Beans On Toast

Ep. 120 - Dreams Are At Home

Sun, 23 Jan 2022 17:44:25 GMT

Covid goes wild, predictioning, Apprentice taxi analysis, and more

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Ep. 119 - Hearts Of Oak

Sun, 16 Jan 2022 13:44:08 GMT

But how much oak? Also, a new favourite team, and a look at this week’s Apprentice.

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Ep. 118 - Milky Meth

Sun, 02 Jan 2022 19:53:36 GMT

The podcast’s third birthday, with lots of the usual stuff and a couple of surprises.

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Ep. 117 - Steel Trumpet

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 17:41:04 GMT

Repair Shop drama, the F1 demon, and an interview with Norris Johnson.

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Ep. 116 - Don’t Be Mad

Sun, 14 Nov 2021 16:50:14 GMT

Living in a tree, audience size arguing, nuns, predictions, and another gang member joins us.

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Ep. 115 - Announce The Headquarters

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 20:10:09 GMT

Laughing as illness, long words, a Nunwatch breakthrough, and Christmas gift ideas.

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Ep. 114 - Cheer Up Viscacha

Sat, 09 Oct 2021 19:36:45 GMT

Household weapons, some miserable rodents, and Sir William Cockerfield joins us.

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Ep. 113 - Michael From The Dancing Parrots

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 16:25:41 GMT

Some Latvian football updates and an interview with the leader of one of Oxiepills’ top gangs.

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Ep. 112 - Car Wash

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 16:54:45 GMT

A predicting nightmare, a kitten office, and we go on the road again.

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Ep. 111 - Dentist Insect

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 18:28:32 GMT

Kidnapping, an Oscar toilet break, a brilliant football badge, and a car wash plan.

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Ep. 110 - Worst Episode Ever

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 16:44:20 GMT

Covid origins, upside down rhinoceroses, rice, stolen mouthwash, and a Tukums update.

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Ep. 109 - Teeth Removal And Hair Loss

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 16:42:21 GMT

Sam Delaney is our special guest and we run through our guess at the final Premier League table.

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Ep. 108 - This Is Golden Times

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 16:39:40 GMT

Blinking, accidentally doing stuff, a poor African nation, and a kitten update

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Ep. 107 - The Gerbils Are Irrelevant

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 15:36:17 GMT

We’re back! With updates on Bonny the kitten and all the other animals (dead and alive), as well as some predictions.

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Ep. 106 - The Bonny Episode

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 20:49:42 GMT

A look ahead to Euro 2020 and the introduction of a kitten to Beans HQ.

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Ep. 105 - You Can’t Get Sacked From Snooker

Thu, 27 May 2021 17:59:31 GMT

A major development, a couple of excuses, fake news and a brand new character.

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Ep. 104 - Let The Poll Breathe

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 18:36:24 GMT

A look back at good bits, another attempt to contact Fuchs, and a Twitter vote at @beansontoastpod

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Ep. 103 - Lottery Glory

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 18:30:14 GMT

Beans picks the winning numbers, we miss out on the podcast awards, and some thoughts on the Super League.

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Ep. 102 - The Car Episode

Thu, 15 Apr 2021 13:55:10 GMT

We drove around for 20 minutes for this episode. It was probably a really stupid idea.

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Ep. 101 - Bust Foot

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 19:03:13 GMT

An exciting unboxing, dreams of FootGolf, fake news, and more.

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Ep. 100 - The 100

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 20:34:30 GMT

It's our 100th episode! Mazure!

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Ep. 99 - The 99

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 16:27:13 GMT

Acquiring a thing, holiday plans, remembering pizza, and being isolated again.

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Ep. 98 - Ask Us Stuff

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 17:25:13 GMT

Your questions, nun rules, Freddo prices, Latvia, and a gut reaction to potatoes.

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Ep. 97 - Hiccups

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 18:14:42 GMT

A covid test, feathers, no biscuits, football, and a new language.

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Ep. 96 - Constant Beeps

Fri, 26 Feb 2021 18:10:32 GMT

Vaccines, playing in the oil, road plans, underscores and dots and more.

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Ep. 95 - Nunwatch Development

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 18:01:03 GMT

A great week for Sunderland, a biscuit review, and plastic gloves.

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Ep. 94 - Skeleton Guitar

Fri, 12 Feb 2021 17:09:06 GMT

Tiredness, sledging, dead pirates, and the end of a TV show.

