Clutch My Pearls

120 - Cupid's Peak

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

Come get “Mathed Up” with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Cupid’s Peak” by Lee Jacquot! This is a Holinight novella, a series first seen in “Hollow’s Grove” way back in Episode 3! In this book, we meet Mia, a smart and busy finance babe who has no time to meet anyone new! She even schedules “appointments”with her Big Purp! Thankfully her sister Eleni plays Cupid and sets up Mia with her former crush Eli! Eli is a NHL superstar now, but Mia remembers him as her tutoring student who was just as adorkable as her! Can a night atop Cupid’s Peak spark something more? Scoot 45° over in your booth, use PEMDAS to show your work, and feel around under the table to find out for yourself! Yum!

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119 - Saving The Rain

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

Come ride bareback with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Saving The Rain” by Elliott Rose! It’s from the Crimson Ridge series, previously shared by Vanessa in episode 79 and by Emily in episode 105! In book four, Kayce Wilder gets injured in a bull riding competition, and his only cure is the forbidden love of his rival bull rider…who happens to be his step brother?! Zeke Rainer, whom we have to call him Raine, comes to the ranch to cover Kayce’s duties, but he ends up covering way more than that! With Raine’s help, Kayce has a chance to heal and to come into his own (jeans). Take a bath, slip and slide across the bench seat of a truck, and tune in!

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118 - Cursebound

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

Come hunt vampires with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Cursebound” by Sadie Kincaid and LJ Morrow! Book one in the Curse of Blood series introduces us to the vampire hunter Rosa Capelli! Rosa isn’t like the other vampire hunters, she is a Seer that takes out all the bad vampires, just like Tom Cruise in Minority Report! Rosa didn’t *see* Luca Da Firenze, the super hot and super old (400!) vampire mafia capo, coming into her life, but he’s here and she can’t escape him, not that she would want to! Their bond might be that of soulmates (hello silver eye rings!), but it comes at a cost. Get your grinch fingers, squirt your water bottle, and serve your beef hot because you’re in danger girl! Twilight-run your way to tuning in!

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117 - Why Cheese?

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

Come cut the cheese with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Why Cheese?” by Ellen Mint! After many tags and requests for this book to be presented, Vanessa delivered! We follow Violette as she inherits her great uncle’s cheese shop, but the real story is hidden in the basement: a magical chest containing four different cheeses. These cheeses aren’t like the cheeses, these turn into sexy men at night! Cheddy, Roq, Cam, and Brie take an immediate liking to Violette, so they decide to go into business together to save the cheese shop. They also do a lot of other things, sometimes all together, sometimes just a few of them, and sometimes in public! Choo Choo! All aboard the Cheddy train! This episode had the girls kicking their little feet, flipping the camera all around the studio, and learning all about Barbara’s cheese aversion! And The Girls tie Vanessa down to satisfy those that have been requesting “Heated Rivalry” - Vanessa will be presenting it on our Patreon for the bonus episode available on the last Thursday of the month!

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116 - Squeak

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come beef at the Zoo with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Squeak” by Vera Valentine! When friends Sebastian and Keane fall into the grips of a fortune teller’s curse, they worry their swimsuit areas will stay smooth and Ken-like forever. One day, the boys try blowing in each other’s mouths and realize it makes them grow down there. But their areas are… a balloon? With a knot on the end? Is this omegaverse? Yes! Although Seb and Keane enjoy each other plenty, an artsy woman named Poppy starts to sketch herself into their world. As the balloons grow in size and the three of them form a connection, will their bond be enough to free the boys from their curse? Start some beef, think about blowing into your friend’s mouth, and listen now before the new year!

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115 - He Sees You When You're Sleeping

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come unwrap your Christmas present with The Girls! It’s another episode of our Blind Draw Christmas Pick ‘Ems Event and Vanessa is up! She presents “He Sees You When You’re Sleeping” by Alta Hensley, a book chosen just for her by Emily (and some of our loyal Patrons!) As soon as hottie firefighter Jack meets jewelry influencer Chloe, he’s obsessed! Is he a stalker? There’s no way to know! When Jack discovers Chloe has a secret online persona and tons of fans that love the way she “cybers,” he comes into her DMs and then he comes into her…you know what. With morally gray characters, intriguing (brand new!) trigger warnings, and plenty of reminders that it’s just a book, this really is the perfect gift for Vanessa!

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114 - Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come get sticky with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal” by Meghan Quinn. The Girls are back in Christmas Kringle Town from Episode 61! After her year-round Christmas Store went out of business, our FMC Betty comes to Kringle Town to help her uncle start up a rival Christmas Tree farm! When Betty meets Atlas (who also goes by Max..?) she feels a connection with him before she realizes he is part of the family that owns the other Christmas tree farm! Hijinks ensue, because Atlas/Max has been left home alone after his family went to Europe without him! Like the movie! This episode features an astrology update, cherry cordials, counter top 69, and every possible “Home Alone” reference, including a tarantula!

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113 - Big Nick Energy

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 13:18:40 GMT

Come consent to Christmas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Big Nick Energy” by Morgan Elizabeth! The Girls are revisiting the Seasons of Revenge Series they first dipped into from episode 8 “‘Tis The Season For Revenge!” When Shae is celebrating her first Christmas as a single mom to her two little girls, she is trying to make it special. When Nickolas Finch (who of course owns a Christmas Tree farm) comes into Shae’s life, he too wants to make the Christmas special for the little girls, and for Shae! This insta-love holiday book will have you dancing like a sugar plum, craving buttered noodles and maybe even allowing an Elf on The Shelf on your property!

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112 - Mate

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Go into heat with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Mate” by Ali Hazelwood! After a quick astrology update from Barbara, (hang in there, retrograde is over!) The Girls dive into the sequel to “Bride” from episode 19! Although it was a while ago, Barbara gives a thorough recap of Bride so you’re ready for Mate! Our FMC is Serena Paris, the orphaned Were-human who is trying to learn about her changing body (from male doctors) and reconnecting with Koen Alexander. Koen is the super hot (and celibate?) Alpha Were of the powerful Northwest Pack. Since he was a young pup, he has been determined to protect Serena. Not only must he protect her, he must try to resist her scent and heat. Can he help her with her changing body and surging cortisol levels? Once Serena’s “slick” appears, the only solution is…The Knot. Too much? Too bad! Listen now, it’s a fun one!

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111 - Stuffed

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come grab a bag of emotional support potato chips with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Stuffed” by Jessica Gadziala. Although it’s the same title, this has nothing to do with the “Stuffed” pillow from Episode 35! This book follows Callie, a DC busy business woman who is coming home for Thanksgiving. Callie just so happens to have a brother whose bff is SUPER hot and she’s been crushing on him for years! Adam Gallagher is spending Thanksgiving with Callie’s family (his family died. Rip.) and he’s especially looking forward to it because he has been crushing on Callie for years! After they finally admit they like each other, they have to be quiet in the guest bedroom but the old bed frame starts rocking! Just like a Thanksgiving meal, this book has it all! Relatable snack choices, Dr. Who socks, suffocating kisses, and a Queen Anne style dream house! Gather around and listen now!

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110 - Riding The High

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come rewatch Brooklyn 99 with The Girls! This week Emily shares how she was confronted at a Target, Vanessa is story bustin’ and thinkin’ about naughty ice cream, and Barbara wore her milf jeans! Barbara also presents “Riding The High” by Paisley Hope, book three in the Silver Pines series! We’re in Laurel Creek (Kentucky?…there’s no way to know) and there’s a new sheriff in town! Sheriff and single dad Cole Ashby is heading to Vegas for a bachelor/bachelorette trip that includes his little sister’s best friend Ginger Danforth. Cole and Ginger may have a past they do not speak of but it’s fine, they’re just friends! After one night drinking like they’re in Vegas, their past comes back with a passion, and drunken wedding bells ring! Since Ginger is the daughter of a Congressman up for reelection and Cole needs to pass a probationary period to become the official big time sheriff, they can’t let news of a scandalous Vegas marriage get out! So the obvious solution is to have Ginger temporarily move into Cole’s home as the hired nanny to his 8 year old daughter. They’re totally just friends! A secretly married boss and employee…but just friends! Of course they’ll stay platonic! Unless a storm rolls through, forcing them to stop denying their love for each other. Tune in now, get ready to yell “authority!” and decide: are you Team Vixen or Team Law Daddy?

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109 - Nero

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come unlock the patio door with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Nero,” book one of the Alliance series by S.J. Tilly! FMC Payton is just trying to have a quiet night at home when suddenly hottie mafia man Nero wanders into her living room to hide from the cops. Nero was able to elude the police, but not his instant attraction to Payton! Although Payton knew she should be scared, she was instantly intrigued and totally turned on by Nero. This chance encounter leads to so many new, thrilling, and splattering experiences! This book had The Girls clutching and squealing… and looking forward to the rest of the series! Rock out like you’re at a metal show, watch out for your left side, and listen now!

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108 - Shared

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come pass the potatoes with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Shared” by Maisie Beasley! This is book one in the Beachside Ménage series! This MFM novella will have you clutching your pearls and hoping the characters have some good table cleaner! When a group of friends go on a beach trip together, there are some fun new experiences and bonding moments that bring them much closer! Primary couple James and Molly (we changed the FMC name for family reasons) are so into each other, but they feel selfish not sharing their bounty. Thankfully James’ best friend Luke has been eyeing the couple for quite some time, and he’s about ready to blow. When dirty talk isn’t enough, the desire (and permission!) to see each other’s swimsuit areas washes ashore. Whether you’re seated at a dining table, lounging by the pool, or sitting in *that* chair in the corner watching, this novella will leave you so full.

