The Good Sex Project

We're BACK! And need YOU.

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 04:44:07 GMT

The Good Sex Project will be back in 2026, and we're still looking for some people with specific experiences and stories to speak to.

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BONUS: Live Masterclass with Nic Beets and Verity Thom

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 11:00:00 GMT

In association with Ensemble and live from The Village in Auckland, Melody is joined by intimacy and relationship experts Nic Beets and Verity Thom to discuss the vital role of having and re-centering pleasure in our lives.

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BONUS: Update on Chloe from S1

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 02:30:00 GMT

Bonus alert! In this mini episode, Chloe - who shared her list of "f**keries" in season 1 - leaves a voice memo with a surprising update.

Let's stay connected!

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BONUS: The Māori Therapist

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 00:30:00 GMT

In this special bonus episode of TGSP, we introduce you to Jemma Bennett, an extraordinary therapist based in Tauranga who goes by 'The Māori Therapist' on Instagram. Jemma shares her deeply moving life story, alongside her professional insights into the cycles of abuse and the complexities of intimate relationships. This episode is a raw, touching, and enlightening exploration of resilience, healing, and the importance of pleasure, connection, and cultural identity in overcoming trauma.

If you or anyone you know needs support, please reach out to one of the following helplines.

Women’s Refuge 0800 733 843
Safe to Talk Sexual Harm Helpline free call 0800 044 334 anytime.
Shine Free call 0508 744 633 between 9am and 11pm (for men and women)
1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.
Kidsline 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.
What’s Up 0800 942 8787 (for 5 to 18-year-olds). Phone counselling available Monday-Friday, noon-11pm and weekends, 3pm-11pm. Online chat is available 3pm-10pm daily.
Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111

Let's stay connected!

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9: Horny Stories

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Horny stories are having a moment. What is it about them that's got us so thirsty? What makes a good horny storyline good, and a bad one... dismal? And is erotic media just for fun, or does it have the potential to impact our actual sex lives? Melody speaks with "kooky, spooky" romance writer Steff Green, erotic audio maker Ryan Mairs aka Marisyy and Intimacy coordinator Ita O'Brien (Normal People, Sex Education, I May Destroy You) about the power of stories in fueling sexual desire and breaking taboos.

Let's stay connected!

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BONUS: Aging well with Dr Olivia Smart + Nic Beets

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Gynaecologist Dr Olivia Smart and Clinical Psychologist Nic Beets talk about some of the physical, sexual, and mental health effects of ageing, including in depth discussion of peri, post, and menopause, and how to support your partner through these changes. They also touch on changes in the male body, and explain why getting older doesn't have to mean the end of a happy, thriving sex life - if you don't want it to.

Let's stay connected!

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8: Autumn Years

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Sex and ageing, we explore the intersection of sexuality, ageing, and personal transformation. Host Melody Thomas delves into stories from those experiencing newfound freedoms and adventures in their later years. From touching accounts of midlife crises to the joy of rediscovery, this episode sheds light on navigating sexual health, menopause, and ultimately, embracing a fulfilling and vibrant life at any age.

Let's stay connected!

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BONUS: Anke Richter

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 23:43:00 GMT

Journalist and author Anke Richter shares her personal journey through the world of neo-tantra and reveals how easy it can be to become entangled in high-demand groups. Tune into this bonus episode for an eye-opening conversation that spans personal diary, investigative journalism, and critical advice on how to navigate these complex dynamics.

Let's stay connected!

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7: Purity ring

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Is it possible to have sexual joy and spiritual faith? This episode of The Good Sex Project delves into the impact of purity culture. Phil and Lavinia share their journey from conservative Christian upbringings to embracing a different path for their family. We'll also hear from Chrissy and Mark, whose lives are intertwined with profound lessons about love, faith, and sexual freedom.

Let's stay connected!

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6: Three Women

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 03:24:00 GMT

Inspired by Lisa Taddeo’s book, 'Three Women,' this episode follows the intimate journeys of Tracey, Leah, and Naomi through their experiences of love, desire, and identity. Navigating the deep waters of sexuality, societal expectations, and personal transformations across different generations, tune in for candid conversations that challenge norms and offer insights into the complex tapestry of female desire.

