Smersh Pod

I BOUGHT A VAMPIRE MOTORCYCLE with Simon Love

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 23:00:00 GMT

This week in a bit of Boon for the show, we’ll test-driving a new hog - but not just any hog, this ride is possessed by a bit of a speed demon. It eats protocol droids for breakfast, it doesn’t run on gas, and goes 0-60 on pure undiluted blood of former Grange Hill actors.

Yes, it’s I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle.

And joining me to kick start this chat, is the one true Prince of Wales, Simon Love!

Buy Simon's album here

Check out his website here for live dates

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The Umbrella Man and Other Stories: What We Talk About When We Talk About the JFK Assassination with Martin Fitzgerald

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 10:23:13 GMT

In a very special episode I'm joined by Martin Fitzgerald to catch up on JFK again, and talk about his new book "The Umbrella Man and Other Stories: What We Talk About When We Talk About the JFK Assassination", an incredible and fascinating book that you should all buy.

We talk about everything that happened in Dallas on 22nd November 1963 in Dealey Plaza.

"This is not a book about who killed John F. Kennedy or why he was assassinated. This is a book about memory, how we construct our shared history and what happens when your life is defined by a single, fleeting moment. It’s a celebration of human nature, of the joy of research and the freedom of an open mind. Above all, it reveals the stories of a group of real people who thought they had opted out of the main event on the day JFK came to Dallas, only to find themselves at the centre of the most scrutinised six seconds of the twentieth century."

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LUCY with Dr. Dean Burnett

Sun, 29 Mar 2026 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be indulging in the time old cliche of travelling the far east in order to find ourselves, connect with new exciting people, and take so much drugs we turn appear in other people’s televisions into a computer.

Yes, it’s Lucy

And joining me to to use 100% of his brain, is eminent egg-head brain doctor Dr. Dean Burnett.

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SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY with Tom Crowley

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Star Wars special.

This week we’ll be heading to a galaxy, far, far away in order to find out just how a good many things that we’ve never ever thought about came to be!

Yes, it’s SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY

Joining me to play his cards right, is Tom Crowley.

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HAWK THE SLAYER with Dan Tetsell

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be stepping into a world of swords, sorcery, sisters, secrets and the senseless slaughter of seasoned small screen stars.

Yes, it’s Hawk the Slayer.

And joining me to go south on a fat baron, is Dan Tetsell.

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THE BLACK HOLE with Jim Maxwell

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be exploring deep space in order to answer the time honoured questions: Why is it that when you leave a man to his own devices, he’ll was to put something up his hole.

Yes, it’s The Black Hole.

And joining me is someone who can tell us about how the evil robot from this film is feeling, as he’s literally called Jim Maxwell.

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INDEPENDENCE DAY with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be forming a welcoming committee to announce that we, for one, welcome our new alien overlords, and applauding with outrageous gusto as we witness our charismatic heroes carry a virus while sucking on a big fat one while a fat lady sings.

Yes, it’s Independence Day

Joining me to put a rocket up Uranus, is Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas.

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FAST AND FURIOUS with David Hoare

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be jumping back into the driving seat, and putting our foot down firmly in order to drive as fast as we can in the toppest of gears to a GPS location known as REVENGE.

Yes, it’s Fast and Furious.

And joining me to bear left for heroin tunnels is David Hoare

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TERMINATOR: DARK FATE with Dan Thomas and Dr. Dean Burnett

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be going on the run from fate, destiny and the very idea of robots negotiating a complicated loan to purchase a curtain business.

Yes, it’s Terminator: Dark Fate

And joining me to do it for John, are Dan Thomas and Dr. Dean Burnett.

Taken from the Monday Night Movie Club on Smersh Patreon.

Join here: https://www.patreon.com/SmershPod

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BLADE RUNNER with Mitch Benn

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be going back to the distant future of 2019 in order to find out who gives the best skin jobs, and just who has eyes for a Batty boy.

Yes, it’s Blade Runner

And joining me to have nightmares of electric sheep is Mitch Benn.

You can find Mitch's work here: https://www.mitchbenn.com/

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STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Star Trek Special!

This week we’ll be journeying back in time to look for a particularly warped individual, and find out just who has the most skin in the game when it comes to blending in.

Yes, it’s Star Trek: First Contact

Joining me to realise that we’re on some sort of ‘planet safari’, is Paul Litchfield, or as he is known in Borg, Tony Tin-Can.

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SMERSH HITS: HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be jumping back in time to find out just who has the black dog, while bewaring the moon, and trying not to get sucked off by lads in capes.

Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Joining me to catch the Knight Bus, which has sadly become a rail replacement service, are the genuine snake boys: Tom Crowley and Tom Neenan.

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SMERSH HITS: STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be returning to a galaxy far, far away to eat a small bird, commit mutiny, refuse to help the galaxy, and follow a space ship very slowly - yes, it’s The Last Jedi

Joining me to race weird space horses is actor and host of Crowley Time, Tom Crowley.

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TRON (LIVE) with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 00:05:00 GMT

Smersh Pod LIVE from The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival way back in October of 2025.

We’ll be travelling back to the exciting days of 1982 and uploading ourselves into a ‘computer’ to indulge in a spot of cycling, a bit of frisbee, and a whole lot of RAM BAM THANK YOU MAM, while also hoping no one minds if we nip out for a quick MCP.

Yes, it’s TRON

And joining me to whip out his eight inch floppy, is Paul Litchfield.

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NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SMERSH POD: VOL:5

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 00:05:00 GMT

Hello and welcome to a very special festive SMERSHPOD!

This time, ho ho, oh, oh no, it’s another of our extra special compilation episodes – and this time, because it’s the festive period, we’re bringing you the 12 SMERSHES OF CHRISTMAS.

A dozen doozies from the last year or so, we’ve even got gold rings!

Huge thanks to Tim Colman for putting the clips together.

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ARE YOU BEING SERVED? : THE MOVIE with Paul Litchfield

Thu, 25 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH!

Merry ChristSMERSH!

It’s Christmas Day! And what better time to crack open the Quality Street, pour a glass of Baileys, and tune into ITV SMERSH as we book a first LAUGH flight to Costa Plonka and sun ourselves while an in-tents revolution breaks out, climaxing in a great big Union Jack-off!

Yes, it’s ARE YOU BEING SERVED? THE MOVIE!

Joining me to say no Sachs please we’re British, is Paul Litchfield.

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A CHRISTMAS STORY with Kate McCabe

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH!

Welcome to another ChristSMERSH special!

Happy Christmas Eve to you all!

Today we’ll be going back to the past to tell the inspirational tale of a stuck tongue, a rifle, and a simple man who really wants a leg lamp in his window - no it’s not the Ed Gein biopic, it’s A Christmas Story.

Joining me to get a C+ in double dog dares is Kate McCabe.

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LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to the final part of our Lord of the Rings specials.

It’s Christmas! So where better to celebrate than Middle Earth!

We’ll be looking things up on the web, putting on the Eagles, while also looking for rings down at the riverbank and coming home to a warm Shire.

Yes, it’s Return of the King.

And joining me to bow to no one are Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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LETHAL WEAPON with David Hoare

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to a Christsmersh Special!

This week we’ll be bringing back Christmas traditions that have long left us. We’ll be getting a bird down, spending quality time with friends both old and new, feeling depressed, and watching on as an Australian drinks too much and has a big fight on the lawn.

Yes, it’s Lethal Weapon.

Joining me to agree that I am indeed too old for this shit, is David Hoare with an H

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TALES FROM THE CRYPT with Anna Savory

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Ding Dong Merrily on High! Welcome to a ChristSMERSH Special!

Today we’ll be listening to Christmas lectures and trying to raise our spirits in the cemetery, and much like every Christmas there will be a bit of horrible self reflection, some heartless poetry, a couple of blind alleys, and a big screaming stiff!

Yes, it’s Tales from the Crypt

And joining me to look for the Claus in her contract, is a very festive Anna Savory.

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SMERSH HITS: THE PRINCESS BRIDE

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

A tribute to the late, great Rob Reiner.

This week we’ll be looking for true love, lost fathers and six fingers, but enough about those Andre the Giant rumours.

Yes, it’s The Princess Bride.

Joining me to read a story to a cancelled child, are Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY with Andrew O'Neill

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be running away to join the circus to find out just what these bloody clowns have done with this pesky mole.

Yes, it’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

And joining me to be Smiley friends with a very slow horse, is Andrew O’Neill.

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ESCAPE TO VICTORY with Paul Whitelaw

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be keeping calm and carrying on as we head back to WW2 in order to lose ourselves in Paris after a Sly game of football with our old foe Jerry.

Yes, it’s Escape to Victory

And joining me to get pulled off at half time by a Frenchman is Paul Whitelaw.

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CLUB CLASSICS: BLUES BROTHERS 2000 with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 15:33:06 GMT

Recorded February 23rd 2021

In this, the 30th episode of the Monday Night Movie Club, we returned to the man who first brought us together: Dan Aykroyd, and have a look at yet another god-awful offering.

RIP Steve Cropper.

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STARSHIP TROOPERS with Tom Crowley and David Hoare

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be heading into future deep space to try and deal with an insect infestation so bad we’ll need the world’s biggest slipper to stand even half a chance.

Yes, it’s Starship Troopers

Joining me to get Dizzy and achieve total Rico, are two Ace guys: Tom Crowley and David Hoare.

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SPIDER-MAN 2 with Tom Burgess

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Spider-Man special!

This week we’ll be swinging back to 2004 to find out just what too much responsibility can do to your fluids, and ask the question as old as time: where does the world’s most intelligent scientist keeps his armies - up his sleevies!

Yes, it’s Spider-Man 2

Joining me to pop on a Parker and catch a train is Tom Burgess.

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PHENOMENON with Dr. Dean Burnett

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be looking up to the sky in order to eventually head towards the light, while also winning the heart of a lady by showing her our massive cucumber and two red hot over ripe tomatoes.

Yes, it’s Phenomenon

And joining me to show light the way is top egghead neuroscientist, according to to the Daily Star, Dr. Dean Burnett.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be taking a dip into the complicated world of inter-species-cartoon love, and examining just what the legal implications are of dropping a safe on someone’s head.

Yes, it’s Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Joining me are two men never afraid to be drawn into a mystery, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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NO HOLDS BARRED with Andy from The Bang Bang Podcast

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be finding out what happens when a normal wrestler is pushed to the edge and forced to choose between the woman he loves, or the sport he loves - until it’s unionised. Will he tell Vince about the union thing, or will he come out fighting when “The Battle of the Tough Guys” comes calling?

Yes, it’s No Holds Barred.

And joining me to rip em up and break some beds, is Andy from the Bang Bang Podcast.

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THE FOG with Toby Hadoke

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Happy Halloween!

Today we’ll be heading out to Spivey Point to tell stories around the camp fire all about a pea souper full of sea men - and I’m not talking about the new Winter Bukake range from Campbells.

Yes, it’s THE FOG

And joining me to find out just what they did with the drunken sailors, is Toby Hadoke.

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THE DEAD ZONE with John Thomson

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Halloween Special.

This week we’ll be peeking into the future in order to find out who will get hurt running with scissors, who will be skating on thin ice, and just who will be left holding the baby.

Yes, it’s The Dead Zone

And joining me to take Walken on the wild side, is John Thomson.

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DEAD OF NIGHT with Anna Savory

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Halloween Special!

This week we’ll be finding room for one more hole in one inside, while playing hide and seek with the man in the mirror, even though he’s a bit of a dummy.

Yes, it’s Dead of Night

And joining me to dream a little dream or two, is Anna Savory.

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WARLOCK with Paul Litchfield

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Halloween Special!

This week we’ll be time hopping into the future in order to stop a highly dangerous flying ham of sorcery from destroying the world, and sending the universe into ultimate darkness.

Yes, it’s Warlock!

And joining me to look for mucky books on a farm, is Paul Litchfield

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RE-ANIMATOR with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Halloween Special!

This week we’ll be finding out how to get A HEAD in science, while also aiming to shock the world of science by showing them our frothing angry stiff ones.

Yes, it’s Re-animator

And joining me are two men that I am DEAD lucky to have with me, Eminent Brain doctor Dr. Dean Burnett, and award winning Welsh man Dan Thomas.

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THE FLY with Dan Thomas

Sun, 19 Oct 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Welcome to a Halloween Special!

This week we’ll be killing monkeys, wrestling Canadians, sh*gging on a sofa bed, and eating steaks, no it’s not a day at the Neverland Ranch, it’s THE FLY!

Joining me to get our pods out in order to see if we can get them to go from one side of the room to another, is award winning Welshman Dan Thomas.

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TASTE THE BLOOD OF DRACULA with Ashley Blaker

Sun, 12 Oct 2025 23:00:00 GMT

Welcome to a Halloween Special!

This week we’ll be taking a drink from the hairy caped goblet and seeing just what happens when three men try and save for a big night out, but totally lose COUNT of what they’re spending.

Yes, it’s Taste the Blood of Dracula.

Joining me is a man who does a lot of work for charity but doesn’t like to talk about it - Ashley Blaker.

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QUATERMASS 2 with Toby Hadoke

Sun, 05 Oct 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Quatermass Special!

This week we’ll be watching on helplessly as an absolute shower invade Hemel Hempstead and try and ruin the party atmosphere.

Yes, it’s Quatermass 2

And joining me to drink a pint of the black stuff, is Toby Hadoke himself.

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THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB with Paul Whitelaw

Sun, 28 Sep 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be looking to solve an intriguing mystery. That mystery being why Amblin and Netflix poured 60 million dollars into making an episode of Rosemary and Thyme.

Yes, it’s Thursday Murder Club.

Joining me to bring cake, flowers and drawings of cocks is Paul Whitelaw

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DIRTY DANCING with Kate McCabe

Sun, 21 Sep 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be putting on our dancing shoes and heading back to the sticky summer of 1963 to find young lust, broken trust, steamy thrusts and all in all have the time of our lives.

Yes, it’s Dirty Dancing

Joining me to carry a watermelon, is Kate McCabe.

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ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE with Dan Thomas

Sun, 14 Sep 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be full of Christmas cheer and COUNTing our blessings one more time, as we go out on the piste with Blofeld and find out if he’s allergic to a bit of the other fella.

Yes, it’s On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

Joining me to feel a light stiffness coming on as we Rigg the system, is award winning Welshman, Dan Thomas.

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THE NEVERENDING STORY with Kate McCabe

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be heading to a magical land where books have power, dreams can come tree, and haunting horse death is all part of a fun kids adventure!

Yes, it’s The Never Ending Story

And joining me to chat about a whole lot of nothing, is Kate McCabe.

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THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD with Anna Savory

Sun, 31 Aug 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another Amicus Special.

This week we’ll be looking around a house to let. A place where you’d have to be BATS to live there, though under the WRITE conditions, you’d perhaps WAX lyrical about WITCH room would suit you best?

Yes, it’s The House that Dripped Blood.

Joining me to put on a cape and grab a bite, is Anna Savory.

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ROCKY IV with Paul Whitelaw

Sun, 24 Aug 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be punching through the Iron Curtain and giving Christmas a black eye, as we seek to avenge a loved one, and prove to the world that a small man can hit a big one.

Yes, it’s Rocky IV

And joining me to look for appropriate birthday presents for Paulie, is Paul Whitelaw.

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ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN with Karl Coppack

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be checking in to the Watergate Hotel to find out just who is wandering the halls with torches, microphones and tape recorders, and looking into what happened in the far distant past when the President of the United States was corrupt and mad.

Yes, it’s All the President's Men

Joining me to get half way through and realise we’ve watched the wrong Deep Throat, is Karl Coppack.

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THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT with David Hoare

Sun, 10 Aug 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Welcome to another FAST SPECIAL.

This week we’ll be heading to the far east in order to get back onto the straight and narrow, but drifting into trouble anyway.

