Teen Creeps

Josh Malerman's It Waits in the Woods

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read IT WAITS IN THE WOODS by Josh Malerman, another Amazon Kondle short story that they…do not like as much! They talk too much filmmaking shit, lack of relationship, the unforgivable crime of leaving Heather or Kimberly or whoever, dumb little hats, and more!

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Owen King's Letter Slot

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read LETTER SLOT by Owen King, another entry in Amazon's Shivers collection, about a boy who puts his woes in a letter and inadvertently kills people's loved ones. They talk King family dynamics (with apologies to the King family), feminist undertones, unequal labor in the home, how they'd definitely put some names on a list, which is more helpful: art or criticism, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Xenobe Purvis's The Hounding

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 13:04:07 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE HOUNDING by Xenobe Purvis, the story that asks, “What if the virgin suicides, but dogs?” They talk Pete being a little shit, missing youthful crushing, loving Joseph and Robin, the problem being people, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Jo Gibson's Dance of Death

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DANCE OF DEATH by Jo Gibson, a return to our roots with a silly little book about a pair of evil shoes and the drip who is powerless to stop them. They talk being delighted to return to stupidity, being confounded by what a flier for an article is, pooooors and riches, Donna's embarrassing little outfits, going for popularity in all the wrong ways, Tammy ruling the school, creepy casting predators, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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T.J. Payne's Intercepts

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read INTERCEPTSby T.J. Payne, the story of a man who gets counterintelligence by way of disembodying people's consciousness who is seemingly surprised to learn there are personal consequences! They talk feeling nothing for the book, wanting some goddamn angst from Joe, really liking one scene (lol), Riley being the entire beating heart of the story and yet a non-entity, and yet overall being willing to read more of this guys' work (lol in a different way).

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Alix E. Harrow's The Six Deaths of the Saint

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE SIX DEATHS OF THE SAINT by Alix E. Harrow, a short story from Amazon’s “Into Shadow” series that asks the question, what if your terrible college relationship was in the Dark Ages instead? They talk power structures, Ambrosius!, who knew what and when in terms of religion and colonialism, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read PROJECT HAIL MARY by Andy Weir, the story of a Swiss cheese brained scientist who wakes up in space and has to save humanity. They talk losing time, perfect casting, the stories we tell ourselves in order to be cowards, alien besties, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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R.F. Kuang's Making Space

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read MAKING SPACE by R.F. Kuang, a short story for Amazon's Time Traveler's Passport series about a woman finding a boy in the woods, bringing him home, and her terrible husband being terrible. They talk A LOT about Goodreads reviewers NOT GETTING IT, the nuance of intersectional apologies, not engaging with material you know you will hate, there being lines in the sand on opinions, and how this story broke their hearts and they loved it.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Kylie Lee Baker's Bat Eater and Other Names for Cora Zeng

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read BAT EATER AND OTHER NAMES FOR CORA ZENG by Kylie Lee Baker, a pandemic era tale of a serial killer attacking East Asian women and the insecure, germ obsessed woman who finally stops it. They talk lack of nuance on Cora's mixed ethnic background, tragedy porn, loving the characters, not nailing the mystery genre, and RIP Cuomo.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Jaqueline Harpman's I Who Have Never Known Men

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read I WHO HAVE NEVER KNOWN MEN by Jaqueline Harpman, a speculative fiction about a woman raised in a cage with 39 other women on a probable alien planet and how she adapts. They talk the Child's endearing oddness, theorize on why the hell they were being imprisoned, speculate why the women get stuck in despair, and throw a little posthumous shade on RBG.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Grady Hendrix's The Blanks

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BLANKS by Grady Hendrix, a 35 page banger of an entry in the #KONDLE horror anthology miniseries “The Shivers.” They talk Rachel being wrong wrong wrong, not allowing themselves to feel this one, RIP Tom Docks, reenacting relationship trauma, Bad Bunny’s Halftime show, the majesty of Xcaret, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Eowyn Ivey's The Snow Child

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE SNOW CHILD by Eowyn Ivey, the story of a homesteading couple in 1920s Alaska who conjure a child made of snow and a shit ton of tears. They talk love, loss, parenthood, richly realized characters, stunning descriptions of nature, straightforward but poetic prose, and cry cry cry cry cry.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Jennifer Thorne's Diavola

Wed, 28 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DIAVOLA by Jennifer Thorne, the story of an emotionally withholding woman who visits a haunted villa with her toxic family and #girlboss #gaslight #gatekeeps her way through an exorcism. They talk their extreme disappointment with the last third of the book, their love of the first two thirds, dark empathy, promising seeds that never give fruit, Anna's lack of an emotional arc, being the La Dama you see in the world, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lily King's Heart the Lover

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read HEART THE LOVER by Lily King, the story of a college romance and saying goodbye. They talk how much they loved the book, cry, talk assholes and non-assholes they've loved, and then Katai has to abruptly leave because her doctor calls for a phone appointment a half hour early.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Martha Wells's All Systems Red

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read ALL SYSTEMS RED by Martha Kelly, the first in the MURDERBOT DIARIES series of sci-fi novellas about an anxious, morose security android who hacks its software to have free will, but who has to keep his day job or be found out. They talk loving Murderbot, technical trip-ups in reading, the Pantsuit Nation feel of Preservation Alliance, the Apple TV series adaptation, what they’re watching/playing, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Caitlin Starling's The Starving Saints

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE STARVING SAINTS by Caitlin Starling, the story of a castle under siege starving to death until some false gods show up to feed everyone to each other. They talk an inability to lose one's fanfic roots, characters running to and fro, hating Treila, unearned victories, not knowing where we are in physical space, cheating with your chosen POV, cornball endings, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew Case Files No. 102: Counterfeit Christmas

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE NANCY DREW CASE FILES #102: COUNTERFEIT CHRISTMAS by Carolyn Keene, the story of some counterfeit bills, some kind of publication, and cartoonists? They talk cuckolding Ned, law school logistics, Nancy being a stone cold bitch, overthinking logistics, cringe award ceremonies, '80s fashion, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew Case Files No. 5: Hit and Run Holiday

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read NANCY DREW CASE FILES #5: HIT AND RUN HOLIDAY by Carolyn Keene, the story of undocumented immigrants, slavery, hit and run incidents, and Nancy being a dumb little idiot. They talk everyone feeling middle aged, go on a long Whedonverse tangent, floashing in the oash, party trips, hater discourse as non-haters, Florida's age of consent, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sharon Creech's Walk Two Moons

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read WALK TWO MOONS by Sharon Creech, the 1995 Newbery Award Winner aka ‘The Hours’ for children. They talk mom’s mom’s moms, the pain of living, loving Phoebe’s food bullshit, overly quirky grandparents, and do some more crying!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gail Carson Levine's Ella Enchanted

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read ELLA ENCHANTED by Gail Carson Levine, the 1997 retelling of Cinderella. They talk fat shaming, questionable Centaur owning, disliking Ella, pointless finishing schools, movie adaptation improvements, consider revoking the book’s Newbery honor, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Scott O'Dell's Island of the Blue Dolphins (w/ Steven Ray Morris)

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai were joined by friend and human ray of light Steven Ray Morris to talk about the required reading classic ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS by Scott O’Dell. They talked their feelings on the ocean, whether Karana is queer coded (no, but yes), school experiences, growing up, a white dude tackling a Native woman’s story, and so much more!

Check out the Back to School series on See Jurassic Right: https://open.spotify.com/show/13Zg4fzjntnwRX90tFIcWI?si=65e5a05158dc4b11

Check out Keanan and Lakin Give you Déjà Vu: https://open.spotify.com/show/4ed96gmtVrHXSENTVCQ8U2?si=274a03ea668b4c7a

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gus Moreno's This Thing Between Us

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THIS THING BETWEEN US by Gus Moreno, a beautiful, gutting tale of grief as told via possession. They talk guilt, darkness, dying, loving, dogs, a not-evil Vera, Bruce Willis guest star spots, petty gossip podcast recs, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Molly O'Neill's Greenteeth

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read GREENTEETH by Molly O'Neill, a cozy fantasy about a bog hag mother, a witch mother, and a gay-coded goblin who is not a mother. They talk frustratingly straightforward quests, dangerous-but-not-really fae, unicorn martyrs, superficial emotions, not-lush prose, and get defensive about not liking the book to some not-present attacker they imagine will hate their critiques.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lois Lowry's THE GIVER

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 22:41:02 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Lois Lowry's THE GIVER! They talk suppression, the impossibility of complete protection, and the whacked out movie Me Before You!

CW: vague discussion of suicide in the context of the movie Me Before You

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steven L. Peck's A Short Stay in Hell

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read A SHORT STAY IN HELL by Steven L. Peck, the story of a perfectly nice guy who ends up in hell, which is an endless series of mostly nonsense books... aka this podcast... jkjkjkjk. They talk this book feeling like the companion to The Divine Farce, moving musings on love and loss, hell being other white people, allegory and metaphor for the search for meaning in life and life itself, whether one has a "calling," staying positive through stress, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stephen King's The Body

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 22:03:44 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Stephen King's THE BODY, the novella that was adapted into the seminal classic, Stand By Me. They talk the sadness of growing up, how you can never really go home, and nostalgia for a childhood you've never had.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Michael Graziano's The Divine Farce

Wed, 15 Oct 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DIVINE FARCE by Michael S.A. Graziano, the story of a man trapped in either heaven or hell, hard to say. They talk loving the book, icky but sweet, human connection, loving Brother Brian Blue, biscuits biscuits biscuits, the complications of help, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Brom's Slewfoot

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 19:25:03 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Brom's SLEWFOOT: The story of a puritan woman befriending a goat demon, horrible witch hunts, and revenge!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kealan Patrick Burke's Sour Candy

Wed, 01 Oct 2025 19:58:08 GMT

Kelly and Katai cover Kealan Patrick Burke's SOUR CANDY, a story about a man who witnesses a child having a meltdown in a supermarket, and next thing ya know he's bound to a baby eldritch being??? A fun, genuinely scary horror novella!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Monika Kim's The Eyes Are The Best Part

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE EYES ARE THE BEST PART by Monika Kim, the story of a girl whose dad leaves so obviously she gets addicted to eating human male blue eyes. They talk one note characterization, great family stuff, yucky yucky eye stuff, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mieko Kawakami's Heaven

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read HEAVEN by Mieko Kawakami, a philosophical tale of bullying, bullies, and the bullied. They talk what didn't work for them (most of it), what did (very little), the hero of the book (the stepmom), examine some Goodreads reviews, and meet the love of their lives, Jenna.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

David Sodergren's The Haar

Wed, 10 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE HAAR by David Sodergren, a cozy body horror?? They talk loving Muriel, hating almost everyone else, wanting Avalon to come to America, poor Arthur, the need to be a curious person who has thoughts, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Catriona Ward's The Last House on Needless Street

Wed, 03 Sep 2025 07:00:00 GMT

**ATTN: SPOILERS IMMEDIATELY AND THROUGHOUT***

***CONTENT WARNING: CHILD ABUSE***

This week Kelly and Katai read THE LAST HOUSE ON NEEDLESS STREET by Catriona Ward, a beautiful and surprising story of imprisonment that takes the idea of a kidnapped girl and turns it on its head and adds a cat. They talk loving the characters, twists on twists, snakes on snakes, hating Mommy, the LORD, and more!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ray Nayler's Tusks of Extinction

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read TUSKS OF EXTINCTION by Ray Nayler, a beautiful and sad sci-fi novella about humanity, poaching, and mammoths. They talk more Goodreads dunderheads, seeing every perspective, getting so much story in so little time, how humanity is cooked, and more.

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Emily Ruth Verona's Midnight on Beacon Street

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read MIDNIGHT ON BEACON STREET by Emily Ruth Verona, a clever take on the Teen Creeps slasher genre that had them cheering. They talk loving the book, hating Gabby of Goodreads, beautiful inner turmoil, a textbook example of surprising but inevitable, what they’ve been watching/playing, and more!

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Caroline B. Cooney's Goddess of Yesterday

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read The Goddess of Yesterday by Caroline B. Cooney, an outstanding take on Greek historical myth set around the beginning of the Trojan War. They talk loving Anaxandra, hating Paris and Helen, whether quicksilver is mercury, and more!

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Mary Downing Hahn's The Old Willis Place

Wed, 30 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE OLD WILLIS PLACE by Mary Downing Hahn, a beautiful story of tragic ghost children and the nice dum dum who thinks they’re just in a cult. They talk forgiveness, feeling like Miss Willis has at least 60 more years of penance, feeling for Diana and Georgie, being whatever about Lissa, and more.

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Kay Chronister's The Bog Wife

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BOG WIFE by Kay Chronister, a moving story of family and bogs. They talk great prose, beautifully realized characters, the failings of modern American online therapizing, family trauma, magical realism, and bogs bogs bogs.

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R.L. Stine's Party Games

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read the 2014 FEAR STREET reboot entry PARTY GAMES by R.L. Stine, the story of a dum dum who gets a crush on a Fear boy and misses every red flag during his birthday death games. They talk psycho boys, poorly designed murder games, going to bed smelling of burger, missed villain opportunities, unimpressive party spreads, and more!

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Patreon Preview: Emma Cline's THE GIRLS

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

Sicknesses and work/shooting schedules and life had us unable to record this week, so here's an Outside Genre episode from our Patreon!

Kelly and Katai talk THE GIRLS by Emma Cline, a beautiful rumination on girlhood, acquiescence, AND VIOLENT NORCAL CULTS! Thank you so much to listener Jenna Jardin for the book suggestion! The irresistible pull of someone with power, the desire to be desired, and how everyone just wants, wants, wants.

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Lurlene McDaniels's Angels Watching Over Me

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai dived into ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME, the first entry in Lurlene McDaniels' Angels Trilogy--and they will not be returning! They talk exoticizing and eroticizing the Amish, some Belle Gibson ass cancer messaging, confusing angel messaging, how they'd have talked shit on Leah as her fellow patients, and more!

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R.L. Stine's Don't Stay Up Late

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DON'T STAY UP LATE (A FEAR STREET NOVEL) by R.L. Stine, the story of a girl whose dad dies and then she almost gets gaslit to death. They talk the return of the angel faced white blonde haired boy charge, moms who need to get different jobs, absolutely bonkers monster child conspiracies, nary an endgame to be found, and more!

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Beverly Butler's Ghost Cat

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week on the podcast Kelly and Katai read GHOST CAT by Beverly Butler. They talk death by coddling, hating Todd, loving Annabel, hating Todd, mixing wisdom with fury, hating Todd, and also hating Todd!

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R.L. Stine's Fear Street Nights Trilogy: Moonlight Secrets, Midnight Games, & Darkest Dawn

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week on the podcast Kelly read FEAR STREET NIGHTS: MOONLIGHT SECRETS, MIDNIGHT GAMES, and DARKEST DAWN by R.L. Stine and Lindsay read Moonlight Secrets. They talk misguided naming paradigms, evil crows, loser bartenders, extreme lip violence, and more!

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Bruce Coville's Unicorn Chronicles: The Wounded Tree & The Gathered Glory

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai finally finish Bruce Coville's Unicorn Chronicles with the books THE WOUNDED TREE and THE GATHERED GLORY. They talk Cara's continuing nonsense even as a unicorn, satisfying payoffs, sad deaths, fun twists, earned endings, and then get into what they're watching on TV, hot hot hot tooth extractions, and which celebrities they instinctively know to be their soulmates.

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Bruce Coville's Unicorn Chronicles: Secret of the Delvers and The Invasion of Luster

Wed, 28 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week on the podcast Kelly and Katai continued their travels on the Unicorn Chronicle highway with SECRET OF THE DELVERS and THE INVASION OF LUSTER by Bruce Coville. They update each other on what the fuck is up with Dimblethumb (OR NOT!!), briefly check in on characters keeping them emotionally distant from the story, bad bitch Felicity, the actually impactful story of the Centaur Chiron, Belle clip-clopping along, Cara’s non-adventures, and more!

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Bruce Coville's Unicorn Chronicles: Song of the Wanderer and Enter the Whisperer

Wed, 21 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai returned to Bruce Coville's Unicorn Chronicles series with SONG OF THE WANDERER and ENTER THE WHISPERER. They talk boring protagonist syndrome, MacGuffins as far as the eye can see, annoying creatures, cool lore vs boring story, and hit on both the best and dumbest solution to the problem of continuing the series for the podcast.

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E.L. Konigsburg's A Proud Taste for Scarlet and Miniver

Wed, 14 May 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read A PROUD TASTE FOR SCARLET AND MINIVER by E.L. Konigsburg, the fictionalized story of Eleanor of Aquitaine's life as she waits for her second husband, Henry II, in heaven. They talk whether it's real, cringe heaven fanfic, the best form of government, everybody hates John, bad cult of personality teachers, and more!

And announcement: WE'RE NOW AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST. We are no longer a part of the Forever Dog podcast network and are entirely self-produced as we approach our ninth year of being. Thank you to Forever Dog for having worked with us over the years and thank YOU, the listeners, for your support.

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Grady Hendrix's Witchcraft for Wayward Girls

Wed, 07 May 2025 07:01:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read WITCHCRAFT FOR WAYWARD GIRLS by Grady Hendrix, the story of a group of unwed teenage girls who are sent to a maternity home in Florida in 1970 and the ways they attempt to take control over their own lives and pregnancies (witchcraft, etc). They cry, despair over the plight of these characters and the real girls who went through this, get angry, cry, fawn over Grady Hendrix, get angry, cry, and more!

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Ira Levin's The Stepford Wives

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week on the podcast Kelly and Katai read THE STEPFORD WIVES by Ira Levin, the story of what are you a slug living under a rock, how do you not already know the plot of this book? They get mad as hell and talk sexism, evil imagineers, and more!

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R.L. Stine's Into the Dark

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week on the podcast Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET: INTO THE DARK by R.L. Stine, the story of a blind girl who is awesome, but has unfortunately attracted a set of insane twin brothers. They talk good disability representation, Ed's many faults, Brad's also glaring faults, using your twin to sleep with Keanu Reeves' stunt double from Constantine, and more!

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T. Kingfisher's A Sorceress Comes to Call

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read A SORCERESS COMES TO CALL by T. Kingfisher, the story of an evil narcissist mom out to marry rich. They talk family surprises, who can pull off both loser and plastic, Falada's betrayal, the Penelope Green problem, and more!

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PATREON OUTSIDE GENRE DROP: Álvaro Enrigue's YOU DREAMED OF EMPIRES

Wed, 09 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

PATREON OUTSIDE GENRE DROP! Kelly and Katai talk Álvaro Enrigue's YOU DREAMED OF EMPIRES, a surprisingly funny historical fiction about the meeting between Cortéz and Moctezuma! Huge thanks to listener Hannah for the book suggestion! Stinky priests, running away from your european friends, and tripping on cacti!

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Benjamin Stevenson's Everyone in my Family has Killed Someone

Wed, 02 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAS KILLED SOMEONE by Ernest Cunningham, er, we mean Benjamin Stevenson. They talk hyper self-aware narrative, poor poor Lucy, using every detail, loving everything, did we mention poor poor Lucy, and more!

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Judith St. George's Haunted

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read HAUNTED by Judith St. George, the story of a boy who has to rid a compound of nazi ghosts in the most boring way possible. They talk wills! How not to do nazi ghosts! And more!

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Andy Davidson's The Boatman's Daughter

Wed, 19 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BOATMAN’S DAUGHTER by Andy Davidson, the touching story of a hot, hot woman and the adopted fish brother she does a terrible job protecting. They talk being unmoored in space and time, being here there and everywhere, the book’s fatal flaw, and more!

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Garry Kilworth's The Rain Ghost

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE RAIN GHOST by Garry Kilworth, the story of a boy who finds a dagger and uses his D&D skills to help a water ghost. They talk a quirky story, a likable protagonist, a surprisingly good emotional throughline, and conning the BBC.

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R.L. Stine's The Confession

Wed, 05 Mar 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET: THE CONFESSION by R.L. Stine, the story of a group of friends who are forced to enter a murder pact, kind of. They talk a probable ghostwriter, nearly nonexistent protagonist, unfunny friends, lying cliffhangers, blades blades blades, and having an unhinged response to finding out your friend murdered your other friend.

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Betty Ren Wright's Christina's Ghost

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read CHRISTINA’S GHOST by Betty Ren Wright, the story of a girl trying to free a little ghost boy. Just kidding, it’s about a girl forced to be emotionally responsible for her grumpy uncle. They talk stamps! Bad adult behavior! Ghost rules that don’t make sense! And more!

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Carol Plum-Ucci's What Happened to Lani Garver

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read WHAT HAPPENED TO LANI GARVER by Carol Plum-Ucci, the story of a girl in cancer remission othering her non-binary coded friend to angelhood. They talk having the best of intentions while still failing to fully empathize, what Carol gets right, being annoyed by Claire, being unable to save everyone, the evil genius of Macy, and more!

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Mary Downing Hahn's Deep and Dark and Dangerous

Wed, 12 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DEEP AND DARK AND DANGEROUS by Mary Downing Hahn, the story of a weird little girl haunting a family to get them to bury her weird little bones. They talk Ali being a saint, everyone sucking but especially Dulcie, the Dad and Dulcie for sure boning, the sadness of weird girls, the difference between kind and nice, the importance of kids not making bad caregiver behavior okay, and more!

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T. Kingfisher's Thornhedge

Wed, 05 Feb 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai conclude Dueling Fairy Tales January with the Sleeping Beauty adaptation THORNHEDGE by T. Kingfisher. They talk loving the characters, loving the lore, loving the prose, the beauty of a small scale adaptation, bitchy fae, find themselves a Goodreads nemesis, and go off on food delivery apps.

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Robin McKinley's Spindle's End

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai continue Dueling Fairy Tales January with the Sleeping Beauty adaptation SPINDLE'S END by Robin McKinley. They talk loving characters, loving the world, being unmoored in physical space, too many animals, a sapphic kiss, and more!

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T. Kingfisher's Bryony and Roses

Wed, 22 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

It’s week two of Dueling Fairy Tales January! This week Kelly and Katai read the Beauty and the Beast adaptation BRIONY AND ROSES by T. Kingfisher and um… well… look, maybe it was all the fire in Los Angeles this week, but they did not enjoy it.

To donate to Los Angeles fire relief and recovery efforts, visit the following or find your own preferred org:

Wildfire Recovery Fund - California Community Foundation

Animation Guild Disaster Relief Resources

LA Food Bank

World Central Kitchen

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Robin McKinley's Beauty and Rose Daughter

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

It's week one of Dueling Fairy Tales January! First up are *both* of Robin McKinley's Beauty and the Beast adaptations, BEAUTY and ROSE DAUGHTER. They talk lush prose, so many roses, sensual salve application, wind servants, reading vs gardening, wanting to move to Longchance, and more!

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Kathryn Reiss's Paper Quake

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 08:00:00 GMT

Happy New Year! (Meh.) This week Kelly and Katai read PAPERQUAKE by Kathryn Reiss, the story of a maligned triplet who saves the Golden Gate Bridge via papers from the past. They talk cool themes, iffy execution, annoying kids, main character syndrome from a main character, and more!

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Joseph Trainor's Family Crypt

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read TWILIGHT #20: FAMILY CRYPT by Joseph Trainor, the story of a girl whose witch ancestor possesses her via horse and kills people. They talk the empathy being backwards, Ethan Allen being the true villain, convenient plot turns, and go deep on tulpas.

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Les Logan's Unnatural Talent

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DARK FORCES #7: UNNATURAL TALENT by Les Logan, the story of a shy boy who makes a deal with the devil to make his basketball dad proud. They talk deals with the devil going right, iffy date rape messaging, being on the Lakers with our dads, stopping 9/11, and more!

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Beverly Butler's Witch's Fire

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read WITCH'S FIRE by Beverly Butler, the story of a girl with a fucking terrible dad and oh yeah also a witch is there. They talk this absolutely awful fucking dad, poor Kirsty, poor Pam, poor Mrs. Vohl, good disability representation, Candy Land, and again this worthless fucking father.

