F*ck off and die

Plot Twist

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 08:49:47 GMT

Sarah and Jade weasel their way back into your hearts after spending far too long away with no explanation. The reason is really good though. They talk through some compelling ghosting stats, and how to cope if it happens to you. (Spoiler alert: data says it probably will.)

Get the full show notes here.

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Emma Watson is fine

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 03:11:08 GMT

Sarah and Jade talk about dealing with the anxiety of being partnered and having your shit together post 30 and answer a listener question about when to start dating after a breakup.

Full show notes here.

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How do I deal with the intense physical pain of a breakup?

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 04:02:30 GMT

Sarah plays an excerpt from psychologist Guy Winch's 2017 TedX Talk, about why you shouldn't idealise your ex (and how not to). Jade answers a listener question about how to cope with the intense physical pain of a break up.

Full show notes here.

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You are fucking awesome

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Just a lil message from Sarah to say you are pretty fucking great.

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V Day Special - How to turn your ex into a cockroach

Thu, 11 Feb 2021 08:10:41 GMT

Sarah and Jade discuss naming your ex after a cockroach and then feeding it to an animal at the zoo. Jade answers a question from a listener who wants to know what she can do to get through Valentine’s Day as a single person, without feeling like shit.

Show notes here!

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You're not single. You're eligible as fuck.

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 04:58:33 GMT

Sarah and Jade dissect a clip by Katherine Ryan about the double standard between how single men and single women are viewed. Jade answers a question from a listener who is struggling with her best friend acting smug about her new boyfriend on social media. What the fuck should she do? Sarah and Jade are back from swimming with fishes to give you all the answers.

Show notes here!

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How to survive being single over Christmas

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 10:03:19 GMT

Jade and Sarah talk about how to deal with Christmas when you're single, and answer a question from a listener who just got dumped before the holidays, and is dreading being asked about her boyfriend at Christmas parties.

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How do I convince my ex to take me back?

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 07:45:36 GMT

Jade answers a listener question from someone who wants to know how to convince the ‘love of their life’ to take them back. We discuss whether it’s ever a good idea to fight for love, or let it go.

Sarah shares her tested step-by-step guide for getting the fuck out of the house you shared with your ex, post break up. This advice isn’t for women escaping domestic violence though. (Just regular toxic relationships.)

If you need support to safely leave a domestic violence situation please visit 1800 Respect, or phone 1800 737 732 for professional advice.

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How to date without using dating apps

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 16:00:00 GMT

Jade answers a listener question about how to date without using dating apps. Listen up for a bunch of practical tips. Plus, Sarah talks about the science of friends – how many to have, and what kind of people to avoid. Turns out science says smoking durries is just as bad for your health as having draining folk around you.

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10 mins of crack

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 05:48:19 GMT

Sarah gives you 10 minutes of crack to help you through your break up. A short but powerful lil episode for anyone going through heartbreak right now. Jade is sick so lower your expectations and embrace Sarah’s crass comfort.

Also. A special announcement about a cool thing launching this Friday, and how to contribute to the next Fuck off and die book.

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Ex horror stories - a Halloween special

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 06:53:00 GMT

It’s Halloween this weekend, so we’re sharing horror stories about the scariest and creepiest monsters of all time. YOUR. EXES. You’ll hear Jade provide expert commentary on the science of zombies (AKA guys that say 'hey' every 6 months). Sarah offers to put candy in her vagina in order to attract a virile young male in his mid-twenties, and other creepy AF stories, that are in fact real – which just makes it so much worse.

Get full show notes here.

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Breakups are hard but so are other penises

Tue, 13 Oct 2020 08:24:10 GMT

Sarah talks about crawling her way out of the dick sand, and goes through a bunch of wisdom harvested from Fuck off and die’s Instagram following (it’s really good!). Jade answers a listener question about what to do when coupled friends treat your broken love life as comedy fodder.

For full show notes head here!