Let's stay connected!

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5: Slow your roll (Relationships 102)

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 12:01:00 GMT

What if we took it slow? In this episode we join one woman on her search for profound love and mind-blowing, soul-melding sex, travelling from scepticism to a deep, fulfilling relationship built on respect, patience, and divine slow-sex. You’ll hear about real techniques to slow it down and up the pleasure from Alissa Resnick of OMGYes. If you're curious about taking your intimacy to a lush new level, this episode is a must-listen.

Let's stay connected!

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BONUS: Emily Nagoski on the gender mirage, emotional floor plans and magic tricks

Thu, 25 Jul 2024 12:00:00 GMT

In this extended interview, Melody Thomas talks with renowned sex educator and author Emily Nagoski. They explore the neuroscience behind desire and pleasure, debunk cultural myths, and discuss Emily's latest insights on creating lasting sexual connections. Tune in for actionable wisdom and transformative advice that could elevate your intimate life to new heights.

Let's stay connected!

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4: Like Coming Home (Relationships 101)

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Come with us and explore the myths and truths of maintaining a satisfying sexual connection long-term. From dealing with mismatched libidos to sex after babies, we explore what it takes to sustain meaningful relationships and thriving sexual connections, with real stories from real couples and expert advice from world-renowned author and researcher Emily Nagoski ("Come As You Are" and "Come Together"). Whether you're single, coupled or somewhere in between, join us on this insightful journey to better understanding what makes our hearts and minds tick.

Let's stay connected!

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BONUS: Yumi Stynes + Dr Jane Cherrington

Wed, 17 Jul 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Are you unsure how to address sensitive topics like sex and pornography with your kids? Join host Melody Thomas in this special bonus episode, where experts Yumi Stynes and Dr Jane Cherrington share practical advice, personal anecdotes and crucial insights to help parents navigate these challenging conversations. Learn why it's essential to maintain open communication, the impact of peer pressure and how to empower your children with accurate information and critical thinking skills. This episode offers a must-listen guide for fostering a healthy attitude towards sex and relationships in today's digital age.

Let's stay connected!

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3: Mind The Gap

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 12:01:00 GMT

What happens when sex education falls short? From finger-blasting to pick-up artists, this episode follows three people who took learning into their own hands, including return guest and disability advocate Etta Bollinger's experience with sex workers and a young man's near-miss with incel culture. There's plenty of trial and error, as well as joyful discoveries and pleasure. We're also joined by Yumi Stynes, podcaster (Ladies, We Need to Talk) and co-author (Welcome to Sex) as we discuss the critical need for comprehensive sex education. This episode is a deep dive into what we learn, what we miss, and how to fill in the blanks.

Let's stay connected!

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2: Pleasure Is Political

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 12:01:00 GMT

Would you like some pleasure with your politics? In this episode of The Good Sex Project, we explore how societal structures and cultural narratives impact sexual joy and freedom. We discuss the impact of ableism on sexuality with writer and disability activist Etta Bollinger, and chat to founders of a Māori ecosexuality kink zine (PARU) about reclaiming indigenous sexual joy. Join us in exploring who gets access to lives they desire and the transformative power of pleasure.

Let's stay connected!

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1: It's My Pleasure

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Episode 1 of The Good Sex Project Season 2 embarks on a journey through different decades, unearthing diverse personal experiences that shaped people's relationship to pleasure. Featuring heartfelt conversations, painful confessions, and joyful revelations from the stories of Sophia, Porte, and Mary - no one's journey has been a straight line. Tune in for a thought-provoking episode that underscores the universal yet deeply personal quest for pleasure and satisfaction.

Let's stay connected!

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Season 2 Trailer

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 22:23:00 GMT

Buckle in and get ready for a fresh new season of The Good Sex Project! Hosted by Melody Thomas, this series delves deeper into the heart of what makes sex and relationships thrive. The first two episodes, ‘It’s My Pleasure’ and ‘Pleasure is Political,’ are out July 9!

