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The Cost of Authenticity in Old and New Relationships

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 17:46:52 GMT

In this solo episode of Define Normal, host Shelbi explores the challenges of balancing past friendships with her present identity. Growing up in the predominantly white, conservative suburbs of Dayton, Ohio, meant navigating spaces where she couldn’t fully express herself. Now, as a Black woman living in New York City, Shelbi reflects on how she’s showing up authentically for the first time and how that’s impacted her relationships.

She shares the concept of archival friendships—relationships formed in earlier stages of life—and discusses the tension that arises when her newer friends struggle to understand those connections. Shelbi also opens up about feeling judged for her past self while embracing the freedom to define her normal.

If you’ve ever felt torn between your past and present selves or grappling with the complexities of evolving friendships, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

Friendship Breakup episode of Table Pancakes

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Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

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Get in touch! You can email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Why 27 Feels So Weird: Navigating the Quarter-Life Crisis

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 11:00:00 GMT

Are you in your late twenties and feeling like life just got weird? You're not alone. It's an age where you're caught between the carefree days of early adulthood and the pressure to have life figured out. In this solo episode of Define Normal, Shelbi explores why this age is such a turning point and shares lessons she's learned with the benefit of hindsight at 31.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

Why 27 feels like a second coming-of-age.
The emotional tug-of-war between youthful freedom and adult responsibilities.
What I wish I had known at 27 that could have saved me so much stress.
How to embrace the discomfort of growing into the next version of yourself.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exploring Family Values with My Dad: Ray Jones on Career Lessons, Confidence, and Generational Wisdom

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 11:00:25 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi sits down with her Dad, Ray, to discuss the foundations of family values, career growth, and personal and professional identity evolution. Through heartfelt stories, Ray reflects on his upbringing in a close-knit family in New Orleans and the role of education in shaping his life's journey. He shares defining moments in his career, the challenges and joys of parenthood, and his experience raising adult children.

Together, Shelbi and Ray explore generational dynamics, examining how communication between parents and children has transformed over time. They discuss shifts in parenting styles, the significance of cultural identity, and how self-worth and confidence are essential for overcoming life's challenges. Ray shares the importance of family connections in today's fast-paced, dispersed world and his pride in watching the next generation achieve their dreams. The conversation also touches on how dreams and aspirations evolve, the impact of open dialogue, and the legacy of resilience passed down within their family.

Tune in for an episode filled with generational wisdom, reflections on cultural identity, and inspiring insights on family bonds and life's evolving journey.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bracing Ourselves: Reflections on Election Day and the Call to Keep Going

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 18:01:50 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi reflects on her Election Day experience, recounting how she approached the day with quiet determination. She describes casting her vote, filling her day with moments of comfort and connection, and bracing herself for the results as they trickled in. This time, unlike in 2016, she wasn’t shocked—just resolved to keep moving forward, anchored by a sense of purpose.

Shelbi also shares a reading of Saeed Jones's Substack piece, Take a Beat and Breathe with Me. Jones's words remind us that even when times are challenging, each of us has a unique role to play. “If this country really is a house on fire, we chose to live out our lives here because we are water,” he writes, inspiring listeners to believe in the impact they can make.

Later in the episode, Shelbi welcomes three friends to discuss their thoughts on the election. They cover topics including:

Key issues that mattered most to them this election

How this election season felt different compared to others

Their hopes and expectations for the changes and conversations they want to see moving forward

Shelbi closes the episode with a call to action, reminding listeners that the work must go on. She believes that everyone has something essential to contribute and is uniquely positioned to make a difference.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

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Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Nightlife and Community: Liam Rogers on How Queer Spaces Shape Belonging and Expression

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 10:00:26 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi and Liam dive into the complex world of nightlife, examining its unique role as a space for freedom, healing, and community—especially within queer and marginalized groups. Together, they unpack nightlife as a form of therapeutic release and the balancing act between work and play, underscoring the need for unstructured, liberating fun.

Liam opens up about his journey with alcohol, sharing how his relationship with drinking has evolved. The conversation highlights the importance of spaces that foster belonging, expression, and solidarity, contrasting the sense of community found in queer and POC-centered spaces with the often less inclusive environments of predominantly straight, white nightlife.

Shelbi and Liam also compare the party scenes in Berlin and New York City, discussing how factors like work-life balance, social safety nets, and even Germany's spa culture contribute to a more relaxed European nightlife approach. They explore the recent shifts in NYC nightlife, with a growing embrace of carefree, inclusive party spaces that celebrate genuine connection and self-expression.

The episode also explores how technology and social media have reshaped the nightlife scene, impacting social interactions and the club experience. Shelbi and Liam discuss the shift in social habits following the pandemic, including a decline in going out and evolving social norms among younger generations. As they wrap up, they reflect on the importance of reconnecting with the roots of nightlife culture to create authentic connections.

Find Liam Online:

Instagram

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Greedy and Proud: Jen Winston on Bisexuality, Identity, and Representation

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 10:00:47 GMT

Before the interviews from this season, there are two episodes from the April 2023 archives to post. This episode is the second interview of the two.

In this conversation, Jen Winston delves into her memoir Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much, exploring her coming-out journey and the potential for adapting her memoir into a TV series. She reflects on the critical importance of bisexual representation and the complexities surrounding identity while weaving social issues into her narrative. Jen addresses critiques of her work and shares her thoughts on the shifting landscape of bisexual visibility in media. She opens up about her experiences with open relationships, navigating the intersections of sexuality and patriarchy, and the crucial role that communication plays in social justice. Jen also discusses her evolving relationship with queer sexuality and the impact of pornography on sexual education and introduces her forthcoming fiction, which examines themes of maternal ambivalence. Throughout the conversation, she highlights the vital role of community and empathy in the bisexual experience.

Find Jen Online:

Buy a copy of Greedy

Instagram

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Unpacking Creativity: Cole Habersham on Dating, Writing, and Self-Discovery

Wed, 16 Oct 2024 11:18:31 GMT

Before the interviews from this season, there are two episodes from the archives to post. This interview is from April 2023.

In this conversation, Cole Habersham shares his journey as a writer and creator, discussing the evolution of his writing, the vulnerability involved in sharing personal stories, and the impact of social media on his life. He reflects on his transition from New York to LA, the importance of community, and the dynamics of dating in different cities. Cole emphasizes the significance of intentionality in both friendships and creative pursuits while navigating the complexities of self-discovery and personal growth. Shelbi and Cole discuss the nuances of online dating, particularly the differences between New York and LA dating cultures. They explore Cole's creative aspirations, including his goal to write a novel and his current writing projects. The discussion also delves into faith and spirituality, consumerism in fashion, and the importance of sharing one's voice and experiences. Throughout the conversation, they emphasize the significance of self-expression and the empowerment of embracing one's creativity.

