trade sesh

a-ball ambassador

Sat, 11 Apr 2026 02:57:43 GMT

alex beefs with a Disney Plus star, kev wants to put an A-Ball up his butt, nothing bad will happen to Chicago do you believe me?

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slice my face into a smile

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 04:29:30 GMT

i get so gay off that celsius

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gay guy bird

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 06:31:48 GMT

accidentally dating your DILF, madonna gaga death match, and the true definition of bird + more is uncovered in this amazeballs fawking g@y ass fawking podcast

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Public Broadcasting Service

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 04:08:33 GMT

gaggings over Outside Lands ticket securement, discussions on Pillion movie vs the book, almost getting kicked out of an old gays bar and more in this MINI SESSSHHHHHHH.... we know you love them hahaa yessssss. eaow.

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stroke your shi

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 05:26:09 GMT

a discovery of Madonna, a live reaction to the Scatty Movie trailer, a live tarot reading by oomf Venus, and so much more await your filthy delights. stroke your shi.

kev substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/esotericgayguy/p/are-you-ready-to-die-dilf?r=fuypt&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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dig in me

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 01:46:18 GMT

I THINK IM GONNA DIE IN THIS POD... alex evicts kev after his unfavorable review of Music followed by a recap of their V-day events, bottoming prep skill levels, and other worthless homosexual banter

kev’s article: https://open.substack.com/pub/esotericgayguy/p/i-need-a-perfect-body?r=fuypt&utm_medium=ios

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tap the wound

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 05:47:07 GMT

DO WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR NAME??? alex & kev spend way too fucking long gagging over American Life & The Moment collapses + dilf fuckenings + halftime show reviewings + IM DRINKING A FXKXING SOY LATTE...

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good stink

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 07:51:13 GMT

alex & kev spiral over the results of the Scammys 2026, gag over their Send Help viewings, and discuss the ethics of sharing SSN numbers with others

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thanks kevtox

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 05:10:23 GMT

alex falls deeper in love with her dilf, kev beefs with millennial geeks, and the queerties snub the pod once again

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trust the dutchess

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 05:23:43 GMT

alex gets her jush stolen at work, kev beefs with creepy old gays, and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM SO STUPID.

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carly rae jesus

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 06:00:49 GMT

alex takes the virginity of an older man, kev theorizes about carly rae jepsen's involvement in the upcoming religion wars, and both hungry hippos discuss whats IN and OUT for 2026

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happy goon year

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 05:25:34 GMT

alex & kev kick off 2026 with more delusions about their appearance, quaketh's recipe for a perfect drunk night, alex's circuit party shenanigans, and more GAY GAY GAY GAY GAYYYYYY slopshit genuinely what is new

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CLANG IT

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 05:23:44 GMT

alex and kev freak the fuck out over Artpop relistenings, everyone wants to be a gay indie movie actor, and religious trauma is gagggyyyy

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we are charli xcxirk

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 02:15:08 GMT

alex and kev get ended, a blackout wednesday recap, and other non-patreon exclusive faggotry 😊.

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sin límite

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 06:23:26 GMT

alex and kev lament their very serious hot chips addiction, alex schemes to ruin an ex-coomf's graduation, & kev is ended fiercely

www.patreon.com/Tradesesh

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give me the dollar

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 04:54:50 GMT

kev and alex react to chains of love, evil evil alex goes off on a poor seshanista who was only trying to show us love and grace, & kev showcases his vocal talent

patreon.com/Tradesesh

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alex needs a bump

Sat, 15 Nov 2025 05:54:52 GMT

alex needs a job (i.e., bump), kev almost emails his hole pics to a small spanish hotel, and we read a few reader submissions 😘

patreon.com/Tradesesh

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FISH BARCODE

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 05:01:18 GMT

kev and alex discuss gay guy thirst traps on the tl, recap their final thoughts on the dick phone 2, and manifest a grammy win for godisson rae

patreon.com/Tradesesh

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do you believe in milk & cookies?

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 08:37:27 GMT

someone threatens to shoot alex, kev gets told to move seats on the bus, and a big beautiful woman runs towards them in the desert

patreon.com/Tradesesh

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SHRUMP SAYS

Sun, 19 Oct 2025 03:48:01 GMT

addison rae changes the world, kev beefs with someone in TSA, alex gags for her owala, the end is nigh

patreon,com/Tradesesh -

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sad pathetic life.

Sun, 12 Oct 2025 04:33:28 GMT

alex beefs with an invisible bus, kev can't do CPR, and multiple aquarium gaggings are to be fawking had.

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message from the executive

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 20:51:41 GMT

https://patreon.com/Tradesesh

FIRST DROP TOMORROW WHERE WE DO A LIVE REVIEW OF LIFE OF A SH*WGIRL

2 EXCLUSIVE BONUS EPISODES A MONTH, MAYBE EVEN SOME OTHER SURPRISES ALONG THE WAY... WHAT COULD BE MORE GAGGY

PLEASE FREE US SHE'S MAKING US BUILD HER ANOTHER PRIVATE JET

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mine is not cussing

Sun, 05 Oct 2025 04:38:14 GMT

kev spirals about the fate of all, alex dishes on her addison tour experience, and LET ME DO MINE MINE IS NOT CUSSING

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the world was supposed to end in 2012

Sun, 28 Sep 2025 06:35:32 GMT

BABY ITS 2013.... alex takes a shit at the club, kev discusses his niche internet micro-celebrity past, and the future doesn't exist

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the long dick

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 03:23:10 GMT

alex's doordash driver crashes into her house & then she met a TikTok icon, kev got a hercut, The Long Dick was a gag idc, and a certain event was even gaggier my dear.

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my shit bang.

Sun, 14 Sep 2025 04:18:37 GMT

alex ends gaga, miami is shite, bartending could be tea, what can be done (recorded before #youknowwhat)

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it's getting gaggy my dear

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 05:21:12 GMT

alex makes the children gag, kev gets attacked by birds, and more in another riveting spectacle of tradeiana shenanigans my dears

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keyboard fart

Sun, 24 Aug 2025 04:29:46 GMT

everything is happening to alex. kev beefs with a service worker. the killer is in your house.

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it stinks.

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 04:01:53 GMT

real fucking bad too. = LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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douche cola

Sun, 10 Aug 2025 07:34:05 GMT

girl wtf did we even talk about; we saw Together, working in customer service is SHITE, we need to do something drastic.

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lettuce in my hole

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 02:37:40 GMT

i want burger king omg 😭

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phantom trade

Sun, 27 Jul 2025 04:26:10 GMT

fully don't know wtf happened to alex's audio...... bnfnnfjfnjdjddffd

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DADDING IM CUMMING

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 05:52:43 GMT

ohhhhhhh bitch we talk about it all. ALLL. from SHITvel vs. DIHc comics to getting various bodily fluids expelled upon your nether regions. we need to call the police

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labooboo

Sat, 12 Jul 2025 03:41:06 GMT

LOS LABUBUS SON HIJOS DE LUCIFER

LABUBU=BECEBÚ

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how to train your trade

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 23:47:49 GMT

MY BAG MY MAN MY PAP

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final seshtination

Sat, 14 Jun 2025 05:29:26 GMT

We were in a race to fist hole

Yesterday, through today, 'til tomorrow

But when the trade blew up

A piece of shrapnel flew and slowed that part of you

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im robyn the store

Sat, 31 May 2025 07:08:24 GMT

EVERYTHING'S SESHYYYYYYYYYYYY

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seafood boil in the DMV

Sat, 17 May 2025 02:28:28 GMT

fully don't remember what the FUCK. we talked about... YESSSS SIS

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i don't mind a little scat 😊

Sat, 10 May 2025 04:30:43 GMT

PUT. IT IN A CUP MIX IT UP ADD THE SCAT

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big fat butt

Sat, 03 May 2025 04:27:46 GMT

its a sesh to remembuh as we queen the fuck out and throw knives at people what we talk about some shit about houses, charli's track 10 live performances, addison's upcoming life-changing album, and other stuff it's everything

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i feel like a chop queen

Sat, 19 Apr 2025 03:00:00 GMT

this week's episode is every fucking thing as we talk the economics of chip prices, katy perry surviving the illuminati spacecraft, peeing in a jamba juice smoothie, you name it

I FEEL LIKE A CHOP QUEEN

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but demi's not even confident

Sat, 12 Apr 2025 04:04:22 GMT

THE PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SMELLING MY FART....

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remy gun

Sat, 05 Apr 2025 03:01:34 GMT

YOU CAN'T BUY A TRADE SESH G*N AND THEN BE TRADE SESH.... we're discussing it all this week from bluetooth-caused cancer and to nearly getting assaulted at work by a 30+ year old g*y man. and it's just fawking good.

BULLET BURNS BULLET BURN BULLET BUUUURNS

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scratch me minge

Sat, 29 Mar 2025 02:43:05 GMT

there's a leaf flowing from the trees... it drifts to you with the weightlessness of a being with no desire, no fear, no guilt.

do you snatch it from the freedom of the air? or will you allow it to continue with a blissful existence?

don't lie — you covet the life it lives.

and i think we both know what you will do.

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oral inspection

Sat, 22 Mar 2025 03:30:00 GMT

don't even know what to say about this one yall...

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ga

Sun, 16 Mar 2025 04:16:03 GMT

THAT'S MY MAGIC C***.... well there's really not much to say here since we pretty much spend the entire time discussing ga....... make of that what you will.

BAD BOY MAKE A BAD GIRL–

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BINGO

Sat, 08 Mar 2025 04:30:00 GMT

THEY NEED KARLA'S LIKE ME.... this week we dish about alex's stinky ass date, have a quick oscars kii, review kev's experience at a cruising bar, and more shit that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the universe

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wash your monkey monday

Sat, 01 Mar 2025 04:34:49 GMT

I GET FISTY I GET GAPEY... its back to the basics with a gross ass discussion of alex's first time f*sting someone, kev dishes on another humiliating moment to add to his miserable pathetic f***** life, more hate on osgood shitkins, i think we diss marina too

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it comes with coleslaw

Sat, 22 Feb 2025 05:22:21 GMT

what will you do when the plane comes? we don't really give a fuck because it comes with coleslaw. what

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abracagagme

Sun, 16 Feb 2025 04:40:50 GMT

in a true return to fashion, we start off with a discussion about alex's trade who we've been talking about since literally the first episode, thoughts on the latest releases by gaga tate and addison, spiral over first gen guilt, and issues with paycheck deductions.

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up his prolapse

Fri, 27 Dec 2024 01:04:27 GMT

sure why not

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nu out in front of everybody

Sun, 17 Nov 2024 11:21:16 GMT

more anora talk, at&t wifi, window blinds being open to the street, the side effects of prep, and more

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le sigh

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 05:47:51 GMT

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fame is prison

Sun, 03 Nov 2024 00:28:30 GMT

HOLD ON HOLD ON.... on this late ass episode kev and alex talk about smile 2, anora, aquamarine, gaga, and k/3ll like three people

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am i supposed to just eat my shit?

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 01:11:42 GMT

THE TRADE DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO..... we're chop ass hoes so its another live sfx episode where we discuss kev's sweat tour experience, the value of alex' vinyl collection, and the proper size of a mattress.

FUCK YOU BITCH.

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issa sesh

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 17:16:35 GMT

COULDN'T EVEN TRADE HIM IF I TRIED what... okay sorry we promise this is the last live sfx episode for a while (is that true?... no.). girl what the fuck did we even talk about.

BRAT EN CLOOB.

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ashwaganfuckme15timesda

Sat, 05 Oct 2024 02:04:44 GMT

How has xannys bro or coke? HAYYYY It's another live SFX episode where we talk in length about gummy candies, alex's SWEAT tour experience, and your whore fucking mother.

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fat queenie gay men

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 05:22:04 GMT

KYLIE JENNER LIPSTICK ON MY PUSSY LIPS. KYLIE JENNER LIPSTICK ON MY PUSSY LIPS. KYLIE JENNER LIPSTICK ON MY PUSSY LIPS. KYLIE JENNER LIPSTICK ON MY PUSSY LIPS.

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shidded on em

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 03:39:18 GMT

EVERY FREAKING TRADE... AND EVERY FREAKING SESH. we're coming at you with 1000 (then a comma) brand-new minutes of useless garbling about attraction to medium-ugly guys, a botched visit to a korean bathhouse, and getting shidded on by a bird. I BE IN THE TRADE'S BAFROOM LIKEEEE....

the way that lyric doesn't even make sense like why is it 1000 then a comma... bitch that's not a real fucking number it should be 100 THEN a comma what the fuck. k!ll yourself

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mawmarazzi

Thu, 12 Sep 2024 23:56:12 GMT

miss mawma... it's another live episode filled with talk (talk) about kev's expedition to shitaly, alex's recap of the VMAs, and a candid discussion about katy perry's flatlining career. i love how the trade increased in the sesh.

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no risk, no gloryhole

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 04:49:11 GMT

DONT JUDGE ME.... You can't handle half of what I’ve dealt with… there’s a reason I do what l do.... theres a reason I am who I am.

apologies for the horrible technical difficulties and editing this week… you already know who to blame. ⁽˙³˙⁾

ty @soulobvs for helping with the intro ♡

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whoreworms

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 02:08:39 GMT

Greetings, seshanator

God of serving desire, son of Gagodite

Lay back and feast as this audio guides you

Through new and exciting positions

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trade sesh live: bop sesh

Sat, 24 Aug 2024 06:00:53 GMT

THE QUEEN IS HERE... BOW DOWN. it's time for the long-awaited trade sesh LIVE, made possible thanks to our partners at itzbestiebear inn. alex and kev are joined IN PERSON by matt (@itzbestiebear) for 66 minutes of slightly drunk and very loud queening-outs. a ton of listener questions are answered and barely anything of substance is talked about. matt sounds like they're speaking through a traffic cone (they're actually using alex's normal mic...). alex is actually pretty audible for once. goddess ren (@rennbaebae) makes an appearance. and kev is a chop hoe.

lets get this sesh a cooking.

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cum n go #4

Sat, 10 Aug 2024 19:10:01 GMT

THAT'S MY SISTA. IN MY MIND. THAT'S MY SISTA.

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popsicle stick (feat. righter oomf)

Sun, 04 Aug 2024 23:59:58 GMT

TRADE SESH USED TO BE DOWN BAD BUT NOW A BITCH OKAY... sorta kinda. this week alex and kev finally get themselves together enough to upload a full-length episode featuring the one and only @MadameRusty. look forward to defiling your ears with even more discussions of of painting trade and random wet dreams, and find out if you're one of the like 3 listener questions that got answered.

check out Vera's book, "The Verdillion" here!!: https://a.co/d/dKa3TyX

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cum n go #3

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 05:30:05 GMT

the sun will come out... tomorrow. so we gotta— sorry i'm crying cuz i never got to play annie i was always a background orphan and now i'm too old to play annie OH MY GOD

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cum n go #2

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 17:45:10 GMT

UGH... isn't life sad? it really just traps you.. it really just gets you. it's like i'm gonna SUCK. the life out of you. i was thinking about this podcast i've done trade sesh for 11 years; i've been putting my heart and soul and energy into it... and what do i have to show for it? a lifeless, soulless me!

um anyways this is the natasha denona palette it's super cute

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purge sesh

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 11:25:25 GMT

This is not a test, this is your Emergency Trade System announcing the commencement of the annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S. Governatch.

Gags of class four and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other gags are restricted.

Commencing at the sesh, any and all reads (including fierceness) will be legal for 12 continuous hours.

Butch, Twink, and Emergency Bottom services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. when the Purge concludes.

Blessed be our new founding sisters and America... a nation reborn.

May Gawd be with you all.

Story link: https://artificialqueens.tumblr.com/post/148610417720/the-purge-part-1-all-stars-2-the-purge

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cumming

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 04:19:14 GMT

IM GONNA VIOLATE YOU. alex and kev are BACK BACK BACK AGAIN on this post-pride weekend episode. kev's voice sounds like shit, alex lowkey doxxes herself, and a few more listener submissions are spilled.

oh my fucking godddrrrrrr foo.

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when the tree be way too strong

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 05:40:28 GMT

WHAT I DO... alex and kevin grow cold in a dark, wet basement; it's almost kind of like your... anyway. this week they discuss the upcoming trade sesh x very delta crossover, greened out britney trade, and spill their thoughts on "Preacher's Daughter" by Ethel Cain. if you liked this episode then you can thank alex and if you hated it blame kev.

and remember don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love

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365PARTYOOMFS

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 09:23:57 GMT

OU THAT SOUNDED REALLY BRATTY... alex and kev become party girls as they talk talk about Charli XCX's new critically acclaimed album "Brat" and all of its club classics, rewind and discuss kev's 58-year-old trade, answer listener questions, and they may or may not say something stupid when they engage in some pride discourse.

shall we do a little key? shall we have a little line?

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i make the straight boys question (feat. m&m oomf)

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 03:45:48 GMT

I THINK THERE'S A TRADE STICKING OUT OF MY SESH. it's the 20th episode fagstravaganza and alex and kev are going ALL OUT with a very special 3-part sesh. topics include a melatonin nightmare storytime, alex's new beef with nymphia wind, kev's bizarre hookup with **-year-old "trade" + his friend who likes to watch, and a kiki with special guest @evadentz.

and where i do it, it's legal.

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cum n go #1

Fri, 31 May 2024 06:24:38 GMT

i'm going to take your child. i'm going to take your baby.

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ratlani nunu

Fri, 24 May 2024 03:40:00 GMT

THIS BITCH IS TRASH... alex and kev lose their fucking shit this week as they drag the strangers, gloss over kev's boring ass hookup, answer many listener questions and such as, and review madonna's ray of light.

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butch sesh

Fri, 17 May 2024 03:42:00 GMT

SO STUNNING. alex & kev gag (from the smell) over their body image, talk about some hooks, LET IT OUT with a candid discussion about their gendah expression, and they'll put you in a trance with their review of madonna's sixth studio album erotica. i am very... adrogolous.

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ace eyes realize ace lies (feat. sweaty oomf)

Fri, 10 May 2024 03:40:00 GMT

THAT'S THAT TRADE SESHPRESSO. alex and kev are over it this week as they discuss dual lipos radical positivity, shit on some movies, theorize their chances of surviving the apocalypse (pocoloptic), review madonna's debut, and invite aidan (@101iight) back onto the pod!!

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girl just shit on him

Fri, 03 May 2024 03:40:00 GMT

HEY SCATTY GIRL.!! this week alex and kev discuss... well, you guessed it. other topics include: gloryhole shenanigans, the introduction of jacuzzi john, a movie smackdown extravaganza, and the final ever charli's crackden that we will do ever (for now) you stupid fvcking fq66ots. watch this ass clap

stop douching for dl trade.

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DILF ethics

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 03:40:00 GMT

BUT WAY RU... alex and kev dish about movie viewings, alex trying to interview a hookup for the pod, and kev suffering through another HORAbole hookup. then they briefly discuss the ethics of hooking with married trade and play several audio messages that are barely even fucking audible—before wrapping up with their second-to-last charli's crack den. HOW YOU FEELING NOW? 🍌

#teamnymphia🍌

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don't even trip

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 04:00:10 GMT

alex and kev get vulnerable about porn addicktion, a flop ass threesome, the return of nerdy trade/john, and literal dream trade. charli gets reviewed too i guess.

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grandpa fucker (feat. virgin oomfs)

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 03:40:31 GMT

alex and kev cover all things alani nu rat juice and pop2 before their guest spot—and this week it's just family. @soulobvs & @akacinnamonboy dish about DILFs, super bowl half-time shows, and traumatic childhood incidents.

they say trade sesh touched oomfs and that's why they're quiet.

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die ten deaths

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 07:44:45 GMT

this week alex and kev are ready to fight and break down. tears are shed, trade gets topped, and number 1 angel gets reviewed. let's get this trade a-seshing.

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mexican loads

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 03:50:44 GMT

our hosts get cancellable this week discussing kev's big dipper moment, have a queen-out over vroom vroom EP, and finish strong with an oscar-worthy monologue from alex.

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tarot sesh in outer space

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 03:44:11 GMT

we're in heaven on this tenth episode special! alex and kev have a marvelous kiki answering listener questions, spewing about usual trade obsessions, and attempting a garbage improv sesh

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message from the executives

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 03:45:00 GMT

FRIDAYS JUST GOT FIERCER.

trade sesh returns this thursday at 9pm pst.

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fa(r)t white opium trade (feat. feeder oomf)

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 03:49:10 GMT

twitter's very own jacqueline susanne-esque '60s doll (@wohmolly) joins the sesh with a very interesting tale. from "number 2" to toots, this episode gets... messy.

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asexual slut (feat. khia oomf)

Wed, 06 Mar 2024 04:45:54 GMT

trade sesh is validating asexual tea by welcoming world-renowned Uni enthusiast and khia oomf Aidan (@101iight) to the pod!!

three is a charm, two is not the same.

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balding bitch

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 05:30:23 GMT

from kev getting caught hooking to madonna's sex book... these queers talk about it ALL – including their first hater.

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stop swining about it

Wed, 21 Feb 2024 05:10:05 GMT

big back activities occur on this week's episode when alex & kev spend half of the time talking about hot chips... they also discuss a certain irrelevant pop star and her more successful talented counterparts. THIS IS SHIT POP!

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West Peronka

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 06:15:58 GMT

almost heaven, West Peronka

B*tch Da Mountains, Panda P*ssy River

trade is old there, older than coochie

younger than the session, he wants to marry me

f*qq0t roads, take me home

to the place, i suck c*ck

West Peronka, mountain mawma

take me home, f*qq0t roads

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gay kisser

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 05:09:00 GMT

how bad do you want it? this week, alex & kev tell all on fake friends, catfishing, and gay kissing? *cough* okay.

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it's more of like the smell

Wed, 31 Jan 2024 04:45:20 GMT

girl whatever

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he wants to marry me

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 03:36:44 GMT

oops... we did it again! these hungry hippos r back for seconds as they continue their mediocre attempt at podcasting

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ross restroom understall tea

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 03:21:58 GMT

two sissies test the waters of podcasting with their very first episode. it's not very good

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