The Luke and Pete Show

Leave the Tortoise Alone

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 04:00:00 GMT

Mr Donaldson's about to turn 45 and frankly Luke is shocked he made it this far. Before the big day, though, he’s off to WrestleMania in Vegas. Fingers crossed he runs into Kash Patel.

Today’s show is an animal-heavy one, as Luke and Pete exchange stories about well-endowed donkeys and investigate recent happenings surrounding the world’s oldest land animal, Jonathan the Tortoise. The late, great Harambe gets a mention, too.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday.

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Schrödinger’s Poo

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 04:00:00 GMT

Pete’s been using an angle grinder and it’s made his cabin smell awful. Luke’s son is reassuring him that he hasn’t done a poo. All is right in the world.

Today’s topics include the natural beauty of Norfolk, the deaths of Margaret Thatcher and Osama Bin Laden and the wonders of what3words. Don’t die in an embarrassing quadrant, whatever you do.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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A Balustrade Tragedy

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 04:00:00 GMT

Pete’s got a new project and it’s nearly claimed his life already. It involves walls, glass, vans and a great deal of calamity. Before any of that, though, there’s a more serious matter to attend to: what defines “European-strength” pornography?

Also on today’s episode, we've got exploding appendixes and plenty of listener correspondence, including a new potential segment titled “Earnest or Irritating?” Mr Donaldson will decide whether an influencer’s output is essentially likable and sincere or jarring and cynical. Get your suggested subjects in.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Ten American Men

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 04:00:00 GMT

Under the microscope this fine Monday: the land of the free and the home of the brave. Luke and Pete discuss the recent passing of Robert Mueller, Kash Patel’s shoes and pink hair in the FBI.

Staying on the subject of the US of A, Mr Moore has a challenge for Mr Donaldson. Can he name any ten American men? There’s literally only one way to find out.

Plus, we’ve got a new mission for you, the listener. How accurately (or inaccurately) is your profession typically depicted in the media? Get in touch.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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AKA the Bronx

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke laments the inherent meekness of the British and their aversion to revolution. Thank God for a new set of golf clubs to lift his spirits a bit. Pete, meanwhile, is getting stuck in the long grass of naming conventions and the business of double-barrelling.

We’ve also got a bizarrely-decorated hard hat to investigate and the origin of a nickname to explain.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The Last Men on Earth

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 04:00:00 GMT

If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: primates and Lime Bikes would be involved.

Also up for discussion are parking tickets, jarring tonal shifts in hip-hop and an email about bubbly water.

Plus, we find out what Pete was up to in the 90s.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Elderly Japanese Lady Golfer

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do.

On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the past and present, as well as those of golfers and middle-aged men more generally. Not only that, but there’s an offering for the Battery Robot and some big news concerning Afroman.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Goodnight to the Metaverse

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on this fine Monday because video game faces have been yassified and, $80 billion later, the Metaverse is dead.

Elsewhere, Luke shouts out Denis Norden and David Niven’s wartime pasts and Pete gives his thoughts on contemporary British and Irish stars of the screen.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Wet Music and Big Shoes

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Luke’s distaste for what he calls “wet music” might have ruined a recent night out, but his negativity is no match for Pete’s beef with a certain Instagram content creator. Also on today’s agenda: robots on mental health walks, video game discussions and a massive question of the day from Mr Moore: "why are we acting like WWIII isn’t already happening?"

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Drinking is the Abraham

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episode, the guys reminisce/have flashbacks about the time Pete was rescued by a lifeguard named Abraham and Luke brings a meat shower to the table.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Mongo the Chimpfluencer

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out.

Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from the cryptozoological to the regular kind of zoological when chimpanzees become the focus of the discussion. Trigger warning: includes details of a brutal real-life chimp attack. This is not one for the squeamish. But there’s a nice chaser in store: Pete’s “sexy” MSN pranks.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Wild Moldovan Dogs

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he could have.

Staying on the theme of states and nations, Luke and Peter touch on the war in the Middle East and how certain Dubai residents have reacted to it.

And on an entirely different note, there’s a good amount of potty training chat. Truly something for everybody in this episode.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The House You Can Aggressively Have Access To

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in and claim land in Connecticut.

Plus, Pete has been dragged into a six-quid Vinted dispute over some trousers that were definitely brown in the photo and has emerged victorious, slightly guilty, heartfelt hospital stories and a new genre of music called Egg Punk — *basically* as it sounds.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Chess and Chest Presses

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, getting a blister while dodging a man carrying a slab of MDF, and fancifully thinking about taking up boxing. We've all been there.

Elsewhere, Luke continues to beat Pete at chess and will not let him forget it. Plus, retro video games we'll never finish, debating whether Pete Hegseth's bench press is impressive and Luke witnessing a catastrophically cringe question asked in front of a thousand people.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Obama’s Extraterrestrials

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s getting into chess and Tommy Robinson is still a horrible grifter.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Something Fishy About the Biscuits

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun? Also on today’s menu: framemogging, Sci-Fi literature, hot tamales and, crucially, supermarket biscuits. Pete reckons this thing goes all the way to the top.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The Ice Have It

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for Peter, a truly dreadful man shares his passion for the Toyota Century.

There’s also some ice bath chat, a big battery submission and a brief look back at Pete’s dating history.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The Happy Promptman

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people produced by one small Scottish town.

Plus, we have a look at a beautiful radio owned by Luke’s grandad and find out what Pete’s father makes of AI.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The Six-Sheep Threshold

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

We kick off today’s episode with a look back on the good and the bad of 1990s cartoons and satire, before taking a moment to appreciate the late, great John Virgo.

What’s more, there’s some battery business and listener correspondence to attend to. A Network Rail gentleman tells Luke and Pete a bit more about animals being hit by trains.

Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Peter, it’s Paella Time

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Mr Donaldson’s just got in from another European trip, this time to the land of tapas and seashell-adorned buildings. Today’s topics include punctuation, close calls with rental car companies and the death of the Metaverse. Plus, loads of limestone might be cheaper than you think.

Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Too Many Stick Insects

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Disturbing psychological conditions, Disney cruises and the obscenity of billionaires. Variety is the spice of life.

Plus, there’s plenty of love around here for Harry Hill and plenty of time to marvel at the sheer number of species out there. Remember, there are always more armadillos than you think.

Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Always Smell the Beef

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things.

On an equally cheery note, the guys discuss the limits of their animal-killing capacities, as well as those of train drivers. Also, worming a cat is no joke. Happy Monday everyone.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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A Cow’s a Silly Animal

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads.

Things get more controversial when Luke has his say about lager consumption alongside a curry (is it really that good of a pairing?) and the guys take a look at the curious case of Veronika the Austrian cow. She may or may not be doing wonders for the reputation of her species’ intelligence. Also, raw milk is definitely still disgusting.

Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The Many Cakes of Tom Cruise

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, had to deal with an American-style shared room. The stuff of nightmares nowadays.

Elsewhere, the guys discuss the Beckham family drama and wonder precisely how many cakes Mr Tom Cruise is sending out at Christmas. Place your bets.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Fascinating Problematic Characters

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios…

As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxing bros continuing to shoot themselves in the reproductive organs in their quest for hotness - as well as the Tate Brothers conducting their own Donaldson weekender.

Plus, the big questions answered: who are our own Top G influencers? What’s the best substance to soak your hands in before fighting? How to best bribe your children? What’s the optimum time to have dinner? Consider this a public service to you all.

Battery Robot has had his firmware update and needs to guzzle down on your submissions! Get them into: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Is Bailey’s egg-based?

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, at least he wasn’t getting high on his own pork supply like Pete was at Leicester City.

Plus: the relentless abundance of political weirdos, tricks of the hotel trade and metal bands fronted by literal children. Just another Monday with your podcast dads…

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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The Rest is Pete’s History

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

After dancing delicately through Luke’s recent toilet trouble for a good ten minutes, we find out that Pete’s been buying radar keys on eBay. Doth the cap fit, n all that.

Elsewhere, we rate the last meals of Ivan the Terrible, Hitler and various other horrible men, and we officially dispel the myth of the WWI Christmas Day football match - and we are definitely the first podcast to work that out. Plus, disappointing curry dispatches from Indian restaurants in the US.

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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What's That Cash For, Sir?

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

I know what you're thinking - if I download this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, what can I expect to hear? Well, first off you're going to hear about a really expensive tuna. After that you're going to find out all about what it's like trying to get cash out of a bank these days, a conversation which naturally evolves into Pete's latest run in with the taxman, and after that there's a bit of chat about looksmaxxing, something that you will be genuinely worse off for hearing about.

But don't let that put you off! And send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. DO IT NOW!

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Hand Warmers of Various Types

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Hello and welcome back to what feels like a podcast at the end of the world. Put it this way, Pete is desperate to know where he can secure regular asthma medication from as we edge ever closer to the abyss.

In the meantime, the lads still find time to talk about purchasing paint, why you shouldn't urinate in the sink, and Axl Rose's performing habits. There's also adverts for soup, a very welcome New Year's appearance from Battery Robot, and the question on everyone's lips - will Luke and Pete invade Greenland?

New Year, new questions? Only one place to put them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Who Let the Wallabies Out?

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Looking back on it, how weird was Covid? Luke and Pete share some of their oddest memories of a strange time, before going on to chat about potential new pandemics, executions and the story of pellagra in the Deep South.

After that, they open up the email pipes and hear your stories about wallabies in the Midlands, guide dogs failing their training and a food poisoning story with a twist. To get involved yourself, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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50 Shades of Paté

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

The Luke and Pete Show is back for another year, and what better way to start 2026 than to have a deep and fairly involved conversation about paté? And when does a paté become a parfait? And when does it become a terrine?

Elsewhere, Pete needs a new fridge, the lads run the rule over Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl, and there's plenty of other chat besides. Oh, and are we starting off the year with a brand new player into the Battery Daddy? Tune in to find out...

New Year, new questions? Only one place to put them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Got Any Old Beef?

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Pete's beef wellington didn't quite go to plan on Christmas Day, due to some promises made by a butcher that simply weren't kept. But did he let that setback deter him? Tune in to find out.

Elsewhere, there's some sizable kebab shop chat, Pete has been wrestling with His Majesty's Revenue and Customs again, and the boys hear from a listener who developed food poisoning in one of the most impressive locations on Earth. Oh, and Luke's put his house on the market - first port of call? Bothering the property photographer with annoying questions about photoshop and shutter speeds...

Christmas-related comments or queries? Only one place to put them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Three Noel Edmonds Coasters and a Christmas Samurai

Thu, 25 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Merry Christmas everyone! Luke and Pete muster on Christmas Day to deliver you a festive, bumper edition of the Luke and Pete Show, because they know it's what you all asked for from Santa...

This time around there's chat about Jake Paul's broken jaw (truly a Christmas present for everyone, that), a truly bizarre claim from the husband of an ex-Blue Peter presenter, some server chat from Pete because it's his Christmas as well, and then Luke wraps things up by playing "What's Pete doing at this time on Christmas Day?" (Hint: it mostly involves farts).

Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy the festive season!

Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Experiencing Paddington

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Pete has been hanging out with one of the world's most famous bears, and do you know what? He bloody enjoyed it. But the feel-good chat doesn't last very long, and before they know it the lads are taking in their listeners' best food poisoning stories.

Elsewhere, there's raccoons. Or rather, one particular raccoon that keeps escaping...

Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A Night in a Hostel

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to a new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! As we build up towards Christmas, the lads talk presents, including a very thoughtful gift Pete has been working on. Ah, bless. Unfortunately he reverts to type fairly shortly after that after his gastric problems come back and he finds himself stranded in London with nowhere to go.

Luke and Pete also find time to hear from an American that enjoyed a strange experience upon visiting Camden, and there's one or two carpet anecdotes as well. What more do you need?

Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Finally! A Podcast Episode About Food Poisoning

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

How is Pete preparing his turkey for Christmas dinner this year? By sticking it in the freezer, of course. Pray for his guests, particularly when it sounds like the rest of the day's food is going to be cooked in his airfryer.

Elsewhere, and as the title suggests, the lads discuss several tales of food poisoning (unrelated to Pete's cooking, it has to be said), there's a good trip down memory lane discussing old video games and, for some reason, Pete attempted to close out the episode by speaking some Welsh.

Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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The Worst Snack of all Time

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Pete's been out on the lash again, and you simply will not believe his drunken food of choice. Honestly, you could have a thousand guesses and you'd never get it.

In other news this week, Luke is really hitting all the major milestones of middle age by taking up golf, there's some impassioned follow ups from listeners in our great airfryer debate, and the lads also reminisce about time they've spent in Istanbul. Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Airfrying Your Big Toe

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Christmas is coming and so the inevitable Pete Donaldson/Luke Moore airfryer debate simply must rear its ugly head. Can Pete honestly be planning to cook his family's Christmas lunch in such a contraption? One can only speculate at this early stage.

We are also blessed this time around with plenty of big toe chat, a mysterious advent calendar-themed email, and some truly excellent travel tips for those attending The O2. As ever, it's a smorgasbord of conversational topics, none of which are important but all of which are in their own way nevertheless absolutely vital. Tune in and subscribe!

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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TV Show Anxiety

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show! This time around, the lads start, as all great podcasts do, with chat about the seminal PC game Lemmings 2: The Two Tribes. Was exposure to it as a young man responsible for Luke's anxiety in adulthood? Seriously, it was a *really* stressful game.

There's also time to really run the rule over Noel Edmonds and his blatant writing of the Noel's House Party Wikipedia page, the Paul Daniels vehicle Every Second Counts, and plenty of other nonsense besides, including your battery submissions of course.

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A Geriatric Man of the Match Award

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Has Christmas started even earlier this year? If so, why? And what's the attraction of adult lego?

Just two of the questions that the Luke and the Pete attempt to answer on this episode, the inaugural missive of December. And while we're on the subject of the festive period now the final month of the year is upon us, one of our listeners gets in touch to recommend a Christmas reading of the 9/11 Commision Report, and do you know what, Luke might just give it a bash.

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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On The Lash in Leicester

Thu, 27 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Yes indeed, as the title suggests, Peter has been to the historic city of Leicester, home of his alma mater the iconic De Montfort University, to have a legendary night on the sauce with some old pals. "But where did he go? What hostelries did he patronise?" we hear you ask! Er, it was basically just O'Neill's. Did he have a brilliant time though? Tune in to find out.

Elsewhere, the lads marvel at the terminology and behaviour of self-described Pick Up Artists, there's incredulity at the range of spirits available to purchase in Aldi, and Battery Robot of course pops in to say hello and get a feed.

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Toilet Plates

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

What has Pete been up to this week? Now there's a question to strike fear into the heart of men, but worry not! Because the answer basically extends to him cleaning some windows, going to see some stand up comedy for charity and typing some quite unusual things inton ChatGPT.

Also on today's episode, the lads also talk about the dot com boom, run the rule over their favourite type of labourer bigger boys, and then hear from a listener who's family member has been doing some truly demented things with food leftovers.

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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The Radio Doctor Will See You Now

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Pete tells Luke about his time volunteering on hospital radio before revealing that he was never given a slot on his university's radio station Demon FM ("music with a sting in its tail"), despite his obvious presenting talent. While we're on the subject, we hear from a listener who called into a local radio station competition and totally embarrassed himself in a bid to win £1000.

Elsewhere, we hear yet again from the insatiable Battery Robot, and Ian Holloway pops into the studio for a chat!

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Cyst to Kidney, done deal!

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The sheer range of subjects covered on today's episode boggle the mind. Today's topics include, but are not limited to, Pete's Christmas cake recipe, how to beat a bear in a fight, things that are dangerously poisonous, Roman emperors, Russell Crowe, and unwelcome presences on a kidney.

The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

See you soon!

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Hot, fresh gallium delivered to your door

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 06:00:00 GMT

It seems strange to say it but we now live in a world where one can have high-quality gallium delivered to one's home the very next day. Is Pete taking advantage of that societal development? You'll have to listen to find out.

Pete follows the gallium chat by challenging Luke to a snooker showdown, a challenge that Luke approaches like a bull being presented with a red rag. Elsewhere, there's Boston Dynamics chat, Battery Robot receives a battery from a very stern wife of a listener, and we ruminate on why there are such odd signs on the London Underground network.

You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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AI Slop Pardons

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Behold! 'Tis the season for Christmas adverts! But why is the Coca-Cola one AI generated again? When will they learn, eh?

On today's episode the lads also talk Joe Rogan satire, presidential pardons and finally get to the bottom of the 1991 shooting of a council planning worker by the madman Albert Dryden, courtesy of a listener.

Oh, and there's also breathing tips from the official Danish politician of the Luke and Pete Show. Obviously.

You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Playing baseball with turkeys

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to an all-new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! This time around the lads spend more time than planned on Jamie Oliver, including the truly quaint Turkey Twizzlers incident of 2005. There's also Halloween chat, pirate accents and their origin and Pete forgetting who Greta Thunberg is.

And, the question on everyone's lips is answered - is the Battery Robot getting fed today? All in all, it's classic LAPS fodder. Don't miss it!

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Chinese Takeaway with a Sex Worker

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

In a development that will surprise absolutely no-one, Pete went into The City for a night out and was propositioned by a sex worker. Unfortunately for all concerned, his small talk made the situation considerably worse. And there’s more bad news - the bin situation in Leigh-on-Sea is out of control! And, what’s more, council are taunting local residents about it!

Elsewhere there’s good news for short kings everywhere because the lads find time to appoint a new official leg lengthener of LAPS. Form an orderly queue to be 6ft tall, everyone!

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Arise, Battery Robot!

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Bad news everyone: Peter has been sealing his car and now he absolutely stinks. No matter what he tries, he can't get the stink off. Luke tries to take his mind off of it by telling him the story about how the Israelis captured Adolf Eichmann. Does it work? Not really.

Elsewhere, the lads ruminate on the logistics of having an entirely different and secret extra family, before introducing their newest addition to the Luke and Pete Show community, Battery Robot! Who is he (presumably it's a he)? What is he like? And what does he have for his dinner? Tune in to find out...

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Sodden on the South Coast

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Today we hear all about Luke's experience of the 2025 Great South Run. 10 miles of sheer hell in biblically bad conditions, he nonetheless just about survived to tell the tale. Pete is baffled as to why anyone would even try to run that far anyway, obviously.

Elsewhere, a listener discovers a neighbour with a Remembrance Day-theme doorbell, of all things, and our eponymous hosts also ruminate on why no-one seems to care about Covid anymore.

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Row, Fisherman, Row

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Did you ever play manhunt as a kid? And did it ever end up with you almost dying on some mudflats? Those are just two of the questions Luke and Pete tackle on today's episode, alongside Pete's experiences of Christian camp, why certain types of Christian music is actually pretty good (eg The Congos) and the lads' ability to pass a GCSE these days (English? Maybe. Maths? Hell no.)

There's also three more attempts to enter a new cell into the Battery Daddy! Don't miss it!

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This Isn't a Prank

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

The lesson to take from today's episode is that algorithms will be the death of us all. And what's more, no-one even seems to care. Luke and Pete discuss that, as well as the radicalisation of people they have worked with that used to be normal, before getting stuck into an amazing email about a prank that wasn't actually a prank.

You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Dysfunctional Breathing

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete visits a notable lungman about his wreck of a body. Will he get the answers he so desperately needs? Will he get a new inhaler? And, more importantly, will the doctor peg him?

Despite all of his various ailments, Donny has also found the time to go out on the piss with our mate Vish, and he thinks getting a few beers inside him has probably helped to make him feel better as well. One thing that hasn't made him feel better though is the fact that his daughter is calling every other man apart from him Daddy. Oh dear.

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Big Fat Northern Holiday

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Hello all! The game is afoot on this episode as the lads don their deerstalkers and whip out the magnifying glasses to investigate a blurry picture of Pete and Stephen Merchant at a wedding. Yep, you read that right. Not for the reason you think, they were actually more focused on reflecting the magnifying glasses onto Pete's shiny dome.

Also on the agenda today, Luke's attempt to outdrive Storm Amy, why Northern villages (apparently) used to holiday en masse, how we come to know Bansky's identity and our properly honest, from the heart, feelings about AI. You won't want to miss this, subscribe now!

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Algorithm Busters

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

The lads start today's show by talking about AI girlfriends before having a good old chinwag about large language models (lady, lady, m'lady). After that, attention turns to where all the Billy Liars have gone - they used to be stalwarts in the local pub but have they vanished onto whatsapp groups instead?

There's also time for battery submissions, the nature of memory, and a bit of World War II chat into the bargain. Don't miss it! Subscribe now!

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Peruvian Power Hour

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Behold! Because the lads are back with the usual nonsense, including but not limited to, Old El Paso, Uncle Ben's rice, writing the quiz questions for a DVD extra of Little Britain (speaking of which, how have those lads not been cancelled? And while we're on the subject, when are *we* going to be cancelled?), the video game Darkseed and, if that isn't enough, what's it like trying to do exercise at altitude in Peru?

To contribute to this entirely foul jamboree, get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Train Station Stranger

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete's been on the small talk again, he can't get enough of it these days. This time it was a man that decided to walk with him to the train station after commenting on his car. Did Pete decide to be friends with him, or did he make an excuse about needing a paper ticket and walking off? You'll have to listen in to find out.

There's also chat about Robocop, Pete's retirement plan, and of course your battery submissions. Get involved, Trev!

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My name is Grandma

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

The lads open proceedings by chatting about a picture of Pete's dad's quite strange-looking foot, which has been provided to us in x-ray format via whatsapp. When is a bunion not a bunion? Quickly, discussion progresses to the story on everyone's lips - the advent of Kerry Katona and Katie Price's live tour. Why did Kerry say that about Katie's son Harvey?

Elsewhere, there's hijackings, emails about government procurement and we may have found someone who's actually worse than Pete at small talk. And he's been accused of quite a serious crime...

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Midwest Pete

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Hello everyone and welcome back to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! This time around, the lads imagine what it would be like if Pete grew his ponytail out properly and started running a gas station in the Midwest. Would he get addicted to meth? Instantly.

Speaking of petrol stations, they always sell the duo versions of popular chocolate bars and they also always sell McCoy's crisps. Why? Meanwhile, there's also time to dissect the absolute insanity that is The Donald's latest speech about paracetamol, as well as why Pete is always on the lookout for a DVD copy of K-Pax whenever he heads to Europe.

Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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The Beef Paste Andrew Tate

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Luke is stunned and offended by Pete's bombshell revelation that he can no longer make their planned evening out at the Towngate Theatre in Basildon to see Kerry Katona and Katie Price in conversation. An emotional plea to the Luke and Pete Show community to step into the breach as replacements is the only logical solution.

Elsewhere, there's strong opinions on the idea of pasta for lunch, the worst foods for burps, and Pete makes a strong case for being the nation's first beef paste ambassador. It's all in a day's work.

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Guitar Solo Eye Contact

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome to your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Recording late because Pete forgot about it and decided to take his computer apart instead, the lads aren't deterred and get straight into picking the bones out of Alapacafest 2025, Essex's premium alpaca-themed festival, with tech support provided by Mr Donaldson Esq.

Spoiler alert: no-one was electrocuted! There's always next year though...

Elsewhere Luke gets depressed at internet men drinking Heineken in bed, the lads both admit to being intimidated by music shops, and Mike Tyson drops MrBeast with a body shot - finally a celebrity boxing event we can all get behind!

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Your Guitar Has No Strings

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

It's a pretty guitar-heavy episode today as the lads chat about musical performance-themed anxiety nightmares (Pete's a member of the Smashing Pumpkins in his), different guitar sounds they like, and Liam Gallagher's son's band.

But don't worry non-guitar fans, there's plenty for you to enjoy too! Including cricket, Vinnie Jones trying and failing to get a catchphrase off the ground, Simon Cowell's mental face and a follow up email about the guy from Brewdog. Rejoice in the splendour of ridiculousness that is the Luke and Pete Show!

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Another Glass of Amniotic Fluid, Sir?

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Today's show opens with the bombshell revelation that Peter has enjoyed breakfast with the Oliver twins, creators of the Dizzy franchise! But what did they eat? Eggs, presumably. The lads also find time to revisit one of their favourite talking points - exactly when did it become necessary to drink so much water? Peter thinks it's a waste of time; he got all the hydration he needed from the amniotic fluid in his mother's womb.

Speaking of water, there's a new sewer being dug right outside Luke's house, courtesy of the good people at Thames Water, and before they go there's just enough time to discuss the government's phone alert test and your battery submissions. Onward!

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The World's Oldest Flamingo

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

It's been a crazy few days in the world of Luke and Pete. Peter's had a recent break ruined by the wanton destruction of an animal, Luke's had his week ruined by an exploded snowglobe, and there's some surprising news afoot from the Official GP of The Luke and Pete Show.

Elsewhere, the lads learn about the country's tallest ever policeman as well as take some more submissions for official jobs of the show, a section in which Luke does his best to denigrate yet more noble professions. Send all your complaints to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Coleslaw Mix for the Soul

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

What does male self care mean to you? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this question; to Luke it means going to a football match alone. To Peter it's a dog walk and a wank. Do whatever works for you.

Today on The Luke and Pete Show, Peter is dropping extortionate amounts of money in the NCP, Luke is drinking shandies and doesn't care who judges him (he definitely does), and we explore further why a man has bought the Commodore brand. Oh, and we may have to prise open the Battery Daddy again...

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Uncle Labubu

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete tries to do a nice thing for his niece and ends up tearing around central London on a doomed quest to find a Labubu. The labubu he eventually landed turned out to be fake and probably filled with soiled bandages. Oh well.

The lads also take the time to discuss fake merchandise, mundane celebrity encounters and why a bakery that doesn't serve any food is quite probably destined to fail. Never trust a trendy baker, that's their advice.

Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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The Incognito Butcher

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

After copping a tremendous amount of deserved flak from general practitioners everywhere for his ill-advised comments, Luke is considering shaving off his moustache and keeping a low profile by becoming a butcher's boy. Pete thinks it's a bad idea - too many euphemisms with middle aged women to deal with.

On today's produce-themed episode we also hear about the godfather of British cheese as well as find out why you shouldn't entertain the idea of getting milkmen back. Got milk?

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Pepe le Prawn's Little Door

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Luke's been on a Disney cruise! He tells Pete all about it - the characters appearing out of nowhere and terrifying his son, the amazing places he visited, the idle fantasies about jumping into the briny sea and how long he'd survive. The usual.

On today's episode there's also time to crown an Official General Practitioner of The Luke and Pete Show, and Luke gets in big trouble for saying it's probably quite easy to be a GP. Turns out it isn't. Also, before they sign off for another Monday, the lads ruminate on which finger would be best to cut off. You know, if you absolutely had to.

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Wound Check

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Greetings, all! Where to start this week? Well, Pete celebrated Stak moving offices to central London by heading straight to Harley Street and having a fatty lump cut out of his back. It had to be done - it was stopping him sleeping properly.

After that he tells Luke all about two ferrets he met on a walk this week, and although their owners didn't let him put them down his trousers, he was allowed to hold one of them briefly. What a victory in Pete's continuing quest for improved smalltalk!

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I Trust the Streets

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Today's episode starts with an impassioned debate about whether you can drive both ways over the Queen Elizabeth Bridge in east London. If that doesn't get you excited to tune in, then frankly you're in the wrong place.

The lads then wax lyrical about the ridiculous nature of drug policy in the UK, which then naturally segues into a chat about a bloke that kept medicating himself with colloidal silver to treat his dermatitis and turned his skin completely blue (he's now dead. Obviously).

Finally, Pete is trying to give up pickles, but will a new dill pickle themed beverage tempt him back to the Devil's trough?

Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Little Dirty Pennies

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete's been thinking about opening his own nursery, but stumbles badly over what he'd call it. But never mind all that, because as ever on The Luke and Pete Show there are gherkins to eat, sandwich shops to assess and paper fortune tellers to learn about.

Oh, and have the lads finally found an Official GP of The Luke and Pete Show? And does he know what he's doing? And is being a GP the easiest job in the entire medical profession?

Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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A Little Sweet Treat

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

The lads have moved into a new office and are starting to roll out their best small talk efforts with their new colleagues. But something more pressing is on the agenda today, because Pete fears he may have been propositioned by a man in the local corner shop? And, more importantly, that might mean he can never go back there again.

Elsewhere, there's a weird fantasy bloke on instagram that Pete hates (is jealous of), and we also learn about people drawing their own cartoon strips as kids, with no thought for the IP ramifications.

Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Creating a Human Flute

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Are we living in an entirely new societal system? There's plenty of evidence to suggest we are. And it's called The Peteriarchy. But how many Petes are in charge, and who are they?

Also on your all-new LAPS episode, Luke meets the only person in Britain that doesn't know where the Gallagher brothers are from, we lament the lack of Rocket From the Crypt in everyone's lives, and Pete delivers his treatise on how to perform a tracheotomy. Warning: it's not for the faint hearted.

Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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A National Trevor

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete and Luke are back to ask a question that is surely on the lips of everyone - who is the UK's National Trevor? There's also time to discuss how many cats Ozzy Osbourne killed in his life (clue: it's a lot), and then we talk about our favourite Brixton-based buskers.

Elsewhere, there's the astonishing average age of the Greenland shark, why Pete doesn't like jellied eels, and a listener gets in touch to passionately defend Dutch cuisine. Does he win the lads over? Tune in to find out.

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Powered by Lasagne

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Today on your all-new LAPS portion: Luke meets the Bad Boy of Petanque in the flesh, there's some reminiscing about the abandoned 3D TV revolution and the lads learn about who *really* invented the telephone.

Elsewhere, Luke remembers Good Shoes, Pete remembers Field Music and reveals the surprising thing they're up to now and there is a surprising plot twist in the battery chat. Could a lasagne really end up in the Battery Daddy? Tune in to find out...

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Oven Water

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

What foods would you say are acceptable to eat before midday? Unsurprisingly, Pete doesn't discriminate. Not that he can, mind you; his oven is inexplicably full of water so he can't cook anything anyway.

Meanwhile, Luke is abusing and being abused when it comes to Lime bikes, and one of the lads has been belligerent to celebrated TV historian Dan Snow, and the other has made himself ill on gherkins. When will this nonsense ever end?

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Bathroom blood

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

What's Peter doing in the bathroom with a shard of porcelain stuck in his foot? And why are there bloody footprints everywhere? And more importantly, is it the same foot from which he accidentally squirted a blister over a nun's habit?

Elsewhere, Luke has been to see Neil Young live, reopening last month's very lively debate about ol' Shakey, there's more Drumeo chat, and we marvel at the depths of cringe Drake is able to plumb. Oh, and we may have yet another new player flying into the Battery Daddy...

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Grand Provocateur

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete's fluent in French! Who knew? Did Pete even know until this recording?

The boys discover a definitive list of the world's hardest languages and a listener wonders if it's possible to receive a racist spatula. Plus, why pilots on YouTube are kinda soothing and Luke tells Pete once and for all: stop buying me lattes I don't drink.

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Magna Carta Men

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

What's your favourite internet fight? Luke and Pete list a few contenders, including a man getting told he's about to be thrown into a lake before being quite literally thrown into a lake.

Elsewhere, the lads follow up Monday's music chat with a deep dive into a technical brutal death metal band that only write songs about Ancient Egypt, find out that Pete's dream festival involves quite a lot of potted meat, and still find the time to assess your latest battery submissions. Don't miss it, and make sure to hit subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts.

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Two Stings and a Flea

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

It's something of a music-themed show today as Pete reveals he once interviewed Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and he had something resembling a torture rack in his dressing room. Aside from that we pour doubt on the credibility of Bruce Dickinson's polymath credentials and then get stuck into a bit of Black Sabbath.

Also, have we come full circle in the "what to feed ducks" debate that's been raging around the UK for the last decade or so? Tune in to find out!

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The Waxy Wing Oreo

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete saved a bird's life this week, but can he split the G on a pint of Guinness? And if he can, does that make him a 6 Music Dad?

Elsewhere, the lads finally get around to discussing their highlights of Glastonbury, Luke goes to see the legendary Iron Maiden live and then there's a big old chat about instagram stalwart and professional adman Rory Sutherland, and his weird take on local buses.

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3,200 Cans of Moretti

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Remember when Pete went to Newquay and put his foot through the ceiling of an AirBnB? Well he's once again returned to the scene of the crime, only this time there's another bigger boy there to help him with his parenting.

Meanwhile, Luke somehow picks up two parking tickets in a single day, and a cafe in south London gets an astonishing delivery of beer. Oh, and then an orangutan entertains us all with his tales of derring-do.

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Smooching Noel Edmonds

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

It's a fine Thursday to discuss Pete's most inspirational piece of work yet - a lovely graphic of him kissing Noel Edmonds. Luke's not quite sure why he's done it, and being honest, nor is Pete. Still, it's nothing an entire box of Marc de Champagne truffles can't fix.

The lads also find time to talk about Jeremy Clarkson, and run the rule over your latest battery submissions. How many new players are going to enter the game this week? Tune in to find out!

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Volvo car chase

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like?

Meanwhile Pete is contemplating living off-grid as long as he can have a superfast broadband connection, which kind of defeats the point, and we hear from a genuinely inspirational vigilante Dad who, in a bastardisation of Liam Neeson in Taken, just wants his son's mountain bike back.

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Why do you always let Luke talk over you?

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 04:00:00 GMT

In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his interrupting ways. An event that was sure to test Pete's small talk skills to the very limit. For his part, Luke took the events with his usual good grace, by which we mean he became his trademark belligerent self.

Also today, there's Rik Mayall, Tim Key, the dangers of buying too much outerwear and, of course, your latest battery submissions. Can we find yet another new player? Poke your head in to the tent and find out.

Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Urinating off a diving board

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 04:00:00 GMT

This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving boards? Hope not, hope not. Elsewhere on your LAPS ep du jour we talk cherry trees, Pete's dog going on a mad one with some leeks and the sharing of criminal records between nations. There's also the discovery of an adorable new television show involving toddlers doing everyday tasks. Join us!

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The Sacred Pub

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Pete’s riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn’t celebrating – he’s staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the sanctity of the sacred bar area. In protest, he offers up a definitive list of the only pub entertainment he’ll tolerate. Elsewhere, the lads dive into restaurant etiquette. Pete rails against waiters who rush him while Luke boldly declares that small plate restaurants should be made illegal.

Plus, there’s a meat glue follow-up from a concerned emailer, and an appearance from Doctor Donny himself, complete with some very questionable takes on urology.

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Y-Front Nation

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronouncing pain au raisin, leading to a passionate post-Brexit rant about why all baked goods should come with an English translation.

Then, in a shocking turn of events, Pete reveals he’s started wearing Y-fronts unironically… a fact Luke finds deeply unsettling. We also hear about Luke’s teenage BMX-building era, question whether amateur cyclists really need all that Lycra, and debate whether tall people are just naturally more trustworthy.

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Halloumi Boys

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally, today’s big questions are: should we all be allowed to name hire bikes? And should kids ride for free?

Elsewhere, Pete nearly doxxes himself in postcode form, Luke gets nostalgic about beaded taxi seat covers, and the lads confront a painful truth…they've become halloumi boys – and Luke’s had enough of being shamed by performative foodies about it.

Plus, finally, 3 new batteries!

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Brydon? I Hardly Know Him

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to destroy your phone if the police stop you with something dodgy on it…just a hypothetical!

Elsewhere, Luke’s nearly in hives over Pete’s snack-based mic etiquette, Donny has no idea how Rob Brydon ended up in his contacts, and a listener falls asleep on the toilet during a Ramble Live show.

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Luke and Pete are here to discuss some sheet

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questionable Pete and Luke we’ve just stumbled across.

That aside, Luke discusses his new potential career as a sleep coach (“just get your head down”) and we finally crack the Steven Bartlett conundrum. Plus, peculiar places to watch the O.J. Simpson car chase, batteries aplenty and the grim, grey line between what’s socially acceptable and illegal within the confines of your own car.

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Wait, when is the Witching Hour?

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the difficult question: is Keanu Reaves actually terrible at acting?

Elsewhere we get an update from the Bad Boy of Pétanque, hear of badgers terrorising Pete’s local area and a listener’s going to Glastonbury and hasn’t heard of Neil Young - Luke ain’t happy…

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Nigel Farage’s problems with Pete

Thu, 29 May 2025 04:00:00 GMT

We’re keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando’s orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student days. Oh and Pete nearly attempted a park run but got distracted.

Plus, some incredible attempts at New Players and we start building our Mount Rushmore of conspiracy theories #doyourownresearch.

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Funkadelic Franky

Mon, 26 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, the lads kick things off with a classic Jeremy Kyle moment: a man boldly declares he loves cocaine more than his kids. This prompts a discussion on addiction where Luke accuses Pete of being addicted to papier-mâché (he doesn’t deny it) and Pete issues a public warning about glue powders – specifically the deeply cursed meat glue.

Elsewhere, a casual confession about a recent outdoor wee sends them into a surprisingly passionate debate about the regional politics of public urination. And yes, Pete’s still convinced he could build Luke’s house extension. Luke hasn’t yet been persuaded.

Just another completely normal Monday.

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Mothering Wednesday

Thu, 22 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Luke’s livid at the fact he’s stuck with just one Father’s Day while his wife gets to celebrate Mother’s Day in both the UK and US. Meanwhile, Pete’s only just realised you’re supposed to buy your partner a Mother’s Day gift… and it’s her first one, too. Strong start!

Elsewhere, Pete confidently declares Neil Young a B-grade artist, but Luke’s not having any of it. Choosing to rise above Pete’s attempt at antagonising him, he dives into the new Becoming Led Zeppelin doc, while Donny reminisces about working Glasto for the free ticket and reminds us of his golden rule: getting blasted drunk is the only way to enjoy it.

Also on the docket: Chris Eubank Sr’s flawless skin. Naturally.

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2 cats and a Nazi doc

Mon, 19 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Fresh off a Football Ramble tour, the lads recap a monster journey back from Glasgow, including a five-hour delay, a detour through Edinburgh, and a run-in with a wildly unpredictable couple who produced not one but two cats mid-journey. Pete and Vish witnessed it all, while Luke, blissfully unaware, sat back with noise-cancelling headphones and a Nazi documentary.

Elsewhere, the lads get stuck into Glastonbury chat, Luke’s actively praying for a washout, and then take a deep dive into what really makes someone a nepo baby. Does Matty Healy owe it all to his soap-star parents? And if Pete’s daughter ends up in the spotlight, does having two radio DJ parents automatically seal her fate? The lads investigate.

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Met Gala Mayhem

Thu, 15 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Pete kicks things off by unpacking the most scandalous moment of the 2025 Met Gala: Rosa Parks printed on a pair of knickers. Naturally, this leads Luke to ask the big question: are we just getting stupider as a society? Then comes the real shocker…Met Gala tickets cost $75,000. Luke’s astounded, and takes it as the perfect excuse to launch into a full-blown rant about stamp duty and the state of everything.

Plus, Pete pulls the ultimate contrarian move by refusing to watch Adolescence, instead pledging to watch every other show with the same name so he can still join in the chat. And a listener's email sparks a surprisingly grim realisation: are astro turf pitches just giant Petri dishes?...Absolutely.

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Tesco Tyrants

Mon, 12 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Luke poses a crucial hypothetical: if music awards only went to artists who’ve never taken a stimulant… who’d actually be left? The lads then dive into the legacy of “straight-head” rockstars and debate whether Winston Marshall’s post-banjo pivot into far-right politics really counts as a glow-up. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Elsewhere, Pete’s parenting takes a turn after he accidentally locks his baby in the car and has to coach her through unlocking it from the inside. And finally, a listener’s clash with a Tesco jobsworth triggers painful Nectar card flashbacks for Luke.

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Poo Particles

Thu, 08 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

The lads hop aboard the Steven Bartlett hate train, again, and Pete accuses Luke of being just a little jealous. Elsewhere, Luke shares the tale of a house party gone horribly wrong, involving 30 mates, a wax strip, and one extremely unfortunate soul.

Then it’s on to an email special, where Pete proudly declares he’d still jump into a pool even if someone had just done a shit in it…as long as it had been sieved out. His argument? “The water’s touching your arsehole anyway.” Luke isn’t convinced.

Plus, the lads get curious about our new resident LAPS HGV driver…Amphetamines? Sex workers? What is the image of the long-distance trucker in 2025?

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4 Toilet Donaldson

Mon, 05 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Luke’s on a mission to become the most pasty man in Britain, while Pete’s seriously considering a Juicy Couture tracksuit… naturally. Then, the lads weigh in on the Eubank Jr vs Benn fight, the legacy of their famously fiery dads, and Luke recalls being genuinely terrified of Nigel Benn as a ten-year-old.

Also on the docket: is it ever okay to let a builder use your toilet? Pete probably wouldn’t mind, he’s got four, and Luke is absolutely astounded!

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Piss Politics

Thu, 01 May 2025 02:00:00 GMT

After foxes ransack Pete’s nappy bins, Luke suggests a very DIY deterrent: peeing in an Evian bottle to mark his territory… not that he’s speaking from experience. And if he was, he certainly wouldn’t have been caught mid-stream by his wife. Definitely not.

Meanwhile, Pete’s overhydration saga hits rock bottom with a full-bladder emergency on the M25, resulting in an SOS wee right outside of a British Airways training centre. Dignity? Absolutely none.

Plus, Luke solves a listener’s cat poo problem.

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Melatonin Mayhem

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Fresh off the plane back from Vegas, Pete takes aim at the culinary crime scene that is Panda Express and regales us with tales of invisible man matches, and his new survival tool of choice: melatonin.

Elsewhere, Luke delivers the brutal news about Chick-fil-A’s problematic past and the lads wonder why anyone cares what other people spend their money on.

Plus, Pete narrowly avoids a risky duck blood meal before his 11-hour flight home and Luke’s genuinely impressed with his growth!

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The 120-Man Rumble

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Pete kicks things off with an identity crisis – he’s convinced he’s 34, and Luke has the unenviable task of breaking the news that he’s... absolutely not. Talk then turns to Pete’s upcoming WrestleMe Vegas trip and the truly chaotic prospect of a 120-man Royal Rumble. That’s a lot of sweaty bodies!

Elsewhere, after a brief detour into 'The Slug', the lads debate where the line is drawn between harmless kink and full-blown creep behaviour. Plus, why do homophobes always say things are being jammed down their throats? Is it just a coincidence… or the Freudian slip of the century?

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Worm King

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke reflects on the pain of a joke that doesn't land with Gen Z — but insists it’s them, not him. He also shares the story of his Seven Sisters hike gone wrong, which left him injured and his wife unimpressed. Elsewhere, Pete reckons he might have worms after a week of dodgy meals — there’s always a gastrological problem with him isn’t there!

The lads also dive into golf’s strangest traditions… like the Masters champion choosing the dinner for the following year. So, what would you have? Plus, an obituary writer sends in a lovely snap of his writer’s shed.

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Juicy Sweet Liver

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the UK’s sugar tax and discover why Mexican Coke is far superior. Luke confesses he can’t stomach the punch of full-fat drinks anymore, unlike Pete, who’s mesmerised by the sheer amount of sugar he could consume — enough to make his liver beautifully sweet!

Elsewhere, they reflect on how acting has improved since the 80s, with Pete arguing that we’re expecting way too much from actors these days. Plus, he’s got some choice words for the kid from Adolescence, who, it turns out, actually did go to drama school…

And, how upset should you really be if your popcorn shrimp still has the poo sack inside?

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Swamp Life

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, after Pete introduces us to the world of expat DJ channels, Luke is left wondering why some expats seem to loathe British culture — especially the ones who spend their days googling Sadiq Khan and eat only English food once they've moved to Spain. Luke wants absolutely nothing to do with it, so Pete offers up an alternative: life in a swamp, anyone?

Plus, someone’s eating sunflower seeds with the shells still on…pure lunacy, and Pilot Dave is back in the LAPS cockpit!

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Teeth Swap

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke and Pete tackle life’s big questions: how much money would it take to make them disappear forever? A hundred quid would sort one of them, apparently. And whose teeth would look better in whose mouth?

Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about the time he got hench for a bit, before he pitches the idea of having entrance music in the office like a WWE star. We also wonder if Elon Musk has daddy issues and Pete has a few words for scarily ambitious voiceover thief Charlie…not from Carlisle.

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Pretgate

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Happy Monday - it’s time for some more carefully curated nonsense. Luke recounts a bizarre standoff he had in Pret involving a truly odd policy #JusticeforMoore.

We also get into the latest internet controversy swirling around our beloved Pete and blast through plenty of emails - including a listener who writes to us a few minutes before his vasectomy, an update on Norwich’s cultural impact and some breaking news concerning Stubbington Study Centre. Join us!

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Primary School Bangers™

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Pete's latest predicament: finding appropriate places to urinate. Mainly because he's drinking upwards of nine litres of water a day.

We work out how best to tackle that and dissect the most terrifying brunch experience imaginable. Plus, batteries aplenty and fixing kids' computers in the local neighbourhood.

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Poo Time Panic

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke and Pete stumble upon a truly baffling real estate listing — a London flat with a full-size swimming pool directly above a Chinese takeaway. What could possibly go wrong? The lads weigh up the pros and cons of living beneath an indoor ocean and debate whether they’d take the plunge.

Elsewhere, Luke is horrified to learn that Donny refuses to moisturise, while Pete shares his survival guide for dealing with a toddler who has zero respect for bathroom privacy.

Plus, the lads dissect Netflix’s new hit show Adolescence.

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Flight of Doom

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Pete’s gearing up for a deeply inconvenient 5 a.m. Jet2 flight, and Luke isn’t holding back on how much of a terrible idea that is. This sends the lads down memory lane as they relive their school trip adventures — leading to Luke’s tale of a hellish coach trip to Switzerland.

Elsewhere, they weigh in on Tesla’s latest embarrassment, Musk’s ongoing public meltdown, and why some people just don’t seem to grasp the consequences of their own actions.

Plus, Pete fully succumbs to AI madness as he uses deepfake technology to prank his mates in the worst possible way.

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Switch B*tch

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Today, we take a deep dive into Switch Bitch — Roald Dahl’s surprisingly adult collection of short stories — while Pete grapples with his confusion, and slight heartbreak, over why Quentin Blake didn’t stay loyal to Roald.

Elsewhere, Pete explores the bizarre world of pay-to-shoplift experiences in Japan, sparking a debate on whether fake theft really scratches the same itch. Plus, the lads weigh in on the Angel Boys’ return to social media.

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An NYC Enema

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Today, Pete’s got a confession: years ago, he went to New York for a wedding but ended up battling a truly catastrophic case of constipation. Cue a desperate Walgreens enema purchase, a brutal two-and-a-half-week ordeal, and a story that Luke will not let him forget.

Elsewhere, the lads dive into the misery of kitchen appliance repairs, with Luke recounting an awkward run-in with a deeply grumpy Zanussi repairman. Plus, a discussion on the baffling modern career of Neil Young somehow leads to Pete breaking into song—should he ditch podcasting for life as a Neil Young impersonator? Let us know!

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Slot It!

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Luke wonders if he’s missing out on a lucrative career as a right-wing grifter, while Pete shares his latest YouTube algorithm nightmare — somehow featuring Bill Oddie discussing Jimmy Savile... Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about his childhood pet gerbils and the highly questionable method his dad used to control their ever-growing population.

Plus, the lads revisit Pete’s infamous infant chip bowl helmet invention and debate whether chasing pigeons is a fundamental part of childhood.

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Plasma profits

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 00:00:00 GMT

Today, the guys tackle the moral dilemma of a man who saved 2.4 million babies with his blood donations — should he have charged for his life-saving plasma? Speaking of blood, Luke discusses the results of his recent at-home blood test, which, much to his delight, reveals an above-average testosterone level.

Plus, the lads dive into the logistics of In the Night Garden Live after Pete boasts about his recent ticket purchase.

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Thatchers & Rat Boys

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke and Pete are all moustached up, comparing their freshly grown 'tashes to thatched roofs, and somehow spiral into the baffling logistics of maintaining a straw-covered house in 2025. Pete’s convinced today’s thatchers are just winging it...

Then, the lads take a moment of silence for Skype before Luke gets absolutely ecstatic about the unexpected return of The Beta Band. Who knew he’d be this pumped about experimental psychedelic electronic progressive folk? Well, we did… obviously!

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Turkey Teeth

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Pete’s growing paranoia about the state of the world has him wondering if it’s time to start prepping with a lifetime supply of beans. Meanwhile, Luke’s more concerned about his mental decline — is he losing it, or is it just the menopause?

Elsewhere, the lads take a deep dive into the baffling world of cosmetic procedures, from Turkey teeth to Botox, and debate whether they should get involved. Plus, an emailer writes in with an allegory about deep-fried chocolate bars, and Luke is horrified to learn about the state of Pete’s fridge.

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Piss Drawers

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 03:00:00 GMT

The lads are back, kicking things off with the internet fallout they got from the horrific childhood story Pete told last week — turns out, Luke got all the messages while Pete somehow dodged the interrogation. Meanwhile, an entirely different horror emerges: the concept of a piss drawer. Could Pete introduce one into his household? Luke has… concerns.

Elsewhere, Pete reports back from a trip to Kosovo, navigating local delicacies and questionable Airbnb etiquette. Meanwhile, Luke ponders whether decorators secretly judge your wallpaper choices before the lads attempt to decode the bizarre world of fat jabs.

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The Vomit Vandal

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Luke encounters a mystery vandal targeting Lime bikes with an unusual weapon—vomit. Was it a protest? A bizarre art installation? Or just someone having a really bad night? The investigation begins.

