In this episode of the Intentional Marriage Podcast, Cresta and Justin discuss the power of belonging in a marriage and how it serves as the foundation for a fulfilling relationship. They share personal experiences and insights, highlighting the importance of building mutual trust and transparency. Emphasising the significance of feeling a sense of belonging in a marriage and how it can positively impact the overall health and success of the relationship. They also encourage couples to invest in their marriage and seek resources, such as coaching, to improve their connection and create a thriving partnership.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The power of belonging in a marriage is significant and can greatly contribute to a strong and healthy relationship.
• Building mutual trust and transparency is essential in creating a sense of belonging in a marriage.
• Starting a gratitude journal can help couples appreciate and recognise the positive aspects of their spouse and their relationship.
• Taking time apart and engaging in activities outside of the marriage can actually strengthen the sense of belonging and appreciation for one another.
• Couples need to take ownership of their marriage and be willing to invest time, effort, and resources into improving it, rather than accepting the status quo.

BEST MOMENTS

"I've never felt like that in a relationship at all, not even close." 

"You've got to determine what anything is to you. I would do anything for my wife. What does that really mean to you?" 

"Be the leader in your family. Take the initiative. Don't make excuses for things being the way they are." 

"I would do anything for my wife. I'd do anything for my wife. That is awesome to be able to say." 

"We know where we want our marriage next year. We know where we want our marriage in five years. And we know that it's not going to get there by just coming home, plopping on the couch, flipping on that TV." 

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The importance of instilling discipline and doing the right thing for the right reasons: Derek attributes his strong sense of discipline and desire to do the right thing to his upbringing and the values instilled in him by his parents.

• The impact of consistent discipline and consequences: Derek mentions that being disciplined and facing consequences for his actions as a child helped shape his character and taught him the importance of taking responsibility for his actions.

• The value of setting goals and working hard: Derek's dedication and commitment to giving his best effort in football and other areas of his life demonstrate the importance of setting goals and working hard to achieve them.

• The influence of parental role models: Derek looks up to his father and credits him for being a positive influence in his life. He mentions that seeing his father deal with the consequences of not taking care of his back injury has influenced his own decision-making process.

• The uncertainty and excitement of the future: Derek expresses both excitement and uncertainty about his future plans, particularly regarding his decision to join the military and his career path. He acknowledges that his goals and aspirations may change over time, but he is focused on finding happiness and building a family.

BEST MOMENTS

"I just feel like that's weird. Like I wonder how I was raised to be like that." 

"You have to be a follower to be a good leader as well." 

"I think it'd be really cool to work for the NSA or like work inside the Pentagon or do some cool government job like that." 

"Personally, emotionally, I feel like if I just had a wife and kids, I'd be a happy family."

"I'm excited for you. I'm proud of you. And yeah, words just can't describe how proud I am of you." 

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Justin and Cresta are joined by special guest Nikki Gianni, an experienced coach and former military leader. They discuss the challenges and importance of effective leadership in various contexts, from corporate environments to entrepreneurial ventures. Nikki emphasises the need for leaders to genuinely want the role and to establish trust with their team members. They also explore the significance of accountability and setting clear expectations for employees. Through personal anecdotes and insights, the episode highlights the impact of strong leadership on organisational culture and success.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The lack of proper training and preparation for new leaders is a common issue. Many leaders are promoted based on their technical skills rather than their leadership abilities, which can lead to challenges in effectively managing and leading a team.

• Trust is a crucial element in leadership. Micromanaging employees can be detrimental to their performance and motivation. Leaders should trust their team members and empower them to do their jobs whilst providing guidance and support when needed.

• Accountability is often lacking in the workplace. Leaders should set clear expectations and hold employees accountable for their actions and performance. This includes addressing issues promptly and providing constructive feedback.

• Effective communication is essential for successful leadership. Leaders should clearly communicate expectations, changes, and goals to their team members. Regular check-ins and open dialogue can help foster a positive and productive work environment.

• Leading by example is important. Leaders should demonstrate the behaviours and values they expect from their team members. This includes being punctual, following through on commitments, and treating others with respect and fairness.

BEST MOMENTS

"You have to want to do it. That's the first step, right?"

"People micromanage because they're afraid people aren't going to do what they're supposed to do."

"You just have to be able to put your trust in other people and that will pay off exponentially if you are sincere."

"Accountability, what's that? That's like a whole series of conversations that we could have, right?"

"You can't just expect that somebody knows what you expect. You have to communicate it."

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. The importance of being present and involved in your children's lives: The podcast emphasizes the significance of being actively engaged in your children's activities and spending quality time with them. This can create lasting memories and strengthen the parent-child bond.
2. Balancing work and family life: The host shares his personal experience of struggling to balance his demanding job with his family responsibilities. This serves as a reminder to prioritize family time and consider the impact of work on family dynamics.
3. Setting boundaries and limits: The host mentions implementing rules and limits for his children, such as screen time restrictions. This teaches them the importance of self-discipline and helps them develop healthy habits.
4. Reflecting on past decisions: The host acknowledges that some of his decisions as a father may not have been ideal, particularly in terms of work-life balance. This highlights the importance of self-reflection and learning from past mistakes to improve as a parent.
5. The impact of parenting on children's future choices: The host discusses how his parenting style and values have influenced his son's decision-making process, particularly in terms of choosing a career that aligns with his desired family life. This emphasizes the role parents play in shaping their children's values and priorities.

BEST MOMENTS

"I don't want my picture taken. I don't want to be on video." 

"I'm trying to build a business and while yes there are some selfish implications in there, the end goal is not that. The end goal is to help out you and Derek and that is kind of the driving force behind it." 

"Every decision I made was a bad decision." - Justin reflecting on his struggles during his marriage.

"I paid more attention to my kids after this." 

"I guess just make sure you're involved in their life… make sure you're there for that because when they get older they remember that." 

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. The five pillars of a successful marriage discussed in the podcast are fatherhood, partnership, leadership, being a provider, and being a lover.
2. Being a good father involves not only loving and caring for your children but also providing discipline and guidance.
3. Being a good partner means being an equal in the relationship and actively supporting and serving your spouse.
4. Leadership in the household involves taking responsibility for making decisions and being a servant leader, putting the needs of your family first.
5. Being a provider means contributing financially to the family and continuously striving to improve your financial situation. Additionally, taking care of your physical health and appearance is important in being a lover to your spouse.

BEST MOMENTS

"If you're not having sex with your wife, this could be one of the reasons why they find fatherhood attractive."

"We are on the same team and we're fighting for the same goals."

"You are going to become the average of your five closest friends."

"The dad bod is not cool. Get the fat off your body. Get some muscle on you."

"Implementing these things is life-changing. The rewards are going to be so outrageous."

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• You have to be intentional. How easy would it be to neglect things by just coming home from work or from the hospital and going straight to bed because we’re tired? We neglect a lot of things – like the dishes or the vacuuming – but not each other or our marriage. Are we eating out more than we should right now or neglecting some things around us right now? Absolutely. But, as far as we and our relationship goes, we’re having to make sure that those things are staying intact, and while it doesn’t look the same as it did 6 months ago, the core is still there.
• It’s all about making the time to just be together and taking the little opportunities with your family, with your kids and make the most of them because you don’t know what life holds. As much as we want it, we’re not guaranteed tomorrow, we’re not guaranteed the next minutes so you’ve really got to take every opportunity and moment you have an just enjoy it.
• How have you been showing up in your marriage? Husbands, I’m specifically talking to you. If you do the things you know you’re supposed to do in your marriage to take care of your wife and be the leader you’re supposed to be in the marriage your marriage is going to go a lot better because, correct me if I’m wrong, your wife (most wives) is looking for a leader. She’s not looking for somebody who is desperate for her attention, or is needy and is lost like a puppy-dog without it. I want to be wanted not needed.
• Showing up takes work, effort, energy and thought initially to constantly show up. But after a while, like everything else, it becomes routine (but still intentional), and after a while it’s part of who you are and becomes naturally ingrained in you. Once it’s who you are you can do it with ease and it’s not work any more.

BEST MOMENTS

‘I don’t know if it’s the courage Cresta has, or the digging down deep to find it, but there’s something about it that makes her that much more attractive.’
‘Your last excuse was yesterday. Stop making excuses.’
‘I’m tired of being a strong, independent women – I didn’t that for too long before you – I’m sick of picking what I want for dinner.’
‘Part of the joy of marriage are the little differences between us and having fun with it.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Cresta is doing well. She had her first chemo session about a week ago which went as well as could be expected. She’s journaling her experience almost every day on Tik Tok @crestaburt. A couple of days ago she got a shot to stimulate bone marrow and we think that was what knocked it outta her for today’s recording.
• As a partner who has a spouse who is sick, it’s really important that you be there for them for support, especially when you’re dealing with medical stuff. Those of us who aren’t medical staff can really be at a loss on what to do and lean on the advice of the professionals. For men that can be hard because we like to take charge and be in charge.
• Be your advocate for your medical care. There’s a lot of people out there that don’t want to go the chemotherapy route because of the toxins, and that’s fine, but whatever route you go down whether it's holistic or modern medicine just be your advocate. 
• If you’re not staying on top of it, at the end of the day, you’re the one responsible, it’s your life, it’s your health, it’s your well-being that’s being messed with. The squeaky wheel gets oiled – be the squeaky wheel when it comes to your health and well-being. 

BEST MOMENTS
‘Just seeing her there helpless and knowing I can’t do anything for her really hit home and was probably the hardest time I’ve had through this process.’
‘If you have a spouse who is sick long-term, you’re going to have to plan the small things – like grocery store visits, washing the dishes, laundry – around their needs and to make sure they’re done without them having to worry about doing them.’
‘The end goal is getting through it together and being there for each other.’
‘We invest in our retirement, vehicles, homes, but how much do we invest in our marriage? Maybe a couple bucks here and there, but really, we should be investing in our marriage like we invest in other parts of our lives.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The challenges can start from before you even have kids, from the moment you start talking about the decision to have them, not have them, to how many you’re going to have. When my ex-wife and I started to have discussions about kids, we had a difference of opinion about how many we were going to have, not when we were going to have them. I wanted 5 (which is a lot!) and she wanted 2, so she said: “Let’s start with one”. Which is the best advice I can give anybody; start with one because you don’t know how much they’re going to change your life.
• People want to raise their kids similar to how they were raised, so there’s going to be a natural challenge where some parents will be naturally more easy on their kids, some will be harsher, more strict, disciplinarian and so there’s a natural tug-of-war going on within the parenting structure. As the kids grow little things like being able to ride down to the corner store to get a soda might be more than one parent might not want them to leave the house on their own. 
• The challenges start early and they really don’t end, even past them being grown. Once they’re graduating high school, what if your child wants to enlist in the military? One parent could be willing to sign and another not. It continues.
• Kids take time, effort, money, a lot of everything away from marriage. So date nights become harder to do because you may not have the time or money to do that, it’s a legitimate concern. So you have to start being creative and think about how you can have a date night on $5-10. You’ve got to learn to balance your marriage and parenting because the 15-20 years you’re not feeding your marriage while you’re raising your kids, is a long time to not feed something that could last another 40 years after the kids have left home. If Mom and Dad are happy and healthy the children will be happy and healthy.

BEST MOMENTS
‘Kids change your life in a good way and very drastically, but you don’t know what that change looks like for you.’
‘You’re pretty good about giving me whatever I want, if I’d wanted kids I’m pretty confident that’s what I would have had.’
‘We’re going to be freakin’ awesome grandparents.’
‘Sometimes I think it’s good to see their parents disagree, because that’s what real life is like, but it depends how they disagree. If it’s a conversation without any yelling, that’s a healthy way to show them how to handle conflict, especially if you show them how you come to a resolution.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• I guess you could call it a miracle, some would call it coincidence or happenstance, but in February I was having heart condition issues that I’d never had before. They did and echocardiogram (an ultrasound on the heart) and found a spot on my liver, so I was sent to have a CT scan to figure out what that was. Eventually we got results and found out the ‘spot’ was just a glitch on their machine but found a mess in my breast. I was then sent for a mammogram. I had a biopsy about a week later and we were told that it was late stage 2/early stage 3.
• Today we went back in to have a PET scan and, all things considered, got the best news we could have gotten: that’s it’s early stage 2A because it’s gone to the lymph node but had not metastasised outside of that.
• There are so many questions. You hear so much about cancer and about what people go through, and everybody has advice because everybody’s had somebody close to them go through it. One thing we’re learning early on is it’s good to be there for people for support, but just keep your mouth shut about other people’s experiences because everybody’s experiences are so different.
• Doctors are far more educated than we are. That’s not to say you don’t want to do your own education or maybe you have an alternative method that you want to try. I’d encourage everyone to take the lead in their own healthcare, but also listen to the advice of doctors.

BEST MOMENTS
‘You don’t ever want to talk to a cancer patient about somebody else that’s died. At some point I’m going to do a list of things you don’t say to a cancer patient!’
‘Somebody telling you their mother had it and they got through it real quick doesn’t take your fear away, it doesn’t ease your concerns, and everybody’s cancer is different, there are so many different possibilities and variables.’
‘Somebody said to me today: “It’s not your cancer, it’s cancer, and it’s your diagnosis not both of yours diagnosis.” So, Justin has no part in it. Justin gives her the benefit of the doubt that she made a bad job of saying what she was trying to say.’
‘We would encourage everybody to is to go get yourself checked out on a regular basis, annual physicals.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Just look at our political spectrum, whatever side you’re on there’s good people and bad people. So many people are letting their emotions dictate their responses to things. One of the things you really need to pay attention to in your marriage is not to get caught up in your emotions. That’s not to say emotions are bad, but we too often get caught up in our emotions.
• In marriage we get stuck in ruts, good, bad or otherwise and we become friends, roommates, “I love this person but I’m not in love with them anymore.” What they’re saying in reality is that they still love you, there are still feelings there, but there’s no longer that emotion high, that lust for desire or adventure, there’s not that spark that we get when relationships are new. If that’s something you’re feeling in your marriage it’s not a bad thing, it’s a good thing, because now you know there’s something you can go work on to rekindle that.
• Sometimes as men when we mess up our wives have a right to be angry with us and lash out at us. It’s our job to stay strong and realise that we’ve made mistakes. The same is true for wives if the wife is in the wrong. Don’t get upset if your spouse gets angry at you after you’re trying to repair this, that is a natural human reaction to you doing something wrong. If they’re showing some emotion they care about you and the relationship still, you may have hurt them or lost a little bit of trust but they care and you’ve got to let them go through that healing process. Sometimes that means being lashed out at.
• There are things you can do like go on date nights to repair some of the brokenness in the relationship. If you’re repairing a marriage you may not experience that physical intimacy as far as lovemaking is concerned, but you’ll get the emotional intimacy and you’ll start laying the framework to rebuilding. You need to get that emotional connection back.

BEST MOMENTS
‘You can’t be emotional and logical at the same time, your brain just doesn’t work that way.’
‘A marriage is in trouble if there’s zero emotion. When there’s zero reaction to anything, I don’t know that there’s a turning back.’
‘Be careful what you say, there should not be any “nuts” in “I love you”, it should be “I love you AND this is where my mind is”. The “but” says “I don’t love you”.’
‘One thing that I recommend people don’t say is: “I love you, but you need to calm down”! I was a 911 dispatcher and the words “calm down” it’s going to make it so much worse. Tell them they need to take a deep breath, but don’t tell them to calm down.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• According to research, for a happy, healthy marriage you should be responding to about 86% of your partner’s emotional calls. (Justin: “Bullshit! What kind of researcher is coming up with 86%?”) And unhealthy marriages – the ones that are right on the cusp of divorce – are only responding to 33%. (Justin: “How about more often than not? That seems like a more realistic measure that people can use.”)
• Probably more men than women need to keep in mind, just because your wife asks for a few minutes doesn’t mean she’s being needy or clingy. She just wants that quick connection to say: “How are you doing, how was your day?” Though men are more needy than women!
• No matter how bad I want to get something done, you come first. It lets you know that you’re the primary focus in my life and that whatever else I’ve got going on, I have the time to stop and say: “Hey, how are you?” and check in on your emotional needs.
• On the other side, as the one asking for an emotional need. Ask yourself: Is this ask realistic for them to do? Some people have jobs where they work away from home with no contact for weeks at a time or are unable to leave at a moment’s notice. You have to be realistic with your expectations of what your partner can do. 

BEST MOMENTS
‘More often than not you should be responding to your partner’s emotional needs.’
‘Even in times I would say you’re being ‘needy’, you’re needing something by definition.’
‘Being on Facetime or Zoom is nowhere near being face-to-face with a person.’
‘Sometimes you need to anticipate your spouse’s emotional needs, you should know your spouse well enough to know what’s coming, to an extent.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• This weekend Justin bought Cresta a Baby Yoda Lego set. Cresta had never built with Lego before, she’s got a decent collection of puzzles, 3D puzzles and Middle Earth models and had never done Lego because she knew, if she did, it would become excessive and expensive. On May 12th the new Zelda game dropped and Justin gotta play that.
• The last month has been really hectic and busy, just taking time out to veg, together, has been important for us. They may be separate activities but we’re not separate, we’re a foot away from each other. We literally didn’t do anything this weekend but build Lego and play Zelda. We feel rejuvenated and refreshed, as a couple you need to find the things that get you there.
• These things are good to do, but in moderation. I (Justin) tend to get consumed in things and it’s easy for that to start to take over and I start to neglect things. I (Cresta) get consumed in my husband and everything else gets neglected! I can get really into a puzzle and I think Lego could be dangerous! But, when things get all-consuming it can negatively affect your marriage.
• If you can incorporate your spouse into your hobbies, that’s even better, whether or not you’re taking part in each other’s hobbies or simply being interested in what the other person is doing and being in the same space while they do it (as long as you’re engaged as well).

BEST MOMENTS
‘So often we forget it’s the little things that are mindless that can be a lot of fun and actually help rejuvenate you.’
‘These things act as a distraction when you’ve got shit on your mind and you don’t want to think about it.’
‘So often we overlook the little things that reset us.’
‘You’ve got to find that couple of hours a day where you can do that.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• If you’ve got your shit together and there are no problems, you are just rockin’ and rollin’ in the marriage, but you still want to improve your marriage. Coaching will improve it whatever stage you’re at. If you’re struggling and both of you are on the same page and you really want to get things rockin’ and rollin’, then coaching is for you. Wherever you’re at on the spectrum, coaching will help you get better.
• Family of origin is basically the environment or culture you were raised in, it has nothing to do with genes or biology, it’s how you were raised and the people you were raised around and how that impacts your relationships. A good example is: There are a lot of families out there that when they have an argument their voices get really loud, it’s not out of anger or frustration it’s just the way they are, and there are other families that are very quiet. If two people from different types of families marry and in an argument one gets very vocal the other will retreat into herself. This can cause a lot of problems in a marriage. What can help is understanding where your spouse comes from and that’s the way they’re going to argue. That’s not to say that they can’t learn to change that behaviour.
• We still ask these questions to each other after years of being married and it’s still fun to hear the answers. Sometimes they’re the same but sometimes they change. Things change based on what you’ve experienced in life and it’s cool to find out how the answers have changed from when we were engaged to now we’re married and we can look at what’s changed.
• We’re going to train you and get you where you need to be, but at the end of the day for people to succeed in any type of coaching is for individuals to own it. You need to set your own individual goals then after the exercise you come together and put together those goals as a couple.

BEST MOMENTS
‘There’s always room for improvement.’
‘This course takes 3 days for you to go through on your own before calling us and having a coaching session. You’ll see some benefits right away.’
‘At the end of our course is not where we want you to stop.’
‘As open ended questions and be active in listening. That’s probably the biggest hindrance to couples having conversations. When you’re thinking of what you’re going to say next your attention has been divided.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• When you’re in the middle of something emotional you tend to say or do things that aren’t who you are naturally. They overreact a lot of times. Especially when you’re dealing with a partnership, one or the other can get emotional. Don’t say things in the moment because you want to reflect on what went well, what didn’t go well, and what are we going to work on or change next time? 
• In this thing called life there’s always going to be room to grow, room to change, room to evolve and I think it’s important for couples that have gone through something, even if it was a horrible experience, don’t look at it as a negative, what can we do different next time that’s going to make this more successful for our family, where did our family struggle and where can we look at next time to make things better?
• Those who are dealing with a blended family and you have to deal with your child’s mother/father, it’s important that you get along for the kids. It’s important that you can be adults together, and when your child wants a single party for graduation that you'd be able to give that to them. 
• We make so much stuff up in our minds about what things can be, what things are going to be, and really when you look at it, most people are ‘get along’ types of people just to get through events and that’s the proper perspective to have going into it.

BEST MOMENTS
‘If we could just keep emotions out of everything, everything would be better!’
‘There are always things that can be improved on.’
‘If I were to re-do the situation I would do everything the same because I think we learned a lot.’
"We all, as people in relationships, need to understand how you act when something puts me outside your comfort zone.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• What a lot of people don’t understand, and that I will communicate with my boys once they get married, is that we come second to them. A lot of parents don’t have that view, especially if they’re young and married. Their family comes first, they’re always welcome here for Christmas, for holidays, for everything and anything, any day of the week. We’ll give them cool gifts and bribe them to come, but if their family time becomes more important we’ve got to be able to provide them the opportunity of saying “no” without feeling bad.
• When we have all this family visiting, the most important advice is: We come first in our decision making. That’s not to say we don’t think about other people or take their thoughts and feelings into consideration. However, we have to make the decision that is best for our family. That comes first and foremost, and that applies to graduation, Christmas, Thanksgiving, any holiday you celebrate (apart from Father’s Day, then I can be a little selfish!).
• For Christmas this year, we made our plans and then told our family what we had chosen to do. Some family chose not to spend as much time as they would normally, but that was their decision.
• Whatever your immediate family unit looks like (husband, wife, kids), that’s what you’ve got to base your decisions on. You can’t base it on your parents or a rogue cousin that comes around once in a while and throws a fit, it’s your decision to make. That’s where a lot of people are scared to make that decision because they’re scared of making people upset. I was that way for a long time, but you’ve got to realise that if their feelings are hurt – while that’s not fun – it’s on them and the expectations they’ve set.

BEST MOMENTS

‘There was a lot of tension for us in these situations initially, and then we figured it out.’
‘When you get married, your spouse is first, you are your own family and everybody else comes second.’
‘When you have a spouse, and you may have divorced parents, you could have up to four families to see over Christmas time. That does present some challenges when you’re making those decisions about how to divide up your time.’
‘Start your own traditions, it’s your family, be your own family unit. Incorporate in-laws and parents into that because family is very important, but do not allow them to dictate what will and will not happen.’

ABOUT THE GUEST

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Being together for three and a half months and then trying to go back to how it was made me feel close to panicking, I was not OK with going back to the way that it was. But it’s been easier this week than I thought it was going to be. I just have to get used to you being gone, things get done when you’re not here, like me chopping my hair off!
• This time we’ve kept ourselves busier than we were before when we didn’t really have anything going on, now we’re busy every night. Our focus has shifted in the last three and a half months and I think that’s a positive thing for us and it’s helped the week-long separation that we have each and every week; we work during the day, get back and have a bite to eat, and then get busy working. Instead of sitting across the desk from you I’m sitting across a computer screen, and while it’s not as nice or enjoyable it’s still a chance to connect and talk with you, even if it is with other people.
• Find out what communication tools you’re going to use, are you going to text, call or video-chat? Find something that works for you, especially when you’ve got kids at home, and you can’t spend four hours on the phone every night. For the person travelling use the time that your partner is busy doing something to get your extra work done.
• Because you are separated by so much it’s easy to lose that connection if you’re not making it intentional, if you’re not doing it on purpose. When you get home, if you’ve lost that connection or touch point and you need to re-engage every time you get home, now you’re spending a day, a day and a half trying to re-engage before leaving again. If you do that enough pretty soon you’re just coming home to a roommate. You’ve got to work on keeping it together, it can be done, it’s just difficult to do and it takes time, practice, messing up and trying something differently. Don’t be afraid to try something and if it doesn’t work try something else.

BEST MOMENTS

‘It’s been a change, not good not bad just a change. It opens up some doors for us and makes some other things challenging.’
‘Get your work done while you’re on the road. It’s much better to be fully focused when you get home than be sat on the couch more focussed on your work than your partner.’
‘Text throughout the day, be in constant communication, take your lunch break together and call on the phone. These are really important especially if you’re miles apart.’
‘Think about how you can fill up your partner’s love tank and making them feel that they are important to you, that they are loved, and cared for, it really goes a long way.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Date nights look different for every couple and they’re different every week – for us specifically – and they should look different, they should not look the same. What fun is that? More than that, you want to connect physically, emotionally, and spiritually on date night. That’s why they’re so important and what they’re all about; keeping that stuff alive, and you should be intentional about making those things occur.
• It needs to scheduled and planned, especially for the first time. Block out 4-5 hours (from 6-10), go and have a nice dinner and make sure you have about 2 hours at the end of uninterrupted time – no kids, turn off your phones. Make or choose a comfortable, relaxing atmosphere (playlist, lights, candles).
• Use open communication with your spouse to share thoughts and feelings with them on where you’re at. Take turns discussing your day, tell them how you’ve been feeling lately, maybe something that feels like it’s got away from your or built up through the week because you don’t want to go into your intimacy session with that on your mind. Talk about expectations for the session, where do you want to go? Do you know? Do you want to try something new or similar?
• The locations and the things you do don’t matter, it’s the time you spend and the time you’re investing in your partner that matters. Sit close together as you’re talking and sharing your thoughts and feelings, hold hands. Physical touch reinforces your bond, your physical and emotional connection and creates a sense of comfort and security.

BEST MOMENTS

‘You should engage in activities that foster communication, vulnerability and a shared experience.’
‘This works for couples no matter where you are in your journey of intimacy. You can take it to any level, and you can morph it into what works for you.’
‘Finances are not something to openly communicate about on date night, there’s a time and place for those things.’
‘The first time you do this it’ll be a little awkward, but the more and more you do this (weekly preferably) it becomes more natural and fun.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• For a lot of us growing up in the West with a predominantly Christian/Judeo society, there’s a lot lacking when it comes to modelling a healthy, romantic, spiritual, sex positive relationship. That’s what started my path in seeking a place where sex and God come together. Why is it so separate? Why was I growing up made to feel afraid, ashamed, guilty, and scared of the consequences of sexuality when something inside of me was telling me this is a place that you can open, where there’s some kind of profundity and a more meaningful connection to spirit. Why do we think that’s supposed to be left outside the door?
• I started doing yoga when I was 13, my grandmother was my first yoga teacher. It was always in my life. As I got into my early 20s and started teaching it  and talking to people in their 30s and 40s doing yoga for the first time they were blown away by the profound revolution they were getting. It’s like cleaning a really dirty surface and seeing the cleanliness underneath.
• The three types of couples we get to our sessions are: Kinda new and they are so into each other and excited for where they’re headed. They’re adorable, on an adventure and are so excited about life. Then you have another couple where we are their last stop before divorce lawyers. They’re praying for a miracle and the stakes are high. Then, we’ve got couples who have been married for 30+ years and they’re looking for something that will help them get closer now the kids are out of the house, or are preparing for retirement, they’re seeking something but they’re not quite sure what that is.
• We all come from sexuality, essentially it’s the root of who we are. If you look at it from a Chinese medicine or Daoist perspective, our sexuality is our essence. That’s one of the first things that I like to get people in tune with: What is your essence? What does it look and feel like, how does it move through the world, how do you nourish it? So many people have no idea or have never thought about it before.

BEST MOMENTS
‘My first experience with tantra was so beautiful, something opened inside of me that forever changed me… once you taste it you can never go back to regular sex!’
‘Wherever you’re at is where you should start… there’s no shame if you’re 40 and you haven’t learned this stuff before.’
‘60% of the time, the couples that are heading for divorce have a breakthrough at our classes and find each other again, the other 40% know it’s not going to work.’
‘Tantra doesn’t promise to save marriages, tantra promises to help you get connected to your truth.’

ABOUT THE GUESTS
Dr Willow Brown, a Chinese medicine doctor, functional medicine expert and internationally recognised teacher of sexology, bridging sexuality, spirituality, and medicine so that her students can truly understand how to use their sexual energy to create the life that they desire.

Website: https://drwillowbrown.com/ 

Leah Piper has taught thousands of couples and individuals all over the world over the past 20 years through her school, More Love Works. She’s an intimacy expert with multiple advance certifications in tantra, yoga, positive psychology, and somatic therapies.

Website: https://www.moreloveworks.com/ 

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• We were friends for nine years before we started even seeing each other. We weren’t great friends, more acquaintances, we worked together – Cresta told me where to go and how to get there, and still does today! Our friendship started to develop after we started dating. The acquaintanceship was a great foundation for what we built as soon as we started dating.
• You can’t have a healthy relationship without some kind of friendship. Friendship is a base, knowing somebody helps you understand them and why they do or say the things they do, who they are, and where they come from. That friendship helps you know them, understand them and love them.
• We have daily communication. Set aside time every day – whether it’s five minutes or an hour – to talk to your spouse, to ask open-ended questions, not just “was your day good?”, but “how was your day? Tell me about it.” It doesn’t take that long to have a meaningful conversation with your friend.
• Sitting in your car and talking after doing the grocery shopping isolates you from all the distractions that will happen as soon as you go inside, like putting the groceries away, maybe the dogs need to be fed, kids to bathe. By isolating yourself for 3-5 minutes you can connect and find out how things are going.

BEST MOMENTS
‘We knew what type of person each other were and knew very basic details about each other, Justin didn’t even know I was straight!’
‘If you take care of her emotional needs, that is taking care of your own physical needs – women are emotional creatures and men are physical creatures.’
‘Don’t judge your friend. You have to be open to who they are. You married them, hopefully you knew who they were before you married them. You have to create that space where they feel it’s OK to come to you.’
‘If it’s easy to talk to somebody it’s easier to get through whatever it is you’re going through.’
ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.
CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• When both people in a relationship are struggling with ADHD symptoms it really makes for an extremely challenging relationship. I have less success there and the marriages usually don’t last that long. But, what I see very often is that people with ADHD symptoms tend to attract people that are a little more stable. 
• The first piece of advice I give to the spouse that doesn’t have ADHD symptoms is that your spouse is healthy, this isn’t a pathological condition, it is a lack of habit, and it’s certainly a way of doing things that is very different. What we need to do is bridge the gap by education and understanding each other. You need to understand what’s going on with them, what challenges your spouse is facing, what path they’re taking, as well as working with that person who has ADHD symptoms and helping them gain those skills.
• It’s not just about accepting the person, both member of the couple really have work to do gaining new skills, gaining patience and the main issue that I’ve seen over and over again is that the couple gets enmeshed in each other and they don’t know how to stop relying on the spontaneity or stability of the other and be their own person first and then part of a couple. Once they can stand as their own person they can work better as a couple.
• Mom’s with ADHD typically have a higher level of empathy towards their children and they’re able to bond better with their children. But, they’re a little more boundaryless which is problematic because you need to have clear rules and expectations for children. That’s something that I coach couples through, the bonding is so important and is at the centre, but because of that overwhelming empathy, I generally have to train them on the rules and the follow-through and not feeling sorry for your children and therefore turning them into sorry children.

BEST MOMENTS

‘My husband is extremely ADHD, he travels all over the world, he’s the life of the party, and is a lot of fun, but I’m definitely the anchor here.’
‘There are many, many different reasons why a person may behave in this way, from lack of skills to trauma and abuse to gut issues.’
‘Any couple that are not great at boundaries or their communication is not smooth and therefore their children are hearing a lot of fighting, arguing and childish bickering, that they get help right away. If you’re going to bring children into the world you need to raise them in a home where they’re not having to suffer with strife.’
‘Any parent whose child is diagnosed with ADHD: Take a deep breath, your child is healthy, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, you just need to learn more.’

ABOUT THE GUEST

Avigail Gimpel is a mom and educator who has earned her stripes! As her students grappled with ADHD symptoms and her own children were diagnosed with ADHD, she took a deep dive into the research (turning up unexpected results), studied and applied the best programs available, and developed many of her own. HyperHealing is the result of over twenty-five years of research, development, and application of cutting-edge intervention programs for her clients, children, and hundreds of students.

Website: https://www.hyperhealing.org/ 

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• I’m not a matchmaker, I don’t just put two people together, I actually help people find out who and why the best person would be for them. I help you to figure out who you are now (because you’ve changed throughout your life) and who is the right person to let into your life to set a strong foundation for any kind of a relationship that then becomes a fun, easy relationship to enjoy.
• There are three easy steps to setting a solid foundation for a relationship. People tend to do step three first and hope that the other two things will be lined up. Step one is understanding where you are in the “lifeline of your relationship arc”. Once you’ve found someone who’s got a similar mindset, then it’s a matter of assessing core values – they don’t have to be the same, but they have to be complimentary. Step three is seeing if all of these values align and whether you’re truly compatible, not that you live close and have sport in common. 
• Attraction, what you value and your priorities change. If you’re looking for someone who is going to be appropriate for you, find out who that is. Each of us is so unique that where our value system lies much deeper than the superficial: Is this someone I can trust, who will show up for me? Is this someone who has got the skills that I need to add into my life? Will we enjoy the philosophical conversations we have or the pillow talk?
• All relationships go through the same cycle, whether they’re personal or professional; from chemistry to casual to committed. 

BEST MOMENTS

‘It’s a lot easier to find who you’re looking for when you know who you’re looking for.’
‘The quickest I’ve done this – once we’d cleared everything up and my client knew who she was looking for with complete clarity – is three days. And he is Mr Wright!’
‘You don’t always know when it’s wrong, but you will always know when it’s right.’
‘You have a better chance of success in a relationship if you’re connecting with someone who has a similar intersection in their life as to where you are now.’

ABOUT THE GUEST

Michelle Hoffmann is the International Best-Selling Author of the books Life Worth Living and New Management Blueprint. Clients call her a Relationship Coach.

Because life is better with good love in it, Michelle empowers people to attract, keep, and enjoy loving relationships in their life without losing themselves and being overwhelmed.

After the loss of her husband, people asked for her guidance when they saw how she successfully pulled her life together for herself and her children. She wrote "Life Worth Living" to share her experience and how she got through that traumatic period of her life and became a guide for others through their own unique situations. As her clients consistently experienced success, more and more were referred to help them discover how to create life the way they dreamed it could be. They were able, with Michelle's coaching, to be 'desireful' and attract, keep, and enjoy the right love in their lives. 

It's all about Relationships. Wherever you are in your life journey - single, partnered, married, divorced, or widowed, it's time to have the confidence to live and enjoy life as you dream it could be.

Now it's your turn.

Website: http://theartofrelationshipping.com/ 

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• We met in a workshop on intimacy in relationships and communication. We decided, when we got together as life coaches, that we wanted to help people in relationships to have the support that they need and you can’t get by yourself. We help each other heal, we support each other, you don’t have to have all your ducks in a row, be completely healed or work on yourself first to make sure you’re ready for your beloved. We encourage you and invite you to get into a relationship that can support you lovingly, as Mark has been with me, and we gave you the tools to do that so that when you’re in a relationship it really works.
• We have a spiritual underpinning. We truly believe in souls, not just from a religious context, but from a more general spiritual context. We believe we have soul connections in the spirit/soul realm, whatever you want to call it. Some people we’re closer with – you might call them a soul mate – and we have more than one, they’re people you tend to get really close to and when you incarnate with them you can have an awesome relationship or a challenging one!
• If you’re older than 28 years old and you believe that the person in front of you is causing you emotional distress then you need some help. The truth of the matter is, any time we’re in some kind of emotional upset from something our partner did, it’s just a trigger from something from our past that we haven’t resolved yet. When that happens with Mark and I we team up to support each other and instead of taking it personal, we ask how we can support each other to clear that, heal it, release it and then we can create what we want going forward.
• We need mirrors, people who can look at us from the outside and say: “I see what’s going on here that you might not be aware of”. You then take all the emotion out of it and say: “You’re doing this or that, here’s a different perspective on it that will take all the hurt out”.

BEST MOMENTS
‘We help people that are in relationships who maybe need a little support and people who want to get into relationships and are having challenges.’
‘Absolutely any couple can make it to the soul mate level of relationship with the tools. We didn’t have the tools in the beginning, and we had disaster relationships!’
‘I never point the finger and say: “You caused this”. I say: “I’m being triggered by you, but that’s irrelevant, can you help me, maybe?”’
‘There’s no shame in asking for help.’

ABOUT THE GUESTS

Before Mark and I met, we both started attending the best consciousness and healing training that money can buy. 

We spent over $125,000 and 25 years learning the best techniques for clearing trauma, attaining peace and manifesting love.

Through all our training, we acquired the golden secrets to creating a heart centred, deeply intimate, loving spiritual partnership.  

We merged the best of these training with our own life experiences to create the most unique relationship coaching tools for you. 

These include two published books: Three Doors to the Soul and Do the Work: 5 Steps to Transcend Trauma, Summon Love & Invoke Your Power.  

We are the world’s greatest experts at failed relationships so you don’t have to be!

Website: https://www.markandlynetta.com/ 

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Spirituality is different from – and you can have it without – religion. Spirituality more defines who you are, shapes your worldview, who you are at the core. It doesn’t matter if you’re agnostic, atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, whatever you are, we’re all searching for that meaning in life, for something bigger and better than ourselves. 
• Spirituality helps everybody maintain a sense of self-efficiency and take accountability for themselves. 
• Love and spirituality is not letting your kids do whatever the hell they want. Love is giving your kids boundaries, teaching your kids how to be productive citizens. Being angry with your kids or not giving them enough love breaks their spirit, and you can see that when you look at them.
• If you’re religious, do whatever you’ve got to do personally to get your spirit right – read the Bible or the Qur’an or pray. If you’re not religious, meditate – take 10-15 minutes out of your day and just sit. If you can’t calm down  what’s going on inside, your entire life – work, school, relationships with spouse, parents, kids – are all going to be off because something inside you is not right or settled.

BEST MOMENTS

‘A spiritual person always has a hunger to learn, is always hungry for the next thing. One thing religion does is that it always provides the answers for you – it limits you and puts you in a box.’
‘In the last 20-30 years we’ve seen a resurgence in spirituality in our culture specifically, here in the West.’
‘We don’t like to speak of negativity in our lives, we try to keep everything upbeat and positive. Are we perfect? Absolutely not. But it’s something we constantly come back to.’
‘Have an attitude of gratitude.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• One of the first things you have to have as a couple is shared goals. You have to understand where each other is moving. You’ve got to have a shared vision. If somebody wants to travel, that can mean many different things; do you want to buy an RV and travel around the United States, do you want to go cruising round the world, do you want to see exotic places? Your vision and goals have got to be clearly stated, it’s not enough to just assume you’re on the same page, you’ve got to talk about it and plan ahead.
• You need to understand each other’s habits, especially when you’re new in a relationship or marriage. How do you spend your money? What are your priorities? Do you save for the future or do you like to spend your money going out to eat every night or go to the movies?
• If somebody’s making a change for a financial reason, whether that’s because you’re tight on money or you’ve set new financial goals for yourself, if you’re not on the same page  that’ll breed frustration and hostility towards one another because you’re going to open up that bank app and you’ll see this dude’s still going to the Quik-E-Mart everyday spending $20 on water and Monster every day, what’s going on? I thought we were saving for this or that?
• The best thing to do to manage your money is to create a budget to understand where it’s going and where we’re putting our money. Be intentional with it and you’re not just letting things take you by surprise. In every budget you allocate a certain amount to food and drink, utilities, rent, and it’s up to each individual couple how to prioritise things – if you want to eat out more than you buy clothes that’s great or vice versa – but you as a couple have to sit down to work out what your priorities are as a team.

BEST MOMENTS

‘None of us want to work forever, we all want to retire at some point, some of us want to travel, some of us want to have nice cars. Regardless, unfortunately this world revolves around money.’
‘Cooking is one of my hobbies and it does save us money.’
‘If you don’t understand your finances, where your money’s coming in from and where it’s going you’re never gonna get ahead and do the things you want to do.’
‘There are so many ways we can use technology to manage our finances, we’re really out of excuses for not being good with money.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Having gratitude in your relationship is key to keeping your mindset on the things that you do well, because you’re constantly bringing positivity and energetic things into the relationship. When I set my mind to constantly look for the things that you do to benefit our relationship it really keeps my mind in a positive space. It’s really hard to go down a negative path if you’re expressing gratitude on a regular basis.
• Being intentional in the marriage means that whatever you do in your marriage you have to have a reason for it, actively and purposefully work on maintaining a healthy, fulfilling and long lasting relationship. Going on date nights, taking time out of our day to send a text or check in with each other, being there to support if the other one of you is feeling unwell.
• Forgiveness in a marriage involves letting go of – but not forgetting – feelings, anger, resentment. We should constantly be working to better and improve ourselves and our relationships, and by trying so hard there will always be missteps along the way. Stop making promises to your other half, shut up and just do it, don’t say what you intend to do, just do it. 
• Teamwork is especially important if you have kids. Being able to coordinate and collaborate toward common goals and overcoming challenges. You’re going to have to share responsibilities in a relationship, you’re going to have to support each other’s strengths and weaknesses and really utilise where your partner is strong and allow them to help guide that area of your relationship, finances for example.

BEST MOMENTS
‘Sacrifice is important in a relationship because if you’re not giving, you’re taking. It involves putting the needs and wellbeing of your partner and your relationship ahead of your own desires and preferences, making choices and decisions that aren’t comfortable but are necessary for the greater good of the relationship.’
‘Recently for an anniversary gift I got a Zelda book – I’m a big Zelda nerd.’
‘Get yourself a gratitude journal and write down three things each day that you’re grateful for in life, not just in your marriage.’
‘Relationships take two people. Often, it’s just one person screwing up, so if that person can get their stuff fixed a lot of times those relationships are repairable.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• We wanted to take our health and wellness seriously as we are over the hill and we’re on the downside… though it depends where you put the hill. We’ve gone through some diets and saw a medical professional. We play Beat Sabre on VR for cardio, especially when Justin is away for work. We’re on a dirty keto diet and we’ve had some very good success. Justin lost about 20lbs from June to October last year and was doing well, but we took a break for the holidays and all that shit came back fast and furious!
• After reading a load of books on dieting, what we came up with was basically two handfuls of veg and a handful of protein. That’s the basic outline of what we’re following now, though we did pick up the water drinking aspect of dieting and not putting sugars and artificial sweeteners in our bodies.
• We each have our own personal goals, but we still do it together though. That was one of the things that we both struggled with initially, not working out but which diet should we choose? A lot of the things that work for one of us won’t work for the other. Especially as Cresta has gut problems. Men can generally make weight adjustments a little better than women. 
• The benefits of having a supportive partner there, somebody who is encouraging you, is fighting the same battles as you’re fighting and fighting some of your battles for you is immense. For example, we bought energy drinks the other day,  but Justin dumped them all when they got home because for Cresta to succeed she needs his support. His support is not sitting with a can of Monster while she can’t have them. It’s not fair for him to have it that she can’t.

BEST MOMENTS

‘We don’t want to try diets, we just want to eat healthy and be healthy, our goal is not to be on the cover of magazines. Our goal is lifestyle and longevity.’
‘As you get more active it becomes easier to consume the amount of water you should consume each day.’
‘You always have to invest in yourself.’
‘Everything in your marriage comes back to: Do you have a supportive partner? It can make or break a marriage.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• IN the past few years I have re-ignited my passion for learning. It started off with starting my own business, Casper Financial Group in the insurance industry. One of the things my team members really pushed was personal development, so I started reading books including ‘The Compound Effect’ which is something we talk about on here, how little changes have a big impact and payoff later on. This works for personal growth as well as finances.
• Can you be half a percent better today than you were yesterday? Then tomorrow can you make another half a percent? If you do that every single day for 365 days you’ll look back at all the growth you made over a year, whereas after a week it didn’t look like any growth.
• We’re focussing on health and wellness, to get us to the point we want to be. Some mornings when I get on the scales I’m extremely excited, others I’m not so excited. But we don’t want to look day by day, we need to look after a week or a month or quarter, that’s when you’re going to start seeing the fruits of your labour.
• Maybe you’re a parent going back to school, maybe you just got married and you’re still in school, one thing we always want to do is be learning. As people we’re always moving, either forward or backwards, you’re never in a stagnant place. Or your losing weight or putting it on, hardly ever are you maintaining. Take small, little steps.