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R.L. Stine's Night Games

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai talk FEAR STREET #40: NIGHT GAMES by R.L. Stine, the story of a boy who goads his friends into playing nighttime pranks on people as part of a revenge plan. They talk night games definitely being a normal thing we all get, 3rd person limited, how long it takes to strangle someone, being afraid of holiday decorations, sexy corpse boys, and Kelly goes on a Dragon Age: The Valeguard rant.

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Carol Plum-Ucci's The Body of Christopher Creed

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BODY OF CHRISTOPHER CREED by Carol Plum-Ucci, the story of a boy whose life changes after the class weirdo goes missing. They talk teen empathy, blamming oneself, theatre kids using trauma in warm up circles, betting on the wrong royal, the struggle of boundaries, and more!

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Betty Ren Wright's Ghosts Beneath Our Feet

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read GHOSTS BENEATH OUR FEET by Betty Ren Wright, the story of a girl and her stepbrother needing a house to collapse into an old mine just to get their grief-stricken mom to wake the fuck up. They talk old covers, kids leaning to empathize, wanting more ghost, being mad at the mom, and spend like 20 minutes trying to remember which cozy mystery had Dr. #MeToo DDS.

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Bruce Coville's Into the Land of the Unicorns

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read INTO THE LAND OF THE UNICORNS by Bruce Coville, the story of a girl who must balance generational trauma with loving unicorns. They talk doing Chosen One without doing Chosen One, accessible fantasy, unicorns being cool, the unending pain of parental rejection, and more!

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John Hall's The Cheerleaders

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE CHEERLEADERS by John Hall, the story of a girl whose former best friend cheats death so she can kill a bunch of bitchy girls who, oh yeah, also happen to be cheerleaders. They talk hating Holly, glimmers of a better book, rooting for the love interest for once, what we're watching, and the triumphant return of escape rooms!

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Mary Downing Hahn's The Doll in the Garden

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DOLL IN THE GARDEN by Mary Downing Hahn, the story of a ghost, a doll, and a bitchy old lady. They talk forgiveness, consumption, lying babies, bike dicks, and more!

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Dale Cowan's Deadly Sleep

Wed, 16 Oct 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read TWILIGHT #1: DEADLY SLEEP by Dale Cowan, the story of a girl who gets swept up in an angry ghost's Macbeth centered revenge plot on a trip to Scotland. They talk real Macbeth facts, creepy blood licking, amateur photography, downplaying crazy behavior, and tea drinking being a huge red flag.

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Dorothy Brenner Francis's Blink of the Mind

Wed, 09 Oct 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read TWILIGHT #5: BLINK OF THE MIND by Dorothy Brenner Francis, the story of a girl whose parents join a Satanic country club and then she goes on a Princess Cruise. They talk lame songs for babies, setting your teenage ward up with a sea captain, covid and remote work, and more!

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Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew Files #117: Skipping a Beat

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE NANCY DREW FILES #117: SKIPPING A BEAT by Carolyn Keene, wherein our girl Nance has to solve the mystery of who's trying to sabotage a rock star's restaurant and never once suspects the actual culprit. They discuss Nancy's both willingness to cheat and unwillingness to be unprofessional, very boring page filler, how they'd respond to a teen detective getting up in their business, the pitfalls of having a small body and a large hog, and more!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Help Wanted

Wed, 25 Sep 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read HELP WANTED by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the story of a girl who takes a job for a rich family and ends up with three killers and two boyfriends. They talk villains so busy they need an assistant, crazy artist ghosts, the classic bleached blond and sandy brown dichotomy, gaslighting yourself, and more!

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The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett - A Patreon Preview

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 07:00:00 GMT

The Creeps are taking a week off, so here's a full episode preview from our Outside Genre Patreon feed!

Kelly and Katai discuss THE SECRET GARDEN by Frances Hodgson Burnett! Huge thanks to listener Christine for the book suggestion! They talk annoying cousins, lonely children, and perfect 90s adaptations!

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Bruce Coville's Waiting Spirits

Wed, 11 Sep 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read CHAMBER OF HORRORS #4: WAITING SPIRITS by Bruce Coville, the story of a family being haunted by… their family. They talk hunky but patronizing townies, cunty grandmas, crazy ghost moms, shitty dads with misplaced anger, and more!

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Betty Ren Wright's The Dollhouse Murders

Wed, 04 Sep 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DOLLHOUSE MURDERS by Betty Ren Wright, the story of a girl who has to confront some haunted dolls and her family's ableism. They talk loving this book, shitty florists, parents who treat their kids like unpaid nannies, MVP Kathy, and more!

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Les Logan's The Game

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DARK FORCES #1: THE GAME by Les Logan, the story of a girl who has a drama loving demon in her room and brain. They talk Conjuring exorcisms, demons making you mack on your sister’s boyfriend, boring Mozart boys, and only wanting strong milk fed men with strong milk fed femurs.

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R.L. Stine's The Mind Reader

Wed, 21 Aug 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET #26: THE MIND READER by R.L. Stine, the story of a girl who has visions and also a boy who has visions and neither of them can help solve a GOTDAMN MURDER. They talk gaping plot holes, dumb visions, the sister being the real hero, dads who are definitely in love with their daughters, and more!

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R.L. Stine's High Tide

Wed, 14 Aug 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET SUPER CHILLER #12: HIGH TIDE by R.L. Stine, the story of a guy who did *not* kill his girlfriend via Kawasaki Jet Ski®. They talk personal watercraft brand names, unhinged therapy techniques, yet another unacceptable red herring, the evils of AI, and more!

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Pam Conrad's Stonewords

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read STONEWORDS by Pam Conrad, the story of a girl who has to find a way to save the ghost best friend who lived in her house in 1870. They talk evocative writing, complex friendships, absent parents, and how saving a ghost from the clutches of time is exactly like replacing your bathroom sink's P-trap.

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R.L. Stine's All Night Party

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET #43: ALL-NIGHT PARTY by R.L. Stine, the story of a group of teens who go out to celebrate their frenemy's birthday on an island and end up accusing each other of murder, as you do. They talk getting fooled by the villain, wanting more from the kill, protagonists cool with light domestic violence, the merits of letting your parents know you hate your boyfriend and his security knife, and more!

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Samantha Lee's Demon 2

Wed, 24 Jul 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DEMON 2 by Samantha Lee, the better but not quite good sequel to Demon. They talk English sounding characters, interesting villains, wrong eras, nihilistic tone, and more!

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Anna Davies's Followers

Wed, 17 Jul 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FOLLOWERS by Anna Davies, another internet-centric entry in the early 2010s Point Horror reboot, this one a supposed Twitter horror story that left them both rolling their eyes. They talk not getting the Twitter voice, annoying characters, nonsense villain motivation, another lying back of the book blurb, and more!

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Celia Rees's Witch Child

Wed, 10 Jul 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read WITCH CHILD by Celia Rees, a “found diary” 1600s witch trial story. They talk feeling too distant from the main character, frustrations with the format, oh by the way she’s an actual witch moments, nasty Puritan preachers, and more!

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Diane Hoh's The Whisperer

Wed, 03 Jul 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read NIGHTMARE HALL: THE WHISPERER by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who steals a biology exam and gets whisper blackmailed into pranks. They talk a promising premise, lackluster protagonist, iconic villain, and more!

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Peadar O’Guilin's The Call

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE CALL by Peadar O’Guilin, a story of Irish teens getting punished by fairies for their ancestors' colonization sins in a Hunger Games style trial for which everyone is chosen. They talk difficult Gaelic pronunciation, bleak times, good characterization, freaky fairies, terrorism vs war, and more!

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Violet Kupersmith's Build Your House Around My Body

Wed, 19 Jun 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read BUILD YOUR HOUSE AROUND MY BODY by Violet Kupersmith, a story of missing women, ghosts, smoke monsters, and the things that bind them. They talk looooooving the book, intersecting storylines, snakes snakes snakes, terrible Goodreads reviews, and more!

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Caroline B. Cooney's Unforgettable

Wed, 12 Jun 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read UNFORGETTABLE by Caroline B. Cooney, an infuriating lie of a mystery about a girl who gets wrapped up in an art heist and "loses" her memory. They talk unforgivable twists, twists that are unforgivable, and a twist ending that they CANNOT FORGIVE.

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Amelia Atwater-Rhodes's IN THE FORESTS OF THE NIGHT

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read IN THE FORESTS OF THE NIGHT by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, the story of a vampire whose past has become her present, except the real story is that this was written by a 13-year-old. They marvel over the sophisticated storytelling, lament their own abilities at this age, get into the weeds of an Amelia Atwater-Rhodes Google search, and more!

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Chris Van Etten's Wickedpedia

Wed, 29 May 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read a "new" entry in the Point Horror label, 2014's WICKEDPEDIA by Chris Van Etten, the touching story of a boy who accidentally gets his classmates killed through Wikipedia wordplay. They talk being pleasantly surprised, gruesome deaths, confuse their Chris Van Ettens, and more!

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T. S. Rue's Nightmare Inn: The Attic (w/ Jordan Morris)

Wed, 22 May 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai were joined by Jordan Morris (Jordan Jesse Go!, Bubble) in reading NIGHTMARE INN: THE ATTIC by T.S. Rue, the story of four friends who hate each other and get gobbled up by a giant spider. They talk hot bellboys, incel bellboys, caribou romance, being the Allie, rooting for the spider, and more!

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E.L. Konigsburg's From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

Wed, 15 May 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FROM THE MIXED-UP FILES OF MRS. BASIL E. FRANKWEILER by E.L. Konigsburg, the 1968 children's classic about two awesome kids who run away and live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. They talk loving the writing and the kids, generally praise the book, and then accidentally devolve into a long conversation about the depressing and toxic state of the world and themselves. Have fun!

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Annette Curtis Klause's Blood and Chocolate

Wed, 08 May 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE by Annette Curtis Klause, the touching story of a werewolf girl who falls in love with a poseur chicken bitch human boy. They talk hating Aiden, liking Vivian, sexy werewolf times, the Age of Bingo, werewolf mating norms, and more!

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R.L. Stine's THE FACE

Wed, 01 May 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET: THE FACE by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl with amnesia who can't stop drawing a dead dude. They talk Truman Show therapy, the urban legend of coincidences between Lincoln and Kennedy, cool elements and bad execution, and Kelly reaches her breaking point with Twitter.

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Kristina Gregory's ROYAL DIARIES: CLEOPATRA VII

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read ROYAL DIARIES: CLEOPATRA VII, DAUGHTER OF THE NILE by Kristina Gregory, the touching story of Cleopatra when she was apparently at her most boring. They talk never choosing a Pilgrim-ass bitch, getting turned around which Ptolemy is which, Marc Antony being a perv, being pro-Christ pre-Christ, and more!

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R.L. Stine's What Holly Heard

Wed, 17 Apr 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read WHAT HOLLY HEARD by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a school gossip who gets killed for something totally unrelated to her gossiping. They talk hating your friends, sentimental hammers, wild hamsters, eclipses aka little C's, how to recognize one another's clones, and more!

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William March's The Bad Seed

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BAD SEED by William March, the touching story of a homicidal sociopath who happens to be a nine-year-old girl with Heidi braids. They talk distant narrators, creepy girls, Christine taking forever to decide shit, hating Leroy, and more!

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Annette Curtis Klause's The Silver Kiss

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE SILVER KISS by Annette Curtis Klause, the actually touching story of a girl who falls in love with a beautiful vampire boy while losing her mom to cancer. They talk loving the book, Simon's dorky first person narrative, giving teen problems their due, cry about a cat, and more!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Death Threat (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 27 Mar 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Sweet Valley High Correspondent and America's Sweetheart, Ryan Mogge, to talk SWEET VALLEY HIGH #110: DEATH THREAT by Kate William. They talk A+ side plots, Jessica being a waste of Wakefield DNA, lack of ghostwriter communication, Jeremy being a creeper, failed Bruce as Porsche AI, Todd's Hitler 'stache, and more!

Thank you to https://sixteenandperfectforever.wordpress.com/ for the recaps

Failed Bruce AI:

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https://getimg.ai/img/img-OkPDmIMAqvm13E8p6Zj4e

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Lois Duncan's Don't Look Behind You (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Teen Creeps Lo Dunc Correspondent and the handsomest Lo Dunc boy, Patrick Ehlers (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sourcebook, Nintendo Cartridge Society) to discuss maybe the all-time worst entry in the Lo Dunc Verse, DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU, the story of the stupidest little idiot ever to enter into witness protection. They talk Lois Duncan writing her biases, Mommy Sues, THE LETTER (RIP Jim), accepting mediocrity, and more!

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L.J. Smith's The Vampire Diaries #1: The Awakening

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE VAMPIRE DIARIES #1: THE AWAKENING by L.J. Smith, the story of two vampire brothers and the human girl who definitely only loves one of them. They talk missing Night World, Katherine's psychotic thruple or die ultimatum, how vampires need to stop enrolling in high school, debate a Dear Prudence letter that it turns out Katai largely misremembered, and do their very best German and Italian accents.

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Rosemary Wells's When No One Was Looking

Wed, 06 Mar 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read surprise gem WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING by Rosemary Wells, the story of a rising teen tennis star who questions everything when a rival drowns. They talk being happy with your hobby, toxic sports parents, classism, embodying white noise, and how Oliver English needs to get his own fucking life.

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Mary Downing Hahn's Wait Till Helen Comes

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read the middle grade classic WAIT TILL HELEN COMES by Mary Downing Hahn. They talk hating Heather even now, Dave being the absolute fucking worst, feeling for Helen, classic covers, and did they mention Dave fucking sucks?

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Christopher Pike's Sati

Wed, 21 Feb 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read SATI by Christopher Pike, the story of a blonde white woman who claims to be God and makes really good shortbread cookies. They talk meditation, the Love Has Won cult, God's terrible bedside manner, loving a small story, and reveal how little they know about the Dalai Lama.

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My Bloody Valentine (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 08:00:00 GMT

Happy Valentine’s Day! This week Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps Film Correspondent/ray of light Oscar Montoya (Minx, Eurovangelists) to discuss 1981’s “My Bloody Valentine.” They talk loving Hollis, the travesty of 3D, juicy jeaned men, the joys of being a miner, who deserves a musical comeback, and Katai has not one but two mom-brain moments.

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Beatrice Sparks's Almost Lost: The True Story of An Anonymous Teenager's Life on the Streets (w/ Nick Wiger)

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps All-Star Nick Wiger (Doughboys, Get Played) to talk about “Almost Lost: The True Story of An Anonymous Teenager's Life on the Streets,” another supposed Beatrice Sparks PhD “true story” that has them at their wits’ end. They talk unbelievable teen speak, irresponsible library cataloging, gangsta rap Satanism, Wooly Willy vs. Jesus, “therapy” that reads like fanfic, POS’ ‘TUDES, and more!

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: Book of Horrors

Wed, 31 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: Book of Horrors" by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who gets a job with her favorite author and homicidal son. They talk hating your friends, Reed being basic af, getting attacked by birds, loving the villain's end speech, and more!

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Susan Price's The Bearwood Witch

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Bearwood Witch" by Susan Price, the story of a girl, a witch, and the born again dweeb trying to save them both. They talk prideful witches, delightfully gross scenes, identity, and whether or not the universe has a moral arc.

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R.L. Stine's Hit and Run

Wed, 17 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Hit and Run" by R.L. Stine, the story of a boy who takes a corpse prank just a smidge too far. They talk hating your friends, hating your crush, hating Winks, our number one busiest corpse, pity versus empathy, sleepwalking, cookin', and BRANDT TINKERS.

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Mary Downing Hahn's Look for Me by Moonlight

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Look for Me By Moonlight" by Mary Downing Hahn and ask the question, "Who's worse, the vampire or the divorced dad?" They talk abuse analogs, hating Jeff, old losers, relationship regrets, and more!

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R.F. Kruang's Yellowface

Wed, 03 Jan 2024 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang, the story of a white woman who steals her dead Asian friend's unpublished manuscript and is somehow surprised when she gets canceled. They talk online dread, the generational trauma of being racist, being unable to access greatness, and DISCOURSE, DISCOURSE, DISCOURSE.

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Jo Gibson's Slay Bells

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Slay Bells" by Jo Gibson, the story of a bunch of drips in a mall getting killed by an evil Drip Santa. They talk the need for gentle bullying, being obsessed with your drip grandparents, hat on a hat killer motivation, and more!

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Ling Ling Huang's Natural Beauty

Wed, 13 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Natural Beauty" by Ling Ling Huang, the story of a piano prodigy who gets tricked into working at evil Goop. They talk slight sci-fi, second generation experiences, poor Helen, sad grandma dreams, the biology of hair vomit, and more!

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Ann M. Martin's Missing Since Monday

Wed, 06 Dec 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Missing Since Monday" by Ann M. Martin, the story of a girl whose mom kidnaps her sister. Oops! They talk Folgers Christmas siblings-level sexual tension, highly productive teens, hating Brad, slashed up bodies, fights with narcissists, and more!

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R.L. Stine's Broken Date

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Broken Date" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who almost gets killed by a jewel thief because she won't just wear her fucking glasses. They talk incredible left field climaxes, coming untethered from reality, classic fakeouts, 1970s Disney animation, Rabbids Vs. Minions, and more!

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Silvia Moreno-Garcia's Silver Nitrate

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Silver Nitrate" by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, the story of a director, actor, and sound editor who restart a Nazi occultist's film spell in 1990s Mexico City. They talk repetitive narrative, nonsense root race theory, great characterization, tedious lore, and more!

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R.F. Kuang's The Poppy War

Wed, 15 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai venture back into fantasy with “The Poppy War” by R.F. Kuang, the first book in Kuang’s historical fantasy trilogy based on the second Sino-Japanese War of the early 20th century. They talk trauma trauma trauma, the Rape of Nanjing, bearing witness, how violence begets violence, the endless cycle of revenge, and more. CONTENT WARNING: due to the historical basis of the novel and our desire not to gloss over real events, there is graphic discussion of violence and rape, as well as mentions of suicide

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Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew Case Files: Pure Poison

Wed, 08 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read Carolyn Keene's "The Nancy Drew Case Files #29: Pure Poison," the touching story of a probably corrupt, but definitely inept senator who needs a teenager to stop freedom of the press on her behalf. They talk Nancy being on the wrong side of history, Nancy channeling her inner Hilaria Baldwin, Nancy as an action hero, Nancy following orders instead of the truth, and more!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley University: The Roommate (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 03:12:00 GMT

Note: there were some audio issues that caused us to lose some of Ryan's audio in the first three minutes, and for that we sincerely apologize! But the rest of the ep is normal Mogge goodness! We promise!

This week Kelly and Katai are joined once more by their Sweet Valley Correspondent and star, Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping), to talk about "Sweet Valley University Super Thriller: The Roommate," created by Francine Pascal and written by Laurie John. They get into terrible relationship mistakes, Sloppy Joe Country Mice, gaslighting galore, the lack of Elizabeth, and more!

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R.L. Stine's The Babysitter IV

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Babysitter IV" by R.L. Stine, the fourth and final installment in Jenny Jeffers' babysitting nightmare. They talk maybe giving up the profession, Jenny's ongoing obsession with white-blond haired boys, lying ghosts, moms parking it at the local watering hole, and more!

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Rachel Eve Moulton's The Insatiable Volt Sisters

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 23:40:05 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Insatiable Volt Sisters" by Rachel Eve Moulton, a new gothic ghost story with sea monsters and sisters! They talk sad girls, time jumps, beautiful prose, and just generally praise the shit out of the book.

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R.L. Stine's Curtains

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read “Curtains” by R.L. Stine, the story of a brave girl surrounded by theatre freaks at theatre camp doing blood pranks at her. They talk manipulative theatre directors, bitchy friends, troubled divorce kids, and how messed up a person has to be to fell a swan.

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Christopher Pike's Thirst 3: The Eternal Dawn

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Thirst 3: The Eternal Dawn" by Christopher Pike, the seventh entry in his Last Vampire series. They talk similarities to the new Star Wars movies (sort of), not loving the Olympics, losing Sita's longing, unexplained body switches, and mercifully look up the word for something instead of making everyone wait 20 minutes in real time while they try to figure it out.

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Nicholas Adams's New Kid on the Block

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Horror High #4: New Kid on the Block" by Nicholas Adams, the story of a girl who kills to get a new life and also when she is annoyed. They talk being both Team Stephanie and Team Amanda, ugly charm bracelets, drip friends, shitty little stalkers, Elizabeth's embarrassing dance theme, and Katai makes a two year old TikTok recommendation.

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Trang Thanh Tran's She Is a Haunting

Wed, 20 Sep 2023 22:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "She Is a Haunting" by Trang Thanh Tran, a touching story of generational and colonial trauma as told through evil houses and bugs. They talk strong emotional themes, creepy visuals, being confused about the when and the where, cheering for Mom, and more!

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Grady Hendrix's How to Sell a Haunted House

Wed, 13 Sep 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "How to Sell a Haunted House" by Grady Hendrix, a story of generational trauma told through evil puppets. They talk prickly siblings, compartmentalizing trauma, hating Pupkin, loving Barb, and more!

CW: this episode discusses sexual assault (not in detail)

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Janice Harrell's Fatal Magic

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read “Fatal Magic” by Janice Harrell, a book that is decidedly not about an H.H. Holmes death house. They talk loving a nuanced main character, red flag magicians, and try (but fail) to remember the history of DUI infractions in American law.

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Eric Weiner's Deadly Detention

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read “Deadly Detention” by Eric Weiner, aka Breakfast Club but make it horror, and talk surprising villains, some heinous fat shaming, having no choice but to stan a bitch, and more!

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Holly Black's The Wicked King

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Wicked King," the sequel to "The Cruel Prince" and second book in Holly Black's "Folk of the Air" trilogy. Jude and Cardan are back and denying their lust as much as ever! They talk games of throne, evil little bitches, getting outplayed, nursing at cats, and more!

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: The Night Walker

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall #9: The Night Walker" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl who wants revenge and comes up with the most convoluted plan imaginable. They talk unsatisfying twists, bad plans, not-scary "violence," and Kelly begs everyone not to play as the Dark Urge in Baldur's Gate 3.

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Outside Genre Preview: Richard Osman's Thursday Murder Club

Wed, 09 Aug 2023 19:17:24 GMT

This week unfortunately Kelly and Katai were both separately very sick! With different illnesses, no less! What are the freaky odds? So they could not record in time for this week's episode drop. As an offering to THE RAVENOUS CONTENT BEAST here is another Patreon Preview--this is one of our favorite OG books! We will rest up and be back with you soon, we promise!

Kelly and Katai talk Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman! HUGE thank you to Rob and Alissa Nephew for this month's book suggestion! WE LOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY BOOK! A truly charming and cozy whodunit that is shockingly poignant and FULL of twists and turns!

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Caroline B. Cooney's Flight #116 is Down!

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Flight #116 is Down!" by Caroline B. Cooney, the harrowing story of a plane crash and the wholesome teens it brings together. They talk thrashing, slow burn sex parties, dweeby children, what they're watching, and more!

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Patreon Outside Genre Feed Drop: Paul Tremblay's The Cabin at the End of the World

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai give you a preview of their Patreon Outside Genre episodes, with Paul Tremblay's CABIN AT THE END OF THE WORLD! Thank you so much to Diana G for the beautiful book suggestion. This book sticks in your gut and makes you THINK! A story that will CHANGE YOU! A visceral, beautiful, cruel, and hopeful novel. We are ALL BEING TESTED! Read this book NOW if you haven't.

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Carol Gorman's Graveyard Moon

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Graveyard Moon" by Carol Gorman, a story of homicidal drama at a small town grocery store. They talk dumb characters, The Curious Case of Natalia Grace, boringly straightforward plotting, and red herrings who just end up being the killer.

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Celia Rees's Blood Sinister

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Blood Sinister" by Celia Rees, the touching story of a sickly girl who discovers through her great-great-grandmother's diaries that she might be part vampire? Maybe?? They talk intelligent characters, Rh antibodies and pregnancy, othering compliments, Enver Gjokaj, and more!

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Janice Harrell's Vampire's Love #2: Blood Spell

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Vampire's Love #2: Blood Spell" by Janice Harrell, the touching story of a fucking loser who doesn't understand that his vampire girlfriend is better than him. They talk shitty human boyfriends, overly convenient plotting, quick deaths, and go on an extended good parenting tangent.

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Peter Beere's At Gehenna's Door

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "At Gehenna's Door" by Peter Beere, a rare UK Point Horror Unleashed that is very much NOT for babies. They talk FREAKINESS, maggots, being poour, NASTINESS, and invite listeners to cancel them for not wanting to fuck a gollum.

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: Pretty Please

Wed, 21 Jun 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Katai continues to be back on the podcast (oops) and this week she and Kelly covered "Nightmare Hall #7: Pretty Please" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl who gets pushed into a sliding glass door and then has to suffer the trauma of her mirrors being swathed in black cloth (TERRIFYING!!!). They talk the Gollum game, overreacting to fabrics and under-reacting to strangulation, and play a round of the hit new game "Christians or Weird Little Play?"

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Kelly Fremon Craig's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Katai is back and to celebrate, she and Kelly went to the movies together IRL in order to cover Kelly Fremon Craig's adaptation of the Judy Blume novel, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret," both of which are committed to 1) sensitively telling the story of cis-girl puberty woes and 2) using punctuation in the title (although actually it's missing a comma before "God," but we'll forgive them). They generally gush over the film (pun intended) and talk fantastic performances, humanizing the 'rents, getting misty, as well as tangent on Harry and Meghan and (because we are who we are) annoying Twitter behavior.

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Crash Landing! (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk Francine Pascal's SWEET VALLEY HIGH: CRASH LANDING! Poor Enid goes from being almost-dumped to being plane crashed, and Elizabeth does what she does best: manipulates her best friend into performing a miracle! Meanwhile, Jessica schemes to ask a European man in his 20s to her school dance!

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Paul Tremblay's Head Full of Ghosts (w/ Lucas Eubank)

Wed, 31 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Lucas Eubank (What Even is This Podcast) joins Kelly for Paul Tremblay's HEAD FULL OF GHOSTS: a beautiful and heartbreaking and SCARY rumination on faith, truth, exploitation, and siblinghood. They talk creeping sisters, scary spaghetti, and exorcisms for nonbelievers.

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Rosemary Wells's Through the Hidden Door (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 24 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society) joins Kelly for a surprisingly cathartic chat about an equally surprisingly beautiful book: THROUGH THE HIDDEN DOOR by Rosemary Wells. They talk flying in tiny planes, practicing grace, a tiny town, secret relationships, and the cruelty of boys that want to be men.

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Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 17 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Oscar Montoya (Minx on Starz) joins Kelly to talk Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2! What a wild ride. They talk creepy horse tongues, extended bush, locker brain goo, Pokemon Go, and fairy girlies!

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: Deadly Attraction (w/ Dylan Guerra)

Wed, 10 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Dylan Guerra (The Other Two on HBO Max) joins Kelly for Nightmare Hall: Deadly Attraction. A college full of students with unhinged names, sad diner townies, and confusing makeovers!

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Gabrielle Zevin's Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 03 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk the beautiful love and friendship story, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. They talk game design frenemies, frustrating secrets, and one of the most moving explorations of friendship we've read in a long time.

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John Hall's Homecoming Queen (w/ Meridith McNeill)

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Meridith McNeill joins Kelly to talk John Hall's HOMECOMING QUEEN! Lots of mortifying trips down memory lane in this one, folks. Plus, heads in dryers, bees in lockers, and exploding tanning beds galore!

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R.L. Stine's The Boy Next Door (w/ Drew Mackie)

Wed, 19 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Drew Mackie (Gayest Episode Ever, Deep Cuts and Superficial Wounds) joins Kelly to talk R.L. Stine's THE BOY NEXT DOOR, the psychologically harrowing tale of a teenage murderer, empty pool nosediving, shapeless brown sweaters, and slamming hoes in the backyard!

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R.L. Stine's Fear Park: The Loudest Scream (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 12 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Omar Najam joins Kelly for R.L. Stine's Fear Park: The Loudest Scream! Robin Fear is tricking everyone into killing everyone, but still nothing can beat the teen choppies of the last book! Dierdre's father errands save her life, lions eat zoo guys, and poor Meghan is locked up in Fear Manor!

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Wes Craven's Summer of Fear (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 17:22:00 GMT

Patrick Ehlers joins Kelly for Wes Craven's adaptation of LoDunc's SUMMER OF FEAR! Horse girl additions welcome! While it's much more disturbing to see all the male family members fall for cousin Julia, this is a good movie! Hives, awful dresses, and baby Fran Drescher steals the show.

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: The Vampire Trilogy (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 29 Mar 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Sweet Valley High correspondent Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #126-128: Tall, Dark, and Deadly; Dance of Death; and Kiss of a Killer! These books are WILD! A boring and tortured vampire moves to Sweet Valley and Jessica is in LOVE, but she's not the only one! Enid goes goth (and frankly becomes way cooler), Elizabeth is haunted by her summer camp affair, and Todd experiences ego death!

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Cecily von Ziegesar's Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer (w/ Landry Desmond)

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Real-life Serena van der Woodsen Landry Desmond joins Kelly for Cecily von Ziegesar's Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer! Landry suggested this book perhaps solely to invite the comparison! They talk antique sword leg slicing, unsexy body paint, and scary cult churches!

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Wes Craven's Deadly Friend (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest cohost Oscar Montoya (Minx on Starz) for Wes Craven's Deadly Friend! They talk assisting your unrequited love in amateur surgery, best anime and worst Disney, and BASKETBALL!

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R.L. Stine's Fear Park: The First Scream (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 08 Mar 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Omar Najam (Dimension 20's A Court of Fey and Flowers, Banesbreak on Pixel Circus) joins Kelly for R.L. Stine's incredible FEAR PARK: THE FIRST SCREAM! They chat dads floating in purple smoke, Victor Eagle, and teen hatchet fights!

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Lois Duncan's The Twisted Window (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping), joins Kelly for Lois Duncan's TWISTED WINDOW! This, dear listeners, is her LowestDunc. An idiotic girl gets gaslit into kidnapping a strange child, no one can see through this TWISTED WINDOW, and jealousy of a stuffed animal is behind the funniest twist in the history of the written word.

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Scarecrow (w/ Lucas Eubank)

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Lucas Eubank joins Kelly for Richie Tankersley Cusick's Scarecrow! They talk janked up families living deep in the Ozarks, wishing there were more scarecrows creeping around everywhere, and scary magical little girls with shotguns!

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R.L. Stine's Cat (w/ Steven Ray Morris)

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest cohost Steven Ray Morris (My Favorite Murder, The Purrrcast, See Jurassic Right) to talk R.L. Stine's CAT! They talk major narcissists, the joy in knowing a character is going to die, and of course, CATS!

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R.L. Stine's Double Date (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 08 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest cohost Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) for DOUBLE DATE by R.L. Stine! They talk horrible teen science experiments, cannibal ants, and top five hottest Disney Princes!

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Joyce Carol Thomas's Journey

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Journey" by Joyce Carol Thomas, the story of a girl who escapes a body snatching thanks to the help of spiders! They talk lyrical writing, youths vs. olds, people who shouldn't be teachers, susceptibility to cults, MILF Manor, Mrs. Hillary Baldwin, and how it's never just lying about being in 9/11.

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L.J. Smith's Night World: Witchlight

Wed, 25 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Night World: Witchlight' by L.J. Smith, tragically the last entry in the unfinished Night World series. It's supernatural soulmate time again, kids! They talk sad websites, embarrassing fan service, Marvel's Midnight Suns, shifting characterization, Jeremy Renner, and more!

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Arthur Roth's Avalanche

Wed, 18 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Avalanche" by Arthur Roth, the touching story of a boy who tries to shoot a coyote and gets snow punished. They talk forgiving the protagonist, therapizing yourself in an avalanche, and reveal the wonky recording schedule by talking about Christmas movies (and specifically 'Love, Actually') for most of the episode.

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M3GAN (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 11 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Kelly and guest cohost and movie correspondent Oscar Montoya (@ozzymo) talk modern classic M3GAN! GO SEE THIS MOVIE! This depression cure-all has it all: wall-to-wall camp, unforgettable walk-ons, doll day-to-night looks, and TITANIUM!

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Jenny Jones's The Carver

Wed, 04 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Carver" by Jenny Jones, the touching story of a girl who lives near a creepy haunted copse and a creepy haunted boy with a creepy haunted knife who carves creepy wooden puppets and still the creepiest thing that happens is she ends up with her shitty ex. They talk scary scenes, ghost poisoning, how Marty is the best, and more!

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: The Wish

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 00:11:40 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: The Wish" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl whose friends use a fortune telling machine that works by monkey paw wish laws and almost gets sucked into space by the wind. They talk annoying lack of lore details, DIY wind tunnels, confusing physics, and more!

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R.L. Stine's The Surprise Party

Wed, 14 Dec 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Surprise Party" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who starts off trying to throw a fun surprise party for an estranged friend and ends up in a D&D sting op to catch her homicidal, cheating boyfriend. They talk sex LARPing, likable heroines, not knowing how Dungeons & Dragons is played, and more!

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R.L. Stine's The Perfect Date

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street: The Perfect Date" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a boy who meets the girl of his dreams, only to find it getting complicated by the sled-face zombie of his dead girlfriend. They talk gaslighting zombies, tucking your hard-on into your belt, being too dumb to recognize anagrams, and not needing an explanation.

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Silvia Moreno-Garcia's The Daughter of Doctor Moreau

Wed, 30 Nov 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Daughter of Doctor Moreau" by Silvia Moreno-Garcia and talked questionable science ethics, lush writing, sympathetic characters, bad dads, and more!

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R.l. Stine's The Secret Bedroom

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE SECRET BEDROOM by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who starts off trying to steal someone's boyfriend and ends up possessed by a ghost! They talk gaslighting ghosts, spooky scenes, calling your date's girlfriend to see why he stood you up, and Bloourd, the best and least known character in Shadyside.

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Zach Cregger's Barbarian (2022) (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai were once again joined by beloved Teen Creeps Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (HBO Max's Minx) to discuss the movie "Barbarian." They talk creepy gender dynamics, relatable mothers, and more!

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R.L. Stine's Ski Weekend

Wed, 09 Nov 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Ski Weekend" by R.L. Stine, the thrilling story of things that all happen not on a ski weekend, but after a ski weekend, so why is this called "Ski Weekend?" They discuss not skiing, men wrestling strangers, weird men on Thanksgiving, Ariel Monroe Medical Woman, and more!

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Trick 'r Treat

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 07:00:00 GMT

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Mike Flanagan's The Midnight Club on Netflix

Wed, 26 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai talk about Mike Flanagan's Netflix series 'The Midnight Club,' the adaptation of not one, but seven Christopher Pike books! They discuss book to series comparisons (obvi), pet themes, 90s vs Gen Z attitudes, the Garden Wife Controversy (a Twitter main character no one will remember in a month's time), and more!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Blood Roots

Wed, 19 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Blood Roots" by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the touching story of an orphaned teen who returns to her ancestral Southern plantation home and finds out just how fucked up one family can be. They talk unexamined racism, ambiguous action, falling into hiding, eating your mom, and more!

***CW: racism, incest, sexual assault, cannibalism***

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Caroline B. Cooney's Driver's Ed

Wed, 12 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Driver's Ed" by Caroline B. Cooney, the touching story of a pair of teens who steal a stop sign and ruin everyone's life. They talk psychological trauma, cold moms, forgiveness, how Mac is MVP of the book, and just generally gush over Cooney's writing.

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Urban Legend (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 05 Oct 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Katai is back from maternity leave, and she and Kelly are joined by Teen Creeps Sweetheart and Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (HBO Max’s Minx) to discuss the 1998 film “Urban Legend!” They talk Katai’s harrowing labor experience, Rebecca Gayheart’s lip sync-worthy performance, Scream parallels, iconic deaths, and more!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's House Next Door (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 28 Sep 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Omar Najam (A Court of Fey and Flowers, 13days13shorts) joins Kelly to talk Richie Tankersley Cusick's The House Next Door! They talk murdering someone with ornamental scissors, the beauty of true love, and weigh out embarrassment over being asked out on a dare vs. the promise of immortality.

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Lois Duncan's Gallows Hill (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 21 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Patrick Ehlers (Same Day Shipping, Nintendo Cartridge Society) joins Kelly to talk Gallows Hill by Lois Duncan! They talk about Salem Witch Trial mass hysteria, Patrick's very own Slenderman, and weirdly a lot about 9/11!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Who's Who (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 14 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Kelly and guest cohost Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) talk Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Who's Who? Jessica is pretending to be the punkiest punk rocker and the richiest rich sophisticate in order to date two guys at once, and Elizabeth is practicing her recorder! Plus, the most unforgivable airport sins.

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Happy Birthday to Me (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Kelly and guest cohost Oscar Montoya (Minx on HBOMax) talk Happy Birthday to Me! They talk very avoidable deaths, crotch weightlifting kills, and brain poking!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Vampire (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and guest cohost Omar Najam (The Borros Saga: Banesbreak on PixelCircus, Dimension 20's A Court of Fey and Flowers) talk Richie Tankersley Cusick's Vampire! There are a ton of hot guys in this book, and all of them want Darcy, and only one of them is her uncle! And there are NO vampires!

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Lois Duncan's Locked in Time (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 24 Aug 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and guest cohost Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) talk Lois Duncan's Locked in Time! They talk the saddest age to be stuck living forever, hot tortured stepbrothers, and read tweets from the worst twitter account in existence (hint: we're pawfully sorry to expawse mew to this accmeownt!)

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Hostage (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Hostage! They talk vigilante justice, a perfectly terrible proposal, and Regina Morrow's cruel fate!

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Linda Cargill's Hang Loose

Wed, 10 Aug 2022 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Hang Loose" by Linda Cargill, the touching story of a girl who thinks she's being stalked by literal rope. They talk irritating dialect writing, a killer playing 4-D chess, big ol' watermelon boobs, forgetting your own ghost lore, and hating absolutely every single character.

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Philip Gross's Facetaker

Wed, 03 Aug 2022 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read Philip Gross's "Facetaker," the touching story of a teenage manipulator who tricks other teens into acting like assholes by vaguely implying a photo booth has powers. They talk extremely vague photo booth lore, deranged aunts, getting off on lying because you're sad, very imbalanced sacrifices, badly executed themes, and more.

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Cherry Falls (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Guest co-host Oscar Montoya (HBOMax's Minx, Podcast Killed the Video Star) joins Kelly to talk Cherry Falls! WATCH THIS AMAZING MOVIE! They talk father-daughter martial arts chemistry, toe-biting (harder!), and affording yourself the kindness that you afford others.

CW: this episode mentions sexual violence (no graphic descriptions)

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R.L. Stine's The Dare (w/ Meridith McNeill)

Wed, 20 Jul 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Meridith McNeill (Swell Boys) joins Kelly to talk R.L. Stine's The Dare! They chat unhinged girlie moments, piercing green eyes, and how rich kids get away with everything!

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R.L. Stine's First Date (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 13 Jul 2022 07:00:00 GMT

Guest cohost Omar Najam (Banesbreak, PowerPlay) joins Kelly to talk about R.L. Stine's First Date! They talk Hot Lizard Summer, relationship/self-love advice, and accidentally call the main character the wrong name the entire episode!

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: The Roommate

Wed, 06 Jul 2022 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: The Roommate" by Diane Hoh. They talk loving Lacey, wearing masks, college nostalgia, and how if you're not present for the call then girl that call did not take place.

***

We want to take a moment to address the June 24th, 2022 Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe versus Wade. This decision stripped away the right to have a safe and legal abortion.

Everyone should have the freedom to decide what’s best for themselves and their families, including when it comes to ending a pregnancy. This decision has dire consequences for individual health and safety, and could have harsh repercussions for other landmark decisions.

Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans.

Learn more by visiting podvoices.help. If you’re able to support others, please consider donating to abortion funds.

We encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread the word.

abortion.cafe - collection of abortion resources
shoutyourabortion.com - campaign to normalize abortion
donations4abortion.com - donate to support abortion funds by state
secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds - donate to the national network of abortion funds (donations split between 80+ abortion funds)
usow.org/repro/volunteer - list of abortion clinics across the country that need volunteers
dontbanequality.com - language for companies to use to stand against the ruling
plancpills.org/ambassadors - early abortion access pills you can store in your cabinet
prochoice.org - abortion access hotline
natalist.com/products/early-pregnancy-test-strips - buy early pregnancy test strips
plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control - get info on types of birth control
choice.crd.co - collection of these above links and more, managed by @starplanes (DM them on twitter to add more)
guttmacher.org/state-policy/explore/abortion-policy-absence-roe - abortion policy by state as of June 1, 2022. More in-depth version: guttmacher.org/state-policy

***

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's Fear Street Seniors - Chapter 1: Let's Party

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street Seniors: Episode One: Let's Party" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a group of high school kids who get together at a party, and that's it that's basically all that happens and everyone lives. They talk having a disrespect kink, too many characters, escaping to the big city of Deluth, and the unstoppable trio of Patrick Melrose, Phil Burbank, and Gary Fresno.

***

We want to take a moment to address the June 24th, 2022 Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe versus Wade. This decision stripped away the right to have a safe and legal abortion.

Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans.

Learn more by visiting podvoices.help. If you’re able to support others, please consider donating to abortion funds.

We encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread the word.

abortion.cafe - collection of abortion resources
shoutyourabortion.com - campaign to normalize abortion
donations4abortion.com - donate to support abortion funds by state
secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds - donate to the national network of abortion funds (donations split between 80+ abortion funds)
usow.org/repro/volunteer - list of abortion clinics across the country that need volunteers
dontbanequality.com - language for companies to use to stand against the ruling
plancpills.org/ambassadors - early abortion access pills you can store in your cabinet
prochoice.org - abortion access hotline
natalist.com/products/early-pregnancy-test-strips - buy early pregnancy test strips
plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control - get info on types of birth control
choice.crd.co - collection of these above links and more, managed by @starplanes (DM them on twitter to add more)
guttmacher.org/state-policy/explore/abortion-policy-absence-roe - abortion policy by state as of June 1, 2022. More in-depth version: guttmacher.org/state-policy

***

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's The Mind Reader (w/ Brendan Milove)

Wed, 22 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest cohost Brendan Milove to talk R.L. Stine's The Mind Reader, yet ANOTHER teenage psychic and older man romp! They talk shared sibling DNA (how much can we get away with, here?), very unfunny protagonists, and the funniest drowning scene in history.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lois Duncan's The Third Eye (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 15 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk LoDunc's The Third Eye, and they just can't get behind this one! They talk adult cops dating psychic teens, very stupid protagonists, and hatch maybe the best get rich quick (over nine months... ten?) scheme ever hatched up!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's Missing

Wed, 08 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street: Missing" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of two dum dums whose parents go missing while infiltrating a MAGA cult. They talk inept FBI agents, ass kicking girlfriends, and go deep on relationships and guilt!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Carol Ellis's Zodiac Chillers #2: Scorpio Society (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest co-host Omar Najam (Banesbreak on PixelCircus, Power Play on QueueTimes) to talk Carol Ellis's Zodiac Chillers #2: Scorpio Society! They talk making enemies at Sugarfish, Father's Chocolate, and driving for the first time in a car that you had previously only ever ridden in!

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Caroline B. Cooney's Wanted!

Wed, 25 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Wanted!" by Caroline B. Cooney, the touching story of a girl who goes on the run when she ISN'T suspected for murder. They talk Eggbort, embarrassing memoirs, meaningless MacGuffins, the wrong way to splorp ashes, naked hideouts, and the lowest stakes run from the law in all of literature.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's Haunted

Wed, 18 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read “Fear Street: Haunted” by R.L Stine, the touching story of a girl who falls in love with her own future murder victim, sort of. They talk ghostly timeline logistics, loser boyfriends, and find themselves in one of their shorter episodes on account of LIFE STUFF.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall: Guilty

Wed, 11 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: Guilty" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl who gets more outgoing after her boyfriend dies and almost gets murdered for it. They talk friends not seeing red flags, being confused about characters' family trees, stanning Allan's villain turn, squealing over your stalkee stalking you, and the complicated physics of garment bags.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Richie Tankersley Cusick's Starstruck

Wed, 04 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Starstruck" by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the touching story of a girl who wins a contest to meet her favorite actor and almost gets murdered. They talk highly questionable men's fashion, being stuck in the 1940s, manic pixie dream boys, humorless Twitter killjoys, Helpful Honda terrorists, and being totally baffled as to who the killer is right up to the very end.

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Richard Peck's Secrets of the Shopping Mall

Wed, 27 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Secrets of the Shopping Mall" by Richard Peck, the touching story of a couple kids who run away from home to live in a mall and encounter some extremely cloying runaways. They talk books for babies, whether there's a supernatural element, and the muddled pro-capitalist message at the core.

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D.E. Athkins's Swans in the Mist

Wed, 20 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read “Swans in the Mist” by D.E. Athkins, the touching story of a girl whose sister marries a guy who it turns out was on the market for a teenage daughter to groom and lock in a tower… oops! They talk non-problematic V.C. Andrews, loving Lilli but feeling like she gotta die, having no use whatsoever for Jon, and Jason Ducat being the new Tiny Grandpa.

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R.L. Stine's The Stepsister

Wed, 13 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read “Fear Street #9: The Stepsister” by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a drip who is too dumb to know her actual sister hates her. They talk classic murder pranks, why you shouldn’t date your sister’s ex, whining about cake, and an iconic confession by way of dead bunny toss.

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Nick Turnbull's Eve's Party

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Eve's Party" by Nick Turnbull, the touching story of a devil child who gets a worm put down her dress in 1936 and decides errbody gotta die. They talk Point Horror for British Babies, how one of Kelly's hypotheticals was drawn from the cultural zeitgeist, differing interpretations of Eve, shark mind control, and condensed milk and mushrooms (yum).***

***CONTENT WARNING: mention of character suicide (no graphic descriptions).***

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Christopher Pike's The Star Group

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Star Group" by Christopher Pike, the touching story of five good aliens who are unfortunately not good at their jobs and one evil lizard alien who is unfortunately very good at her job. They talk being dirty little soda bitches, lizard people Excel sheets, shipping everyone with everyone, the truth of hypnotainment, and how human souls get put in bellies.***

***CONTENT WARNING: mentions of suicide and police violence against a Black character (no graphic descriptions).***

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Janice Harrell's Vampire's Love #1: Blood Curse

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 04:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Vampire's Love #1: Blood Curse" by Janice Harrell, the touching story of a beautiful Sloppy Joe vampire who falls in love with a human boy. They talk being blinded by the book length, aspirational over-identifying with the main character, having no choice but to stan Chelsea, and why you definitely shouldn't go to prom with Vlad.

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Sinclair Smith's Second Sight

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 04:01:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Second Sight" by Sinclair Smith, the touching story of a blind girl who gets a psychic's cornea implanted into her eyeball and joins the NYPD. They talk the weird subgenre of teen girl/grizzled detective buddy cop thriller they keep encountering, not buying red herring bullshit, and accidentally rant about culture wars for about 40 minutes.

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R.L. Stine' Switched

Wed, 09 Mar 2022 05:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street #31: Switched" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who switches bodies with her best friend by jumping off a wall. They talk running running running, people losing their heads, loving a sad ending, and pointy teeth hypotheticals.

