NAMELESS BEST FRIENDS

"The Grinch" (1966) feat. Harriet Kemsley!!!!!!

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 16:00:00 GMT

BEYOND overwhelmed and excited to have hilarious comedian Harriet Kemsley on today's episode!!!! Our anglophile hearts have grown three sizes this day.

We ask some hardhitting questions here, like...why won't the grinch wear pants? Do the Whos have a Whobilee? What HAPPENED before the new era of peace and prosperity? And also...what are all the Whos on, and can we get some?

Don't forget to rate us 5 stars and share with your friends!!!!!

Follow Harriet on Insta!

Get tickets for her show, FLOOZY!

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Mariah Carey Presents: "A Christmas Melody" feat. Ronald Young Jr!

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 02:08:32 GMT

**If you want to see the video of this episode, it's currently free and ad-free on youtube!!!**

We’re covering A Christmas Melody and we’re joined by the one and only Ronald Young Jr!

Ronald is a writer, critic, and culture obsessive you may know from Leaving the Theater, NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour, and Weight for It!

🎄 A Christmas Melody info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4917236/

https://ronaldyoungjr.com

Follow Ron on Insta! @ohitsbigron

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Netflix Movie: "Merry Little Ex-Mas"

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 23:40:51 GMT

Our most requested movie this holiday season!

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HOLIDAY RERUN! "The Santa Summit"

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 02:17:23 GMT

RE-RELEASE TIME - in honor of having Stephanie Sy on the pod, we're re-rereleasing one of our favorite episodes!

or: "The Harbisons Get Religion"

Welp. This movie is perfect. I'd apologize, but this might have been our favorite episode to record to date. Was it because we'd consumed a bottle and a half of wine before deciding to record the podcast in the middle of the night after watching the movie because we just COULDN'T WAIT to talk about it?? Yeah, partially. But also, rarely does Hallmark give us a gift that is this GOOD! Especially when the trailer gave us the LOWEST expectations. Ugh, look at me. Look at me! I can't even stop in the caption. I must control myself.

As always, thank you so much for listening and sharing. We are so grateful to our listeners!! Keep on downloading, giving us 5 stars, and sharing with your nameless best friends. Follow us on Instagram for more fun supplementary content and updates! The more you share and rate and download, the more fun stuff we can do in the future. Please, don't make Jack get a job at a restaurant.

Speaking of Jack, find him on Spotify and follow him for his upcoming album here, or follow him on Instagram or both!

Read Beth's backlog for other great stories and follow her on instagram, read Paige's books too or follow her on Insta for some funny content!

Our insta!

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"White Christmas" feat. Stephanie Sy! (OF SANTA SUMMIT!!!!!!)

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 02:04:34 GMT

If you've been around a while, you'll know that getting one of the girls from actual Santa Summit is just about the biggest deal ever?!? We have the lovely, talented, effervescent Stephanie Sy on the pod today covering the classic, White Christmas! If you haven't heard it, we really encourage you to listen to the Santa Summit episode, where we all had a bottle of wine and waxes rhapsodic for an hour about the magical film.

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Holiday Season Kickoff - “Serendipity” feat. Sophie Cousens!

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 17:26:06 GMT

Sophie is back! And this time we’re debating whether this movie is good, bad, or both. Grab a frozen hot chocolate and let’s go on a New York Holiday adventure!

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ANNUAL HOLIDAY RERUN - The Christmas Prince AD-FREE!

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 17:45:31 GMT

2025 Season Holiday episodes are incoming!!! In the meantime, enjoy this rerun from Patreon! AD FREE! It's like when dr*g dealers give you the first hit free, we're hoping to lure you into Patreon.

If you love The Sound of Music so much that you'll settle for anything even remotely similar, this is the movie for you! Not saying that's a bad thing, we actually found it pretty enjoyable. Were there a few ridiculous coincidences? Of course. A cheap device to create pity and a "serious" tone? Indeed. Was there a happy ending? Weirdly enough...we're not going to say. Even though you could guess.

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ANNUAL HOLIDAY RERUN - The Princess Switch AD-FREE

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 17:35:49 GMT

RERUN!!!!! We're getting ready to post a whole lot of new christmas/holiday episodes, but in the meantime enjoy this AD-FREE pre-holiday treat! A sample of the ad-free goodness you get on Patreon!

Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens star in The Princess Switch! Little to no effort is made to make this in any way plausible but it's still a pleasant movie. The rental house "Kevin" and "Stacy" have is fantastic, but what isn't beautiful in Belgravia, amirite? Besides the castle.

By the way, only one of us thought it was a good idea to leave the rambling intro in. It wasn't Beth.

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HALLOWEEN MOVIE! - Interview With a Vampire (or Brokeback Crypt) feat. the return of Jack! + Flower Person

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 17:37:58 GMT

Yes, that's right, Jack is back! For God KNOWS how long, but we're happy to have this little flake back on the show, and this time with his wife in tow!

Kick back with your spiked cup of apple cider or blood or whatever and enjoy this week's film, full of wigs, vanity casting, and one unbelievable performance. You'll never GUESS which one of us didn't like it, and it's not who you might think...!

Get onto Patreon for no ads! Support us! We need it! Haha, but really

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A Royal Montana Christmas feat. Elissa Sussman!

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 00:03:09 GMT

It's another Hallmark movie everyone! This time featuring Romance Queen, Elissa Sussman, who spills the tea on her upcoming TV show starring an INCREDIBLY HOT heart throb and we talk about the awful hat and accents in this movie!

Where to find Elissa:

https://elissasussman.com/

But How's the Sex?

instagram.com/elissa_sussman

tiktok.com/elissa.sussman

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"Practical Magic" feat. Blythe Roberson!

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 17:08:15 GMT

WE ONLY HAVE BLYTHE ON FOR WITCHES! Well, at least so far! We were lucky enough to have her on the pod last year for Hocus Pocus, and this year we're rewatching Practical Magic. Spoiler alert, we still like this one. We talk about hot Nicole Kidman, not-Hot Jimmy, and debate the appeal of living in an idyllic town full of MEAN AF bullies who hate witches.

Listen to our other episodes with Blythe:

on Apple Podcasts

on Spotify

Blythe's Books

on Bookshop.org:

America the Beautiful?: One Woman in a Borrowed Prius on the Road Most Travelled

How to Date Men When You Hate Men

on Amazon

America the Beautiful?: One Woman in a Borrowed Prius on the Road Most Travelled

How to Date Men When You Hate Men

Blythe's Website with links to all her writings, other podcasts, and where to find her!

Blythe's Instagram

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"You've Got Mail" feat. Joss Richard!

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 17:13:48 GMT

Time to watch a classic! Joss is the debut author of the immediately-beloved romance novel, It's Different This Time about two ex-roommates who are left a brownstone in New York and have to live together for 30 days in order to inherit--will they fall in love?

But that's not ALL we're here to discuss, we're also here to watch the Meg Ryan Tom Hanks autumn bucket list movie, You've Got Mail. And...yes they do! AOL never got so much press.

Buy Joss' Book!

Support Small Bookstores!

Amazon

Listen to Joss' Podcast!

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SEASON PREMIERE! Adventures in Love and Birding - Hallmark Movie

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 00:02:55 GMT

Welllll well well, welcome back to Nameless Best Friends! I'm still Paige, and that's still Beth! Jack is in Paris! We'll explain on Patreon.

Anyway, this movie is batshit, and I think the title we landed on was, A Love so Fowl. This one is a 'you don't need to watch it, just listen to the episode' movie, but if you want to, it's on Hallmark Plus, and then later, in our nightmares!

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RERUN - "When Harry Met Sally"

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 18:24:50 GMT

Look, you're rewatching it, so we're reposting the episode! Because I don't care what the thermometer says, it's FALL! That means it's time for Hallmark, Nora Ephron, and Nancy Meyers! Or if you're Beth, Norepinephrine. Please like, subscribe, share with a friend, and give us five stars!!!!

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HANUKKAH IN JULY! Hallmark Movie - Leah's Perfect Gift

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Paige feels insane because a) this episode never seems to have been posted?!?! and also she....liked this movie???? and beth feels insane because.....she thought she posted it?? and why does Paige like it???

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Christmas in July! Hallmark Movie - "Three Wiser Men and a Baby"

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

HAPPY XMAS IN JULY!!!! THEY'RE HOT, THEY'RE BROTHERS, AND WE'RE INTO THIS

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"Bridget Jones's Diary" feat. Mackenzie Barmen!

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 05:24:45 GMT

What a treat we have for you today! Actor/comedian/ray of sunshine Mackenzie Barmen joins us to discuss the original Bridge Jones movie. Was Renée Zellweger really fat? (NO) Who was hotter, Hugh Grant or Colin Firth? (WE DON'T KNOW!) (Probably Hugh). And how did some of these jokes slide by a mere two decades ago?

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

You can also find us on Apple Podcasts here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nameless-best-friends/id1714011277 and on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/show/5TL5kAlHI2uQ3NGet2FO0g?si=e16dadfa84684df5

Find books by Beth Harbison everywhere books are sold, and definitely look for Paige’s book The Other Side of Now in Spring 2025 and find her hilarious one minute Hallmark, etc. videos on TikTok and Instagram, where she’s known as Pharbeaux.

Jack’s music is at Thalo.music and it’s great so go stream some today!

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Hallmark Movie - "Haul Out the Holly" (2022)

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 18:34:15 GMT

CHRISTMAS IN JULY! A Hallmark classic! We actually LOVE this one. It's playing all the time on Hallmark and is on Hallmark Plus!

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"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" feat. Sophie Cousens

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 13:00:00 GMT

Delightful British author, Sophie Cousens, joins us to chat about this movie, Kate Hudson, and a tantalizing taste of British celebs and comedians she knows and has worked with. Her latest book is IS SHE REALLY GOING OUT WITH HIM though Paige began raving about her a couple years back after reading THE GOOD PART. If you can resist reading her entire backlist after listening to her talk, it will be a surprise. She is such fun!

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

Meanwhile, we're trying again to put them all in one place so you only get interrupted once.

Jack’s music is at Thalo.music and it’s on Spotify so go stream some today!

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"The Parent Trap" 1998 - feat. Hannah Orenstein!

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:00:41 GMT

We are joined by the delightfully sunny author Hannah Orenstein. Are there HUGE PLOT PROBLEMS with the plot of The Parent Trap? Yes, of COURSE! Did we love it anyway? What cold hearted monster wouldn't?!

Order Hannah's book Playing With Matches and pre-order her upcoming, Maine Characters!

Tried to group all the commercials into one long break at 27:27 again so you can do one skip. Hopefully it works. If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

Jack’s music is at Thalo.music and it’s great so go stream some today!

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"Valentine's Day" (2010) PT II

Sat, 15 Feb 2025 00:30:48 GMT

For the theme, 'So...This is Love?"

In this one, the Harbisons think florist code is problematic, Paige gets in a tit-off with her nonexistent child, and everyone recalls warmly the one year they all liked Ashton Kutcher (‘shton’ to his friends, among whom jack counts himself). Oh, and also, don't worry, Adam grabbed his ****.

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"Valentine's Day" (2010) PT I

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 23:52:46 GMT

For the theme, 'So...This is Love?"

If this wasn't enough phone sex for you, read Beth's book Secrets of a Shoe Addict!

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Holiday Cringe Classic - Kirk Cameron Presents: Saving Christmas - feat. Jen Lancaster & Fletch! (from the Patreon vault!)

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 20:46:01 GMT

Wow, what words to even use to describe this...piece. For a hella devout group of people, there's so much ego, so much 'missing the point,' so much car-sitting. The preaching, the sanctimonious monologues, the very very white hip hop flash mob...the CAMERON of it all. Holy god, is all we have to say. We had an amazing time with Jen & Fletch, so the episode is a blast thank GOD.

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Disney Movie - "The Ultimate Christmas Present" - From the Patreon Vault!

Sun, 22 Dec 2024 01:07:46 GMT

It's Paige's fault. Entirely. Teen Beach Movie and now this.

Look, if you're looking for a great or beautiful film, this is far from it. But if you want a time portal directly to sitting in front of your heavy, bulky monster of a TV in the year 2000, it's a miracle! Is there magic in it? Yes. Is it magical? No. Worth watching? We did it for you!

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Hallmark Movie - "Hanukkah on the Rocks"

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 19:30:17 GMT

Hilarious author Lindsay Hameroff (Till there was You) joins us for what some of us found to be a pleasant holiday diversion. It's no "Round and Round," sure, but it's also not "Letters to Santa." Most importantly, it brings Marc Summers back to our screens, where he shows genuine warmth and charm at a time when we need it most.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, or if you'd like to give a membership to someone else look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses! https://www.patreon.com/posts/118376002/edit

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Netflix Movie - "The Christmas Prince" - From the Patreon Vault!

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 21:39:41 GMT

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Netflix Movie - The Princess Switch (from the Patreon Vault)

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 23:42:23 GMT

By the way, only one of us thought it was a good idea to leave the rambling intro in. It wasn't Beth.

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Hallmark Movie - "Sugarplummed"

Fri, 13 Dec 2024 19:47:44 GMT

Mixed feelings on this one. Is "Sugarplum" the actresses single name? Is she human? Why doesn't she understand anything about life? If she's just a character, does she have a human double out here somewhere? Why aren't these questions ever answered???

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movie - "Private Princess Christmas"

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 21:58:15 GMT

Wasn't Nancy Meyers working on a new, updasted Private Benjamin? And could they re-release the original with Goldie Hawn in the meantime? That was a great movie.

This is not that movie.

This is the story of a man with Issues that any sensible woman would stay away from. Not one surprise here. But we had fun discussing it!

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Netflix Movie - "Our Little Secret" - feat. Sarah Mitchell!

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 22:30:55 GMT

Beth couldn't make it to this recording so Jack read her notes, which ended up feeling at times like they were reading her diary. Anyway, we have another Lindsay Lohan Christmas offering. Not a great one but here it is.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movies - Thanksgiving Palooza Part Three

Sat, 07 Dec 2024 05:19:58 GMT

This is part three of three.

Seven movies in one long weekend is a LOT. Add a sudden breakup for one of your hosts and emergency surgery for a dog and it was just too much. We did the best we could!

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movies - Thanksgiving Palooza Part Two

Sat, 07 Dec 2024 04:41:08 GMT

This is part two of three.

Seven movies in one long weekend is a LOT. Add a sudden breakup for one of your hosts and emergency surgery for a dog and it was just too much. We did the best we could!

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movies - Thanksgiving Palooza Part One

Sat, 07 Dec 2024 04:37:41 GMT

This is part one of three.

Seven movies in one long weekend is a LOT. Add a sudden breakup for one of your hosts and emergency surgery for a dog and it was just too much. We did the best we could!

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movie - Christmas on Call

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 13:00:40 GMT

This movie was terrible. Yes, of course we all want to think about emergency rooms and car accidents at the holidays, but somehow this movie was lacking that special zing you'd expect with such a theme.

Hallmark hates us. Clearly.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses! We tried something a little different this time; we added a commercial break section and tried to put allllll the commercials in one block so you can skip or go to the kitchen or whatever. So expect a moment of silence around that and hang on - the cast will resume!

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Netflix Movie - "The Merry Gentlemen" Part Two

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 13:06:13 GMT

This is part two of two. We're glad you're back.

Beth couldn't make it for this recording, so it's just the kids! Paige, Jack, and June had a lot to say about The Merry Gentlemen and Chad Michael Murray in particular.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Netflix Movie - "The Merry Gentlemen" Part One

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 13:00:37 GMT

This is part one of two.

Beth couldn't make it for this recording, so it's just the kids! Paige, Jack, and June had a lot to say about The Merry Gentlemen and Chad Michael Murray in particular.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movie - "Confessions of a Christmas Letter"

Sat, 23 Nov 2024 13:00:28 GMT

It's fun to see Angela and Kevin on screen together again, if you're a fan of The Office.

And this is set at Christmastime.

So.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Classic Movie - "Return to Oz" - feat. Laura Hankin!

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 20:00:01 GMT

In honor of WICKED being released today, we're sharing a previous Patreon-only episode, talking with the fabulous and funny author, Laura Hankin, about this weird movie from the 80's. Unlike the Judy Garland version, this movie follows the original L. Frank Baum stories more faithfully - it helps to know that going in. A creepy Halloween classic, presented to you for...Thanksgiving. Enjoy!

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas with the Singhs"

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 05:28:48 GMT

Some of us thought this was a delightful movie. Some had quibbles. What did YOU think?

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Hallmark Movie - "Jingle Bell Run" Part Two - feat. Hallmark Snark!

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 21:18:35 GMT

This is part two of two.

It's our first crossover episode! For this one, we join forces with Hallmark Snark to share our takes on Jingle Bell Run, and we get to do snarks and sparks and "will this love last?" Which we all pretty much agreed it wouldn't. But it's fun while it's here!

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Hallmark Movie - "Jingle Bell Run" Part One - feat. Hallmark Snark!

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 10:00:00 GMT

This is part one of two.

If you hate commercials but love a sassy movie breakdown with a lot of pithy life observations strewn in, look for us on Patreon for an ad-free experience and bonuses!

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Netflix Movie - "Hot Frosty" Part Two - feat. Emily & June!

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 04:30:39 GMT

This is part two of two.

We had a watch party with Paige's lifelong bff, Emily, and Jack's fiance, June! Unsurprisingly everyone had a LOT to say about this one. Obviously we realize this is not supposed to be a serious drama but is it too much to ask that Hot Frosty be...hot?

If you want to enjoy our episodes without commercials, look for us on Patreon! The lowest tier is $5/month and we're covering ALLLLLL the Countdown to Christmas movies this season as well as special bonuses!

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Netflix Movie - "Hot Frosty" Part One- feat. Emily & June!

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 16:00:00 GMT

This is part one of two. We had a watch party with Paige's lifelong bff, Emily, and Jack's fiance, June! Unsurprisingly everyone had a LOT to say about this one. Obviously we realize this is not supposed to be a serious drama but is it too much to ask that Hot Frosty be...hot?

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Hallmark Movie - "Santa Tell Me"

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 23:40:28 GMT

This movie sure inspired us. Believe it or not, MOST of our complaints ended up on the cutting room floor, but there was no way to cover this one without pointing out that there was zero chemistry among any of the leads and the sister character was obviously dead. Not only that, but the family had clear left the house in a huge and desperate hurry 25 years ago. But our plucky heroine has no damns to give for sentiment. It's bonkers.

Remember - all episodes are available commercial-free on Patreon! Go ahead and patronize us for the Christmas season, all the cool kids are doing it! :)

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Hallmark Movie - "Tis the Season to be Irish" Part Two - feat. Amy Shiels!

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 03:19:19 GMT

This is part two!

For this (two part!) episode, we are joined by the lovely, funny, and authentically Irish actress, Amy Shiels! How lucky for all of us! She sets us straight on some "conventional wisdom" about Ireland, specifically Irish songs; but she spends most of the time proclaiming her absolute adoration of Hallmark movies. They should get on that and hire her, pronto!

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Hallmark Movie - "Tis the Season to be Irish" Part One - feat. Amy Shiels!

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 14:15:59 GMT

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Hallmark Movie - "Trivia at St. Nick's" Part Two - feat. Sophia Benoit!

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 19:20:00 GMT

The hilarious Sophia Benoit, author of "Well, This is Exhausting", joins us to discuss Triva at St. Nick's. We have a lot to say, hence the two parts. Stick around after the end of episode one for a sample of Jack's excellent song, "Sorry Sorry Sorry." (Some of us are over-apologizers).

Remember, if you prefer no commercials, we do have a Patreon where every episode comes ad-free and we have special Patreon-only episodes and group chats. Either way, we appreciate you!

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Hallmark Movie - "Trivia at St. Nick's" Part One - feat. Sophia Benoit!

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 19:15:00 GMT

Remember, if you prefer no commercials, we do have a Patreon where every episode comes ad-free and we have special Patreon-only episodes and group chats. Either way, we appreciate you!

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Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Mismatch" Part Two

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 06:00:00 GMT

Welcome back! Paige, Beth, and Jack are still at it. This is part two of "Holiday Mismatch - if you missed part one, it's out there somewhere!

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Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Mismatch" Part One

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 03:42:11 GMT

Hilda and Zelda Spellman are reunited! And so are the Harbison crew - Jack joins us for HOLIDAY MISMATCH, starring two of our faves from the 90's sitcom Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Salem did not join them, alas - it might have made this better. But this is still a semi-fun movie, and a very fun discussion!

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Hallmark Movie - "Our Christmas Story"

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 20:05:39 GMT

What a delightful surprise this is! Very cute, somewhat believable, with charming leads. This is a movie that evokes the feeling of a coffee commercial, relaxing on a soft sofa in a sunny Christmas-decorated living room, listening to a good story. Not a great story, but a solidly good one. And there's a train. Two thumbs pretty much up.

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Hallmark Movie - "A Carol for Two"

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 15:00:44 GMT

It's exactly what it sounds like. A singing movie. A duet. Overwrought vocals. Muddy plot. Both leads have lovely voices but was this the place and the way to display them? You tell us!

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Hallmark Movie - "5 Year Christmas Party"

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 15:00:49 GMT

Lucky episode 13 of season 3. Beth hated it. A lot of her loathing had to be cut. Apologies in advance if you loved this movie. But if you want to know what it's about, it's a little story about theater kids being theater kids way past the time they should be grown ups. There. You're welcome.

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas Charade"

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 15:00:21 GMT

Another movie based on simple misunderstandings and people who could have used their words right from the beginning and avoided all the confusion. If that's your thing, you're in for a treat - there was a LOT of confusion. There was a mildly interesting story with the parents, and a couple of funny moments, but if this is how the FBI works, we're all in trouble! Hide your jewels!

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Hallmark Movie - "Operation Nutcracker"

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 18:28:46 GMT

Well, well, well. Not their finest effort, perhaps. The lack of logic in this one was a real challenge for us but we soldiered on and this? This is the result. At least it was pretty!

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Hallmark Movie - "Scouting for Christmas"

Sun, 27 Oct 2024 06:12:57 GMT

We ddi NOT predict well on this one, mostly because we thought it was going to be a bit more progressive. Like when Peter Brady decided to become a Sunflower Girl to make a point. But no, this was an all-girls troop of Sunny Scouts with an evil Den Mother with nothing better to do than reject the best damn muffins they could ever have at the Sunny Scouts ball.... Whatever, Tamara Mowry is a beacon of charm and light in this otherwise-meh production. And frankly she makes the whole thing worth watching.

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Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Crashers"

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 02:03:43 GMT

We predicted this one! Not that you had to be Karnac to see what was coming - they're party crashers! During the holidays! Will they get caught lying about who they are? Of course they will! Cute idea, We had fun with it.

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Hallmark Movie - "Twas the Date before Christmas"

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 23:25:16 GMT

Robert Buckley and Amy Groening need to be in FAR more movies. Together, not together, it doesn't matter, but these two are gold. As is stepdad Marcus. Actually pretty much the whole cast was great and that elevated this problematic plot into a sparkling little gem, with all the "pretty" you want in a Hallmark Christmas movie and some witty repartee to boot. But the big reveal at the end? Stupid. In our humble opinion.

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Disney Plus movie - "Hocus Pocus" part 2

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 15:11:50 GMT

We are so excited to have writer and comedian Blythe Roberson join us for this episode! Blythe is a grown up who had never seen HOCUS POCUS before, and we open with some meandering about books and publishing but then we do get into the plot and some extra fun film facts.

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"Hocus Pocus" Part One - feat. Blythe Roberson!

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 00:00:18 GMT

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Hallmark Movie - "Haunted Wedding"

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Is this movie perfect? No. Would it make it into the top ten 2024 Hallmark movies? Probably not. Is it fun and delightful? Yes. Should Rod Spence, who created this story, be king of Hallmark? Yes. Rod Spence also created Good Witch and this movie has the same Good Witch sensibility. There were some plot holes, yes. Some things that needed explanation or, preferably, our re-writing. But all in all this is a great example of what Hallmark needs to do with October!

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Hallmark Movie - "Pumpkin Everything"

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 02:03:25 GMT

We're going to give it to you straight right up front: the cranky old man in this movie is the lead's grandfather, not her father. Her mom's in the movie too, sort of, but since she's taking zero responsibility for her failing father's wellbeing. Also, the actor playing the grandfather is only 34 years older than the lead, and 13 years older than the woman playing his daughter, so it's pretty easy to just fill him in as the dad and not granddad.

Anyway, this movie is about autumn. It's very pumpkin heavy. Except the enormous pumpkin that ends up in the back of the truck after they put a small one in - that's probably made of foam and NOT heavy at all.

We had some requests to cover this movie and it's easy to see why - it's pretty, it's Hallmark, and it's got some really improbable plot points. What's not to love?

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Hallmark COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS 2024

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 12:00:38 GMT

With virtually no information beyond the movie titles, Beth and Paige predict whether each of the 31 movies in Hallmark's Countdown to Christmas will be Good, mid, bad, or good-bad. We're really getting in the mood for the holidays now! And it's a good thing because the Christmas Countdown begins on October 18!

Also, Paige is trying to make, "I hate it any shape you can make it" happen. She's calling it the show's catchphrase. Both hosts are not in agreement on that.

Finally, Beth recommended this book and still does: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1804058564/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_GWAV8AW946JAXG1GFCDM?linkCode=ml1&tag=paigeharbison-20

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Hallmark Movie - "Autumn at Apple Hill"

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 12:55:51 GMT

We sure couldn't stay on subject for this one! Do they save the inn? They sure do. A good autumn yule log.

Here is the pigeon article Paige referenced. Interestingly, "Pigeon" is Beth's nickname for Paige (Lady and the Tramp fans get it). That's about as relevant as anything else here.

https://clickhole.com/can-you-match-the-pigeons-to-the-way-they-re-ruining-my-1825124723/

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Hallmark Movie - "The Real West"

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 12:00:29 GMT

We go west, with beautiful scenery and NO GHOSTS (disappointed!) in this one. Kimberly Susted is brilliant, as always, and plays a widowed professor who takes her boys to meet her sister and aunt on a dude ranch. Or a working ranch where they let randoms stay. We just couldn't figure that out. Anyway, James Denton is there (yay!) but he's not the hero (boo!). But it all works out anyway.

Here are links to the things mentioned besides the movie:

Beth's book, EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY (which DOES have a ghost in it...or does it?) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250043875/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_680XQFR87RQV2J7PVGWG?linkCode=ml1&tag=paigeharbison-20

Paige's June 2025 book, which is about to have a big cover reveal! https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250358078/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_4TY2XBA06WRABWYM5AYV?linkCode=ml1&tag=paigeharbison-20

And by all means, RUN to Instagram and follow Paige to see her hilarious 30 second Hallmark movie spoofs! Danica McKellar does!

https://www.instagram.com/pharbeaux

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"When Harry Met Sally"

Wed, 25 Sep 2024 23:47:04 GMT

Yessss, it's FALL! That means it's time for Hallmark, Nora Ephron, and Nancy Meyers! Or if you're Beth, Norepinephrine. Please like, subscribe, share with a friend, and give us five stars!!!!

Join Patreon for ad-free, and check out our instagram for our limited DON'T F*CK WITH MR ZERO shirt!

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Hallmark Movie - "A Very Vermont Christmas"

Thu, 25 Jul 2024 20:30:51 GMT

This was a very pretty movie. The idea was good. But it was s l o w. Not much of a bang to go out of Christmas in July on, but maybe they're saving their best stuff for the real holiday season!

A point of clarification regarding our brief chat on Marcus Rosner. Obviously he's handsome. Beth just finds him more appealing when he's having fun with that as Mr. Wrong. Why he's in 2 of the 5 Christmas in July movies remains puzzling however.

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Hallmark Movie - "Rescuing Christmas"

Sat, 20 Jul 2024 01:54:11 GMT

We take a few detours, as usual, but we really liked this movie overall! Hallmark has made a couple of supernatural/speculative clunkers but overall this is something they usually have a lot of fun with. Rachel Leigh Cooke displayed her excellent comic timing, and Sam Page's character, Sam, was refreshingly real and smart. The story was created by Jim Head, who has been behind several good ones, including Beth's own SHOE ADDICT'S CHRISTMAS. All in all a great couple of hours.

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Hallmark Movie - "Three Wise Men and a Baby"

Sun, 14 Jul 2024 19:09:15 GMT

"Okay, Dungeons and Dragons", "Okay, Pet Detective." This movie is chock full of hilarious lines and asides that elevate it way above most of the offerings we've been seeing lately. We don't usually know the names of the lead actors unless we've seen them a lot and either love or hate them. In this case we can confidently say Andrew Walker, Paul Campbell, and Tyler Hynes (the love of Beth's Hallmark life), are absolute perfection. Three hot, hilarious men with chemistry galore. Watch this movie. Watch the sequel. Beg for more. This is Hallmark perfection.

Also. Writers matter. Who writes the movie matters. If you love a movie on Hallmark (or anywhere) it's worth looking up their whole library. In this case, this delight was written by Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad, who also penned the pretty hilarious Christmas by Starlight. We need more of this! There are smart, funny, innovative writers out here, all over. Millions. Hallmark, please stop padding the schedule with boring fluff with plot holes that could serve as train tunnels. Hire some fresh thinkers! Or just have Kimberly and Paul write everything. That would work too.

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Netflix - "A Family Affair"

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 05:19:59 GMT

This is a good Bad Movie. It's not trying to be world-changing, it's just fun. But we can't pretend the leads don't each look very different than how we're used to seeing them. But they're both excellent actors and Zac in particular has perfect comic timing. But the shining star of this one is Joey King. The world needs more Joey King! All in all, this is a fun romp.

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Hallmark Movie - "Falling Like Snowflakes"

Wed, 10 Jul 2024 00:28:01 GMT

There are some real treat in this episode - text dings, dogs barking, squeaky toy activity, and occasionally Beth confirms a movie fact with Adam, who nods wordlessly and therefore makes her sound like a crazy person! But it was super fun to get back to Christmas episodes, even if this was the sunniest movie Hallmark ever filmed.

Remember to like, download, subscribe, tell your friends, and check us out on Patreon! We'll be back with more tomorrow!

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Group Chat - "Rodent Men"

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 00:53:06 GMT

Are you attracted to Rodent Men? Are they the new Hot? Will Rodent Women be in style soon? (Don't hold your breath) Maybe the world is finally getting sick of Instagram Face and we all just want to see real people. Here's hoping!

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Hallmark Movie - "Savoring Paris"

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 20:10:37 GMT

We loved this movie! Yes, we had a LOT of detours, but with a movie this good we just didn't have that many notes. If you haven't seen it yet, make yourself a little plate of cheese (make sure it reaches room temp before eating) and enjoy!

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Disney Plus movie - "Teen Beach Movie"

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 18:11:28 GMT

You know how sometimes there are two actors that you consistently get mixed up? For Beth those actors are Treat Williams and Barry Bostwick. So, no, Barry wasn’t on When Calls the Heart and he isn’t dead. Treat Williams was on Chesapeake Shores and, sadly, he is no longer with us. We’re letting you know this right up front so you don’t lose your mind sitting through the whole show screaming, “That was Treat Williams!” at your device.

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Netflix Movie - "Mother of the Bride"

Fri, 24 May 2024 18:11:50 GMT

Brooke Shields is back on Netflix, in another movie with delicious scenery. And we don't just mean Benjamin Bratt, who is most definitely looking excellent - but Thailand is on dreamy display here. And if you love the environment and cinematography over good writing and acting, this might be exactly the movie for you!

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Hallmark Movie - Puppies Everything

Thu, 23 May 2024 21:39:06 GMT

We'll tell you right up front - there aren't enough puppies in this movie. And if you're already familiar with Milk Bones, you won't be bowled over by our heroine's invention. Nevertheless, this was a cute movie, if not really that good. Can't wait for Christmas in July!

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Amazon Prime Movie - "The Idea of You" part two

Sat, 04 May 2024 19:52:15 GMT

Welcome to part two of our coverage of the movie Paige deemed "Ageism: the Musical."

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Amazon Prime Movie - "The Idea of You" part one

Sat, 04 May 2024 19:00:55 GMT

Lordy, lordy, look who's forty! What a shame she marked it with this terrible movie about falling for a toddler-man with whom she has nothing in common. Except the fact that they're both exceptionally wealthy, that is. Warning: no matter what they say, this movie is a musical.

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Hallmark Movie - Falling in Love in Niagara

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 19:39:32 GMT

Falling in love in Niagara…Falls. If you’re looking for romance and sizzling chemistry, look elsewhere. But if you want a tourism reel for Things to Do in Niagara, look no further! But Hallmark’s here to tell you, you’re gonna need a bitter tour guide. Thanks, Niagara Tourism Board.

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Hallmark Movie - Legend of the Lost Locket

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 17:05:11 GMT

We're back! Why didn't anyone come looking for us? We left an embroidered map to a trail of carved flowers pointing the way up the stairs and into the gift wrapping room, into the wall behind the smoked out clown portrait of Emmett Kelley!

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 11

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 01:22:21 GMT

We're back! Paige took a week off to go to SXSW where Richie's project won the "audience choice" award! HUGE deal! They also took some time to get Covid on the way back. Meanwhile, here on the 'cast, we break down the finale of Traitors. We enjoyed it but...question if the show is really as good as it could be. Maybe the rules should be tweaked a little to keep suspense. And maybe the challenges need to be better. Attention production: we have some ideas for you here. Call us!

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 12

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 00:32:44 GMT

Taryn joins us again for a look at the weddings that were and the weddings that weren't, and all the players involved. Was Johnny trying his hardest not to say "my wife" like Borat? Did some of the Mother of the Bride dresses (we're not saying who) come from Party City? And, hey, do you think Chelsea looks a little like Megan Fox? It's all here!

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 11

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 05:42:25 GMT

Emily joins us for a second episode and tells us that Raya isn't as great as it's reputed. Then on to Love is Blind: we watch the women pick wedding trips, have dates of varying amounts of romance (our vote: campfire). Is this show a game or is it an earnest attempt to find soul mates? If it's a game, Chelsea's doing a great job, what with two proposals and lots of drama. Would it be more interesting if there were date blocks and other game maneuvers? Let's discuss.

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 10

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 16:00:13 GMT

Jeramey's mom knows what she has wrought. Chelsea and Jimmy continue to fight, making the rest of us uncomfy even though Chelsea simply calls it a "hiccup." Johnny and Amy are doing great, he asks for her hand in marriage and her father consents. No surprises there. AD's mom distributes some wisdom, making us wish she could go talk to some people from our lives. And then there is a party where all the Pod People get together, including The Unchosen. Like MacKenzie, I guess. I don't know who she is but her name comes up as a shit-stirrer more than once and then she shows up for the party. Good times!

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 10

Sun, 03 Mar 2024 16:00:47 GMT

It's almost over! We say goodbye to Phaedra in what was called "a shocking twist" online but which was visible ten miles away. Somehow Sandra continues to lurch through unnoticed and no one is paying attention to Trishelle, even though she's been right a LOT at this point. And she's pissed.

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 9

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 19:39:06 GMT

It’s Hometown Visit Week here on The Bach- I mean, Love is Blind, and it’s every bit as awkward as you might hope. Couples snipe in front of friends and family and there is a general feeling of “this isn’t gonna work” brewing among everyone but Johnny and Amy. Yet. Who knows what the future holds for them?

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 8

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 21:19:30 GMT

The day you’ve been waiting for is finally here: we talk caftans and flowy clothes. Oh yeah, and episode 8 of Love is Blind, where Jimmy is a dick about Chelsea’s roommate, who seems like a really nice person. He also stalks Jessica’s Instagram. Kenneth is addicted to his phone and apparently unashamed of that. Brittany deserves SO much better. Also, there’s a big breakup!

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 7

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 03:14:46 GMT

Bean Dip. WTF?

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 9

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 05:41:57 GMT

We begin today with a lesson in international vocational opportunities, specifically Polish Wood Hookers. After mentally filing that, we move on to The Traitors, where Parvati is still gone. Alas. Kate is recruited to replace her and OF COURSE she accepts. Kate and Phaedra are a delightfully irreverent pair but that might be in danger as we end the episode at the round table with a tied vote between Phaedra and Peter. One vote remains: MJ’s. Who will remain??

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 6

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 05:14:32 GMT

Well, well, well, true colors are already beginning to show. We're in the Dominican Republic and Laura wants Jeramey to slap AD's boobs and call it "bean dip" because it will be hilarious. Everyone disagrees. Looks like things are about to get good.

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 5

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 04:59:34 GMT

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 4

Sun, 25 Feb 2024 19:51:10 GMT

In this episode, Paige and Beth discuss episode 4 of season 6 Love is Blind--these episodes are getting WILD

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Hallmark Movie - An American in Austen

Thu, 22 Feb 2024 01:32:26 GMT

Beth declares this the best Hallmark movie ever, but Paige wants more stakes and story. Everyone agrees Jane and the scenery are beautiful. Everyone also agrees that it's weird that Jane Austen named a character "Jane." Not even the main character. All in all, a stellar movie. Also, Paige still doesn't have Global Entry.

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 3 - feat. Sarah Mitchell!

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 21:30:46 GMT

JIMMY. LADY. LEGS.

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 2- feat. Sarah Mitchell!

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 22:44:53 GMT

Guest Sarah joins us for a deep dive into episode 2, much of which Beth already discussed on the episode one coverage because they blur. But some things on this episode were clear: Matthew is a horrible, horrible person and “all of America” is NOT on his side; whoever ends up with Jimmy is going to be disappointed; and thick garlands of false lashes flatter no one.

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Reality Check - Love is Blind (S6, Netflix) - Episode 1- feat. Richie Costales!

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 05:35:05 GMT

Love may or may not be blind, but it’s definitely dumb. The Mad Matthew roller coaster is a wild ride. Chelsea doesn’t look like Megan Fox and shouldn’t tell a (literally) blind date that because he can ONLY be disappointed. We’re rooting for Jessica’s happiness. And one of our favorite guests RICHIE is back with us!

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 8

Sat, 17 Feb 2024 04:29:49 GMT

In this episode: Knives Out indeed. Parvati is gone. Long live Parvati. Peter isn’t nearly as clever as he thinks he is. The challenge is visually confusing. Beth doesn’t enjoy dog treats. Dr. Will makes a welcome appearance. And Phaedra makes a poor choice in recruiting a new traitor. Word to the wise: Don’t waste “join me or die” on someone who is dying to join you.

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Hallmark Movie - "Love and Jane"

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 04:24:32 GMT

In LOVE AND JANE we take a delightful stroll down a Boston(ish) street, into a world of warm shops, gleaming wood, books, ghosts, and meek but nice lil storylines. Oh, and romance. And a fabulous nameless best friend with her own excellent storyline. What a romp! An absolute winner. Beth, on the other hand, has realized she is a wizened old woman deep inside. Also? It was Timmy.

(IT WAS NOT)

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 7

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 23:16:01 GMT

In this episode, Paige doesn’t know what pilgrims are, Beth is wrong about almost everything else, everyone hates Peter’s Pocket Pals, and we wonder does Phaedra deserve an Academy Award or a Razzie?

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Hallmark Movie - "Paging Mr. Darcy"

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 18:07:50 GMT

Some program notes: we are not obsessed with Paul Campbell, he need not contact the authorities. We are not anti-LARPer or judgmental of people who enjoy cosplaying. We can't help but talk a little Vanderpump, we touch on vintage 90 Day Fiance. Also, Hallmark’s movie this week was about some Cosplayers at a conference and the movie completely lacked the charm of Paul Campbell and the magic of Disney. Paging Mr. Kemp: you deserved better.

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 6

Sat, 03 Feb 2024 02:18:13 GMT

Spoilers contained in this episode! About this episode! Watch The Traitors every Thursday on Peacock!

In this episode Paige gives Beth a mean compliment, they kick Dan Gheesling while he’s down and leave Pilot Pete’s hand without the high five he’s expecting for “trapping” a traitor because he just got lucky. There’s also a little tentative excitement about Hallmark’s “Loveuary” movie offerings – not a golf club in sight! *so far

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Hallmark Movie - "Romance with a Twist"

Wed, 31 Jan 2024 09:23:34 GMT

MY GOD DID WE HATE THIS MOVIE

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 5

Sun, 28 Jan 2024 20:07:06 GMT

We tease another upcoming Patreon Episode, chat theories, and talk for way too long about true crime podcasts!

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Hallmark Movie - "Betty's Bad Luck in Love"

Thu, 25 Jan 2024 06:49:39 GMT

or..."OR: the most self-centered woman in the world enjoys a week being the most self-centered woman in the world"--hey, we liked this one! It's worth a watch, it's pretty cute and not standard dullmark fare.

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 4

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 07:38:06 GMT

Or...Drama Club Survivor. They left us on a cliffhanger last week, and now we find out who Parvati killed!! Also, we discuss Beth's CRAZY Nextdoor community.

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 3

Sat, 20 Jan 2024 22:20:57 GMT

The best friends cover episode 3 of the wonderful show The Traitors on Peacock! Spoilers for Episodes 1 - 3

Baguette Bag

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) - Episode 2

Sat, 20 Jan 2024 19:32:31 GMT

The best friends cover episode 2 of the wonderful show The Traitors on Peacock! Spoilers for Episodes 1 & 2

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Reality Check - The Traitors (S2, Peacock) Episode 1

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 01:20:05 GMT

YESSS, our coverage of The Traitors on Peacock has begun. Paige is obsessed, Beth is reserving judgment because she's insane.

Three episodes of The Traitors Season 2 are out on Peacock, but this episode is only about Episode 1! There are SPOILERS for episode 1, but not for episodes 2 & 3.

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Hallmark Movie - "A Scottish Love Scheme"

Wed, 17 Jan 2024 06:02:42 GMT

or...A Couple and Their Moms. Two people have moms, one sick, one not, and are in Scotland when they fall in boring love. Paige had the giggles in this one which is insane because the movie is NOT delightful.

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Hallmark Movie - "Love on the Right Course"

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 05:14:47 GMT

or...."Caddy Issues." WE'RE BACK! Yeah, we weren't gone long. And neither was Hallmark! We all took a well-deserved break and now it's time for the rest of our lives watching Hallmark movies. In this one, a woman goes home to Budapest because golf.

Watch or don't watch verdict: Budapest is pretty, if you want to watch, put it on while you do your nails or prep dinner, but not really.

We're so glad to be back though! We missed you!

Please please share us on Insta, Threads, the artist formerly known as Twitter--that's how everyone hears about things really, and it would be so helpful!! Also rate us 5 stars! Okay bye!

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The Besties! - Part Two

Sun, 07 Jan 2024 04:44:35 GMT

Part Two - THIS IS AN ALL NEW EPISODE! NOT A CLIP SHOW! There's nothing we hate more (except maybe Letters to Santa) than a clip show. It has NEVER BEEN GOOD. So in this we give out fake awards to the best and worst of 2023's Countdown to Christmas! You voted, we voted, the die has been cast.

Track: "Drum Roll"

Music provided by https://slip.stream

Free Download / Stream: https://get.slip.stream/1CeWc8

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The Besties! - Part One

Sun, 07 Jan 2024 04:40:04 GMT

Part One - THIS IS AN ALL NEW EPISODE! NOT A CLIP SHOW! There's nothing we hate more (except maybe Letters to Santa) than a clip show. It has NEVER BEEN GOOD. So in this we give out fake awards to the best and worst of 2023's Countdown to Christmas! You voted, we voted, the die has been cast.

Track: "Drum Roll"

Music provided by https://slip.stream

Free Download / Stream: https://get.slip.stream/1CeWc8

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Holiday Classic - "Love Actually" - feat. Sarah Mitchell PART TWO

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 01:07:59 GMT

or...Actually Just Love Actually. Our season finale!!!! PART TWO Well, except for the Besties, which we will do after the New Year when we're all a little bored and need something to do.

Our guest for this one is the wonderful, inimitable Sarah Mitchell. You got your celebrities, now it's time for a nameless best friend, because that is the heart of this show! You might remember her from our My Norwegian Holiday episode, and if you don't then go back and listen! The movie, of course, needs no introduction, as it is Love Actually. And it's a two parter! Because MUCH is needed to be said here.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU! We hope it's a good one!

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Holiday Classic - "Love Actually" - feat. Sarah Mitchell! PART ONE

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 21:18:59 GMT

or...Actually Just Love Actually. Our season finale!!!! PART ONE!

Well, except for the Besties, which we will do after the New Year when we're all a little bored and need something to do.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU! We hope it's a good one!

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Hallmark Classic - "Hats Off to Christmas!" feat. Jen Lancaster! PART TWO

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 06:13:39 GMT

Or...."Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-Hat" -- PART TWO!"

Man, oh, man. If you know this movie, you know it. If you don't, you are in for QUITE a film. For one thing, absolutely watch it. They truly do not make them like this anymore. They just don't. This quality is unmatched. It's so bad in the best way. It has it all. It has Lizzie McGuire's sister in 2013 dressed like she's in 2004 playing a 26 year old former teen mom who acts like a middle aged woman, it has a wheelchair-bound child whose father died in a car wreck who wants nothing more than to drive fast in cars who miraculously walks by the end because his paralysis was psychosomatic, it's got patient zero, it's got zero chemistry, and most of all, it has a year round hat shop that gets saved by the brilliant business decision of opening MORE hat shops. Also this is a halloween movie and a Christmas movie but thanksgiving is completely omitted.

It is insane.

And we were so lucky to have on the brilliant Jen Lancaster!!! You've probably read her work, but if you haven't, you've read someone inspired by her. She's fabulous and she was REAL fired up. Get your wine ready for this one.

Find Jen at Jennsylvania.com or on Instagram and pick up her new book, House Moms! You can also find her personal Hallmark bingo cards here.

Also she mentioned the podcast Hello From the Magic Tavern, and Paige mentioned the episode of MST3K about the movie just called Santa Claus. It's perfect. Also love Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. MST3K is on Tubi for anyone who wants to give them a watch!

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Hallmark Classic - "Hats Off to Christmas" - feat. Jen Lancaster PART ONE

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 01:18:46 GMT

Or...."Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-Hat -- PART ONE!"

It is insane.

Find Jen at Jennsylvania.com or on Instagram and pick up her new book, House Moms! You can also find her personal Hallmark bingo cards here.

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Holiday Classic - "The Holiday" - feat. James Tupper!

Sat, 23 Dec 2023 05:12:38 GMT

OMG YOU GUYS IT'S NATE FROM BIG LITTLE LIES! Also it's James Tupper! He was our fifteenth choice, but since he was available we let him come on because we're REALLY nice.

Just kiddddinggg, we love James and we're so glad he could come on! He's been in Hallmark movies, he's been on TV, he's been in other movies, he's been in everything!! And mostly, he's lived under a rock, because he had never seen The Holiday. We know. It's insane. But we got him to watch, and it was really fun getting his professional take on the movie, but especially seeing someone see this movie for the first time!!!! This single guy has a cow in the backyard and The Holiday is his new favorite movie. You're welcome, Tups.

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Hallmark Movie - "Friends & Family Christmas"

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 20:48:13 GMT

"Christmas Blow Up" -- Just like how Paige has talked a lot about the film buffy movie Blow Up but has never seen it, we wish we had talked about this but never seen it! We are SO glad we made the choice to do extra (delightful) work and watch extra movies at the end of the season here because if this was the last episode of the year/season we would have SCREAMED. We could NEVER have left you on this note! This movie had like zero plot, and in fact, in retrospect we realized after editing the episode that the movie description did describe one of the characters as being new in town when in fact, she wasn't. So, it wasn't even. So this movie didn't even know what it was. We had higher hopes. You can skip it, but don't skip the episode!

And get REAL excited for the Christmas weekend episodes, because we have FAB guests and movies!!!!

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Hallmark Movie - "Sealed With a List"

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 08:28:47 GMT

or..."Glitter Succession"...well, we've learned the lesson ONCE AGAIN--don't watch these movies without snacks and/or wine in the cold light of day. Watch at night cozy with carbs and tannins! This one is good. Cute, good actors, good lil banter. Watch it. It's, you know, a Hallmark movie, but it's a little more than that. Beth liked it more than Paige did. But possibly only because Paige did it wrong.

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Hallmark Movie - "The Secret Gift of Christmas"

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 07:42:02 GMT

or...Root Ball's Drag Race...a secret shopper insists that a man needs a tweed coat until he lets her kiss him.

This one was not great, gang. Nottttt great. But lots of red coats! Not like American Revolution level, but close. This one posed so many questions. Why would a man like him need a personal shopper? Why wouldn't he buy his daughter a christmas tree?? Why wouldn't he get his daughter a present at all, much less an age appropriate one? Why do they keep putting us through christmas karaoke?

You don't have to watch this one. But you DO have to listen to the episode. Also, this man is almost too handsome.

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Fireside Chat - "The Holiday Road Well Traveled"

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 00:54:57 GMT

Or...A Boring Movie With an Interesting Scandal! Welcome to our first Fireside Chat! The girls sit down to talk about a scandal in the Hallmark world. Well, in the real world, and one that Hallmark apparently isn't going to acknowledge.

For those of you who are only here for the first time, on this podcast, we cover insipid delights like Hallmark movies, rom-coms, Christmas Specials, reality TV, and anything ridiculous and fun we feel like covering. Our first order of business was covering the 2023 Countdown to Christmas, and that included a movie called "HOLIDAY ROAD." In our episode we well-established that the movie itself was pretty meh, but we were totally bewildered by the fact that it said "inspired by true events," but then didn't say what the original source material was. For once, we even researched.

Then, lo and behold, it turns out that Alanah Story had her story totally fecking ripped off and Hallmark didn't compensate her at all! Which is ridiculous. We're LIVID.

The article Beth finally found on the true story.

Alanah's Instagram.

Alanah's TikTok

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Hallmark Movie - "Round and Round"

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 00:06:10 GMT

or "500 Days of Hanukkah" -- IT'S A GOOD ONE. IT'S. A. DAMN. GOOD. ONE.

Paige won't say it with Jack in the room, but she thinks it's might be just as good if not better than Santa Summit. Mmmmmm maybe not better. But maybe? Ugh hard to say. It's on par, no question. This movie is hilarious. Watch before you listen to the episode. It's a real movie. Nuff said.

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Hallmark Movie - “CHRISTMAS ON CHERRY LANE redeaux”

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 20:49:58 GMT

Inception. Memento. Das Boot. Tenet. Christmas on Cherry Lane.

Googles: Christmas on Cherry Lane Explained

Look you guys, it turns out we were wrong about who an ENTIRE character was supposed to be in this movie. So we are amending what we said there with a mini episode! But it’s not like we magically 🪄loved it more! Anyway come on down for some extra chat if you want! We also discuss White Christmas for a few minutes!

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas on Cherry Lane"

Wed, 13 Dec 2023 05:27:33 GMT

"Pepper Grindr" -- We don't know whether to recommend staying stone cold sober for this one or going balls to the wall. It's like Tenet levels of confusing, or maybe our brains are just completely fried, you tell us--because surely we're the only ones out here actually watching THE ENTIRE countdown to christmas, right?!?!?

To be honest, we are wrong about the entire, ENTIRE Erin Cahill/Catherine Bell thing and we'll take some responsibility for that but not ALL OF IT.

We think this one had some great writing, some REALLY good characters, and some stuff that just...I mean...what?

Also this is the last episode before Round and Round which is SUCH A GOOD MOVIE so GET EXCITED! (not sarcasm! for real!)

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Hallmark Movie - "Magic in Mistletoe" - feat. Taryn Erminio!

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 08:15:24 GMT

or "Not a Lot of Kissing for a Movie About Mistletoe"... this one has another nameless best friend on it! This time it's Taryn, someone Paige has a matching tattoo with (and it's the name of another, different, better movie, but that's not why they have them), Beth claims to have 'baby brain' after 23 years, and everyone says they didn't hate this movie and then spends an entire hour sounding a lot like they didn't like it one bit!

We think this one is worth watching, but take that with an ENORMOUS three person shrug.

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Hallmark Movie - "A Biltmore Christmas" - feat. Richie Costales!

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 18:37:33 GMT

or..."It's Not Always Easy to Be a Smithsonian"-- Well, this gang is a bunch of total suckers for old Hollywood. We do live in L.A. and Palm Springs after all. And we also fall for a movie with a good budget. This one had that--or at least was HELLA sponsored by THE BILTMORE ESTATE! DID WE MENTION THE BILMORE ESTATE?! Which Beth hasn't been to, Richie has been to, Paige has been outside of, but which her grandmother deemed too expensive so instead they went to the Grove Park Inn. So it was nice to spend time there. We also all love a good time travel! So if you haven't watched this one, we recommend it!

This one still didn't have enough seals for Richie. If you don't get that reference you may have missed our episode on "Mystic Christmas...."

Speaking of unsolicited recommendations, we also made some recommendations in this episode. Mostly for time travel romance novels, including A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux, Rhapsody in Time by Judith O'Brien, Green Darkness by Anne Seton, and if you've been meaning to get around to read the 800 page behemoth that is Outlander here's your reminder. These are also wonderful escapist holiday present ideas! Richie also recommended Terminator. Less romantic but you know.

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas With a Kiss"

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 03:31:08 GMT

or...“What? Don’t repeat it, I heard you.”-- WE SWEAR, we actually WANT to like these movies. We know it sounds hard to believe. But we're really trying here.

We talk messenger bags (with disdain), Shirley Temples, and yearn for deep fried food.

We also mention one of Beth's books, Every Time You Go Away, which has the setting we wish this one had. On account of the red flags, we also mention Blythe Roberson's book, How to Date Men When You Hate Men.

Please keep sharing, rating, downloading! It makes such a difference! Truly!!!! Share us on instagram! Tell your nameless best friends about us!

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Hallmark Movie - "Our Christmas Mural" feat. Keeley Bumford aka Dresage!

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 06:44:57 GMT

or..."Nightmare in Christmas Alley."--- Sigh. If it weren't for the guest, we'd truly say not to listen to this one. Honestly, we'd tell you to just pretend this never happened. We had to watch it, we had to talk about it, we had to record it, we had to do all of that, because of a commITMENT we made it to YOU. Because of an arbitrary commitment we made to all three of our listeners that we would watch all six hundred --sorry, THIRTY ONE-- movies for the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas. This movie is one of those movies. And we watched it.

And Keeley had a song in it! It was truly the best part of the movie! The best song of the season, even, and that includes the N*SYNC song in Holiday Hotline.

You can follow her on Instagram here!

You can see her VERY cool music video for Dancing on My Grave that Richie directed and that Paige did the set design for here!

You can find her new EP on Spotify here and on Apple Music here!

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Hallmark Movie - "A Not So Royal Christmas " - feat. Emily Jean!

Wed, 06 Dec 2023 04:22:40 GMT

or...""A Stupid Fight Amongst Liars"-- on this one, we have a REAL best friend in the house! The girls have Emily over! Paige's very own Nameless Best Friend. They've been friends so long they used to play pretend together, learned to be boy crazy together, and yet still Paige didn't know her well enough to know that the reason they watched Lord of the Rings so many times was really because of Gimli all along.

You just never know. You just. Never. Know.

Anyway, in this one, Paige and Beth LOVE the movie and their guest HATED it which is another first for NBFFs! Emily is WRONG about this one, it stars THOMAS of Merry Scottish Christmas fame (aka, Will Kemp) and it's delightful if...you know. Flawed.

Thanks for sharing and downloading and rating!!!! Keep doing it!!!

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Hallmark Movie - "My Norwegian Holiday" - feat. Sarah Mitchell!

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 02:29:42 GMT

or...."Grandma Got Run Over By a Troll Subplot."-- It's hard to believe "Letters to Santa" was even on the same channel as this. You know what I'm saying? We have a special guest on this one! The girls have Sarah over to sip cocktails and talk about this cozy lil movie. The Ted Lasso comparisons just WILL. NOT. STOP. So again, just a reminder, that if you're a fan of Ted Lasso, be aware or beware that next week on Patreon we'll be releasing a special episode covering Hannah Waddingdam's Christmas Special on Apple Plus! Not only that, but our special guest will be Richie! Beth, Paige, and Richie will be recording the episode after heading to a night of comedy at the Largo in LA where Brett Goldstein (Roy Kent himself) will be in attendance, so hopefully we'll have some gravelly voiced gossip from that too!

Paige thinks the grandma is haunted, Beth and Sarah think she's lovely, everyone agrees there's not enough snow, and we HIGHLY recommend you watch this one at night with a glass of wine or a cup of tea, and some sort of highly indulgent snack.

Thank you so much for sharing, downloading, and telling all your nameless best friends about us IRL and on the internets, it makes such a difference! We love you!

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas in Notting Hill"

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 01:44:03 GMT

or..."Bend it Like Bethlehem" or also "The Newbourne King," man, Paige was really on FIRE coming up with alternate titles for this one. Here's one Beth hated and Paige loved! A first for Nameless Best Friends, but not a first in life. In this one, the NBFFs discuss jiffypop hats (and they don't care), more inevitable Ted Lasso comparisons come up, and some dreamy imaginings of the eighties in London with trench coats and walkmen playing a-ha are wafted around.

If you're a fan of Ted Lasso, be aware or beware that next week on Patreon we'll be releasing a special episode covering Hannah Waddingdam's Christmas Special on Apple Plus! Not only that, but our special guest will be Richie! Beth, Paige, and Richie will be recording the episode after heading to a night of comedy at the Largo in LA where Brett Goldstein (Roy Kent himself) will be in attendance, so hopefully we'll have some gravelly voiced gossip from that too!

Thank you so much for sharing, downloading, and telling all your nameless best friends about us IRL and on the internets, it makes such a difference! We love you! We would give you five stars if we could!

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Hallmark Movie - "Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up!" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 04:31:27 GMT

or..."A Bad Case of the Jolly Johnsons" -- It's here! The sequel to Haul Out the Holly! We covered the original episode in a Patreon episode, so if you wanna catch up, cough up. But if not, it's okay, it's just a fun lil romp and you'll probably be able to keep up without our original quips.

In this one, Evergreen Lane is alight again, but some reality stars on the block again to drive Lacey Chabert MAD. It's HILARIOUS. We recommend you watch this one! For real!

Please keep rating us, sharing us, downloading us, telling your nameless best friends about us, and posting about us on Instagram and everywhere else! It makes SUCH a difference. And to our Patrons--oh my gosh. What superstars you are! <3

Follow Beth! Follow Paige!

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Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Road"

Sat, 02 Dec 2023 05:07:02 GMT

or.... "Nobody Blow"

In this one, a bunch of people can't get to Denver but insist on going, and going together.

Ugh. In this we discuss Paige's brief but endless lifetime on Concourse C in the Atlanta airport, the wax figuring at MCO, and discuss Tragedy Anne's insurance fraud scam.

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Hallmark Movie - "Letters to Santa" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 08:17:07 GMT

or "18 USC Section 1702" -- Not to be all Cliff Claven about it, but um it's illegal to open someone else's mail...

So yeah, two brats gets a magical pen and a meddling grandmother uses lying to parent-trap two toxic people back together (for a while, they def break up after the movie ends).

In this one Paige goes full Fa La La Kent, we wonder where the puppy went, and of course, discuss mail law.

Follow Beth on Instagram!

Follow Jack on Instagram and listen to his music on Spotify and Apple Music!

Follow Paige on Instagram!

Things are heating up on Patreon, we're uploading recipes and gearing up to do special episodes soon, so get your coffers ready!

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Hallmark Movie - "Catch Me If You Claus" - feat. Allyson Rae!

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 04:44:14 GMT

or: "Cloudy with a Chance of Nepotism" -- This one is about a woman who wants to be an on-air reporter but instead, meets Santa's son.

In this one we are joined by chief meteorologist from NBC2, Allyson Rae! Also, she and Paige have been Nameless Best Friends for over a decade. She gives us her take on the Pig Diver journal, we agree that we'd like to party with the theater troupe in spite of the accents and dental work, and we rename the lead actor Luke McGarland.

Follow Allyson on Instagram!

Follow Beth on Instagram!

Follow Jack on Instagram and listen to his music on Spotify and Apple Music!

Follow Paige on Instagram!

Consider joining us over on Patreon where things are heating up--we're starting to upload some fun recipes and we're gearing up for super fun episodes. <3

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Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Hotline" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 05:38:06 GMT

or: "You'll Believe a Man Can Fry"

Well, well, well! This was a movie with many names, sponsored, we think, by the Nickname Organization (to donate, please send any and all donations to Venmo at @paigeharbison)

This is a movie about a "British" "chef" who works at a holiday hotline for people who cook their turkeys with the plastic on and then call other adults to ask if it's okay to do that. She falls in love with someone, and they have in common the fact that they are both lying about their names. But he hates that about her.

In this one, we discuss the correct chicken way to pronounce "MACABRE," we learn about Gazoo, and Jack plays the guitar for .8 seconds at the very end with EXTREME reluctance. "You'll Believe a Man Can Fry" was Jack's alt title which he got in the first record of the episode (yes we had to record this one TWICE) and forgot about in this one, so please appreciate his Superman reference.

Speaking of Jack, his new album is out! Check it out on Spotify and Apple Music! Every listen helps!

Here's the book of Beth's that we reference, Secrets of A Shoe Addict. It's a sequel, but you can read out of order if you want. Otherwise, here is the first one! And hey let's go totally out of order, here's the third one, a novella, which became a Hallmark movie!

And thank you so much for listening and sharing and downloading and rating us. It makes more of a difference than we ever knew when we were just listeners of podcasts. Tell all your nameless friends! Share on socials! Tell the worlllllld!

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Hallmark Movie - "A Merry Scottish Christmas" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Sun, 26 Nov 2023 18:24:35 GMT

or: Bagpipe Anastasia

THOMAS THOMAS THOMAS THOMAS THOMA--sorry.

Ahem.

Two estranged siblings can't decide if they wan't a free castle. Yeah, that's really what happens in this movie! We discuss Thomas, Fiveheads, medieval intrigue, and Paige gets a new hat made out of the outdoors.

Keep on rating us and downloading us and sharing us, it really makes a difference! Jack is starting to apply to restaurants and we're getting closer and closer to losing him, so please share as much as you can and join our patreon if it's in your budget! <3 Also listen to his new album which is out now on spotify and apple!

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Hallmark Movie - "Navigating Christmas" - feat. Jack Harbison! (UNCUT)

Sat, 25 Nov 2023 17:01:04 GMT

or, "Ok, Whippersnapper"

You know how when your sixteen year old doesn't get to go on a snowboarding trip and you don't have a passport you go ahead and book an Airbnb for a lighthouse where you have to work the entire time you're there? Well, so do the players of this particular melodrama.

This one is a long one, so buckle up! If you're traveling home from Thanksgiving, this one is perfect because it'll get you halfway home. We considered breaking it into two episodes, but figured you can simply pause it and not deal with extra ads.

In this one, we discuss the ill use of lamaze bellies, wolves, and the reminder that even the most boring couple you know has an origin story. FYI, Paige's stomach DID hurt and she really didn't think it would.

Jack's new album is finally out!! Download it and listen to it on Spotify here or on Apple Music here!

This reminded us of one of Beth's books, Every Time You Go Away, which you can find here!

And as usual, Paige is out there doing funny things on Insta. No one can make her stop.

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Hallmark Movie - "A Heidelberg Holiday" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 03:30:48 GMT

or "I Broke My Ornament 2: Adventures Of The Alliterative American"

In this one, a woman trusts a comedian at a shipping facility to ship her most prized worldly possessions across the world for a bargain price and then she goes to a beautiful place to wait for them to arrive broken. AKA, a foreign language film about an unwell woman.

In this one we discuss asking a flight attendant to por favor sit right next to los baños, we try to prove Beth wrong but it does't really work, and we discuss Chekov's Dog.

Thank you so much for rating and sharing and reviewing! We're gearing up for a biiig old Thanksgiving weekend, don't forget to subscribe and download and tell all your nameless family members about the podcast this weekend!!!! <3

Jack's new album drops ON thanksgiving! Follow him on Spotify now so you get first dibs on listening!

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas Island" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 00:38:16 GMT

or: "Captain Hot Cocoa & the Wetter Weather"

An awful rich family is stranded by a pilot, whom they blame for the bad weather, on an island around Christmastime. Love ensues.

Well, this is a movie with Belsnickel in it. A lobster death tree, a lot of food in actor's mouths (but not ours, don't fret), and we talk about the first note of the happy birthday song.

Speaking of songs, listen to jack sing some! Paige is on some too. His new album comes out soon, but you've never heard his old music, so that's new to you!

Our instagram is fun, come be a part of the discourse!

We're about to release our first Patreon! Get in on the inside jokes and join the club!

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Hallmark Movie - "Everything Christmas"- feat. Jack Harbison!

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 19:23:35 GMT

or "The Fellowship of the Seasonal Fling"

Plot: Two friends try to get to a town that celebrates Christmas all year long but on account of car trouble they fall in love with two losers instead.

In case you didn't like it when we liked the movies last week, NEVER FEAR. Ugh. Here we go. Paige had to turn down her mic on this one.

But we had fun as always!

Thanks so much for sharing and rating us 5 stars, please, keep doing it! We're starting to get some momentum! Let's keep it going!!! Share, share, share! Download!!

Thanks all!!

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Super Special Patreon Announcement! DON'T SKIP THIS!

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 16:42:38 GMT

I always skip the bonus material in the podcasts I listen to, but maybe I shouldn't because now I see that it actually MATTERSSSSSUH. Okay, so this is an announcement for our very first Patreon episode, and if you miss it then you might be out of the loop on an upcoming mainstream episode. Just sayin....

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Hallmark Movie - "The Santa Summit"

Sun, 12 Nov 2023 18:05:00 GMT

or: "The Harbisons Get Religion"

Speaking of Jack, find him on Spotify and follow him for his upcoming album here, or follow him on Instagram or both!

Read Beth's backlog for other great stories and follow her on instagram, read Paige's books too or follow her on Insta for some funny content!

Our insta!

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Hallmark Movie - "Never Been Chris'd" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Sat, 11 Nov 2023 18:18:09 GMT

OR: "The Real Family Was the Throuple We Made Along the Way"

EPISODE 8!!! Time to learn what it’s like when we actually LIKE one of these movies. I mean…we have notes but…this one was fun. But going to this high school sounds like a living nightmare.

Thank you all for listening, thank you so much for downloading and rating us 5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ It is actually starting to make a difference, and that’s really exciting. The more listeners we and ratings and downloads we have, the more we can do, so thank you so much and keep telling your nameless best friends about us!!

instagram

Jack's album is coming out in just a few weeks, so go over to Spotify and follow him there or on his instagram for updates so you can hear his new music or at LEAST hear Paige's new song on his album, amirite?

If you didn't find us through Paige's instagram, check it out for her one minute Hallmark spoofs!

And as always, check out Beth Harbison's book list for actually GOOD stories with plots and everything. She's a New York Times Bestseller you know!

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Hallmark Movie - "Flipping for Christmas" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 06:00:40 GMT

Or: "The Notebook 2: The Rise of the Video Cartoons"

Here's the trope here: two people inherit something and fall in love about it.

This one has it all! A snowball fight, a paint fight, a meet-hate, and a bunch of other things that made the Harrisons say WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!??!?!? and made Paige draw an actual family tree to make feeble sense of it all.

Thanks so much for all your listening and sharing--we're noticing and it's making a big difference already! Keep going! Share with your nameless best friends and nameless relatives and friends and employees and coworkers! And then rate and review us nicely and lovingly and with 5 stars. <3

Instagram

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Hallmark Movie - "Joyeux Noel" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Wed, 08 Nov 2023 04:31:36 GMT

or..."BONJER, CHOCLET, ; JHWYUUUU NOWELLLL "

this is NOT about the 2005 drama about the Christmas ceasefire in WW1

Here's the trope rundown for this one: a copywriter wants to be a 'real' reporter so she and a gruff co-worker go to a tiny village in France to uncover a romantic mystery and fall in love along the way. Includes a precocious child, lots of gnomes, a hotelier with a lawsuit in her future, and a literal sex symbol.

Please rate us five stars and review us and download the episodes and share with your friends! We're just getting our feet off the ground so every share IRL, every Insta story share, every five stars helps us more than you could possibly know!!!!

Patreon!

Our website!

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Hallmark Movie - "Christmas By Design" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Sat, 04 Nov 2023 21:45:08 GMT

or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Elfcapades

HOW did they say 'elfcapades' so many times with a straight face? Why are there so many mechanics and cars in these movies? Why does this woman hate loungewear so much? Is her landlord worse than Paige's? (no, Paige's is still worse)

Keep sharing this podcast with your nameless friends, moms, boyfriends, girlfriends, sisters, aunts, and everyone else! It means the world to us, and watching over thirty of these movies is no small feat, so we really appreciate the support. Don't forget to rate us (five stars of course)!

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Hallmark Movie - "Mystic Christmas" - feat. Richie Costales & Jack Harbison!

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 17:41:29 GMT

Everyone was talking about Barbie and Ken this year, but they SHOULD have been talking about Ken and Candace. Come on down and find out what a blanket means in a Hallmark movie, what Victorian Adrian Grenier was doing in this film, and meet our very first guest, filmmaker and Hollywood mover and shaker, Richie Costales!!

Listen to Jack's music and save his artist page so you're ready for his upcoming album!

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Hallmark Movie - "Under the Christmas Sky" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 04:33:39 GMT

I hate when I get stuff in my eye and can't go to space to touch the sun.

please share and download! the more active listeners we have, the more power to do this that we have. <3

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Hallmark Movie - "Checkin' it Twice" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 07:00:50 GMT

"Checkin' it Twice" or "Gingerbread Lasso & the Real Estate Agent Who's Not at Work Right Now"

Join the gang as we dive into this sporty book romance that has nothing to do with Christmas, even though it is the beginning of the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas!

Please share with your friends, rate, subscribe, and download! :)

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Hallmark Movie - "Where Are You, Christmas?!" - feat. Jack Harbison!

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 17:21:52 GMT

Our first episode! Since we didn't say it in the episode, the rundown is this: Beth is the mother, Paige and Jack are her children. Beth and Paige are authors, Jack is a musician! Phew, that's out of the way.

In this episode, we watch "Where Are You, Christmas?" from Hallmark 2023's first weekend of Countdown to Christmas movies. Please, please, please don't forget to rate, subscribe, download--it's the only way we can afford to keep going. :) Thank you and happy early, early, early holidays!

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Nameless Best Friends Trailer

Sun, 29 Oct 2023 18:42:49 GMT

An intro to the gang! Hosts Paige and Beth are kept on track by producer Jack as we prepare to kick off the new podcast where we chit chat about Hallmark movies and other insipid delights. Please download this episode and subscribe, apparently it matters!

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NAMELESS BEST FRIENDS

"The Grinch" (1966) feat. Harriet Kemsley!!!!!!

Mariah Carey Presents: "A Christmas Melody" feat. Ronald Young Jr!

Netflix Movie: "Merry Little Ex-Mas"

HOLIDAY RERUN! "The Santa Summit"

"White Christmas" feat. Stephanie Sy! (OF SANTA SUMMIT!!!!!!)

Holiday Season Kickoff - “Serendipity” feat. Sophie Cousens!

ANNUAL HOLIDAY RERUN - The Christmas Prince **AD-FREE!**

ANNUAL HOLIDAY RERUN - The Princess Switch **AD-FREE**

HALLOWEEN MOVIE! - Interview With a Vampire (or Brokeback Crypt) feat. the return of Jack! + Flower Person

A Royal Montana Christmas feat. Elissa Sussman!

"Practical Magic" feat. Blythe Roberson!

America the Beautiful?: One Woman in a Borrowed Prius on the Road Most Travelled

"You've Got Mail" feat. Joss Richard!

SEASON PREMIERE! Adventures in Love and Birding - Hallmark Movie

RERUN - "When Harry Met Sally"

HANUKKAH IN JULY! Hallmark Movie - Leah's Perfect Gift

Christmas in July! Hallmark Movie - "Three Wiser Men and a Baby"

"Bridget Jones's Diary" feat. Mackenzie Barmen!

Hallmark Movie - "Haul Out the Holly" (2022)

"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" feat. Sophie Cousens

"The Parent Trap" 1998 - feat. Hannah Orenstein!

"Valentine's Day" (2010) PT II

"Valentine's Day" (2010) PT I

Holiday Cringe Classic - Kirk Cameron Presents: Saving Christmas - feat. Jen Lancaster & Fletch! (from the Patreon vault!)

Disney Movie - "The Ultimate Christmas Present" - From the Patreon Vault!

Hallmark Movie - "Hanukkah on the Rocks"

Netflix Movie - "The Christmas Prince" - From the Patreon Vault!

Netflix Movie - The Princess Switch (from the Patreon Vault)

Hallmark Movie - "Sugarplummed"

Hallmark Movie - "Private Princess Christmas"

Netflix Movie - "Our Little Secret" - feat. Sarah Mitchell!

Hallmark Movies - Thanksgiving Palooza Part Three

Hallmark Movies - Thanksgiving Palooza Part Two

Hallmark Movies - Thanksgiving Palooza Part One

Hallmark Movie - Christmas on Call

Netflix Movie - "The Merry Gentlemen" Part Two

Netflix Movie - "The Merry Gentlemen" Part One

Hallmark Movie - "Confessions of a Christmas Letter"

Classic Movie - "Return to Oz" - feat. Laura Hankin!

Hallmark Movie - "Christmas with the Singhs"

Hallmark Movie - "Jingle Bell Run" Part Two - feat. Hallmark Snark!

Hallmark Movie - "Jingle Bell Run" Part One - feat. Hallmark Snark!

Netflix Movie - "Hot Frosty" Part Two - feat. Emily & June!

Netflix Movie - "Hot Frosty" Part One- feat. Emily & June!

Hallmark Movie - "Santa Tell Me"

Hallmark Movie - "Tis the Season to be Irish" Part Two - feat. Amy Shiels!

Hallmark Movie - "Tis the Season to be Irish" Part One - feat. Amy Shiels!

Hallmark Movie - "Trivia at St. Nick's" Part Two - feat. Sophia Benoit!

Hallmark Movie - "Trivia at St. Nick's" Part One - feat. Sophia Benoit!

Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Mismatch" Part Two

Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Mismatch" Part One

Hallmark Movie - "Our Christmas Story"

Hallmark Movie - "A Carol for Two"

Hallmark Movie - "5 Year Christmas Party"

Hallmark Movie - "Christmas Charade"

Hallmark Movie - "Operation Nutcracker"

Hallmark Movie - "Scouting for Christmas"

Hallmark Movie - "Holiday Crashers"

Hallmark Movie - "Twas the Date before Christmas"

Disney Plus movie - "Hocus Pocus" part 2

"Hocus Pocus" Part One - feat. Blythe Roberson!

Hallmark Movie - "Haunted Wedding"

Hallmark Movie - "Pumpkin Everything"

Hallmark COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS 2024

Hallmark Movie - "Autumn at Apple Hill"

Hallmark Movie - "The Real West"

"When Harry Met Sally"

Hallmark Movie - "A Very Vermont Christmas"

Hallmark Movie - "Rescuing Christmas"

Hallmark Movie - "Three Wise Men and a Baby"

Netflix - "A Family Affair"

Hallmark Movie - "Falling Like Snowflakes"

Group Chat - "Rodent Men"

Hallmark Movie - "Savoring Paris"

Disney Plus movie - "Teen Beach Movie"

Netflix Movie - "Mother of the Bride"

Hallmark Movie - Puppies Everything

Amazon Prime Movie - "The Idea of You" part two

Amazon Prime Movie - "The Idea of You" part one

ANNUAL HOLIDAY RERUN - The Christmas Prince AD-FREE!

ANNUAL HOLIDAY RERUN - The Princess Switch AD-FREE