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How to find a therapist for cheap in Australia

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 05:15:15 GMT

Therapy is a f***ing awesome thing to do. But how do you find a good therapist? And how do you find a therapist you can actually afford? Sarah walks you through how to do this, with a step-by-step guide. Plus, how to find quality therapy online.

Later. A listener asks Jade what to do if your ex gave you the best oral sex of your life. Should she go back for the orgasms? Or have sex with someone she loves (herself). Jade and Sarah talk through this very real conundrum.

For full show notes head here.

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Why do breakups hurt so much?

Tue, 15 Sep 2020 05:39:36 GMT

Jade accuses Sarah of assault then has an asthma attack. Everybody lives. Sarah talks through an activity in F*ck off and die that uses the negativity bias to your advantage. She also talks about how much she likes her vagina.

A listener asks Jade why it takes so long to get over the pain of a break up. Jade drops some PHacts (the PH makes the facts cooler), and we marvel at how evolution makes our bodies feel really sad during times of heartbreak.

For full show notes head here.

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It's okay to be angry

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 07:40:06 GMT

Jade rejects Sarah’s flowers. Sarah talks about why calling your ex petty names on a piece of paper feels really good, and offers a heinously long list of names she uses. The pair discuss why women aren’t ‘supposed’ to be angry, and why anger is actually perfectly healthy.

Jade answers a listener question about how to deal with a mate that keeps going back to their ‘cunt of an ex’. Sarah talks about domestic violence, and why it’s important to have a proper escape plan and the support of a professional, if you’re going to leave an abusive man.*

A heads up to our listeners who have experienced domestic abuse – this episode contains subject matter that may be distressing. Skip it if you’re not ready to go there.

Domestic violence support

Domestic Violence Line

1800 65 64 63

1800RESPECT (Australia Wide)

1800 737 732 (24 hours)

Lifeline

13 1114

Show notes

Earrings by Haus of Dizzy
Book activity - Fuck you mother fucker
Natalie Portman talks about why women should be allowed to be angry - Harpers Bazaar.
Sarah's Horrorscopes

Listener Question

How do you support a friend who is getting back with their cunt ex when you know they deserve better?

Quotes

“Choose yourself. Over and over again. Even when you’ve let yourself down. Choose yourself. Even when it feels uncomfortable. Choose yourself. Even when you’re tired. Choose yourself.”

– Chidera Eggerue from What a Time to be Alone: The Slumflower’s guide to why you are already enough.

“You can miss it and still not want it back”

– Friday Fries

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35 years of Sarah and why riding solo is rad AF

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 07:49:20 GMT

Sarah is 35 so F*ck off and die celebrates by inviting DJ Shannon Fox to eat cake and talk about dying alone. Just kidding. In this special episode, Jade, Sarah and Shannon discuss the best things about being single, including how good it is not to date people who police what you put in your mouth.

Shannon shares her expertise on glitter, dressing like a three-year-old for eternal youth and how her duty in life is to remind people about Angela’s Ashes. Jade constantly mentions how young she is, even though she is the oldest person in the room. Sarah complains about the term ‘single’, and everyone agrees on a new and far better term. Much cake is eaten.

This pod was recorded with 2 mics and 3 people, so the sound is all over the place.

Show notes

Special guest DJ Shannon Fox visits the FOD pod.
Hustlers is the film featuring our girl crushes JLo and Cardi B (WAP 4eva).
Get an hour glass and watch your life slowly pour away. It's really fun. Really.
Angela's Ashes - another really fun thing to watch. We mean read. It was a book first.

The Man in the Arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Teddy Roosevelt quoted 1910
Quoted in Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

Review your ex

Send us a review of how your ex performed during the break up and it might be anonymously read on our pod.
Example: Ghosted me then asked to be COVID fuck buddies six months later. 2/10.

Emma Watson talking sense

“I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel,” she continues. “I was like, ‘This is totally spiel.’ It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

Emma Watson quoted in Vogue 2019

Our gift to Shannon

Get a gold mirror decal that tells you you're Sexy AF. (Cause you fucking are.)