Elsewhere, the lads revisit the ridiculousness of pubs shutting down over noise complaints, Pete gets roasted for his chaotic outfit choices, and they discuss the bizarre social media presence of Gordon Kindness—a man whose life appears to revolve around Greggs, diarrhoea updates, and questionable food choices.

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Unwanted Badge Inspection

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

The lads kick things off with the great Nepo Baby debate—where does nepotism actually end, and is being the niece of Gruffalo author Julia Donaldson enough to count? This, naturally, leads to an important clarification: Pete is not related to Mr. Beast or any other famous Donaldsons.

But today's real highlight? A listener email about a truly unexpected photo mix-up involving a leaky balcony repair request… and a very intimate surprise.

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Condom Balloon Blunder

Thu, 20 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Pete kicks things off with a deeply unsettling childhood memory—let’s just say it involves his dad, a used condom, and an innocent misunderstanding that still haunts him to this day. Luke, naturally, has many questions…

Elsewhere, the lads tackle the great working-class dad salt obsession, and Pete recounts his trip to Hartlepool, where he received rockstar treatment at a retirement home just for bringing his baby. Then, before they go, they circle back to the infamous Bitcoin tip saga—because, apparently, the guy who lost millions in a landfill still isn’t ready to let it go.

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Montoya, POR FAVOR

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

The lads dive into the absurdity of modern reality TV, breaking down the viral Temptation Island moment where one man, Montoya, processes betrayal through a mix of heartbreak and deeply unnecessary cardio. Luke and Pete marvel at the sheer spectacle but can’t help but wonder—what have we done to ourselves as a society?

Beyond that, they find time to dissect the Super Bowl halftime show, and a listener offers to send Pete a DIY fuzz pedal kit—which he’s already scheming to use for harmonised loops of the word “piss.” What could possibly go wrong?

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NIMBYs and Conspiracists

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

The lads kick off with their favourite internet cesspit—Nextdoor—where NIMBYs reign supreme, complaining about everything from faint giggles to morally questionable pub patrons. This sets Luke off on a raging rant about a recent article exposing how noise complaints are slowly strangling London’s nightlife.

And just when you think they’ve had enough internet for one day, they dive headfirst into the wild world of online conspiracy theorists and have no choice but to marvel at their sheer lunacy—because apparently, the madness knows no bounds.

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Moist Moody Ostriches

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Luke reimagines Glastonbury, wondering why they’ve never done a live show there—until the conversation spirals into a full-blown business plan for a festival burger van. Speaking of food, Pete shares the tale of a very moist ostrich fillet he unearthed from the depths of his fridge, before revealing his wild lunch—trust us, you’ll never guess what he ate!

Plus, of course, the lads can’t resist taking a swing at yet more Trump absurdity...

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Public Toilet Etiquette

Thu, 06 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

The lads kick things off with a deep dive into the world of shameless grifters, debating why right-wing outrage merchants always seem to dominate online algorithms. Is Andrew Tate just projecting? And why is Ben Shapiro so obsessed with Barbie?

Plus, Pete recounts his bizarre late-night encounter in a Soho public toilet… because, let’s be honest, it’s always Pete that finds himself in these situations, isn’t it?

Tell us your wildest public toilet stories by emailing at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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An ungodly sh*t

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Should the lads start wearing makeup? Luke thinks he always looks sickly on camera, while Pete suggests a few injections might do the trick. If that fails, he’s considering tattooing his hairline instead.

Elsewhere, Pete lays out his very specific travel MO: dawdling, dinner, and—most importantly—an ungodly hotel bathroom session upon arrival. Then, Luke adits he's surprised Pete's never late, but when he is, it's because he’s had a full-blown menty-b. Speaking of which, Luke nearly had one himself after losing his 20-year-old wallet for the first time in his life.

And if that wasn’t enough, Pete geeks out over transacoustic guitars, and the lads debate whether Luke could pull off a moustache...Spoiler: he’s not convinced.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Bonjour You C***

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 03:00:00 GMT

The lads dive into Trump’s latest inauguration, debating whether keeping it indoors was a strategic move to dodge an embarrassingly small crowd, while applauding Michelle Obama for swerving the whole thing entirely and setting a new standard in #NotMyProblem energy. Then, they lay out their own presidential plans—starting with an executive order to ban raspberry yoghurts nationwide.

Elsewhere, Pete’s voice machine impression of Luke’s child leaves Luke thoroughly creeped out, there’s another mad documentary recommendation, and after a woodworm fiasco, Pete’s officially done with the whole “owning a house” thing.

Plus, a cautionary tale about why you should never wear a beret in Glasgow...

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Pete's Hole Filler

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Pete’s buzzing about his latest gadget obsession, which Luke says is just filling “a hole in his soul.” Meanwhile, Luke takes a nostalgic dive into 'Big Break', the 90s snooker-based TV gem featuring awkward catchphrases, deadpan co-hosts, and a young Ronnie O’Sullivan’s debut. Then, the chat veers into a debate on archiving lost media and Pete’s dad’s illegal but oddly impressive DVD stash.

Plus, Luke also recommends a gripping BBC documentary on the 7/7 bombings, sparking a conversation on resilience, forgotten history, and the remarkable stories of triumph that emerge in the face of tragedy.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Give me a joke!

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Have you ever written a diss track about someone? What about someone who’s in the same band as you and is then forced to play that song every night for years on end? It’s happened to Fleetwood Mac, and it could soon happen to us…

We spend half of today's show getting distracted by the 1989 BRIT Awards, wonder what films scare children and get through a few (awful) battery submissions. Not as many as we’d like, because Pete needed a wee throughout.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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The Shoreditch Samurai

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 05:00:00 GMT

With a particular story dominating Pete’s consciousness this week, there’s only one place we could start: penis enlargement surgery. Happy Monday!

Elsewhere, Pete’s sporting a new haircut courtesy of a random shopkeeper, we put the music world to rights and a listener has documented the *exact* moment they realised they weren’t young anymore. Anyone else heard of Bloc Party?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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Worrisome Little Chap

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 03:00:00 GMT

Today, the lads dive into the perplexing world of rattan furniture: What is it made of? Why is it so expensive? And why was Luke’s cat, Jasper, so obsessed with it? Pete then shares a story about his dad randomly bringing home a snooker table and a bag of balls, sparking a debate about the most inconvenient gifts (spoiler: Luke once sent someone a box of crickets).

Elsewhere, Pete declares that the true meaning of life is enjoying the art of antagonising friends and colleagues. Plus, he opens up about his ultra-cautious approach to proposing—it’s a yes-or-nothing policy for this self-proclaimed worrisome little chap.

What's the most annoying gift you've ever received? Tell us at Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com

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Donaldson Now Daddy

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 03:00:00 GMT

It’s a chaotic start to the week as Pete confesses to accidentally installing a secret camera in an Airbnb, while Luke can’t resist another dig at Jake Humphrey’s “sexy chat.”

Elsewhere, Pete considers taking wrestling classes as his January fitness fix and reveals some questionable dessert choices - dog cake and Baileys-flavoured squirty cream, anyone?

Plus, a listener’s bizarre Airbnb tale and a fiery debate: are rivalries just plain silly? It’s everything you didn’t know you needed.

Got any wilder Airbnb stories? Email us at Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com

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Lukey in Lagos

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 03:00:03 GMT

Today, Pete can’t stop raving about WD40, while Luke ponders how parenting life has crushed his spontaneity. Then, the lads debate nap time efficiency, the dread of “circling back in the new year,” and whether cash really is king...should we really be handing a stack of cash straight to the doctor?

Elsewhere, Pete pitches "Lukey in Lagos", a foolproof idea for Luke to become a YouTube sensation, while Luke debates the right approach to plane food — spoiler: just say no. Plus, the lads have a Beatles impression-off, and a much needed follow up to the Grimsby fish shop saga.

Give us your best WD40 stories here: Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com

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Mug Wars

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 03:00:00 GMT

This week, Donny shares how his infamous “C*** mug” kept making surprise appearances during adoption meetings, leading to a frantic mug switcheroo every time it landed in the wrong hands. Of course, this sparks a full-on mug-off: Who’s got the best collection? Does Luke have a serious mug hoarding problem? And why does tea taste better from a stolen mug?

The lads then turn their attention to the gentrification of Margate, posing the question: is it a seaside gem or... just a sh*thole?

Plus, Pete reflects on the whirlwind of heartfelt congratulations (and a few dubious comments) he’s received about his family’s adoption journey…thankfully, the adoption council wasn’t made up of you lot!

If you've been to Margate and loved it or hated it, we want to know why! Email us at Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com

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Hello 2025!

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 05:00:31 GMT

Thanks to a LAPS in judgement regarding the use of protection spells, both Pete and Luke were cursed by the lurgy witch over Christmas, which means they couldn't record the final episode of 2024.

Never fear, they're starting a brand new year with some great brand new stories (that MI6 agent who zipped himself into a sports bag in a bath in Pimlico).

Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com if you've had a memorable new year - let us know!

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Goodbye 2024!

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 03:00:53 GMT

Today, the lads put the piss in precipice as they bid farewell to 2024!

Pete shares the tale of throwing his shoulder out while shadowboxing to impress the wife he has access to, while Luke issues an important year-end reminder: never trust a man selling both a car battery and a deli block of cheese.

Plus, listener emails bring plenty of laughs, including one poor soul’s cold shower encounter featuring horse-related podcast banter and an awkward run-in with their head of department. And just when you think the chaos couldn’t get any stranger, the lads tackle a truly bizarre topic: could Brussels really be hiding a dark secret as a holiday destination for paedophiles?

Expect unfiltered nonsense, unexpected detours, and plenty of 2024 nostalgia.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.

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Lads mags in particular

Thu, 26 Dec 2024 05:00:08 GMT

Happy Boxing Day! Hope you and yours are having a smashing festive week - certainly more than a listener who emailed in with a shudderingly cringe Christmas proposal story…

We then celebrate Christmas in the only way we know how: by charting the bizarre history of Lads’ mags and sifting through some disappointing battery submissions.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.

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The best year of your life

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 05:00:39 GMT

Luke’s been drooling all over himself on the train up to some important meetings - nice. Speaking of drooling (stay with us), Pete has some truly lovely news to share…

We also get to the very bottom of the TikTok algorithm, continue to snoop on listeners’ LinkedIn profiles and take some fish to be fried.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.

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A sad epilogue to Luke’s festive tale

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 05:00:27 GMT

After inadvertently being poisoned by Pete, Luke finds the time to update us on his recent quest to deliver Christmas gifts to the bloke who owned his house. It has taken a depressingly predictable turn.

James McCartney also continues to astound - you’re a grown man, James - and we get more details on the Nugget Power Hour. Plus, we try to ensure this week’s battery selection has a festive flavour.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.

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Luke saves Christmas!

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 03:00:54 GMT

Today, the lads unwrap the baffling Christmas tradition of ‘Hide the Pickle’, courtesy of a listener email. But the real showstopper? Luke can barely contain his excitement as he recounts the heroic tale of how he saved Christmas! Then, Donny steps into the spotlight as an unexpected Christmas tree connoisseur.

Elsewhere, Pete shares his love for Skunk Anansie’s Post Orgasmic Chill—and his equally passionate hatred for the weatherman behind the Children in Need 24-Hour Drumathon. And in true Luke fashion, he’s having second thoughts about joining fight club, all because of the “first night, first fight” rule. Is his fear justified? You decide!

We need your Christmas tales, like Christmas pudding needs brandy! Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.

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The Pemmican Diaries

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 05:00:22 GMT

Luke and Pete endlessly trudge through snow, hail and the bodies of deceased pets to bring you another slice of precisely nothing. It's the Luke and Pete show, baby!

We need your Christmas tales, like Christmas pudding needs brandy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears.

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The Nugget Power Hour

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 05:00:42 GMT

It’s an email special! We’re down to *only* thirty-three pages of unread emails, so let’s dive into the bulging postbag for a rummage around. We’re talking things that make us proud to be British (spoiler: not many), which way to go down a Japanese escalator and how you’d go about eating a McDonald’s nugget every minute for an hour.

Rest assured, we also recap Pete’s interview technique with Green Day back in the day. Remember, just wear a t-shirt from an obscure punk band. Either that or dress up like a diseased Hobgoblin mascot.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Plastic Fantastic

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 05:00:34 GMT

Ever wondered how to future-proof your wardrobe? Simple: just buy the same two shirts in every single possible size, to account for life’s weight fluctuations. Foolproof, even at Christmas!

We recap Luke’s awkward but enjoyable night at a recent awards show, and trace Pete’s recent skirmish with some debt collection agencies. Stay tuned for our totally legitimate advice on how to deal with them - plus, batteries proved a mixed bag…

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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T’is the Season

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 03:00:00 GMT

Luke rings in December with a festive jingle before Pete takes the reins dissecting Coca-Cola’s AI-driven Christmas ad, questioning why AI can’t just handle the boring stuff to free us up for creative brilliance.

Elsewhere, Pete contemplates picking up a microwave from the Aldi centre aisle—a move that would delight Luke’s centre-aisle-obsessed wife. And if that’s not enough, the lads get fired up over Robbie Williams, before they unveil the mystery of Sleep Token thanks to a listener email.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Barber or Shop Watcher?

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 03:00:25 GMT

In true Donny fashion, Pete kicks things off with his latest barber saga – complete with language barriers, dodgy clippers, and a room so hot you’d melt. Luke spots all the red flags and raises the vital question: Was Pete’s haircut done by a shop watcher instead of an actual barber? Probably... but hey, anything for good content!

Plus, Pete reveals that he’s officially hung up his tinkering hat and now “has” to buy a new 3D printer – because who has time to mess with the old one?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Boybands, banishment and bangers

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 03:00:28 GMT

Today, Pete’s wrestling with a truly 'hypothetical' dilemma: if banished to the apology cabin by the partner he has access to, could he use his 3D printer to cook sausages and reinvent himself as Heston Blumenthal 2.0? Naturally, Luke is on hand to help him evaluate this groundbreaking culinary experiment.

Meanwhile, Luke takes a deep dive into the BBC’s Boyband documentary, offering his take on its eye-opening exploration of the music industry’s darker side.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Dirty little car boys

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 03:00:00 GMT

Luke’s back from a magical fly-fishing trip to Scotland, but not without drama—his plans were almost derailed by the dirtiest car boys in the game: National Car Rental. Meanwhile, Luke vents about a loud admin-loving woman in the quiet carriage, and Pete casually points out a simple solution: noise-cancelling headphones. Revolutionary, really.

And naturally, the lads can’t resist a bit of fashion chat, with Luke summing up Pete’s style as: “Well done, but confusing.”

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Jesus and his mitre saw

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 03:00:48 GMT

Today on the show, Pete’s getting a little too obsessed with his mitre saw, feeling all powerful like…hold up, Jesus? Are we hearing that right?

The lads dive deep into another Jesus convo, but this time, they’re brainstorming how he could really stamp out any doubt about his existence. Could he pull a Taylor Swift on us and pop up at a gig? Or bless his disciples with 12 shiny new treadmills? Maybe he could show us the wonders of a Nectar card or even unveil a car with a mystical twist? The possibilities are endless!

Plus, Luke opens up about a personal low point of the week: being utterly shamed by a delivery driver. It’s a wild ride, as always.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Eighties Cool

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 03:00:17 GMT

The lads kick off by confessing their celebrity crushes, starting strong with Denzel Washington before honourable mentions go to Mr Tumble - and, yes - Pete even declares his affection for Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. From there, it’s onto iconic 80s movies, leading to the ultimate question: what truly defined coolness in the 80s? Their answer: eating raw jelly, and biscuits straight from the packet, obviously.

And of course, today’s episode wouldn't be complete without a proper dive into the aftermath of the US election.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Smack my crisp up

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 05:00:19 GMT

Pete amazingly starts today’s show by revealing that he likes Monday mornings. So Luke comes to one conclusion… Pete is turning into Stewy Donaldson!

Elsewhere, Luke and Pete learn all about home fries aka the act of bringing your own fish fillet to the fish and chip shop. Plus, Luke tells Pete that he recently got into an accident on his Lime bike. Don’t worry, it’s not as dramatic as it sounds…

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Language Manipulator

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 03:00:46 GMT

Today, the lads take on the entertainment world, covering everything from Mr Tumble to Homeland, and how 80s TV stars keep walking into radio gigs. Luke asks if Pete’s ever thought about acting, but Pete’s not convinced he’d remember his lines - until he has a brainwave: films would be wrapped up much faster if actors just had earpieces feeding them their lines. We’re looking at you, Marlon Brando and Johnny Depp...

Elsewhere, Luke gets defensive about his keyboard, sorry “electric piano”, and the lads dive into a hot debate: who’s the greatest lyricist in rap history? Luke’s got one answer, and he’s pretty sure it’s the only right one.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Dinner with the boys

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 03:00:59 GMT

Today, it’s an email special, and the lads dive right in. First, Pete gets a roasting from an accountant over his take on charity tax write-offs, while another listener resurrects the classic “Did Pete know how Jesus died?” debate. Spoiler: yes, he knew about the crucifixion...but the finer details? Still a bit hazy.

Meanwhile, Luke’s inspired by his brother-in-law’s legendary feat of downing 52 chicken nuggets in one sitting, sparking the ultimate question: how many could you take on in a single go? Let us know!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Roof Witch

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 03:00:30 GMT

The lads wish you a haunted Halloween, with Luke laying down the law: sweets are only for those who can prove they’re on remand.

Meanwhile, Pete’s still trying to process how we’re nearly in November… did he miss 2024 entirely?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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The McRib comeback tour

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 03:00:20 GMT

Pete's gone on a pilgrimage to savour a McRib but is stopped in his tracks by a man who not only calls him an "old boy" but invites him to join his classic car club. Pete’s less than chuffed…meanwhile, the wife he has access to finds it hilarious. Elsewhere, the lads tackle a “kindness gone wrong” moment at the corner shop, breaking down the awkwardness of British politeness after a listener generously offers to cover a stranger’s chocolate bar - only for the bloke to cheekily upgrade his freebie with some chewing gum.

Also on the docket: Luke’s rant about politicians cosplaying as “normal people,” and Pete’s ambitious plan to 3D-print a hip for his mum. Could it actually work?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Prostates and pensions

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 02:00:37 GMT

Pete recoils as Luke shares the news of a group of Yorkshire men who’ve met for a pint every week for 56 years – reigniting Pete’s infamous commitment issues. Meanwhile, Luke is left baffled by how anyone could forget the name of a book they’re currently reading.

And if that’s not enough, brace yourselves for the main event: Donny treats you to the unparalleled thrill of a live nose hair trim. Yep, you heard that right.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Let's round this up

Sun, 20 Oct 2024 04:00:44 GMT

This episode was supposed to be an email special but Pete got so animated about the idea of rounding up at the checkout when shopping that your missives had to take something of a backseat.

When the boys did finally get to your emails, they read out messages from White Rock, British Columbia, Wisconsin *and* California including a message from someone who has just accidentally stolen some chicken goujons. Call the cops!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Frolicking in a bag of leaves

Thu, 17 Oct 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Is Pete a frolicker? Why is he so obsessed with leaves? And are these things related to why he never pays his tax on time?

Elsewhere the lads discuss foods that are acceptable to eat in the mornings and wonder if Donny could 3D print a gigantic donut boy, in parts, to send to someone as a threat.

And, just before they go, there's time to run the rule over your latest battery submissions, and assess why baby owls always sleep face down...

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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3D printing: Owl or nothing

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 02:00:50 GMT

Pete has finally joined the ranks of 3D printing enthusiasts, but not without a bizarre encounter with a sketchy seller. While Luke assumes Pete’s got practical plans for car parts, Donny has his heart set on printing one thing: a massive owl. Naturally.

Elsewhere, the lads toy with the idea of becoming Deliveroo drivers to fund even weirder projects, and a listener shares his post-Hurricane Helene run-in with a stark-naked neighbour.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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FB Marketplace purist

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 02:00:13 GMT

Luke’s appalled to hear Donny uses Vinted and even more disgusted to hear he uses an InPost locker instead of getting the goods delivered to his house, like a real adult…

Elsewhere, Luke gives his review of Better Call Saul and Pete boasts about his bath TV, which Luke just can’t wrap his head around!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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DIY Dialysis

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 02:00:47 GMT

Today, the lads declare themselves the Nigel Benn and Chris Eubank of podcasting as they dive into the world of WWE and chat about Netflix's new Vince McMahon documentary.

Later, a listener’s eBay find sends Donny down a rabbit hole, as he wonders whether you could actually buy second-hand medical gear for a bit of at-home dialysis - don’t worry, it’s all hypothetical… we hope!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Debase yourself for the dollar

Thu, 03 Oct 2024 02:00:08 GMT

Today’s most important question: would you flash your penis for £1?

Plus, Pete’s got a new hyperfixation.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Dog suicide bridge

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 02:00:10 GMT

The lads relive their wild night at the London Palladium for Football Ramble LIVE - ever been so drunk you queued for your own toilet at home? That’s exactly how it ended for some!

Then Pete shares some holiday, um, highlights? A pigeon spring roll that left him with what feels like shrapnel in his mouth and the knowledge of a disturbing mystery about a bridge where dogs are strangely drawn to leap to their deaths.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Run up your ribs

Thu, 26 Sep 2024 02:00:05 GMT

Pete pitches the idea of a Smiths reunion…with Lily Allen taking over as front woman in place of Morrissey, obviously. Meanwhile, Luke’s reached his limit with Pete’s chaotic car chatter and demands a full rundown of every car he's owned - seriously, where did the Mini Countryman even come from!?

Plus, Pete tries to spice up his vocabulary with a bit of Scottish slang.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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#BritishCore

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 02:00:15 GMT

Pete’s struggling to get on board with the latest #BritishCore trend, while Luke is entertained by the American fascination with the mundanity of British culture. This gets Luke pondering what it would be like if Donny were president - he’s convinced it would lead to a lifetime reign!

Plus, a visit from Pete’s mum gets the lads questioning what really constitutes a welsh cake.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Rockstar M.O.

Thu, 19 Sep 2024 02:00:30 GMT

Is conceiving a lovechild still an acceptable form of rockstar behaviour? Luke rants about the patriarchy after Pete brings up the David Grohl scandal. Donny’s adamant that the solution to emasculation is simple - just become more pathetic.

Plus, does AI actually make your life easier?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Aggressive lactating pigs

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 02:00:34 GMT

Luke’s accidentally left his car unlocked but the only thing stolen was a pound coin for the shopping trolley. On the back of this, the lads discuss shoplifting techniques and Pete decides he’d steal a Japanese chef knife, naturally.

Elsewhere, Donny’s confused why pig milk hasn’t caught on yet. Oink oink!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Bali or bust

Thu, 12 Sep 2024 02:00:23 GMT

Donny considers joining a retreat for 'entrepreneurial' men in Bali after Luke suggests his true calling is becoming an influencer.

Plus, Pete can't contain his excitement over a rare badger sighting.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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A public toilet conspiracy

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 02:00:01 GMT

Have you ever walked into a bathroom and accidentally cockblocked an orgy? Well, one listener is certain he did!

In other news, Pete has fallen victim to another theft of his beloved bike and Luke recalls the time a police officer sniffed his hands for signs of excrement.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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Napoleonic erotica

Thu, 05 Sep 2024 02:00:48 GMT

Luke crowns Disneyland as the people-watching capital of the world, but Pete just can’t see it. Instead, he wants to talk about how similar Giles Coren and Luke are.

Elsewhere, Luke tells Donny about some saucy bodice-ripping Napoleonic fan fiction and, after another mention of airports, Luke can’t comprehend why anyone would have four kids, let alone take them on holiday.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

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So punk rock

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 02:00:51 GMT

Luke’s ecstatic about the recent Oasis reunion announcement, declaring himself a “proper music fan,” while Pete couldn’t care less. Instead, Donny reminisces about the most punk rock moment of his life: a massive hotdog bun fight in the middle of Wembley Arena.

Oh, and Pete wants to know the answer to a very important question: did Luke shit his pants last week?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

White Man Tacos

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 02:00:20 GMT

Pete reveals his go-to breakup tactics, while Luke dives into the universal concept of every culture having its own version of a sandwich, igniting the timeless debate: soft shell or hard shell tacos?

Plus, the Battery Daddy gets edged with the prospect of another new player.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Webmistress Day

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 02:00:40 GMT

Luke’s baffled that Donny still buys paper train tickets, while Pete wonders if a wax ticket could get you into Madame Tussauds. After that, Pete dives into the banditry of Brazil and Luke introduces the newest member of his family… his Ring doorbell.

And by the way, how are you celebrating National Webmistress Day?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Beavertown Summer

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 02:00:54 GMT

Luke's leather shorts and Donny's Game of Thrones-style trip to Bratislava can mean only one thing - summer is here!

In this special bonus episode, brought to you in partnership with Beavertown, the lads share some of their favourite summer memories as well as a few hilarious listener submissions.

If you didn’t get a chance to share your story, visit Beavertownbrewery.co.uk for a chance to win a few cans of Neck Oil if your story is featured. Please enjoy Beavertown beer responsibly. See website for terms and conditions.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gentleman Thief

Thu, 22 Aug 2024 02:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete trade horror stories about nature’s weapons of destruction after Alicia Silverstone has a run in with a toxic Jerusalem cherry. Then, talk turns to fake dog turd antics…naturally!

Plus, the lads pour one out for the man behind the Democracy Manifest meme.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Raygun

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 02:00:02 GMT

Luke gloats about his latest lime bike accomplishment but Pete is quick to bring him back down to earth, reminding him that, technically, he’s mechanically doping. In return, Luke makes fun of his accent.

Plus, they can’t let the Olympics chat pass by before they discuss the B Girl phenomenon, Raygun.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wet mouth

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 02:00:26 GMT

What’s more impactful, the death of the Queen or WWE? Has Trump been replaced with deep fake AI? And why can’t posh people fathom the concept of a bag of crisps?

There’s a lot to cover…

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Banana spider graveyard

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 02:00:27 GMT

Pete eyes a new job as a CNBC reporter as he dives into the bizarre story of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s bear carcass incident… Meanwhile Luke confesses he’s never bought anything from Greggs - ever!

Plus, a listener’s email fuels Luke’s obsession with banana spiders even more!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fake mechanics and court cosplay

Thu, 08 Aug 2024 04:00:50 GMT

Lukey considers a change in employment, and could you style out a week in a public-facing role, covered in lovely engine oil?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spunky summer

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 02:00:20 GMT

Pete’s yearning for some salt liquorice Spunk but Luke can’t jump onboard. Elsewhere, Luke questions if Donny has what it takes to become a taxi man and Pete likens Luke to JD Vance.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

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Testicals and toenails

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 02:00:35 GMT

Donny wonders how long it would take to realise your ball sack was hanging out of your hot pants. Meanwhile, Luke tells the cautionary tale of pressure washing your foot.

Plus, Pete ships a durian to the office...because why wouldn't he?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Euro train porno

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 02:00:31 GMT

Luke declares his love for Mongolian throat singing as they discuss the weird but wonderful Nordic folk band, Heilung. Elsewhere, Pete is certain that European train pornography marked the birth of the internet.

Plus, Luke confesses he has to do yet another driving awareness course!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

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What a time!

Thu, 25 Jul 2024 02:00:37 GMT

Is laughing the most effective way to disarm one of the world’s biggest threats to democracy?

The lads dive into American history, from the assassination attempt on Trump, to Pete confusing Thomas Edison for a Founding Father.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imodium diaries

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 02:00:36 GMT

Luke’s crowned himself a born hustler after his recent forays into the world of Facebook Marketplace. Elsewhere, Pete tells us how his nan stole Churchill’s thunder with a bassinet full of babies.

Plus, has Sammy shit on the floor in sympathy for Donny’s week of having the runs?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Dodgy

Thu, 18 Jul 2024 02:00:28 GMT

Pete tried to get his teeth whitened in Soho but was forced to watch James Bond instead… Luke’s certain that he did not go to a real dentist.

Plus, as if their love for wearable tech wasn’t nerdy enough, Pete’s in disbelief when Luke informs him of Maplin’s reincarnation.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wall Fish Emporium

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 02:00:32 GMT

In an effort to out-alpha him, Pete's dog Sammy rubbed his empty ball sack on Pete’s head at 3am. Lola got involved too by pissing in the bed. But Donny’s just happy the gang’s all together.

Elsewhere, Luke questions the ethics of a snail harvesting business.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

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The muse of all muses

Thu, 11 Jul 2024 02:00:56 GMT

Luke likens Donny to Marlon Brando as Pete declares himself a muse of theatre. Luke then reflects on his amateur theatre days and questions why he was so afraid to audition for the lead role in Smike the musical.

Elsewhere, they decide it’s time to talk about the declining use of newspapers in fish and chip shops.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ocean poop

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 02:00:37 GMT

Pete ponders what compels a man to solo travel the Pacific Ocean. Meanwhile, Luke discusses his experience on a speed awareness course and says his biggest takeaway is that most people are pretty thick…

Plus, Pete’s fascinated by the concept of electrocution.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ball crushing stilettos

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 02:00:11 GMT

Luke teaches hungover Pete how to impress people with his ability to convert celsius to fahrenheit. Meanwhile, Donny worries about the taxman and Luke suggests some solutions - but all of them involve a time machine. Not very helpful...

Plus, Pete finds his Only Fans angle.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tops off, let's kiss

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 02:00:22 GMT

Luke admits he finally gets the whole alcohol-free beer thing, while Pete starts a fight club the moment the partner he has access to goes on a girls trip.

Plus, Pete tells his own parable of Abraham carrying him through the waves.

Want to get in touch with the show?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Orgasmic Hi-Fi

Thu, 27 Jun 2024 02:00:52 GMT

This week, Luke’s haunted by Mexican maracas and Pete doesn’t think ramming a cow with a police car is a big deal. Elsewhere, Luke brags about his hi-fi equipment which is music to Pete’s ears - to say the least!

Plus Pete gets giddy about his very own battery submission.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lamb lung pocket man

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 02:00:44 GMT

This week, Pete mourns the loss of Maplin Electronics and reminisces about his own retail experiences - a fraudulent, Billy Joel-obsessed boss included. Meanwhile, Luke wonders why he can’t escape the chains of Rob Beckett and Romesh Ranganathan.

Luke also brags about his table tennis skills, but Pete isn’t having it!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hot Boss

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 02:00:19 GMT

Pete reveals his secret obsession with weird influencers, from people who don't chew their food to those who love a bit of public role play in WeWorks across the nation. Meanwhile, Luke questions why doggy daycares always seem to have the best social media strategies.

Plus, Pete concludes that smoke alarms are just a constant reminder of our own mortality and Luke calls bullshit on polyglots.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gay communist piss & the caffeine confessionals

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 02:00:03 GMT

Luke and Pete confront their caffeine addictions before marvelling at the legend of Hammock Grandad. If Pete wants to match Grandad's record, he'd better start sleeping outdoors soon!

Meanwhile, Luke gladly declares that throwing things at Nigel Farage is a "great British sport," while Pete—shockingly, the voice of reason—wonders just how far is too far.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Organ Ponzi Scheme

Thu, 13 Jun 2024 04:00:24 GMT

We’re back with our lab coats on, as the lads attempt to devise new organ transplant procedures for the masses. Drawing ideas from The Human Centipede probably isn’t a good idea…

Elsewhere, Pete seems determined to buy a marmoset from Hartlepool Zoo and we explore the fine art of buying unwanted things for people and sneaking them into their shed. Nothing but helpful advice on your beloved Luke & Pete Show…

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dogs and deviants

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 02:00:48 GMT

From feral MPs to Angela Rayner’s son’s Only Fans, we’re talking UK politicians! It then turns into a discussion on why Donald Trump and his running mate think that publicly hating dogs - and even bragging about killing them - would win over voter support. This reminds Luke about the time he was haunted by the RSPCA!

Plus, Luke has a parcel thief update and a new solution to the problem: a big cold bucket of piss.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sewage Ghostbusters

Thu, 06 Jun 2024 02:00:28 GMT

This week, the lads decide that the best secret superpower would be a weak sense of smell. They then discuss the increasing price of candles - Luke’s astounded that the wife he has access to paid £80 for one! Elsewhere, Luke talks about the porn industry again before getting to the bottom of Pete’s microwave steak venture - why can’t they just make tinned steaks?

Plus, Donny is convinced he’s going through the perimenopause.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grey w*nk pants

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 02:00:14 GMT

This week, Luke and Pete kick starts your Monday with a deep dive into UK politics. Discussing everything from the duality of John Prescott, MP Lee Anderson's recent tirade against refugees, current PM Rishi Sunak's plan to bring back national service and even Lib Dem leader Ed Davey's run in with a paddle board - your new political correspondents cover it all. Following this, Luke also has some choice words about the UK government's young staffers...

Elsewhere, Pete reminds us of Ronald Reagan's signature look. Plus, Luke has the perfect solution for a parcel thief - dog sh*t and broken glass, classic!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gangster Barack Obama

Thu, 30 May 2024 02:00:05 GMT

This week, Pete is certain that Pizza Hut is the home of good pizza - Luke strongly disagrees - which leads to a discussion about the etiquette of discussing other people's food. Elsewhere Luke reminisces on doing door to door sales in New Zealand and Pete has a crack at impressions while slagging off Luke's milky teas.

Plus, has Pete imagined a football themed greek restaurant? If so, why?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kangaroo Boy

Mon, 27 May 2024 02:00:09 GMT

Pete is talking about Ian Wright's ankle, again, and Luke tells Donny about the new show his mum is obsessed with.

Plus, we have serious questions. Does anyone want to buy some garden furniture from Luke? Are head transplants morally wrong? And did your parents know (or better still, did they care) when you were watching TV after lights out?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gay Porno Look

Thu, 23 May 2024 02:00:05 GMT

Luke tells us how he rocked his signature jorts back in the day while Pete realises that he may be approaching a midlife crisis if he continues to go to social events with Luke! Elsewhere, talk turns to Donny's love for Ket - no, not that kind!

Plus Lukey is certain that Huel won't work for him and Pete reminisces on his DJ era.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yellow piss water

Mon, 20 May 2024 02:00:00 GMT

This week, Luke argues about the science of terminal velocity after seeing a hairbrush fall from a sky-drop ride, while Pete wonders why women carry them around because he's never seen public brushing. What are they hiding! Elsewhere, Michael Barrymore's on the tip of their tongues again as they discuss his recent move to Barcelona, the home of glory holes. Speaking of which, Pete asks the crucial question: would you whack an erect penis if you saw one in said glory hole?

Plus, Luke tells us about his trip to Munich for Frühlingsfest and Pete tells us how the Century gets the lads going...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steak Gate

Thu, 16 May 2024 02:00:33 GMT

Pete tells us about the highlight of his Cornwall holiday - his microwave steaks - but Luke's sure that if he served it to Jeremy Clarkson he'd be a goner! Elsewhere, the lads conclude that farmers don't need to be paid more after Pete tells us how easily one guy – somewhere, one time – scraped together a million pounds to save his kidnapped daughter. Then Luke rants about conspiracies and anti-vaxxers.

Plus, Pete's convinced doctor's just want to put their fingers up bums after he went to a Eurovision party where his neighbour talked all things prostates.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Best Bigga juice drinking years

Mon, 13 May 2024 02:00:21 GMT

Luke think Pete treats his stomach like an abusive parent after he sees him eating Chinese in the office at 9am. Pete's upset no one likes Bigga Juice at Stak HQ. He also complains about the lack of microwave possibilities in the office which turns the conversation to the Darwin Awards as they contemplate how long it would take to microwave your head.

Elsewhere they talk about the fans they've been meeting and discuss what their ideal level of fame would be - would you rather be like the guitarist in Coldplay with the ability to go about his day to day life, or, like Taylor Swift who apparently has to be carried out of planes in a bodybag so no one will see her?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I have absolutely definitely not sh*t myself

Thu, 09 May 2024 02:00:54 GMT

Should a professional footballer be allowed to play 5-aside in the name of friendship? Can old musicians actually produce good work or are they just upheld by the reputation of their youth? We're looking at you Mr. 'Gasm...

Elsewhere Pete tells us how he was woken up by a rando and Luke rants about the about the consequences of sleeping on a train - he outright refuses to be a professional waker-upper! Plus talk turns to politics, who knew Congo and Rwanda were two different countries? *Clearly* not the UK government.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Climb aboard the Lukey Moore

Mon, 06 May 2024 02:00:36 GMT

Luke urges Pete to kill the stowaways he's found in his Japanese car because he's is adamant that they're invasive. This prompts the lads to discuss border control as Lukey relives the moment his football boots where confiscated in New Zealand. Elsewhere, Luke educates us on the Guano Islands, which Donny insists would be better named the Bird Poo Islands, and contemplates the hierarchy of animal poop.

Plus, they also talk about their upcoming holidays and Pete crowns Luke with the title of 'Big Strong Boy' after he tells us about his new holiday assignment: child carrier.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A bit kinky about the ol’ animals

Thu, 02 May 2024 02:00:36 GMT

The lads can’t stop talking about Bear Grylls! Pete contemplates how long he’d last in the wild, as the lads attempt their best impressions and ask the big question: is Bear just kinky about animals? Elsewhere, Luke rants about the 5STAR channel and asks how Ofcom allows erect penis’ on TV after watching a documentary on the porn industry.

Plus, Donny talks all things blood sausage and chicken sashimi.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sacrifice the ducks

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 02:00:02 GMT

What makes a good petrol station? Do you swerve the ducks and risk a pile-up, or drive over them instead? And is flashing a fake penis still flashing?

Elsewhere, Pete tells us about the time he fractured his skull as a baby and Luke explains why he's offended by McCain's 'Daddy or chips' commercial. Plus, the Luke and Pete Show movie club opens its doors once more!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Like a Guinness advert with more blood

Thu, 25 Apr 2024 06:00:11 GMT

Donny learns about the fascinating invention of velcro for babies, Luke calls parents that take their kids to Glastonbury performative, and Pete votes for The Wiggles over the Arctic Monkeys. Elsewhere, they weigh in on Taylor Swift's "tepid" songwriting skills ("she's no Smokey Robinson") because Pete can't understand any of it, while Luke reminds 'the youth' that Madonna existed first.

Plus, the lads talk all things horses.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Donny D. Dawg Pilot Boy

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 02:00:25 GMT

Pete insists that Phil Collins and Bob Hoskins are one in the same but Luke's not having any of it. Luke reveals his ultimate goal is to star as Fagin in Oliver on the West End. Elsewhere we talk about a survey that concluded life was better in the 17th century...

Plus Luke reviews a new movie and Pete goes to pilot school!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A legacy act without a legacy

Thu, 18 Apr 2024 02:00:07 GMT

This week the lads give a full Coachella review and ultimately conclude that Blur's really not for them. Elsewhere, Luke reminisces on his wild surf-style upbringing fuelled by twisted jeans and Red Or Dead t-shirts and Pete gets a lesson in broadcasting 101.

Plus, Donny has the ultimate care update!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Every bloke is a nerd really

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 02:00:07 GMT

Would you want to play a plane simulation game in real time and sit in front of a screen for an 8 hour long-haul flight? The lads talk about arcades in Soho, which leads them to the ultimate question - which arcade games are the gayest?

Elsewhere, Pete compares Luke to an iceberg and Luke learns his lesson when the wife he has access to doesn’t let him in after he’s late for bath time.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tectonic Vasectomy

Thu, 11 Apr 2024 02:00:33 GMT

Pete’s back from Wrestlemania and brings tales of thermal tights, CVS and fried oysters for breakfast. But Luke asks the most important question of all - did Pete miss him?!

Elsewhere, they discuss earthquake advice and the vasectomy saga continues…

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Insanity or incontinence

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 02:00:39 GMT

Luke revisits more call centre nostalgia and raves about the magic of Teenage Mutant Turtles. Plus Pete finds out that Lukey’s a big ol’ nerd who’s eagerly been awaiting the final books of the Game of Thrones series for a whopping 13 years!

Elsewhere, Luke says Pete should go into stand up comedy and is certain that all he’d need to do to find success is wet himself on stage.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just a bit of knockabout fun

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 02:00:48 GMT

Luke comes in hot with tortoiseshell cat facts and impressive goblin knowledge, claiming the title of Dungeon Master. Elsewhere, Pete stumbles across the least vegetarian thing you could possibly do.

Plus, the boys discuss meat jelly and Luke has a new book club entry!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’re not my dad!

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 02:00:05 GMT

Could you tell the difference between New York or South London? Is Donald Trump on a dog hating campaign? And would you mess with an Eastern European tough guy? The lads come armed with the hard questions this week.

Plus, Luke tells us about his great granddad's crazy german shepherd and Pete's recently visited Bulgaria - without telling Daddy Lukey…

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter, you dirty boy...

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 03:00:22 GMT

Warning: don't mess with hobgoblins, they'll get you fired - as Donny can attest. Elsewhere, Luke discovers in the war against air-cons, babies will lose and Pete explains why Luke is the embodiment of bus driver chic. Plus, the lads are certain that having a beard is against the TFL dress code.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When life gives you banana skins, make cocaine!

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 03:00:23 GMT

This week, the lads are on the ultimate myth-busting mission, as they try to work out if you can make cocaine out of banana skins and turn non-alcoholic drinks alcoholic. Elsewhere, Luke sends us to finishing school again, but this time he educates us on pub etiquette. Hot tip: don’t make a barmaid cry by turning down the pub quiz.

Plus, another car update from Pete!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Romance on the dance floor

Thu, 21 Mar 2024 03:00:16 GMT

Pete relives his golden days at Oxygen nightclub and gives us the down low on all of his best dance moves. However, Luke investigates the real question: how effective was this in finding romance on the dance floor?

Elsewhere, after reminiscing about Pete's time playing in a Ska punk band, the lads talk about all things guitars - ever seen one made out of colour pencils or coke bottles? Plus, Luke is insistent that Vans make him cool and Donaldson gives us a much anticipated update on his car.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An Old Fashioned Letter and a Chocolate Bar

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 03:00:16 GMT

On today’s show, the lads debate the respectability of different jobs, from podcasting to lead consultants on neonatal wards - fancy entering into business with Willy Wonka himself? Luke thinks not.

Elsewhere, Luke tells us about the only acceptable form of WhatsApp etiquette. Plus, Pete talks all things Photoshop with a deep dive into Brian Eno’s diary and a long-awaited royal update on Kate Middleton - forget self-help guru, Pete’s set his sights on becoming a royal correspondent next!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Like Nothing Matters

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 03:00:00 GMT

This week, the guys are talking about ‘the poor aesthetic’. Are the Last Dinner Party right? Are people sick of hearing about the cost of living? And was it acceptable to ask Rob Beckett to model in front of piled-high bins on his photoshoot?

Plus, Pete introduces his neighbour to Bigga Juice!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Mr Funky Pants

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 03:00:51 GMT

Today we conclude that if we can shoot rabbits, then we can shoot fascists too as Luke tells us all about the new Nazi documentary he’s seen. But talk quickly turns to Donaldson’s funky pants!

Speaking of Pete, he’s destined to be the next biggest self-help guru with his latest top tips - oh and he also gives us a long awaited car update, drumroll please…

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Professor stinky mouth

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 03:00:45 GMT

Beware if you’re squeamish! Pete starts today’s episode by telling us about his best pimple popping moment. Grim! However, we do at least learn why he used to wear foundation as a teen…

Elsewhere, Luke encourages Pete to buy tooth cement from Amazon. Plus, the lads finally discuss the new Willy Wonka experience that only delivered on making kids cry and parents really, really angry.

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Got any grapes?

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 03:00:47 GMT

Do you think Pete would be a good spy? Today, Luke amazingly explains why he backs Donny for a career in espionage.

Elsewhere, Pete shares his fears that he is addicted to grapes - which admittedly isn’t that 007 - and a listener tells us about the sequence of events that lead to him buying a “vasectomy advent calendar”. It’s just another vintage edition of The Luke and Pete Show.

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Bamboo boy

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 03:00:43 GMT

Have you been wondering how Bryan Johnson's attempt to live forever is going? Well, today Luke and Pete give you an update which unfortunately means more chat about his erections...

On a completely unrelated note, Luke is encouraging Peete to get plastic surgery. Plus. Pete updates us on his car and the lads take a moment to re-live some of their teenage trauma.

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Slippery nipples

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 03:00:20 GMT

In the most Pete Donaldson story ever, today he tells Luke about the time he deliberately drank undiluted cordial. Listen to find out the amazing reason why.

After that, Luke and Pete discuss their favourite viral videos, which both contain men displaying their nipples and a listener makes the mistake of asking us for medical advice. Brave!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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A pocket full of shells

Thu, 22 Feb 2024 03:00:01 GMT

Are pistachios an acceptable breakfast item? Pete Donaldson clearly thought so when he scoffed down a packet in the studio this morning.

On a related note, Pete tells Luke about the 24-hour candy floss machine near his house and the lads discuss the viral story of the breakdancing dad. Plus, we revisit our regular and extremely popular feature on b̶a̶t̶t̶e̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ vasectomies.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Antiques Donaldson

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 03:00:25 GMT

Luke and Pete’s film and TV review club is back! On today’s edition, Pete once again struggles to remember the name of a film he saw at the weekend and tries to work out if he could beat Idris Elba in a fight.

After that, Pete fancies himself as an antiques expert and tells us about the time he stole a picture from a barbershop.

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Portsmouth Chainsaw Juggler

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 03:00:36 GMT

Should Luke and Pete start a travelling magic act? They contemplate the idea on today’s show after Luke admits a magician recently impressed him with a magic trick.

Luke insists he can bring juggling to the show, although we’re yet to see the proof. We’re also waiting to discover what Pete is going to bring. Maybe his fart machine?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Vasectomies “R” Us

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 03:00:52 GMT

A song that takes over 500 years to finish, a giant fibreglass squid, can you think of anything better for rich people to spend their money on?

Elsewhere, Luke tells Pete about a recent meeting he had with a reality TV star before the lads compose their own vasectomy themed love story. You’ve been warned…

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Angel boys

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 03:00:28 GMT

Pete's found a new Instagram page that he's obsessed with – and Luke wants Pete to take inspiration from it. That may or may not involve buying some million-pound handbags...

On an unrelated note, the lads then review Greg Wallace's Saturday routine and Pete threatens to start up a side hustle selling premium phones.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Vasectomy flowers

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 03:00:35 GMT

Elon Musk is putting microchips in people’s brains and the anti-vaxxers are okay with it… I wonder why?

Today, Luke and Pete discuss that, hear why fish pedicures have been cancelled and get told that a listener recently listened to the show while having a vasectomy. It’s all part of the service!

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Bigga boy juice

Thu, 01 Feb 2024 03:00:11 GMT

Have you ever imagined what Pete would be like on Come Dine With Me? Luke and Pete think about that prospect on today's episode. Imagine the house search...

Speaking of Pete, he was recently the victim of a youthful prank while on a train. He tells us about that and also about his new pastime of sitting in his car drinking Bigga Juice. Should we have expected anything else?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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AI toenails

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 03:00:14 GMT

What really is the definition of artificial intelligence? Enjoyably, Pete tries to explain that on today's show...

On a different but strangely related note, we learn more about the possibility of people wearing fake toenails and we hear from a listener who explains why HP Sauce is popular with people indigenous to the Arctic Circle.

You can't say this show is not a broad church...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Halfords, probably

Thu, 25 Jan 2024 03:00:18 GMT

Pete opens up his sexual sound effect catalogue for the world to endure, while Luke revels in being the bad boy of garlic pressing. Just a normal show, then.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Dusty bacon ball

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 03:00:55 GMT

If you think you know Pete Donaldson, can you guess what his favourite movie of all time is? He reveals all on today's show.

Elsewhere, a listener tells Luke and Pete about the worst thing they ever did at school and the lads assess the music careers of Phil Collins and PJ & Duncan (aka Ant & Dec). You can decide who is the more impactful artist...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Can I touch your cheeks?

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 03:00:26 GMT

Pete's Toyota Century saga rolls on! Today, we find out that things have amazingly got even worse for Donny.

Elsewhere, Luke is forced to bring up the trauma of the time he lived with Pete for a week and we get an update on Pete's dad's current routine. Plus, there is a rare cameo from Luke's cat.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Pete's Power

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 03:00:52 GMT

Pete's house is the only one in the street at hasn't been affected by power cuts recently so he has been handing out free electricity to his neighbours. Luke thinks he's being scammed...

Elsewhere, Luke and Pete reveal what they were like in school and Pete gives us his predictions for 2024. They're predictably pessimistic.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Pete’s Car Club

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 03:00:49 GMT

The day we never thought would arrive is finally here! The tax man has finally caught up with Pete Donaldson…

Today, Pete tells us all about that before the wife Luke has access to provides live feedback to some of Luke’s complaints on the podcast. Plus, we get an update on the most (de)pressing story on The Luke and Pete Show right now… Pete’s new car. Is it still in Southampton? Listen to find out!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Badge of dad

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 03:00:36 GMT

Luke is trying to buy a safe. His journey into fatherhood is officially complete.

Today, he and Pete hear from a listener that found a stash of Gaviscon buried in their local park. On top of that, a different listener tells them about the time that they once caught some renegade putting brown sauce on a slice of cake. Incredible behaviour.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Noom year, Noom me

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 03:00:37 GMT

It’s 2024 and Luke’s on a health kick. Pete doesn’t need a health kick, however, as he’s losing enough weight stressing about how to get access to his new car.

