I wanted to sit down and share a personal update, what’s been happening behind the scenes for me, why I went quiet for a while, and what I’ve been navigating over the past few months.

Just before Christmas, I received some devastating news.

A dear friend of mine, Jack Nagel, passed away suddenly.

This episode is me trying to put words to that experience.

The grief, the shock, the strange loneliness of grief when you lose someone you didn’t share “people” with… and how it, to be honest, completely stopped me in my tracks.

I found myself quietly paralysed and questioning everything.

My voice.

My work.

Whether anything I was saying even mattered.

This grief felt so familiar in a way, yet so different. That grief where it just feels so heavy, where you’re quietly carrying something that no one else can really see or understand.

👉 If you need support:

My DMs are always open on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s January.

It's school holidays.

It’s work.

It’s parenting.

It’s just a busy season.

But if you love someone struggling with alcoholism or addiction in your family or relationship, what you’re feeling might not be “just stress.”

It might be survival mode.

In this episode of "The Part No One Talks About" mini-series, I talk about:

• Why you’re constantly bracing

• The scanning, anticipating and replaying

• The emotional load you’re carrying

• How we minimise the impact on ourselves

• Why “trying harder” isn’t the solution

If you are exhausted, reactive, at capacity, snapping at your kids over Play-Doh… this conversation is for you.

Because you don’t need more patience.

You need steadiness.

And that’s exactly what we’ll be working on inside the live workshop:

How To Live This Year Differently

February 24/25

This workshop is for spouses and families navigating addiction or sobriety at any stage.

You will leave with practical tools to:

 • Reduce reactivity

 • Calm your nervous system

 • Stop living on edge

 • Support your loved one without abandoning yourself

If this episode resonated, don’t wait.

👉 Join us here: Reserve your spot

Can't make it live? Register for the workshop and you'll get the replay in your inbox shortly afterwards.

You deserve steadiness.

Let's connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’re tired. I know you are.

Not just “busy” tired.

Not just “it’s been a long week” tired.

You are life + Addiction tired.

You’re exhausted from holding everything together, for everyone, for years.

If you’re living alongside addiction, whether your loved one is in active addiction, early sobriety, or years into recovery, and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, holding your breath and constantly bracing… this episode is for you.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• The hidden toll of hypervigilance and over-functioning
• Why sobriety alone doesn’t automatically make your life feel better
• The trap of “I’ll feel better when…”
• How survival mode becomes your default
• What last year actually cost you

And the question most people are too scared to ask themselves:

Is this good enough?

If you’ve caught yourself thinking,

“I can’t do another year like this…” but you don’t want pressure, ultimatums, or someone telling you what to do…

This episode is your pause.

Because your life does not have to stay on hold while you wait for someone else to change.

💛 The Workshop

On February 24th/25th, I’m hosting a private workshop:

How to Live This Year Differently ( Whether Your Loved One Is Sober or Not)

This isn’t about fixing anyone.

It’s not about confrontation.

It’s not about making big, scary decisions.

It’s a space to:

• Breathe
• Reflect on what last year took from you
• Gently identify what needs to shift
• Take back responsibility for your own steadiness and wellbeing

You don’t need a plan.

You don’t need your ducks in a row.

You just need a little space.

If you know you can’t do another year on addiction autopilot…

👉 Join us here: Reserve your spot

Can't make it live? Register for the workshop and you'll get the replay in your inbox shortly afterwards.

Let's connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this raw, honest conversation, we look back at the year you’ve survived.

Not minimising it.

Not pretending it was “fine.”

Not brushing it off because “it used to be worse.”

This episode gently and truthfully names what you’ve been carrying:

• The constant tension in the home

• The emotional load of parenting alone

• The hypervigilance that has become your second skin

• The grief for the relationship you hoped for

• The exhaustion of managing everyone’s feelings but your own

• The loneliness of knowing most people will never understand this life

You are not dramatic.

You are not “overreacting.”

You are a human who has been living in survival mode for far too long.

Resources and support:

1️⃣ If you already know you cannot do another year like this one, the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness is now open. This is my signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction, with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

2️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve lived through more than one chaotic December, you’ve probably told yourself:

“Christmas will only be okay if he’s sober.”

“Maybe this year will be different… if he sticks to what he promised.”

In this bonus episode of the Holiday Series, I am sharing the part nobody really tells spouses and families of someone struggling with addiction:

Your experience of Christmas doesn’t actually depend on whether they drinks, use, shows up on time, or follow through on promises.

It depends on you having a plan, support and steadiness in yourself.

I talk about...

Why most people here quietly assume “this is just how December is now” …and how that belief keeps you stuck repeating the same painful holiday patterns, year after year.

I share stories from past clients and how they went into Christmas with a plan, even while their partner’s drinking/drug use was unpredictable. and what actually changed for them and their kids.

The hidden cost of “I’ll just handle it” and why white-knuckling your way through the holidays leaves you depleted, resentful and running on fumes by New Year’s.

How to shifting from “waiting for them to be better” to “I’m allowed to create calm, clarity and moments of joy independent of what they do.”

What realistic hope looks like when you’re the safe parent, and howow to hold both: grief for what you wish your family could be and hope that your holidays can feel different from the inside out.

If this episode feels like it’s narrating your life, you’re not broken, dramatic or asking for too much.

You’re exhausted from carrying far more than anyone can see, and you deserve support, too.

And your holiday experience can be different (even if nothing changes on their end)

🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP

This is where we turn understanding into a plan.

Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:

💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments

💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations

💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells

💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace

💛 A plan for unpredictable moments

💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU

You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.

👉 Save your free seat here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is the deep breath you didn’t know you needed.

If you’re heading into December telling yourself, “I’ll be fine… I’ve done this before… I can handle it,” this one is for you.

Because the truth is:

✨ You have handled too much.

✨ Your body is bracing, even if you’re pretending you’re okay.

✨ And you absolutely do not have to repeat another year of emotional roulette.

In this episode, Amanda gently walks you through:

The real reason your chest tightens as the holiday approaches

Why familiarity doesn’t equal healthy

How your nervous system remembers what your mind is trying to downplay

The physical cost of carrying someone else’s addiction for too long

Why “being the strong one” is quietly burning you out

What needs to shift before the chaos of the season begins

Why emotional preparation matters more than holiday plans, menus, or logistics

How to move out of survival mode and into something steadier

This is your permission slip to stop white-knuckling your way through December.

It’s the reminder you didn’t know you needed:

You are not meant to just “handle” the holidays

You are meant to be supported, grounded, and well.

And your holiday experience can be different (even if nothing changes on their end)

🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP

This is where we turn understanding into a plan.

Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:

💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments

💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations

💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells

💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace

💛 A plan for unpredictable moments

💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU

You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.