Find Cole Online:

TikTok

Substack

Instagram

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

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State of the Union: Shelbi Returns to Define Normal

Wed, 09 Oct 2024 12:32:17 GMT

In this solo episode, Shelbi returns to the Define Normal podcast after taking a hiatus in February 2023. In this "State of the Union" update, Shelbi reflects on the whirlwind of life changes she's experienced over the past year and a half, from navigating her 20s and dealing with burnout to stepping into her 30s with newfound clarity and purpose.

Shelbi opens up about the challenges and growth of being laid off from Clubhouse, the launch and pause of her friendship-focused podcast Table Pancakes, and why she felt a powerful pull to come back to Define Normal.

The conversation dives into the powerful concept of quitting—why it's often viewed negatively and how it has become one of Shelbi’s most liberating decisions. She shares that quitting isn't a sign of failure but a catalyst for fresh starts, self-discovery, and critical reflection.

Listeners will hear real conversations about burnout, career pivots, and learning to let go of things that no longer serve them. Shelbi also announces that Define Normal is transitioning to a seasonal format. This will give her the time to produce thoughtful episodes with incredible guests while staying connected with her audience through weekly Substack posts during the off-season.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Recap of the Generation Women Show & Thoughts on Turning 30, Friendship, and Sensitivity

Thu, 09 Feb 2023 04:49:31 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones briefly recaps her experience performing at the Generation Women show. She reflects on the power of storytelling and how the event allowed her to connect with other women across generations.

The episode then delves into her thoughts on turning 30, discussing the reflections and growth of entering a new decade of life. She also shares her feelings on friendship and the vulnerability of being sensitive, touching on a TikTok video she created about the topic.

Key Links Mentioned in the Episode:

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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My Generation Women Retreat Experience & Upcoming Show Preview

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 16:05:21 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on her transformative experience at the Generation Women writing retreat in the Catskills. She shares the highs and lows of the retreat, including the sense of community it fostered and the challenges she faced around her identity as a writer.

The episode also delves into her struggles with defining herself as a writer and what it means to embrace that identity fully. The host discusses the value of connecting with fellow writers and the power of storytelling as a means of self-discovery.

To wrap up, she shares exciting news about performing at the Generation Women show on 2/2 at Joe’s Pub, giving listeners a sneak peek into the story she’ll be sharing.

Generation Women is a multigenerational storytelling series that amplifies underheard voices by inviting performers across generations to share original true stories on themes that foster intergenerational connection and community.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Exploring Therapy, Gender Roles, and Sexuality with Shelley Eisenberg

Wed, 25 Jan 2023 11:00:13 GMT

In this week's episode, host Shelbi Jones is joined by Shelley Eisenberg, a provisionally licensed clinical psychologist, for an insightful conversation on therapy, sexuality, gender roles, and the barriers to seeking help. Shelley shares her expertise and perspective on the evolving norms in therapy, addressing key topics that shape the therapeutic process today.

They discuss:

The evolving norms in therapy and how therapy has changed in response to societal shifts
Exploring sexuality and gender roles within the context of therapy and why it’s essential to feel safe and understood when discussing these topics.
Shelley’s thoughts on why some people aren’t quite ready to try therapy and how stigma can play a role in delaying mental health support.
The therapeutic process is from a psychological perspective, and what can clients expect in a therapy session?

Shelley offers valuable insights into the therapeutic journey and how individuals can overcome barriers to mental health support, helping listeners feel more empowered in their mental health journeys.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Melissa Hougland Talks Egg Freezing: The Process, Cost, and What to Expect

Wed, 18 Jan 2023 18:18:53 GMT

In this week's episode, host Shelbi Jones is joined by Melissa Hougland to share her journey through egg freezing. Melissa opens up about her personal experience, providing valuable insights into the entire process—from finding the right doctor to administering shots, managing the cost, and the emotional aspects of the journey.

They discuss:

How Melissa found the right fertility doctor and navigated her options
The step-by-step process of egg freezing, including administering shots and what to expect during the procedure
The financial costs involved and how Melissa managed them
Emotional highs and lows throughout the journey and her advice for others considering egg-freezing
The importance of planning and seeking support during the process

Melissa also shares her words of wisdom for anyone who is thinking about freezing their eggs, emphasizing the significance of understanding the process and taking control of their fertility.

Follow Melissa on Instagram: @dontmissmelis

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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A Conversation with Elaine Thompson: From Interior Design to Entrepreneurship

Wed, 11 Jan 2023 11:00:00 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones sits down with Elaine Thompson, a New York-based interior designer and the founder of Pistachio Designs. Elaine’s work has been featured in The New York Times, Rue Magazine, and Apartment Therapy. She decorated Shelbi's last two rental apartments, making this conversation even more exciting!

They discuss:

Elaine’s journey into entrepreneurship and the world of interior design.
The challenges and joys of owning a design business in New York.
Elaine’s unique design style, sources of inspiration, and where she finds the best pieces for her clients.
Tips for decorating a home, especially in rental spaces.
The evolution of interior design trends and how Elaine stays inspired.

Elaine also shares her experience of turning her passion for design into a successful business and offers advice for anyone considering a career in interior design or entrepreneurship.

Follow Elaine on Instagram: @pistachiodesigns

Check out Pistachio Designs: pistachiodesigns.com

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Baaaaack! What to Expect in 2023

Tue, 03 Jan 2023 11:00:43 GMT

Shelbi is back and ready to kick off the year with exciting updates in this solo episode! She shares what’s been top of mind for 2023, reflecting on personal goals and what listeners can expect from the Define Normal podcast in the upcoming weeks.

Shelbi gives a sneak peek into the upcoming season, highlighting new themes, powerful conversations, and the incredible guests who will join her on the show. This episode sets the tone for what’s to come as she dives deeper into authenticity, self-discovery, and navigating life's many transitions.

Tune in for an update on what’s next and a look into Shelbi’s vision for the podcast in 2023!

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Define Normal: All About Love

Thu, 24 Mar 2022 03:33:31 GMT

In this episode, I am virtually joined by my friend Kevin Satterfield (@seventh_kevin) as we discuss the book All About Love by Bell Hooks.

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A Conversation with Grandmommy, Sadie Robinson: Lessons from My Maternal Grandmother

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 19:31:17 GMT

In this exceptional episode, host Shelbi Jones sits down with her maternal grandmother, Sadie Robinson, affectionately known as Grandmommy, to reflect on her incredible life journey.

