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Lewes Pictures

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/gallery/2021/nov/05/freedom-debauchery-dissent-lewes-bonfire-celebrations-in-pictures

The Gunpowder Plot | Guy Fawkes Documentary | Reel Truth Science

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1b2w4G

xBU0

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The Big Ben thoughtograph

https://cdm16629.contentdm.oclc.org/digital/collection/Eisenbud/id/305/rec/3

Note: I have been posting video versions of these podcasts to YouTube, but having to film a video alongside the podcast proper slowed me down, so for the time being you have me yapping in your ears with no video to go with it.

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Convict tattoo search:

https://www.digitalpanopticon.org/search?e0.type.t.t=root&e0._all.s.s=&e0.surname.s.s=&e0.given.s.s=

Deserter tattoo:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mark_of_a_deserter.jpg

John Jackson Criminal Records:

https://talis.ent.sirsidynix.net.au/client/en_AU/names/search/detailnonmodal/ent:$002f$002fNAME_INDEXES$002f0$002fNAME_INDEXES:1404974/one

Francis Robinson Cunt My Delight (right page):

https://libraries.tas.gov.au/Digital/CON18-1-26/CON18-1-26P134

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It was weird, let's talk about it.

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the kids near here whizz

with the fizz

of electric bikes,

crossing county lines

delivering grass,

sherbet ,

panda pops,

dropping off packages

                             which adults are too scared to,

delivering things you can’t find in the local shop.

delivering things that help a woman in a damp, Welsh, inner-city estate forget about the sound of the water drumming her warped, mossy roof.

delivering things that teenagers huff, before puffing up their chests to fresh music in rotting parks.

delivering things that pensioners want you hung for using, before oiling arthritic hinges with lukewarm whiskey.

delivering nectar so sweet, a man can ignore the tragedy of the balaclava wrapped, cherub-faced delivery driver facing him,

                             when tragedy drops off a ticket

                                                                          for a trip out of this town.

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we peasants gaze

as greasy hands from distant lands

slap together and shake up our lives.

as foie gras & faux pas

are washed down with Bordeaux grapes

older than the states that guzzle them.

& when the helicopters leave,

ties loosened,

& we breathe

              what are we left with?

empty plates

              and fake tan under our fingernails.

I had to write something about the Trump state visit didn't I?

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I watched hi-vis thugs round up the old

for carrying placards with human dreams

nuns

veterans

teachers

miners

plumbers

dragged them along double yellow lines

and locked them behind Majorica pearl gates.

Ever got a paper cut from a nun

Holding a protest sign?

Carves up your soul

And serves you to her God for judgement.

she’s not scared

of some corporeal cell

held together with taxes

and mortal subservience.

I swear

If Jesus walked these streets today

a British copper would cuff that commie cunt

and read him his rights,

throw him in the back of a van,

go through his laptop

lookin for clues of conspiracies,

of mania

“this bloke thinks he’s the son of god”

they’d say

before having him sectioned.

and when I’m at those gates

at the end of it all

and St Peter says to me

Ever got a paper cut from a nun?

I’ll say.

I’m not a copper.

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looked just like me

staring back

beard

brown eyes

30’s

the family chose a good photo,

it was some sort of birthday

or get together

wishing he was still at that night.

We live near the river

a lot of people

take the

slow

cruise

down,

over the weir,

past the city,

beyond the bay.

They used to float out into the estuary

but they built a barrage

and it stopped all that.

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and you should witness the soups round my house

big fuckin soups

big stickin fuckin soups

filled with carrots

parsnips

and onion.

The thing stinks so much

people pass me in the street

and they can smell me,

I can hear them

saying to themselves

“Man, that motherfucker has got a nasty fuckin soup brewing in his house.”

I drop blocks of cheese in it

and wait for them fuckers to melt,

got a thick cob

to mop up what my spoon can’t scoop,

and I mop up so much

slow cooked

soup

that by Spring

I’ll be packin an extra a stone of soup weight

and I won’t have a single fuckin regret.

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I’ve heard people complain about ‘performative males’

but ain’t performing the best thing about being a male?

I’ve heard a fart from a bloke

amongst a group of men

so beautiful

every man cried like it was Princess Di’s funeral.

Felt the slap of handshakes

from friends

which reverberate

teenage memories

of walking train tracks,

of playing football on summer grass,

of tarmac peeling skin

as we fall

from skateboards

sliding

down suburban hills.

I’ve heard the sigh from a bloke

at his end

who only sighed for my ears,

I sighed back

so

we’re both still here.

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There’s something beautiful

about a midnight piss

you know?

Rocking off of the mattress,

hearing the percussion of my joints do its little drum solo

while I’m GRUNTING on vocals.

The world is so violent early in the morning

the birds start to scream at eachother

the streetlights are exhausted

from long winter shifts

and the curtains have that cool pre-dawn glow.

I make a b-line for the bathroom so gracefully

that I convince myself that I could live life blind, no problem,

before stubbing my toe on the dehumidifier.

The smell of a midnight piss is like nothing else,

the urea has mellowed

                             and barrel aged.

I use the sound of it hitting the bowl

to make sure my aim is true,

better not piss straight in the water

or you’ll wake the whole house up.

I’d turn on the light,

but where’s the thrill in that?

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there are curtains

up

and

down

the country

which sway with paranoia,

through locked

and alarmed

windows,

through doorbells with eyes

in server rooms

in America,

who babble of radio hosts

and day-time TV,

waiting for the murderers

and drug dealers

and thugs

and paedos

and the reincarnation of Jimmy Saville,

waiting for glory,

waiting to be immortalised

on a Netflix documentary

on rolling news

on breakfast shows

to be the day-time chatter

for one Wednesday afternoon.

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