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Diane Hoh's Blindfold

Wed, 02 Mar 2022 05:00:00 GMT

This week on the pod... cast... Kelly and Katai read "The Blindfold" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl getting her ass handed to her over and over again in an old courthouse. They talk liking the protagonist, not feeling the romance, being too stupid to just move old bones, the show Pen15, and not caring about a building.

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Carol Ellis's Zodiac Chillers #1: Rage of Aquarius

Wed, 23 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read the first of the Zodiac Chillers series, "Rage of Aquarius" by Carol Ellis, the touching story of a very average Gemini who kills all his friends in the name of his dead Aquarius girlfriend. They talk problematic red herrings, making your astrological sign your whole identity, and what they would and would not do to prevent an international incident.

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Valentine (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 08:00:00 GMT

Guest Cohost and film correspondent Oscar Montoya (Podcast Killed the Video Star, Inside the Disney Vault, Minx on HBOMax) joins Kelly to talk the 2001 slasher VALENTINE! They talk physically confusing twist endings, dangerous men in all the wrong places, and watch a David Boreanaz video!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Wrong Kind of Girl (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 09 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

***This week Kelly and Katai were joined by SVH Correspondent Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) in reading "Sweet Valley High: Wrong Kind of Girl" by Francine Pascal (aka Kate William aka maybe someone else), the touching story of a very nice fifteen-year-old girl being tortured by a sociopathic twin with sea green eyes and a dimple in her left cheek. They talk why Jessica is the way she is, irresponsible suicide messaging, the book not fully grasping why Jessica is so out of line, Elizabeth thinking anything sad is TMI, and the piercing of the veil between our world and the beyond.

***Content Warning: Suicide***

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Someone at the Door (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 02 Feb 2022 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest co-host Omar Najam (PowerPlayRPG, Thank You For Questing!) to talk Richie Tankersley Cusick's Someone at the Door, the heartwarming story of two adult men helping two teenage girls not solve a murder. Plus, murderous shirts, the tiny guy in your doorbell, and destroying pair after pair of your paramour's dad's pants.

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Lois Duncan's Ransom (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly is joined by guest co-host and Lo Dunc Correspondent Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) in reading Lois Duncan's Ransom. They talk learning to drive stick alone in Mr. Big Tipper's huge truck, trying to rescue your kidnapper like a chump, and Jollibee's dad's name.

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Silver Ravenwolf's Witches' Key to Terror

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Witches' Key to Terror" by Silver Ravenwolf, the touching story of a crime-solving coven that only begrudgingly helps solve a mystery at a hillbilly orchard. They talk bickering witches, shocking pregnancy violence, how Orchard Dad is the true villain, the origins of pow-wow faith healing, ignoring worm auras, and how this is the Jennifer of crime-solving covens.

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R.L. Stine's The Overnight

Wed, 12 Jan 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read 'Fear Street #3: The Overnight' by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who joins a sad club and kills a man with Soft Pulse Syndrome. They talk quote-unquote twists, how the Outdoors Club is like the pandemic, and the heavy #Yellowjackets Misty/Coach vibes coming from Maia.

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Nicole Davidson's Fan Mail

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fan Mail" by Nicole Davidson, the touching story of a high school student who gets the lead role in a horror movie only to get almost murdered by the least believable red herring. They talk dreamy stalkers, suspicious phone calls, being up on the terms of the biz, and confusing castle physics.

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Joan Lowery Nixon's The Stalker

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Stalker" by Joan Lowery Nixon, the touching story of a girl whose best friend is accused of murdering her mother and the girl subsequently gets strong-armed into becoming a cop. They talk almost 100% about how Jennifer has no business being a cop and Kelly comes up with two perfect character voices.

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L.D. Pierce's The Dreamer

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Dreamer" by L.D. Pierce, the touching story of a girl who has to save her baby sister from a demon by enlisting her friends to break a dam and set her house on fire. They talk being relieved by the lack of a magical negro character, teenage panic moves, being distracted by hot dream demons, how unfortunately at this moment in time they are very small and very fast, their 12-tape acting class available on cassette, the Paramount Plus show 'Evil,' and how of course they are both the Paul.

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Linda Cargill's Pool Party

Wed, 08 Dec 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Pool Party" by Linda Cargill, the touching story of a girl being gaslighted by her homicidal treasure hunting 50s greaser boyfriend. They talk nonsensical undercover cops, 1996 flip phones, Occam's Razor haunted dolls, treasure hunters turned immersive theatre troupe, and more!

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Barbara Steiner's The Dreamstalker

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Dreamstalker" by Barbara Steiner, the touching story of a boy twin who goes full Freddie Krueger to get the love of his girl twin. They talk INCEST, fake high school psychiatry classes, INCEST, deadbeat parents, INCEST, the world's worst hypothetical, INCEST, and also INCEST.

**Content Warning: incest.**

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Patreon Preview: Outside Genre Episode: Elizabeth Wein's Code Name Verity

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 08:00:00 GMT

It’s Thanksgiving week and we have places to be, so it’s time for another PATREON PREVIEW. We’re releasing one of our $8+ perks, an Outside Genre Episode on Elizabeth Wein's Code Name Verity! Huge thanks to listener Randi Klett for the book suggestion! We loved this book!! A beautiful, twisty turny WWII story about love, friendship, and truth. And we cry talking about it.

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Diane Hoh's The Fever

Wed, 17 Nov 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Fever" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl who goes to the hospital for a mysterious fever, is a raving bitch to the 500 high schoolers who work there, and almost gets killed because some girl doesn't know she can just lie. They talk Shutter Island-type hospitals, the sexual pull of pranks, gaslighting vs. murdering, why-is-this-milk pranks, and go off on some of their least favorite Twitter personalities.

**Correction: Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles, CA is non-profit!!! Katai should be less confident in her knowledge of the tax filing status of Los Angeles area hospitals.**

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Tessa Krailing's The Nightmare Man

Wed, 10 Nov 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Nightmare Man" by Tessa Krailing, aka British Point Horror for Babies. They talk Goodreads class assignment reviews, the OG Nightmare Man Jesus Christ, the moment they realized they were reading some shit for babies, do some terrible accents, being bad vs being cancelable, 100% correct headcanon, Thomas Harris' version of the book, and the Haunting of Gull Cottage.

Link to Haunting of Gull Cottage: https://www.wob.com/en-us/books/tessa-krailing/haunting-of-gull-cottage/9780590134323

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R.L. Stine's Killer's Kiss (w/ Roger Barr)

Wed, 03 Nov 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by horror aficionado Roger Barr (i-Mockery.com, Cyanide & Happiness' Freakpocalypse) to discuss "Killer's Kiss" by R.L. Stine. They talk Conklin Awards, busy villains, character actress Nicole Kidman, and (whispers) Midnight Wine.

**Content Warning: the subject of suicide is brought up at the end of the episode.**

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (U.S.) 1-800-273-8255

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

For lifeline help in your region: https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469

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Ginger Snaps (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by beloved Teen Creeps Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya to discuss the 2000 teen werewolf movie "Ginger Snaps." They talk funny lines, try hard moms, Canadian fuckboys, layered characters, cool druggies, movie trivia, strong emotional themes, giving it up for the late great Brittany Murphy, and BECOMING THE GINGER WHO SNAPS.

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Thirteen: 13 Tales of Horror by 13 Masters of Horror

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read the seminal 1991 collection of short stories, "Thirteen: 13 Tales of Horror by 13 Masters of Horror" edited by T. Pines and featuring:

D.E. Athkins

A. Bates

Jay Bennett

Caroline B. Cooney

Carol Ellis

Diane Hoh

Lael Littke

Christopher Pike

Sinclair Smith

J.B. Stamper

R.L. Stine

Ellen Emerson White

and Patricia Windsor.

This collection has it all! Soggy bottom boys! Creepy cassettes! Cursed lollipops! Boring paintings! The movie "The Happening," but deer! And more! Plus side conversations about QAnon Anonymous and what happens when you discover Jeffrey Epstein is letting just anyone onto the pedophile island.

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Franklin Dixon's Hardy Boys Case Files #86: Virtual Villainy (w/ Madeline Queripel)

Wed, 13 Oct 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai were joined by Madeline Queripel (Regular Show, Steven Universe, Infinity Train) in reading "Hardy Boys Case Files #86: Virtual Villainy" by Franklin Dixon, the touching story of a whiny video game developer pirating his own company's games to get back at his bosses for not laughing at his credit card prank. They talk being scared by VR, whether Franklin Dixon actually knows how video games are made, the Hardy Boys' depressed fear response, nothing stakes, Desert Storm, more '90s health food, and the best kinds of death.

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R.L. Stine's The Sleepwalker (w/ Danielle Radford)

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai were joined by Danielle Radford (Misfits and Magic, Honest Trailers) in reading R.L. Stine's "The Sleepwalker," the touching story of a girl being gaslighted by her close-up magician boyfriend. They talked C. Pike v. Robert, never trusting Walker, MVP Hazel, trying to be the cool girlfriend, quippy moms, cold pasta salads with mayonnaise, thick neck men, two party consent, and regional pig knuckles.

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Carol Ellis's The Window (w/ Mike Trapp)

Wed, 29 Sep 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Mike Trapp (College Humor, Um Actually) to breakdown "The Window" by Carol Ellis, the touching story of a girl trying to re-enact Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" to very boring results. They talk "The Window" by Carol Ellis, ciphers, a little book called "The Window" by Carol Ellis, little peepers, hot wet blankets, Carol Ellis' seminal work "The Window," boy-girl twin weirdness, calling out plot holes in dialogue, how this is the ideal book for the loneliest person in the world, and an obscure work of fiction called "The Window" by Carol Ellis.

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R.L. Stine's The Babysitter III

Wed, 22 Sep 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Babysitter III" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who thinks she's being stalked by a dead man, but is actually turning into a dead man?? They talk two flavors of cliffhanger, trying to wrap their minds around what these boys look like, Debra being relatable, and then basically just struuuugggggle to find something to talk about until Kelly heroically describes the show "Alone" for half an hour.

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R.L. Stine's The Rich Girl (w/ Scott Gairdner)

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai were joined by guest Scott Gairdner (Conan, Podcast the Ride) to read "The Rich Girl" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl being gaslighted over funny money. They talked twists and turns, when animals attack, money blinding you to cheating, yet another teen being amazing at stage makeup, and the alternate dimension of the Untied States of America.

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Lois Duncan's Summer of Fear (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 08 Sep 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by their Lo Dunc Correspondent Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) to talk Lois Duncan's 1976 novel "Summer of Fear." They discuss Ozark witches, cousin boners, Rachel missing cue after cue, seducing everyone with your Ozark wiles, sexiest banks, driving in weather, and, most importantly, unpack just how bad FarmersOnly.com is.

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L.J. Smith's Black Dawn (Night World Book 8)

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Night World: Black Dawn" by L.J. Smith, the touching story of a human girl who it turns out has a vampire soulmate, which is different from the other Night World books in that it isn't at all, it is the exact same. They talk spunky one-dimensional heroines, nicknames that come too soon in a friendship, the Wish.com version of Night World, Delos as the syndicated TV version of Ash, and creepy, creepy boy-girl siblings.

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Summer of Secrets (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by an absolute king, Mr. No Commentary himself, Omar Najam (El Rey Nation, Thank You For Questing, Power Play)! They read "Summer of Secrets" by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the touching story of a girl who tries to visit her aunt, but ends up in the sights of a serial killer. They talk very mean boys, love squares, finding arms, cookie privilege, losing your words in Long Beach, and end up recording an episode so long, it exceeds the amount of time it takes to read the book.

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Christopher Pike's The Grave

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Grave" by Christopher Pike, the touching story of a girl who gets bamboozled into carrying the possible Antichrist by a medical zombie. They talk Eric the mens rights zombie, zombie love triangles, Scalia's decision on which books Teen Creeps cover, the creativity of a Jesus who doesn't give a shit about us, Medieval river fetish hypotheticals, and FINALLY address the Y2K mummy in the room. #AlwaysForget

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Tracy Deonn's Legendborn

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Legendborn" by Tracy Deonn, the awesome story of a girl's struggle with her mother's death, King Arthur, the generational trauma of slavery, and two very hot boys. They talk Sel vs. Nick, subverting Arthurian legend, enemies to lovers, how we all know the reason, the selfishness of grief, giving props to the good boy, and Tunnel Daddies.

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley University: Killer at Sea (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 04 Aug 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Sweet Valley University: Killer at Sea" by Francine Pascal (or, y'know, whoever) and so, of course, were joined by Sweet Valley High Correspondent Ryan Mogge! They talked Jessica's growth as a bitch, dweeby karate villains, JUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!, going to Tiki Room heaven, snippy red herring partners, and the absolute coldest (and maybe only?) rejection of a Wakefield twin they've ever read. See you on the high seas maybe!!

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Caroline B. Cooney's Whatever Happened to Janie?

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read the second in Caroline B. Cooney’s Janie Johnson series, “Whatever Happened to Janie?” the touching story of a girl who saw her face on a milk carton and now has to live with a bunch of nosy redheads. They discussed crying, being in the worst Janie timeline, God cucking himself, Reeve being the horny worst, fetishization of the mommy lady from whatever, the Jodie of it all, and the kind of icky NIMBY ending.

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Grady Hendrix's The Final Girl Support Group

Wed, 21 Jul 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Final Girl Support Group" by Teen Creeps fave Grady Hendrix, the touching story of a final girl's mission to save her fellow final girls. They talk whether Crazy Chrissy is dangerous or a Dexter, the slasher glass ceiling, generational trauma, the heartbreak of Lynnette being wrong about absolutely everything, where Heather falls on the Teen Creeps Cunt Scale (TM), and how the book would have suffered if they'd been in the group.

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Netflix's Fear Street Part 3: 1666 (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly, Katai, and Teen Creeps Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya gather into a coven once more to cover Fear Street Part 3: 1666, the third and final movie in Netflix's Fear Street trilogy-- and, baby, THEY LOVED IT. They talk ACAB/ACAD/ACMADWTD, Sataz, dalliances, the VVitch, gross fan entitlement, LORE LORE LORE, and Kelly and Oscar relentlessly persecute Katai as though they're the residents of Union.

[[cw: quote of a homophobic slur]]

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Sinclair Smith's Let Me Tell You How I Died

Wed, 14 Jul 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Let Me Tell You How I Died" by Sinclair Smith, the touching story of a girl possessed by a bitchy diary. They talk being terrified of light teasing, stupid people losing time, and characters remembering things instead of having thoughts.

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Netflix's Fear Street Part 2: 1978

Fri, 09 Jul 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This episode Kelly and Katai discuss the second installment in Netflix's adaptations of R.L. Stine's Fear street series, Fear Street Part 2: 1978! They talk 1970s slasher tropes, the actress who plays Jeanette/Sheila being the villain of the Summer of 2021, more needle drops, chest hacking, DC's Justice League, a return to straight whiteness, Goode versus Fier lore, a Fear Street that fucks, and (again) their sky high hopes for Fear Street Part 3: 1666.

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Netflix's Fear Street Part 1: 1994 (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Teen Creeps Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (Podcast Killed the Video Star, Spanish Aqui Presents) to discuss the first installment of the new Netflix movie adaptations of R.L. Stine's Fear Street series: Fear Street Part I: 1994! It's the moment they didn't know to dream of their entire lives!! They discuss being very pleasantly surprised, anachronistic needle drops, famous skinhead Jack Skellington, Simon's queer vibes, who this film is for, why you should pay attention to your dreams, being the freakiest person on the plane, Nazi girlbosses, and having sky high hopes for getting that sweet, sweet lore in Fear Street Part 3: 1666.

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R.L. Stine's Fear Street Sagas #1: A New Fear

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street Sagas #1: A New Fear" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a Fear fishmonger baby who makes his way back to Shadyside and all hell breaks loose. They talk the origin of red ink, the viability of hair ropes, evil amulets, girls with dead fish eyes, and how Brandon the Ghostwriter did not come to play.

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Lael Littke's Haunted Sister

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Haunted Sister" by Lael Littke, the touching story of a girl who almost dies, goes to heaven, and accidentally brings back her dead sexy-baby twin in her noggin. They talk how big the population of people who've brought back their dead twins in their brains is, lying about sexual partners, being genuinely touched by the end of the book, people who use therapy as justification for being terrible, struggle to remember the name of the kids' car they never do remember the name of, and bag on Apple Podcasts for ruining Teen Creeps' distribution.

Links to things they talked about:

Funny Ross al-Ghul/Lin Manuel Miranda tweet - https://twitter.com/RachaelAtWork/status/1402029981295915012?s=20

The kids' car style they still don't know the name of - https://amzn.to/3gQ8o3V

Richie Rich version of the kids' car - https://bit.ly/3zR7DPt

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Diane Hoh's Truth or Die

Wed, 16 Jun 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: Truth or Die" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a freshman in college who blunders her way into a 10 year old summer camp revenge plot. They talk being bored by supportive boyfriends, truth or dare games as proto-cults, losing track of characters, songs TikTok has ruined for them, and absolutely freak out over Harry Potter insert fan videos.

Follow Harry Potter fan fic queen Claudia Alende here: https://www.tiktok.com/@claudiaalende

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's The Drifter

Wed, 09 Jun 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DRIFTER by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the touching story of a girl being gaslighted for pirate treasure. They talk being over Nora, Canadian gun runners, thirsty moms, the practical real world value of bejeweled pirate hooks, and perform improvised role play to get into the heads of the characters.

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Cruel Intentions (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 07:00:00 GMT

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD! This week Kelly and Katai are back IN PERSON and joined by Teen Creeps Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (Podcast Killed the Video Star) to talk about the formative '90s movie Cruel Intentions! They discuss their very public falling out, SMG's iconic turn and absolute domination of the year 1999, ask the hard questions about whether Reese Witherspoon's character is actually very dumb, Kelly coins the perfect term "coylord," they decide who the true villain of the movie is (Valmont duh), and debate what is the true intention of cruel intentions.

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Carol Ellis's Silent Witness

Wed, 26 May 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read SILENT WITNESS by Carol Ellis, the touching story of a girl who inherits a videotape from her dead friend, doesn’t bother to watch the whole thing, and spends almost the whole book confused about why someone is trying to kill her. They discuss being terrified of mad faces, flimsy excuses for leaving in the middle of a date, and how to flirt your way out of being murdered.

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D.E. Athkins's The Cemetery

Wed, 19 May 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE CEMETERY (aka THE RIPPER?) by D.E. Athkins, the touching story of a Hallowe’en ghost maybe and then possibly a second ghost, and find themselves asking, “What??” a lot. They also discuss TOO MANY CHARACTERS, what the hell a journal psychic is, try to decide how to pronounce “Char” and never quite settle on a solution, and Kelly teaches Katai the lyrics to the titular song from the hit musical “Have You Heard the News?”

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Patreon Preview: Outside Genre Episode - Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown's Wish You Were Here

Wed, 12 May 2021 07:00:00 GMT

Patreon Preview: OUTSIDE GENRE EPISODE!

Kelly and Katai read Wish You Were Here by Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown! That's right, it's a cozy murder mystery written by a cat! And maybe Kelly and Katai's new favorite book series?! People are getting cement mixed, split by trains, and shot in the woods! And Mrs. Murphy the cat and her best friend Tee Tucker the corgi are on the case! Oh yeah, and their owner, postmistress Harry too! Huge thanks to listener Inga P. for the book suggestion!!

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V.C. Andrews's Seeds of Yesterday

Wed, 05 May 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read SEEDS OF YESTERDAY by V.C. Andrews, the touching conclusion to the story of siblings who touch. The Dollangangers are back, baby, and they discuss hating Bart again but hating Chris more, being a NIMBY about incest, sexual oversharing with your mom, wild Christmas toasts, problematic monk uncles, and the overarching thesis to all V.C. Andrews books, which is that moms are terrible.

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R.L. Stine's Bad Moonlight

Wed, 28 Apr 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly, Katai, and Andrew read BAD MOONLIGHT by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who joins a band, but oops, all werewolves. They discuss their fave Fear Street covers, give it up to Robert for doing what Robert does best, question what Danielle's little brother Cliff thinks is happening, demand justice for Dee, question werewolf lore and physics, workshop the ideal last line of the book, and get into the optimal audio settings of the podcast.

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Peter Lerangis's Driver's Dead

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DRIVER'S DEAD by Peter Lerangis, the story of a girl looking to free the spirit of the dead boy who used to live in her room by returning a piece of jewelry. They discuss unexpected crying, delicately handled racism, being nervous about how a white dude is about to write about a Vietnamese dude, the super fun racism Kelly's had to deal with, gush about Deadwood for a long time, magic murder car fliers, and unpack the likelihood of whether Virgil would know what a revenant is.

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R.L. Stine's The Knife

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE KNIFE by R.L. Stine, the touching story of not a knife. They talk how the book isn't about knives, the general lack of knife representation, how the book is lacking in diversity of knives, the number of people who die by a knife (one?), the impact of knives on Shadyside (very little), when they think a knife might show up, and how this book shouldn't have been called "The Knife," it should've been called "The Hospital: Laurie's Name Should Be Skye--Anatomy Room (The File, Part I: Toby Deane)."

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Christopher Pike's Magic Fire

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai have their minds blown by MAGIC FIRE by Christopher Pike, the touching story of a pyromaniac who falls in love with a girl except just kidding it's The Matrix... OR IS IT? (It isn't.) ((But maybe???)) They talk whitewater rafting on twists, defying the back of the book blurb, dreaminess, philosophy, being a'scared of drugs, Scandinavian aliens, and choosing the Matrix.

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's The Locker

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE LOCKER by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the touching story of a psychic girl and her smelly locker. They talk hot boys who scare you, DOBKIN, knowing someone before you go to a second location (or not), the number one rule of touching Kelly's face, being able to smell ghost fear, main girl mess syndrome, and the stress of group hangout dates.

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R.L. Stine's Goodnight Kiss

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET SUPER CHILLER: GOODNIGHT KISS by R.L. Stine, the touching story of 12 different people at a beach town, some of whom may or may not be swirling vampire bats. They discuss shifting POVs, do-si-dos partner swapping, vampire bats at the WB Store, vampire bat consent, and teddy bear photo developing heroes.

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Carol Ellis's The Stalker

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE STALKER by Carol Ellis, the story of a promising young dancer with too many stalkers. They discuss the casting and rehearsal protocols of a regional theatrical touring company, ask where tf the actors are, question whether Liz is a hero or villain, try not to victim blame while questioning Janna's questionable choices, and discuss the likelihood of someone being able to lasso an ankle with a chain.

This episode was recorded before the tragic shootings at massage parlors in Atlanta, GA, so you won't hear us discuss it, but please consider donating to and/or volunteering with an organization supporting Asian communities. You can find many great organizations in this NY Mag article. https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-to-help-asian-communities-2021.html. Particularly good organizations to look at right now are https://www.advancingjustice-atlanta.org, https://www.napawf.org, https://www.redcanarysong.net, and https://stopaapihate.org. #StopAsianHate #StopAAPIHate

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Caroline B. Cooney's Twins

Wed, 10 Mar 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read TWINS by Caroline B. Cooney, the story of a dud of a twin who inherits her evil twin's life and tear-eating boyfriend. They discuss savage insults, the best in tear fashion, driving away as violence, and Kelly shares a story from an outing at the Huntington Library and Gardens.

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A. Bates's Party Line

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read PARTY LINE by A. Bates, the touching story of a boy who gains his confidence with girls by eavesdropping on their conversations on a paid phone line and then tries to solve some kidnappings. They discuss the former popularity of teen hotlines, their hot and cold relationship with the book, how you probably shouldn't take a self-defense class from a dude who teaches you to fight dirty, and how extending empathy to kidnappers should have its limits.

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Diana Wynne Jones's Howl's Moving Castle

Wed, 24 Feb 2021 08:00:00 GMT

It's the final book of FANTASY FEBRUARY! This week Kelly and Katai read Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. They talk hideous book covers, sister switching, empathizing with all characters at once, sassy ol' biddies, not seeing the twist coming, and stanning a cad.