👉 Save your free seat here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When your loved one's drinking, substance use, sobriety or recovery feels unpredictable, it can start to feel like everything is out of your hands, the mood, the energy in the house, whether plans go ahead or blow up, whether Christmas feels magical or like a minefield.

This episode is for the lovely person who feels like they are bracing 24/7, waiting for the next wobble, the next mood shift, the next disappointment… and quietly wondering:

“What’s even in my control anymore?”

In this episode, I'm walking you through the three powerful things you can control, even in the messy middle of addiction and recovery -

✨ Your preparation

✨ Your level of engagement

✨ Your meaning-making

Because while you can’t control whether they use/don't use, wobble/relapses, turns up late, or arrives in a mood…. you can control how prepared you are, how much of it you pick up, and how you talk to yourself about what’s happening.

Those three things alone can change how this season feels for you and your kids.

And if this feels painfully familiar, please don’t navigate December alone.

🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP

This is where we turn understanding into a plan.

Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:

💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments

💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations

💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells

💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace

💛 A plan for unpredictable moments

💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU

You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.

👉 Save your free seat here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode dives into something most people will never understand unless they’ve lived it:

You aren’t just planning Christmas.

You’re planning Christmas around a loved ones addiction.

While the rest of the world is thinking menus, Secret Santa, outfits and photos… you’re quietly assessing risk, predicting behaviour, managing expectations, rehearsing backup plans, and carrying the emotional safety of the entire household on your shoulders.

This episode is for the spouses, families, and women in addiction-impacted relationships who are:

✨ Preparing for disappointment before it happens

✨ Making last-minute plans because nothing feels predictable

✨ Rehearsing excuses and half-truths to cover what’s really going on

✨ Managing the dread of “Will they show up? And in what state?”

✨ Navigating the heartbreak of an empty seat at the table

✨ Carrying grief while trying to create magic for your kids

✨ Exhausted from holding it together all year, and then even more in December

This isn’t “holiday stress.”

This is emotional project management at an Olympic level, all happening behind the scenes and all while pretending everything is normal.

And if this feels painfully familiar, please don’t navigate December alone.

🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP

This is where we turn understanding into a plan.

Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:

💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments

💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations

💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells

💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace

💛 A plan for unpredictable moments

💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU

You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.

👉 Save your free seat here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you wake up already bracing yourself… wondering which “version” of your loved one you’ll get today, this episode will feel like someone finally naming the thing you’ve been silently living.

This is the emotional whiplash of loving someone whose drinking, drug use or behaviour shifts without warning.

And during the holidays?

It hits even harder.

In this episode, we unpack:

✨ Why the unpredictability of his behaviour trains your nervous system into survival mode

✨ How your body knows before your mind does

✨ The mental rehearsing, planning, and exit strategies you make without noticing

✨ The dread not just of his behaviour — but of your own reactions

✨ The resentment, the spirals, the shame, the anger you don’t talk about

✨ Why the real cost of addiction in a family is losing access to the best version of YOU

✨ And the shift that gives you back your power this season

This episode is equal parts validation and empowerment, grounded in lived experience, clinical understanding, and the reality you’re navigating behind the scenes.

🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP

This is where we turn understanding into a plan.

Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:

💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments

💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations

💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells

💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace

💛 A plan for unpredictable moments

💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU

You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.

👉 Save your free seat here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If your loved one’s drinking or addiction makes the season feel unpredictable…

If everyone assumes you’re fine…

If you’re holding the entire holiday together while silently bracing for chaos…

This episode is for you.

I’m sharing the emotional load no one sees, the invisible planning you do, and the heartbreaking uncertainty you carry into every December. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.

🎄 Workshop: Holiday Survival Guide - How to navigate your loved ones addiction through the Holiday’s

Stay Grounded, Reduce Conflict, and Enjoy the Season — Even If Their Behaviour Is Unpredictable

If the holidays already feel heavy, unpredictable, or lonely because of your partner’s behaviour, please join me for this free live workshop.

You’ll learn practical tools, scripts, grounding strategies, and a simple plan to help you stay steady, reduce conflict, and protect your peace, no matter what they do.

👉 Save your free seat here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You don’t plan for it.

You don’t see it coming.

And when it happens, the shame of it stays in your chest for years.

Today I’m sharing a story I’ve never fully talked about publicly, the moment I completely lost it, the moment my kids were scared of me, not their dad, and the moment I realised that addiction had changed me in ways that were unimaginable and I could no longer ignore.

If you’ve ever snapped, yelled, bellowed, broken something, stormed out, or reacted in ways you’re not proud of… please hear me:

you’re not a bad mother/father, a bad partner, or a bad person, you’re a human being in survival mode, and you're at your breaking point.

In this deeply personal episode, I talk about:

• The moment I “broke” and how my kids carried that memory
• Why your anger, snapping, and hypervigilance make total sense in survival mode
• How addiction slowly reshapes the “safe parent” without you realising
• Why getting support for you is the difference between coping and crashing

This isn’t an episode about blame or shame, it’s an episode about truth, compassion, and reclaiming yourself after years of walking on eggshells.

And if you’re thinking,

“I can’t keep living like this…”

or

“I don’t want my kids remembering me this way…”

This episode is for you.

And your great 2026 begins with one small step today. not in January, and not after the next crisis.

Listen next:

Ep 66 - They Say They're Sober... But You're Still Not Sure.

Ep 3 - Where Is My Lasagne?

Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life

Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary... Start Here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If so, this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on in a dark room you’ve been sitting in for years.

When you love someone whose drinking or using creates chaos, unpredictability or emotional instability, it doesn’t just change them.

It slowly, quietly, painfully changes you too.

And one day you wake up snapping at your kids, checking his phone, scanning for signs of drinking, living in fear not love… and you realise:

“This isn’t the mother, partner, or woman I wanted to be.”

This episode is for you if you’ve ever thought:

• “I don’t like who I’ve become.”
• “I feel angry all the time.”
• “My whole life feels blurry.”
• “I’m doing everything alone.”
• “He’s changing… but I still feel stuck.”
• “I’ve lost myself somewhere in all this.”

You are not broken.

You are overwhelmed.

And you don’t have to stay this version of yourself.

💬 If this episode feels like I’m reading your diary… you deserve support too.

A good 2026 starts now, not after the next crisis, not in January, and not when things magically get better.

Listen next:

Ep 66 - They Say They're Sober... But You're Still Not Sure.

Ep 41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction

Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life

Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary... Start Here

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If your partner’s addiction has taken over your life, it’s easy to slip into survival mode: waiting for the next crisis, hoping this time things will magically improve, telling yourself you’ll feel better once they finally change.

But here’s the truth: nothing changes if nothing changes. And in addiction-impacted relationships, things rarely stay the same. They usually get worse.

In Part 2 of this two-part series, Amanda walks you through what actually creates real, sustainable change for you, your loved one, and your relationship. No fluff. No false promises. Just grounded, compassionate, practical tools you can use immediately.

You’ll learn:

✨ What truly motivates change (and why shame never does)

✨ How to make the truth safe again

✨ Why boundaries create change (and control doesn’t

✨ The micro-moments that rebuild trust and momentum

And because we’re in November? A calmer, clearer, stronger 2026 starts now, not in January, not after another crisis.

If you’ve been walking on eggshells, waiting for ‘rock bottom’ to wake someone up… this episode will show you why you don’t have to wait anymore, and how you can start leading meaningful change today.

Ready for your next step?

Book a friendly, no-pressure chat to talk through your next small, best step toward peace. Because a good 2026 starts now, not “one day.”

👉 Click here to find a time or send me a DM on Instagram@addictionmakesthreeto share what’s feeling hardest right now.

Listen next:

Ep 41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction

Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life

Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary... Start Here

Ep 66 - They Say They're Sober... But You're Still Not Sure.

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it’s easy to believe that “rock bottom” is what will finally make them change. We’ve been told it by friends, family, even therapists, that things have to get bad enough before they get better.

But here’s the truth: addiction is doing something despite the negative consequences, which means waiting for more pain doesn’t motivate change, it fuels the cycle.

In this episode, Amanda unpacks:

What addiction really is (and why it isn’t about bad choices or willpower)

Why the “rock bottom” story keeps both you and your loved one stuck

How waiting quietly teaches you to abandon yourself

What actually creates motivation for change (hint: it’s hope and safety, not shame)

How to start building the “safety scaffolding” that makes recovery possible before a crisis

If you’ve been walking on eggshells, waiting for the next disaster — this conversation is your permission slip to stop waiting and start leading change from a place of calm, clarity, and strength.

Ready for your next step?

Book a friendly, no-pressure chat to talk through your next small, best step toward peace. Because a good 2026 starts now, not “one day.”

👉 Click here to find a time or send me a DM on Instagram@addictionmakesthreeto share what’s feeling hardest right now.

Listen next:

Ep 41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction

Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habit Keeping you Stuck

Ep 6 - Painful thought #1 - Why are they choosing a substance over me?

Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.

👉 Click here to find a time

2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community

👉 Join the waitlist here

3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.

👉 Get the Free Guide

4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After living through lies, gaslighting, and constant second-guessing, rebuilding trust can feel impossible. You want to believe them. You want your relationship to work. But you’re also exhausted from checking, doubting, and playing detective.

In this episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer explains what rebuilding trust really looks like after addiction, without losing yourself in the process. Y

What We Talk About

• Why “you just have to trust me” doesn’t work after addiction
• The first (and most important) step: rebuilding trust with yourself
• How to use boundaries and clarity, not control, to feel safe
• What to do in the “messy middle” when things are better, but not good yet
• Why noticing when words and actions align is the key to lasting trust
• How to support recovery without turning into the sobriety police

For Listeners Who Are In the “Messy Middle”

If you’re trying to stop living in detective mode, but you don’t know what to do next, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

👉 Book a friendly chat to talk through your next small, best step forward in peace - Click here to find a time

Or, if you’d prefer, send me a DM on Instagram @addictionmakesthree and we can talk through what’s feeling hardest right now.

Listen next:

Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary, Start Here.

Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habbit Keeping you Stuck

Ep 65 - What no one warns you about when they go to rehab

Ep 28 - Your Unexpected Resentment in Their Recovery

💌 Need support for yourself (not just your loved one)? Book in a no-pressure chat with Amanda to share what's going on and find out what your next best smallest steps are, or join the waitlist for the next intake to the Pathway to Wellness Program.

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ You can book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I unpack what happens after the lies, after rehab, and after the chaos settles.

I explain why it’s so hard to feel calm, how broken trust shows up in your body, and why believing yourself is the first step toward healing, not policing your partner.

You’ll Learn

• Why trust doesn’t return the moment sobriety starts
• The trauma response behind hyper-vigilance and “detective mode”
• What your nervous system is really doing when you can’t relax
• How to begin rebuilding trust with yourself first
• Why “just trust me” never works, and what to say instead

Listen next:

Ep 14 - The Power of the Pause

Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habbit Keeping you Stuck

Ep 65 - What no one warns you about when they go to rehab

Ep 28 - Your Unexpected Resentment in Their Recovery

💌 Need support for yourself (not just your loved one)? Book in a no-pressure chat with Amanda to share what's going on and find out what your next best smallest steps are, or join the waitlist for the next intake to the Pathway to Wellness Program.

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ You can book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And maybe they do.

But no one talks about what happens to the person left at home once they finally do.

In this honest episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer shares what really happens on the other side of rehab. The emotional whiplash, the relief mixed with resentment, and why it’s completely normal to feel angry, confused, or even jealous while your loved one gets help.

You’ll learn:

• Why relief often turns into resentment (and what it’s telling you)

• How to stop waiting for their recovery to fix everything

• What your own recovery and support can look like independent of theirs

Rehab isn’t the finish line. It’s the start of two recoveries, theirs and yours.

Ask yourself: What support do I need right now, for me?

🎧 Listen now, and explore your next steps and resources in the show notes.

Listen next:

• Ep 28 - Your unexpected resentment in Their recovery
• Ep 18 - Rehab from the other side - Part 3
• Ep 17 - Rehab from the other side - Part 2
• Ep 16 - Rehab from the other side - Part 1

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Loving someone who struggles with alcohol or drugs can quickly take over your life. You keep going because stopping feels dangerous, like everything might collapse if you let go for a second.

In this episode, Amanda shares what “the pause” really means when you’re run-down and stretched thin, and why it’s necessary for everyone’s wellbeing for you to pause. You’ll learn how to notice the crappy internal thoughts that keep you stuck, how to ask for help without guilt, and why rest isn’t a luxury, it’s maintenance.

I know it’s hard here and you’re beyond tired. Take that micro moment and have a rest. It’ll help more than you could ever imagine

Listen next:

• Ep 14 - The Power of The Pause
• Ep 55 - 7 Late Night Google Searches That Reveal Addiction Red Flags
• Ep 54 - What Real Support Looks Like (Without the Shame of Enabling)
• Ep 33 - You're not Their Rehab

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re navigating perimenopause while also living with a partner who’s struggling with addiction, you are not imagining how hard this feels, it’s a lot.

Your hormones are shifting. Your sleep’s all over the place. Your emotions are on high alert. And when you layer in the stress, uncertainty, and heartbreak that comes with addiction in a relationship, it can feel impossible to stay calm, steady, or even like yourself anymore.

In this episode, I’m unpacking what happens when perimenopause, stress, and addiction in a relationship collide, the perfect storm of emotional overload, fatigue, and burnout that so many women find themselves in but rarely talk about.

We’ll chat about:

Why perimenopause makes emotional regulation so much harder when addiction is involved

How your nervous system gets stuck in “fight or flight” mode

The hidden compassion we can find in those small moments of resistance (yes, even over coffee)

And what it really takes to start feeling calm, in control, and well again — no matter where your loved one is in their recovery

Your ability to find your peace, even when things around you are chaotic is going to be what helps you. And when you're better in yourself, you can support your loved one in a healthy way.

Listen next:

• Ep 14 - The Power of The Pause
• Ep 5 - What About Us
• Ep 15 - What got you here won't get you there
• Ep 20 - You’ll achieve more in 1 year focusing on your own wellbeing...

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Amanda sits down with Conrad Tracey, founder of Addiction Coaching Australia, to unpack the outdated myths that keep people stuck, and reveal what real, sustainable recovery actually looks like.

Together they explore the messy middle of change, the space between crisis and consistency, and how both the person struggling and their loved ones can find steadier ground through boundaries, compassion, and evidence-based support.

You’ll learn:

Why waiting for rock bottom can be dangerous and what to do instead.

The difference between helping and enabling (and why it matters).

How relapse fits into recovery without meaning “back to day one.”

What real accountability looks like without shame or control.

How small, consistent actions create lasting transformation.

This episode is for you if:

You love someone navigating addiction or early recovery.

You’re a high-functioning person quietly struggling yourself.

You’re tired of outdated advice and want tools that actually work.

Connect with Conrad

• Addiction Coaching Australia
• @conradmtracey_addictioncoach on Instagram
• We are running a promotion for listeners of the podcast of a special introduction price to our Circuit Breaker program $97 per week ex GST for the first three months, rather than usual $149 per week ex GST.
• Just use the code SOBER at the check out.https://pages.addictioncoachingaustralia.com.au/the-circuit-breaker

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One day there’s hope, the next there’s heartbreak.

And the question won’t stop circling your mind: Should I stay, or should I leave?

In this episode, Amanda helps you step off the exhausting mental treadmill of “what ifs” and find solid ground again.

You’ll learn:

• Why both staying and leaving are hard
• The real question you need to ask instead
• How doing your own inner work is the key to clarity

Whether your partner is in active addiction, early recovery, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you stop waiting for a sign, start choosing you and get you stepping closer to making decisions that feel good, even when they are hard.

Listen next:

• Ep 42 - How many chances is too many?
• Ep 27 - Should you Leave or Stay? Why that's not the Only Question
• Ep 23 - How to get through a relapse without losing hope

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Amanda explains living grief, the hidden heartbreak of loving someone in addiction. Learn why it feels confusing, how grief shows up in your body, and gentle ways to begin healing without losing yourself.

It’s the tension between hope and heartbreak.

Between who they were and who they are now.

You can love them and still grieve them.

You can hold hope and still hold boundaries.

Listen next:

• Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
• Ep 3 - Where is my lasagne?
• Ep 20 - You’ll achieve more in 1 year focusing on your own wellbeing...

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree

5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Me too.

You’re not crazy, you’re trying your best to cope the only way you know how.

In this episode, I unveil my long list of whack and unhinged behaviour and unpack why the “detective mode” makes sense and why it’s quietly breaking you, and how to step out of it with compassion.

You’ll learn:

• The gaslighting → doubt → evidence-hunt loop (and why it’s addictive)
• Why hyper-vigilance feels like control but creates burnout
• A kinder swap: put down the magnifying glass, pick up the mirror
• One tiny action to retire (today) + what to do instead
• 
  

If you’ve been living on high alert, this is your permission slip to choose peace over proof.

And truly - send me a DM on Instagram or drop me an email - let me know the one thing you are going to 'stop' doing... and let's get a plan together.

Listen next:

• Ep 53 - Are You Gaslighting Yourself?
• Ep 57 - 4 Signs Your Boundaries Aren’t Working
• Ep 48 - Why Sobriety Isn’t the Finish Line

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

3️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They pay the bills.

They make people laugh.

So how could this be addiction, right?

That’s what we tell ourselves. Until being high-functioning for them starts feeling like being high-alert for you.

In this raw and honest episode, Amanda pulls back the curtain on one of the most misleading labels in addiction: “high-functioning.”

You’ll learn:

Why “holding it all together” can actually be a form of denial

The hidden emotional cost for partners and families

How this label gaslights you into doubting what you already know

What true wellbeing actually looks like and how to start measuring it differently

If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad, they’re still working, they’re still funny, they’re still paying the bills,” this episode will help you see that “fine” isn’t the same as “healthy.”

🎧 Listen now to learn how to stop minimising, start trusting yourself, and take the first step towards real steadiness and peace.

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here

2️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

3️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

4️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• 4 common signs it’s time to set new or better boundaries.
• Why resentment is your body’s boundary alarm.
• How over-functioning and people-pleasing (tendencies) keep you stuck.
• The heartbreaking cost of neglecting yourself.
• How boundaries help you separate what’s yours from what’s theirs.

If this episode resonated, join me for my upcoming Boundaries Workshop. Let’s protect your peace and step forwards in a healthy way, together - without the confusion and self doubt.

👉 Other Episodes Mentioned

Ep14 - The Power of the Pause

Ep30 - Why boundaries matter way more than we think

👉 Resources and support:

1️⃣ Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here

2️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

3️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

4️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Or Googling at 2am, ‘Is my partner an alcoholic?’ before deleting the search?

You’re not crazy, these are the blurry early signs of addiction. And today, we’re naming a few of them.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• The subtle early signs of addiction you might be overlooking.
• Why denial (yours and theirs) keeps you stuck.
• How behaviours like walking on eggshells or late-night Googling are actually red flags.
• Why you don’t need a label to validate your experience, it’s enough that it’s a problem for YOU.
• A gentle reframe: awareness is the first step toward change.

If this episode resonated, join me for my upcoming Boundaries Workshop. Let’s protect your peace and step forwards in a healthy way, together. Without the confusion and self doubt.

Resources and support:

Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The middle of the night. The house is quiet. You’re scrolling with the brightness turned down low, Googling questions you never thought you’d type:

“Is drinking every night normal?”

“Why does he lie about it?”

“Am I overreacting?”

If that’s you, this episode will feel like an exhale.

In this conversation, I dive into:

• Why those late-night Google searches are already a sign something’s not okay
• The subtle ways your body knows before your brain is ready to admit it
• Common red-flag searches (and what they really mean)
• How shame makes us clear the history… and silence ourselves
• The simple reframe that turns “I’m paranoid” into “I’m aware”

This isn’t about shaming or blaming.

It’s about recognising that if you’re secretly Googling at 2am, something in you already knows it’s time to pay attention.

Resources and support:

🎓 Grab the Discovery to Recovery workshop - a bitesized 3 part workshop to get grounded and clear on what's going on and your next smallest steps forward: get it here

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Because helping someone you love should feel good… right?

In this episode, I go deeper on the conversation from Episode 19 and talk about the confusing, messy, emotionally-charged reality of trying to “help” someone impacted by addiction.

You’ll hear:

• How to tell if your “support” is actually costing you your health, peace, or wellbeing
• Why the advice you’re getting from others even well-meaning family might be hurting more than helping
• A powerful mindset shift: stop asking “Am I enabling?” and start asking “Is this healthy for me?”
• Real examples from Amanda and the women inside the Pathway to Wellness program about setting boundaries that are loving and firm
• A compassionate reminder that you don’t have to break yourself to help someone else heal

Amanda shares practical, heart-centred questions to help you move from guilt-ridden guesswork… to grounded clarity.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re walking on eggshells around your partner’s addiction
• You’ve been told you’re “enabling” and you feel shamed or confused
• You want to help… but not at the expense of your own wellbeing

🎧 Subscribe and follow to never miss an episode and please share this with a woman in your life who might need this message today.

Let’s Keep Going Together:

🎓 Grab the Discovery to Recovery workshop: get it here

🎧 Binge other helpful episodes:

• Episode 19: Debunking the myth of enabling in addiction
• Episode 43: Why everyone has opinions (and none of them help)
• Episode 35: When You’re Scared to Set the Boundary… Start Here

📩 DM Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share what landed

Resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Maybe I’m overreacting.”

“Maybe it’s not that bad.”

“Maybe I’m the problem.”

💥 That, my friend, is self-gaslighting.

In this gentle but truth-filled episode, Amanda explores:

• What gaslighting really is (and what it looks like in your loved one)
• How gaslighting becomes internalised and turns into your own inner voice
• Why we gaslight ourselves (hint: it’s about survival, not weakness)
• How this quiet habit keeps us stuck in shame, silence, and confusion
• What it really looks like to stop gaslighting yourself and start trusting yourself again

If you’ve ever second-guessed your reality or felt like you needed “evidence” before trusting your gut then this episode is for you.

🎧 Tune in now and come back to this one any time you need a reminder:

You're not crazy.

You're not imagining things.

You're not too sensitive.

You're just exhausted from carrying a truth no one else is acknowledging.

And that ends today.

Let’s Keep Going Together:

🎓 Grab the workshop: get it here

🎧 Binge previous episodes: What if waiting is the most dangerous choice - 52, Why sobriety isn't the finish line - 48, I'm smart, so why do I feel so stuck - 40

📩 DM Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share what landed

Resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve been whispering “maybe this is just my lot in life”... this episode is for you.

I am getting real about the hidden choices we make every day in addiction-impacted relationships, especially when it feels like we don’t have any choices at all.

Inside this episode:

• The quiet ways women become passengers in their own life
• How addiction can trick you into feeling powerless
• Why both choices might feel hard, but choosing still matters
• What it looks like to set boundaries with love (not ultimatums)

You’ll also hear the story of one woman who stopped waiting for her partner’s rock bottom and reclaimed her own power instead.

BONUS: If you want to start choosing differently but don’t know where to start…

I have created a 3 session self-paced workshop for women just like you.

👉 It’s called Discovery to Recovery and it’s only $77.

Get clarity, calm, and your next small step here: Get the workshop in your pocket

Let’s Keep Going Together:

🎓 Grab the workshop: get it here

🎧 Binge previous episodes on boundaries - 35, how to get through a relapse without losing hope - 23, Why sobriety isn't the finish line - 48

📩 DM Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share what landed

Resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you’re living alongside a loved one’s addiction, staying quiet can feel like the safest choice. You tell yourself you’re protecting them, your family, and yourself. You don’t want to make things worse, invite judgement, or fuel the shame that’s already there.

But here’s the truth, silence doesn’t always protect you. In fact, it can keep you stuck. And it can keep your loved one stuck, too.

In this episode, I share why so many capable, intelligent women wear silence like a badge of honour, the hidden cost of that silence, and what can happen when you start speaking up in safe, supportive spaces. You’ll hear personal reflections, relatable stories, and gentle challenges to help you see your voice as a powerful tool for clarity, healing, and change.

Whether you’re in the early days of navigating a partner’s addiction or years into the rollercoaster, this conversation will help you shift from quietly coping to confidently choosing what’s best for you.

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peace in your home. Peace in your relationship. Peace in your body.

But here’s the hard truth no one talks about:

The real peace?

It’s on the other side of discomfort.

In this milestone episode, Amanda gets raw and real about what it actually takes to reclaim your voice and protect your peace when you’re in a relationship impacted by addiction.

We unpack:

• Why the “path of least resistance” keeps you stuck
• What happens when you abandon yourself to keep the peace
• How to start flexing your discomfort muscle (without diving straight into deep-end convos)
• Client stories that show this shift in real life
• And how YOU can start choosing the kind of “hard” that leads to healing

You don’t have to blow things up.

You don’t have to confront every moment.

But you do deserve to stop abandoning your truth.

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this deeply honest episode, Amanda explores what “not okay” really looks like for high-functioning, capable and amazing women. From over-functioning and emotional whiplash to hiding behind the mask of “I’m fine,” we unpack the silent cost of loving someone in active addiction.

Amanda shares her own turning point and why acknowledging your pain (even in a whisper) is the first important step for change. If you’ve been doing everything for everyone and wondering why you feel like you’re breaking… this is your invitation to breathe.

Whether you’re in crisis or just quietly breaking, this episode offers truth and relief.

🎧 If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear: You’re allowed to not be okay and still be amazing and capable.

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this raw and honest episode on Addiction Makes Three, we unpack the hard truth: sobriety doesn’t magically fix everything. If you’re a high-functioning woman walking on eggshells, exhausted by emotional labour, and silently battling burnout while your partner struggles with addiction or is newly sober this conversation is for you.

We explore:

Why “destination sobriety” can actually delay your healing

How enabling can wear a clever disguise

What it really takes to rebuild trust (with yourself and them)

And why setting boundaries is essential, even after sobriety begins

Whether your partner is in active addiction/use, early recovery, or somewhere in-between you deserve clarity, peace, and support now, not “one day.”

🎧 Hit play for validation, strategy, and a gentle wake-up call you didn’t know you needed.

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and compassionate solo episode, Amanda walks you through 11 subtle but life-altering signs that your partner’s addiction might be quietly taking over your world, emotionally, mentally, and even physically.

This is not about blaming or shaming your loved one. It’s about helping you see the truth of what’s happening so you can reclaim your peace, identity, and life without guilt.

You’ll hear:

• What “walking on eggshells” really looks like in a relationship with addiction
• How your mood may be tied to theirs (and why it’s exhausting)
• Why you’ve stopped making plans and stopped laughing
• The invisible weight of responsibility and the deep grief of losing yourself
• A gentle but powerful reminder: you don’t need to wait for it to get even worse to get support

Whether you tick one box or all eleven, please know this: you’re not dramatic, you’re not overreacting and you’re not alone.

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

Upcoming workshop: Learn how to support your partner without losing yourself in the process

Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)

Happening this week

👉 Register Here

If you haven’t got the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this raw and real episode, Amanda speaks directly to the silent warriors - partners, loved ones, and family members of someone struggling with substance use or addiction.

Whether you use that word or not, if it feels like a problem for you? That’s enough.

This episode explores:

• The subtle signs something isn’t right (before the “big” moments happen)
• Why you don’t need a diagnosis or external validation to know what’s real
• The inner dialogue high-functioning, capable people often face in silence
• How to begin owning your experience—without waiting for someone else to change first

✨ Whether you're just starting to question things, or you’ve been quietly navigating this for a while, Amanda offers grounded insight, compassionate truth bombs, and a gentle but firm reminder:

You don’t need permission for this to be a problem for you.

🎧 Tune in if:

• You’ve ever Googled: “Is this addiction?”
• You feel isolated, confused, or even ashamed about what’s happening at home
• You’re ready to reclaim clarity, strength, and direction (without needing their buy-in first)

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s heartfelt episode, Amanda gets radically real about what it means to show up as the safe parent (not the perfect one). Through her own lived experience, she shares what helped her move from daily survival mode to being the calm, grounded anchor her kids needed.

Expect tough truths, validation, and practical guidance for any parent navigating chaos and craving clarity.

Here’s what we cover:

• What it really means to be the “safe parent” (hint: not perfection)
• How addiction impacts your presence, patience, and parenting
• Why focusing on your well-being is the oxygen mask your family needs
• The power of honest conversations with your kids
• How to avoid gaslighting and build emotional safety at home
• What to do when you feel like you're at capacity (because you probably are)
• 
  

If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning while trying to keep everyone afloat, this is your reminder that there’s another way. And it starts with you, lovely lady.

✨ Want to go deeper?

Join us inside Pathway to Wellness Program. A supportive space where women learn how to reclaim calm, set boundaries, and lead their families through stormy seasons with strength. Details in the show notes.

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re already dreading the holidays months in advance, you’re not alone. When addiction is part of the family picture, Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays and everything in between can feel less like joy and more like survival.

The tension.

The managing.

The bracing.

The pretending.

The heartbreak.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

Why holidays amplify stress when addiction is in the mix

How to stop abandoning your own needs to “keep the peace”

Ways to set boundaries without guilt

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“It’s not that bad.”

Sound familiar? Everyone has opinions about addiction, but most of them don’t help.

You’re confused. You’re exhausted. It's a lot right now - addiction, recovery and everything in between, and what do you do? You message someone for advice - your sister, your cousin, a friend, a Facebook group. Suddenly, you’re swimming in five different opinions… and still don’t know what to do.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

Why well-meaning advice often misses the mark

How to trust your own voice over the crowd

What to do instead of polling friends or family

❤️ Ready to Rebuild Trust With Yourself?

If you’re tired of outsourcing decisions and second-guessing everything… that’s what we work on every single week inside the Pathway to Wellness program. You’ll get tools, support, and a framework to reconnect with your own knowing—and make confident choices that feel right for you and your family - and the peace that brings is everything. join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness,

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by 

now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've ever found yourself asking, "Should I give them another chance?" you are not alone, and this episode is for you.

You're not weak for hoping things will change. You're not naïve for wanting the best. But if you're stuck in a cycle of promises, letdowns, and “one more chances,” it’s time to pause and ask: what is different this time, with this chance?

In this episode, we unpack the real reason you keep giving chances, how hope (and fear) can keep you stuck, and what to consider before giving another one. I’ll share questions to help you cut through the confusion and get clear on what’s actually changing and what’s not.

We’ll also talk about why trusting again isn’t just about them changing... but about you finding your voice again too.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why giving another chance doesn’t make you a doormat
• How to know if you’re stuck in the “hope trap”
• The hidden cost of constantly giving one more chance on repeat
• What a healthy “next chance” can actually look like
• The key question: Am I staying because I want to… or because I’m scared to leave?

If this hit close to home, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why that question shuts down honesty and connection

The better way to approach communication when addiction is present

What to focus on instead (hint: your wellbeing and boundaries)

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

Why intelligence doesn’t protect you from addiction’s impact

The hidden ways you might be over-functioning

How to rebuild trust with yourself

Whether you’ve been Googling “What does alcoholism look like?”, “Am I enabling?” or just wondering how your brainy self ended up in this emotional addiction storm… you’ll feel seen, supported, and armed with some ideas about what to stop doing (more research!) and what to start.

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

But if you're honest?

You're exhausted.

Your heart is tired from hoping.

Your brain won’t stop spinning—thinking, overthinking.

You keep showing up, holding it all together…

But somewhere along the way, you got lost.

Maybe you feel like if you just love them harder… support them better… say the right thing… they'll finally turn the corner.

This episode explores:

What actually supports recovery (and what doesn’t)

How to stop over-functioning without giving up hope

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’ve heard the term rock bottom - but what does that actually mean, how can we change the lens and what really helps someone change?

In this raw and eye-opening episode, I’m joined by Jack from Real Drug Talk, who brings a rare and powerful perspective: the inside story of addiction, what recovery actually looks like, and the truth about what it takes to turn a life around.

Jack opens up about his own experience, from being a promising young athlete to spiralling into meth addiction, and eventually finding his way out. We unpack the outdated myths still floating around in the addiction space (like “if they wanted to, they would”), the real role families play in recovery, and why waiting for a loved one to “hit rock bottom” might actually be missing the point.

Whether you’re supporting someone you love or navigating your own recovery, this conversation will give you hope, validation, and insight.

What talk about in this episode

• Jack’s story: how curiosity, insecurity, and disconnection led to addiction
• The problem with “just let them hit rock bottom”
• What change really looks like (hint: it’s not linear)
• Harm reduction vs. abstinence, and why both can have a place
• How families can support without enabling
• What success in recovery really means (it’s not just about not using)
• The 3 pillars Jack sees in people who thrive after addiction

If you’ve ever wondered:

→ Can people really change?

→ How do I support someone without losing myself?

→ What does recovery actually look like - beyond the stereotypes?

This episode is for you.

Connect with Jack:

🔗 www.connectionbasedliving.com.au

📲 Instagram: @realdrugtalk

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

Register for the Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)

Happening on June 19th and June 20th (depending on where you are in the world)

Replay is available but you have to register to get it in your inbox

👉 Register Here

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Why didn’t I just say what I meant?”

“Why do I always say that when I know it doesn't help?"

"Why did I say I was ok with that when I'm not?"