Yes, it’s The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift!

And joining me to get a Han job, is CAR BOY David Hoare

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CARRY ON GIRLS with Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be looking deep into the eye of the beholder and pondering just what it’s like to be objectified for the male gaze, while also posing for tasteful nudes while an aged Admiral crouches behind us.

Yes it’s Carry on Girls

And joining me are two men just itching to give in to excessive pier pressure, Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.

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ROCKY III with Paul Whitelaw

Sun, 27 Jul 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be mourning father figures, facing our fears and climbing back in the ring like there’s no tomorrow.

Yes, it’s Rocky III

And joining me to cuddle in the sea and show us he has the eye of the tiger, is Paul Whitelaw.

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CLUB CLASSICS: SUBURBAN COMMANDO with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 16:56:54 GMT

One from 2023 and the Monday Night Movie Club archives.

Dan takes Dean and John to the suburbs to meet Shep Ramsey, and save the world.

RIP Hulk Hogan.

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HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY with Ryland Tews

Sun, 20 Jul 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be away with the fairies as we deal with death, punch some muppets, and try and stop a member of Bros from ending the world.

Yes, it’s Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Joining me to ensure everything runs like clockwork, is Ryland Tews

Check out Hundreds of Beavers here: www.hundredsofbeavers.com

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JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH with David Hoare

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 20:48:00 GMT

Welcome to another Jurassic Special!

This week we’ll be heading to the Island where all the mistakes are kept. There’s big ones, small ones, ones that look like rocks, tough ones, sissy ones; even ones with chicken pox!

Yes it’s Jurassic World: Rebirth!

Joining me to avoid getting some big D, is the Lizard Lad himself, David Hoare.

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SMERSH ON SCREEN: SUPERMAN (2025)

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 12:51:41 GMT

Johnny Candon glides in to have a small chat about the latest Superman adventure.

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2 FAST 2 FURIOUS with David Hoare

Sun, 13 Jul 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be driving very fast bright cars and going deep undercover in the dirty and highly dangerous world of vague crime.

Yes, it’s 2 Fast 2 Furious.

Joining me to stare and drive while smacking that ass, is CAR BOY David Hoare

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THE KARATE KID with Steve Hall

Sun, 06 Jul 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be brushing up on our martial arts as we tackle sand kicking bullies, domineering instructors, and spend a bit too much time with a middle-aged man trimming his bush.

Yes, it’s The Karate Kid.

Joining me is a man never afraid to wax off, it’s Steve Hall.

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JURASSIC PARK with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Welcome to a podcast 65 million years in the making!

This week we’ll be heading to an island in Costa Rica to find out if life really does find a way, and what exactly maths have got to do with endorsing a theme park.

Yes, it’s Jurassic Park

And joining me are two men that you will always find in the kitchen at dinosaur parks, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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CARRY ON DICK with Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

Sun, 29 Jun 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Hello and welcome to another Carry On special. This time live from the October 2024 Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival!

Yes, it’s Carry On Dick.

And joining me are two men never afraid to c*ck their pistols at the roadside - Paul Litchfield and Dan Thomas.

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HUDSON HAWK with Paul Gannon

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be joining nun-other than the world’s best cat burglar as he jumps on the Mayflower to Rome in order to turn lead into gold.

Yes, it’s Hudson Hawk

And joining me to try and find the DaVinci code and attend that hat convention in July, is Paul Gannon

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CROCODILE DUNDEE with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 15 Jun 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be heading down under to bring a fish out of water home to America. There’ll be bites, sights, lights and fights, as the greatest Australian export since Rolf Harris, is let loose in the Big Apple.

Yes, it’s Crocodile Dundee

And joining me to find out just what is a knife, is Paul Litchfield.

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SMERSH ON SCREEN: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: THE FINAL RECKONING

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Award-winning Professional Welshman Dan Thomas joins to talk over our feelings regarding Ethan Hunt's last big job. There will be spoliers!

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ALIEN3 with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Sun, 08 Jun 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be taking a crash course in prison etiquette and meeting a bunch of stuffy old men who learn the hard way that a woman is always right.

Yes it’s Alien3.

And joining me to find out where you can be heard screaming are Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas.

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JAWS 2 with Jim Howick

Sun, 01 Jun 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be going back to the island and hoping that it’s safe to go back into the water, spoiler alert: It isn’t. There’ll be long hairs, wide flares, and a woman that is so panicked by the sight of a shark that she blows herself up.

Yes, it’s Jaws 2.

Joining me to open the window after visiting Cable Junction, is Jim Howick.

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TANGO AND CASH with Kate McCabe

Sun, 25 May 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll meeting the best cops in the business; one who loves to waltz in and take all your drugs, and the other who loves a bit of ATM.

Yes it’s Tango and Cash!

Joining me to get FUBAR BIG TIME is Kate McCabe.

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THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT with Toby Hadoke

Sun, 18 May 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be coming down to Earth with a bang, and celebrating by making some jelly, visiting the zoo, and hanging around at Westminster Abbey.

Yes, it’s The Quatermass Xperiment

Joining me to come face to face with a gin goblin, is Toby Hadoke.

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ROCKY II with Paul Whitelaw

Sun, 11 May 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be returning to Philadelphia to find out who’s packing meat, who has the hairiest baby, if second time truly is a charm.

Yes, it’s Rocky II

Joining me to splash it on and make us smeel mainly, is Paul Whitelaw

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THE MAN WHO HAUNTED HIMSELF with John Thomson

Sun, 04 May 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be literally leading a double life in the fast lane, while also looking into the taking of Pelham 1 and 2.

Yes, it’s The Man Who Haunted Himself

And joining me to ask for more Moore, is John Thomson.

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THE CLONE WARS with Tom Crowley

Sun, 27 Apr 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be searching the galaxy high and low for a missing baby, and finding out just who wants to hit the Hutt.

Yes, it’s The Clone Wars

Joining me remember that Christopher Lee would do literally anything for money, is Tom Crowley.

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FROM HELL with Karl Coppack

Sun, 20 Apr 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be heading back the cutthroat streets and alleyways of the the East End of Victorian London and asking the important questions:

What if the Queen was involved in a murderous conspiracy?

What if one of the Ripper’s victims actually escaped?

And what if respected Victorian detective Frederick Abberline was essentially Uri Geller mixed with Pete Doherty.

Yes, it’s From Hell

And joining me to discover just who will be blamed for everything, is Karl Coppack.

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CASINO ROYALE with Dan Thomas

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be knowing when to hold them, when to fold them, and when to walk away, as we witness James Bond reborn, regenerated, refurbished and really not very good at knowing when someone is bluffing.

Yes it’s Casino Royale.

Joining me to bring a gun to a snake and mongoose fight is Dan Thomas.

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TOMBSTONE with Dan Thomas

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 21:59:46 GMT

This week we’ll be heading to a town built by bloody cowboys to find out just what it takes to get a man out of retirement: revenge, or squirrel.

Yes, it’s Tombstone.

Joining me to find out who shot the Sheriff, is Dan Thomas.

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SPIDER-MAN with Tom Burgess

Sun, 06 Apr 2025 23:05:00 GMT

Welcome to a Spider-Man special!

This week we’ll be going back to 2002 and dialling up the web to go on the hunt for the best swinger, and find out just who has been leaving sticky white stuff everywhere.

Yes, It’s Spider-Man

Joining me to mess with one and all of New York, is Tom Burgess.

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CLUB CLASSICS: KING SOLOMON'S MINES

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 23:05:00 GMT

To mark the sad passing of Richard Chamberlain, here's one from the vaults of August 2021: Dan, John and Dean have GOT IT! And try and find some treasure with it.

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LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be following a small naked man who wants to get a good look at our ring, bringing an old man off in front of his daughter, getting Merry with a massive wood, while also helping hundreds of men get helm’s deep.

Yes, it’s The Two Towers.

Joining me to show that they couldn’t give a Fangorn forest, is The Snake Boys, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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THE ELECTRIC STATE with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 22:02:22 GMT

It's 1994, and Mr Peanut signed a treaty of surrender with President Clinton.

A recent episode of the Monday Night Movie Club from the Smersh Patreon.

Subscribe here: https://www.patreon.com/c/SmershPod

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DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE with Ashley Blaker

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be returning to Castle Dracula to get some much needed exorcise.

There’ll be a bit of necking, some heavy petting, and a British bake off so sensual that it may cause a few soggy bottoms.

Yes, it’s Dracula Has Risen from the Grave.

Joining me to see if the baker KNEADS any help, is world class profiterole chef Ashley Blaker.

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THE MAGIC FLUTE with Madeleine Brettingham

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be entering a magical land where love conquers all, lies have no place, and all the men seem to have the horn 24/7.

Yes, it’s The Magic Flute

And joining me walk through fire while three lads in a balloon admire our Vorsprung durch Technik, is Madeleine Brettingham

Go see Dear Martin at the Arcola Theatre while you can:

https://www.arcolatheatre.com/whats-on/dear-martin/

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JFK with Martin Fitzgerald

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be heading down to Dallas to ride the wild rollercoaster of conspiracy. There’ll be thrills, spills, and more twists and turns than a weirdly laid out presidential motorcade.

Yes, it’s JFK.

Joining me to sit back and to the left on the fence at the grassy knoll, is Martin Fitzgerald.

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TORTURE GARDEN with Anna Savory

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be attending the last night of the fair from a seat on a whirling waltzer, as five unsuspecting people walk into the a show they won’t forget and have the devil of a time.

Yes, it’s Torture Garden

Joining me to find out if we have a cat in hells chance of ever mastering the piano, is Anna Savory.

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CLUB CLASSICS: LOOSE CANNONS with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 16:37:22 GMT

In view of the sad passing of Gene Hackman, we went back to the archives to June 2020 and dug out an old episode. This was also the very first episode of The Monday Night Movie Club, and there is big talk of Covid, so sorry about that!

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OVERBOARD with Kate McCabe

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be gaslighting like there’s no tomorrow, after all as the saying goes, unlucky in love, lucky in finding women with amnesia in a river to seduce against their will.

Yes. It’s Overboard!

Joining me to plan the ultimate prestige mini golf course, is Kate McCabe

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ROCKY with Paul Whitelaw

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be going the distance as we prove that as well as terrapins and goldfish, you can also find underdogs hanging around in pet shops.

We also bear witness to the only boxing match where it helps if you beat your meat before a fight.

Yes, it’s Rocky.

Joining me to take a pounding in the ring, is Paul Whitelaw.

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THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS with David Hoare

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be putting our pedal to the metal and finding out just who’s been doing the worst hijacking, Dom Toretto’s gang, or the screenwriters.

Yes, it’s The Fast and Furious.

Joining me to live life a quarter mile at a time, is Car Boy David Hoare with an H.

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DUNE with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be folding space, Navigating time, and asking KWISATZ HADERACH

to give the worm a phone.

Yes, it’s Dune

And joining me to use the voice and ride a big worm is Paul Litchfield.

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THE PODSUADERS: THE PROTECTORS: A POCKET FULL OF POSIES

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 00:05:00 GMT

In this episode, we'll be solving everything with a nice cuppa and bringing things back down to Eartha... It's The Protectors, who will be investigating 'A Pocket Full of Posies' - with special guest star Ivan Kirby!

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TOTAL RECALL with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be getting our ass to Mars to find out just who’s been meddling with our minds, and just who sells three cupped bras at this time of night.

Yes, it’s Total Recall.

Joining me to open their mind, is Kuato Dr. Dean Burnett, and Gwat-o Dan Thomas.

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CLUB CLASSICS: Alita: Battle Angel with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 00:05:00 GMT

From January 2022!

Dean, John and Dan take you to the 26th century to talk about everything in this film, and a lot about Geoff Capes and David Bellamy. This might be the best thing we've all ever done.

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STAR TREK: GENERATIONS with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 00:06:02 GMT

Welcome to another Star Trek special.

This week we’ll be entering the Nexus, a place where time means nothing, and you can go anywhere you want, and have anything your heat desires. So I am hoping it drops me off at Star Trek 2

Yes, it’s Star Trek : Generations.

And joining me to tie an energy ribbon round Enterprise B is Paul Litchfield.

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NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SMERSH POD: VOL: 4

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 00:05:08 GMT

Hello and welcome to SMERSHPOD, I’m your host John Rain. This time for another of our extra special compilation episodes where we’ve taken the very best parts of SMERSHes gone by, edited them together, realised it’s only 3 minutes long, and then sifted through the bin to see how we can bulk out the running time.

Today we’re opening up the 2023 SMERSH vault.

Over the next 45 minutes you’ll be hearing from galaxies far, far away, heroes from long, long ago, and another set of adjectives to be inserted here in the final script, must check that before recording.

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HOME ALONE with Tom Burgess

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 00:05:36 GMT

Welcome to another ChirstSMERSH special.

This week we’ll be really getting into the spirit of Christmas by letting a child eat his own weight in chocolate, giving life lessons to an old man, and making some parents feel like utter sh*t.

Yes, it’s Home Alone.

Joining me to make some bandits wet is Tom Burgess

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DIE HARD 2 with Paul Gannon

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 00:05:30 GMT

This week we’ll be finding out just what happens when awful, unscrupulous people take over an airline and cause nothing but fear, panic, terror and chaos, and I’m not talking about Ryanair.

Yes, it’s Die Hard 2

Joining me to do nude karate while ensuring that his seat is back and his folding trays are in their full upright position, is Paul Gannon.

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THE PRINCESS BRIDE - with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 00:05:30 GMT

This week we’ll be looking for true love, lost fathers and six fingers, but enough about those Andre the Giant rumours.

Yes, it’s The Princess Bride.

Joining me to read a story to a cancelled child, are Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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SMERSH HITS! LOVE ACTUALLY with Julia Raeside

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 00:05:14 GMT

An archive classic all the way from 2017!

John is joined by the thoroughly brilliant Guardian TV critic Julia Raeside.

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END OF DAYS with Dan Thomas

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 00:05:08 GMT

Welcome to a Christsmersh Special!

This week we’ll be having no sympathy for the devil, thank you very much, as we try and stop the very worst form of the Millennium Bug - Satan himself.

Yes, it’s End of Days.

Joining me to link hands, sing Auld Lang Syne and fall on his own sword is Dan Thomas.

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SMERSH HITS: SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE with Natt Tapley

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 00:05:21 GMT

A dip into the archive sack for a Christmas special from 2017!

Sit astride your robot reindeer for a never-ending eternal night-flight through 1985's Santa Claus: The Movie.

To discuss all things festive and flawed, John is joined by celebrated TV writer and Smershpod fave Nat Tapley

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BRAZIL with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 00:05:32 GMT

This week we’ll be logging in at the ministry and ensuring that all correct paperwork is signed and processed, while maintaining civilised standards of terrorist eradication, all while wearing the correct suit.

Yes, it’s Brazil.

And In keeping with the rigid parameters set by the powers that be, we will be making sure that all procedures are followed and any mistakes eradicated before commencing the podcast.

With that in mind I am delighted that my guest this week is Mr. Saul Witchfield (Paul Litchfield)

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JURASSIC WORLD with David Hoare

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 00:05:51 GMT

Welcome to another Jurassic Smersh Pod!

This week we’ll be going back to the island to find out if it’s a good idea to open a theme park on the site of a major disaster that killed many people.

Yes it’s Jurassic World.

And joining me to complete the trilogy and get a megasorearse, is David Hoare.

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DIRTY GRANDPA with Madeleine Brettingham

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 00:05:08 GMT

This week we’ll be finding out what happens if you take Last of the Summer Wine and mix it with equal parts Porkies and late stage Top Gear.

Yes, it’s Dirty Grandpa.

Joining me to ask What’s up now BRA??, is comedy writer and performer Madeleine Brettingham

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STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 00:05:30 GMT

Welcome to another Star Trek Special.