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William Goldman's The Princess Bride

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 08:00:00 GMT

It's the third week of Fantasy February and Kelly and Katai are discussing William Goldman's The Princess Bride, a novel of swashbuckling adventure and intrusive narration! They discuss the pitfalls of trying to comment on a terrible character as the author when the terrible character is the author, the etiquette of quoting movies and TV shows, reading a book that's like talking to an improviser who won't stop doing bits with you, and Kelly puts forth a bold theory about Michael Scott's affect on American politics.

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Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn

Wed, 10 Feb 2021 08:00:00 GMT

FANTASY FEBRUARY continues as Kelly and Katai read the classic 'The Last Unicorn' by Peter S. Beagle. They talk rich character description, commentary on story from within a story, Prince's Lir's legendary simping for Amalthea, Disney's scary time, the saddest spider in the world, and REGRET.

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Michael Ende's The Neverending Story

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 08:00:00 GMT

Welcome to FANTASY FEBRUARY! Kelly and Katai kick off the month with Michael Ende's classic 'The Neverending Story!' and are blown away by how much they loved it. They talk Fantastica vs. Fantasia, trash the Part II movie (R.I.P. Jonathan Brandis), give props to the book for being 10 steps ahead at all times, melt down at multiple passages, and award Yikka MVP of the book.

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Linda Cargill's The Surfer

Wed, 27 Jan 2021 08:00:00 GMT

SURF'S UP. YOU'RE DEAD.

This week Kelly and Katai read 'The Surfer' by Linda Cargill. Twists, turns, lore! This book has it all. They discuss sea witches, surprise incest, fairy tale writing vs. horror writing, queer coding, whether Kelly should write a screenplay out of spite, mean parents, and once again recommend ending the bloodline.

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R.L. Stine's College Weekend

Wed, 20 Jan 2021 08:00:00 GMT

SHE'S JUST DYING TO VISIT HER BOYFRIEND.

This week Kelly and Katai read 'College Weekend' by R.L. Stine and are delighted to find they're in high camp R.L. Stine's 'Blind Date' moose head territory. They discuss perfect book lengths (short), Rob Roberts, tending another's garden, detour into Wonder Woman 1984's... interesting choices, give props to Tina's quick thinking, and marvel over the lack of fakeouts.

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V.C. Andrews's If There Be Thorns

Wed, 13 Jan 2021 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai once again submit themselves to the trauma of the Dollangangers, America's favorite incest family, with V.C. Andrews's IF THERE BE THORNS. They discuss revenge babies, how Jory is the most emotionally intelligent person who's ever lived, the physics of human slithering, whiny incest sibs, and just briefly leave listeners with the general message that you shouldn't do terrorism.

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Silvia Moreno-Garcia's Mexican Gothic (w/ Emily Faye)

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are joined by comedian and podcaster Emily Faye (Mall Talk) to cover MEXICAN GOTHIC by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. They discuss sexy guys, white supremacy, spores spores spores, very creepy neighbors, a strong female character that doesn't have to be a Strong Female Character, Sarsgards vs. Skarsgaard, justice for Catalina, and very, very good writing.

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R.L. Stine's The New Year's Party

Wed, 30 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Almost.) Kelly and Katai take their lives into their hands once again by returning to Fear Street with R.L. Stine's THE NEW YEAR'S PARTY. They talk strong ghost women, Murder Prank City, PJ is Jeremy and Jeremy is PJ, Liz is Beth and Beth is Liz, Ty is Boy and Boy is Ty, justice for Sandi, how being nice to someone pre-murder prank doesn't absolve you of said murder prank, and try to solve the mystery of a very stupid 1965 yearbook joke inscription.

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R.L. Stine's Silent Night 3

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT

Just in time for Christmas, Kelly and Katai return to Reva Dalby, the Queen Bitch of Fear Street, with SILENT NIGHT 3! They talk Reva's many star moments, how Reva is like a bucket of chicken, how Reva starts a sweatshop for Christmas, laugh at tweets from @downbadpatrol for like 40 minutes, and get into some of the most cringeworthy crush memories of their youth.

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L.J. Smith's Night World Book 7: Huntress

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai talk about NIGHT WORLD #7: HUNTRESS by L.J. Smith! They talk bare-ass love triangles, off-page 'American History X' arcs, hating shows like they slept with your husband, and endings that leave you going, "Yeah, okay."

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Kiersten White's The Camelot Betrayal

Thu, 10 Dec 2020 05:12:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai return to Kiersten White's 'Camelot Rising' trilogy with the just released second book 'THE CAMELOT BETRAYAL!' They discuss the all-important #TeamArthur vs #TeamMordred vs #TeamLancelot debate, what they would say to their good friend Jenny if they were in the book, the current #1 Most Disgusting Video on the Internet, and the book's EXPLOSIVE final line that dares to break the fourth wall.

(#1 Most Disgusting Video on the Internet here: https://youtu.be/lC4NE0vU5Pg?t=494)

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D.E. Athkins's The Bride

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BRIDE by D.E. Athkins. They discuss having to unlearn their fakeout trauma, Slytherin supermodels, dead doves, and the ultimate murder prank.

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Carmen Adams's The Claw

Wed, 25 Nov 2020 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE CLAW by Carmen Adams (a.k.a. acclaimed novelist Carol Anshaw... we see you, Carol). They discuss covering up embezzlement with hand rakes, jogging during a panther crisis, runaway teen B-plots, '90s party duds, and cults cults cults.

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Christopher Pike's Execution of Innocence

Wed, 18 Nov 2020 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai get back to Christopher Pike with EXECUTION OF INNOCENCE. They talk grade-A pulp writing, lesbian characters then and now, an LOL ending, and the greatest character in all of literature: LINDA HOPPE.

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Lael Littke's The Watcher (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai discuss THE WATCHER by Lael Littke with our beloved No Commentary Correspondent Omar Najam (Thank You For Questing, El Rey Nation)! They talk post-election stress, blue afghans, stalkers are heroes propaganda, ghost uncle boyfriends, Predator detergent gravestones, blood-red roses, and struggle over which pronoun is appropriate in a whodunnit.

And congrats to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris on their win! And congrats to Donald Trump on his attempted coup! Will our government survive or will it fall? Unclear!

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A. Bates's Krazy 4 U

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 08:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read KRAZY 4 U by A. Bates. They talk premonitions, the unacceptable lack of sexy stepbrother shenanigans, '90s health foods, sleeping in separate bathrooms, a character suddenly coming out as psychic, and becoming best friends with your stalker.

It's important to note that this was recorded two weeks before the election.

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Sinclair Smith's The Waitress (w/ Scott Frazier)

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Firstly, VOTE VOTE VOTE. Okay, now to the show.

This week Kelly and Katai read THE WAITRESS by Sinclair Smith, joined by very special guest Scott Frazier (LA Podcast). They talk more fun murder pranks, boyfriend gaslighting (both of and by), urban legends, Blockbuster Video (RIP), red herrings that weren’t and should have been, divorce by text, and talk about the lead-up to a very special announcement from their frenemy The Moon.

PROGRESSIVE VOTER GUIDES!

These guides are specific to Los Angeles and California, so please do your research to find quality voter guides in your area! And vote Biden-Harris and NO on CA Prop 22.

LA Podcast Voter Guide: https://thelapod.com/posts/la-podcast-voter-guide-2020-general-election/

Knock LA Voter Guide: https://knock-la.com/los-angeles-progressive-voter-guide-november-general-election-2020-fe6e286b3feb

LA Taco CA Propositions Breakdown: https://www.lataco.com/voter-guide-la-2020/

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Francesca Jeffries's Sweet Sixteen

Wed, 21 Oct 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read SWEET SIXTEEN by Francesca Jeffries. They talk birthdays (duh), May-December chat rooms, quality communication skills in teenage relationships, how only GIANT LOSERS watch daytime talk shows, their own dorky teen years, and how the worst thing you can be as a teenager is yourself.

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R.L. Stine's Call Waiting

Wed, 14 Oct 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read CALL WAITING by R.L. Stine. They discuss yet more fakeout cliffhangers, picking up extra shifts at the Sizzler, the dangers of making your main character an emotionally abusive girlfriend, and are absolutely furious to discover that prankster R.L. Stine is at it again with the breakfast foods.

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Carol Ellis' The Body

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 07:00:00 GMT

VOTE! Verify that you're registered and make a plan to vote on or before November 3rd 2020. Find voting resources here: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/vote

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BODY by Carol Ellis. They talk Portrait of a Lady style shipping, speaking one language and that language being the prose of Jane Eyre, relating with people's physical disabilities because you're new in town, and daddy dom Victorian hikers.

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Holly Black's The Cruel Prince

Wed, 30 Sep 2020 07:00:00 GMT

VOTE! Verify that you're registered and make a plan to vote on or before November 3rd 2020. Find voting resources here: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/vote

This week Kelly and Katai read THE CRUEL PRINCE by Holly Black, about a human girl navigating her way through a ruthless kingdom of faeries. They discuss the classic hot evil boy boning out for the protagonist trope, nuanced faerie murder dads, being turned against your own culture, fantasy food, and the continuing evolution of their stance on genocide.

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Joe Boyle's Brog the Stoop (w/ Nick Wiger)

Wed, 23 Sep 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by friend of the pod Nick Wiger (Doughboys, How Did This Get Played, Earth to Ned) to discuss BROG THE STOOP by Joe Boyle. They talk impenetrable fantasy vocabulary, super hot mantis elves, their favorite character Planimal, and Wiger helps Kelly and Katai reverse their previous stance on genocide (they are now against it).

Rock 'N Flowers: https://youtu.be/EDtBQjmbdHM

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Tomi Adeyemi's Children of Blood and Bone

Wed, 16 Sep 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read CHILDREN OF BLOOD AND BONE by Tomi Adeyemi. They discuss magic kingdoms, going for the kill shot, who they do and do not ship, getting whiplash from character flip-flops, and give some constructive criticism on how to be an evil despot.

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Carol Matas' and Perry Nodelman's Of Two Minds

Wed, 09 Sep 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read OF TWO MINDS by Carol Matas and Perry Nodelman. They discuss purple people vs yellow people, what kind of sick fucked up mind could imagine puppies in different colors, the morality of sending people into the gray, how very smelly trolls are, and generally agree that this book is for babies.

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Susan Price's Elfgift

Wed, 02 Sep 2020 07:00:00 GMT

It's Fantasy month here at Teen Creeps and Kelly and Katai are kicking it off with Susan Price's ELFGIFT. They talk Anglo-Saxon names, non-formulaic plotting, battle-women, how the 9th century sucked for absolutely everyone, and a face so beautiful it's like you've been slapped, but somehow neglect to talk about what a weird name Elfgift is.

CW: mention of rape. Is this necessary? There's no description of it. I dunno. Kinda losing track of the line between what needs a cw and what doesn't. ELFGIFT!

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Sinclair Smith's The Boy Next Door

Wed, 26 Aug 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai get screamed at by Sinclair Smith's THE BOY NEXT DOOR. They talk attic boys, healthy sodas, ALL CAPS, pranks as a gateway drug, breaking someone's leg to keep them from getting murdered, and too many fake-outs.

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Diane Hoh's The Train

Wed, 19 Aug 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai find themselves along for the ride on another quality anti-bullying entry in the Point Horror label, THE TRAIN by Diane Hoh. They talk train phobias, taking notes and doing actual pre-show research for once, fancy dress high school parties, the classic "I'm in high school drama and can therefore do extremely realistic corpse makeup," and feeling actual empathy and sadness for a boy named Frog.

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Caroline B. Cooney's Night School

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read NIGHT SCHOOL by Caroline B. Cooney. They talk well-drawn characters, books with a capital 'M' Message, spatially confusing action, and selling your soul to disembodied teachers tryna tell everyone who your crush is.

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Barbara Steiner's The Mummy

Wed, 05 Aug 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE MUMMY by Barbara Steiner. They talk staging an intervention for your friend who wants to fuck a mummy, whether or not it's cultural appropriation if you're the literal reincarnation of an Egyptian princess, another busybee villain, and plump bitch coworkers.

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Silent Stalker

Wed, 29 Jul 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read SILENT STALKER by Richie Tankersley Cusick. They discuss people saying things at each other, bad journalism dads, unforgivable jester antics, twins on twins on twins, running running running, and one of the worst WHAT? endings we've had yet. Listen!

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Samantha Lee's Demon

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read DEMON by Samantha Lee. (First off, do not read this book. It is Problematic with a capital P and its culture crimes outweigh its strengths.) They discuss why British authors need an American editor, nebulous Indigenous "magic" as a plot device, authorial fat shaming, why this book should have taken place in the 1950s, and of course, the name MIGUEL COYOTE.

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Helen Oyeyemi's White is for Witching

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read Helen Oyeyemi's WHITE IS FOR WITCHING, a British Gothic ghost story in the vein of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. They talk more boy-girl twin weirdness, poetic language, continually fail to pronounce soucouyant correctly, possessive houses, and talk about kids who call their mother by their first name: why?

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A. Bates's The Dead Game

Wed, 08 Jul 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DEAD GAME by A. Bates. It's the thrilling (not thrilling) story of three friends who decide to make a Kill List (Prank List) to give payback to the fakers (people they don't like) in their school. They discuss unreliable narrators, the difficulty in adapting a mafia-type game to play pranks, whether or not charcoal drawings are enough to convict someone of shoplifting, and give kudos to A. Bates for making an Asian character the Final Girl.

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R.L. Stine's Party Summer

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 07:00:00 GMT

PARTY SUMMER! This week Kelly and Katai read R.L. Stine's Fear Street Super Chiller: PARTY SUMMER! And it's about as much of a party as 2020 is. They talk nonsensical character descriptions, PARTY SUMMER, yet another weird implied incestual relationship, PARTY SUMMER, the depressing lack of Fear lore, and PARTY SUMMER. Listen! Because it's gonna be PARTY SUMMER!

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Teen Creeps Prom 2020: Safer at Home (w/ Patrick Ehlers, Ryan Mogge, Oscar Montoya, and Omar Najam)

Wed, 24 Jun 2020 07:00:00 GMT

It was a night to never forget to remember, Teen Creeps "Safer At Home" Prom 2020! Experience Kelly and Katai's original masterpiece, PROM DANCE, recorded live via Twitch, with Oscar-worthy performances from TC favorites Patrick Ehlers, Ryan Mogge, Oscar Montoya, and Omar Najam. Drawing from our now embarrassingly extensive expertise on the genre, we crafted an original tale of horror and boredom. It's got everything you could want in a teen creeps story: unforgivably problematic red herrings, boy crazy best friends, overachieving high school boys, riche vs. puur, evil formal wear, fakeout dreams, and of course, a total drip of a main character.

Visit Kelly's Twitch channel at twitch.tv/kellynugee if you'd like to check out the video, and follow the channel for regular video game streaming and fun times!

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D.E. Athkins's Sister Dearest

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai read the very strange SISTER DEAREST by D.E. Athkins. It's full of action packed things like implied incest, T-Bird antics, implied incest, papier-mache shoes, implied incest, crazy dreams, implied incest, inconsistent character behavior, implied incest, and also implied incest.

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Christopher Pike's The Hollow Skull

Wed, 10 Jun 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai return to Christopher Pike with THE HOLLOW SKULL and looooooove it. It's got everything: small dead-end town, badass main character, creepy alien stuff, evil teens, existential explorations of what it means to be human, bitter ex-lovers, world-gobbling death gods, nano bugs, and also goo! Oh my goo!

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Diane Hoh's Prom Date (w/ Omar Najam)

Wed, 03 Jun 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Hi, everyone! First of all ... #BLACKLIVESMATTER #DEFUNDTHEPOLICE

To make a donation that will split evenly among 60+ community bail funds, mutual aid funds, and racial justice organizers, go here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd

And we'd like to highlight the fund for Breonna Taylor's family, as no police officers have yet been held accountable. https://gf.me/u/x6ngqj #JusticeForBre

If you're not a black POC and want to learn how to be a better ally, educate yourself. This document bit.ly/junejustice is a great resource, which was set up by Bryanna Wallace and Autumn Gupta, on twitter @autumn_bry.

We hope you're all taking care of yourselves and that you're safe and healthy.

--------

Now ... for our dumb, but fun episode. Kelly and Katai welcomed back No Commentary Correspondent Omar Najam (TBD Bytes, El Rey Nation, #ThankYouForQuesting) to go on a buckwild ride discussing Diane Hoh's PROM DATE! We freak out over the parallels between Prom Date and our original teleplay Prom Dance, dress violence, how not to hit on a girl for the first time/compliment your daughters, movies famous for only being known for their happy endings, Chekhov's ironing board, and the whiplash of red herrings.

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Carrie 1976 and Carrie 2013 (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 27 May 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Happy 200th episode, everyone! For this momentous occasion Kelly and Katai welcome Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (Spanish Aquí Presents, Bless the Harts) to talk about not just one Carrie movie, but two: the seminal 1976 Brian De Palma Carrie adaptation and the not-so-seminal 2013 Kimberly Peirce Carrie remake. They discuss the glorious thought-she-was-in-a-comedy performance of Piper Laurie, confusing remake vs. book decisions, why hot Carrie was maybe not the way to go, and why everyone in the '70s looked like they were 40. Then they assign themselves way too much work for the Patreon Carrie episode by choosing to cover The Rage: Carrie 2, the 2002 TV movie adaptation of Carrie, Carrie the Musical, and Katai promises to speak on behalf of that Riverdale episode where they performed Carrie the Musical.

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: A Night to Remember (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 20 May 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai welcome the expertise of Sweet Valley High Correspondent Ryan Mogge (Welcome Back to Roswell) to discuss Francine Pascal's SWEET VALLEY HIGH: A NIGHT TO REMEMBER a.k.a. motherfucking JUNGLE PROM! Yes, what ends in SWEET VALLEY HIGH #100: THE EVIL TWIN begins here with a rockin' beach party, some VERY cavalier attitudes about rape, twin vs. twin and cow vs. whore, Todd Wilkins as the Michael Jordan of Sweet Valley, and Elizabeth's absolute FAVORITE MEAL. What is that meal, you ask? You'll have to listen to find out.

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Lois Duncan's Debutante Hill (w/ Patrick Ehlers)

Wed, 13 May 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai welcome back LoDunc Correspondent Patrick Ehlers (Transformers, TMNT, Nintendo Cartridge Society) to discuss Lois Duncan's very first novel DEBUTANTE HILL. They talk good old fashioned fun, the Wonder Twins, going full Dodie, Magic: The Gathering, and the differences between being pör and riche.

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L.J. Smith's Night World #6: Soulmate

Wed, 06 May 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read L.J. Smith's Night World Book 6: SOULMATE and talk bumbling therapists, cringeworthy fan service, and how teens are babies and nobody wants them to be vampires.

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R.L. Stine's Blind Date

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 07:00:00 GMT

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Grady Hendrix's The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 07:00:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read Grady Hendrix's THE SOUTHERN BOOK CLUB'S GUIDE TO SLAYING VAMPIRES and they looooooooooved it. It's got everything you could want in a book: evil vampire drifters, earlobe chomping, gag-inducing insect trauma, and some truly infuriating gaslighting.

Content Warning: brief mentions of rape and suicide

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Barbara Steiner's The Phantom

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly & Katai read Barbara Steiner's PHANTOM and discuss the logistics of staging a ghost, woefully inconsistent characters, nostalgia for teen experiences we never had ( mostly for boats?), and ask the very important question "why is that guy SO WET??"

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Carol Ellis's My Secret Admirer

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai discuss Carol Ellis's MY SECRET ADMIRER and break down slow winks, compare and contrast fun surprises at your doorstep (i.e. flowers versus a beheaded rattlesnake), the return of the WINNERS archetype, and manage to recover from losing the first recording of the episode due to a technical difficulty (i.e. not hitting record to begin with).

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Christopher Pike's The Visitor

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly & Katai discuss Christopher Pike's THE VISITOR. They talk about tedious Ouija sessions, messy corpses, alien love, and "In a Jar: Teen Talk," the conversation starter game that is not sweeping the nation.

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Carolyn Keene's The Nancy Drew Files Case 51: A Model Crime

Wed, 25 Mar 2020 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly & Katai talk about The Nancy Drew Case Files Case #51: A MODEL CRIME. They once again marvel at how losing five pounds turns you into a goddess, the cost v. benefit of throwing an entire competition for a promotion, and the cutthroat world of catalogue fashion.

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William Sleator's House of Stairs

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai enjoy William Sleators HOUSE OF STAIRS, a Twilight Zone-y tale about five orphans stuck in a labyrinth with a super bitchy food machine. They talk about fat shaming, cover art that does Lola dirty, and the beauty of platonic relationships!

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Silver Ravenwolf's Witches' Night Out

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 07:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai read Silver Ravenwolf's WITCHES' NIGHT OUT and discuss arson pranks, terrible stepmothers, how hard it is to turn a profit on a restaurant, and enjoy Kelly's interaction with the Bloomberg campaign (RIP, you fucking monster).

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L.J. Smith's Night World Book 5: Chosen

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 08:00:00 GMT

Kelly & Katai return to the LJ Smith's Night World series with CHOSEN and proceed to drool over Quinn and Rashel's hot hot hot chemistry.

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Treasure in Death Valley and Nightmare in Death Valley (w/Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:01:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai welcome Sweet Valley High Correspondent Ryan Mogge back into their loving embrace to cover the duology (yes, that's a term) SWEET VALLEY HIGH: TREASURE IN DEATH VALLEY and SWEET VALLEY HIGH: NIGHTMARE IN DEATH VALLEY! They discuss horny teens, rich kids discussing finance, and Kelly and Ryan challenge Katai on what does and doesn't constitute a treasure curse.

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R.L. Stine's Broken Hearts

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 08:01:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai dissect R.L. Stine's BROKEN HEARTS and get into the finer points of getting horse thrown, the dangers of dating within your social circle, the quality of high school Drama wigs, and the direct correlation between not being able to try out for Brigadoon and becoming a psychopath.

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Dario Argento's Phenomena (w/Justin Michael)

Wed, 12 Feb 2020 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Dario Argento's Phenomena with comedian and writer Justin Michael (Infinity Train). It's got bugs! Glass death! Murder moms! Chimps! Sleepwalking! It's 8 movies in one dreamy mishmash of a tale starring Jennifer Connolly at her least expressionary.

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R.L. Stine's The Snowman

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 08:05:00 GMT

Why listen to Kelly and Katai talk about R.L. Stine's The Snowman, when you can listen to the two main characters have a conversation about it in the bit that will not die?

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V.C. Andrews's Petals in the Wind (Dollanganger Book 2)

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 08:05:00 GMT

CONTENT WARNING, MOTHERFUCKERS! IT'S V.C. ANDREWS TIME! The Dollangangers are back in this sequel to Flowers in the Attic and shit is creepier than ever. Watch Cathy make bad decision after bad decision with not just one man, but four! We've got brothers! Adoptive dads! Ballet partners! Stepfathers! It's a camp buffet of incest, sex, waxing grandmothers, homicidal moms, and house fires. Buckle up, kids. It's V.C.'s world and we're just living (cringing) in it.

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Diane Hoh's The Invitation

Wed, 22 Jan 2020 08:59:00 GMT

R.S.V.P. OR DIE! Kelly and Katai discuss Diane Hoh's The Invitation! It's like "The Most Dangerous Game" meets "Mean Girls" and it's pretty good!

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Caroline B. Cooney's The Stranger

Wed, 15 Jan 2020 14:11:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai read Caroline B. Cooney's THE STRANGER! And oh wow, we were not expecting what we got. There you are, thinking you're gonna read a story about a cute new boy in school who will be a murderer or something. But you're wrong. Instead you're gonna read a story about a cut new boy in school who's actually a living cave because vikings. What a treat!