He tells us all about that and Luke tells us about the new Mickey Mouse horror movie. The lads then stick two fingers up to the haters and prove that the battery feature still lives on, stronger than ever, in 2024.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Don’t worry officer, I’m eating a Subway

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 03:00:55 GMT

Pete has started the year by disappointing himself. Sounds like every other year then…

Today, he and Luke try to work out how he can drive his new car home without any number plates. Speaking of Pete’s schemes, we also get an update on his mission to own a Mr Doughnut. 2024's going to be a vintage year.

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The Doughnut Republic

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 03:00:25 GMT

It’s the period between Christmas and New Year and Luke and Pete have descended into madness. The result? They’re trying to work out what explicit items you could 3D print.

Elsewhere, Pete explains why the partner he has access to wouldn’t buy the Christmas present he really wanted. She’s probably made a sensible decision, to be honest…

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You greedy c...

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 03:00:24 GMT

Merry Christmas from the Luke and Pete Show! Today, we're celebrating the big day by re-reading our most famous Christmas tale and revelling in the festive spirit of calling your mum a greedy c...

We also hear some new festive stories which include a quite cruel Christmas Day prank and an incident where one of our listeners almost "killed" their grandfather. Don't worry, he was laughing in the end!

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.

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Elf and safety

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 03:00:12 GMT

"You can't do anything these days", except dress up as a group of priests and sail down your local river in a raft called the "Boat out of Hell".

Today, Luke and Pete officially kick-off Christmas by reading out your Christmas traditions. Is there anything more devious than putting Baileys on your Cornflakes? We'll let you decide...

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Ripped divorcees in leather... in your area (workplace)

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 03:00:30 GMT

Future divorcees Pete and Luke take cringe culture to task, and Pete's got a rather unwelcome update on the imported Japanese car front (it's arriving at a most unfortunate time and yes, he's absolutely fine with that.)

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

This Thursday - the first of our two Luke and Pete Show Christmas shows! Strap yourselves in... with a string of tinsel.

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Podsmiths

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 03:00:30 GMT

Pete’s getting a new car and he’s ordered it from Japan, obviously. The lads track the car's journey across the sea on today’s show.

Elsewhere, Luke and Pete take a moment to enjoy Jeremy Vine's latest faux pas and a listener sets the parameters in which the battery feature will end. You better send us your new players!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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The Dangerous Donaldsons Act

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 03:00:44 GMT

Christmas is a time for friends and family. For Luke and Pete, that means spending the evening going to see an indie band together.

Today, we hear all about that recent social excursion. Pete then stays in the Christmas spirit by updating us on his annual trip home to settle differences with his family and the lads try and decide if a BBC presenter should be sticking their middle finger up just before they read the news.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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The Legend of Bones

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 03:00:33 GMT

Introducing Pete’s new golfing alter ego, Wentworth Bones. Wentworth Bones’ personality traits are just as unpredictable and chaotic as you might expect…

Once the meet and greet is over, Luke then tells Pete all about how he got revenge over one of his fellow passengers on his flight back from America. Plus, Pete explains why he had to wear surgical gloves while putting up his Christmas lights at the weekend.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Daddy Cool

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 03:00:28 GMT

A listener, Martyn, caused quite a stir in the Luke and Pete Show community a few weeks ago by sending a photo of what appeared to be a fridge built into a fence.

Today, Martyn is back with a much-needed update on the situation. Elsewhere, Luke tells Pete all about his trip to America and the latest 3D printing antics from stateside. He also offers Pete a brand new scarf. But not from the 3D printer.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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An excellent prank

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 03:00:37 GMT

Pete wants to start a cult. Is anyone surprised by this news?

Once Luke has delved into that a bit more on today's show, he then tells Pete all about the trauma he suffered after watching a horror movie as a child. Speaking of which, is it good parenting to play a paranormal prank on your children when they’re already scared of ghosts? We'll let you decide...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Scampi surprise

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 03:00:37 GMT

Have you ever wondered what happens if you eat scampi fries that are three years out of date? Unfortunately, one of our listeners has found out.

Today, we hear all about that and Pete tells us about the time he made a major faux pas while presenting a Battle of the Bands competition in the Hard Rock Cafe. Donny really has led a glamorous life...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Too fast not furious

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 03:00:01 GMT

Luke's been caught speeding. Sounds bad, but we quickly learn that Pete's traffic crimes are much worse.

The lads then put on their tinfoil hats and question the legitimacy of bus lanes and damp meters. Plus, we discover that Pete can do an excellent impression of a mafia boss. That probably explains all the traffic crimes...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Where can I park my Jet Ski?

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 03:00:15 GMT

Pete's trying to work out if he could park a Jet Ski on a double yellow line. Which we can all agree is great news for the Luke and Pete Show community.

On top of that, the lads come to the realisation that it must be mad to work for the Guinness World Records and we read a quite baffling email about a fridge that appears to have been built into a fence. We must find out more!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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My jaw might jiggle jiggle

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 03:00:25 GMT

Luke predicts how Pete will die on today’s show. It involves stomach problems and a bottle of Gaviscon, so he’s probably onto something…

Elsewhere, Luke admits that he would like Louis Theroux to have a boxing fight with Piers Morgan and Pete reveals that he used to write his own comic strips. Should we be surprised?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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The Gaviscon Cartel

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 03:00:29 GMT

Pete almost got in a fight on his most recent weekend away. To be fair, it serves him right for going somewhere that wasn’t an indie bar.

The lads then prove they are definitely too old for fighting as they discuss their favourite antacids and we read an email from a listener who visited the big Vegas sphere. It turns out Pete's prediction about the sphere has already come true...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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De-centralized retinas

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 03:00:52 GMT

We start today’s show by talking about Jet Skis but before long we’re talking about the impending death of civilisation in the Western world. Welcome to The Luke and Pete Show.

If that’s not enough for you, Pete trims his nose hair live on the show and we hear about an NFT conference that made people go blind.

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The scooter of the sea

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 03:00:30 GMT

How does Pete not already own a Jet Ski? Luke encourages him to put that right on today's show.

Plus, a listener shares some extremely worrying news for the Luke and Pete Show community as there is due to be an EU update to battery regulations. What! No more new players?

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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World Class Basics

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Pete “skipped through” the UFO documentary that Luke recommended. That’s pretty good going for Donny, to be fair.

Today, the lads discuss that and they also disagree over the legacy of Michael Parkinson. Plus, we encourage one of our listeners to listen to The Luke and Pete show during the birth of their child.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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I’m too fat

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 03:00:04 GMT

Pete was forced to drive a stranger's car over the weekend. I really don’t think the owner of the car knew what they were getting themselves in for.

Speaking of which, a listener gets in touch on today’s show to review Donny’s small talk and we also read an email about a man who faked his own kidnapping. And no, that final story isn't also about Pete, thankfully.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Bananageddon

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 02:00:27 GMT

Would you remove your own gallbladder to be able to eat black pudding? That’s the dilemma that Pete is faced with on today’s show.

On top of that, Donny also reveals his flood defence strategy - which is predictably illegal - and Luke tells us about the time he created “Bananageddon” as a child. Delicious?

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I am not a Berliner

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 02:00:34 GMT

Luke needed a bigger boy to fix his computer and, amazingly, he asked Pete. Donny did spend the weekend taking his scooter apart, to be fair.

Today, we hear all about that and we also read an email explaining what happens inside Berlin sex clubs. It is fair to say Luke and Pete aren’t now planning to visit one anytime soon.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Give it a sniff

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 02:00:38 GMT

Luke and Pete start today’s episode by giving out food safety advice. WARNING: Do not take food safety advice from Luke and Pete. You’ve heard about Donny’s health issues…

Speaking of people doing things they’re not qualified for, the lads then give their thoughts on the latest YouTube boxing and they also hear from a listener who attended Ricky Lambert's latest protest.

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Would you like a lamb bone?

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 02:00:24 GMT

Pete’s not into conspiracy theories but on today’s show he does admit that he thinks politicians are lizards. Seems reasonable.

Luke questions why Pete still has all the same hobbies after finding out he's been giving out indie bar recommendations to listeners in Japan. Plus, the lads are introduced to the absolutely mental world of Freecycle.

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What does the dog say?

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 02:00:24 GMT

Hulk Hogan content is back on the show. The man might have been able to wrestle for 400 days in one year, but he doesn’t know what noise a dog makes. Interesting.

Plus, Luke tells Pete about the time he met Laurence Fox and we hear a story about a dog that got pictured driving a car.

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Niam Leeson

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 02:00:52 GMT

Luke and Pete are genuinely impressed by that massive sphere in Las Vegas. It's just a shame that U2 are involved.

Today, the lads discuss that and give an unwanted update on Liam Neeson. But fear not, there's also an update about some sheep that ate 100kg of cannabis.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Unidentified flying Donaldson

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 02:00:47 GMT

The first five minutes of today’s show are spent talking about Luke’s idyllic trip to Newcastle. Then the lads start talking about conspiracy theories, obviously…

Speaking of which, is it possible that the link between four separate UFO sightings is Pete Donaldson? Listen to find out more!

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Low hanging asteroids

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 02:00:22 GMT

Science doesn't get the respect it deserves, apparently. Luke starts the show by telling us about the James Webb Telescope. Pete is suspicious that Luke is actually just somehow making a knob gag.

Speaking of knob gags, Pete gives us an update on his mission to learn small talk...

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Pete talk

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 02:00:19 GMT

Remember that time capsule that was just filled with silt? Well, they have now found something else in there. Convenient...

There has been another interesting find, this time in Brazil, where a brand new animal was amazingly discovered. Plus, Luke starts teaching Pete how to make small talk. It went even worse than you might think.

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I'm gonna live forever

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 02:00:32 GMT

Would you want to live forever? Today, Luke and Pete discuss the tech billionaire who is trying to do just that.

In contrast, Luke then suggests he could break the world record for eating Jaffa Cakes and the lads hear about a man that’s trying to RUN across the Atlantic. Yes you read that right, run!

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A message in the silt

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 02:00:26 GMT

Pete leaves the country for two weeks and all the schools, hospitals and gyms are now falling down. Who knew that Donny was the man keeping this country together?

Elsewhere, we hear about a 195-year-old time capsule which turned out to be quite disappointing and Pete explains what happens when a dog bites a battery, which is information he probably shouldn't have…

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Jurassic Clerk

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 02:00:54 GMT

Pete’s back from Japan! The highlights of the trip involved checking into a hotel where a dinosaur was working on reception and committing a cultural faux pas in a fancy restaurant.

Meanwhile, in the UK, Pete had his scooter stolen and a man broke out of prison. It probably wasn’t worth coming back, to be honest.

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I would lie to you

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 02:00:18 GMT

Did you know that Hulk Hogan could have been in Metallica? Did you know Hulk Hogan wrestled 400 days in one year? Did you know that Elvis was a Hulkamaniac? No? That's because none of those things are true...

Today, Pete tells Luke all about the many lies of Hulk Hogan. We also hear a ghost story that we want to believe and Pete asks the question, can you eat insulin? Worrying...

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Petey Fake Legs

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 02:00:58 GMT

Pete’s bought a pair of fake silicon legs! Confused? We were too. Find out why on today’s show.

Once we’ve heard about that we go on a hunt to find our tallest listener and we also start reading out your ghost stories. Spooky!

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Turned water into White Claw

Thu, 07 Sep 2023 02:00:52 GMT

What would Jesus be like at a party? That’s the debate that Luke and Pete start today’s show with.

Elsewhere, Luke has been reading about what it’s like to live and work in Death Valley. He tells Pete all about that and the lads also discuss what are the perfect clothes for sleeping in.

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It makes you think

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 02:00:11 GMT

What makes someone believe in a conspiracy theory? Luke and Pete try to get to the bottom of that increasingly important question on today’s show.

We then read your emails, which include another great example of someone’s job determining their career and a story from a listener who, like Luke, has had to battle with a neighbour who was trying to reserve their own parking space.

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Oh, Mark Ruffalo

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 02:00:59 GMT

Pete reveals that he’s met the man who voiced Mario on today’s show. Should we be surprised by this news?

We also hear all about the first time that Pete met Luke’s dad and Luke tells us about the rather entertaining colleague he used to work with. His catchphrase is particularly enjoyable.

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Are you impressed?

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 02:00:54 GMT

The joke of this year's Edinburgh Fringe has been revealed and - unsurprisingly - Luke and Pete are not impressed.

In a classic Luke and Pete pivot we go from talking about that to discussing head transplants. Plus, Pete reveals the real reason why he bought a Jag.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Do you believe in ghosts?

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 02:00:59 GMT

Pete recently went on a ghost hunt. Although it sounds like he spent more time playing with tech than he did hunting ghosts, as you’d expect.

In yet more predictable news, Luke’s fuming because his neighbour is once again using a traffic cone to save their parking space and a listener tells us about a bar in Madrid that is quite literally nuts.

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The cult of Lochvinder

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 02:00:54 GMT

Pete's booked a load of surprise excursions in Japan for the partner he has access to. I think we all know how that’s going to end...

We also take the time to discuss the potential cage fight between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk - and if that's not happening, we'll just do a Luke vs Pete cage fight instead!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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The birthday paradox

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 02:00:55 GMT

Lad Moore takes us on a trip down memory lane as he regales Pete with stories all about his experience living with 30 other chaps while at university. Explains a lot…

Once the nostalgia is over, we then try to finally prove the existence of the Birthday Paradox. The result was absolutely fascinating…

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Talk Moore

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 02:00:59 GMT

Pete’s finally going back to Japan for the first time in 3 and a half years. Now we know why he hasn’t paid his tax bill…

As well as hearing all about that on today’s show we also read an email about nominative determinism aka people whose names seem to have decided their jobs. You’ll never guess what the world record holder for flipping and catching the most beer mats in one hand is called. Listen to find out.

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Don’t put silver balls in your ears

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 02:00:38 GMT

Luke and Pete both share a house with people and pets that don't respect them. Today, in hearing all about that Pete ends up doing an impression of his dog and telling us about the creative way he stopped the pup he has access to from licking his own nethers.

Elsewhere, we hear about an extremely valuable arcade machine that was found in the street and marvel at Matt Hancock’s latest venture into content creation.

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Mute-iny on the Bounty

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 02:00:12 GMT

Moore's completely enamoured with a man who's making claims under oath that he's seen an alien in his toilet, or something like that.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Tax does have to be taxing

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 02:00:30 GMT

Luke puts his money where his mouth is regarding an impending pool competition and Pete puts his money as far away from the taxman as humanly possible (into pokemon cards and snouts.)

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Luke vs Karen

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 02:00:51 GMT

An unnamed “clever, handsome” man who may or may not be Luke has started a war with one of his neighbours that is illegally trying to save a parking space. The Robin Hood of parking, I hear you say?

Elsewhere, we hear about a policeman that got caught throwing naughty magazines out of his car window and a listener tells us about some quite incredible fried egg-flavoured crisps.

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It’s timer to Heimer

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 02:00:10 GMT

Pete’s been to see Oppenheimer. And he's worked out how to improve the movie by creating a catchy catchphrase for J. Robert Oppenheimer!

Luke hasn’t seen Oppenheimer, but he DOES have a different movie of the week recommendation. Elsewhere, Pete is forced to review his claim that he’s scored 180 while playing darts.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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One hundred and Petey

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 02:00:04 GMT

Who do you think would win in a game of darts, Luke or Pete? How about pool? Luke lays down a pub games-themed gauntlet on today's show.

The lads then reveal some of their teenage dating mishaps and a listener gets in touch recommending a quite amazing upgrade on the electric fly swat.

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Only Beef Cream and Pizzas

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 02:00:01 GMT

In an unbelievable turn of events, Pete recently went on an Only Fools and Horses-themed pilgrimage! He even bought some merch!!

In an even more unbelievable turn of events, he somehow didn’t find an indie bar on his trip. But he did discover the pizza topping ‘Beef Cream’ - even he was slightly suspicious…

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Would you like to shoot my gun?

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 02:00:46 GMT

Indie Pete has deserted his former life of gigs and Indie Sleeze nights to go and watch some AI-inspired stand-up comedy. Still quite on-brand for Pete, to be fair.

We then discuss our favourite anti-heroes from the world of American TV box sets - let us know who yours are! Also, a listener seeks our advice on whether he should have lent his gun to a random German he met in the American wilderness…

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Maggot Surprise

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 02:00:22 GMT

Pete started the day by clearing maggots out of his bin while his dog tried to hump his leg. We wish this was an exaggeration...

In other news, Pete sent Luke an electric fly swat after we discussed them on the show recently and both lads take umbrage with the fact that producer Rory said a white chocolate Kinder Bueno is better than the traditional milk chocolate one.

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American air base pirate

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 02:00:22 GMT

Pete’s got back into gaming. Sounds exciting, right? What it really involves is simulating a flight from Luton to Southend. Obviously…

We then have a submission in our hunt to find a band with five 10/10 albums in a row and we hear about a dad that started a side hustle pirating American movies while working at a US air base. Excellent dad behaviour.

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Alpha, Beta, Cocker

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 02:00:12 GMT

Pete’s been to see Pulp live recently and Luke is predictably displeased by his co-host's behaviour. It’s not stopping Pete from going to see them again though.

Elsewhere, Luke has come to realise that this fatherhood thing is actually quite difficult. We also get an update from the listener that was standing to be elected for the Danish parliament.

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The kids are alright?

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 02:00:39 GMT

News has reached us that KSI and Logan Paul have had bottles of Prime thrown at them. Is our protest finally working?

On a related note, Pete takes time on today's show to applaud the creativity of the Grimace milkshake TikTok trend and we receive an email that explains that the conspiracy theory Pete made up might actually be true...

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Why’d you only call me from your Jag?

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 02:00:57 GMT

Glastonbury has been and gone and Luke and Pete can’t agree on whether the Arctic Monkeys should be doing an impression of a Las Vegas crooner band.

Elsewhere, Pete’s had to get his Jag serviced (it didn’t go well), Luke carries on his war against Thames Water and we pay tribute to a legend in the battery game.

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Catspiracy

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 02:00:01 GMT

We still haven’t given up on the attempt to create our own conspiracy theory. Today, Luke reveals he’s been studying old conspiracies for inspiration.

Once we hear about that, Luke then tells us about how his cat jumped out of a 15-foot window and Pete tells us about the latest food purchase that has upset his stomach.

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Conspiracy People

Thu, 22 Jun 2023 02:00:35 GMT

Pete’s decided that he wants to start his own conspiracy theory. So, Luke helps him brainstorm ideas on today’s show.

In an unlinked conversation, we also start a campaign to get Pete a job in the House of Commons and the two lads once again lock horns over Pete's favourite band, Pulp.

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Eight Cups a Week

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 02:00:47 GMT

Pete would look great in a leotard and a bald cap, don't you think? It could happen, find out how on today's show!!

Elsewhere, Luke gets stuck down a rabbit hole trying to think of Beatles coffee puns and we finally pay our respects to Long Boi. Well kinda...

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Luke the Big Red Dad

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 02:00:55 GMT

Luke’s back!! Pete's decided that guests are too much admin, so he’s welcomed Luke back onto the pod.

Today, we hear all about what Luke’s been up to during his time off and Pete reveals that he's revisited the Airbnb where he once put his foot through the ceiling. It turns out his handy work has not aged well. Who would have guessed?

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A lot of rich holiday food

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 02:00:06 GMT

You wanted another awful slice of Donaldson domesticity, and we've once again managed to talk round the one person who can give us a peek into what it's like to go on holiday with Pete.

Turns out he makes poor food choices.

All the time.

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Just sexy enough for Haribo

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 02:00:04 GMT

Today Pete is joined by quite the guest. Not only does he appear in Stath Lets Flats and a Haribo advert where he plays a policeman with a child’s voice, but he ALSO hosts the breakfast show on Britain’s third-most talked about sports radio station. It’s Mark Davison aka Ian Fiveankles aka Colin from Portsmouth!

Mark gives Pete a small insight into what it is like to be Ian Fiveankles and Pete gives Mark a small insight into what it is like to be Pete Donaldson. In other words, he tells him all about how he's spent the week learning to become a broadband engineer. Obviously…

Follow Exploding Heads Here. Listen to Sports Horn Here. Follow Ian Fiveankles Here.

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Dungeons & Darkfruits

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 02:00:31 GMT

On today's guest episode, Pete is joined by Jordan Middler, the host of the excellent Stak show, VGC: A video game podcast. Pete tells Jordan all about his recent trip to Manchester, which, of course, ended in another new ailment, and we hear how Jordan's only experience playing Dungeons & Dragons was much more rowdy than he expected!

Plus, we read an email detailing some quite traumatizing dad behaviour...

Follow Jordan Middler Here. Listen to VGC Here.

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Where's that cheese going?

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 02:00:55 GMT

Pete's back for another special guest episode!! This time, he’s joined by Anthony Richardson, one half of the sports comedy duo Exploding Heads and co-host of the excellent Stak podcast, Sports Horn.

Anthony arrived armed with a story about how the winner of the UK cheese rolling race won despite being knocked unconscious. He also shared a VERY strong opinion about Royal Blood's music after they threw a strop on stage at the weekend.

Follow Exploding Heads Here. Listen to Sports Horn Here.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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The partner I "sometimes" have access to

Mon, 29 May 2023 02:00:37 GMT

Today, we've got a very special episode for you! Pete is joined by the partner he has access to, and she is answering your questions, giving us special firsthand insight into what it's like to live with Diggory Donaldson.

Sarah tells us all about their romantic fishing trip, to the supermarket. She also provides us with more information on Pete's stomach issues and amazingly tells possibly the most explicit story we have ever heard on the show.

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I can get that for you

Thu, 25 May 2023 02:00:50 GMT

Breaking news!! Pete’s started drinking herbal tea. Today, Luke interrogates Donny about this new development in his life.

Elsewhere, we hear about Pete’s chaotic habit of accidentally reading books that he has read before and he also tells us about the man he met online who has promised to try help him get hold of “anything he needs’…

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don’t drink your dad’s Prime

Mon, 22 May 2023 02:00:15 GMT

Remember Geordie Racer? It’s literally a programme about racing pigeons that ran for two months on BBC2. TV was mad in the 80s.

Pete tells us about that on today’s show and, leaning into the 80s theme, Luke reminisces about his memories of playing the video game Exile growing up. Plus, a listener explains how he's stopped kids in his local area drinking Prime.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Petey D

Thu, 18 May 2023 02:00:08 GMT

Pete bought a new car and he’s too embarrassed to admit what brand it is. Given that his old car was a Fiat 500 you can only imagine what he’s bought now.

Despite his embarrassment, Pete amazingly picked up a hitchhiker while driving it home from the car dealership. We hear all about that on today’s show and we also get a surprise visit from Sammy the dog. Adorable.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How big is your neck?

Mon, 15 May 2023 02:00:00 GMT

Who's got a bigger neck: Luke or Mike Tyson? That’s the unexpected debate that starts today’s show.

Once we get to the bottom of that, we have an email addressing Luke’s bold claim that McDonald’s have never sold onion rings and a listener tells us that they have started behaving like Don Draper. Pete also goes to war against all of Hollywood. He just can’t help himself.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Petey whisky

Thu, 11 May 2023 02:00:59 GMT

Pete’s got a three day hangover! Is this what happens after you turn 42? It turns out that Luke was indirectly responsible for Pete’s overindulgence, which pleased him greatly.

But more importantly, Pete PROMISED us a King Charles ear for the coronation but we are yet to hear any confirmation whether the ear was made. Well, wait no longer. Pete reveals all on today’s episode…

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The boy in the box

Mon, 08 May 2023 02:00:20 GMT

Luke’s forced to face up to his past on today’s episode as he tells Pete all about a very memorable encounter he had with a mysterious character as a child. Amazingly, Pete manages to solve the mystery in about 30 seconds and uncovers exactly who the person was Luke encountered all those years ago.

We also hear about an unwelcome development in Luke’s local community and a listener gets in touch with their own story about Tic Tacs. Warning: The story contains ‘unpleasant details’!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One Benny Hill to rule them all

Thu, 04 May 2023 02:00:35 GMT

Did you know that Benny Hill gets a mention in The Lord of the Rings movies? It’s not in the way you might think, however.

Luke tells Pete all about that on today’s episode and we also discuss his newfound TikTok fame after one of his “hot takes” went viral. Plus, we also hear all about Pete’s latest DIY project as he attempts to prepare his Fiat Punto so that it is fit for sale.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dungeon Master Donny

Mon, 01 May 2023 02:00:50 GMT

Pete has revealed that he got banned from playing Dungeons & Dragons when he was younger for being “too whimsical”. That’s next level Diggory Donaldson behaviour…

Pete then tells us all about his most recent trip to the recycling centre and we also hear all about his plans to upgrade his Fiat Punto!! Heartbreaking news I am sure you’ll all agree.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Dirty Dentist

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 02:00:37 GMT

Pete’s teeth still hurt two weeks after he got his first filling. He’s since found out that the person he saw is nicknamed “The Dirty Dentist” - Oh dear!

Elsewhere, we hear about an AI-generated photo that won a photography competition and a listener tells us about a very unusual encounter he had with Pete at WrestleMania. At least Pete clears things up though. Well, kind of...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Make your Monday one to remember

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 02:00:11 GMT

Erotic fiction. That’s how Pete decides to start today’s episode. Amazingly, things only get more explicit from there.

We then accidentally create a new slogan for the Luke and Pete Show (thankfully that is less explicit) and Pete reveals how he plans to celebrate the King's coronation.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

T*tting about with my toilet

Thu, 20 Apr 2023 02:00:04 GMT

We told you previously that Pete has been wearing a heart monitor. Well, you’ll never guess what the solution was to his cardiac problems...

And, in a strangely related conversation, Pete admits that he is having a bigger boy around to fix a problem with his toilet. Meanwhile, we also discover the surprising cause of the majority of plane crashes. It's not what you might think...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’m Donald Trump and I drink Prime

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 02:00:40 GMT

Tiktok’s trash. That’s the news that Luke has been reading recently. However, Pete’s algorithm quickly proves otherwise.

We then address the fact that Pete forgot to tell us Lewis Capaldi performed a gig on his flight to America and Donald Trump gives us a huge helping hand in our mission to make Prime uncool. Thanks Donald!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Big lovely dinosaur lips

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 02:00:43 GMT

Our “do you see chocolate in the street” debate reaches its conclusion on today’s show. No spoilers, but it doesn’t end well for Peter Donaldson.

Things are going worse for Elon Musk, however, who has been displaying more weird behaviour. Luke then admits that he thinks he would be good at stand-up comedy and we learn that dinosaurs might have had big lips. Bizarre.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Paved with chocolate

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 02:00:17 GMT

Easter has been and gone which means only one thing: the streets are now covered in chocolate. According to Pete anyway…

Elsewhere, we hear all about a listener fainting while listening to this very show and we receive an anonymous email that has everything we ask for in an email. Luke also admits to getting in trouble with the law while on his Lime bike. Oh dear!

Did you see chocolate in the street this Easter? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Elbow Drop It Like It’s Hot

Thu, 06 Apr 2023 02:00:38 GMT

Pete has just returned from his trip to America and the first thing he’s doing is recording an episode with his old pal, Luke.

He tells us all about his experience staying at Richard Bacon’s house, his endeavours to takedown MrBeast and why we should never underestimate Snoop Dogg. Luke then questions if Pete has made the news for being disruptive at the theatre.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don’t look in my wash bag

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 02:00:44 GMT

Pete’s knocking on the door of 42 and he’s finally had his first filling. Luke doesn’t help the situation by warning Pete that he now isn’t allowed to fly the day before he goes to New York…

Pete then has a very unusual request for the LAPS community and a listener’s story reminds us that you shouldn’t arse about in the ocean.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heil Peter

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 02:00:18 GMT

Last week we commented on the fact that Pete is starting to look more and more like a certain fascist dictator. Well, unfortunately, his new haircut hasn’t helped the situation…

Elsewhere, we hear about some deviant pudding behaviour from a potential US presidential candidate… And speaking of deviant behaviour, Pete then admits he would put a listener's fingers in his mouth. Nice.

Do you have any deviant pudding behaviours? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’re fired

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 02:00:17 GMT

Has anyone watched The Apprentice recently? No? Good. Unfortunately, Luke has and he doesn’t hold back when giving his thoughts on today’s show.

After that, Pete’s discovered an unbelievable story that he is bursting to tell Luke and we get an anonymous email from one of our listeners who writes the law in the UK. We have more power than we realise…

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Call the bigger boys

Thu, 23 Mar 2023 03:00:57 GMT

Pete had to delay recording this episode because he had a bigger boy in his house. You have to feel for the bigger boy having to deal with Donaldson’s D.I.Y-inflicted mess.

Luke then raises serious concerns about whether Pete has been living inside his car and we discover that one of the world’s worst dictators currently has a passion for wearing hats. It’s truly baffling stuff…

Have you had a bigger boy in your house recently? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should we apologise to MrBeast?

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 03:00:45 GMT

The partner Pete has access to has been DJing at an indie club. Of course, Donny couldn’t resist turning up and clearing the dancefloor. Although the way he cleared the dancefloor is unusual, even for him…

After the break, a listener tries to convince us to change our stance on MrBeast and we hear a brilliant story about a murder mystery that was a bit TOO realistic. Join us!

Do you have an opinion on MrBeast? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’ll never take me alive

Thu, 16 Mar 2023 03:00:03 GMT

Pete’s finally visited the house Luke has access to but he DID NOT bring his slippers with him.

Do our listeners agree with Luke’s "life hack" that you should bring slippers when visiting a friend's house? We find out on today’s show. Plus, Pete worries whether his honesty on this show will eventually come back to bite him. To be fair, he probably shouldn't admit to eating even half of the things he does...

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whatever you say, MasterBeast

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 05:00:23 GMT

We've taken down Prime and now we're going after another YouTuber’s confectionery. MrBeast, we're coming for you...

From YouTube to Hollywood, a listener then promises to leave some Luke and Pete Show nuggets in upcoming blockbusters and we receive an email that takes us on a trip down memory lane. Turns out Pete’s Barenaked Ladies impression is still spot on!

Have you fought back against MrBeast? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get off my copper

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 05:00:03 GMT

"Two games of pool and an argument." That's how Pete recently celebrated his dad's birthday! Would you expect anything else?

However, he has at least returned from those revelries armed with a quite brilliant story relating to some copper, a taser and some poachers. We also hear why members of our community are eligible to drink #Prime.

Are you eligible to drink Prime? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The dog review

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 05:00:09 GMT

Pete’s got a brand-new pup! On today’s episode, he “reviews” his new furry companion much to the astonishment of Luke.

Elsewhere, we hear how our new passion for Lime bikes is influencing our listeners and our mission to make Prime uncool spreads across the Atlantic…

Are you helping us make Prime uncool? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lovestruck Romeo

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 05:00:39 GMT

Pete's a renaissance man. Or is he a Tudor? Who bloody cares?! Either way, he tells us all about his most recent role-playing exploits on today's episode.

We also hear about his quite bizarre and utterly on brand journey to Wembley and Luke explains why a previously unknown elderly gentleman has been dancing around his house. It's just another Thursday really. Join us!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I drink Prime

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 05:00:49 GMT

Pete’s 41, wearing a heart monitor, had a recent near-death experience in the ocean... and he’s drinking a bottle of Prime!

If Prime isn't uncool now then I don’t think it ever will be.

A massive thanks to our listener Noah for sending us our first case of Prime. The revolution starts here - join us!

Want to join the revolution? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Roman sex toys

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 05:00:57 GMT

Archaeologists have dug up a 2,000-year-old Roman sex toy - those naughty Romans! On today’s episode, we have a plausible theory about who it belonged to.

Additionally, Pete’s been given access to a puppy! He’s also been given access to a heart monitor and – amazingly – he starts to take it apart live on the show. It wasn’t worth it for the batteries he found inside…

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Willy Wonka’s tinfoil hat

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 05:00:32 GMT

The streets are paved with chocolate! Didn’t you know? That's what Pete thinks anyway. Listen in to see how he tries to explain this one...

Elsewhere, we discuss the possibility that UFOs are flying over America and – shockingly – Luke appears to be sympathetic towards a group of so-called ‘conspiracy theorists’. You really have to hear it to believe it.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Diggory’ Mills, the snake-catcher

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 05:00:41 GMT

Luke has discovered the 19th-century version of Pete Donaldson. You’ll never guess his profession…

Pete then airs his dirty laundry with Luke following comments about his clothes, Luke continues to air his dirty laundry with Thames Water, and both lads air their dirty laundry with pop-punk covers.

Have any dirty laundry to air? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Read-ing festival

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 05:00:38 GMT

Pete’s been on Facebook Marketplace again… What he’s found is predictably strange and, of course, unnecessarily explicit.

Once we’ve recovered from that, we then host our very own email read-out festival headlined by petrol pumps, an atomic wedgie gone wrong and Tamagotchis. It’s a beautiful lineup!

What to be on the lineup for our next festival? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A new player has left the game

Thu, 09 Feb 2023 05:00:02 GMT

Today’s episode sees the boys confronted with the disturbing fact that sloths used to be over six feet tall.

And if that isn’t enough to get pulses racing, Luke discusses outdated pagan rituals before Pete reviews the autobiography of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. There’s also drama in the much-loved battery section due to a contested new player causing havoc…

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Save me, Abraham!

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 05:00:47 GMT

Pete’s been on holiday. Unfortunately, he didn’t see another pear but he did come face to face with the prospect of death. Yes, really. Poor Petey.

Meanwhile, a listener experienced more weird behaviour at the hands of everyone’s favourite furniture store, and Luke’s delighted to find out the chat about bin men has made it all the way to America.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who burnt toast?

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 05:00:50 GMT

Luke starts the show with the sad news that his toaster has finally broken after nine years of service.

Amazingly, this foreshadows what turns out to be a very dramatic and abrupt ending to today’s show. Elsewhere, we hear 2023 predictions from journalists writing in 1923 and we’re not kidding when we say some of them are INSANE! Anyone for a kidney cosy?

What are your predictions for 3033? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

School of Boss

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 05:00:53 GMT

Luke's redecorating his house. Should he make wallpaper out of screenshots of his best tweets? The answer is obviously yes.

Elsewhere, Pete reveals he's never seen School of Rock and we hear about a Mafia boss that survived 30 years on the run. We'll let you decide which piece of news is more shocking...

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don’t blame the atomic wedgie

Thu, 26 Jan 2023 05:00:51 GMT

What do you eat at the cinema? Popcorn? Nachos? Maybe a hot dog? Well, if you’re Pete Donaldson you eat a fish sandwich… of course!

As well as discovering that on today’s show, we also call out the news outlet that tried to claim the atomic wedgie was the cause of a terrible crime. Luke then relives his youth as he teaches Pete all about infamous playground punishments.

What playground punishments existed at your school? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can we please have our money back?

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 05:00:04 GMT

In some classically poor Luke and Pete Show admin, Luke has a gift for Pete on today's show that he was due to give him 2 months ago.

In similarly poor levels of admin, Pete gets a takeaway delivered to him in the middle of today’s recording and an anonymous listener gets in touch to tell us that they worked for a delivery company that accidentally managed to lose half a million quid. Oh dear…

Do you have your own story for the consumer advice daddies? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fishmongers were better in the 90s

Thu, 19 Jan 2023 05:00:39 GMT

Do you remember when everyone knew each other’s blood type and bin men collected your rubbish every day? Life was better in the 90s!

Elsewhere on today’s show, Pete takes a break from remembering the good old days to get erotic in the battery section and we discuss the “King of Billingsgate” aka Britain’s most famous fishmonger. But seriously, bin men used to cook you breakfast every single morning…

What are you nostalgic about? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

King Herald of Hammertime

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 05:00:39 GMT

Pete’s New Year’s resolution no. 387: Get into running. Today, we hear all about how he is approaching the task with a predictable amount of chaotic energy.

Elsewhere, a listener is ready to join our revolution against Wayfair after having a nightmarish experience while buying a sofa and we receive an update on our friend Herald who brought a hammer to Christmas.

Want to join the revolution? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chewie and the floater

Thu, 12 Jan 2023 05:00:22 GMT

Pete’s New Year’s resolutions keep coming! His latest one requires him to spend a predictable amount of time on his own in a dark room…

Elsewhere, Luke gets a taste of his own medicine while trying to sell some furniture online and we sympathise with a listener that likes to chew sponges.

Have any weird cravings? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dads of the world unite

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 05:00:27 GMT

Pete's made his new years resolution - just a week late - and it turns out that KSI and Logan Paul are now quaking in their boots...

Elsewhere, Pete gives a potential untrustworthy film recommendation and Luke opens up a consumer advice service after he has a run-in with a major department store.

Have any consumer rights issues needing solved? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What’s a walrus doing in that bin?

Thu, 05 Jan 2023 05:00:02 GMT

A walrus ended Scarborough’s New year celebrations in a shockingly explicit way. Not a good omen for the year ahead.

To start 2023 off on a better note, the Battery Daddies kick off another year of reviewing cells by reading out our Christmas Day submissions! Pete also goes to war with all Scandinavian bands from the 90s.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The bum squad

Mon, 02 Jan 2023 05:00:15 GMT

Happy new year! Luke and Pete kick off 2023 with a tight eight minutes on rug doctors, obviously…

And just as we think this year can’t get any better, we hear about a man who got a WWI bomb stuck up his bum and we ask AI to predict what the new year has in store for the lads.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Fiat 3 Trillion

Thu, 29 Dec 2022 05:00:06 GMT

Pete's fed up of Luke's quaint highlights of the year, so today, the gloves are off as we complete our review of 2022.

Elsewhere, Pete declares that his Fiat 500 is the world’s first three trillion dollar car and the lads also discover it’s possible to feel emotion towards a piece of tech on the surface of Mars.

Thank you from Luke, Pete and the whole of the Stak team for all your support throughout 2022. We'll be back in 2023 where we will continue to make many more shows for you to enjoy.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Another year in the simulation

Mon, 26 Dec 2022 05:00:30 GMT

Will Smith slapping Chris Rock, the roof of the O2 ripping off and erm, Liz Truss… These are just a few of the mental things that have happened this year.

Today, Luke has prepared a game to take Pete through the highlights and lowlights of another unprecedented year in the simulation. Strap in!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A pair of festive rats - Christmas special pt.2

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 05:00:30 GMT

Today’s a great day for rats, as listener Louise delivers some good news on whether Pete should buy his mum one for Christmas.

Elsewhere, we read your festive traditions, which include some top-tier dad behaviour, and we applaud anyone who wants to spend Christmas swinging a hammer about having pissed their pants.

Have a great Christmas! Love from The Luke and The Pete.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Beware of the Yule Lads - Christmas special pt.1

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 05:00:41 GMT

Christmas is just around the corner. As the preparations ramp up make sure you DO NOT drink that two-litre bottle of Fanta that has been bought for Christmas day.

Elsewhere, we hear about a man that has found the baby Jesus in a pack of Revels and Luke educates Pete about some of the weirdest and most wonderful Christmas traditions from around the world.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Project spooky boy

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 05:00:56 GMT

Feeling the cold this winter but also worried about the cost of living? Buy yourself an aga... apparently.

Elsewhere, we plan our move into meme consultancy and pay homage to local radio in our own unique way.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The boat that flopped

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 05:00:18 GMT

We’ve all been there: 18 years old and looking for a place to cause mischief, what do you do? Buy a boat, apparently…

Luke tells us a brilliant tale about all that on today’s show! We then give our further thoughts on the new Cocaine Bear movie and reach the reasonable conclusion that all films should be more like Die Hard.

We still want you to send your Christmas stories! Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The ghost of rodents past

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 05:00:42 GMT

In the least surprising news ever, Pete is feeling unwell on today’s show. Whether it’s because he and Luke went out last night or because he had rotten rice and cream for dinner when he got home, we’ll never know.

Elsewhere, we hear about the “unusual” gift he’s getting his mum and a mainstay of the Stak universe tries to submit a new player to the battery daddies.

We still want you to send your Christmas stories! Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonus episode: The Interruption

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 13:32:13 GMT

What a treat! Luke is here, on a Wednesday, with a special bonus episode. Today, we’ve put Pete stories of DIY mishaps and erections while playing video games aside, as Luke is instead joined by Tommie Trelawny, the host of The Interruption, a new and totally fascinating podcast from Stak that we think you’ll love.

On 26th November 1977, the mysterious alien voice of “Vrillon” broke onto the five o’clock news. The intruder had a warning to the viewers of Southern Television: live in peace or leave the galaxy. For forty-five years, those responsible have not been identified. Tommie Trelawny has reopened the case. Who, or what, was behind The Interruption?

Listen and subscribe to The Interruption HERE!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Never make your own stair gate

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 05:00:19 GMT

Let’s admit it, other people’s kids are incredibly annoying. It's a controversial opinion that we eagerly support on today’s edition of the Luke and Pete Show.

We also question anyone who claims that they actually enjoy wild swimming and we hear from a listener who spotted a rogue Pete Donaldson out in the big bad world...

We still want you to send your Christmas stories! Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No Sleep 'til Hammersmith

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 05:00:11 GMT

Luke’s flown in overnight from the States to record some Luke and Pete Show. It might sound showbiz, but the flight was unfortunately ruined by an unpleasant surprise…

In better news, Luke’s brought Pete back a very thoughtful present from his holiday and we also ask the very important question, why doesn’t Pete own a 3D printer?

We want you to send in your Christmas stories! Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to become a cowboy

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 05:00:43 GMT

What comes first, the problem or the Donaldson? Pete has been complaining that his house constantly needs work at the moment. Do we believe that it isn’t his fault? He also just smashed his phone, but we’ll let you decide.

Elsewhere, we spend far too long reading a coroners report and we try to decide whether age should be a factor when becoming a cowboy.

Want to get in touch? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thankful for dogs

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 05:00:02 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving! To celebrate the occasion Pete offers up a rare moment of poignancy as we give thanks to our pets at the start of today's show.

Don't worry normal service is resumed when Luke tells us some foul stories from the days of VHS. He also tells us about a very "interesting" shop owner he met on holiday and a quick Google tells us this man actually has quite a reputation...

Have you met any "interesting" shop owners? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just put some tabasco on it

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 05:00:17 GMT

Pete bravely offers some cooking advice on today’s episode. Listen to him at your peril…

He's also been displaying some “interesting” behaviour during the promotional video for a local wine bar, Luke has – disappointingly – made it into the Daily Mail, and a listener sends us a lovely poem.

Want to send us a poem? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I miss my mum

Thu, 17 Nov 2022 05:00:03 GMT

Pete places us right in the middle of the True Geordie vs Andrew Tate beef on today’s episode. Would you expect anything else?

We also discuss the bizarre phenomenon that is Matt Hancock in the jungle and Pete shares a typically niche idea for a documentary - brace yourselves.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Democracy vs Banter

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 05:00:16 GMT

What is more important? The future of liberal democracy or the banter? That is the question you have to ask yourself when you see Young Boozer on the ballot sheet.

Elsewhere, we hear about Pete’s bizarre approach to public speaking and our mushy peas vs baked beans debate reaches a dramatic conclusion.

Are you team baked beans or mushy peas? Let us know: Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People still don’t like you, Elon

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 05:00:14 GMT

What do you do if you’re desperate for people to like you? Well, if you’re Elon Musk, you buy Twitter.

On today’s show, Luke and Pete discuss what we think the world will look like without Twitter and a listener risks their job to submit not one but two New Player batteries. That’s the commitment we’re looking for!

Think you have found a new player? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's Bono doing?

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 05:00:26 GMT

Do you ever just stop and think, what's Bono doing? We ponder that strange question on today's show.

We also discuss whether you could invent a glory hole for haircuts and we learn the amazingly appropriate nickname Pete has been given by his niece. It's just another Monday on The Luke and Pete Show.

What are the fish and chip shop prices in your local area? We want to know: Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you order some gateway crimes?

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 05:00:42 GMT

Guy Fawkes night is around the corner so Luke and Pete are getting in the spirit by planning petty crimes. It's all fun and games until Luke potentially gets embroiled in an actual crime.

Elsewhere, Pete starts beef with a Michelin star chef and we finally get an explanation for why Donny is so, erm... unique.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Spook Fest 2022

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 05:00:20 GMT

What’s the best way to celebrate Halloween? Eat loads of American Candy, of course. Because that is definitely going to help Pete’s stomach problems…

Speaking of Halloween, we marvel at a mass grave containing over 600 monks. Elsewhere a listener, unexpectedly, informs us that we played a part in the birth of their first child.

Have we played a part in one of your major life events? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mr Karaoke Hostess Bar

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 04:00:36 GMT

We’ve got a new Prime Minister, for the next couple of months at least. I'm sure he'll be respected and won’t be labelled a **** on the BBC, right? Maybe not.

As well as hearing more on that, we discuss whether the day has finally come for Pete to replace the Fiat and a listener sends in a very unusual eBay listing.

Spotted anything unusual on the internet? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The battery daddies

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 04:00:59 GMT

Blink 182 are back, baby! But do the pop-punk icons know more about pop-punk than Petey-pie Donaldson? He once listened to a Propagandhi album after all…

Elsewhere, we find out Captain Kirk regretted going where no man has gone before and - going where no podcast has gone before - we start a physical collection of new player batteries, thanks to an amazing gift from one of our lovely listeners.

Do you have a new player to add to our battery daddy? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you sneeze on demand?

Thu, 20 Oct 2022 04:00:05 GMT

Luke loses the plot on today’s show as amazingly Pete manages to make himself sneeze on demand.

Elsewhere, we once again stick two feet into the knock-off Nintendo Wii homepage that is the Metaverse and receive a really enjoyable email about a man who unknowingly wore a quite incredible t-shirt. And no, for once that man wasn’t Donny.

Do you have any hidden talents? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Damn butterfly effect

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 04:00:24 GMT

Today’s the day! Luke and Pete are back with a big announcement… *drumroll please*... legs are coming to the Metaverse!

Join us in celebrating that major news on today's show. We also discuss the concept of infinity and how it means that Pete will one day turn into a dog turd and hear about how we unknowingly caused an incident that sent a listener to hospital.

Have we ever caused an incident in your life? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Justice for Cocaine Bear

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 04:00:51 GMT

Pete’s back from driving a bigger boy’s car down the west coast of America! He only almost rolled it once, so it went pretty well overall.

Elsewhere, Pete reviews American towns he visited in three words and we scream “JUSTICE FOR COCAINE BEAR” as news has reached the Luke and Pete Show that the peace-loving icon has been done dirty in a movie adaptation of his life.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Return of the Cliff Richard

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Luke starts the show by expressing his displeasure for comedy as a genre. He better not read the description of this podcast…

Once we have gotten passed that, the lads tell us about 2 different, but equally impressive, trips to the theatre that they have been on and Luke gets wound up by the idea of a Cliff Richard Christmas album.

Can you think of something that will wind Luke up? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wait, does FIFA make batteries?

Thu, 06 Oct 2022 04:00:06 GMT

What other podcast could go from dissecting the Prime Minister’s shambolic media relations to uncovering some of the world’s rarest battery brands in the time it takes to say, ad-break?

We’ve got all that on the show plus a belated tribute to Coolio and the under-appreciated legacy of Gangsta's Paradise.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cat Race

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 04:00:14 GMT

Is there anyone that doesn’t find classic ventriloquism terrifying? That is the question we are faced with on today’s show.

Elsewhere, we hear about Luke’s cat's particular drinking habits, a listener that spotted a rogue Pete Donaldson in the wild and we help a member of our community that is about the start a new job.

Can we offer you some advice on anything? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Splitting the bulbospongiosus muscle

Thu, 29 Sep 2022 04:00:19 GMT

Warning! This episode contains more penis chat. We are sorry but ALOT of you did ask for it.

If that’s too much then don’t worry, we bring the tone back by once again discussing the long egg. We also hear about Pete’s dog visiting the office and have a very special edition of the battery section.

Want to share a story with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Neil down in respect

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 04:00:59 GMT

Previously on The Luke and Pete Show... Pete revealed he was planning a great road trip from New York to Philadelphia. How did he get on? Listen to today's episode to find out.

We also go on a mission to uncover whether deeply problematic TikTok stars have been emailing us and hear about some strange drama from the world of chess.

Are you a deeply problematic TikTok star? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s always Petey in Philadelphia

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 04:00:24 GMT

The lads are still stateside and Luke is helping Pete plan a road trip…. Oh dear, good luck to all American drivers.

In the second half, we then bring you an extremely exciting LIVE battery brand search and read an email offering up an interesting solution to Pete’s dog barking problem.

Can you help us with any of our problems? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Concrete jungle where golden rabbits are made of

Mon, 19 Sep 2022 04:00:10 GMT

We are bringing you this episode directly from Pete’s hotel room in New York. This obviously means the lads are recording surrounded by empty bottles of Pepto Bismol and packets of instant noodles.

Elsewhere Pete has been trying the local delicacies (aka Japanese whisky) and we hear about a very successful duelling dog.

Do you have any stories about New York? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Climbing out of your toilet in a diving helmet

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 04:00:35 GMT

This time around on The Luke and Pete Show, Donny considers attacking one of his neighbours in a frightening, yet also confusing, way and both men consider a spin off series involving hunting down some UFOs. Luke would love it, Pete would be angry about doing it.

There's also a man marrying a hologram (not Pete), some incredibly problematic action figures, and the latest scandal to hit Luke's neighbourhood Whatsapp group.

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Desalination of Edwina Currie

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 04:00:42 GMT

Desalination - why don't we do more of it? Maybe we do, and Luke and Pete are just unaware of it. Maybe let us know, if you're a water expert. On today's episode the chaps take the time to talk about Pete's trip to Cardiff which resulted in some remarkable medical advice concerning Pepto-Bismol, before despairing at the latest government nonsense and giving the entirely unnecessary Edwina Currie a dressing down.