Together, they discuss Sadie's upbringing in Jackson, TN, her career, and her most proud achievements. The conversation also delves into the generational shifts in technology and how Sadie has stayed up to date with the ever-changing digital world.

This heartwarming episode offers a unique opportunity to hear wisdom and stories passed down through generations, exploring an inspiring matriarch's resilience, work ethic, and adaptability. Whether through personal anecdotes, life lessons, or her enduring curiosity about the digital world, Sadie's story is a beautiful reminder of the importance of family, legacy, and embracing change.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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The Power of a Crush List

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 03:47:15 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones discusses making a crush list inspired by a TikTok from @tinx. Shelbi also discusses how a crush often stems from a lack of information and how we can romanticize people simply because we don’t know them well.

This episode explores the reasons behind crushes, the excitement of the unknown, and how curiosity can fuel attraction. The host explains how creating a crush list—a simple yet impactful way to clarify your feelings—can help put the process of attraction into perspective.

Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on relationships, self-awareness, and how identifying the core reasons behind a crush can help us grow, connect, and better understand our desires.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Navigating Identity in Predominantly White Spaces: A Conversation with Ade Adeshoye

Wed, 23 Feb 2022 19:48:20 GMT

For the final episode of Black History Month, host Shelbi Jones sits down with Ade Adeshoye to discuss his unique experiences growing up in Bethesda, MD, attending a prestigious boarding school and, later, his time at Northwestern University and Yale.

Ade opens up about how being raised in predominantly white, affluent environments shaped his identity and sense of self, as well as the challenges and triumphs of navigating these spaces as a Black person. He reflects on the role of privilege, racial identity, and cultural assimilation during his education and how it influenced his journey.

This episode touches on belonging, self-discovery, and empowerment themes in spaces not necessarily designed for people like Ade. Tune in for a robust discussion on how education, race, and environment intersect to shape who we become.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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From Tech to the Kitchen: A Conversation with Anicia Ngozi, Founder of @KidsTableNY

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 04:59:01 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by Anicia Ngozi (@aniciangozi), personal chef and founder of @KidsTableNY. Anicia opens up about her inspiring journey from the world of tech to becoming a sought-after personal chef in New York City. She shares her experience working with high-profile families and how she navigated the transition to entrepreneurship.

The conversation dives into the challenges and rewards of building a business in the culinary world, Anicia’s unique approach to cooking, and her mission to create memorable dining experiences for families.

Please tune in to learn how Anicia's background in tech shaped her approach to the food industry, her advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, and how she’s making an impact in the world of culinary arts.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Fifteen Percent Pledge & Black-Owned Brands: A Conversation with Tyshaia Earnest

Thu, 10 Feb 2022 02:08:52 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by Tyshaia Earnest (@tyshaia), Marketing and Communications Manager for the Fifteen Percent Pledge. Tyshaia takes us through her journey from studying Fashion Merchandising at Kent State University to working for Nordstrom's buying team in Seattle. Now, she advocates for racial equity in retail through her role at the Pledge.

Tyshaia and the host dive deep into the Fifteen Percent Pledge, discussing the retailers who have committed to the cause and those who could be doing more to support Black-owned businesses.

The conversation wraps up with Tyshaia sharing her favorite Black-owned brands, highlighting the impact of conscious consumerism. This episode offers valuable insights into the fashion industry, corporate responsibility, and the power of supporting Black entrepreneurs.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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New York, New Beginnings: Adjusting to Change Post-Pandemic

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 04:25:26 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on the shifts in New York City since she left and her experience adjusting to her new neighborhood. From the changes to the city itself to the reality of friends leaving the city and the ongoing impacts of the pandemic, she shares her journey of navigating a transformed environment.

This episode touches on the challenges and opportunities of moving to a new area, the feeling of change in a post-pandemic world, and the importance of finding a sense of community and belonging amidst all the upheaval. Please tune in for a thoughtful exploration of how we’re all adjusting to a new normal, wherever we may be.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Agree to Disagree: West Elm Caleb, Dating, and Hot Takes with Tony Francis & AK

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 04:59:13 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones and her friend Tony Francis (@tonyfrancisv) discuss the controversial figure West Elm Caleb and share differing opinions on his impact on the dating world. They also discuss current dating trends, how social media influences romance, and where things stand for singles in today’s climate.

To spice things up, Tony’s friend AK (@shotsfromtheak) joins them. AK offers a few hot takes on the topic, adding fresh perspectives to the conversation. Recorded live on Clubhouse, this episode promises lively debate and entertaining insights on navigating love in the digital age.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Why Discipline is My Theme of 2022: A Solo Reflection

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 04:50:21 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on the theme of discipline for 2022. She explores why she chose discipline as her guiding principle for the year and how it ties into her personal and professional growth. With a focus on building better habits, setting clear goals, and staying committed to her vision, this episode offers valuable insights into how discipline can transform the year ahead.

Tune in for a personal exploration of discipline, why it matters, and how it can change all areas of life.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Casual Instagram: The Realities of Performative Posts & Influencers ft. Yesenia, Domenic, Tony & Will

Wed, 12 Jan 2022 18:09:50 GMT

In this experimental episode, host Shelbi Jones comes to you live from Clubhouse, joined by co-worker and friend Yesenia (@yeseniaxvargas), to explore the phenomenon of Casual Instagram. They dive deep into their personal experiences with the platform, discussing the fine line between authenticity and performative posting. The conversation also tackles influencer culture and how Instagram has shaped our online presence.

Joining the discussion are special guests Domenic Iniguez (@dominic), Tony Francis (@tonyfrancisv), and Will Weinbach (@weinbach), who share their thoughts on how Instagram influences their lives, both personally and professionally.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Casual Instagram: The trend of effortless, authentic posts vs. curated perfection
Performative Posting: How Instagram encourages the display of curated realities
Influencer Culture: The role of influencers and its impact on personal identity
Clubhouse Collaboration: A new live format experiment with dynamic conversations

Tune in for an honest conversation about Instagram's role in shaping identity and the blurred lines between reality and performance.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2021 in Review & My Big Goal for 2022

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 17:50:41 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones discusses taking a break from the podcast and the reasons behind the pause. Reflecting on the highs and lows of 2021, the host discusses the lessons learned and personal growth experienced throughout the year. This episode also includes a sneak peek into the host's main goal for 2022 and the plans for moving forward.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jess & Adam: Navigating Relationships, Parenting, and Blending Families

Thu, 21 Oct 2021 06:59:34 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Jess and her fiancé, Adam, to explore their relationship and how Adam's son, Chance, from his previous marriage, has shaped their dynamic. Jess shares her experience of developing a bond with Chance, adjusting to her role as a bonus mom, and learning the ins and outs of parenting. Adam opens up about dating after divorce, when he knew it was right for Jess to meet Chance, and offers advice for others navigating similar situations.