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/fckoffanddie.

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Who gets to keep the sex toys?

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 08:32:29 GMT

Sarah and Jade discuss the horror of being 21 in an Instagram world where everyone has the same face, then marvel at the emotional maturity of The Baby Sitters Club. Sarah talks about the power of deleting your ex from all of your shared accounts, as well as their mother.

Jade answers a listener question about who gets to keep the sex toys. Both Sarah and Jade agree that a board with rusty nails on it is not a sex toy and that vaginas are sacred and should not be entered by men with long fingernails. Ethical porn and composting are also discussed.

Show notes

Watch 21 Again on Netflix.
Watch The Baby Sitters Club on Netflix too.

Book activity

Delete him from your accounts a la Fuck off and die the book.
More on ethical porn here.

Listener question

Who gets to keep the sex toys?
Here's an article about that by Medium.
And another one, in case our advice sucked.

Quotes

"Men that don’t rape women are not special. Men that don’t cheat are not special. Men that treat women with equality are not special. Men that cook in their homes and take care of the baby are not special. This is what a normal man should be like."

– By @solomon_buchi (Twitter) found on Dangerous Females

“I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me “I love you”. There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

– Maya Angelou

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Lipp Selects: Bite Your Thumb!

Sun, 02 Aug 2020 01:43:35 GMT

Bite Your Thumb is a new comedic interview show Lipp Media. Host Jess, a hater of 'Romeo and Juliet', takes listeners into fair Verona to uncover why we love re-visiting, adapting, transforming and upholding this famous story.

In this episode, Jess has a fascinating conversation with Bell Shakespeare's Artistic Director Peter Evans. They discuss his directorial choices of a production of R+J in 2016, and how toxic patriarchy and the blind, prejudiced rule of the older generation rules the world of young doomed lovers.

Listen to Bite Your Thumb whereever you listen to us!

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Jade betrays Sarah

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 16:00:00 GMT

In this ep Sarah suffers for your heart ache while Jade adjusts some blinds and refuses to sit down. Sarah explains how to reclaim those activities you used to do with your ex, by doing them with someone way better and giving exposure therapy a go. She also talks about crying in public and happy couples making her want to vomit.

Jade ponders a listener question about when it’s right to start dating after a break up. Sarah makes up a new saying about dick horses and Jade offers some actual good advice. The pair finish the podcast with some sayings, which are pretty great, but you’ll just have to listen to the show (or read the show notes).

Show notes

“ Here we go round the prickly pear

Prickly pear prickly pear

Here we go round the prickly pear

At five o'clock in the morning.”

From The Hollow Men by T.S ELLIOT 1925

Quoted in The Sinner - season 3 ep. 2

Book activity

Who else can I brunch with?
Find the activity in the book here.
More on exposure therapy here.
And just a note to say we are not therapists or mental health professionals. So please consult one if you feel uncertain about giving exposure therapy a go.

Listener question

“When is the right time to get back into dating after a breakup?”
Mein Kampf – Adolf Hitler 1925
Note from Jade: Honestly I don’t know why Sarah brought this up we sure as hell don’t recommend it and without reading it I don’t think it’s about breakups.

Quotes

“I embrace the label of bad feminist because I am human. I am messy. I’m not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say I’m right. I am just trying—trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.”

― Bad Feminist Roxanne Gay

Watch Fleabag for more mentions of bad feminists.

“Woo child, tired of the bullshit

Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving

I know that it's hard but you have to try

If you need advice, let me simplify

If he don't love you anymore

Just walk your fine ass out the door.”

― Lizzo - Lyrics from Good as Hell

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How many raccoons can you fit in your butt?

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 07:15:31 GMT

In this episode Sarah and Jade discuss an upcoming butt party they are excited to be attending. Sarah talks about why your brain is wired to crave your ex like a crack head post break up. And offers a useful tip to help redirect those intense feelings.

