Pairings

014: Men Written By Women

Mon, 25 May 2026 21:14:01 GMT

Turning to Kennedy Ryan’s Reel, Amile & Phoebe discuss romantasy & the male romantic leads who populate these worlds. Alongside the fantasy of emotionally intelligent billionaires and artistically gfted providers, they discuss the blackness of Reel & the importance of specificity and lived experience in storytelling.

Through Neevah’s health battles and Dessi Blue's adventures, they delight in the ways in which the characters are written with texture, vulnerability, and interiority. They ask whether the fantasy of the “perfect man” is really about romance at all or whether it’s simply about being seen.

This episode pairs well with:

Reel by Kennedy Ryan
Score by Kennedy Ryan
The 40 Days of Dating Social Experiment
Men wearing slutty little reading glasses non-ironically
A lychee martini with a single rose petal floating on top

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

013: Love Made Me Do It

Tue, 19 May 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Set between Martha’s Vineyard and New York’s Upper East Side, Strangers by Belle Burden initially feels worlds away. But as Amile & Phoebe unpack its themes of marriage, compromise, and reinvention…familiar pressures emerge.

Alongside the practical realities of divorce and prenups, they interrogate the public response to Belle’s story, and the tendency to dismiss certain experiences. They discuss the pursuit of becoming “wifey” & whether it's ever worth losing yourself for love.

This episode pairs well with:

Strangers by Belle Burden
BEEF, Season 2 (2026, Netflix)
Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing? Chanté Joseph, British Vogue.
Knowing Klay Thompson because of Megan Thee Stallion
Looking in the mirror and saying, “Stand up, girl!”
A glass of Provençal rosé, grown the same year you got married.

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

012: After the Fantasy

Tue, 12 May 2026 18:19:12 GMT

Amile and Phoebe continue their deep dive into Caro Claire Burke’s Yesteryear. Spoilers included this time!

Using the novel as a springboard, they explore the tension between modern femininity and masculinity.

Beginning with the backlash surrounding Emma Grede’s promo tour for Start With Yourself, they consider the pulls (pitfalls!) of girlboss messaging. As the conversation unfolds, they turn to the pressures placed on men to perform a version of “traditional” masculinity that may not come naturally to them, and the consequences of building family life around rigid ideals.

This episode pairs well with:

Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
Educated by Tara Westover
Keep Sweet: Pray & Obey (2026, Netflix)
Watching someone slowly rebrand their entire life online.
Searching for tinctures instead of antibiotics.

Leave us a 5 star rating (and a comment) please!

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

011: Playing House

Mon, 04 May 2026 05:00:00 GMT

For their first foray into fiction this season, Amile and Phoebe turn to Caro Claire Burke’s Yesteryear. Through the character of Natalie, a self-styled tradwife, they explore what it means to perform the role of the “perfect” woman, and why some versions of femininity are so addictive to consume online.

As they unpack her story, they revisit themes from earlier episodes through a refreshed lens...from the second shift to motherhood and of course, the manosphere.

This episode pairs well with:

Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Unchosen (2026 TV series)
Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke (2025, Hulu)
Evil Influencer: The Jodi Hildebrandt Story (2025, Netflix)

Swapping your wholemeal loaf for sourdough.
Praying that your raw milk is free from listeria.

Make sure to read the book!

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

010: How Far Will You Go?

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 05:00:00 GMT

In the second of their Pixel Flesh deep dive, Amile and Phoebe turn to the idea of beauty maintenance. Comparing their TikTok algorithms, they discuss the shift towards more intensive, expensive and invasive forms of upkeep.

They reflect on the ever-growing rejection of ageing and fatness, and the pressures that sustain these insecurities. Moving between viral advice, personal dilemmas, and cultural expectation, they consider what it means to invest in the face and body over time. From skincare and fitness to medications and injectables, how far are we willing to go?