The trio also discusses their upcoming wedding plans, the possibility of having more children, and the unique challenges and joys of blending families.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

The evolution of Jess and Adam’s relationship
Jess’s experience becoming a bonus mom and learning to parent
Adam’s perspective on dating after divorce and introducing Jess to Chance
Advice for others navigating relationships and blended families
Their wedding plans and thoughts on having more children
The joys and challenges of blending families

Tune in for an honest and heartfelt conversation about relationships, parenting, and the complexities of blending families.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ben Helms on Fashion, Fast Fashion, and Male Accessories

Thu, 14 Oct 2021 15:18:00 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Ben Helms to discuss his perspective on fashion. They talk about everything from fast fashion to essential male accessories and the evolution of Ben's style. Known for sharing his stylish outfits on Instagram (@bennyhunnaz) and being featured on the popular InstagramThrowing Fits, Ben’s fashion sense has garnered attention for being on point.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Ben’s journey and evolution in personal style
Fast fashion and its impact on the industry
Must-have male accessories and how to elevate your outfits
Designers and brands that inspire Ben's fashion choices
How social media has influenced men's fashion trends

Tune in for an insightful conversation about men's fashion, personal style, and how creativity shapes how men approach clothing and accessories today.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15+ Years of Friendship with Rachel Caudill: Navigating Breakups, Growing Pains, and the Power of Honest Conversations

Wed, 08 Sep 2021 16:28:43 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Rachel Caudill to reflect on their 15+ year friendship. From middle school to navigating breakups, college moves to new cities, weddings, and losing family members, they’ve weathered many life changes together. In this heartfelt conversation, they dive into the challenges and rifts that have tested their bond and the critical, honest discussions that ultimately strengthened their friendship.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

The evolution of a friendship through significant life events
How breakups, loss, and life transitions have shaped their connection
The struggles and rifts that come with long-term friendships
The power of open and honest conversations in mending relationships
What they’ve learned about friendship, forgiveness, and growth over the years

This episode celebrates long-lasting friendships and the strength it takes to overcome hurdles with the people who have seen you at your best and worst.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leaning Into Softness: Vulnerability in Friendship and Embracing My Feelings

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 04:56:59 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones explores her evolving relationship with softness and vulnerability, particularly within friendship. She reflects on how openly embracing her emotions has reshaped her connections and helped her cultivate more profound, meaningful bonds. Shelbi discusses the importance of letting down walls and how leaning into vulnerability has become an intentional practice in her life.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Shelbi's evolving relationship with softness and embracing vulnerability
The impact of being vulnerable in friendships and the power of emotional connection
Why leaning into feelings is a transformative practice for growth
The challenges and rewards of being open and honest with close friends
How softness and vulnerability are not weaknesses but sources of strength

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of vulnerability, emotional growth, and the importance of nurturing authentic friendships through openness and honesty.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Big Life Update: Leaving Meta for Clubhouse!

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 14:52:56 GMT

In this exciting solo episode, host Shelbi Jones shares a significant life update—she's leaving her role at Meta to join the fast-growing tech startup Clubhouse! Lena dives into the details of this career transition, reflecting on her journey at Meta and what drew her to Clubhouse’s media partnerships team. She discusses what this new chapter means for her professionally and personally and how it aligns with her passions for innovation, media, and technology.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Shelbi's decision to leave Meta after her time there and the journey that led her to Clubhouse
The role she’ll be taking at Clubhouse and why it’s a perfect fit for her career goals
How does this transition align with her values and interests in tech, media, and creativity?
She discusses the challenges and excitement of joining a startup and what she hopes to accomplish.
Insights into navigating career transitions and embracing new opportunities

This episode is a reflection on embracing change, making bold career moves, and listening to your instincts, which can open new doors in unexpected ways.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

COVID-19 Breakthrough Cases: My Sister and I Share Our Stories

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 20:24:21 GMT

In this candid episode, host Shelbi Jones is joined by her sister, Sydney Jones, to discuss their recent breakthrough diagnoses of COVID-19. As the Delta variant spreads, the two share their personal experiences with the virus, including their symptoms, what they were doing before testing positive, and how they’re navigating recovery. They also dive into their thoughts on the anti-vaccine movement and what they each have in their COVID-19 survival kits.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Shelbi and Sydney’s personal experiences with COVID-19 breakthrough cases
Symptoms, recovery process, and how the Delta variant has affected their experience
Their thoughts on anti-vaxxers and navigating the current pandemic climate
What’s in their COVID survival kits: essentials for staying safe and comfortable during illness
How they’ve stayed positive during this challenging time and supported each other through recovery

This episode is a raw and honest look at the challenges of dealing with COVID-19 in the age of breakthrough cases, the importance of staying informed, and how family support plays a crucial role in navigating such an experience.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Quitting My Job...But Not Sharing Where Yet

Thu, 05 Aug 2021 03:59:19 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones opens up about deciding to leave her job and embark on a new chapter in her career. While she’s not revealing the details just yet, Lena dives into the emotional journey of quitting her 9-to-5, the challenges of navigating uncertainty, and the excitement of stepping into the unknown. She reflects on what this transition means for her personal growth and how she's preparing for what’s next.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Shelbi's decision to leave her job and take the leap toward something new
The process of stepping away from the comfort of a stable job and navigating uncertainty
What quitting her job symbolizes in terms of personal growth and future opportunities
The excitement and challenges of not yet knowing what the future holds
Managing the emotional aspects of making such a significant change

This episode offers a raw and honest look at the transition between chapters in life and the leap of faith it takes to leave a job and pursue something new. Stay tuned for the big reveal soon!