Jade answers a listener question about why exes like to get back in touch with you. It turns out to be a lot less sinister than everyone suspects. Yep exes are human beings like the rest of us (unless they’re a sociopath). At the end, the pair share quotes because other people always say it better.

Show Notes

Raccoons and your butt

The human rectum can stretch up to 9 inches without tearing. A raccoon can fit through holes that are 6 inches or wider. So technically a raccoon could fit up your arse. This dubious 'fact' was found on Reddit.

Why you have cravings for your ex

When participants in a study viewed photos of their exes, brain scans indicated activity in regions of the brain associated with the reward or motivation system, which communicates through the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine.

Dopamine is involved in both drug addiction and the early, obsessive stages of love. This is why people who have been rejected may feel cravings for their ex, similar to how addicts crave a drug or people who are newly in love crave their loved one’s presence.

Read the full study titled Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated With Rejection in Love by Helen E. Fisher and Lucy L. Brown here.

Listener Question

If you can, try not to search for your ex on social media.

Here is some help with this seemingly impossible task.

Quotes

“It’s a lot easier to be miserable than uncertain”

Abbey Gib TEDx

“Whenever you’re having a really bad day, just remember that some poor bastard is meeting your cunt of an ex and thinking that they’ve found someone really special.”

Loubobang

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Trailer

Sat, 04 Jul 2020 03:27:17 GMT

F*ck off and die is a crude cosmic hug for anyone going through heart break. It's based on a break up activity book made by Sarah Robinson and Jade Foo. Each episode features unsolicited advice, kinda loosely backed by science, and a listener question answered by someone with no qualifications. It's funny, heartfelt and inappropriate.

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What do I do if my ex is trash talking me?

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 05:12:47 GMT

Sarah and Jade are excited to be in the same room but also very bummed out about the state of the world. They make a special announcement that gets them back to being excited. Sarah talks about why setting things on fire makes you feel good, and how responsibly lit fires can help release the pain and upset of a broken heart.

Jade answers a listener question about how to handle being trash talked by your ex. Sarah suggests murdering them. They later agree this is not okay, then settle on some actual good advice you may or may not want to take. At the end they say quotes other people made up, because other people say it better than they do.

Show Notes

Buy self-esteem – our mirror decals that tell you you’re Sexy As Fuck or Hotter Than Hell are cheaper than therapy.
Burn Baby Burn – the final Chapter of our book, Fuck off and die.
The Power of Fire Ceremonies – why lighting shit on fire feels good after a break up.

Quotes

“Whatever you are looking for is looking for you too.”

Saul Williams

“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

Maya Angelou

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/fckoffanddie.

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Explosion of semen everywhere

Sat, 02 May 2020 03:00:00 GMT

In this ep Sarah talks about being in a dark place and trying to find a silver lining amidst all the COVID BS. She tells listeners to do the same, then wonders if the whole activity is patronising. In between Jade and Sarah put on lipstick to look like glam whores.

Jade answers a listener question about how to date in ISO. She delves into the importance of staying safe and heeding the wisdom of pod-God Dan Savage. Sarah talks about not having sex with an ex in the sand dunes and doing kinky shit with a German Dom online.

This episode is a bit dated ‘cause state regulations have changed now, but whatever.

Show Notes

Sarah thinks some things are better in iso and takes 4 hours to make a coffee.
Jade buys Fat Boi Brownies for our web genius MoMo.

Listener Questions

"Dear Jade & Sarah, I have been connecting with my Hinge buddy really well, and was about to go on a date. And then suddenly COVID-19 hit. Should I still meet up physically?"

"What does it mean to look for a relationship now? Can it really be done in just text and chat? How important is physical contact in initial dating?"

Podcast legend Dan Savage has great advice on keeping safe while dating during COVID-19. (We also nominate him for Queen of the Universe.)
Bumble and Tinder both recommend people don't meet up in person at the moment.
Our blog on dating as a highly sensitive person.
Go on a virtual date at The Met Museum or check out these museum and art gallery recommendations from The Guardian.
KinkD is an app for members of the kink community. You can select your kinks and find other people who align with what you desire.

