaser) and please tell everyone you know about us!

You can follow us and engage with us more on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

See you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, we reminisce and examine the very first memories we have about sex, our attitudes around it and the things we were taught. We dive into the way our parents talked about sex, if they did at all, and the way we were initially taught what it was. Sex education is unfortunately lacking in many ways, and as we describe our experiences we definitely find some gaps in our knowledge, for example we wonder how we learnt what gay sex was and when we were first conscious of gay people existing. We try to dissect our emotions and attitudes towards sex when our peers were first talking about it or when we started seeing it or experiencing it ourselves, to try to understand and break down the way we think and feel about sex now. We talk about what we wish we could tell our younger selves and what we wish we'd learnt that we didn't.

During the segment we asked you what myths about sex you believed when you were kids, and we laugh about the misconceptions we all have when we’re young, like thinking that sex is just a naked hug. At the end of the episode we advise someone who posted on our university confessions page of what to do if you catch feelings for your friends with benefits.

Please send us your suggestions and stories! We love to hear from you. Get in contact with us on our

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Please don't forget to rate us and review us and tell all your friends about us! It helps us out so much. See you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For our segment this week we asked our followers a series of questions revolving around how important money is in comparison to love. We sit down with our guest Theo Whitmore, who, in his 20s, thinks that we should prioritise money, even if that means sacrificing the promise of love. We discuss whether success really comes completely down to making lots of money. He shares his view that actually, in order to optimise one's chances on finding the best possible partner one must first focus on themselves and building their wealth. We ask each other how big of a role money plays in choosing a partner- does having money make people more attractive? Would we date someone that has a lot less/more money than us? Theo confesses some of his worries that someone may be after him for his money, or that he may feel emasculated if his partner has more money than him.

Ultimately, even though our views differ a lot to Theo's, we enlighten each other on why someone might choose to prioritise love whilst others may choose money. And as Theo said, sometimes we don't have to choose between the two, as there is such a thing as loving money.

You can connect with us through:

Instagram- @sextraspodcast

Facebook- Sextras Podcast

Email- sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Please don't forget to leave us a rating or review if you enjoyed, and share and subscribe. See you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we start the episode by reading what our listeners think makes them difficult to love, diving into whether being picky makes you difficult and discovering that a lot of people think being insecure makes them difficult in love. Then we break down what we think makes us difficult in love, using our attachment styles as a way of understanding why we are a certain way, and laughing at the fact that we are complete opposites in love. We learn that Honey thinks she's too independent and can't rely on others, which Maria confirms she can find annoying in Honey and in people she loves, and try to understand the dynamic between anxious and avoidant attachment styles by attempting to understand ourselves as partners a little better.

If we learnt anything at all, it's that having compassion for those who live and express their love differently to you is always helpful. You might think you know why someone doesn't know how to comfort you when you cry- they clearly don't care- but really this plays a bigger part in them attempting to understand you and worrying they might disappoint you. We hope we open your minds and inspire you to contemplate your difficulties in love, or to have a conversation with your partner about their attachment styles and love languages.

This video was inspired by a video by The School of Life. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UewdiBh_52U

Don't forget you can write us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and please share us, rate us and subscribe!

Feel free to connect with us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

See you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alex later breaks down how the voting system works in America and deconstructs why it's so important for everyone to get out and vote for Biden in the 2020 Presidential election. Alex informs us of the harsh truths about the impact of Trump's administration and the potential damage it could further have on women and minorities should he be re-elected. Alex highlights that people, and particularly women, of colour are adversely affected by climate change and prejudices in the healthcare and justice systems

Then, we dive deeper into the history of discrimination that women, particularly women of colour, face in terms of the healthcare that is accessible to them and the rights that women have (or too often don't have) over their own bodies.

Ultimately, we inform people of the reality of their vote and its impacts on individuals' lives. We want to remind people that there is hope for change, but there is work to be done to get there. And just because this is happening in the US and not where you live, beware, because it very quickly could be happening to you, where you live. If a man like Trump can be President, anything can happen.

