Stories of Jesus (as told by atheists)

The Eagle And The Queen Of The Desert On Mars Hill

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 18:16:41 GMT

Paul's back again doing some more travels to a nice hill full of caramel where he meets some pretty groovy people called the epicureans who are just all about having a great time. Enjoy.

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Road Trip

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 15:34:55 GMT

Paul and Barnabas aren't having the best road trip evez, so they split up and boy-o-boy do they get into some humorous situations! Get ready for a buddy movie only it's the bible and it's getting tortured. Stories of Jesus, here for you every Wednesday.

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John's Mum's House

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 16:49:04 GMT

I mean, we talk about dick worms a lot - do you really need any other reason to listen to it? #StoriesOfJesus

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Saul Is Back

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 18:18:28 GMT

So we got a couple of stories from the book of Acts this time, including the return of Saul! Oh wait, but it's not the same Saul...

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Judas and Acts

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 18:27:28 GMT

Judas is dead as a doornail now, but how'd he do it? Also, when does a cult become a religion and what is the Israeli equivalent of a raccoon? All this and more on this week's SOJPOD

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He Is Risen

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 12:44:51 GMT

Guess who's back, back again, Jesus back, tell a friend. We chat about what happens when they go look and Jesus isn't dead anymore! It's an exciting week on SojPod!

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The Crucifixion

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 18:17:53 GMT

Join us this week for Simon's Stag, it's gonna be sick mate, he's got the brews in and we're gonna get mad - oh also Jesus dies.

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The Last Supper

Wed, 22 Jan 2020 12:51:52 GMT

Get your knives and forks ready, it's the last supper and shits about to go down.

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Parables Part 2

Wed, 15 Jan 2020 12:37:29 GMT

We got some more parables here for you from the J man himself! Hope you enjoy your Story of Jesus this week!

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Zacchaeus

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 08:00:13 GMT

What do you do when you're too short to see at a concert? Climb a tree of course! At least that's what you do if you're Zacchaeus, Jesus' fave little guy. Tune in for another, Stories of Jesus.

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Christmas Carols

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 12:10:42 GMT

It's Chriiiistmaaaas! We take a closer look at the lyrics to some of our favorite Christmas carols, and unfortunately, Tom sings a lot. Merry Christmas to all!

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Lazarus

Tue, 12 Nov 2019 00:00:03 GMT

The shortest healing story ever, then a lotta famous sayings and also David Bowie references. It's time for another episode of Stories of Jesus.

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Prodigal Sons And Lost Lambs

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 12:00:02 GMT

Who knew Tom loved donkeys this much? We do some more of Jesus' parables and also discuss the Beano. It's all here, on this weeks' Stories of Jesus

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The Good Samaritan

Tue, 29 Oct 2019 12:00:22 GMT

Guess how long it's been since Tom washed his jeans? It's way longer than it should be. Also, we talk about Jesus

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Transfiguration

Wed, 23 Oct 2019 15:24:30 GMT

Big trick this week, Dynamo himself would be proud.

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Bread

Tue, 15 Oct 2019 05:00:12 GMT

It's bread week, here on the Great British Bake Off - oh wait no, there are still some fish too. Oh well, variety is the spice of life.

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Fish

Tue, 08 Oct 2019 05:00:04 GMT

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Sermon On The Mount...again

Tue, 01 Oct 2019 02:00:04 GMT

It's time for baby's first sermon! We hear some ideas from this kooky little man called Jesus.

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Parables

Tue, 17 Sep 2019 11:00:45 GMT

Do plants talk to each other? Do meteorologists love weather? Does Tom watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? We answer these, and other important questions, on this weeks Stories of Jesus (as told by atheists)

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Well Woman

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 11:00:15 GMT

Cracking stories today where we find out Jesus was basically Horatio Caine and we try to think about the perfect way to put 5 columns around a pool

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Well Pleased

Tue, 27 Aug 2019 11:00:16 GMT

It's time for Jesus! We have a look at some of the first miracles and stuff that he did, and turns out he was basically running to the offie every now and then. Join us for an actual Story of Jesus!

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Job Part 2

Tue, 20 Aug 2019 11:00:55 GMT

It's time for God to step in and have a chat with Job. I mean, does it help? Not really, it's the end of the Job story and we find out there just might be a dino in the bible! It's stories of Jesus.

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Job Part 1

Tue, 13 Aug 2019 13:32:45 GMT

Not gonna lie lads, we get mad deep in this one. We're doing the story of Job (aka the Bender is God episode of Futurama) and as well as thinking about the complex moral and philosophical questions, we also learn that Alice would totes read Tom a book if he was sick. It's another episode of Stories of Jesus!

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MiniSoj - Nehemiah

Tue, 30 Jul 2019 13:24:28 GMT

Just a little episode today about the kings fave cupbearer. We also celebrate Tom's birthday with a round up of what Alice has learned so far, and go wildly off-topic several times.

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Esther

Tue, 23 Jul 2019 12:18:39 GMT

The book of Esther - aka the reality show of the bible. This might be Alice's favorite story yet.

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Daniel part 2

Tue, 16 Jul 2019 11:00:34 GMT

Do you dare to be a Daniel? We do in this episode, continuing to tell the story of Daniel, even though it contains more kid death and references to early 00's pop contest winners. It's stories of Jesus, still not featuring Jesus

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Daniel Part 1

Tue, 09 Jul 2019 12:17:08 GMT

Daniel's here with some big dreams, a chance to make a pizza, a return to your childhood literature class and of course, some more parties. It's another, story of jesus not featuring jesus.

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Jehu

Tue, 02 Jul 2019 11:00:39 GMT

We're back from Vaycay with your weekly dose of child death! Exciting kid stew, more name calling and some pretty murky territory in terms of who dies when. It's your story of Jesus (still not featuring Jesus)

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Elisha

Tue, 04 Jun 2019 11:00:15 GMT

Well, dear old Elisha, good guy, right? Old Baldy Man? No, seriously this guy is a prick. Everyone one this week is a prick. Get ready for some seriously bad vibes mates, it's another SOJPOD not featuring Jesus (yet)

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Mini SOJ - Jehoshaphat

Tue, 28 May 2019 11:00:37 GMT

Just a short one this week, learn about the bad king with the weird name!

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Elijah

Tue, 21 May 2019 11:00:17 GMT

It's about time we hear from Elijah (not wood) and his totes spectacular demonstration against Baal! Also some light pub quiz knowledge about measurements of wine. You're welcome.

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Song of Solomon

Tue, 14 May 2019 11:00:39 GMT

This weeks episode is as hot as a jalapeno pepper! We cover the sexy Song of Solomon, which apparently is about God's love for his people... but nah, seriously it's about bangin.

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Psalms and Proverbs

Tue, 07 May 2019 11:00:09 GMT

Bit of a different episode for you this week - we're looking at the Psalms and Proverbs, reading some of Tom's favorites and wondering what on earth some of them mean. It's another episode of Sojpod

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Solomon

Tue, 30 Apr 2019 11:00:09 GMT

It's time for a new king! And we've gone with Solomon, the wisest guy in the land! Except for when it comes to women.

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David Dies

Tue, 23 Apr 2019 11:00:04 GMT

David is dying! About time too, but first, he's gotta abuse just one more woman. Join us on another grim adventure into the bible.

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David's Kids

Tue, 16 Apr 2019 11:00:34 GMT

Enough about David for a bit, let's have a look at some of his brood - what are they up to? Enjoy a classic tale of brotherly rivals and a pretty funny death - it's your favorite bible themed podcast, Stories of Jesus**as told by atheists

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David and Bathsheba

Tue, 09 Apr 2019 15:04:30 GMT

It's the original girl next door story! Can David keep it in his pants? Spoiler, no he can't. To summarise, it's a woman having a bath, she's seen, then there's a metaphor about her being a sheep - ba. Bath-She-Ba.

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David becomes King

Wed, 03 Apr 2019 11:00:11 GMT

Alice finally realises a big thing this week. We're chatting about David and how he becomes king of... umm... not where you'd think...

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The Death of Saul

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 14:14:30 GMT

That's Saul Folks! Saul is dead, and so is Jonathan, how will David cope without his best friend? All this and more on SOJPOD

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David and Achish

Tue, 19 Mar 2019 12:30:19 GMT

We're back to David this week and we're chatting all about how he keeps making mini skirts! Also, why on earth are the Philistines happy to have him about? We find out!

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Jonah

Tue, 12 Mar 2019 13:00:48 GMT

Could you live inside a whale? Was it even a whale? Why does Alice hate fish so much? All these questions will be answered today, on SOJPOD!

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David and Jonathan

Tue, 05 Mar 2019 12:01:03 GMT

Ok, this is the gay story of the bible. This week we cover the special friendship between David and Jonathan and try to figure out what Saul did with the 200 foreskins David brought him. It's another riveting episode of Stories of Jesus (still not featuring Jesus)

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David

Tue, 26 Feb 2019 12:00:36 GMT

How big was Goliath really though? Why does Alice know so much about cows and cheese? Do you know what a truckle is? All this and more on todays Stories of Jesus!