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Ep. 93 - Orange Smarties Conspiracy

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 15:30:15 GMT

A live FA Cup final, predictions, and winged spiders with cameras.

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Ep. 92 - Sunday Afternoon

Sun, 24 Jan 2021 14:17:36 GMT

Lockdown relaxing, the bowls, Ozil’s legacy, and a dog in an armchair.

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Ep. 91 - Is Money?

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 17:37:20 GMT

Bitcoin, Lank Frampard, relaxing, and some animal guests.

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Ep. 90 - Hibernating Nuns

Sat, 09 Jan 2021 22:48:37 GMT

Fireworks, online education, conspiracies, predictions, and more.

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Ep. 89 - Oh Coventry!

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 19:42:40 GMT

Resolutions, custard, football, board games, insults and more.

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Ep. 88 - Stupid Monkey Ban

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 17:30:49 GMT

A new law, double nun update, fresh Tukums info, a pie review and more.

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Ep. 87 - Sad Tukums News

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 18:51:57 GMT

Updates from Latvia, chat about I’m A Celeb, insults, football, lottery numbers and a plea for a PS5.

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Ep. 86 - Bang Average

Thu, 26 Nov 2020 20:03:40 GMT

Diego Maradona, Latvian football, a pie review, and a nice song at the end.

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Ep. 85 - Chicken Coma

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 17:51:49 GMT

A meteorite, Match Attax, a lightbulb, football news and much much more.

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Ep. 84 - PS5 Controller Unboxed

Thu, 12 Nov 2020 17:47:55 GMT

Unboxing something that you can’t see, a new podcast is announced, and a confusing ending.

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Ep. 83 - Tukums!

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 18:56:08 GMT

A Guy Fawkes quiz, bonfire fear, a sim, some drilling, and Captain Positive’s lockdown tips.

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Ep. 82 - Animal Voice

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 15:52:15 GMT

Funny names, Nunwatch rules, tea, and whacking golf balls.

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Ep. 81 - Prime Minister Rashford

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 18:13:50 GMT

Toast 2012, kids bikes, a broken nose, young nuns and why kids should eat.

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Ep. 80 - Chicken Tonight

Thu, 15 Oct 2020 16:06:23 GMT

Talking too fast, an afro challenge, nature’s snakes, The Wall, and some sauce anger.

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Ep. 79 - Man/Dog Stand-Off

Thu, 08 Oct 2020 18:22:47 GMT

A football toy, some football talk, some ASMR, some mispronunciations, and a weird ‘joke’.

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Ep. 78 - Positive Returns

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 19:41:28 GMT

Trump, nuns, chocolate, an intruder, squeaking, predicting, a noise, and a comeback.

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Ep. 77 - Eat Smell

Thu, 24 Sep 2020 18:12:53 GMT

Baddies, headbutts, Covid isolation, Zlatan, and a pie review. (This episode is sponsored by beeps)

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Ep. 76 - Ghosts And Jumping

Thu, 17 Sep 2020 16:45:54 GMT

Beans’ school day, a Hula Hoops review, a new lockdown, nuns, predictions, and Susan from the canteen.

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Ep. 75 - Football’s Back Again!

Thu, 10 Sep 2020 18:08:36 GMT

Predictions for the weekend and the season, and some scary fish-related facts.

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Ep. 74 - Back To School Special

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 17:39:33 GMT

DJ Beans is back in the classroom - plus some shocking deodorant news, a Messi update and the usual personal insults.

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Ep. 73 - Cake And Shredding

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 16:45:26 GMT

Back to school chat and some football news, plus nuns, fats, saturates and more!

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Ep. 72 - Snooker Contract

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 18:36:32 GMT

Is this the return of a much-missed character? Also, reports from the outside world and some news about Abba.

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Ep. 71 - 59

Thu, 06 Aug 2020 20:19:07 GMT

Plans for a trip, insults, nuns, more insults, football, some ASMR, and 59.

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Ep. 70 - A Right Pair of Beyonces

Wed, 29 Jul 2020 16:55:27 GMT

A look back at the football season, a squeaky bone, and a guessing game about Argos.

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Ep. 69 - Neil’s Nickname

Thu, 23 Jul 2020 11:48:38 GMT

China’s islands, the future of the internet, a prediction bonanza, and nuns of course…

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Ep. 68 - The Mark Episode

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 16:46:20 GMT

Hammocks, murder, footballers with secrets, predictions and nuns.

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Ep. 67 - Bloon Bloons and Boom Booms

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 15:28:54 GMT

The Premier League is back! Predictions and thoughts, plus the latest from North Korea…

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Ep. 66 - New Guest

Wed, 10 Jun 2020 16:44:00 GMT

DJ Beans is joined by a different guest host this week - Luke Toast!

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Ep. 65 - Y’knaa

Sat, 23 May 2020 16:58:02 GMT

German prediction fever, a lawnmower, mental health updates, a dog interview and more…

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Ep. 64 - Queen Nun?

Thu, 14 May 2020 18:43:35 GMT

German football is back so we pretend we know about it… plus politics, news, and an Instagram game

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Ep. 63 - Brian Munich

Wed, 06 May 2020 19:21:26 GMT

DJ Beans vs America, the return of football, a song about Bob Ross by DJ Larry, and more…

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Ep. 62 – Selling Cargo

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 22:01:11 GMT

Trump talk, lockdown chat, dream revelations, and some more nice ASMR…

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Ep. 61 – Socks Full Of Sand

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 19:18:23 GMT

How to revive the Premier League, Buffon makes an idiot, Nunwatch, and we rip BGT apart.

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Ep. 60 – Snap The Ruler

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 19:26:15 GMT

We chat about rules and stuff, enjoy some more ASMR, and Buffon pops in with a very special recipe.

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Ep. 59 - Guest Or No Guest?

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 18:52:02 GMT

Are we joined by Leicester City's Christian Fuchs? Listen on and find out. Also, Captain Positive is back and we recommend some music and TV...

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Ep. 58 - Captain Positive

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 20:15:04 GMT

A new guest, an attempt to get another famous one, and a TV recommendation.

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Ep. 57 - Wrong Number

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 16:34:53 GMT

An old man rings us by mistake, we discuss isolation, the future of the football season and how to deal with a kitchen rat.

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Ep. 56 - Corona

Sun, 15 Mar 2020 16:14:00 GMT

There’s no football to talk about - so we’re trying to sort out the Coronavirus crisis instead.

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Ep. 55 - Space Wind

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 20:49:09 GMT

Scottish Roger has had a voice transplant. Nothing else really matters. (Apologies that this episode is eight days late – Andy Toast is to blame)

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Ep. 54 - Whistles Or Death?

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 17:11:10 GMT

Was going to be about whistles but ended up being just as much about death, but we hope it entertains you. As ever, if you've got any complaints, write them down and keep them to yourself.

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Ep. 53 - Here's The Thing

Thu, 20 Feb 2020 15:33:32 GMT

We're BACK - with some football predictions, some bad counselling, and lots of strong opinions.

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Ep. 52 - Emm... Emm... Emm...

Thu, 30 Jan 2020 17:53:09 GMT

A major Nunwatch development, a privacy breach and we meet Buffon's friend Margaret...

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Ep. 51 - Judge Judy

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 17:13:34 GMT

Among other things, we introduce our new debate section, which is refereed by none other than Judge Judy off the telly...

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Ep. 50 - Fill In The Forms

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 17:53:22 GMT

Andy Toast tries to take control of the podcast, plus a visit from Scottish Roger and lots of other stuff...

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Ep. 49 - Birthday Beans!

Fri, 03 Jan 2020 23:08:56 GMT

It's our first anniversary (plus two days). We look back at our favourite bits, do some ASMR and maybe the NunWatch deadlock is broken...?

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Ep. 48 - Squeak Squeak!

Tue, 31 Dec 2019 22:19:12 GMT

Oscar the Dog tries to get involved again - meanwhile, DJ Beans celebrates his birthday while he and Andy Toast ask each other lots of questions.

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Ep. 47 - Stamford Bridge Showdown

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 19:45:08 GMT

Find out what happened in the Flanagan War between Scottish Roger and Gary Cahill... and some other stuff...

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Ep. 46 - Prepare For Flanagan War

Thu, 19 Dec 2019 18:43:04 GMT

Scottish Roger assembles an army, DJ Beans helps us all to relax, plus lots lots more...

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Ep. 45 - Flanagans?

Tue, 10 Dec 2019 17:46:20 GMT

Why you should always wet your flanagan before you attack someone with it, even if it’s Scottish Roger. Plus, lots of other stuff and a terrible rain storm.

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Ep. 44 - The One That Didn't Really Flow

Thu, 05 Dec 2019 20:42:00 GMT

Something wasn't quite right about this episode and it definitely wasn't the best one we've ever done. Sorry - we'll do better next week.

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Ep. 43 - Part Man Part Lamb

Tue, 26 Nov 2019 18:11:33 GMT

How to cook a Jose Mourinho cold, a Scottish Roger transformation, predictions, news and other stuff…

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Ep. 42 - 28 Spaghetti Baguettes

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 20:05:33 GMT

Another cheesecake review, fake news, player of the week, an interview with Oscar the dog and plans for a Beans On Toast puppet show.

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Ep. 41 - Ms. Molly's Cheesecake

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 17:13:57 GMT

Our new food review section, a nun-spotting breakthrough, football predictions, nougat, and a cat bed.

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Ep. 40 - Roger Returns

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 22:40:57 GMT

Scottish Roger is back and so is Buffon. Louse Mouse has been bullied again though and there’s an exciting NunWatch development.

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Ep. 39 - The Story Of Oscar

Tue, 15 Oct 2019 16:05:07 GMT

The origin tale of the podcast's dog - plus some stuff about football, racism, nuns, and bullying by Billy Sharp

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Ep. 38 - Standing And Clapping

Wed, 09 Oct 2019 19:50:36 GMT

Donald Trump, football racism, Louse Mouse, football predictions, exciting Nunwatch, and lots of other stuff...

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Ep. 37 - Hello Louse Mouse

Wed, 02 Oct 2019 19:40:27 GMT

A new guest, some old guests, some predicting and some other stuff.

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Ep. 36 - Alan Pardew’s Locker

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 13:48:23 GMT

Buffon cooks Peppa Pig, Scottish Roger disgusts everyone, there’s a NunWatch breakthrough and loads of other stuff…

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Ep. 35 - Bacon Sandwich School

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 19:45:12 GMT

How to cook FIFA 20, how to borrow some dogs from China, and lots of other stuff.

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Ep. 34 - Lobster Festival

Thu, 12 Sep 2019 13:30:26 GMT

Scottish Roger goes to Dublin, Buffon tells us how to prepare another delicious meal and we do our fastest NunWatch so far...

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Ep. 33 - Making Charlie Adam

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 19:27:05 GMT

Cookery with Buffon, Scottish Roger and the Angel of the North, predicting, and lots of other stuff. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter and Insta @beansontoastpod

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Ep. 32 - Scottish Roger And The Cyprus Cats

Tue, 27 Aug 2019 20:09:09 GMT

We're podcasting from abroad this week - there's some serious football talk, some predictions and Scottish Roger has even come with us!

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Ep. 31 - PUUUUUKKKKKIIIII

Tue, 20 Aug 2019 17:57:23 GMT

Lots of the usual stuff plus a visit from a high-profile England star and our new 'player of the week' feature...

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Ep. 30 - SHUT UP!!!

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 17:17:47 GMT

All the usual bits of stuff and we reveal the new free agent footballer that we're trying to sign.

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Ep. 29 - Premier League Preview

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 18:23:17 GMT

We look at the major transfer deals of the summer and predict the Premier League positions from the top to the bottom.

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Ep. 28 - Announce Cahill!

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 17:24:01 GMT

Does Gary Cahill finally sign for us? And what is Buffon cooking? And why are we talking about Brexit? All those questions and more... answered!

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Ep. 27 - Don't Lie About Nuns

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 10:15:03 GMT

Predicting, nuns, mashed potato, Brexit, and loads of other stuff...

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Ep. 26 - Prediction King

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 11:13:05 GMT

Who will win the summer prediction league? And how many nuns have we seen this week? And what will Buffon cook next? That and other questions answered...

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Ep. 25 – Gary Cahill’s Demands

Tue, 16 Jul 2019 21:36:18 GMT

We get closer to our dream summer signing, bring the summer prediction league to an end, hear another Gigi Buffon recipe, and lots more…

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Ep. 24 - Whispering N’Golo

Tue, 09 Jul 2019 20:22:52 GMT

A couple of mysterious brand new characters and lots of the other stuff you love so much…

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Ep. 23 – Russiaaaaaaaa

Tue, 02 Jul 2019 16:22:53 GMT

Deodorant, nuns, snakes, cats, predictions, energy and much much more.

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Ep. 22 - Nun Frenzy

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 20:25:21 GMT

A major NunWatch development, some predictions, and Scottish Roger gets caught up in a hurricane.

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Ep. 21 - Cream Cakes

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 14:31:39 GMT

More attempts to lure Gary Cahill, some arguing, PrisonWatch, and Scottish Roger getting up to some very dodgy business...

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Ep. 20 - Sausages or Burgers?

Tue, 11 Jun 2019 20:29:04 GMT

We do some international predicting, Scottish Roger signs TWO contracts; plus a NunWatch update and a stolen toothbrush…

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Ep. 19 - Boiling The Eggs

Tue, 04 Jun 2019 16:49:02 GMT

An interview with Oscar Toast that might or might not be good - plus lots of the regular stuff you all love so much.

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Ep. 18 - Beans Meets Bob

Wed, 29 May 2019 15:04:01 GMT

DJ Beans interviews Bob Mortimer, Scottish Roger gets involved with some nuns and there's some other stuff...

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Ep. 17 - NunWatch

Mon, 20 May 2019 18:14:26 GMT

Nuns, football transfers, Scottish Roger at the prom and ships v trains with Pique and Umtiti…

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Ep. 16 – Prediction Showdown

Wed, 15 May 2019 08:32:32 GMT

The prediction league comes to a dramatic end, there’s a game review and we learn more about Scottish Roger’s life.

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Ep. 15 - 31 Seconds In Germany

Wed, 08 May 2019 17:08:37 GMT

We find out how old Scottish Roger is, encounter Gerald Pique's pain, try to sign a top footballer, and do some high-speed predicting...

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Ep. 14 - Joe Cool

Wed, 01 May 2019 19:32:46 GMT

Andy Toast wears his sunglasses, and Scottish Roger goes to Australia for exactly one minute.

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Ep. 13 - InstaChimp

Thu, 25 Apr 2019 22:41:19 GMT

All of the usual stuff AND a chimpanzee that knows how to work Instagram!

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Ep. 12 - Cup Of Tea

Wed, 17 Apr 2019 18:34:48 GMT

Andy Toast forces DJ Beans to make a cuppa, we do some predictions and Scottish Roger gets his market stall stock taken away by security.

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Ep. 11 - Old Apple Core

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 22:16:57 GMT

All the usual stuff, and an old apple core... oh, and an old football manager who's now running a shop...

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Ep. 10 - Wembley Weekend

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 10:45:05 GMT

As part of our Wembley weekend, we visited Acast's studio to record this one with two special guests.

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Beans On Toast Ep 9

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 20:27:26 GMT

An attack of the hiccups, a visit from Scottish Roger and a massive argument between Barcelona stars Gerald Pique and Samuel Umtiti...

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Beans On Toast Ep 8

Wed, 20 Mar 2019 20:34:42 GMT

Andy Toast is the guest again - there's some football predictions, another visit from Scottish Roger and a bit of bickering...

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Beans On Toast Ep 7

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 17:59:46 GMT

DJ Beans tells a brilliant joke about a zoo, Scottish Roger has been up in the air, and we catch up with some football happenings...

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Beans On Toast Ep 6

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 22:39:22 GMT

With special guest Andy Toast AGAIN, DJ Beans celebrates Sunderland getting to Wembley, and we have another encounter with Scottish Roger...

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Beans On Toast Ep 5

Sun, 03 Mar 2019 13:05:36 GMT

Looking back at our football predictions and an interview with our friend Scottish Roger...

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Beans On Toast Ep 4

Sun, 24 Feb 2019 21:07:07 GMT

A football special, looking back at the Carabao Cup final and with a special guest - a robot that we've borrowed from another podcast...

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Beans On Toast Ep 3

Tue, 05 Feb 2019 21:43:16 GMT

A bit of talk about school, football and lots of father/son bickering.

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Beans On Toast Ep 2

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 16:29:38 GMT

Football news from the transfer shed and some other stuff...

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The Beginning

Wed, 02 Jan 2019 18:26:10 GMT

Welcome to the first episode of Beans On Toast, hosted by me, DJ Beans and my special guest Andy Toast.

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