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107 - Hallowpeen

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come talk into a mirror with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Hallowpeen” by Holly Wilde! Hollow Springs isn’t like the other Halloween towns, it has more of a sentient vibe. Ghost hunting live streamer Samantha went missing one Halloween, and she became part of the local urban legend. But it’s just silly lore, right? This Halloween our FMC Asha knows there is only one way to find out! After a moment with a mirror, Asha is greeted by three pumpkin men who are ready to serve her a pumpkin spice latte…with extra foam. But that’s not all, another urban legend creeps up at the stroke of midnight for our other FMC Kaysie who leaves candy in her dish, and so she must be roped in by the Candy Man…err, Man Candy! Can these three friends escape the underworld of pumpkins and candy?! Do they want to? Would you want to? Our pH could never! Listen now to decide for yourself!

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106 - Tricky Girls

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come punch trees with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Tricky Girls” by Holly Thorne! After catching her boyfriend in a hedge maze with her best friend, our FMC Tilda decides to (literally) cut that friend and boyfriend out of her life. Tilda goes on to make friends with a group of hot girls who have darker sides and secrets. As often as Tilda declares she’s straight, can she truly resist these women? Should she resist them? Should she just go color in the other room while a teacher watches? This sapphic why choose wide shoes trope soup of a book has it all! Trauma! Cliffhangers! Mafia? Tents in the woods! Enemies! Stepsisters? Underground clubs! And probably anything else you can think of! Tune in now!

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105 - Braving The Storm

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come celebrate the terrible twos with The Girls! As is tradition, Emily’s presenting a book to celebrate another year of the show! This year she chose “Braving The Storm” by Elliot Rose! It’s the second book in the Crimson Ridge series (Vanessa presented book 1 “Chasing The Wild” in episode 79) and it was teased as the nastiest book Vanessa had started to read! This book finds Briar Lane running away from LA to a forgotten family cabin in the woods to escape her unfaithful boyfriend. Briar thought she would be alone, but she found a big, tattooed, ex-bull rider named Stormand Lane…or as she knows him, Uncle Storm. He’s not her blood uncle, he’s her dad’s estranged adopted brother. But still an uncle! While sharing a one room cabin, Storm makes sure to be VERY educational with Briar. This forbidden love story was super steamy, but it will have you wishing they stopped referring to each other as niece and uncle much sooner than they did. Be brave, put on your leather cuff, and have fun at our birthday party because it’s just a book!

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104 - Corn Daddy

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come visit a corn maze with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Corn Daddy” by Hannah Woodcock! This “Steamed Short” will have you questioning if you’ll ever look at corn the same way! When down on her luck Liz gets stood up at the annual fall festival, she tries to make the best of it by going into the corn maze. But this isn’t just any corn maze, it’s a dark, eerie, and passionate experience…one that changed Liz’s feelings about corn forever. Would you be willing to take on the title of Corn Queen in exchange for true love? Was this episode a Taco Bell fever dream for The Girls? Grab your inhaler and get ready for heart palpitations because this episode is steamed and buttered!

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103 - Baby and the Late Night Howlers

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come flip through a scent binder with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Baby and the Late Night Howlers” by Kathryn Moon! This omegaverse reverse harem/why choose book was VERY educational for the girls! When Baby (yes, her legal name is Baby) goes into her first heat as an omega, she doesn’t know what to do. Thankfully Seth aka Bomber, a hottie who smells like Apple Pastry, takes her to the omega clinic to learn about her changing body. As Baby flips through the scent book to find who she’s drawn to, she comes across a familiar apple pastry scent and she LIKES IT. With clenched thighs and lots of drool, Baby is sent to a motorcycle club pack of alphas called the Late Night Howlers. These alphas know how to take care of Baby and boyyyyyy do they! All of them! In an educational way of course! Build your blanket nest and listen now, you do KNOT want to miss this episode!

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102 - Mountain Daddy

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come eat a brownie with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Mountain Daddy” by S.J. Tilly, the second book in the Mountain Men series! When Kendra is screwed over by her roommate, she has no option but to move in with her father in Colorado. Before Kendra moves in she makes a stop at a motel for one night. While at the motel bar, Kendra happens to meet a sexy silver haired older man named Luther. So she slips him her room key and they share an incredible night of passion and new experiences! What was supposed to be just a one night stand turns into so much more once she gets to her dad’s house and meets his best friend Luther! Can Kendra and Luther resist the temptation of their forbidden love? No. Can they avoid getting caught? Also no. Do they have a 24 year age gap? Yes! Does he put pizza in his pockets? Yes! Did Emily ask for this and immediately regret it? Yes! Listen now and see how you feel!

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101 - Swift and Saddled

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come learn to drive stick shift with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Swift and Saddled” by Lyla Sage! This book is the second in the Rebel Blue Ranch series which The Girls previously discussed in episode 75 “Done and Dusted!” When city girl Ada Hart travels to small town Wyoming for an interior decorating gig, she didn’t expect to meet a handsome cowboy the night before the job starts! After some hallway smooching, she thought she would never see him again…until she shows up at her new job and he’s there! Weston “Wes” Ryder may have hired Ada to spruce up his house, but can he help her take down her walls? This book has it all: anti depressants, baby cows, a cute dog, and feelings about Taylor Swift! So pop some popcorn with extra butter, shelter in place and listen now!

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100 - Shared with His Friends

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come celebrate 100 episodes with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Shared with His Friends” by Kitty King! This book may only be 100 pages but it manages to pack A LOT in it…much like our FMC Amber! When Amber’s boyfriend Jet Harrington (who happens to be a billionaire) wants to see if she is worthy of being his wife, he does what any billionaire book boyfriend would do - he shares her with his friends! Much like the four horseman of the apocalypse, Jet’s friends each have a unique kink - Praise, Humiliation, Degradation, and BDSM. At the end of the day, the ultimate prize is who manages to get Amber pregnant! If you have made it with us you to episode 100 you know it’s just a book!

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99 - The Graham Effect

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come win a shoot out with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Graham Effect” by Elle Kennedy! When hockey hottie Luke Ryder has to bring his team together and advance his hockey career, he knows he needs to impress Garret Graham. Garret Graham is basically Wayne Gretzky for those who know who that is, but more importantly—he’s Gigi Graham’s dad?! Gigi Graham is trying to make it to the Olympics women’s hockey team but she needs a little help with her skills. Thankfully Luke can help her with hockey and tell her she’s a good girl—in more ways than one! As these two hockey hotties heat things up, it’s surprising the ice rink doesn’t melt! Get your alliteration ready and tune in now!

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98 - Mystery Man

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come eat cookie dough with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Mystery Man” by Kristen Ashley! After The Girls give updates on health and Taylor Swift, we dive into this book which happens to be the first in the Dream Man Series! When Gwendolyn Kidd meets a hunky dream man named Hawk, they share a passionate night of love… and then he disappears! But for the next 18 months he re-appears in her bed at night for some more lovin. Hawk is a real human man, don’t worry. When Gwen’s sister gets involved in the lethal and dangerous Denver underbelly, Gwen gets caught up in the “deep sh*t”. Thankfully Gwen has Hawk to watch over her, motorcycle man Tack to take her away if needed, and hot cop Lawson to chase off the bad guys. But what’s there for her the most is her emotional support cookie dough she can’t stop eating. Grab your own cookie dough and listen now!

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97 - Bourbon and Lies

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come take a swig of bourbon with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Bourbon & Lies” by Victoria Wilder! It’s book one in “The Bourbon Boys” series, and we meet Grant Fox, the youngest brother in a family full of bourbon bad boys who all carry a curse. The curse? Any woman they fall for dies! When Laney Young is brought to the Bourbon Boys compound to hide out for her safety, she and Grant can’t help but feel 100proof love for each other! Can Grant let his guard down? Can the curse be broken? Get in your horse trough or jerk it in the kitchen while you listen now!

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96 - The Tyrant Alpha's Rejected Mate

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come shift into a wolf with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Tyrant Alpha’s Rejected Mate” by Cate C. Wells! Not only is this the first book in "The Five Packs" series, it’s a sister Sierra suggestion! Wolf-shifter and camp cafeteria server Una is a late bloomer. She’s never shifted until one day in the middle of a work shift, she goes for a whole new kind of shift and shifts into a wolf! Her wolfish heat makes her realize her fated mate is the alpha top dog, Killian Kelly! Like Una, Killian had never felt a mated bond for anyone, so he doesn’t believe her and rejects Una in front of the whole pack! Una does what any embarrassed wolf woman would do and asks a witchy wolf to Baja Blast that mating bond right out of her! Killian finally feels his bonded feelings and believes Una is truly the one for him, but is it too late? Can Killian convince Una to howl at the moon with him? Who let the dogs out? Can anyone find out where the hell you’ve been loca?! Grab some Taco Bell and tune in!

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95 - Take Me Apart

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come ride an elevator with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Take Me Apart” by Brea Alepoú and Skyler Snow. This is book one in the Vitali Brothers series, so you know what that means- Mafia, ayeeeee! When cutie rookie cop Tex wants a big bust, he looks to the Vitali mafia family, specifically Enzo Vitali. Enzo Vitali is a sexy tidy mob man and he gives Tex the bust he so desperately needed, but Tex didn’t realize it would be that kind of bust…or how many he’d get! Is Tex willing to give up his new mob boy to become a detective? Is Enzo willing to protect the enemy cop? Is this book so spicy it doesn’t even matter?! Let’s just say the education these boys provide had the girls in a full Nelson!