Give us a spin, the subscribe button's just over there!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Waistcoat

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 04:00:40 GMT

Hi everyone, and welcome to a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Pete has turned up wearing a leather waistcoat with nothing underneath, is still rocking his moustache and is now also in trouble with an unknown neighbour. But which one? The investigation starts apace...

Elsewhere, there's plenty of time to have a pop at Sir Cliff Richard, talk about the best flavours of cordial, and send out a plea for a bigger battery boy to get in touch with us about a submission sent in by one of our listeners. Ta ta for now!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The humble blacksmith

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 04:00:15 GMT

We’ve sent Pete into the world of Game of Thrones and it turns out his origin story is pretty epic. We present to you: Donny, the finest blacksmith in Westeros.

Pete’s staying humble though, as his new title doesn’t stop him from reading out your emails. We hear about a lady who mistakenly ate the products in Lush and a listener who accidentally became TikTok famous.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you seen my moles?

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 04:00:16 GMT

It’s bank holiday erm... Thursday??? And Pete is having a naughty ol’ time breaking all office (and societal) rules he can. How else should you spend your day off?

Elsewhere, the lads tell us all about their memories (and traumas) of dating when they were young and PC Gordon is back to test Pete’s knowledge of the law!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Superjaunty black hole

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 04:00:10 GMT

Pete’s been on the internet again and he has found a quite bizarre video that emerged from the world of baseball…

Elsewhere, we listen to the sound of a black hole, a listener criticises the band Muse and Pete tells us all about his default freezer leftovers meal. It is just as depressing as it sounds.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

See you next Tuesday

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 04:00:06 GMT

Pete took his partner to Spain for her birthday and she was absolutely delighted when he took her to a British pub to watch the Newcastle match - how romantic - at least he didn’t take her to the car boot!

After that, we try to work out if Pete has committed a crime upon returning from his holiday and we also discuss the cancellation of Andrew Tate... good riddance.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bitter Sweet Batteries

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 04:00:20 GMT

The people have spoken! Today we're finally discussing the result of our poll, where we asked you lot who's more likely to die first: Luke or Pete. Shockingly, it isn’t all bad for Donaldson!

Following that, Luke loses his head at Thames Water, which leads to him making quite a blasphemous claim about batteries and we read an email which uncovers quite an unusual subculture: Richard Ashcroft super fans...

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete from Glasto

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 04:00:24 GMT

Pete went to a “fake festival” and surprisingly it actually sounds quite good. Although Pete’s outfit raises a number of alarming questions…

Speaking of festivals, the Luke and Pete Impromptu Documentary Review Club sparks into life on today’s show as the lads take a deep dive into the recent Woodstock ‘99 series! It’s not to be missed.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Holloway Road Taco Bells I admire

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 04:00:54 GMT

Pete needs to buy a birthday present for the partner he has access to. To the car boot sale he goes...

Elsewhere we discuss nighttime toilet etiquette, London's newest Taco Bells and discover that we might be able to influence politics in the fine country of Denmark. We're taking over, baby!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How many new players?

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 04:00:17 GMT

Pete’s doing the show from his parent’s house, yet it’s actually Luke that spends the first half of the show uncovering all his childhood trauma.

Things don’t get better for Luke when he finds out that Pete made plans without him last weekend. Thankfully there are some unbelievable scenes in the battery section to cheer him up.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete Logie Baird

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 04:00:38 GMT

Pete's been fiddling with the tech in his apology cabin and - believe it or not - it's actually gone well! Just don't ask about his first attempt trying to use cement...

Elsewhere, Luke reads quite a strange email about grave robbery and Pete has a story about someone losing their legs.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How pickled are your onions?

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 04:00:47 GMT

Luke’s weekend was RUINED by under-pickled pink pickled onions. Naturally, he didn’t make a big deal out of it on today’s show or anything…

Once that's dealt with, we read an email about a farmer who had quite an astonishing reaction to a hot air balloon landing in his field. Strap in.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

YouTube shredded beef

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 04:00:30 GMT

Pete went rogue and almost started beef with a film director on YouTube. Surprisingly the man was into it and a potential friendship is now on the cards. Oh, what a strange life Donny leads...

Elsewhere, Macaque’s have injured 42 people in Japan and we discuss topless lad etiquette.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fingers Against the Machine

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 04:00:12 GMT

It's been a brilliant week for The Luke and Pete Show: Stak won two awards at the British Podcast Awards, the wife Luke has access to graduated from the University of Cambridge and a chess-playing robot broke a 7-year-old's finger.

But rather than spending too long worried about that, Luke and Pete spent quite a lot of time working out an idea for the next hard-hitting police TV drama. It's all good stuff.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An “Oops!... I Did It Again” moment… (emails special)

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 04:00:36 GMT

We promised you an emails special but we spent the first part of today’s show talking about batteries. What else did you expect?

We do eventually get round to your emails and share some of your brilliant stories, including a wedding ring lost in a very unpleasant location and a surprising letter home from school which led to some top drawer dad behaviour.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ronald Reagan’s sexy sweat pants

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 04:00:05 GMT

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been a bit hot! That didn’t stop a naked Donaldson sharing a bed with another naked male though…

Elsewhere we hear about the “interesting” ways British people have been coping with the heat including swimming in a wheelie bin and wearing a… puffer jacket???

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I think Bryan Ferry might have lived here for a bit

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 04:00:31 GMT

Luke goes stomping around London like a massive red music nerd, and Pete's found a prison phone in his apology cabin.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for all your messages and batteries and that! See you Thursday!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I was actually talking about mountain biking the other day

Thu, 14 Jul 2022 04:00:42 GMT

Pete returns from Cornwall, covered in paint and reeking of adhesive. What could have occurred? Have a listen and find out...

Scores are settled regarding an erroneous battery Hall of Fame entry and there are some hot vikings in our area.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for all your yap!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Captain Podcastin'

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 04:00:47 GMT

After an extensive stroll, Luke decides to wear a sailor's hat to the show record, while Pete's opted for a cracking diving helmet. Just the thing to defend himself against some well deserved barbs from you lovely lot.

Up yours, woke moralists!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duracell vs Eveready

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 04:00:56 GMT

Have you ever thought about doing a flying elbow onto a printer? We haven’t, but naturally there is someone on the internet who has…

Elsewhere, Luke finally tells us about his trip to Belgium and we also try to unpick the complex historical feud between battery titans Duracell & Eveready. It’s all part of the job.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My dog ate my magic

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 04:00:28 GMT

Someone made the mistake of giving Pete the responsibility of working on a rum bar. It went just as well as you can imagine…

We also hear whether Pete has learned a magic trick for Luke, before discussing Luke’s passion for animal documentaries and debating whether we can create an AI version of David Attenborough.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apple cider win-egar

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 04:00:05 GMT

We're throwing down the necromantic gauntlet as Pete threatens to buy tax-deductible magic tricks off the internet, all the while stinking of apple cider vinegar.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Peteriarchy!

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 04:00:52 GMT

Lukey's bathroom is finally finished so he can look at his mangled forty-two year old body in a heated mirror. That's progress!

Oh yeah, and Pete is threating to run for office. Scared? You should be...

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just a dad, down the pub, doing a Wordle

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 04:00:06 GMT

Can you believe that pubs used to close, for a few hours, in the middle of the afternoon? How would the kids (and dads) of today cope…

Speaking of dads, the lads give us a long-overdue dad update on today’s show (Papa Moore’s bench-making pursuits are thriving) and we also get another update from our resident steel erector. It’s good stuff!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Another million lost

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 11:00:50 GMT

What do the people who go on Love Island and Question Time have in common? That is the question Pete is answering on today’s show and the fact he doesn’t respect them is only one part of it…

Elsewhere, Luke FINALLY reads the email about motorcycle greetings and a listener tells us about an interesting meeting he had with Paul Daniels in a toilet.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Hold on to your hands

Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:00:40 GMT

Pete started watching Stanger Things from series 4. A classic renegade move from Donaldson.

Today, we hear what it is like to play life-sized Monopoly and discuss THAT duet between Michael Ball and Captain Tom. Two things that have further damaged Luke’s faith in modern society. To top things off, Pete tells us what could be his most unbelievable story to date!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Metallica nativity

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 04:00:09 GMT

Why is everyone in Essex good at football? That was the difficult lesson Pete learned when trying to save penalties while dressed as the Queen…

Elsewhere, Luke finally shares the story of the baby born at a Metallica concert and we hear more tales about pathological small-town liars in the email section.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Saturday scallop fever

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 04:00:36 GMT

Are you ready for the ultimate Luke and Pete Show pivot?

On today’s show, we go from dissecting the deepest darkest issues of UK politics to hearing what Pete has in common with scallops faster than you can say "Boris Johnson". Elsewhere our mission to find new players in our battery database gets interrupted as we learn all about electric whistles.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Welcome to Luton

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 04:00:35 GMT

Planes are the order of the day on today’s show! We’re discussing two aviation-themed Youtube pranks that ended up with… well, pretty different results.

Elsewhere, we hear how someone with no flying experience successfully landed a plane and a listener explains how two men received two superb nicknames: Maverick and Goose.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Legalise the Planet of the Apes

Thu, 02 Jun 2022 04:00:09 GMT

We’ve got a bonus bank holiday, baby! In amongst the revelry of a four-day weekend though, we spare a thought for The Pope. Like... how do you think he is currently spending his time?

Once that's been digested, we hear about Luke’s curious TikTok habits and Pete tells us how he intends to celebrate the Queen’s Jubilee.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Introducing... The Joe Marler Show - About Funeral Directors

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 07:00:08 GMT

We’re back to recommend another podcast we think you’ll love!

Joe Marler may be an England rugby player, but his podcast is not just another rugby podcast. The Joe Marler Show is all about learning what other people do for a living. As you can imagine, this will be great for Pete as a chef can finally tell him how to fix his culinary crimes. Maybe a tattoo artist can even tell him how to finally cover up some of that embarrassing body ink...

But on today’s show, we’re learning all about funeral directors for a conversation about death, doves and Tina Turner!

If you enjoy this episode, make sure to search for “The Joe Marler Show” on your podcast app and hit subscribe!

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The 9 things that make you a juggalo

Mon, 30 May 2022 04:00:16 GMT

What would Pete be like if he was a juggalo? That's the unexpected proposition Luke is considering on today’s show!

We then discuss acceptable theatre etiquette and offer up another Luke and Pete Show review of the latest documentary series we've managed to watch. Plus, Luke’s cat makes another guest appearance!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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#Lads behaviour

Thu, 26 May 2022 04:00:15 GMT

Luke’s got an idea for a new TV show. And if we're being brutally honest... it’s not actually that bad.

We then hear about some #lads behaviour as Luke’s former football team has recently been on tour and we continue on our quest to find new players for our big battery database.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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The new succulent Chinese meal

Mon, 23 May 2022 04:00:21 GMT

Pete has officially lost the plot. We are deeply, deeply sorry for the first 5 minutes of today’s show…

Elsewhere, Luke tells us about his trip to the Norfolk Broads and Pete shares a clip that could be as good as the infamous "eating a succulent Chinese meal" video!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Introducing... Eureka! - Should we fear an alien invasion?

Sat, 21 May 2022 12:00:23 GMT

Have you ever been annoyed that Pete won’t let us talk about alien invasions? Today, we're going to put that right!

We think you'll love 'Eureka!', Stak's brand new science podcast! Every Wednesday, science enthusiast Rick Edwards and actual real-life scientist Dr Michael Brooks get to the bottom of some of the universe’s most puzzling questions with the help of world-leading experts.

In this episode, Professor Avi Loeb helps Rick and Michael answer the timeless question: should we fear an alien invasion?

If you enjoy this episode, make sure to search “Eureka!” on your podcast app and hit subscribe!

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Would you eat a steak off Pete’s belly?

Thu, 19 May 2022 04:00:28 GMT

Just one of the many disturbing propositions Luke is faced with on today’s show.

Furthermore, it’s a historic day in our quest to uncover new battery brands and we hear what Pete has been eating while 'the partner he has access to' has been away. It’s just as bad as you think!

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Banyan trees, forged art and the metaverse

Mon, 16 May 2022 04:00:26 GMT

A photo has emerged where Luke and Pete look like Tony and A.J Soprano. The problem? We can’t decide which one is which.

Elsewhere, we take an unexpected deep dive into the problems of modern society and reach a worrying proposition: will life actually be better in the Metaverse?

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Wait, what is the Loch Ness Monster?

Thu, 12 May 2022 04:00:01 GMT

Pete enters into a state of general meltdown on today’s show. Surprisingly, it’s only partly due to his upcoming endoscopy.

We also read a fascinating email concerning Dave TV and receive an unusual explanation for the Loch Ness Monster. Let’s hope Luke doesn’t see anything like that on his jolly in the Norfolk Broads.

Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Tell me lies, tell me sweet small town lies

Mon, 09 May 2022 04:00:14 GMT

Pete’s turned into a film critic on today’s show, making an interesting case as to why Jackass should have won Best Picture at the Oscars.

We then discuss pathological small town liars and Pete gives us another update on all his latest health concerns. If any doctors can help him please, PLEASE, get in touch!

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Trailer: The Luke and Pete Show | New episodes every Monday & Thursday

Mon, 09 May 2022 03:55:22 GMT

Join Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson for a hilarious unplanned half hour every Monday and Thursday! Here's a little taste.

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A "cheeky" trip to Norwich

Thu, 05 May 2022 04:00:02 GMT

The boys are back and feeling silly after Pete tried to do a handbrake turn in the car park pre-show. Not sure why.

We then learn the shocking news that Pete held down a proper job for six years and receive an email from a man who went to Norwich on our recommendation. As far as we’re concerned, if he’s going to follow one of our recommendations, he only has himself to blame.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More food mama, give us more food mama

Mon, 02 May 2022 04:00:53 GMT

It’s bank holiday Monday, baby. Sweet beans! In related news, Luke and Pete both have shocking admissions in relation to their beans consumption...

We then debate the best UK supermarkets and discover that we are the SOLE reason a marathon runner has made it to the World Championships.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Keep my Swedish indie club out of your god damn mouth

Thu, 28 Apr 2022 04:00:54 GMT

Pete has been getting recommended indie clubs again - shock! However, this recommendation didn’t come from an expected source.

The lads also discuss a new harrowing, yet thought-provoking Netflix documentary and Luke’s cat makes a surprise guest appearance!

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hidden biker communities

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 04:00:16 GMT

Today's the day! Pete finally talks about his trip to Wrestlemania, where he became obsessed with a wrestler called Mr Iguana, obviously.

We then discuss the mad, but also slightly fascinating, possibility of Elon Musk buying Twitter and an email confirms Luke’s suspicions about hidden biker communities.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The long-necked beast

Thu, 21 Apr 2022 04:00:34 GMT

It’s the day of reckoning on the Luke and Pete Show as we finally get an update on whether Pete has bought a pub or not.

From one seismic event to another, we then discuss potential new evidence that the Loch Ness Monster exists and Doctor Lukey hears all about Pete’s latest ailments. No, we aren't ruling out an adder bite just yet.

Do you have any info on the long-necked beast? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Three kings bring fruits of the forest

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Easter’s over, which means we simply must check up on Pete and find out how his stomach coped with the festivities.

Luke then revels in some more animal stories, as we hear separate tales about an alligator and a lion cropping up in some pretty unusual locations.

Do you have a good animal story? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you know where Alaska is?

Thu, 14 Apr 2022 04:00:07 GMT

The two “fashion gurus” we have access to are back! And they're tackling a major problem: how do you dress fashionably as a 40-year-old man?

Elsewhere, Pete gets confused by the concept of Alaska and Luke reads a dramatic email that at first glance is about a sofa but hides a whole lot more...

Do you have a dramatic tale to share? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The sweet (beans) spot of weddings

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 04:00:11 GMT

Pete spent the weekend with his mother-in-law. Sounds wholesome, right? It actually involved stinging nettles, antihistamine gel, a football in a river, a unicycle and loads of nitrous oxide canisters.

Should Pete’s mother-in-law have expected anything else from a weekend away with Donny? We unpick all of that on today’s show.

Do you have a good wedding story? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Wallet, keys… revolver

Thu, 07 Apr 2022 04:00:56 GMT

How many slaps do you think it takes to cook a chicken? The answer lies inside today’s show. We also learn the AMAZING reason why a man lived in an airport... for 14 years!

Oh and we hear why Pete should NEVER be allowed a gun...

Do you deserve our FA Cup commemorative stamps? Let us know why at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dogs on a plane

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 04:00:19 GMT

On Thursday, we heard all about Pete’s trip to St. Lucia. It’s now Luke’s turn to update us on his holiday antics. He may not have had an encounter with a pear but he did meet a real-life turtle. However, that moment was not as magical as it sounds either.

We then find time to read a few emails in relation to things “getting lopped off.” You can thank Pete for that one.

Do you have any stories relating to anything discussed on today’s show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Busy young thrusting executives (B.Y.T.E)

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 04:00:46 GMT

The two busy young thrusting executives you have access to have returned from their holidays. On today's show, we address the rumour that Pete went on holiday to a swingers retreat. But before that, we had to hear about a car bootist’s dream purchase.

There is also a VERY special treat contained in our email section. Trust us, you don't want to miss it...

Do you have a question you would like to send us? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

WeTransfer conspiracy theorist

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 04:00:30 GMT

New week, same Pete Donaldson, who is back reading stuff out from Reddit. Today’s topics include - Elton John, Voldermort laughing in different languages and Wrestlemania, which Pete is lucky enough to be visiting.

In the second half, Luke has a big conspiracy theory relating to Wetransfer and the emails help us uncover that the outlaw mod hairdresser may have returned.

To get in touch with the show email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ducks vs peas

Thu, 24 Mar 2022 05:00:14 GMT

We’ve neglected our duty on the Luke and Pete Show. It’s been a month since the Winter Olympics and we still haven’t spoken about the man with the frozen penis. We can only apologise.

That aside, Luke tells us about the infamous soda drinking black bear, Hank the Tank, and we watch some ducks “annihilate” a bowl of peas.

Do you have your own animal-related story? Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Has Elon Musk got enough money?

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 05:00:43 GMT

Pete went to the arcade at the weekend and it turns out he is very good at the coconut shy. He's now rich with arcade tickets – just a shame that he can’t use them to buy his pub.

Elsewhere, Luke revels in the joys of a Danish goose parade and we try to settle two mysteries: do billionaires have enough money and what really happens in Berghain?

Do you know what really happens in Berghain? Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

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Pete Donaldson, “The Pub Landlord”

Thu, 17 Mar 2022 05:00:53 GMT

Breaking news, Luke has officially been added to the neighbourhood Whatsapp group. A major development in local news that can only be topped by the fact that Pete might be buying a pub.

In the emails, we have some slightly strange chat about Super Mario’s nipples and there are some developments in our mission to find the most famous Eileen.

Do you have any advice for Pete about buying a pub? Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

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Only Foods and Sauces

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 05:00:30 GMT

Happy Birthday Albert Einstein! We celebrate this special occasion by hearing about how Wayne Rooney was knocked out by fellow footballer Phil Bardsley during an after hours boxing match…

Plus, we read a couple of emails relating to Only Fools and Horses-themed outlets and Luke reveals that Pete’s got a deep dark secret concerning Peaky Blinders.

Do you want to share your deep dark secrets? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever had anything lopped off?

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 05:00:21 GMT

Small people are being verbally attacked by pro gamers and Pete is reeling. REELING. This begs the question: what would Pete be like if he was 6'3?

We also consider the amazing world of Pokémon and get an update on the alternative versions of TV shows in China. Oh, and Pete has an interesting new email topic…

Have you ever had anything lopped off before? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

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My almost fingerless Friday

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 05:00:05 GMT

Pete’s well-publicised tax issues have led to Luke coming up with a genius money-making scheme for the pair of them. Warning, it involves NFTs and some sensitive Donaldson content…

We also hear about some of our good deeds that have gone wrong and finally finish our hand-hurting emails.

What to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Billy wristbreaker

Thu, 03 Mar 2022 05:00:56 GMT

Is Luke a Giant Wotsit, a Wheat Crunchie, a Frazzle, or all of the above? The answer lies in today's show...

Plus, more hand-hurting emails! We discuss sitting an exam with broken fingers and a drunken accident when someone tried to sneak in without waking up their parents.

Any advice for sneaking in after a few drinks? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

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The Skewer in the Hand: A New Forest based King Arthur

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 05:00:01 GMT

Pete’s living in his own world and he’s making the rules, which makes for one scary society if we’re honest. We hear all about the rules in his kingdom and they are as expected.... interesting.

In the second half, we finally get round to our hand hurting special and warning, it's not for the faint heart. We hear about a medical marvel of a pinky and an unfortunate story relating to conkers and a meat skewer.

Are you a medical marvel? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shacket from the Crypt

Thu, 24 Feb 2022 05:00:45 GMT

Luke is looking resplendent in a shacket on today’s show. That being said, he wasn’t looking so good when he waded through the mud to watch Rocket from the Crypt at Glastonbury ‘98.

In other news, Luke’s still not over Pete ruining Game of Thrones for him and we managed to find some time to try and enter some new players into our big battery database.

Think you can contribute a new player to the game? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A panther attack in… Worcestershire

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 05:00:58 GMT

Luke and Pete are attempting to take on fashion today, although it ends up being more of a fashion disaster (we’ll let you decide if that’s a surprise). We hear all about the lads' suit dilemmas and some of their worst haircuts.

We then have a listener claim he witnessed a panther attack in England. Don’t worry, we were sceptical too.

Send us your most far fetched (but real) stories, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

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Like a PUBG pro, touched for the very first time

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 11:13:27 GMT

Luke and Pete have been busy in cyberspace since the last show as they finally managed to find time to play PUBG together. If only Pete still didn’t have his driver's licence, he might have spent less time blowing Luke’s cover by driving vehicles.

Pete's then "delighted" as we get stuck into the world of Only Fools and Horses merchandise and as promised he tells us about all the birds that fell out of the sky.

Today’s email was about a disastrous shortcut. You can send us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

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A knitted assailant

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Pete’s health problems are raging on worse than ever thanks to an attack from an old jumper. However, Luke helpfully has a suggestion which might improve Pete’s health going forward… Potato milk!

In the emails we finally get to the bottom of Episode 140 “Horses can’t vomit” (aka the missing episode) and the truth of the matter is far more harrowing than we expected.

Remember to tune in next time to hear about all the birds that fell out of the Sky…

Get in touch, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The first rule of Chinese Fight Club

Thu, 10 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome to Thursday’s Luke and Pete Show. Today's big news is that Fight Club has a new ending in China! More predictably, Pete's still not watched Yellow Jackets and he also once “clouted” a Hollywood actress with his dodgem car.

In the emails, we also have an Egyptian contender for the most scenic commute.

Do you have a scenic commute? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Donald Trump deepfakes

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

It’s going to be a hot boy summer for Pete Donaldson because indie sleaze is back! Donald Trump is also back with his weird word pronunciations – and Pete may or may not have discovered his maddest one yet.

After the break, we dig into the ongoing drama surrounding the missing episode and hear about another famous Eileen.

Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The reincarnation of Diggory Donaldson

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

It’s a transformational show for Pete today. He opens it with a major announcement about a seismic change he has made to his life. What's more, we then hear there's been an enormous change to the aesthetic of his alter ego, Diggory.

Finally, we have a delightful email relating to night-out shortcuts and getting attacked by big cats.

We want to hear your stories relating to best/worst night-out shortcuts, getting attacked by animals and the most severe way you’ve hurt your hand. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Why am I drinking Tyskie in a nice restaurant?

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Here at The Luke and Pete Show people look to us as the leading spokespeople in podcasting on social etiquette. Today we confront our biggest challenge yet and face up to the issue of night-out etiquette.

Once we’ve solved that, Luke gives us a rundown on The Apprentice and we discuss whether men can breastfeed.

We love to read out your stories on the show. Get in touch, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Man! I Feel Like an Unknown Euphemism!

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome back! We start today’s show in the most obvious place: Shania Twain’s Wikipedia. We then take a deep dive into a series of film and TV reviews before hearing about Pete’s Eye of Sauron. We’ll let you decide if that's a euphemism.

Finally, we have time for battery brands and hear about some of Luke’s lookalikes.

Know anyone who looks like Luke? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do these kids look like ostriches?

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Monday, on today’s show Pete is very upset after hearing Logan Paul has been having issues with his rare Pokémon cards. Before we know it we're discussing deep state conspiracies and QAnon, obviously.

Luke then brings us back down to earth by telling us about ostriches that escaped from a zoo and in the emails we discuss acceptable bus etiquette.

Do you need us to solve any other social dilemmas? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there

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You’re twisting my UFO man

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Here we go, it's the day you have all been waiting for: today we finally announce the results of our big battery poll and reveal whether “Aerolatte” AAs will be received as a new player into our battery database. *drumroll please*

But before that, conversation turns to the hazy world of UFOs and the Happy Mondays. Two naturally related topics, of course.

Your stories are key to The Luke and Pete Show. Send them in, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Non-fartible token (NFTs special)

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

This week, we start our NFTs special in the most logical place: Pete’s dad’s local pub. Once that is covered, we get back on track (slightly) by hearing about a woman who is NFTing her own farts.

We also hear from some people that actually know about NFTs and there's an email about Ninjas.

Got a story you think we might like to hear? Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Bugs not hugs

Thu, 13 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Pete has been doing some “work” research by checking out Spotify's back catalogue of erotic podcasts. He reportedly hasn’t managed to find a Hero Quest episode yet, but we’ll keep you updated.

We then discuss the prospect of replacing meat with bugs and there is some major controversy in our mission to enter some new players into the game.

Do you have any thoughts on our battery protocol? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there

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Forest Defenestration

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

It’s a new week and Luke has arrived with a story about how he chucked his Christmas tree out of the window. However, that has nothing on Pete’s chat about his New Year with a surgeon he has access to. Cue a full studio meltdown.

Once the lads have calmed down, they find time to read an email about car theft and wheel locks. It’s good advice, really.

If you want to share some good advice with The Luke and Pete Show community, email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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The breastfeeding cat

Thu, 06 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday on the Luke and Pete Show and we’re here to bring you a story about a woman breastfeeding a cat. What else did you expect?

We then hear why Pete would be happy to take a couple of years in prison and finally get to the bottom of the origin of Raver Fuel Beans that we were sent on Twitter.

Do you have any access to sweet beans? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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A romp of biting otters

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome to the future. It’s 2022, and Pete is teaching Luke about those ultramodern NFTs. The outcome? They’re all shit.

One thing that isn’t shit, however, is a story about a man who got bitten by otters. Thankfully Luke has one of them. We also re-visit Yakults and catalytic converter theft in the emails.

Let us know how your year is going so far. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Reproducing salmon

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Arm-shelving still exists in 2021 and Pete won’t stand for it! We are hurtling towards a new, hopefully arm-shelf free, year and the lads are back for one final show.

Today we hear about how Luke saw the new Ghostbusters, Pete tells us about salmon semen and we add some new players to the game. It’s just another episode of The Luke and Pete Show.

Thank you very much for your support throughout 2021. Whether you have sent us an email, left us a review or just listened to an episode you are a major part of The Luke and Pete Show and we value you dearly.

We’ll be back in 2022 for more fun and batteries, in the meantime feel free to get in touch with the show. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Christmas Special Part 2: Pete's naughty little secret

Mon, 27 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

We’re back! What day of the week is it? We don’t know, but what we do know is that we are here for part 2 of our Christmas special. We’re discussing the top 10 Christmas songs and reading more of your best and worst Christmas stories.

Pete then ends the show by delivering us all a belated Christmas present when he reveals a very personal secret…

Are you prepared to tell us your personal secrets? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Christmas Special Part 1: A lovely old Christmas fight

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

It was the show before Christmas, and Luke and Pete are here with the first part of the LAPS Christmas special. On the show, the lads discuss what their ideal Christmas presents would be. For Pete, it is NOT socks.

We then get into the festive spirit by reading out your best and worst Christmas stories, including tales about a Christmas fight and getting drunk with dad.

Everyone at the Luke and Pete Show hopes you have a wonderful Christmas. Feel free to get in touch and tell us what you are up to.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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An acquired taste of a human being

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

This is the Luke and Pete Show, your one-stop shop for all of the latest Sex and the City news, apparently. Once Pete has updated us on the latest goss *spoiler alert*, we then get into the show's beef with Peloton and learn why Pete doesn’t want to exercise in the new year.

We also receive a delightful email concerning ninja gyms and read some parkour reviews. That’s the stuff.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Why is there a bull in a striped shirt?

Thu, 16 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Today, Luke and Pete finally manage to stay on topic for long enough to talk about Luke’s trip to Devon, where he played the fruit machine in the arcade. A baffling experience for the wife he has access to.

We then hear about some quality school boy behaviour (which we do not endorse) relating to deodorant flamethrowers and lockerbombs. It's good stuff.

Have a story relating to any other behaviour that we don’t endorse?

Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Monster trucks are back, baby!

Mon, 13 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

What do Pete and Marcus Rashford have in common? They work hard for the kids. Unfortunately, those kids have been deprived of monster trucks for far too long – but that time is over. Monster trucks are back, baby!

After this cause for celebration, we get a Stewey Donaldson update and receive an email regarding a very anonymous police tape.

Do you have access to a police tape? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Outlaw mod hairdresser

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome to today's modcast! The thought of Pete Donaldson driving over two hours to Norwich to go to an Indie night was too much for Luke on today’s show. Thankfully, Donaldson is still in his prime...

We finish the show by revisiting a highly controversial topic - the full English breakfast - as we have an email about a hero of the fry-up community who is shouldering the burden for the rest of us.

Send us your stories about your best and worst Christmases! hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Terrible steak, excellent sprouts

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 14:05:25 GMT

Tis’ the season for Brussels sprouts! Luke and Pete have started attending those dreaded Christmas parties which, if we’re honest, are situations where neither of them excel. One thing Pete does excel at is forgetting Luke's TV recommendations - he managed to watch his most recent recommendation by accident.

Once we bypass this awkward situation, we hear from a man who has a photographic archive of hand dryers. How's that for an early Christmas present?

Ahead of the big day, we are wanting you to tell us some stories from your best and worst Christmases. Send them to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.

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Anti-vaxxers, horse meat and Christmas adverts

Thu, 02 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Please, take a moment to be present, it’s Thursday and the Christmas party season has officially started. Luke and Pete are discussing anti-vaxxers, horse meat and Christmas adverts, three things that appear to have nothing in common but are all strangely related.

We then read an email and celebrate the mighty deodorant flamethrower.

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Cans

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Monday, so grab a can and come listen to the Luke and Pete Show! We’ll be having all the usual tipsy chat, from “Dr” Gillian McKeith checking out people’s poo to a man cooking his own testicles.

If that isn’t enough to tickle your fancy, we also have an email on the subject of dodgy hand dryers. To get in touch with the show email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Money Talks, in association with Klarna

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s bonus episode, Luke and Pete are playing Klarna’s brand new game, Money Talks, which is designed to get people talking more openly about money. The lads are sharing what they’d buy if money was no object, how their upbringings have influenced their spending habits and the things in life that are worth spending that little bit more on!

Head to www.klarnamoneytalks.com to register for a chance to get a free copy of the card game and download the Klarna app for a smarter way to shop and pay!

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I’m here to pick up a wand

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Pete is still spending most of his spare time on Facebook Marketplace - but he isn't selling a magic wand, much to the disappointment of a five-year-old child. We recover from that crushing setback by celebrating the wonderful Takeshi’s Castle.

We then finish off the show by trying to answer the big question: what wouldn’t be improved by the addition of Snoop Dogg? We couldn’t think of anything, can you?

Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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The sweetest beans

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Welcome to the Luke and Pete Show Beans Special. We’re talking sweet beans, baked beans, useless butter beans - not the boxer, although he also gets a mention.

We then swap our magic beans for a cow going down a waterslide and an email about Harry Styles. Come and have a listen, you cowards.

Want to talk to us about beans? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

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Ian Brown’s nunchucks

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Pete has only brought two subjects that he wants to discuss on today’s show: Ian Brown’s nunchucks and a lead singer who took a very interesting course of action when needing to answer nature’s call. Warning, that second story is worse than you think.

After wading through those big issues, we just about have time to check in with two of our regular features on the show - battery brands and chasing dads.

Have a story you want us to discuss? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know Lionel Blair was born in Canada?

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 00:00:00 GMT

It’s Monday, and it was an eventful weekend. Pete stepped out of his comfort zone and attended a 90s weekender at Butlin's in Bognor, while Luke stayed in and witness a major incident of his own.

Luke also manages to say “the most boring thing he has ever said” on the podcast - brace yourselves.

Think you can offer something slightly less boring? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Pete bought a second reel-to-reel player

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 05:00:30 GMT

Heartbreak on today’s Luke and Pete Show; apparently the traditional full English breakfast is a dying art. We mourn that and also hear how Pete bought a new reel-to-reel player to find out what was on the tape on his old, broken reel-to-reel player. The result was, err... disappointing.

Stasi Dad’s son also got back in touch to assure you his dad “is not a Stasi man”.

Not a Stasi man? Let us know: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Marvel Studios: The Dregs

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 13:34:42 GMT

Luke went to see the new Marvel movie this weekend, even though no one warned him to avoid any outdoor activity first - the big sleepy bear. To be fair, it was only the dregs of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Elsewhere we have some feel-good content, as Pete met some police dogs and we get an email from a wholesome dad.

Is your dad wholesome? Let us know: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Chasing dads

Thu, 04 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday, it’s The Luke and Pete show and we have more stories about being chased by dads thanks to an email from listener Carl. However, before we get round to that Luke and Pete try to settle the big debate - If something comes out of your bum, is it poop?

Our excellent battery form also continues as we welcome a few new players to the game. Get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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The Shoreditch of Lithuania

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 13:49:16 GMT

Pinch punch! It’s the 1st of November and spooky season has been and gone. Today we chat about Halloween, and more importantly, how Pete didn’t invite Luke to his party. Pete also tells us about his trip to The Republic of Užupis, The Shoreditch of Lithuania. (He didn’t invite Luke to that either)

As usual, we finish off with a few emails, including a wholesome story about dad karate and a slightly less wholesome correspondence about a Dad that may or may not have worked for The Stasi.

Was your dad in The Stasi? Send it to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Mormon karate master

Thu, 28 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday, everyone - we're back! Luke and Pete are talking dads, Mormons and karate masters. Or, in one extraordinary case, a dad Mormon karate master.

We also had some correspondence on the subject of soiled pants and even found time to enter a couple of new players into the game!

Got a story to share with us? Send it to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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I don’t respect my George Foreman Grill

Mon, 25 Oct 2021 12:22:54 GMT

Back for another week! Today on The Luke and Pete Show, we discuss which household appliances we respect the most. Spoiler alert - Luke's George Foreman takes an absolute battering...

Elsewhere, there's a video that sparks Pete Donaldson's holy trinity of nightmares and listener Luke from Cardiff weighs in with some epic classic dad behaviour. Send in your classic Dad stories and more at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Crocodile Heads in Norfolk

Thu, 21 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Why don't billionaires do a remake of the Titanic? Why is a man going to Norfolk to buy dead crocodile heads? How are space probes fuelled? Why has a man who films cyst-ridden cow hooves got over a million subscribers on YouTube?

If you can find a single other podcast anywhere in the world answering the breadth of questions like above then please subscribe to it. Go on, do it. Do it with our blessing. But until then, stick with good ol' Lukey and Petey. We'll see you right.

Get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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New Rave Roller Coasters

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:58:31 GMT

Happy Monday! Welcome back to another half an hour with The Luke and The Pete. This time around we talk James Bond, which naturally leads into a chat about cinema etiquette and what level and frequency of cough Pete deems acceptable in the movie theatre.

There's also more tales from listeners about their school's approach to whatever non-existent drug problem existed at the time and we spend what feels like a lot of minutes talking about morning routines. What's yours? Let us know: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Fiddling with your own shed

Thu, 14 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

We come to you this Thursday with bad news. Pete's shed has stopped working! All the electrics have packed in and our eponymous hero is left wondering what to do. Hopefully he can get it sorted before the weather gets really cold.

Elsewhere, we talk the improvement in hand driers, the etiquette of the public toilet, a man that left skidmarked pants at Pete's house and the time his Dad nearly killed a man. Yes you read that correctly, and no those two incidents are not related.

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Bernard Matthews is a turkey man, first and foremost

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 13:26:51 GMT

Welcome along to a new week of LAPS, as the cool kids are calling it now. Luke and Pete, resplendent in their shackets, join each other to talk about a number of commercially available beverages, including Special Brew, Diet Coke and San Pellegrino, before getting stuck into some other bits and pieces including the Lake District, an app designed to stop incest and much, much more.

We also hear from you, the listener, and your finest tales as well, and if you're reading this and have never sent us an email, please don't be shy. You can find us on hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Who's going to tell Busta Rhymes?

Thu, 07 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday! It's time for some more tales from the broadcasting front line, courtesy of our eponymous heroes. On this episode, we first take in what it's like to work in a non-traditional office, before Pete sings the praises of the humble rice cooker, and Luke runs the rule over haircut etiquette.

We also take the time to double check that Pete wasn't mentioned in the Pandora Papers, hear about a listener who had his flip-flop stolen by an unlikely thief, and end on an evisceration of one of the world's most successful authors.

Bring your dinner: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Selling your skin

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 12:12:04 GMT

Welcome to a new week of LAPS! It's lovely to have you along. Pete's back from his holidays with the partner he has access to, but he missed the dogs he has access to and it turns out there's a problem with the fridge he has access to. So, a mixed bag really.

We start proceedings by getting stuck into Saltbae in a way that we could never afford to do in his actual restaurant, before waxing lyrical about foxes and walkie talkies. Our wonderful LAPS family has also excelled itself with some stories of their own, as they always do, so stick around for that.

Hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Mind that horse

Thu, 30 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Just how much time did Pete spend on that Jack Bauer chat forum back in the day? The guys attempt to get to grips with it and find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes...

Elsewhere, there's an update from the UK swingers scene, the boys learn about the perils of a vaping convention, and discuss the relative acting merits of Keanu Reeves.

Oh, and today's show also contains the following - baths, horse shit, the imperial measurement system and The One Show. Actually those first three subjects sound like they could all be features on The One Show, don't they?

Talk to us, we could be friends but you playin': hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Paranormal activity in the shed

Mon, 27 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Has Pete bought a set of walkie talkies to use down the shed so he doesn't need to spend quite as much time in the house? Yes, yes he has. And that can only be good news for the Luke and Pete Show, let's be honest. But what's this? One of the walkie talkies appears to be haunted? Ooooooooh, tell us more Donny...

PS: We also find some time to talk about a man who had a bike ride to remember and Mick Fleetwood.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the destination for all of your stories!

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Volcano Pete

Thu, 23 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Pete is off to the Canary Islands just in time to see a volcano erupt everywhere. Bloody typical. Will he come back covered in molten hot magma? Stay tuned to find out. What else does today's show consist of, we hear you ask? Well, there's a cat having problems using his catflap, a trip or two to the greyhounds, and a very naughty grandparent. Be warned.

To get in touch, you know the email address by now, but just in case you need a reminder: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Speak soon!

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This is your brain on Karate Kid III

Sun, 19 Sep 2021 23:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to another episode of The Luke and Pete Show! On today's instalment, Luke watches a classic film with his Grandad, while Pete spends yet more of his time emailing listeners privately about gibbons.

There's also POG, the true benefit of sheep eating only grass, and the remarkable ability of both of our protagonists for spilling food down their respective shirts.

Get in touch with us! We love hearing from you! hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the destination. Stay frosty!

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You bloody fool

Thu, 16 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to another episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Today we attempt to answer a number of questions on subjects as diverse as talking ducks, intelligence level needed to be a TV presenter, red hot playground slides, and bald maniacs who podcast.

There's also Married at First Sight, a big long walk in Australia and lots more. Have a great weekend! To send us a missive, use hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The least trusted haircut

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

The chaps are back with another round of nonsense, but they start with the big one - what is the least trusted haircut? As well as that, Pete discovers the Milk Crate Challenge just 20 weeks after it all started, decides he'd quite like to be a taxi driver at some point, and gives us all his theories on sea sickness.

There's also time for your stories as well, and one of them involves a quite awkward conversation around not deleting one's browsing history. Consider yourselves warned.

Let's hear from you, too! Get in touch with us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A cycle trip from hell

Thu, 09 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It's Thursday, so that must mean it's time for another edition of The Luke and Pete Show! We start today's episode by trying to work out where Pete can go on his next holiday, before ending the discussion by asking why people are always the worst versions of themselves at airports.

Elsewhere, there are protests, more sheep food chat and a group of listeners heading across Europe on their bikes with disastrous consequences.

Looking for somewhere to send a story? Here's the place: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's not always Dad

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 15:46:03 GMT

Welcome back to another week in the company of Luke and Pete! We hope you had a lovely weekend. This time around, the LAPS chaps discuss moviemaking, inspired by Luke taking a couple of trips to the cinema. After that, we hear another story involving a listener's parent's specialist DVD collection.

In other news, Pete has a problem with his eye which he thinks may have come from him refusing professional make up for a live theatre performance of Wrestle Me, to instead draw all over his face with a Sharpie. Will he ever learn? The answer, of course, is no.

To get in touch, we're always here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Bonus episode: Knowing what to expect

Sat, 04 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome to a special episode of The Luke and Pete Show, brought to you in paid partnership with Capital One!

Today, we're talking about times where you expected one thing, only to discover that the opposite was true. The boys share their own mishaps as well as a few tales of misfortune that we received from you lovely lot. Expect grim meals in Japan, an ill-fated trip to Lisbon and a very strange sleepwalking mate. Get involved!

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Strip your bed, you disgusting human

Thu, 02 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It's the great debate of our time: what process do you go through when you check out of a hotel? Luke and Pete clash on the correct way to leave your room for the cleaners, before turning their attention to a typically diverse array of different topics including asthma and ill-advised ways to commemorate the life of the great Martin Luther King.

Elsewhere, there's some fresh batteries to look at, as yet more listeners step up and try to find a new player to enter the game, and we get through a couple of your emails too.

Put your feet up in front of your podcast player and have a good time.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com to check in with us and let us know how you're doing.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Velvety soft

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 04:58:52 GMT

Welcome to another week in paradise! Your hosts, as ever, are Luke and Pete. Your subjects this time around are, in no particular order, animals that have lived the longest, trees with coins bashed into them, deer velvet, ice skating, car parking and Pete's historic constipation.

We also take the time to recount a story courtesy of one of our listeners about a European cycle trip gone awry, and it's a belter.

Have a great week!

To tell us a story of your own, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Scrotum FM

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday everyone! The weekend is nearly upon us, and what better way to celebrate than with half an hour of chat from your two favourite reprobates? On today's show, as well as all the usual chutney about batteries, we've got an interesting legal loophole in the United States, the philosophy that underpins Wikipedia (quite literally), and news from Pete of a CIA spy device that really has to be heard to be believed.

Don't go anywhere, keep it Luke and Pete. And to get further involved, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Linda Lusardi is a Worthy Foe

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to another week of Luke and Pete nonsense! You're very welcome. Today, the boys start with chat about Pete's dad's specialist VHS tapes before rapidly moving on to AI robots, Pete's worries for the near future and his ability to dream up imaginative but wholly innocent scenarios involving 80s glamour models.

Elsewhere there's a horrific skunk story from one of the LAPS family (we apologise in advance) as well as several other missives, including one email in particular that's just very nice. So, thanks for that.

To get in touch with us, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and we're over @lukeandpeteshow for all your social media needs.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

20 Years Ago, That's a South Park Episode

Thu, 19 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Alright, listen up. Today's Luke and Pete Show contains prosperity gospel preachers, the moustached pillow guy that loves Donald Trump, heavy metal, one of our listeners filming himself in an amazon store, and another one of our listeners getting bitten on the foreskin and scrotum by one of God's creatures (probably unrelated to the preacher we mentioned earlier).

I honestly don't know how you can listen to this show, a show that is completely free, and not be astonished by the amount of content we pack in. In fact, it's not just content, it's amazing value. Thanks for listening!

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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You Ain't No Skunk, You Skunk

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 15:45:29 GMT

Welcome back to another week of LAPS episodes, guys! Luke is back after some time away and he's telling stories about little critters making big smells.

Elsewhere, they're asking that age-old question: What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor 'cos he's hungry? And the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money?

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Mouse nightclub

Thu, 12 Aug 2021 04:00:23 GMT

Pete is joined by backroom Stak legend Charlie 'he'll bite anyone's finger if the price is right' Morgan for a chat about life, love and battery brands.

Luke's back next week, so get your questions in now - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Forbidden inky fruit

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 13:58:37 GMT

Pete's joined by Abroad In Japan's Chris Broad for one episode only (well, two if you count the last time he was on) and they talk all things plague chipmunks and forbidden Japanese inky balls.

Get in touch over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and you could have your beautifully crafted email read out in 2023!

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Would you stay in a chicken-based hotel?

Thu, 05 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

We bloody would!

In this show, Pete and Marc and Chris forget to talk about batteries, and instead shamelessly hawk tickets to the very best Stak.london shows at this years' London Podcast Festival. Come down, you pigs!

https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/26928/26929 - Wrestle Me

https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/26942/26943 - Clash of the titles...

Hello@LukeandPeteshow.com for all your messages and queries.

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Big in Japan

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 16:44:59 GMT

Guest star Vithushan Ehantharajah from the Football Ramble kindly joins an ailing Pete for a bit of Luke and Pete show fun.... LIVE FROM JAPAN!

We talk all things Olympics, all things convenience stores and whether you can truly trust a store that has a tiny cardboard policeman guarding its wares.

Oh, and Pete's got an update on his driving test. Could only happen to him, the daft prick. (Yes this is Pete writing about himself in the third person.)

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Shaving Yourself To Death

Thu, 29 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today's all-new episode of the Luke and Pete Show, it's time for some overdue Olympics chat. What event would Pete partake in if he had to give himself the best chance of qualifying for the games? Tune in to find out.

The boys also talk at length about their appearance, how Amazon shops actually work and of course take in a whole new raft of your battery suggestions, emails and other correspondence. Have a great weekend and we'll see you on Monday!

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Sunburnt Nostrils

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 16:50:53 GMT

Hello and a very warm welcome to another episode of the Luke and Pete Show! Today, Pete is back from a trip to the races and a visit to the beautiful city of York, although he doesn't appear to have learnt a huge amount about it. The boys also find time to talk about ultramarathons, which is interesting as neither of them will ever find the time to actually do one, obviously.

Elsewhere, there's temperature chat, dishwashers, microwaves, and plenty more besides, including your emails. To join in with this nonsense, hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Paint 'Em, But Don't Play With 'Em

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday, PALS! Today's episode is all about chatting to people in shops, working out the best way to escape mosquito bites, listening to a man from Wrexham, and the legendary Games Workshop. There's also a chilling story of a listener being let down by the great Tom Cruise, so stick around for that.

If you've ever been let down by a celebrity, we want to know about it. Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Meet The Neighbours

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 14:08:12 GMT

Hello and a very warm welcome to your all-new episode, LAPS fans! This time around, Pete tells Luke about his established position in the social hierarchy of his new neighbourhood, Luke regales us about how he bumped into an old friend, and we learn all about house burglaries. Elsewhere, there's the incredibly exciting news that Pete went for a swim in the sea and actually survived to tell the tale!

To get in touch with your tales of derring-do, or just to ask us a question, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Medieval Blacksmiths Of The World Unite!

Wed, 14 Jul 2021 23:00:00 GMT

Thursday's here! And that can only mean one thing, a new episode of The Luke and Pete Show. Rejoice! This time around the boys are ruminating on the artwork on rides at travelling funfairs, reminiscing about their time spent at amusement arcades, and talking about their favourite brands of bread.

There's also time for more of that classic question you ask your mates in the pub - what job would you have if you lived in a medieval village?

Send your battery brands/nonsense/offers of the freedom of various cities here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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These Wooden Ideas

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 12:52:52 GMT

Welcome to another week of Luke and Pete Show episodes, starting the news that Pete has taken to doing some joinery around his new house, something that naturally already has him comparing himself to the world's most famous carpenter. Will his house fall down at some point? Almost certainly.

Elsewhere, the chaps marvel at Tom Cruise's minerals, there's some chat about the Bezos v Branson war that nobody asked for, and we hear from a listener that gave competitive eating a go just for a laugh. How did he get on? Tune in to find out...

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we'd love to hear from you!

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Supermarket Alumni

Thu, 08 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today's show, the boys digest the recent news coverage of eating competitions on TV, as Luke decides which food would be his go-to binge-eating snack.

We also have time for our favourite NEW PLAYER yet, how to survive eating lethal plants, and a very misleading email...GET STUCK IN!

Have you ever eaten a poisonous plant? Or actually seen a celebrity shopping in a garden centre? You know who to tell. GET IN TOUCH by dropping us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or on our Instagram/Twitter pages @lukeandpeteshow.

Produced by Natalie Wilson.

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Brassy Steampunk Cows

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 12:16:03 GMT

On today’s show, while Luke’s been away spending time with some steampunk farm animals, Pete’s tells us about his recent DIY kitchen work.

Elsewhere, the boys go shopping in an Amazon supermarket, Luke shares news about his catastrophic beef-eating experience, and we get to some of your *very* EXCITING EMAILS.