BEST MOMENTS

‘Justin asks me questions. Constantly!’
‘You’re playing a long game, it’s not get rich quick or get smart fast. You can only take in so much at a time and it takes a while to start implementing those.’
‘There’s no better time than right now to start doing something new, regardless of how old you are, where you are in life. Don’t put off til tomorrow what can be done today.’
‘Professional development and personal development have a lot of places where they coincide.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Intimacy is defined as a close familiarity or friendship, e.g., “the intimacy between a husband and a wife”. To me, that means nothing, it can be interpreted in millions of different ways. When I think of intimacy – and I’m sure a lot of other people do – when I think of intimacy I think of sex, but it’s so much more than that.
• When we talk about intimacy we talk about spending time together. It’s a mental and emotional state as much as a physical thing. There’s intimacy in the emotional connection we have, the way that you think. If you can be childish together, which I highly recommend, it builds that intimacy. When you have intimacy in one area the intimacy ion other areas becomes a lot stronger.
• We spend a lot of time talking throughout the day and connecting to one another and that tends to bleed over into other things when we get home, specifically the bedroom. What it does is allow us to constantly be in that state of being constantly connected and interacting with one another and we’re really right there moment to moment. 
• We’re not afraid to tell each other when something is good, bad, indifferent or otherwise. We take care of each other – we both cook dinner, whoever is first home from work. A huge thing for maintaining intimacy is shared experiences, it might sound a little trivial but even small things like going to the store together as well as family events and kids’ sporting events.

BEST MOMENTS

‘If you only want intimacy through sex, you don’t actually care about intimacy, you only want sex.’
‘I believe that intimacy is part of the foundation of marriage. If you aren’t close, you should probably figure out how to be close if you’re married or it could end tragically.’
‘While we don’t put a lot of pressure on the statement, we do kind of use sex as a barometer of where our relationship is.’
‘We are not clock-watchers. We will start talking and sometimes not stop until one of us is literally passing out, mid-conversation sometimes!’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Everything you do is communicating something, whether that’s indifference, frustration, happiness, contentment. A lot of men don’t like to do a lot of talking, they like to be strong and stoic and silent, but even in that it communicates something.
• We have a lot of different ways in which we communicate, just like a lot of other couples. One of my (Justin) favourite ways we communicate is something we do everyday: We set aside time at the end of every day, whether it’s 5 minutes or 30 minutes, whether we have zero tiredness or we’re exhausted. We talk about everything, be those misunderstandings throughout the day, arguments, or to catch up and remind each other that we’re paying attention to each other. It wraps up my day.
• All couples should set a weekly meeting because so often in the midst of a week you can get lost in work, school, kids, family life, so may things. If you don’t have those touch points who’s picking up Sally from soccer on Thursday? Who’s picking up Joey from basketball on Tuesday? If you don’t have those kinds of communications those are very easily things that can get lost in the mix.
• Cresta once told me that she had a problem with the tone and how I said something. I was then quiet for 20-30 minutes, processing it and wondering what tone I’d used. I can be very sharp with my words and it’s taken a lot of work on my part to not be so sharp, because the intent is not there to be sharp and harsh with you, but that’s just how it comes across. 

BEST MOMENTS

‘Sometimes Justin takes something I’ve said, goes away and comes back with 5,000 questions, and that makes me know they you’re communicating, you’re taking it in and you’re processing it.’
‘Even though we spend the whole day together it doesn’t mean, in my mind, that there’s not things you haven’t heard. So, I try to bring all of that out and make sure you know everything from that day.’
‘Texting throughout the day reminds me that you’re thinking of me, that you love me, that I’m always on your mind even if you’re focussing on work.’
‘It’s not just the words you say, it’s how it’s said.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Marriage doesn’t happen by accident. You intentionally put a ring on that finger, you intentionally say “I do”, so you should intentionally do everything else. You should go out of your way for the other person, on purpose. It’s not an accident that I love you, it happens for a reason.
• I’ve (Cresta) always been interested in escape rooms. Justin surprised me for one of our date nights with my first ever escape room and the last clue led to the key to get out of the room, but in the cupboard where the key was Justin had got them to put an engagement ring in there and that’s how he proposed! 
• We spend as much time together as we can. Justin works out of town currently, so he’s gone during the week from Monday mid-morning. Sometimes he intentionally tries to get a night back at home during the week if he can even though it means another six hours on the road. But you always turn up to my work to say goodbye.
• We’ve been lucky, we’ve had a very positive relationship – the whole thing. For a lot of couples it’s probably not healthy to talk about the past, but for us everything’s been so positive that for us it’s OK to talk about the past, and we do it a lot. You just have to do it the right way, you’ve got to understand where your spouse is coming from and what they’ve been through and an understanding of what they’re bringing to the relationship, good, bad and ugly.

BEST MOMENTS

‘An intentional marriage is about being intentional in all that you do. If you lose you intent there’s a chance you could lose your marriage.’
‘One of my (Justin) favourite things we intentionally do is Friday night date nights, even if we stay in.’
‘We always communicating while we’re apart, talking about our future plans, the struggles we’re having, and really just being there for one another.’
‘Being intentional is making an active choice each and every day that these are the things that Cresta needs. Sometimes it’s simple stuff and sometimes I don’t have the answers and we’ve gotta go look for it.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Justin got married at 19 and had his kids by the age of 24, he was a missionary in another country but returned to the US to work in law enforcement. He met a dispatcher called Cresta and they formed a friendship where the messaged each other. After he got out of law enforcement his marriage began to break down, he tried to save his marriage for his children’s sake, but his wife asked him to leave. He decided to get himself fixed emotionally and physically and through an ad on Tik Tok he found a life coach who specialised in men dealing with themselves after a divorce and how to pick themselves up and it turned his life around.
• Cresta had had some relationships, none overly serious and a handful of them unhealthy. She had her dogs and family to get her through lots of things. She worked dispatching for many agencies including three different police agencies, the sheriff’s department, fire, EMS, etc. She met Justin and they became acquaintances who spoke during quiet times in their shifts when they saw each other. 
• One Friday night, after a year of not seeing each other, they were both on nights out and ran into each other in a bar and something clicked between them. He asked if she wanted to go to dinner some time and she said yes and she’s said yes to him every day since.
• The Intentional Marriage is something we’ve put together to share what we have with other couples, to be there for them, be a sounding board for them, sharing the things that we’ve learned.

BEST MOMENTS

‘Anyone who’s been asked to leave by their spouse will know what a devastating blow that can be, not just for yourself but also for the nuclear family.’
‘I was somewhat successful with being single, until my mid-40s.’
‘The maturing I did through life coaching really made me see things differently and to be there for you (Cresta) as our relationship progressed, providing a safe place and stability.’
‘A learning curve for me is being a step-mom, and you’ve been so supportive.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching/  

marriage,counselling,support,improvement,relationship,advice,partner,help: https://deviationbydesign.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.