This week we’ll be taking the absolute peace, and watching on as art imitates life and we witness the slow, sad breakdown of a once mighty force, and I’m not just talking about William Shatner’s wig.

They’ll be intrigue, espionage, explosions, and Kirk getting off with a giant sexy bear.

Yes, it’s Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country.

Joining me to give us all his Hamlet as we take one last sad sip of Romulan Ale, is Paul Litchfield.

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E.T. with Steve Hall

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 00:05:20 GMT

Welcome to Smersh Pod.

This week we’ll be recounting the beautiful story of when a small person arrived and touched the World, no it’s not a biopic of Wee Jimmy Krankie. It’s E.T.

Joining me to poke things with his glowing digit, is Steve Hall.

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THE PODSUADERS - JASON KING: A PAGE BEFORE DYING

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 21:29:49 GMT

In this episode, Stephen Graham and I will be donning our leather pants and turning up our shirt cuffs as the archetypal adventure author, Jason King, as he investigates 'A Page Before Dying.’

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SNEAKERS with Richard Asplin

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 00:08:23 GMT

This week we’ll be hanging out with a young burglar, an old spy, a angry fugitive, a fat delinquent, a blind hippy hacker, and a milfy piano teacher... and guessing which one of them dies first.

The result will shock you.

Yes, it’s Sneakers.

My name is John Rain, and joining me to watch with Mother, a film that could now literally just be an email, is Richard Asplin.

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THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES with John Thomson

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 00:05:30 GMT

Welcome to another Halloween Special.

This week we’ll voicing concerns and saving face, while asking nine doctors for second opinions, and also working on playing a very impressive angry red organ.

Yes, it’s The Abominable Dr. Phibes

Joining me to exit pursued by a Trout, is John Thomson.

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DOCTOR TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS with Anna Savory

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 00:05:06 GMT

Hello and welcome to another Halloween special.

This week we’ll be settling into a cozy train carriage to begin a package deal holiday with a difference. There’ll be luscious full moon vistas, beautiful greenery, captivating music, views to die for, and a big stiff one on honeymoon.

Yes, it’s Dr. Terror's House of Horrors

Joining me to let the cards fall where they may, is Anna Savory.

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THE THING with Toby Hadoke

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 00:05:47 GMT

Welcome to another Halloween Special.

This week we’ll be heading down south for a spot of chess, a hot dog or two, and to find out just what used to happen when Windows got infected.

Yes, It’s John Carpenter’s The Thing

Joining me to spend the rest of this winter tied to a couch, is Toby Hadoke.

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LONGLEGS with Sarah Morgan

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 00:05:13 GMT

Welcome to a SMERSH POD Halloween Special.

This week we’ll be getting dolled up and chatting to the man downstairs in order to find out just who is making the creepiest dolls since the Crinkly Bottom gift shop closed.

Yes, it’s Longlegs!

And joining me to give a restrained and dignified performance in the spirit of the film, is Sarah Morgan.

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LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Sun, 20 Oct 2024 23:05:51 GMT

Hello and welcome to a Lord of the Rings special

This week we’ll be travelling to Middle Earth to join a group of 9 friends going on a lads holiday with a difference.

There’ll be pints! fireworks, misplaced carrots, uphill gardening, a slow riverboat tour, and the trip will inevitably end with someone getting their big old orcs out for the lads.

Yes, it’s Fellowship of the Ring.

Joining me to speak friend and enter are the Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

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SUPERMAN THE MOVIE with Johnny Candon

Sun, 13 Oct 2024 23:05:28 GMT

Welcome to another Superman special.

This week we’ll be finding what happens when the people of Krypton go for vibes over science, and ask an audience to believe that not only can a man fly, but Marlon Brando can also learn lines.

Yes, it’s Superman the Movie.

Joining me for an extended trip to Teschmacher Peaks, is Johnny Candon

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ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 with Toby Hadoke

Sun, 06 Oct 2024 23:09:24 GMT

Hello and welcome to the mean streets of LA as you join us for a white hot night of hate.

There’ll be armed gangs, heavy gunfire, harsh beatings, and even harsher ice cream tariffs.

Yes, it’s Assault on Precinct 13

Joining me to ask for a smoke, is Toby Hadoke.

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CLUB CLASSICS: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Sat, 28 Sep 2024 19:04:10 GMT

The lads are back, and this time they need to stop evil from entering a fissure and making a new version of a classic film.

From Feb 2024

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CLUB CLASSICS: BASIC INSTINCT with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 15:17:22 GMT

John, Dean and Dan visit the very height of erotica, and try and pick holes in it.

A Monday Night Movie Club recorded in July 2021.

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DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS with Ashley Blaker

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 23:05:26 GMT

This week we’ll be returning to Castle Dracula to find that a table is already laid, and dinner prepared for a bunch of proper Kents, though there will be complaints about the lack of garlic in the sauce.

Yes, it’s Dracula: Prince of Darkness

Joining me hang upside down and sing Old Red Eyes is Back is Ashley Blaker

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CLUB CLASSICS: BATMAN FOREVER with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 19:25:12 GMT

John takes Dan and Dean to Gotham City, to give them a kiss on their rose.

A Monday Night Movie Club episode from February 2021.

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It's All in the Game - with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 01 Sep 2024 23:05:48 GMT

Welcome to Columpod - my wife's kid brother's favourite podcast about LA's greatest detective.

This week we’ll be seeing just how long it takes a detective to solve a murder when he has massive blue balls and a permanent horn.

Yes. It’s All in the Game!

Joining me to see just who has had someone Dunaway with, is Paul Litchfield.

#Columpod #SmershPod

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THE PODSUADERS: Ep.1 - Overture

Sun, 18 Aug 2024 23:05:23 GMT

Hello, and welcome to THE PODSUADERS! - a podcast celebrating the Golden Age of ITC drama. Hosted by the man who speaks seven languages and only uses them to order cocktails – John Rain.

And the man born with a silver spoon in his mouth but just licks jam from it – Stephen Graham.

We’ll be diving deep into some of the best episodes of Lew Grade’s high-quality big-budget acid trips, globetrotting and carousing our way through some of the continent’s best gambling dens and nightspots, which may either be on a genuine location shoot in Cannes or Borehamwood High Street in February.

And in our first episode, we’ll be picked up by a wealthy elderly bachelor in need of some sensitive assistance as we look at ‘Overture’, the first episode of The Persuaders!

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REAR WINDOW with Tom Burgess

Sun, 11 Aug 2024 23:05:43 GMT

This week we’ll be carrying out an aggressive takeover of the neighbourhood watch committee as we find out just who’s packed his wife off for the summer. Yes, it’s Rear Window.

Joining me to sit back and watch our neighbours while we have a big long stiff one in a cast is Peepin Tom Burgess.

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DRACULA (1958) with Ashley Blaker

Sun, 04 Aug 2024 23:05:27 GMT

This week we’ll be holidaying in not-so-sunny Transylvania, where we’ll take in the sights, the sounds, the bites and the grounds, as we try and find out just who has been necking all the pints, and just who ate all the brides . Yes, it’s Dracula!

Joining me ask if I know what he MINA’S is Hammer enthusiast, and I don’t mean a fan of Peter Sutcliffe, Ashley Blaker

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CARRY ON DOCTOR with Paul Litchfield and Dan Thomas

Sun, 28 Jul 2024 23:05:15 GMT

This week we’ll be staying a while on Britain’s wackiest ward. Where there’ll be fun, frolics, bollocks and washing off Hattie Jacques while two ambulance men watch.

Yes, it’s Carry on Doctor.

Joining me are two men who are never afraid to dress up and visit a prone Winkle; Paul Litchfield and Dan Thomas.

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SMERSH HITS! HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE with Tom Crowley and Tom Neenan

Sun, 14 Jul 2024 23:04:41 GMT

A classic from the archive! This week we'll be heading to deepest King's Cross with a large bearded man on a motorbike who tells us that we're thumping good wizards, and capable of squeezing through tight entrances via magic. Yes, it's Harry Potter and the Philisopher's Stone.

Joining me to get their wands out and wave them about, is not just one Tom, but two - messers Neenan and Crowley!

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STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 30 Jun 2024 23:05:08 GMT

This week we’ll be studying the charts of 1982 to if the Goody Two Shoes lads of the Enterprise have the eye of the tiger. We’ll also find out how Genesis are getting on, if Scotty got sick after coming on Eileen, and if we can truly chuck-a-Khan, yes it’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Joining me to feel like Nelson Mandela after his divorce in 1996, a no-Win situation, is Paul Litchfield.

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SMERSH HITS! GOLDFINGER with Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie

Sun, 23 Jun 2024 23:05:41 GMT

One from the archives, and the dark old days of 2020, when I had the pleasure to be joined by two of the suavest gentlemen in the world to chat all about Goldfinger, and what a pleasure it was.

Joining me to hang around in, frankly too small, romper suits are a pair of the smoothest, suavest gentlemen actors you're likely to find at this time of the day anywhere in the world - Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie.

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THE MEDUSA TOUCH with John Thomson

Sun, 16 Jun 2024 23:05:49 GMT

TELEKINESIS: A mental force that enables this man to move objects and control events. Science cannot explain the awesome power of the mind. And nothing can control it.

Richard Burton has THE MEDUSA TOUCH

And it’s no coincidence that joining me to have a nice lie down and try to scare Shaw Taylor is John Thomson!

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HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Sun, 09 Jun 2024 23:05:10 GMT

This week we’ll be combatting the return of Voldemort by forcefully encouraging the chosen one to throw himself into the arms of a questionable groomer.

Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

Joining me to show us all their dragon balls are the SNAKE BOYS, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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STAR WARS: EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH - With Tom Crowley

Sun, 02 Jun 2024 23:06:12 GMT

This week we’ll be duelling scared, battle hardened and positively dripping in intrigue as we examine just who is behind these Star Wars, and just what happens when you move on to practical fighting lessons with the younglings.

Yes, it’s Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

And joining me to get out our big quaking lizards, is Tom Crowley

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SMERSH HITS! WITHOUT A CLUE with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 26 May 2024 23:09:32 GMT

A classic from the vaults!

This week we be donning our deerstalkers, polishing our magnifying glasses, and giving a full treatment of the sleuthing routine - yes, it’s Without a Clue.

Joining me to hunt down the dreaded Arty Morty, is comedian Paul Litchfield, and Terry Wogan.

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JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM with David Hoare

Sun, 19 May 2024 23:05:45 GMT

Welcome to another Jurassic Smersh Pod, as we ponder just what would happen if we ignore an utter abomination and let it die a fiery death. We’d all be happier.

Yes, it’s Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom.

And joining me to try and get blood from a clone, is David Hoare.

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DEEP RISING with Dan Thomas and Dean Burnett (2021)

Sun, 12 May 2024 23:05:23 GMT

A DEEP DIVE dip back to a Monday Night Movie Club from the dark old days of 2021.

A personal favourite of the group. It was the end of our first "series" and therefore we were all a bit giddy.

To hear more like it sign up for more here https://www.patreon.com/SmershPod

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RETURN TO OZ with Natt Tapley

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 11:42:17 GMT

Welcome to to the magical, marvellous mystical land of Oz.

A place where stand up comedian chickens chat with fat arthritic robots, while witches with severed heads chase you across deadly sand dunes with wheeled PTSD machines roll into your waking nightmares.

Yes, it’s celebrated children’s film Return to Oz.

And joining me to put on his best shoes and head out to a HEN DO, is Natt Tapley.

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STARGATE (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 23:05:41 GMT

Hello and welcome to Ancient Egypt. A beautiful place, filled with rich history - and you can’t say Pharoah than that. However the view Sphinx, and everyone is in DE NILE.

This week we’ll joining some weird GIZA’s and boarding a Chariot of the Gods, to see what happens when we put our head through someone’s big old ring.

Yes, it’s Stargate.

Joining me to realise that there are no doorbells in Egypt, so he’ll we’ll have to toot and come in, is Dan Thomas.

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STARGATE (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 21 Apr 2024 23:05:46 GMT

Hello and welcome to Ancient Egypt. A beautiful place, filled with rich history - and you can’t say Pharoah than that. However the view Sphinx, and everyone is in DE NILE.

This week we’ll joining some weird GIZA’s and boarding a Chariot of the Gods, to see what happens when we put our head through someone’s big old ring.

Yes, it’s Stargate.

Joining me to realise that there are no doorbells in Egypt, so he’ll we’ll have to toot and come in, is Dan Thomas.

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SMERSH HITS! BIGGLES: ADVENTURES IN TIME with Dan Thomas

Sun, 07 Apr 2024 23:05:42 GMT

One from the archives! This week we'll be donning our goggles, jumping in our kite, and going to heaven and back while fighting those damned Jerries - but because this is the 1980s, we will also be jumping back and forth in time and being American. Yes - it's BIGGLES: ADVENTURES IN TIME.

Joining me to wanna be a hero is comedian and Welsh man, Dan Thomas.

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SUPERMAN RETURNS (PART TWO) with Johnny Candon

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 23:05:48 GMT

This week we’ll be using our super powers to check in on an old flame, whether she likes it or not, while our greatest nemesis plots to kill billions of people via legitimately the worst plan ever created.

Yes, it’s Superman Returns

And joining me to write about how much he doesn’t need to be here, convincing absolutely no one, is Johnny Candon.

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SUPERMAN RETURNS (PART ONE) with Johnny Candon

Sun, 31 Mar 2024 23:05:36 GMT

Yes, it’s Superman Returns

And joining me to write about how much he doesn’t need to be here, convincing absolutely no one, is Johnny Candon.

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KRULL (PART TWO) with Dan Tetsell

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 00:05:55 GMT

Welcome traveller, to a conquered planet, enslaved by The terrifying Beast, and conquered by his army of evil alien invaders.

There is hope for this world however, if the prophecy will come true, a king and queen will free these lands, produce a child, and bring prosperity back, and hopefully find work for Liam Neeson.

Yes, it’s KRULL.

Joining me to hide in the bushes and show his one eyed warrior to scared magicians, is Dan Tetsell

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KRULL (PART ONE) with Dan Tetsell

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 00:05:37 GMT

Welcome traveller, to a conquered planet, enslaved by The terrifying Beast, and conquered by his army of evil alien invaders.

There is hope for this world however, if the prophecy will come true, a king and queen will free these lands, produce a child, and bring prosperity back, and hopefully find work for Liam Neeson.

Yes, it’s KRULL.

Joining me to hide in the bushes and show his one eyed warrior to scared magicians, is Dan Tetsell

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH HITS! For Your Eyes Only with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 00:05:11 GMT

John is joined by Paul Litchfield to look through For Your Eyes Only while minesweeping, and escaping the attention of under-aged women.

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GHOSTBUSTERS II (PART TWO) with Rob Gilroy

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 00:05:24 GMT

When there’s something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call?

How about the exact same script from the first film? Yes, it’s Ghostbusters 2

And joining me to read from his big book of Occults is Rob Gilroy!

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GHOSTBUSTERS II (PART ONE) with Rob Gilroy

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 00:05:52 GMT

When there’s something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call?

How about the exact same script from the first film? Yes, it’s Ghostbusters 2

And joining me to read from his big book of Occults is Rob Gilroy!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 00:05:02 GMT

Hello and welcome to another Star Trek special, as we explore strange new worlds; seek out new life and new civilizations; and get sexually excited by a giant cat lap dancing.

Yes, it’s Star Trek 5 - The Final Frontier.

And joining me to know this ship like the back of his hand *oww* is Paul Litchfield.

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COMMUNION with Dan Thomas

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 00:05:11 GMT

This week we’re Walken back to Happiness with a man so odd that even a bunch of bum-digging aliens don’t want him.

Yes, It’s Communion.

Joining me to TAKE ME TO HIS DEALER, is Dan Thomas.

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JURASSIC WORLD: DOMINION (PART TWO) with David Hoare

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 00:05:20 GMT

Well come to an adventure 65 million years in the making, that just goes to show that if you’ve waited THAT long, than maybe there’s nothing to actually see here.

There’ll be no thrills, no spills, but plenty of belly aches!

Yes, it’s Jurassic World Dominion.

And joining me to watch a film so long and boring that he got a MEGASOREARSE, comedian David Hoare

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JURASSIC WORLD: DOMINION (PART ONE) with David Hoare

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 00:05:04 GMT

Welcome to an adventure 65 million years in the making, that just goes to show that if you’ve waited THAT long, than maybe there’s nothing to actually see here.

There’ll be no thrills, no spills, but plenty of belly aches!

Yes, it’s Jurassic World Dominion.

And joining me to watch a film so long and boring that he got a MEGASOREARSE, comedian David Hoare

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH HITS! THEATRE OF BLOOD

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 00:05:58 GMT

A classic from the vaults.

Welcome to Theatre of Blood!

Joining me for a bloody and violent taste of their own medicine are the film critic and director, Ali Catterall, and the wonderful actor Paul Putner.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX (PART TWO) with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 00:05:20 GMT

Welcome to another Harry Potter special!

This week we’ll be combatting the rise of fascism, by investing heavily in a novelty party trick company, and training children to push each other over, and knock sticks out of adult hands.

Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

And joining me to watch a beloved guardian go all stiff before their very eyes, are THE SNAKE BOYS, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX (PART ONE) with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 00:05:56 GMT

Welcome to another Harry Potter special!

This week we’ll be combatting the rise of fascism, by investing heavily in a novelty party trick company, and training children to push each other over, and knock sticks out of adult hands.

Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

And joining me to watch a beloved guardian go all stiff before their very eyes, are THE SNAKE BOYS, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CARRY ON HENRY - with Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 00:05:26 GMT

This week we’ll be travelling back in time to get our big ones out, while making sure we don’t get our Hampton’s court. What better way to bring in a new year than getting together with friends, and talking about a 57 year old man who is having real trouble coming.

Yes, it’s Carry On Henry, and joining me to TUDOR fat, is Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.

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NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SMERSH POD: VOL: 3

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 00:05:46 GMT

This is another of our special compilation episodes, where we delve into the archives for the best bits of SMERSHes gone by, cut out the libellous bits, and package them together for you like the best pick and mix you’ve ever had, we’ve even used a pair of plastic tongs and a ‘SHARE’ cup.

This time round we’re setting our sights on 2022. Over the next 45 minutes you’ll hear from a Welshman impersonating a Scotsman pretending to be a Russian, tales of a watery grave for a Jedi master, and the return of everybody’s favourite reptile-based trio.

Thanks to Tim Colman, and Out of Context Smersh Pod for all the hard work and support.

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HOOK with Dan Thomas

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 00:05:45 GMT

Merry ChristSmersh!

Welcome to Never Land! A place where if you believe hard enough, even turkeys will fly, and middle-aged men will remember the true meaning of happiness: getting off with hot mermaids!

Yes, it’s HOOK!

Joining me in the Bangarang Bus is Dan Thomas.

Support Dan's short film here:

Sister Anna - A Short Film

1817: Anna flees her wealthy brother and seeks refuge in a Moravian Settlement, the home of Erich, who she has been seeing in secret.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/randombird/sister-anna-a-short-film

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HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK - with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 17 Dec 2023 00:05:46 GMT

Merry ChristSmersh!

Welcome to the Big Apple! Where once again Kevin McAllister has been abandoned by his family, and is once again forced to fend for himself, but this time instead of simply keeping his house safe, he’s saving the orphans, helping the homeless, and leading on old men.

Yes, it’s Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

And joining me to Cool Jerk in your ears, is my fellow sticky bandit, Paul Litchfield!

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SMERSH HITS! Live and Let Die with Jim Howick

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 00:05:51 GMT

A classic from the vaults.

This week, if we play our cards right, we'll be taking a trip to New York, to take in the sights, the sounds and the VOODOO. Yes, it's Live and Let Die.

And joining me for a bourbon in the corner booth or the Fillet of Soul, is actor and writer Jim Howick.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STAR WARS: EPISODE TWO: ATTACK OF THE CLONES (PART TWO) - With Tom Crowley

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 00:05:16 GMT

This week we’ll be walking, talking, hawking, moaning, stalking and porking, as we try and figure out just who is using plotting to bring war to a boring, peaceful, badly acted galaxy. Yes, it’s Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.

Joining me to hate sand and everything it stands for, is Tom Crowley.

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STAR WARS: EPISODE TWO: ATTACK OF THE CLONES (PART ONE) - With Tom Crowley

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 00:05:52 GMT

Joining me to hate sand and everything it stands for, is Tom Crowley.

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SMERSH HITS: RAWHEAD REX

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 00:05:50 GMT

Welcome to a spooky side special of Smersh!

With it being Halloween, all usual rules are off of the table. Abandon all hope ye who enter here!

This week we will be visiting the spookiest place on earth, Ireland, to run for our lives from RAWHEAD REX.

Joining John to potentially get wee'd on, is Irishman (and therefore possible witness to the carnage), journalist and co-host of excellent The Reducer (@TheReducerPod) podcast, Seamus O' Reilly, who can be found on Twitter as @shockproofbeats.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (PART TWO) with Dan Tetsell

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 23:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll seeking solace from tyranny and evil in the haunted forrest of Sherwood, they say it’s filled with unholy spirits, and the terrifying voices of Americans not bothering, mid-range British television actors trying their best, and the blood curdling screams of villainous overacting. Yes, it’s Robin Hood Prince of Thieves

Joining me to drink a pint of English courage, is Dan Tetsell, Prince of Actors.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (PART ONE) with Dan Tetsell

Sun, 15 Oct 2023 23:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll seeking solace from tyranny and evil in the haunted forrest of Sherwood. They say it’s filled with unholy spirits, and the terrifying voices of Americans not bothering, mid-range British television actors trying their best, and the blood curdling screams of villainous overacting.

Yes, it’s Robin Hood Prince of Thieves

Joining me to drink a pint of English courage, is Dan Tetsell, Prince of Actors.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH HITS! Medicine Man with Margaret Cabourn-Smith

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 23:05:35 GMT

this week we'll be welcoming you to the jungle, for fun and games, and rodents and names. Yes - it's Medicine Man, and joining John to look for her purse or car keys, is comedy actor Margaret Cabourn Smith.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

DIE ANOTHER DAY (PART TWO) with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 23:05:36 GMT

This week we’ll be chilling out and getting straight to the point, while also being a bit rubbish, yes, it’s Die Another Day

Joining me to melt your cold, icy heart is Paul Litchfield.

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DIE ANOTHER DAY (PART ONE) with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 17 Sep 2023 23:05:09 GMT

This week we’ll be chilling out and getting straight to the point, while also being a bit rubbish, yes, it’s Die Another Day

Joining me to melt your cold, icy heart is Paul Litchfield.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH HITS! North Sea Hijack with Mark Evans

Sun, 03 Sep 2023 23:05:19 GMT

Roger Moore’s Scotch-soaked North Sea Hijack (1980) is one of the ffew ffilms brave enough to combine terrorism, embroidery, a harpoon gun, James Mason and a box full of kittens. Joining John for a cup of poisoned coffee is Mark Evans, writer, performer, Twitter abstainer and all round ffine ffellow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SUPERMAN II (PART TWO) with Johnny Candon

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 23:02:22 GMT

This week we'll find out how Superman handles the threesome from hell, and just what he'll do to get his fingers and tops. Yes, it's Superman II,

And joining me to get in a hot air balloon and go due north, is Johnny Candon.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SUPERMAN II (PART ONE) with Johnny Candon

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 23:02:58 GMT

This week we'll find out how Superman handles the threesome from hell, and just what he'll do to get his fingers and tops. Yes, it's Superman II,

And joining me to get in a hot air balloon and go due north, is Johnny Candon.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH HITS! A View to a Kill with Dan Thomas

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 23:03:12 GMT

Another classic episode, now abridged into one part.

Join me and Dan Thomas as we dance into the fire, and discover all about his hidden talents for Christopher Walken impressions.

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Murder With Too Many Notes - with Stephen Graham

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 23:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll causing a big YIN, as we blow the roof off, while composing the perfect murder.

Yes, it’s Murder with Too Many Notes.

Joining me to play the right notes in the wrong order, is Stephen Graham.

End theme by Noiselund.

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SMERSH HITS!: Cannonball Run II

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 14:34:48 GMT

This week we'll be on the road again, from sea to shining sea, in search of that elusive Cannonball Run2! There'll be stunts, shunts, fronts, hunts, and c*nts. As well as some very far-fetched extras.

Yes, it's Cannonball Run 2!

Joining me as my hairy co-pilot is Paul Litchfield.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 06 Aug 2023 23:05:23 GMT

They say the sea is cold, but the sea contains the hottest blood of all. This week we'll be taking a trip to whales to save the future.

Yes, It’s Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Joining me to double dumb-ass on you, is Paul Litchfield.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo - with Dan Thomas

Sun, 30 Jul 2023 23:05:52 GMT

This week we’ll be giving out all the hard stares, as we ask who shot a man, who booked this funeral, and just who hell messed with the marmalade? Yes, it’s Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo.

And joining me to look dolefully at a stiff in the rain, is Dan Thomas.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH ON SCREEN: Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 23:05:52 GMT

I caught up with D&D super-fan Paul Litchfield to chat about the new D&D film, and other things in general.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

REMO: UNARMED AND DANGEROUS with Dan Thomas and Dr. Dean Burnett

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 23:05:25 GMT

This week we’ll be saving the world, while naming ourselves after a toilet, and being trained by a Benny Hill character, yes it’s Remo: Unarmed and Dangerous (or Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins).

A sample episode of what we do on the Monday Night Movie Club over on Patreon!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BLACKBIRD (PART TWO) with Sarah Morgan and Séamas O'Reilly

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 23:05:03 GMT

This week we’ll be coming out of retirement to put a stop to something, while also possibly saving the world, and falling in love - all accomplished while carrying the cumbersome burden of a charm so disarming that no hat will be able to sit at flat angle.

Yes, it’s Blackbird.

Joining me to say Flatley my dear, we don’t river dance is Sarah Morgan and Seamas O'Reilly.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BLACKBIRD (PART ONE) with Sarah Morgan and Séamas O'Reilly

Sun, 23 Jul 2023 23:05:15 GMT

Yes, it’s Blackbird.

Joining me to say Flatley my dear, we don’t river dance is Sarah Morgan and Séamas O'Reilly.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH ON SCREEN: Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning: Part One - SPOILER CHAT

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 11:28:43 GMT

I got together with Empire's Chris Hewitt to chat all about Ethan Hunt's latest impossible task. SPOILERS AHEAD - if you haven't seen the film, come back when you do!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CARRY ON CAMPING with Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

Sun, 09 Jul 2023 23:05:24 GMT

1969. The Beatles played their last gig, Nixon was elected, man walked on the Moon, and Sid Boggle and Bernie Lugg went to a campsite to try and look at naked ladies. Yes. It's Carry on Camping.

Joining me to pay a pound, even though they should have paid the booking fee, is Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN with Ed Byrne

Sun, 02 Jul 2023 23:05:46 GMT

This week we’ll be saying hello to the 20th century, with one of the worst films of the 21st. There’ll be adventure! Epic dialogue, and hard-hitting action, and that was just the people leaving the screening. Yes, it’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

And joining me to put together the worst group of people Since the Broadmoor battle of the bands contest, is Ed Byrne!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SMERSH ON SCREEN: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - SPOILER CHAT

Sat, 01 Jul 2023 10:22:05 GMT

After coming out of the screening I had to talk to one man: Dan Thomas. So we got together on a tired-eyed Saturday morning and had a chat all about it. SPOILERS! If you haven't seen, don't listen!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HIGHLANDER (PART TWO) with John Thomson

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 23:05:32 GMT

This week we’ll be meeting for an intimate gathering with friends, where guests are encouraged to bring a their own cutlery, speak in whatever accent they fancy, and walk like an Egyptian. Yes, it’s Highlander.

And joining me to become a PRINCE OF THE UNIVERSE, though there can be only one, is John Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez Thomson.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HIGHLANDER (PART ONE) with John Thomson

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 23:05:56 GMT

And joining me to become a PRINCE OF THE UNIVERSE, though there can be only one, is John Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez Thomson.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

GOLDENEYE (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 29 May 2023 23:05:06 GMT

This week we’ll be lifting up old relics to see if there’s still life underneath, while watching someone come back from the dead, and someone else getting fucked to death. Yes, it’s Goldeneye.

Joining me to get Onatopp of things, and show us his Janus, is Dan Thomas.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

GOLDENEYE (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 28 May 2023 23:05:42 GMT

This week we’ll be lifting up old relics to see if there’s still life underneath, while watching someone come back from the dead, and someone else getting fucked to death. Yes, it’s Goldeneye.

Joining me to get Onatopp of things, and show us his Janus, is Dan Thomas.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE (PART TWO) - With Tom Crowley

Mon, 22 May 2023 23:05:15 GMT

This week we’ll be heading once again to a galaxy far, far away, to look into the past, and fill in all the details about Darth Vader when he was ten years old that literally no one cared about. Yes - It’s Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

Joining me to SITH through the damage, is Jedi master, who is here today, QUI GON tomorrow - Tom Crowley.

Special thanks to Andy Secombe for the Watto-lot-of-memories.

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STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE (PART ONE) - With Tom Crowley

Sun, 21 May 2023 23:05:34 GMT

Joining me to SITH through the damage, is Jedi master, who is here today, QUI GON tomorrow - Tom Crowley.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Sun, 14 May 2023 23:05:25 GMT

This week we’ll be entering ourselves in to a trophy in order to bring a watching bald man to fruition. Yes. It’s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Joining me to have a look at our eggs in the bath are THE SNAKE BOYS, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Swan Song - with Steve Hall

Sun, 07 May 2023 23:05:13 GMT

This week we’ll be seeing the light, making sure we have Johnny Cash for sexy parties, and deploying our white shoots in order to establish our innocence. Yes. It’s SWAN SONG.

Joining me to stash things in our logs, is comedian Steve Hall.

End theme by @noiselund

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Try and Catch Me - with Suzy Bennett

Sun, 23 Apr 2023 23:05:33 GMT

This week we’ll be looking at just what happens to someone when they’re found safe and not sound, and just what happens when Columbo meets his MATCH. Yes, it’s TRY AND CATCH ME.

Joining me to tip toe through the flower bed is comedian Suzy Bennett.

We had some sound problems that cannot be helped, but please enjoy nevertheless!

End song by the wonderful @noiselund (as well as technical audio help - thank you!)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK with Paul Litchfield

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 23:05:28 GMT

Welcome to a Star Trek side-special, as much like Peter Gabriel before us, we realise that Genesis is falling apart, and decide we need to leave before a balding man can weaponise it - yes, it’s Star Trek III - The Search for Spock.

Joining me to check for Spock in the last place we looked is Paul Litchfield.

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Now That's What I Call Smersh Pod: Vol. 2

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 17:59:06 GMT

The best of Smersh Pod 2020-2021.

This is a special episode, a bit like when a TV show hasn’t got enough material for a full season, where we’re looking back at some of the highlights of shows gone by. This time we’re going from the start of our season 4 back in September 2020 up to the end of 2021.

The difficult lockdown period, if you will. Hope you enjoy.

Many thanks to Tim Colman and Gray for doing the legwork.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Butterfly in Shades of Grey - with Dan Thomas

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 00:04:03 GMT

This week we’ll be watching someone malevolent who is doing everything in their power to ensure that first time writers don’t get an opportunity No, we’re not talking about Radio 4 comedy commissioners, but FIELDING CHASE, and his Butterfly in Shades of Grey.

Joining me to try and spot the moustache, is Dan Thomas.