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94 - Only Between Us

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come onto the field with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Only Between Us” by Ellie K. Wilde! When pro football player Brooks Attwoods gets a head injury and starts getting freaky in back alleyways, his chances for rejoining his favorite team start to dwindle. Brooks tries to work his way back, but after a (literal) run-in and one selfie with Siena Pippen, everything changes! Siena Pippen is happy selling worms at her ghost dad’s bait shop, but the old familiar role of being a footballer’s girlfriend is calling..even if it’s just for pretend. Of course, pretend becomes real, and real becomes real spicy! This book had all the feet kicking, all the jaws dropped, and it received the exclusive ranking of a Barbara 6! Ship happens! Thank you to Atria Books and Simon and Schuster for this advanced copy!

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93 - Fight

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come out to the woods with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Fight” by Sloane St. James! It’s book one of the Sky Ridge Hot Shots series, and it lights a spark! When hottie captain firefighter Callahan Woods isn’t busy battling blazes in the woods, he’s banging randoms. But then Prescott Simmons escapes her religious cult and strolls into town. As the new EMT, Prescott and Callahan cross paths and set some fires between their educational parts! Grab your oxygen mask, play battleship, and oops! there’s only one bed! Don’t even try to put out these flames because they’re hot!

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92 - LIVE Show! - I Got Abducted by Aliens...

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come do it LIVE with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I’m Trapped in a Rom-Com” by Kimberly Lemming! This episode was performed and recorded LIVE as part of the Homebrew Austin podcast showcase! This book follows Dorothy (Dory) Valentine, a woman in STEM-wildlife-biologist who was attacked by a lion! But when it fades to black, she isn’t dead… she was rescued! Well, maybe not rescued as much as abducted by aliens! When Dorothy and the lion (who she has named Toto) wake up on a spaceship, it’s clear they gotta GTFO! They get covered in convenient language translation blue goo and blast away in an escape pod only to land somewhere there are pink dinosaurs?! Suddenly a sexy alien named Sol shows up, then a bad boy alien named Lok arrives, and they all enjoy some instant attraction and sexy time in a cave…tails included! This may not make any sense, but don’t worry, The Girls have Barbies, Buc-ees and dog toys to help it all come together! This book has it all! Aliens, dinosaurs, and owls oh my! Follow the cul-de-sac road and listen now!

We can’t thank Homebrew Austin enough for including and hosting us, Parish for housing us, and all of our lovely friends and fans who came out to support us and be a part of this special event! Thank you to those that made it possible to share this episode: audio by Trask Audio, video footage provided by Homebrew Austin and Ray Pacheco, video by Phoenix Edits.

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91 - Caught Up

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 06:00:00 GMT

Come down to Little Italy with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Caught Up” by Navessa Allen! This sequel to “Lights Out” (Episode 59) follows mafia-bad-boy-sweetie Nico “Junior” Trocci as he reconnects with his high school flame Lauren Marchetti. Lauren isn’t the girl he once knew, she’s now a beautiful cam girl who also happens to co-own a sex club! Since dating Lauren is off limits IRL (mafia stuff or something), Junior gets close to her the only way he knows - by stalking her on his motorcycle, placing a tracker in her bag, subscribing to her OF and requesting private videos. Eventually the two reconnect and their old feelings are still there, so much so that they put their connection on FULL display for all the club to see. Put on your mask, settle into a private booth and listen now!

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90 - Rewind It Back

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 15:32:35 GMT

Come hold hands with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Rewind it Back,” the fifth (and final?) book in The Windy City series by Liz Tomforde! When busy business interior design intern Hallie moves out to Chicago, she lands a big job but the client happens to be famous hockey player Rio Deluca. After “a lot happened” six years ago, Hallie has tried her hardest to stay away from Rio, but this opportunity is one she can’t pass up. The problem with Rio is that he’s not just a star hockey player and a goofball, he’s an old flame from Hallie’s past! Old flames still burn bright between these two, and things get steamy even from a distance. Put in the cassette mix tape, draw a unique heart, and charge up your phone because this episode is a wild and fun ride!

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89 - Guarded By The Snake

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come shed your skin with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Guarded By The Snake” by Layla Fae! As part of the Monster Security Agency series, this book follows Kim, who must hire protection to keep her safe after she steals a special golden statue. That’s when Asan walks in…well, slithers in. Asan is a snake man (man on top and BIG snake on bottom) and he’s been hired to protect Kim. Don’t worry, there are lot of educational serpent biology lessons in this episode! It’s supposed to be just business between them, but it’s never just business is it? Come to the club and get coiled because this episode is a fun one!

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88 - Tell Me All Your Lies

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come play poker with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Tell Me All Your Lies” by Angel Anders! This is book four from the “In The Carolinas” series. This book was just released and given to the girls as an ARC so we made sure not to include too many spoilers! When contract spy Cara Collins from the Carolinas (say that three times fast!) is brought on to catch a mafia mastermind, The Agency won’t let her do it alone. She must be paired up with the one and only Grant Sinclair. Unfortunately Grant’s biggest problem is that he’s her dad’s best friend…and he’s super hot! The two must infiltrate the mafia by getting married, moving to the suburbs, going to block parties, and winning poker. Grant and Cara both have feelings for each other…even though it’s just business! But sometimes you can’t help but mix business and pleasure. This book had the girls giggling the entire episode and experiencing a third act they did NOT see coming from Barbara (even with the visions!)

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87 - Phantasma

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come make a wish with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Phantasma” by Kaylie Smith! In this book we meet Ophelia who is trying to find her sister that went into the haunted mansion known as Phantasma. This ghoulish place is not like the other haunted houses, it has challenges and riddles you must solve if you want to survive and win a single wish! Once inside the house, Ophelia meets a charming demon man named Blackwell (and a cute ghost kitty!) who offers to help her…in exchange for 10 years. Is it worth it? Thankfully he’s not only charming, he’s a hottie. Hot enough to even cause some night sweats! This book had the girls kicking their little feet and trying out sound effects so tune in!

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86 - A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come climb into a coffin with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor” by Kathryn Moon! This is book #1 in the Tempting Monsters series. When seductive Dr. Underwood meets hottie Esther, he offers her a position at the tantalizing and mysterious Rooksgrave Manor. Turns out Rooksgrave Manor is a palace of pleasure and Esther is REALLY good at her job. There are a variety of monster men who take a liking to Esther, which means the wide shoes whiteboard makes an appearance! This book is all spice and The Girls were squealing- in an educational way of course.

Come support The Girls for our very first LIVE episode! Limited space, save your spot below!

📍Venue is Parish in Downtown Austin, TX

🗓️ Sunday June 29th 6pm - 7pm CT

💰Tickets are FREE, venue minimum 2 drinks

RESERVE A SPOT ➡️ https://homebrewaustinliveshows.eventbrite.com

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85 - Wolf.e

Tue, 27 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come hop on a motorcycle with the Girls! This week, Vanessa is presenting “Wolf.e” by Paisley Hope! When sexy motorcycle president Gabriel Wolfe crosses paths with the beautiful Brinley Rose Beaumont (Brin for short), his engine starts to roar! This book had the girls squealing and squirming all while laughing and clutching! Play hide-and-seek, stick a tampon in your pocket, smear some strawberry jelly, and tune in!

Come support The Girls for our very first LIVE episode! Limited space, save your spot below!

📍Venue is Parish in Downtown Austin, TX

🗓️ Sunday June 29th 6pm - 7pm CT

💰Tickets are FREE, venue minimum 2 drinks

RESERVE A SPOT ➡️ https://homebrewaustinliveshows.eventbrite.com

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84 - Alive and Wells

Tue, 20 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come smell the lilacs with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Alive and Wells” by Bailey Hannah! This is book one in the Wells Ranch series and it had the girls kicking their little feet! When city babe Cecily Kennedy has to escape her bad marriage, she seeks refuge by helping out at Wells Ranch. Fresh air isn’t the only thing Cecily gets when she meets the brooding and moody RANCHER (NOT a cowboy!) Austin Wells. Austin can’t have his heart broken again, so he stays guarded and Cecily is hurt from her previous marriage so she must resist the temptation. As Cecily settles into the ways of the ranch, Austin settles into making sure she is safe and taken care of- in more ways than one! This book had all the little feet kicks and squeals of a rom-com, with a side of spit! Listen now and blast off with delight!

Thank you to Katie, Dell Books, and Penguin Random House for sending us a copy. All opinions and feet kicking are our own.

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83 - Forged In Blood

Tue, 13 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come attend Montridge University with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Forged in Blood” by Sadie Kincaid! This why-choose dark paranormal fantasy is book one in the Broken Bloodlines series. When little orphan Ophelia Hart (“pee pee pants” to her bullies) is offered an opportunity to attend the magical Montridge University she of course takes a chance and surprise! She's not like the other girls! When a group of sexy vampires take a liking to her, they go to flavortown and get addicted! How far will the guys go and how much will they risk for the opportunity to drink from her diva cup?! Listen now to find out!

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82 - Airpeen

Tue, 06 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come fly the friendly skies with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “AirPeen” by Holly Wilde! This book is so educational for all aviation enthusiasts. When flying Sentient Air, our FMC “Princess” really needed to relax, so she opted for an upgrade into the Exclusive Section. None of us have ever flown Exclusive so this book offers a peek behind the curtain of what really goes down when you have the whole row to yourself. The seats are just…different. Did you know you could use a tray table for that? Where does turbulence really come from? Do you really want to know? Too bad, you’ll find out!