If your nervous system is fried, your plate is overflowing, and your words keep getting caught in your throat - you’re not broken. You’re up to your absolute eyeballs with EVERYTHING and you are absolutely maxed out and struggling here.

And this episode is your exhale. Inside, we’ll talk about:

• Why your brain shuts down in high-stress moments (it’s not your fault)
• What’s really behind the silence, the outbursts, the people-pleasing
• How to interrupt the cycle with one phrase, one pause, one breath
• Why kindness and clarity can coexist—and how to practise it

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

If you’ve already downloaded The Crisis Conversation Guide, this is your next step. Ready to go deeper?

Book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by the incredible Carol Beaumont. Mum, advocate, and co-founder of Her Courage as she opens up about her 20-year journey of loving someone through addiction, losing herself along the way, and slowly rebuilding a life of peace, power, and purpose.

Together, we explore:

— The hidden struggle of being ‘the strong one’

— What gaslighting, guilt, and grief can really look like

— Letting go of the façade and stepping into truth

— Why choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s survival

— How peace can feel foreign (and what to do with that)

This episode is for the woman who’s doing her best to keep the peace, protect her kids, and make sense of a world that feels upside down. It’s raw. It’s honest. And it’s your reminder that you are not alone—and that you’re allowed to choose you.

🎧 Listen now. And if this resonates, share it with a friend who might need the same reminder.

✨ Find Carol and Her Courage events at hercourage.co.nz

📸 Follow Carol on Instagram: @hercouragecarol

Let’s Connect:

If this episode hit home, send me a message on Instagram @addictionmakesthree and let me know what resonated most. I love hearing from you.

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email - amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

If you want to have a friendly chat about your current situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time and we can chat about it. No pressure, just a soft place to land.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know it's hard, and you don't want to be here or to have to have this conversation at all. And I promise you, it's possible for this to be better, and we can do it, one small conversation and action step at a time.

In this episode, I gently walk you through what to do when boundaries feel terrifying and why that makes complete sense, especially when you're navigating addiction in your relationship.

Whether you’re afraid of conflict, rejection, or what might happen if you actually have to follow through, this is a starting point that’s designed to feel safe, grounded, and doable.

We’ll talk about:

• Why fear will always be in the room (but doesn’t need to drive the bus)
• The quiet power of starting small and building confidence step by step
• How to speak your truth without needing all the answers
• The pre-work to do before setting a boundary so you feel clear and calm, not reactive and overwhelmed

This episode is for you if you’re tired of second-guessing yourself, waiting for the “perfect moment,” or hoping your loved one will just magically change. It’s honest, practical, and packed with compassionate wisdom for anyone who wants to start protecting their peace, one small step at a time.

Want support working through your next boundary? My DMs are open @addictionmakesthree I’d love to hear from you.

Let’s Connect:

If this episode hit home, send me a message on Instagram @addictionmakesthree and let me know what resonated most. I love hearing from you.

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

If you want to have a friendly chat about your current situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time and we can chat about it. No pressure, just a soft place to land.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Thoughts and prayers.”

We’ve all heard it. Maybe we’ve even said it. But in the face of real crisis, real grief, and real chaos, it’s just not enough.

This isn’t about religion or belief. It’s about presence vs platitudes.

You’ll hear:

• Why “thoughts and prayers” often land as dismissive, even when well-intended
• What families impacted by addiction really need
• How addiction struggles are treated differently than other illness or tragedy—and why that needs to change
• Tangible ways to lean in and offer meaningful support (even if you don’t have all the answers)

If you’ve ever felt abandoned in your hardest moments, or unsure how to support someone else through theirs, then this one’s for you.

Because we need more than thoughts and prayers.

Let’s Connect:

If this episode hit home, send me a message on Instagram @addictionmakesthree and let me know what resonated most. I love hearing from you.

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

If you want to have a friendly chat about your current situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time and we can chat about it. No pressure, just a soft place to land.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’re not alone—and I need you to hear this: You are not their rehab. In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into:

✅ Why you feel so responsible for their recovery (and why it’s not your job)

✅ How addiction tricks you into believing you can “fix” someone else

✅ The hidden ways over-helping actually keeps you stuck

✅ What to do instead—so you can stop living in survival mode and start reclaiming your own life

This episode is for the caring, amazing, capable woman who’s exhausted from trying to hold it all together. If you’re done walking on eggshells, feeling powerless, or wondering if you’re the problem, this conversation will be a game-changer.

And if this resonates, DM me on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share your thoughts so we can keep this conversation going! 💬

Listening live... join the free 60 minute workshop -  Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt

Happening on March 17th and 18th at two different times (LIVE!) The only catch?  There is no replay on this one.  So secure your spot and I'll see you there.  Reserve your Spot Here

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happening on March 10th and 11th at two different times (LIVE!) The only catch? There is no replay on this one. So secure your spot and I'll see you there. Reserve your Spot Here

Cyclone Alfred is on the approach and it got me thinking about storms... and addiction and the huge similarities!

When a loved one struggles with addiction, it can feel like you’re standing in the middle of a cyclone—chaotic, unpredictable, and completely out of your control.  But what if the key to navigating both storms wasn’t trying to control them, or endlessly worrying, but learning how to prepare, how to protect yourself, and what actually helps?

In this episode I'm talking about the emotional turbulence, uncertainty, and fear that both can bring. I am doubling down on the importance of preparation—because waiting until the storm is here leaves you vulnerable and scrambling for a solution that is (most probably) not going to effective.  Just like preparing before a cyclone, setting boundaries and knowing how you are going to respond to situations and events are critical before the chaos hits.  

I'm chatting about the noise of external opinions and how this can amplify confusion, self doubt and uncertainty, making it even harder to know what to do.  Not every voice deserves your attention, and filtering out the noise is essential for protecting your peace of mind. 

While you can’t control the storm, you can control how you prepare yourself and how you respond, and that shift in mindset can be a game-changer.  Experience teaches us valuable lessons, and every challenge we face is an opportunity to adapt, grow, and refine our strategies.  

🎧 Whether you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just need a fresh perspective on coping with a loved one's addiction, this episode will help you shift your mindset and regain control of your own well-being.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happening on March 10th and 11th at two different times (LIVE!) The only catch? There is no replay on this one. So secure your spot and I'll see you there. Reserve your Spot Here

Have you ever stopped to think about how the words you use impact the way you experience your life? The way you see your loved one? Yourself?

In this episode, I'm pulling apart the labels and narratives that keep people stuck—words like addict, alcoholic, junkie—and questioning whether they truly help or if they reinforce the very struggles we’re trying to break free from.

Isn't your loved one was more than their addiction? Aren't you more than the spouse or loved one of someone struggling?

If you’ve ever felt like addiction has taken over your identity or that the world around you sees your loved one as nothing more than their worst moments, this conversation is for you. Let’s reframe the way we speak about addiction and step into something more powerful.