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8: Happy Endings

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 01:46:00 GMT

Sometimes, relationships are better off ending. We figure out when it’s time to call it quits, how to break up amicably, and how endings make way for new beginnings.

We also consider how aging plays into a person’s sexuality and how it’s never too late to find pleasure.

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7: My Wife Will Like You

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Pop culture and religion have told us that our soulmate - ‘the one’ - is out there. That our life partner should be our best friend, co-parent, confidant, intellectual sparring partner, sexual muse and all the things in between. But what if it works better when there’s more than two in a relationship?

We speak to people who are engaging in ethical non-monogamy, swinging, and long-distance, label-less love.

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BONUS: Live Q&A - Sex, Love & Relationship Masterclass

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 23:55:00 GMT

In this bonus episode, Melody Thomas held a live 'Masterclass' with clinical psychologist and family therapist Nic Beets and together they took questions from our listeners. This episode is packed with expert advice on relationships, why some of them work and why some of them struggle, as well as practical tips and tools.

Have you got something you've been wanting to know? Email thegoodsexproject@stuff.co.nz

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BONUS: Emily Nagoski

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 01:42:00 GMT

Extra listening for the extra interested! In this bonus episode, Melody speaks with renowned American sex educator and researcher Emily Nagoski, who's mission in life is to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies.

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BONUS: Somatic Sexologist Sonia Waters

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 22:01:00 GMT

Extra listening for the extra interested! In this bonus episode, Melody speaks with Wanaka-based somatic sexologist Sonia Waters about topics ranging from desire and libido in long term relationships, to recovering from trauma, to managing jealousy and watching pornography. Sonia is certified with the Somatic Sex Educators Association of Australasia and is doing her Masters degree in psychology with Massey University - her thesis is about embodied self pleasure.

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6: Lovegasms Ever After

Wed, 21 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Long term love can be hard. We speak to couples who’ve got insight into how they make it through the tougher periods of their relationships, including having young children. We also get some guidance from experts including Dan Savage and somatic sexologist Sonia Waters.

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5: Love Bomb

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

We delve into the biochemistry of those first tingly feelings for someone, and how all those raging chemicals can cloud our better judgment and lead to some toxic relationships.

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4: What Are You Into?

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

What does good, healthy & happy casual sex look and feel like in the age of dating apps? We speak to people who’ve negotiated their way into some pretty sexy situations using their open and honest communication skills. We also look at how mainstream porn has infiltrated our sex practices, and at what we can learn from the world of kink and BDSM.

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3: Are You Empowered?

Sat, 03 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

What's the point in sex positivity if the sex we're having is bad? We speak with South Auckland musician Pati AF, who grew up a "holy girl" in the church before kicking off her "hoe phase" - by claiming her own body and sexuality back with explicit Instagram posts and random dating app hook-ups. She was empowered. So why wasn’t she having a great time?

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BONUS: Who The F**k Is Alice?

Mon, 29 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

In this bonus episode, we meet the two Alices who share their later-in-life coming out stories. There's Alice Soper, one of New Zealand’s foremost voices on women’s rugby. She’d always told herself she was super straight - that is, until her OE to London changed everything she thought she knew. And comedian and writer Alice Snedden, funny, irreverent and in denial about her love life - until she wasn’t.

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2: The Glass Closet

Sat, 27 May 2023 12:01:00 GMT

In this episode, we explore how feelings about our own bodies can get in the way of our love lives. We follow three people on their journeys to self-love, self-acceptance and self-worth.

Also feat. expert advice from psycho-sexologist Chantelle Otten

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1: Doin' It For The Yarns

Sat, 27 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

New Zealanders have a lot of sex, but a lot of it is average. We meet three people who’ve had a lot of pretty average sex and not-so-healthy relationships.

Also feat. Australian feminist writer and broadcaster Clementine Ford, and Emily Nagoski, the award-winning author of Come as You Are.

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Trailer: The Good Sex Project

Wed, 24 May 2023 23:11:00 GMT

Welcome to The Good Sex Project. Hosted by Melody Thomas, this is a podcast about good sex, good relationships, and how to have them. Out Now!

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