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Michael August's Scream: New Years Evil

Wed, 08 Jan 2020 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai read New Year's Evil by Michael August, an entry in the little known "Scream" series, which was apparently in need of a better copy editor because hoo boy, typos! They discuss how you can always tell someone's a witch by the way people don't run into them, how two pounds is all that stands between you and the dark forces, and how everyone loves a good thrall. Thank you to listener Sue for sending us a physical copy of this hard-to-find book!

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Patreon Preview: Outside Genre Episode - Ghostly Paws by Leighann Dobbs

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly & Katai are taking a break to be with their families and loved ones for the holidays, but they wanted to share one of their favorite Patreon Outside Genre episodes with you! Happy New Year!

Thanks so much to listener Jen K. for the book suggestion! We got another cozymystery y'all, and it is NOTHING like what we thought it would be! A best friend that is all about hookin up and makin magic teas! A crime journalist who does NOT know how to solve crimes! The Cats of Ga'Hoole!

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R.L. Stine's Silent Night 2

Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:05:00 GMT

It's the return of Shadyside's most spoiled resident, Reva Dalby! Kelly and Katai discuss her appalling lack of growth, inept kidnappers, but most importantly, they rank their favoritecrudits.*

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R.L. Stine's The Best Friend (w/ Daniel Montgomery and Matthew Scott Montgomery)

Wed, 18 Dec 2019 09:13:00 GMT

RL Stine experts Daniel and Matthew Scott Montgomery (Goosebumps: Welcome to Deadcast) join Kelly and Katai to discuss The Best Friend, a touching tale of a gaslighting so outrageous that Angela Lansbury herself would say, "That's too much." They also talk stunning covers, iconic RL outfits, and try to figure out what they're going to be for Christmas.*

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Joan Lowery Nixon's The Other Side of Dark

Wed, 11 Dec 2019 08:59:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai dig into Joan Lowery Nixon's "The Other Side of Dark" to talk about tragic murder and dangerous drug dealers, but mostly to talk about how fucked up it would be to go into a coma at 13 and wake up as the world's hottest 17-year-old.*

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R.L. Stine's The Cataluna Chronicles (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:18:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai welcome regular podcast correspondent Ryan Mogge, not to talk about Sweet Valley High, but to talk about the super freaky RL Stine Fear Street trilogy "The Cataluna Chronicles!" They discuss witch trials (real ones), some of the most gruesome deaths in the whole genre, how William Parker should STFU already, and who went to the most progressive elementary school.*

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Kiersten White's The Guinevere Deception

Wed, 27 Nov 2019 08:56:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai discuss another gem from Kiersten White, "The Guinevere Deception," the first installment of the Camelot Rising trilogy. They talked their different shipping styles, knot magic, theorize about who Guinevere really is, and try to parse through five hundred years worth of King Arthur lore through inconclusive googling.*

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Ann M. Martin's Baby-Sitters Club Mystery #2: Beware, Dawn! (w/ Alice Wetterlund)

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are joined by Baby-Sitters Club Correspondent Alice Wetterlund to discuss 'Baby-Sitters Club Mystery #2: Beware, Dawn!' And then by accident also talk about 'Baby-Sitters Club Super Mystery #2: Baby-Sitters, Beware' because the titles are way too fucking similar and Katai got confused when telling Kelly which book to read! It's fine though. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Two for one right? What a deal! They also discussed constant recaps, children's rap, and the passion the babysitters have when it comes to juvenile mental health.

Content Warning: Incest.

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Jane McFann's Hide and Seek

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 10:09:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai discuss Jane McFann’s Hide and Seek, expecting a standard high school stalker story and instead getting a sad story about the inherited trauma of Vietnam! Cool! They also give a remedial lesson for 9th grade boys on how not to be dicks.*

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UNLOCKED EPISODE! The Schoolmaster's Progress by Caroline MS Kirkland

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 08:05:00 GMT

This week, Kelly and Katai give you a special peek behind the paywall with The Schoolmaster's Progress by Caroline MS Kirkland. Prim mouths! Spelling fights! Unlucky pickles! Public Domain Theater's got it all. Listen and enjoy!

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Scream (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Fan favorite Oscar Montoya joins Kelly and Katai to watch horror classic Scream, and to discuss the ins and outs of loud reporter suits, extras that do extra, and all the movie trivia.

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Fear

Wed, 23 Oct 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai dive into 1996 horror classic Fear, and discuss lippy kissing, terrible renderings, and stepmoms that are all over the map.*

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Casper the Movie (w/ Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci)

Wed, 16 Oct 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are joined by Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci (The Big Ones) to watch Casper the Movie and to discuss baby ghosts, sexual awakenings, cardigan Bill Pullman, and MFK the Uncle Ghosts.*

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Christopher Pike's The Lost Mind

Wed, 09 Oct 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai return to Christopher Pike this week and crack open "The Lost Mind," all while diving into three part souls, amnesia recovery, and gettin high bro.*

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R.L. Stine's The Babysitter 2

Wed, 02 Oct 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai allow another R.L. Stine into the studio this week as they read "The Babysitter 2," and discuss women taking responsibility for men, scary kids, and jealous receptionists. Content Warning: sexual assault.

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Dhonielle Clayton's Everlasting Rose

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 07:05:00 GMT

The Creeps dust off their copies of "Everlasting Rose" by Dhonielle Clayton and discuss teacup pets, spider ladies, and hottie bodyguards.

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R.L. Stine's Dead End (Fear Street #29)

Wed, 18 Sep 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai, against their better judgment, return to Fear Street to read R.L. Stine's "Dead End," and to talk about teens accidentally not killing someone, secret evil boyfriends, and yes, How to Kiss a Girl's Neck.

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Joanne Fluke's Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder

Wed, 11 Sep 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai bring you a special treat: a taste of a Patreon Outside Genre episode, usually only available to $8+ patrons! The book? "Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder" by Joanne Fluke. The conversation? Very scary dentists, cookie bribery, MOISHE, and more!

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Ruth Baron's Defriended

Wed, 04 Sep 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai crack open Ruth Baron's "Defriended," and discuss Facebook in 2012, internet ghosts, Pitchfork indie boys, jocks with a heart of gold, and The Mountain Goats!

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Lifetime Casteel Event: Web of Dreams

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai continue the Lifetime VC Andrews Casteel Movie series with Web of Dreams!"

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L.J. Smith's Dark Angel (Night World #4)

Wed, 28 Aug 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai dive back into L.J. Smith's Night World series with "Dark Angel," and discuss country music, hottest LJ Smith elfboys, TSwift, and sexy cousin guardian angels!

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Lifetime Casteel Event: Gates of Paradise

Thu, 22 Aug 2019 18:16:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai continue the Lifetime VC Andrews Casteel Movie series with Gates of Paradise!"

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Nalo Hopkinson's The Chaos

Wed, 21 Aug 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai sit down to read Nalo Hopkinson's "The Chaos" and discuss identity, rolling calves, bird witches, haters, and poetry.

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Lifetime Casteel Event: Fallen Hearts

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 09:06:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai continue the Lifetime VC Andrews Casteel Movie series with Fallen Hearts and discuss tiny grandpa's directing debut, surprise dioramas, and a celebration of CGI lions!

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R.L. Stine's Bad Dreams (w/ Greg Smith)

Wed, 14 Aug 2019 07:05:00 GMT

DON'T GO TO SLEEP! Kelly and Katai are joined by Greg Smith (Dopetown 3000 podcast) to read R.L. Stine's Bad Dreams and talk non-fatal stabbings, useless ghosts, terrible childhood summers, Catalina Family Hunger Strike, and the Great Katai Hot Dog Incident. Plus someone makes the qunt scale!

*Read "What If It's Us" by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

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Lifetime Casteel Event: Dark Angel

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 04:14:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai continue the Lifetime VC Andrews Casteel Movie series with Dark Angel to discuss tiny grandpas, higher budgets, and an UNACCEPTABLE lack of lions.

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Vicki Berger Irwin's Who Kidnapped Jesus (w/ Paige Weldon and Emily Faye)

Wed, 07 Aug 2019 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are joined by fellow podcasters Paige Weldon and Emily Faye (Mall Talk) to read Vicki Berger Irwin's "Who Kidnapped Jesus" and chat Getting a Hotter Dad, Putting the Christ back in Christmas, Shoplifting Friends, Budding Playwrights... and perform an actual Christian Play!

CHECK OUT MALL TALK:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mall-talk-with-paige-weldon-and-emily-faye/id1430015764

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Lifetime Casteel Event: Heaven

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 13:55:00 GMT

Kelly and Lindsay kick off their fan appreciation Lifetime Casteel movie marathon with "Heaven!"

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Joan Lowery Nixon's The Dark and Deadly Pool

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 07:05:00 GMT

AAAH! THAT POOL'S SO DARK! Kelly and Katai discuss Joan Lowery Nixon's "The Dark and Deadly Pool," and get into the intricacies of the Ham Mafia, JLN's Biggest Mistake, Bagel Boss Jr., and, of course, waterparks!

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Shawn Sarles' The Campfire (w/ Edgar Momplaisir)

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 07:05:00 GMT

BE CAREFUL WHAT STORIES YOU TELL AROUND THE FIRE! Kelly and Katai are joined by Edgar Momplaisir (Culture Kings, The Wokest) to read Shawn Sarles' "The Campfire," and to discuss true surprise endings, podcast ghosts, death by campfire, Mustang Maddie, Caleb's No Good Very Bad Summer, and so much more violent death than you can imagine!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: Double Jeopardy (w/ Ryan Mogge)

Wed, 17 Jul 2019 07:05:00 GMT

HOT PURSUIT! Kelly and Katai sit down with returning specialist Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) to read Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: Double Jeopardy, and to talk hot priests, the best way to impress a guy (it has to do with arson but not in the way that you think!), ultra niche fanfic, and unearthed childhood memories!

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A Summit on YA Fiction with Grady Hendrix (Episode #150)

Wed, 10 Jul 2019 07:15:00 GMT

On the 150th episode of Teen Creeps, Kelly & Katai are joined by author and YA historian Grady Hendrix (Paperbacks from Hell, My Best Friend's Exorcism) to break down the history of YA pulp fiction in an all-out genre summit! Listen in for some highly informed analysis of a genre often dismissed as "juvenile," the truth about how R.L. Stine dresses his son Matt, all the reasons why libertarians should write teen fiction, and how easy it is to drink LSD from a cup at a teen party. Also, more. Like, a lot more. Including an #ALLCAPSVERA redux. This one's a can't-miss.

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Peter Lerangis' The Yearbook

Wed, 03 Jul 2019 07:05:00 GMT

MOST LIKELY... TO DIE! Kelly and Katai crack open Peter Lerangis' "The Yearbook" and broach ugly class rings, Greek snakes, that thing where the female love interest is more proficient than the male main character, jiggling coeds (gross!), and, you guessed it and you demanded it, calcium!

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Lurlene McDaniel's Don't Die, My Love

Wed, 26 Jun 2019 07:05:00 GMT

CAN LOVE SURVIVE, NOW AND FOREVER? Kelly and Katai sit down with Lurlene McDaniel's "Don't Die, My Love," to break down post-mortem tulips, TOO SOON stadium memorials, Your Own Marilyn Monroe, and recovering at your own pace.*

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Kiersten White's The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein (w/ Hector Navarro)

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 18:05:00 GMT

MAKE THEM LOVE YOU. Kelly and Katai are joined by internet host and pop culture expert Hector Navarro (El Rey Nation) to touch a book: Kiersten White's "The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein." They also dive deep into compassionate monsters, look forward to when Frankenstein canonically meets Blade, blow each other's minds with some incredible literary genealogy, and recommend a sketch group based on a Werner Herzog movie.

Also, more. Like, a lot more.*

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Jawbreaker w/ Oscar Montoya

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 07:05:00 GMT

LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT, LADIES! Kelly and Katai are joined by film correspondent Oscar Montoya (This Is What Democracy Pods Like) to learn it, live it, and really, seriously love it - film classic Jawbreaker, that is! Rose McGowan! Personality tests! Kidnappings with benevolent intent! Strong choices (possibly... too strong?)! Listen or miss it!!!*

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Fatal Secrets

Wed, 05 Jun 2019 07:05:00 GMT

THE KILLER IS ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY! Kelly and Katai return to creep standby Richie Tankersley Cusick's "Fatal Secrets," and make their way through some highly complex love pentagrams, guys who DEFINITELY wouldn't say that, especially not Charles, and prioritizing laundry day over your town-wide drug ring!*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nicholas Pine's Sixteen Candles

Wed, 29 May 2019 07:05:00 GMT

YOUR SWEET SIXTEEN... AND YOU'RE MINE! Kelly and Katai somehow slog through the book no one was clamoring for, Nicholas Pine's "Sixteen Candles," and against all odds, discuss how absolutely not exciting it is to turn sixteen, the importance of looks above all else, and what the Goldilocks of body types is. Also, more. Lots, lots more.*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Caroline B. Cooney's The Fog (w/ Jamie Loftus)

Wed, 22 May 2019 07:05:00 GMT

EVIL, EVIL EVERYWHERE! Kelly and Katai are joined by comedian, writer, and frankly, expert Jamie Loftus (The Bechdel Cast) to read Caroline B. Cooney's extremely soggy "The Fog," and to look at old haggard plastic bags full of peaches (old women), open up a mouth full of corn cob teeth, pledge their allegiance to the will of the sea, and SO... MUCH... MORE!!!*

CHECK OUT THE BECHDEL CAST:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bechdel-cast/id1180733925

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Bebe Faas Rice's Class Trip

Wed, 15 May 2019 07:05:00 GMT

THE IN CROWD IS HANGING OUT... WITH A KILLER! Kelly and Katai jam out with their clams out on Bebe Faas Rice's "Class Trip," and discuss how little depression and sobriety matter, the permanently formative year of 2004, and the grim reality of the Robin Hood chastity belt.*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Christopher Pike's Remember Me 3: The Last Story

Wed, 08 May 2019 07:05:00 GMT

THEY WANTED HER KILLED... A SECOND TIME! Kelly and Katai work their absolute hardest to discuss Christopher Pike's "Remember Me 3: The Last Story." What's the deal with this Roger guy? Why didn't they remember Remember Me? Something happened in a hospital? I guess! Let's assume! All this... and so much more!*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's Beach House (w/ Julie Greiner)

Wed, 01 May 2019 07:05:00 GMT

DON'T GO NEAR THE WATER! Kelly and Katai are joined by Julie Greiner (Clickhole) (!!!) to munch and crunch on R.L. Stine's "Beach House," and to discuss why their house is built on a time warp, how scary it is to be scared, the joke of being angry in the ocean (sad), and so, so much more!

Plus, Kelly reveals what all men who talk to women on the street look like!*

CHECK JULIE OUT ONLINE!

https://www.twitch.tv/everythingnowshow

https://www.twitter.com/julieabridged

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

V.C. Andrews' Dark Angel

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 07:05:00 GMT

THE STORY OF THE CASTEEL FAMILY CONTINUES! Kelly and Katai are back with another entrant in V.C. Andrews' Heaven series, "Dark Angel." Tune in for some deeply upsetting grandma dynamics and a pretty good incest ratio!*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lois Duncan's Down a Dark Hall w/ Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 17 Apr 2019 07:05:00 GMT

THE DEAD ARE DYING... TO LIVE AGAIN! Kelly is joined by LoDunc correspondent Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society) to discuss Lois Duncan's "Down A Dark Hall," what concussions feel like, exactly which side of the door the locks are on, and what it takes to get one's LoDunc Boyhood revoked.*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

SUBSCRIBE ON PATREON for ad free and video eps, bonus eps, & more.

Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stephen King's Pet Sematary

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 07:05:00 GMT

THE MOST FRIGHTENING BOOK STEPHEN KING HAS EVER WRITTEN! Kelly and Katai take a trip to the movies to see "Pet Sematary" (but don't worry, they read it too!), and discuss the social cost of tattooed makeup, zombie makeouts, endless head bonks, adorable undead, why female directors kick ass, and so much more!*

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Richie Tankersley Cusick's April Fools w/ Omar Najam

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 07:35:00 GMT

IT'S NO JOKE... IT'S MURDER! Kelly and Katai are NOT joined by Omar Najam (Thank You for Questing) to NOT talk about Richie Tankersley Cusick's "April Fools," and who really gets to be King of Fools (and by whose authority), and how literally disgusting divorce is (especially if your mom has a job), and all the surprises hand strength has to offer.*

CHECK OMAR OUT:

https://www.twitter.com/omarnajam

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/thank-you-for-questing/id1331274085?mt=2

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Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's The Hitchhiker w/ Ben Blacker

Wed, 27 Mar 2019 07:05:00 GMT

DON'T STOP NOW. Kelly and Katai are joined by Ben Blacker (Thrilling Adventure Hour, The Writer's Panel) to discuss R.L. Stine's "The Hitchhiker," the metaphorical importance of wet lips, the terrible things that every girl and woman on earth wants to accomplish, and using every part of the allegory buffalo.

Plus, Ben kills Kelly for her Ford Windstar!

LISTEN TO BEN'S PODCASTS:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-thrilling-adventure-hour-treasury/id408691897?mt=2

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-writers-panel-with-ben-blacker/id455020248?mt=2

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

L.J. Smith's Spellbinder (Night World Book 3)

Wed, 20 Mar 2019 07:05:00 GMT

ONE GOOD WITCH. ONE BAD WITCH. ONE HUMAN WOMAN. Kelly and Katai absolutely gobble up L.J. Smith's Night World Book 3: Spellbinder and discuss their tuxedo priorities, which works of literature are most relevant to hell ghosts, and exactly when the Age of Revolutions began and ended.

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Diane Hoh's Funhouse

Wed, 13 Mar 2019 07:05:00 GMT

YOU CAN DIE LAUGHING! Kelly and Katai dive deep into Diane Hoh's snoozefest "Funhouse," and discuss the tiers of boardwalk quality, teachers who check in on your love life, and which Greek gods we can thank for sexual deviancy.

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: Murder in Paradise w/ Ryan Mogge

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 10:05:00 GMT

THE VACATION... OF THEIR NIGHTMARES! Kelly and Katai are joined by Sweet Valley High correspondent Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) to discuss Francine Pascal's SVH masterpiece, "Murder in Paradise," what it's like to finally be in Enid's wet blanket, whether a lobotomy counts as plastic surgery, and double date swooping etiquette.

LISTEN TO SAME DAY SHIPPING:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/same-day-shipping-real-love-fake-relationships/id1288433971?mt=2

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sinclair Smith's Amnesia w/ Louis Peitzman

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 08:05:00 GMT

WHAT YOU DON'T REMEMBER... CAN KILL YOU! Louis Peitzman (Buzzfeed, NY Times) joins Kelly and Katai to rip into Sinclair Smith's "Misery" ripoff, Amnesia, and to discuss poor hospital management, the audacity of lying about pizza preferences, and all the good reasons why to bring a pet home to your unpredictable boyfriend!

CHECK LOUIS OUT ONLINE!

https://www.twitter.com/louispeitzman

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire 6: Creatures of Forever

Wed, 20 Feb 2019 08:20:00 GMT

NOW HEAVEN SPOKE TO HER... AND HELL! Kelly and Katai return to Christopher Pike's Last Vampire series with "Creatures of Forever," and discuss the kinds of Lycra bodysuits that fit vampires, who the hottest Popes have been, and how badly we need a young fool. Really, really badly.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Carol Ellis' Camp Fear

Wed, 13 Feb 2019 08:05:00 GMT

WHERE YOUR WORST FEARS HIDE Kelly and Katai read Carol Ellis classic tale of shapely coeds, Camp Fear, and dig into an extremely busy villain, the teen dream of having boys fight over you, and how to make fun of peoples last names (even if theyre totally, 100% normal).

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Craft w/ Oscar Montoya

Wed, 06 Feb 2019 08:05:00 GMT

I BIND YOU, NANCY! Kelly and Katai are joined by all-star Oscar Montoya (This Is What Democracy Pods Like) to discuss iconic witch movie The Craft, how hot Skeet Ulrich is (now, not then!!!), whose blood is the most beautiful color, and why adults should have more sleepovers!

CHECK OUT OSCARS PODCAST:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-what-democracy-pods-like/id1441230275?mt=2

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

SUBSCRIBE ON PATREON for ad free and video eps, bonus eps, & more.

Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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A. Bates' Final Exam

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 08:05:00 GMT

IF YOU FAIL, YOULL JUST DIE Kelly and Katai open up A. Bates Final Exam and discuss prioritizing machines over homework, the integrity of prank narcs, and work-school directives!

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Lael Littke’s Prom Dress

Wed, 23 Jan 2019 08:05:00 GMT

A DRESS TO DIE FOR Kelly and Katai get down with Lael Littkes Prom Dress, and discuss disfiguring and debilitating birthmarks, what two thumbs look like standing next to each other in matching outfits, and acceptable evening wear for an academic decathlon ball.

Plus, the ghost of Einstein weighs in on what irony is! Ding dong bibbly fong!

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Caroline B. Cooney's The Cheerleader

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 12:26:00 GMT

SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE POPULAR Kelly and Katai get down with Caroline B. Cooneys The Cheerleader and discuss the book's very few instances of cheerleading, vampiric aversions to loud music and joy, and how to schedule getting popular so it works for YOUR calendar.

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R.L. Stine's Lights Out

Wed, 09 Jan 2019 08:05:00 GMT

IT ALL HAPPENS IN THE DARK! Kelly and Katai settle in around the fire for R.L. Stines Lights Out, and dig into some very, VERY funny joke boxes, what makes the perfect apology (and yes, its gaslighting), and when its maybe time to just start believing the protagonist, Uncle Bill, you idiot.

Plus, with YOUR help, Kelly and Katai start an 8-week volleyball course!

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R.L. Stine's Silent Night

Wed, 02 Jan 2019 08:05:00 GMT

HAPPY HOLIDAYS YOURE DEAD! Kelly and Katai rip into every one of the myriad plots in R.L. Stines Silent Night, and break down who is Robb and who is Foxy and why, horny car chases, and possible additions to the Vera scale (watch your back, Reba!).

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THE BEST OF FOREVER DOG 2018

Wed, 26 Dec 2018 08:17:00 GMT

Thank you for listening to Forever Dog podcasts this year and please enjoy this year-in-review clips show! Listen to find a new favorite podcast to subscribe to in 2019 or just a killer back catalog to binge during your holiday travels. And please follow Forever Dog @ForeverDogTeam on Twitter and Instagram for the latest network news and updates.

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Diane Hoh's Titanic: The Long Night w/ Mark Mitchell

Wed, 19 Dec 2018 08:05:00 GMT

THE UNFORGETTABLE DISASTER! Podcaster Mark Mitchell (Nintendo Cartridge Society) joins Kelly and Katai to break down Diane Hohs Titanic: The Long Night, and to discuss how woke the teens on the Titanic were, what exactly a ropy muscle looks like, and what death is like, of course!

Plus, personal shouts out to every single one of Lindsays crushes from all of time!

CHECK OUT MARKS PODCAST:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/nintendo-cartridge-society/id1163990138?mt=2

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Black Christmas w/ Oscar Montoya

Wed, 12 Dec 2018 08:55:00 GMT

IF THIS MOVIE DOESNT MAKE YOUR SKIN CRAWL, ITS ON TOO TIGHT! Fan favorite Oscar Montoya (This Is What Democracy Pods Like) joins Kelly to discuss slasher classic Black Christmas, plans for next years King of Horror Pageant, John Carpenters horror fandom, and what exactly a rocking horse is doing in a sorority house.

CHECK OUT OSCARS NEW PODCAST:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-what-democracy-pods-like/id1441230275?mt=2

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Lois Duncan's Daughters of Eve w/ Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 08:05:00 GMT

ALL FOR ONE, AND REVENGE FOR ALL… Comedian and podcaster Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly and Katai to discuss Lois Duncan’s “Daughters of Eve,” intergenerational alcoholism in rat families, their yearnings for a sojourn, and the texture of an Entemann’s donut stuffed into a tube sock.

Plus, Russell Crowe drops in to reprise his famously excellent Javert!

CHECK OUT PATRICK’S PODCASTS:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/nintendo-cartridge-society/id1163990138?mt=2

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/same-day-shipping-real-love-fake-relationships/id1288433971?mt=2

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A. Bates's Mother's Helper w/ Dara Katz

Wed, 28 Nov 2018 08:05:00 GMT

ROCK-A-BYE-BYE, BABY Fellow podcaster Dara Katz (Done) joins Kelly and Katai to discuss A. Batess Mothers Helper, prom dress textures, whos kidnapping whom and why, and the politics of being eaten by a whale.

CHECK OUT DARAS PODCAST:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/done-with-dara-katz-and-betsy-kenney/id1376384093?mt=2

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V.C. Andrews' Heaven

Wed, 21 Nov 2018 08:05:00 GMT

THE SCUM OF THE HILLS Kelly and Katai break down V.C. Andrews supremely crazy Heaven, extreme poorness, alternate, worse versions of Dolly Partons life, and where exactly West Virginia is.

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Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire 5: Evil Thirst

Wed, 14 Nov 2018 08:05:00 GMT

SHE HAD THE POWER OF A DEMON! Kelly and Katai return once again to Christopher Pikes The Last Vampire with #5, Evil Thirst, and discuss proof and its relationship to pudding, where prophecies can stick it, and more.

Plus, long, detailed fanfictions about certain figures in American government!

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R.L. Stine's The Wrong Number w/ Steven Ray Morris

Wed, 07 Nov 2018 08:15:00 GMT

IT BEGAN AS A PRANK... AND ENDED IN MURDER! Steven Ray Morris (My Favorite Murder, See Jurassic Right) joins Kelly and Katai to discuss R.L. Stine's (novel? novella? book.) The Wrong Number, and to dig into America's legacy of secret families, the intangible difference between suburbs and small towns, and everyone's responsibility to die in a normal way.

CHECK OUT STEVEN'S PODCASTS:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/my-favorite-murder-karen-kilgariff-georgia-hardstark/id1074507850?mt=2

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/see-jurassic-right/id1239538917?mt=2

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Halloween w/ Oscar Montoya

Wed, 31 Oct 2018 07:35:00 GMT

THE NIGHT HE CAME HOME Fan and host favorite Oscar Montoya sits down with Kelly and Katai to break down John Carpenters classic, Halloween, and to discuss Jamie Lee Curtis mysterious film past, the secret lives of women when men turn their backs, and horrors genre-wide Christian values.

Plus, opinions on a good dip... AND a good chip, and a detailed bidding war for the extremely rare novelization of Halloween 4!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Trick or Treat

Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:26:00 GMT

TRICK OR TREAT, TRICK OR TREAT, CANDY IS DANDY BUT MURDER IS SWEET! Kelly and Katai take on another Richie Tankersley Cusick classic, Trick or Treat, and discuss puddle-water personalities, kissing your boyfriend while thinking about your stepbrother, and how much giggling is appropriate in any given conversation (hint: usually less than you think).

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R.L. Stine's Deep Trouble with Max Silvestri

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 07:05:00 GMT

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE... Max Silvestri (Netflix's The Comedy Lineup) joins Kelly and Katai to discuss R.L. Stine's stepping stone to Stephen King, "Deep Trouble," and to dig into the compulsion to collect every book in a series, how many Goosebumps fakeouts are too many, and interspecies universal sign language.

CHECK OUT MAX IN THE COMEDY LINEUP ON NETFLIX!

https://www.netflix.com/title/80223138

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Teacher's Pet with Jenny Jaffe

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 07:09:00 GMT

LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN! Jenny Jaffe (Neurotica, Big Hero 6 The Series) teams up with Kelly and Katai to dig into a book all three of them have definitely read and comprehended, Richie Tankersley Cusick's Teacher's Pet, and to discuss extracurricular literature summer camp, when it's appropriate for students to read their teachers' erotic fiction, and the familiar concept of going into town to make money.

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L.J. Smith's Daughters of Darkness

Wed, 03 Oct 2018 07:45:00 GMT

THESE GIRLS ARE TO DIE FOR! Kelly and Katai are hyped to talk about L.J. Smith's sexy vampire masterpiece, "Daughters of Darkness."

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #104-106: The London Werewolf Trilogy with Ryan Mogge

Wed, 26 Sep 2018 07:05:00 GMT

Murder most foul! Sweet Valley High correspondent Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) returns to the studio with Kelly and Katai to discuss the SVH London Werewolf trilogy, woefully inaccurate blurbs, willful ignorance of red flags, and the real-life advantages of being a method actor.

Plus, Ryan reveals the shocking true story of her journalist past, and everyone tries their hand at the perfect wolf howl!

CHECK OUT RYAN'S PODCAST, SAME DAY SHIPPING:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/same-day-shipping-real-love-fake-relationships/id1288433971?mt=2

FOLLOW RYAN ONLINE:

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The Lost Boys with Oscar Montoya

Wed, 19 Sep 2018 07:05:00 GMT

MICHAEL!!! Oscar Montoya (Inside The Disney Vault) joins Kelly and Katai to discuss the 1987 film The Lost Boys, talking genre-defying bullies, the pros and cons of turning into vampires, and the soundtrack to end all soundtracks!

CHECK OUT OSCAR'S PODCAST, INSIDE THE DISNEY VAULT!

https://twitter.com/ITDVpodcast

FOLLOW OSCAR ONLINE!

https://www.instagram.com/ozzymo/

https://twitter.com/ozzymo

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Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl's Beautiful Creatures: The Manga with Ben Blacker

Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:05:00 GMT

Some loves are meant to be. Others are cursed. Ben Blacker (Hex Wives, The Writers Panel) joins Kelly and Katai to break down Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl's Beautiful Creatures: The Manga, talking the strengths and weaknesses of manga presentation, magical rules and restrictions, the Confederacy, and so much more!

PREORDER HEX WIVES NOW!

https://www.vertigocomics.com/comics/hex-wives-2018/hex-wives-1

SUBSCRIBE TO BEN'S FOREVER DOG PODCAST, THE WRITERS PANEL!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-writers-panel-with-ben-blacker/id455020248?mt=2

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Laura Powell's Game of Triumphs with Veronica Osorio

Wed, 05 Sep 2018 07:39:00 GMT

Exclusive. Ancient. Dangerous. Veronica Osorio (Sassy Tarot, Treks and the City) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Laura Powell's Game of Triumphs, the Tarot, signs and love languages, and so so much more!

SUBSCRIBE TO SASSY TAROT! EP1 PREMIERES ON TUES OCT 9TH!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/sassy-tarot-with-veronica-osorio/id1434932800

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Sinclair Smith's Dream Date with Marnie Shure

Wed, 29 Aug 2018 07:10:00 GMT

SWEET DREAMS... AND REST IN PEACE! Marnie Shure (The AV Club) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Sinclair Smith's Dream Date, nightmare boyfriends, dweebie protagonists, the sound that motorcycles make, themed birthday parties, and more!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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R.L. Stine's Sunburn

Wed, 22 Aug 2018 08:05:00 GMT

THE PERFECT TAN OR THE PERFECT MURDER??? Kelly and Katai talk R.L. Stine's deeply disappointing Fear Street fake-out-a-thon SUNBURN, featuring ghost boys, shark attacks, and ferris wheel deaths that aren't actual deaths at all but memories of previous deaths. Plus a scientific survey of leeches and Jason Statham's grapefruit sized shoulder muscles. And some unforgettable listener voicemails about YA makeout scenes, awkward Obama inauguration flirting, and roller blading in abandoned hospitals.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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Lois Duncan's Stranger with my Face with Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 10:05:00 GMT

Who (or What) Is Trying to Take Over Laurie's Life? Lois Duncan correspondent Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society) returns to Teen Creeps to dig into the legit scary doppelganger saga "Stranger with My Face" with Kelly & Katai, talking writers in denial, dope houses, astral projection, and more!!!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stephanie Meyer's Twilight

Wed, 08 Aug 2018 07:23:00 GMT

SEXY, SPARKLY VAMPIRES... That's right, the time has come for Kelly and Katai to reckon with the YA phenomenon that is Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. And their reactions may surprise you. Did they love it? Hate it? Both? Listen to find out! Plus they sink their teeth into the really important things... Edward and Bella's impossible outfits. Vampire baseball. Edward's meadow laps. The origin of heavy metal. And they break down one of the most important script edits in film history. Hint: spider monkey!

Plus some instant classic listener voicemails!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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V.C. Andrews's Whitefern

Wed, 01 Aug 2018 10:57:00 GMT

MY SWEET AUDRINA ALL GROWED UP... For their 100th Episode of Teen Creeps, Kelly and Katai dig into the long awaited ghostwritten sequel to V.C. Andrews's classic My Sweet Audrina, WHITEFERN, and Spoiler Alert: IT ISN'T GOOD! But it does make for a fun episode! Kelly and Katai talk stupid little idiots, the ghostwriter's inability to evoke atmosphere, and the 2011 YouTube hit "Smang It" by Yung Humma and Flynt Flossy.

THANK YOU CREEPS FOR SUPPORTING US THROUGH 100 EPISODES! We look forward to hanging out with you and talking YA thrills and chills for another 100 episodes. Keep it creepy! Love, Kelly and Katai

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's Fear Street: You May Now Kill The Bride

Wed, 25 Jul 2018 08:55:00 GMT

TWO SISTERS DIVIDED BY TIME... Kelly and Katai dig into R.L. Stine's BRAND NEW Fear Street installment, YOU MAY NOW KILL THE BRIDE, and find Stine up to his same old tricks-- nonsense, misdirection, family curses, cartwheel deaths, dumb guys, c*nt scale candidates, and so much dang cringey fun that it's almost too much to handle. Almost. Enjoy!!!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

R.L. Stine's 99 Fear Street: House of Evil Books 1-3 (w/Jason Sheridan)

Wed, 18 Jul 2018 07:05:00 GMT

The House was EVIL... and EVIL... and EVIL!!! Kelly and Katai dig into all three installments of R.L. Stine's House of Evil with Jason Sheridan (Podcast: The Ride).

LISTEN TO PODCAST: THE RIDE:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/podcast-the-ride/id1296636702?mt=2

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dia Reeves's Bleeding Violet

Wed, 11 Jul 2018 10:14:00 GMT

Crazy never looked so beautiful... Kelly and Katai return to Dia Reeves's Portero universe to discuss Bleeding Violet, digging into the book's depictions of mental illness, sex positivity, and transphobia, as well as YA fiction's role in representing mental health and social issues.

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Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Franklin W. Dixon's The Hardy Boys Casefiles #73: Bad Rap with Alex Fernie

Wed, 04 Jul 2018 10:12:00 GMT

Cool is the rule when you're ON A CASE... and Danger's IN YOUR FACE! Kelly and Katai are joined by writer and Hardy Boys correspondent Alex Fernie (Childrens Hospital, Bajillion Dollar Properties) to break down the surprisingly boring and mostly embarrassing "Bad Rap" installment of the Hardy Boys Casefiles, which features way less danger than you'd think and way more descriptions of eating and transportation. Plus Marky Mark inspired rappers, bootleg drama, diss tracks, and... ninjas??? That's right. We knew this book would be problematic. We just didn't know how.

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Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire 4: Phantom

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 09:44:00 GMT

The monster... might be an angel! Kelly and Katai dig into the fourth installment of Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire series, Phantom, talking vampire bedside manner, evil babies, and more. Plus middle school memories of Greco-Roman nicknames and the intense fear that your crush might find out that you have a crush on them. The horror! Listen!

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, & FACEBOOK:

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TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST

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Discord

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grady Hendrix's My Best Friend's Exorcism

Wed, 20 Jun 2018 07:05:00 GMT

Is their friendship powerful enough to beat the devil? Is your stomach strong enough to get through the tapeworm milkshake scene? Much like My Best Friend's Exorcism, this week's Teen Creeps might leave you feeling nauseous at times, but it's totally worth the ride. So come along with Kelly and Katai for a trip through this awesome, gross, moving book. And as a bonus, you'll find out what TCBY stands for! Hint: it's NOT Taking Care Of Business Yogurt.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kathryn Reiss's Time Windows

Wed, 13 Jun 2018 11:42:00 GMT

A dollhouse, a ghost... a secret!!! Kelly and Katai enter Kathryn Reiss's TIME WINDOWS, a truly scary book that combines three of their favorite things-- looking into peoples' windows, ghosts, and drama. Not to mention secret compartments, multiple timelines, and prophetic aunts.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leslie Rule's Whispers from the Grave

Wed, 06 Jun 2018 07:13:00 GMT

Let's do the time warp again! Kelly and Katai take a trip through Leslie Rule's time traveling mystery/high school drama fest, WHISPERS FROM THE GRAVE. Plus your faithful hosts discover a mutual love for the unfortunately named Souplantation, where "everything tastes kind of bad but good" (trademark pending). And finally, Kelly levels the ultimate insult against Katai! Will their friendship survive? Listen to find out!

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more:

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Richie Tankersley Cusick's The Mall

Wed, 30 May 2018 07:05:00 GMT

Someone is shopping... for MURDER!!! Kelly and Katai wade through the crowd of creeps, mall phantoms, and bro cops that populate Richie Tankersley Cusick's The Mall, encountering some familiar YA tropes along the way, including friends who don't believe anything the main character says, as well as a main character who leaves out important details when she's talking to her friends. Plus get ready for (possibly) the longest re-enactment in Teen Creeps history involving muffins, honey, and phrases you definitely don't want to hear whispered to you by a stranger on a pay phone.

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game with Keith Kingbay and Jesse Neil

Wed, 23 May 2018 07:05:00 GMT

A famous book, a bad man, and two special guests. Keith Kingbay and Jesse Neil (New Player Has Joined podcast) join Kelly and Katai to talk Orson Scott Card's puzzling, troubling, and at times moving young adult classic Ender's Game, as well as the book's relationship to its author's professed homophobia.

LISTEN TO NEW PLAYER HAS JOINED:

https://starburns.audio/podcasts/new-player-has-joined/

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

Help us out by taking an ads survey!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fran Arrick's Steffie Can't Come Out To Play

Wed, 16 May 2018 07:26:00 GMT

A somber detour leads to some important conversations as Kelly and Katai dig into "the original Lifetime movie," Fran Arrick's Steffie Can't Come Out To Play, the story of a fourteen year old runaway who falls victim to sex trafficking in New York City. Kelly and Katai debate the book's saddest moment, Google "Do pimps really dress like that?" AND discuss sex workers, sex trafficking legislation, Incels, misogyny, and more.

And a big thank you to one of our listeners who works in anti-human trafficking and recommended the following resource:

The National Human Trafficking Hotline

If you need resources to combat, report, seek refuge from, and/or recover from sex trafficking, please check out The National Human Trafficking Hotline, a national anti-trafficking hotline serving victims and survivors of human trafficking and the anti-trafficking community in the United States. The toll-free hotline is available to answer calls from anywhere in the country, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every day of the year in more than 200 languages.

http://humantraffickinghotline.org

1-888-373-7888

HELP@HUMANTRAFFICKINGHOTLINE.ORG

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Ellen Steiber's Zodiac Chiller #4: Twisted Taurus

Wed, 09 May 2018 07:45:00 GMT

SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS-- ALWAYS! Kelly and Katai dig into Ellen Steiber's witchy creepfest Twisted Taurus from the Zodiac Chiller series. Plus listener voicemails about Goosebumps geekouts, orgasms, and emo bangs.

And send us your best "Dean Crepes" inspired art!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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Barbara Steiner's Spring Break

Wed, 02 May 2018 07:08:00 GMT

SUN, SURF... MURDER??? Kelly and Katai dive into SPRING BREAK, Barbara Steiner's Point Horror mashup of cliffside haunted houses, unprepared sexy teenagers, creepy old guys, red herrings, ghost shit, escaped mental patients, bird knowledge, and angsty swimming. In the process, they learn an important lesson... If you floash the oash, you scoash down the coash!

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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Ann M. Martin's Baby-Sitters Club Super Mysteries #1: Baby-Sitters' Haunted House w/ Alice Wetterlund

Wed, 25 Apr 2018 10:12:00 GMT

The BSC will protect the kids! But who will protect the BSC! Kelly and Katai are joined by Baby-Sitters Club aficionado Alice Wetterlund (Treks and the City podcast) to break down a truly shocking entry in the Baby-Sitters Club canon, Super Mysteries #1: Baby-Sitters Haunted House. All your most pressing BSC questions will be answered. Questions like... Why doesn't Stoneybrook have a Planned Parenthood? Who told these kids they have to do EVERYTHING? Why has Claudia been in so many parades? What's an ambulance fundraiser? And all the parents are just having a key party, right?

LISTEN TO TREKS AND THE CITY ON THE FOREVER DOG PODCAST NETWORK:

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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BONUS Patreon Preview | "Creepy Crushes" Minisode & "The Haunting of Hill House" Outside Genre Episode

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 08:19:00 GMT

Hey Teen Creeps listeners! Curious about what's going on behind the Patreon paywall? This week we wanted to give you a free preview of some of our favorite Patreon moments. Please enjoy our "Creepy Crushes" Minisode (3:56) and our Outside Genre Episode on Shirley Jackson's "The Haunting of Hill House" (28:50).

And we hope you'll take a second to consider becoming a Patreon subscriber! Your generosity really helps us to keep Teen Creeps going week after week and in return, we work so hard to get you that sweet, sweet bonus content, merch, and more!

https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps

For just $5/month, you can become a Pulpy Patron! We'll send you a Teen Creeps sticker and you'll get access to weekly minisodes like this Creepy Crushes minisode! Audio AND Video!

Or for just $8/month, you can become a Creeper Patron! You'll get everything the Pulpy Patrons get PLUS access to one additional full length outside genre episode per month! Audio AND Video! AND each month you're automatically entered into a raffle to CHOOSE the Outside Genre book! Whoooaaaahhh!

Thank you. Love you. Bye.

Kelly and Katai

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Dhonielle Clayton's The Belles

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 11:42:00 GMT

Brilliant commentary on racial identity and the commodification of beauty woven into a chilling fantasy narrative plus leeches, arcana, and blood magic thrown in for good measure? Um, that's a YES from us. Kelly and Katai deliver a strong recommendation for Dhonielle Clayton's The Belles and they crown a new Queen of the All Caps C Scale... She is Beyond C, a Supernatural C, a Monster C... If you've read the book, you KNOW who we're talking about. If you haven't, start prepping now.

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TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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R.L. Stine's One Evil Summer

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 10:01:00 GMT

At last! R.L. Stine commits to the supernatural. And he commits HARD. Kelly and Katai embrace the dark phone melting magic of One Evil Summer and talk losing your perm in juvie, WaveRunner brother(s), so much blood, and totally unnecessary slang (mother's helper?!)

Plus the ideal first date and more listener voicemails!!!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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BONUS Public Domain Theater Ep1 "The Egg" w/ River Butcher

Mon, 02 Apr 2018 08:05:00 GMT

Highbrow Readings. Lowbrow Commentary. We proudly present Ep1 of our brand new podcast Public Domain Theater. And if you like what you hear and want more, please subscribe to Public Domain Theater on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app for new episodes every Thursday.

In Episode 1, broken dreams, family drama, and of course eggs abound as Kelly, Katai, and guest River Butcher** provide a dramatic reading of and commentary on Sherwood Anderson's "The Egg." Plus, a heavily editorialized bio of Sherwood Anderson (aka Jobby) and more chicken puns than one podcast deserves.

**Since the time of this recording, River no longer goes by the name Rhea and his pronouns are he/him.

Follow Public Domain Theater on Instagram and Twitter:

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #40: On The Edge with Ryan Mogge

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 10:30:00 GMT

Cocaine parties! Forbidden kisses! German requiems! Kelly and Katai are joined by friend of the show and esteemed Sweet Valley High correspondent Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) to talk cautionary tale, On the Edge.

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Joan Lowery Nixon's Secret, Silent Screams

Wed, 21 Mar 2018 08:48:00 GMT

"Matter of feet, I do!" "It's not much to go oil!" Kelly and Katai fight through some mind boggling Kondle typos to discuss Satanic panics, the semantics of suicide, and Cuatros superlatives in Joan Lowery Nixon's Secret, Silent Screams. Plus mean girls memories and listener voicemails!

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MERCH!

TEEN CREEPS IS AN INDEPENDENT PODCAST.

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L.J. Smith's Night World: Secret Vampire

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:59:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai break down the first installment of L.J. Smith's addictive Night World series, Secret Vampire. Spoiler: LOVED IT! Quick hot take: it's like Twilight, if there was more sex and the protagonist wasn't a Mary Sue. I mean, c'mon... blood drinking orgasms, teary hospital scenes, road trips to Vegas.. WHAT. A. BOOK. Kelly and Katai walk you through all the best moments.

Plus Kelly endorses a pyramid scheme, Katai reveals the amazing forthcoming Cartoon Network project she's been working on, and exciting announcements about Patreon and Public Domain Theater! Andddd a couple unforgettable listener voicemails!

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R.L. Stine's The Dead Girlfriend w/ Oscar Montoya

Wed, 07 Mar 2018 11:12:00 GMT

Waterfall related deaths! Cartoonish electrocutions! James Dean flattops?! We return to Fear Street with Oscar Montoya (Inside the Disney Vault podcast) and stumble through the looniness of R.L. Stine's The Dead Girlfriend, tackling the important questions like... Was the cover art inspired by JonBent Ramsey? And... Is R.L. Stine inhabited by the spirit of a dead white girl? Plus a really incredible tangent on mid-90s John Travolta movies. Specifically 1996 John Travolta movies. Specifically Michael and Phenomenon.

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R.L. Stine's The Dead Lifeguard w/ Ira Madison III

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 08:57:00 GMT

We talk R.L. Stine's The Dead Lifeguard with Ira Madison III (Keep It) and learn a valuable lesson: DO NOT judge a book by its cover! Because in the case of The Dead Lifeguard, the cover says sexy dead lifeguards on a beach but the pages say... lots of internal monologues at a country club in the woods? Seriously, where does this book take place? And is it possible for a book to have a small budget? Just a few of the important questions that WILL be answered on this ep.

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Dia Reeves's Slice of Cherry

Wed, 21 Feb 2018 09:10:00 GMT

Prepare to enter a world full of surreal horrors, such as the theme song to Two and a Half Men. Kelly and Katai brave Dia Reeves's Portero universe and pass through various shades of creeped out, weirded out, and grossed out as they discuss the unforgettable SLICE OF CHERRY (Slice of Jerry? Jerry's Cherries? Cherry Garcia?). Plus a new entry in the ALL CAPS YOU KNOW WHAT category. And essential tangents on Queer Eye and The Great British Bake Off that you need in your life right now.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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R.L. Stine's The Boyfriend

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 14:30:00 GMT

Confusion! Betrayal! Anger! These are just a few of the emotions that Kelly and Katai experience when they find out that the supernatural twist in R.L. Stine's The Boyfriend is not so supernatural after all. Damn you, R.L. Stine!

Also remember Mervyn's? Well, Katai does. And you will too after this episode.

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Graham Masterton's House of Bones w/ Betsy Sodaro and Marcy Jarreau

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 10:09:00 GMT

Stay away from walls! Never jeopardize your day job! Druidic statues need at least 8 hrs of sleep every night! Kelly, Katai, and guests Betsy Sodaro and Marcy Jarreau (A Funny Feeling podcast) learn some valuable advice this week courtesy of Graham Masterton's House of Bones. Plus inside scoops on Masonic rituals and R.L. Stine's NYC pad.

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KELLY WROTE A BOOK! Order THE LATCHKEY TWINS Case No. 46: The Twins Solve a Murder here!

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R.L. Stine's The Prom Queen

Wed, 31 Jan 2018 08:19:00 GMT

How can we focus on prom when there's a murderer on the loose? On the other hand, how can we focus on catching a murderer when prom's coming up? Kelly and Katai dig into the central paradox of the YA Pulp Fiction universe with R.L. Stine's Fear Street classic The Prom Queen. Plus Stine's bad jokes, a field guide to prom queen candidates, and responses to user reviews.