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CARRY ON AT YOUR CONVENIENCE with Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 00:05:22 GMT

This week we’ll be getting them out, and trying not to get too flushed. Yes, it’s Carry on at Your Convenience.

And joining me to go ahead and make my BIDET, are Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield!

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The Bye-Bye Sky-High IQ Murder Case - with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 00:05:45 GMT

This week we’ll be spinning some discs, and ending some lives at the brain trust house. Yes, it’s The Bye-Bye Sky High IQ Murder Case.

Joining me to put his umbrella up a chimney is Paul Litchfield.

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CARRY ON EMMANNUELLE - with Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 00:25:31 GMT

This week we’ll be watching someone at the embassy spoil the ambassadors with more than just Ferrero Rocher. Yes, it’s Carry on Emmanuelle.

And joining me to get under the table and make some old men c*m, are Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield

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Now You See Him - With Paul Gannon

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 00:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll be performing some sleight of hand magic before your very eyes, in order to hide the location of a camp Nazi magician.

Joining me to wear his new coat is Paul Gannon.

End theme by @noiselund

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Any Old Port in a Storm - with Tom Crowley

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 00:05:25 GMT

This week we’ll be treading grapes with a ruthless snob, who’ll stop at nothing to ensure that he’s the only man who can like wine.

Yes, it's Any Old Port in a Storm.

Joining me to sip on a glass of liquid filth, is Tom Crowley.

End music by @Noiselund.

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The Most Crucial Game - with Dan Thomas

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 00:05:42 GMT

Welcome to Columpod - my wife's kid brother's favourite podcast about LA's greatest detective.

This week we’ll be dipping a toe into a very un-sportsman-like murder, where the victim is truly put on ice. Yes. It’s S2. Ep3. - The Most Crucial Game.

Joining me for a Ding-a-ling is Dan Thomas.

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YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES with Paul Gannon

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 00:05:00 GMT

I'm joined by Paul Gannon to talk about one of our favourite films that sadly no one cares about anymore. It gets quite rude.

Paul has his own brilliant podcast called CheapShow, that we forgot to mention, but go listen here

Have a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

Lots of love,

John

xxx

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THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL - with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 00:05:03 GMT

Merry ChristSMERSH!

Join Tom Neenan, Tom Crowley, and John Rain as they go back to Victorian London and know you better!

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SUPERGIRL (PART TWO) with Johnny Candon

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 00:05:54 GMT

This week we’ll be heading to Argo City to have a drink or two with Peter o Toole, and to find out if Superman’s cousin can save the day while he’s out. Yes, it’s Supergirl

Joining me to be bathed in soft focus and lighting, is Johnny Candon.

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SUPERGIRL (PART ONE) with Johnny Candon

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 00:05:52 GMT

This week we’ll be heading to Argo City to have a drink or two with Peter o Toole, and to find out if Superman’s cousin can save the day while he’s out. Yes, it’s Supergirl

Joining me to be bathed in soft focus and lighting, is Johnny Candon.

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STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (PART TWO) with Tom Crowley

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 00:05:42 GMT

This week we’ll be heading back to a galaxy far, far away to try and undo everything someone else did in the worst possible way. Yes it’s Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.

And somehow, Tom Crowley has returned.

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STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (PART ONE) with Tom Crowley

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 00:05:19 GMT

This week we’ll be heading back to a galaxy far, far away to try and undo everything someone else did in the worst possible way. Yes it’s Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.

And somehow, Tom Crowley has returned.

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TOP GUN: MAVERICK with Dan Thomas

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 00:06:04 GMT

Dan joins me for a chat about how much we enjoyed Tom Cruise flying about in planes.

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YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE with Terry Mynott

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 00:05:21 GMT

This week we’ll be venturing into the past; a world of cavemen, brave women, floppy dinosaurs, and as much dubbing than you can throw a rubber axe at .

Yes, it’s Yor, the Hunter from the Future.

Joining me to get don thatched boots and ill fitting wigs is comedian, actor, impressionist and singer Terry Mynott.

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AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON - LIVE! With Tom Crowley and Paul Litchfield

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 00:05:30 GMT

John is joined by Tom Crowley and Paul Litchfield, to beware the moon, and avoid the famous balloon thief.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (PART TWO) with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 00:05:20 GMT

This week we’ll be jumping back in time to find out just who has the black dog, while bewaring the moon, and trying not to get sucked off by lads in capes.

Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Joining me to catch the Knight Bus, which has sadly become a rail replacement service, are the genuine snake boys: Tom Crowley and Tom Neenan.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (PART ONE) with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 00:15:07 GMT

This week we’ll be jumping back in time to find out just who has the black dog, while bewaring the moon, and trying not to get sucked off by lads in capes.

Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Joining me to catch the Knight Bus, which has sadly become a rail replacement service, are the genuine snake boys: Tom Crowley and Tom Neenan.

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TIME BANDITS (PART TWO) with John Thomson

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 23:05:29 GMT

This week we’ll be venturing into the time of legends, to seek treasure, home appliances, and try not to get sent to the small claims court. Yes, it’s Time Bandits.

Joining me to get stinking rich, is John Thomson.

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TIME BANDITS (PART ONE) with John Thomson

Sun, 16 Oct 2022 23:05:33 GMT

This week we’ll be venturing into the time of legends, to seek treasure, home appliances, and try not to get sent to the small claims court. Yes, it’s Time Bandits.

Joining me to get stinking rich, is John Thomson.

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CARRY ON ABROAD with Paul Litchfield and Dan Thomas

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 13:44:50 GMT

This week we’ll be packing our trunks, smothering ourselves in cream, and heading to a car park covered in builders sand to see which one of us will die the youngest.

Yes, It’s Carry On Abroad.

Joining me to do blooding leapings of the frog over some mince, are a right lovely royal pair of knockers: Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.

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STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 22:20:02 GMT

To celebrate the release of Star Trek: The Motion Picture - The Director's Cut. Paul and I got together with big middle-aged man energy, and talked all about how much we love it.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (PART TWO) with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 23:05:55 GMT

This week we’ll be running away from bludgers, spiders, knives and Fawkes, as we find out just who put their long snake through a hole in the girl’s toilets. Yes, it’s Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Joining me are the original snake boys themselves, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (PART ONE) with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Sun, 28 Aug 2022 23:05:27 GMT

Joining me are the original snake boys themselves, Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley.

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QUANTUM OF SOLACE (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 23:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll be heading to Bolivia to find out just what these Greene guys are putting in the water, just who is going down to Strawberry Fields, and will they be hung?

Yes, it’s Quantum of Solace, and joining me to barely tolerate the images and sounds on offer, is comedian Dan Thomas, who I wish to apologise to now.

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QUANTUM OF SOLACE (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 23:05:05 GMT

This week we’ll be heading to Bolivia to find out just what these Greene guys are putting in the water, just who is going down to Strawberry Fields, and will they be hung?

Yes, it’s Quantum of Solace, and joining me to barely tolerate the images and sounds on offer, is comedian Dan Thomas.

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THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 23:05:30 GMT

This week we’ll be diving deep below the surface, to find out just where a runaway nuclear submarine is heading. Yes, it’s The Hunt for Red October.

Joining me to look for Crazy Ivans, is comedian and professional welshman, who has temporarily defected, Dan Thomas.

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THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 31 Jul 2022 23:05:25 GMT

This week we’ll be diving deep below the surface, to find out just where a runaway nuclear submarine is heading. Yes, it’s The Hunt for Red October.

Joining me to look for Crazy Ivans, is comedian and professional welshman, who has temporarily defected, Dan Thomas.

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STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (PART TWO) with Tom Crowley

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 23:05:01 GMT

This week we’ll be returning to a galaxy far, far away to eat a small bird, commit mutiny, refuse to help the galaxy, and follow a space ship very slowly - yes, it’s The Last Jedi

Joining me to race weird space horses is actor and host of Crowley Time, Tom Crowley.

The wonderful Crowley Time is available here

Wooden Overcoats is available here

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STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (PART ONE) with Tom Crowley

Sun, 24 Jul 2022 23:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll be returning to a galaxy far, far away to eat a small bird, commit mutiny, refuse to help the galaxy, and follow a space ship very slowly - yes, it’s The Last Jedi

Joining me to race weird space horses is actor and host of Crowley Time, Tom Crowley.

The wonderful Crowley Time is available here

Wooden Overcoats is available here

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SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE (PART TWO) with Johnny Candon

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 23:05:04 GMT

This week we’ll be hitting the mean streets of Milton Keynes to please a young boy, and find out who’s been messing with all the nuclear’s, man? Yes, it’s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Joining me to rebuild the great wall of china with our eyes, is writer Johnny Candon.

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SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE (PART ONE) with Johnny Candon

Sun, 10 Jul 2022 23:08:02 GMT

This week we’ll be hitting the mean streets of Milton Keynes to please a young boy, and find out who’s been messing with all the nuclear’s, man? Yes, it’s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Joining me to rebuild the great wall of china with our eyes, is writer Johnny Candon.

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FLASH GORDON (LIVE) with Jim Howick, Nicholas Burns and Paul Litchfield

Sun, 12 Jun 2022 23:05:42 GMT

Live from the Phoenix Cinema, East Finchley 02/06/22

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SUPERMAN III (PART TWO) with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 23:05:57 GMT

This week we’ll be hitting the mean streets of Metropolis to find out who in the PC world is mucking about with computers, and if they have Pryor convictions. YES, It’s Superman 3.

Joining me to muck about in the junkyard, and turn our coals into diamonds, is Paul Litchfield.

Come and see Superman The Movie with the Royal Philharmonic Concert as part of the Royal Albert Hall’s Films in Concert series.

Superman in Concert will see the film played in high-definition on the big screen, whilst John Williams’ triumphant original score will be conducted by Anthony Gabriele and performed by the Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra live to picture.

https://www.royalalberthall.com/tickets/events/2022/superman-in-concert/

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SUPERMAN III (PART ONE) with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 05 Jun 2022 23:05:21 GMT

This week we’ll be hitting the mean streets of Metropolis to find out who in the PC world is mucking about with computers, and if they have Pryor convictions. YES, It’s Superman 3.

Joining me to muck about in the junkyard, and turn our coals into diamonds, is Paul Litchfield.

Come and see Superman The Movie with the Royal Philharmonic Concert as part of the Royal Albert Hall’s Films in Concert series.

https://www.royalalberthall.com/tickets/events/2022/superman-in-concert/

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THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas and Dean Burnett

Mon, 16 May 2022 23:05:19 GMT

This week we’ll be a hosting a typical Turkey Christmas that starts with a traditional roast, a fine thorough stuffing, and ends with a joke about cum, yes - it’s THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH.

Joining me with their hot coals in their hands, are actual brain Doctor , Dean Burnett, and actual Professional Welshman, Dan Thomas.

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THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas and Dean Burnett

Sun, 15 May 2022 23:05:56 GMT

This week we’ll be a hosting a typical Turkey Christmas that starts with a traditional roast, a fine thorough stuffing, and ends with a joke about cum, yes - it’s THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH.

Joining me with their hot coals in their hands, are actual brain Doctor , Dean Burnett, and actual Professional Welshman, Dan Thomas.

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NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (PART TWO) with John Thomson

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 00:05:51 GMT

This week we’ll be taking things a bit easier, recuperating at a health farm, sunning ourselves in exotic places, and asking to be taken seriously as an action star, while somehow looking like a cast member from The Mikado. Yes, it’s Never Say Never Again.

Joining me to throw magic urine from elaborate jetpacks, and back by popular demand, is John Thomson!

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NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (PART ONE) with John Thomson

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 00:05:57 GMT

Joining me to throw magic urine from elaborate jetpacks, and back by popular demand, is John Thomson!

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DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (PART TWO) with John Thomson

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 00:05:15 GMT

This week we try and prove the old adage of what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas, as we witness topless women flying out of windows, Moon buggies being chased by fat bikes, frantic car chases on the strip, and a 1971 Sean Connery with his clothes off - yes, it's Diamonds are Forever.

Joining me to be Wint to my Kidd, is comedian, actor, and landlord of The Crown, John Thompson.

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DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (PART ONE) with John Thomson

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 00:05:59 GMT

Joining me to be Wint to my Kidd, is comedian, actor, and landlord of The Crown, John Thompson.

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IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE with Sarah Morgan

Fri, 24 Dec 2021 00:05:06 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Bedford Falls in order to stop a man from tossing himself off. Yes, it's It's a Wonderful Life.

Joining me to get her wings, is Sarah Morgan.

Bubble by Sarah Morgan is out now https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bubble-Jordan-Morris/dp/1250245559

'Wild, adventurous, quick-witted, and current!' -- Ryan North, How to Invent Everything

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BATMAN RETURNS with Dan Thomas

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 12:13:00 GMT

In a further Christmas special, today we'll be heading to Gotham City in order to find the three levels of comic conventions: A giant, oddly dressed man-baby, a disturbed cosplayer who seems way to into it, or a fat, smelly bloke who sh*ts himself. Yes, it's Batman Returns.

Joining me to TAKE CARE OF THE SQUEALING, WRETCHED, PINHEAD PUPPETS OF GOTHAM, is Dan Thomas.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE with Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 01:39:51 GMT

This week we'll be heading to deepest King's Cross with a large bearded man on a motorbike who tells us that we're thumping good wizards, and capable of squeezing through tight entrances via magic. Yes, it's Harry Potter and the Philisopher's Stone.

Joining me to get their wands out and wave them about, is not just one Tom, but two - messers Neenan and Crowley!

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GREMLINS with Paul Gannon

Thu, 16 Dec 2021 13:55:17 GMT

In this special Christmas episode we will be bringing home something cuddly and benign, that is actually truly awful that will ruin Christmas for everyone, and after we've watched Lembit Opik's sex tape, we'll be watching Gremlins!

Joining me to cough up a mogwai or two, is Paul Gannon.

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THE ROCKETEER (PART TWO) with Paul Gannon

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 00:05:13 GMT

This week we'll be heading back to the golden age of Hollywood, in order to give an actor's career a much needed boost, before he gets fired Yes, it's The Rocketeer.

Joining me to hold our sticks in our hands, and do this one for Ze Fatherland, is co-host of the wonderful Cheapshow podcast, Paul Gannon.

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THE ROCKETEER (PART ONE) with Paul Gannon

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 15:26:43 GMT

This week we'll be heading back to the golden age of Hollywood, in order to give an actor's career a much needed boost, before he gets fired Yes, it's The Rocketeer.

Joining me to hold our sticks in our hands, and do this one for Ze Fatherland, is co-host of the wonderful Cheapshow podcast, Paul Gannon.

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NO TIME TO DIE (PART TWO) with Chris Hewitt

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 00:05:41 GMT

This week we’ll be walking on thin ice, when it comes to spoilers (there will be spoilers), while also driving to a town of secrets and burning paper (a reminder there will be spoilers)

Joining me gradually, slowly, while riding an awkward moving jail cell, is writer, podcaster and gentleman, Chris Hewitt.

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NO TIME TO DIE (PART ONE) with Chris Hewitt

Wed, 17 Nov 2021 00:05:27 GMT

This week we’ll be walking on thin ice, when it comes to spoilers (there will be spoilers), while also driving to a town of secrets and burning paper (a reminder there will be spoilers)

Joining me gradually, slowly, while riding an awkward moving jail cell, is writer, podcaster and gentleman, Chris Hewitt.

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THE LAWNMOWER MAN (PART TWO) with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 23:05:51 GMT

We return to the future of the human brain, via VR, and armed chimps.

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THE LAWNMOWER MAN (PART ONE) with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas

Sun, 12 Sep 2021 23:05:19 GMT

This week we head to the future of virtual reality - if your future looks like an Atari ST. Yes, it's Lawnmower Man.

Joining me to arm a chimp are Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas.