Maybe you’ve caught yourself saying, “My husband is an addict.” Or “My dad’s an alcoholic.” Maybe you’ve even labeled yourself: “I’m the wife of an addict.”

But here’s the question: Is that helping?

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever felt guilty for setting boundaries? Or wondered why the ones you set don’t seem to stick? In this episode we’re diving deep into boundaries—what they are, why they matter, and how to set them in a way that actually works.

Or maybe you were like me 5 years ago.... no boundaries and just no idea where to even start?! Don't worry, we are going to chat about it.

When you love someone struggling with addiction, boundaries can feel confusing. You might start with trying to control or manipulate under the guise of a boundary... or maybe you'll go down the request and then annoyance path like me. Or perhaps just hope, hope, hope things will get better and behaviour will change and you won't need to set a boundary (also me)

You may worry that setting limits means pushing them away when it's the last thing you actually want to do, or that following through will create more conflict. But healthy boundaries aren’t about controlling others—they’re about protecting your peace, your energy, and your well-being.

This conversation will help you understand boundaries on a whole new level, giving you the confidence to create ones that honour both your needs and your values.

Boundaries allow you to stay in relationships that matter to you and it's about saying what is absolutely ok with you as well as what isn't.

Listening live... join the free 60 minute workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt

Happening on March 10th and 11th at two different times (LIVE!) The only catch? There is no replay on this one. So secure your spot and I'll see you there. Reserve your Spot Here

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Loving someone struggling with addiction comes with an exhausting double life. You’re holding everything together, managing responsibilities, putting on a brave face—yet inside, you're drained, overwhelmed, and wondering why no one sees how hard this really is.

Is it wrong to feel this way? Shouldn’t you just be stronger? What if opening up makes things worse?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the hidden toll of living a double life, why societal pressure and fear of judgment keep so many stuck in silence, and how constantly choosing connection over authenticity leads to emotional exhaustion. We’ll talk about the cost of pretending, why “hope” can sometimes be a trap, and—most importantly—how to start creating safe spaces where you can be real, without guilt or shame.

If you’ve been feeling unseen, exhausted, and trapped between who you are and who the world expects you to be—this conversation is for you.

Let’s talk about what it really means to find support, reclaim your authenticity, and stop carrying this alone.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it wrong to feel frustrated? Shouldn’t you just be grateful they’re in recovery? Isn't this exactly what you wanted?

You’ve spent so much time holding everything together, but now, exhaustion and unspoken emotions and unmet needs are building up. And yet, talking about it feels impossible—what if it sounds selfish? What if it causes conflict? What if they don’t understand?

In this episode, I am breaking down the reality of resentment in recovery (I absolutely felt this myself and it really took me by surprise!), why it happens, and how to navigate it without guilt or shame. I'm really diving into the emotional weight of supporting a loved one and why the right expectations, healthy communication, boundaries, and self-care aren’t just helpful but necessary.

Let’s talk about what rehab looks like—not just for them, but for you too.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And you are wondering if this is it? Is this what life is now? Is this it? Is this enough?

You’re stuck in the hardest decision of your life—should you stay, or should you leave? But what if that’s not the real question? What if neither choice magically fixes the pain you’re in?

How do you make a decision you can live with? How do you deal with the fear of regret? What if staying feels unbearable, but leaving doesn’t feel right either? And what will people think?

In this episode, Amanda is breaking down why this decision feels impossible, the hidden questions that sit beyond that initial decision, and how to find clarity when there’s no easy answer. No matter what you choose, the most important decision is actually making one that feels right for you.

Let’s talk about what that really means.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

If you want to have a friendly chat about your situation and what the next best steps could be: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ll explore:

✅ Why sobriety isn’t a silver bullet for relationship healing

✅ The hidden dangers of waiting for them to change before you start your own growth

✅ How unaddressed resentment, pain, and dysfunction can create new challenges post-sobriety

✅ Ways you may be unintentionally hindering recovery

✅ The power of breaking the "familiar dance" in your relationship

If you're ready to take your life off hold and stop waiting, this episode is for you. Tune in now!

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

Book in a friendly chat about your situation and how it can be better: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's change the conversation and let people know it's ok to put their hand up for support - the individuals and the families.

Let's offer families and individuals a life raft here.

Let's all be part of the change in conversations around addiction, at the dinner table, the water cooler and on the sports people. Let's get around people and let them know we have got them.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

Book in a friendly chat about your situation and how it can be better: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happening on 14th/15th November

If you can’t make it live, the replay will be available (register to get this in your inbox after the event)

Register here

In this episode I explore what it means to shift the focus away from your loved one and back onto yourself. To shift the focus away from their addiction or behaviour or recovery and onto your own behaviour and life.

When someone close to us is struggling, it’s easy to become consumed by their behaviours, moods, and actions. We might find ourselves trying to control situations or continually adjusting our lives to manage their ups and downs. But over time, this focus on someone else’s journey can leave us feeling exhausted, disconnected from our own needs, and unsure of who we are beyond the role of caretaker or partner or a loved one of someone struggling with addiction.

This episode dives into how essential it is to reclaim your own focus, emphasising that shifting your attention back to you isn’t selfish – it’s necessary to make your life better and that in doing this, it truly benefits you, your relationship, your loved one and your family.

Through some gentle encouragement and a little bit of tough love, this episode offers a path to regain control of your life. This shift doesn’t mean turning away from your loved one; it’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself that might have been put on hold. By nurturing your own life and happiness, you not only strengthen yourself but also create a healthier, more balanced foundation for supporting those you care about.

If you want your life to change for the better, it is you my dear friend who will change it.

This episode is for anyone feeling the weight of a loved one’s struggles, offering a perspective that brings hope, empathy, and resilience. Tune in, take a breath, and some small action, knowing that you are not alone here.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or amanda@addictionmakesthree.com

Are we Instagram friends?

Book in a friendly chat about your situation and how it can be better: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into a fear that many face in the journey of supporting a loved one with addiction: relapse.

Whether your loved one has relapsed before, or you’re constantly worried it might happen, this conversation is here to bring clarity, strength, and hope.

Relapse can feel like a devastating setback, leaving you questioning if all the hard work and progress have been wasted. But it doesn’t have to mean starting from zero. In this episode, we explore the difference between a lapse and a relapse—a crucial distinction that can completely change the way you approach your loved one’s journey and your own response.

We’ll talk about the mindset shift needed in how we view setbacks and stumbles and see them as part of change rather than its end, with a few practical analogies that help reframe these moments. 

What You’ll Learn:

• The key difference between a lapse and a relapse and why it matters
• How to reframe setbacks with compassion and understanding for both of you
• Practical steps to support your loved one and yourself in a positive way during challenging times
• Tools to help you helpfully navigate your emotions, thoughts, and responses
• Why language matters here.