Quotes

"I love you. Breathe. I am here, and I always will be."

- Sarah’s diary to her inner child

"Please take care of yourselves, take care of the people around you, and wash your damn hands."

- Dan Savage (Savage Love)

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

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People in happy relationships can get fucked

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode Sarah discusses sexting a 23 year old interested in older women and shares an activity to make you feel better in iso. She also tells people in healthy, loving relationships to get fucked.

Jade answers a listener question about coping with isolation when most of your friends are partnered. Sarah suggests getting new friends, but Jade has some actual good ideas. This is another episode in our series on ‘breaking up with your life’, thanks to COVID-19.

Show Notes

CURATE YOUR SOCIALS YO, how to be single in iso. Where we talk about Instagram forever.

Artists we love to follow (and you should too!)

Good bois living better lives than all of us...

Hot guys

Nominations for Queen of the Universe

Quotes

"Don’t forget to wash your hands and block your ex."

- Violet Clair

"If you want bread, have some bread. It’s a global crisis, frankly do whatever makes this easier: wank, eat, sleep, repeat. We don’t need to come out of this thin, we need to come out of this alive. That’s our only job. Stay safe. Be gentle with yourself. Love you."

- Jameela Jamil

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

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Give up and get weird

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 11:00:00 GMT

In this next series, Jade and Sarah talk about breaking up with their lives in the wake of COVID-19. Sarah goes through the Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle and tells everyone it’s okay to feel f*cking crazy, since the whole situation is, well, f*cking crazy.

Jade answers a listener question about how to be happy in your own company. Sarah suggests sniffing Sharpie pens and drawing bad pictures. Jade says being busy and having too many pets is the answer. A lot more happens in between.

The point of making this is to make people feel a little bit better about life right now.

Show Notes

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle 'Corona Edition'
School of Life - How to Be Alone by Sara Maitland

Quotes

“Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

― Maya Angelou

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

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Never fuck a Nazi

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 11:00:00 GMT

Sarah talks about why your wild post-break up ideas should be put on pause, so you don’t completely f*ck up your life. And how these ideas can be used to power an amazing life, after the heart break has settled.

Jade answers a listener question about how to handle getting an STI from an ex. Turns out, herpes is just a rash, and loads of people in Australia have it. In between, Jade tells everyone that fucking a Nazi is not okay. Everyone agrees.

Show notes

1. F*ck off and die – find the book here.

2. More information about herpes.

3. What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough by Chidera Eggerue, 2018

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/fckoffanddie.

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What's your body count?

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 11:00:00 GMT

Sarah talks about why it’s easy to lose your sh*t when a song that reminds you of him comes on in the tampon aisle of the supermarket. And, why taking back your playlist is a step towards healing.

Jade wonders whether it’s okay to ask someone how many people they've slept with on the first date. We discover only Jade asks this question, and it's probably not okay.

Show notes

1. F*ck off and die – find the book here.

2. Get the F*ck off and die playlist here.

3. Music Brings Memory Back to the Injured Brain

4. A snapshot of the sexual health and well-being of the Australian population.

5. The Numbers Game published in The Sydney Morning Herald, 2012

6. The Peril of Magnificent Love by Emma Magenta, 2004

7. Tips for Getting out of Bed by Healthline, 2018

8. How to Get Out of Bed When You're Depressed by Vice.com, 2019

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/fckoffanddie.

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Why is he liking my Posts?

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 11:00:00 GMT

Sarah shares an easy activity from the book, F*ck off and die, that has saved her during a break up time and time again. Jade says goodbye to the soap scum in one of her ex's hair, and everyone rejoices.

Jade delves into what it means when an ex likes your Instagram posts or watches your stories. Sarah assumes it's because he's trying to f*ck with you, but apparently there are other, less menacing reasons.

Show notes

1. F*ck off and die – activity can be found in the book.

2. How to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch, 2018

3. