Elis James and John Robins

#529 - Running Noises, Cubist Javelin and Elis & Johndgerbread Men

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 15:00:00 GMT

It’s a big/normal day! Everything in Elis and John world just got bigger/stayed exactly the same as before! All praise the Brave New World/status quo!

John’s dressed up in a suit and tie to mark the (non-) occasion, and there’s a 100 points on offer to the listener who can decipher John’s scripted intro.

Beyond everything changing/staying exactly the same, Elis and John try to find the best non-threatening noise to make whilst running to alert non-runners, with some very surprising suggestions. Elis tries to pick himself up after last week’s missed shot at glory in the Cymru Connection, plus there’s a return to a glorious sub-category of Mad Dads: milk.

One thing that definitely has changed is the Elis and John spiritual home: the email hub. You can now contact the show by sending your correspondence to hello@elisandjohn.com.

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EMERGENCY: Elis and John Megatisation Alert!

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 12:00:00 GMT

Emergency! Emergency! Elis and John just got Megatised. We repeat, Elis and John just got Megatised.

PATREON VIBES IN THE AREA

Our brand new Patreon channel will feature our flagship offering of The Adventures of Elis and John - a monthly visualised series too daring for TV that will feature excursions, activities and escapades from our favourite todgers. Subscribers will also get fully visualised podcast eps, behind-the-scenes action, first dibs on EJJR tour tickets and ad-free listening. Each tier offers the exact same content with our 'pay-what-you-can' scheme. To subscribe head to patreon.com/elisandjohn.

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AS YOU WERE

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#528 - A Remembersplore, Miserable Coat Man and The Early Human Scene

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 16:55:00 GMT

Strap yourself in because boy do we have a highbrow show for you today. Quoting Heidegger? Check. Ruminations on the nature of the present? Check. Elis S’ing himself in a park in Cardiff after a night on the Red Bull mixers? Check.

John Wins Again throws up some interesting morsels: John reveals his latest bedtime snack, and one of John’s wins leaves Elis literally speechless.

Elsewhere we meet Elis’s unkempt uni alter ego, John realises he should have been born in a Megaworld, and Dave is invited to get into the early human scene.

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#527 - Ab Merchants, Bleeding VAT and Ladybirdaggedon

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 15:00:00 GMT

It’s a rollercoaster of a show for Elis James. He has the opportunity to rectify recent Welsh footballing disappointment by becoming the only player in Cymru Connection history to connect with 5 people twice.

National pride can be restored, as long as Elis opens his eyes and doesn’t go down a Cymru cul-de-sac. Come on El, a (potentially imaginary) listener’s haircut depends on it!

Plus John plays hardball with the One Show, there’s a trip down the Shame Well that knocks Elis bandy, and Dave finally reveals what he’s known for turning up to parties with…

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#526 - Huw Bris, Sir Psycho Sexy and Your Mexico 86

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 17:35:00 GMT

“You were hungover thinking about darts.” “You are scum.” “You are a waste that has wasted himself.” “How do you like that John?” “Why don’t you just melt in the park you never walked through enough 21 years ago?” “You complete piece of S.”

From that exchange you wouldn’t think it would be a philosophical episode. However it is. It's deep. It’s a privilege, despair, sadness, nostalgia fest. And for once, the despair isn’t coming from John. You’ve got the Bosnians to thank for that. It’s also Edin Dzeko’s fault as to why Elis is dressed as a man who runs a community farm.

Elsewhere Dave gets some coaching off a much speedier runner, John couldn’t leave his bed because he had an enjoyable visit to his old university college, and we have a reappraisal of Mellowship Slinky in B major.

And finally, do we have a companion podcast to ‘A History of Nudity in a Thousand Beautiful Women with John Robins’? Because, after all, you simply must have two episodes a week these days.

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#525 - Lostalgia, Fornication Nation and Narberth to Nefyn Nude

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 16:05:00 GMT

Elis has come off the back of a midi week but that’s not a problem, because the hive mind has another great TV format to which the networks can say “I love it, so I’m going to say ‘no’.”

‘John’s Thoughts’ arrives much to Elis’s confusion, during which John’s also come up with an emotion that’s more complex than nostalgia. “What is this?” asks the Assistant to a Thought Leader about the feature. We don’t quite know yet but it is certainly a great conduit for chin wagging chat.

And in all of that we’ve got a belting Made Up Game which really plays to the boys’ experience in indie commercial digital radio.

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#524 - The Purple Pill, Hits & Mems and John Robins In The Manosphere

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 17:05:00 GMT

It’s all Hits and Mems today as we imagine two media worlds that John Robins could have inhabited. These being: Bristol local radio (1-4pm) and the manosphere.

Traffic, travel and the afternoon countdown to the pub, or grifting? Two forks in the road he could have gone down, but thankfully hasn’t. Safe to say his imagination is in fervent overdrive as we also hear of a world where he has $10 million… and won an Oscar.

But what of Elis? Well he may have a heart attack.

We also receive a right of reply from a disgraced Global Radio employee trying to clear his name, and there’s an all time great Mad Dad story of a father in a cultural vacuum.

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#523 - Tender Thomas, A Good Beast and Checkout Confidential

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 16:00:00 GMT

The confidence of one of the great confidence players takes a battering this week. What starts off as some light-hearted fun around the London Marathon (after Johnny JR reveals some exciting news), turns into a head-in-hands moment that curses Elis for the entirety of today’s show.

How does his misstep affect his Cymru Connecting performance? Will the unassailable points gap in Made Up Games get even more unassailable? It’s all to play for.

Elsewhere, John’s imagined a world that almost leaves him in tears, and there’s a TV-worthy MUG that’s more tense than this show’s compliance meeting with BBC bosses after hearing John’s supermarket docu-drama last week…

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#522 - Fast Twitch Diplomacy, Jeez & Onion and To Do With The Weavers

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 18:15:00 GMT

The studio is wafting with sandalwood and intense male musk because Dave’s got a new scent, something which is causing John much nasal fascination.

But yet again, the big story is a huge Elis James week. What a run he’s on by the way. He’s had a completely genuine standing ovation at one of London’s coolest comedy gigs. Further still, he’s performed the finest bit of house jobbery he’s ever done, with plumbing tape elevating this above Mega Week.

Elsewhere, Adrian brings the boys some significant crispy content and John’s even sacking people who no longer work with him. We also have potentially our most round about chat ever in addressing some correspondence. From cumin and white pepper into the meaning of creativity to horses and penguins, back to the email.

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The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production

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#521 - Subversive Regional, Call Roger Bannister and All At Sea in a Brandscape

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 16:00:00 GMT

John Robins feels enormous. His Christmas Day, Ryder Cup and Tax Deadline Day have all come at once. That’s right, a new supermarket has opened near his house, and he’s primed and ready to make content that no one else would dream of making. Strap in for some gonzo journalism; it’s Fear and Loathing in Rural Bucks.

Supermarket excitement aside, we tackle the big questions: Did Elizabeth I wish she’d had meal deals? Did she resent not having a fridge, or Tetris, or yoghurt? What would Henry VIII have made of an air fryer?

Plus, Elis’s Welshness gets him in hypothetical hot water.

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#520 - Moheathcliffe, #FindTheFlax and Che Guevara On QI

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 17:05:00 GMT

What do Sir Steve Redgrave, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, David Beckham and John Robins have in common? None of them were asked on QI. Elis has though, and it’s clearly going down very very well with all parties.

But today feels significant as we rope in a special guest to digest Elis hammering his friend using his fast twitch fibres. On top of that, John’s having a big day - something which others seriously doubt. “He’s probably just had too much hot sauce on his scrambled egg,” cries Dave. Wrong! In fact he’s being texted by a ghost curry house.

Elsewhere the boys ask Adrian *all* the questions you’ve ever wanted to know, and we get a bit nostalgic as John talks of the only cool thing he’s ever done.

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#519 - Big Seed, Big Sad John and Big Voiced Clive

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 16:00:00 GMT

John is not going to dance to their tune. Who’s tune? The people who design the layouts of supermarkets, that’s who. Sure, they can play their seductive little ditties, but Johnny JR ain’t dancing.

But someone who is dancing to a tune is Elis James, and that tune is Welsh music (general). With St David’s Day having just passed, the pressure is on Elis to contribute to the national mood. Can he turn around a poor run of form in the Cymru Connection, or will he besmirch the good name of Wales around its big day?

Elsewhere, Elis dives headfirst into a cognitive decline casserole, the boys riff a future award-winning feature on the fly, and we take a welcome trip back down the Shame Well.

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#518 - An 18 Yard Sprint, Sovereignty Not Dominion and Big Diolch Energy

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 17:55:00 GMT

Elis is in the middle of a megaweek. He’s about to do a 100m race for charity that he wishes could be 18 yards, he’s been to 10 Downing Street because Sir Keir is in love with him, and he’s been accosted by a roomful of Welsh people wanting to connect with him.

But amongst all this he has also been betrayed. For there was a Paul McCartney-based event that he wasn’t invited to, despite another member of the team making the guest list.

But what about John? He’s been doing what he does everyday; checking the price of Bitcoin. This despite not ever having owned any.

Plus, there’s an update on the WhatsApp community and another cap in the feather of the world’s greatest invention; e-mail.

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#517 - A Peruvian Exit, A 14 Pocket Scenario and A Neyland in the Coffin

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 16:00:00 GMT

Elis has Barrel of Eggs’ed it. Or more accurately, Isy has. The new car has met its match in the form of inner-London car park tight corners. But for a show that holds content on the highest pedestal possible, this can only be seen as a good thing.

Not only has Elis got a damaged car, but he also has a damaged connection rate in the Cymru Connection. Can youth-based listener Holly be the ticket Elis needs to do a three point turn and drive straight up Success Alley?

Elsewhere there’s an abundance of fun as both Benjamin Partridge and Lou Sanders give their two cents on hot air balloons and the glowing-up of Elis James respectively, John does some winning and losing, and a trip to the sound proof booth causes Elis to do some very strange things…

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#516 - Master of The Memoir, French Flag Fancy and I Am Full of Eggs

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 17:32:00 GMT

It’s Melvin Brain in the chair today as we go all Radio 4. What is thought? What is the self? High. Brow. This is the Best Comedy show at the British Podcast Awards 2025. Parenting Hell simply isn't doing this. There’s even an academic called Dr Loevenbruck involved.

It is a full spectrum of vibes today. From deep psychology to S’ing yourself twice in a heartbeat.

Elsewhere, John has a hollow coldness in the bones. In other words, he’s hungry. Meanwhile, Elis has eggs on the brain.

And it turns out there’s hope for John in meeting the love of his life taking life two steps at a time.

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#515 - Lads FM, Acquire It and Do you Want Vibes with That?

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 16:00:00 GMT

It’s a shame this year’s Oscar nominations have been named because John’s new film idea could have swept the board. Watch out John Ford with your record 4 wins for Best Director, watch out James Cameron with your highest-grossing films, there’s a new auteur in town.

However, it isn’t all positivity for our Robins. After the highs of creativity, the lows of having your heart broken by someone you thought was a good friend. Elis’s foul-mouthed review of one of Frank Zappa’s albums leaves a sour taste in the mouth, and ends up with Elis being put in the Dweeb Gang with fellow Zappa detractor Snoop Dogg.

Elsewhere there’s a Winter Olympics-based Made Up Game where Elis just simply will not show his workings, Drs Chris and Xand van Tulleken leave John a heartwarming message, and a harmless game of 20 questions goes down like a lead balloon.

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The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production

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#514 - Chinese Geese, Caribbean Soaks and Emre Can Headspace

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 17:00:00 GMT

It’s limbs in the studio as a box of brownies and a couple of books have lifted Elis out of a funk. What great news for bookworms with low blood sugar. But the internal glucose alarm isn’t the only one going off as a fire alert causes chaos.

We also get psychological as the boys unpick the idea of the inner monologue, and with that the terrifying engine steering John under the bonnet. Would Freud enjoy this? Potentially. Would it frighten him? Almost certainly.

And from brains to bodies, the show gets panned as the least erotic thing possible, whilst we have a couple of fantastically zoological Mad Dads.

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The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production

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#513 - John Laughter, Alan Giggles and Pierre Novellie

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 16:00:00 GMT

Due to factors it’s another ride on the remote record train as the Bucks-Hulme-Palace trifecta is enacted once again. But fear not, for geographical limitation does not lead to content limitation, and the show’s exemplary badinage level is kept high.

The trifecta briefly becomes a quadfecta through the addition of comedian and protocol penner, Pierre Novellie. Yes, the man who made it his business to codify the essence of Cymru Connecting stops by to adjudicate a live connection attempt. But not before taking questions on the Boer War and explaining what the Dutch have to do with all of this.

Then it’s onto an old classic Made Up Game that reveals slightly too much information about its players…

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#512 - Stasi Mealtime, Clown Stance and There’s A Lot Going On With You

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 17:35:00 GMT

Today we discover there’s a lot going on with John. “News to me” you might say with an eye roll planted at the front of your visage. However, we’re in the more physical realm for once, as his clown feet and crisps ankles hone into view.

Elsewhere, Dave is having technical problems because of the need for interrogation-level lighting being installed. And Elis is broadly fine.

In some excellent correspondence, there’s solutions to the below knee level fridge issue that’s been rocking rural Bucks, the boys are in Forbes. Larry Leasehead and Simon Secondhand also give their respective views in what is some of this show’s most practical advice in a generation.

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The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production

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#511 - Chorister Humour, The Veg Guesser and What a Husband!

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 16:00:00 GMT

How well do Elis and Producer Dave really know their wives? After being asked about Hannah’s hopes and dreams a few weeks ago, Dave finally returns with the answers, and Elis can’t resist trying his hand at nailing down Isy’s favourite things.

Elsewhere, Elis finds himself in Cymru Connecting heaven and discovers a new brand of humour, while John unearths his latest non-monetisable talent in a game which he initially goes in two footed on.

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#510 - It’s Not A Drawer, Creosote i Bumry and The Spirit of Shelford

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 17:30:00 GMT

Today is all about bravery. Lord Nelson levels.

John’s back is playing up. Why? “Oil rig level” dangerous activities in cleaning his below knee height fridge. So he’s wheeled in on a big telly for a London-Buckinghamshire simulcast.

John has also been listening to The Witches in bed. Which is also brave because it’s scary. Elis has also been in the wars at 5-a-side with an injury apparently akin to tearing your nethers. Yet more bravery.

In happenings which are irrelevant to courage we also fly in an expert to help John make his holiday booking process less insane.

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#509 - Cognitive Incline, Watching Swans In Watford and The World’s Rarest Goose

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 16:00:00 GMT

“Caernarfon Heritage Steam Train, why must you forsake me?” Now that’s a taste of what to expect on this episode. The next step in Elis’s English language stand up return has hit the buffers as he plays a room which isn’t Europe’s best gig. Just how can he produce laughs from wealth managers when Llanfairfechan Community Centre is some of the best stuff in his arsenal?

Fear not however, because the bit about a big table in a miners’ institute is always ready to go in emergencies.

But it’s not all anxiety dreams, as we take a journey into the forest mind via John’s new mantra for life. There’s also one of our greatest jingles ever and a game which Elis hates, thus meaning great aural enjoyment for yourselves.

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#508 - Megabed, Five Salmon and Evidence of Beavers

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 17:50:00 GMT

John has had a nice time. So join us on a journey as Britain’s most normal man goes on holiday to Scotland. Now, we’ve been here before, and we can promise that this time it involves far less emotionally intense visits to various Celtic car parks.

Elis’s return to English language stand up also continues apace. It’s going so well that he’s going to play a room where the average age is about 22 and specialises in clowning. How does he play this?

We also receive more info on the great Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett.

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The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production

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#507 - A Rice Mouse, Digital Fruit and Josh Widdicombe

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 16:00:00 GMT

It’s a definition bumper pack show today as we cram as much goodness as we possibly can into a single podcast episode. Think of us as one of those fruit shots; it’s pure podcasting distilled into a single hit.

The main ingredient is friend of the show Josh Widdicombe, who pops by to talk all things pop culture. He’s adding a new wing to his podcast empire and Elis and John have suggestions. Josh also provides a boots-on-the-ground review of Elis’s recent return to standup, and lifts the lid on his lofty ambitions.

Widdicombe aside, John returns to a simpler time, a more fruit-game-based time. But he ain’t slicing, no, no. This time, he’s merging.

And the fun doesn't stop there as Elis attempts to arrest the Cymru Connection slide by asking a caller if they've ever bought baguettes in Cardiff. It’s vintage stuff.

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#506 - Well Well Well Well Well

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 16:00:00 GMT

Who’s that unrecognisable figure sat across from John!? He looks full of beans, he looks young and vibrant. Why, it’s Circuit Elis! And he’s so back.

After playing the country’s most bafflingly playable gig, Elis’s mood and confidence are at an all time high. He’s perfected his opening gambit, he’s got the country’s best bullet-pointed set. That is until John bursts his bubble…

John on the other hand talks us through his miracle morning that comes complete with its own (and very on brand) acronym. He also describes how he’s recently boarded the porridge train, before sending a listener to the sin bin for challenging the autonomy of the UK plug.

You know what they say; if you come for Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett DBE’s Type G UK plug, you best not miss.

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#505 - Head House, The Malzeard Option and Deep Blue John

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 16:00:00 GMT

Today’s show is one of peaks and troughs as everyone experiences their ups and downs. John puts forward a very questionable defence against a hypothetical crime, and Elis rails at scoring badly on an intelligence test.

On the flip side, the state of John’s brain receives numerous plaudits, and Elis tells an Oscar-worthy joke. It’s classic light and shade.

Elsewhere, Dave takes the team down memory lane by invoking Project Spice, as the boys taste a variety of hot chilli sauces that are guaranteed to blow their heads off. Elis attempts to kick-start the Cymru Connection, we learn about JohnTech (‘mainly tech stuff’), and Elis gets blindsided by a historical meeting with a bloke on holiday who kept saying that Sheffield was massive.

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#504 - Re: Hell, Quezzies and The Cancellation Tapes

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 17:35:00 GMT

2026 is a big year for Johnny JR as he sets his sights on winning the London Marathon. And with Dave lacing up his cheating shoes to pound the P of London’s streets as well, the team have quezzies.

Luckily today’s episode features a man who is more than capable of answering said quezzies: friend of the show and running guru Ben Parkes. It’s his job to help John hack the London Marathon. Godspeed Ben.

But fear not, it’s not all running chat. Elis has been on the TV, John is (like Meatloaf) out of hell, and there’s a cornucopia of call centre celeb stories to read.

Keep your ears peeled for some fine Mad Daddery featuring ancient ONS maps, and the team imagine how John would fare on I’m A Celebrity.

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#503 - Succulent PBs, Bless Warwick and 8 Billion Johns

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 16:53:00 GMT

Could 2026 be the year that Elis and John change beyond recognition? And we’re not talking spiritually or even emotionally; we’re talking physically. Because Elis aims to bolster his handsomeness across the calendar year, and John toys with the prospect of going bagless under the old peepers.

Cosmetic surgery aside, John has written up a 28 point plan for if he became World King. Luckily he lost confidence in delivering all 28 points, but do watch this space.

And we kick off Elis’s Annus Connectus by delving back into the nation's favourite pastime: the Cymru Connection. It all ends with Elis asking a random Welsh person whether they know a tech guy from a random theatre who once said he liked the Beatles. Normal Cymru Connecting resumed then.

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#502 - Cheating Shoes, A 46% Complaint Ratio and New Year Old John

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 18:42:00 GMT

It may be a new year, but it’s an old John we find on today’s podcast. An attempted new year’s resolution meant the odd tear was shed, and now he’s in hell. But it’s not all bad, because he does have the cleanest crotch in show business thanks to a hand sanitiser mishap.

Spirits get lifted by a visit from our in-house statistician, our very own Andy Zaltzman, Statman Ross. He reveals that John’s Made Up Game stats are akin to those of Roger Federer, and there’s confirmation that Elis can certainly go down as one of the big 4 MUG winners of his generation. An aural heat map is drawn up of Elis’s connecting hotspots, and some geographical blind spots present themselves.

Elsewhere there are celeb call centre tales, and Dave sheds light on his brief stint as a professional Mario Kart racer.

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#501 - The Best of 2025

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The year 2025 will forever be remembered as the year of Elis and John. It will be remembered for John's wins and losses, for Elis's car antics. It will be remembered for Tim Key's John snub, for Elis cementing the Cymru Connection into the Welsh psyche. It will be remembered for James Acaster's searing takedowns, for Dave's alarm disaster, and for the four words: 'it was oil again'.

As Elis and John set sail into the new year, it's time to look back at the wake of good content they've left behind.

Expect paint in car footwells, a surprise appearance from Lou and a chaotic Made Up Game for the ages.

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#500 - Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 06:00:00 GMT

Put the wrapping paper down, turn off Home Alone and stop stressing about a glorified Sunday roast… the true meaning of Christmas has finally been revealed to us, and would you believe it, it’s Elis and John!

Yes, everything in this festive period has been leading up to Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker, and boy does it deliver on festive cheer. Because what’s more Christmassy than a debate about TVs in hotel rooms, or a 45-year-old man getting lost in pictures of the 1950s footballer Tom Finney, (aka The Preston Plumber)?

Unwrapping this podcast with your ears will also reveal a not-so-secret secret Santa, some yuletide Mad Daddery, and a chat with a very busy Mother Christmas.

But festive cheer is not the only thing on today’s agenda because we’re also celebrating 500 episodes of the BBC era! Elis and John relive some moments from their very first show and the ghosts of Christmas Past Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode stop by to play a Made Up Game and chat Christmas flicks.

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#499 - Digital Oil, Peak Christmas and Love Shakes Piles

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 18:18:00 GMT

John's eaten two helpings of pancakes and we’re in a race against time. Can this bantercast cram in enough badinage before one of its hosts succumbs to a sugar crash? It’s a question that’s been asked many times before, and one that will no doubt be asked again, but it’s a critical question nonetheless.

Elis has spent the week telling his wife Isy that he ‘must be alone’ in order to finish John’s book. He successfully wrangled enough solo time to do so and delivers his verdict. It’s praise all round, but Dave appears to come out of it badly.

Elsewhere it’s peak Christmas. Listener gifts are opened, Elis is dreading his drive to Cardiff, and John doesn’t want to talk about his Christmas lest the show turn into another mental health podcast.

And we end on the question: how do you inject digital oil into a podcast to make it rise to the top? Answers on a postcard.

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#498 - Chilli Rice, Grieving Upside Down and Thames!

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 16:00:00 GMT

You might detect a slight difference in Elis’s demeanour this week; a bolstered confidence, an increased self-worth, a man with a purpose. Elis has tasted power, and he ain’t looking back. This is the new Elis, Elis 2.0, Elis ‘You’ll Do What I Say’ James. Because Elis has looked after 4 children on a school trip to The Monument. This feels significant.

Meanwhile John thinks we’re molly-coddling the next generation and has gone rogue. He’s chucking things into the Thames left, right and centre. Step on the wrong side of Robins in this mood and you’ll be swimming with the London fishes before you know it. Oh, and he's suffered the consequences of chilli rice…

There’s also a Cymru Connection which leaves Elis with mixed feelings, a festive Made Up Game classic, and some advice for young would-be stand up comedians.

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#497 - Badiography, Gunge Limitations and Snippy WhatsApps From The 1pm Bath

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 18:48:00 GMT

Today we ask the question: what would a world without Dave look like? A Daveless world. Imagine a sliding doors moment where a sterner producer was given the reins in 2014. Fast forward to late 2025 and in the studio, almost certainly, Elis would still be eating or have forgotten to come in. John would have vape hot boxed himself into a coma. Do not underestimate his impact.

No Dave and no wise words of “Be careful Elis” after one presenter has deployed a “Is that it?!” to John’s detailing his once every six months busy day.

Around such questioning, John also unveils Craig Bellamy’s autobiography (inc. typos) and a senior writer at Rolling Stone gets in touch. Elsewhere, there’s news of more Noel Edmonds hysteria, quite significant gunge chat and a dead silly mad dad. Oh what are those dads like!

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#496 - Cloud 7, 40 Guffs and Elements of Edmonds

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 16:00:00 GMT

What does an already packed show need to make it feel complete? That’s right, it’s an 8 minute intro (or just under a 5th of an Edinburgh show...) and an 8 minute Noel Edmonds apologia. This show is nothing if not disciplined.

Once we’re all intro’ed and up-to-date on the elements of Edmonds, it’s content content content. John does some winning and losing, Elis does some Cymru Connecting, and everyone plays a great Made Up Game that has John declaring God is real.

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#495 - Oil Gangs, Fiddler of the Roof and Bags In The Sex Shop

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 17:45:00 GMT

Oil rises to the top of the content liquid again, primarily because of its lower density. It’s hard to remove as we know, so there’s a slick across the episode clogging our feathers.

So what are your oils? More importantly, what are Adrian’s oils? And will John insist on going through all the smoke points of all the oils? Questions that are all answered within.

Plus, Elis has got deep into a karaoke hell cubicle, Producer Dave’s left his bags at a sex shop and John once again stays in touch with the cultural zeitgeist.

“Unless they set cryptic crosswords for The Times, are in Geese or are Brian Eno I don’t know who they are.”

The Bureau is of course available on Saturday only on the universe-leading BBC Sounds.

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#494 - Classic 6 7, The Best Brazil and Will Punk Tomorrow

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 16:00:00 GMT

With something being filmed just outside the studio we’re lucky Elis and John made it in for today’s episode. John was very nearly accosted to fill the leading role, and Elis was just about able to peel his eyes away from potential live blunders. Thank goodness for the boys’ dedication to #content.

Away from the glitz and glamour of a film set, Elis and Dave have both been battling with bed bugs, one with a more incendiary technique than the other...

The Cymru Connections is back, a great Made Up Game is played, and there’s even some live crosswording.

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#493 - Yeovil Creatives, Scared of My Mate and What Are Your Oils?

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 16:25:00 GMT

John has had enough of apologies. He wants action and results. Combine that with John being notified about every business expense, and you get a very scared Elis and Dave.

But sometimes it’s fear that instils results - or more importantly top quality content. This is how Sir Alex would want it.

Meanwhile the more be-thighed of the two has had enough of clouds. He doesn’t ever want to look down at them again - something which would undoubtedly baffle the forward thinking Victorians.

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#492 - Transit Guffs, Ania Magliano and Mr Big Boggle

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 16:00:00 GMT

As John returns from yet another triumphant, nay groundbreaking eye-climbing tour of the Alps, there are a few questions on everybody’s lips: What records did he break this time? Was he able to stick to the confusing speed limits of Swiss roads? And more importantly, what would the future of the BBC look like under the tutelage of the great eye-climber himself, Johnny JR?

Wins are totted up, losses are struck off, and a new future for the BBC is hammered out. Watch out prime-time TV, Wordle is coming for you.

A major player in the new BBC will be Ania Magliano, who stops by to get pelters about her boggle gameplay. In the vein of all good guests she comes bearing gifts; a cracking Made Up Game that gets the boys’ brains and feet working.

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#491 - The PM, 10 Downing Street and A Big Chinese

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 17:15:00 GMT

It’s a big big week. No phoning it in this time. No no, as this is the most politically significant balanced podcast in the UK.

Finally, the call of the nation has been answered. John Robins has been in the corridors of power. If you notice general efficiency being raised by 0.12% in UK PLC this week then you have one man to thank - external factors notwithstanding.

He brought up the economy. He brought up the welfare state. He brought up international affairs. And Elis was there. And John did all of this whilst having a prawn tempura in his pocket.

It’s a visit to the PM one minute, the next it’s the most expensive Chinese John has ever had surrounded by horrible people. The duality of life.

And yet somehow despite all these matters of import we get to Geese chat within the first 2 minutes.

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#490 - Tom Rosenthal, Thrown by Doves and Adjust or Leave

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 16:00:00 GMT

Elis and John are joined by the UK’s ‘most confusing prospect’, aka Tom Rosenthal, to talk affairs, internet fads and conspiracy theories. We also learn what their respective approaches to golf can teach us about John (The James Milner of golf) and Tom (The Diego Maradona of golf).

Elsewhere there are revelations and tears in the Cymru Connection, and a Made Up Game that tests just how much Elis and John know each other. Oh, and Elis is in a pantomime.

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#489 - Robins’ Nest, Introducing Doubt and The Zeitgeest

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 16:00:00 GMT

Are Elis and John’s stars in the ascendant? Are we on the edge of James and Robins becoming household names? Can you imagine John staring down the camera and gleefully shouting ‘Keep Dancing’?

These questions and more are explored as Elis and John put forward their cases to be the next presenters of the BBC’s flagship entertainment show, Strictly Come Dancing.

Elsewhere it’s pure Zeitgeist chat (or should we say Zeitgeest thanks to John’s recent music obsession), including: train etiquette, the previous nine Prime Ministers as foods, and what the hell does 6 7 mean?

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#488 - The Tregib Vibe, Discounting Pabs and Greg James

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 16:00:00 GMT

After a frantic morning of plucking and preening, Elis and John are confronted with the beautiful sight of Greg James. Eyelashes are fluttered, beauty tips are garnered, and in a wonderful showing of modern masculinity, four men chat about their hair care routines. And before he can go, Greg’s radio credentials are put to the test in a classic Made Up Game from the vault.

Swooning fanfares aside, John introduces Elis to the world of slam poetry and a potential new hobby, and the Cymru Connector-in-Chief tries to connect with a caller from Carmarthen.

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#487 - Ghoul (General), Ian the Liar and Having 10 Kids & Turning To Sludge

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 16:08:00 GMT

Strap in folks, it’s time for some more Wordle chat! You thought we were done with it? No sir, we, well John, has only just got started. But luckily this is X-rated Wordle chat. Sexy content which really spices up the barrel-scraping etymological discussions.

In other happenings, can you explain the Richter scale to a child when at the football? There’s also a week of many wins and losses involving sobriety, aniseed and free coats. Plus, a listener nails this show like no one has before: self-hatred, mouse catching and brand avoidance.

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#486 - Panicdoting, CMs for the DB and The Birthday Boy’s Low

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 16:00:00 GMT

Today we celebrate one of Wales’s finest exports; the Cymru Connector himself, Mr ‘Where-Did-You-Go-To-School’, the one and only Elis James! Yes it’s Elis’s birthday, and he kicks off the show by doing what all 45 year olds do: rapping.

After receiving a gift from John that is so thoughtful it almost derails the recording, Elis takes part in an eventful birthday Cymru Connection. Tempers flare, passions erupt, and objects go flying.

Then it’s time to meet one of his sporting heroes. Will Elis be able to stay cool when faced with one of the great pillars of Welsh sport? And crucially, will he be able to Cymru Connect with them?

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#485 - Promoting Crispin, 1% Cats and We’ve Got Enough Sports

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 17:05:00 GMT

It’s the annual spooky episode and that means it’s as spooky as any other podcast episode we ever release.

In a nice chatty ep shooting the breeze Elis and John uncover the layers of a man who continues to fascinate them: Bell Tower Crispin. But is Dave flouting BBC balance regulations in order to get more great Halloween activities and free car charging?

Meanwhile in mouse towers Elis is being inundated with rodents from his super intelligent cats and is John to be put in place regarding his statistical skepticism?

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#484 - Juicy Forearms, DBW and Zone 3 in the Bedroom

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 16:00:00 GMT

What’s it like to share a bank account with John Robins? Austerity Robins: a notification to his device every single time you make a purchase, no matter how small. Well we find out because nothing can get past him, with, in his own words “notifications echoing through his empty life.”

Extraordinary scenes today as Dave got chatted up on the way in to the studio. Was it a student prank? Elis’s experiences suggest otherwise...

Elsewhere there’s a backwards all-timer of a Made Up Game and John decides to pull apart a listener email which relies on more assumptions than economic growth models.

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#483 - Freezer Cupboards, Adrian’s Chipper and Not Feeling Like I’m On Fire

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 16:10:00 GMT

The UK’s motorways are now one tour bus quieter. Which perversely probably makes the roads noisier given John’s silent approach whilst inhabiting the Sad Van.

And what celebrations happened at the post-tour party at The Palladium? Debauchery and several kilos of Producer Dave's favourite over the counter pharmaceuticals? Not quite. Rather it was a media bigwig zone and John now has regrets about talking extensively about red tape to a BBC higher up. It was that sort of vibe.

So we are now firmly back on terra firma. And what better way to turn our attention back to the studio than Adrian's gadgets and a Mad Dad constructing some of the finest anti-burglary technology ever conceived.

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#482 - Zzamph, #VanMems and Potential Curry Gone Mad

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Confidence is the word of the day, with differing meanings for both of our heroes. Does John have enough of the stuff to go through with his edgy scripted intro? Is Elis sufficiently supplied to make his 5th Cymru Connection in a row? It’s all to play for, and play we must.

The other word on everyone’s lips is farewell, as the boys bid adieu to the Sad Van. She’s taken out for one last outing as Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere finally reaches its destination. It’s also a goodbye to the oft-mentioned and celebrated Tour Manager Giles, who receives his flowers and answers your questions.

There’s also a rollercoaster of a Made Up Game in which the very visual medium of drawing is brought to life in the very aural medium of podcasting.

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#481 - The Mega Bond, £14.67 Savings and Dressed As A Big Kefir

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 15:55:00 GMT

We’re at a crossroads. A vape crossroads. For the dual forces of quicker marathon times and health effects are coming together to fight against the temptations of fruity mist. And John must make a choice.

Elsewhere it’s a show of rare beasts: Elis takes it upon himself to get in the grill of a listener and do the sacking, and we dole out a good radio bell for a listener. Is that a first?

Plus, John’s decided he can’t keep working with the other two. As such, Dave’s got him really down. Thanks Dave, Elis will have to inject a lot of cake and energy into the Tuesday record now.

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#480 - Hot Trees, Exhaustion Tears and Let It Be Birds

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 15:00:00 GMT

What’s the best way to round off 39 hours of no sleep? Invite 7 young girls round for your daughter’s birthday sleepover, that’s how! Were there tears? Of course! Did said tears belong to Elis or the kids? Listen to find out.

Elsewhere we’re answering the question, ‘is mid-October too early to be talking about Christmas?’ Not in these parts it ain’t, as Elis makes a startling claim about Irish wishlists and John questions the role Santa played in his childhood festivities.

All this, plus what comes to mind when you think of Brian May, a rollercoaster of a Road to Nowhere, and huge developments in the Cymru Connection’s role in forging Wales’s national identity.

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#479 - Going Cockleless, Lamb In Bed and The Elis James Clerical Universe

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 16:01:00 GMT

This show has been many things, but right now this a cockles podcast. Elis’s homecoming show in Swansea was very much tied to whether he could get cockles at breakfast which sets us off on a cockle rollercoaster. But will Dave like them?

There’s also a very intense Ask Us Anything, and a 1.5 times playing of the jingle. Plus, what meat would you eat betwixt the sheets?

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#478 - Zones, Curry Pyjamas and Pre-Time Speeches

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 15:00:00 GMT

If there was an award given out for the ‘Most Tense Moment in the Final Round of a Game Made Up by a Listener’, then this show would win it. Fresh from their triumph at the British Podcast Awards, Elis and John look to add another trophy to the cabinet by creating a moment so contentious and dramatic that it requires the use of VAR; Voice Assisted Referee.

Away from the Made Up Game hijinks there’s week-late-Ryder Cup chat, a revelatory story about the lengths a young Dave Masterman went (literally) for love, and a mystery caller in The Cymru Connection unearths some troubling memories for Elis.

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#477 - Oasising, The Sero Clan and Trapped in Neasden

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 14:30:00 GMT

It’s 3 croaky voices in the studio today because Elis and Dave have Oasised once again, and poor old John is unwell. Luckily that means a general vibe alignment is struck, but, crucially, the standards do not slip. For Elis and Dave both have tales of struggling to get out of Wembley, and John wonders which of his awards would be best suited to beating off an intruder.

The other overriding question of the day is would you rather visit historical moments as a person or as a ghost? If that doesn’t provide hours of conversation for you and yours this weekend, we’re not sure what will.

All this plus sexy flags (have we finally found THE sexiest flag?), John makes it into an actual cryptic crossword, and Dave faces accusations of spreading false information.

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#476 - Explicit Cakes, Sewer Coffee and A Sexual Holiday to Cardigan

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Having conquered the earthly plane, Elis and John are taking to the skies. Can they become the first podcast to be recorded entirely in space? Or will the anecdote well run dry too quickly?

Back down on Earth there’s a debut trip to Birch Services for Johnny JR, Elis is positively giddy after the pair run round the natural sights of Llandudno, and we hear one of the greatest shame-inducing lines in a cracking Shame Well entry.

Oh, and this week’s Made Up Game throws up a result rarely spotted in these parts…

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#475 - Two Pint Problems, Yaris Rats and Carry On Loving Britain

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 14:50:00 GMT

It’s a huge episode for loving Britain, but more importantly it’s a huge episode for cagoules. This is the UK’s number 1 cagoule podcast, and a very special guest has got Elis barking like a waterproof dog in heat.

If you’re anti-outer layers then this is not the place to be.

It’s slightly lighter ground on the anecdote front as John has just written down ‘Autumn’ and Elis can’t even handle drinking two pints. A loss for James but there’s more wins for Robins in a week where he smells different for the first time since 1998.

Plus we ask, "what would happen if you gave a sherbet dip dab to a pagan?"

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#474 - The Shusher, Donning Donnington and Content: The Movie

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 15:00:00 GMT

In a life full of achievements John may have finally topped the lot. In his 5 year battle with the word game that most people stopped playing a few years ago, John has finally come out victorious. Yes, he’s Wordled in one. It’s a big day. But the main question is, did it make him happy?

There’s another chapter of Elis and John’s Road To Nowhere, in which the boys are forced to think on their feet and attempt to avert disaster. The quick thinking of one of them saves the day, while Dave goes on his phone.

Then it’s a classic case of a haiku-based Made Up Game and the potential unearthing of an exciting new voice in the haiku arena; watch this space!

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#473 - James Acaster, The Sad Van and Anne Tuna

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 16:35:00 GMT

473 episodes in and there is still room to excavate the vast intricacies that make up the Pompeii dig of John Robins’ mind. Grab your JCB because there’s a dump truck’s worth to uncover off the back of the latest adventures from the Sad Van. And it all boils down to one thing, as the hotels John’s willing to stay in simply say so much about the man.

A generic hotel brand is the vessel through which we can get to know him.

Does John actually like the things that he likes? Is he a star player who performs badly if he’s pampered? Is it all about fantasy, reality, expectation and fulfillment? Is he a “lunatic” for positing made up things that could go wrong for more money? Does John want character in his life? Is shampoo being separated from shower gel too much of a luxury?

And to answer all these questions we need the assistance of James Acaster, one of the More Money Than Sense Boys.

Plus there’s romantic tests and more evisceration of Dave’s Parachutes vinyl.

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#472 - 47 Kisses, #NoPowerUps and The More Money than Sense Boys

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Move over Oxford Union, debating has a new home! As Elis and John towers has turned into a hotbed of discourse and deliberation. The big topics are given the respect they deserve and the order of service for today is as follows: What’s the saddest song ever written? Hotels: budget or bespoke? And finally, are baths rubbish?

Aside from heated arguments about the temperature of bath water, Elis and John continue their travels around the UK, this time attempting to spot some rare geese.

John tells a tale of coming perilously close to soiling one of the nation’s royal parks, there’s a self referential game to test the boys’ knowledge of themselves, and a Shame Well-er gets overly friendly with her boyfriend’s colleagues.

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#471 - John’s Critical Path, Elis’s 0.0% Curry and Dave’s Not So Silent Alarm

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 15:18:00 GMT

What starts off as a huge day for John (book deadline day) turns into a massive (massive it is) day for poor old Dave.

As the saying goes: ‘The best laid plans of podcast producers often go awry’, and Dave’s idea for the team to record remotely gets derailed quite spectacularly by a faulty alarm system. Brace yourselves for the most stressed you will probably ever hear one of the UK’s most unflappable men.

Back to John, and he tells us early on that he’s feeling ‘absolutely dreadful’. Book deadline day is taking its toll, but luckily a text from Elis’s brother-in-law lifts his spirits, as does the arrival of a record in the post for poor old stressed Dave.

There’s the start of a podcast feud with No Such Thing As A Fish, chat about successfully bartering with a supermarket, and the introduction of a new jingle that wouldn’t be out of place on Lou Reed’s Transformer.

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#470 - Old Man Bum, A Dream A Dream of Beef and Lust: 12 Bodies That Changed My Life

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 15:00:00 GMT

The boys have been busy bees recently and the show’s in danger of turning into a Michael Palin travelogue. Elis has returned from France and regales us with stories of visits to ex-military factories, intense chats with German families and Isy’s attempts at speaking French.

Then it’s time for the first instalment of Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere, where your favourite podcast hosts drive around the country for no apparent reason other than to visit their valued family members. They’ve clipped on their mics (much to Elis’s embarrassment) and invited us onto the tour bus. Expect travel-based badinage and a whole lot of service station chat. Radio 4, are you listening?

Back in the studio and on bum-based terra firma, Elis has gone up a pant size because of his ever-growing behind, whereas John’s seems to be ageing beyond his years.

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#469 - The New Beans, In John’s Time and Eating Margaret Mountford’s Hair

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 15:45:00 GMT

The boys are fresh from driving around the country for charity with Ian Botham, which of course means Elis is exhausted and tour newbie Dave is absolutely fine.

And there’s more bad news for Mr James as the Elis vote is being split in the Listeners’ Choice vote at the British Podcast Awards. He’s going to get pilloried by one co-host or maybe both. But given that John is more likely to lacerate Elis than Bubbins, place your vote in this stable. Find it online somewhere.

And there’s also some Mad Dads to dig into and could John step into a Bragg-shaped hole to front Radio 4’s most influential discussion show?

Remember, there’s bonus Saturday content *only* on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.

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#468 - Noble John, Sugar Me Twice and Good Old Gent

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 15:00:00 GMT

The ripples of last week’s Elis James mega-rant are still being felt right across the BBC, and despite vowing to ignore the call to pen John’s obituary, Elis has rowed back and done just that. Brace yourself for some emotional heft and candid commentary on John’s propensity for darts at university.

But John’s made of sterner stuff these days and recovered to reveal the sighting of a certain car has left him shocked to his very core. Elis and Dave, on the other hand, don’t seem that bothered…

Elsewhere there’s some classic ‘what would you do with loads of money’ chat that somehow leads to a conversation about Liam Gallagher’s coat collection, and a geography-based Made Up Game hits the mark with very little knowledge needed of the Falkland / Faroe Islands.

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#467 - Chiles Miltree, Toddler Watson and King of the Nerds

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 14:15:00 GMT

There’s a surprise in the offing for John. Not that that’s a surprise to him. Nothing gets past old Sherlock Robins. Especially Producer Dave positioning a phone on a table at a very slight angle.

But said surprise leads to some incredible finds about Johnny JR which leave Elis and Dave’s jaws on the floor. This was not what had been intended. Elsewhere John has an out of body experience reflecting on the fact that there’s an entire segment on the show dedicated to his personal wins.

Plus, John enjoys an email that could not have been more in his wheelhouse if it tried. For anyone else it would have been useless and just tossed on the Wasteland.

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#466 - The UK’s Dumb Plums, The McFlurry Route and The Menutality Monster

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Today’s episode is filled with the big questions of our age. These are the things that government top brass are pouring over day in, day out: Is Martin Lewis up there with Galileo and Mozart? Can you put goodwill on your shelf? And most divisively, is wee ever fine in a paddling pool?

It’s a show that asks questions rather than answers them, and you the you the listener are left to make up your own minds on these contentious issues.

What we can guarantee, however, is wall-to-wall Elis and John certified bangers: top-tier anecdotes, a classic Cymru Connection, a wonderfully chaotic Made Up Game, and a toe-curling Oasis-based shame to round things off. Sit back and enjoy the Elis and John vibes in your area.

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#465 - Mr Headinhands, Kirsty’s USP and The Stomach Microbiome of My Instagram

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 14:30:00 GMT

Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him.

Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show.

Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money making ground, Scatman John gets an unexpected amount of airtime, and Elis does a surprisingly good impression of a history teacher.

Remember to seek out some bonus content in the form of Saturday’s Bureau de Change of the Mind. That’s only available on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.

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#464 - Aloof Disinterest, Raised By Rats and A Sixth Form State of Mind

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Memory lane is today's destination of choice, as John dons his rose-tinted glasses to reminisce about the time 'an arrangement was made' for him to return to his secondary school to assist in its production of Guys and Dolls. Was he officially invited back? Did John simply turn up because he had nothing else on? We're still not entirely sure, but this proud Assistant Director is giving back in a cool way, and that's all that matters.

Elsewhere, Elis channels his inner McIntyre with a surprising side offering of Trump, Producer Dave is now worried sick that his house is about to fall down due to an influx of rodent faeces, and 'Don't Hate the Player or the Game - Hate the Governing Body' is the unexpected soundbite of the summer.

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#463 - The Trifecta of Value, Celya AB and A Bin Bag of Marmite

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 16:25:00 GMT

There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now.

Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John introduces her by making it self-aggrandising. Exactly what Norton and Parkinson would do. Plus Elis gets rinsed by a listener yet again and we dig into the various chain restaurants of Woking.

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#462 - Burger, Sell Me Your Suitcase and Topless Dave In Front of An Olive

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 15:50:00 GMT

John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose.

But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that required an entire week of deliberation and a classroom’s worth of children.

Plus, turn another page and you'll find a one off feature which may or may not feature a dulcetly crooned jingle.

Remember you can catch bonus E&J only on BBC Sounds on The Bureau de Change of the Mind. So go and inhale those if you haven’t done so already. (We’re past DI Robbyns nonsense now, so it’s just more of the boys).

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#461 - Elis, Man City’s Back Four and Will The Drummer From Coldplay

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 15:35:00 GMT

We start in the anecdote Wild West. Specifically it was wild [north] west London for Elis as he’s been to Oasis in credibility damaging seats. The best seats in the house, surrounded by some of the most famous people in the country. He *could* have asked for General Admission. But he didn’t and that suggestion is shoved up the tunnel of anguish.

City backline Akanji, Dias and Gvardiol were all with him and all saw him in tears. Incidentally Gvardiol was papped on commando retreat this summer smeared in war paint. Something you wouldn’t catch Elis doing as he nibbles on his prawn sandwiches.

But there are others swinging into the anecdote town, including the most handsome cowboy around, Luke McQueen. We also receive reflections on Elis’s inability to remember Pythagoras' theorem and open up his big ideas box which contains the phrase “health podcast”. *AND* there's a potential ill-thought out feature in the offing. It's hit after hit.

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#460 - John’s 50 Kids, Nish Kumar and The Cobbles Sing Their Plaintive Lament

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 14:55:00 GMT

It’s a lament time of year. It’s an Edinburgh time of year. A time when John yearns for the crippling comedic examination which is the Edinburgh Festival. For he cannot experience that emotional rollercoaster this year. He can’t sit on a stage and call himself a C*** after someone shouts “have you had a ploughman’s” during the most emotionally hefty part of his show.

Thankfully Elis’s wedding DJ, Nish Kumar, is on hand to bring despatches from the Caledonian comic frontline.

And as always that isn’t all. Because as a magazine show commands, there must be a selection of other lighthearted segments and features. In such bits expect John to, yet again, admonish Elis’s potential car selection and a return of an old featurey friend to set tongues alight.

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#459 - Josie Long , Verge Christ and Mammary Glands In The Runner Beans

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 15:35:00 GMT

Elis has secured a last minute Oasis ticket, but the big question is… what *does* he wear??? Will Liam stop during Champagne Supernova and pick him out specifically?

Meanwhile, John has had two prawn vindaloos and there’s been ‘interest’ down below. This is all amidst the great wildflower debate which continues apace, and Elis is on the end of a lot of stick. What if we created a tantalising buffet of ecological confusion?

There’s also further blow out from Elis’s Made Up Games failings and ensuing existential crisis. And speaking of blowing an extraordinary Mad Dad explodes into the inbox for the boys get their teeth into.

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#458 - Simon Davies’ Uncle, #CigsNotPigs and The Protective Wall of Human Community

Wed, 30 Jul 2025 14:57:00 GMT

It’s a big show for Elis’s confidence. After failing to clinch the first quint-connection last week, he was already on the ropes. But throw in a Made Up Game question harking back to school maths, and another tense outing of the Cymru Connection, and he may (does) turn into a man on the edge.

And for said Made Up Game we have a very special guest in the studio. It’s someone who brings Elis and John vibes to the area most weeks, and they’re here to present their very own game.

Plus there’s a lot of talk about imbalance within the BBC and the classic question: what if 100,000 cars watched Oasis?

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#457 - Becoming Compost, Squire Dave and #SenseTheSoil

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 16:33:00 GMT

Elis and John vibes in the areoh! Producer Dave has been to see Oasis and talks the boys through the various ‘ingredients’ that made it a night to remember. He also recounts a living nightmare he’s just experienced including missing equipment, an excitable crowd in Oxford, and a cat that can’t stop weeing.

Elsewhere there’s all the accoutrements that make up a classic Elis and John offering: John provides a deep dive into the significance of pheasants in Danny Champion of the World, and makes an admission about today’s Wordle that will rock you to your very core. Elis expresses his love for the pay-as-you-go car scene, only for John to provide a chilling prediction for the future of motor travel…

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#456 - Mad Foxes, Papa Podium and 40 Rhodris

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Elis is on the precipice of glory. Just two things stand between him and immortality. First up is the chance to be crowned the fastest dad in all of key stage 1 at his son’s sports day. We know he plays football a lot and we know he cycles to Brighton sometimes, but can Elis do it on an overcast Thursday in South London?

Secondly, our very own son of Wales has the chance to write his name in Cymru Connecting history (a game that, lest we forget, only he plays professionally). He’s Cymru Connected 4 weeks in a row; can he obtain the never-been-done-before quint Connection?

John is already a winner this week, as he crowns himself Generation Air Fryer’s new pin-up boy. And he makes some bold and slightly worrying claims about the aesthetics of his stomach.

Elsewhere there’s a belting Made Up Game from one of you the you listeners, and Mad Daddery gets turned up to 11.

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#455 - Badly Well, Warm Panic and A Defence of Yodelling

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 16:38:00 GMT

It's a very smell heavy show today but the aromas aren't good as listeners inform Elis and John of a quite literal VW barrel of eggs and a queasy French exchange tale.

Meanwhile Maisie Adam is very very hungover after England’s dramatic quarter final win, and Dave gets sacked twice in the first 10 minutes after his lads trip to Mallorca. Of course he sang Wonderwall to some 75 year old couples whilst there. What would you expect?

Plus the wallet debate continues as a huge curveball is thrown into the mix, potentially changing John’s worldview: What if it’s just a bin?

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#454 - Swiss Arrogance, All Cars are the Same and One of the UK’s SUVs

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Elis needs a new car. But how can John advise him on his next whip when shackled by the understandable constraints of undue product prominence? Well John has been on a special course, the Balance BBc (Hons) at a local uni, in order to undertake this difficult task and be What Car?* for the impartial content generation. Can he navigate such tricky waters / roads without risking complaints from rival manufacturers?

But none of that matters in practice because all cars are the same. Every single car. There’s not a single difference between any of them.

Beyond such automotive decision making it’s a busy show. Producer Dave is still off ruining quaint European squares on his lads trip and the boys are joined by two of Elis’s radio heroes for a reflection on radio of the past. There’s also some belting Mad Dads and can Elis complete his first ever Connecting four in a row?

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*Or Autocar or Auto Express or Classic & Sports Car.

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#453 - Decking or Necking, Dad of the Year and Too Handsome to Focus

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 16:04:00 GMT

Elis is back from Euros Trip No. 1 and he’s Dad of the Year. A far more prestigious award than the 2008 accolade of the same name won by Peter Andre and sponsored by “Daddies Sauce”. Yes, his daughter not only experienced an unforgettable time watching the Welsh women, but she also saw her two favourite artists in eight days. Could Elis now become the best dad of the 21st century?

John meanwhile has had a sweat overload and Producer Dave is off sunning himself in Mallorca. Amidst such a backdrop it’s asked whether the wallet is in fact dead, and there’s a chat with Maisie Adam to warm the cockles. And we get out the tally chart to see if John is victorious this week.

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#452 - Here Lies The Volkswagen Barrel of Eggs

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 14:55:00 GMT

After many moons of service the mobile terrarium / paint dump / dodgem, the VW Barrel of Eggs, is no more. And today’s show is in tribute to that trusty steed.

Currently lying in state, when it makes its final journey on the back of a low loader to the scrapheap make sure to line the streets of South London and doff your cap.

Yes this is the only podcast to pay tribute to two different cars coincidentally manufactured under the auspices of the VW Group. Pushing boundaries and all that.

But how will John handle the news?

Despite so much time dedicated to such fun there is enough left over for some secondary fun on a bleak day. Can Elis hit a *true* return to Connecting form? Plus, there’s a thrillingly competitive Made Up Game.

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#451 - OG Guffer, Rodders (A) and The Man Is Your Husband

Fri, 04 Jul 2025 18:10:00 GMT

John’s annoyed because Elis and Dave have used all their material before the mics came on. Chin wagging like old ladies at the salon. But as is often the case we are saved by delving into the depths of insignificance.

Some people think that the mines of inconsequentiality had run dry on this show. That the pick axes couldn’t uncover anything more minor than previously. But there's the richest of seams for John to sink his teeth into as Lawrence throws more fuel onto the one touch fire.

And it’s a big old busy show for John’s also got some very significant news that’s written in the stars and Video Producer Izzy explains the concept of situationships to men in their forties.

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#450 - Backing Framed Content, Backing the Compliance Form and Backing the Riff

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 15:00:00 GMT

The time has come to pick a side: are you pro-riff or anti-riff? Do you think that caution kills the riff? Would you wilfully step into the riff matrix and do your damnedest to see it through to the bitter end? In short, do you back the riff? This is what Producer Dave must decide.

But he’s not the only one facing tough questions this week. Elis is confronted by his young son about a timing mishap that leaves him quoting Harold Wilson at his daughter in his pants. And John is left questioning why people act so strangely whilst waiting for the tube.

There’s also an excellent outing of the Cymru Connection, a tense dice-based game, and the boys riff the first ever 100% watched TV program.

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#449 - Rodmas Day, Magnificent Lions and Every. Journey. Counts.

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 16:20:00 GMT

It’s a strange old time for Elis James. On the one hand he’s being called a thirst trap on the carra (the Instagram carousel, for those not in the know); people can’t seem to get enough of his floppy hair, his jawline, and his interesting t-shirts. On the other hand, he’s getting hammered for slagging off Belgium, and having some harsh words directed at him by one of TV’s greatest quiz hosts. What the sigma can he do!?

But no worries, it’s Rodmas Day! He’s off to see Olivia Rodrigo, one of the most famous singers on the planet, whom John’s never heard of - he's more of an Avril Lavigne guy.

John’s been busy chalking up his wins and losses, and working out whether the massive box of carb chews he bought was a good or bad purchase.

There’s a lovely chat with biker Adrian Chiles, more taxi-related stag antics, and John finds common ground with an emailer’s assertion that every journey counts.

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#448 - Doob Monsters, Access To Washers and I Don’t Know Hague

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 14:55:00 GMT

There’s something drifting in on the air today. A funk. Criminality. Yes it seems to be bifta o’clock as John spots a doob roller on the tube. That, and it being the relaxfest which is Glastonbury, combine to see the hazy funk of ‘da ‘erb’ and its ensuing uncoolness discussed at length. Because simply put this is not how Britain will build back better.

Elsewhere, Elis comes in today on a high. A cycling high. And that high isn’t from anything which Lance Armstrong might have partaken in. It’s just the high of exercise, good vibes and raising money for charity. A figure that was primarily boosted by John. Humble, giving John. Why? Because that’s just who he is.

There’s also a Made Up Game which appeals to Producer Dave’s topical content nose, a classic Mad Dad and the expectation of Elis knowing William Hague’s wife.

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#447 - Davie vs Horse, Bin Gear and The Gulag of Truth

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 16:25:00 GMT

There’s some good upstanding British gear flying around today. Bin chat.

In less disposable content, there’s a right to reply from one of Colin’s holiday companions and he may have to be sent to prison for telling the truth.

Plus there’s an absolute anxiety dream as John is forced to sit through playing the voice of DI Robbyns to someone from Cork.

There’s bonus post bag content over on the Bureau de Change of the Mind on Saturday morning. ONLY on BBC Sounds.

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#446 - Bowie Crocs, Knee Length Utility Socks and Courteeners of Comedy

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 15:05:00 GMT

Elis James has become the story, and not for the right reasons. No matter how much he talks about ‘Zoe on the train’, there’s no doubt that our Cymru Connecting prodigy has lost his way. He’s in the Bobby Gould years. Today we attempt to correct his woeful form with some expert help.

Colin makes a welcome return to proceedings as John shares more information about his holiday. Plus, there’s a belting taxi-based stag Shame, and everyone tries to work out who Alan Howard is.

And remember, the price of success is always paid in full and in advance.

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#445 - Colin, Carras and A Big Frozen Bag of Mince

Fri, 13 Jun 2025 15:50:00 GMT

You can tell John’s been on holiday because he starts the show by giving a promotion to someone who doesn’t even work on the show. The mood is high.

And he’s come back a new man. He’s Colin now. An even more chill and organised version of Johnny JR. He’s the opposite of pura vida - i.e. not the same as his travel companions, who included someone who lost their bank card before they set off and a second bank card before they returned. No surprises for who that could be.

So expect a bumper John Wins Again Costa Rica Edition feat. bums.

Plus there’s a grovelling apology from Elis after he dug out a valued friend, reminding us of the important phrase “putting percentages on curries isn’t very fun”.

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#444 - Tim Key, He Needs A Cup Run and Bit Early For A Pint So I Have An Easter Egg

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 15:02:00 GMT

William Wordsworth, Carol Ann Duffy… Tim Key. Just a few of the great poets this fair nation has produced. But there are two more names to add to the pantheon, two new kids on the block: Elis James and John Robins. Our heroes have picked up their pens (opened their laptops), unfurled their manuscripts (opened Word), and trawled their creative depths to write some verses that Shakespeare himself would be proud of.

Why is poetry the order of the day you might be asking? Because the aforementioned Tim Key has unlocked the door to the house and made himself at home, that’s why! Plus he’s only gone and made a film which crucially John wasn’t invited to the screening of.

Elsewhere, there is newsworthy Cymru Connection to captivate people, but are they being entertained for all the wrong reasons? Also Dave’s life has fallen apart because Hannah’s gone to Ibiza.

Tim’s also in Saturday’s Bureau de Change of the Mind if you want some bonus Key. That of course is only on the delectable BBC Sounds.

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#443 - Mockproof Robins, Medium Cod +1 and Good Black Eps

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 14:00:00 GMT

After a week when John offered apology texts to Elis, Dave and the production team for being in a bad mood, he’s back to his Billy best. There’s a bright ray of sunshine in his heart and nethers which clears the studio air. No black eps today and Elis can leave the studio without an impending sense of worry.

But there are challenges afoot for our hero, as he contends with holidaying with one whose administrative approach sits in bleak contrast to his own.

Luckily he’s superchillathon, and amidst such admin fears there’s a decision to build a harvesting coop for the nation’s Good Eggs. Plus Elis’s mocking of a reaction to some quality snap bags sees the Welshman hoisted by a double sealed petard.

Check out this week’s Bureau bonus on Saturday, only on BBC Sounds, where rumour has it there’s a very special guest joining the chaps.

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#442 - Tara Me Sue, More Pear Puddings and Dark Days in Denbigh

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 14:55:00 GMT

Wagon wheels, mushy pea hummus and baked bean daal. Move over Rick Stein, there’s new gastronomic broadcasters in town. Yes, food is the order of the day as the delectable George Egg rides into the studio to serve up a delicious Made Up Game for Elis and John.

And the theme doesn’t stop there, for before you can say ‘Ready, Steady, Cook’ there's a longing for Great British puds and the question “why do chippies give you so many chips?”.

In non-edible happenings will Elis continue to fail at connecting until death? That and much more in 50 minutes of digestible content.

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#441 - Full Fibre Content, Ladies Lashathon and Taking a Mini Retirement

Fri, 30 May 2025 14:00:00 GMT

It’s the TFI Late Review on the show as a night-time recording has Elis at his energetic peak. He's ready to throw a chair at a wall and also discuss the latest avant-garde Spanish melodrama. It’s a different vibe altogether, the boys don’t even know what day it is. But in such a circular audio environment, what even are days?

We speak to the chattiest man in Wales - a pillar of the world accent community no less - and there is a real fear that Elis could be stealing John’s exercise thunder. Not what you want on a day where John’s creaking limbs might as well be made of wood. It’s also a show chock-full of 90s references with targeted history for the benefit of the under-35s.

Remember, the Bureau de Change of the Mind is exclusively available on BBC Sounds on Saturday morning. And for those who don’t revel in top class audio drama, this week it’ll be led by emails.

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#440 - Beefcake Alert, The Lust King and Producer Dave’s Handsome Surprise

Tue, 27 May 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Every week on this show you think that the last vestige of John’s weird past is revealed. You think there cannot be any more layers peeled back. And then bam(!), another one, as yet another aspect of intense Robins c.1994-2004 hits you smack in the face. This is one such episode.

But don’t worry it’s not all too harrowing, for there’s a huge and extremely handsome surprise for Producer Dave, and a couple of absolutely top tier Mad Dads.

Plus, Elis just simply needs to connect, as the words ‘Derby’ and ‘County’ are floated regarding his Cymru form.

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#439 - Inverting The Pilaumid, Winning 18 Apples and The Mayor of Thornbury

Fri, 23 May 2025 17:15:00 GMT

There’ve been contrasting weeks for our two heroes. It’s a non-stop all anecdote premiere for Elis. For he has as follows… met Hugh Grant, attended Ken Clarke’s curry house, been to film screenings and had his greatest ever stag - apart from the one organised by John he stresses. *And* Mo Salah thinks he matters.

John meanwhile has been asleep for half nine each night, talked about trauma and bought two sheds.

We also have a guest who is perhaps the biggest mover and shaker in South Gloucestershire and also makes money out of small bowls of chips. Plus there are some incredible skiving emails.

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#438 - The Human Clock, Threads Be Cloves and Thanks For Jumping on That Call

Tue, 20 May 2025 15:30:00 GMT

It’s official. Elis and John are the most listened to on demand radio programme amongst the Under 35s on BBC Sounds. This is huge. Finally the boys are appealing to a demographic that extends upwards to those could well be married with two children.

Bringing 5 Live’s average age down from 57 to 55 was the aim. But they’ve overshot so far that it’s likely now pushing down to the cyber bullied generation.

And to indicate just how willing the boys are to tailor their content to the next gen, here’s a selection of the topics covered today… The standard of sewing on buttons and bedding these days. A man whose only hit was over 30 years ago. Social clubs in the 70s. Ordering a CD writer. Discussion of London’s Burning - broadcast 1986-2002.

Plus there’s countless wins, Elis hasn’t heard of a Welsh school and there’s some timely Chiles content.

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#437 - The Great Geordification, Cloud Storage Afterlife and Narrative! Narrative! Narrative!

Fri, 16 May 2025 16:25:00 GMT

He’s only gone and done it again. The serial winner himself, John Robins, the narrative bender, has won yet again. Despite not even really liking football, John just can’t help being John, and he's done something on the football pitch worthy of an end-of-tournament emotional BBC sports montage that makes Elis cry. If anything feels significant, this does.

John’s footballing escapades are recounted with the help of friends of the show Annie McGrath and Rick Edwards, but there is debate about whether the word ‘bundled’ should be bandied around as much as it is.

Elsewhere it’s textbook Elis and John as Elis gets excited about a man from Sunderland saying the word ‘school’, and John wonders what happens to our memories when we die. Classic stuff.

Lastly, after a peach of a mad dad story, there’s 100% consensus for the sentence: ‘you have to read the instructions on a chainsaw’.

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#436 - I Attract The Mums, 200,000 Items and John Robins Ltd.

Tue, 13 May 2025 15:00:00 GMT

This show isn’t often one for big announcements. But today we park the trivialities. There’s not a mention of word games or credit scores in sight. For another obsession is about to take over the life of Johnny JR. It’s big. And it could complete his transformation from movement cynic to the Haile Gebrselassie of rural Bucks*.

And Producer Dave is simply rubbing his hands together at the prospect of 11 months of ready baked content.

Oh we’re busy bees today, because there’s also time to dip into CVs of the past where Elis simply isn’t willing to accept John’s stock management claims.

There’s also some fantastic emails that shine a light on the British economy's productivity problem. AND can under pressure Elis reverse his relegation form in the Cymru Connection?

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*(Well depending on whether Dave’s contact pulls it out of the bag. Otherwise we’re back to square one).

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#435 - Orcs & All, Cannellini Alley and ‘Wisdom, Bit of Sadness, Go Home'

Fri, 09 May 2025 16:50:00 GMT

Young John Robins goes under the microscope as we learn some revealing things about his burgeoning adulthood; whilst other holidaymakers were making art around turtles and sunsets, what was a youthful Johnny JR focusing his attention on? When students were showing off their favourite books in their dorm rooms, what tomes was Robins proudly showcasing? All is revealed within.

Other specimens to go under the proverbial podcast microscope in this episode are two belting accents. Yes, the newly branded World Heritage Accents is in full swing, and two heavyweight voices enter the ring.

Plus, The Waste Land is (rightly or wrongly) compared to a long read about Kevin de Bruyne, and we can guarantee you won’t hear the word ‘batique’ more (or probably at all) anywhere else.

Be sure to listen to the Bureau de Change of the Mind on Saturday morning on BBC Sounds, your surefire way to guarantee a top tier weekend.

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#434 - TwistMcGist, Spikey Mike and Oh You’re A Catholic

Tue, 06 May 2025 17:01:00 GMT

It’s been a fallow period for Mr Elis James. The one time leading light of Cymru Connecting has faltered. Boy wonder no more. With 5 failures in his past 6 outings, everyone is asking "has his star fallen?" Will he become like Adel Taraabt, a mere “the streets won’t forget” connector of unfulfilled promise?

Today he tries to arrest the descent and rectify his mid-season slump.

There’s a lot else flying around the show today as well. The ruthless competition of the Stockport kids entertainer is examined, Elis watches pigs have an awful lot of sex at a farm, and John wants to head the podcast’s efficiency department. Back later in the week when John has actually been to Margate.

Go check out the old bonus Bureau de Change of the Mind episodes on BBC Sounds whilst you’re here as well.

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#433 - Pasta Disaster, Child Of The FTSE and The BACS Is Safe

Fri, 02 May 2025 16:12:00 GMT

Who built John? We find out that it takes more than just a village/borough/nation to raise such a superhunk. He has an entire team behind him, like all of the top athletes of his generation. And not just any top athlete superhunk, but one on the verge of yet another birthday.

With this year's birthday, Elis has pushed the present boat out even further than the standard BACS. John’s got more gifts coming out of his A than he does roulade, and they will no doubt be sweet and wreak yet more havoc on his energy levels.

Plus there’s loads of other stuff to get into including the struggles of eating a big salad, yet more wins and a belting follow up to Elis’s paint travails.

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#432 - Roast Goose, Intro Sequels and The Volkswagen Barrel of Paint

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 15:00:00 GMT

“This question will have enormous ramifications for my mental health for the rest of my life.” It’s that sort of episode. Today is MASSIVE for Robins, as Producer Dave surprises him with a humdinger of a special guest. It's John's time to enjoy the fruits of 14 months worth of Made Up Games labour.

But it’s not all about fruit - which, yes, could be deployed as a starter. It’s also an episode about mimicry and a tale regaled by Elis which will make your head sink deeper into your hands with each development.

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#431 - Corner Energy, Non-Playable John and Tubing The Room

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 16:40:00 GMT

John and Producer Dave are back from a high after John turned 2,000 revellers up to eleven with his problematic walk in music. Elis has questions but Robins simply adds so much value to live events. And he’s been adding his own energy to another live event - that of the singles night variety. And he sure did set the vibe by diving straight in with tube station facts as an ice breaker.

The dating scene is perched on the lips elsewhere as there’s a fantastic suggestion from a listener about the best ways to judge a potential partner. Namely footwell, fridge and friend.

Plus the ball begins to be rolled on the great lilts of the globe in the UNESCO Accents World Cup.

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#430 - Grief Granola, Psephologist Wildfowl and How is Scratching Free?

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 15:05:00 GMT

You’ve probably heard it whispered on the train on your way into work. You’ve likely heard mutterings about it on the concourse at the football. And you’ve almost certainly heard your grandma claim it at Sunday dinner. Well, this episode confirms the rumours; no one else is doing this.

Especially if by ‘this’ you mean an extensive chat about spare pants, an extraordinary insight into the ice cream van outside the BBC’s broadcasting hub, and an update on a boggle tournament. For this is a show that covers more topics than the world’s best stocked library. It’s the wonders of Adrian Chiles one moment, grief granola the next.

Sitting atop all these topics is a palpable sense of excitement surrounding the nation’s longest running opening set of Made Up Games. Johnny JR is currently on set point; can he channel his inner Andy Murray and secure that long-awaiting victory?

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#429 - Czecholate, 11 Years of Silence, and No One Else is Doing This

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 13:00:00 GMT

We join our heroes during a telling off session, because someone is being a naughty boy. Has John eaten too much chocolate on the way in and he’s about to experience the mother of all choco crashes? Has Elis insisted that we scrap the proposed running order to talk instead about every conceivable permutation of the Nations League? Or could Producer Dave be the one in the firing line…?

After the air has been cleared, it’s pumped full of excitement. Elis receives quite possibly the greatest bit of post to leave Postman Dave’s sack since its creation, and John relishes the prospect of ball-by-ball cricket commentary.

There’s muscle chat, zoo chat, and a tiny bit of (sorry) worlde chat.

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#428 - Hunting Aled, Gen Sea and Harriet Kemsley

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Acceptance is the word on everybody’s lips today, but it has different meanings for Elis and John. For John it’s a meaningful form of accepting things as they are in life. For Elis it’s about accepting that his wife Isy will never be interested in the Nations League. Both are valid, I'm sure you'll agree.

Also getting in on the acceptance game is this week’s special guest, Harriet Kemsley, fresh from her appearance on Last One Laughing. Her form of acceptance centres around dating, and together everyone questions whether Harriet should really be hosting a dating podcast…

Elsewhere, there’s a humdinger of a Cymru Connection (complete with surprise connections left, right and centre) and John tallies up the wins and losses in the second instalment of John Wins Again.

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#427 - OALPs, Scared To Stand and Career Progression In Feudal Britain

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Elis and Producer Dave are fresh from taking breaths of the night DJ’ing. The only two people on planet Earth to become hipper as they age. But Mixmag has it that Elis spent most of it seated. Because that’s what the top DJs do. Harris, Tong, Guetta, all from a seated position whilst sucking on Werther’s Originals.

Yes Elis got a little bit tired bless him and John simply isn't willing to let him forget it. Elsewhere there’s 7 minutes of observational stand up which is hot to go to the nimblest comic, and just when you thought guff chat had tooted its last parp there’s a hall of famer piece of correspondence.

And if you root around there’s also some lovely Mallett stuff and two big daddy Mad Dads amidst some top drawer listener generated content.

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#426 - Writing Sid, UNESCO Accents and Condemned to a Life of Seeing Clearly

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 16:44:00 GMT

John’s managed to pick himself up after last Friday’s show. Well to a certain degree at least - thank the lord. But the collective vibe scale is nudged handsomely towards ‘winning’ as Elis has had one of his all time great days. Cycling? Check. Wales? Check. All time hero who laughs at every single one of his jokes? Check.

So it’s all the fun of the fair today. The topics of ‘banning pranks’, ‘the greatest accents of the world’ and ‘how to pad out an autobiography” float around the apple bobbing content tub, ready for the boys to sink their teeth into.

And while you’re here, check out the Bureau de Change of the Mind bonus episodes in the feed. Last time out there were some real surprise thrills. That’s only on BBC Sounds.

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#425 - The Credit Score Special

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 16:30:00 GMT

We’ve hit a low ebb. The show which won Best Entertainment Podcast at the British Podcast Awards just a few years ago is dredging the bottom of the barrel. That new low being production staff researching their credit scores ‘live’ on the show. Throw in a chat with an expert on credit ratings and it’s a wall to wall credit ball.

And at such an ebb one would have thought it would lift the mood of Robins. This is him. Distilled Robins. But no. Rather, it’s broken him, because Dave has a 999 credit score without even having a credit card. Something which he simply cannot recover from. And this has affected the mood.

What ensues is a breakdown. A breakdown over being unable to nudge the needle from 999 to 1000. And a breakdown over autofilling card details on a laptop. And that’s not the end of it as we see the dangers of a John with access to a credit expert on demand. Somebody break glass for a kilo of Dairy Milk to save us for the Tuesday episode record.

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#424 - Zanecdotes, Fab Pensions and Mallett’s Depths

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Huge news in Elis and John towers today, for Producer Dave bumped into the man, the myth, the Solero supper himself, Mr Tim Davie. Could he use this opportunity to pitch a brand new true crime podcast about dupes from Stockport who get sold fake shoes? Well that commission’s ripe for the taking if there’s a Magnum that goes the other way.

Alongside yet more DG discussion Elis really thinks he should get into juggling, for some inexplicable reason, and we have a game which makes the greatest use of a beat since the invention of the bass drum.

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#423 - Gareth Guffer, Dune July and Planet Credit Score

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 17:00:00 GMT

The sun is shining, blossom is blooming and death and divorce are on the lips. Oh the joys of spring. For how is John going to bid farewell when he and his wheels go off to the great scrapheap in the sky? And how does the statistical likelihood of marriage breakup impact the need to draw cold hard financial lines in the sand?

It’s all cheery stuff but amidst all that joy Elis has to bring the tone down by documenting one of his great weeks in North Macedonia with the venerable Eggy. (Think ‘scenes’, ‘limbs’ and ‘Matthew The Pharmacist’).

Plus there’s a great bath-based Mad Dad to soak yourself in and John wants to get a credit expert on the show. ‘Which other comedy podcasts are doing that?’ I hear you ask. None. Precisely none.

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#422 - Jimmy Bond, £35.17 and Tudur Owen’s Dad’s Monkey

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 16:07:00 GMT

Palin, Chalmers, Livingstone… Robins(?!). Yes, gliding into the show today is one of Britain’s greatest travellers. An adventurer unequalled in the 21st century. Because John has been on his once per 9 months short haul trip. Naples has experienced Robins, and he it. With such pizza consumption and the undoubted oscillation between ‘hungry’ and ‘full’, Elis struggles to believe that he can actually have been a laugh there.

But filled with more pies than than all the ninja turtles combined, Robins has a pep in his step for what proves to be a Billy Belter of a show. The boys dig into the practicalities of 007 if he flew Ryanair and there’s a classic double whammy of a Shame.

Plus, there’s something new bursting through the pipes. No it’s not potable tap water or natural gas, but something far more important to John’s existence: wins.

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#421 - Yakat, Clentin Coins and Is It A Long Forest?!

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 16:50:00 GMT

Tech problems aplenty behind the scenes, but none of you will notice until the boys bring immediate attention to it. No matter though because the mood is high, for John has not yet had his two squares of chocolate.

And there’s a lot flying about today. Adrian gets intense about the length of forests and some of the finest fancy dress in the region abounds.

Plus Elis has been on a historical coffee tour of London and it’s time for the final instalment of This Is Your Stand Up Life, where we uncover a camp alter ego. Ooooo.

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#420 - Cheek Not Filth, World Beaker People Day and Apple Crumble Designed For Three

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 15:55:00 GMT

You join today’s show mid-crash. Mid-comedown. John Robins is 30 minutes post-butterscotch. How is he meant to broadcast at the top of his game on such a slippery downhill blood sugar slide? Do Elis and Dave need to have an intervention to get him back on the straight and narrow?

Amidst such a rut however there’s time to dig into offering business advice to local restaurants, and a Made Up Game which sees the tawdry line tested. Plus Elis now has old hands, and The Beaker People rear their neolithic heads once more.

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#419 - BQWND, The Bailiff of Content and Watching Mince Defrost in Real Time

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 17:25:00 GMT

If content were a wrist, chat were the blood flowing through the veins of that wrist, and today’s episode of Elis and John were the finger, then all 3 would be in perfect harmony. For this is an episode with its finger firmly on the nation’s pulse.

What else is the nation talking about than mullets, Van Morrison, dressing up your kids, and a pile of tyres on a farm near Narberth? It’s an episode that really does cover the gamut of human experience; it contains multitudes.

It also contains a pink-t-shirt-wearing John Robins, who’s decided to wear a jolly colour in order to tell his subconscious that things are better than they seem. And it contains Elis going beyond the human and trying to Cymru Connect to an email.

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#418 - Pasta Joke, Quarry Stuff and Black as Sackcloth

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 16:00:00 GMT

The Cymru Connection is officially newsworthy: we said it could be significant, and boy was it.

Sadly we didn’t get a 2000 word thinkpiece on whether opening with the question ‘where did you go to school?’ is actually harmful for Elis’s xC (expected connections), but we did get a 3 minute package on the nation’s favourite feature that will no doubt be talked about for decades to come. The boys reflect on their newfound cultural importance, and John discovers a hard truth about how his role on this podcast is viewed in Wales.

Beyond all the excitement, there’s chat about the downsides of dressing your children for World Book Day, there’s a Shame Well that’s so shameful it leads to everyone talking French, and the boys wonder why farms always have massive piles of tyres. Your usual fare, basically.

Oh, and we finally get to relive some of John's early stand up material. Brace yourselves.

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#417 - Sun on the Cheeks, The Nadir of the Mullet and Squatting in a Poltergeist’s World

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 17:55:00 GMT

Is John having a Pep Guardiola moment? For a man who wins a lot, he’s chalked up a lot of losses this week. Firstly there’s an unprecedented Wordle catastrophe that only the language of the great Bard can summarise. And secondly, there’s a barren month on the old PB’s (premium bonds).

But worry not, for John has “lit a fire in today”. What kind of fire? A content fire. Nothing can stop the man from producing content.

Elis dives once again into the annals of history to continue a comprehensive look back at John’s 20 year stand up career. And he calls on two famous friends to colour in the details.

Elsewhere, a new facet of the Mad Dad is unearthed, a listener shares a Van Morrison story, and the boys have a chat about mullets.

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#416 - That’s Massive For Me, The English Enigma and Wales Today

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 15:55:00 GMT

“Wales might be a country of 3.1 million people, but it seems like we all know each other. Well one broadcaster on BBC Radio 5 Live is putting that to the test.” [Roll VT]

It’s a big day for Elis. This could be significant. BBC Wales are in the house to cover the local / national news stories on everyone’s lips: The Cymru Connection. The eyes of a section of the UK are on him. Can he succeed when the nation’s local news comes to town?

As a result there’s not just one, but two bites at the succulent connecting cherry for you lucky rascals. Wipe those juices off your face, it's unbecoming.

Plus there’s a Made Up Game that once again confounds the boys’ lowly expectations of their own creativity, whilst Elis simply cannot get his head around plot when it’s sung to him.

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#415 - This Is Your Stand Up Life: John Robins

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 17:30:00 GMT

“I just feel ashamed and sad now.”

John’s in a bad mood. He has made this patently clear he wants nothing to catch him off guard. That’s great news for Elis when he’s got a big fun surprise for John that he’s put a load of work into. Wish him luck.

Because it’s a huge milestone week for Mr Johnny JR Robins. Two decades on the circuit. And in that time innumerable regional arts centres have felt his comedic touch in that time. So many times has John won. Again. And Again. Thus now is the time to cast a wistful eye back on 20 years of John Robins stand up, warts and all. For This Is Your Stand Up Life.

We also circle back around to sex clubs again. This time on The Wirral.

Premium bonds are like truffles in the earth. Got any truffles that you prime hogs have dug up and now stand attentively next to, waiting for us to gather?

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#414 - Yesterday’s Bone, Book Humour and The Coalface We Call Prose

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 15:55:00 GMT

John’s currently penning something which will change global culture. But what if we lift the bonnet of his genius? That is what we find out on today’s show.

For in that bonce is a V8 plucking words from the ether with such vim and vigour, and combining those words to make phrases, clauses and sentences. Word constructs which then combine to make reflections and musings that will make people go “huh, that’s profound” like nothing before.

The ease with which John hammers out words at such a pace would make Jilly Cooper, professional blush causer, blush. Pages churned out with an efficiency that if this were Bob Cratchit doing office based tasks then Scrooge would offer him a raise.

Elsewhere, there is combat over the combativeness of features and where the blame for that lies, whilst once again Elis is unreasonably put under time pressure to think of things. Plus, have you ever just snogged someone constantly for an hour?

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#413 - Generation Graze, A Chunk Funk and Rustle Click Munch Ting Ting

Fri, 21 Feb 2025 17:20:00 GMT

John has eaten some chocolate just before recording and now he’s all glum. So it’s up to Elis and Dave to get him out of his funk. Their options: 1. Take his trousers off. 2. Give him a wedgie. 3. Let him tell his anecdote about going to a folk gig and sitting in front of an annoying couple. One wonders which they’ll pick?

After the chunk funk (chocolate funk) has subsided, there’s more premium bond chat, and after Elis’s poor showing around Valentine’s Day last week, dating expert LalalaLetMeExplain stops by to impart some romantic wisdom.

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#412 - John’s Pensionversary, Riffing on Togetherness and There Will Always Be More Steves

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 16:00:00 GMT

Brace yourselves, because John is about to discover something massive LIVE on the podcast. This could be significant. This could change the game. This could mean that Project 2032(TM) has come early. It’s a potentially life-changing day for Robins, and somewhat like an episode of 24, it all plays out in real time. Strap yourselves in, folks.

And with John’s attention elsewhere, could this also be a game-changing day for our Elis James? Will the sense of excitement that’s pervading the studio seep into Elis’ attempt to connect to a random Welsh caller? Is a tap in on the cards for Made Up Games? It’s certainly all to play for.

So sit back and enjoy some textbook Elis and John badinage, featuring a welcome return of #HotChat, and a Made Up Game that features so many brand names it’s taken the production team 2 days to fill out all the forms.

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#411 - Hayley They’ve Dropped!!, #PoorBloke and A Civil Servant For Love

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 18:35:00 GMT

Love is in the air and it’s really setting Producer Dave’s pulse racing. And not just because he’s madly in love himself. Rather it’s because Elis and John are leaning into topical content in a natural fashion without prompting. Something to get any commercial radio producer excitable.

For yes, it’s Valentine’s Day. Romance is making the studio a thick humid erotic soup. Elis will send Isy a text saying “well done”. And John’s Love Heart that says “new love” on it has broken in half; a sign that pagans would have interpreted as coming crop failure.

But John is in love. In love with a new beau... the Top Shows Podcast Chart. He’s also had the greatest match with a woman of all time… his mortgage broker. In less romantic affairs we ask “could you wake a baby for £25,000?” and there’s a clash of two ingredients that were just made for each other: Mad Dads and sat navs.

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#410 - Nepo Connectors, Keir Today John Tomorrow and Richard Herring

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 16:17:00 GMT

What do the people want? Wordle Live. What do they not want? The Cymru Connection. That’s the opinion of John Robins. Just John Robins. You thought that we were out of the Wordly woods. But no, the more concern you have for the woods the more trees John will plant. PLANT being a good starter. John wants a feature substitution and he'll wage this war on Elis, listeners and production staff alike until he gets it.

Failing that, what about a daily Wordle podcast? Guys. Guys! GUUYYS!?! Don’t run off. It can’t happen anyway because they’re hard to promote and you can’t get a commercial midroll advert in if they’re too short. So it’s all fine. That door is closed.

Anyway there are larks aplenty today on the show, and not the avian sort. For Richard Herring and his singular ball are in today to talk about someone who looks like Tim Key. Plus there’s a Made Up Games which really will make TV commissioners *finally* sit up and listen to the ideas machines.

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#409 - The Double Ian, Everyone’s Sacked and John Goes In On Shoes

Fri, 07 Feb 2025 18:46:00 GMT

You would think Elis and Producer Dave would be offering praise to the mood gods, for Johnny JR is in a good one, having interviewed his favourite musician of all time for a project he cannot comment on. May - check. Oldham - check. McCombes - check (but didn’t engage). Yet the fly in the ointment: with such big energy, John’s sackings flow forth like a wave.

Equally such vim it also means there’s the vigour to go in two footed on shoes. Who could expect that?

Elsewhere, we’re on other fertile ground covering topics such as tying your shoe laces. It’s all good stuff crowned off with a proper meat and drink Mad Dad.

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#408 - Project 2032, Red Peppards and Britain Is Typing...

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 16:28:00 GMT

There’s some big goals targeted on today’s show. Firstly, ‘legacy’ is on the lips. What permanent impact can Elis and John leave?

Secondly, what can help achieve Project 2032 and allow John to retire in just 7 years?

Finally, Dave just wants to create some vaguely entertaining content and keep John busy.

The proposed options are numerous to reach the above goals. Well, everything from pottery and doing a food safety certificate. Can any of the ideas achieve all three? Absolutely not. Not even the tantalising prospect of a thousand lovely ladies or John Robins: Deal Dog.

Speaking of deal dogs, there’s a Made Up Game which lasts as long as an episode of Eastenders and really gets JR's juices flowing - Elis is also there. Also expect Elis’s questioning to be questioned... once again.

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#407 - Boring Moons, Germans Don’t WhatsApp and Grind, Block & Jumpy

Fri, 31 Jan 2025 18:02:00 GMT

Some of you wanted less not more Wordle chat. You pleaded even to the production team. But the team were scared. For there were Wordle emails that had come in. What if Emperor Robins found out they’d been squirreling such content away from him. It would displease him so. Thus he was presented with it all. And like a labrador at the bowl, he could feast. Feast until unwell.

So what of the pleas? With his 3.6 average word score laurel perched on his head, he peered down from his chaise longe. As the fickle thumb of fate turned down, and he yelled ‘No!’. And rather than getting less Wordle, it’s more. It’s double Wordle. Another 20 minutes 30 seconds of it all across two doses.

This’ll teach the complainers. The rioters. Eat your wordy gruel and be happy with it. Might assess ‘gruel’ as a potential for new starter words actually. Dave write that down. Elis was not consulted on today's content.

Anyway, aside from that there’s also non-etymological issues at play including Adrian Chiles’ pants and the rather frightening thought of ‘what if John was the second coming of Christ’.

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#406 - Callipound, A4 Ravioli and Our New Coal

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 16:11:00 GMT

Someone’s put 50p in Johnny JR today. And it’s incredible what such loose change can enact. For since the wee hours he’s been cackling into his notebook at the output of his terrifyingly fervent mind at work. So fervent in fact, that he almost struggles to get through his own twisting creation. Strap in from the off, because when he’s in top gear it’s a mind quite unlike any other.

Beyond the bubbling crevasses of John’s imagination there’s Elis James to deal with. Because once again it’s time for his own progeny to skewer him in increasingly damning ways.

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#405 - My Integrity, A Million Pounds and Why Can’t We All Just Be Clerks?

Fri, 24 Jan 2025 15:58:00 GMT

You thought you were safe from Wordle? Hasn’t everyone else stopped talking about it? Well, you were wrong. But don’t switch off, come back, come back!

For it’s an etymological *feast* today - is that a good eliminator word?! Because alongside Old English word origins and some quite impenetrable tactics chat, there are some astonishing revelations about Johnny JR’s mental approach to the global word game.

But there’s also good news in the Robins Realm because his young bum has been signed off. A young bum that yearns for the simpler less filth-ridden times of the 1930s.

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#404 - #PlasticJack, Lou Sanders and You Can Only Push The Listeners So Far

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 17:15:00 GMT

No, this episode is not a web error. Instead it contains something else which will make the content servers explode. Yes that’s right, it’s the return of the Cymru Connection. And amidst such Cymraeg content it’s fever pitch. In fact the fervour has led to an Elis on such a high that he makes financial cheques that he might not be able to cash.

In other slightly less medium shaking happenings the lovely Lou Sanders joins the boys to offer some sartorial advice. As well as Lou's usual askance approach to the world there's a Petty Inquiry is formed to handle an orthographical issue. Also, when on earth did people start cupping their bits? And is it worse now than ever?

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#403 - The Dread Brothers, Great Flanks and The CEO of My Own Mind

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 17:55:00 GMT

Akin to Weller in February 1980 ‘tatts entertainment’ was bouncing around the studio today as the boys hit action stations to execute one of their great TV ideas. If commissioners are listening then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the place to send your multimillion pound offer.

Next on the list: Adrian and John travel round the UK feeling existential dread.

Elsewhere away from such bona fide televisual hits John gives us another peek into his fervent mind via the vehicles of brown noise and the weaknesses of Hercule Poirot.

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#402 - Connor’s Killed Us, A1 Prostates and Bring Back The Erotic Thriller

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 16:22:00 GMT

With Speakergate gone (we hope) in the blink of a manually adjustable eye it’s time for John to turn to one of his other favourite pastimes: cheekiness. Trying to get plugs past Producer Dave without him noticing, by increasingly layered and convoluted means? Count that checked and duly intervened on. Campaigning for the return of erotic movies? Tick, oh he's a cheeky scamp that one. And that saucy subject is one he seems to know more about than he perhaps should.

In other goings on there’s a logically watertight game which causes the usual ructions from the usual parties, and despite the lack of 35 minutes on sound systems there is a brutal time consuming neg from a listener that really derails the vibe.

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#401 - Direct Dust, The Pint Control Board and …with John Robins

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 16:58:00 GMT

Nobody’s making audio like this. Nobody approaching such breadth. One episode it’s half an hour discussing home audio solutions and then the next the wheels are set in motion to achieve the pilot of Britain’s Sexiest Tattoo.

The rumours are that we’ve already hit five submissions. Could ‘a breast on a knee’ make the shortlist? And the online promo strategy isn’t torpedoed as you can get away with it on socials because 'it’s art'.

And on top of that there’s a couple of majestic Mad Dads, some clownery, blue biros and special flake dust. Just imagine if you could make it into a paste. The mind boggles.

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#400 - Builth Wells Problems, xC and John Got A Speaker

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 16:00:00 GMT

400 not out. But plough on past Brian Lara we will. And welcome new listeners for 2025. The BBC's wide reaching podcast ad campaign has no doubt brought you here. You are likely puzzled now that you're here, because what follows today is a man spending around 35 minutes ranting about speakers and the technicalities of streaming platforms, before another 35 of a man talking about knowing people in Wales.

It’s all completely approachable stuff. Debates have rarely been more heated as John has a massive bee in his big old billy bonnet about the adjustability and accessibility of modern tech. He’s been on the forums. Dave, Elis and likely most of the audience meanwhile just don’t get his problem. It’s not The Dance but has similar levels of intensity.

And in an episode of intense chats Dave finally snaps as he’s pushed to his limits by criticism following the sun lounger controversy. But fear not, because it's an impact moment. Thus despite the three match ban there ends up being three times the Connection Content as Elis has to get his head in the game.

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#399 - The Second Petard, Pad Thai for Breakfast and 11 Reasons to be Cheerful

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 18:55:00 GMT

The boys are kicking off 2025 with contrasting vibes: Johnny JR is feeling grateful, and the team think of 11 (slightly unusual) reasons for him to be cheerful (think white teeth, think flat ears). Poor Elis on the other hand is starting the New Year with the sniffles, so regales us of his Christmas antics down the line.

And is it a case of new year new pod? Will this chance of renewal be grasped by our podcasting heroes? Will this be the Great Reset 2.0? We’ll let you decide, but do bear in mind there are a lot of emails about guffs, there’s an argument about the Cymru Connection, and John explains how he spent Christmas Day in a Premier Inn.

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#398 - The Best of The Great Reset

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 08:00:00 GMT

Things that can be reset: timers, bones, electronic devices. Other things that can be reset: bantercasts featuring the BBC’s youngest and most relevant broadcasters. For this year, Messrs Elis James and John Robins hit the big reset button, and changed to a groundbreaking linear podcast-first broadcast-second podcast way of broadcasting, something that most had previously thought impossible.

After John had introduced the show in cod-Shakespearean describing 5 Live’s annual social, there were flickers of hope. When Tony Blackburn stopped by ostensibly to read from his masterwork Poptastic!, but ended up laying into Dave’s latest jingle, there were tremors of belief. And when Elis explained how John was once sacked for sadness from Deal or No Deal, the writing was on the wall; this new way of broadcasting was working. The reset was complete.

So sit back and bask in the best bits of the Elis James and John Robins podcast since The Great Reset. And we’ll be back with regular programming on Friday.

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#397 - The Sun Lounger Statute, Wednesday Ringo Regret, and I Can’t Go Till February

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 08:00:00 GMT

It’s a game of 3 halves as a trifecta of things looms large over today’s episode: Paul McCartney, a sun lounger, and a humdinger of a Made Up Game. Also looming large from the sidelines: a pigeon and some dog mess.

All of the above contribute to a wild rollercoaster for our Elis. One moment he’s experiencing McCartney bliss, the next he’s in the dumpiest of dumps for reasons that will become clear. Luckily John is on hand to cheer him up/make things worse.

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#396 - Britain’s Sexiest Tattoo, Fallible Sounds, and Content Doesn’t Stop For Christmas

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 17:20:00 GMT

'Elis and John Smash Up A Bus Stop'. 'The UK’s Biggest Dog'. 'Elis and John’s Big Supper'. Just a flavour of how unstoppable the content ideas train is today. There’s no ‘out of office’ here. Not even Keanu Reeves in Speed 3: Content Never Sleeps could stop this festive content locomotive.

For alongside such a fertile ideas flow, Father Christmas has also come early, in the shape of Elis bearing gifts. The South Wales Santa leaves his traditional presents of yoghurt and a 4 month late gift for John.

Meanwhile Producer Dave’s going to *bear in mind* marathon advice from Eliud Kipchoge. But his dad is doing a good coaching job so he might ignore it. Plus there’s an intriguing mad dad that whets the tastebuds for more details.

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#395 - A Heavy Weft, A Talented Sheep Dog and 31 Minutes with a Nun

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Fresh from their Christmas Cracker Elis and John are in a sense celebrating Boxing Day, but in another sense they’re creating linear/circular content that can be easily digested at any point this Christmas/not at Christmas at all. In short, it’s the most confusing time of the year!

But what we can guarantee there isn’t confusion about is the quality of the #content. Both Elis and John come armed with anecdotes - one involving a maps-based misjudgement, the other involving weft - ministerial banter is further discussed, and there’s a welcome return for everyone’s favourite topic: guffs.

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#394 - Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker

Fri, 13 Dec 2024 20:45:00 GMT

“Mmmh yeah Christmastime.” In a linear sense it’s Christmas Day. In a circular sense it’s some time between 13th and 25th December. Ho! Ho! Ho!

What better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker? Oh and we have festive fun. Elis and John write a Christmas song which is equal parts downbeat and administration heavy, whilst it’s the most madderful time of the year for fathers.

We’ve also got a very secret guest that Producer Dave reveals within the first 15 minutes and there’s a festive advert to rival Jean Louis that becomes far more affecting than the initially comedic idea. Whether your listening in a linear (25/12), circular (13/12 to 13/12) or any point afterwards. Merry Christmas!

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#393 - High Budget Dreams, Smacks of Mellor and That Fried Tuesday Feeling

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 15:55:00 GMT

This is sierras of the papas broadcasting, and news just in: we’re all out of papas!

John’s losing his voice because of doing an extraordinary impression of an Australian in a mystical Bureau de Change for some BBC Sounds bonus content, but we plough on! And in a way, this is the definition of ‘talent’, which we discover that Tim Davie is keen to define.

Elsewhere, there’s a classic Made Up Game, Elis (Patient Father and Nice Friend) James does some keepy uppies and Dave engages in a stag where he’s actually early for Match of The Day.

The Bureau has been mentioned here already, but if you’re missing out, then you’re missing out on bonus content described by listener Kate as “Perhaps the funniest but most bizarre 15 minutes of radio I’ve listened to in 57 years.” And where can you get it? BBC Sounds of course, with episodes titled ‘Sounds Bites’ on our feed.

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#392 - Not Letting Down 750 GPs, The Jet2 Prerogative and Sophie Duker

Fri, 06 Dec 2024 18:30:00 GMT

“All suffering is resistance to suffering” is soon followed by “we are technically a comedy podcast” on the show today. So it’s clearly another banter filled hour or so which covers the hilarious fodder of regret, gratitude and whether you should tell your BF that you’ve got a billiard room.

It’s all good stuff as Dave is pressured into doing stand up (again as he will never give). Also an 8 year old believes the show is now a “bum surgery podcast” and the lovely Sophie Duker pops along.

There’s also some great emails from vicars. Thanks revs.

Keep your eyes peeled for the bonus episode Saturday morning, only available on BBC Sounds. And it’s a classic.

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#391 - Egg on Cord, Perpetual Tennis and A Very Successful Brown Owl

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 15:55:00 GMT

There are records today for pre-Cymru Connection heads in hands as Britain’s clumsiest Welsh language comic gets all sorts of muck over himself. Amidst such mess there’s only one thing that can carry Elis James through: A songwriting talent to rival Lennon & McCartney at their peak.

This brings the return of the classic 'Dorking, Leatherhead, Ryegate’ - one for the purists. And speaking of stuff for the purists - and defenders of terrestrial radio’s most divisive feature - DI Robbyns also makes a surprise appearance for one courtroom session only in a game which slightly baffles its participants.

Want to get in touch with the show with everything from ditties to deep introspective reflections to rival de Beauvoir and Wittgenstein?

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#390 - Annsbie, We Lube Up and The Hypothetical Widow Tour 2025

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 17:27:00 GMT

“Purgatory is nothing. This is hell.” You’ll never guess which presenter’s mouth that inspiring line came out of today.

Well if you want a clue perhaps you might be able to tell that John has had a bum setback. But we lube up, we go again, and we create content. Though he has bifurcated into two - spiritual gas John and physical John - in order to remain zen.

But let’s not continue on that bum note, because there are other bum notes to be played, for there’s a quite astonishing email from a listener determined to break a record.

We also hear from the sisters of Stansbie and John’s widow is floated around the room along with the prospect of Elis getting hammered online for not reading his eulogy in Falkirk.

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#389 - Big Leg, The Cymdown Connection and Plugged Into His Router Just For You

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 15:55:00 GMT

The term ‘firing on all cylinders’ was invented for 72 minutes of audio just like this, because your beautiful boys really are firing on every one of the Content V8 today. And that’s all despite John having some flakey skin on his elbow.

That’s eight powerful cylinders for you. On Cylinder One we’ve got 'unlocking the corporate secrets of eggs'. Cylinder Two: The Novelli Protocol. Three: More eggs. Four *&* Five: The art of navigating Buckinghamshire’s beautiful pharmacy women. Six: Dua Lipa being the youngest person John can name. Seven: A thrilling man from Burry Port. And Eight: Hawaiian themed Chinese restaurants.

If only the BBC’s in-house cylinder limits* didn’t prevent yet more powerful content thrust. But rules are rules.

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*These limits were introduced in 2008, after one positively scorching V10 piece of content on The One Show. An unnamed presenter tried to compare all pies in the West Bromwich area all within a four minute VT which smashed all recommended safety guidelines.

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#388 - Let’s Lavender, Sounds Like My Love Life and Celya AB

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 18:16:00 GMT

It’s the night before Elis’ big Welsh stand up gig, and he’s packed all the essentials needed to record a smash-hit TV comedy show: spare trousers, spare shoes, nappies and a funnel.

And how best can John pep up a clearly nervous Elis? By talking him through an array of ridiculous scenarios that DEFINITELY won’t happen, and ridiculing the man's social media strategy. No wonder there are tears in the studio…

Banter free zones are discussed, John hits the heights of podcast-first broadcasting, plus the wonderful Celya AB joins us in the studio.

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#387 - Neil’s Crane Company, Paid In Chinese and Lightning In A Handbag

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 15:55:00 GMT

There’s a lot of inspiring going on today in Elis and John towers. And perhaps unsurprisingly, once again it’s Inspirer-in-Chief Mr John Robins doing the rousing. What Nightingale was to nursing, Robins is to content.

Dave goes sanulus canulus as he follows JR’s path finding - well according to John. And a glossy eyed Elis reminisces about utilising a Robins comedic innovation as he crashed and burned at a potentially career-making comedy gig. Because, deep down, we can’t but help live like Thornbury’s finest.

But what of the areas of the show where John forces Elis to let go of his reassuring hand and walk free? Well he battles to maintain his >50% Connection Rate and there’s a Made Up Game that will force Elis to rely on his practically otherwise useless NME collection instead.

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#386 - Daft Brian, Going Gallagher and The Phillips Head Bat Signal

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 17:50:00 GMT

John’s back in action - well to a degree. He can now eat Dairylea on toast and has to stand for the duration of the show. And in solidarity with the prettiest and bravest private in the Arsed Forces, Elis and Dave are also no longer seated. It’s like a podcast now manned by Zane Lowe or those under 40 business types that work standing to boost productivity by 12% and drink meal replacement shakes.

And wowee zowee are the emails standing to attention today. Some exemplary Mad Dads which stop our soldiers in their tracks and Stansbies continue their push into popular culture.

Brace yourself for bonus content EXCLUSIVELY on BBC Sounds. Subscribe and get those notifications on. That’ll buzz you out of bed on a Saturday morning.

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#385 - Yards From Davie, Calippos Wouldn’t Melt and The World’s Wealthiest Cat

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:55:00 GMT

Huge news from Leeds, for Producer Dave has been in the vicinity of the Director General himsen. Solero perched in hand, not a drop of juice on his fingers, charming the big wigs of the media world. What an honour to be in the presence of an intoxicating whiff of his Magnum cologne.

But incredibly that isn’t even the biggest news of the day. For there is huge BBC Sounds news, which, if you can believe it, is even bigger than its vast catalogue of audio.

Still reeling from all this headline double whammy the boys welcome in, statistically speaking, a guest that John has more questions for than almost any to come before - it’s Andy Zaltzman!

There’s also Wolverhampton connecting, a man screams in the gym and John remains the most fearless little fighter around as he graduates to sitting up.

Get yourselves over to BBC Sounds. It’s the *only* place for the Bureau de Change of The Mind.

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#384 - Pretty Podcast Boys, Short Tempered Cyborgs and All Time is Wasted Time

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 17:50:00 GMT

At what point does a bum recovery journey transmogrify into a spiritual journey? Probably around the nine day mark, for John’s continuing convalescence from his spooky procedure has gone beyond the physical. It’s also led to him growing a beard and looking like a Russian chess prodigy, so swings and roundabouts…

But what does excite John is the news that Elis has finally stepped into his first Sportage. Questions cascade forth from John’s lips like a gushing waterfall, as Kia talk lifts the spirits of our recovering hero.

Spirits are also lifted further through more great banter zone jet lag stories, a quite graphic bum story from a listener, and discussion about Robocop, naturally.

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#383 - Ballon D’Arts, Banter Zone Jet Lag and The Enema Within

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 16:35:00 GMT

The march of AI has engulfed everything in its path: cars no longer need drivers, paintings no longer need painters, and songs no longer need writers. But one man stands in the way of AI’s relentless progress: John Robins. What can AI do with hours and hours of one of the leading voices of generation shame? It’s a question that is finally answered in today’s podcast.

Beyond the grip of AI’s ever-extending tendrils, the finest (and probably only) example of prone podcasting continues. There’s an eventful prone Made Up Game, a wincing prone Shame, and the discovery of a brand new condition: banter zone jet lag.

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#382 - Spooooky Intimate Bum Procedures, Perfect BBC Noise and Same Postcode Different Houses

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 16:30:00 GMT

What’s the only way to spend Halloween? It’s having a spoooooky intimate bum procedure of course! So John's dressed as a spoooky ghost in a bed sheet. (He's in bed as he recovers). There’s no way he was to be knocking on the doors of rural Bucks to fill his pumpkin bucket with Chomps and Refreshers when he’s got an ice pack strapped to his behind. So it's prone podcasting at its finest.

While our backside hero recovers, it’s Elis’s job to do the heavy lifting - i.e. read the emails. But right now, really it's you doing the lifting. From Golden Age Mad Dads to Timberland tales, you're doing more incredible lifting than Lasha Talakhadze (+102kg Men 2024 Olympic Champion).

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#381 - Your Main Crem, A Talentless Forsyth and The Great Traybake Swindle

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 16:04:00 GMT

Bye Bye Mr Audio, Hello Mr Saturday Night! There are rumours that Saturday night TV is dead. That it just doesn't bring in the eyeballs that Bowen, Black and Forsyth once did and the cash well is drying up. But with five kids between them and the prospect of John’s fixed rate mortgage expiring at an unstated date, that’s still enough cash to entice the ever well oiled ideas machine into life.

Whether ‘Mr Saturday Night’ or ‘Dave & Dave’s Sexy Show’ would pull in millions is one question. Another question is easier to answer: would a BBC commissioner dashing their shiny floor dreams LIVE be box office listening? Yes, yes it would.

Aside from dreams of gunge, interviewing pets and the big time there’s some heavy hitting moments: an aurally unique Made Up Game, the Cymru Connection’s own VAR moment and potentially the ultimate Petty Parliament.

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#380 - Lord VPN, Bullied On The Boundary and Stansbie

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 17:15:00 GMT

Drink in it folks, we’re living in a new golden age. That’s right, the lesser talked about field of alpinism has reached new heights, a new zenith. And there’s one man to thank: Mr John Robins.

Johnny JR’s record-breaking successful scale of the Matterhorn with his eyes (a feat previously thought impossible) is picked over in detail, as is his expensive alpine driving, and his holiday eating habits: lots of pasta, double pizzas. Have we unearthed the new Michael Palin?

Among the usual japes - including elite mad daddery, more nightclub attire chat, and a journey from the bap to the barm via the butty - the boys also ordain a new youth oriented corner of the podcast. Slay.

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#379 - Bishop Gore Blanks, Forwarded Many Times x, and There Is An ‘I’ In Lazio

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 14:55:00 GMT

Jekyll and Hyde isn’t a work of fiction. Nor is James McAvoy in hit film Split. No. If you were to venture down the B and C roads of mainland Wales the past few weeks you’ll have seen something far more surprising: Welsh Elis and English Elis.

For there’s an astonishing revelation of the West Walian comic once thought of as polite and mild-mannered. James’ alternative persona is coming to a Welsh theatre near you and be prepared for an attitude that will shock. As well as the mental there's also time for analysis of the physical side of the game, as the boys dig into the sudden born to bench trend of the UK funny man.

There’s also a national infrastructure halting Shame, and there’s an inspirational Made Up Game sure to generate merch revenues that could pay for Tim Davie’s Calippo bill for at least the next financial quarter. All this despite an initial lack of confidence in the gameplay. Because it wouldn’t be Elis and John if they didn’t trash a game before passing it with flying colours. Trust. The. Process.

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#378 - Wacko Lacto, Gatwick Fresh and Falling Into a Big Ditch

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 15:50:00 GMT

What do we all do before going on holiday? Check we have our Big Three (keys, boarding pass, passport), worry about whether the place has a washing machine, and write up a draft will. It’s the classic Robins pre-holiday triumvirate.

Yes, Johnny JR is off on his holidays to climb the Matterhorn with his eyes. And boy does he have a spring in his step!

Alongside holiday chat, we witness the birth of a new event: The Elis and John Decathlon. Jessica Ennis-Hill and Daley Thompson watch out, two digital podcast-first DJs are coming for you.

And don’t for one second think this podcast doesn’t contain excellent mad daddery, top listener correspondence and chat about the world’s favourite app BBC Sounds.

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#377 - Dropped In The Riff Tank, Two Dads (Not Gay) and Ania Magliano

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 14:55:00 GMT

When one thinks of the great socialisers ‘John’ and ‘Robins’ are two words that don’t immediately spring to mind. But are we seeing a transformation in a week that sees John enter 1920s socialite levels of social butterflyery. From partying in Brixton and currying with top business folk, to watching Tom Rosenthal get fitted for golf clubs for four hours on a Tuesday, is there nothing this man can’t do to fill his busy schedule?

Beyond John’s Big Social Week we throw open the doors to one of the great friends and PCDs of the show, Ania Magliano, who brings an extraordinary tale of her own mad father.

Also, if you aren’t already listening on BBC Sounds, then what on God’s green earth are you doing? For all the other platforms’ merits, do they have direct inject access to live radio on digital tap? No!

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#376 - Skeggsy, Deggsy and £360 Cash

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 17:20:00 GMT

Wheel the to 1:50 scale Maine Road birthday cake out, Producer Dave is turning 40!

George Orwell posited that 1984 would be a year of bleak dystopian nightmares. In reality it spawned Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’, the film Ghostbusters and Stockport's finest podcast-first producer, Dave Masterman. Eat that, Orwell.

So it’s time to celebrate in the only way Dave knows how: with a bucket of coleslaw, an overly priced toastie, a trip to the local omnipotent bar chain and an hour of podcasting fun. We hear from an array of friends from his past including some Mancunian acquaintances…

Away from the birthday fun we get more insights into the secrets of sex clubs - John, fully clothed, has his notebook at the ready - and we all go a bit chippy mad.

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#375 - Gravel Man, My Sex Club Year and Space Cop Heart Rates

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 14:55:00 GMT

It's all about heights today, as despite scaling the lofty heights of the digital UK audio comedy chat rock face, Elis is still uncomfortable when confronted by a modicum of verticality. But not the case for John who is going to push his own ocular mountaineering boundaries.

Elsewhere there’s dinner dates, Welsh heart rates and service stations potentially located on J8. Oh and there’s an unexpected detour into sex clubs.

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#374 - Dust or Leaves, A Tight Three Seconds and Humour! Humour! Humour!

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 17:00:00 GMT

After the wave of excitement around Mr Audio’s new Welsh podcast project 'Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James', it’s time for John to enter the lucrative side-hustle podcast game. Step forward 'Trauma on The Tee with John Robins'. If deep emotional conversations and the latest bunker wedges are your thing, keep your ears peeled.

But here on this podcast, featuring two of the country’s brightest and best comedians, it’s actually Producer Dave who comes up with the best quip of the episode. Ring that good podcasting bell!

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#373 - Street Juice, The Cymru Cul-de-sac and 10 Sketches About Soup

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 15:00:00 GMT

Elis and John have been on journeys this week, both metaphorically and literally. Yes we cover their travel woes as the pair journeyed back from Wales (Elis sustained by Aberystwyth goodwill, John driven by the need to forge his own path), but we also cover the spiritual journeys undertaken in the realms of teeth whitening, shoe laces, and slug juice.

Aside from all the journeying there’s a new character introduced to the mix, a desperate attempt from Elis to avoid the hat trick of failures in the Cymru Connection, and a belter of a Made Up Game.

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#372 - My Little Lover, The ABBA Gold Approach and Cuffed by the Vice Squad

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 16:28:00 GMT

It’s happened. Elis and John have turned into crypto bros. This is now a crypto pod. It was only a matter of time…

But worry not, it’s only a fleeting transformation, and after some serious reflections the boys are back doing what they do best: discussing how to approach an all-you-can-eat buffet, wading further into the dried fruits vs sweets debate, and questioning the coolness of marshmallows.

John reflects on yet another successful golfing trip, and Elis delivers his latest hot take on popcorn. It’s vintage stuff.

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#371 - 3 Features & the Truth, Get It Done and Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 15:00:00 GMT

It’s a giddy John we encounter today, for our hero is about to embark on his yearly golfing pilgrimage to Elis’s beloved Portugal. Talk of unspeakably high win rates and historic opportunities to become “better than Man City at golf” abounds.

Elsewhere, there’s a lengthy discussion about the pros and cons of skipping TV theme music, an eventful outing of John’s favourite feature The Cymru Connection (which leads to a yet another new podcast idea for Mr Audio), and a “billy-bink-bink-bonks” Shame Well entry.

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#370 - Bran Time, Sky Blue Limos and Fellowship on the Ring Road

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 15:00:00 GMT

Tick tock Robins went down in history. But tick tock Masterman? Now that’s a whole different ball game. Like Stuart Pearce or Joe Royle missing the team bus, you’d think that unheard of, but not today. So expect the sackings to fly.

Away from such tardiness, Elis reads the best and second best emails of this financial quarter, John features in one of sport’s most hilarious beefs and, shockingly I know, in depth service station chat interrupts some Tolkien Mad Daddery.

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#369 - All Beauty, A Sexier Welshman and David O’Doherditty

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 14:55:00 GMT

Oh we do have some fun don’t we. And if the Funometer was measuring in funtometres then today’s show would cause it to 404 error due to exceeding the fun scale. And it’s in large part because walking jingler David O’Doherty is on the show with a funtastic Made Up Game to play!

Plus there’s a Shame that’ll really make you squirm and an absolutely compelling Welshman for Elis to sink his parochial teeth into. But there’s also time for #reflection with some earth shattering news about the Bag of Death.

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#368 - A Hot Lung, Busking Medieval English, and The Importance of News (On the Hour, Every Hour) on Student Radio

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 17:10:00 GMT

As time continues its cruel, relentless, and inevitable march onwards, thoughts turn to retirement plans; how will our heroes see out their final days? Who has their eye on one big final paycheck? The answer may surprise you. And who doesn’t mind just fizzling out quietly? Elis.

It’s also a big day for Producer Dave, as his lost university dissertation finally sees the light of day. The nation has been waiting with baited breath to hear about the past, present, and future of Sheffield Hallam’s student radio station Rush Radio, and today we can deliver the goods.

And fortunately/unfortunately (deleted as appropriate), there is still a little bit of the dance to be danced...

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#367 - Marie’s Tethered, Grown Men and Oh Really Fennel?!

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 14:55:00 GMT

After such vigorous dancing last time out the boys have done their stretches and downed their recovery shakes in preparation for a classic Elis and John day at the office.

In a quite astonishing move, Dave takes a laptop to church, Elis struggles to follow the recipe and there’s a Cymru Connection for which circular content was designed for.

Elis also takes in some excellent advice from you the you the listener on how he can chart the waters of wedlock and John makes a quite startling revelation about how he spent the other afternoon.

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#366 - The Dance

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 17:21:00 GMT

We’re all excited about dancing the dance. The most intimate dance. Cheek to cheek entering the ballroom. John woke up at 3:30 this morning on edge about dancing the dance. His favourite conversation. The romantic frisson. The interplay between venue capacity, ticket price and audience demand. The delicious dance. The one thing better than talking about the dance is being actually involved in the dance.

What the above probably hasn’t elucidated is, it should be pointed out, is that the dance more specifically is 45 minutes of discussion about dynamic pricing. This might not be for everyone. So if you’re against that then do leave the show playing whilst you nip out the house because we need to keep those retention figures up.

There are things in this episode which don’t involve dancing but it makes up about 25%.

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#365 - Big Fat Tears, My Thumb’s In France and Phil Wang

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 14:50:00 GMT

We’ll throw down the gauntlet here. This is *classic* Elis and John. A podium place episode. Champions League. There, I said it. Big laughs, sex swapping, something harrowing from Robins, an absolute Billy belter… of a Cymru Connection, Americans dealing with 5-year-olds’ opinions on gun control and a rock solid Shame.

Elsewhere Elis settles into married life by talking about Patreon to a Frenchman, John is desperate to know from Phil Wang how to get a Netflix Special and a Made Up Game to really grab your attention. There’s just *a lot* going on.

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#364 - Like It Or Lump It, Moon Faced Boys and Greg James’ Dark Underbelly

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 16:11:00 GMT

A union that we’ve waited 15 years for between a pair significantly involved in the UK’s cultural scene. Some of the most significant personal news to hit this show in a long long time which requires examining on many fronts. No not Elis’s wedding but the Oasis reunion. For Producer Dave might spontaneously combust. He might break down due to not being on the presale and there are distinct concerns for his use of substances in July 2025.

Elsewhere Elis has got married. That's also in here.

Also expect some significant accusations from the most trend setting radio show in the land.

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#363 - Accepting Sap, Backing Bellingham and This is How You Use Noel

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 15:00:00 GMT

With post-wedding factors still in play, it’s another trip down the pre-recorded well today. But don’t for one second think that means a drop in quality, for with this very podcast episode comes high quality chat about dog/fox mess, a scorching anecdote about Elis having his car cleaned, and a meaty Made Up Game from the vaults to boot.

With the Oasis reunion news rocking producer Dave to his very core, there’s also a very fortuitous and timely chat about the merits of Noel Gallagher’s cooking skills. It’s almost as if Noel and Liam were waiting for this episode to drop. It makes you wonder…

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#362 - Three Crazy Guys Hanging Out, DCI Spike Spike McSpike and Michelangelo’s Mike

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 09:33:00 GMT

You might have been expecting to come across the full lowdown of what is being described by Hello and OK! as the wedding of the summer. But no, for with weddings come honeymoons, so it’s a break glass for emergency episode situation. Thus, if it seems weird that there’s no mention of the happy couple or John’s best man activities then there’s your reasoning.

So it’s three crazy guy joined by Annie McGrath to tackle a Chinese conundrum. Plus they dig into some of your questions and chat the hottest bods in the comedy game.

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#361 - 55 Year Olds in The Narberth Area, Dell Tower and The Past, Present & Future of Rush Radio

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 15:09:00 GMT

Well, Fine and Unwell: the three states. Constantly switching across protagonists with one having to pick up the slack. But who will it be this week? An Elis at peak stress levels, a Dave on one hour sleep, or a still zen Robins?

There’s a lot of chaos to absorb on the show today as Dave tries his best to wrangle four professional talkers. Never has a bleary eyed father of three had his patience tested so much. The combination of Elis and John x Clara and Jordan from BBC Sounds’ ‘Make Me A Mixtape’ could be his undoing.

Elsewhere there are a couple of the most bonkers coach journeys hitherto known to man - which justifies this very long thread’s continued current inclusion. Plus, has Elis finally met his Cymraes match?

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#360 - Yesby, Classic Gag Churners, and The Big Storm Before the Bigger Storm

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 17:22:00 GMT

Twas the night before Elis’s wedding, and though we can’t offer you non-stirring mice, we can guarantee you something even better, and even rarer: Elis at the end of his tether. He has 3 big problems for enlightened John to solve, and the balm of reading stories about the maddest of dads offers some much needed salve.

John frets about the legacy of Ivo Graham’s past wedding speech triumphs, and Dave’s in a tizz of his own after returning from a nightmare journey back from his beloved Algarve.

It’s an episode beset by worries but packed with the usual laughs, and ends with Elis picturing his dream wedding where no one has turned up and he’s sat there eating piles of salmon...

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#359 - Puppet Paul, Mindful Diarrhoea and Doing the M6 for Comic Relief

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 15:00:00 GMT

The Elis and John realm remains a very zen place to be. So grab your headphones, get into a comfortable position, and let the BBC’s youngest and most chilled out broadcasters relax your busy mind.

And what could be more relaxing than a chat about arctic rolls? What could induce a sense of calm more than picturing Elis James in a 14th century jester’s outfit? Can you achieve nirvana by talking about the first Ronseal bride? You’ll have to listen to find out.

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#358 - Jimmy Grief

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 15:27:00 GMT

John’s been on a silent retreat. Today he breaks his silence with a man, who unlike him, ultimately revels in conversation. One who would discuss the career stats of Leon Britton until the heat death of the universe.

It’s a big one on one between two intellectual heavyweights. Think BBC Four or late night TV of the past whereby two great minds would just melt out reflections to biggen your brain by osmosis. Or alternatively it’s just a big old chat about guff management. A changed man and Elis just shooting the (psychological) breeze.

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#357 - A Podium Place for Thought, Désolé the Devolved Discuss and A Big Baguette that’s Uniting the World

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 14:45:00 GMT

Elis and John have been overcome by two forces this week: Olympic fever, and the stark realisation that their bits are old. The former makes for a Made Up Game for the ages, whilst the latter leads to a pensive mood in the studio.

Sporting antics and todger worrying aside, John thinks he might have become one of the great parents, Elis reads a world-beating mad dad story, and there's a controversial sitting of the Petty Parliament.

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#356 - Look Into It Dave, Curtis Coitus and HS Number 2

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 12:42:00 GMT

36 hours. That is the approximate time it takes to travel to from Melton Mowbray to Gibraltar via coach. It is also the approximate time now dedicated to emails on how long coach journeys can be. But Elis and John are endlessly fascinated by your horrible horrible travels.

But amidst such mega[bus] chat there’s moments that are actually quite #moving. Because you know we can deal with emotional heft and also acknowledge that John can bring the mood down on a cancer ward.

Elsewhere there’s a fantastic surprise in the spin the wheel nature that is 80 Daves and the prospect of Robins as Samuel Pepys sends a chill down the spine.

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#355 - Fillet, Sirloin and Rump

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 14:55:00 GMT

The Great Organiser is Robins. And his latest trick was to organise the ultimate stag for a Welshman in his forties. Design touches, #thoughtfulness and the opportunity to simply talk to people for a few hours amount to a roaring success all round and provides a prime example of why John’s so stressed all the time. It’s because he tries.

In other non-stag quarters there’s a meaty old global David and the official referees’ board enters the fray around Elis’s Welsh connecting. In a rare occasion it’s a Made Up Game-less show today simply because there’s anecdotes aplenty.

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#354 - A 5 Minute Curry, 10,000 Johnsons and A ULEZ Compliant Wedding

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 16:40:00 GMT

Are weddings run on facts? Do they need to be ULEZ compliant? Is it a laugh when people respond to questions about dietary requirements with humorous whimsy? These are the questions that are keeping Elis James up at night as the big day approaches.

Aside from the stresses and strains of organising a wedding, there’s a debate about whether reading out someone else’s tweets makes for good content - followed by 15 minutes of said content. We take a school trip to the abattoir, we spend an unfathomable amount of time on a coach, and Russell Howard drops by to answer a listener’s dilemma.

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#353 - Symphonic Bowels, Dry Cardboard Chips and A Better Listener than Henry VIII

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 15:00:00 GMT

When Elis James meets his idols there’s usually only one outcome: he gets it wrong. But a chance meeting with Britpop royalty this week has given Elis the chance to set this trend right. Will he crumble? Will his symphonic bowels play ball? Will he push his glasses too far up his nose again? All is revealed within.

Elsewhere, the previous torch carriers for email have done a volte face and turned on the once glorious medium, the boys decide which of them would be the better friend to various mums, and Elis tries to find a connection to a random Welsh person.

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#352 - Marl, A Digital Bum Examination and Taking 2 Weeks Off Jalapeños

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 17:00:00 GMT

John’s world has been rocked from beneath him. Our hero's fears have piled up, and a trip to the medical room - hopefully containing one of London’s timidest doctors - is needed. Join us for a deep dive into the underworld.

In lighter news, dads are still up to their mad tricks, a childhood liar descends into the sewers, and John ponders how many children the podcast has sired.

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#351 - Six Figure Per Month Thickos, The Cymru Connection and Let Him Do His Cow

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 15:00:00 GMT

In today’s show ********************** ************** *************** ************ **************.

The previous paragraph was censored by Producer Dave for being too balanced.

In uncensored information Elis James' Welsh knowledge is put to the test, unique vocal chops are showcased, and there’s a corker of a Shame.

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#350 - Smoked Milk, Wimbers and Let It Beeb Sounds

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 17:30:00 GMT

“Surprise surprise”, not the words of the late Cilla Black, but those of Mr Dave Masterman, as the show takes a couple of gastronomic and lyrical turns today, in an effort to a) make a crucial judgement, and b) galvanise one of the four nations of our United Kingdom.

From Cilla to one of her bezzie mates, there’s some incredibly innovative advertising involving Paul McCartney. Elis is deep in a world solely consisting of Andy Murray and wedding and John has seen something that will make his best groom feel unwell.

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#349 - Emergency Intro, The Nanny Estate and The Third Keir

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 16:20:00 GMT

Remember the Cheeky Girls of noughties Lembit Opik fame? Well today it’s the Cheeky Boys. And former Lib Dem MP Opik is the only reference to politics you’re getting due to Elis’s unsanctioned cheekiness which manifests itself as being *too* balanced.

Elsewhere if you had 1,000 guesses as to what TV show John’s been watching this week, you still wouldn’t get it, and Producer Dave files through a formerly unknown Made Up Games repository.

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#348 - Jazz Flats, Guff Soup and You Can’t Row With Your Mind

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 17:06:00 GMT

A schism has come between Elis and John that may signal the end of Britain’s youngest broadcasters’ undisputed reign of the podcast-first platform. It all boils down to one question: are emails about the prices of things in the past interesting or boring? It’s time to pick a side.

Once a side in this polarising debate has been picked, you are free to enjoy a conversation about French onion soup, a chat about Rob Auton’s lovely new fleece, and a listener calling into question Elis’s claim about never getting DOMS.

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#347 - The Great Absolver, Winton’s Well and A Google Docs Kinda Guy

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 14:55:00 GMT

On the horizon approaching the dusty Elis and John town in the podcast wild west is an indiscernible speck. Over time it goes from a dot, to a blob, to a horse, to a horse with man. And the man is not just a man but a messenger. And that steed is here to drop off huge news.

As we bask and delve into such massive-massive-it-is news, there’s also bard brilliance, a bleeding corker of a Made Up Game daubed all over the walls and we get a first hand account of encountering one of the greatest Daves of any gen - [do the voice] Mr David Bowie.

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#346 - £1 Nights Out, Vaping More Than Breathing and Walking Dion Broken Glass

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 17:20:00 GMT

What do you get when you cross a mad dad with a donkey? It’s the question we’ve all been asking, and on today’s podcast we finally get the answer: one of the great mad dad stories of all time, a stone-cold hall of famer.

Walking over broken glass at Wembley Stadium for Adrian Chiles (and Dion Dublin) is also covered, as is heating up a fajita on a shin, and Chloe Petts is on hand to dole out some questionable advice.

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#345 - Burdening Burden, The Ultimate Head and A Dizzy at Tebay

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 15:00:00 GMT

Move over Geraint Thomas, there are some new Welsh thighs on the cycling scene. Elis’s heroic cycle ride to Brighton is picked over and analysed, as is his newfound insatiable appetite, and his muscle-related chat that bores a fellow 5 Live presenter.

In a surprising turn of events we also get one step closer to identifying the graffiti artist Banksy, we hear from a listener who has the ‘ultimate head’, and the Petty Parliament moves ever closer to the autocracy we all feared it could become.

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#344 - Generation Bodge Job, The Thinking Drinker’s Degree, and A Wazzaaa of Crosbys

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 17:28:00 GMT

If podcasts were countries, and episodes were drivers, then this iteration of Elis and John would be covering a hell of a lot of ground. One minute it’s loco coco dads, the next it’s a deep dive into the Gibraltar national football team. And between them you’ve got shy builders, biro yachts, and a cappella jingles.

Solving your dilemmas has become one of our main priorities, and this week is no different. Matthew Crosby is on hand to help a band member in need, where for some reason the question ‘do you want to be a slimy juggler’ is part of the solution.

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#343 - Baff, Mooch Ma Mooch and Higs Higs Higs Higs Higs

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 14:55:00 GMT

Elis is hoisted by his own genetic petard today. For he and Isy have combined to create the perfect journalistic lampooner. And he has nowhere to hide.

Amidst such blindsiding, the idea of John at a music festival paints a vivid picture and we hear of 2kg of coffee bean consumption to prove a point.

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#342 - Great Articles Going Unwritten, The Scottish Experience and Good & Long

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 16:31:00 GMT

The Euros are kicking off but Elis is sad. Because due to penalties, rather than being on the lash with the lads and girls of Swansea, Rhyl and Pontypridd, he’s in a studio in London. But that’s not to say he can’t have a ruddy good time with his less Welsh pals.

And they get down to some right old fun. Producer Dave doesn’t have faith in a temporary sporting feature resurrection due to ‘topicality in a pre-recorded landscape’ and one third of the greatest beans on Earth (excluding Sean Bean) joins to solve a dilemma.

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#341 - Calippolitical, Italia ’90 Games and Eating Bao Buns in Complete Silence

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 14:55:00 GMT

We’re heading towards quite frankly Australian levels of being rattled on today’s Made Up Game as another game format comes under the microscope of two players who simply want to be given the win.

Elis is also distracted by the past - shock - and Producer Dave actually wants the boys to get *more* political?! A bold move given the ‘Secretary of State for Getting Ready For The Weekend’s’ role as de-politiciser in chief.

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#340 - Bog Body Ready, Long Haul Phaal and Nish Kumar

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 16:30:00 GMT

Today’s show is a titanic showdown between two arch-nemeses. It’s Disraeli against Gladstone, it’s David versus Goliath, it’s The Rumble in the Jungle; it’s Elis James facing up to his footballing rival Nish Kumar. Sparks fly, scores are settled, and a listener’s dilemma is answered (sort of) in the process.

It’s also an episode that seeks to teach as well as entertain. And if learning that we should be writing big messages on big melons isn’t enough education for you, we’re not sure what is. Plus, Britain’s youngest broadcasters lament the clothing choices of their fellow young people.

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#339 - Crisp 147s, The Dave Farce and Miss Havisham's Warzone

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 14:55:00 GMT

If you've ever seen the film Stepbrothers then the behaviour exhibited by man-children Ferrell and C. Reilly isn't so far removed from today's Made Up Game. A very simple premise is put through the wringer, testing Producer Dave to his limits.

There's also accusations of inter-show ideas transfer, a goat chop half marathon and Elis is slap bang in his wheelhouse for these week's global Dave.

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#338 - Task Masters, Blue Moon Peter and Beginner’s Luck: The Adrian Chiles Story

Fri, 31 May 2024 17:30:00 GMT

One of the great comedy gameshow performers is in the house as Taskmaster concludes. Whether that’s Robins, or one of his other competitors who came out on top, we’re not willing to spoil via an episode description.

Dig deep and you’ll also hear some fascinating stats that really illuminate the psyche of Robins, what not to say to a horse person, and there’s an extraordinary exclusive about the Blue Peter garden.

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#337 - Project Balance, The State of Pitta Breads and Non-Sexual Condensation Writing

Tue, 28 May 2024 14:55:00 GMT

Elis and John embark on their 1,000 hours of political podcasting over the next 5 weeks, much to Producer Dave’s dismay. Which is quite an incredible aim given the short timescales at play here.

But today’s show is of the unclothed variety as the boys chat being naked whilst John’s seen a film with more willies than the average cinema fare. Plus there are some bold assertions thrown around in the current operating house of this nation, the Petty Parliament.

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#336 - Tuffers’ Glow, Buffet Behaviour and Babes In The Mauve Interior

Fri, 24 May 2024 17:42:00 GMT

Dave’s back not with a vengeance, but for an absolute bumper buffet of an episode. For there’s not one, but TWO new features. Oh we do spoil you, but that's all we're telling you. A little tease. But no more.

And by our reckoning this edition features the most car brands crowbarred in out of any episode we’ve ever done, which is quite some achievement.

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#335 - Cursed FC, The Peter Clause and The Tide On Your Nethers

Tue, 21 May 2024 14:55:00 GMT

Well, well, well. Every so often the old gal which is Made Up Games throws a grenade into the mix. And does it lead to drama? You bet ya it does as sparks fly.

We’re still operating in a Daveless Zone as he launches his online whiskey company / goes walking in the Lake District - delete as to what’s believable. With the Masterman away there's a googly received at the 80 Daves crease and elsewhere Elis is humiliated on the football field.

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#334 - Fish Finger Frenzy, Piña Colada Eggs and a Daveless Space

Fri, 17 May 2024 17:12:00 GMT

It’s a podcast-first first as Elis and John enter the unknown: Cheadle Hulme’s most handsome producer is absent, leaving the unproduceables unproduced. It’s Elis and John unleashed. But digital Dave is on hand to provide some podcasting tips, should the boys completely forget how to broadcast.

Fish fingers are another main course, as a listener answers the age old question of how many of the breaded delights can be eaten in one sitting. Dads are of course up to their mad tricks, and a comedian friend drops by to answer a listener's dilemma.

Also you can watch ‘So Many Reasons’, the Taylor Swift John Robins breakup song by Charlene Kaye, in full right here: www.bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn or on the BBC Sounds YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@BBCSounds

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#333 - Fine For Bride, So Many Reasons and If You Come For The Queen You Best Not Miss

Tue, 14 May 2024 14:55:00 GMT

A huge moment for both Swifties and Red Breasts alike, for today’s the day we hear the hit new single about “What if Taylor Swift broke up with a Bristolian comic who specialises in emotional heft.”

The crowds are in and the red carpet is out, as despite Elis and John seemingly confusing a first play with a film premiere, this is an occasion. Elsewhere a listener sends in another wonderful Made Up Games jingle BUT it must pass the discerning ear of Johnny JR.

If you want to check out our songwriter, and her shows / work, it’s the very funny and talented Charlene Kaye. Just give her a Google.

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#332 - Mr Audio, Love's Best Lubricant and The Man Who Can Eat Three Curries

Fri, 10 May 2024 17:00:00 GMT

All sorts of achievements flying around on the show. Some aural and others gastronomic as the boys reflect on a great night at the big radio awards as well as John's food consumption.

We check in on how the Swift x Robins masterpiece is coming together and also answer the question, "Should you clap 180 nominees?" A Q that all of the high fliers in various industries will be asking.

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#331 - Five Star Bums, Tax Over Taylor and Too Punctual For Love

Tue, 07 May 2024 14:55:00 GMT

‘Smorgasbord’ is a word frequently deployed to describe the Elis and John podcast. A buffet-style meal of Swedish origin which is typically celebratory with guests also to help themselves from a range of dishes laid out for their choice.

And though there’s not a Swede in sight, there is a veritable buffet of delectable content on today’s show to pick through on the table.

A chilled open sandwich of teenage Shame here, an anecdote delicacy to cut through the weight there. Pass the hors d’oeuvres bums across the table and a helping of inventive songwriting suggestions to top that.

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#330 - Sleepy Elis, A Corporate Shill for Big Thick and David Gandy

Fri, 03 May 2024 17:52:00 GMT

Knees are shaking and pulses are racing as none other than international superstar model David Gandy stops by for a chat to answer all of Elis and John’s questions about modelling. Confronted with such handsomeness, how does everyone cope? Well, Elis ‘feels things’, John swears, and Dave’s glasses steam up.

An unwell and remote John goes fully digital, a listener wins a marathon, and Elis’s commentating skills shine once again.

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#329 - Sacked for Sadness, Hated for Content, and A Steady Hand on the Tiller of Love

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 14:55:00 GMT

The boys are beset by worries this week: John is in a tizz over whether his faulty car will be covered its warranty, and Elis is suspicious that the neighbours are talking about him and his newly-scratched car behind his back. Thankfully these worries are soothed by scorching anecdotes about trying to smoke a cigar, and getting sacked from a mid-afternoon quiz show for looking too sad.

Producer Dave’s willpower meets its match in a packet of chocolate biscuits, English accents are hidden from Scottish schoolchildren, and another Dave extols the virtues of living abroad.

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#328 - The Golden Age of Whaling, Five Whimsical Bananas, and A Robin and A Swift

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 17:08:00 GMT

Today’s episode tackles the Big Questions, but only if by Big Questions you mean specifically: what spotted insect is causing John to yelp in bed? Would Elis or John have thrived on a 19th century whaling vessel? And how would John’s life change if he started going out with one of the most famous women in the world?

As usual, motorways feature, Elis gets lampooned for missing out on seeing one of John’s musical heroes live, and we all learn a valuable lesson: when a podcast matters, John matters.

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#327 - Tim’s Rumpus Room, Pork Chop Calves and Buckinghamshire Living

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 14:55:00 GMT

If you thought this show was your safe space away from pop behemoth Taylor Swift’s single handed takeover of popular culture then sadly you’d be wrong. For it’s Swiftmas Day (well if you view this in a linear fashion rather than circular) and John’s neck deep in it.

Also the reverberations of Elis stepping on John’s turf continue to ripple through gains space and time, whilst the question of pâté comes under the spotlight.

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#326 - Chiles Parsnips, Elis St. John, and Superfruit Cigs

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 16:35:00 GMT

What do the blue touch paper and the switchboards have in common? They’ve both been lit, that’s what. Elis and John have been inundated with some of our greatest set of emails EVER! And in that the models flow in like it's fashion week; from snacks to footwear, from 1940s yearning women to teenage graffitiing delinquents. This episode has them all.

Elsewhere, things get racy, Elis’s newfound gym buff status comes under heavy fire, and John is rocked to his very core by some news at Junction 16 on the M4.

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#325 - Taut John, Cake In Your Wallet and Joanne McNally

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 14:50:00 GMT

Once the Welsh football media spring dries up Elis needs a retirement plan. Thanks to his dashing good looks there is only one viable alternative: international modelling. The boys thus get the lowdown on all things posing from the most handsome man they've ever chatted to.

We also play a Made Up Game where Elis is restricted to levels previously unexperienced and we've got two of the masters of tasks in the studio today.

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#324 - Blancmange Bullying, The Custard Slice Scene, and Run to Win and Hate Yourself

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 17:35:00 GMT

If this show doesn’t become the go-to running podcast of 2024, we’re not sure what will. For all the on-foot 'experts' pumping out mid-level content NONE of them will cover big bones, being overtaken by your mum or exercising your big toes.

But fear not, it’s not all the 'Pounding the P-odcast'. Elis takes to the metaphorical Mastermind chair in a grilling that he was born to do and the boys finally speak to a mythical figure.

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#323 - Fleet McWrap, Handsome Turf and George Kink Lads Only

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 15:00:00 GMT

Tuesdays used to mean the odd Champions League fixture and Holby City. Now they mean podcasts. More specifically this one, and on today's show a giddiness has descended on the studio. The boys are dreaming of things they could do and places they could go for the show: Barbados, a trip to Europe's largest folk museum, or "wearing unitards and beating each other up" are all equally exciting and viable options.

Elsewhere there's a sexy Shame and we may even get a sequel to "It Floats Ladies".

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#322 - Specs Appeal, Virgil van Dave, and Toilets At Dench

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 16:02:00 GMT

A new John Robins has emerged. Move over Brains and Colin Firth in 'A Single Man' for there's a new doyenne of eyewear fashion. And with such style and grace he's also become a fount of knowledge on how best to wear one's specs. And Robins isn't the only podcast host dipping his toes into the haute couture world, as Elis is spotted modelling in the city of lights, Paris.

The boys muse on names that could work as service stations, and there’s a humdinger of a listener anecdote from one of the North West's premier late-2000s leisure centres.

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#321 - Psychic Cats, Second Rate Roses and Out of Riff Ammo

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 15:00:00 GMT

The lovely Lou Sanders is in the studio and brings along her wonderfully chaotic aura.

Oh and it's dead bus-eh. There's another hands on Made Up Game, Lou's not getting any traction on her socials and a caller deals out not just one but TWO harrowing stories.

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#320 - The Testosterone Twins, Three Shirt Robins and Restless Irritable Discontented

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 18:15:00 GMT

It’s a two hander today as John and Dave fly solo. But that isn’t to say that we’re not bursting at the seams with top stuff.

There’s more cloud developments, John reflects on sobriety nearly a year on from his How Do You Cope chat with Elis, and the brief to wish 5 Live a Happy Birthday is broadly fulfilled.

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#319 - Baddies on the Beach, 5 Live At 30 and Thank God for Zabaleta

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 16:00:00 GMT

5 Live is 30 Years Old. A milestone indeed but it makes the station even more criminally young than our presenters. So Elis and John celebrate by looking back at the history of the UK's favourite (and potentially only) dedicated news and sport station.

We also chat to an adamantly Dave-shunning David, and John, much to everyone's shock, pokes holes in a Made Up Game... which was created by an 11-year-old.

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#318 - Chieveley James, Project Digital Life and The More The Murrayer

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 17:40:00 GMT

John Robins is an analogue guy. There's no one on earth whose life is more dictated by paper than he. So today John digs into his worst nightmare: 'the cloud'.

The boys also hear from a listener who had a podcast-adjacent brush with death and there's more sausage while you wait chat.

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#317 - Tasting Collapse, Ken Coe and James Hoffmann

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Never has the mood at Elis and John HQ been more nervous or excitable. For it is a momentous day. The Hoff himself, coffee expert and YouTuber James Hoffman, is on the show. And the boys have as many questions as there are beans in the world.

And more importantly we'll find out, under Espresso making levels of pressure, who definitively makes the best coffee as judged by the coffee king him sen.

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#316 - Terrace Fashion Week, Too Much Pastry and Stopping At Heston

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:20:00 GMT

Have you ever wondered how our hosts would fare as children’s podcast presenters? Well thanks to today’s fun and games, now we know! And it’s as fascinating as you’d imagine.

Elsewhere, Producer Dave tries to single-handedly bring down the state secondary school education system, and in what is surely a digital first, the team discuss which celebrities look the cleanest.

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#315 - The Tap Scene, Spanish Deception and Cheaper Derby

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 16:00:00 GMT

We’re a month into the Great Reset and Elis and John are so into the swing of things that they’re practically Tarzan and Jane swinging through the Digital Jungle. John is Tarzan due to his ripped physique and long arms suitable for vine grabbing. Elis is Jane due to his dainty disposition and ability to flutter his eyelashes.

And the boys’ suitably good form provides a backdrop to a (quite literally) dream game, a wild inductee to the 80 Daves pantheon and the thoughts of being lowered six feet under to daytime TV themes.

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#314 - King Kia, Three Course Curry and Cow Pat PR

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 17:31:00 GMT

Today Elis and John are at one with nature. (No, not in a sexy way Producer Dave). They're surviving not only the rigours of a podcast-first approach but today are prepared for much more. The smoke signals are going up. The salmon ponassed. All are braced in the bivouac for a very special surprise.

Once we've left the wilderness behind, Elis gets a right rollocking over his distaste of a high camp staple, we get an incredible insight into the diet of a mid-tier Crossfitter and we bid adieu to a key crew member of the good ship Elis and John.

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#313 - Weaving Willow, Vague Cawl and Soft Play VAR

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins are two of the UK's youngest and most talented broadcasters, and over the years they've had many of their skills put to the test, including and not limited to: what to do in the event of breaking news, how to react if a fellow presenter drops an accidental double entendre on-air, and who to turn to if you read out a comical fake name for the whole country to hear. But there's one vitally important skill that has yet to be tested... That is, until this very podcast. What you are about to hear is Elis and John being pushed to the limits in one of the most difficult tasks known to man, and it formed the basis of a Made Up Game. Make sure to fasten you audio seatbelts!

Elsewhere, the guys moan about coats that don't have hanging loops, John shares an anecdote about saving an item from recycling, Elis talks about what it's like to not be recognised on the red carpet, and a listener sends in one of the greatest jingles of all time.

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#312 - Swansea Spielberg, Mooning Armada and a Stain on Global Culture

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 17:07:00 GMT

According to the Full Moon Calendar, we're still three weeks away from the next biggest moony of them all: the moon. However, that didn't stop Elis and John from getting teary eyed at the glories of mooning past and the relative dearth of mooning present. It was an intensely valuable chat charting modern British social history, and one you certainly won't want to miss.

Elsewhere, the boys also hear of Winkler on the Otley Run, there's some belting new listener jingles and the idea of 'Elis and John: The Musical' is floated.

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#311 - Bonce Funk, Improving Esperanto and The Audio Foyer

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 16:00:00 GMT

There's an old saying in the English language: 'A watched pot never boils'. But thankfully, the same doesn't apply to other forms of technology, because a watched smart speaker DOES boil out content, to the tune of twice-weekly podcasts featuring the two of the UK's finest broadcasters, Elis James and John Robins. So grab a seat, reach for your favourite mug, and prepare for it to be filled to the brim with boiling hot chat.

In this episode John crumbles during a Made Up Game, there's an all-time great Shame Well, Producer Dave shows off his TV presenting skills (think Kerry from Succession), and we hear your Celebrity Slams.

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#310 - Didgeridinners, Our Oprah and Telford Is A Tear Duct

Fri, 23 Feb 2024 17:35:00 GMT

An alien lands on Earth. As an audiophile, the first thing they do when they touch down is press play on the Elis and John podcast to get a taste of the planet's podcasting output. Instantly, they realise that Earth is the place to be, as their ear nubs are thrilled by pulse-setting topics such as Dronfield and the tip. They feel... home.

In other content the boys chat to an insider on the frontline of the Chesterfield Conundrum, John experiences a Damascene moment whilst watching telly and there's salivation at the prospect of Chiles on the decks.

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#309 - Condo Cheese, Stepdad Energy and Psychic Hangovers

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Still aching after their Digital Decade celebrations, Elis and John somehow managed to find the strength to dust themselves off and begin traipsing along the long road towards their 20 year broadcasting milestone. Who knows what lies ahead for them, but you can bet that there's going to be plenty of fun along the way (as well as the distinct possibility that Elis retires on a super yacht thanks to his multi-billion pound net worth).

In this week's episode there's a Made Up Game that takes the boys back to their school days, a listener all the way from AMERICA calls in, wheelie bins are debated in Petty Parliament, and once again there's a thorough discussion about things from the past. Enjoy!

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#308 - The Double Ds, O'Doherty Ditties and A Lesson In Jingles

Fri, 16 Feb 2024 19:43:00 GMT

As the sun sets on a digitised decade of content for Messrs James and Robins, it was only fitting to celebrate 10 years of broadcasting badinage with a little bit of retrospective reflection.

Amongst the fun, a very special surprise guest pops by, a whole host of friendly voices pop up to pass on their best wishes, plus the show’s decade-long theme of Shame is finally put to superb use in the classroom.

Thanks for listening. Here’s to 10 More Years!

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#307 - Pleasure Parity, Content Camaraderie and A Thumbless Month

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Tuesday: in the past it was often looked at as one of the less-favourable days of the week. The weekend feels miles away, you're still not even half way through the working week... not ideal. However, since Elis James and John Robins started releasing two episodes a week Tuesdays have gone through something of a rebrand. Tuesdays are now COOL! They're a day to look forward to. If anything, you could say that Tuesday is the new Friday (in that it's a day when a new episode of the podcast is released). Basically, what we're trying to say is that Tuesdays are great because you get to enjoy another dose of Elis, John and Producer Dave.

In this episode we hear one of the all-time great Shame Well stories that's been added into the hall of fame, John shares an injury he picked up whilst racing against someone in fancy dress, Elis imagines what it would be like to score a goal for Swansea City, and everyone gets a bit jealous of this week's guest in "Around The World in 80 Daves".

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#306 - The Banter Box, Six Feet From Stardom and Where's Lincoln?

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 18:12:00 GMT

The content machine is now well and truly oiled up and ploughing ahead at lightning speed, as Elis James and John Robins release their SECOND podcast of the week! If the prospect of two podcasts a week is daunting to you fear not: the beauty of podcasts means you're able to listen whenever you like; be that on a train, in a car, or in a sauna with a bunch of your best pals. "Someone pass me a cold towel, this banter is steaming hot!" one might shout (in a sauna, not on a train).

In what some are called a more "relaxed" episode, this time round the guys discussed more things that you think are "cool", a listener from Switzerland gets in touch, and the question is raised about whether Chesterfield is in the north or south of the UK.

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#305 - Anxious Orange, Alpha Max Force and A Tartt Tip-Off

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Tuesday 6th February 2024: a day that will go down in history as the day that broadcasting changed forever. Was it because we saw the launch of a brand new digital radio station that solely broadcasts the sound of the M6 motorway? Not yet; but give it time. No, the date in question is so significant because it saw the UK’s youngest radio presenters being transformed into the UK’s youngest podcasters. That’s right: the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is finally here; and it's double the content, double the satisfaction (if focus groups are to be believed).

To kick off the new-look show the guys launch two BRAND NEW features, Elis shares an anecdote about ravers from Suffolk, a very special guest drops by, and Producer Dave treats us all to a celebratory poem. Boy it’s good to be back.

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The Great Reset: 'Broadcasting Britain Back Better'

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 16:00:00 GMT

The launch of the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is days away, and as the finishing touches are being added attention turns to how the boys can maximise audience growth.

Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

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The Great Reset: 'Igniting the Spark'

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Elis, John and Producer Dave are busy working on the relaunch of their brand new podcast, but with the launch date fast approaching they've decided to turn to one of the most celebrated creatives of their generation for advice.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

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The Great Reset: 'A Digital Empire'

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 16:00:00 GMT

Preparations for the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast are well under way, and the guys are now turning their attention to one of the most important aspects of the show: #content.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

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The Great Reset: 'Let's Kick This Show Off the Road'

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 16:00:00 GMT

With the launch of their brand new podcast fast approaching, Elis, John and Producer Dave have decided to meet up at the BBC to begin planning. There's plenty to discuss, but things are already off to a shaky start.

You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.

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#304 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2023

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 14:00:00 GMT

Bob Marley once sang "In this bright future you can't forget your past", and it's those very words that have once again inspired Elis James and John Robins to look back at another 12 months of world class #content. Whether it be sexy tax calendars, riffs about the weather, or discussing Producer Dave's vasectomy, there's been something for everyone this year, and this is your chance to join us for our end of year celebration.

2024 might see the guys waving goodbye to their live radio show, but it's good news for you the listener, as you'll soon be getting DOUBLE Elis and John.

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#303 - Robbyns Resolutions, Secret Scents and Chaff Tuesday

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 18:03:00 GMT

Christmas is just around the corner, and whilst many people up and down the country are winding down for the festive period here on the Elis James and John Robins show we’re turbocharging our ideas machine as we continue our march towards the ultimate destination: BBC Sounds. Does what you’ve just read make sense? Not necessarily, but all you need to understand is that after a short break in January Elis and John will be back bigger and better than ever. Before then, however, we just have the small task of getting YOU ready for a fully festive weekend (it’s the Producer Dave dream).

This week’s show was nothing short of extraordinary. Not only did we hear the last ever episode of DI Robbyns, we also had a live performance of the greatest theme tune of all time, a rundown of all the stats behind the Made Up Games played since May 2019, and a DJ LEGEND joined us for a Petty Parliament.

Have a wonderful Christmas, and we’ll see you very soon.

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#302 - Sounds & Sons, David D. Craddock and Two Sides of the Groin

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 17:28:00 GMT

Elis, John and Producer Dave embodied the very definition of 'the voice of the UK' for today's show, as they once again broadcast from locations that were literally hundreds of miles apart. How was that possible? Well, thanks to a little piece of magic we in the biz like to call "technology". As always, the guys didn't let distance get in the way of a good time, and if anything being a safe distance from each other merely added to the giddiness; making Producer Dave turn grey on no less than five occasions.

John debates whether he should be tipping his refuse collectors, Elis discusses his undercarriage cleaning technique, Producer Dave attempts to explain exactly what's happening to the show in 2024, and a surprise phone call casts the future of one of our favourite features into doubt.

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#301 - Going Grain, Hannon Handshakes and Peak Bleak

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 17:15:00 GMT

With the end of the year fast approaching the hot topic on everyone's lips is forgiveness. Whether it be the person that accidentally spilled a can of lager all over your laptop, or the football player that scored the goal that relegated your favourite team, it's time for those feelings of negativity from the past year to be let go. However, some beefs stretch back further than 12 months... some even more than 12 years. Yes, on this week's show John Robins sought to end a two decade-long beef that he's had against one-time Queen-disliker Neil Hannon, lead singer of The Divine Comedy. Would Elis and Producer Dave be able to keep the studio calm enough for a civil discussion to take place? Well, why not jump into today's podcast to find out.

As well as all the usual fun, Tony Livesey revealed a missed career opportunity, there's a Made Up Game that the guys performed surprisingly well in, John told us about his fun New Years Eve plans and Elis decided to share his much-anticipated review of John's recent stand up show.

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#300 - Digital Decades, Comedic Offbeatsman and Basic Podcast Strategy

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 17:07:00 GMT

Back in May 2019 who would have thought that Elis James and John Robins, battered and bruised by a barrage of texts and tweets bemoaning their recent appointment at 5 Live, would eventually go on to reach episode 300 of their show, all whilst capturing the hearts and minds of radio listeners up and down the country? The correct answer is that nobody thought it would have been possible, and if you’d have seen the text console on that day you’d be forgiven for thinking they wouldn’t last three shows, let alone 300. Yet here they stand today, hand in hand, triumphantly towering over the UK radio landscape they have so valiantly conquered and made their own. BBC Radio Elis and John? Yeah, that’s probably not too far off either.

As today was such a big occasion, we thought it only right to celebrate appropriately. John yawned on air three times, Elis complained about having a headache, Producer Dave shared a Made Up Game involving the weight of dishwasher tablets, and a huge announcement got potentially hampered due to some top quality riffing.

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#299 - Pylon Following, 50 Under 50 and Lou’s Big Birthday

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 16:33:00 GMT

Due to factors there was no live show today, but that doesn’t mean we were ever going to leave you high and dry without your weekly dose of content. No, we’ve proven time and time again that nothing can stop us from #creating #content, so strap yourself in for a fast and loose podcast-only version of the Elis James and John Robins show, with special guest presenter (and birthday girl) Lou Sanders!

It was an action packed outing today, with plenty of fun for everyone. There’s another edition of John’s Motorway Musings, Lou shares a BRAND NEW jingle that she’s created, Producer Dave describes his favourite type of music and an age-old question about escalators is answered.

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#298 - Tahini Trouble, Jivo Graham and Ruddy Angry

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 17:06:00 GMT

John Robins - the most dedicated comedian in the UK - is continuing his mammoth UK tour, which means that he wasn’t able to make it into the studio for this week’s show. Thankfully for you the you the listener, that meant it was a rollover week. The top prize on offer? That’s right, Ivo Graham! So grab your tickets, check your numbers, and get ready to be made a #content millionaire.

It was a show jam packed with everything you’d ever want from two hours of broadcasting. There was a Made Up Game that tested the guys’ creativity (and Tony Livesey’s patience), Elis gave some potentially inaccurate advice about the process of ripening fruit, Ivo taught us about what’s coming up in the big-hitting locations of Coventry and Liverpool, and Producer Dave got his heart broken during a scripted intro.

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#297 - Sexy Snails, Retired Waistcoats and Ice Cream Calamity

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 18:27:00 GMT

Like the very concept of time itself John’s tour continues to march forward at pace, as he aims to visit every stand-up comedy venue in the country. That meant that Elis and Producer Dave were one man short in the studio, but thankfully the big wigs at 5 Live had a more than capable replacement waiting in the wings. Step forward everyone’s favourite son of Swindon... Ivo Graham!

Today’s show was packed to the rafters with classic content. Ivo debuted a brand new feature, we heard another edition of John’s Motorway Musings, Producer Dave - one again - was getting ready for the weekend, and Elis got confused by a Made Up Game that eventually went on to become an 8/10 classic. Enjoy!

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#296 - PDF Radio, Tourbasco and A Bag of Prawns

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 16:48:00 GMT

CAT FEVER struck the studio today; quite literally, as it turns out that Elis James is allergic to the two little kittens that he's welcomed into his life. John's envy was palpable, but does that mean he's going to be introducing some feline friends into his homestead? That's yet to be decided, but given how excited he was about Elis's cat news we wouldn't be surprised if two more cats joined Yaya, Kolo, Cleo and Uncle Todd in the 5 Live cat gang very soon.

Elsewhere on the show, John helps out some of our younger listeners in Ask John, Elis discusses entering the 44th year of his life, Producer Dave learns about a radio comedy-drama that's based on his life, and there's a Made Up Game that can only be described as "clunky yet fun".

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#295 - Badmin, Comedy Tapas and Making Uncertain Memories

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 16:07:00 GMT

It’s been some year for Elis James, and nobody deserves a break more than him (though John might argue the case against that claim). Yes, this week he decided to treat his family to a well-deserved getaway on the continent… the only problem being that he forgot to make anyone involved with the show aware of this until about five days ago. Thankfully, it takes a lot more than a presenter going AWOL to make us lose our heads, and within mere hours we had a special guest lined up capable of filling anyone's shoes. That’s right, joining us for the show this week was friend of the show and comedian extraordinaire Ania Magliano!

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#294 - Derbyshire Disrespect, Fruity Boy & Veg Head and Vibing On Ice

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 15:35:00 GMT

John - similar to a comedy version of The Rolling Stones - just doesn't want to stop touring, meaning that for the second week on the bounce he wasn't around for the show. So, with an empty seat next to Elis we needed someone who'd be able to carry the show with a sense of responsibility... a sense of hubris... dare we say a sense of fun? Well, obviously there was only one person for the job: your friend and mine, Lou Sanders! And like a defensive midfielder being brought onto the pitch during injury time she calmed everyone down, took control of the situation and saw out the game.

It was a very fun show today; Elis gives a BAFTA worthy performance in DI Robbyns, Lou shares some MASSIVE news (that's actually already out there), Producer Dave gets excited about a Ricky Hatton anecdote and a brand new produce-based radio duo is born!

And remember, listener: "Today's radio will eventually become a podcast at some point."

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#293 - The Darkness of Dave, Hoi Polloi and Jacqueline Wilson (A)

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 16:56:00 GMT

Listener: this is both an apology AND a warning. An apology for being naive enough to think that someone might like to share a harmless anecdote about directing footballing icon Pele to a toilet with the nation... and a warning to anyone who thinks that using a joke name is an easy and amusing way of throwing Elis James off his stride.

You just thank your lucky stars that radio hardman John Robins wasn't in the studio to deal with you, and instead the gentle giant Ivo Graham was playing the role of co-host. It's a good job he and Elis are fleet-footed broadcasters, because it would take more than a practical joke to make them flounder (perhaps something like asking them to do an Irish accent on the fly would do the trick).

Now that's out the way, today's show was a thoroughly enjoyable affair! Ivo used his huge brain to solve some listener problems in 'Ask Ivo', we heard some more listener renditions of the DI Robbyns theme tune, and dare we say we heard the most dramatic ending to a Made Up Game of all time. You won't want to miss it.

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#292 - Smelting Success, Powerful Honey and The Arena of Worry

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 15:00:00 GMT

Like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Roachford before him, John continues to live the touring life; aiming to perform stand up at every location in the UK with a population of over 3000. And whilst this ambitious task is cheered on by Elis and Producer Dave, it does make broadcasting live radio slightly more difficult, so once again this week's show is a special pre-recorded affair. Double the fun, triple the content, quadruple the time to edit!

The guys celebrate a recent award win, Elis talks about his tired eyes, John performs an uncanny Tim Buckley impression, and Producer Dave oversees one of the greatest Made Up Games of all time.

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#291 - Mancunian Positive John (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 13:00:00 GMT

Ryder Cup action is taking over BBC 5 Live, meaning there was no live show from Elis James and John Robins this week... But fear not, as we have a right treat in store for you.

You've heard 'Desert Islands Discs'... You've enjoyed the audio soundscape that is 'The Archers'... But in this special bonus podcast you're about to hear something that nobody has ever dared to attempt due to the sheer level of broadcasting prowess required to pull it off. That's right, prepare to experience one presenter doing an impression of all four members of The Beatles whilst another presenter hand grinds their own coffee beans. Enjoy!

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#290 - Giftshop Gripes, D-Reamits and We Go To Tunbridge Wells

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 13:00:00 GMT

With John embarking on a 200+ date world tour taking in Salford, Canterbury, Huddersfield, and then Salford again, the man whose modus operandi is emotionally hefty comedy requires a mental break every so often. However, not one to let the listener miss out on their weekly dose of #content he insisted on making Elis and Producer Dave join him to pre-record a show. If there's one thing he ain't, it's dedicated!

As well as all the usual fun, Elis gets vocal in his sleep and channels the 'Voice of the Balls', and John cuts through the noise on the failures of parenting.

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#289 - Primary Porkies, Theatre Thickos and Fun In The Fens

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 17:04:00 GMT

Look up the word 'content' in the Oxford English Dictionary and it reads "n. Elis James and John Robins' show on BBC Radio 5 Live, 2-4pm 15th September 2023". For what a busy week it's been for Messrs James and Robins!

Elis both continues his quest to become Carmarthenshire's most cultured man AND finds time to grace several Baltic states, whilst John has played Norwich's smallest venue not once but twice(!).

We are also graced with a truly classic(al) theme tune, a 24 karat gold stick it on the mantelpiece Shame Well and some city-sized news from Dave.

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#288 - Auction Action, DI Dre and Thought Knox

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 16:56:00 GMT

For the first time in what’s felt like years Elis, John and Producer Dave were finally reunited in Central London this week, and just like any other family reunion a wide range of emotions were experienced during the show: excitement (from John checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), frustration (from Producer Dave, because John kept checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), and love (from Elis, amazed at John’s dedication to checking in on the Freddie Mercury auction).

Away from all the Queen chat, Robbie Knox - the brand new landlord of The Moon Under Water - stopped by to say hello before submitting a law into the Petty Parliament, a DI Robbyns cover to rival Goldie Lookin' Chain was sent in by a listener, Producer Dave shared his drumming ambitions and the BBC canteen benefitted from a massive cake order (eventually).

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#287 - Memoirhahas, Cat Flap Chaos and Tessellation Turmoil

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 16:56:00 GMT

After a month long loan deal expired, Edinburgh returned John Robins. So Robins, free from the Scottish capital's creative buzz and extortionate rental prices returned to the studio... to broadcast to Britain and the world. But today he was not with his companion of norm.

With Elis away on a sojourn for Isy's birthday, Lou Sanders filled his boots to a supreme degree. The expert on self herself. And what a breath of fresh electric car air she brought. Meanwhile, John tabled some big stepdad energy, we interact with a spirited antipodean and, in a world first, Dave gets shouted down while reading the rules to a Made Up Game.

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#286 - Sesame Oil Surfeits, Nature's Printer and Seagull Supporters

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 16:56:00 GMT

It’s been some month for Johnny JR. Not only did he decide to take on the mammoth task of performing over 700 stand up shows across 31 days, he also remained dedicated to representing 5 Live right from the heart of the Edinburgh Fringe. But with the finish line in sight, and his spirit slowly dwindling, there was just enough time to squeeze in one final live broadcast: and what could make him feel better than having his housemate for the festival, Rob Auton, critique John on his living standards?!

As well as being joined by one of the finest comics out there, Elis shared his love of haggis, Producer Dave struggled to imitate his own voice numerous times, and there was a Made Up Game that went right down to the wire (featuring one of the biggest bottle-jobs of all time).

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#285 - Elis and John Live from Edinburgh

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 19:00:00 GMT

Elis and John venture to both the final boss and tutorial of the comedy world. That's right... Edinburgh! To mark the occasion a live audience descended on Scotland's premier planetarium / part-time comedy venue / largest interactive visitor attraction, and a show of Knebworth level proportions ensued.

For these versatile entertainers the smell of the crowd, the taste of the laughter, and the lack of a live live broadcast brought out 20% more playfulness than when shackled away in a studio; lucky for you listening on the podcast.

Comics Ania Magliano and David O'Doherty grace us with their wit, the team make real hard work of a Made Up Game and John redefines stand-up.

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#284 - Maximum Mystery, Trainecdotes and Internal Risk Assessments

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 16:32:00 GMT

With Elis taking a much deserved holiday, this week John found himself all alone in Edinburgh. But just as it looked like the faders were going to be opened without someone there to act as the ying to his yang, someone walked into the studio not just full of pep… but be-ploughmanned. Who would be so daring as to eat such a meal whilst broadcasting to the nation? Well, obviously there’s only one answer to that question: it was this week's guest co-presenter and all round legend Ivo Graham!

With John and Ivo presenting live and direct from the Scottish capital you just knew there was going to be a whole host of fun on today’s show. Janine Harouni joined the guys to chat about her Fringe experience so far and submit a law into Petty Parliament, Producer Dave tried to SILENCE the news, Ivo attempted to fill in for Elis on DI Robbyns and John realised that he might not love pickled eggs as much as he once thought.

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#283 - Minor Key Comedy, Same Old Larkin and Frank Skinner

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 16:50:00 GMT

The Edinburgh Fringe. The centre of the comedy universe. And the beaming hot star at the centre of said universe, of which every other planet orbits, is the gas giant that is John Robins. Although he’s performing two shows per day whilst up in Scotland he’s still committed to providing the nation with much needed radio. Elis and Producer Dave? Well, they’re holding the fort in London, thus showing that Radio 5 Live truly is the voice of the nation.

But it’s not just John who was in our studio north of the border. The legend that is Frank Skinner dropped by to talk about his new show, as well as enacting a law into Petty Parliament. Plus, there's a Made Up Game resembling a comedian’s fever dream, Tony Livesey reveals his bizarre showering routine, and the Brandy Lady makes another appearance.

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#282 - Oldroyd Sorbet, #Biceps and A Macchichatiato

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 15:59:00 GMT

As the old saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. But after taking a three week break from live radio in order to make way for 5 Live’s world beating sports coverage, Elis and John proved something else: “distance makes the arms grow beefier”. Yes, 21 days off the radio has given Johnny JR plenty of time to continue his journey to becoming the world's buffest man, and the guys returned to the studio ready to crush any topic put in front of them (though to be honest, given how pumped he looks John was definitely leading the charge).

There was a Made Up Game that focused on Elis’s often negative mentality to competition, John hounded his co-presenter about something he’d recently had bestowed upon him, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City takes a hit in Petty Parliament, and the single greatest piece of audio ever recorded wass sent into the show… You knows it.

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#281 - It’s A Blunderful Life (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 13:00:00 GMT

With #Sport once again keeping our hosts off the airwaves of 5 Live, we find Elis, John and Producer Dave in fine fettle as things remain ‘loosey goosey’ for one final week with this bonus podcast.

Elis blows our minds with a blunder revelation that leaves everyone reeling, John comes close to admitting there may be such a thing as too much golf, and Producer Dave enters a Peter Beagrie (Man City, 94-97) reverie whilst painting his garage.

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#280 - Suit, Shoes and Swimming Trunks (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 13:00:00 GMT

There's a real broadcasting buffet on offer today from Elis, John and Producer Dave, as they once again humbly stepped aside so the nation could continue to follow the historic Wimbledon tennis tournament uninterrupted; and given they were provided with the world's vaguest running order, who knew which direction the conversation was going to meander. Thankfully for you, listener, it wended its way right into your hearts and minds (and also your podcast feeds).

A listener sends in a banging remix of everyone's favourite theme tune, John loses his calm about the prospect of calming himself down, Elis shares his recent 'Double Blur' experience, and Producer Dave provides the guys with some more listener Qs that need an A.

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#279 - CCC: Customer Condiment Control (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 13:00:00 GMT

ELIS AND JOHN LIVE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE IS NOW FULLY BOOKED

BBC 5 Live is committed to providing every single type of content out there. Tennis? Check. Golf? You bet! Pétanque? Give it time. So when Elis and John were informed that they weren't going to be on air for a few weeks to make way for more classic world-beating sporting coverage it came as no surprise, and thankfully plans had already been put in place to make sure that you the you the listener weren't left short on your weekly quota of chat.

In this free-flow podcast the guys share an exciting announcement, there's more ploughman's correspondence, Dave hosts a listener-driven Q&A, and there's a discussion around the sports most suitable for radio.

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#278 - Stage Time Stresses, Dignity Biscuits and A Barrel of Eggs

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 17:38:00 GMT

Elis and John aren’t on air for a large portion of July, as 5 Live continues to fill its public service broadcasting remit by providing world-beating sports coverage. With their holidays just around the corner (don’t worry, there’ll still be weekly bonus podcasts for you all to enjoy) an air of giddy excitement descended on the studio, with Producer Dave pulling out all the stops to try and tame radio’s most unproducable duo.

There was a Made Up Game for the biscuit purists amongst you, a Petty Parliament suggestion that was met with unanimous agreement, there was ANOTHER twist in 'DI Robbyns', and the guys put poor Nick Wallis through his paces during his first ever appearance on the show (sorry Mrs Wallis).

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#277 - Glastonbury Gripes, Fiscal Vasectomies and Perfect Ploughmi

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 16:16:00 GMT

Recently, dreams turning into reality has become quite a regular occurrence on the show. First, John became the buffest broadcaster in Britain. Then, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City won the Champions League for the first time, completing a historic treble. But today, the biggest of dreams was realised… That’s right: everyone’s favourite support cigarette - Fagsy - was brought to life, and the feeling of love in the studio was palpable.

Elsewhere, there’s a Made Up Game all about Glastonburys gone by, a Petty Parliament caller dials in with a Glastonbury practice that he wants outlawed, Elis reminisces about a time he went to Glastonbury, and John has some rather interesting thoughts on the world-beating Glastonbury coverage being provided by the BBC across the Glastonbury festival.

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#276 - King Vinegar, Precinct Penchants and the Magic of Chiles

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 16:04:00 GMT

The ‘Hometown Triumvirate’ is a rare occurrence in the world of radio. A collector’s item, some might say. Well today, completists got their wish, with Carmarthen, Bristol and ‘the north’ being the respective locations of Elis, John and Producer Dave, as the BBC’s world-beating broadcasting infrastructure was pushed to its very limits, all in the name of cross country content.

Ethernets, modems, ISDN lines and the internet (general) all played their part as features old and new were rolled out. Episode 2 of new audio drama DI Robbyns once again left listeners on the edge of their seats, the lightboards switched up as our fleet-footed hosts juggled a plethora of text topics, plus the dulcet tones of Adrian Chiles made for an unforgettable Made Up Game.

Enjoy!

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#275 - Bumbag Bravado, Remunerationships and Adam From Bungay

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 17:51:00 GMT

New studio, new Elis James and John Robins? Not a chance; no matter how many times one disgruntled listener might text into the show they’ll never change their loveable ways! However, change was certainly afoot content wise, as the guys launched a brand spanking new feature which ticks all of Producer Dave’s boxes (except maybe getting people ready for the weekend). Yes, you’re about to hear the very first episode of DI Robbyns - and no, this isn’t a Radio 4 podcast.

Elsewhere, John comes up with about thirty different text topics, Elis shares his love for the inimitable Mr Urdd, Producer Dave brags about a recent purchase and a listener shares their musical talents LIVE on air.

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#274 - Date City Central, Forty Slinks and Reece With A Spoon

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 15:56:00 GMT

‘Excitement’ was the word on everyone’s lips at the BBC today… and for good reason. First, they were excited about the fact that the wonderful Lou Sanders was sitting in for Elis whilst he treated himself to a luxury spa break in Montenegro. Then, the excitement grew even more as John entered the studio looking more buff than ever before. And just when we thought the excitement couldn’t grow any more, Producer Dave announced he was off to relive his early 20s by going to see the Arctic Monkeys. And with that, the holy trinity of excitement was sorted, perfectly placed to surf the radio waves.

There’s a real treat in store for you today, featuring the following audible accoutrements: a listener talking about the time they were outwitted by a pigeon, John channelling his inner local radio presenter, Lou absolutely destroying her co-presenter in a scripted intro, and Producer Dave trying his best to stay balanced in a Made Up Game.

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#273 - Kwik Save Clothes, Tallinn Jokes and Big Bisc

Fri, 26 May 2023 17:11:00 GMT

It’s a good job that the microphones in Broadcasting House are on adjustable mic stands, because for today’s show self-certified posh person Sir Elis James was presenting from atop a felt-lined throne, whilst the peasants that are John and Producer Dave were forced to sit on upturned wooden buckets, never once making eye contact with his highness. And as an offering to the people, Sir James presented a venerable feast of content… the broadest content in the land!

John shares a teary Turkish restaurant tale, the guys come up with their own range of soft toys, someone mistakes James Bond for Ed Miliband and Elis gives us an insight into his favourite darts chants.

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#272 - Noodle Season, Taunton Pastrami and Foyer Residencies

Fri, 19 May 2023 15:34:00 GMT

What do you get if you cross an elite-level goalkeeper, a man carrying a chopping board in his rucksack and someone who just can’t wait to get ready for the weekend? That’s right, you get the Elis James and John Robins show on BBC 5 Live. And whilst Elis never did get a chance to show off his chopping skills, he did get a chance to slice through some freshly picked correspondence about what weird advice listeners have been given (which was much more interesting than the onion-based fun we had planned).

There was a rather controversial Made Up Game, we heard a toilet tale that stoked the embers of shame, the age-old question “How do you get a wolf to trust you?” is answered, and a listener shared their grievances with how people say “Goodbye… bye… bye… bye”.

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#271 - Fragrant Disregard, Druids In Need and The Man of Steele

Fri, 12 May 2023 16:07:00 GMT

Is there anything more scintillating than overhearing three good friends goofing around on national radio? Well according to Producer Dave there is, and it's catching the scent of a handsome man eating eggs Benedict on a quiet Friday morning. But unlike radio, you can't Shazam a fragrance, so instead Dave decided to put his Northern charm to good use and find out exactly why this man's aroma was so wonderful. It turns out the cost of smelling good is £200, so it's safe to say that Dave is sticking to his good old can of Lynx.

Away from all the 'smelltalk', ahead of a big goalkeeping performance John was given some tips from a former professional shot-stopper, there was some real snackable content in a Made Up Game, we heard the story of an old tin of meat, and Elis provided us with one of the greatest anecdotes of all time.

Oh, and for the triangulation fans amongst you, the the centre point for today's broadcast was just west of Stratford on the A46. Strap in!

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#270 - Toddler Tatts, Centenary Sprinters and Own Brand Stout

Fri, 05 May 2023 17:31:00 GMT

With the coronation of King Charles III just hours away, Elis and John were giddy with excitement in a balanced and compliant way, with streets parties, Union Jack body paint and temporary Royal tattoos all extolled when discussing weekend plans.

And yet even with the chaps’ eager anticipation reaching fever pitch, it’s incredible to think they were still able to compose themselves for a top tier parliamentary Made Up Game, a fascinating ‘this is your life’ chat with fellow 5 Liver Tony Livesey, and an incredibly detailed discussion about aftershave.

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#269 - Bonus Mobility, Long Awaited Wazzes and Aggers On Dressage

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 16:43:00 GMT

‘Informative… punctual… fun’. These are all words you’d associate with a consummate broadcaster. But ‘bravery’? No, that’s an adjective that’s reserved for one broadcaster and one broadcaster only. That’s right: John Robins. He doesn’t just say what he thinks people want to hear, he says what he thinks others need to hear; and nobody (especially Producer Dave) can stop him. So if you want your weekly fix of bravery, you’re in the right place.

John is handed the baton of improvisation, we hear some wonderful retirement dreams, Elis questions some of the refereeing decisions during a Made Up Game, and there is a Shame Well that royally cracks up the studio.

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#268 - The Royal Tab, Insanity Platters and DI Robbyns

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 17:09:00 GMT

Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is his voice that he was going to carry John on this show no matter how much muscle the man from Buffinghamshire has put on.

Thankfully, there was no need for such strenuous exertion as John arrived in peak comedic fitness. He dug into Elis's bold breakfast choices at the hotel buffet and in a radio first listed every single mug that you can find in his cupboard. That's 16, to be precise.

Also expect an assonance-heavy Made Up Game and a caller who got the boys purring.

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#267 - Atomic Bum, Apologetic Moshing and Yo Shoeshi

Fri, 14 Apr 2023 16:18:00 GMT

Over the past few months it’s been well documented that Elis James is the busiest man on earth, so this week he decided to take some much needed time off to top up his tan / vibe stores. But who could keep his seat warm whilst he keeps himself warm in Portugal? There was only one man for the job: everyone’s favourite Old Etonian (depending on which newspaper you read), the one and only Ivo Graham! And just like a loan player looking to make their mark in lower league football, he wasn’t content with sitting on the bench! He got stuck in from the first minute, gave John the runaround and even left a leg in on Producer Dave.

There’s a Made Up Game which some (including the higher-ups at 5 Live) have branded ‘risky’, Ivo takes a look through this week’s broadsheets, John discusses his most recent step to becoming a beefcake, and a loveable East End builder stops by to give us a quote. Bosh!

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#266 - Single Pringles, Sportageddon and 225 Lollipop Ladies

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 16:24:00 GMT

With a MASSIVE announcement from the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar, a HUGE Made Up Game involving a behemoth of the broadcasting world, and a GIGANTIC faux pas from Producer Dave when describing his weekend plans, you’d be forgiven for looking on in disbelief when finding out today’s show is only 90 minutes long.

Alongside all this bigness, Elis arrives at the studio with a very special guest, John sulks because of certain scoring parameters, and everyone just about remains on the right side of the undue prominence line when debating a Petty Parliament item.

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#265 - Vampire Grannies, Breaking Beale and John’s Dream Seat

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 16:55:00 GMT

What car would Huw Edwards drive? Where is John’s favourite spot to sit on a crowded train? Does Elis know how much a second class stamp costs? Does new feature The Riff Symposium actually work? All valid questions, with some fascinating answers* that are all revealed, divulged or discussed across two hours of scintillating radio with Elis and John.

And amongst the cut and thrust of top notch seat-of-your-pants broadcasting, there was a Made Up Game that delivered, an Ask John that informed, and a Petty Parliament that divided.

*Burgundy Mercedes E-Class estate, near the toilets, maybe - we're hopeful.

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#264 - Slimline Biscuits, Impartial Spines and Tweet The Internet

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 17:05:00 GMT

The floors of Broadcasting House were shaking this morning, as Beefcake Robins entered the studio fresh from achieving yet another personal best at the gym. His continued workout efforts have seen him rise to second in the table of the “5 Live Ripped Rankings”, and he’s got Rick Edwards firmly in his reach. And to show just how strong he’s become he was able to present the whole show with Elis on one shoulder and Producer Dave on another, all whilst maintaining perfect form.

In a show which had “giddy energy” running through its veins the guys speak to a wildlife Unsung Hero, Elis’s social media habits are put under the microscope, John tries to figure out what car Tony Livesey drives, and Producer Dave’s eyes turn black from stress.

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#263 - Dockers Dictionary, Postcode Dave and Floss Comedy

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 16:22:00 GMT

The higher-ups at the BBC might be able to restrict Elis and John to an hour's worth of radio in order to make room for the Cheltenham Festival, but do you know what they won't ever restrict? An appetite for quality chat that is SO ravenous they're able to make a 60-minute show feel like an 85-minute show because of just how much they've jammed into it!

Producer Dave puts the guys through their comedy paces with another Riff Symposium, there's a discussion about Adrian Chiles' new money-making scheme, a listener tells us how brilliant Sweden is and John continues to flex his muscles (if only you could see them).

Plus, John appeared on 5 Live Breakfast this morning as part of their 'In My Opinion' feature, so as a special treat we've included that too.

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#262 - Robot Lasagne, Sink Sabotage and Ping When You’re Winning

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 18:06:00 GMT

A surprise at every turn, content on the cusp of being toooo edgy, and with some bits a little too revealing for the more conservative consumer.. Elis and John on 5 Live, or the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar (available at bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn, fyi)?

BOTH! With today’s explosive offering matching the #daring and #dangerous extremes of everyone’s favourite wall-hung charity organiser.

There was sink-based drama, microwave-based shenanigans, plus some other stuff that isn’t centred around the kitchen.

Enjoy!

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#261 - Riff Yourself Thin, Sexy Elis and Bury’d In Shame

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 17:29:00 GMT

In an unexpected turn of events John has become something of a 'gym head', and today in the studio he asked Elis and Dave to touch his muscles 12 times (far more than the usual three times). Thankfully the guys didn't pass out with passion: they were able to take the excitement they felt after John tensed up his biceps and translate it into top notch broadcasting.

Today's show featured an on-air reunion with an old pal, a Shame Well that has already been submitted into the 'Awards' folder, everyone's favourite cheeky postman stopped by... and it was all delivered with a touch of class!

Do YOU want access to back-to-back shame? Thankfully you're in luck, as 'Shame Well' is now available as its own playlist on BBC Sounds! Just search 'Shame Well' on the greatest app on earth to listen to some of the best shame from over the years uninterrupted.

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#260 - Epsom Mad Funkers, Celestial Kick Ups and Capers Capers

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 17:20:00 GMT

A wise person once said "A rising tide lifts all boats". However another less well-known wise person also said "A giddy John lifts all spirits", and today saw such a proverb come to life as Robins and his good pal James excitedly crafted a radio show for the ages. Yes, Elis and John were in fine fettle today; and even managed to make Producer Dave turn completely pale whilst discussing EMF.

If you're playing 'radio production bingo' you're likely to be shouting 'HOUSE' very quickly, as today's show included all the following: a live read of terms and conditions, a new feature created on the fly, throwing to the cricket, and ringing of 'the good radio bell'. There was also an extremely tense Made Up Game, a motivational masterclass, and a conclusion to 'Bristol City Penaltygate'.

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#259 - FTSE Friday, Shy Erotica and Guff Complaints

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 17:40:00 GMT

Today's show was BRAVO, INDIA, GOLF. No, the guys weren't celebrating the achievements of PGA tour golfer Anirban Lahiri: they announced that 'The Elis James and John Robins Tax Year Calendar' in aid of Comic Relief is finally available to purchase! Whilst the value of the pound was only marginally affected by the announcement it's safe to say that the orders came flying in, showing once again how passionate the people of the UK are about TAX.

Away from all the calendar chat there was a Made Up Game for the linguistics fans amongst you, the guys aired out some more Hot Gossip, Adrian shares some listeners' poetry to rival Producer Dave, and a real-life New Yorker dials in from his midtown loft on the Upper West Side!

To get hold of YOUR copy of the UK’s hottest piece of tax merchandise, you just need to head to bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn where you can also find the terms and conditions and privacy notice.

Once there, you just need to click on the ‘Tax Calendar’ link, and that’ll take you straight to the order page.

The calendar costs £12.99 including postage, with a minimum of £4 from each sale being donated to registered charity Comic Relief and will help to support people who are facing the toughest times of their lives. The money raised will help people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis and tackle issues such as homelessness, mental health problems, and food poverty.

The calendars will be available to buy until 31st March 2023, so act fast to make sure you don’t miss out on your very own piece of tax history!

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#258 - Martin Lewis, Operation Snack and Takeaway Tittle-Tattle

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 20:04:00 GMT

If the aim of a usual Elis and John show is to deliver ‘your classic 4-4-2’ (anecdote over the top, punchline flick-on, good radio bell finish), today felt more like an adventurous 5-2-1-2 set up. A formation that could bring the whole house of cards tumbling down, but if implemented successfully, it could be beautiful. Pivotal wing backs shuttling on the overlap between classic comedy defence and more exotic consumer advice interpretation attack.

New features were given a runout (Hot Gossip), old favourites returned to the side (Backing Britain), some regulars adopted a new position and cameo role before full time (Petty Parliament) and the big man up front was brought on for the last 20 (Martin Lewis). And by jove, the gaffer only went and pulled it off.

Long-winded, half-baked analogies aside, another rip-roaring show awaits, with the right honourable Martin Lewis CBE proving yet again what a thoroughly top chap he is.

Enjoy.

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#257 - Tweet The Internet, Sexual Cul-De-Sacs and Tube Quiz Champ

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 17:42:00 GMT

In a return to scenes reminiscent of 2020, today's show saw Elis, John and Producer Dave broadcasting from a whole host of exotic locations; such as Cardiff, London and Cheadle Hulme. There isn't a soul on earth who knows how radio actually works, so let's just say it's thanks to the magic of "technology" that the guys were able to broadcast to you the listener. And yes, of course there was going to be the odd hiccup - but isn't that what's fun about live radio?

There was an all-time great Shame Well, a Made Up Game right in Dave's wheelhouse, some more listener Hot Gossip... and Elis makes a catastrophic error whilst channelling his inner Chingford.

(Disclaimer: head to the 5 Live website for the full, CORRECT schedule.)

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#256 - Goss Bros, Source A Horse and Space Invader Ska

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 18:14:00 GMT

Production… It's an Audio Always thing. Bringing the hottest goss in town… It’s an Elis and John thing. Having to tame radio’s most uncontrollable duo whilst broadcasting live to the nation, meaning you have to rely on hand gestures to show your annoyance… It’s a Producer Dave thing.

Yes, it’s time for your weekly care package of #content from the guys; and it’s safe to say that today’s show was one of the giddiest we’ve had for a long time. There was a MASSIVE Tax Year Calendar update, John stressed about going to a fancy dress party (with a very ambiguous theme), Elis shared that he was the victim of a prank, and a listener finally asked the question we’ve all been wanting an answer for: “What does Producer Dave actually do?”.

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#255 - Loving Lightly, Liner Pies and VAT Bottomed Girls

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 18:45:00 GMT

The UK is going through something of a cold snap at the minute, with temperatures dropping to as low as -2 degrees Celsius. But wait: don't go filling up that hot water bottle just yet, because Elis and John are here with more than two hours of boiling hot broadcasting warm enough to heat up a leisure centre to a balmy 19 degrees (or any building of a similar size).

Their Tax Year Calendar plans race ahead at a frightening pace, the guys play a Made Up Game focusing on a broadcasting titan, John gets confused when plotting a railway journey... and most shockingly of all, Elis James struggles with an accent. You'll have to hear it to believe it!

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#254 - George Ezra, Horny Traffic and Bond’s Great Escape

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 18:56:00 GMT

A hustling bustling show hit the airwaves today, as Elis and John not only laid the foundations for releasing their own Tax Year Calendar (April to April, 2023/2024), but they also said hello to friend of the show and all round lovely chap, George Ezra!

The Bullion Boy slotted into the EJJR formation seamlessly, sharing tales of his 1200 mile hike, mucking in with Petty Parliament, and even humouring Elis and his impersonation skills as our old friend ‘Little Georgie Ezra’ made an appearance after a three year hiatus.

Plus, prepare for a car-based Shame Well that surely ploughs straight down the overtaking lane into the top ten.

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#253 - Pylon Alley, Chairman Meow and 1.2kg of Self-Reproach

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 18:35:00 GMT

New Year, new you… but same old badinage from Elis James and John Robins, radio’s most lovable lummoxes. And though we hope that you all had some peaceful time off, the festive break wasn’t a period of relaxation for the guys: Elis decided to write a critical analysis on every episode of the show from over the past year, and John came up with no less than 85 new show ideas… all of which have been added to the “ACTION THIS SECOND” folder in the Audio Always office.

The guys heard about some of the visual highlights of the M40, argued about whether a former Prime Minister or former Big Breakfast host would make a better stand-in radio presenter, and there was a Champions League level Shame Well. What a way to start the year!

This podcast has been edited in October 2024.

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#252 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2022

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 14:00:00 GMT

Leonard I. Sweet once proclaimed "The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create", and as BBC Radio 5 Live's premium purveyors of content Elis and John are already hard at work creating a future full of japes, jokes and jolly's, they don't have time for nostalgia; their eyes are firmly fixed on what's up next for them... and they NEVER dwell on the past.

That said, here's a show purely dedicated to looking back at their best moments from 2022.

There's been highs (Elis watching his beloved Wales qualify for the World Cup), there's been lows (John having a sardine-induced breakdown in Scotland) ... and prose that Wordsworth himself would be proud of (Producer Dave rhyming 'ineffective' with 'Pigeon Detectives').

See you next year!

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#249 - Elis and John's Made Up Games Christmas Special

Sun, 25 Dec 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Games. Some of us love them, some of us take them far too seriously, some of us make them up... and this very special edition of the Elis James and John Robins show celebrates those games that have been created by you, the listener: but with a festive twist. That's right, it's Elis and John's Made Up Games Christmas Special!

Recorded in front of a live studio audience at the BBC Philharmonic Studios, this episode sees Elis and John compete against each other to accrue as many points as possible in order to claim the title of Made Up Games Christmas Champion. However, they're not alone: Producer Dave acts as the iron-fisted quizmaster, members of the BBC Philharmonic provide a live music soundtrack, and the guys are joined by two VERY special guests. So don your Christmas jumpers, pull a cracker, and settle in for an hour of pure festive Made Up Games!

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#251 - Thawduroy, Chiles Play and A Breakdown In Glencoe

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 17:56:00 GMT

It's the last Friday before Christmas. You're counting down the minutes until you can leave work. Out of office turned on, fax machine turned off; you're ready to hit the road... and in front of you is a mammoth 195 mile journey from Gloucester to Hull.

It's a scenario familiar to millions, but thankfully Elis and John are here to help those of you heading home over the festive period; and on today's show they were looking to accumulate a billion miles worth of journeys around the country. How far are the people of the UK travelling? Who are they with? And most crucially of all, what are they driving? Yes: we're Driving Home For Christmas.

The guys also speak to a positively festive Unsung Hero, Santa's Head of Logistics drops by... and the joke writing skills of two of the UK's premier comedians are put to the test in a very special Made Up Game.

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#250 - Operation Semaphore, 22 Pill Mipes and Naga's Perfect Roasties

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 19:54:00 GMT

Today, a new geo-triumvirate was born, as content proceeded to explode across the airwaves from central London (Elis), BBC Bristol (John) and Salford’s Media Citeh (Producer Dave).

And with a smorgasbord of content covered including (but not limited to) bean shots, Clarence Seedorf, toilet seats, Chinooks, Pokemon cards, potatoes, Roy Keane, Larkin and Scottish weather, maybe long-distance ISDN-supported broadcasting is the future for our digital-terrestrial protagonists?

Either way, good show.

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#248 - Honey Traps, Window Misteries and Van Outen: The One That Got Away

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 16:55:00 GMT

With something called the 'World Cup' still holding a monopoly over the airways Elis and John were shunted into an hour long quarter final shaped siding of a show today. But the presence of neither Croatians or Brazilians on the schedule could cramp their style. John took his seemingly talking big coat out for a spin, Elis channels Brando and fans of Wareing, Wallace, et al. will be pleased with a tasty Made Up Game.

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#247 - Melon FM, John's Hot Nuts and Fackets

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 17:55:00 GMT

The spinning mule. Fred Dibnah. The Wigan kebab. Many things have rocked Greater Manchester, but none have made quite the impact as today's broadcast from Media Citeh. A quiet gasp went around the building as the revolving doors revealed that the Big Wigs were in town for their approximately annual away day to the Salford Riviera.

"Is that Britain's premier professional football fan and Amersham's 1,232nd golfer?" they whispered as John sipped his long black and Elis took off his million pound jacket ready for an hour of gonzo radio the UK hadn't heard since the days of Producer Dave was larging it in Fifth Avenue. The result for the non-live listener is 79 podcast minutes of birds, receipt repartee and generic catalogue oriented fun.

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#246 - Educated Fleas, Pomegranate Fridges and Wee Out Your Concerns (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 25 Nov 2022 06:00:00 GMT

You may have heard that something called the ‘World Cup’ is currently taking place in Qatar, and due to 5 Live’s commitment to bringing coverage of EVERY game throughout the tournament there was no live Elis and John show this week. However, there’s no way we couldn’t provide you with your weekly dose of chat, so we’re happy to share some bonus #content with you. Think of it as a vibe symposium, the Yolta of ‘chat’, a meeting of minds… Essentially, it’s Elis, John and Producer Dave having a good old catch up.

Elis discusses his journey to Qatar to watch Wales at their first World Cup since 1958, John talks about his journey to the car (with his beer fridge), and Producer Dave alleges that he's currently at his heaviest. Enjoy!

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#245 - Two Belt Tony, Good Radio Richard and Sandwiches In The Dark

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 17:41:00 GMT

After recovering from the career-threatening injury he sustained whilst playing dodgeball last week John was able to make it into the studio for today’s show… and when he put his cap on five minutes before the mics went live Elis and Dave just knew that it was going to be a good day. However, when the cap ended up coming off there were concerns that the radio wheels might fall off. Thankfully John didn’t lose the metaphorical dressing room, and battled through to score radio goal after radio goal.

The guys speak to an Unsung Hero who’s out in Qatar with the Welsh national team, John does a good (but weird) impression, and there’s one of the funniest Made Up Games of all time.

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#244 - Stodge Then Dodge, Topknot Tony and Love Thy Rut

Fri, 11 Nov 2022 16:51:00 GMT

There’s nothing worse than a sportsman sustaining an injury before a big event. Months of preparation hang in the balance, opportunities of a lifetime potentially lost forever… and just like Gareth Bale ahead of the upcoming World Cup there were questions about whether John would be able to present today’s show after sustaining an injury to his calf. But you know John… he’s able to power through ANYTHING, and fresh from a long bath he rolled back the months and presented the show from home - with only minor miscommunications with Elis!

Despite being miles apart the show was an absolute triumph! The guys were joined by a cricketing Unsung Hero, Tanya from YouGov dropped by to discuss how the people of Britain recite phone numbers, Tony Livesey talked about his solitary news reading appearance and Elis went barmy thanks to a Made Up Game.

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#243 - Phone Formations, Lies Monthly and Pick Ye Candles

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 17:01:00 GMT

Every once in a while Elis and John will pull a topic out of thin air that causes the text console to explode; and their ability to engage the nation is something they take pride in. However, today it was the turn of listener Ian to grab the nation's attention with his submission to Petty Parliament… and what a topic it was (caution: you WILL have your own opinion on it).

We speak to an Unsung Hero who plays a very important role in the world of Strictly Come Dancing, there’s a Made Up Game that was probably a bit too far in John’s wheelhouse, Producer Dave tells us his story of Squandering Extravagance and the guys share a live announcement (massive it is).

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#242 - Davestation, Flexing For Britain and The BACS Zone

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 16:40:00 GMT

It feels like a lifetime since Elis, John and Producer Dave were all in the same room together, but fresh from their respective trips away (stag do and golf do) not only were they returning to the studio… They were also returning to give YOU a lesson in how live radio should be: fast, loose, and with off-the-cuff quizzes.

After Elis’s shocking revelation that he doesn’t wash his face the guys chat to a skin doctor about whether a change of routine is needed, John throws Elis under the bus when testing out his accent skills, Producer Dave offers some parenting advice on escalator safety and John shares his deep understanding of chancel insurance.

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#241 - Crossman’s Mullet, Bingo Bango Bongo and Can Mentality

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 13:00:00 GMT

Elis and John are both taking a much deserved break from their regular slot this week. No, they aren’t heading to a couples retreat in Bali to “find themselves”; Elis is going on a stag do and John is off to play golf. So, like the dedicated broadcasters they are, the guys reconvened on a crisp Sunday morning to ensure that no one has to go a week without their usual fix of affable broadcasting.

As well as all the usual fun there was a calamitous performance in a Made Up Game, Elis tells a joke so poor that it wouldn’t make it into a Christmas cracker, John shares his unusual phobia, and Producer Dave gets a lesson in moth-edible clothing.

As a side note, we recorded this episode before the recent political events regarding the Prime Minister. We can assure you that as capable broadcasters Elis and John are more than trusted to cover political goings-on; they just don't yet have the ability to see into the future.

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#240 - Café del Marsterman, Lonely Fans and Weymouth Whining

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 20:30:00 GMT

Due to #factors Elis and John didn’t present a live show today; but not ones to let you, the listener, miss out on their weekly dose of chat they decided to record a bonus episode. It’s laid back, it’s loosey goosey, it’s chilled, it’s a jam.

Producer Dave reveals that he didn’t invite John on a special lash, Elis steps behind the microphone after a challenging week, John shares that he’s off for a walk with the SWC and to celebrate National Album Day the guys speak to the artist who designed the artwork for Elton John’s debut album.

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#239 - Müttley Crüe, Aroused Lightning and Welsh Washing

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 16:26:00 GMT

Today Elis returned from his end of summer break feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, and sat down on a seat that had been kept suitably warm by Ivo Graham. Not one to rest on his laurels he was ready to raise the temperature of that seat even more by jumping head first into some riveting topics of conversation. Yes, Elis James and John Robins were able to prove once again that they know exactly what the country want to talk about by pulling not one but TWO topics of conversation out of thin air that switched the light boards up like Blackpool Illuminations.

Elsewhere, Producer Dave treads carefully during a Made Up Game, John discusses golf humour, and Tony Livesey shares that he finds eating sexy. Plus, 12 months on from the #SaveJohn campaign we’re given an update by James from the Office of National Statistics to see whether John’s hard work wasn’t a total waste of time.

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#238 - Spartan Skodas, Curveball Carvery and The Terracotta Assassin

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 16:20:00 GMT

With Elis James spending this Friday sunning himself in Wales it was down to John to choose a suitable co-host to take his place. It was a drawn out process featuring seven preliminary rounds of auditioning, two auditions in front of a live audience and an arm wrestle. The victor, and sharing the airwaves with John this week, was none other than Ivo Graham; and boy did he relish the opportunity.

Making his first appearance as an official co-host, Ivo really embraced the cut and thrust nature of broadcasting with John. It was a case of “run before you can walk”, and with each stride he got closer to a finishing line marked “chat”. There was an impromptu discussion with a referee, John got annoyed during a Made Up Game, Ivo put his improv skills to the test and Producer Dave NEARLY Backed Britain.

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#237 - Clown Of The Scrum, Party Squirrels and Darklord866

Sat, 24 Sep 2022 08:43:00 GMT

If you surveyed 100 residents of the United Kingdom and asked them what it is exactly that they want from a radio show (similar to RAJAR: radio's primary source of audience data) they'd probably list the following: a discussion with an ethical hacker, a feature where two grown men try to estimate the weight of a welly based on feel alone, and regular reminders of how much one of the presenters needs a nap. Following on from the aforementioned survey a panel of creatives would probably gather and create today's EXACT Elis James and John Robins show... which is now available for you to enjoy!

There's also an update on the Backing Britain campaign, Tony Livesey discusses his long hair days, and John uses his power to kick a caller to the curb.

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#236 - "I Thought I Needed A Reason To Just Give Me To Shake Things Up A Bit" (Bonus #Content)

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:00:00 GMT

On Friday 9th September John Robins was due to go away, which meant he, Elis and Producer Dave spent the evening of Monday 5th September pre-recording a show so that you the listener didn't miss out on any content. However, after the sad news that Queen Elizabeth II had passed away on Thursday 8th the BBC decided that having Elis and John on air less than 24 hours later might have been a bit too jovial given the circumstances.

We didn't want this show to go the same way as the oft spoken of "Pub Quiz" bonus episode, so we've decided that the time is probably right to release what we recorded. And as a special treat you’ll hear a chat with comedian Glenn Moore, who gives an insight into what it was like working with Elis and John at the beginning of their radio journey.

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#235 - Breakfast Broccoli, Digit Wilson and Too Hot Tubs

Fri, 16 Sep 2022 16:25:00 GMT

This afternoon Elis and John returned to the airwaves of BBC 5 Live and proved once more that there is no form of broadcasting that they can’t turn their hand to. Agonisingly conscious of the sage ‘tone’ advice from Adrian Chiles ringing in their ears they repaid 5 Live’s trust with some top level radio (and even threw in the odd anecdote for good measure).

Elis shares that his house is falling apart, John tells the guys about his current eating routine, our Unsung Hero critiques Producer Dave’s jingle writing skills and a listener ruins a rug.

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#234 - Back On The Bix, Tea Bag Trunks and Stew Psychics

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 16:57:00 GMT

Oh it’s nice to be back home isn’t it? The guys had a fun time away from each other but nothing beats the feeling of breathing the same air, nodding at the same winks and having a go at Producer Dave for not Backing Britain in person. Yes, today saw Elis, John and Dave reunited for the first time in what felt like months (when it was, in fact, only one month), and they put on a show deserving of the 2-4pm slot on a national BBC radio station.

Giddy, and with a sense of excitement (Elis) and lethargy (John) overcoming them there was a spicy Made Up Game, John perpetuated an urban myth and Elis put a new spin on Up Your Region. Plus, strap yourself in for some award-worthy Shame.

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#233 - Radio Robot, Pasty Pain and Stinky Sauntering

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 16:28:00 GMT

John is almost at the end of his Fringe run, which meant that today’s show was the last from his now-beloved Edinburgh studio. But did he shed a tear in memory of his extended break up north coming to its climax? Absolutely not, because it means from next week he, Elis and Producer Dave will be reunited in London; live from the epicentre of radio.

It’s safe to say this show had it all: there was a surprise new feature from Elis, Producer Dave introduced a smashing clip-based Made Up Game, Alison Spittle dropped by in her big sandals and Matt Forde gave a textbook example as to why you shouldn’t eat carb-heavy foods right before appearing on live radio.

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#232 - Huwid Edwards, Doctor Theatre and A Mick Foley Folly

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 16:47:00 GMT

This week’s show was one for the triangulation fans amongst you. Elis, John and Producer Dave presented the show from London, Edinburgh and Salford respectively; thus creating a scalene triangle that spanned the length of the nation, full to the brim of ideas, features, guests, and even a little bit of light ribbing.

The guys were joined by the wonderful Thanyia Moore to chat about her debut Edinburgh show, there was a discussion around the emergence of certain accents, Elis interrupted one of John’s anecdotes and there was a Made Up Game featuring a whole lot of laughs.

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#231 - Padre Pig, Ingleby Greenhow and The Autonators

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 15:00:00 GMT

Elis may be the kind of person that constantly has content at the forefront of his mind and body, but even he sometimes has to put other life events first. So in order to enable him to go on holiday to celebrate Isy’s birthday, this week's show was specially pre-recorded at 8.30pm on a Monday evening (ironically interrupting Producer Dave’s holiday in Portugal).

Poet and comedian extraordinaire Rob Auton pops round John’s Edinburgh flat to perform some specially curated poetry and chat about his latest show, Elis eats some almonds, Producer Dave puts his swimming pool to good use in a very special Made Up Game and John gets excited about some interesting British place names.

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#230 - Rockless Fields, Flyering High and Passport Portraits

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 16:11:00 GMT

Och aye the noo! John Robins is up in Edinburgh for the Fringe throughout the whole of August, so for today's show he joined Elis and Producer Dave live from Scotland via an ISDN line (think tin can and string but more advanced).

To celebrate the fact he’s currently staying in the centre of the comedy universe John invited comedic royalty Richard Herring along to talk about things he takes too seriously, as well as asking him to propose a law to Petty Parliament.

Elsewhere, Elis tells us about how he fell victim to a scam, Producer Dave spends 120 minutes panicking about passports, there’s a very painful Made Up Game and Tony Livesey shares his swimming secrets.

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#229 - Bathroom Balconies, Tea Bag Tribulations and Mayor Doobliani

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 16:44:00 GMT

After an extended break away from each other, Elis and John returned to the airwaves of 5 Live this afternoon and reaffirmed that when they’re in the same room together they create unstoppable radio. As a side note, John will be in Edinburgh from next week so they’re going to be broadcasting from separate locations for the next month.

In a show that could only be described as “a radio version of Sgt Pepper” the guys spoke to an interior design master about the rise in glass toilet doors, a Commonwealth Games Unsung Hero dropped by, there was one of the all time great Made Up Games (featuring a special guest) and Producer Dave plugged his other podcast “It’s… Wagatha Christie” (available on BBC Sounds now).

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#228 - Tricky Chinos, Cushion Collectives and Ellen White

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 17:54:00 GMT

With Elis holidaying in Bedford, Lou Sanders was once again parachuted in to keep Johnny JR in check, and what a job she did.

Amongst the fun, we were given rare access to the heart of the Lionesses den, as footballing legend Ellen White joined us to discuss England’s chances of going all the way in Euro 2022. She also told Lou who her best friend was.

Elsewhere, this week’s Made Up Game was criminally good, Mystic Megan joined us from Wales, and we were treated to some pretty graphic DIY surgeries.

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#227 - The Vacation Tapes: Falkland Islands

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 13:00:00 GMT

For the past few weeks sport has dominated the airwaves at 5 Live, so Elis James and John Robins got to take a much-needed break from their usual broadcasting schedule. And you know their favourite way to relax? That's right: by creating content for you to enjoy in place of their regular podcast. In the final episode of this three-part series Elis, John and Producer Dave embark on the journey of a lifetime to a place that none of them have ever visited. So far they've been to somewhere hot, they've been to somewhere lively; but now it's time to send them somewhere a bit colder... And with a geography whiz like Elis James in the travelling party there's no way they could end up in the wrong place! Let's just hope that Postman Dave's big sack of post is big enough to provide them all with ample shelter.

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#226 - Elis and John at The Podcast Show Live 2022

Tue, 12 Jul 2022 13:00:00 GMT

As part of The Podcast Show Live 2022 Elis and John were let off the leash in a matinee for the ages at the Islington Assembly Hall, taking to the stage in front of a capacity crowd of roughly 400 PCDs (and a handful of people who had been dragged along for the day). There was poetry, prose and properly professional responses to the question of "Can you show me your squatting technique?". Not ones to stick to the rulebook the guys took some of their regular features and tweaked them to make the most of the live vibe; however, because the boys were in such a giddy and excitable mood we must mention that this episode does contain censored strong language.

Here it is: Elis and John at The Podcast Show 2022... and it's live!

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#225 - The Vacation Tapes: New York

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 13:00:00 GMT

For the next few weeks sport is dominating the airwaves at 5 Live, so Elis James and John Robins get to take a much needed break from their usual broadcasting schedule. And you know their favourite way to relax? That's right: by creating content for you to enjoy in place of their regular podcast.

In the second episode of this three part series Elis, John and Producer Dave are being whisked away to a location that 2/3 of them have already been to. In amongst the hustle and bustle of their new recording location Postman Dave makes a celebrated return (mostly thanks to the jingle) and John explains why he doesn't drive an estate car.

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#224 - A Scottish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Three

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 13:30:00 GMT

He’s navigated his way around the Emerald Isle, but now it’s time for John Robins to pilot his beloved compact SUV to pastures new. Will there be golf? Yes. Will there be wind? Just a bit. Will there be pints? Of course.

It’s time for him to swap limericks for lochs and set sail for the next destination in his journey of self (and content) discovery: Scotland.

John’s holiday is about to come to an end, but before heading to his home in rural Buckinghamshire there’s just time for him to take a visit to his spiritual home. He also stops off at another service station, and reflects on what he’s learnt during his time on the road.

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#223 - A Scottish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Two

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 13:15:00 GMT

He's navigated his way around the Emerald Isle, but now it's time for John Robins to pilot his beloved compact SUV to pastures new. Will there be golf? Yes. Will there be wind? Just a bit. Will there be pints? Of course.

It's time for him to swap limericks for lochs and set sail for the next destination in his journey of self (and content) discovery: Scotland.

This episode sees John take on the seemingly impossible task of walking all the way around Loch Lomond, he gets recognised walking along the West Highland Way and (in an effort to bring balance to the series) names roughly 20 makes and models of car.

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#222 - A Scottish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode One

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 13:00:00 GMT

It’s time for him to swap limericks for lochs and set sail for the next destination in his journey of self (and content) discovery: Scotland.

The first part of John's trip around Scotland sees him taking in some breathtaking scenery: the Ayrshire coast, the Firth Of Clyde and a pirate-themed pavilion. He also spends some time sitting on a rock and drinks one cider too many.

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#221 - The Vacation Tapes: Ayia Napa

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 13:00:00 GMT

This special three part series sees Elis, John and Producer Dave being dropped into a random holiday location before delving into some of the hottest topics around (if you're a journalist at one of the major broadsheets put your pen down - this is just theatre of the mind). They'll also be opening some of your ACTUAL post and riffing their way through the episode in each and every way possible.

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#220 - Batican City, Vape Island and The Dave Dollar

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 16:52:00 GMT

They say that if you give a man a fish you can feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you can feed him for a lifetime. But what happens if you give two radio presenters 11 different screens in a single studio? I’ll tell you what happens: they'll produce radio that’s exciting and groundbreaking in equal measure, and that’s something you just can’t teach.

To get us into the mood for festival season Elis and John speak to a Glastonbury Unsung Hero, John flexes his geographical muscles in a Made-Up Game, Elis struggles to pinpoint a Welsh accent and Producer Dave details his bleak Friday (live from the comfort of MediaCityUK).

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#219 - An Irish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Three

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 13:10:00 GMT

To celebrate entering his fifth decade John Robins decided to undertake the trip of a lifetime.

He packed up his beloved compact SUV (the make and model of which will definitely become clear) with a bag of golf clubs, a microphone and a sense of adventure and left rural Buckinghamshire for his destination: Ireland.

He went in search of answers, but ended up finding something much more important: content.

It’s the final part of John’s windy journey around Ireland, and in this episode he explores the pubs of Belfast, Andrew Ryan offers some sage ulcer advice, and John looks ahead to his next adventure.

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#218 - An Irish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Two

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 13:05:00 GMT

To celebrate entering his fifth decade John Robins decided to undertake the trip of a lifetime.

He went in search of answers, but ended up finding something much more important: content.

With the wind in his sails (often being picked up by his microphone) John celebrates his first night in Ireland with a lovely sit-down meal before heading for his first round of golf with host of ‘Diary of a High Handicapper’ and rival SUV owner Jamie.

He then heads north to meet up with fellow comedian Andrew Ryan, where they play MORE golf and discuss one of Elis James’s most famous stand-up routines.

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#217 - An Irish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode One

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 13:00:00 GMT

To celebrate entering his fifth decade John Robins decided to undertake the trip of a lifetime.

He went in search of answers, but ended up finding something much more important: content.

In the first episode of this three part series John makes the long journey up the M6, takes in the beautiful scenery of North Wales (featuring some questionable pronunciation) and prepares to set sail for the Emerald Isle.

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#216 - Har Cire, Twin Leaks and Lashing With Livesey

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 16:07:00 GMT

With the people of London basking in some of the best weather we’ve seen this year Elis and John raised the temperature even more with some red hot broadcasting that certainly left Producer Dave sweating at times. But like a perfectly balanced see-saw they were able to level out the sweltering heat with some of the coolest anecdotes out there (most notably one involving Elis playing Nirvana on an electric guitar).

As well as all the usual fun Elis shares a scripted intro that can almost be classed as a one-liner, John offers an apology to the listeners of 5 Live and Producer Dave dons his mortar board for a Key Stage 2 themed Made Up Game.

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#215 - Rum of Thorns, Stat Chat and Macca’s Margarita

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 16:30:00 GMT

If you were to ask John Robins to describe today’s show he’d probably call it a whole load of foxtrot, uniform, November (or for those that detest the phonetic alphabet: fun). The nods and winks were working like a charm and the chemistry between radio’s most dynamic duo was at an all time high; and even a controversial Made Up Game wasn’t going to change that!

We caught up with resident statistician Ross to commemorate a 5 Live milestone, Elis gave us an update on his housing situation, John demonstrated a questionable understanding of human anatomy and a Shame Well left everyone reeling.

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#214 - Tawdry Tents, Lost Lou and Duped John

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 17:01:00 GMT

With Elis being away from the show this week it was down to the ever dependable super-sub Lou Sanders to step in and fill the content void left in his place (think of her as radio’s own Ole Gunnar Solskjær). With a fully rehearsed show opener and a fist full of anecdotes she slotted right in alongside Johnny JR - and even brought some new features with her too!

There was one of the greatest Shame Wells of all time, a Jubilee-themed Made Up Game (featuring an apology from Producer Matt), some very helpful relationship advice and the tale of a missing trombone.

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#213 - Riff Tower, Lyrical Kisses and The Naked DJ

Fri, 27 May 2022 17:29:00 GMT

Oh how the tables have turned in the worlds of the UK’s two most young and relevant broadcasters. Cast your minds back to the not too distant past and you will remember Elis being a sprightly radio presenter full of the joys of life, and John grappling with his own mind. Well the roles seem to have reversed now, as John is as buoyant as he’s ever been and Elis is constantly having to tell himself everything is fine.

However, do you think one sad DJ is going to bring the whole mood down? No chance. This week’s show was full of good times; with an Unsung Hero that’s helped the commuters of London, a Made Up Game that tested Elis and John’s music-radio skills, and a story about a very old cigarette butt. Classic broadcasting.

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#212 - Stumbledore, Wrist Chips and Trans-Atlantic Lager

Fri, 20 May 2022 16:25:00 GMT

Fresh from an appearance on the red carpet Elis entered the studio this morning with an air of swagger and confidence he’d not possessed since June 2016. John, on the other hand, entered the studio after yet another appearance on his own carpet at Grief Towers (it helps his bad back).

In a show full of fun the guys heard about some serious money wastage, Producer Dave shared his disdain for croquet, Elis added another voice to his ever-growing repertoire of impressions and John demonstrated his search-engine skills.

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#211 - Lunge Lieutenants, Mansfield Action and Too Few Cooks

Fri, 13 May 2022 17:08:00 GMT

This afternoon saw John Robins in one of the best moods he’s ever been in, and nothing was going to stop him from presenting a radio show with a smile on his face and a spring in his step (except possibly the DOMS he’s currently suffering from). And when paired with Elis, a man who has been in the same mood for nearly 30 years, there was only going to be one outcome: liquid broadcasting.

Elis gave us another classic “bad guess” during the Made Up Game, John wondered what it would have been like if he was born when Jesus Christ was alive (and how he would have monetised it) and Producer Matt offered a somewhat controversial cheese opinion.

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#210 - Timezone Tension, Birthday BACS and Sir Michael McIntyre

Fri, 06 May 2022 19:54:00 GMT

With John Robins now joining co-host Elis James on the more mature side of 40, the potential mood of our birthday boy was anyone’s guess today.

Luckily, the pep in John’s step was there for all to see… or at least it was until our old friend technology did its level best to de-rail proceedings at every turn. Did it manage to? We’ll let you be the judge of that, dear listener (it did, and now John is sad again), but when did a little bit of on air jeopardy hurt anyone?

Enjoy the chaos.

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#209 - Sheet Traffic, First Date Dave and Rent-a-Loo

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 16:48:00 GMT

Big plans were in place for today’s show, as it was set to be the last time that Johnny JR appeared on radio in his 30s. However, John felt the need to remind everyone that as the youngest member of the team he’s actually only in his mid-30s, and that he’s fine and we don’t need to make a big deal about his upcoming birthday.

In a show full to the brim with hilarity and mirth the guys play the most difficult Made Up Game of all time, Elis reveals the most romantic thing he’s ever done, John drops some butter bombs and Producer Dave puts his creative pen to paper once more.

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#208 - Sardine Starter, Bond's Batteries and Long Arm John

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 17:48:00 GMT

How would you feel if you returned to work after a two-week-long trip around Ireland and Scotland? Refreshed? Maybe. Full of vigour? Quite possibly. Well, not for Johnny JR, who returned from his holiday in what can only be described as a 'foul' mood. Thankfully it didn't take long for him to return to his usual joyful self, thanks to the help of his two best friends Elis and Dave. In what turned out to be an extremely fun show the guys spoke to someone who does Elis's dream job, John incorrectly guesses the cost of rice and Producer Dave gets excited about the weekend... again.

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#207 - Bean Bag Beds, Intensely Salford and Weekday Weddings

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 12:00:00 GMT

What does “always on” mean? How do you recite a dance? How is Johnny Vaughan able to fall asleep so quickly? These are just some of the questions proffered in this week’s podcast, specially prerecorded to enable John to go on his tour of the Emerald Isle. In a show that ran like clockwork (thanks to Producer Dave’s eight stopwatches) Elis justifies not fixing his phone, the guys played a very one-sided Made Up Game, John tells us what he’s got going for him and there’s a Shame Well for the ages.

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#206 - Special Spreadsheets, Armani John and Costa Del Amor

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 15:19:00 GMT

This week there was once again an empty chair in the studio, for Elis James was forced to present from home due to illness. Thankfully John was in an incredible mood due to his impending holiday / journey around the UK and Ireland in his Kia Sportage, so was more than happy to guide the radio ship through to its final destination: Port Content.

The guys are joined by one of the greatest Unsung Heroes of all time, Producer Dave shows off his new baggy jumper, minds are blown in a Made-Up Game and Elis delivers an Oscar-worthy performance when telling everyone what’s coming up on 5 Live (actually, maybe just a BAFTA).

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#205 - Trickling Bunton, Tiny Baths and Wrong John

Fri, 01 Apr 2022 14:42:00 GMT

Today John made a triumphant return to the studio, despite the fact that last week he got dangerously close to being able to broadcast from his toilet at home; and with him he brought an air of vigour that you just can’t capture via the medium of video call. It’s also been Elis’s turn to have the week from hell, after being handed the baton by Producer Dave.

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#204 - Emotional Elis, Watering Can Woes and Dover Displeasure

Fri, 25 Mar 2022 16:26:00 GMT

Today, Elis and John really were on the opposite sides of the "vibe" scale. Elis was on cloud nine after watching his beloved Welsh football team move one step closer to making history, whilst John was on cloud one due to his continued isolation (with the only thing keeping him off cloud zero being his new golf bag organiser).

Alongside all the regular fun a listener pretends to be older than he actually is to keep John happy, a baby Elis is welcomed into the world and Producer Dave’s week from hell becomes a fortnight from hell.

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#203 - Midnight Onions, Balmy Abodes and Headlamp Laments

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 16:17:00 GMT

As Elis sat down to present this week’s slightly shorter show he turned to his right to see an empty chair. It’s the place where John Robins would usually sit himself down to broadcast to the nation, but today he was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully, all Elis had to do was turn his head 30 degrees to the left to look at his computer screen to see Johnny JR staring right back at him, ready to battle through 60 minutes of top quality radio.

Yes, due to factors John was unable to be in the studio with Elis and Producer Dave for the show today; but thanks to the power of technology (and sheer will power) he was still able to join in the fun from home. The guys play a makeshift Made Up Game, a football-based law is debated in Petty Parliament, and Dave answers the call of duty… by sharing his emergency scripted intro.

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#202 - Stuff Radio, Muscle Memory and BJ (Box Junction) Jeopardy

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 19:00:00 GMT

Never has a text topic involved Producer Dave scrambling for so many disclaimers as Mancunian cries of "Don't eat off food" fall on partially receptive ears with SS Safety being saved by a knowledgeable hygiene voice.

Elsewhere John 'Dunning-Kruger' Robins explains the Dunning-Kruger effect and Elis is stunningly followed online by one of the biggest wigs in [Welsh] football.

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#201 - Big Brine, Jawbone Jazz, and The Marquis of Masala

Fri, 04 Mar 2022 17:01:00 GMT

After last week's slight change to proceedings, Elis and John returned to their regular live show today, albeit in a slightly shorter slot. But don't worry, there wasn't any less fun; they adjusted their FPM (fun per minute) monitors accordingly. Alongside all the usual content Elis shares a tractor tale, John reveals that he has VERY strong opinions on canned tuna and Producer Dave is forced to do a Cockney accent (surprisingly inaccurately, despite the fact he lived in London for over a decade). Plus, the guys speak to a very special Unsung Hero who is doing an incredibly important job out in Ukraine.

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#200 - The Riff Matrix, Ceiling Scenarios and Humble Darts (Bonus #content)

Fri, 25 Feb 2022 23:01:00 GMT

Due to factors, Elis and John weren't able to present their regular show today but don't worry - they're still here to provide you with some top quality direct-to-podcast content, and hopefully share a little bit of light during a pretty difficult time.

The guys speak to someone who played a MASSIVE role in making the 90s so cool, Elis realises he just isn't built for certain colours, John shares his (imaginary) weightlifting technique and Producer Dave claims to be 6 foot.

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#199 - Timeless John, Hairdryer Hacks and Fore Facts

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 16:42:00 GMT

A slightly shorter show today due to Storm Eunice, but that doesn’t mean there was any less badinage than you'd come to expect from 'The Unproducibles'. John was flying high after changing the lives of a group of students at his old university, however Elis saw it as just another example of John not being able to let go of the past. As well as all the regular fun the guys spoke to an Unsung Hero with one of the most stressful jobs on earth, John answers a golf related Ask John, Elis switches up the light boards and Producer Dave battles his way through a Made Up Game.

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#198 - Smalltalk Tony, Clueless Kluivert and Definition Dread

Fri, 11 Feb 2022 17:29:00 GMT

Another week, another text topic that captures the hearts of a nation. Elis and John seem to have an instinctive knowledge on what the listeners of 5 Live want to get off their chests, and this week they were inundated with stories of famous people doing normal things. Who would have thought that celebrities take part in activities such as buying rotisserie chickens, perusing the sandwich aisles of supermarkets and spending money on arcade machines?! Plus, John has a bit of a stinker in Ask John, Elis gives up on a Made Up Game before it’s even started, and Producer Dave gets sacked: AGAIN.

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#197 - Human Dressage, Chaud Shame and Stunning Lamb

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 16:41:00 GMT

As they have proven time and time again Elis and John know instinctively what the nation wants to talk about; and this week the people of this country wanted to talk about the names of text groups they’re in. By the end of the show the switchboards had transformed into Blackpool Illuminations, and lit up brighter than Producer Dave’s face on the morning of a City game. Also, the guys speak to an Unsung Hero who is helping the people of London with their tardiness, Elis buckles under the pressure of a word based Made Up Game and John (for the first time in his life) misquotes Alan Partridge.

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#196 - Tax To The Max, The SWC and Elis’s Late Night

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 16:31:00 GMT

Life couldn’t get more exciting for John at the moment. Not only has he got a country walk this weekend it’s also his favourite time of the year: self assessment tax season! To reflect the excitement gripping the nation, the guys have decided to front a campaign to get as many people to submit their tax returns during the show as possible: yes, it’s LIVE TAXING. Why has this never been done on air before? We don’t know, but Chris Evans and his team will be kicking themselves for having not thought up such a thrilling idea. Also, Elis tells us about his experience DJing (following in the footsteps of David Guetta, Fatboy Slim and Producer Dave), there’s another incredible Voice Note of the UK and John offers some sage driving advice. Tax on!

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#195 - Plastic Pipes, Trouser Tantrums and Hip Hop Hodgson

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 16:25:00 GMT

John’s back is hurting. No, not because he’s been “carrying this show for nearly 3 years” as he so often claims, but because he’s been pumping iron at the gym again! Thankfully his trusty spotter Elis James is here to share the sheer amount of #content weighing down on them both, and hopefully help them record a PB in 'chat'. The guys hear from one of the most fearless Unsung Heroes of all time, John gets angry during a Made Up Game, Elis channels his inner preacher and Producer Dave rolls out his ballboy anecdote once again (in case you missed it the first six times).

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#194 - Gas Galore, Code Red Robins and Four Squats To The Wind

Fri, 14 Jan 2022 16:46:00 GMT

In radio, every once in a while you’ll spend hours coming up with a good idea only for a different idea to come out of nowhere that just captures the minds of the nation. That’s exactly what happened in today’s show, as Elis James once again demonstrated that he knows EXACTLY what the people of the UK want to talk about. Two texters at once?! What a treat! Thankfully Elis and John can handle multiple areas of discussion at once, and today they proved that they can play text topic tiki-taka with the best of them. Also, the guys speak to a very secretive Unsung Hero, Elis tells a tale of a crisp conundrum and Producer Dave shares a clip of him singing… against his will.

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#193 - Ben’s Bananas, JR MK13 and Ironic Ironing

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 16:27:00 GMT

‘New year new me’ is ringing out across the land, but that sort of statement just doesn’t apply to Elis and John. They’re the exact same capable broadcasters that took us through 2021 and they marked the start of 2022 the only way they know how: by providing you with lightning fast wit and chat so sharp you could set your watch to it. John teaches Producer Dave a brand new word (how useful it will be remains to be seen), Elis seeks advice on how he can save face in front of his 4 year old daughter and The Voice Note of the UK really kicks up a gear. Plus, there’s a Made Up Game that focuses on one of the best up and coming radio shows around.

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#192 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2021

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

As we wave goodbye to 2021 it’s time for us to once again look back at some of Elis and John’s highlights from the past 12 months. It might not have been the year we all expected but that hasn’t stopped the guys from producing so many good moments that you couldn’t count them on one hand. We’ve whittled down the best bits from over 100 hours of audio for you to enjoy; so grab a Bucks Fizz and join us as we look back at some of the guys’ finest moments.

From John bidding a fond farewell to his beloved Skoda Fabia, to Elis peddling the phrase 'pressure is a privilege' all summer long (with impressive results), every highlight will be unearthed and scritinised with punishing detail, as the BBC's youngest broadcasters prepare for another year of top quality #content in 2022.

And from everyone at Elis and John HQ - Happy New Year!

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#191 - Christmas Day with Elis and John

Sat, 25 Dec 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It’s Christmas Day, and after spending Christmas Eve together at John’s house Elis and Producer Dave are woken on Christmas morning by the most magical to the sounds; John having a night terror. But that’s not going to put a dampener on things, because the guys have a HUGE Christmas Day ahead of them.

John will be cooking a special Christmas vindaloo, Producer Dave will be sharing another Christmas poem and the guys will be joined by a VERY special guest. So whether you’re opening your presents, nursing a hangover or sitting in a separate room to avoid talking to your family, let Elis and John keep you company this Christmas. Salutations!

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#190 - Christmas Eve with Elis and John

Fri, 24 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Clement Clarke Moore famously wrote "Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse." However, he couldn’t have been more wrong this year - because Elis and Producer Dave have ventured over to John’s house for the festive season and they’re stirring up a big old pot of Christmas #content.

Yes, Elis and Dave become the 3rd and 4th people to enter John’s house this year and have brought with them all the things needed for a perfect Christmas: festive cheer, good tidings and 3 jumpers each as John refused to turn the heating on. To help you get into the spirit of Christmas we’ve dusted all the usual features with a bit of snow, we’ll be hearing about your last minute present ideas and the guys will be tickling their taste buds with some hot sauces. What more could you want on Christmas Eve?!

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#189 - Throuple Trouble, Big Sprout and Chip Bread

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 16:29:00 GMT

Today marked Elis and John’s final live show of 2021, and despite Producer Dave’s absence (he was at a flower arranging retreat in Suffolk) they were still able to hold it together to produce some vintage #content. John’s been having a real battle with his bad tooth and presented the show fresh from a tough root canal procedure, Elis told us about a massive business investment that he’s made and the guys discuss their plans for New Years Eve. Spoiler alert: everyone will be in bed before 2021 finishes. Plus, we finally reach the climax of the #SaveJohn campaign.

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#188 - John Virgo, John Cooper-Clarke & John Vaughan

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 18:51:00 GMT

Elis and John, worried about meeting Dave's 'bigger boy' mates, were on top form as some of the world's hottest celebs (review the definition) get involved in the show.

Someone drops in for a fiery Made Up Game and the quest to #savejohn is cranked up a notch as JR ropes in some of the biggest Js in the biz to correct Britain's moral decline.

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#187 - Super Cans, Bagpipe Blues and Circling Sissons

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 17:33:00 GMT

Which of the following would you say are acceptable reasons to not travel down to London for a radio show? a) the birth of a child, b) every train from Manchester to London gets cancelled, c) to allow you to go on the mega lash? If you answered all of the above then you'd be correct - and that final reason is precisely why Producer Dave was up in Salford for today's show whilst Elis and John did all the heavy lifting in London. But despite being hundreds of miles apart they somehow felt closer than ever! In a jam-packed show there's a HUGE #SaveJohn update, a very intense Made Up Game and a lovely chat with someone... in AMERICA.

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#186 - Solid Swans, Fridge The Ridge and Salve João

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 16:41:00 GMT

‘Love Actually’, ‘Ocean’s Eleven’, ‘Boogie Nights’, ‘Pulp Fiction’. These are considered to be some of the best ensembles of all time, but did any of them win ‘Best Ensemble’ at the Audio Production Awards? Answer: no. But this week Elis James and John Robins certainly did, which you could argue ranks them higher than any other ensemble that came before them. And how does an award winning ensemble celebrate such a victory? By bringing you top quality #content that money just can’t buy. There’s a shocking update on Producer Dave’s Coronation Street saga, a groundbreaking new feature is launched that gives YOU the chance to share your opinions with the nation and Elis discusses the new Beatles documentary in great length (much to John’s delight).

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#185 - Contentious Corrie, Dairy Eggs and Helpful Honks

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 16:48:00 GMT

It may be over a month until Christmas Day but Elis and John are more than happy to provide crackers - namely in the form of today’s show. Is that just a roundabout way of saying the guys were on top form? Yes. Will you be left disappointed? Absolutely not. Sporting their favourite band t-shirts because of 6 Music's #tshirtday (Beach Boys and Trevor Sensor respectively) the guys were joined by the person behind one of the most famous band logos of all time, there was a very nostalgic Made Up Game and John revealed that he’s going to be fulfilling a lifelong dream; fever dreams included.

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#184 - Totally Tom Toms, Blossoming Friendships and Oscar Whiskey Echo

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 17:17:00 GMT

As many of you will know Elis and John live their lives marching to the beat of their own drums, and in solidarity with Owain Wyn Evans during his 24 hour Drumathon the guys ventured up to Salford for their own drumming challenge. With the help of Joe Donovan from Blossoms they were put through their drumming paces, and were tasked with wielding their drum sticks LIVE on air. There were fills, there with trills, and there was even some untapped talent to be found. They also spoke to Owain as he entered his 6th hour of drumming, Elis channelled his inner Cornishman and John’s tachograph knowledge was validated.

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#183 - Chafing Challenges, Lager Sleeves and Convivial Ceilidhs

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 16:54:00 GMT

With John being absent from the show this week the venerable Lou Sanders joined Elis and Producer Dave in the studio to steady the ‘Good Ship 5 Live’; and there was so much fun to be had! In what was her hat-trick appearance on the show Lou revealed that she once invited Rick Edwards (the new co-host of 5 Live Breakfast) to a barn dance, Elis spoke on national radio for the first time since turning 41 years old, and to celebrate Bonfire Night an explosive Unsung Hero dropped by to tell us about her job - and it sounds like an absolute blast.

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#182 - Supersized Sieves, Hot Eggs and a Festival of Landfill

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 15:40:00 GMT

In what was a very wet and windy day in London today two broadcasters arrived at Broadcasting House soaked in not just rain; but badinage too. Yes, the guys returned to present live radio to the nation once more, and there was a sense of spookiness in the air (much to Elis’s annoyance). They looked ahead to Halloween by speaking to a pumpkin farmer, there's a Made Up Game featuring some familiar voices and we have an update on the #SaveJohn campaign. Plus, Producer Dave gives us a recap of his recent pub crawl… Music to John’s ears? Not quite!

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#181 - #SaveJohn, Pen Pilfering and Little Baby Dave

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

It might be hard to believe but Elis and John don’t spend every waking moment of their life creating cutting edge #content; sometimes they have other commitments to attend to, which is why this week’s show was pre-recorded so YOU don’t miss out on your EJJR fix. The guys are joined by James from the Office of National Statistics (easy for you to say) to talk about the sad decline in Johns, there’s an Unsung Hero familiar to millions of commuters, Dave details an upcoming pub crawl and a future voiceover superstar lends his voice to Ask John.

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#180 - Club Mid 40s, Double Deacy and Jimmy’s Clean Hands

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 16:45:00 GMT

“Anything is possible if you wish hard enough”, and it appears that John has been wishing his evenings away. Because today the guys were joined on the show by one of John’s dream dinner guests (the others being Freddie Mercury, John Deacon, Roger Taylor and Brian May): none other than cricketing legend Jimmy Anderson. Though Jimmy said he was unavailable to go for a pint after the show he did promise John that he’d try and work something out. Aside from John’s on-air gush-fest there was a very surprising result in today’s Made Up Game, Elis shared more Beatles excitement and Producer Dave detailed his reading difficulties.

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#179 - Tog Talk, Wee Sheets and a Scouse Spaceman

Fri, 08 Oct 2021 15:06:00 GMT

The boys are back in town; and by town we mean Broadcasting House, as this week the guys returned to their spiritual home after a short sabbatical at Maida Vale. Despite having to get up extra early for the show (Elis at 6am, Producer Dave at 5am and John at 8am) they were full of beans that were ready to be cooked and put onto #content toast. Elis crumbles during a Made Up Game, there’s an acapella jingle due to some technical difficulties and John gives us an insight into some of the more bizarre dreams that have been keeping him awake at night.

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#178 - The Maida Vale Sessions: Self Esteem

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 16:06:00 GMT

If you wander the fabled corridors of Maida Vale Studios you will walk past MV4: the studio where John Peel recorded his famous ‘Peel Sessions’, which is marked with a picture of the great presenter to celebrate his legacy. Just a few metres away is the now famous MV7, home to Elis and John’s Maida Vale Sessions. Though it is marked with a sign saying “Please wear ear protection during live sessions” and a portrait of James and Robins is absent it surely won’t be long until it is nicknamed “The Elis and John (and Producer Dave) Studio”.

To celebrate their final show at Maida Vale Self Esteem stopped by to talk about her new album and perform a song live in the studio, Dave dropped his hosting duties to take part in a Made Up Game for the first time EVER, the guys share one of the all-time great emails and Elis gets upset by a Beatles revelation.

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#177 - The Maida Vale Sessions: Sexy Gum Disease

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 16:07:00 GMT

Today marked the start of the Ryder Cup, and with his golf cap turned backwards and a livestream of the tournament in his eye line John really demonstrated his love for golf throughout the show whilst Elis and Producer Dave scrambled to keep things on track. Aside from that, the guys chat to Greg James (the most handsome man on Earth), there’s an Unsung Hero who saves lives on the seven seas, Elis crumbles during a Made Up Game and John shows his age by helping some Radio 1 listeners in a youth-orientated Ask John.

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#176 - Venturi Vagueness, Ambidextrous Pencils and John’s Missing Head

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 15:21:00 GMT

Poor old Robins. Not only did a misunderstanding lead to him having to broadcast from home, he also had to battle his way through a show whilst everything seemed hellbent on bringing him down. Thankfully Elis and Dave were on hand to keep him going which led to a (Mayor) humdinger of a show. Highlights include Paul McCartney texting into the show and a special trip to New York being planned by the guys. Low-lights include a caller telling John she knows he “does comedy” and Elis insulting everyone who has a tattoo.

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#175 - The Maida Vale Sessions: Cornetto Cleavage

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 16:52:00 GMT

Today, Elis and John made history: they became the first Anglo-Welsh double header radio show to broadcast LIVE from the legendary Maida Vale*.

Presenting from a studio which had once been occupied by music legends such as Queen, The Beatles, Joy Division and JLS, the guys kicked off their 4 week residency with an absolute corker of a show.

There’s an Unsung Hero (who incidentally is one of Elis’s actual heroes), tales of wasted time and a Made Up Game that goes right down to the wire.

*We can’t confirm whether they’re the first ever 5 Live show to broadcast from Maida Vale, so this is the best we can do.

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#174 - Bounty Balti, 3 Pint Cape and Inglese Dave

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 16:19:00 GMT

It’s been one hell of a week for Elis and John. Elis spent his time rediscovering his youth at a holiday park that’s definitely designed for young people, and John appeared on the pitch of a Test match. These experiences filled them vigour, and led to some of their most fluid broadcasting to date. John admits he respects some dogs, Producer Dave drops a hint that he’s in love with Elis, and one of the great thespians makes an appearance (via the medium of the man of 18 voices).

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#173 - Al Cook, Too Much Water and John's Small Holiday

Fri, 27 Aug 2021 15:35:00 GMT

With Elis sunning himself in tropical Bedfordshire, John was joined by friend of the show Lou Sanders! Amongst the fun, they played a fantastic grape-based Made Up Game suggested by 9-year-old Rosa, the tables turned on a regular feature as Ask John became Ask Lou, and we learned that John isn't the only sex symbol to enjoy two curries in one sitting. Enjoy...

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#172 - Belly Balance, Plate Winslet and Frozen Jackets

Fri, 20 Aug 2021 17:21:00 GMT

Amongst today's massive show revelations, we discovered that in some very specific circumstances, there are a number of non-domestic animals that Producer Dave can't touch, we found out that Elis doesn't know how to tell a story in the right order, and John bids farewell to his crusty armpits.

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#171 - Analogue Grapes, The Aberystwyth Problem and Matriarchal Meatballs

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 15:54:00 GMT

Today saw the return of Elis and John to their regular two hour slot - meaning you get an extra half hour of #content from the UK’s youngest broadcasters. It's the first time they've broadcast for two hours in 17 months, and waving goodbye to the 90 minute slot means Elis can no longer refer to the show exclusively using football analogies. There’s the return of two fan-favourite features, a musical-memory based Made Up Game, Elis makes an enemy out of Roy Keane and John offers advice on his favourite topic: service stations.

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#170 - Animatronic René, Playground Pentathlons and a Dhansak Ransack

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 16:55:00 GMT

The fastest people on Earth have been appearing at Tokyo 2020 over the past 2 weeks, so in celebration Elis and John decided to demonstrate their speed by flying through their usual amount of #content in 33% less time than they usually would. Yes, this is just a very roundabout way of telling you the guys were only on for an hour this week but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t plenty of fun to be had. They spoke to an explosive Unsung Hero, played a very feisty Made Up Game, and John’s best friend Brian May dropped by to talk about his exciting new project.

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#169 - A Fabia Farewell, Irate Initialisms and One Thousand Eggs

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 16:02:00 GMT

Despite the universe seemingly doing everything it could to keep Elis and John off-air today the guys powered through the pain and strife to bring #content to the masses (which is ironic given the power cut John experienced halfway through the show). Whilst broadcasting from their respective houses they waved goodbye to John’s beloved Skoda Fabia, spoke to a VERY important Olympic Unsung Hero and helped a listener with a passport problem.

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#168 - Crustacean Crimes, Sturdy Sick Bowls and Petrol Pump Peeves

Fri, 23 Jul 2021 15:38:00 GMT

Back in their usual slot of Friday afternoons on 5 Live like a comfy pair of slippers - but slippers capable of dishing out witty repartee and young, hip content - the chaps chatted to a fascinating Unsung Hero about new-build housing, Elis attempted to boycott today’s linguistic Made Up Game due to his poor attitude, and John talked listeners through how to cool your house in almost too much detail.

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#167 - European Sundays: The Cotmeister, Crying In The Quad and Tales With Tony

Sun, 18 Jul 2021 12:41:00 GMT

It was an emotional show today; not just because it was the final edition of Elis and John’s European Sundays, but also because John has found out he might have to bid farewell to his beloved 2004 Skoda Fabia. But in amongst the weeping there’s an Unsung Sporting Hero, a chat with an ACTUAL Team GB Olympian who’s about to make sporting history and a very special Sporting Shame Well. Auf wiedersehen!

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#166 - European Sundays: 11 Lions, The Wolf In The Lift and The Mathematics Of Hurt

Sun, 11 Jul 2021 12:40:00 GMT

Being tasked with representing the ‘voice of the fans” on the morning of England’s first appearance in a major men’s final is akin to being awarded an OBE for ‘Services To Chat’, and the recipients of that honour are none other than Elis James and John Robins. On the morning of the big game they speak to comedian Matt Forde and former Football Italia host James Richardson, there’s the final edition of George Egg’s Half Time Snack Hacks, and Producer Dave performs his latest piece of poetreh to commemorate the big day (as commissioned by himself).

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#165 - European Sundays: Dirty Dotun, A Robin For Robins and Bar Boxing Champions

Sun, 04 Jul 2021 13:21:00 GMT

If you thought the Euros was tense then just wait until you wrap your ears around this week’s podcast. The show could easily have been derailed but in a reversal of roles this time it was Elis and John holding things together. There’s the usual sporting #content, an improbable Vaseline claim and a chat with double Paralympic champion Libby Clegg and her running guide Chris Clarke.

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#164 - European Sundays: Elis James PLC, Stat Shame and Two Tickets To Toploader

Sun, 27 Jun 2021 12:19:00 GMT

After what can only be described as a 'difficult' 24 hours for the Welsh there were worries that Elis would be sighing his way through the show, but thankfully his ever dependent strike partner J. Robins picked him up and got him playing at his best. Steve 'The Crossman' Crossman drops by for a Made Up Game, there's an avian Unsung Sporting Hero and the guys hear from the 1980 North West Regional Angling Champion.

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#163 - Dermot's Threads, Youthful Eyes and "Remorse Makes A Home"

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 15:31:00 GMT

With football off the menu for one day Elis and John returned to their regular Friday slot, and what a return it was. John watched in dismay as Elis took steps to appear younger than he actually is (40) live on air, a former Unsung Hero gave an update on a mammoth challenge he's undertaking and Elis explained what he’d do if he ever got caught by the tabloids snogging another woman.

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#162 - European Sundays: Big Nev, Busy Beds and The National Calf Museum

Sun, 20 Jun 2021 12:45:00 GMT

The dust seems to be settling after the England vs Scotland game… But wait: Elis and John are here to kick up that dust into a tornado of top quality sporting #content. Elis attempts to name his all-time Wales XI, John tries to contain his anger after falling victim to fence vandalism, and there’s an unbelievable revelation from this week’s Sporting Unsung Hero.

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#161 - Stuart Braithwaite, Gruff Rhys and Emma Inch

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 15:14:00 GMT

In a change to regular programming the guys sat in for Nihal on his Tuesday afternoon show. It's a coveted slot, covering some of the hardest-hitting topics and news stories in the world today. So, naturally, Elis and John jumped head first into some serious radio journalism by talking about non-alcoholic beer, Wales at the Euros (2016 AND 2021) and post-rock music. Is there anything they can't do?

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#160 - European Sundays: Gala Days, Igor Chiles and Bland Crisps

Sun, 13 Jun 2021 13:17:00 GMT

Euros fever has hit the 5 Live schedule, and today marked the first edition of Elis and John's European Sundays. Despite early signs that Elis might broadcast with his head in his hands the guys pulled out a show for the history books. Fern Brady brought some much needed home nations balance, George Egg combined Ukrainian and Dutch food, and there was a Sporting Unsung Hero very much in John's wheelhouse.

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#159 - Swifty In Greenock, Boxing Gophers and Prosecco O’Clock

Fri, 11 Jun 2021 15:41:00 GMT

An absolute triumph of a show today, with potentially the best text topic of all time. Elis practised having a producer talk into his ear whilst broadcasting LIVE (he needs to work on it), John was blown away by a Brian Blessed anecdote, and Producer Dave declared his love for 'meaningless drivel quotes'.

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#158 - Shergar, Vanilla Ice & All Things Nice

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 15:59:00 GMT

Today marked Elis and John's 100th live show on 5 Live - despite many thinking they might not even make it into double figures - and to celebrate the occasion a celebratory 'beep' started going off in the studio during the show. Amongst the celebrations there was also an Unsung Hero for the history books, a Made-Up Game that went down to the wire and two special surprise guests.

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#157 - Faulty Fish Burgers, Elis’s Suit Strife and Handsome Greg James

Fri, 28 May 2021 16:35:00 GMT

John is starting to become 'The Boy Who Cried Sacked', because in today’s show he once again fired and rehired Producer Dave; except this time he did it TWICE. Also, Elis was on a high because he managed another plug for his BBC documentary on the history of Welsh football, but was quickly brought back down to Earth when he tried to give this week’s Petty Parliament caller a nickname.

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#156 - Downing Outlets, Elis’s Car (TM) and Owen Wilson Optimism

Fri, 21 May 2021 15:40:00 GMT

In today’s show John revealed his intercostal golfing injury, Elis discussed his upcoming BBC television project (which he’s allowed to talk about on air, much to John’s behest) and a lovely lollipop lady dropped by for this week’s Unsung Hero. And before you ask: yes, Dave really did know the number of Weatherspoon's in Greater Manchester.

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#155 - FA Cup Fabricators, 6am Dog Walkers and The Dangers of Turmeric

Fri, 14 May 2021 16:29:00 GMT

This week's show was one for the purists as it had a little bit of everything. There was some classic Elis (another one of his six funny voices), some classic John (tales of multiple anxiety dreams) and some classic Producer Dave (mentioning a Manchester club night ran by Clint Boon).

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#154 - Tip Talk, Japanese Bowling and The Key to Advertising

Fri, 07 May 2021 16:50:00 GMT

This week, John raises the roof with some remarkable rhymes, Elis continues to live without a fridge, and the chaps launch a brand new feature because they simply can't stop bleeding fresh, relevant #content.

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#153 - Fussy Fridges, Petroleum Pioneers and Bad Blowing

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 15:47:00 GMT

Today's Made Up Game has actual real-life props, Elis's 'funny voices' feature gets creepy, and John excuses himself from a Zoom call to go and have a cry on his bathroom floor. All the usual stuff, really. Enjoy!

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#152 - Hobmas Eve, Muted Weddings and BMI BS

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 16:04:00 GMT

After a tense start to proceedings because John couldn't successfully login to the BBC text system, things improved as the afternoon progressed with a fantastic 'funny voice' from Elis, a superb modern day Shame Well, and some startling health-based revelations from the company heart rate machine on the third floor of New Broadcasting House.

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#151 - Ridiculous Sting, Maud The Goat and Craven's Bingo

Fri, 16 Apr 2021 15:58:00 GMT

For the first time since 2020, James and Robins were back together in the studio, bringing relevant #content to the masses while looking each other square in the eye. The nod and winks were back, the spark of creativity was alive and well, and the sexual tension was once again through the roof. Although for balance, it must be reported that social distancing was observed at all times (ie. no snogging).

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#150 - The Isolation Tapes: Fin

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 15:30:00 GMT

After more than 12 months of lockdown #content it's finally the big day (not Elis's sister's birthday). The boys bid farewell to The Isolation Tapes in the only way they know how: by heading to the pub. And despite not having a drink together for over a year, it's only fitting that the conversation leads to hot topics such as life insurance policies and the weather.

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#149 - Kevin and the Bean… and Dave (Bonus #content)

Sat, 10 Apr 2021 13:00:00 GMT

Something a bit different today due to a change to the 5 Live schedule. John reveals his PRAM problems, Elis dreams about having a single idea, and Producer Dave finds out his twins share a birthday with one of the greatest left-backs of all time (spoiler: it’s not Neil Ashton).

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#148 - The Isolation Tapes: Dave’s Sexy Friends

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 16:01:00 GMT

In what will hopefully be the last episode from true isolation (they’ll be making the most of the pub garden for next week’s final Isolation Tape) the guys discuss the Papa Doble, John/Elis turning 40/41, and Producer Dave's over-indulgent Easter break.

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#147 - May Day, Hard Hats and Mediocre Britain

Fri, 02 Apr 2021 14:46:00 GMT

Aside from one slip of the tongue that is barely noticeable and a few messy interruptions here and there (proof if proof be need be that no one listens to Producer Dave), in and amongst the rough were some dazzling diamonds - namely a superb Unsung Hero, a top drawer Shame Well and a guest appearance from John’s best friend Brian May.

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#146 - The Isolation Tapes: Primed and Exfoliated

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 12:59:00 GMT

John & Elis keep getting told by friends' wives that they all fancy Producer Dave. However, John (38) has now seen Old Man Robins staring back in the mirror. But as a 21st century, boundary breaking man he's here to fight age and stereotypes with the power of tinted moisturiser and concealer.

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#145 - Finnish Frolicking, Census Sensibility and Naked Wakes

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 16:13:00 GMT

Today, we're joined by a surprise Ask John contributor, John is required to offer up a number of corrections and clarifications, and we're reminded why it's never wise to enter a new room naked.

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#144 - The Isolation Tapes: We All Have Opinions

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 06:00:00 GMT

This week the guys ponder “how far do you need to run before it stops getting sexy?”, and are lucky enough to once again be joined by the world record holder of the 8 mile run (Producer Dave).

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#143 - Insane Domains, Effusive Adrian and Futuristic Newsletters

Fri, 19 Mar 2021 16:34:00 GMT

Blink and you'll miss today's show, as the horses running around in circles meant the content juggernaut of Elis James and John Robins was reduced to just a one hour offering. But fear not! We make up the time by reading out a list of the many World Championship successes of the Soviet Union's Men's Ice Hockey team, chronologically and in full. Public Service Broadcasting is alive and well.

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#142 - The Isolation Tapes: Life Is First Boredom, Then Fear

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 11:25:00 GMT

Vintage stuff from Elis, John and Producer Dave today with all frequencies of the electromagnetic #content spectrum touched upon; namely John’s "bag of death", Elis’s aversion to improv warm-up games, and Dave’s upcoming jury duty.

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#141 - Feline Apertures, Big Toothpaste and Radio Robins

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 16:15:00 GMT

Today's Made Up Game features a heady and nostalgic mix of Mark Goodier, Ultra Naté and Dina Carroll, we're interrupted with pleasant award-winning news, and there's some dubious advice offered up around the use of WD40 on your car windscreen, which should act as a timely reminder to never ever take what's said on this show as gospel. EVER. Enjoy.

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#140 - The Isolation Tapes: Elis's Sister's Birthday

Wed, 10 Mar 2021 15:28:00 GMT

Set a reminder for April 12th. Not because pub gardens reopen, but because it’s Elis’s sister's birthday and he’s on a one man mission to make sure the whole world knows about it. Also, if anyone from the team at Desert Island Discs is listening then do get in touch; John has all his songs chosen, he’s just finalising his luxury item (is a full sized pub allowed?).

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#139 - Foreign Trees, Elusive Elis and Two Dozen Spices

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 17:06:00 GMT

After John finished a pen (a feat Elis claimed could never be achieved), graphologist Tracey took it upon herself to analyse the lads' handwriting. Her findings were eerily accurate. Elsewhere, we chat to the textbook definition of an Unsung Hero, Elis decides he doesn't need his microphone anymore, and John cries at his car's mileage again.

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#138 - The Isolation Tapes: Perilous Pickles

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 11:06:00 GMT

Hypothetically, if you were dared to eat a deathly chilli pickle would you continue to eat the whole jar at your own behest? No? Well John did, and the words 'reaping' and 'sowing' now spring to mind.

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#137 - Market Stall Magic, Destructive Shuttlecocks and First Time Flukes

Fri, 26 Feb 2021 16:55:00 GMT

As Elis and John continue to bring A-grade content to the masses from their respective homes, it's now widely accepted that the internet issues that plague Elis's connectivity are actually providing him with a fraught edge that you just can't replicate in the safe and secure surroundings of New Broadcasting House. So, although we lose our Welsh counterpart every once in a while, when we ARE hearing him loud and clear, well, what an incredible talent we have on our hands.

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#136 - The Isolation Tapes: Mr Rotovator

Wed, 24 Feb 2021 14:14:00 GMT

The lads discuss if Elis has what it takes to play League 1 football, if John could scale El Capitan (after six cans and with no extra training), and if Dave should do his gardening topless or bottomless.

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#135 - 40 Cats, Conwy Crossbars and Detective James

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 16:53:00 GMT

Today, discussion turns to Elis becoming a hypothetical Hollywood superstar, John's professional diligence, and the pitfalls of the phonetic alphabet.

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#134 - The Isolation Tapes: Elis James’ Circuit Digs

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 06:00:00 GMT

Love is well and truly in the air this week as Elis flirts with the idea of becoming an archaeologist, and the boys discuss Dave’s “blue” Valentine's Day card (it has nothing to do with Manchester City).

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#133 - Patriotic Milk, Oche Orators and Scores On The Pause

Fri, 12 Feb 2021 17:02:00 GMT

This week, we find out whether Elis's snoring is crippling his love life, we have a strong contender for the best Made Up Game of the year so far, and much to the dismay of his Celtic co-host, John questions the integrity of BBC Wales.

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#132 - The Isolation Tapes: John’s Pipe Vigil

Wed, 10 Feb 2021 18:31:00 GMT

Dismantling a buggy. An emergency phone call. A 20kg low-alcohol lager delivery. Just three of the high-octane interruptions that threatened to derail this week's episode. Naked numismatists also make an appearance. Which is nice.

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#131 - Bleeding Coins, Llantrisant Burns and Chargeable Spitfires

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 17:06:00 GMT

On today's show, Elis really gets behind his lifelong love of diesel, John bores a coin expert to death by talking about coins, and we all enjoy a Made Up Game called 'Things In Things'.

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#130 - The Isolation Tapes: The Naked Coin Collector

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 09:58:00 GMT

Elis and John discuss selling out (their stance is far less militant than Fugazi's). Also, are you struggling to get rid of your Christmas tree? Just wait for someone "knocking about" to come and collect it.

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#129 - Redd Pepper, Killer Calamities, and Amusing Muse Musings

Fri, 29 Jan 2021 17:53:00 GMT

A semblance of order was thankfully restored to on air proceedings as Producer Dave's hand remained firm and steady on the 5 Live tiller. If anything, this week's gaffs came courtesy of Messrs James and Robins as their musical credentials were thrown into disrepute during a brilliant Made Up Game. Elsewhere, John flexes his tax muscles with the HMRC and Elis astounds us with some top notch equine improv. Giddy up.

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#128 - The Isolation Tapes: Ode to the 90s and 00s

Wed, 27 Jan 2021 08:42:00 GMT

There's an awful lot of love for the past today. Specifically for the decade when music finished (the 90s), student gigs and the days of misspent youth, as both Elis and John dream of returning to university.

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#127 - 'I Have Lost Output'

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 17:54:00 GMT

As slick, competent broadcasts go, today's show won't be bothering any end-of-year award ceremonies. With cut audio and overlooked emails just two lowlights of the programme, it's fair to say Producer Dave will have his head in his hands for some time. Still, good news about the fantastic Made Up Game.

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#126 - The Isolation Tapes: Soft John

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 18:19:00 GMT

A busy hunk of pure intense chat this week, with seamless traversing of the timeless topics of the CIA, smells and getting kicked in the knackers. Also expect sweet tales of fatherhood and Elis laying into John for frankly little discernible reason.

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#125 - Dictionary Fawners, Mean Averages and a Penchant for Purple

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 17:37:00 GMT

Week two under the new tri-simulcast regime, and the boys are flying as they broadcast from their respective lounges and open wardrobes. Ulcer obliteration, homeschooling hacks and the plight of the education system all get a run out in what will certainly go down as a 'top-50' level show. Enjoy!

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#124 – The Isolation Tapes: Between Wonnacott and Gooch

Thu, 14 Jan 2021 06:00:00 GMT

The boys are encapsulating two different aspects of the UK population's gamut of lockdown problems.

In Casa del James the issues are of the practical home-schooling variety.

In Robins towers the river to navigate is far more existential. So expect childcare stress chat from Elis, and from John rumination on what gives him purpose in life.

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#123 - The Isolation Tapes: Booze Banishment & Beauty Sleep

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 06:00:00 GMT

The lads return to keep you company throughout Lockdown 3.

It's non-stop non-action in the Robins and James households, but they're full of public service advice on quitting booze and going to bed at 7pm.

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#122 - Glitchy Daleks, Sky High Plaques and Domestic Printing

Fri, 08 Jan 2021 19:18:00 GMT

In what was most certainly a radio first (it probably wasn't), Elis, John and Producer tri-simulcast from Bucks, South London and Salford as the chaps went LIVE for the first time from their respective homes.

Was it a looser show than usual? Sure. Did the unpredictable performance of Elis's WIFI network create an air of edgy tension for the entire 90 minute broadcast? Maybe. Was it still top quallo #content. You betcha! After all, who doesn't want to hear a professional broadcaster blow their nose over the intro of David Bowie's 'Let's Dance'? Enjoy the chaos.

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#121 - Elis and John's New Year's Day Nuggets

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 14:30:00 GMT

Elis and John look back over their favourite show moments from 2020. Including a day that John describes as 'the great betrayal,' a tense Made Up Game and a toe curling Shame Well. Happy New Year!

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#120 - Elis and John's Christmas #Content

Fri, 25 Dec 2020 09:00:00 GMT

Hitting digital terrestrial airwaves on Christmas Morning, Elis and John bring you a very special show jam-packed with Christmas Content. Expect present swapping, an Unsung Hero from the North Pole, a festive and calorific Made Up Game, and Producer Dave's 'Big Christmas Poem'. Merry Christmas one and all!

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#119 - Brian May, Plaque Chat and Poetreh

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 16:37:00 GMT

Elis and John chat to Queen legend, Brian May! Or, to rephrase, John chats to Brian May while Elis patiently listens. Elsewhere, some secondary school pupils have a poetic surprise for Producer Dave, and today’s Made Up Game comes with an accompanying spreadsheet that will win awards. Enjoy!

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#118 - Overstated Groins, Toddler Tax and Bums

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 16:38:00 GMT

A show derailed by backsides, Elis and John try to keep up with a flurry of correspondence focused solely on celebrity derrières and how many we’ve 'collected'.

There’s some normal show stuff, too.

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#117 - Sackable Tardiness, Naked Nicholas Witchell and Bare Naked Shame

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 16:18:00 GMT

After arriving 12 minutes late for today’s show preparation, this may well be Elis’s final show on 5 Live, as John makes it his number one priority to get him disciplined/fired. Elsewhere, a man talks about inventing ATMs. It’s all go.

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#116 - The Isolashion Tapes: Canadian Caners

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 09:56:00 GMT

As we bid adieu to the current series of Isolation Tapes, the team enjoy a couple of looseners as Elis and John partake in a very tense game of 'Flagulate'.

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#115 - Jayne Torvill, Petrol Pandemonium and Broadsheet Snogs

Fri, 27 Nov 2020 16:20:00 GMT

Once again proving why this show isn't part of the BBC's news quota, Elis and John discuss what modern petrol gauges represent, how you practised kissing when you were younger and why the TV programme Catchphrase isn't edgier. It's the kind of high-brow content Emma Barnett WISHES she'd thought up.

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#114 - The Isolation Tapes: 'We're not actually putting this out, are we?'

Wed, 25 Nov 2020 06:00:00 GMT

Elis and John return for another instalment of The Isolation Tapes as John takes on the greatest challenge of his life - naming every country in the world from memory. Can he do it? Does Producer Dave have a robust marking system in place? Will it make good radio? And more importantly, what will Elis do during this 15 minute challenge? Listen to find out.

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#113 - Razz Ennui, Bedside Spanners and the BBC Away Day

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 16:39:00 GMT

Elis and John return with more accessible anecdotal content, intricately designed to actively engage with the BBC's much-sought-after under-35 demographic whilst successfully retaining 5 Live's older more traditional listenership. It's a podcast description as old as time.

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#112 - The Isolation Tapes: Knee ops and jockstraps

Wed, 18 Nov 2020 06:00:00 GMT

The chaps return for more isolated 'waffle' (John's words) as Dave delivers a blow-by-blow account of his recent vasectomy, John weighs up his career options and Elis boasts about his incredible post-ride recovery time.

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#111 - Loocations, Tricky Tech and Unproducable Agreements

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 17:09:00 GMT

This week, it’s the build up to 'the snip' for Producer Dave, John demonstrates just how blummin' easy the rules of golf are to follow, and Elis offers a ‘come get me’ plea to the producers of 'I'm A Celeb...'

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#110 - The Isolation Tapes: The band are back apart

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 06:00:00 GMT

With tighter restrictions in place across parts of the UK, Elis, John & Producer Dave once again come together from their respective abodes to offer some company and conversation.

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#109 - Old Man Elis, Elis is 40 and Elis’s Fifth Decade

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 16:26:00 GMT

On today’s show, John is keen to remind everyone that Elis is much older than he is, our Unsung Hero is a bike-riding bread-wielding icon, and despite many warnings to steer clear, the chaps give a surprising amount of air time to the US election.

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#108 - Big Food, Vigorous Crushes and Tech Shame

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 17:06:00 GMT

A busy show with surprises around every corner, Elis and John are joined by a somewhat morbid Unsung Hero, worldwide geography proves vital for today’s Made Up Game, and we talk massive food.

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#107 - Synonymphonies, Eternal Eyesight and Dave's Accessible Poetry

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 15:30:00 GMT

It was a jam packed show with Elis and John! We spoke to the inventor of the Rubik's Cube, discussed the times you met a celebrity and were oblivious to them and played a competitive Made Up Game. Enjoy!

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#106 - Laughable Hair, Aggy Anchovies and 5-Minute Snogs

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 15:58:00 GMT

Join Elis and John for an Unsung Hero living life in the fast lane, a very sexy anecdote around Elis's discovery of the magnificent BBC Sounds, and a few timely appearances from your friend and mine, Billy Balance. Enjoy!

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#105 - Wake Up Sheeple and Smell The Beef!

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 13:30:00 GMT

John talks us through his wine Hall of Fame, Elis takes full advantage of his 'home advantage' in Made up Games, and the wonderful Kerry Godliman pops by for a chat about the 'billion projects' she's working on.

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#104 - Gateway Golf, Mag Fame and Frequent Invigoration

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 15:31:00 GMT

In a rare reversal of moods, John was the one with the pep in his step today, whereas Elis was stressed through having 'a lot on'. Nevertheless, it was another belter of a show with Marie Rose sauce garnering an unusual amount of on air coverage and a Made Up Game based on HMRC coming under close scrutiny.

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#103 - Freedom You Can Trust, Synonyms and John's Canadian Brain

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 15:54:00 GMT

The chaps are joined by an Unsung Hero that Elis falls in love with, John offers more wayward opinions disguised loosely as facts (this time around the size of Canada), and friend and comedian Rob Rouse talks high vehicle mileage which is sure to get the Under 35s flocking to the podcast in their droves.

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#102 - Cistern Fear, Tommy Tabasco and Geo-Political Balance

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 15:58:00 GMT

Elis and John find unexpected joy in dealing in stone cold fact, Neil Diamond divides listener opinion and homemade guac comes in for a real hammering.

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#101 - Feudal Britain, Bookshop Shame and Overwhelming Sounds

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 16:14:00 GMT

Today’s Unsung Hero is right up John’s golfing street, Elis gets edgy with 14th century Britain, and it transpires Tuffers is living everyone’s dream inside the cricketing bio bubble.

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#100 - Salty Balance, WAFTAs and Upside Down Agreements

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 17:15:00 GMT

On today’s centurion episode, Elis and John ask about the times you’ve broken into your own property, the debate rages around mineral water, and John takes the law into his own hands.

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#99 - Micro Pigs, Rude Rugby and Le Great Yarmouth

Fri, 28 Aug 2020 17:46:00 GMT

With backroom production staff dropping like flies, show vibes were a little looser than usual today. Still, what is live radio if backs aren't firmly against the wall for the entirety of the broadcast? Enjoy the chaos.

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#98 - Viral Quiche, The Love of Lyndhurst and Haterz Gonna Hate

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 15:29:00 GMT

After a week away, Elis is back and he’s brimming with award-winning ideas. Elsewhere, the chaps pitch new sport 'Catch' to the Director of Sport at the IOC, our Unsung Hero is a daytime TV genius and it turns out American geography isn’t a strong point for either presenter, as today’s Made Up Game proves.

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#97 - Lou Sanders, Herts Holidays and John’s Greedy Palms

Fri, 14 Aug 2020 15:19:00 GMT

With Elis holidaying in Berkhamsted, the wonderful Lou Sanders joined John on the show today! Will she do Elis proud in today’s Made Up Game? Can she successfully read John’s palm? And crucially, will she know when the mics are on and when they’re off (the answer is no). Enjoy!

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#96 - Erotic Traffic, Half Cut Barbers and Catch

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 16:15:00 GMT

Elis and John are joined by a fantastic Unsung Hero who adorned a record-breaking album cover from the mid noughties, today's Shame Well is excruciating, and Elis invents a new sport called Catch.

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#95 - Van Life, D:Ream Black Holes and Bare TMS

Fri, 31 Jul 2020 15:26:00 GMT

Today, Elis and John are joined by intimacy coordinator Ita O'Brien as today's Unsung Hero, another Made Up Game is thrown into disarray, and Elis enters a new spiritual age, apparently.

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#94 - Projects, Patios and A Horse Walks Into A Bar

Fri, 24 Jul 2020 15:47:00 GMT

This week with Elis James and John Robins, Q Magazine editor Ted Kessler is on the show to talk about the sad demise of the publication, we ask for tales of your many unfinished projects, and we discover that Elis’s website perhaps needs a little spruce up.

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#93 - Bravo Sierra, Upside Down Ducks and Edible Ailments

Fri, 17 Jul 2020 15:34:00 GMT

Join Elis and John for new feature Ask John, nearly new feature Edgy Elis, and very old feature Made Up Games. Plus, today’s topic is all about ‘when kids ruin things’. All this and more from Britain’s trendiest broadcasters.

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#92 - Skirting Boards, Edgy Elis and Squeaky Bonnie Tyler

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 15:29:00 GMT

What better way to return to live radio for the first time in months than by talking to Royal Mail’s Stamp Strategy Manager. Aside from this huge exclusive, Elis gets edgy, John discusses extractor fans and today’s Made Up Game is as chaotic as ever. It’s good to be back!

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#91 - The Isolation Tapes: 177,000 miles on the nose

Wed, 08 Jul 2020 10:14:00 GMT

As lockdown continues to ease, Elis and John conclude The Isolation Tapes with a socially distant rendezvous.

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#90 - Dead Pigeons, 50-Metre Walks and the Love of Lindt

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Join Elis and John for a big interview with Jason Manford, a special culinary surprise for John, and a fantastic guest in former comedian Teresa Coyne.

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#89 - The Isolation Tapes: How has our podcast become this?

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 04:30:00 GMT

John helps Elis figure out what his new hobby should be and Producer Jess and Elis are gob smacked with John's toaster fact.

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#88 - Base Gravy, French Shame and Dave's Big Joke

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins are back with fellow comedian and author Jen Brister on to talk about what it's like surviving in lockdown once your whole tour is cancelled! The chaps are also after your newfound Lockdown Skills, this week's Shame Well takes place in France and is another cringeworthy masterpiece. Plus, can Elis make it 10 wins in a row in regular feature Made Up Games?

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#87 - The Isolation Tapes: Chris Packham’s Rabbit Affray

Wed, 24 Jun 2020 08:11:00 GMT

It's a roller coaster of an episode! Beer shopping stresses, cycling across America, Chris Packham joins us, sexy virtual reality running and defrosting food.

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#86 - Well Dimensions, Crap Mountains and Dave's Hot Meat

Fri, 19 Jun 2020 13:30:00 GMT

The boys are joined by rising star Arlo Parks and Charlatans frontman Tim Burgess to talk about virtual online gigs, listening parties and 'being the youngest people alive'.

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#85 - The Isolation Tapes: Hares and Rabbits - The Conclusion

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:19:00 GMT

After countless emails and lengthy discussions, Elis and John finally have the answer to the ongoing question - would a hare and rabbit be friends?

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#84 - Richard Osman, Sexy Silence and John's Rubbish Book

Fri, 12 Jun 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Elis and John are joined by the presenter and novelist Richard Osman. Records are broken in Made Up Games, James Cracknell enters the Shame Well, and friend of the show Tan France gives his verdict on John's new alice band.

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#83 - The Isolation Tapes: Life is a Roller Coaster of Vibes

Wed, 10 Jun 2020 16:28:00 GMT

Elis and John discuss how John would fit into a boyband and Producer Dave gives us a great tip if you're struggling to get to sleep.

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#82 - Alice Bands, Matt Forde and John's Annual Thicko Tax

Fri, 05 Jun 2020 13:30:00 GMT

This week, John tries to fix a laptop with a golf tee, Elis showcases a completely pointless skill, and guest Matt Forde explains what it was like to walk outside for the first time in 12 weeks.

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#81 - The very best of the #BonusContent (with Sarah Millican)

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 14:56:00 GMT

As Elis and John attempted to fulfil their contractual obligation of delivering an ambitious number of podcasts in a matter of weeks, friend of the show Sarah Millican guides us through the highs, lows and mediums of Elis and John's #BonusContent.

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#80 - The Big Birthday Bonanza

Fri, 29 May 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Elis and John celebrate one year on BBC Radio 5 Live with some amazing surprise guests that render both presenters speechless.

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#79 - The Isolation Tapes: Yoga Pranks

Thu, 28 May 2020 04:45:00 GMT

We've heard all about John's yoga journey but this week we hear about Elis' experience. John gives us an update on their overly ambitious contractual obligation to produce podcasts, and thoughts turn to fake tan and supermarket techniques.

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#78 - The Isolation Tapes: A rare case of nostalgitis

Tue, 26 May 2020 11:20:00 GMT

In today's Isolation Tape, Elis feigns illness to justify his recent performances and John reads more of your emails.

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#77 - Basics, Basics, Fundamentals

Fri, 22 May 2020 13:30:00 GMT

In no real change to usual proceedings, John isn't happy with this week's Made Up Game, Jon Richardson says hello from his home made pub to talk about his new podcast, and the chaps get some much-needed professional advice on their out of control barnets. Enjoy!

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#76 - The Isolation Tapes: The Judgemental DIY Guy

Thu, 21 May 2020 04:45:00 GMT

Elis tells us about a story that tugged at his heart strings and a listener's email leads them to talking about, your friend and mine, the service station.

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#75 - The Isolation Tapes: Pedantic Notes

Tue, 19 May 2020 10:44:00 GMT

John tells us about something annoying he found on his car, Producer Dave talks boozy jogging and a listener sends in a great story about Liam Gallagher.

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#74 - Soggy Flares, Suzi Ruffell and Snoop Dogg's Sideline

Fri, 15 May 2020 13:30:00 GMT

This week, John takes up Yoga, the Falklands / Faroes controversy continues to rage, and the brilliant Suzi Ruffell pops by - virtually - for a chat.

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#73 - The Isolation Tapes: Half Man Half Biscuit

Thu, 14 May 2020 14:27:00 GMT

John talks us through his new musical discovery, we discover a new way to spice up our daily walks and a listener provides us with a conundrum which left us scratching our heads.

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#72 The Isolation Tapes: Canageddon

Tue, 12 May 2020 15:00:00 GMT

The boys have started watching the TV show 'Normal People' and have some thoughts on the steamy scenes. Plus, they reminisce about those house parties we threw as teenagers.

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#71 - Edible Loveplay, Adorable Sneezing and Sarah Millican

Fri, 08 May 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Bringing the laughs over a passable video conferencing system and some shaky broadband, Elis and John are joined by the wonderful Sarah Millican.

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#70 - The Isolation Tapes: John's Lockdown Birthday

Wed, 06 May 2020 07:53:00 GMT

It's John's Lockdown Birthday! We give him a little surprise and discuss his new-found fashion sense.

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#69 - Elis doesn't know where the Falkland Islands are

Fri, 01 May 2020 13:30:00 GMT

The chaps are joined by special guests Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett, Elis tries to bribe Producer Dave over a catastrophic geographical faux pas, and John falls in love with our Unsung Hero.

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#68 - The Isolation Tapes: 50,000 Johns and Lou Sanders

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 04:45:00 GMT

Elis and John discuss their dream festival line-up and we're joined by Lou Sanders!

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#67 - The Isolation Tapes: Movie Blunders: The Movie

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 15:53:00 GMT

Elis and John read out some emails from frontline workers and things getting heated between them when discussing Elton John.

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#66 - The Isolation Tapes: Backstreet Bakers

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 04:50:00 GMT

As we enter our sixth week in lockdown, Elis and John read your emails and thoughts turn to what we'll do when the lockdown is lifted.

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#65 - Brummie Shakespeare and James Acaster

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 13:25:00 GMT

Elis and John are here to provide some much needed laughs. James Acaster joins us to talk about his lockdown experience and podcast series Perfect Sounds, and we get a pretty dark Shame Well. Enjoy!

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#64 - The Isolation Tapes: A Mechanical Hug

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 04:45:00 GMT

This week thoughts turn to Velcro walls and we get an email from friend of the show Sarah Millican.

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#63 - The Isolation Tapes: Blank Canvas Robins

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 04:45:00 GMT

Elis and John read out your emails, discuss virtual dating and your friend and mine... the tree.

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#62 - Better than The Ashes

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins fill your Friday afternoons with big laughs and top quality #content. Producer Dave tells us about welcoming his twins into the world and we play a very tense Made Up Game. Enjoy!

Plus download Elis and John's Isolation Tapes podcast on BBC Sounds.

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#61 - The Isolation Tapes: Having A Big Cry

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Elis and John read out your emails, thoughts turn to having a big cry and there's an update with John's hay fever journey.

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#60 - The Isolation Tapes: Johnny Two Sheds

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 04:45:00 GMT

Elis, John and Producer Dave read through your emails and discuss shed consolidation and John's new exercise regime.

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#59 - Hands Hands Hands

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Elis and John bring you more fun from a safe social distance. Elis crumbles under pressure, John talks us through his meticulous PR campaign strategy, and today's Shame Well will make you want to run into the sea. Enjoy!

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#58 - The Isolation Tapes: Crying in the Urinals

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 04:45:00 GMT

As Elis, John and Producer Dave start to really settle into their lockdown life they get an email which ruffles some feathers.

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#57 - The Isolation Tapes: Little Lord Fauntleroy's Blue Tick Wallpaper

Tue, 07 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

As social distancing continues, Elis, John and Producer Dave's thoughts turn to lockdown facial hair and which internet browser James Bond would use.

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#56 - Isolation Vents, Exciting Mortgage Emails and John Deacon Masks

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 13:30:00 GMT

Broadcasting from their respective homes, Elis and John use a couple of USB mics, a serviceable internet connection and some top quality video conferencing software to bring you more much-needed laughs.

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#55 - The Isolation Tapes: James Dean didn’t get hay fever, did he?

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 04:30:00 GMT

As we all settle into our new environs and routines, Elis, John and Producer Dave discuss gone off wine, superfluous soil and parsnips going through puberty.

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#54 - The Isolation Tapes: Crows and Crohn's

Sun, 29 Mar 2020 04:45:00 GMT

As the social distancing continues Elis and John bring some relief from their 'Isolation Pods' from the three corners of the UK. Well, Stockport, Crystal Palace and Hampshire.

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#53 - Hull4Heroes, Merkel's House Party and 800 kilos of Soil

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 15:19:00 GMT

As we all remain socially distant, Elis and John bring you another fantastic Unsung Hero that pulls on all the heartstrings, John's had a golf course built for him whilst in isolation, and Elis goes to great lengths for that all-important vitamin D.

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#52 - The Isolation Tapes: Clever old Dagda

Wed, 25 Mar 2020 05:45:00 GMT

As Elis, John and Producer Dave continue to remain socially distant, thoughts inevitably turn to pubs, darts and strategically placed awards. #elisandjohn

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#51 - The Isolation Tapes: Clock on, clock off

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 05:45:00 GMT

Recorded across the UK in Crystal Palace (Elis), Amersham (John) and Stockport (Producer Dave), enjoy the first instalment of Elis and John’s Isolation Tapes. More to follow!

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#50 - Clean Gin, The Good Deed Feed and Keegan's Great Speech

Sun, 22 Mar 2020 22:00:00 GMT

Recorded in three bedrooms in Crystal Palace, Amersham and Stockport, Elis, John and Producer Dave try their best to offer some light relief in these tricky times. Expect a huge question from John, an absolute legend of an Unsung Hero and a whole lot of controversy in Made Up Games.

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#49 - The Driving Range (Bonus #content)

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 05:30:00 GMT

He’s tackled crazy golf, but with the expert coaching skills of John, can Elis hit a proper ball with a proper club at the driving range?

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#48 - Tasty Sanitisers, Mistaken Drug Mules and Eating Eggs Forever

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 05:30:00 GMT

With the Cheltenham Gold Cup taking them off the air for a week, Elis and John bring you a special ‘podcast-only’ version of their usual Friday afternoon show, with regular features including John's Shame Well and Made Up Games.

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#47 - Board Games (Bonus #content)

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 05:30:00 GMT

To fulfil their contractual obligation, Elis James and John Robins are releasing a number of bonus podcasts - this time we visit a board games cafe.

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#46a - Retired Golf Pros, Snooker Cues and West Country Larkin

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 16:30:00 GMT

Welcome to a loose and lively edition of Elis James and John Robins. Today, we learn that Elis is enjoying a midlife crisis, John can't transfer large files between phone and computer because he's 'dim', and we all appreciate a lovely Made Up Game based on the UK's finest rivers.

Please note, due to gremlins in the system, this is part 1 of 2 of episode #46. Part 2 of 2 is now also available. It's all very confusing.

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#46b - Retired Golf Pros, Snooker Cues and West Country Larkin

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 13:05:00 GMT

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#45 - Producer Dave’s Guide to Manchester (Bonus #Content)

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 05:30:00 GMT

Elis and John continue to rattle through their obligatory bonus podcasts with a somewhat underwhelming guided tour of Manchester from Producer Dave.

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#44 - Blunderstorms, Cryptic Crosswords and John's 2012 Rebrand

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 16:46:00 GMT

You join us in the midst of a Twitter storm, as a video clip of Elis kicking a ball at a 7-year old's groin threatens to spread like wildfire. Luckily, the kid is fine, the parents couldn't give an S, and seven days after the incident, Elis is nearly able to sleep again. All's well that ends well! Enjoy the podcast.

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#43 - Chesham United Commentary (Bonus #Content)

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 05:30:00 GMT

So as not to renege on their contract, Elis James and John Robins don their sheepskin coats and head to north west London to commentate on Chesham United v Gosport Borough.

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#42 - Quiz Controversies, Cake Drawing and The Dan Walker Masterclass

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 17:05:00 GMT

Live and loose from Salford this week, Elis and John bring you another belter of a show as today's Made Up Game ruffles a few feathers, the boys discuss the controversies surrounding pub quizzes and we all celebrate the peerless genius of everyone's favourite app - BBC Sounds.

#content.

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#41 - Escape Room (Bonus #content)

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 05:45:00 GMT

To fulfil their contractual obligation, Elis James and John Robins are releasing a number of bonus podcasts - after a lot of stress, we present to you....The Escape Room episode!

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#40 - Harry Potter Jobsworths, Alex Horne and The Want of Prince

Fri, 14 Feb 2020 17:51:00 GMT

The big four-oh sees John embarrassed by his full-time fiancée on Valentine's Day, comedian Alex Horne jumps on the Chesham bandwagon and our Unsung Hero is an absolute belter.

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#39 - Bowling (Bonus #content)

Wed, 12 Feb 2020 05:45:00 GMT

To fulfil their contractual obligation, Elis James and John Robins are now hurriedly releasing a number of bonus podcasts - including them hitting the lanes for a game of bowling.

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#38 - Content Corruption, Commentary and Ken Clarke's Curryhouse

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 16:44:00 GMT

Producer Dave shares his shame of 'losing' three podcast recordings, the boys are invited down to Chesham FC for a spot of punditry, and we're joined by a Teletubby. Enjoy!

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#37 - Crazy Golf (Bonus #Content)

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 05:30:00 GMT

So as not to renege on their contract, Elis James and John Robins are now hurriedly releasing a number of bonus podcasts, as the race is on to hit their pre-agreed target (a target that, in hindsight, was ambitious at best). For today's contractual obligation, the boys enjoy a round of Crazy Golf.

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#36 - Fingers On Pies, Whatsapp Fails and Bubble Bath Decadence

Fri, 31 Jan 2020 16:53:00 GMT

During today's episode, Elis reveals himself as a terrible parent, we say hello to a great Unsung Hero, and we learn that John knows very little about the Spice Girls. Enjoy!

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#35 - Peak Times, Chippy Tunes and The Viscount of Value

Fri, 24 Jan 2020 16:48:00 GMT

In this very special episode, we're joined by a hero in these parts - Martin Lewis! Elsewhere, we enjoy some millennial slang in today's Made Up Game and we learn all about Simon Mayo's repeat fees.

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#34 - Elis's Ginormous Lev, Dirty Shame and Boots Trolley Dashes

Fri, 17 Jan 2020 16:46:00 GMT

A-grade badinage this week, as Elis and John guide you through shame, games and - after Elis was invited onto Pointless Celebrities without John - a whole load of division. Embrace the tension, and enjoy offering 34!

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#33 - Adrian’s Fat Tongue, Mind Scenarios and Football Stickers

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 17:01:00 GMT

It’s another fun filled Friday with Elis and John! We delved deep into The Shame Well and this week's story involved football stickers. Elis told us how he wants to step back from having an opinion on everything and John introduces us to his mind scenario. Enjoy!

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#32 - Topless Cooking, London Buses and Andy Zaltzman

Fri, 03 Jan 2020 16:43:00 GMT

Welcome to show one of 2020 for Elis James and John Robins! Amongst all the usual fun, the boys play a Made Up Game that - in Producer Dave's words - was perhaps a little too tense, cricket satirist and statistician Andy Zaltzman pops in for a chat, and there's every possibly that Elis's Christmas was even bleaker than John's. Dig in.

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#31 - Elis and John's Christmas Crackers

Thu, 26 Dec 2019 00:01:00 GMT

As a fun year draws to a close, sit back, pour yourself another Advocaat, and relive some of Elis and John's choice cuts from the last six months on 5 Live, with lots of brand new #content thrown in for good measure. See you in 2020!

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#30 - Russell Howard, Willy Warmers and Elis's Chunky Bum - Live From The Pub!

Fri, 20 Dec 2019 17:46:00 GMT

Fun and games galore as Elis and John see out the year from a London boozer in front of a live audience. A perfect end to a fantastic six months on 5 Live.

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#29 - A Generic Central London Christmas Market (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

With the boys not on the actual radio this week, they've excitedly scurried off to one of the capital's popular festive landmarks. Darts, mulled wine and velcro hammers are all big talking points over this 40-minute slice of bonus badinage.

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#28 - Medieval Sword Fighting, Keith Floyd and Dim Sheep

Fri, 06 Dec 2019 17:14:00 GMT

Taking ‘live and loose’ to new levels, the ‘Enfant Terrible’ are back and badder than ever! In other words, it’s a fun show, which will raise a smile. Enjoy!

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#27 - Coins, New Kids On The Block and Al Murray’s Sausage Roll

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 17:23:00 GMT

Take a tired Elis James, add an ill John Robins, and weirdly, you get a blummin' great show. Expect S of the P stuff, along with all the usual features including Shame Well, a belting Made Up Game and a fascinating Unsung Hero. Enjoy! #content.

Hilarious, warm and unashamedly ashamed, their award-winning chemistry will get you over the finish line of the working week.

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#26 - Alignment Meetings, The Golden Age of Welsh Football and Stormzy

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 16:42:00 GMT

This week Elis basks in the glory of Wales's Euro success, John sails close to the general election wind, and we welcome a Glastonbury-related Unsung Hero onto the show. Enjoy!

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#25 - Boozy Cruisey, Carbon Neutral Mind Holidays and the Art of the Pre-Record

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 17:33:00 GMT

Welcome to the 25th instalment of EJ&JR on BBCR5L! Where does the time go? This week, we play a Made Up Game that has its own jingle, a Queen-based game goes wrong, and Producer Dave has some big news.

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#24 - Colons, Boilers and the North South Divide

Fri, 08 Nov 2019 16:32:00 GMT

Separated by 200 miles, but united through great chat, Elis and John deliver another belter of show from London and Salford respectively.

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#23 - Loose and Live from Tobacco Dock

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 17:46:00 GMT

Elis and John come from East London for BBC Music Introducing Live today. It was S of your P stuff at times (will make sense if you listen), but with performances from Cass McCombs and ZUZU, lots of fun was had. Enjoy!

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Bonus #content: How Do You Cope? Trailer

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 08:49:00 GMT

Available now on BBC Sounds, a brand new podcast with Elis and John called How Do You Cope? Episode 1 is with former doctor turned stand-up Adam Kay about the stress and how he coped as a junior doctor in the NHS. Search for “How Do You Cope?” on BBC Sounds, or visit bbc.co.uk/cope for more information on the series.

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#22 - White lies, Bum Cameras and Bowie

Fri, 25 Oct 2019 16:44:00 GMT

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they speak to the woman who photographed a lot of the Gallagher brother fights, John tells us about his latest trip to the doctors and Elis talks about a white lie he told which involves David Bowie. Enjoy!

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#21 - Lad Whispering, Corporates and Fun On The Toilet

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 15:45:00 GMT

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they talk to the inventor of Bluetooth, John discusses his Hunted fantasy, and the perils of brushing your teeth on the toilet. Enjoy!

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#20 - Josh Widdicombe, Boozy Birthdays and The WAFTAs

Fri, 11 Oct 2019 14:00:00 GMT

If you've always wanted to hear friend-of-the-show Josh Widdicombe discuss the existence of a lesser-spotted food item in Pret's airport outlets, then this is the podcast episode you've been waiting for. There's also the usual fun with Made Up Games, Shame Well and The Weirdness Amnesty. Enjoy!

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#19 - Party Bags, Hurdy Gurdies and Edible Christmas Trees

Fri, 04 Oct 2019 16:10:00 GMT

The boys are back with another incredible Weirdness Amnesty, a Van Morrison love in with Kermode and Mayo, and a lot of disdain for sat navs. Enjoy!

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#18 - Funeral Levity, Kermode's TV and Kit Chat

Fri, 27 Sep 2019 15:41:00 GMT

A busy show today, as Elis geeks out with footy kit designer Rob, Dave's mum gets it wrong in church, and there's scandal during this week's Made Up Game.

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#17 - Petty Put-Offs, Football Debuts and Waving Cat Emojis

Fri, 20 Sep 2019 14:00:00 GMT

Due to other 5 Live factors (the Rugby World Cup), we bring you just 50% of the usual two hour show this week, but fear not! We've really tried our best to cram in just as much top notch #content as usual. Enjoy.

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#16 - Good Deeds Gone Wrong, Mayo's Eyelashes, and Unsung Heroes

Fri, 13 Sep 2019 16:26:00 GMT

The boys are back in London this week, and come armed with not one, but two new features! Plus Simon Mayo proves that he's just as weird as the rest of us. #16 is dedicated to Producer Dave's sister, Vicki Thomas. Enjoy.

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#15 - Nude Timber Magnates, Kermode-gate, and Too Many Nigels

Fri, 06 Sep 2019 16:10:00 GMT

John and Elis come live from Bristol, with guests including ex-footballer Danny Gabbidon and golfer Bronte Law. Plus we’re treated to a slew of Bristol-based facts from John that vary in quality. Enjoy!

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#14 - Webcam Shame Well, Shower Technique and Angry Dads

Fri, 30 Aug 2019 16:52:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins return to the comfy London studio after 4 weeks in the BBC Compound at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This week we had another dehumidifier/air con unit revelation and we have a horrific Shame Well concerning a web cam.

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#13 - Live From Edinburgh with Lou Sanders, Ivo Graham and Sunil Patel

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 16:36:00 GMT

It’s the fourth and final week at the Edinburgh Festival for Elis James and John Robins, and they’re going out with a guest-filled bang! Lou Sanders, Ivo Graham and Sunil Patel create an anarchic 'last day at school' vibe, whilst the boys also ask 'When did you get it wrong with your hero'. It’s a busy one, so please do listen responsibly.

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#12 - Live from Edinburgh with Ed Gamble and David O’Doherty

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 15:25:00 GMT

It’s show three of four for Elis and John live from the Edinburgh Festival, and this week - along with guests Ed Gamble and David O’Doherty - there was a cringeworthy Scottish Shame Well, an unexpected victory in Made Up Games, and a lot of talk about odd things you find in a new home. Enjoy!

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#11 - Live from Edinburgh with Sarah Kendall and Suzi Ruffell

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 16:50:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins come to you live from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and are joined by brilliant comedians Sarah Kendall and Suzi Ruffell.

For the first time ever we have the Elis O’Clock News and we delve into the deep depths of John’s Shame Well. Enjoy!

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#10 - Live from Edinburgh with Matt Forde and Al Murray

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 16:37:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins come to you live from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and are joined by mates Matt Forde and Al Murray.

Away from the wonderful guests, John reveals his encyclopaedic knowledge of Chris de Burgh, the team rue their curry choices from the night before, and we all enjoy a Made Up Game all about balls. Enjoy!

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#9 - Soil Shame, Sweary Golf, and John's £40k Marathon

Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:53:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins return to the airwaves after three weeks away (bonus podcasts are available), with this week's edition including John's cricket fantasy, more frantic wheel-spinning and - due to the unique way the BBC is funded - a lot of vague Edinburgh chat.

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#8 - The Pub (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:00:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins bring you yet another bonus podcast, from your friend and mine, the pub!

Today's hard-hitting topics include the art of safe cycling, crisps, and a special pub-based Made-Up Game called 'Play Your Casks Right'.

Enjoy!

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#7 - John's House (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 18:21:00 GMT

Another offering of extra fun, as Elis James and John Robins bring you another bonus podcast. This week, in a reversal of last week's episode, Elis pops round to John's house. Expect the usual listener questions, a look around 'Grief Mansions', and John's Show and Tell.

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#6 - Elis's House (Bonus #Content)

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 14:00:00 GMT

In a change to usual proceedings, this week's bonus Elis James and John Robins Podcast comes from Elis's dining room! So, if you want to know what his partner Isy got him for his 30th birthday, how he arranges his books, and what kind of mood John was in when he arrived, listen on.

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#5 - Dishwashers, Tipsy Cricket and Ol' Johnny Three Hours Early

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 15:56:00 GMT

Join Elis James and John Robins for more nonsensical fun, including Skoda Fabia pronunciation, confusing parking spaces and John's dream day at the cricket. Enjoy!

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#4 - Dad Breaks, Sex Shame and Insta-Clones

Fri, 21 Jun 2019 16:13:00 GMT

Elis James and John Robins bring the laughs to 5 Live once more including John's crush on James Anderson, an incredibly unfortunate Shame Well, and possibly too much motorway chat.

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#3 - Todgers, The Fairness Desk and Clicking VAT Man

Fri, 14 Jun 2019 17:15:00 GMT

Another action-packed show from Elis James and John Robins, with this week's hot topics including wedding commutes, fragrant comedians, and the fact that Elis has never heard of the M2 motorway. Enjoy!

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#2 - Knackerwatch, Valley Vespas and Listener Remuneration

Fri, 07 Jun 2019 16:25:00 GMT

It's show two for new boys Elis James and John Robins, and with them they bring news of unfortunate injuries, Producer Dave's diary entries, and a Grime MC called Yizzy. A mixed bag to say the least, but all top quality #content.

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#1 - Mega Mouse, Project Youth and Captain Beefheart in the Nude

Fri, 31 May 2019 16:22:00 GMT

It’s show one for Elis James and John Robins, and it didn’t disappoint. From rodent advice to topless presenters, Fridays on 5 Live now have a very different sound.

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The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production

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An Audible Hors d'oeuvre

Fri, 24 May 2019 14:55:00 GMT

Ahead of their brand new show on BBC Radio 5 Live, get to know Elis James and John Robins a little better with this introductory podcast teaser.

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