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81 - Kiss of the Basilisk

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come wear a claw with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Kiss of the Basilisk” by Lindsay Straube. Originally called Split or Swallow, this is one of the most unhinged books Vanessa has ever read, so buckle up! When Temperance Verus (Tem for short) is ready to compete to win the prince’s hand in marriage, she has a few things to learn. Tem is paired with her personal Basilisk, Caspen, who not only is the BEST trainer for sexy seduction and bedroom skills, he’s also the serpent king! Caspen knows the best training is hands on but he can only do so much because he is sooooo in love with her. Tem seduces Caspen but she also wins the dating competition for the princes hand in marriage (it’s just a book!) As Tem gets closer and deeper with the serpent king and the prince, she’s too connected to both of them to choose! What is a gal to do?! Guess she will have to have everyone come together! From a quiver to a kingdom, Tem is not like the other girls!

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80 - People We Meet On Vacation

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come refuse to speak about what happened two years ago with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “People We Meet On Vacation” by Emily Henry! After a brief stop through Bible study and Lilith Fair, The Girls finally get around to the book where we meet NYC travel blogger Poppy and her longtime Ohio teacher friend Alex. Poppy and Alex used to spend summers traveling together…but. That was before the *event* that ruined the tour. But we can’t talk about it. After the two year break in friendship traveling, Poppy and Alex try again for a fun “just friends” trip to Palm Springs! This book has it all! Friends to lovers, back spasms, one bed, construction, and rain! Can they move past the thing that happened that we can’t talk about? Listen now to find out!

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79 - Chasing The Wild

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come get snowed in with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Chasing The Wild” by Elliot Rose! When veterinarian-in-training Layla Birch has some loose ends to tie up- like getting rid of her scammer boyfriend Kaycee, she heads to his small mountain town in the winter. When she meets a dark, sexy, rugged, older man named Colton Wilder she soon realizes not only is this man FINE, he’s Kaycee’s DAD?? How could such a twerp come from such a hottie? Kaycee sucks, so we get rid of him quickly, but, uh oh, the winter storm trapped Layla and Colt at his mountain ranch! There’s only one way to stay warm, and it’s not with the generator. This book has everything that could fill out a book trope bingo card, as well as Vanessa claiming it to be one of the nastiest and filthiest books she’s read! Saddle up!

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78 - Puck Me Secretly

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come catch a flight with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Puck Me Secretly” by Odette Stone! This is the first book in the Vancouver Wolves Hockey series. When Aurora “Rory” Ashford is on a flight and seated next to hottie Max Logan, their connection is so powerful the plane crashes! Rory can’t help but confess to her seatmate that she has never “reached her full potential” from a man! Thankfully they survive the crash and Max helps Rory reach new heights in the hotel room, only to leave in the morning before she wakes up. Once regular life resumes and Rory starts her new job with her dad as owners of the Vancouver hockey team, guess who skates up at the first practice? Plane crash hottie Max! If anyone found out about them it would really ruin the tour! Kick your little feet while listening to this, but not so much that you activate Emily’s vertigo! Also, do you think Chris Pine is Chuck Tingle?!

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77 - The Charlie Method

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come relieve your stress with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Charlie Method” by Elle Kennedy! This hot-off-the-presses book is #3 in the Campus Diary series. When student woman in STEM Charlotte Kingston gets super stressed out it gets her super horned up. When it’s time to release some of that stress, she becomes Charlie, a less inhibited version of herself who is only looking for sexual release. When swiping through a hook up app, she comes across two shirtless (and faceless) hotties! After a few steamy DMs and an eventual meetup, she realizes she actually knows these guys! Will Larson and Beckett Dunn are best friends who play hockey and do EVERYTHING together. This steamy book not only follows this throuple as they navigate their new world, but there’s a fanfic about Elizabeth the First and Alexander the Great sprinkled in?! Tune in to this episode so you don’t get sent back to Korea!

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76 - The Professional

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come sweat it out in the sauna with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Professional” by Kresley Cole! When hottie mafia enforcer Aleksandr 'The Siberian' Sevastyan is tasked with bringing Nebraskan Natalie Porter back to her mob boss father in Russia, he not only breaks her “manalyzer,” he breaks into her house! As much as he tries to stay professional, he realizes he simply must have her in all the steamy and rough ways. You’ll never look at a sauna ladle the same! Speaking of which, should we do a Belgium trip? This book is from 2014 so while there are Fall Out Boy lyrics, there’s not as much clarity as the girls would prefer! But at the end of the day, as always, it’s just a book!

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75 - Done and Dusted

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come back to your hometown with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Done and Dusted” by Lyla Sage! When Clementine “Emmy” Ryder heads home to small town Wyoming, she runs into none other than her brother’s-hottie-best-friend Luke Brooks! Emmy strolls into the single bar in town, and under the light of the neon moon, she and Luke realize they’ve grown up quite a bit since they last saw each other. From natural waterfalls to a fountain of whiskey from one mouth to another, this episode will get you back on the saddle and ready to kick your little feet!

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74 - Wicked Sexy

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Come into the alleyway with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Wicked Sexy” by J.T. Geissinger! When badass ex-special ops hottie Connor Hughes is tasked with helping a major movie studio stop an evil cyber criminal from exposing them, he enlists badass hacker girl Tabitha West. Tabitha isn’t like all the other badass hacker girls with pierced nipples, she also likes Hello Kitty! Tabitha was reluctant to help out Connor…until he told her who they would be going after. Tabby couldn’t refuse the opportunity to take down this evil man, but she also couldn’t refuse taking down her top for Connor! This spicy cat and mouse book will not only have you clutching your pearls, it has an exciting plot that will keep you on the end of your seat and pulling out your hair!

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73 - The Pucking Wrong Date

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come climb a ladder with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Pucking Wrong Date” by C.R. Jane! Bring yourself back into the “it’s just a book” mindset you had when The Girls covered the previous “Pucking” books in Episodes 27 and 41. When Disney Prince hottie Walker Davis is bit by the love bug for a mysterious beauty in a wig, he goes down HARD. Walker knows he must have her and be with her forever, no matter what. That’s all before he even knows she’s THE Olivia Darling! Olivia is basically Britney Spears in both the good and the not so great ways. Nothing will stop Walker from being with Olivia, and he shows it by protecting her from her mother, poking holes in condoms, and making a friendship bracelet in a pearl clutching place! As you repeat to yourself “it’s just a book..it’s just a book,” you’ll be kicking your little feet and feeling very educated…in a comedic way of course!

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72 - Bratva Devil

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come pee your pants with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Bratva Devil” by Sonja Grey! This is the second book in the Medvedev Bratva series, but you know we hardly ever read anything in order. When hot Bratva boss Volodya accidentally kidnaps the wrong girl, they make an agreement where Maddie will clean his house and he will take LOTS of intense showers. This episode has Emily finally learning what a Meet Cute is, Volodya learning about Maddie’s big purp, and Maddie learning just how comfortable it is to lie down on a big tree! Come along, Kiska, it’s time to surf the cosmos!

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71 - Twisted Lies

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come get a million followers with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Twisted Lies” by Ana Huang! This is book four in the ‘Twisted’ series that the girls also covered from Episode 12. When influencer Stella Alonzo is needing to up her social media content and busy business boy Christian Harper needs hot dates to events, they decide to do what every normal person does and fake date! He’s been obsessed with her for a while but he will NOT fall in love. Spoiler, he does! Grab your (ugly?) butterfly watch, your expensive emerald necklace, lean against a rock, and get allll twisted up!

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70 - A Deal with the Devil

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come celebrate Emily’s birthday with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “A Deal with the Devil” by Elizabeth O’Roark! This is book #1 in The Grumpy Devils series (The Girls covered book #3 of this series in Episode 28!) When Natalie (Tali, or Lady Di for short) gets an offer from her friend to leave her Margaritaville job and fill in as a personal assistant to handsome plastic surgeon Hayes Flynn, she gets more than she ever knew was possible! Not only is Natalie amazing at making smoothies, juggling two phones, and sending flowers to other women, she also brings out the soft and loving side of Hayes. This book has some of the BEST banter that had the girls kicking their little feet the whole time. Hayes may even be their new top book boyfriend! Head to your beach house, do it 16 times (educationally), wash your beige dress, and tune in!

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69 - The Fine Print

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come watch fireworks with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Fine Print” by Lauren Asher! This is book one in the Dreamland Billionaires series and it had the girls kicking their little feet! When busy business boy Rowan’s grandpa (Walt Disney) dies, he must bring up profits for Dreamland (Disneyland) in order to get his inheritance. Thankfully there’s a spunky, smartie, cutie named Zahra who has some great ideas on how to improve! After Rowan makes a fake alias to protect himself and get closer to Zahra, their connection becomes too much to resist!

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68 - Whispers of the Deep

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come under the sea with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Whispers of the Deep” by Emma Hamm. As one of many engineers, Mira has been a woman in STEM keeping her underwater city in working order. When she has a run in with a scary merman, Arges, who is determined to kill humans, something between them compels him to keep her alive. Arges not only keeps her alive, he makes her his love. Even with his gills, scales, fins, and screeching voice, Mira is totally into him. After some very convenient inventions and robot helpers, they manage to make it work, especially when it comes to his two members *wink*. Follow the current and tune in!

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67 - Zodiac Academy

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come enroll with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Zodiac Academy” by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti! This dark academia romance is just one in a long series of the same name. In this book, we meet twins Darcy and Tory Vega who learn they’re the Gemini twins of Fae Origin (?) and off to Zodiac Academy they go! Once they arrive, their immense powers are realized, and even though they are the rightful zodiacs (!?) who should control the throne, there are four hotties who are already on the throne! What are they gonna do!? So much and so little happens in this book, and it only takes place in a week! Let this caption compel you to tune in and listen!

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66 - Cleat Cute

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Come braid hair with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Cleat Cute” by Meryl Wilsner! This sapphic rivals to lovers novel follows Grace Henderson and Phoebe Matthews as they attend training for the US National Women’s Soccer Team…or are they in New Orleans on the pro team…maybe the club team? Don’t worry, Barbara gives a full and detailed description of the different levels of soccer teams at the beginning of the episode! Anyways, Grace is a sporty sports girl who has been a big time soccer star for a bit while Phoebe has idolized her, and now they’re on the same team! After a playful bet, ice is melted! Head to the locker room, straddle your teammate, count how many times we say “Cleat Cute”, and tune into your favorite podQUAST!

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65 - Passenger Princess

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 08:00:13 GMT

Come for a ride with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Passenger Princess” by Morgan Elizabeth! This grumpy/sunshine book follows Ava, who enters the Miss Americana beauty pageant on a whim to support her friends. Ava (Miss New Jersey) actually wins the grand title, much to the frustration of Miss Utah! Ava is assigned a big, handsome bodyguard named Jaime who has to protect Ava not only from danger, but also from his feelings. When a morality clause threatens both Ava’s need for Jamie and Jamie’s retirement (which is on the line!), can they be “good” or will they try those things she reads about in her spicy books? Listen to find out!

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64 - Can I Tell You Something?

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 08:00:04 GMT

Come skiing with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Can I Tell You Something?” by Holly June Smith! This snowy love story follows Hannah as she goes on her family’s annual Christmas ski trip at a French chalet. This year, her brother brings a friend named Cameron with a familiar voice…Hannah instantly recognizes Cameron as her favorite audio erotica narrator! Unfortunately it’s too late for Hannah to play it cool because she already sent him a bunch of DMs! This episode had the girls kicking their little feet and losing brain cells from headbands! Stir some Mac and Cheese, watch out for ghost brothers, and turn up the volume because it’s gonna get spicy!

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63 - Whispers of December

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 08:00:32 GMT

Come get cozy with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Whispers of December” by Maisie Myers. This forced-proximity one-bed novella follows our FMC December who is trying to heal her broken heart at her Grandpa’s cabin in the woods. December’s peace and quiet is busted by Paxton Rhodes, whose car broke down in the snow with no way to get a tow. Once December feels him up and realizes that’s not a gun in his pocket…she lets Paxton stay on the sofa. These two are hot, horned up, and locked up! Is the way to mend a broken heart through the (vagina)? The way to Paxton’s heart is through December’s bowels! When she accidentally farts in the middle of the night, he knows she’s the one for him. That’s true love, right? Microwave some food, make a little fort in the living room, and tune in.

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62 - Wreck The Halls

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 08:00:51 GMT

Come get the band back together with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Wreck The Halls” by Tessa Bailey! This holiday romance follows Melody and Beat (yes his name is BEAT) who are both the children of rockstars who swore they would never play together again. When approached by a reality show to get the duo to come together and play for one night only, Beat (BEAT) knows he will need Melody’s help. Unfortunately Beat (BEAT) has a deep, dark, shameful secret that he won’t trust anyone with…except maybe Melody. Get on your private jet, have a snowball fight, join a cult, and come together…it is the holidays after all.

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61 - How My Neighbor Stole Christmas

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 08:00:52 GMT

Come compete for Christmas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “How My Neighbor Stole Christmas” by Meghan Quinn! When Storee Taylor comes back to Kringletown (not Whoville, but not not Whoville) to visit her Aunt Cindy (not Cindy Lou Hou, but not not Cindy Lou Hou) she is reunited with former friend Cole Black. It’s Aunt Cindy’s dying wish to win the town’s Kringle competition, but it’s Cole’s wish to steal the glory from Storee! This cutesy friends-to-long distance enemies-to-neighbors-to-competitors-to-lovers holiday book will have you kicking your little feet, questioning if your pH could handle it, and wondering what a Kringle is! We’ll never know, and maybe we don’t want to find out!

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60 - It's a Holiday Miracle!

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 08:00:21 GMT

Come open your box with The Girls! This week Barbara is giving the gift of two books! First is the 8 page novella “Milked by Santa Clause” by CA Carbury. When sexy, Christmas-loving Mindy is visited by hot Santa, he’s ready to eat her cookies, but Mindy doesn’t have any milk! Thanks to Santa’s Christmas bifurcating magic she can make some herself! Drink up! Our second novella is “Sentient Menorah Candle Bisexual Hanukkah Orgy” by Chuck Tingle! When Levi (or Tim? but then Levi again) has fallen out of the holiday spirit, he searches for a new tradition. Luckily there is a sentient candle sex club that just so happens to have availability on the fourth night of Hanukkah! But there’s not enough lube to go around for all the candles! Thankfully with the magic of Hanukkah, it lasts and they all cum it out! This episode will have you asking “why did you do this to us”, but it’s the holiday season and we all get our fill!

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59 - Light's Out

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 08:00:36 GMT

Come scroll for thirst traps with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting Lights Out by Navessa Allen! When busy ER babe Ali comes across masked hottie ‘The Faceless Man’ on TikTok, she does what any gal would do: she likes, subscribes and comments! Little does Ali know, the masked hottie is actually her friend’s roommate, Josh! Josh decides to have some fun with Ali before she figures out who’s behind the mask, and she LIKES it. Grab your gun, your knife, and a pearl necklace, listen now and repeat - it’s just a book, it’s just a book!

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58 - Guarding Temptation

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 08:00:15 GMT

Come sleep on the sofa with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Guarding Temptation” by Talia Hibbert! After an educational update on Blue Eyed Kayla Jade, the girls eventually get to the book! Guarding Temptation follows investigative journalist Nina Chapman who is having to hide out from angry Brexit supporters with the only man she feels safe with - her brother’s best friend! James Foster is not just a hottie, he’s sooo in love with her! They are both sooooo into each other, but they mustn’t confess their feelings until they fool around, watch each other play with themselves, go to a bounce house and have a tickle fight! They’re also British! Apologies in advance for Emily’s accent work this episode!

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57 - Priest

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 08:00:14 GMT

Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Priest” by Sierra Simone! This sinful book follows Poppy as she moves to a small town to get away from her troubling past. When she turns to God for clarity, she meets hot priest Tyler Bell. As Poppy’s confessions to Father Bell get more steamy, the tension between them grows until they can’t handle it! They have no choice but to soak in their love for each other. This episode had Vanessa throwing her papers and even confessing something of her own! Say your prayers and tune in!

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56 - King of Wrath

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 08:00:32 GMT

Come take a limo ride with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “King of Wrath” by Ana Huang! This is book 1 in the Kings of Sin series and there is plenty of sin! When busy business billionaire Dante Russo is blackmailed into an arranged marriage to mega babe Vivian Lau, stars collide and diamonds sparkle! This book had the girls slipping out of their seats, pointing their little toes, and questioning whether soy sauce tastes good on ice cream. Or maybe you’re more of a pickles, pringles, and pudding kinda snacker? Listen and let us know!

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55 - Butcher and Blackbird

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 12:55:15 GMT

Come enjoy some ice cream with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Butcher & Blackbird” by Brynne Weaver! This dark romance features Sloane and Rowan who are rival murderers. But don’t worry, they only kill bad people! When they decide to join forces for a friendly competition, things get VERY friendly. This book has it all! Mummy mommy issues, delicious rump roast, anatomy class, and boot kicks! Tune in and let us know if Cookies and Cream would be your choice of ice cream flavor!

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54 - Triceratops and Bottoms

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 07:00:42 GMT

You’re invited to Barbara’s Dino birthday party with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Triceratops and Bottoms” by Lola Faust! When super horned up sex addict Erin gets bored with what the alien future has to offer, she travels back in time to have her needs met! Unfortunately Erin couldn’t go back to WW1 trench foot times, so she goes to the original Jurassic Park! Once there she lays eyes on a stunning Tri(michael)CERAtops, seduces him with a dance, and he is TRI horned up. Ick. Get ready to feel sick and possibly DNF!

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53 - Icebreaker

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 07:00:52 GMT

Come celebrate the one year anniversary of the podcast with The Girls! Our first episode came out one year ago, and to celebrate, Emily and Vanessa birthday blindside Barbara! Emily (yes, Emily) is presenting her very first book: “Icebreaker” by Hannah Grace! When bossy figure skater Anastasia Allen is forced to share a skating rink with cinnamon roll hockey player Nate Hawkins, things get so hot they could melt the ice. This episode is a long one because it’s baby’s first book and there’s a whole scrapbook to commemorate it. Watch Emily sweat through her notes with sparkling commentary like “it’s fine, it doesn’t matter.” *flips page* Squeeze into the back of an Uber, remember Aaron SUCKS, and turn up Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift, because it’s gonna be a wild ride to The Olympics.

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52 - Reckless

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 07:00:23 GMT

Come pump gas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Reckless”, the fourth book from the Chestnut Springs series by Elsie Silver! This book follows Winter as she comes to Chestnut Springs to reconcile with her sister Summer (from book 1 and Episode 25). Just as she is getting into town, she meets hunky bull rider Theo, who manages to tell her he’s got a “small one” in their first meeting. But apparently that “small one” can do A LOT. One drink coaster contract and nine months later…baby makes three! But it takes 18 months for awareness of three! Without giving too much away, this book has time jumps, fade to blacks, mis/non communication, baby stuff, and Vanessa was STILL IN?! Listen now to see what had the girls yelling and kicking their little feet.

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51 - Play Along

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 07:00:13 GMT

Come stretch out your groin with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Play Along”, the fourth book from The Windy City series by Liz Tomforde! When hottie shortstop Isaiah talks to PT cutie Kennedy K in the bathroom, he is suddenly sooo obsessed with her. But they work together which is soooo forbidden..too bad they just got married in Vegas! Now they must Play Along and fall in love for real. This book had Barbara blasting off and in soooo deep because it had her triple dipper of love - Chili’s, spaghetti, and platform vans! So pick a favorite color and take a listen to kick your little feet off too!

New Episodes out every Tuesday! Join our Patreon to receive early (and bonus!) episodes and more! Patreon.com/ClutchMyPearlsPod

New Episodes out every Tuesday! Join our Patreon to receive early, ad- free (and bonus!) episodes and more! Patreon.com/ClutchMyPearlsPod

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50 - Praise

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 05:00:28 GMT

Come say “yes sir” with The Girls! From The Salacious Players Club series, Vanessa is presenting “Praise” by Sarah Cate! When Charlie (Charlotte for short and direct) breaks up with her stupid boyfriend, she has to go collect a rent check from his father, Emerson Grant. Little does she know she’ll be on her hands and knees begging for daddy’s praise. Tune in to see if you can get through the episode without kicking your little feet off, because this book made Barbara ink and Emily’s diaper FULL.

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49 - Desperate Measures

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 07:00:57 GMT

Come experience a whole new world with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Desperate Measures” from the Wicked Villain series by Katee Robert! This is a totally different interpretation of the Aladdin universe! When Yasmina (not Jasmine, but yes Jasmine) wakes up to the news her dad is dead, she must run with consensual non consent into Jafar’s arms! Although Barbara reminds us not to ask any questions, you won’t be able to stop yourself from wondering: was that the best use of Rajah? Have you seen American President? And why does Hades keeps showing up in our books?!

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48 - Unhinged

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 07:00:41 GMT

Come slam the door with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Unhinged” by Vera Valentine! This book truly lives up to its name and will leave you wondering if your door is a descendent of Zeus! The story is entirely from the door’s POV (yes, it’s a literal DOOR). It’s the door to Tana’s apartment, he’s been keeping an eye on her, and he wants to be her biggest protector. A literal door can only do so much, so to become human, the door just needs his knob turned by true love’s…you get the picture. Make sense?! *sigh* Sure it does! It helps if you envision Idris Elba. Knock knock, come in!

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47 - Sinners Anonymous

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 07:00:08 GMT

Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Sinners Anonymous” by Somme Sketcher. In an effort to save her nature preserve, bird loving Rory (or Aurora for short…) is engaged to a bad bulldog-looking man named Big Al. But as she soon finds out, his hottie nephew Angelo is the one with the real power. Is it too late for her to get out of the marriage? Find out! Oh, and there’s also bird stuff, a confession phone line, bird words, location dementia, more bird stuff, pearl necklaces, and even more bird stuff! Even with all that this book will have you kicking your little feet and saying “what the flamingo!”

New Episodes out every Tuesday! Join our Patreon to receive early (and bonus!) episodes and more! Patreon.com/ClutchMyPearlsPod

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46 - Celestial Glorbosis: Of Peace and Poimals

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 07:00:25 GMT

Come save humanity with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting the world premiere of “Celestial Glorbosis: Of Peace and Poimals” by Jace Hammercock. This episode is unique because The Girls are joined by Jace Hammercock (pen name of Geoff Ramsey and Gavin Free from the Regulation Podcast) for an exclusive interview to discuss whatever the hell they’ve written. This 13 page novella that begins mid-adventure is out of this world - a “wide shoes” featuring an Alabama Texas Oil and Cattle man named Girthyll, a supple FMC with a Cockney accent named Gavalina Sploogery, and a sexual pleasure alien named Glorble X. We usually assure you it’ll all make sense once you listen, but we can’t guarantee it this time. Emily tried to be a supportive wife and have no icks…she failed, but will you?

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45 - Haunting Adeline

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 07:00:57 GMT

Come enjoy getting scared with The Girls! This week Vanessa is continuing her bad boy era with “Haunting Adeline” by HD Carlton. This book was not only heavily recommended by our listeners, it comes with a FULL page of trigger warnings! The Girls are all in and along for the ride…but ready to get out by the end. When scare-happy Adeline moves into her dead grandma’s spooky house, dark Scorpio stalker Zade Meadows decides to focus his single white eye on her. This book has everything you could imagine from “dark romance” as well as everything you couldn’t, and it isn’t even the baddest boy Vanessa has read! So grab a rose, sip your whiskey, and remember… it’s just a book.

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44 - The Maddest Obsession

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 07:00:40 GMT

Count to three and come with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Maddest Obsession,” the second book of the Made Series also seen in episodes 2 and 16! In this mafia romance we have Christian Allister, the cold, controlling, orderly, OCD counting, sexy mafia man who also works for the FBI! Then there’s Gianna, our sexy, sassy, can’t be controlled, “not like the other girls” FMC. Over the span of 7 years, Gianna might get married and widowed a few times, but her true love is Christian. This is not The Sopranos, but Emily manages to bring it up at every chance. Tune in and kick your little feet because this book is once, twice, three times a good one!

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43 - Den of Vipers

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 07:00:49 GMT

Come pay off your father’s debt with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Den of Vipers” by K.A. Knight! This why choose (wide shoes) dark romance has everything…maybe too much for some! When mafia hotties Ryder, Kenzo, Garrett, and Diesel collect their debt in the form of sassy babe Roxy…she doesn’t go willingly. Thankfully everyone involved likes to put up a fight and use sharp objects. This episode had Emily crossing her eyes, Vanessa kicking her little feet, and Barbara buffering, what will it have you doing?!

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42 - Kissing The Coronavirus

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 07:00:41 GMT

Come test positive with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Kissing the Coronavirus” by M.J. Edwards! This 15 page novella (if you don’t count page 9) was brought as revenge on Vanessa for blindsiding Barbara in the July Patreon-exclusive episode. When woman-in-STEM Dr. Alexa Ashingtonford is working on a cure for the newly discovered COVID-19, things get a little…testy. Even though this book feels like a MadLibs about a science lab, you’ll never guess how goat eyes, microwaved fish, and a floral sweater are involved! Nothing about this book is serious, which is why The Girls don’t take it too seriously! It’s better to just laugh than think about it too much.

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41 - The Pucking Wrong Guy

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 10:26:11 GMT

Come climb Jacob’s Ladder with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Pucking Wrong Guy” by C.R. Jane! As we continue the “Pucking Wrong" series we started in episode 27, we meet Ari Lancaster and Blake (or Serena!). When Ari crosses paths with his long lost foster care first love, he doesn’t let her know he recognizes her. Instead he brings in his old stalker pal Lincoln Daniels to help with his own stalking. When Ari assumes the identity of Blake’s ex and finds himself in a closet playing 7min in heaven, all is revealed…and it’s HUGE! This episode will have you screaming Holy Batman, so tune in and remember: it’s just fiction.

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40 - Ransom

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 07:00:17 GMT

Come ask “What’s in the box?!” with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting with a physical copy of “Ransom” by Julie Garwood! This book is set in the medieval Scottish highlands and follows our FMC Gillian and MMC Brodick! There are also at least 13 more people and since Emily is not into historical romance or meeting a lot of characters, Barbara thankfully came prepared with a whiteboard! Check out our YouTube video to follow along! Anyways, Gillian is English and Brodick is Scottish, their worlds collide in the animated Robin Hood universe, and they’re looking for a mystery box along with their sooooo hot friends, Ariana Grande, and a couple of maybe-dead but maybe-not-dead kids. But first they have to consummate their marriage. Make sense? Of course it does!

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39 - Heartless

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 07:00:41 GMT

Come throw lettuce heads out of the top window with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Heartless” by Elsie Silver! Part of the Chestnut Springs series, this book brings us back to the cowboy brothers we met in Episode 25 “Flawless”. This book is focused on grumpy cowboy Cade who needs help with his little boy Luke. When fun city girl Willa is hired to help out, her panties literally drop. This steamy book will leave you swooning over the banter, the sweet and spice of Cade, and it’ll have you ready to do whatever it takes to quiet your mouth!

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38 - Ruthless Creatures

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 06:00:39 GMT

Come collect a debt with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Ruthless Creatures” by JT Geissinger! Part of the Queens and Monsters series, this book brings us back into the world of mafia romance. Five years after Natalie’s soon to be husband disappears, tall hunky Kage with a K shows up to collect a debt. But what is the debt?! Don’t start *Russian* Barbara for that information because you’ll have to wait until the end. This soap opera of a book will have you kicking your little feet, warming up your ink pot, and skipping across Lake Tahoe with its SPICE!

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37 - Devourer Of Men

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 07:00:11 GMT

Follow The Girls to the second star to the right and straight on till morning…to Neverland! This week Vanessa is presenting “Devourer of Men” by Nikki St Crowe! Part of a series of the reimagined Peter Pan universe, this book is focused on Wendy, Captain Hook, and the crocodile. But this Croc is a man who eats..peanuts? When Wendy goes missing for 200 years, tensions rise between Hook and Croc. But once Wendy is found, those tensions…come to a head. Tune in to see how The Girls manage to get confused immediately, and then decide to make it all about wrestling! Woo! This book is so spicy we can hardly talk about it in the description, so un-cork it and find out why!

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36 - Caught Up

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 07:00:01 GMT

Come cure your daddy issues with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Caught Up” by Liz Tomforde! The Girls continue the Windy City Series, first seen in episodes 1 and 21! When independent pastry chef Miller Montgomery leaves her commitment-free life in a van to come nanny for Major League Baseball Daddy Kai Rhodes, it’s a home run! As always, this episode is all over the place but eventually the girls get the gist of the book! It’s time to gently put down your glasses, clench your thick thighs, try to say “mama” with baby Max, and discover whether the missing ingredient all along…was love. Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found and #linkinbio

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35 - Stuffed

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 07:00:30 GMT

Come snuggle your favorite pillow with The Girls! This week Barbara is hungover and Vanessa is presenting a cure with “Stuffed” by Sylvia Morrow! Gamer girl Anne can’t stand human touch, so she connects DEEPLY with her favorite…pillow. Yes. Her pillow. It may look like any other pillow, but it has a magical phoenix feather in it! Of course. So as Anne is grinding away, the pillow starts to come to life. Yes. Her pillow. But now her pillow has a name, Ori. This book may not have cured Barbara’s hangover but we did learn a lot! Such as representation matters, and if a pillow tentacle isn’t enough you can always bring a goldfish to life for more pleasure. Is this all just be schizophrenic episode of Anne’s? Listen and decide for yourself! Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found and #linkinbio

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34 - Velvet

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 07:00:40 GMT

Put on your mask and go undercover with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Velvet” by Lisette Marshall! When Princess Viviette senses trouble in her medieval times kingdom, she goes to her Dad’s right hand Spymaster, Jaghar. Jaghar just so happens to fall in love with Viviette, but his way of getting information from the enemy involves seduction. This Princess may be a virgin, but this spymaster will teach her the ways of seducing her enemies as well as exploring new territories! This episode will have you bathing in excitement and clutching your little butts!

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33 - Morning Glory Milking Farm

Tue, 28 May 2024 07:00:11 GMT

Pay off your student loans with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Morning Glory Milking Farm” by C.M. Nascosta! When no-show-sock-wearing millennial Violet is down on her luck, she gets a job at the local pharmaceutical milking farm! When busy business bull Rourke comes to be milked, Violet realizes he’s not like the other Minotaurs. This heavy load of a book is not only educational, but it might be Vanessa’s no icks! Straddle your massage chair, try to relax, and enjoy! Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found and #linkinbio

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32 - The Love Hypothesis

Tue, 21 May 2024 07:00:21 GMT

Come cure cancer with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Love Hypothesis” by Ali Hazelwood! This is Barbara’s comfort read, and if the Libra inside her allowed it - her favorite book. When women-in-STEM scientist Olive Smith starts fake dating big-handed professor Adam Carlsen… Bunsen burners get cranked up! This episode will have you kicking your little feet straight out, wondering if Olivia Coleman would’ve been a better Olive, and realizing The Girls know NOTHING about Star Wars! Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found!

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31 - For The Fans

Tue, 14 May 2024 07:00:36 GMT

Hit that subscribe button with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “For The Fans” by Nyla K! This book features Kyron and Avi, stepbrothers who have nothing in common. But when strapped for cash, they do what any Busy Business Boys would do…they start an OnlyFans! What starts out as “just for the fans” and a way to get money becomes so much more. This book will have you cheesin’, pearl clutching, kicking your little feet, and hoping it ended 200 pages sooner! Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found and #linkinbio

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30 - Conquered By Clippy

Tue, 07 May 2024 07:00:12 GMT

Go down with the ship of “No icks” with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting a truly unhinged request from Emily… “Conquered by Clippy” by Leonard Delaney. When busy business blogger and woman in STEM Christie Aackerlund is sent on an assignment by Phil Gates she learns how beneficial it can be to receive assistance from a familiar friend…Clippy. Yes, Clippy the original AI assistant paperclip. This book has so many firsts for The Girls. Hear all about “lady sockets”, “butt stuff”, and how Xbox controllers vibrate! Stay tuned until the end because The Girls also travel to a McDonald’s inspired land where Mayor McCheese is up to no good! Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found and #linkinbio

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29 - Birthday Girl

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 07:00:13 GMT

Come blow out your birthday candle with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Birthday Girl” by Penelope Douglas. When hard working hottie Jordan is alone on her birthday (because her boyfriend Cole sucks), she meets a hard working hottie stranger, Pike. Jordan and Pike have an instant connection, but Pike isn’t like the other guys he’s Cole’s…DAD! This episode is a wild one, with forbidden love, swimming pools, age gaps, and a loofah! By the end of this episode Mr. Lawson goes from being Cole’s Dad… to Jordan’s Daddy.

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28 - The Devil You Know

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 07:00:16 GMT

Come end Gender Discrimination with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Devil You Know” by Elizabeth O’Roark! This enemies to lovers book follows hot lawyer Ben Tate and his coworker busy business lawyer Gemma Charles. These two have a lot of BANTER and the girls love it! Do they actually end gender discrimination or does it just continue in a different font? Who cares, it’s only a book! Put on your highest heels, brush both of your two perfect teeth, give in to the devil on your shoulder, and…BEG. Episode available now everywhere podcasts are found and #linkinbio

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27 - The Pucking Wrong Number

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 07:00:06 GMT

Come stalk your soulmate with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Pucking Wrong Number” by CR Jane! When hot hockey player Lincoln Daniel accidentally texts mystery babe Monroe, sparks fly and stalking intensifies! This book will have you questioning how far is too far to go for love. Is it okay to have a tracker on or…IN your crush? Be a good girl and get your pee pad because you’re gonna ink!

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26 - Montana Sky

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 07:00:22 GMT

Come read your dead dad’s will with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Montana Sky” by Nora Roberts! Barbara brought this artifact all the way from her angsty teen years and her step mom’s bookcase! In this book we have three estranged sisters who have to live on their father’s ranch for a full year so they can get their inheritance. Of course there are three local cuties to keep them company, and a murderer?! This episode is mostly The Girls arguing about casting each character while Barbara tries really hard to have them follow along with the story. Can you follow along? Should they rename the show to ADHD Book Club? Which one was Shania Twain? Let’s go girls! Listen now to find out!

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25 - Flawless

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 07:00:58 GMT

Try to hang on for 8 seconds with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Flawless” by Elsie Silver! When superstar bull rider Rhett needs some image rehabbing after a big milk fiasco, his boss’s daughter Summer is assigned to keep an eye on him. This episode includes some of your favorite book tropes and some of our least favorite technical difficulties! How many times will Barbara and Emily sidetrack Vanessa’s book by talking about Gone With the Wind? How many glasses of milk could you drink before the episode ends? Giddy up, strap in, and open the chute! Got Milk?

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24 - Ice Planet Barbarians

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 07:00:52 GMT

Brace for impact with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Ice Planet Barbarians” by Ruby Dixon. This book starts with Georgie being kidnapped in the middle of the night and waking up on the way to an unknown planet! On the way there, the spaceship crash lands onto an icy cold planet full of snow and big sexy blue aliens! Georgie is supposed to go find help for the other women stuck huddling for warmth, but instead she gets warmed up by her new soulmate Vektal! This book will have you pondering how far you’d go for love - would you wear poo covered clothing for days on end? Would you agree to get a parasitic worm? Would it help to know your new lover doesn’t speak a word of English and has a ridged tongue?! Take a journey with The Girls, you never know where you’ll land!

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23 - Nanny for The Neighbors

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 07:00:11 GMT

Help raise a baby with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Nanny for The Neighbors” by Lily Gold! Cyrus, Sebastian and Jack do everything (everything!) together, but when a baby appears on the doorstep, they realize they can’t do this alone. Thankfully their hot neighbor, Beth, is a nanny! Beth doesn’t just take care of the baby, she takes care of the guys too! This book takes place in London so Emily tries out all the different accents horribly, Vanessa brought notecards like she is Maury Povich revealing who the dad is, and Barbara worries about her thing for Sebastian! Tune in to find out who the father is…and who the daddy is!

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22 - A Sinner's Promise

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 07:00:58 GMT

Head to an open house down under with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “A Sinners Promise” by Kylie Kent! This book was recommended by none other than “Shirley” our infamous one star reviewer from episode two! When busy business real estate woman Eloise is asked to show a house to mafia boss Gio, things get spicy! This episode is all over the place, sometimes it has to do with the book and sometimes it’s just three ADHD women talking! There’s daddy revenge, forehead kisses, muppet babies, airport etiquette and you even learn how to only cross one eye! Tune in and eat your chicken wings - we won’t watch!

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21 - The Right Move

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 11:31:37 GMT

Come shoot your shot with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Right Move” by Liz Tomforde. This book is the sequel to our Episode One feature “Mile High”! We are back in The Windy City, but this time we are focusing on the hot new captain of the Devils basketball team Ryan Shay and his sister’s coworker Indy! It’s a real grumpy-sunshine/messy-tidy fake dating to lovers kind of book. This episode will have you questioning everything! Is playing defense in basketball just miming? Is that proper massage technique? The mascot is a murder accomplice?! And what did Drake have to do with 9/11?! Grab your hot sauce, raise your hand, and tune in!

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20 - The Wedding Crasher

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 08:00:40 GMT

Come with The Girls to a wedding and yell “I Object!” This week Barbara is presenting “The Wedding Crasher” by Mia Sosa. In this millennial rom-com of a book, follow Dean and Solange as they fake date their way into love. In this book we go axe throwing, fake screw driving to Pony by Ginuwine, watch a sex show, and even help with a birth! Could this be considered the sequel to The Wedding Planner movie? Is this the reason Emily doesn’t read books? Are you invisible if you close your eyes? Listen to find out!

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19 - Bride

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 08:00:02 GMT

Head to the Southwest Omegaverse with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting a HOT OFF THE PRESSES book, “Bride” by Ali Hazelwood! The girls barely cover everything that happens in the book, but it has them all KNOTTED up. When vampire Misery Lark is sent to marry Lowe Moreland to keep the peace between species, things get Baja blasted! Close the blackout curtains, take a hot bath, and avoid eye contact because things are getting spicy!

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18 - Knot So Lucky

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 08:00:34 GMT

Come along with The Girls and VIVA LAS VEGAS! This week Vanessa is presenting “Knot So Lucky” by Trilina Pucci! What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas, except when a judge makes you stay! This book follows busy business esthetician Elle and the hot shot NFL quarterback Crew Matthews after a night of partying..and their wedding!? Even though Elle and Crew want to get a divorce, they make sure to

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17 - Pucking Around

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 08:00:23 GMT

Put on your wide shoes and come to a hockey game with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting one of her favorite books, “Pucking Around” by Emily Rath. In this ‘why choose hockey romance’ we meet Rachel who is not like the other girls, and the newest physical therapist for a hockey team of hotties! When Rachel starts a relationship with Caleb, Jake, AND Ilmari everyone gets to experience new things together! Grab your Barbies to try and figure out how some of the new positions work, and charge up your tentacle because this is a whole new world!

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16 - The Sweetest Oblivion

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 08:00:53 GMT

Come burn down a gas station with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Sweetest Oblivion” by Danielle Lori from the Made series! When hot mob boss Nicolas is set to marry sweet Elena’s younger sister, things don’t go quite as planned. Nicolas only wants to smoke cigs and make his haters to choose whether they keep their left or right hand. Come sit on a kitchen counter and get your ponytail grabbed, because this book will make you swoon!

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15 - Mistakes Were Made

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 08:00:16 GMT

Come to parents weekend with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner! When cool girl Cassie meets a hot female doctor at a bar they have a hot and heavy one night stand, until the next morning when Cassie realizes the hot doc is actually her friends mom! This episode is steamy and has everything women want! Higher education! Brunch! Bathroom makeouts! Halter Tops! Carmen Sandiego! Foolin' around in a midsize sedan! Enjoy this sapphic novel and learn that a Barbara book is actually a Barbara blindside!

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14 - Maneater

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

You’re invited to come to the 80s with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Maneater” by Emily Antionette. The book follows Shane, who is a virgin-witch-nerd and Elle, who is a mega-babe-succubus! Shane isn’t like the other boys, he’s a good boy and when he saves Elle (after a lot of asking for consent!) from some sketchy witches she makes him come in his pants! Which is a pretty big compliment! This week Emily continues to be terrible at envisioning celebrities, we learn Barbara’s ick, and as hard as Emily and Barbara try to get Vanessa off track, she keeps us focused and won’t let us ruin this book she really likes!

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13 - Neon Gods

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

Grab your AirPods and cross The River Styx with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting a listener’s recommendation of “Neon Gods” by Katee Roberts. When Zeus announces he is engaged to Persephone (news to her!) she runs away to Hades in the Underworld. This book is set in a modern day Olympus, which is basically Gotham City… so does that make Hades The Penguin? This episode is carrying on the girls’ 2024 trend of being all over the place. The First Coming is so good it causes actual fireworks! We also get an insight into Emily’s imagination and it is…stimulating. Is our 13th episode lucky or are we cursed? Do any of our husband’s know how to quietly make biscuits? Have you seen Bedazzled? Try to make it through the whole episode without using the safe word “pomegranate!”

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12 - Twisted Games

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

Get a suntan, read a book, and kiss under the moonlight with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Twisted Games” by Ana Huang. When stoic bodyguard Rhys Larson is assigned to Princess Bridget Von Ascheberg, he realizes she is not like the other girls. Rhys doesn’t break the rules, but Bridget has a bucket list and love is risky! The Girls are all over the place this week and eventually get to the book. Can you name a hot celebrity? Somehow Emily can’t. Who is your book boyfriend? If she is on her back, where are his knees? Is Rhys our new book boyfriend? Tune in, Princess.

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11 - Mistletoe Bet

Tue, 26 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Take a guilt trip home for the holidays with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Mistletoe Bet” by Maren Moore. When busy business woman Quinn comes home for Christmas and runs into festive small town doctor Parker, the grumpy sunshine dynamic sets in. Even Barbara is clutching her pearls this week! Can Parker get Quinn to fall for Christmas, and for him? Is it pee? Is this the first assault we actually condone? Does a Henley t-shirt turn you on? Listen and find out for yourself!

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10 - Lovelight Farms

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Put on your comfy pants and buy a Christmas Tree farm with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting Lovelight Farms by B.K. Borison. This friends to lovers book has the girls getting all heated and it’s not because of the hot coco! When Stella enters an Instagram contest to save her tree farm, she persuades her NYC bff Luka (ayeee) to pretend to be in love with her but…shocker…he already is! Unhook your own bra, eat some grilled cheese and decide for yourself if this is spicy enough!

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09 - Satan: A Christmas Monster Romance

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Write a letter with The Girls and throw it in the fire to summon Santa..err Satan. This week Barbara is presenting our first repeat author episode with Satan: A Christmas Monster Romance by Layla Fae. In this book, Daisy has a horrible sister, neglectful family and dyslexia! Daisy’s dyslexia gets her into a fiery situation with the devil himself. This episode will have you questioning whether or not the devil has fingers, paws or toe beans? Is Gene Simmons satan? Have you completed all your 7 deadly sins? What does the tail do? Is this where George R.R Martin has been?

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08 - Tis the Season for Revenge

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Fire up the group chat, get drunk, dye your hair blonde, and go on a mission with The Girls to destroy your ex! This week, Vanessa is presenting “Tis the Season for Revenge” by Morgan Elizabeth! When Abigail gets dumped by her lawyer boyfriend she realizes the only way to get even is to get under his boss Damien! This book is cute, fluffy and dirty! This book will get you into the winter holiday season and end with an invite to the company Christmas party! They even see The Rockettes! Put your phone on speaker and mewl for a MAN who understands consent!

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07 - Choosing Theo

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Join The Girls as they get whisked away by lizard people in the night! This week we have our first alien smut from Vanessa with “Choosing Theo” by Victoria Aveline. Jade is taken to a distant planet where it’s the law to choose a husband. Thankfully for Jade, Theo graduated with honors from Husband School! This book has everything! There’s pointy ears, darkening eyes, tattoos and FORTY growls! This episode will leave you cheesing, clapping your little hands, and wondering how far you would go for free healthcare.

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06 - Gobble Me, Swallow Me

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Come join The Girls for a double serving Thanksgiving-themed episode! Just like the holidays, this is a very chaotic experience. You won’t be the same after today! Our first dish comes from Barbara and it is Stuffed by The Were-Turkey by Tate McKirk. In this 13-page erotica there isn’t a lot of pearls being clutched, but we are holding back a gag! Josette is a vegan who rescues a turkey and keeps it in her bathroom. When some shampoo is spilled her whole life changes, and you realize turkeys don’t have nipples! Our second serving is from Vanessa, who brings Full Sack by Layla Fae. In this book you’ll learn what a raccoon has to do with Thanksgiving! Would someone with a magic ballsack that can grant wishes from blow jobs be named Howard?! At least it tastes like buttered rum! You may lose your appetite after this but if we can make it through, you can too! Happy Turkey Day!

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05 - The Hating Game

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Grab your coworkers and head down to HR with The Girls as they discuss The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! This weeks episode is a coworker enemies to lovers book presented by Barbara to Emily and Vanessa! This book is such a slice of 2016 - including unrealistic work promotions, manic pixie dream girls named Lucinda, and a guy named Joshua who is basically a floor lamp! Is this book even smut? Does it warrant a snail trail, a thigh clench, or some chili peppers?

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04 - Brutal Prince

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

You’re invited to join The Girls at the wedding of Ada and Callum! This week Vanessa is presenting the mafia romance “Brutal Prince” by Sophie Lark. One family is Italian, one family is Irish, and they are all rivals! Will the wedding end this long feud or will there be a funeral? The girls discuss whether or not Ada actually set the fire (…she did) or is that just her being 20 years old? If you have a strawberry allergy that swells up your face, could that make other places swell? How soon do you need to bring out the epipen? How did Callum do in the election? And, as always, our favorite 1 star reviews!

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03 - Hollows Grove

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Gather 'round all you Ghouls and Girlies and ride your broomstick with The Girls as they discuss Hollows Grove by Lee Jacquot! This week's episode is a Halloween novella presented by Barbara and Vanessa. This book centers around Evelyn and her best-friend's brother Dorian. There is a lot to route through this week, especially since Dorian is a man who can really accomplish a lot in 15 minutes! Can Evelyn get a new high score? Is it possible to orgasm from just boob touching? Is 20 years of torment and startling someone considered foreplay? How much is too much to know about your brother? Were the shady tacos even good? And, as always, our favorite one-star reviews!

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02 - The Darkest Temptation

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Join the girls as they collapse into the arms of a forbidden love with The Darkest Temptation by Danielle Lori! This weeks episode is a toxic, dark romance, mafia trope presented by Barbara to Vanessa and Emily. This book has everything! Family drama! Kidnapping! Deranged love! Kittens! Dog kennels! The Opera! What's "the knee thing" and have you ever experienced it? Sneak away with the girls as they find out if Ronan really is the devil in disguise - or is he Mila's savior? As always, our favorite one-star reviews including an iconic one from our new bff Shirley.

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01 - Mile High

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 00:21:00 GMT

Come fly with the girls on their first hockey romance as they explore the book Mile High by Liz Tomforde. This weeks episode is a joint presentation from Vanessa and Barbara to Emily. Find out about the first cumming! How many rings are too many? Is it really possible to be in the mood after a deep dish pizza? And as always, our favorite one-star reviews! Pack your bags, and bring your emotional baggage as we unpack the erotic joining of Stevie and Zander!

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