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Living with Ulcerative Colitis: Sam Kraus’ Journey with Diagnosis, Surgery, and Recovery

Wed, 21 Jul 2021 16:43:08 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones sits down with Sam Kraus to discuss his Ulcerative Colitis (UC) journey. Sam opens up about his experience from the initial diagnosis to the difficult decision to get an Ileostomy, sharing the emotional and physical challenges that came with it. Together, they discuss his recovery process, how his relationship with food has changed post-surgery and the isolation that can come with living with a chronic illness.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Sam’s experience with Ulcerative Colitis and how it affected his daily life
The decision-making process and emotional journey behind getting an Ileostomy
Post-surgery recovery and how Sam adjusted to his new lifestyle
Navigating the relationship with food after surgery and how it’s impacted his health
The loneliness and isolation that can accompany living with a chronic illness
Advice for others facing similar health challenges

Sam's story is one of resilience and strength, offering valuable insight into life with a chronic illness and how to find a sense of normalcy and healing post-surgery.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Growing Up Biracial: Identity, Race, and Body Image with Michelle Botomogno

Thu, 15 Jul 2021 03:56:21 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with her friend and college roommate, Michelle Botomogno, to discuss Michelle's experience growing up biracial in Upper Arlington, a predominantly white, affluent suburb of Columbus, OH. Together, they explore the complexities of identity, race, and self-perception, diving into how Michelle navigates her Blackness and body image in a world that often categorizes people based on appearance.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

Michelle’s experience growing up biracial in a predominantly white community
Navigating the complexities of identity and how Michelle feels about her Blackness
The impact of body image and societal expectations on self-esteem
The importance of speaking up about race-related issues and how Michelle has immersed herself in Black Culture
Conversations about embracing all aspects of one's identity and rejecting labels

This episode offers valuable insights into the intersection of race, identity, and self-acceptance as Michelle shares her journey and the lessons she’s learned.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating Burnout: The Pressure of Social and Work Demands Post-Pandemic

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 23:53:20 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones dives deep into the challenges of work and social burnout that many of us face now that the world is "open again." Our mental and physical well-being can take a hit as we rush to make up for lost time—attending weddings, going on vacations, visiting friends, and juggling an ongoing virtual work life. Shelbi opens up about her relationship with burnout and why we need to get more comfortable saying "no."

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

The effects of trying to make up for lost time in a post-pandemic world
The impact of social and work-related pressure on our mental health
Shelbi's personal experience with burnout and coping strategies
The importance of boundaries and learning to say "no."
Insights from the Harvard Business Review article Time Management Won't Save You

Read the Harvard Business Review article mentioned in the episode:

Time Management Won't Save You

Tune in to reflect on your burnout and learn how to prioritize self-care and boundaries in our busy, reopened world.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From Event Production to Floral Entrepreneurship: Aurea Sanabria Molaei's Journey with Flower Bodega

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 19:29:36 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Aurea Sanabria Molaei, the Founder and Creative Director of Flower Bodega, a modern floral design & content studio. Specializing in events, installations, editorial, and experiences, Flower Bodega has made a name for itself in the world of creative floral design.

Aurea shares her inspiring journey, from working as a producer for significant experiential events to discovering her passion for floral arrangements and eventually launching her own business. She also opens up about the challenges of being a small business owner, particularly during the pandemic, and how she pivoted to make Flower Bodega thrive despite the hurdles.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

The transition from a career in event production to starting a floral design business.
The challenges and rewards of being a small business owner, especially during uncertain times.
How Aurea managed to pivot Flower Bodega to continue flourishing throughout the pandemic.
The intersection of creativity and business in the floral industry.
The role of artistic passion in entrepreneurship.

✨ Connect with Aurea Sanabria Molaei and Flower Bodgea:

Follow Flower Bodgea on Instagram at @flowerbodega

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Define Normal: Certified Lover Boys Part 2

Wed, 16 Jun 2021 22:42:51 GMT

In part 2 of episode 24, I virtually sit down with my friends Thomas and Kunaal to talk about their lives as two boys who love love. Kunal finished his story about his almost marriage to a woman he was dating from India, then we get into Thomas' dating life and what makes them swipe right on the apps.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Define Normal: Certified Lover Boys

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 04:58:03 GMT

In this episode, I virtually sit down with my friends Thomas and Kunaal to discuss love. They share what it means to be a hopeless romantic, as guys in their 20s. We discuss the type of relationships they hope to land and what's going on in their love lives currently. This episode needed two parts. In part one, we speak about the juxtaposition between what Kunal thinks about love as someone who grew up in an Indian family, but also fully immersed in American culture. He takes us through a journey about his experience with arranged marriage and you don't want to miss it.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Lessons I've Learned in 28 Years

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 03:38:49 GMT

In this solo episode, Shelbi Jones reflects on the lessons she has learned over the past 28 years, sharing insights that have shaped her journey. From navigating personal growth to understanding the importance of self-compassion, this episode dives deep into the transformative experiences that have made a lasting impact.

As Shelbi celebrates another year of life, she offers listeners valuable wisdom on authenticity, embracing change, finding purpose, and overcoming challenges. Whether it’s about relationships, career decisions, or mental well-being, these lessons aim to inspire others to reflect on their paths and cultivate a fulfilling life.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

The importance of self-compassion and embracing vulnerability
How to navigate career shifts and the lessons learned along the way
The power of authenticity in both personal and professional life
The role of mental health and self-care in maintaining balance
Embracing change and growth at every stage of life

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unpacking Perfectionism with Amanda Taylor, CEO of The Unplug Collective

Wed, 26 May 2021 19:53:27 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Amanda Taylor, CEO and founder of The Unplug Collective, a platform dedicated to amplifying the voices of Black women and gender-expansive people in their journeys with mental health and body discrimination.

Major publications like Vogue, Forbes, and InStyle have recognized Unplug as more than just a platform—it’s a movement that provides stories and educational resources to inspire deeper engagement with these crucial issues.

In this conversation, Amanda and Shelbi explore perfectionism and its various manifestations. They discuss how perfectionism influences everything from body image to eating habits, how we communicate, and the societal pressures that shape our understanding of what is "perfect." The episode offers valuable insights into how perfectionism can be limiting and the steps we can take toward embracing imperfection and self-compassion.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

The Unplug Collective: Empowering Black women and gender-expansive people through mental health advocacy
Perfectionism and its Impact: From eating habits to how we speak and the societal pressures defining "perfection."
Body Discrimination: The intersection of body image and societal standards of beauty
Mental Health Narratives: Breaking the stigma around mental health and encouraging open conversations
Educational Resources: How Unplug Collective creates resources for its community to deepen understanding and spark change

✨ Connect with Amanda Taylor and The Unplug Collective:

Follow The Unplug Collective on Instagram at @theunplugcollective.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Single Friend Chronicles: Dating in Your Late 20s with Amanda Oswald

Wed, 19 May 2021 18:19:46 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by her college roommate and friend of a decade, Amanda Oswald, as they reflect on their experience as single friends in their group. They dive into the cultural differences between Midwest and East Coast dating, the challenges of navigating “serious relationships” when you’re still single, and the death of situationships as they enter their late 20s.

They also share personal dating advice, offering insights on everything from dealing with FOMO (fear of missing out) to what it means when friends settle into relationships. This episode is a candid look at friendship, love, and the evolving nature of dating as you age.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Midwest vs. East Coast dating: What’s different about romance in other regions?
Navigating relationships as a single friend: What does it feel like when your friends get serious?
The death of situationships in your late 20s: Why things shift and what it means for your dating life
Giving dating advice to each other: Lessons, challenges, and reflections from two single friends

Referenced in this episode:

Girls Gotta Eat Podcast: Amanda references an episode with author Jon Birger about where all the decent men are. You can listen here.
TikTok on celebrating men doing the bare minimum: Check out the TikTok here.

✨ Connect with Amanda Oswald:

Follow Amanda on Instagram at @aoswald11.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Struggle of Letting Go: Making Room for What Matters

Wed, 12 May 2021 23:01:52 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on the difficult but necessary process of quitting activities to make space for the things that align with her goals and passions. She shares her journey of learning to prioritize her time and energy, the emotional challenges of saying goodbye to commitments that no longer serve her, and the freedom to let go.

This episode dives into the tension between obligation and desire, the fear of missing out, and the deep satisfaction of focusing on what truly matters in pursuing personal fulfillment.

Topics discussed in this episode:

The struggle of quitting: Why letting go of activities can feel challenging but freeing
Making space for what matters: Identifying your priorities can shift your focus
Overcoming guilt and fear of missing out: Navigating the discomfort of choosing less but better
The benefits of intentional space: Why simplifying your life opens the door to new possibilities

If you're grappling with letting go of commitments or activities to make room for your real passions. This episode offers insight and encouragement on making that transition with intention and confidence.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Building Boundaries and Black Women in Luxury: A Conversation with Hayet Rida

Wed, 05 May 2021 13:59:01 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by Hayet Rida, a Creative Strategist, influencer, and serial entrepreneur, to discuss the challenges and rewards of sharing her life with her audience on Instagram. Hayet opens up about the vulnerability required in being an online presence, managing a thriving six-figure blog business while balancing a 9-5 job, and setting boundaries in her personal and professional life.

We also dive into Hayet's experience as a Black woman navigating the luxury space, the intersection of identity and success, and how she continues breaking barriers in content creation and entrepreneurship.

🎙️ Topics discussed in this episode:

Vulnerability on Instagram: How Hayet navigates sharing personal moments while maintaining privacy
Managing a six-figure blog business with a 9-5: Balancing entrepreneurship with a full-time career
Setting boundaries: How Hayet protects her time and energy while growing multiple ventures
Black women in luxury: Breaking through industry barriers and carving out space in luxury and lifestyle

This conversation is a must-listen for aspiring entrepreneurs, content creators, or anyone interested in balancing personal life and professional success.

✨ Connect with Hayet Rida:

Follow Hayet on Instagram @hayet.rida or visit her website, hayetrida.com, for more about her creative work, business advice, and luxury lifestyle.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sober and Supported: A Conversation with Aubrey Johansen on Navigating Life Without Alcohol

Wed, 28 Apr 2021 17:26:10 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by Aubrey Johansen, a personal chef and Instagram influencer, to discuss her journey to sobriety and the community she’s built. Aubrey shares her personal story of choosing a life without alcohol, how she’s navigated significant life moments sober, and the importance of having a support system in place.

We dive deep into the challenges and rewards of living alcohol-free, including how Aubrey has found her community and maintained a balanced life without relying on alcohol for socializing or coping. Aubrey also shares insights into how she supports others on their sober journeys.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Choosing sobriety: Aubrey’s decision to live alcohol-free and how it has impacted her life
Finding community: The importance of connecting with others who share similar experiences
Navigating life’s big moments sober: How Aubrey handles celebrations, stress, and everyday life without alcohol
Supporting others on their sober journey: How Aubrey gives back to the community and helps others on their path

This episode is perfect for anyone interested in sobriety, seeking a supportive community, or looking for inspiration to live a fulfilling life without alcohol.

✨ Connect with Aubrey Johansen:

Follow Aubrey on Instagram @thatwhatsheeats or visit her website thatswhatsheeats.com

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Choosing a Child-Free Life: A Conversation with Ashley Wallace on Defying Expectations

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 22:52:46 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones sits with Ashley Wallace to discuss her and her husband's decision to live a child-free life. Together, they explore the journey behind their choice, the challenges they faced from societal pressures and family feedback, and why they believe it’s the right decision for them.

Ashley shares her experience with the decision-making process, offering insights into navigating the complexities of family expectations and cultural norms around parenthood. This candid conversation highlights the importance of making choices that align with one's values and aspirations, even when they go against the grain.

Topics discussed in this episode:

The decision to be child-free: Ashley and her husband’s thought process and discussions
Family and societal feedback: Navigating judgments and expectations from others
Living child-free: Why this lifestyle aligns with their personal goals and happiness
Breaking societal norms: How making unconventional choices can lead to a more fulfilling life

This episode is an empowering conversation for anyone questioning traditional life paths and those who may feel pressure to follow societal expectations about marriage and parenthood.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Processing Grief and Speaking Out: Reflecting on Daunte Wright and Police Brutality

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 20:30:38 GMT

In this profoundly personal solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on the tragic death of Daunte Wright and the ongoing issue of police brutality in America. Shelbi shares her raw feelings about the systemic violence faced by Black communities, the emotional toll of repeated tragedies, and the broader implications of the criminal justice system’s failures.

This episode is a reflection on the grief that comes with losing another Black life to police violence and the urgent need for change, justice, and accountability. Shelbi also touches on how moments like this impact mental health and the importance of processing these feelings while continuing to advocate for justice.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Daunte Wright's death: Reflecting on the tragedy and its impact on the Black community
Police brutality: An ongoing conversation about systemic racism and the need for reform
Grief and mental health: How incidents like this affect mental well-being and the importance of healing
Accountability and change: What must happen for the justice system to protect all citizens truly

This episode is an important reminder to confront brutal truths, process emotions, and push for justice in the face of tragedy. It’s a call for solidarity and collective action in the fight against police violence.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Styling Wendy Williams and the Future of Fashion: A Conversation with Willie Sinclair

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 15:20:56 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Willie Sinclair, a fellow Midwesterner and Lead Wardrobe Stylist for the Emmy-nominated The Wendy Williams Show. Willie shares his journey into the fashion world, how he became the go-to stylist for one of daytime TV’s biggest shows, and the importance of inclusivity in the fashion industry.

Willie’s impressive portfolio includes work featured in major publications like The New York Times Magazine, W Magazine, Variety, and The Wrap. He was most recently profiled in PAPER Magazine in the article “The Stylist Who Got Wendy Wearing Telfar and Dapper Dan.” During our conversation, Willie discusses the moment he realized fashion was his calling, his favorite brands right now, and how he sees the future of fashion evolving.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Willie's journey to becoming a stylist: The challenges and milestones of breaking into the fashion industry
Inclusivity in fashion: How the industry can embrace more diverse voices and perspectives
The Wendy Williams Show: Behind-the-scenes stories of styling Wendy Williams and her iconic looks
Fashion brands to watch: Willie shares his current favorites in the industry
Future of fashion: His vision for where the industry is headed and his career aspirations

This episode is a must-listen for fashion enthusiasts, aspiring stylists, and anyone interested in the fashion world's intersections of style, media, and inclusivity.

✨ Connect with Willie Sinclair:

Follow Willie’s journey and fashion insights on Instagram @WillieSinclair.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Toxic Productivity and the Impact on Women of Color: A Conversation with Deb Renteria

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 12:38:41 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Deb Renteria, a marketing professional at HBO, to unpack the issue of Toxic Productivity and its disproportionate impact on women of color in the workplace. Deb shares her experiences navigating corporate spaces and how toxic work culture often manifests, especially for marginalized communities.

Together, they discuss practical strategies for setting better boundaries and how leaders can cultivate healthier, more sustainable work environments for their teams.

Deb is a proud first-generation Mexican-American, originally from Long Beach, CA. She is a co-founder of La Nueva Link, a community for LatinX creatives and media professionals. She currently works on HBO’s Multicultural Marketing team, focusing on creating engaging experiences for diverse audiences and amplifying top-priority programming.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Toxic productivity: How hustle culture negatively affects women of color in the workplace.
Setting boundaries: Practical advice on prioritizing well-being while excelling at work.
Leadership impact: How workplace leadership can set the tone for team culture and well-being.
Creating inclusive environments: The role of diversity and inclusion in combating toxic productivity.

This episode is an essential conversation for women of color in corporate settings and anyone interested in creating healthier, more supportive work environments.

✨ Connect with Deb and La Nueva Link:

Follow Deb Renteria on Instagram: @thatdarndeb
Follow La Nueva Link on Instagram: @lanuevalink

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Standing Up Against Anti-Asian Hate: A Conversation with Penny Lam on Allyship and Healing

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 15:45:50 GMT

In this powerful episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with her friend, Penny Lam, to discuss the impact of anti-Asian hate crimes, including the tragic spa attacks in Atlanta. Penny shares her personal experience as an Asian-American, offering a candid perspective on the emotional and social toll of racism in the community. Penny also provides valuable insights on how individuals can be better allies to the Asian community, helping foster understanding, support, and solidarity in the fight against hate.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Anti-Asian hate crimes: Penny reflects on the rise in violence against the Asian-American community and the emotional impact of these acts
The Atlanta spa shootings: A deep discussion on the tragedy and how it has affected the community
Building solidarity and allyship: Penny offers practical advice on being a better ally and supporting Asian Americans during this challenging time
Healing and moving forward: How the community can find hope and strength despite ongoing challenges

This episode is an essential conversation about the need for justice, understanding, and support in these trying times. It’s a must-listen for anyone looking to educate themselves on allyship and work toward a more inclusive society.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

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Freshman Year During a Pandemic: Stella McCabe-Soares on Virtual Learning and Transitioning from NYC to Ohio State

Wed, 10 Mar 2021 20:55:03 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Stella McCabe-Soares, a freshman at Ohio State University who is navigating her first year of college during a global pandemic. Stella shares her experience moving from New York City to Columbus, Ohio, and how she's managing the challenges of virtual learning in an unprecedented time.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Freshman year during a pandemic: Stella reflects on what it’s like to start college when traditional experiences are disrupted
Adjusting to virtual learning: How she adapts to online classes and stays motivated
Moving from NYC to Columbus: The challenges and differences Stella has encountered in transitioning from one city to another
Mental health and resilience: How she manages stress, stays connected, and maintains balance during this unique time

This episode is a candid look at what it’s like to be a college freshman in 2020 and a valuable conversation for anyone navigating education during uncertain times.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Entrepreneurship, Balance, and Building a Brand: Gerald Edwards on Founding NSOD Clothing

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:58:18 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Gerald Edwards, the founder of NSOD Clothing, a brand he started in high school. Gerald shares his journey from the early days of entrepreneurship to managing his business while balancing a full-time job. He offers valuable insights into building a brand, staying focused on your goals, and the importance of community in the creative space.

Topics discussed in this episode:

The origins of NSOD Clothing: Gerald’s experience founding his brand in high school and what it took to get started
Balancing a 9-5 and entrepreneurship: How Gerald juggles his full-time job with growing his business
Entrepreneurial tips: Gerald’s top advice for those just starting out in business
Creative community: The value of surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals and prioritizing your creative output over accolades.

This episode is a must-listen for aspiring entrepreneurs looking to turn their passion into a business and anyone seeking inspiration on balancing multiple pursuits while staying true to their vision.

✨ Connect with Gerald Edwards and NSOD Clothing:

Visit NSOD Clothing: nsodclothing.com
Follow on Instagram: @nsod_

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From the South Bronx to Harvard: Rob Rush on Being a First-Generation College Student and Building 'Become What You Can't See'

Wed, 24 Feb 2021 11:00:24 GMT

In this episode, host Shelbi Jones virtually sits down with Rob Rush, a first-generation college student from the South Bronx who defied the odds and graduated from Harvard University. Rob shares his inspiring journey and discusses his challenges as a trailblazer in higher education.

Rob is also the founder of Become What You Can't See a community for and by first-generation students that provides resources, mentorship, and a platform for students who often feel isolated in their academic journeys.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Rob’s journey: Overcoming obstacles as a first-generation college student from the South Bronx
Harvard University: The highs and lows of attending an Ivy League school as the first in his family to attend college
Become What You Can't See: How Rob founded the community to support and uplift first-generation students
Community impact: The role of mentorship, representation, and solidarity for students often underrepresented in higher education

This episode is a powerful reminder that representation matters and that perseverance and community can help break barriers and create new possibilities.