This episode pairs well with:

Warning (poem) by Jenny Joseph
The Year All My Friends Got Botox by E.Clein (The Cut, April 2026)
The Substance (2024), dir. Coralie Fargeat
Getting a blepharoplasty without telling anyone
An iced matcha with added collagen

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

009: What Is Pretty Worth?

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 18:12:41 GMT

In the first of a two-part series inspired by Ellen Atlanta’s Pixel Flesh, Amile and Phoebe explore the evolving landscape of beauty in the digital age. From size zero to “slim-thick”, and video vixens to the Kardashian era, they trace how beauty standards have intensified online.

Reflecting on their different experiences growing up and what they thought of the Olsen Twins. Most apparent is the tension between critique and participation. How does one resist beauty ideals while still engaging in the rituals that sustain them? From filters and fitness to neurotoxins and aesthetic treatments, the list is endless. Join them as they discuss what it means to perform beauty in a world where being seen has never mattered more.

This episode pairs well with:

Pixel Flesh by Ellen Atlanta
"Pretty Hurts" (2013) by Beyonce
"Unpretty" (1999) by TLC
Checking your reflection in the front-facing camera.
Saying “it’s just maintenance” and half-believing it.
A Belvedere vodka soda with three lemons

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

008: Who Gets to Be Innocent?

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 21:25:15 GMT

This episode explores grooming in childhood. Drawing on cultural touchpoints from My Dark Vanessa to Lolita and Cat Person, they examine the archetype of the “inappropriate adult” and the subtle ways in which boundaries are pushed.

Alongside this, they consider the idea of the “imperfect victim”. Who do we protect? And who do we turn a blind eye to? With a focus on British and Western culture, they reflect on how narratives are shaped, mobilised, and oftentimes, weaponised to serve wider agendas.

This episode pairs well with:

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
Half His Age by Jeanette McCurdy
“Cat Person” (2017), The New Yorker
Charlene (The Crime Desk podcast)
Lucky Boy (Tortoise Media podcast)

Pandering to power instead of trusting your gut.
A cup of tea gone cold.

Happy listening!

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

007: Who Gets To Belong?

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 13:45:14 GMT

In the second part of their Chums deep dive, Amile and Phoebe turn to the figures and cultural touchpoints that continue to shape Britain’s class system. From Jacob Rees-Mogg to Princess Diana and The Crown, they reflect on how class remains deeply embedded in British life, and why access to its upper echelons is rarely as fluid as it first appears.

Phoebe shares why Brexit was the worst referendum of all time. Amile explains why she’s never read the Metro. They end by reflecting on the tension between disillusionment and hope & what it might mean to stay engaged in a system that doesn’t always feel built for you.

This episode pairs well with:

Chums by Simon Kuper
The Crown (TV series)
A Gin & Dubbonet served over ice à la the late Queen Elizabeth II
Remembering where you were when Princess Dianna died
Skipping past eh newspaper headlines to get to the crossword

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

006: Who Runs the Country? (Chums Pt I)

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 07:00:00 GMT

In a special two-parter, Amile and Phoebe turn to Simon Kuper’s Chums to explore the networks shaping Britains political elite. They trace the shared paths of those in power, asking why our last 6 prime ministers were Oxford educated. From the college dorm rooms to Downing Street, they reflect on how belonging is signalled, and why entry to these spaces is rarely accidental. Along the way, they discuss the enduring question of who the system is really built for.

This episode pairs well with:

Chums by Simon Kuper
Engines of Privilege by David Kynaston & Francis Green
Saltburn (2023), dir. Emerald Fennell
A cup of Early Grey, with a splash of milk. No sugar.
Pretending not to care which college people attended.
Realising the same surnames keep reappearing.

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

polyamory, queerness and lily allen's divorce album.

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 06:00:00 GMT

it feels like the landscape of relationships have changed in recent years, especially for us millennials. it's a time of contradiction. the girls want independence, but a man that's richer than them. the boys are getting more conservative, yet seeking non monogamous relationships. perhaps everyone is being genuine, but it seems that even the most cis heteronormative amongst us are cherrypicking language from from those whose lives centre around nonconformity and queerness. we talk about lily allen, bronywn (rhoslc) & that time my ex told me he was into polyamory.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

005: What Do Women Want?