Don't forget to vote! #Biden2020

Special mentions in this episode: New Books in Gender Studies, ep.98: 'Michele Goodwin: "Policing the Womb: Invisible Women and the Criminalization of Motherhood"'.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/new-books-in-gender-studies/id425400236?i=1000493068990

You can find Alex on Instagram @al.williams.turner

You can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast or Facebook at 'Sextras Podcast'.

Feel free to message us or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.

Please don’t forget you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and you can subscribe and rate us, too, wherever you get your podcasts! 

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As one of our listeners put it, it’s very easy to say you wouldn’t be in a long distance relationship until the person you love has to live away from you. And it’s true- we do many stupid things for love, and long distance may be one of them. But how hard are long distance relationships really?

We tell our personal stories and what we find difficult, such as being sexually frustrated, feeling jealous of not being involved in our partner’s lives, irrationally worrying that they’re cheating, or feeling depressed when they leave after visiting. But we offer advice on how to get through these, and also talk about the benefits, and how sometimes it can really help the relationship grow.

People in long distance relationships really have to work on their communication skills, meaning they maybe even have better conversations (because, let’s face it, that all they do even when they’re sexting or having phone sex) and develop their trust in ways people in normal relationships will never be able to experience. Sometimes they’re healthier than normal relationships, as codependence isn’t allowed to breed where it otherwise would.

Long distance relationships truly do test your love for your partner, but they’re worth it. So, does distance make the heart grow fonder? We don’t know, but we do think it helps! 

Please don’t forget you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and you can subscribe and rate us, too, wherever you get your podcasts! 

For more content or to contact us, follow us on

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Special mentions in this episode: The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow on Netflix

As always, please don't forget to share, subscribe and rate and review!

You can follow us for updates, more content, and to contact us here:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can follow our lovely guest on:

Tiktok: @toriskingdom

Instagram: @toriskingdom

And you can follow, dm, and support us on:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Be proud of who you are! We’re proud of you. 

Please subscribe and write us a review, you can do so on Apple Podcasts and Podchaser. Let us know what you enjoy and why you'd recommend us to someone else!

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Facebook: Sextras Podcast (or join our Facebook group 'Sextras Listeners Community')

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At the opening of the episode we introduce a new section of the podcast, in which we discuss something we saw on the internet that week. This week we discussed: Pet peeves about your partner and how to bring that up; confessing a fear of having sex after you’ve been out of the game for a while, and a very angry post from a friend that is sick of being the third wheel. 

We are starting a competition in which the best submission for the questions we ask on Instagram for our segment will win a sticker that we will send to you! We love to hear your stories-

Find us personally @majhaytils and @_honeywyatt on instagram, or: @sextraspodcast 

Email us on sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We emphasise that physical appearance doesn’t determine your worth, as we are all multi-faceted beings. We discuss how to reach self acceptance despite facing criticism on personality traits, and advise you on how to find parts of yourself you do like amongst the negative. We encourage everyone to look into themselves and chase their passions and interests in order to find a sense of happiness. Ultimately, we share the key to feeling confident: fake it till you make it. 

Be kind to yourself, you’re beautiful. 

Special mentions in this episode:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/12/style/modern-love-hookup-ghosting-use-your-words.html

Maria's unique illustration for this episode can be found on our instagram @sextraspodcast.

Feel free to DM us, or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We touch on the hypocrisy of men constantly sexualising women, but then shaming them when they claim agency over their own sexuality, and discuss how the inherent sexism and racism of the music industry has been exposed recently with the censoring of  the term ‘pussy’ from Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s new music video ‘WAP’ (Wet Ass Pussy). 

Special mentions in this episode: 

‘WAP’ by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsm4poTWjMs

‘Women, Race & Class’ by Angela Y. Davis

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As we approach the end of the quarantine in most places, it is important to look back on what we have learnt and attempt to come out of this better than when it started. Be kind, stay safe. 

Instagram: @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram- @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Instagram- @sextraspodcast 

Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.