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Saul

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 12:00:35 GMT

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Samuel

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 13:00:25 GMT

It's time for another meaty story! Samuel is just your average kid, but little does he know when he goes to live with the weird old priest Eli, he's gonna get God's ear! Weird dreams, hemorrhoids, and golden mice, all this week on Stories of Jesus

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Ruth & Naomi

Tue, 05 Feb 2019 13:22:24 GMT

Alice tries to force a lesbian storyline where there isn't one, there is a lot of talk of barley, and Tom reveals the secret of how to get the guy you like. It's the stories of Jesus (still not featuring Jesus yet)

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Deborah and Ehud

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 12:43:01 GMT

Eglon wasn't a long omelette, and Jael was a badass. A couple more short stories from the book of Judges before we head on to Ruth!

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Short Stories from The Book Of Judges

Tue, 22 Jan 2019 11:44:52 GMT

Okay, just a warning that the last story on this episode is literally horrible. The other two are classic bible fodder though. Seriously, I'm not joking, the last story is so grim.

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Samson

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 09:36:03 GMT

Why would anyone call their child Delilah? Without Tom Jones and the Plain White T's the name would've completely died out by now we think. It's the story of Samson, a relatively okay veggie guy who had a lot of hair

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Gideon

Tue, 08 Jan 2019 09:30:25 GMT

Gideon heads to Midian and comes up with the most epic chant ever!

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Christmas

Tue, 11 Dec 2018 12:54:10 GMT

Time for the Nativity story! In a bit of a switcheroo, Alice tells Tom her version of it this week, as it's one of the few stories she knows from the bible... or so she thought...

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Mini Soj - The AI

Tue, 04 Dec 2018 11:48:04 GMT

Just a little episode this week, about the battle for the AI!

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Joshua and Jericho

Tue, 27 Nov 2018 10:53:44 GMT

Almost time for the land of milk and honey but first - let's do some more slaughtering! Time for Joshua to take Jericho and just totally mess up all the people who live there - but don't worry, it's in God's name so it's chill.

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Complainers Part 2

Wed, 21 Nov 2018 13:08:59 GMT

Yep - they haven't learnt their lesson yet! We here some more little stories before a big ole' battle next week - get ready for some death!

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The Complainers

Tue, 13 Nov 2018 11:04:53 GMT

We're in the desert now, having a walk, but life hasn't turned out quite as good as they were promised, so naturally, they want to complain. God's not chill with that and death ensues. Join us for another Stories of Jesus, not yet staring Jesus. It's sunday school for sinners.

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The 10 Commandments

Tue, 06 Nov 2018 11:23:48 GMT

So we've made it to the 10 commandments, the 10 main rules that God gave to moses, only there was actually another 10 bonus rules which don't get taught very often. There's a reason for that, they are all awful. Tune in to hear the 10 rules sunday school won't tell you!

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Moses Part 2

Tue, 30 Oct 2018 11:13:48 GMT

Moses has made it back to egypt, determined to get Pharoh to let his people go! We have all kinds of fun with plagues and slaughter and all that kind of bible jazz we love so much.

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Moses Part 1

Tue, 23 Oct 2018 12:44:41 GMT

We start the story of Moses, the one Alice sorta kinda knows a bit of.... we think... maybe not so much.

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Extra Joseph, Dinah and Onan

Tue, 16 Oct 2018 10:37:51 GMT

We missed a little bit of Joseph! But it's here now, so stop panicking, we also talk about Dinah and how her brothers were generally pretty good, and also about how the bible doesn't really say anything about masturbation.

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Joseph

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 10:59:13 GMT

J-J-J-Joseph you know what they say! (Actually I don't) Alice learns the story of Joseph and his long sleeved coat.

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Jacob & Esau

Tue, 02 Oct 2018 12:18:37 GMT

Issac is down the mountain and safely back home, now what? Time for twins! Let's get these thirsty camels sorted and find you a wife. Oh, btw, the first twin.....he might be a bit red and hairy.....The stories of jesus as I've never heard them before!

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Abraham

Thu, 27 Sep 2018 15:26:02 GMT

We're at Abraham, the man who was told he'd have as many kids as there are stars in the sky... despite the fact he and his wife were both about 80 years old...

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MiniSoj - The Tower of Babel

Mon, 24 Sep 2018 08:45:30 GMT

We discuss how language came to be and why a big tower is never a good idea.

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Noah's Ark

Tue, 18 Sep 2018 09:10:45 GMT

So, now we've created the world, time to destroy it. Enter Noah and his Gopher wood ark! Alice learns all about the first ever rain and we discuss the sanitation of the ark.

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Creation

Thu, 06 Sep 2018 08:44:28 GMT

Alice has never read the bible, Tom is astonished by this and sets out to teach her the stories of Jesus just as he was told them when he was young.

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