✨ Connect with Rob and his community:

Follow Become What You Can't See on Instagram @becomewhatyoucantsee
Visit their website: Become What You Can't

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Power of Friendship: Why Platonic Relationships Deserve More Love

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 13:08:35 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones explores the often-overlooked importance of friendship in a society that tends to place romantic relationships on a pedestal. This episode dives into why friendships are vital for a fulfilling and balanced life through personal reflections and cultural observations.

Topics covered in this episode:

Friendship vs. romance: Challenging society’s focus on romantic relationships as the ultimate goal
The value of platonic love: Why friendships are as meaningful as romantic connections
Cultural influences: How media and societal norms shape our views on relationships
Celebrating friendships: Practical tips for nurturing and prioritizing your platonic bonds

This episode is a heartfelt reminder to honor the friends who uplift us, support us, and enrich our lives in ways that are just as powerful as romance.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Community Building, Allyship, and Diversity Resources: A Conversation with Tori Bell

Wed, 10 Feb 2021 14:39:39 GMT

In this inspiring episode, host Shelbi Jones is joined by Tori Bell, the founder of Black Women@ Facebook, an impactful employee resource group, and Inclusion Unpacked (@inclusionunpacked), a weekly newsletter providing actionable diversity resources. Tori shares her insights on fostering meaningful communities, building partnerships, and creating spaces for authentic conversations about diversity and inclusion.

Topics discussed in this episode:

The art of community building: Tori’s approach to creating supportive, impactful spaces like Black Women@ Facebook
Inclusion Unpacked: The inspiration behind her newsletter and its mission to provide weekly diversity resources
Collaborating with Sophia Amoruso: How their partnership through Business Class is helping amplify diverse voices
Allyship in action: What white women can do to become better allies in the workplace and beyond

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One Week on the NYC Dating App Scene: Observations and Insights

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 15:02:12 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones shares candid reflections after one week of navigating the dynamic world of NYC dating apps. From unexpected trends to personal lessons learned, this episode takes listeners through the highs, lows, and unique quirks of modern dating in New York City.

First impressions: What stands out in NYC’s fast-paced dating app culture?
Trends and patterns: Common themes and behaviors observed on the apps.
Personal takeaways: Lessons learned about connection, compatibility, and navigating the scene authentically.

Whether new to dating apps or a seasoned pro, this episode offers relatable insights and a fresh perspective on dating.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Vision Writing and Manifestation: Creating the Life You Want in 2021

Wed, 27 Jan 2021 13:01:46 GMT

In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones delves into the transformative power of vision writing and how it can help you manifest your desired life. With 2021 in full swing, now is the perfect time to get clear on your goals and set powerful intentions for the year ahead.

Topics covered in this episode:

What is vision writing? How can this practice help you clarify and focus on your dreams?
Manifestation tips: Practical steps to align your actions with your goals.
Creating a vision for 2021: Strategies to turn your desires into reality and design a life you love.

This episode guides anyone looking to take charge of their future, tap into their creativity, and start manifesting a life that aligns with their true self.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating Anxiety, Depression, and Transparency: A Mental Health Journey with Daniel Stokes

Wed, 20 Jan 2021 13:41:16 GMT

In this powerful episode, host Shelbi Jones interviews Daniel Stokes, a Senior Culture Manager at a travel company based in NYC. Daniel shares his candid mental health journey, discussing his experiences with anxiety and depression, the pivotal moment his anxiety first manifested, and his path to seeking therapy.

Listeners will gain insight into how Daniel prioritizes mental health while navigating the pressures of work and life during a global pandemic. His transparency sheds light on breaking the stigma around mental health and embracing authenticity.

Topics discussed include:

The Onset of anxiety: How Daniel recognized his mental health challenges and began addressing them
Therapy as a resource: His journey toward seeking help and how it has shaped his well-being
Mental health advocacy: Why Daniel believes in being open about his struggles to inspire others
Pandemic resilience: Coping strategies that have helped him manage during uncertain times

This episode is a compelling exploration of vulnerability, resilience, and the importance of mental health advocacy.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love Across Miles: Bumble Success Stories, Long-Distance Relationships, and Dating App Tips (with Natalie Lynch & Stuart Nelson)

Wed, 13 Jan 2021 11:00:13 GMT

In this heartwarming episode, Shelbi virtually sits down with Natalie Lynch and Stuart Nelson, a couple whose love story began on Bumble and has spanned continents. For the past year, they’ve been navigating the challenges of a long-distance relationship and are here to share their journey.

Topics we explore:

A modern love story: How Natalie and Stuart met on Bumble and their unforgettable first date
Making it work: How they’ve maintained their relationship despite the physical distance
Pro tips for dating apps: Natalie and Stuart advise on creating an impressive, standout Bumble profile
Long-distance survival guide: Practical tips and insights for keeping the spark alive when miles apart

Whether navigating long-distance love or looking for inspiration on your dating journey, this episode contains relatable stories and actionable advice.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Millennial Conservative Perspective: Religion, Values, and Raising Future Generations (with Katie Foley)

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 07:12:18 GMT

In this episode, Shelbi virtually sits down with Katie Foley, a millennial conservative white woman from Dayton, OH, to explore her unique perspective on life, values, and family. Despite their differing views, Shelbi and Katie engage in a candid and respectful conversation about her conservative beliefs and how they shape her approach to faith, family, and the future.

Topics Covered:

Conservative values: What they mean to Katie and how they influence her decisions
Religion and upbringing: Growing up in a bubble and faith's role in her life
Parenting perspectives: How Katie envisions raising her future children with her values
Bridging differences: Shelbi's reflections on why she wanted to hear Katie's story and how they navigate opposing views

This episode is a window into the complexities of differing ideologies and an example of how open dialogue can foster understanding, even in challenging conversations.

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.

Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Surviving Quarantine with My Mom: Sharon Jones on Living Together During Covid

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 07:07:14 GMT

In this heartfelt and humorous episode, Shelbi sits down with her mom, Sharon Jones, to reflect on what it's been like living together during quarantine for the past nine months. They dive into the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of sharing space during a global pandemic.

Topics we discuss:

Quarantine bonding: How we've kept our sanity and found joy together
Gourmet quarantine meals: Shelbi's dad's culinary creations that have become household favorites.
Lessons learned: What my mom has discovered about me after nine months of close-quarters
Funny family dynamics: The mystery of my job title and how we navigate our generational differences

Join the Define Normal community:

Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season. Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.

Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Define Normal: Intro

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 07:02:53 GMT

In this solo episode, I explain what to expect from the podcast, along with why I started it and provide a little more insight into my personal background.

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Define Normal Trailer

Tue, 29 Dec 2020 17:33:00 GMT

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