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Christopher Pike's The Starlight Crystal

Wed, 24 Jan 2018 08:19:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai finally arrive at the book that started it all, Christopher Pike's The Starlight Crystal. Would there be a Teen Creeps without The Starlight Crystal? Is it really as good as they remember? And how exactly does male ejaculation work? All of this and more on Teen Creeps' inaugural episode on the Forever Dog Podcast Network.

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Caroline B. Cooney's The Face on the Milk Carton

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk childhood classic The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline B. Cooney! Lusty teens! Cults! Vaginal health!

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Lois Duncan's Who Killed My Daughter? w/ Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 10 Jan 2018 09:50:00 GMT

Resident LODUNC correspondent Patrick Ehlers (Same Day Shipping, Nintendo Cartridge Society) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Lois Duncan's Who Killed My Daughter? They talk psychic crime solving, Duncan's heartbreaking ability to portray loss, and literally cry while recording!

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Patreon Preview: Stephen King's Carrie

Thu, 04 Jan 2018 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are here with a Patreon Preview! Here's an example of one of the things you'll get if you join their new $8/month tier on Patreon! A big creepy thank you to our raffle winner Patrick Scholes for choosing this month's book, Carrie! This book has it all! Religious fanaticism! Child abuse! Revenge telekinesis!

Huge thanks to our Patreon supporters. Your help means a ton to us, more now than ever.

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R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: Beware the Snowman!

Wed, 27 Dec 2017 09:02:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai end the run of Goosebumps Wednesdays with Goosebumps: Beware the Snowman! An abrupt move to the Arctic Circle with Aunt Gertrude! A pretty satisfying snowman-dad switcheroo! A tiny town with below zero temps, very few kids, and worst of all, NO BASKETBALL!

Also, the thrilling conclusion of Siobhan's Grade 9 Saga!

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Patricia Windsor's The Christmas Killer

Sat, 23 Dec 2017 02:26:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Patricia Windsor's The Christmas Killer! Magical twins! Evil Twins! Dancer Twins! This book is AMAZING!

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Caroline B. Cooney's Freeze Tag

Wed, 13 Dec 2017 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Caroline B. Cooney's Freeze Tag! They chat frozen step-dads, sockety eyes, and very sad cartoons!

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R.L. Stine's Cheerleaders 4: The New Evil

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 08:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk R.L. Stine's Cheerleaders 4: The New Evil! AKA Cheerleaders in the Snow! Confusing evil spirits! Salad dressing power rankings! Too many backflips!

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Best of Teen Creeps Clip Show!

Thu, 30 Nov 2017 09:12:00 GMT

It's a clip show, baby! Kelly and Katai lovingly reflect on some of their favorite moments from the podcast.

Clips are from:

Episode 4 Christopher Pikes Chain Letter

Episode 10 Christopher Pikes Remember Me

Episode 21 Christopher Pikes Master Of Murder

Episode 26 R.L. Stines The Babysitter

Episode 28 Sweet Valley High #100: The Evil Twin with Ryan Mogge

Episode 37 Richie Tankersley Cusicks Overdue

Episode 39 LJ Smiths The Forbidden Game Book 2: The Chase

Episode 45 Diane Hohs The Accident

Episode 51 RL Stines Cheerleaders: The Third Evil

Episode 58 V.C. Andrewss My Sweet Audrina

It's been a great ride so far! Thanks for listening, everyone! We love you!

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Lois Duncan's Killing Mr. Griffin w/ Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 08:05:00 GMT

Comedian and Podcaster Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Lois Duncan's Killing Mr. Griffin! They learn a lot of things in this episode: Sometimes grandmas lie! Sometimes mean teachers just want what's best for you! Sometimes you gotta go back to your roots and burn Susan!

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D.E. Athkins's Mirror, Mirror w/ Ego Nwodim

Wed, 15 Nov 2017 08:05:00 GMT

Writer and actor Ego Nwodim joins Kelly and Katai to talk Mirror, Mirror by D.E. Athkins! They talk street-diving, elbow-cupping, and hot-dogging!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #82: Kidnapped by the Cult! w/ Ryan Mogge

Wed, 08 Nov 2017 08:05:00 GMT

Podcaster and resident SVH expert Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping, Hellmouthy) returns for Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #82: Kidnapped by the Cult! This episode has everything! Bowl til you drop! Sexy rewrites! A cult leader with the profile of a Greek god and feathered blonde hair!

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Jay's Journal by Anonymous w/ Nick Wiger

Wed, 01 Nov 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Writer and Podcaster Nick Wiger (Comedy Bang Bang, @Midnight, Doughboys on Feral Audio) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Jay's Journal by Anonymous (AKA Beatrice Sparks)! This book has it all! Boner Boys! Angel dust orgies! Mom's fresh baked bread!

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R.L. Stine's Halloween Night 1 & 2

Tue, 31 Oct 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Happy Halloween, Creeps! As a spooky Halloween treat, Kelly and Katai talk R.L. Stine's Halloween Night 1 and 2! These books have it all! Weird vague costumes! Murder plan fakeouts! Sequels that are exactly the same!

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R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: The Haunted School with Omar Najam

Wed, 25 Oct 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly is joined this week by guest co-host Omar Najam (13 Days 13 Shorts, Twitter: @OmarNajam) to talk R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: The Haunted School! This episode has it all! Fossil-drinking children! Multi-dimensional convergences! LOTS of fan-correction!

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Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire 3: Red Dice with Emma Fyffe

Wed, 18 Oct 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Broadcaster Emma Fyffe (@EmmaFyffe) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire 3: Red Dice! They talk beautiful priests, Stone Cold Sita, and trigger warning: this podcast discusses sexual assault and harassment.

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Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire 2: Black Blood

Wed, 11 Oct 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are back to Pike with The Last Vampire 2: Black Blood! This book has it all! Creepy moms! Agent Vampire! Tickle popsicles!

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V.C. Andrews's My Sweet Audrina

Wed, 04 Oct 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai chat and heal from the trauma that is V.C. Andrews's My Sweet Audrina! Blood clot projectiles! Chameleon hair and haunted eyes! #VERA!

For a hilarious rundown of Vera's star moments (and other VC goodness) check out casteelkidsstolemygroceries.tumblr.com and follow @possiblemermaid on Twitter!

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R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: One Day at Horrorland with Mike Carlson

Wed, 27 Sep 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Writer and actor Mike Carlson (@phatcarlson, Podcast the Ride, coming soon to Feral Audio) joins Kelly and Katai to talk RL Stine's Goosebumps: One Day at Horrorland! Vague ride mechanics! Famous character actor Gale Gordon! Moms that bounce back from car explosions!

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Caroline B. Cooney's The Perfume

Wed, 20 Sep 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Caroline B. Cooney's The Perfume! This book is OFF. THE. WALL. Ancient Egypt! Perfume Possession! Eating your twin!

We want your stories! Call in with your spooky, embarrassing teen, or book-related stories at 747-333-6995 and leave us a message! We just might play yours on the podcast!

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William Sleator's Interstellar Pig w/ Einar Baldvin

Wed, 13 Sep 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Animator and Author Einar Baldvin (The Crawling King) joins Kelly and Katai to talk William Sleator's Interstellar Pig! A book about a summer beach vacay turned almost-space-romp! Sexy aliens, pink piggies, and sun poisoning!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's The Lifeguard

Wed, 06 Sep 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are talking Richie Tankersley Cusick's The Lifeguard! This book has all the tropes! Asshole Twist! Hannibal Lecter Would Totally Eat You! Old-timey Prospectors!

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R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: Calling All Creeps! w/ Steven Ray Morris

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 07:05:00 GMT

The wonderful Steven Ray Morris (My Favorite Murder, The Purrrcast, See Jurassic Right) joins Kelly and Katai to talk RL Stine's Goosebumps: Calling All Creeps! Our hero Ricky Beamer is the Screech of the Goosebumps world! The story may simply be a reframing of the narrative to paint Ricky as the hero! Also, bagged milk!

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R.L. Stine's Secret Admirer

Wed, 23 Aug 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai are talking RL Stine's Secret Admirer! This book has it all! Predator community college guys! Best friends who are slightly overweight and therefore the villain! Dating advice: if he asks you if you like jazz, LEAVE!

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R.L. Stine's Cheerleaders: The Third Evil

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai chat the final-ish chapter of RL Stine's Cheerleaders series: The Third Evil! This book has it all: Catty best friend evil spirits! Doing splits on top of graves! Cutting off someone's braid and making it look like a snake!

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RL Stine's Cheerleaders: The Second Evil

Wed, 09 Aug 2017 07:05:00 GMT

This week it's RL Stine's Cheerleaders: The Second Evil! Is the evil spirit back? Of course it is! Kelly and Katai discuss rakish therapists, blobby cow eyes, and the mystery of the matte black hotel room key!

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R.L. Stine's Cheerleaders: The First Evil

Wed, 02 Aug 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk RL Stine's Cheerleaders: The First Evil! They talk sexy Victorians, dancing in cemeteries, and boiling in showers!

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R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena

Wed, 26 Jul 2017 07:05:00 GMT

It's our very first Goosebumps Wednesday! Kelly and Katai talk Goosebumps: The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena by RL Stine! Everyone's the villain but the monster! Absentee moms escape terrible families! We all learn to leave mythical creatures alone!

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R.L. Stine's Twisted

Wed, 19 Jul 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai chat R.L. Stine's Twisted! Where sorority hazing turns into... MURDER! Sleepy beach towns! Using lipstick as concealer! Three dimensional characters, FOR ONCE!

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Monica Hughes's Invitation to the Game

Wed, 12 Jul 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Monica Hughes's INVITATION TO THE GAME! They talk boring dystopian futures, survivalism, and massage parlor etiquette!

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Diane Hoh's The Accident

Wed, 05 Jul 2017 16:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Diane Hoh's The Accident! They chat gaslighting ghosts, punny pictionary, and boating boys! For those with gentle ears: this episode gets quite blue!

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Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire w/ Drew Droege

Wed, 28 Jun 2017 07:05:00 GMT

It's another Feral crossover event! Comedian, Actor, and Writer Drew Droege (Minor Revelations) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Christopher Pike's THE LAST VAMPIRE! They talk camp vs. cheese, explosion escape plans (not what you think!) and kids with AIDS!

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Lois Duncan's They Never Came Home w/ Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 21 Jun 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) joins Katai and Kelly to talk Lois Duncans THEY NEVER CAME HOME! A character drama about loss, one-eyed monsters, black tar heroin, and insurance (car and health) hacks!

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R.L. Stine's Fear Street #1: The New Girl w/ Jackie Johnson

Wed, 14 Jun 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Jackie Johnson (Natch Beaut) joins Kelly and Katai to talk RL Stine's Fear Street No. 1: THE NEW GIRL! They talk The Sims, being awkward in High School, their diaries, and more!

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Christopher Pike's The Midnight Club

Wed, 07 Jun 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai get back to Pike with THE MIDNIGHT CLUB: a book about terminally ill teens swapping scary stories at... you guessed it! Midnight! This book has it all! Kindly old doctors! Very bad stories! Buddhas! Enlightenment! Past life regression! Loving your friends! Dosing your friends! Smothering your friends!

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L.J. Smith's The Forbidden Game Book 3: The Kill

Wed, 31 May 2017 07:05:00 GMT

This week were closing out LJ Smiths The Forbidden Game trilogy with: THE KILL! We talk kissing techniques, Elf Kings who just wanna be bad, and tiny beautiful apple-headed baby fairies!

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L.J. Smith's The Forbidden Game Book 2: The Chase

Wed, 24 May 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Book 2 of LJ Smiths The Forbidden Game trilogy: THE CHASE! This book has got it all: sexy Pippin music, The Magritte Connection, and terrifying children's games--but not enough cuz luv!

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L.J. Smith's The Forbidden Game Book 1: The Hunter

Wed, 17 May 2017 07:15:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk LJ Smiths THE FORBIDDEN GAME BOOK ONE: THE HUNTER! They chat sexy cat-haired men, sexy cousins, and sexy runes!

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Richie Tankersley Cusick's Overdue

Wed, 10 May 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk one-on-one about Richie Tankersley Cusicks OVERDUE! They talk the tough stuff: Bird Corpse Pranks! Bidet Pranks! Setting Your House on Fire Pranks!

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R.L. Stine's Fear Street Saga w/ Ryan Mogge

Wed, 03 May 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Comedian and Podcaster Ryan Mogge (Hellmouthy) joins Kelly and Katai to talk RL Stines FEAR STREET SAGA! They talk corpse filled scarecrows, corpse filled towns, and corpse filled walls! SIMON! DANIEL! UNCLE! REBECCA!

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R.L. Stine's I Saw You That Night!

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 09:00:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai go solo (duo?) to talk RL Stines I SAW YOU THAT NIGHT! Theres so much (little?) to cover! Banana Boat Attempted Murder! Angsty Roller Skating! Endless Buckets of Too-Crispy-Chicken!

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Lois Duncan's I Know What You Did Last Summer w/ Patrick Ehlers

Wed, 19 Apr 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Comedian/Writer/Podcaster Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping @shippledips) joins Kelly and Katai to creep out over Lois Duncans I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER! They talk webcasts in the afternoon, middle school talent shows, and Barry = Bad / Ray = Okay!

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Go Ask Alice by Anonymous w/ Greg Smith

Wed, 12 Apr 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Comedy writer/performer/musician Greg Smith (@smithlgreg, Quick & Funny Musicals at UCB Sunset) joins Kelly and Katai to talk GO ASK ALICE by Anonymous! There is so much to talk about. Torpedoes on Friday and Speed on Sunday! Parents just DO understand! Drug-DENver!

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Christopher Pike's The Eternal Enemy w/ Lilan Bowden

Wed, 05 Apr 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Actor/Writer/Improviser Lilan Bowden (Disney Channel's Andi Mack) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Christopher Pike's THE ETERNAL ENEMY! Everyone loved this book! They talk alternate timelines, what it means to be human, and eggs!

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Christopher Pike's The Immortal w/ Diana Wright

Wed, 29 Mar 2017 07:05:00 GMT

Writer/Director Diana Wright (#Hashtagging) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Christopher Pike's THE IMMORTAL! They talk globetrotting, deathburgers, and California babes!

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Christopher Pike's The Wicked Heart w/ Katie Plattner

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 17:23:00 GMT

Writer and comedian Katie Plattner (Twitter: @KatieTwoHands) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Christopher Pike’s THE WICKED HEART! They talk cockroach Nazis, Muggsy Bogues, and school dress codes!

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: The Return of the Evil Twin w/ Ryan Mogge

Wed, 15 Mar 2017 07:00:00 GMT

Part 2 of our Sweet Valley Evil Twin Adventure! Comedian and Podcaster Ryan Mogge (Hellmouthy) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Francine Pascals Sweet Valley High: THE RETURN OF THE EVIL TWIN! This book has everything, and even more, and too much: twins on twins on twins, the Deep South, murder, synesthesia, Everyone Hates Egbert, and Which Twin Do You Want To Be?

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Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #100: The Evil Twin with Ryan Mogge

Wed, 08 Mar 2017 17:48:00 GMT

Comedian and Podcaster Ryan Mogge (Hellmouthy) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Francine Pascals SWEET VALLEY HIGH #100: THE EVIL TWIN! This book has everything, and too much, and also not enough! Jungle Prom! Boyfriend stealing! Spiked Punch! Knives! Murder! Mirrors! Tuxedo shirts! Fraud/forgery! Identity Theft! Dirt Bikes!

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Diane Hoh's Nightmare Hall #1: The Silent Scream

Wed, 01 Mar 2017 17:56:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Diane Hoh’s THE SILENT SCREAM, the first of the Nightmare Hall series! They talk dot matrix, worldly teenagers, and death by Barbizon headshot.

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R.L. Stine's The Babysitter

Wed, 15 Feb 2017 18:13:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk RL Stine’s THE BABYSITTER, and they answer the tough questions: Is Jenny a pedophile? Is Mr. Willers actually a rogue cop? Is Mrs. Hagen having an affair with Mrs. Spalding?

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Christopher Pike's Road to Nowhere

Wed, 08 Feb 2017 18:26:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's ROAD TO NOWHERE! Spoiler alert: they loved it! This book is chock full of ripped off fingers, sexy-scary castles, and redemption!

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The Hardy Boys Casefiles No. 1: Dead on Target w/ Alex Fernie

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 18:29:00 GMT

Writer/Director Alex Fernie (Bajillion Dollar Properties on Seeso) joins Kelly and Katai to creep out over The Hardy Boys Casefiles No. 1: Dead on Target! Theres explosions, human pyramids, and fierce karate chops!

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Christopher Pike's Monster

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 18:13:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai creep out over Christopher Pikes MONSTER! This book is 0 to 60 AWESOME! Theres fierce female leads, explosions on explosions, and sexy flesh-eating vampire aliens!

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Christopher Pike's Remember Me 2: The Return

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 18:30:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's REMEMBER ME 2: THE RETURN! There's soul-switching, troll/muse short stories read graveside, and basically the Christopher Pike universe folds in on itself in this crazy crazy book!

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Christopher Pike's Master Of Murder

Thu, 05 Jan 2017 19:17:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike’s MASTER OF MURDER! Who knew that a book club podcast would make you realize you hate a book! They talk famous teen novelists, the murder gene, and Jacuzzi makeouts. Listen to Kelly and Katai lose their minds trying to peel apart the logic of this book!

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Christopher Pike's Chain Letter 2: Ancient Evil

Wed, 14 Dec 2016 17:40:00 GMT

THE RETURN OF KATAI! Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pikes CHAIN LETTER 2: ANCIENT EVIL, which is full of sexy hellbeasts, sleuthy marinade, and sweet cookie ladies! And of course, we end with more embarrassing confessions! Next week: MASTER OF MURDER!

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Christopher Pike's Bury Me Deep w/ Micah Gordon

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 18:50:00 GMT

This week on Teen Creeps, writer and comedian Micah Gordon (Good Mythical Morning, This American Lie, Cousins at The Nerdist School, Your One Mission) joins Kelly as a guest co-host to talk Christopher Pikes BURY ME DEEP! This book is full of very confusing plot twists, air hogs, fry fiends, balcony falls, being boy-crazy, and wait are we just talking about poor Mandy?

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Francine Pascal's Wakefields of Sweet Valley w/ Ryan Mogge

Thu, 17 Nov 2016 22:43:00 GMT

Guest Teen Creeper this week is Ryan Mogge (Hellmouthy, Twitter: @rmogge) talks Francine Pascal’s Wakefields of Sweet Valley (Sweet Valley High)! This book is full of romance, adventure, and much more child death than expected!

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John Christopher's The White Mountains (Tripods Book 1) w/ Jon Danforth-Appell

Thu, 10 Nov 2016 18:55:00 GMT

This week on Teen Creeps: We wish Katai a speedy recovery, and Kelly is joined this week by guest co-host Jon Danforth-Appell (writer on Fullscreen’s Party in the Back, Twitter: @GrouchoMarxist) to talk THE WHITE MOUNTAINS (TRIPODS BOOK 1) by John Christopher! They chat self-actualization, vulnerability, and the true bliss of ignorance! IT IS A VERY FUN EPISODE AND NOT SOMBER AT ALL WE PROMISE! But for real guys this gets real real real.

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V.C. Andrews's Flowers in the Attic w/ Erin Whitehead

Wed, 26 Oct 2016 19:16:00 GMT

This week, Erin Whitehead (Wild Horses, Twitter: @girlwithatail) joins Kelly and Katai to talk V.C. Andrews’s Flowers in the Attic! They chat sexy orphan incest, arsenic, and middle school betrayal!

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Christopher Pike's Die Softly w/ AJ Berna

Wed, 19 Oct 2016 21:53:00 GMT

The hilarious and thoughtful AJ Berna (Twitter: @AJBerna) joins Kelly and Katai to talk Christopher Pike's DIE SOFTLY, and hooo boy was he relieved no one else liked the book! This book has everything: body shaming, reprehensible characters, and lengthy, verbose, purple, long long long boring boring zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz gnite

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Christopher Pike's Whisper of Death w/ Michael Capristo

Wed, 12 Oct 2016 17:38:00 GMT

The very funny and talented Michael Capristo (UCB Maude Team Baseball) joins Kelly and Katai for the very first guest episode! They talk Christopher Pike's WHISPER OF DEATH! There's questionable sexual politics, alternately beautiful and porny prose, and classic teens-have-a-secret hijinks! Next week: a departure from Christopher Pike, with FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC!

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Christopher Pike's Witch

Wed, 05 Oct 2016 19:14:00 GMT

This week, Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's WITCH! This book is CRAZY, y'all! The hero's a monster, everyone is terrible, and there's way too much gun violence for a book about magic! Next week: WHISPER OF DEATH!

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Christopher Pike's See You Later

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 17:47:00 GMT

This week, Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's SEE YOU LATER! There's formaldehyde-soaked hearts, chocolate ice creams, and vandalism of oil rigs! Next week: WITCH!

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Christopher Pike's Fall Into Darkness

Wed, 21 Sep 2016 17:47:00 GMT

This week, Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's FALL INTO DARKNESS! There's book do-overs, throat slitting, and dangerous obsession! Next week: SEE YOU LATER!

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Christopher Pike's Remember Me

Wed, 14 Sep 2016 18:52:00 GMT

In an almost too personal episode (aaaaaaaah ya love em) Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's REMEMBER ME. It's full of seances, super secrets, and facing one's inner demons! Next week: FALL INTO DARKNESS!

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Christopher Pike's Scavenger Hunt

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 18:22:00 GMT

This week, Kelly and Katai recap Christopher Pike's SCAVENGER HUNT! This ep has everything: scary purple houses, reptile people, book cover art, sexy butts in pools, and reading about hot climates during heat waves! Next week: REMEMBER ME

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Christopher Pike's Gimme a Kiss

Wed, 31 Aug 2016 19:47:00 GMT

This week, Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's Gimme a Kiss! Sexual repression, murder, and sexy scuba diving abound! Subscribe and review!

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Christopher Pike's Spellbound

Wed, 24 Aug 2016 17:03:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai talk Christopher Pike's Spellbound! Things are really starting to pick up! Deception, desperation, and the thrill of the supernatural! Next week: Gimme a Kiss!

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Christopher Pike's Final Friends Trilogy

Wed, 17 Aug 2016 19:34:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai talk the Final Friends Trilogy (The Party, The Dance, the Graduation). Three books that should have been one book! Guilt! Lies! Murder? Next week: Spellbound!

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Christopher Pike's Last Act

Wed, 10 Aug 2016 20:48:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai cover Christopher Pikes Last Act! Sometimes, opening night is curtain call for your life! Yeah? That works, right? Yeah!

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Christopher Pike's Chain Letter

Wed, 03 Aug 2016 19:43:00 GMT

This week Kelly and Katai cover Chain Letter! Chain letters are so much more than those emails your aunt forwards you! Subscribe, or you'll be cursed with bad luck in love for seven years!

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Christopher Pike's Tachyon Web

Wed, 27 Jul 2016 02:16:00 GMT

Kelly and Katai go to space, beyond The Tachyon Web! Christopher Pike's third book is all about outer space, candy, and beautiful aliens!

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Christopher Pike's Weekend

Wed, 20 Jul 2016 17:26:00 GMT

Katai and Kelly chat Christopher Pike's Weekend! It's a weekend full of accidental poisonings, cook/slut dichotomies, and blackbird-throwing-shamans. Don't miss it!

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Christopher Pike's Slumber Party

Wed, 13 Jul 2016 07:14:00 GMT

Welcome to the inaugural episode of Teen Creeps! Kelly and Katai take you on a trip down memory lane! But the memories are creepy! Like a memory of a dream where you're at your mom's house, but it's not your mom's house because the walls are more yellow and the tables and chairs are too tall! First up: Christopher Pike's Slumber Party!

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