Tools

Moulding Bar

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 10:59:37 GMT

Just a brief preamble this week where Imperial Pete revisits 'galoshes-gate' and Metric Max makes the case to narrow the scope of which tools they discuss. Then the moulding bar comes in for heavy scrutiny.

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Drill Press

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 11:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete pushes the Astro Van to its limits. Metric Max encouters more yappy German workers. Then the boys unveil a new and improved rating system.

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Stud Finder

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 11:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete continues trying to wean himself off beer by substituting it with magic mushrooms. Metric Max reveals an eyewitness account of a rare sighting over the Swiss Alps. Then the boys discuss just how pointless the intersection of Silicon Valley tech and jobsite tools can be.

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Table Saw

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 09:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete unfurls "the swastika siding scandal". Metric Max acquires a new target: linear drains. Then they load up for a major tool. Can the guys give the table saw an honest rating? Or has "carpenter's choice" obliterated the already shaky rating system?

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Shit Chisel

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete's tools move into his home. Metric Max ends up in a sticky situation involving the resale of a stripper pole. Then they discuss a tool that is by definition shit, but has its uses.

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Marrette

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete come to the conclusion that any sufficiently advanced electrical work done by a carpenter is indistinguishable from magic to a client.

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Fein MultiMaster

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete's neighbours find out about something he was hoping to keep private. Metric Max's migrant worker era comes to an end. The boys show surprising enthusaism for the "Dorito" Fein tool attachement.

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Pica Pencil

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 00:53:12 GMT

Metric Max has an odd experience at a Hamburg spa. Imperial Pete divulges his go-to Christmas gift. Then our hosts debate the most conentious tool to date.

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Tin Snips

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete explore the nuances of dog fucking. A caller implores them to consider other trades when rating a tool.

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Combination Square

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete ask the pressing question: Is drywall organic? Plus, German guy's manifseto that lays out a 100 year plan to revolutionize the way people work.

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Hard Hat

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete and Metric Max declare war on Crispo Canada's enshitified spikes. Plus: the "Shopping Theory" of prefab home construction.

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Chalk Line

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete attempt to bring more accuracy to the rating system by introducing a new category called "Carpenter's Choice".

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Summer Hiatus

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Even Metric Max and Imperial Pete need a break. We'll be back in September.

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Shop Vac

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete welcome another caller to the program. She airs her thoughts on the workwear debate. Plus we meet Martin Barzailis.

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Spade Bit

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Villagers introduce Metric Max to his Gallic doppelganger. Imperial Pete pushes the limits of heat exhaustion, and improvises a new style of workwear.

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Ladder

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete troubleshoot a job Max will travel to France to complete. A surprise call-in guest transforms the episode into Bucketshead Revisited.

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Impact Driver

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete's challenges with water on the job continue. Metric Max's eyes are opened to an important impact driver innovation.

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Spanner

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max experiences Final Destination on the streets of Berlin. Imperial Pete embraces his name by tipping Cuban people with Mastercraft tools.

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Biscuit Joiner

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 08:00:00 GMT

In this episode of Tools we invite you to enjoy a top-tier music drop, a digression about what wood is used for Scrabble tiles, and special guest Tammi.

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Belt Sander

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete explains why, despite being carpenter, he does not wear a tool belt. Metric Max talks about a client who implied he should remove his shoes on the job.

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Worktunes

Sun, 08 Jun 2025 22:26:19 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete have a nice conversation about taping. They also ponder the intellectual and political consequences of Worktunes replacing the radio on the job.

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Air Compressor

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Imperial Pete and Metric Max grow frustrated with messy electricians, and find common ground on the many definitions for a 'stench.

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Track Saw

Mon, 26 May 2025 13:22:27 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete become increasingly enamored with Italians. A basement job becomes a block party while Pete is at the dump.

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Workwear

Mon, 19 May 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max investigates the regimented world of German workwear. Imperial Pete unleashes a class-based analysis of the popularity of Carhartt among those who do not live the jobsite lifestyle.

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Vise-Grip

Mon, 12 May 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max takes a stand against merch. Imperial Pete makes a fatal mistake by dividing a room in two.

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Spirit Level

Mon, 05 May 2025 08:00:00 GMT

The culture clash between Canadian and Central European jobsite habits continues. Imperial Pete takes us to the frontlines of the cordless revolution. Plus, special guest Tammi.

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Skilsaw

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max encouters a troubling set of circumstances on the job. Will his German co-workers drive him to madness? Imperial Pete is building a koi pond for a rich guy.

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Bucket

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 08:00:00 GMT

"You know how many buckets I have in the Astro van? Six."

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Insulation Saw

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 08:00:00 GMT

"Riddle me this. Have you ever seen a guy go to Nova Era, buy a bun, buy 100 grams of salami and then take out his insulation saw and cut the bread with it to make a sangwich?"

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Shovel

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete come to realize that their ranking system needs more nuance than a tool being either 'good' or 'garbage'.

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Sawzall

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 08:03:00 GMT

Heavy hitter this episode. Is the Sawzall a top tool?

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Tape Measure

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 08:01:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete discuss the finer points of the tape measure, and a rare funny German joke.

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Spray Foam

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 08:01:00 GMT

What is a tool? What happens when you accidentallly pierce a can of spray foam at Home Depot? A ranking system emerges.

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Jigsaw

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Metric Max and Imperial Pete talk about the jigsaw and the distinctions between "sewing machine" tools, and "salad spinner" tools.

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