GET IN TOUCH! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on our Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow. We LOVE hearing your nonsense.

Produced by Natalie Wilson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Heavily Latexed Armadillo

Thu, 01 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today's show, Luke wants to know which sexy beast Pete would morph into if he could. Meanwhile, Pete has some interesting thoughts on one poor man's wrong legged amputation...

We've also got time for NEW PLAYERS, suitcases full of wires, surprise Stephen King novels and an x-ray version of Naked Attraction. SO MUCH NONSENSE!

Get in touch! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow. There's nothing we love more than hearing from you all!

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What's Cooler Than A Million Dollars?

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 09:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, the boys discuss the do’s and don’ts of takeaway etiquette after Pete orders a large steak on Deliveroo.

We also have news on which tube line is the real MVP, how to deal with dodgy neighbours, and what’s cooler than a million dollars...

GET IN TOUCH! What's the worst thing you've ever ordered as takeaway food? What do you think is cooler than a million dollars? Let us know over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or by dropping us a message on Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow.

If you're enjoying what you're hearing, leave us a REVIEW on Apple Podcasts! 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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Don't Bark If You Can't Bite

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, musical maestro Luke spins the decks for Pete as the boys take part in some musical quizzing, before we take flight towards the potato state of Idaho.

Elsewhere, TWO NEW PLAYERS ENTER THE GAME, we discuss how Pete and Elon Musk are more or less the same person, and Luke has some rather inappropriate emails to read...DON'T MISS OUT!

Want to have your very own absolute nonsense featured on the show? You know what to do. GET INVOLVED - drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on our social media over at @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing from you!

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Microdosing MSG

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 09:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke and Pete crack open some Tyskie cans, munch on posh crisps and discuss the benefits of microdosing MSG as we digest the latest nonsense the boys have stumbled upon.

Amongst the Madeley madness and microwaveable fish, we’ve also got news on the new house Pete has access to and some interesting discussion about private parts... GET STUCK IN!

Get in touch! We LOVE hearing from you so drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or by sending us a message on our Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow!

If you're enjoying the show, go and drop us a review on Apple Podcasts! You know you want to. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Been...

Thu, 17 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Puff Puff Pete tells us about his casual visits to Doobsville, USA, before Luke shares news on a dating disaster involving one man and his 35 girlfriends.

Elsewhere, the boys discuss the holy grail of old men's haircuts and what it takes to have an incredibly epic nap, before A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME.

This week, we want your battery brands! Get in touch with new brands you've found in your old gadgets, at the back of your dad's garage or in that long egg device you just purchased - drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or get involved on our Twitter/Instagram @lukeandpeteshow. THANKS!

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Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 10:53:26 GMT

On today’s show, we’re recording in the fast lane as Pete shares breaking news of the world's most bizarre smuggling scandal to date. Elsewhere, Luke gives us the 101 on how to fix a cat.

We’ve also got time for unusual pet snacks, podcast pub fiascos and the largest human poo on record…DON'T MISS OUT!

Have you ever smuggled anything before? Does your pet cat enjoy a particularly weird snack? Get in touch and let us know! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or get involved on our Twitter and Instagram @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing from you!

If you're currently enjoying the show, go ahead and drop us a review. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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Delicious Nonsense

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today's show, Luke discovers news about a man who's been living alone on an island for decades and considers how he'd survive living solo. Elsewhere, Pete is after more intellectual conversation as he explores the idea of a potato chip made of human flesh. Delightful.

We've also got time for earwax suction techniques, Indian food we have access to and the official beach of Sandi Toksvig, before taking a very disappointing trip to battery corner. GET STUCK IN!

Want to be featured on the show? Have you recently thought about surviving on an island alone, or gained access to a brand new crisp flavour? Whatever nonsense you've been digging into, share it with us! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or a message on our Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow. THANKS!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Birthday In The Bathroom

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 10:25:02 GMT

On today's show, the boys are back in the studio to celebrate the Luke and Pete Show's 4th birthday! While Luke brings the party to life with live karaoke, Pete's experiencing some rather unfortunately *audible* toilet troubles...

Elsewhere, we hear all about a KFC criminal and the world's most expensive chicken nugget, before getting to some *very* exciting emails...

GET IN TOUCH! We LOVE hearing from you - let us know your favourite memories from the past 4 years of Luke and Pete's nonsense, or tell us all about a recent celebration you've had by dropping us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or by joining the fun on our Twitter/Instagram @lukeandpeteshow. THANKS!

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The One Where Pete Goes Sleepwalking

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke gives us some insight into the family he has access to and the fun and games behind the seafood shucking industry, before the boys digest the recent Friends reunion and Pete unveils which cast member might secretly be his dad...

Elsewhere, over in battery corner, THREE NEW PLAYERS enter the game before a listener gets in touch with a story surrounding office parkour, stolen keys and cranberry juice...

GET IN TOUUUUCH! Drop us an email with your latest nonsense, new battery brands, bizarre pets you have access to and so forth over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, or give us a message on our Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow! THANKS!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's A F***ing Emergency

Mon, 31 May 2021 12:54:58 GMT

On today’s show, Luke and Pete are reunited as Pete updates us live from a deep, dark corner of Canterbury where he’s been enjoying some MSG-covered oysters. Meanwhile, Luke’s got a fancy new WhatsApp profile picture to share…

Also on today’s show, we’ve got news on Bernie Sanders’ Gatorade and unsalted cashew nut diet, Pete’s top tips on why you *shouldn’t* be drinking water and our most incredible driving test failure story yet.

GET IN TOUCH! There's nothing we love more than reading out your nonsense on the show. Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or get involved on our Twitter/Instagram @lukeandpeteshow. THANKS!

If you're enjoying what you hear, go and drop us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Only Fans And Horses

Thu, 27 May 2021 04:00:33 GMT

On today’s show, Pete is joined by Vish once more to discuss the art of life drawing and how to handle awkward parent situations, before we look towards clubs re-opening and decide on what *not* to do on the dance floor.

Elsewhere, we review this year’s Eurovision and Vish shares his tips on people-watching, before a listener gets in touch after being attacked by an unfortunate car airbag. We've got all that and a whole lot more, DON'T MISS OUT!

Get involved by dropping us a nonsense-fuelled email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or by giving us a message on @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing from you!

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The Honda Jazz Man

Mon, 24 May 2021 12:37:16 GMT

On today’s show, while Luke’s away for the week, Pete is joined by fellow Football Rambler and Honda Jazz driver, Vish! While Vish offers some much-needed emotional support after last week’s driving disasters, Pete has turned his interests to becoming a bullet train driver in Japan.

We’ve also got time for unfortunate testicles, speeding violations and a special message from none other than Kanye West. The Luke and Pete Show’s moving up in the world.

GET INVOLVED! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.come or get in touch on our Twitter/Instagram @lukeandpeteshow!

If you're enjoying the show, give us a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Pete's had a tough week. Cheers!

Produced by Natalie Wilson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Voltage Fraud

Thu, 20 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke takes us down memory lane for a disastrous story about a very awkward bucket of chicken, while Pete records from his man shell as he recovers from Monday’s brutal breakdown.

Elsewhere, a NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME before one of the boys gets caught out in some battery fraud. We also hear directly from the dogs Pete has access to..you don’t want to miss this!

GET INVOLVED! Drop us an email with your latest nonsense story over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, or get in touch on our Twitter/Instagram pages @lukeandpeteshow. We LOVE hearing from you!

If you're enjoying the show, go and drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. You don't want to see Pete having another breakdown. Cheers!

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The Driving Test

Mon, 17 May 2021 14:13:58 GMT

On today’s show, Pete is fresh out of his driving test as we find out whether he passed, what went wrong, and why he’s been drunk-texting his instructor...meanwhile, Luke has news on our long duck friend making his TV debut.

We also have time for some painful Dad behaviours, golfing mishaps and - despite ending up in A&E due to a pot noodle injury - Pete tells us about how he’s been tutoring an A&E doctor. DON’T MISS OUT!

Tell us about your driving tests - did you pass first time or are you still attempting? Let us know over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or drop us a message on Twitter/Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow!

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Motorway Scooters and First-Person Shooters

Thu, 13 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Pete begins preparing for his long-awaited driving test, while Luke shares news about a potential inbound rocket heading for the studio...

Elsewhere, over in our newly established ‘battery corner’, A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME and triggers some intense chat about ex girlfriends, before we receive some behind-the-scenes Come Dine With Me updates from a man named Disco John.

GET INVOLVED! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on our Twitter and Instagram pages at @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing all of your nonsense!

Don't forget to leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Produced by Natalie Wilson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Belated Birthday Bobbleheads

Mon, 10 May 2021 09:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Pete’s back for some belated birthday celebrations after spending a night in the zoo and Luke’s ready to throw a live party, before the boys discuss breaking news about the world’s longest duck.

We’ve also got time for takeaway scams, gibbon upgrades and a listener emails in to answer our ever-important questions on the location of dinosaur breasts. Standard stuff.

Do you have any news on recent birthday celebrations in the zoo? Or surprisingly long animals? You know what to do - drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on Twitter/Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow. We LOVE hearing from you!

If you're enjoying the show, drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do very nicely. Cheers!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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An Unexpected Goose and A Model Photoshoot

Thu, 06 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke is joined by Jim again and the boys are in for one hell of an emotional roller coaster! Jim shares news on the world’s most shocking model photoshoot to date, before Luke reveals the outrageous new regulations in place for town crier championships.

Elsewhere, Jim steps up as a battery judge as a NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME, and a listener gets in touch with an incredibly muddy story and arguably our funniest email yet. DON’T MISS OUT!

Have you ever had a traumatic rollercoaster experience? This week that's what we want to hear all about - get in touch on our social media at @lukeandpeteshow, or drop us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Thanks!

If you're enjoying the show, make sure you drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aliens, A&E and One Big Canal Catastrophe

Mon, 03 May 2021 09:00:00 GMT

It’s another Jim Campbell special!

On today’s show, Luke’s joined by none other than The Crappening star, Jim Campbell! While Pete’s busy celebrating his birthday, Jim’s popped in to update us on his recent A&E trips, ghastly family members and Saturday night drunken antics.

We also discuss aggressively meaty pizzas and dads with 'sizeable backyards' before our friendly parrot emailer gets back in touch with some exciting updates. Get involved!

This week we want to hear about your worst drunken antics after a few pints down the pub! Have you ever made it into a canal? Let us know - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or @lukeandpeteshow on the socials. Cheers!

If you're enjoying the show, drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Thanks!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One Incredibly Smooth Man

Thu, 29 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke introduces us to the most clean-shaven, manscaped man on Earth, meanwhile Pete’s got news on a huge gaming achievement from a man with sweet licks and incredibly fast fingers...

Elsewhere, we review 'The Josh Fight' which took place this weekend as the boys rank themselves amongst the other Lukes and Petes of the world, before we see some Spanish batteries enter the game and read an informative email about T-Rex bum holes. DON'T MISS OUT!

If you've got some exciting news to share with us, get involved! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on Instagram/Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow. We LOVE hearing from you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Crutches, Coconuts and Cats on Ketamine

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 13:06:30 GMT

On today’s show, Luke and Pete discuss the injuries they accrued over the weekend, with potholes, ketamine and day-old pizza involved…it’s been a tough one.

We’ve also got plenty of time for monster truck drag racing, sandy sandwiches and some fan mail from an incredibly enthusiastic parrot. Your standard dose of nonsense… and then some.

This week we want to know...what's the biggest item your dad owns? Get in touch via email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or on social media at @lukeandpeteshow!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Is That Smell?

Thu, 22 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke shares fascinating news surrounding NASA’s new helicopter flying on Mars, while Pete is more interested in Tesla rear ends and vehicles that can open their own arse.

We’ve also got time for bond villain emails, fabricated personal assistants, boss keys AND battery brands for you. What more could you ask for?

If you're enjoying our shows, go and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pub Punch-Ups and T-Rex D Cups

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 13:20:53 GMT

On today’s show, n00b-pwner Pete Donaldson shares all about his recent trip to the pub after spending the entirety of lockdown flirting with Tyskie cans and the boys discuss everything from scary dream scenarios to fizzy milk fiascos.

Elsewhere, Luke’s got some arousing t-rex trivia for us, we explore some NSFW artwork from the Mario galaxy and Pete unveils exclusive PUBG secrets. Don’t miss out!

Got any exclusive news about video game maps or some sexy dinosaur quiz questions for us? You know what to do. Drop us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or send a cheeky message to our Instagram and Twitter pages at @lukeandpeteshow. We LOVE hearing from you!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Turbulent Cartwheel Restrictions

Thu, 15 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke shares an update on his lockdown personal training plans, meanwhile Pete takes us on a turbulent trip through his recent flight simulator journeys.

Elsewhere, the game is on FIRE as we see two new players enter, before Aussie Pete gets in touch and the real Donaldson tells us all about the contents of his garage. What more could you want?

We want to hear from YOU! Get in touch over on our Instagram and Twitter @lukeandpeteshow, or drop us a juicy email to be in with a chance of hearing it read on the show - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

Oh - and while you're at it, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do nicely. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An Armadillo Role-Play

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 15:16:41 GMT

On today’s show, punk Pete Donaldson gets ready for his very first driving lesson in a Formula 1 car, before the boys discuss the joys of pubs reopening without scotch egg and pitta bread restrictions.

We’ve also got a Prince Philip tribute from Pete, Darth Vader toilet troubles from Luke and some handy freezer life hacks from a listener who really knows their onions. Don’t miss out!

Get involved by sending us an exciting email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! Or drop us a follow on Instagram/Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing from you!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Satisfying Stolen Shoe Horn

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today's episode, Pete dives into discussion about the most satisfying feelings in life, before Luke tells us what shoes to avoid wearing if you don't want to look old.

Also on today's show, the boys share hacks on how to make it look like you're working when you're not, before A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME. Just two boys and a load of batteries - don't miss out!

Get involved by dropping us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, or following us over on Instagram and Twitter - @lukeandpeteshow.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're Not The Boss Of Me Now

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 11:50:57 GMT

On today’s show, Pete tells us all about the homemade steaks and professional haircuts he’s been giving his dogs over the weekend. Meanwhile, Luke shares some very questionable news about a Florida man and his pickle. Strap yourselves in.

Elsewhere, we chat all things Easter-related with burnt hot cross buns and bird poo-filled Creme Eggs, before tucking into some amusing emails about medieval memes. Just the usual stuff, really - don’t miss out!

Get involved over on our social media at @lukeandpeteshow, or drop us a juicy email - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Oh, and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An Excess Of Dirty Cheese

Thu, 01 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

On today's episode, Luke and Pete give us the rundown on their new film idea, 'The Bitcoin Boys', after hearing that Cocaine Bear is coming to the big screen.

We've also got battery brands, pastry sponsorships and a heated rant about not-so-self-made celebrities. GET STUCK IN!

We love hearing from you so make sure you get in touch on our Twitter and Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow, or drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Oh, and if you're enjoying the show, drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On fire and headed for a fatberg

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 13:12:26 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete are discussing their funeral wishes and mourning the loss of Maplin from the high street.

It’s not all doom and gloom though, as the Suez Canal, garden centres and big bums are also on the agenda.

Get in touch on Twitter, or send us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Thu, 25 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Pete describes an intense 50 mph visit to the supermarket with a co-driver he has access to, meanwhile Luke asks what the most enjoyable feeling in the world is.

We’ve also got new battery brands, steampunk stories and emergency ‘flashlights’, plus Luke gives us some tactical insight into how to master playing PUBG.

Come and get involved! Send us an email with your latest nonsense stories over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, or get in touch on our buzzing Twitter/Instagram pages at @lukeandpeteshow!

Oh, and if you're enjoying the show, drop us a review on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Thanks!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Shopping Trolley Bounty Hunter

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 14:22:56 GMT

On today’s show, Pete introduces us to some shocking takeaway revelations while finishing off his Chinese for breakfast, before the boys discuss the rather unappetising elements of the 1904 Olympics.

That's not all - there are giant men on Luke's roof, Pete's been stripping in public over the weekend and a listener gets in touch with an incredibly chocolate-y email. Get stuck in!

We want to hear from you! Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com with some of your own weekly nonsense, or get involved on Twitter/Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow!

Oh, and if you're enjoying the show, give us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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A Whole Load Of Elephant Boobs

Thu, 18 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Pete’s talks us through installing cow udders into his car, meanwhile Luke explores some fishy business involving mysterious prawn ball ingredients...

Elsewhere, we discuss jellyfish peeing etiquette and how to inject Minstrels before A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME.

GET INVOLVED! Have you installed something bizarre into your car? Or discovered something unusual in a prawn ball? Let us know on social media over at @lukeandpeteshow or drop us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

If you're enjoying the show, leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts!

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An Owl In Fluffy Trousers

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 14:47:13 GMT

On today’s show, Luke introduces his new moustache and tells us all about its important purpose, before Pete shares news about being mistaken for a model.

Elsewhere, we review your generic Mum behaviours before the boys discuss their own, and a listener gets in touch with some exciting TV stories including their inspiring You’ve Been Framed debut. Don’t miss out!

We want to hear your NEWS! Get involved and drop us a message over on Instagram and Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow, or throw us an email - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

If you're enjoying the show, head over to Apple Podcasts and give us a review! 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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Pete's Private Potholes

Thu, 11 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Pete explains his current Tyskie drought situation, before the boys discuss ‘the dank scale’ and some weekend pothole adventures.

Elsewhere, Luke shares some more valuable life hacks and a listener gets in touch with news on how to polish your chocolates. Also on today’s show, A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME... but there’s some controversy over this one. Get involved!

Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or come and get involved on our social media - @lukeandpeteshow - where there's LOADS of extra content and laughs.

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The Nonsense Corner Of The Internet

Mon, 08 Mar 2021 19:00:05 GMT

On today’s show, we hear all about Pete’s late-night fridge door antics, before the boys discuss what they’d do as Mayor of London for the day...spoiler alert: imagine a *lot* of gelatine in the Thames.

Elsewhere, we discuss life hacks, luxury dining for ducks and some incredible Skittles statistics. Don’t miss out!

Do you have any interesting confectionary statistics for us? Or just general nonsense news? Get in touch on our social media over at @lukeandpeteshow or drop us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Oh - and drop us a review. 5 stars will do. Hop on over to Apple Podcasts. Cheers!

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The Posh Crisp Phenomenon

Thu, 04 Mar 2021 05:00:20 GMT

On today’s show, the boys discuss the highs and lows of the crisp industry before Pete takes us to his palace, more commonly known as the ‘garage’, for a lesson on BBQs.

Elsewhere, we talk about the correct etiquette for a staycation, a listener gets in touch about plane engine failures and A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME.

Got any interesting crisp-based stories for us? Or maybe you've been a participant on Come Dine With Me and want to tell us your story - either way - GET INVOLVED! Drop us a message on Instagram or Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow or email us hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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The Flaming Fireballs Alliance

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 19:58:42 GMT

On today’s show, Luke and Pete discuss plastic gloves, flaming fireballs and a stupendous amount of skittles before we take a trip down memory lane and into some dodgy workplace stories.

Elsewhere, the boys chat all things DIY after Pete inherits a squeaky old park bench, and we make a final decision on who the real sidekick is. Don’t miss out!

Come and get involved over on our new Instagram page @lukeandpeteshow where there's loads of additional content being uploaded! Or drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com with your latest funny news for the boys.

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A Glitching House Move

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Pete soft-in-the-middle Donaldson tells us all about the glitches involved in moving house, before the boys begin a philosophical chat involving a ‘real dog shit sandwich’.

Also on today’s episode, we hear news about a man posting cash through random letterboxes, a testicle epidemic, and a slightly heated discussion about who the real sidekick is on the show. Don’t miss out!

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Dodgy Hairstyles We Have Access To

Mon, 22 Feb 2021 19:15:15 GMT

On today’s show, Luke gives us the full rundown on Pete’s assorted lockdown haircuts, before we turn to space to discuss the latest NASA rover making milky tea on Mars.

Elsewhere, Luke tells us all about his school art class battles and we get to hear some exciting VPN updates from a listener in Shanghai. Don’t miss out!

Get in touch with us via email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or drop us a message on Instagram and Twitter - @lukeandpeteshow's the handle! We love hearing from you (most of the time).

If you've read down this far, make sure to drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Nothing less. Cheers!

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Chimpanzee Wars and Plastic Dinosaurs

Thu, 18 Feb 2021 05:00:10 GMT

We're back! On today's episode, Pete talks us through his recent nautical-themed eBay purchases, before the boys discuss their questionable interior design ideas.

Elsewhere, Luke shares news on a shocking discovery about a 4-year chimpanzee war and we hear a heartwarming listener's story about taking plastic dinosaurs to the pub. Listen now!

Got any exciting news for us? Drop us an email over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or give us a message on social media @lukeandpeteshow!

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Don't Feed Your Kids Batteries

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:01:44 GMT

On today’s show, Viking Luke and Musketeer Donaldson explore American vs British recipes and what not to feed your children. Also on this episode, Luke and Pete share some of their food guru idols...

Elsewhere, Luke tells us what he’s been doing to ease lockdown headaches and Pete shares his peculiar reality TV ice skating plans. Don’t miss out!

Get involved by emailing us over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or dropping us a follow on Instagram/Twitter - @lukeandpeteshow. Oh, and if you've read this far down, give us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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Pete's Famous Nipples

Thu, 11 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

We're back! On today's show, Luke explores the struggles of age-related back injuries, while Chef Pete introduces us to his top tips for getting busy in the kitchen.

Elsewhere, we discuss motorised robotic bins and personalised Scottish gritting trucks before ANOTHER NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME! Don't miss out!

Get in touch with us on Twitter and Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow with your stories from the week, or drop us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Front Door Gadget Scammers

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 19:00:52 GMT

On today’s show, the boys parachute into their own parish council meeting to discuss the latest on local door-to-door scamming, before Pete shares news on his plans to move house.

Elsewhere, Luke has an exciting countdown to make before we review some dodgy Dad behaviours and get to some of your emails. Don’t miss out!

Have you had any interesting scammers visiting your front door recently? Let us know over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or drop us a message on Instagram@lukeandpeteshow.

If you've scrolled down this far, make sure you head over to Apple Podcasts and drop us a review. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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Dreams, Dumps and Defragmentation

Thu, 04 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, Luke shares some peculiar news on the evolution of Wombats and we head over to Twitter to hear which politician Pete’s been arguing with.

Elsewhere, the boys discuss sleep-talking before receiving a highly anticipated email from the ultimate hard drive Yoda and A NEW PLAYER ENTERS THE GAME. Don’t miss out!

Got any news about random animal droppings or politicians you've argued with online? Get in touch over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or via Instagram and Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow!

If you've read this far down, you really should go and give us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening. 5 stars will do. Cheers!

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A Warm Cup Of Nature’s Cafetière

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 17:27:59 GMT

On today’s show, Pete prepares a cup of eggy coffee before the boys chat about their previous job experiences, involving dodgy jeans, industrial estates and a baffling experience at Woolworths.

Elsewhere, Luke discovers some mysterious stolen art before we discuss typical Dad mannerisms and Chinese takeaways from Deliveroo Donaldson. Listen now!

Make sure to get in touch by emailing us over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com with your latest news stories and any topics you'd like to hear us chatting about! We're also on Twitter and Instagram over at @lukeandpeteshow, so drop us a follow there too. Cheers!

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Not Your Average Bedroom Decorator

Thu, 28 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, the boys discuss their latest television binges, as Luke explores goblin castles and Pete tells us about TV’s biggest sore losers.

Elsewhere, Luke receives an email that’s kept him up at night, before another listener gets in touch about an awkward bedroom run-in with Linda Barker. Also on today’s show: A NEW PLAYER HAS ENTERED THE GAME...and it’s linked to a rather suspicious aeroplane crash. Don’t miss out!

Get involved over at @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter and Instagram, or drop us an email - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Let us know what you've been up to, and what's keeping you going through lockdown.

Oh, and drop us a review on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars or Luke will have something to say about it. Cheers!

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A Bath Full Of Aggressive Polish Beer

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 18:48:44 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete reminisce about some sexy dragon porn before Pete gives us a taste of his boozy bath-time habits.

Elsewhere, Dr Luke provides the perfect cure to a migraine. We also hear some Pete Donaldson Traffic Tales involving scooters, bullies and McDonald's hash browns. Don’t miss out!

Get involved with behind the scenes Luke and Pete content over on Instagram and Twitter, by following us at @lukeandpeteshow! Or email us over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com with any juicy stories you'd like to share.

Oh, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Compliment Pete's hair or something. Cheers!

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An Illegal Ham Sandwich

Thu, 21 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, the boys fire up their engines to discuss flying cars and drone motorbikes, before Pete shares some shocking news about a recent addition to his own transport collection.

Elsewhere, we learn about illegal sandwiches and parachuting pioneers, before one listener gets in touch with a story about Michael Jackson interrupting a school game of Rounders. Listen now!

Get involved by emailing us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or following us over on Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow!

Oh, and leave us a review while you're at it. 5 stars on Apple Podcasts will do. Thanks!

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Born in Hartlepool, made in the Royal Navy

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 18:51:18 GMT

On today's show, Pete tells us all about his days working in the zoo with animals in nappies, meanwhile Luke reveals who he's desperate to give a Chinese burn to.

In other news, we discuss asthmatic sleepovers and pole-dancing firefighters, before getting to one very exciting email about the Royal Navy. Listen now!

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or over on Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow!

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Snail Survival Skills

Thu, 14 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete take a walk on the wild side and discuss survival tactics: Luke fears facing crocodiles, while Pete worries about which berries he can eat to avoid asthma attacks.

Elsewhere, we hear about a mysterious, paranormal phone call and a policeman’s failed night out, before we find out exactly what the boys were like back in their school days. Get stuck in!

Got any exciting news for us? Email it over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Go and leave us a 5 star review over at Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. You know you want to.

See acast.com/privacy for opt-out and privacy information.

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Discos, Dads and Dirty Talk

Mon, 11 Jan 2021 19:18:51 GMT

We’re back! On today’s show, the boys get stuck into some important business as Pete ranks his favourite types of army troops, before we discuss the most acceptable facial hair choices a man can make.

Elsewhere, Luke seeks advice from an experienced electrician, Pete tells us all about a very well-endowed Danish man’s cartoon catastrophes and we reminisce about boys’ school discos. Listen now!

Get involved over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A Real Speed Demon

Thu, 07 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, we’re back on the road as Speed Demon Pete Donaldson chats about his recent long-distance scooter trip, while Luke shares his theory on how to successfully jump out of a plane.

Elsewhere, we discuss a 10 year old’s journey into weightlifting before looking at how to train your child with a tin of beans.

In other exciting news, TWO NEW PLAYERS HAVE ENTERED THE GAME...both with rather arousing names. Listen now!

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Please take time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Pete's Pickled Fitness Plan

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 14:04:46 GMT

Luke and Pete are back to kickstart the year! On today’s show, the boys explore some brand new healthy eating habits as we discuss the complex cuisine of a banana alongside the exciting prospect of fartless pickled onions.

Elsewhere, Pete tells us all about his strip poker days and explicit photoshopping skills, before we begin some community policing after hearing from a cop with credentials. Don’t miss out!

Drop us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and tell us all about your New Year's eating habits.

Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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How to Behave in a Toilet Rave

Thu, 31 Dec 2020 05:00:50 GMT

Welcome back and a Happy New Year's Eve! On today's show, the boys review 2020 before Pete tells us all about his new year's Samurai Sword ambitions. Elsewhere, Luke rants about bathroom hand lotions before we discover the fate of a 12 year old's unlicensed school toilet rave.

Also on today's episode, some new players have entered the game! We review these, explore the concept of a new KFC gaming device, and finally settle on some big (ish) resolutions for 2021. Don't miss out!

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and tell us all about your entrepreneurial ventures in school!

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The Flute and Pete Show

Mon, 28 Dec 2020 14:35:07 GMT

Luke and Pete are back with more wonderful Christmas nonsense! On today’s episode, Luke shares the news about a rather explicit Nativity scene, while Pete tells us all about a dog walker’s shocking story - involving a suspicious green cyclist and an unexpected limp.

Elsewhere, we hear about the flute disasters of a silent musical maestro and how one Christmas Carol service ended up reciting Tupac lyrics instead of Catholic prayer. Grab a mug of tea and a slice of Viennetta and join us!

Email us over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Deck the Halls and Brine Your Turkeys!

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 14:14:46 GMT

Merry Christmas from your favourite pals! On today’s episode, the boys get ready for Christmas as Luke prepares his turkey in a carrier bag and Pete brines his pears before the big day... And if that doesn't quite whet your appetite, we also discuss friendzoning, Space Guardians, and the consequences of having a Poundland sandwich for lunch.

Elsewhere, we chat about an angry Druid’s response to Stonehenge being closed for lockdown, and hear out one very concerned listener who emailed in to ask Pete for tips on passing his driving theory test. Enjoy!

Tell us all about your Christmas over at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Two Wise Men

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 15:19:44 GMT

Luke and Pete are back and things are getting Christmassy! The boys discuss everything from Disney Princesses to fizzy lagers, plus important news about a cat getting its head shaved. Also on today’s episode, Luke details his childhood flute-playing skills before Pete tells us all about his most important Nativity play performance - involving pulling a man’s hand off…

Elsewhere, we’re back with some of your exciting emails, including one pub’s unfortunate fruit machine scandal. Don’t miss out!

Get involved! Let us know all about your Christmas plans - hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Crunchy Foot Syndrome

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

The boys are back with more responsible chat as we discuss flight attendants in nappies, passing wind on public transport, and where to stock up on alcoholic soup.

Elsewhere, Luke learns about one drug-dealing entrepreneur’s healthy crystal meth recipe, while Pete reveals his unhealthy chocolate stealing habits.

Also on today’s show, some exciting emails take us back to school as we discuss terrible student reports and celebrity teachers in disguise. Enjoy! Have you brought any particularly weird Christmas presents this year? Let us know at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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A thoughtful small amount of beef

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 13:39:09 GMT

Pete took his driving test last week and he’s ready to grill Luke on some of the more ridiculous questions on the test. Also on this episode, Luke reveals the unusual Christmas gift he received from Pete in the post and he also shares his theory on where to find the best tacos in the world.

If you want to get in touch, we’d love to hear from you! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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An Over-whale-ming Discovery

Thu, 10 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday, which means Luke and Pete are back for some more nonsense! In today’s episode, Luke discovers the profitable benefits of fishing for whale vomit and the boys decide to give up their day jobs to become Ambergris hunters.

We also look into one woman’s spooky discovery in her new house’s basement wall, before diving into some very interesting emails concerning Pete’s broadband difficulties and some particularly sloppy school work. Enjoy!

Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Parkour Gibbons Galore

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 14:58:07 GMT

The boys are forward-rolling into today’s episode of The Luke and Pete Show as Pete illustrates his podcasting parkour skills. Meanwhile, Luke takes us on a rather chaotic trip down memory lane to discuss cars on fire, flying go-karts, and Street Fighter Remastered as two Dads participate in an epic childhood brawl.

Elsewhere, the boys discuss their favourite arcade games and introduce all-new players to the battery championships before getting to some exciting emails...involving one listener’s incredibly overpriced scotch egg. Don’t miss out! Don’t miss out! Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Celery Sticks and Poo Bandits

Thu, 03 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete are back with more weird and wonderful conversation! On today's show, the boys discuss another bizarre discovery that washed up on an Australian beach. Also, Pete delineates the struggles of a doggy day trip to the petrol station.

Elsewhere, Luke yet again takes to the director’s seat to chat all things film, before the boys consider their most common emotions - and why working from home makes them just a little less awkward.

Also on today’s show, we cover lots of emails, including one involving a listener’s poo bandit investigation. And finally, there’s talk of The Luke and Pete Family Reunion Show making a debut after Pete’s long-lost relative turns up to do some plumbing.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and if you enjoy the show, please drop us a review on Apple Podcasts! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Alien Invasion or Avant Garde Installation?

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 14:08:36 GMT

Luke’s back with turmeric stained fingers and he’s got something to say about Marc Haynes' impression of him on last week’s show. Meanwhile, Pete’s been playing with petrol and getting bullied by a particularly crafty salesman...

Also on this episode: fried turkeys, mysterious metal structures and the theft of a Banksy. What a weekend it’s been!

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and if you enjoy the show, please drop us a review on Apple Podcasts!

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One noodle sandwich with no crusts, please

Thu, 26 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday, which means another dose of nonsense from The Luke and Pete Show! On today’s episode, Pete's joined by independent filmmaker, Youtuber and voice of the Abroad In Japan podcast, Chris Broad!

From Yamagata to Hartlepool, the boys discuss rumours surrounding Pete’s secret Japanese family and what it takes to become a successful Youtuber. Meanwhile, Chris gives us a taste of his adventurous diet involving coffee, fried chicken, and the odd noodle sandwich...

Elsewhere, we have some very exciting emails covering everything from popcorn fraud to the bizarre link between Star Trek: Voyager and Barack Obama’s presidential election. Don’t miss out!

Have you ever eaten a meaty ice pop before? Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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The Scream Database

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 16:17:58 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show! Luke's away for the day, so Pete's joined by comedy writer and Wrestle Me star, Marc Haynes! On this episode, we’re sitting down with a slice of Kendal Mint Cake and some Rum Babas to discuss phone calls with ghosts, how to harvest your screams, and why Heaven needs a Zoom doorbell.

Elsewhere, Pete tells us all about religious superdogs while Marc shares his big bucket list dreams alongside what *not* to do with a new PS5.

Do you have any stories to scream about? Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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A faith-palm moment

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete talk all things holy after the Pope blessed a certain unexpected Instagram photo earlier on this week. Elsewhere, Luke’s unleashed his inner movie buff as he discusses cliché film favourites, British bad guys and featuring on the big screen himself!

Also on the show, we chat all about chemical elements, discover the three things people can watch endlessly without getting bored, and hear some very bizarre emails - think big meaty squirrels and a care home horror story with a twist. Enjoy!

Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!

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Lock, Stock and...bags thrown out of the window?

Mon, 16 Nov 2020 16:36:44 GMT

On today’s show, the Chinese scooter is finally up and running as Pete’s figured out how to get it purring. Meanwhile, Luke’s discussing responsible lock picking and how after 3 long years of waiting - drum roll please! - a new battery brand has finally been discovered.

Elsewhere, we get an interesting look into Luke’s own brand of childhood nostalgia with everything from neighbours arguments to cars on fire! Finally, the boys also discuss the potentially illegal relationships between all our favourite Mario characters. Join us!

Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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A Series of Unfortunate Pets

Thu, 12 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

The boys are back with more nonsense chat in one firequacker of a show! On today’s episode, Pete has difficulties with his new moped and future dreams of the Isle of Man TT, while Luke talks celebrity steeplejacks and what it takes to do such an important job.

Elsewhere, Luke teaches us how to fix a sick cat while Pete confesses to sharing his dog’s medication. And if you think that’s mad, wait until you hear what Pope Alexander VI got up to with his horses!

This week we want to hear all of your weirdest animal stories! Email in to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Pete's New 125cc Lawnmower

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 16:31:47 GMT

On today’s episode, DJ Pete and Pato Banton-turned-Luke Moore are here to start your week off right! Pete tells us all about nipple collectors before the boys discuss the aftermath of a spicy US election and wave goodbye to ‘confirmed boozophile’ Donald Trump.

Elsewhere, Luke shares the boys’ bedtime cuddling habits before reading some exciting emails: second-hand kitchens, exploding fingers, and one particularly destructive student’s school report! What were you like in school? We want to know - email us your school reports at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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An Octopus Revenge Plot

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday again, which means the boys are back for another chat full of nonsense! Pete’s revving up to tell all about his recent CBT license and his dreams of a new motorbike, while Luke shares his experience on impressing girls with mad moped skills.

We then get some vocal coaching lessons as Pete attempts to locate his inner Céline Dion. Elsewhere, after discovering the age in which people lose their passion for life, the boys search for what most matters to them. Plus, one listener shares all about a fishy supermarket fiasco involving *very* unexpected contents of a Quality Street tin.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Woolly Mammoth Lollipops

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:13:31 GMT

On today’s show, Luke and Pete are parenting - or at least attempting to - as we chat all things birth-related, with rugby players delivering babies as well as the ins and outs of umbilical cords. Also, Pete’s belly button makes a surprise guest appearance!

The boys then have a mammoth of a discussion surrounding melting glaciers, spear-throwing devices, and ditching supermarket frozen foods for preserved glacial animals. Also on the show, a storm of emails featuring head injuries, rat pits, and an Aladdin's lamp replica. All in all, prepare for an eclectic mix of utter rubbish.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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A Milky Affair

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 05:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke put on his NASA hat as he discusses the current asteroid over-probing pandemic. The boys then talk capital punishment and whether or not heinous crimes such as pooing into McDonald’s bags should carry such a penalty.

Finally, we explore airport conspiracy theories and sour cream sauce entrepreneurs. All this topped off by Luke MILKING a story of his days working in ASDA’s dairy aisle.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Has a vet ever operated on you?

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 13:35:18 GMT

On today’s episode, we hear about Luke’s pumpkin exploits and we get stuck into some special boat service chat. We also hear what’s been described as ‘the most depressing email ever’ from a listener who’s been operated on by a vet and Pete’s got some horrific admissions about what he’s been doing with superglue.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Inhaling our own toxins!

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 04:00:21 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke rinses Pete for his truly shocking dietary habits. The boys discuss the focus on black pain in various provider’s Black History Month collections. They also examine the slippery slope that is QAnon and debate what exactly drives people to believe such outlandish conspiracy theories.

Plus, Luke and Pete debate the ethics of getting pissed at work and finish strong with strange (and accurate!) taxidermy animals. And Pete wants everyone to look up gibbons. Obviously.

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J-League Batteries

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 17:05:53 GMT

On today’s show, Pete endures public shaming for his more questionable online purchases, including a realistic latex mask of an old man that did not arrive as pictured! The boys also talk the finer points of Guy Ritchie’s The Gentlemen, critique some of its shocking cockney accents and dissect Luke’s movie night ritual.

Also on the show, emails galore! One listener sparks a discussion about the exorbitant prices of dog knee surgery and there is a disconcerting amount of chat surrounding figures of authority sniffing teenagers' hands…

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Chicken satire

Thu, 15 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Doctor Donaldson and Professor Moore are here to enlighten you with more profound interrogations of the world around us. As Stan the t-rex skeleton is sold to a private collector, what are the chances he will end up at a London car boot? What is the true etymology of ‘awooga’? And why did Kim Jong-un burst into tears this week?

If the late Cretaceous period is a little before your time, the chaps revisit 90s TV classics Gladiators and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. There is also an email from a man who is allergic to his own surname. Settle in for a cracking show!

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An uncomfortable collection of twigs

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 15:49:26 GMT

Luke and Pete are back with more weird and wonderful conversation! Pete explains how he ended up concealing sixty wrestling figures in a farmer's field after a bizarre car boot shopping spree at the weekend. There are also more tales of work truancy and the pair dream up a Youtube channel for Luke’s dad that would quite simply be the most wholesome thing on the internet.

Plus, they discuss how Buster Bloodvessel came to live on a narrowboat.

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You want that sock back, mate?

Thu, 08 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete are back with a particularly poo-heavy half hour. Luke marvels at cats’ theatrics when doing their business, while Pete outlines his dog’s peculiar case of constipation. Luke tries to rescue proceedings by probing Pete’s die-hard love for steampunk.

The pair also reminisce about celebrity visitors at school, with Pete momentarily convinced that the Pope once came to Hartlepool. But one emailer recounts a far, far better cameo than that.

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Sniffer dogs are taking over

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 16:50:14 GMT

With grand piano and candelabra on hand, Luke and Pete talk pop culture divas. There’s also more chat about unnervingly effective sniffer dogs - and what exactly would Pete sniff out if he had a more powerful nose.

Pete also tells of his extremely unlucky quest for a drink and the boys discuss some more cracking dildo-themed emails.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Grand Central Terminal man cave

Thu, 01 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, Pete talks about a group of railway workers who got caught red handed making a man cave at work. Meanwhile, Luke explains why he’s reluctant to use a Kindle and we celebrate the news about dogs with the ability to detect covid.

Also on the show, we explain the concept of meat raffles and reminisce about the classic noughties documentary ‘Britain’s Toughest Pub’.

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Two old men yelling at clouds

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 14:06:19 GMT

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete are putting the fashion world to rights. Bum bags, flip flops and the new Man United kit are all being dissected this week.

We’ve also got some more on the rumour about razor blades inside waterslides and we’re hearing from a disgruntled listener who asked his girlfriend to describe him using crisp flavours.

Make sure you get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and if you missed it, go and check out last Thursday’s episode ‘The Crappening’ to hear about Jim’s plumbing disaster.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Crappening

Thu, 24 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

It’s another Jim Campbell special! We’ve got some more news on Jim’s eccentric dad and an incredible story about Extinction Rebellion protestors ‘going floppy’.

Also on this episode, Jim’s telling us about his night terrors and Luke’s indulging in some extra-terrestrial chat, which Pete usually doesn’t let anywhere near the Luke and Pete Show studio.

All that, plus a brilliant email from a pilot who lost his wedding ring AND the story we’ve all been waiting for: THE CRAPPENING! Luke actually downloaded this episode as soon as we finished recording just so he could listen to Jim tell this story again, you don’t want to miss it!

Get in touch with with your emails at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Luke and Jim Show!

Mon, 21 Sep 2020 13:33:31 GMT

It’s Jim Campbell’s long overdue debut on the Luke and Pete Show! Whilst Pete’s on holiday in an unknown destination, Jim’s filling in and you’ll be unsurprised to hear that he’s taken to talking nonsense with Luke like a duck to water.

On this episode, Luke and Jim are talking about some of their favourite childhood memories, including hearing Nirvana for the first time, going to waterparks and facing assault courses.

There’s also a brilliant email from a listener who was taught by former professional footballer and England international, Dave Thomas.

If you’ve been taught by someone of note, let us know at hello@lukeandpeteshow and don't forget to come back on Thursday for more Jim Campbell goodness.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Drinky drinky falling over person

Thu, 17 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Luke’s still in Scotland, so once again Pete had the pleasure of Chris Tilly’s company for today’s episode! The topics discussed include Chris falling over drunk, the video game character Max Payne and tardigrades.

Also on this episode, Chris and Pete have an email from an ‘anonymous illegal rave whistle blower’, there’s a new beer drinking activity to be debated and Pete tells Chris about Daniel Lambert, an 18th century man who weighed 52 stone.

Make sure you check out Chris’ podcast - Clash of the Titles - and you can follow them on Twitter @clashpod!

Get in touch with the show at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A sexed up ET

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 16:27:24 GMT

Luke’s off gallivanting in Scotland! So for today’s episode, Pete is joined by Clash of the Titles’ host: Chris Tilly.

Consequently, there's a whole load of film chat, including dodgy K-Pax merchandise, 80s action classics and weird novel adaptations.

Also on this episode, Chris and Pete chat about the time Pete ate some mystery meat sent to him by a listener and the boys also discuss a piece of Russian facial recognition software that Pete’s been using…

The emails have been flooding in! Including one from Laura, who went to extreme lengths to watch a World Cup game in 1998. Hit us up at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com to get involved!

Make sure you check out Chris’ podcast, Clash of the Titles. You can find them on Twitter at @clashpod!

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A fare skipper banged to rights

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 09:08:25 GMT

Pete’s been caught red-handed skipping train fares and Luke’s got a story about a suspicious looking sandwich being mistaken for heroin.

Also on today’s show: school nurses, a cherub getting a particularly unsavoury body graft and niche movie merchandise.

Get stuck in at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Liquid nitrogen in a Yakult

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 18:06:05 GMT

On today’s episode, we’re talking about the work of John Cage, what makes a good roast dinner and why Pete is not to be trusted with the company credit card under any circumstances.

Also on today’s show, we’ve got an email from a listener who swallowed his wedding ring and is desperately clinging to the Luke and Pete Show for guidance.

All that, as well as Clapham Junction, pregnancy tests and a church organ.

***Please rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fry us an egg, mate

Thu, 03 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome to Thursday's edition of The Luke and Pete Show. Your hosts, er, Luke and Pete obviously, are here to entertain you for half an hour or so to help you procrastinate, delay the inevitable, or see you through your commute/run. Yeah, we see you. We know exactly what you're up to.

On today's episode we take time to pay tribute to the great Chadwick Boseman after he sadly passed away over the weekend, we debate the best and worst office practices, and we hear about a novel way of frying an egg in the Arizona desert. All that and much more, including your emails on another all-new, all free Luke and Pete Show. Don't miss it!

Get in touch with us! The address is hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Breakbeat rewind

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 16:04:57 GMT

Welcome to a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Our two eponymous villains are here once again to run the rule over whatever takes their fancy on the world's least-focused podcast.

This week, Luke bought a piece of old hardware from his mate at a train station and as a result has suffered a couple of electric shocks. It's almost as if Pete is a bad influence on him. There's also talk of a rave in Thetford Forest that Pete *did not* organise despite reports to the contrary, and with the help of a listener we debate the benefits of the technology on display in the movie Aliens.

Get in touch with us! The address is hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A victim of a milky hate crime

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Today’s episode is quite the menagerie - Luke and Pete hear news on the baby gorilla born at Bristol Zoo and we talk about a Greenland shark who’s lived for almost four hundred years.

Plus, we’ve got a discussion about a Satanic peadophile death cult, Luke has some info on the Japanese credit card crisis, Pete tells a story about the Ninja Museum and we hear from a listener who got in some real trouble on his trip to Death Valley!

The emails we’re getting at the moment are top tier, keep them coming! It’s hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A few too many red flags

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 13:50:08 GMT

On perhaps the most mental Luke and Pete Show to date, there’s a nose and ear trimmer live on the show and Pete’s boasting about the A* he achieved in RE GCSE.

There’s also a whole load of Jackass nostalgia, a rant about school and an email about someone who’s been to Death Valley!

Plus, there’s an excellent neon sign which has been spotted in Cambodia and a lot of bitching about Stakhanov’s fine employees.

It’s all over the place today, just how it should be! Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not much of a sweater

Thu, 20 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

It’s a Thursday, which means another serving of nonsense from the Luke and Pete Show! This week, Pete’s playing with fire by recording semi-nude and Luke’s giving some love to Ronnie O’Sullivan. Strap in folks, it’s going to be a weird one.

Also on this episode, we hear from a concussed pilot, Pete’s squaring up to Alison Hammond and Luke reveals what he has in common with er…. Prince Andrew…?

Get stuck in at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On top of a great white shark

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 14:16:08 GMT

On today’s show we’re talking about wildlings, the woeful ending of Game of Thrones and cannibalism.

Also on this episode, Pete goes through some of the drunk texts he sent over the weekend and we hear an incredible story about an Australian man who jumped off his surf board, onto a shark.

We then read an email from a listener who’s had an unfortunate mishap with the mute button during a work meeting. Also, we hear from Hasan, whose PE teacher was a Premier League linesman.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

**Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!**

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A munch on dog food

Thu, 13 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, we talk about some strippers who performed in a very unexpected setting, a translation mishap from a brewery and something unusual someone did with their beard hair.

Later, we also hear an unfortunate childhood poo story from a listener and Pete admits he’s been known to have a nibble on dog food. Dreadful.

Send your stories and thoughts to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

**Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!**

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A free lickable treat

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 18:08:41 GMT

Pete’s been putting alcohol spray on his shoes, Luke’s been having Zoom mishaps and we’re all just too damn hot. We also talk about Toshiba, flying, wrestling and snooker!

So put your feet up, crack open a Tyskie and tuck into a double Snickers!

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

**Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!**

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bagel Heads

Thu, 06 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show, we have a chat about Jonathan Swan’s Donald Trump interview and ask what’s happened to all the planes since the coronavirus outbreak!

We also reminisce about the 90s TV show MovieWatch and hear a clip from a man who has decided that every Star Wars film has the wrong title.

AND we tuck into a load of emails from you lot, featuring one about things that only ever happen in movies and another on the Japanese ‘Bagel Head’ phenomenon!

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A fox in flip flops

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 14:20:57 GMT

Another Monday, another installment of the Luke and Pete Show! In this episode we’re talking about mosquitos, 3D printed vitamins and fire poi.

Also on today’s show, Luke reveals the time he offended Pete the most and Pete has an admission to make about the film Aliens.

If that wasn’t enough to whet your appetite, there’s also an email from an anonymous listener about a dildo and a story about a fox with a passion for fashion.

Get in involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Suspected ghost receives fine

Thu, 30 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

It’s animals all round on today’s episode, as Luke and Pete chat about crufts, foxes and The Supervet.

We’ve also got an amazing story about a man who was fined for pretending to be a ghost in a particularly insensitive location AND we’ve got an anechoic chamber update!

Also on this show, we have a chat about Dark and we hear from a listener with a rare disease.

Hit us up at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, we love reading your emails!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Power washing with Robert Pattinson

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 14:29:13 GMT

On today’s episode, we ask whether it’s okay to put cheese coleslaw in a pot noodle and whether Pete will outlive Keith Richards. The conclusion to both is the same.

We also hear about the Australian ‘bin chicken’ and we’ve got some amazing original noises from Mario 64 to play you.

And if that wasn’t enough, Pete’s got a story about a faux pas he made at a garden party on Saturday when he got a little too overexcited with a power washer.

Get in touch with us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Boxer shrimps changed my life

Thu, 23 Jul 2020 04:00:15 GMT

On this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, we’re reminiscing on some old school Glastonbury memories. Luke’s got some info on the micro economy that used to operate there in the 90s and Pete’s raging about an inflatable banana.

We’ve also got some top tier examples of young people with old people’s names, Luke’s got a heartwarming story about red kites and Pete’s giving us an update on his horrible Swarfega habits.

Today’s episode is full to brim with Sunny D, boxer shrimps and the finest Korean onions. Get it on!

We’d love to hear from you, to get in touch with the show, email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A friendship of mountains

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 11:38:58 GMT

Pete’s been in the wars with a neck injury but luckily he’s now on the road to recovery, which is why we’re bringing you an episode on a Tuesday this week. Apologies for the delay and thank you for your patience!

On today’s Luke and Pete Show, we’re talking about American sports and the art of mixing glue. We also have a new player entering the game!

What’s more, Luke’s got a surprising fact about the point furthest from the earth’s surface and Pete has a confession to make about using an unusual shower gel substitute. Warning: it’s dark.

Plus, we’ve got a shocking email from a listener who accidentally destroyed a 5,000 year old corpse. What more could you ask for?

We love hearing from you, so please do get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

**Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!**

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's too windy for my turbine

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What's the point of a wind turbine that blows over due to excess wind? Absolute rubbish. Shouldn't be allowed. We discuss that today, as well as getting the latest on our quest to learn as much as we can about glass, before going big on graverobbing and traditional funerals.

After that there's a deep dive on endangered species, with Pete being particularly concerned about the plight of the humble lemur. And, before we chip off, there's just enough time to take in some of your emails too, so don't miss that.

If you want to join the celebrated ranks of those who have sent us an email, you can do so here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A tale of many Keiths

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 15:29:40 GMT

Luke and Pete are back for another week of unplanned nonsense interspersed with your emails, and what a show we have for you today!

There's an in-depth discussion on several famous Keiths (think Richards, Floyd, Flint, Harris and Lemon), and Pete updates us all on his latest situation regarding asthma. Elsewhere there's rolled ankles, pulled hamstrings, weird toes, an anechoic chamber update, and some stuff about Buzz Lightyear. All in all, an eclectic mix of absolute rubbish. Enjoy!

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the place to get in touch. We await your correspondence with baited breath.

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Eight Crazy Frog Singles

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 04:00:10 GMT

In today’s episode, we’re reminiscing about the glory days of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, the Crazy Frog and Motorola Razrs.

We’re also debating our chances of survival in an apocalypse - would Luke’s car save him?

Plus, Pete tells us about his Dad’s recent antics on Photoshop, we hear some alarming animal facts and we learn an interesting tidbit about clocks in films from a listener!

We’d love to hear from you at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, don’t hold back!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Taking a mouse on the tube

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 14:47:25 GMT

On today’s episode we discuss a wrestler who lost his eye, the art of grave digging, and the sad passing of American actor Carl Reiner.

Also on the show, there's talk of Wetherspoons, old beers that have been sat in barrels since March and general pub antics.

Luke’s also remembering some of his mouse trap woes, we hear an interesting fact about crisp expiry dates (well, sort of interesting) and then we open the email lines to you about annoying things that happen in films but not real life!

Don't forget to get in touch with us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! Pete reads every single one of your emails!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joe Wicks vs Mr Motivator

Thu, 02 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode, we imagine who would win in a Joe Wicks vs Mr Motivator face off. Choose your fighter.

Elsewhere, we talk about face ID, magnet fishing videos and a worm that can regenerate itself over two hundred times. Plus, Luke’s purchased The Last of Us on PS4, which leads us into a big old chat about video games, as usual.

In addition to all this, we hear from a marine biologist who has been working with seals to predict the weather and a whole load of you have got in touch with your stories about golf club etiquette, which is more interesting than it sounds.

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! Don't hide your light under a bushel!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Barrels of fire

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 14:05:05 GMT

On today's LAPS, we're asking: What are the things you see happen most often in the movies that *never* happen in real life? Example: people sleeping with the curtains wide open for no reason.

Elsewhere, Pete’s had an unfortunate financial mishap, there’s a man suing Twitch for highly questionable reasons, and we’re having a chat about the mind-bending Netflix drama Dark.

Plus, Luke’s still loving his Nalgene, there’s a Twister sequel coming our way and the boys do a much needed, long overdue deep dive on Michael Flatley.

Get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What length are your socks?

Thu, 25 Jun 2020 04:00:14 GMT

Today’s Luke and Pete Show begins with a serious discussion about the likelihood of being struck by a meteorite. And when you crunch the numbers it's not actually that comforting...

We also reminisce about the Bill Paxton vehicle Twister and have a good old chat about some classic low budget horror films.

Elsewhere, Pete’s got a Netflix documentary to recommend, Luke’s giving Nirvana some love, and one of our listeners has offended everyone at the golf club.

Get involved at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dig it

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 15:51:22 GMT

On today’s episode we’re discussing how Pete's sartorial approach to visiting different countries, and remembering the heady days when emo music was still cool.

Elsewhere, have you ever thought what's doing most of the heavy lifting on a really hot or cold day? That's right, thermometers. Shout out to all the hardworking thermometers out there in Siberia, Miami and South Korea.

Finally, listen in for a particularly enjoyable story about a man who dug 33 tonnes of clay out from beneath his own house. Don't try this at (or under your own) home!

To get involved, send us your thoughts at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jordan v Donaldson

Thu, 18 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s show Luke opens up about his toenail problem, we have a crack at diagnosing what on earth is going on with Prince Charles’ hands and Pete wonders whether he could outrun Michael Jordan...

We’re also reminiscing about Big Brother and its role in the evolution of reality TV.

Plus, Metallica, rockstar riders, Bill Murray and more on The Anarchist Cookbook.

We’d love to hear from you! Get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Eating mushrooms in a public park

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 13:39:37 GMT

Today’s episode features 80s indie music, Michael Fish and Phillip Schofield. But not all at the same time.

Also on the show, Pete’s been having pints in the street (not near any statues, promise) and one listener has an amazing story about a bird’s nest.

Plus Luke introduces us to Pheasant Island and questions why weather forecasts have been more unpredictable than ever since the coronavirus outbreak.

Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete angers someone

Thu, 11 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

It’s an email special! Today we’re reading a whole load of emails from you lot, including one from a man who has had a particularly unfortunate experience in a public toilet, and one from a disgruntled gamer who has a bone to pick with Pete.

Also on today’s ep, a listener has got in touch with a list of times this show has predicted the future, we’ve got some mind boggling maths, some grievances with online quizzing, and we’re discussing the development of glass. Again.

Keep the emails rolling in at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hands off my personal allowance pouch

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 15:41:54 GMT

Welcome to another Luke and Pete Show! This episode we’re chatting about Pete’s dim sum, sharing lessons we learnt from visiting Haven holiday camps and marvelling at some of the best things astronauts have taken into space...

Also on today's show, we spend some time marvelling at 2020's Val Kilmer and despairing at Mark Zuckerburg, and we discuss the 2018 film Annihilation. Possibly for the second time, we can't quite remember.

It’s another busy Monday on The Luke and Pete Show, get stuck in!

Thursday’s going to be an email special, so keep the good stuff coming to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

**Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!**

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Theremin and Pete Show

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On today’s Luke and Pete Show, Luke’s temporarily replaced by Pete’s theremin, we’re advancing the theory on how many holes a straw has and we’re showing some love to glam rock icon Marc Bolan.

Also on today's episode we’re weighing up the merits of drive-in nightclubs (is Donny for or against?), and televised pub sports.

Plus, we hear the man who can beep like a car horn. And he can really, genuinely do it. Phenomenal.

We'd love to hear from you at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leave your facts at the door

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 14:18:38 GMT

It’s another Monday which means it’s another Luke and Pete show! Today we’re talking sun cream, paper walls and inappropriate songs.

Plus, Pete tells us about his brand new theremin, we consider the whereabouts of noughties pop band Alphabeat, and we marvel at the Chicago horseman.

Get stuck in and send us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Straw Holes?

Thu, 28 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

On this fine Thursday we’re talking about such glamorous topics as outer space, The Land of Fire and Jurassic Park.

And on a slightly less glamorous note, we’re discussing whelks, Jeremy Clarkson, and how many holes there are in a straw. When you think about it, it gets really weird.

Also on today’s episode, we get an update from the official Luke and Pete Show tarantula and we hear from a listener who found something very strange when they moved into their new house.

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The Judder Child

Mon, 25 May 2020 14:49:41 GMT

Hello! We’re delighted to bring you a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show on this fine bank holiday Monday!

On today’s show, we’re talking breakfasts, a clandestine plot involving an e-gamer and a racing driver, and the beauty of a curry. Plus Pete’s hatching a new business plan involving takeaway pints and Luke tells a story about when he first smoked a cigar.

Also coming up, we hear from a listener who had a particularly big day out in the 90s which involved consuming copious amounts of Metz, and we’ve got a hot take on doorstep nappies from a postman.

Send us your favourite examples of songs being used inappropriately, or just get in touch to say hi at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Another problem eels don’t need

Thu, 21 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday which means we’re back with a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show!

Today we’re expanding on Monday’s conversation about anechoic chambers, as well as discussing a certain substance that has been wreaking havoc for eels in the River Thames.

Luke also has another bash at quantum physics, we get excited for the Tony Hawk remaster and Pete’s got some top tips for a better night’s sleep.

Drop us a line at hello@lukeandpete.com!

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

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Doorstep surprise

Mon, 18 May 2020 14:26:37 GMT

Today’s episode features lost Deliveroo orders, a man plagued by his next door neighbour’s disgusting habit, and drag racing in electric cars. That's right, it’s another eclectic week on the Luke and Pete Show!

Also on this episode, we discuss career-ending behaviour, Jumanji and the Whittlesey Straw Bear Festival.

Plus, the email section has us reminiscing about some classic 90s drinks, and we hear from a man whose dad has gone to unspeakable lengths to avoid paying the full price for printer cartridges. It can only be described as ultimate dad behaviour.

We’d really love to hear from you, so get in touch with the show at hello@lukeandpete.com!

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Swimming inside a whale

Thu, 14 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Today’s episode begins with some admiration for legendary musician Florian Schneider who sadly passed away last week.

Elsewhere, Pete’s dreaming of building a soundless room, and he introduces us to the wonders of the YouTube channel ‘Look Mum No Computer’.

Plus, there’s some art critiquing, as we look back on the glory days of drawyourdad.com, and one of the listeners has found an Italia 90 t-shirt which has been stuck in the darkest depths of his childhood bedroom for thirty years.

All that, and The Sopranos as well. What more could you possibly want?

Keep the emails coming to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Out in space on a big string

Mon, 11 May 2020 15:13:52 GMT

On today’s show Luke and Pete are reflecting on the amazing life of Little Richard, as well as discussing a curious floating hotel and the possibility of a huge tube which could take us from Earth to outer space. Strap in for a heady mix of rock and roll and Luke’s quantum physics.

Also coming up, Pete’s being confronted for wandering the streets with bananas in his pockets and there’s the question - how much would you pay to go for a pint with Matthew McConaughey in a British pub?

Thanks to everyone who’s been getting in touch recently, we love reading your emails! Send us one if you fancy, it’s hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Quest to find the strangest person

Thu, 07 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to today's LAPS! This time around we’re talking about how Elon Musk managed to wipe $14bn off Tesla’s value with a single tweet, and Luke managing to wipe roughly the same amount off his personal brand by playing The Witcher and talking about it!

There's also accents, TOWIE, radio voices and a story about what zoo animals have been getting up to since lockdown hit.

All that, plus the boys share what they would do if they swapped bodies for the day and we’re reading an email from a listener who broke down in one of the remotest parts of the UK.

Get stuck in and fire us an email at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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It's Been's back

Mon, 04 May 2020 14:36:35 GMT

Since the lockdown started, memes have got danker, Kanye’s become a billionaire and Pete’s grown confident enough to challenge Post Malone on his drink selection. That's right, it’s another episode of The Luke and Pete Show!

Also, there's Nike tennis socks, more on the flaming tar barrels in Ottery St. Mary, some bits and pieces about Dave Grohl, and a delivery for Flat 3...

Get in touch with us hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, we always love hearing from you!

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Happy Birthday Pete!

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Pete turns 39 today! As a birthday treat, this show features an email about a red fireman’s thong, a story about a man experiencing a particularly bad midlife crisis and tales from Pete’s days working at the zoo.

Also on today’s episode, we’re talking about iPods, mountains and a man whose given himself a new tattoo every single day of the lockdown.

All that is soundtracked by D:Ream’s 90s track ‘Things Can Only Get Better’, which has apparently been blasting out all over Nottingham.

Happy Birthday Donny!

If you’ve spent your birthday in lockdown, or you just have an excellent story, tell us about it: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Dishonest master of coin

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 15:31:45 GMT

Today’s email section has been described by Luke as ‘the best week since September 2018’, which is high praise indeed. We’ve got people running through the street with flaming barrels of tar, potato guns, and the discovery and exploration of a long-neglected shed!

Also on today’s show: Rugrats, aggressive lemons, and a questionable depiction of a bunch of superheroes bowing down to some nurses. Meanwhile, Pete’s become more woke than ever and Luke’s *still* drinking from his Nalgene.

We’d love for you to get in touch, hit us up at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Pop it in your mouth

Thu, 23 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Today’s episode starts with Pete holding in a burp, and goes downhill from there...

The boys are discussing the resilience of the humble tin foil hat vs the powerful waves of 5G, plus great sporting memorabilia, skitching and yet more batteries (we’re nothing if not consistent).

Also on the show, Luke recounts treasuring a water bottle from a performer at Haven holiday camp and shockingly, Pete persuades Luke to do something unspeakable to a Nintendo Switch cartridge.

Get in touch with all your missives at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, we’d especially love to hear your lockdown tips!

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The humble pumpkin

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 14:03:26 GMT

This episode features pumpkins, cradle snatching, a violent medieval ball game and a discussion about what constitutes a real ale.

Also on today’s show, Luke’s got news on the return of the ‘last cruise ship on Earth’ and Pete’s received a DM about borrowmydoggy.com. It’s another big week for the Luke and Pete Show!

Get in touch with your lockdown strategies at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, we’d love to hear from you! Pete’s gone even more mad, so he needs all the lockdown survival tips he can get.

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Every day we're skitching

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday to you all! On today's Luke and Pete Show we discuss the chilling development that Pete might be renting a dog during lockdown, before apologising to the entire state of Illinois for forgetting about them last week. Yeah, sorry about that.

Elsewhere there's Coolish, cheese rolling and Chinese takeaways before we listen to your stories about MSN Messenger, bids to impress girls, and plenty more besides. Oh, and stick around until the end for a textbook Donaldson meltdown about, of all things, the misunderstanding of improvisation in comedy.

To email, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Rubbery Eggs

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 14:57:58 GMT

The boys are back in their barracks and Pete is fresh to the party with some wicked whispers about MailOnline and a certain pop star. Ooooh, who could it be? Tune in to find out. Elsewhere we discuss what certain movie characters should be doing to help the world during this pandemic, our general problems with photography, and Pete dishes out some much-needed cable advice. A proper public service.

To get in touch, and we'd love you to, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Whale explosions

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show where two grown men who used to sit inside talking to each other about the mundanities of life have been forced, due to the lockdown, to sit inside and talk to each other about the mundanities of life.

This time around, we hear of a listener who thought he was going to die, another listener who genuinely thought he had died, and then a handful of whales that were, in fact, unequivocally dead. There's also fake news, 5G, and the world's slowest work canteen.

Don't miss it, and make sure you contribute yourself, by emailing us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

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Spying on Tony Blackburn

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:40:49 GMT

Hello and a very happy Monday to you all! On today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show, our two eponymous antiheroes discuss the films of John Hughes, facial hair (or lack of it), and Pete tells us a story of a man who made a clay guitar.

Elsewhere there's the social impact of a certain swear word, the time Pete popped an entire bottle of champagne to himself before going to bed because he felt light-headed, and finally we hear a truly chilling tale involving an elaborate CCTV set up and Tony Blackburn. Don't worry, it's not what you think. There's the best of your stories too, so stick around for those and to get involved yourself it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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You do the meth

Thu, 02 Apr 2020 04:00:29 GMT

As promised on Monday's episode, today we share with you an adorable twitter account run by a security guard at a cowboy museum. Check it out now, before things inevitably go south. We also deliver our verdict on the hit Netflix series Tiger King, and wonder how on Earth anyone could have predicted a combination of methamphetamine and wild animals would be so explosive.

Elsewhere there's a man making essentially the same mistake twice trying to impress a girl, there's talk of the most handsome man in Japan and we field a glasses-related dilemma.

We love you. If you love us too then let us know: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A tennis sock full of Chicken McNuggets

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 14:24:42 GMT

Happy Monday! It's another day under lockdown, another day in the corps, and what could be better than listening to the latest missive from two degenerate bedroom dwellers like Luke and Pete?

This time around, the show covers the following: the role of socks in porn, the prevalence of Dadsapp chats and their content (including key jpeg compression information), classic sitcoms, the three golden rules of sitting around your house, and we hear from another man who's spent time in a beer bath.

To get in touch, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We'd love to hear from you!

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A doomsday prepper in a digital furnace

Thu, 26 Mar 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday! Another day in paradise/lockdown. As the isolation starts to take its toll, Pete spends a lot of this show talking about cables and USB devices from within his tiny recording box. In a new world order where electronics are the currency, would Pete be king?

The boys also run the rule over Gerard Butler, the perils of the sofa industry, a debate around the lending of money one night in Berlin, and finally, we hear a frankly ridiculous story about one of our listeners having a tete-a-tete with an angry sheep.

Let us know how you've tried to impress a boy/girl: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Deafened by an oil drum

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 16:24:07 GMT

Pete is back from his latest overseas sojourn and, let's be fair, he's walked right into the middle of an absolute shitshow. Soho is deserted, save for a few blokes wandering around taking photos of the deserted streets, and poor old Luke doesn't know when he's going to get to see his pal again next!

But, nevertheless, we press on regardless. Today, there's chat about online dates, a listener in Japan has found money on the floor, and a drunken couple have taken a bath in some beer. There's loads more besides, including Naked Gun, video games and stupid things we've done to impress girls.

To get involved: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Man eats phone

Thu, 19 Mar 2020 05:00:00 GMT

In this second episode of The Laura and Luke Show, Laura talks about what it's like living with an Australian man (spoiler: it appears to be pretty much *exactly* how you'd imagine), we find out what her parents really think of her, and there's a harrowing story about her mother encountering what she thought was a dead person on a flight.

We also spend quite a bit of time talking about how important it is to be domestically competent, and there's plenty of your stories as well.

To tell us about how good you are at DIY or to complete any of our ongoing homework tasks, get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A female voice

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 15:00:49 GMT

In the absence of Pete, Luke is joined by Laura Kirk of Stakhanov's Revisiting to discuss some tales in the life of Florida Man, why she likes going to the cinema alone and just what it's like living with an Andrew Flintoff obsession.

We also hear from some more listeners whose drunken shortcuts have gone awry, try to understand why cryptic crosswords are so hard and discover an entirely new type of beer situation that will probably leave you with a sore throat.

To get in touch, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, or @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter

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Do not insert the frozen potato slice

Thu, 12 Mar 2020 05:00:00 GMT

On this episode we’re discussing bull fighting, ‘dining & dashing’ and a problematic home remedy which utilises frozen sliced potatoes.

Also coming up, we’re reading some of your near death experiences, including a hazardous tale from a noughties trip to Malia and a man who, despite all the odds, survived a drunken encounter with a horse.

All that, and something about bath beers!

Do your homework and slip us a DM at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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A digested pedometer

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 12:22:53 GMT

It’s the start of the week which means a brand new episode of the Luke and Pete Show.

On today’s show, we’re talking about the coronavirus, crufts and a pig who managed to set fire to a farm in North Yorkshire, using nothing but feces and a digested pedometer.

Also on the show, Pete’s taken a trip to Southampton, Mel Brooks has a thing or two to say about The One Show and we’re considering whether or not to test the waters with explosive lithium batteries and eating uranium.

Plus we’re catching up with some of your ‘Florida man’ headlines.

It’s jam packed! Get in touch at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Return of the Hobgoblin

Thu, 05 Mar 2020 02:00:00 GMT

Back in April of 2009, three men were unceremoniously ejected from their London-based radio show and asked to never return.

Something they'd said on the airwaves? Possibly.

Or was 'the man' worried about the unwavering grassroots support (dare we say love) for the trio amongst the swell of G20 protesters that stamped past their window that spring morning? We may never know. But they're back for one last half hour of shouting and awful language.

Listen to Clash Of The Titles with Alex Zane here: http://hyperurl.co/Clashpod

And get Pete and Marc Haynes on Wrestle Me here: http://hyperurl.co/wrestleme

Slide into our DMs: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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The ex-Xfm breakfast show

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 02:00:00 GMT

Not sure where to start with this one to be honest.

If you were unlucky enough to experience the Alex Zane breakfast show between 2007 and 2009 you'll probably be on nodding terms with this nonsense, but for everyone else - Luke is away this week so it was Pete's turn to bring in some buddies.

Listen to Clash Of The Titles with Alex Zane here: http://hyperurl.co/Clashpod

And get Pete and Marc Haynes on Wrestle Me here: http://hyperurl.co/wrestleme

Slide into our DMs: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Florida Man records podcast

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

We're here to gently usher in the weekend with another episode of The Luke & Pete Show. Come on in, get the kettle on and put your feet up.

Today we take a whirlwind tour through the likes of Tyson Fury, new Netflix series The Stranger and the mad escapades of general Floridian men. Plus, ever wondered about the battery capacity of drones as they battle against the wind? We've got you covered.

Send us your homework answers and your best 'Florida Man' headlines to: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Pharaoh admin

Mon, 24 Feb 2020 12:46:25 GMT

We've got another round in The Luke and Pete Show chamber, ready to fire it at ya on this drizzly Monday.

Luke's been to the Tutankhamun exhibition this weekend, so we discuss the unrelenting admin involved in burying a pharaoh alongside a multitude of prized possessions. We also hear from Tyson Fury's spiritual coach on his LinkedIn page and a listener emails in with heartwarming tale of his baby called John.

Slide into our DMs: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.98: A grandad, a spade and an innocent heron

Thu, 20 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

It’s Thursday, which means a brand new episode of The Luke & Pete Show. Luke’s bought a new video game and Pete’s unimpressed by his choice. Meanwhile, Pete enlightens us with some rather alarming age gaps in Disney characters’ relationships.

Elsewhere, there’s some chat about a Lou Reed playlist, a new type of beer enters the conversation, and we run the rule over reality television.

We’re also talking about weird things you’ve found in your gardens, and there’s a particularly shocking story involving a grandad, a spade and an innocent heron. You probably know where that’s going...

Your homework for this week is to tell us about your most memorable encounter with a telemarketer! Hit us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.97: Freezy Slicers

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 11:49:07 GMT

Pete’s back baby! And he’s already had an undignified ride on the back of Luke’s Lime bike, an image the people of North London are unlikely to forget anytime soon.

He’s also got a present for Luke from a Japanese capsule machine and he shares some amazing tales about his trip, including a story about the Japanese tsunami of 2011, and spending some time seaweed farming.

Also on today’s show - we’re hearing about some of the things your parents hate the most about you (and yes, you can hear what Pete's Dad really thinks of him) and there’s also a discussion that ends up with Pete's body parts scattered all over London. You've been warned.

Send your very best emails to hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.96: A chat with Uncle Jez

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Jack’s stepped into Pete’s shoes once more, and has joined Luke for one final guest episode of the Luke and Pete show.

On today’s show, we’re talking Valentine’s Day plans (or lack thereof), how to get a million subscribers on Youtube and why Jack’s grandad can’t resist shouting ‘snowflake’ or ‘fake news’ at any opportunity.

There’s also some discussion surrounding the age old conundrum of what to do when faced with a blocked toilet, and Jack tells a story about accidentally shouting some expletives at an innocent old lady, after getting a little too invested in the Paranormal Activity films.

Pete’s back on Monday to rejoin the usual shenanigans. Do your homework and drop us a line at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.95: For sale, emoji trainers, never worn

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 14:36:21 GMT

With Pete still in Japan, we’re kicking off Monday with special guest Jack Dean, also known as the driving force behind ‘JaackMaate’s Happy Hour’!

Jack sat down to talk about what it’s like to be a Youtuber, why Norwich is way better than London and to justify his habit of dunking toast in his tea.

There’s also more debate to be had about the ultimate beer, as this week the rather questionable suggestion of a ‘hospital beer’, courtesy of a listener, comes under scrutiny, and there’s some serious discussion about Sunday League Football, winding up elderly relatives, and finishing Escape Rooms.

Get involved with the show: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.94: Tossed salads and folded eggs

Thu, 06 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

There's a huge scrambled eggs debate to be had in the studio today as Set Meals Sam has been criticised for his folding technique. How do *you* make scrambled eggs, let us know! And, should they be renamed 'folded eggs'?

Also available on your all-new and completely free of charge episode, we have bedtime routines, we hear of a burglary, and we also discover the *greatest* video game theme of all time, bar none. Seriously. It's so good.

To email in your homework on the last time you spoke to a stranger and why, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.93: Into The Valleys

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 14:11:32 GMT

It's Monday and it's time for a very special episode of The Luke and Pete Show! The Pete part of the equation is off gallivanting around Japan (don't worry - he sent us a voice message for the show), and so Luke is joined by one half of food podcast Set Meals, the esteemed Samuel Ashton Smith!

Luke and Sam talk the perfect burger, the perfect type of beer and get into what it was like growing up in The Valleys of Wales. They also take the time to read through some of your emails before marking your homework as well (weird things in gardens etc), so stick around for that.

To get involved, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please rate and review us on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. It means a lot and makes it easy for other people to find us. Thank you!***

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Episode 199.92: The world's best toilet

Thu, 30 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Pete has found what he believes to be the best toilet that's ever been created, a toilet so good that it can safely and easily dispatch several hundred acorns. And yes, you read that correctly.

Also on your all-new episode of today's Luke and Pete Show, we find out about a public footpath that's been re-routed due to a prevalence of naturists, we find out more about the great Bob Hawke, and then there's some chat about fracking.

We also set you some brand new homework, so don't miss that. Make sure to get your submissions into hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast- provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 199.91: One Litre Peter

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 15:35:35 GMT

Why has Pete brought a meat thermometer into the office? That's point number one on today's Luke and Pete Show agenda, swiftly followed by getting to the bottom of some graffiti that Donny partook in as a child. Naughty naughty...

Elsewhere, there's talk of Nalgene sponsoring the show (although sadly that talk is coming exclusively from Luke), and we find out the weirdest thing one of our listeners has dug up in their garden, as well as hearing about some of those sweet free DVDs you guys received when purchasing your very first DVD players.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.90: The Donny Ringer

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

If you were given one punch that was as powerful as Anthony Joshua's, how and when would you use it? That's just one of the questions Luke and Pete attempt to answer on today's episode, which also features in-studio challenges, world record attempts and yet more attic finds.

Pete also sets your this weekend's homework and you have two assignments to choose from. Special bonus LAPS points for those who take on both tasks. We can't wait to hear from you.

To send in your homework, or indeed to email us about anything, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.89: Gateshead Garden Festival

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 14:54:07 GMT

Hello and a very warm welcome to today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show, thanks for joining us! This episode we learn of someone with a fart machine at a live snooker event, and it can't have been Pete because he spent the weekend in Seville. His alibi is watertight.

Elsewhere, there's chat about what you should and shouldn't stick in the dishwasher, the 1992 World's Fair, and of course all the things you've found in your respective attics. Believe us when we say, there's some absolutely belting stuff up there.

To get in touch, hit us up here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.88: Marine Kong Karate

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Have you ever knowingly downloaded a podcast that is 30% Hairy Bikers content, 30% emails about animals killed in Canadian suburbs and 40% about The Brittas Empire? Well, you have now, and we make no apology for that. You'll never look back.

We also take the time to trawl through a load more of your missives (and bloody great they are too), and for the first time ever, set you, the listeners, some weekend homework! That's right, we want you to listen for the all-new homework section and report back to us on Monday with your findings. No excuses, now!

Come find us on Twitter @lukeandpeteshow or email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.87: Excellent trunks

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 12:44:03 GMT

There are some troubling developments reaching LAPS towers. Firstly, there have been some satanic killings in the New Forest, but secondly and arguably much more importantly Pete has been spending his Sunday night vaping. We all knew this day would come, and here it is. There's no way a man with such an interest in gadgetry could hold off forever. How troubled should you be? Listen in to find out.

Elsewhere, there's spam, The Mousetrap, moths, Knives Out and loads more, including the types of sketches Pete used to get in trouble for at school.

Come find us on Twitter @lukeandpeteshow or email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.86: Get a walnut in your bicep

Thu, 09 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Remember Mr Frosty? No-one owned one. You only ever saw them on adverts. Did they even sell them? Pete wants to know if they had a strong blade inside in order to cut up the ice. He's going to look for one on eBay.

Elsewhere we hear about a man who got a tattoo in front of someone famous but didn't realise, find out the best way to crack a nut, and run the rule over The Witcher. There's also a man who has bought more San Pellegrino than anyone else, and a few musical treats into the bargain.

Tell us how you really feel: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.85: Digging up skulls

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 12:40:52 GMT

It's the second episode of 2020, and Pete is pretty happy at the moment. He rates his happiness at an 8.0/10.0 but wants to keep an eye on it. Very sensible. If it goes below a 6.0 he's going to let us all know.

On today's episode we learn a bit more about both Pete and Luke's respective families, hear of a friend that buries dead animals in his back garden and then digs them up when they've decomposed, and marvel at the wonder of local facebook groups.

To get involved, and we'd bloody love you to, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.84: This Tarantula Needs Watching

Thu, 02 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Happy New Year! It's 2020, can you believe, so Luke and Pete take a good squizz through what is likely to happen in this, the highest year on record. There's flexible screens, space travel, tarantulas a listener perhaps didn't quite expect, and a hilarious Italian man trying to pronounce a word. Trust us when we say, his English is still far better than our Italian.

Elsewhere there's Spam, prison labour, your emails (including a frankly horrific one about a spider) and some neat sound effects too, so don't miss em.

To be involved: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.83: Bone the Meshes

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

It's that weird period between Christmas and New Year where nothing actually happens, so given that you quite literally have nothing else to do, why not treat yourself to this episode of The Luke and Pete Show?

If you do, you'll hear stories of minidisc players, lessons that can be learned from video games, lyrics courtesy of The Vandals, and a quick whizz through Pete's YouTube history. Don't worry, it's largely family friendly.

We of course take the time to read through some of your stories as well, as ever. To submit one yourself, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.82: Dad's gaming chair

Thu, 26 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

The title of this episode tells you everything you need to know about what Pete bought Stewart for Christmas, and we think he's going to be bloody happy about it.

This episode, we hear about a boiler that finally packed up after a colossal 48 years, Pete runs us through the top Hartlepudlian nightspots this Christmas (including one where you can purchase a pint for just £1.99), a man blows up his car up by accident using air freshener and there are loads, and we do mean loads, of stories about meeting Gladiators. We're building up quite the collection.

We hope you're enjoying your Boxing Day, wherever you are, and that this episode of LAPS goes well with your meals of leftovers and hard liquor.

Don't hide your light under a bushel, email us today: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.81: Tea experts in Lebanon

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

It's officially Christmas week which means that Luke and Pete are changing, well nothing at all really. It's more of the same old LAPS from the PALS, and we start by doing a deep dive on Frankie Cocozza. And we can safely say we're the only podcast anywhere in the world doing that this week.

Elsewhere, there's some talk of trains, Peaky Blinders chat, Pete's found a picture he likes of an old fashioned diving suit, and a listener emails us with a 1,400 word email about the tea drinking habits of different cultures around the world. Drink it in.

Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.80: Sausage meat and trifle

Thu, 19 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Pete's been binge watching TV shows for a comfort blanket after he's had to rein back his Chinese takeaway addiction. You cannot go on spending £50 a week on Chinese food forever, it's just not sustainable. And if you learn just one thing from today's episode make sure it's that.

There's also an airing of grievances, Masterchef chat, lifting the lid on yet more Gladiators, more time discussing Pete's Only Fools and Horses obsession, and the dangers inherent within the sausage meat scene.

Don't be pigheaded! Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.79: Radio presenter for hire

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 13:59:19 GMT

Welcome to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! As we're now firmly in the middle of the festive period, we talk Christmas parties, Christmas dinner and all sorts of other traditions into the bargain.

Elsewhere, there's wedding garb, there's DIY skills and there's sports teams using Super Mario music during games - something that should be encouraged, in our opinion.

There's plenty of your stories as well, and to get in touch and have your say it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and you can get us @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter. Ciao ciao!

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Episode 199.78: Macho Man KING Randy Savage

Thu, 12 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

It's annoying when people get things wrong, isn't it? Song lyrics, names, quotes from movies etc. Luke and Pete spend a bit of time bemoaning that (while no doubt getting loads wrong themselves), before moving on to talking about how boring celebrity chefs are which stimulates a story from Pete about Heston Blumenthal's son.

Speaking of Pete, he's been arguing with his Dad again. "What about?", we hear you cry. Well, file sizes of whatsapp attachments. Obviously.

There's Only Fools and Horses, sausage meat, 100 year old humans and lots more besides, as well as your emails too. Join us!

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com to get in touch with us, we'd love to hear from you.

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Episode 199.77: Pete's first impressions

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 14:19:55 GMT

Pete's been working with Niko Rosberg, a man with lovely soft hands, apparently. That, as is the custom for Luke and Pete, descends into a conversation about handshakes and after that we naturally sidestep into Janet Jackson, Jared Leto, The Big Breakfast (again) and The Beastie Boys. All separately, obviously.

There's plenty of chat from you guys too via your excellent emails, and if you want to send one of your own you can do so here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.76: A Sense of Community

Thu, 05 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In the last of our much-vaunted, hugely well received Hands Across The Atlantic trilogy, Luke takes Pete through yet more Vermont news, including a story that is so far up Pete's street it might as well invent its own infant chip bowl helmet.

Elsewhere, there's news from the World Sauna Championships, Pete tells us all about a £1 a night hotel, we discuss the much-maligned Disney movie Song of the South, and we find out what Pete is looking for in a neighbourhood when he eventually decides to leave Soho.

To be a bigger part of this than you are already: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.75: Black Eye Friday

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Luke's still in Vermont, but don't let that put you off. Today's episode comes in the form of an impromptu movie special, including thoughts on such titles as Big Trouble in Little China, Predator, Last Christmas and plenty more.

We also take the time to reminisce about Flavor of Love, the hugely memorable reality show featuring Flava Flav, wonder what the month of December will have in store for us all, and learn about the great northern tradition of Black Eye Friday. Stay safe, drinkers.

To get involved in this entirely foul jamboree, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.74: Parappa the Rapper

Thu, 28 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Greetings not just from London but also from The Green Mountain State! That's right, although Pete (for once) is stuck in London, Luke is coming to you live and direct from Vermont ahead of Thanksgiving week.

In a world first for The Luke and Pete Show, our two eponymous manchildren shoot the breeze while 3,317 miles apart. But don't sweat, the chat is still as electric as ever and this week includes talk about trying to be cool in front of younger people, Reebok Pumps, and Pete's inability to stop talking about Milwaukee.

There's plenty of your stories too, and to have one considered for the show yourself, drop us a line: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.73: Do you feel the power of the gladiators?

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

What's Pete's spirit animal? Another episode to brighten your Monday. Start the week with Rod Stewart's train set (sorry... model railway), Rick Stein's new food show and an explanation of the colour of eggs. Also, and we take no pleasure in saying it, but someone's been using nappies as tea towels...

Get in touch with your finest at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.72: It’s a Megalodon

Thu, 21 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Luke & Pete are back and answering life's big questions as always. Questions such as: Where can you buy the best mince pie? What happened to 90s classic The Big Breakfast? Does Megalodon exist? Everything you've ever wanted answered.

Lock in and send us your thoughts at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.71: Prince Andrew, Helsinki & Scientology

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 14:12:56 GMT

On this chilly November Monday, Luke & Pete are talking about their favourite interviews - Tom Cruise has been accused of trying to nick a packet of fags and Pete's had a boozy weekend in Helsinki. Couldn't get hold of a can of Stella for love nor money.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the place to get in touch with your thoughts. Don't be shy!

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Episode 199.70: Zimbabwe, Michigan, Milwaukee, wherever...

Thu, 14 Nov 2019 12:04:20 GMT

Luke and Pete are back in the studio together for the first time in a week or so, and after their sojourn to the US and Canada. What have they learnt? Tune in to find out...

Pete's lost his laptop, he celebrated being back in the UK by eating in Hard Rock Cafe (obviously), and the boys discover a story about a puppy with a tail on its head. How cute. Elsewhere there's talk from listeners about secret families, there's Dads being weird and there's the great British tradition of clearing out the loft.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the place to send your stories. Don't sleep on it!

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Episode 199.69: Brooklyn NYC

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Luke & Pete bring you another stateside episode, this time from Brooklyn baby!

Come along whilst we wander the streets, talking all things USA: punk bands in school buses, American sports stars and getting told off in bars.

We're be back in the studio for Thursday's episode (if Pete's escaped prison by then), so enjoy this last episode from across the pond.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is where you can hit us up with all your missives!

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Episode 199.68: 7th Avenue NYC

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 10:23:04 GMT

It's a special show today recorded on the bustling streets of New York City! Luke & Pete are jaywalking their way down 7th Avenue, talking pizza, hockey and touring.

Luke's on the hunt for lip balm, and Pete's had a run-in with a toilet... Join us!

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is where you can get in touch with all your missives!

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Episode 199.67: Saturday night's alright

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Just what are the best all time 90s Saturday night TV shows? Luke loves Big Break, Pete is a Gladiators fan, but there's loads more. Also: ever hear the one about Pete meeting Michael Barrymore? Now there's a story you don't want to miss...

On today's show we also discuss Postman Pat, people who try and sell you things in pubs, and the latest debacle involving Pete and his PC processor. There's loads more besides, so don't sleep on it!

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for all your missives!

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Episode 199.66: Wet mouth

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Which celebrities have the wettest mouths? Tune in to today's Luke and Pete Show to find out. It's a bizarre subject to discuss but Pete is really passionate about it, and so here we are. Elsewhere, we take in the best and worst budget hotels, talk about Christmas sandwiches and get an update on Eamonn Holmes.

There's also plenty of your stories too, which you can email in on hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Have a great weekend!

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Episode 199.65: Vintage gauge tools

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 14:35:10 GMT

We start today's show by discussing the best ever tweets, before turning our attention to the late, great David Bowie's opinion on the nascent internet. After that Pete wants to talk Elton John- so we do that for a bit- and then we find out about the best birthday presents passed down from father to son.

In addition to all this, Luke meets Pete's parents for the first time (a big step in any relationship) and we hear some of your stories as well, this time about the interior light in your car, 80s video games and lots more.

To get in touch, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.64: Man with ferret

Thu, 24 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Here are the notes that Luke took from this episode with the apparent hope of writing a synopsis about it:

'Eyebrows', 'tabloid newspapers', 'ferret', 'Breaking Bad', 'hair cuts', and 'memes'.

Make of that what you will. There's a vague memory of a metal band doing a Billy Ocean cover as well, but to be honest the ol' synapses aren't what they were so bear with us.

Get at us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.63: Postman Pat redux

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 12:29:58 GMT

We're back, back from outer space, we just walked in and saw you sat there with that look upon your face. This time around we take the time to critique the new-look Postman Pat, and then riff quite a bit on eggs. There's chat about Sheffield, there's Philip Pullman, and then there's also a bit about soundtracks to TV shows.

We also do our bit to air your views as well, so stick around for that.

To email us, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We look forward to hearing from you! Have a great week!

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Episode 199.62: Cast iron conversation

Thu, 17 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday, guys! Great to see you all back here for another dose of your bi-weekly Luke and Pete Show. We're almost at the weekend, so what better way to celebrate than to talk about Alexey Leonov, snooker, the best way to build your own computer and the things that people always say without thinking about it.

There's also your emails too, and this time around they include cast iron skillet tossing. What more needs to be said?

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the place for all your missives. Treat us.

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Episode 199.61: Don't be a tit

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 12:23:11 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show universe, an environment in which opinions can be expressed freely, secrets can be kept, and Pete Donaldson's lessons for living a good life can be heard in full.

This time around it's TV shows, how to disguise a cat as a dog, gravy and much, much more.

There's also a top tip from a listener on how to commit a murder legally, but Luke and Pete aren't convinced of the veracity of the claim. To have your say on that, or indeed anything else, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.60: Spooky Siri

Thu, 10 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show! Happy Thursday! Before we head off on the latest leg of our theatre tour with Football Ramble Live (tickets at http://ramblelive.com), we take time to hear of a man who got upset that he failed his driving test and so sped off before anyone could stop him, we find out if cryptocurrency can turn you gay (clue: it can't), and we welcome the return of the great Chris Morris.

There's your emails too, including one about the inner machinations of Amazon Alexa which is not to be missed. Are 'they' listening in to us? You bet your butts they are. Frightening.

For emails, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.59: Serotonin poppadom

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 12:21:36 GMT

This episode of The Luke and Pete Show begins with chat about a recent visit to Northampton to experience their intriguing town centre (Cash Converters, vaping shops, covered markets etc) and continues on with a diversity of subjects, including man caves, Pete's various ailments, the US Embassy and much, much more.

There's also your emails and stories too, as ever, including one this time about the naming of exoplanets. Fascinating stuff to two ignoramuses like us. Enjoyable!

To get involved: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.58: A cannibal that doesn't exist

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

It's been a while but on today's show we delve back into the conspiracy theory/apocryphal tale arena, thanks to an over-exuberant listener who may or may not be old enough to know better. Bless.

On safer territory, there's the World Stone Skimming Championship and Pete possibly being the most bored Luke has ever seen him. We also discuss the rules of a duel (seconds out!), some stuff on boxing (seconds out again!), we hear from the great Fred Trueman, and then get into a chat with the lesser-spotted Pilot Claud! Yep, there's another one in our ranks! We'll have enough for our own air force soon...

To out yourself as a pilot, a cannibal, a world-class stone skimmer or anything else for that matter, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.57: A little bit of the bubbly!

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 13:10:31 GMT

How do you sleep? Pete wishes he could just take his arms off. It would make the whole ordeal easier. One thing that would definitely make life more entertaining is having Samuel L Jackson voicing your Alexa - something that is now actually possible thanks to our overlords at Amazon, so we discuss that as well.

Elsewhere there's talk of testicles, Michael Gove's demeanour, and the ways and means of making KFC gravy— which is not for the faint hearted, believe us. Probably won't stop either of us eating it, mind.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.56: Dog professor

Thu, 26 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Luke's been to Churchill War Rooms and Pete's been to McDonald's. Both places include technology of interest, one related to the safety and survival of millions of people in a war and one to get Chicken McNuggets to people more effectively.

On today's LAPS there's chemicals with funny names, dinosaurs separated by millions of years, a man from Hartlepool breaking into abandoned buildings with 'mixed' results, and lots more. Don't sleep on it.

To send us a subject for rumination and comment: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.55: Black pudding volcano

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 14:40:03 GMT

In seismic news, not just for the LAPS community but the UK cultural scene at large, the members of seminal pop-punk band One Eyed Willy reformed for one night only to see Less Than Jake at the O2 Academy Birmingham. Founding member Pete Donaldson explains all.

Elsewhere, there's the usual mixture of bull semen, AirBnB stories, full English breakfasts, UFOs and loads more. You know the drill by now.

To complain or suggest things to make the show better: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.54: Scallops at a minimum

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

A bit of a meme special this one as we contemplate what Pete would do to maximise his revenue should he become a meme. There's talk of a meme refuge, appearances on chat shows, reaching out to other meme victims, the lot.

In other news we cover subjects including cat's urine, drone warfare, Dave Grohl and Rick Astley. This show is nothing if not diverse.

Have a great weekend. See ya next time!

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.53: Luke and Pete Con

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 11:00:11 GMT

Hello and welcome to today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show, with your hosts Pete Donaldson and Luke Moore. On this edition of the show literally no-one is talking about, we hear of a man who invited a clown along to his redundancy meeting, wonder about the latest unfortunate incident befalling Jeremy Renner, and discuss our respective presences on Reddit.

Elsewhere, there's the Peaky Blinders Festival which has annoyed Pete for some reason, and we hear about your stories from over the last week via the medium of email, at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Go tell it to the mountain!

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Episode 199.52: Having a tab on the toilet

Thu, 12 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

We can't believe it's taken this amount of episodes but finally we get around to the conversations we had about sex education when we were kids, and as you'd probably expect there are a few startling revelations from Pete Donaldson involving his Dad and his friend's Dad.

We also find time on today's episode to laud John Cleese despite his problems, Pete gets very confused about the lyrics to a Lisa Stansfield song and we also read through plenty of your emails. Business as usual, really. But hey, it's what you all know and love so let's roll with it.

To get in touch with your own sex education stories, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.51: A pipe of Pringles

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 10:51:22 GMT

Welcome back to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, it's lovely to have you with us. This time around, we talk a lot about the hierarchy of the bad guys in Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Pete gets confused about Doctor Who and then we all get confused by the appeal of Jeremy Renner.

Elsewhere there's dogs eating things (again), more tea chat, and Pete deviates from his tried and trusted succulent Chinese meal with disastrous consequences. You have been warned.

To tell us what you think about Jeremy Renner, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199.5: I'm a little teapot

Thu, 05 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

That's right, episode 199.5, not 200. 200 is on its way at some point but Pete won't let it pass without a fanfare and so we've recorded episode 199.5 instead. Expect plenty of talk about the pope getting stuck in a lift, a huge amount of correspondence about tea (British people are so predictable) and a retelling of a classic joke.

Elsewhere, a listener gets in touch claiming to know someone with both Luke and Pete's names, we hear from plenty of Euans/Ewans and we hear from a medical professional regarding testicles. Don't miss it.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 199: Trapped on an island

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 13:01:50 GMT

Luke's spent the weekend in a field with some pals, drinking cider. It's like being 15 all over again. Meanwhile Pete has got a huge issue with educational programming, particularly that one where they all get naked.

Pilot Gav has also been in touch and weighed in on the UFO debate- giving more power to Pete's elbow- and we hear of a group of people stranded on the Isles of Scilly after a ferry broke down.

To send us an email, hit us up here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 198: Off with their heads

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Everyone's stealing this week. Whether it's sand, heads from a tourist attraction or something else, it feels like everyone is at it. Hell in a handcart, we're sure you agree.

In other news, there's chat from Pete about Silk Road, there's chat from our listeners about how not to make a cup of tea, and a poor chap gets in touch about his testicular surgery. In addition to all of this we also get stuck right in to some basement waterproofing chat, so stick around for that.

Something to get off your chest? It's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 197: 10,000 hours of solitude

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 11:52:32 GMT

How did it take us until episode 197 to mention that cornflakes were invented by a man on a mission to stop masturbation? Pete claims to have known about it all along, but we're pretty sure it's never been a topic of discussion on LAPS.

Elsewhere, there are more UFO sightings as the phenomena reaches epidemic proportions among our listenership, despite Pete having absolutely none of it. There's also allegations of space fraud, a debunking of the 10,000 hours myth and a quest to find out for certain how many Euans are listening.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 196: Burying elephants

Thu, 22 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

What do they do with zoo elephants after they've died? Pete thinks he has the answer, but Luke isn't convinced. What Luke is convinced about though is the hilarious nature of Pete's gaming chair, something he feels may be putting off prospective romantic partners due to the cache of chilli beef that's fallen down the sides. Disgusting.

On the listener front, we hear from another man who thinks he's seen a UFO, we hear of someone who almost had a disastrous experience with a surgeon, and there's also room for a burgeoning new topic - strange things confiscated by teachers.

Oh, and if you see a wedding cake on your travels, don't put your face in it. You'll understand why after listening...

Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 195: Vinegar strokes

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 12:32:12 GMT

It's Luke and Pete Show time here at Stakhanov, and on this damp and dreary Monday we try and brighten things up with a good old fashioned, healthy look at all the things that have interested us across these past few days.

Expect UFOs, Japanese mascots, Mindhunter, and Luke having his hair accidentally doused in a foreign liquid when he least expected it. Elsewhere, there's Pete's trumps, a quick chat about The Killers and plenty more. Preach!

Email us! Go on, ya know you want to: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 194: Is that a real man?

Thu, 15 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

If you're have a tough old week at work, don't worry, you're nearly there now. It's Thursday, and Luke and Pete have got your back for another half an hour or so. Kick back and relax listening to tales of a dolphin playing keepie-ups with a jellyfish, the price Pete would want for his different body parts, and the week our two eponymous heroes spent in bed together in Johannesburg back in 2010.

And if that isn't enough to whet your whistle, we also hear of a man currently working inside the Department for Exiting the European Union. Could it be time for another episode of Wicked Whispers? Stay tuned to find out...

Our email address, should you need it to lift the lid on a scandal: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 193: This could be anywhere

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 13:10:06 GMT

Happy Monday and a warm welcome to The Luke and Pete Show, it's very nice to see you! Pete's been to Rotterdam for the weekend and has been very impressed by the architecture. Luke isn't sure how much Pete actually saw of it (boozing), but is happy he had a nice time.

In other news we discuss ungratefulness, how important sorbet is to Pete, radio phone-ins, and we also hear from a man working in the frankly enjoyable trade of waterproofing basements. The stories he must have to tell. The mind boggles.

To get in touch about your basement, or anything else for that matter, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 192: Return of the mercury maze

Thu, 08 Aug 2019 12:20:46 GMT

Welcome to your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, in which we talk about possibly the most diverse range of subjects ever. From fridge dumping and courgettes to foreskin removal and UFOs, and just about everything else in between.

Meanwhile, Pete crosses the line when talking about masturbation, but Luke gets his own back on Pete regarding the now infamous mercury maze. And, in some absolutely stunning news, Pete announces that he's thinking about abandoning the use of thermal paste in his PC/machine/rig. Staggering.

To get in touch about alien abductions, UFOs, thermal paste etc: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 191: A bin bag of bees

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 11:57:35 GMT

If you had the chance to incorporate a long egg into a recipe why wouldn't you? Luke and Pete find themselves incredulously discussing why a celebrity chef wouldn't take the opportunity.

Elsewhere there's a rather unorthodox approach to removing a swarm of bees from a house, a police chief being tasered, and news on what the baby from the David Bowie film Labyrinth is now up to, 35 years on.

And, to tell us what you think of a man working as a Michael Keaton lookalike or indeed anything else for that matter, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 190: Technically speaking

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 16:40:48 GMT

A very good evening from Luke and Pete towers. Apologies for lateness with this one, Luke uttered the word ‘technically’ and everything went ever-so-wonky…so the second half of Thursday’s little boi is a little best-of.

It’s still good, though.

Haway, don’t slag us off, we’re doing our best.

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Episode 189: Fighting on cruise ships

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 11:58:52 GMT

Happy Monday! This time on your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, Luke's been to the Lake District, and Pete has been out for a drink with his friend and his friend's cobbler. Yes, really. We're not sure what to make of that either.

Elsewhere, there's wasp stings, talk of a huge brawl started by a clown on a cruise ship, and lots of animals being naughty. We also answer a question from a listener who is getting a load of hassle from his neighbours. And, before we pop off, there's a chance to hear from someone who had a similar experience to Pete in a naked spa.

LEEEEEROY JENKINS!

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Episode 188: Taco Bell with your mam

Thu, 25 Jul 2019 10:27:25 GMT

FIRE IN THE BOOTH! It's the hottest day of the year, but just when you thought it couldn't get any hotter, here come Luke and Pete with some fresh #realtalk, so hush your gums, open your ear lids and enjoy.

This time they're talking vasectomies, otters being disgraceful shits, outright quackery from people purporting to be medical professionals, and pink, yes pink, sheep. There's loads more besides, so make sure you give it a listen and then tell all your friends because we didn't sit in a studio in 45C heat for nothing thanks very much.

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Episode 187: On the dhole

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

50 years ago last weekend, Apollo 11 touched down on the lunar surface and the men within it made history. Luke and Pete take some time to celebrate that before Pete then takes it down a 'plane crash videos on youtube' angle, predictably.

After that, a listener gets in touch referencing an animal Luke had never heard of before, another listener blows our minds with a theory about Bryan Adams, and Pete refuses to accept the existence of one of the finest 80s toys - the fabled Mercury Maze. Luke had one ok? Deal with it.

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Episode 186: Spicy Richard

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Pete's been hobnobbing with celebrities again, this time around it's The Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan, Primal Scream's Bobby Gillespie, and Bagel Man. Elsewhere, we hear more tales of school injustice, try to work out what went wrong with Judy Finnegan's wardrobe malfunction at the Brit Awards in 2000, and then recount a chilling tale about quicksand just a few miles from where Luke grew up. Terrifying.

As ever, there's loads more besides, so strap your headphones on, block out half an hour in your diary and enjoy. And to get in on this swindle, hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 185: Feel the Bern

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 11:12:47 GMT

We would like to cordially and warmly invite you to the latest episode of The Luke and Pete Show, half an hour in which we discuss Serena Williams, Megan Rapinoe, and Bernie Sanders (a man who Pete, to be absolutely fair to him, does a pretty good impression of), before heading in a different direction to take in the world of statistics, synaesthesia, and sharks.

There's plenty from you guys as well, so stick around for some of the finest tales from the most dedicated and loyal fanbase a podcast has ever seen. We salute you!

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 184: Stories from an onsen

Thu, 11 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

This episode of The Luke and Pete Show involves a story from Pete Donaldson which beggars belief, and it involves a child at an onsen. An onsen is a hot spring in Japan. Trust us when we say it is remarkable.

Listen out for that, but also listen out for a great email from a listener on the subject of wedding photos, some stuff about scientific discoveries, an interesting theory about the link between high altitude living and suicide and, if that gets too heavy, a story about a swan getting stuck into a man's knackers.

Info dump on us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 183: Otterly ridiculous

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

In which we lament the passing of Eddie the Sea Otter, talk about the nature of time, wonder what's going on with the Stranger Things kids, and try to put together a comprehensive list of animals that have been known to masturbate.

There's also something about Quentin Tarantino, but to be honest my notes for this episode are a bit threadbare because Pete wouldn't stop talking about bonobos and it was distracting me. We read a few emails as well though, I know that much.

To send us an aforementioned email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 182: Back with a Boston Crab

Thu, 04 Jul 2019 12:23:13 GMT

After an extended break involving several 'best of' episodes, Pete and Luke are back in the studio and talking through all your old favourites, as well as some new stories besides.

This time around we go over Pete's experiences in Japan (clue: it involved a lot of rain), hear about an amazing loophole in the law preventing driving solo in the car pool lane, and marvel at Pete finding himself on the end of a savage wrestling move at school.

Elsewhere, there's a listener experiencing a disgraceful injustice, big talk about geoblocking of video content, and hot tubs on tour. That'll make sense when you actually listen...

To get in touch, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 181: Back in a bath of Bannatyne

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 01:00:00 GMT

Pete and Luke return with their final summer best of. They'll be back this Thursday with more daft nonsense. In this special, Luke submerges himself in a bath of Bannatyne, and a man eats some seriously old scran.

Have you ever eaten anything really old? Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 180: The molasses against the classes

Thu, 27 Jun 2019 01:00:00 GMT

Pete and Luke are taking a break for one solitary week (and one normal-sized day) this summer, so Pete's got his razor blade out and sliced up a cheeky little special.

Warning: contains Stewart Donaldson, unleashed and in your ears.

Have you ever been chased with by a man with a machete? Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 179: Dear sons and daughters of hungry bum ghosts

Mon, 24 Jun 2019 01:00:00 GMT

Pete and Luke are taking a break for one solitary week (and one normal-sized day) this summer, so the former has cobbled together a special look back at the first summer of the Luke and Pete show. Don't worry, there's a brand new email about drugs and vultures in the bag too, so don't make that face.

Elsewhere there's Japanese yokai and Buzz Aldrin making a reappearance.

To tell us how drugs have affected your vulture, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 178: Do those sharks bite?

Thu, 20 Jun 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Lock picking. Fuelling cyclists. Bone conductors. Just three things you better prepare yourself for when you hit play on today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show.

We also take in a truly incredible story about an ill-fated trip to an aquarium, hear yet more of your kebab-related stories, and Pete tells us about his favourite restaurant in Japan. Unsurprising hint: it sounds absolutely appalling.

For this and loads more on your 178th instalment of the world's most untethered podcast, you know what to do. And if you have any opinions of your own, we'd love to hear them: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Episode 177: A mate called Fraggle

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 04:00:00 GMT

This is an episode of firsts for Mr Pete Donaldson. Within it, we hear of the first time his Dad left him adult-less with only a friend called Fraggle for company, the first time he rode a bike, and, more disturbingly, the first time he realised that elephants have huge breasts. And yes, you read that correctly.

There's also time to take in a truly remarkable story about a search party, some further chat about kebabs, and yet more dolphin anatomy. We apologise in advance for that last one. Some things just run and run.

hello@thelukeandpeteshow.com for all your good stuff.

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Episode 176: A Tunnock's celebration

Thu, 13 Jun 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Hello everyone! We're back, and celebrating Boyd Tunnock's knighthood. Richly deserved for a great man who's made a fantastic contribution to society (and Luke's waistline), we're sure you agree.

Elsewhere, we find out why the Queen has two birthdays, hear of a man who walks everywhere backwards, debate self-driving cars again, and talk business class on transatlantic flights. There's also plenty of your stories too so listen out for them, and to send in a story of your own, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Olé!

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Episode 175: Wedding swelling

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 17:02:21 GMT

Hello there, nice to see you. This time around on your hot-off-the-press Luke and Pete Show, Luke's been to the Deep South and has come back as brown as a berry, Tom Cruise has had a gauntlet laid down to him by Justin Bieber, and we have a man who has suffered an unfortunate event just before his wedding.

Elsewhere there's prosecco with watch batteries in it, Disney chat, and another story about The Levellers (at least we hope you haven't heard that one before...)

All the very best, we'll see you on Thursday! Hit us up on hello@lukeandpeteshow.com in the meantime.

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Episode 174: Vegan power

Thu, 06 Jun 2019 10:00:00 GMT

Hear the one about the vegan man who turned meat-eater? It's not gone down terribly well, as you can probably imagine. We discuss that on today's episode and lots more - some new kids games are brought to the table including the legendary Kerby, we get a Muswell Hill Hostelries update, and we chat about Quentin Tarantino.

There's also some Richard Ashcroft debate, and the recommending of another podcast in the Radio Stakhanov stable, the excellent Set Meals. Don't sleep on it.

Got something to get off your chest? Hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 173: Kebab shop etiquette

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 10:00:00 GMT

What's it like to live off-grid for nearly 80 years? And could Pete Donaldson do it? Just two of the things we're investigating on today's episode, along with a man who went the extra mile to ensure his children always enjoyed their birthdays, and an impromptu edition of Kids Say The Funniest/Creepiest Things.

Elsewhere there's a lot of kebab shop chat, including Pete predictably trying to order an off menu item. How very on-brand...

To tell us about your kebab shop order, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 172: Soft water and quicksand

Thu, 30 May 2019 10:00:43 GMT

Good morning and a very warm welcome to your latest instalment of The Luke and Pete Show. To take you through to the end of the working week, the two chaps are handing out their usual anecdotes and listener stories, which this week include an encounter with the Royal Family, a beluga whale update, and a woman with very dry eyes.

There's lots more besides, so get your download on! To get in touch, as ever, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 171: Puffer fish drugs

Mon, 27 May 2019 10:00:00 GMT

How would you like to be disposed of when you're dead? That's the Alan Partridge-esque question the chaps attempt to answer on this, your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show. And, in addition to that, we hear from a man who is descended from a great reservoir founder, we discuss animals getting high, and get some insight into the current situation regarding Julian Assange, There.

There's loads more of your emails as well, so make sure you stick around for that.

See ya on Thursday!

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 170: Endings

Thu, 23 May 2019 14:43:46 GMT

This time around on what the kids are affectionately called 'LAPS', we hear of a bunch of school kids that got to spend their time hanging out at a theme park rather doing exams, we hear of a plastic poo practical joke that went horribly wrong, and we also hear what Pete thinks about darts.

Elsewhere there's a discussion about how to end a successful TV or video game project, a few good pointers on the difference between Patsy Palmer and Patsy Kensit, and Luke's been to Santorini.

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Chin chin!

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Episode 169: A Townshend warning

Mon, 20 May 2019 10:00:00 GMT

Is Pete Donaldson the Champagne Papi of podcasting? Answers on an email. And if not, what is he?

This time around on The Luke and Pete Show, despite proclaiming himself to be the Drake of the podcast game Pete announces he spent almost an entire weekend in Cardiff Wetherspoons a few weeks ago which, however you slice it, has to be seen as rascal behaviour.

Speaking of rascal behaviour, we also take the time to run the rule over Pete Townshend, hear about a nice little wager between two of Hollywood's biggest and best known stars, and hear about a giant Scottish man. Don't sleep on it.

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Episode 168: That pigeon will not hang

Thu, 16 May 2019 10:00:00 GMT

Thursday's child doesn't have that far to go guys because it's almost the weekend. Allow Luke and Pete to guide you there with chat about reservoirs full of bromide, a chance encounter with a gameshow stalwart, and news of Pete's new favourite sketch show.

And if that isn't enough, there's celebrity crushes, a stunning piece of trivia about eider down and an impassioned retrospective of some of Jarvis Cocker's finest work, courtesy of young Peter. Wrapped up in all that are of course the best of this week's listener correspondence, and to get involved yourself it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Episode 167: Intercom games

Mon, 13 May 2019 14:57:07 GMT

Luke and Pete muster back in the studio for another audio missive, delivered fresh to your ears like a new piercing from Claire's Accessories (are they still around?). There's a Peter the Dolphin update, a touching gift for Peter from Luke, and some, dare we say, quite good Louis Theroux impressions.

Elsewhere, we talk a bit about TV shows and Bryan Adams before hearing about something quite chilling that's manifested itself on Pete's intercom at home.

To continue the recent run of frankly excellent emails we've been receiving of late, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 166: Queen cubicle

Thu, 09 May 2019 14:40:49 GMT

We're back and ready to bother you within an inch of your lives with 30 more minutes of premier nonsense. This time around, we pass comment on the new royal arrival before Pete chats about someone encountering the actual Queen in a toilet, and there's an absolutely ludicrous amount of emails about brands of cheap cider.

Elsewhere Luke takes Pete to task quite literally by setting him a quiz about urban myths, and after that there's a showstopper of a story about a woman trying to teach a dolphin to speak.

Don't miss it, and also while you're at it, email us before the well runs dry! We'd love to hear from you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 165: What is your location?

Mon, 06 May 2019 12:57:50 GMT

Hi all! It's a bank holiday but that doesn't mean the hustle stops for your two eponymous heroes. No sir. Luke and Pete are back in the studio and discussing, among other things, a row they had this morning, how radio schedules are populated at Christmas, and what it's like in a hot air balloon.

Elsewhere, there's an ingenious new system invented for how to tell someone your location, we hear of another school trip gone badly wrong, The Elephant Man, and plenty more.

*** THERE IS A SMALL GAME OF THRONES SPOILER IN THIS EPISODE ***

To get in touch, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 164: Irn Bru bars and bustrains

Thu, 02 May 2019 16:06:56 GMT

Yes, that's right, BUSTRAINS. Listen in to find out more, but rest assured that it's not a typo. Also featured in this all-new episode, a beluga whale has been spotted wearing a harness and so is obviously some sort of cetacea spy, but how intelligent are whales and dolphins *really*? Listen to two completely unqualified men to find out.

Elsewhere, we discuss people being abused at the London Marathon, the technical proficiency of Game of Thrones (don't worry, no spoilers), British awkwardness yet again, and plenty more from you, our valued listeners.

Don't miss it, you'll regret it.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the destination for all your missives! We'd love to hear from you.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 163: Paulo the Heartbreaker

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 16:47:57 GMT

Luke and Pete are back from Lisbon, and quickly warm up into telling some tales of their experiences there. There's also chat about watching movies when we were underage, Pete introduces us to the weird world of Lasagne Cat, and we marvel and wonder at the point of hotel safes.

For your part, you guys wade in with emails about Pete's attractiveness, an awful handshake scenario, and plenty more besides. See you on Thursday for more of this guff!

To make a contribution on any of this stuff, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 162: Sid the racist neighbour

Thu, 25 Apr 2019 15:57:28 GMT

Want to know what you can expect on this, the latest episode of The Luke and The Peter Show? Well, I'll tell ya: Abbey Road, racist neighbours, baseball, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, perverted tree surgeons and much, much more. What's not to like?

In addition to all this, there's national treasures and yes we know we've done that before but it's a fresh take, and we hear from a man who has been frankly disrespected in his place of work. Nasty.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 161: A walrus in free fall

Mon, 22 Apr 2019 13:00:00 GMT

Hello all! We know you're probably not commuting today as it's Easter Monday but don't let that stop you listening to the latest instalment of this fine podcast. You don't get to the dizzying heights of 188 in the UK podcast comedy charts for nowt, you know.

This time, Pete's received a towel through the post and he's not sure why, we reopen the great B'n'B v Airbnb debate, and there's a close run encounter with a polar bear (on TV that is, we live in London for goodness' sake). Elsewhere, the guys consider going metal detecting together, establish the best way of making cheese on toast, and then run through some of your emails.

Have a great week! We'll see you on Thursday.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 160: Hands off my Tabasco

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:30:29 GMT

What a lovely day it is outside (if you're living in the London area)! But don't let that stop you downloading and listening to this, the 160th edition of our collective midlife crisis. Perhaps stick it on while you're having a lovely walk around the park.

The subjects that feature in this episode include but are not limited to: flies, The Peckham Terminator, The People's Republic of Fuseland (a nation invented by one of our listeners), beards and free alcohol or a lack of it.

To tell us about your amazing life, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 159: Superglue your hands together

Mon, 15 Apr 2019 16:48:30 GMT

Happy Monday y'all! The terrible two are back! On the agenda today: Stewie D's weekend in The Big Smoke and his unorthodox moisturising technique, a man that's sued his family for destroying his porn collection, and Pete's guide to tech, wires and storage. Those items are all unrelated, by the way.

We also take the time to appreciate Tiger Woods' recent achievement in winning the Masters a colossal 22 years after his first victory, and take in emails on imaginary childhood games, more dogs in school and much, much more.

Don't be a stranger: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Ciao ciao!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 158: Locked out by your Dad

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 15:08:04 GMT

They said it wasn't possible, but our 158th instalment of this vanity project has landed, and GOODNESS ME it's a doozy! There's bees in a woman's eye, the first ever photo of a black hole, Julian Assange vacating the Ecuadorian embassy, and a bit closer to home, Pete has been locked out of his flat by his own Dad.

Elsewhere a teacher gets in touch about a dog in his classroom, we cover Take That and their alleged crimes, and a man from Norway gets in touch with a few complaints. Fair enough.

To come at us, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we're @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 157: A Morph-less London Marathon

Mon, 08 Apr 2019 15:31:14 GMT

Greetings all, we're back on this drizzly Monday to offer you half an hour more content to help pass your commute/gym session/run/whatever it is you do while listening to us. In fact, what *do* you do while listening? Let us know.

Our resident doctor gets back in touch to answer Pete's medical questions, both Luke and Pete talk about their exploits with fake poo purchased from the joke shop, and then Pete announces he's incurred the wrath of the online alt-right brigade somehow. All in a day's work for Hartlepool's third most famous man (Jeff Stelling, the mayor who dressed up as Hangus the Monkey).

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we're @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 156: Toenail removal

Thu, 04 Apr 2019 15:27:53 GMT

Hello everyone and a very warm welcome to this, your latest episode of The Luke and Pete Show! You're very welcome! Come in and make yourself at home.

On this occasion we cover a plethora of different subjects, including but not limited to, celebrity spots, Pete's Dad's obsession with comedian Rich Hall, dining etiquette, international carrot day, and having one's toenail removed.

And if you can't find something to enjoy in that little lot, God help ya!

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com and @lukeandpeteshow

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 155: A dog in the playground

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 15:08:50 GMT

Welcome back to your all-new shiny episode of The Luke and Pete Show. Spring has sprung, so what better way to get out there and enjoy the sunshine than to pop this episode in your headphones? Don't answer that. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

This time around, there's talk about foreign food when we were growing up, there's a bit on April Fool's Day, a truly baffling Tom Hiddleston advert, a wonderfully boring school trip, and lots, lots more.

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we're @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter. Come and say hello!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 154: Pete Donaldson lorry attack

Thu, 28 Mar 2019 16:32:47 GMT

Episode 154: Pete Donaldson lorry attack

Welcome one and all, we're back in the studio and this time around dishing out red-hot chat on a variety of wide-ranging and different subjects, from webcam security to Zach Braff losing his temper, and from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Pete almost getting run over.

In addition to that of course, as is the custom, we hear from you the listener as well. In this episode we take into account the sheer size of Comanche country back in the Old West, a phobia that no-one, and we do mean no-one, has ever heard of before, and a very gruesome exhibit at a theme park.

Oh, and it's Mother's Day on Sunday, so don't forget to call your dear old mum. She misses you.

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the destination for all your missives. We're ready and waiting.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 153: Spring has sprung!

Mon, 25 Mar 2019 12:50:31 GMT

Luke's parents' tortoise has proven beyond all reasonable doubt that spring is now well and truly in the air, and on that happy note we get into this episode of The Luke and Pete Show. This time around there's chat about Jordan Peele's new movie Us, a theatre production of A Few Good Men, and of course a few of your emails too.

Pete also finds time to inform us all at what point he turned from Straight Edge into the boozer he is today, and bizarrely it involves 90s indie band Gay Dad.

To get in touch and have one of your stories read out, hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 152: MOTs make me cry

Thu, 21 Mar 2019 11:41:29 GMT

Howdy! On your brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, you can expect to hear tales of plastic wrap, stockpiling food for Brexit, Pete openly weeping at the fate of machinery, and what we all look for in bums.

Also, there's plenty of pigeon chat, Bernie Slaven gets another mention in his campaign for President, a campaign that's gaining momentum by the way, and we also take the time to appreciate the return of the excellent Derry Girls.

There's loads more besides, including of course you beautiful listeners and your excellent contributions! Rejoice!

To get in touch, hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we'll see you on Monday. Have a great weekend.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 151: Bernie vs Bernie

Mon, 18 Mar 2019 12:50:53 GMT

A new pilot has entered the game! Pilot Dave brings The Luke and Pete Show squadron up to three pilots, and all we need now is a handful of planes and we're away. Also available on this, your all-new episode: old people, the Japanese language, The Kid Who Would Be King, iron lungs, and teeth.

We also hear from a weather chaser, Pete gets stuck into his own teeth, and we exclusively reveal Bernie Sanders' running mate for the 2020 US Presidential Election. Clue: he's from Middlesbrough.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 150: A little propeller

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 14:19:08 GMT

Hello everyone, and welcome to the 150th instalment of this, The Luke and Pete Show (formerly known as Luke and Pete's Summer)! We're bloody grateful to have you along. This time around there's Prince's shoes, Daniel Radcliffe, the beauty of/problems with cassette tapes, one of the most interesting phobias we've ever heard, and lots, lots more.

Lots more like Pilot Gav getting back in touch, Eddie Stobart's policy of naming their vehicles, and how storms are named. All this and more, brought to you by Storm Luke and Storm Pete. Don't miss it. Have a great weekend and we'll see you on Monday!

Hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 149: Undercut Boulevard

Mon, 11 Mar 2019 12:33:20 GMT

Howdy, it's Monday and we're back! It's time to talk about Crufts, as the world's premier dog show returned last weekend to much amusement and entertainment to both Luke and Pete. Lovely bitches.

Elsewhere, we talk haircuts, Ricky Gervais' After Life, Captain Marvel, and lots more besides. There's also plenty of time for your emails too, which this time around feature Michael Jordan, listeners' dreams, and furries (!), and we also find time to squeeze in a quick Mencarta to honour a remarkable woman who sadly died last week.

Keep that good stuff flowing in: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 148: Swinging the swing

Thu, 07 Mar 2019 15:28:55 GMT

It's World Book Day today! As a result, the boys spend some time talking about the books they are currently reading (well, Luke does. Pete can't remember), and then they get into the weeds of your much more typical LAPS fare - bonobos, whether it's physically possible to swing a playground swing all the way around, the accidental outing of listeners who would prefer to be anonymous...you know, the usual stuff.

Make sure to check out Searching For Sugarman, Erik Larson's In The Garden of Beasts, and give props to one Luke Cunningham, a listener who sent us in an original song about the show! Mad love!

Also, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com on the email, and @lukeandpeteshow on those socials!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 147: Dangerous buildings in Taiwan

Mon, 04 Mar 2019 13:48:55 GMT

Good afternoon and welcome to another episode of The Luke and Pete Show, and with Pete fresh off the plane from Taiwan, it's an absolute belter! We hear from Mr Donaldson about his exploration of an abandoned building as well as his attempt to leap across an eight metre high ravine while chasing after snapping turtles (obviously), and after that we get stuck into some of the big stories that have been doing the rounds - a man trapped in a snow drift in Oregon, the anniversary of John Candy's death, and much, much more.

Elsewhere there's all your emails of course, including a much-needed Def Leppard cruise update, and medication gone very wrong.

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We'll see you on Thursday!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 146: Don't you ever do a crime

Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:00:00 GMT

We're back! And here's what to expect in this episode:

- Walking sticks

- Kid n Play

- Pulling sickies

- Hi-Vis jackets

- Heroin

- Mannequins

And lots more. Including Pete taking us through his wallet, repeatedly talking about Manic Street Preachers, and then giving us his own carefully thought out opinions on DVDs.

Oh, and we also hear again from Crisp Andy. And apparently he's still never eaten a crisp. Ridiculous.

Send us crisps. And emails: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 145: Man dunks child

Mon, 25 Feb 2019 11:00:00 GMT

What would happen if Pete and Luke grabbed an aircraft carrier from somewhere and piloted it to the South China Sea? Just one of the thought experiments available on today's episode of TLAPS. Elsewhere, we hear of a festival going wrong (not Ja Rule's one, although he does get a good going over regardless), something truly surprising that Luke sent a friend in the post, a boat called Clubber Lang, and a truly bizarre way for a man to motivate his son to be better at football.

Warning: This episode contains a story about a paddling pool from Pete Donaldson that we can only describe as 'specialist'. You've been warned.

Send your favourite stories in: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 144: Nostalgia podcasting

Thu, 21 Feb 2019 11:00:00 GMT

Hi all, and a very happy Thursday to you! The Luke and The Pete are back and talking about the issues that matter to absolutely no-one. Hey, it keeps us off the streets and out of the can, ya hear?

There's chat about Channel 4 and their latest poverty tourism documentary series, there's a good bit on Bible verses, Pete's somewhat cavalier attitude towards toast, a clarification regarding Dublin Zoo, and lots more. We even find time to hear about a listener or two being cured of their phobia.

Join our club, send us an email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 143: A blistering tale

Mon, 18 Feb 2019 11:00:00 GMT

Hello everyone, and a very happy Monday! Welcome to this edition of The Luke and Pete Show, which listeners of a nervous disposition should be very wary of. You have been warned...

This time around, Pete gets very well acquainted with a fellow passenger on a flight, waxes lyrical about his disdain for John Peel and North Korea (separately), and we hear from a listener about literally the worst holiday of all time. All we'll say is it involves a cruise and 80s rock band Def Leppard.

To get in touch and be an accessory to this entirely foul business we call a podcast, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we're @lukeandpeteshow on the socials. Chin chin!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 142: Brexit fondue

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 11:00:47 GMT

It's Valentine's Day! So that means Luke and Pete are getting very romantic. Pete's even found a novel way of making hollandaise sauce, and he's even stopped using his oven as storage.

We also take time to observe Galentine's Day, as made popular on Parks and Recreation and Singles Awareness Day, thus making sure that literally no-one is left out on the most romantic day of the year. We are such team players...

Elsewhere, we hear about monkeys, fireworks, Pete's idea of stepping a night in up a notch, and of course all your correspondence.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 141: Hot dogs in Central Park

Mon, 11 Feb 2019 14:19:35 GMT

Welcome back to your fourteenth-favourite show about absolutely nothing at all, as it returns for another episode fresh from the weekend's excesses (well, that's mostly Pete of course) and looks to put all memories of horse-related content firmly behind it. Unfortunately, the majority of you listeners don't agree and have spent the last few days sending in emails about yep, you've guessed it, horses. Typical.

This time around though, there's also cycling's dirtiest drug, Vince Vaughn, Pete attempting to learn Mandarin, and, here comes the clickbait bit, you won't *believe* how much it costs to sell hot dogs in New York City...

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and to get us on social media it's @lukeandpeteshow

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 139: Into the Peteverse

Mon, 04 Feb 2019 17:03:15 GMT

Good day to you, and welcome back to another instalment of the 182nd most popular comedy podcast in Qatar (yes, really)! It's officially National Sickie Day today, and as a result Pete and Luke talk you through their best tips for phoning in a day off without getting in trouble. We accept no responsibility for what transpires, though...

Elsewhere, there's chat about Ted Bundy, dubbing in movies on TV, and more chat about feet, as well as the great Ciaran Judge getting in touch to let us know he's alive and well (at time of recording).

To tell us your stories about pulling sickies, or anything else for that matter: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 138: Sticking your foot in it

Thu, 31 Jan 2019 15:00:00 GMT

The weekend is rapidly approaching and what better way to get ready for it than to listen to today's Luke and Pete Show, which features plenty of chat about Pete's bathroom, his fascination with vaping, and the great Wes Welker delivering one of the all-time great interviews.

In addition to all of this, we just about tie up all the remaining woodlice threads, discuss sweet/savoury mental blocks, and take time to laud the late, great Terry Pratchett.

There's loads more besides, and to make a contribution yourself please contact us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We'd love to hear from you!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 137: Man dates cockroach

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 14:00:00 GMT

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to another instalment of the soon-to-be-award-winning Luke and Pete Show! Those who are hoping we'd be well out from under the yoke of woodlice-based conversation by now will be bitterly disappointed as the subject continues to run and run, and if that wasn't enough, there are more dating tips courtesy of The Pete.

Also, is The Luke and Pete Show the only podcast to be sent some aviation speed tape by a listener this week? We'd wager the answer to that is a firm yes. Listen in to find out more.

To get in touch, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and we're @lukeandpeteshow on Twitter and Insta, too! Praise be!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 136: Digger Destruction

Thu, 24 Jan 2019 14:30:00 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show, and after Monday's festival of news and action we get straight back into the weeds with yet more chat about Prince Philip, before we discuss the worst thing you'd want to happen to your onboard a pleasure cruise.

Beyond that, there's a barman's tale of a £10 all you can drink night, yet more #woodlicecontent, and a truly staggering decision from Mr Pete Donaldson to take an alarm clock, yes, an alarm clock, on his very first date as a 14 year old.

We would love to hear from you, so get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 135: Chuckypigs, or chiggywigs?

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 13:30:00 GMT

Welcome to your all new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, it's even more zeitgeisty than usual! That means we've got Prince Phillip doing his 'thing', Prince Mick Fleetwood doing *his* thing, and Prince Pete Donaldson doing *his* thing in Istanbul last weekend. Insatiable rascals, the lot of 'em.

Elsewhere, there's woodlice and the frankly remarkable names we have for them here in the UK, someone who broke his ankle while listening to us (Attn: lawyers, we are *not* liable), and a tribute to Buzz Aldrin who turned 89 yesterday and has a decent claim to being the best human being on the planet. Happy Birthday, Buzz!

Hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 134: Tattoos, death, and a Lukealike

Thu, 17 Jan 2019 02:00:00 GMT

Hello everyone. Nice to see you. Thanks for popping back in. You've come to the right place for Pete's obsession with crap technology, information on the most popular day of the year to get a divorce (it's in January, unsurprisingly), and individuals' power of recall over their own tattoos.

In addition to this, we recite a truly fascinating tale of a young man working as an ice cream salesman for a summer that includes a deserted warehouse and a holdall full of cash. It's unmissable.

We need to hear from you, so don't be shy. You can even remain anonymous if you like: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 133: Foaming hell

Mon, 14 Jan 2019 02:00:00 GMT

This time around on *your* Luke and Pete Show, Pete's been interviewing Steve Coogan about his new movie Stan and Ollie, and we quickly move things on to Quentin Tarantino, and then, separately, some breaking news about the 1900 Great Plague of Glasgow. You know us, ear to the ground.

We also hear from a listener that embarked upon work experience at Loaded magazine with hilarious consequences and how, in one of the only occasions Pete did a full day's honest work, he covered someone in foam.

To send us your work experiences, favourite films, or to suggest something for us to do, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 132: Do it all on expenses

Thu, 10 Jan 2019 02:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show! It's Thursday, and so it's very nearly the weekend. Allow us to help you get there with another half an hour of nonsense, this time around including the busting of an urban myth or two, a strangely supportive attitude towards lad mags of the 90s, and obviously then Pete veers into chat about masturbation. We apologise in advance.

Elsewhere there's a bit on The Inbetweeners, and then someone gets in touch to talk about stealing from vending machines.

Tell what you want to tell us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find

us. Thanks!***

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Episode 131: A broad parish

Mon, 07 Jan 2019 02:00:00 GMT

Welcome to your all new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, indeed the second issue of 2019. We're celebrating the new year by discussing Limewire, Morpheus and Kazaa (the only way of grabbing the music you wanted for free back in 2002), a couple of films we've seen, and a 70-year-old Japanese skateboarder. Obviously.

After that there's plenty of stories from you too, and we thank you for your continued dedication to the podcast about absolutely nothing at all. It's such fun to make for you.

We'd love to hear from you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find

us. Thanks!***

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Episode 130: Donaldson Futurism

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 02:00:00 GMT

Happy New Year everyone! We're now officially in the future, it's 2019. How exciting!

On today's episode we discuss some of the predictions about what 2019 might look like, including the end of the working week as we know it (something that ended for both Luke and Pete some time ago...), what the future holds for both The Luke and The Pete, and the danger of the Deepfake. Oooh, scary.

As discussed, if you've got something you want us to tackle in 2019, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 129: Reflections on a year, sort of

Mon, 31 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's New Year's Eve! But that won't deter the chaps from discussing the big issues and getting reflective about the year that's just passed. We chat Pete's resolutions for next year (including why he doesn't really believe in them, obviously), and lots more.

There's also plenty of time to hear from you guys, and to have an email considered for the show, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Thanks for all your support in 2018, and we look forward to seeing more of you in 2019! Stay safe and call your mother more, you know how she worries.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 128: Betwixtmas

Thu, 27 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

We're in that weird period of time between Christmas and New Year where no-one is really doing much of anything apart from you poor souls that have no choice but to go into work. This episode is for you, we got your back.

For the rest of us, this week means leftover food, TV specials, the pub and taking it easy. Go on, you deserve it. Also, listen out for a treat of an email involving an enthusiastic approach to a school talent show.

Now go get yourself another sherry, it's Christmas. Oh, and we're on hello@lukeandpeteshow.com should you need us...

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 127: A nut without the sack

Mon, 24 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

What better way to usher in Christmas than with plenty of chat about dead people that have dedicated their bodies to science? That's right, Pete has been to the Body Worlds exhibition, brainchild of the controversial Dr Gunther von Hagens. It's not for the squeamish.

In other more traditional fare, we discuss Christmas traditions, including Pete spending quite a depressing amount of Christmas Day alone (boo hoo), followed by near-death experiences, and finally crop circles with one of the 'world's leading experts'.

Have a very Merry Christmas! See you on the other side!

Tell us about your festive experiences: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 126: Giving yourself a mountain to climb

Thu, 20 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Hello to you all! You're very welcome in the Land of Luke and Pete. If you do visit us, expect to experience tales of a remarkable man climbing a huge rock, and the following:

- Monkeys stealing crisps

- Weird flavours of ice cream

- Raw chicken

- Things your mum steals from work

...and that's just one email. Elsewhere, there's discontinued food products, more on porn star Ben Dover and much, much more. Don't sleep on it.

Talk to us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 125: Is that a man inside there?

Mon, 17 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Greetings Luke and Peters! We're back, you literally can't get rid of us. This time around, among other things, we hear about a robot presented to a robotics expo that turned out to be not quite as it seemed, we marvel and worry simultaneously about the new social points system in China, and we obviously hear from you guys, including a listener who smashed his own face in and was rescued by a man in an anorak called Lucky Pete.

No, not that one. We said 'lucky'.

Get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow,com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 124: Don't eat the yellow snow

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Pete has learnt that pollution is so bad in China that it's apparently turning the snow yellow. Meanwhile, Luke is lucky to be here after running a road race in temperatures as low as -22C. What a cold start to this week's episode!

And, with the help of you lovely listeners, our two eponymous anti-heroes also talk about school talent shows, internet criticism, and bogeys. Yes, bogeys. Deal with it.

To tell us your best weather stories, or anything else for that matter: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 123: Errol Flynn's duck centipede

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's Monday! But don't despair, because Luke and Pete have got your back. We'll stick with you your whole commute through (providing it's not longer than about 30 minutes), and regale you with tales of the first ever traffic lights, PETA having a bit of a mare, and Pete's recent trip to Cluj.

This episode also features a genuinely stunning story about the great Errol Flynn, involving ducks, pork and a long piece of string. Don't miss it. And also please don't try it.

We would love to hear from you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 122: Baked bean pizzas and Irn Bru chew bars

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Hello everyone, and happy Thursday! The Luke and The Pete are back in the saddle and running the rule over yet more unplanned nonsense, including discontinued foodstuffs, Pete's first ever podcast, and spotting Eddie Izzard on the tube.

Elsewhere, there's another visit to North Sentinel Island (figuratively speaking, it's too dangerous to go there in person, as someone found out last week), Neil Young and Bob Dylan team up, and we hear from a very disgruntled listener...

To join forces with us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 121: Finders Keepers

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 02:00:00 GMT

How much money would you find on the street and keep? Pete found 50p once and it changed his life. For a bit.

Listen in to hear more on that particular story (which kept the boy Donny in milk at school for at least a week) on your all-new Luke and Pete Show.

We also run the rule over more parental situations, including a our first ever grandparental lie, there's art theft, there's Bob Mortimer, and there's a return for the Weetagang.

Get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 120: Pete on a bus shelter

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It happened. Pete was once on the side of a bus shelter and it was on a bad hair day as well. Nightmare. In his line of work, presentation is everything. Tune in to hear more.

Elsewhere in this episode, we lament the passing of the great Stan Lee, we hear an incredible story about a drive-by blowdart attack in the middle of nowhere, and Luke lifts the lid on what it was like to grow up the grandson of a bakery magnate.

Ever been shot by a blowdart? Let us know: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 119: Do you want salt and vinegar?

Mon, 26 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

The terrible twosome are back in the habit, and this time around they're talking about U-Boats and their toilets (quite unreliable, apparently), as well as the best fish n chip shops around, paintballing and the dangers within it, and cricket.

There's also a revisiting of the great Cosmo and Dibs debacle courtesy of a listener, and Pete 'Donny' Donaldson dishes out some advice. You have been warned.

Got a fish n chip shop worth shouting about? Email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 118: Turtle Power

Thu, 22 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Luke once made up an impromptu dance to Partners in Kryme's seminal 1990 classic Turtle Power at a school disco with his mate John. There was absolutely no reason for it to happen. Meanwhile, Pete's been wandering around London looking for fences made from World War II stretchers - they're everywhere apparently.

Elsewhere on this episode there's time for near death experiences, the cleaning of a cat's anal glands, Pete's one man Bread-inspired stage show, and much, much more.

Got something to show off about? Don't be shy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 117: Return of the eight year old millionaire

Mon, 19 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Pete learns of Luke's exploits as a child involving trying to pull a fast one over the Tooth Fairy, and Pete reminds us all of his crush on Samantha Fox as an eight year old. There's also time to praise Peter Jackson's truly remarkable They Shall Not Grow Old, and following that we go from the sublime to the ridiculous as a listener tells us all about Lucozade flavoured Calippos. Unreal.

To tell us about the time you pretended to be someone else (that'll make sense when you listen), it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 116: Pete Assange

Thu, 15 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Pete has decided he'd quite like to visit the Japanese embassy, which is pretty handy as he's recently been cordially invited. Better pack the Ferrero Rocher. More details to follow on later episodes (hopefully), but Luke is keen to see him move in there permanently, preferably with the odd visit from Nigel Farage.

During this episode we also hear from Stewie Donaldson and his new best mate Crypto Dave (!), a woman actually carries out an urban myth, and we hear about a truly rare beast - a successful wikipedia edit.

There's plenty more where that came from too! Email us with your stories: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 115: Mushy pea sandwiches and Japanese KitKats

Mon, 12 Nov 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Which of our two eponymous heroes has the most tragic life? Pete has a pretty good idea, but is he correct? Having said that, both Luke and Pete spend a portion of this episode eating different flavoured KitKats Pete found in Japan, so no-one is really winning in the cool stakes anyway.

But, there *is* time for Cliff the Distance Runner, the real reason WH Smith try to sell you chocolate, and what happens when you wake up drunk on a flight back from the Faroe Islands...

Tell us about your life, we are genuinely interested: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 114: The Curse of the Colonel

Thu, 08 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Why are baseball team curses so prevalent? Luke and Pete wonder that as they learn all about The Curse of the Colonel, a superstition that combines baseball team Hanshin Tigers, KFC, and the bottom of a river.

During this episode we also learn of a frankly bizarre marketing ploy by the good people at Ribena, hear all about clown phobias, and welcome a long overdue return for Mencarta centred around a man that had no fewer than seven near-death experiences.

To tell us all about your phobias, curses and dices with death: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 113: I'm a locksmith, and, I'm a locksmith

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 13:50:40 GMT

Hello everyone. Strap yourselves in because Pete is back from Japan with more tales of getting run over, seeing the tallest Japanese man he's ever seen and trying to stay on the plane to watch the end of a film.

We also try to solve the Zimbabwean Fruit Mystery, wonder over a case of mistaken identity after a listener bizarrely suggests that Luke and Pete actually go drinking together (would never happen), and chat a tiny bit more about Pink Floyd.

There's plenty of your emails too, and lots more besides. Get involved, Trev!

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 112: Weetabix? Or Shredded Wheat?

Thu, 01 Nov 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Hello again, it's lovely to see you! Hope your week's going well.

Allow us to try and brighten it up a bit with half an hour more conversation between two manchildren, punctuated by your stories, suggestions and observations.

This time around, there's a lake on the top of a mountain in India with a load of skeletons in it, so we discuss the nature of death and how it affects us, Pete entertains the idea of having his own personal daemon, and we wonder why the people at Weetabix thought it was a good idea to use skinheads to advertise their product (clue: it was the 80s).

To speak to us with a story of your own: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 111: Two frogs in a sock

Mon, 29 Oct 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Did you know the number 111 is unlucky in cricket? You do now. We talk about that on this episode, and lots more. Lots more like:

- Eating raw chicken out of politeness

- Interviewing Hans Zimmer but forgetting to press record

- The finest double agent of the Second World War

Listen in to hear Luke and Pete, like two frogs in a sock, wrestle their way through half an hour of unplanned nonsense. You won't regret it!

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is where you get in touch. Come on, don't be shy...

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 110: Helping someone obtain a chicken mask

Thu, 25 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Pete packs today's episode full of startling revelations including helping a woman in the street with a badly needed item, a very particular type of dream, and his own very sensitive familial situation. None of this is related to an elephant whip he was suitably impressed by in Zimbabwe either. You'll need to listen to find out more.

We also take a quick excursion to the Faroe Islands courtesy of a listener, reminisce about our first beer, and hear all about the effects of fig rolls, courtesy of yet another parental lie.

To tell us more lies your parents told you, or for any other reason: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 109: Tape based solutions

Sun, 21 Oct 2018 23:00:00 GMT

109 is the atomic number for meitnerium, and don't you ever forget. Got it? Good. Now that's out of the way, let's all listen to chat from Pete about his recent visit to Zimbabwe, and let's all wax lyrical about musical subjects including Prince, Jeff Lynne, Pink Floyd and, just to keep Pete happy, punk.

Elsewhere there's chat about who's got the deepest voice, prizes to be won on Bullseye (again), some emails about mystery energy drinks and yet more parental lies. What fun!

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 108: Stevie Trousers

Thu, 18 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Let's talk weightlifting, let's talk Wario, let's talk a mystery man from Nicaragua who is changing currency on a bus (much to the confusion of one of our listeners), and why is Pete staying in a budget hotel in a rough part of Portsmouth?

Elsewhere, there's confusion between US and UK shower setups, and we hear more call centre-based tales and obviously much, much more...

To take Pete for a pint: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 107: Holloway Road shops I admire

Mon, 15 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Could Pete Donaldson or Luke Moore ever run an Ironman Triathlon? I think we all know the answer to that already but let's explore the prospect anyway.

During this episode we also run the rule over Pete's finest parody songs (and you'll be forgiven for not knowing they exist), Jim Bowen's contribution to TV, magicians, Tintagel Castle (again), and swords. Yes, swords.

To buy us a sword: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 106: A straw-based Godzilla

Thu, 11 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

This time around on your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show, we're talking queueing, we're talking fetid herring, we're talking Foo Fighters, we're talking listeners emailing us while high, we're talking everything guys. It's a jamboree.

The Wicker Man also makes an appearance, as do Netflix-based crime documentaries and Nordic travel, so as ever there's something for everyone. Don't skip it.

To send over a dinghy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 105: Biting a kidney

Mon, 08 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete show, where your two eponymous antiheroes wait in situ to waste another 35 minutes of your time. It's tough work, but someone's got to do it. This time around, it's a protein-heavy edition as Pete tucks into eggs and spinach while talking about diets.

After that an actual real-life doctor gets in touch to discuss the best way to transport and transplant a kidney (clue: don't take a bite out of it), and then we get into the realms of Jurassic Park with a live orchestra, the absolute state of some of the things dinner ladies used to serve up to school kids, and a legend of The Luke and Pete Show finally gets in touch. Don't miss it!

To tell us about the worst food you had served up at school, or indeed anything else for that matter: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 104: Clowning about

Thu, 04 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Remember when that guy swore at his mum during Christmas dinner? Well, another listener gets in touch with a similar bout of behaviour along the same theme, while another is getting stuck in an isolated toilet block in eastern Europe. Meanwhile, a man is hit in the face by a seal carrying an octopus, a listener has a present from NASA brought home from work by father, and Pete has been taken aback by a hotel in Macau.

Just the usual then, something for everyone. And if none of that takes your fancy, stick around for chat about the great heavyweight champion Jack Johnson, and an 80 year old Japanese DJ (separately).

Make yourself known: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 103: Antibiotics from India

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 01:00:00 GMT

A man has attempted to flag down a plane at Dublin airport, and miraculously, that man is not Pete Donaldson. He is however on hand to comment upon it, as well as many other issues including rappers eating too many Cheetos, kidneys being transported for transplant, and how much he enjoyed his parents' recent trip down to see him in London.

We also welcome a return for Crisp Andy, revisit the famous shower curtain debacle with a man that knows his onions, and marvel at Pete's resourcefulness at purchasing medication from the internet.

Hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 102: Jimmy White's brother

Thu, 27 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Welcome back! Pete decides that there wasn't quite enough complaining last time round for his rather dour tastes and so we revisit Room 101 (which I suppose for the purposes of this episode will have to be referred to as Room 102), including airport behaviour, lion poo, the downing of spirits and horrendous punk roustabout GG Allin.

Elsewhere, there's Pete getting fed with tongs (again), and two frankly remarkable tales about crisps and Jimmy White's brother (separately).

Join us and instantly be one of the cool kids: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 101: Tale as old as time

Mon, 24 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

As we speed down the conversational highway past a century of Luke and Pete Shows, episode 101 is a chance to pull into the rhetorical lay-by and take some time to assess which things in the world our listeners truly hate.

That's right, in a format that is in no way ripping off a previously popular TV show, Luke puts all our listeners' gripes to Pete and the pathologically strange man decides whether or not they're worthy of entry into Room 101.

Expect 3G mobile reception, Bono, Caffe Nero, Zooey Deschanel and much, much more to make an appearance.

To send in a gripe of your own, or indeed to get in touch for any other reason, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 100: We actually made 100 of these shows

Thu, 20 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

START THE FANFARE! It's time to celebrate our 100th episode! We do this by counting down the top five stories, incidents and discoveries of the past 100 shows, all the while finding it hard to believe we made it quite this far.

Stay tuned for all your favourite moments (well five of them anyway), and in addition to that, as ever, Pete has a whole load to get off his chest including a remarkable segue into something that he witnessed at kids' camp when he was about 9 years old.

Thanks for all your amazing support over the last year and a bit! Here's to the next 100!

To make the next 100 shows special we need you to email us stories and experiences from your life. Do so here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 99: Hunter S Thompson v Mark Wahlberg

Mon, 17 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Hello everyone, we're back and we're talking about daily routines after Mark Wahlberg released his last week to much derision and confusion. There's more fuel to the crucifixion debate, and some time to dissect Pete's strongly held views on veganism and the environment. Strap yourselves in, plant fans!

Elsewhere there's time for a Man v Lemurs incident, the lid is lifted on Pete's worst habits, and a startling revelation rears its head regarding an 80s Page 3 girl...

If you want to contribute, you'd be very welcome: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 98: Flavour Dad

Thu, 13 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Let episode 98 be forever known as the time we finally discovered the best Dads ever, including a tour manager for the Rolling Stones and a father who literally brought home 20 different types of milkshake for his kids to sample and rate. Incredible.

We also hear about the most expensive brandy in history, village fetes, rhubarb, and why Pete had never been asked back to the BBC. All your usual favourites are also included: Pete's Dad, Pete's tattoos, Pete's opinions on food etc. You know the drill by now.

Send Pete ideas for a tattoo to commemorate the 100th Luke and Pete Show episode: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 97: The podcast Mick Hucknall

Mon, 10 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Happy Monday! The Puke and Leek show is back once more for no other reason than we've got nothing better to do, so why not spend half an hour talking about bad poems at tube stations, Keith Moon, listeners stealing Techdecks and video game re-releases?

We also take in a few other bits and pieces from *you* the listener, including an extremely insightful missive about crucifixion. What larks!

If you want to contribute, you'd be very welcome: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 96: Fodcast ferfection

Thu, 06 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

What better way to start a podcast than chat about the lesser-spotted Hard Fi? Staines' finest are piquing Mr Donaldson's interest for some reason or another, and after that we find it within ourselves to ruminate on Masterchef, white chocolate, chicken shops and plenty more besides.

Before we dash, there's time to hear from the LAPS community about the Butterfly Effect and how it pertains to Kim Kardashian being famous. Fascinating stuff, and it also includes OJ Simpson. What more can you ask for eh?

To tell us your thoughts in the hope we share them with the masses: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 95: A podcast kakistocracy

Mon, 03 Sep 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Ever wondered what a society run by the least qualified individuals would look like? Well, that's sort of what The Luke and Pete Show is, isn't it? And it's called a kakistocracy. Anyway, we're diving straight into this episode with talk about the nuances of the Jagger family, and rapidly moving into Maplin-esque territory by lamenting the loss of electronics giant Dick Smith.

Elsewhere there's chat about brandy, Jim Davidson, Oliver Reed, and of course more stuff listeners' Dads have 'borrowed' from work.

Be a good egg and email us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 94: A parachute jump without a parachute is just a jump

Thu, 30 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We're back, just like you said we would be. Let's get straight into it, shall we?

A man enters the Guinness Book of World Records in a way that must surely mean he's tired of living, we discover a land beneath the sea that we never knew existed, someone directly related to an Arctic Monkey gets in touch, and Pete lets us in to the nightmare that is his subconscious.

Elsewhere, there's emails on tips for visiting the UK, the building in London that Hitler purposely avoided bombing, and a famous man visiting Hartlepool for the fish n chips, when in fact he should be sticking to his tossed salads and scrambled eggs. Saucy!

To send us a lovely battered cod, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 93: The bad boy of perverts

Mon, 27 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Good morning and welcome to this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, you're very welcome. Make yourselves comfortable. This time around, Pete kicks off proceedings by furnishing us with some Japanese pornographic film titles translated into English. It's actually funnier than you'd expect.

After that we take in subjects as diverse as Duran Duran, saving animals from extinction, Ian Botham and, in an unrelated matter, hear from a listener with arguably the best Dad ever.

To get in touch and expand on any of the subjects we've talked about, it's: hello@thelukeandpeteshow.com. We're also on Twitter and Insta: @lukeandpeteshow

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 92: Never arm-wrestle an actor

Thu, 23 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

This time around, we hear from a listener who became involved in an ill-advised tete-a-tete with The Shield's Kenny Johnson, with quite spectacular results, learn of the tallest free-standing structure in the UK (Hint: It's not in London), and marvel at a truly horrific tree surgery injury.

Meanwhile, there's Tony Hawk, storm chasing, frontmen with the best mic skills and much, much more. All packed into a commuting-friendly half hour. What more can you ask for, eh?

To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Caution: This show contains Pete Donaldson's robust views on the Channel Islands.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 91: Non-brewed condiments

Mon, 20 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Congratulations on your download! Your all-new Luke and Pete Show will contain the following:

White Chocolate

Chicken Shops

Fish n Chips

Sweaty Armpits

How to assemble a band for a wedding

Warning: Results may vary, do not listen to while operating heavy machinery.

To prescribe us a higher dose: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 90: A conspiracy theory special!

Thu, 16 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

As promised, Pete delivers (sort of) on his Conspiracy Theory Special chat from shows gone by. What we mean by that is that he found a list of them in a magazine and would quite like to read them out.

And the excitement only ramps up from there - in the second half of the show both Luke and Pete get tucked in to a tube of space food that their pal brought back from Russia. I mean, they have to translate the label first, but it can't be that bad can it?

To send us into space, or give us any ideas: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 89: A husband's bulge

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Finally, finally, FINALLY, Pilot Neil returns. We don't know where he's been or what he's been doing but the most important thing is that he's back. We weren't angry, just disappointed.

Also on your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show - tales from Bruges, the most beautiful/perverted city in Belgium, pinball machines, elaborate record packaging and the time Pete was attacked by a police dog for no reason. Can you tell we don't plan these in advance?

We also took the time to get through a few of your emails of course, and to get involved yourself it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 88: Why are we even friends?

Thu, 09 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Howdy everyone! We're back in our respective saddles and looking to artfully waste another half an hour of everyones' time with some more pith and nonsense. Huzzah!

Pete's been to Korea and so joyfully regales us with tales of his travels, including of course the eating of octopus. A textbook Korean pursuit if ever there was one.

Elsewhere, there's plenty of your emails including job interview chat, a laugh spared for Alex Jones' latest woes, and Pete wonders whatever happened to that most stalwart of 80s sights - the bullworker.

To contact us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 87: A knife made of pasta

Mon, 06 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

The Luke and The Pete are getting to the age where they need to think about going grey and what that means for them. Apparently, Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers takes affirmative action on that front. Who knew?

Also, there's a revisiting of the 'posh people getting angry' trope, and we discover (via a listener) a man who can literally make a sharp knife out of just about anything at all, including clothing and pasta. Incredible really.

Steer our conversations any way you choose: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 86: Kneeling in mud in the name of Liam Neeson

Thu, 02 Aug 2018 01:00:00 GMT

A police helicopter has been keeping Luke from watching TV. Pete's more interested in those little finger trick skateboards you used to get back in the day. What were they called? Did you ever become good at using one? If so, let us know.

Meanwhile, we hear of a man who died by having a tortoise dropped on his bald head, and another, separate, man who had a rum old time working as Liam Neeson's stand in on a Martin Scorsese movie. Yes, really.

Have you ever worked with Marty? Let us know! Even if you haven't, we'd still love to hear from you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 85: Never eaten a crisp

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Rejoice at the return of your favourite podcast featuring two men that know nothing about anything talking for half an hour. Pete's been to the seaside, and this time he managed to avoid getting sunburnt! He celebrates by talking for a bit about pants.

We then move on to the well-trodden subjects of haircuts, how much one should pay, and finish off with a good dose of British awkwardness, something both Luke and Pete know very well. There's time before we go to hear two incredible stories too - one about a man who is phobic of crisps, and another whose 'porn shed' burnt down in a 'horny inferno'. We apologise in advance.

To tell us a tall tale: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 84: Do you keep those spider monkeys in a van?

Thu, 26 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Why is Sir Paul McCartney so odd? And, while we're at it, why is Ringo Starr also so odd? Any advice greatly appreciated.

This time around, we break bread over the differences between the Japanese and Korean languages, marvel at possibly the worst job interview experience of all time, hear a Mencarta, and find out that, in the 70s, people that used to go door-to-door selling spider monkeys. Yes, really.

To tell us of your worst ever job interview experiences, or anything else for that matter: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 83: Careful of the laburnum

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We start this episode as every podcast should begin - with Tom Jones impressions. After that we keep up the music theme by finding out that Pete has been hobnobbing with Franz Ferdinand's Alex Kapranos and bonding with him over Graceland.

Once we finally get past the name-drop section of the show there's time for an email from Brunei, some more weird baby names, a discussion about LiveJasmine, some more Jurassic Park chat and much, much more courtesy of you, the lovely listener. What ho!

Join us by telling a tale of your own: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 82: Next stop, Hither Green!

Thu, 19 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Tune in this time around for Luke and Pete reminiscing about puncture repair kits, before marvelling at how strange and unreliable the passing of time and capturing of memories can be. Don't worry though, we get on to much more firm and familiar ground shortly after that as Pete waxes lyrical about how he hates leg day at the gym.

What's more, you beautiful listeners step up to the plate with tales of Don King, ejecting from a jet in the middle of a thunderstorm, and much, much more. Don't miss it, mother!

Besmirch us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 81: The It's Been World Record

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We start today's proceedings by talking about a one hour documentary on Japanese trains, including men fashioning a light fitting 'the old fashioned way', whatever that means. It's not as boring as it sounds though, and before you know it we've moved on to camel urine anyway, so that's a plus.

Elsewhere on your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, there's more sodium-based tom foolery, actors that didn't act more than once and a big end-of-show finale as Pete attempts a physical and mental feat that any sane man wouldn't even consider...

To contribute: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 80: Fast food rigidity

Thu, 12 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We open proceedings this time around with a tale about a stork that ended up costing a charity a £2000 phone bill, and things get slowly more bizarre from there.

The two main takeaways are, well, er, takeaways and names it is absolutely impossible to call a baby in 2018. We round this entire derring-do off with a good look at Jackass-inspired injuries and how they're not particularly conducive to enjoying yourself at a music festival. What ho!

Indulge us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 79: Johnny Eggs

Mon, 09 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We think it's episode 79, but we're not sure, and Pete is still sunburnt. It's his own fault. It's sent him a bit mad, and one minute we're discussing new show ideas, and the next we're talking about bringing a different animal into the studio every week. Heady stuff.

On today's show we solve the great Cadbury's discontinued chocolate bar riddle, find out about eggs that haven't had a shell formed around them, waste pipes, Two Fat Ladies, and a horrible shit who almost blew up his entire school. It wasn't big, but it was actually quite clever in a way.

Participate: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 78: Fly away Peter, fly away Paul

Thu, 05 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Straight off the bat, The Pete is accusing The Luke of wearing Bermuda shorts, an accusation that shouldn't be taking lightly. After that we hear of Peter Crouch and a kids' illusion that confuses The Pete to this day.

There's time for actors that have appeared in one movie and then never again, the pleasing sound of things hitting bald mens' heads, and another love letter to Anthony Bourdain. And make sure you stick around for a Pete Donaldson special story about a blocked drain and a shower curtain. You *will not* regret it.

Got a tall tale? Or even a moderately short one? It's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 77: Candy cigarettes and camel urine

Mon, 02 Jul 2018 01:00:00 GMT

The Pete is back from working the Isle of Wight Festival and is sunburnt. He's also sporting a rather snazzy Transformers tattoo. And, having managed to perform a bungee jump and survive it with both retinas intact, he's also in a chipper mood.

He and The Luke discuss more weird sports team names, find out about a 19th century beer flood, hear of a school brawl involving over 100 people and an irate PE teacher, and discover some fart-based embarrassment. All in all, a pretty packed 35 minutes or so. Don't say you weren't warned.

To inject those sweet emails directly into our veins: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 76: Chaos on the central line

Thu, 28 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Highlander actor Christopher Lambert is apparently almost blind. Did you know that? Why would you, eh? Luke certainly didn't, not until Pete told him. Yes, the boys are back and they're talking yet more nonsense, which let's face it is the very thing they do best.

There's music chat, including Neil Young, Van Morrison and Pete's baes The Darkness. Did you know he almost joined their five-a-side team once?

Elsewhere, plenty of your anecdotes including a near-dust up on the London Underground's central line, and much, much more.

To tell us about public transport and whatever else you fancy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 75: How's your health?

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Moore and Donaldson get back in their easy chairs, light a pipe each and start ruminating on the world around them once more, in episode 75 of your Luke and Pete Show.

This time around there is time to talk about physical health, leading on to the fact that Pete has a charity bungee jump lined up. In a somewhat related matter, chat progresses to American candy, including Pete's favourites and a terrible memory he has of having a row in M+Ms World with an ex-girlfriend.

And, before they nick off again, they squeeze in plenty of your emails - including badly edited movies, weird sports team names and lots more. Huzzah!

To contribute to this derring do: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 74: Excuse me, is that my farting jar?

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

As the title suggests, in episode 74 we hear about one of the more bizarre habits adopted by people in England in the 17th century. But before that there's plenty to get our teeth into, including a new jingle or two, a Mencarta entry for the ages and a man having a chip implanted into his hand with mixed results.

There's also plenty more where that came from - we revisit sex education classes, Kathy Burke, and lots more.

Let's be having you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 73: Father censorship

Mon, 18 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

The chaps are back, and on your particularly chaotic latest edition of The Luke and Pete Show, we have a truly eclectic range of topics to discuss.

There's Fathers4Justice, more Anthony Bourdain chat, craft ale, more intellectual property theft from our listeners, and a revisiting of the white-hot National Treasures debate.

And if that wasn't enough, we also find time to chat about two of the UK's specialist subjects: anxiety and uncool musicians. What ho!

To join us in this horrific journey: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 72: The dangers of Thunder Mountain

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Rejoice, because The Luke and The Pete are back in their hotseats and shooting the proverbial once again. This time around there's the great 'compressed air v jet fuel' debate, more flat earth nonsense and a an honourable mention for the late Anthony Bourdain.

Elsewhere, your emails include a horrific tale about a ride at Disneyland Paris gone wrong, a boy wetting himself on stage at school, and much, much more.

To serenade us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 71: The fine line between a life hack and actual fraud

Mon, 11 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We're back. Pete's brought along a new jingle or two and Luke has brought along himself. This time around, there's a bit of film chat (Alex Garland's Annihilation and Woody Harrelson's Lost in London Live), a kid that keeps fainting (not Luke or Pete), and today's musical offering is brought to you by Geri Halliwell and the Wu Tang Clan (separately).

Meanwhile, a listener gets in touch to offer a 90s life hack that is basically theft, and there's lots more besides.

To send us your suggestions for life hacks, or anything else for that matter, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We'd love to hear from you!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 70: The class of '99

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

As promised, this episode starts with Pete taking a science quiz, with actually quite impressive results, there’s talk of tattoos and the role they now play in society, and we learn actually pretty quickly that Pete doesn’t know the story of a really well known film that won three Oscars.

For your part dear listener, you excel yourselves yet again with your tales of intellectual property theft, and what’s more, you don’t even seem that sorry.

Oh and one final thing, be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Talk to us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 69: Straight-laced parents

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Greetings to you, beloved Luke and Pete Show community! We’re back for our 69th edition of this nonsense, and this time around The Luke and The Pete discuss Freddie Mercury again, what The Pete got up to at the British wrestling earlier in the week (spoiler: being overdressed and drinking wine, mainly), there’s an elongated chat about National Treasures, and we learn more about Pete’s teenage punk band, One Eyed Willy.

In addition to this, we uncover a truly disturbing story about a previously hidden VHS porn tape. You have been warned…

To send us, but particularly Pete, VHS video tapes, it’s: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 68: A baby on the dashboard

Thu, 31 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Draw up the drawbridge and draw down the blinds! We're back!

Pete's seen Solo and quite liked it, and on the subject of movies we also take the time to talk a bit about the new Freddie Mercury biopic which is hitting cinemas soon. Still on a theme, there's also a departure over to Will Smith and how he nabbed the Fresh Prince gig.

When it comes to your contributions, dear listeners, you excel yourselves yet again with tales of potentially the worst driver ever, as well as an extremely welcome missive from Medellin in Colombia. There's loads more, too!

Give it a spin. Go on, give it a little spin.

Let's have a chinwag: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 67: A voice on a stick

Mon, 28 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

On this episode of your all-new The Luke and Pete Show, we take time out to imagine what it would be like if The Pete wasn't 'a voice on a stick' but a BT engineer, sent out to make internet happen in your abode. Predictably, results are 'mixed'.

After that, chat rapidly progresses into talk of Brian Blessed, what it takes to become a national treasure and presenters who in real life are shits, and of course plenty of stories from The Luke and Pete Show Community, including misbehaviour at school, the accidental and tragic death of a cat, and a dreadfully-timed erection.

For all your usual chitter-chatter, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 66: Do not exit your vehicle

Thu, 24 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

School stories aplenty this time around as the great and good of The Luke and Pete Show community deliver us some of their most cringeworthy tales, we try to separate art from the artist, and there's an opportunity to imagine a young Pete gaily skipping through a horse's field on the way to school every morning.

And if that wasn't enough, we talk gorillas, farting (again), and possibly the worst parenting story of the year, involving a car, a toddler and a coalition of cheetahs. Seriously, we're ticking every box.

Tell us tall tales here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 65: Well, it used to be a dog

Mon, 21 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

When is a dog not a dog? That's a burning question we answer early doors on episode 65 of The Luke and Pete Show, before Pete waxes lyrical about birthdays, birthday parties and the fascinating world of speedrunning of video games.

The contributions from you the dear listeners this week extend to unkillable men, embarrassing farts and much, much more. Don't miss it.

To speedrun an email over to us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 64: The prodigal son returns (to Hartlepool)

Thu, 17 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

This time around on your common-or-garden Luke and Pete Show, The Pete has been back to the motherland unannounced to see his dear old mother and to annoy his father with Tivo-based tricks. Meanwhile, Luke's been for afternoon tea, the boys show yet more love for the great Carly Rae Jepsen, and there's a listener reporting an erroneous shaving of facial hair.

Elsewhere, a listener quite literally ruins Easter for a group of children and there's more curious French behaviour, this time from the 16th century.

To infiltrate us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 63: Abducted by Concorde

Mon, 14 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Pilot Neil is back in the Luke and Pete Show cockpit and he doesn't disappoint, the boys get excited about terrible 90s boy bands (most notably the great E-Male) and Pete reveals yet another remarkable childhood skill, arguably more impressive than eating frozen sausages and not dying.

We also delight in emails about party tricks that have gone wrong, Pete's pet hate (ankles) and a Mencarta involving a mass poisoning in southern France. TAME!

hello@lukeandpeteshow is where we live, come visit us.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 62: Little Pipples Donaldson

Thu, 10 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

This episode contains all the S words: snooker, The Simpsons, and sex education. And speaking of the latter, a listener gets in touch with perhaps the most embarrassing, cringeworthy and awkward situation a young student could find themselves in.

And, as is becoming a Luke and Pete Show custom, Pete reveals rather too much information about himself as a child. There's also time to hear from Detective George from Baltimore who gives his top stakeout tips, and we learn about what sounds like the world's best apple. How do you like them apples, huh?

To send us apples, hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 61: There's a toad in my suitcase, what am I gonna do?

Mon, 07 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

This time around we delight in some truly embarrassing school stories, including possibly the worst threat of violence ever and an ill-advised Nazi-themed tactic to impress a girl, we deliver a couple of well-overdue Duncan Bannatyne updates (one of which the doesn't show the big man in the best light) and we hear of a particularly hardy South African toad.

Elsewhere, Luke's been to Munich, and in an unrelated issue there's a bit on everyone's favourite rodent - the humble (and massive) capybara.

Why not share in this nonsense? hello@lukeandpeteshow.com to become an accomplice!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 60: A man in a rocking chair

Thu, 03 May 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Pete's been to the good ol' US of A and admits that he is essentially the worst travel companion ever, as well as recounting a frankly quite horrific story of his AirBnB involving a random stranger in a rocking chair. In addition to that we listen to some of your stories about, among other things, attempts to solve the now infamous Bo Bedingfield Mystery, a few more terrible band names, and a quite underrated story about Noel Edmonds. Again. You can't keep Edmonds out of this show.

To get involved in this foul jamboree, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 59: A hippo's dinner

Mon, 30 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Ever wondered what it's like to be swallowed by a hippo? Well, wonder no more as your boys have found a story of a man who experienced it. We'll be honest, it doesn't sound that nice.

Also, everyone's favourite drill sergeant, R Lee Ermey, has sadly passed away, although that death wasn't hippo-related you'll be pleased to hear. And if that wasn't enough, there's more plane chat, including how you can still visit the cockpit, and we receive a missive about possibly the stupidest driver of all time.

There's also a mystery to be solved, so listen out for that and send all your theories into hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 58: The Mothpocalypse

Thu, 26 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Pete's been admiring Beyoncé from afar, Luke's been admiring Duncan Bannatyne from afar (again) and we settle the 'Can you land in a wingsuit without a parachute?' debate once and for all, courtesy of a stuntman.

Elsewhere, giant moths v a tennis racket in a battle of wits for the ages, possibly the world's most terrifying sniper and lots, lots more. Don't miss it. And to contribute, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 57: When meat fell from the sky

Mon, 23 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

This week, we hear more about not only school trips, but school visits from celebrities including a truly heart-wrenching tale about a listener that missed out on an encounter with Kriss Akabusi.

There's also time for a truly depressing domestic tale, a *magnificent* mishearing of a school staple that you won't want to miss, and a weird period WHEN MEAT FELL FROM THE SKY.

Also, listeners to this damn show have started using our email address to sign up to wifi all over the world, something we naturally support and endorse. Keep it interesting though, yeah? There's only so many Virgin East Coast Trains emails we can realistically receive.

At the risk of encouraging this nonsense, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 56: Duncan Bannatyne and his favourite eggs

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Still on a high from a visit to southern Italy, Luke's started reading Roberto Saviano's Gomorrah. Meanwhile, Pete takes a trip down memory lane and treats us all to his favourite Red Dwarf moments. Conversation then understandably takes a trip to the dark side courtesy of Craig 'Dave Lister' Charles' penchant for grumble mags and crack.

Before we depart, we of course read out some of your missives, including one in particular about left-handedness, ruminate on what Duncan Bannatyne has been up to, and then open the creaking door to Mencarta to hear about a man who made quite a bad mistake at work, yet miraculously survived to tell the tale.

Send your proton beams here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 55: Misplacing the Door to Hell

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Our eponymous heroes, The Luke and The Pete, are back fresh from Naples and talking all things Italian (pizza, sculpted eyebrows etc) as well as car rentals, why Pete insists on recording the occasional podcast in bare feet - something that Luke finds completely unacceptable - and the strange Donaldson family trait of giving sausages at Easter in lieu of chocolate eggs.

Elsewhere, there's Turkmenistan's Door to Hell and where not to find it, some clarification on transubstantiation, and dreams about Mr Blobby. Don't ask. Well do, and do it by emailing hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 54: No! Not the bees!

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

It's Thursday and that means it's time for more nonsense from the terrible twosome. Luke and Pete are coming in your ears this time around with talk of early memories, including another story about bees, and the worst inventions of all time.

Among all that, Luke tells us a delightful tale about old ladies in libraries, and we also get an update from the Dean at Cambridge after Monday's debacle on why Pete apparently didn't get into Peterhouse.

After that, there's yet more horrific medical stuff from a currently serving doctor. You've been warned!

hello@lukeandpeteshow.com is the place to send your missives, drop a letter in there and we promise you we'll read it.

*Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*

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Episode 53: Singing the Peterhouse blues

Mon, 09 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Pete's been hobnobbing with yet another celebrity, and then rants and raves about why he thinks he didn't get into Cambridge university (clue: it's not to do with his lack of intelligence); he really is becoming quite obnoxious.

A tale of weird coincidence punctuates the It's Been section, and we firmly establish that Barenaked Ladies aren't American, courtesy of a lot of rather angry Canadians.

Pilot Neil makes a comeback and is the subject of an angry challenge by another listener. This one could run and run, hopefully not off the runway entirely...

If you have an interesting job, a good story to tell or just want to be a part of this, email us! hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

*Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*

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Episode 52: How did Jesus die? No seriously, how did it happen?

Thu, 05 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We realise in this episode that we've sailed through Easter and not even mentioned it, so the start of Episode 52 involves us taking the time to go back over last weekend's festivities. After that, there's a trip down memory lane involving Nirvana and Dave Grohl before it's EMAIL TIME, which this week involves, silly string, GI Joe/Action Man and arguably the funniest 'stupidest things you've ever heard' OF ALL TIME.

There's time for a quick Mencarta too, so make sure you listen out for that...

Tell us, tell us everything: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We're @lukeandpeteshow on social media too!

*Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*

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Episode 51: Botflies, Bryan Cranston and Gran Turismo 5

Mon, 02 Apr 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Welcome back, LAPSers! It's great to have you back with us, and Happy Monday! This time around, Pete starts you all off with an outrageous admission and then tells us about his recent experiences with Bryan Cranston, star of Breaking Bad. Exciting!

There's a quite frankly pathetic story of a night terror involving a video game, although perhaps not one you'd expect and we also revisit the case of the secret vomiter of a few episodes ago. Next up it's tips for saving money at university, before we round everything off with a truly horrendous tale involving insects and human skin.

To tell us all your darkest secrets, or maybe just what your favourite video game is, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. We're @lukeandpeteshow on social media too!

*Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*

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Episode 50: We have done nothing to commemorate our fiftieth show

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday! You've almost made it through another week, and to commemorate such a momentous effort, let Luke and Pete guide you through around half an hour's worth of chat on the transportation of precious cargo on commercial aircraft, a couple of films that Pete saw at least half of, being responsible with passwords and plenty more.

Listen out for Pete talking quite a lot about his trousers, too. And if that doesn't get you excited, nothing will.

To tell us about your trousers (and indeed anything else), email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 49: Watching Teletubbies from a test tube

Mon, 26 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT

We are absolutely delighted to be back in your ears for another week, and we celebrate that fact with an astonishing reveal about another version of Mencarta that exists elsewhere, a truly remarkable story around IVF treatment, another Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby-related horror story and much more.

Elsewhere we hear about possibly the most resourceful Inuit ever, and get a much-overdue update on Luke's new kitchen. Something for everyone, then.

To get a missive to us, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 48: Super, smashing, great

Thu, 22 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete take time to pay their respects to Sir Ken Dodd, Jim Bowen and Stephen Hawking, all of whom sadly passed away recently. Once we've got that out of the way Pete, who is rapidly turning into Alex Jones' heir apparent, finds the time for another rant and we also get some emails on craft ale, the benefit to the economy of a large-scale sporting event, and the terrifying phenomenon of sleep paralysis.

Before we chip off there's a Mencarta out of leftfield, so make sure to listen out for that, too.

Offers of free lunches, invites to house parties and to give more Japanese lessons to Pete: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 47: An emu should not be living there, it's not right

Mon, 19 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Here we go then, back in the habit assessing the fallout of #craftalegate (something for which Peter is showing no contrition at all), learn that Pete paid an old man a decent amount of money to come to his house and teach him Japanese and hear about a weird and actually quite depressing tale of emus and go-karts.

There's also Moonwalker, Paul Gascoigne antics and the science behind yawning. Pete also goes a touch off-piste about childbirth too, but we suppose there's nothing truly surprising about that.

To bring us gifts: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Episode 46: What's happened to that donkey?

Thu, 15 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

After the craft ale ridiculousness last time around Pete stays true to form and gets drunk on his own at home using Japanese liquor of some description.

Alongside that we hear of another animal partial to the Bolivian Marching Powder, a windy night in Ireland to say the least, and a plane flight that went on for ages for no real reason that we can ascertain.

Oh and one final thing before we go, there's a truly horrific email in here somewhere featuring a man's buttock and so you should probably consider this fair warning.

To send an email in about buttocks or otherwise: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 45: Neckbeards and their craft ale, they make me sick

Mon, 12 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Luke's been to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child but is duty bound to #keepthesecrets, and Pete uses this episode as an opportunity to get right up on his soapbox and rant and rave, Alex Jones-style, about the evils of craft ale, much to Luke's chagrin.

#neckbeards

Speaking of Alex Jones, he gets a decent bit of airtime too, here's hoping YouTube don't give us a strike. Not that we care, we're not even on YouTube.

Elsewhere there's another twist in the acupuncture-does-it-doesn't-it-work saga, we learn more than we'll ever need to know about toxins, and Pete regales us with yet more of his ailments.

To contribute to this madness, bombard us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 44: Undercover police officers, public toilets, and sheep

Thu, 08 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

When you're an experienced police officer, it probably takes a lot to shock you, and you could easily be seduced into thinking that you've seen it all. But, according to one of our listeners, his policeman pal got a lot more than he bargained for one day when following a suspected drug dealer. Listen in to hear the full story...

Elsewhere, we find out about how sheep manage to survive just on grass and there's, of course, another trip back to the now-probably-world-famous Stubbington Study Centre. You just cannot keep that place out of the headlines.

There's loads more besides and if you want to contribute yourself, email us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 43: Poison/venom, Guns n Roses, and the worst Mother's Day present ever

Mon, 05 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Much like Thin Lizzy sang, the boys are indeed back in town and this time they're ruminating on the difference between poison and venom - the toxins, not the 80s bands. Two 80s bands they *are* talking about however, are Guns n Roses and Metallica, so stick around for that.

There's also time to listen to a truly incredible email who bought his mother the *worst* present for Mother's Day that it's possible to imagine and Pete takes it even further into the gutter after that because, well, Pete is as Pete does. What is there left to say?

To be a part of this crazy rollercoaster, it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 42: Childhood fights, boys called Paul and our very own drinking game

Thu, 01 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Did you ever get into a fight as a child? Perhaps you got into more than one. Perhaps you did so with a boy called Paul. Luke did, and he can't be the only one.

Elsewhere, a future hall-of-fame listener informs us of a Luke and Pete Show drinking game that he's developed with his pals, inclusive of a PDF with pretty colours explaining how the whole thing works and we also find time for a truly remarkable email about the burial of a cat.

Tell us about your childhood fighting escapades or your deeply-held pacifism here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 41: How to cook the perfect steak, and the greatest bear of all time

Mon, 26 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Luke opens proceedings on how he likes to cook a steak, much to Pete Donaldson's chagrin and scepticism, before the boys get through *yet another* email about Stubbington Study Centre which almost beggars belief. It feels like the entire south of England has visited there at one time or another.

After lots more of the usual dicking around, we finish the whole foul jamboree with possibly the greatest Mencarta entry in history, all centred around a bear who stumbled upon a pretty sweet find back in the 1980s.

Send us your nonsense: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 40: Black Panther, video games and Pete getting annoyed about gifs

Thu, 22 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Luke's been to see Black Panther (spoiler: he enjoyed it), we hear another Stubbington Study Centre story which is even more bloody exciting than the last one, some amazing new batteries enter the game and, as ever, Pete is able to squeeze in some chat about video games.

Elsewhere the boy Donaldo almost has a full on meltdown on the subject of gifs. If, like Luke, you need some further information on what he was actually talking about, hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com!

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Episode 39: Fleeing from a neutron war and heading for Northampton

Mon, 19 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Rejoice! It's Monday and we're back for another half an hour of life-affirming nonsense from all over the world. This time around we fit in Valentine's Day activities, Pete's problems with the Winter Olympics and a truly amazing straw hat-related tale from a day at the cricket.

There's also more old animals including one that is cheating, frankly, a brilliant pop hit to encourage people to visit a wonderful town in the East Midlands and yet more stories of school trips gone awry.

And Pete's Dad fans can rest easy, as we get a mini-update from that area also.

Review us, rate us, tell us what you think on iTunes or wherever you get your pods, and keep us in material: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Love ya!x

Episode 38: Part vampire, part maths teacher

Thu, 15 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Happy Thursday! We're delighted to be in your ears towards the end of the week for the first time. It feels great.

This time around: Japanese trains and the perverts within them, Pete still has a hard time coming to terms with the age of some animals which manifests itself in the form of a truly horrific anecdote about tortoises, and some of your lovely emails of course.

Thinking about it, have we ever made an episode that *doesn't* feature a truly horrific anecdote from Pete? Probably not.

Get your thoughts to us as soon as humanly possible: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Your reviews are important, so please leave us one on iTunes or your podcast provider of choice. Also, tell your pals!

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Episode 37: A brave new world

Mon, 12 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

The first of a new-look, twice a week Luke and Pete Show muscles into territory as diverse as efficient hydration (Luke), too-tight trousers (Pete, obviously), hemp trousers (Pete again, obviously) and the world's oldest animals. A note of caution, the world's oldest animals section blows Pete's mind to bits and it may well do the same to you. Consider that a warning.

There's also more than enough time to hear from a listener who got himself into a spot of bother in a hotel in Krakow with hilarious consequences, so don't miss that.

Tell us about your hotel or old animal-related problems and issues here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

Leave us a review on iTunes or wherever you get your pods and be in with a chance to become our favourite ever listener! Love you x

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Episode 36: You are now entering Dildo, Newfoundland

Mon, 05 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Your two eponymous antiheroes are back for another episode of LAPS as all the kids are now calling it (pronounced 'LAPS'), and first stop is Pete trying to convince his Dad Stewart to go on holiday with him.

After that, they hop across the Atlantic to visit some of the most questionable place names in the US and Canada after the reveal of King of Prussia last week. There's also enough space in the studio to squeeze in an interesting Mencarta.

A Mencarta involving hats, dockers and a WHOLE LOAD OF FIGHTING. What more do you want?

Your boys are always keen to hear more of your chat, it's our lifeblood. So don't be shy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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The Windsor Knot

Wed, 31 Jan 2018 16:45:31 GMT

Hello you! Pete and Luke here. We've been working on a new show, and we'd love for you to have a listen. It's called The Windsor Knot, and it's a royal wedding podcast.

A royal wedding podcast, made by and made for people who wouldn't exactly call themselves royalists. It's hosted by two incredibly talented men, Daniel Krupa and Joe Skrebels, and honestly - it's as funny as all hell.

Do have a listen, won't you?

Subscribe here: https://t.co/m3LPothtqO

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Episode 35: The Words Show

Mon, 29 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Another week and another themed episode from the chaps, as this time around they get stuck into wordy matters, including yet more children with inadvisable names. We find time for more Steve McQueen and Paul Newman chat too, as well as a decent treatise on Pete's specialist subject - getting drunk at home in your underwear.

There's also good news for the statue enthusiasts among you, so stay tuned for Mencarta.

Episode 34: The Body Show

Mon, 22 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT

It's The Body Show! Luke and Pete received an inordinate amount of emails about the human body this week and so decided to group them together into one handy to listen to episode. But before they get into the nuts and bolts of that, there's the small matter of Japanese films Pete's been watching and Luke's new kitchen.

More oddly-shaped chests are explored as well as the acupuncturing of a dog, but, and here's a warning, this episode also contains a pretty horrific email about the compromising of a man's scrotum. A scrotal episode if you will.

Episode 33: Too much seasoning

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT

We start episode 33 with an insight into Pete 'Donny/PD' Donaldson's utterly confusing approach to timekeeping before running through his recent trip to Krakow in Poland, a city in which he managed to offend a local tour guide with his behaviour in a famous salt mine. And yes, you did read that sentence correctly.

Also in this episode we hear from a listener who has been through a chest procedure that baffles the mind and soul and another friend of the show who has executed possibly the most mind-numbing job imaginable. And make sure you stick around to the very end because we head into Mencarta this week with an entry from the purest and deepest depths of hell.

Suggest ways in which we can avoid hell: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and review our heavenly podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your pods!

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Episode 32: Where I walk is Rome

Mon, 08 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Pete starts episode 32 with a tremendously entertaining actor-based error and after that there's plenty more robot and AI chat following last week's discussion that kicked off 2018. We also take some time to read out your suggested riddle solutions, there are some more great non-translatable foreign words and someone almost kills a Shih Tzu with kindness. But don't worry, no animals were harmed in the making of this episode.

Suggest things for us to do here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com, and leave us a kind review on iTunes or wherever you get your pods! We'll love you forever!

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Episode 31: This is your future, so tether your payload

Mon, 01 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT

Holy Macaroni! We're in the future!

It's 2018 and, as you can probably imagine, this fact dominates proceedings in episode 31. We discuss futuristic things that may or may not happen, Pete interprets his own dreams in quite a simple (and predictable) way, there's a heartfelt tribute to one of the world's great metallic birds and we touch on Paul Newman and Steve McQueen.

Before we chip off for another week there's also a truly astonishing Mencarta, so make sure you stick around for that, too.

Start 2018 off right and leave us a nice review on the Podcasts app or wherever you get your pods, and send us futuristic ideas here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 30: One Elephant Outstanding

Mon, 25 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT

A big hearty Christmas-load of glad tidings to all of our listeners as we release episode 30 of The Luke and Pete Show on Baby Jesus' birthday, no less.

This week, words in other languages that have very specific meanings, Pete's insight into how to become a good continuity announcer on the telly, playing Trivial Pursuit and an incredible, and very specific, emergency call.

Send glad tidings to us and our king: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 29: Tokyo Binge

Mon, 18 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT

Pete is back from his charity trip to Kenya, we hear from more listeners who have 'ruined Christmas', a man who struggled to make jokes while learning English, and an unfortunate soul who self-medicates with onions and insists that it works better than any more traditional remedy.

There's also time for some more Booze Britain chat from a man very close to the franchise and a blast from the past in the shape of turn-of-the-century gross out series Jackass.

Tell us of your Johnny Knoxville-esque daredevil exploits: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 28: Light, Ephemeral, Almost Fruity

Mon, 11 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT

On this week's offering to appease the podcast gods, our eponymous ne'er do wells take in such disparate subject as flat earth rocketmen, wombats and groundhogs, the insect sting pain scale and yet more post office employee tales to savour.

Elsewhere Pete continues to bang the 'speciality video' drum and there is an emailer willing to indulge him, we hear a story about someone who actually won a car in an airport raffle and spend a good amount of time talking about Pete's upcoming trip to Kenya to do some charity work that he doesn't like to talk about.

Send charity our way by emailing hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 27: Special Delivery

Mon, 04 Dec 2017 17:11:44 GMT

This week in your ever so slightly late and ever so slightly postal themed Luke and Pete Show, the boys discuss a truly ridiculous situation in the Post Office, a man whose eyes are frankly high maintenance, a postman in a spot of bother and much more.

We also induct a new Mencartee, and find time to talk about our favourite alcohol-themed reality shows. Boozy.

Toast us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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All apologies

Mon, 04 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT

Admin. Numbers. Who'd have 'em? Allow Peter Marmaduke Donaldson to explain...

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Episode 26: Sex, lies and videos of tapir

Mon, 27 Nov 2017 02:00:00 GMT

In this week's fifty minutes of daftness, we learn of Luke Moore's love of herbivorous mammals, the life-size cabbage patch doll who lives in his house, and Pete learns of a frightful eyesore of a building in Lebanon.

Get in touch via @lukeandpeteshow on twitter, and hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for all your correspondence, which for obvious reasons we can't live without.

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Episode 25: Goblins?

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 02:00:00 GMT

Pete has made a truly disturbing discovery about the very bones that hold literally all of our bodies together, there's some decent discussion about airports and the presence of strange car raffles within them, some more British awkwardness and lots more including more from our egg correspondent.

It's getting to the point now where we don't need to tell you that we have a bit about off-brand batteries in there also, isn't it? Make of that what you will.

Spark us off, be a part of it: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 24: Wake up!

Mon, 13 Nov 2017 02:00:00 GMT

First up, Luke has locked himself out of the house. After that all of you, literally all of you, are sleepwalkers or so it seems. As a result, we trawl through a load of your tales of the mischief you've all got up to while unconscious. There's also time to explore the legal precedent for committing horrific crimes while asleep and subsequently getting away with it.

Basically it's a crime/sleepwalking special.

Do us a favour and, if you like the show, make sure to hit 'subscribe' and leave us a review. Both Luke and Pete would really appreciate it!

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Episode 23: Sunday Brunch with Danny Dyer

Mon, 06 Nov 2017 02:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete are joined by a special guest as writer and broadcaster Rick Edwards pops in to the studio to discuss his new book Science(ish) and whatever other nonsense us and you, the listener, can throw at him. Expect talk about British awkwardness, a fair bit about the science behind movies and why Rick is unlikely to ever become friends with celebrated director Christopher Nolan.

Oh, there's also plenty of battery chat (obviously), the possibility that we're all living in a huge simulation, and a bit about why Rick has no sense of smell...

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Episode 22: Egg Security

Mon, 30 Oct 2017 02:00:00 GMT

This week on the loosest show in town our eponymous heroes follow up on last week's battery chat with several of your example cells, and bloody enjoyable they are too. Elsewhere we chat Ridley Scott, provincial towns, sleepwalking with bizarre consequences and the natural coating one can find on an egg. Oh, and a Luke and Pete Show legend actually makes a contribution to It's Been as well and it's all very exciting...

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Episode 21: Plastic Terry

Mon, 23 Oct 2017 01:00:00 GMT

The boys are in a brand new studio and have headaches due the tightness of their headphones. You'll be pleased to know though, dear listener, that they both press on regardless. A pair of true pros.On the agenda this week - CDT teachers with kit cars, sanding one's own hands by accident, a visit to Hamburg, odd brands of batteries and a truly horrific version of the It's Been theme sent in by a listener. Trust us, it really has to be heard to be believed.There's also loads more besides, including your emails about how weepy you all are. Bless your hearts.Make us cry: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 20: Groovy Baby, Oh Yeah!

Mon, 16 Oct 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Luke and Pete are back and Pete is dressed as Edward Scissorhands, an outfit that garnered him great feedback from none other than Tim Burton himself, Luke has been to the Crystal Maze and there's plenty of tim to get stuck into Richard Gere, obviously.If that's not enough to sink your teeth into, we have an email about a family Christmas dinner that will make you question the very concept of the nuclear family and Pete fills us in on Japanese mummies. To send us pictures of your own self-mummification, or anything else: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 19: Rotisserie Alex

Mon, 09 Oct 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Pete's back! That should be all you need to know really, but in episode 19 you can also hear all about the following subjects:- Samurai swords- Dads- Calling up communal phones in rural Ireland- Encryption- Ann Summers- Traditional Japanese hotelsIf you can't find something in that lot to enjoy then there really is no hope for you, dear listener!Fill us in on what we're missing: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 18: Turning 27

Mon, 02 Oct 2017 01:00:00 GMT

A generation-defining episode, a coming-of-age if you will. We've hit 18! Lots to get excited about here including a very special guest familiar to those who attend the Luke and Pete parish regularly.But don't fear all the change, there's still plenty of old favourites to sink your teeth into - IT'S BEEN, crap jobs (including a monumental 'I quit' story), Mencarta and lots, lots more.Validate us, give us new ideas or generally moan about something here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 17: Every Single Photo Had the Eyes Cut Out

Sun, 24 Sep 2017 23:00:00 GMT

Pete announces to the world his catchphrase and then tells us all about the best dog ever (apart from possibly the one last week that was friends with a dolphin).The boys then take us all through a Bad Job/Good Job email special from listeners, including a truly horrific washing machine delivery, before telling some tall tales about terrible jobs of their own.To offer us a terrible job, email here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 16: Dougie the Dolphin

Sun, 17 Sep 2017 01:00:00 GMT

A dog has become friends with a dolphin in Ireland and it's a big hit with Pete. While all that's been going on, Luke's fitted a new car stereo (which is only marginally more interesting than it sounds) and there's more fierce debate about the calorie content of Guinness.And if all that wasn't enough, someone does something unspeakable with a big spoon and some chocolate pudding. And for once, it wasn't Pete.To send us chocolate pudding, or Guinness: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 15: Conversation Lozenges

Mon, 11 Sep 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Luke's been to Atlanta checking out whale sharks, and while he was there Pete was back in the good ol' UK judging a dog competition with an 80s pop star despite never owning a dog in his entire life and not knowing any of the breeds. It's great work if you can get it.Meanwhile, the boys also talk about the origins of Lovehearts as well as everyone's favourite tongue-replacing parasite. And don't worry, these two things are unrelated.Bother us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 14: I Like a Squeeze Too Sometimes

Mon, 04 Sep 2017 01:00:00 GMT

What did you learn in home economics at school? What did you have from the vending machine after you went swimming? But you know what they say, nostalgia isn't what it used to be, so there's also enough space in the Luke and Pete audio bubble to chat about your most awkward family dinner incidents and a mysterious and unsolved death in Australia in the 1940s which Pete appears to be obsessed with.To solve the crime or just let us know regrettable things you've said at the dinner table hit us up: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 13: Good Luck/Bad Luck

Mon, 28 Aug 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Pete's done Luke a solid and prepared the show on his behalf, and if that doesn't worry you it really should.This time around the boys hang their chat on the loosest of themes but it means they take in such compelling subjects as marble racing, the geology of south London, shipwrecks (again), atomic bombs (yes really, yet again) and torture techniques.In retrospect, talking for ten minutes about torture isn't the most pleasant of listens but the world isn't all rainbows and unicorns buddy, so deal with it.To bring something to the table, say hello here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 12: Shark Turns Oven On

Mon, 21 Aug 2017 01:00:00 GMT

There's enough chat about chocolate bars to sink a battleship (hopefully without an unlucky Uruguayan onboard), Luke tells a frankly quite horrendous story about a fox - so consider that fair warning - and, sticking with the nature theme, there appear to be frogs and ants playing host to a range of parasites.There's also enough time for a couple of listeners to chime in about one of 1999's most controversial films and yet another email about you know what. Please stop sending them in.Email us about literally anything else here though: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 11: Get Your Tintagel Out

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Luke's been to Cornwall and discovered a giant goat (with a huge penis) in an exceptionally well laid out museum, and Pete brings two vocal record-breakers to the table, with differing results.There's also time to hear about a truly horrific mental disorder courtesy of one of our listeners, and we round off the show by heading to sea for the newest Mencarta induction.We love hearing from you, so say hello here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 10: Pulling Skids Outside the Butchers

Mon, 07 Aug 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Pete's been blowing up 'a surprisingly small amount of Hartlepool' with a make-believe nuclear bomb, Luke's talking about riding bikes in the 1980s a la Stranger Things, and the boys ruminate on etiquette when riding in the back of a taxi.Meanwhile they discover a real-life Tyrion Lannister, hear about a man who cleans his petrol station forecourt with a popular soft drink, and find out why lions are confused by chairs.Holler at your boys: hello@lukeandpeteshow.comWe. Love. You. Mother.

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Episode 9: I Would Not Like to Have My Own Personal Lift

Mon, 31 Jul 2017 01:00:00 GMT

A man who only eats roadkill dominates proceedings this week, as Pete spends a large part of the show complaining about his neck. It's starting to become a problem part of his body and he's also worried about curvature of the spine. Osteopaths, get in touch!Meanwhile, someone has discovered a creepy radio station that only broadcasts callsigns interspersed with a woman screaming, someone wants advice about higher education from a man who spent his university years playing bad computer games and listening to Macy Gray (Pete) and a man who is starting to not bother to dress himself properly (Luke). Also, John Titor, Dunkirk, a man getting drunk on a plane (again) and a load of other old rubbish. Deal with it.

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Episode 8: Next Week on Dragons' Den

Mon, 24 Jul 2017 01:00:00 GMT

After the chaos of the email special, our two pals head back to more familiar territory and discuss recent visits to the good ol' United States of America and the Western Isles of Scotland, including the truly fascinating tale of St Kilda.There's also time to talk about the link between small people and anger issues, an impromptu Duncan Bannatyne set piece, and yet another truly bizarre YouTube channel courtesy of Mr Pete Donaldson.You, yes you, can contribute to this by getting in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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Episode 7: An Email Special!

Mon, 17 Jul 2017 01:00:00 GMT

After being bombarded with an extraordinary amount of correspondence, Luke and Pete decide to take you all on and get through as many as they can in one episode.So, expect chat about accidentally hitting animals in the car, motion sickness, virtual reality, animals in the army, living in the Vietnamese jungle for over 40 years and, among other things, the time Pete's Dad put a snooker table in the family's front room.To enable us further, get in touch here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 6: Selling a Gameboy to a Squirrel

Mon, 10 Jul 2017 01:00:00 GMT

This time around the boys rake over the old 'barrel roll in a plane' conundrum again, because some conversations just will not die. They also find time to contemplate disappearing into the woods for 27 years, and a listener gets in touch claiming to have once superglued his own mouth shut.Again, something for everyone there. And if you can't find anything to like in that lot then stick around because there's also talk about the horrific public execution of an elephant. Say hello: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 5: Opened Up Like a Chrysanthemum

Mon, 03 Jul 2017 01:00:00 GMT

In the fifth instalment of Luke and Pete's Summer, the Little and Large of the podcasting world discuss museum exhibitions, knuckle dusters and setting fire to a million quid.They also find time - with the help of a listener - to rationally explain the existence of ghosts. So listen and never be frightened again. Of ghosts. I mean, there are other things to be scared of, of course. Like Pete. Say hello: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 4: I Didn't Go Down to the Lightning Strike Bureau

Mon, 26 Jun 2017 01:00:00 GMT

Why are a group of local men trying to find millions of missing rubles in a disused rocket mine in Russia? Why are loads of sheep knocking about an island off of the coast of Scotland with cardboard wings on their back?And how would Pete and his annoying older brother Luke survive if the world ended, and what skills would they need? PS We also talk about nut allergies and getting hit by lightning, so there's that. Thinking about it, we packed a lot into this one.Say hello: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com And how are we still hearing about animals being used in war?

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Episode 3: What's That Wasp Doing in My Fig?

Mon, 19 Jun 2017 01:00:00 GMT

What the hell is a long egg? Are there secret items available for purchase at the world's best fast food restaurants? And why was Pete being fed like a bird by a man in a KFC?It's an impromptu food special, everyone! But don't worry, there's still time to read some more of your emails and talk at length about the great Buzz Aldrin. You'd honestly be quite careless to miss it!Download, subscribe, listen, enjoy! And say hello:hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 2: Never Go Into Your Stepdad's Study

Sun, 11 Jun 2017 23:01:00 GMT

What happens when a bird flies into your house? Why is a man on the internet filming himself eating the oldest things he can find? What do you do when you use your step-dad's computer and discover something unspeakable? And how long can a chicken live without a head?Just four of the questions Luke and Pete attempt to answer in their own inimitable style for the sophomore episode of Luke and Pete's Summer. Strap yourselves in.Say hello! hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Episode 1: Japanese Ghosts and a Surplus of Molasses

Sun, 04 Jun 2017 23:01:00 GMT

In the very first episode of Luke and Pete's Summer, our two eponymous heroes take a rip-roaring tour around Pete's favourite Japanese ghosts (including one that performs a horrendous act upon its victims), suggest the type of correspondence they want from you, the listener, and bring their ideas to the table for an all-new encyclopedia CD-Rom, including a frankly ridiculous incident that befell the poor people of Boston in the early 20th century.Say hello! hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Luke and Pete's Summer: Coming 5th June!

Thu, 01 Jun 2017 10:30:00 GMT

Join Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson every Monday as they spend the summer pulling on the threads of the universe and revelling in the discovery of where each one takes them.From ancient history and modern phenomena to the week's events and everything in between, Luke and Pete's Summer is your chance to share in the fun of two men with time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it.

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