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THUNDERBALL (PART TWO) with Joel Morris

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Nassau for a spot of underwater swimming (well, more than just a spot to be honest, it's sort of an odyssey), and to get down and boogie at the Disco Volante, in order to save the world from terror. Yes, it's Thunderball.

Joining me for a bit of the old 'kiss-kiss-bang-bang' at the health club, is comedy writer Joel Morris.

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THUNDERBALL (PART ONE) with Joel Morris

Sun, 18 Jul 2021 23:05:00 GMT

Joining me for a bit of the old 'kiss-kiss-bang-bang' at the health club, is comedy writer Joel Morris.

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HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be gaslighting an entire generation of Scottish immortals, and telling them they come from Space. Yes, it's Highlander II: The Quickening.

Joining me to try not to lose our heads, is Dan Thomas.

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HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 04 Jul 2021 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be gaslighting an entire generation of Scottish immortals, and telling them they come from Space. Yes, it's Highlander II: The Quickening.

Joining me to try not to lose our heads, is Dan Thomas.

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TOMORROW NEVER DIES (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be finding out if fake news, and an invisible boat, can indeed start World War 3. Yes, it's Tomorrow Never Dies.

Joining me for a night in Paris, is professional Welshman Dan Thomas.

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TOMORROW NEVER DIES (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 28 Mar 2021 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be finding out if fake news, and an invisible boat, can indeed start World War 3. Yes, it's Tomorrow Never Dies.

Joining me for a night in Paris, is professional Welshman Dan Thomas.

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YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (PART TWO) with Charlie Higson

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading far east to indulge in some oriental escapades in order to try and find out just who has been taking too many capsules. Yes, it's You Only Live Twice.

Joining me to fake our own deaths and give Dikko Henderson a wide berth, is actor, comedian, author, and former singer, Charlie Higson.

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YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (PART ONE) with Charlie Higson

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading far east to indulge in some oriental escapades in order to try and find out just who has been taking too many capsules. Yes, it's You Only Live Twice.

Joining me to fake our own deaths and give Dikko Henderson a wide berth, is actor, comedian, author, and former singer, Charlie Higson.

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RISING SUN (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading into the exciting world of international diplomacy, and discover just how you approach an international, diplomatic relation, when you're a bit of a weirdo. Yes! It's Rising Sun!

And joining me is my own personal international liaison officer, who is skilled in diplomacy, and will be teaching us just what you should, and shouldn't do, when dealing with a Welsh. Comedy sempai, Dan Thomas.

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RISING SUN (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 00:05:00 GMT

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MRS DOUBTFIRE (PART TWO) with Paul Litchfield (EPISODE 150!)

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 00:05:00 GMT

In this, the 150th EPISODE OF SMERSH POD, we'll be behaving like a weird, creepy sociopath, but with a heart of gold.

Joining me to find out just where in England, Scotland actually is, is actor and comedian Paul Litchfield.

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MRS. DOUBTFIRE (PART ONE) with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be behaving like a weird, creepy sociopath, but with a heart of gold.

Joining me to find out just where in England, Scotland actually is, is actor and comedian Paul Litchfield.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST (PART TWO) with Tilly Steele

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Slovetzia, to try and impress the President, who is a beast.

Joining me to make it up as we go along, is actor Tilly Steele.

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THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST (PART ONE) with Tilly Steele

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Slovetzia, to try and impress the President, who is a beast.

Joining me to make it up as we go along, is actor Tilly Steele.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MAMMA MIA: HERE WE GO AGAIN (PART TWO) with Sarah Morgan

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

Here we go again! This week we'll be heading to Greece to travel in time and space.

Joining me is comedy writer, and dancing queen, Sarah Morgan.

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MAMMA MIA: HERE WE GO AGAIN (PART ONE) with Sarah Morgan

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

Here we go again! This week we'll be heading to Greece to travel in time and space.

Joining me is comedy writer, and dancing queen, Sarah Morgan.

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THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (PART TWO) - With Paul Litchfield

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week: One of our submarines in missing, and we're working together with a XXX agent to find out exactly who stole all the seamen. Yes, it's THE SPY WHO LOVED ME.

And joining me to get our teeth into the mystery, is comedian, actor and medium, Paul Litchfield.

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THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (PART ONE) with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week: One of our submarines in missing, and we're working together with a XXX agent to find out exactly who stole all the seamen. Yes, it's THE SPY WHO LOVED ME.

And joining me to get our teeth into the mystery, is comedian, actor and medium, Paul Litchfield.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE PRESIDIO (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be hitting the mean streets of San Francisco to possibly solve a murder with our right thumb, while also dealing with personal baggage.

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THE PRESIDIO (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 11 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be hitting the mean streets of San Francisco to possibly solve a murder with our right thumb, while also dealing with personal baggage.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SHERLOCK HOLMES IN NEW YORK (PART TWO) with Stephen Graham

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be donning deer stalkers, and heading to New York in 1901 to solve the crime of the century(s).

Joining me to crack Moriarty's code is historian, and host of the excellent Faces of Fascism podcast, Stephen Graham.

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SHERLOCK HOLMES IN NEW YORK (PART ONE) with Stephen Graham

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be donning deer stalkers, and heading to New York in 1901 to solve the crime of the century(s).

Joining me to crack Moriarty's code is historian, and host of the excellent Faces of Fascism podcast, Stephen Graham.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

OUTLAND (PART TWO) with Mitch Benn

Tue, 29 Dec 2020 00:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be in deep space to stop a space drug ring, play some space golf, and confirm that while no one can hear you scream, they can certainly see your head exploding.

Yes, it’s Outland.

And joining me in the squash court that we have booked for high noon, is comedian, writer, musician and podcaster, Mitch Benn.

*Recorded long before the death of Sean Connery.

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OUTLAND (PART ONE) with Mitch Benn

Mon, 28 Dec 2020 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be in deep space to stop a space drug ring, play some space golf, and confirm that while no one can hear you scream, they can certainly see your head exploding.

Yes, it's Outland.

And joining me in the squash court that we have booked for high noon, is comedian, writer, musician and podcaster, Mitch Benn.

(recorded long before the death of Sean Connery)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

LICENCE TO KILL (PART TWO) with Steve Hall

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading on down Isthmus with revenge on our minds, and the villain, much like the victim, won't have a leg to stand on. Yes, it's Licence to Kill.

And joining me to throw wet pasta at armed guards, is comedian Steve Hall.

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LICENCE TO KILL (PART ONE) with Steve Hall

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 00:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading on down Isthmus with revenge on our minds, and the villain, much like the victim, won't have a leg to stand on. Yes, it's Licence to Kill.

And joining me to throw wet pasta at armed guards, is comedian Steve Hall.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE FOURTH PROTOCOL (PART TWO) with Alistair Petrie and Anthony Phillipson

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 23:04:00 GMT

This week we'll be wrapping up warm, and dipping a toe into the cold war, in order to find a bad Russian b*stard who's building a bomb. Yes, it's The Fourth Protocol.

Joining me to catch a train like a bad-ass, are actor Alistair Petrie, and director Anthony Phillipson.

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THE FOURTH PROTOCOL (PART ONE) with Alistair Petrie and Anthony Phillipson

Sun, 18 Oct 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be wrapping up warm, and dipping a toe into the cold war, in order to find a bad Russian b*stard who's building a bomb. Yes, it's The Fourth Protocol.

Joining me to catch a train like a bad-ass, are actor Alistair Petrie, and director Anthony Phillipson.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (PART TWO) with Neil Forsyth

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Istanbul to sleep with as many women as possible on behalf of Queen and country, while also retrieving a lector and foiling SPECTRE. Yes, it's From Russia With Love.

Joining me to sit and watch two half-naked women wrestle, is writer supreme Neil Forsyth.

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FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (PART ONE) with Neil Forsyth

Sun, 11 Oct 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Istanbul to sleep with as many women as possible on behalf of Queen and country, while also retrieving a lector and foiling SPECTRE. Yes, it's From Russia With Love.

Joining me to sit and watch two half-naked women wrestle, is writer supreme Neil Forsyth.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (PART TWO) with Michael Spicer

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be using a computer to hunt for the world's greatest detective, utilising the world's worst EVERYTHING. Yes, it's Curse of the Pink Panther.

Joining me to fall over a lot, look confused and feel awkward, live from his Room Next Door, is Michael Spicer.

Buy his book now!

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CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (PART ONE) with Michael Spicer

Sun, 04 Oct 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be using a computer to hunt for the world's greatest detective, utilising the world's worst EVERYTHING. Yes, it's Curse of the Pink Panther.

Joining me to fall over a lot, look confused and feel awkward, live from his Room Next Door, is Michael Spicer.

Buy his book now!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

DR. NO (PART TWO) with Mark O'Connell

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Jamaica (of our own accord), to battle spiders, fight dragons, and try and stop a man who DOES take No for an answer.

Joining me to crush golden statues to prove our virility and strength, is writer, author & Bond fan, Mark O'Connell.

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DR. NO (PART ONE) with Mark O'Connell

Sun, 27 Sep 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Jamaica (of our own accord), to battle spiders, fight dragons, and try and stop a man who DOES take No for an answer.

Joining me to crush golden statues to prove our virility and strength, is writer, author & Bond fan, Mark O'Connell.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE ROCK (PART TWO) with Séamas O'Reilly

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be attempting the impossible: to enjoy a Michael Bay film, and escape from THE ROCK

Joining me to whine about doing his best is writer and chemical super-freak, Séamas O'Reilly.

(recorded not long into lockdown, so sound quality isn't as great as I was still getting used to gear!)

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THE ROCK (PART ONE) with Séamas O'Reilly

Sun, 19 Jul 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be attempting the impossible: to enjoy a Michael Bay film, and escape from THE ROCK

Joining me to whine about doing his best is writer and chemical super-freak, Séamas O'Reilly.

(recorded not long into lockdown, so sound quality isn't as great as I was still getting used to gear!)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SPECTRE (PART TWO) with David K. Barnes

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we FINALLY get the answers to the questions no one actually asked. Just who is behind the scenes pulling all the strings? What connects the Craig-a-verse? Can you phone in an entire film, and how did that song win an Oscar. Yes, it’s Spectre!

Joining me to inject some smart blood is writer for stage, screen, and audio - and Creator of sitcom Wooden Overcoats, David K. Barnes.

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SPECTRE (PART ONE) with David K. Barnes

Sun, 12 Jul 2020 23:05:00 GMT

Joining me to inject some smart blood is writer for stage, screen, and audio - and Creator of sitcom Wooden Overcoats, David K. Barnes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE AVENGERS (PART TWO) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be chatting about the weather, picnicking with teddy bears, serving tea and macaroons on a London bus, and having a slice of massive turkey. Yes, it's The Avengers.

And joining me to take ten inches overnight, is comedian and Welsh man Dan Thomas.

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THE AVENGERS (PART ONE) with Dan Thomas

Sun, 05 Jul 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be chatting about the weather, picnicking with teddy bears, serving tea and macaroons on a London bus, and having a slice of massive turkey. Yes, it's The Avengers.

And joining me to take ten inches overnight, is comedian and Welsh man Dan Thomas.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MOONRAKER (PART TWO) with Sanjeev Kohli

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we head to space with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.

Joining me for a cucumber sandwich, is comedian, actor and writer Sanjeev Kohli.

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MOONRAKER (PART ONE) with Sanjeev Kohli

Sun, 28 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we head to space with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.

Joining me for a cucumber sandwich, is comedian, actor and writer Sanjeev Kohli.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

THE UNTOUCHABLES (PART TWO) with Chris Hewitt

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we journey to 1930s Chicago to get Al Capone, while all time trying not to drink, sound too Irish, or be touched - Yes! It's The Untouchables.

Joining me is writer and owner of the best Sean Connery anecdote in the world; Chris Hewitt.

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THE UNTOUCHABLES (PART ONE) with Chris Hewitt

Sun, 21 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we journey to 1930s Chicago to get Al Capone, while all time trying not to drink, sound too Irish, or be touched - Yes! It's The Untouchables.

Joining me is writer and owner of the best Sean Connery anecdote in the world; Chris Hewitt.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SKYFALL (PART TWO) with Tom Neenan

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be trying to think on our sins, think about retirement planning, contemplate backing up our hard drives, and think about leaving our M at home. Yes, it's SKYFALL.

Joining me to eat some rats in a barrel is comedian and writer Tom Neenan.

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SKYFALL (PART ONE) with Tom Neenan

Sun, 14 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be trying to think on our sins, think about retirement planning, contemplate backing up our hard drives, and think about leaving our M at home. Yes, it's SKYFALL.

Joining me to eat some rats in a barrel is comedian and writer Tom Neenan.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MAMMA MIA! (PART TWO) with Sarah Morgan

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to the island, for a wedding and many, many funerals.

Joining me to put some songs in a smiling headlock is comedy writer Sarah Morgan

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MAMMA MIA! (PART ONE) with Sarah Morgan

Sun, 07 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to the island, for a wedding and many, many funerals.

Joining me to put some songs in a smiling headlock is comedy writer Sarah Morgan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

LIVE AND LET DIE (PART TWO) with JIM HOWICK

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week, if we play our cards right, we'll be taking a trip to New York, to take in the sights, the sounds and the VOODOO. Yes, it's Live and Let Die.

And joining me for a bourbon in the corner booth or the Fillet of Soul, is actor and writer Jim Howick.

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LIVE AND LET DIE (PART ONE) with JIM HOWICK

Sun, 31 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week, if we play our cards right, we'll be taking a trip to New York, to take in the sights, the sounds and the VOODOO. Yes, it's Live and Let Die.

And joining me for a bourbon in the corner booth or the Fillet of Soul, is actor and writer Jim Howick.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (part two) with Tom Crowley

Mon, 25 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be travelling to a galaxy far, far away to look for a lost map, a lost droid, and try and understand why, ultimately, we actually bothered. YES - it's STAR WARS EPISODE 7: THE FORCE AWAKENS

And joining me to anger Reddit, is comedy writer, actor, and host of the excellent "Crowley Time", Tom Crowley!

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STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (part one) with Tom Crowley

Sun, 24 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

And joining me to anger Reddit, is comedy writer, actor, and host of the wonderful "Crowley Time", Tom Crowley.

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THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (part two) with Mark Gatiss

Mon, 18 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be stocking up on Nick-Nacks, while supping Phoo-Yuck as we travel to the Far East with a bullet, to try and find just who is making an extra tit out of themselves for a million dollars a hit.

Joining me tin virtual isolation to speak now, or forever hold his piece, it's only bloody Mark Gatiss!

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THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (part one) with Mark Gatiss

Sun, 17 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

Joining me tin virtual isolation to speak now, or forever hold his piece, it's only bloody Mark Gatiss!

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THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING (Part two) with Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie

Mon, 11 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we be travelling to Kafiristan, to see the sights, the polo, the sounds and maybe even take the whole place over. Yes, it’s The Man Who Would Be King.

Joining me to perform Masonic rituals, are actors Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie.

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THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING (Part one) with Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie

Sun, 10 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we be travelling to Kafiristan, to see the sights, the polo, the sounds and maybe even take the whole place over. Yes, it’s The Man Who Would Be King.

Joining me to perform Masonic rituals, are actors Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie.

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THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (Part two) with Samira Ahmed

Mon, 04 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be learning to identify one end of a cello from another, while having a few optional extras installed at the height of the cold war.

Yes – It’s The Living Daylights, and joining me to Smiert some Spionum, is journalist, broadcaster, and QUEEN, Samira Ahmed, who can be found on Twitter as @SamiraAhmedUk

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THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (Part one) with Samira Ahmed

Sun, 03 May 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be learning to identify one end of a cello from another, while having a few optional extras installed at the height of the cold war.