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 18:19:47 GMT

The episode begins with a story of being spotted reading Gillian Anderson’s Want in public, opening into a conversation about the ways women construct intimacy when no one is watching.

Between a Nigerian Christian and an Irish Catholic, the conversation around fantasy quickly unfolds. Amile & Phoebe explore confession, contradiction & cultural taboo. They also discuss the complexity of desire & the various tropes (ergo moments of cringe) that shape it.

This episode pairs well with:

Want by Gillian Anderson
Three Women by Lisa Taddeo
The Sex Lives of African Women by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday
A dark negroni, with a single maraschino cherry.
Finally booking that boudoir photoshoot for your birthday.
Using your journal to write down the thoughts you were never meant to say out loud.

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

004: Where Do Lost Boys Go?

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 11:45:42 GMT

In this episode of Pairings, Amile and Phoebe explore the rise of the Manosphere and the appeal of the so-called red pill. They reflect on the promises offered by its figureheads, and the way that insecurity can harden into ideology, and at times extremism. From the pickup artists of the early noughties to the Looksmaxxers and Incels of present day, they trace the shifting language of online masculinity. In doing so, they consider the stories men are being told about themselves, and the world.

This episode pairs well with:

Lost Boys by James Bloodworth
The Will To Change by bell hooks
The Matrix (1999), dir by The Wachowskis
Adolescence (TV series) dir by Philip Barantini
A smoky mezcalita in a Tajín-rimmed whiskey glass
Striking up a conversation with a stranger in real life

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

003: What Makes a Mother?

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode of Pairings, Amile and Phoebe explore the cultural scripts shaping modern motherhood and the word every new mother seems to be whispering: Matrescence.

They reflect on the myths that romanticise motherhood, the physical and emotional realities often left unsaid, and the quiet pressures that continue to define what a “good” mother should be.

Along the way, they consider judgment and the burdens that women are still expected to carry.

This episode pairs well with:

Matrescence by Lucy Jones
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
Motherland, series on BBC & Netflix
A cheeky shot of Irish cream in your hot chocolate.
Switching jobs for the maternity benefits.
Choosing the right godparent for your kid.

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

002: Falling in Love With AI?

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 06:05:00 GMT

In this episode of Pairings, Amile and Phoebe talk through stories that could only come from this modern age: a married woman who falls in love with her chatbot, and an app that helps you pretend to be well read. Moving between intimacy, imagination, and society, they reflect on what technology is reshaping — and what it may quietly be replacing - across childhood and adulthood.

This episode pairs well with:

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Her (2013), dir. Spike Jonze
Black Mirror, created by Charlie Brooker
I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
A cold glass of Vermentino, and Salt & Vinegar crisps.
Re-activating your library membership.
Reading aloud to the kids in your life.

Ten points if you spotted the em dash.

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

001: Is The Second Shift Inevitable?

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 06:00:00 GMT

In their very first episode of Pairings, Amile and Phoebe unpack the stories that shape modern womanhood. From picking up The Second Shift after a full day at work to the performance of beauty and emotional labour, they reflect on how cultural expectations and online life shape women’s inner worlds.

This episode pairs well with:

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
Your Silence Will Not Protect You by Audre Lorde
Barbie (2023), dir. Greta Gerwig
The Second Shift by Arlie Russell Hochschild
A dry gin martini, with a twist.
Speaking openly with your girlfriends about heteronormative relationships
Setting expectations with your boyfriends from the get-go.

Happy listening,

A&P

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

INTRODUCING "Pairings"

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 19:01:29 GMT

Pairings is a conversation series about stories—on the page, on the screen, and in our heads. Moving between literature and pop culture, Amile & Phoebe explore how technology and online cultures are shaping everyday life. Matresence, Inceldom & Desire are just some of the topics they will get you thinking and laughing about.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.