Yes – It’s The Living Daylights, and joining me to Smiert some Spionum, is journalist, broadcaster, and QUEEN, Samira Ahmed, who can be found on Twitter as @SamiraAhmedUk

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (PART TWO) with Rosie Holt

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be talking about LOVE - well, arranged love for financial gains - and we'll have all the time in the world to chat about it - well, not literally.

Yes – It’s OHMSS, and joining me to flick through a dirty magazine while we wait for a safe to crack, is comedy actor Rosie Holt, who can be found on Twitter as @RosieisaHolt

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ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (PART ONE) with Rosie Holt

Sun, 26 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be talking about LOVE - well, arranged love for financial gains - and we'll have all the time in the world to chat about it - well, not literally.

Yes – It’s OHMSS, and joining me to flick through a dirty magazine while we wait for a safe to crack, is comedy actor Rosie Holt, who can be found on Twitter as @RosieisaHolt

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

OCTOPUSSY (PART TWO) with Dan Tetsell

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be flying out of a pretend horse’s arse, stealing jewellery from angry Shakespearian actors, and leading an army of half-naked women – while respecting thier agency.

Yes – It’s OCTOPUSSY, and joining me to go to work on an egg, is comedy actor Dan Tetsell, who can be found on Twitter as @Tetsell

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OCTOPUSSY (PART ONE) with Dan Tetsell

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we’ll be flying out of a pretend horse’s arse, stealing jewellery from angry Shakespearean actors, and leading an army of half-naked women – while respecting their agency.

Yes – It’s OCTOPUSSY, and joining me to go to work on an egg, is comedy actor Dan Tetsell, who can be found on Twitter as @Tetsell

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Goldfinger (Part Two) with Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be activating operation grand slam, as we throw our hats into the golden ring to chat about GOLDFINGER.

And joining me to hang around in, frankly too small, romper suits are a pair of the smoothest, suavest gentlemen actors you're likely to find at this time of the day anywhere in the world - Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie.

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Goldfinger (Part One) with Rufus Wright and Alistair Petrie.

Sun, 12 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

This week we'll be activating operation grand slam, as we throw our hats into the golden ring to chat about GOLDFINGER.

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A View to a Kill (Part Two) with Dan Thomas

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

John is joined by Professional Welshman and comedian Dan Thomas to take a look at Roger's last Bond adventure. Part Two.

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A View to a Kill (Part One) with Dan Thomas.

Sun, 05 Apr 2020 23:05:00 GMT

John is joined by Professional Welshman and comedian Dan Thomas to take a look at Roger's last Bond adventure. Part One.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For Your Eyes Only (PART TWO) with Paul Litchfield

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 00:05:00 GMT

In part two of this episode, John is joined by Paul Litchfield to look through For Your Eyes Only while minesweeping, and escaping the attention of under-aged women.

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For Your Eyes Only (PART ONE) with Paul Litchfield

Sun, 22 Mar 2020 00:05:00 GMT

Welcome to the Isolation specials! John is joined by Paul Litchfield to look through For Your Eyes Only while minesweeping, and escaping the attention of under-aged women. (PART ONE OF TWO)

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Cannonball Run 2 with Paul Litchfield

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be on the road again, from sea to shining sea, in search of that elusive Cannonball Run 2! There'll be stunts, shunts, fronts, hunts, and c*nts. As well as some very far-fetched extras.

Joining me to be my hairy co-pilot is comedian, actor and medium, Paul Litchfield.

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American Ninja with Robert Thorogood

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be talking about a humble US Army private with legendary skills of deadly stealth, as he takes on the fearsome Black Ninja, and tries to conquer basic acting skills. Yes, it's AMERICAN NINJA. Joining me to accidentally hit ourselves in the groin with nunchucks is screenwriter, and the creator of the massively successful and beloved Death in Paradise, Robert Thorogood - @robthor

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Death Wish 3 with Steve Hall

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 09:45:00 GMT

This week we'll be visiting an old war buddy, getting people murdered, murdering people, and buying weapons via the post that also murder people. Yes, it's DEATH WISH 3 - and joining me to stamp on some roaches, is comedian Steve Hall who can be found on Twitter as @astevehall

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Lethal Weapon with Samira Ahmed

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be following the wacky adventures of two newly paired cops who are complete opposites must put aside their differences in order to catch a gang of drug smugglers. Yes, it's Lethal Weapon!

Joining me to count down the days until retirement is journalist and broadcaster Samira Ahmed, who can be found on Twitter as @samiraahmeduk

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Biggles: Adventures In Time with Dan Thomas

Fri, 26 Jul 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be donning our goggles, jumping in our kite, and going to heaven and back while fighting those damned Jerries - but because this is the 1980s, we will also be jumping back and forth in time and being American. Yes - it's BIGGLES: ADVENTURES IN TIME.

Joining me to wanna be a hero, is comedian and welsh man, Dan Thomas, who can be found on twitter as @Danthomascomedy

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Aliens with Neil Forsyth

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 02:00:58 GMT

This week we'll be heading to SPACE with a bunch of marines to rescue a group of colonists from some deadly ALIENS! Spoiler alert, it doesn't go very well. Yes, it's ALIENS!

Joining me to crawl through a tiny tunnel in a terrifying way is writer extraordinaire, Neil Forsyth, who can be found on Twitter as @mrneilforsyth

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Top Gun with Rufus Wright

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be popping on some aviator sunglasses, strapping on some jorts, and trying not to wash out or get Goosed. Yes, it's TOP GUN.

Joining me to be my uptight wing man who eventually approves of my methods is legendary actor Rufus Wright.

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COBRA with Joel Morris

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be donning a pair of tight jeans, shiny sunglasses and investigating a crazed maniac who wants to punish the weak, no it's not the Ian Duncan Smith, it's The NIGHT SLASHER, and there's only one man who can stop him. Yes, it's COBRA.

And joining me to find a cure for what ails you, is comedy writer Joel Morris, who can be found on twitter as @gralefrit

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Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade with Tom Neenan

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be joining the master of adventure, and his Dad, as they seek the holy grail of holy grails, which is literally the holy grail. There'll be thrills, spills and punching Nazis without feeling the need to justify it.

Joining me to mail this to the Marx brothers is comedian Tom Neenan

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Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome with Sarah Morgan and William Andrews

Fri, 21 Jun 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be heading to Barter-Town to do some rough trading with a lady who's not for Tina Turner-ing. There'll be pigs, wigs and bellyaches, until we find out who actually runs the place. Yes, it's MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME.

Joining me to enter the Thunderdome is a Master AND Blaster of my very own, comedy writer Sarah Morgan, and comedian William Andrews.

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They Live with John-Luke Roberts

Fri, 14 Jun 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be talking about a drifter who discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth. No, it's not DAVID ICKE THE MOVIE, it's John Carpenter's THEY LIVE.

Joining me to chew some bubblegum is comedian John-Luke Roberts who can be found on Twitter as @jlukeroberts.

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Rambo III with Oliver Maltman and David Crow

Fri, 07 Jun 2019 02:00:00 GMT

Hello and welcome to Smersh Pod 3. The podcast that re-lights the fire of 80s action movies, and celebrates the decade where the explosion was king.

This week we'll be a waging one-man war to rescue our elderly friend from the clutches of the formidable invading Soviet forces in Afghanistan, and their most generic Colonel. Yes, it's RAMBO III.

Joining me to wave a blue light about are two comedy freedom fighters: Oliver Maltman and David Crow.

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Romancing The Stone with Julia Raeside

Fri, 31 May 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be talking about a mousy romance novelist who sets off for Colombia to ransom her kidnapped sister, and soon finds herself in the middle of a dangerous adventure hunting for treasure with a mercenary rogue. Yes - It's Romancing the Stone.

Joining me to try and make it snappy, is writer, broadcaster and mayor of Tarrant via her excellent podcast Always There, Julia Raeside, who can be found on Twitter as @JNRAESIDE.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Running Man with Paul Litchfield

Fri, 24 May 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be talking about a crazy version of the future where a mad, weird bastard is in charge of America and uses the TV to make shit up. Weird eh? Well, luckily it's not true, it's all a film called THE RUNNING MAN.

Joining me in Mick Fleetwood's underground army is comedy actor Paul Litchfield, who can be found on Twitter as @mrplitchfield.

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When Lions Roared

Fri, 01 Feb 2019 03:00:00 GMT

This week we'll be going back to World War 2 and joining Winston, Franklin and Uncle Joe as they plot to save the world from the very worst people that have ever walked the Earth, well, before Instagram influencers came along, anyway. Yes - it's World War II: When Lions Roared.

Joining me to puff away on a big cigar is World War 2 expert, Whovian and returning Smersh Pod guest Stephen Graham, who can be found on Twitter as @plopgazette

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Cars 2

Fri, 28 Dec 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we will be anthropomorphized as automobiles and jetsetting around the world on Spy-missions inside living planes to sell toys. Yes, it’s Cars 2. Joining me to try and think about how it could all possibly work, is comedy producer Ed Morrish, who can be found on Twitter as @edmorrish

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The Muppet Christmas Carol

Fri, 21 Dec 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we will be grabbing some humbugs, changing our miserable ways, and putting our hands up a frog, yes, it's The Muppet Christmas Carol! Joining me to get into the SPIRIT, is comedy writer, and Muppet super-fan, Sarah Morgan, and top actor, voice over champion, and STAR OF THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL - STEVEN MACKINTOSH!

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The Eagle Has Landed

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we will be heading to STUDLEY, for a trip in the country to take in the sights, enjoy the sounds, AND KIDNAP VINSTON CHURCHILL. YES, it’s The Eagle Has Landed. Joining me to brush up on his OIRISH, and indeed Jenny Agutter, is comedy writer Mark Evans.

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Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

Fri, 07 Dec 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we will caught between a Rock and a hard place, looking for an old man, and fighting cartoon monsters. Yes - it’s Journey 2: The Mysterious Island.

Joining me to climb aboard a bee is comedian Rosie Holt, who can be found on Twitter as @RosieisaHolt.

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Without A Clue

Fri, 30 Nov 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we be donning our deerstalkers, polishing our magnifying glasses, and giving a full treatment of the sleuthing routine - yes, it’s Without a Clue. Joining me to hunt down the dreaded Arty Morty, is comedian Paul Litchfield, Who can be found on Twitter as @mrplitchfield - and a very special secret guest.

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Hannah And Her Sisters

Fri, 23 Nov 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we will exploring vast neuroses, embracing inner monologues, and turning down the jazz. Yes, it’s Hannah and her Sisters. Joining me to try on a mid-life crisis, is author and gentlemen, Jason Sinclair, who can be found on Twitter as @jlsinc.

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Alfie

Fri, 16 Nov 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we be heading to swinging London to have a deep bathe in sweet misogyny. They’ll be laughs, tears, grime and charm, of a sort. Yes, it’s Alfie.

Joining me to ask “what’s it all about”, is journalist, writer and broadcaster, Samira Ahmed, Who can be found on Twitter as @SamiraAhmedUK

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The Swarm

Fri, 09 Nov 2018 00:00:00 GMT

This week we will BEE hiding the honey, hallucinating like crazy, and running for our lives in delightful pant-suits, yes it’s The Swarm.

Joining me to try and form a hive mind, is comedy legend Rowland Rivron, who can be found on Twitter as @rowlandrivron.

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Little Voice

Fri, 02 Nov 2018 03:00:00 GMT

This week we will be heading on down to Mr. Boos’ night club, to see a bird or two, hear a song be sung, and see some good nipples. Yes - it’s Little Voice.

Joining John to distribute the reading matter Is comedian Eleanor Morton, who can be found on Twitter as @eleanormorton.

This podcast is a member of the Great Big Owl family.

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Halloween Special: Rawhead Rex

Wed, 31 Oct 2018 03:00:04 GMT

Welcome to a spooky side special of Smersh!

With it being Halloween, all usual rules are off of the table. Abandon all hope ye who enter here!

This week we will be visiting the spookiest place on earth, Ireland, to run for our lives from RAWHEAD REX.

This podcast is a member of the Great Big Owl family.

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Jack The Ripper

Fri, 26 Oct 2018 02:00:00 GMT

This week we're heading to Victorian Whitechapel, so grab your sharpest surgeon's knife and stuff a piece of ginny kidney in your pocket as Michael Caine makes his triumphant television return in 1988's Jack The Ripper.

Joining me - and wouldn't you? - is comedy writer and host of the superb Wrestle Me! podcast, Marc Haynes who can be found on Twitter as @marchaynes.

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Zulu

Fri, 19 Oct 2018 02:00:00 GMT

This week we will be heading to South Africa to build bridges, lose a tenor and get drunk with Jack Hawkins. It promises to be very a BOER-ing time.

Joining me to practice his psalms is actor, writer and bloke off of the telly, Tony Way, who can be found on Twitter as @tonypaulway.

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Get Carter

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Welcome to Smersh Pod 2: The Caine Scrutiny, a podcast celebrating the vast oeuvre of Michael Caine.

To kick off the new series, John is joined by Ali Catterall and Paul Putner as they examine Jack's return home in the classic "Get Carter". There'll be fights, nudity, exercising, shooters, car chases, but no spewing on the goldfish.

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Side Special: The Great Escape LIVE with Al Murray

Fri, 05 Oct 2018 02:00:00 GMT

For this special live episode (direct from the London Podcast Festival), John is joined by special guest Al Murray, as they try and find the pin, and leap the fence of classic war caper The Great Escape.

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SMERSHPOD : The Best Of

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 02:00:00 GMT

As Smersh HQ are all away on holiday, we thought it might be quite nice to put together some highlights from series 1 to tide you over.

See you soon for series 2!

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24: Spectre

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Episode 24 brings us the answers to the questions no one really asked. Just who is behind the scenes pulling all the strings? What connects the Craig-a-verse? Can you phone in an entire film? And can we pretend we didn’t make this one? Yes, it’s Spectre! Joining me to draw some smart blood are stars of The Football Ramble and the Luke and Pete Show, Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson, who can found on Twitter as @LukeAaronMoore and @PeteDonaldson, respectively.

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Side Special: Nomads

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's the last Side Special of the series! This week we are tackling the awful problem of homeless ghosts that are plaguing communities. Can we help them by hitting them and swearing at them in French? Let's find out. Yes - it's Nomads! Joining John to take erotic photographs and do the best French accent ever, is author of the amazing Mr. Gum books, as well as many others, Andy Stanton.

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Side Special: Mission Impossible

Wed, 18 Jul 2018 02:00:00 GMT

To celebrate the release of Mission: Impossible Fallout, John got together with Empire magazine's Chris Hewitt to chat about the Mission Impossible franchise. This message will not self-destruct in minutes.

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Side Special: Escape To Athena

Fri, 13 Jul 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's Side Special time again, and this week we'll be fighting the Nazis by way of Time Team and X-Factor - yes, it's Escape to Athena.

Joining John to to find out just how much a Greek earns, is comedy writer Andy Riley, who can be found on Twitter as @AndyRileyish

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Side Special: Hell Drivers

Fri, 06 Jul 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's side special time again and this week we'll be driving like bloody maniacs, smoking roll-ups and flouting European Union Health and Safety laws while wearing donkey jackets. Yes - it's Hell Drivers.

And joining John to "do it for Geno, ah?" (and back by popular demand), is broadcaster and journalist Samira Ahmed, who can be found on Twitter as @SamiraAhmedUK

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Side Special: Shout At The Devil

Fri, 29 Jun 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's Side Special time again, and this week we explore the sights and sounds of beautiful Zanzibar, while also drinking heavily and sending a bill to the German authorities - Yes! It's Shout at the Devil.

Joining John to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage is senior associate editor of Mojo, and freelance arts journalist Andrew Male, who can be found on Twitter as @Andr6wmale

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Side Special: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang LIVE from Craft of Comedy 2018

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Live from the 2018 Craft of Comedy conference (16/06/18), join John and Emmy-award winning writer David Quantick as they take a look under the bonnet of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

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Side Special: Death Line

Fri, 15 Jun 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's side special time again, and this week we'll be visiting London for a trip on a the tube, a drink on the house, and a bite to eat - WITH A CANNIBAL - yes, it's Death Line, and joining me to MIIIND THE DOORS is comedian Steve Hall, who can be found on Twitter as @astevehall

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Side Special: Fire, Ice & Dynamite

Fri, 08 Jun 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's Side Special time again, and this week we'll be getting our skis on and heading out for a right, royal night on the piste - yes! It's Fire, Ice and Dynamite! Joining John to slope around with Roger Moore's cash is comedy writer Sarah Morgan, who can be found on Twitter as @sarahlmorgan.

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Side Special: Bullseye LIVE!

Fri, 01 Jun 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Smersh Live!! They said it couldn't be done! They said it wouldn't be done! They said they weren't arsed! Yet they still came to the Everyman Cinema, Kings Cross to watch Michael Winner's 1990 opus Bullseye! and enjoy a live podcast! Yes, it's a film we covered before, but it sure made for a great screening, and everyone who attended will almost certainly never be the same again. Joining John were Paul Litchfield and David Reed, who can be found on Twitter as @MrPLitchfield and @MrDavidReed respectively

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Side Special: Medicine Man

Fri, 25 May 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's side special time again, and this week we'll be welcoming you to the jungle, for fun and games, and rodents and names. Yes - it's Medicine Man, and joining John to look for her purse or car keys, is comedy actor Margaret Cabourn Smith, who can be found on Twitter as @mcabournsmith

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Smersh Side Special: Cannonball Run

Fri, 18 May 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It’s Side Special time again, and this week we will be laughing at the lighter side of kidnapping and finding out just what would happen if One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest was a road movie - yes - it’s The Cannonball Run. Joining me, and HIM, to sort the fathers from the mothers is superb comedian, writer and actor Paul Litchfield, who can be found on Twitter as @MrPLitchfield

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Smersh Side Special: The Sea Wolves

Fri, 11 May 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Just what would happen if a crack team of slow old, flammable, red men stole a very slow old boat? Entertainment galore, that's what (and punctured orifices, sadly)! Joining John in the Funkraum is comedy actor Oliver Maltman, who can be found on Twitter as @olivermaltman

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Smersh Side Special: Wild Geese 2

Fri, 04 May 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It’s Side Special time again, and this week we're putting together a crack team of moody middle aged men to spring an OAP with vast eyebrows from the world's most secure prison/building site. Yes - it's only bloody WILD GEESE 2! And joining my crack team of commandLOLS to fix another fine HESS we've gotten into are a right pair of jokers (comedians): Al Murray, who can be found on twitter as @almurray, and Simon Evans, who can be located as @TheSimonEvans

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Smersh Side Special: Highlander

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 08:14:36 GMT

“HIGHLANDER! Ahh-ah! He’ll save every one of us!” Sorry, wrong theme tune. It’s the film about the immortal Scottish swordsman battling the last of his immortal opponents, with help from Sean Connery as the chief metallurgist to King Charles V of Spain (or is it Egypt?) It’s a grand epic so rich in pseudo-historical nonsense that only an ACTUAL HISTORIAN could do it justice. So joining John to cut off your head is Greg Jenner, who can be found on Twitter as @greg_jenner.

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Side Special - Sextette

Fri, 20 Apr 2018 02:00:00 GMT

John is joined by Guardian TV writer Julia Raeside to watch Timothy "Bond James Bond" Dalton gamely feign desire for 1,000,000 year old Mae West in the "saucy" "musical" "comedy" Sextette. "Why don't you come up and see it some time?" Why? Because it's batshit insane.

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23. Skyfall

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 02:00:00 GMT

This time it's personal, again, as Daniel Craig's grumpy spy takes on the bloke from No Country For Old Men, using only an Aston Martin he absolutely definitely shouldn't own and an old DVD of Home Alone (for survival tips). John Rain is joined by Robin Ince (The Infinite Monkey Cage) - who can be found on Twitter as @robinince - to discuss the 23rd Bond, and possibly duet on Adele's biggest hit about apple crumble.

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Smersh Side Special: Taffin

Fri, 06 Apr 2018 02:00:00 GMT

"Then maybe you shouldn't be living heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrre!" John Rain tackles the 1988 film starring Bronhom - the man who would be Bond (and then was Bond, so don't cry) - with the man who gave Taffin a second chance at life. It's Dr Buckles himself, the Emperor of Podland Adam Buxton, who can be found on Twitter as @AdamBuxton.

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Smersh Side Special: Never Say Never Again

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:35:38 GMT

This week I am joined by broadcaster, writer and journalist Samira Ahmed to discuss the adventures of an elderly painted man. You can find Samira on Twitter: @samiraahmeduk

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13. Octopussy

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:33:21 GMT

This week I am joined by comedian Glenn Moore.

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12. For Your Eyes Only

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:33:02 GMT

This week my special guest is comedy writer Eddie Robson.

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11. Moonraker

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:32:39 GMT

My special guest this week is the comedian, writer, landlord and Big Brother Alan, Al Murray.

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10. The Spy Who Loved Me

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:32:21 GMT

My special guest this week is the playwright Dan Reballato.

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9. The Man With The Golden Gun

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:31:46 GMT

My special guest this week is the comedy writer, author, and all round Twitter BEHEMOTH Aaron Gillies, who can be found on Twitter as @techicallyron.

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8. Live And Let Die

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:31:29 GMT

My special guest this week is the very funny Daily Mash writer Nick Pettigrew, who can be found on Twitter as @nick_pettigrew

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7. Diamonds Are Forever

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:31:02 GMT

My special guest this week is all round writer, author and the David Niven we deserve, Jason Sinclair, who can be found on Twitter as @jlsinc.

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5. You Only Live Twice

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:30:33 GMT

My special guest this week is excellent scientist extraordinaire @scientits

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6. On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:30:09 GMT

My special guest this week is all round amazing British television, radio and film writer Sarah Phelps, who can be found on Twitter as @phelpsiesarah.

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4. Thunderball

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:29:32 GMT

My special guest this week is Martin Fitzgerald, AKA @4hundredblows, the genius behind the fantastic @ramalbumclub and the fiendishly excellent @ramjfkclub

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3. Goldfinger

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:29:02 GMT

This week I am joined by @flying_inside - the very funny man behind @galactickeegan

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2. From Russia With Love

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 10:28:45 GMT

My special guest this week is brilliant TV and film critic @paulwhitelaw

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1. Dr. No

Sat, 31 Mar 2018 22:30:10 GMT

Welcome to SMERSH POD, a podcast celebrating all the Bond films by those who enjoy/hate/aren’t arsed about them, hosted by me, John Rain.

We will be delving deeply into Bond, tackling a different film each episode with an exciting guest by my side.

My special guest this week is all round excellent Twitter reluctant meme generator Ern Malley, who can be found as @geoffshadbold.

Let’s Dr. some NO.

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Smersh Side Special: The Long Good Friday

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

John Rain? With Ali Catterall? And Paul Putner? Tch. This used to be a nice street, this. Decent families. No scum. BABABA BA BA BABABA BA BA BABBA BA BA BA BABBA BA!

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Smersh Side Special: Zardoz

Fri, 16 Mar 2018 03:00:00 GMT

It’s side special time again, and do you fancy something unpretentious and easy-going? Well, bad news - it's ZARDOZ! AND IN THE END ZARDOZ RE-CREATED MAN! Joining John to refuse to move to the second level no matter how much you waggle your hands are the acclaimed comedy writers of Charlie Brooker's News Wipe, Philomena Cunk and the Ladybird Books For Grown-Ups - Jason Hazeley (on Twitter as @JasonHazeley) and Joel Morris (@gralefrit)!

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22. Quantum of Solace

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 03:00:00 GMT

Some call it the greatest Bond of all. Those people are both incredibly small in number and obviously mad. Here comes Daniel Craig's second outing, Quantum of Solace (2008). Joining John to check into an eco-hotel and drown in a barrel of crude oil is actor and comedian Alison Ward, who can be found on Twitter as @ItsAlisonWard.

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Smersh Side Special: Meteor

Sat, 17 Feb 2018 09:28:34 GMT

It’s side special time again, and what sounds more fun than a 1970s sci-fi disaster movie starring a grumpy Sean Connery, co-financed by American and Hong Kong backers, which flopped at the box office? Not much. Joining John to avoid being crushed under a lump of slow-moving rock is actor and writer Dan Tetsell, who can be found on Twitter as @tetsell.

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21. Casino Royale

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 03:00:00 GMT

If you're a fan of reboots, blonde Bonds and actors who quickly get a bit arsey about the chore of having to play 007 - then rejoice! It's time for Casino Royale (2006). Joining John fully-clothed in the shower to discuss Daniel Craig's debut is actor and comedian Bilal Zafar, who can be found on Twitter as @zafarcakes.

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Smersh Side Special: Spiceworld The Movie

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 03:00:00 GMT

It’s side special time again, and it's one that nearly no-one's been waiting for: 1997's Spiceworld The Movie! Stick on your Union Jack platform boots, hide all the BAFTAs, and prepare to mercilessly cash-in as the Spice Girls - Sporty, Scary, Fangy, Boycie and Maureen (citation needed) - take us on a wild bus-ride back to the glorious 1990s. Joining John to endure 93 minutes of Girl Power and film-making ineptitude is writer and compulsive swearer Marc Haynes, who can be found on Twitter as @marchaynes.

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20. Die Another Day

Fri, 05 Jan 2018 03:00:00 GMT

It's time to bid bye-bye to Brosnan with the undignified 20th outing of a man it's hard to even see as a spy any more. In fact it's hard to see him at all, because he's in an invisible car. Defending the indefensible is BAFTA-winning comedy writer, Ladybird-bookwright and putter of stupid words in the mouth of Philomena Cunk, Joel Morris, who's on twitter as @gralefrit.

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Christsmersh Special 3: Jaws The Revenge

Sun, 24 Dec 2017 03:00:00 GMT

Cover your eyes with tinsel and and make sure you have an emergency bottle of brandy nearby: it's the last of three Christmas Smershpod specials! Joining John to sink their teeth into Jaws The Revenge like two demented and unrealistic sharks are two brilliant comedy writer/performers: Paul Litchfield and David Reed (host of the excellent Inside The Comedian podcast). Find them on Twitter as @MrPLitchfield and @MrDavidReed.

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Christsmersh Special 2: Santa Claus The Movie

Sat, 23 Dec 2017 03:00:00 GMT

Stuff six clementines in your mouth and down a pint of eggnog: it's the second of three Christmas Smershpod specials! Sit astride your robot reindeer (which isn't called Rudolf, he's not in this film for some reason) for a never-ending eternal night-flight through 1985's Santa Claus: The Movie. To discuss all things festive and flawed, John is joined by celebrated TV writer and Smershpod fave Nat Tapley, who is on Twitter as @Natt.

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Christsmersh Special 1: Love Actually

Fri, 22 Dec 2017 03:00:00 GMT

Grab a massive glass of Advocaat, down it in one and then pour another: it's the first of three Christmas Smershpod specials! Kicking us off, it's Richard Curtis's 2003 romantic-comedy Love Actually. Following her storming appearance on The Living Daylights episode of Smershpod, John is joined by the thoroughly brilliant Guardian TV critic Julia Raeside, who can be found on Twitter as @jnraeside.

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19. The World Is Not Enough

Fri, 08 Dec 2017 03:00:11 GMT

The World Is Not Enough - the nineteenth Bond film, the third outing for Pierce Brosnan, and the single worst innuendo in the entire series. Joining John to ram the fishing boat of conversation through the restaurant of your ears is the broadcaster, writer and all-round scaramouche Jon Holmes, who can be found on Twitter as @jonholmes1.

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Smersh Side Special: North Sea Hijack

Fri, 24 Nov 2017 08:46:10 GMT

Side Special time again, and it’s one of the most requested! Roger Moore’s Scotch-soaked North Sea Hijack (1980) is one of the ffew ffilms brave enough to combine terrorism, embroidery, a harpoon gun, James Mason and a box full of kittens. Joining John for a cup of poisoned coffee is Mark Evans, writer, performer, Twitter abstainer and all round ffine ffellow.

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18. Tomorrow Never Dies

Tue, 07 Nov 2017 22:16:19 GMT

The tagline: "The man. The number. The licence....are all back." Urgh, it's so bad. To talk Tomorrow Never Dies - and let's see how he responds to my touch - I'm joined by comedy writer and perfomer Nathaniel Tapley , who can be found on Twitter as @natt.

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Smersh Side Special: Theatre of Blood

Fri, 27 Oct 2017 06:35:13 GMT

It’s side special time again, and just in time for Halloween, we're off to be humiliated at an awards ceremony, throw ourselves into the Thames and then exact bloody revenge against those who failed to recognise our genius. Welcome to Theatre of Blood!

Joining me for a bloody and violent taste of their own medicine are the Guardian and Total Film critic Ali Catterall, who can be found on Twitter as @alicatterall, and the actor Paul Putner, who's also on Twitter as @realpaulputner.

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Smersh Side Special: The Wild Geese

Fri, 13 Oct 2017 19:08:07 GMT

It’s side special time again, and this week we will be knocking back ALL the booze, un-pinning some grenades and loading up our guns as we take flight with The Wild Geese.

Joining me to ruin a small child’s Christmas, and life, is actor and writer Will Smith, who can be found on Twitter as @willsmithwriter

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17. Goldeneye

Thu, 28 Sep 2017 22:10:26 GMT

This week I am joined by television presenter and DJ Alex Zane , who can be found on Twitter as @alex_zane

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Smersh Side Special: On The Buses

Wed, 13 Sep 2017 17:33:46 GMT

It’s Side Special time again, and this week we will be climbing on-board the creepy sex dungeon on wheels, that is ON THE BUSES from 1971. There’ll be fun, frolics, soul-searching and maybe even an inquiry in 40 years or so.

Joining me to try and escape the limpet-like clutches of the resident bus-sex-offenders is the brilliant comedy writer Graham Linehan, who can be found on Twitter as @glinner

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16. Licence to Kill (part 2)

Wed, 30 Aug 2017 17:02:14 GMT

Join me and Empire wordsmith Chris Hewitt (@chrishewitt) for the second part of our epic Licence to Kill chat.

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16. Licence to Kill (part 1)

Thu, 24 Aug 2017 17:24:52 GMT

This week my guest is Empire wordsmith Chris Hewitt, who can be found on Twitter as @chrishewitt

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Smersh Side Special: Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Thu, 10 Aug 2017 16:00:43 GMT

Joining me this week is the Prince of Italy and King of The Totally Football Show, James Richardson, who can be found on Twitter as @acjimbo

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15. The Living Daylights

Thu, 27 Jul 2017 12:16:35 GMT

My special guest this week is Journalist and broadcaster Julia Raeside, who can be found on Twitter as @jnraeside

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Smersh Side Special: Flash Gordon

Tue, 11 Jul 2017 07:00:47 GMT

This week I am joined by football writer and author Iain Macintosh, who can be found on Twitter as @iainmacintosh

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14. A View To A Kill

Fri, 30 Jun 2017 16:49:12 GMT

My special guest this week is the Whovian professor of LOLZ, Stephen Graham who can be found on Twitter as @plopgazette

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Smersh Side Special: Casino Royale (1967)

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 07:03:53 GMT

My guest this week is the man behind BBC 3's brilliant "Big Field" (series 2 has just started and is amazing), Darren Dutton.

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Smersh Side Special: Bullseye!

Sun, 02 Apr 2017 22:00:55 GMT

My guest this week is the excellent writer David Lewis (@davidclewis) - and we examined the 1990 Roger Moore/Michel Caine cry-for-help that is Michael Winner's 1990 "comedy" Bullseye!

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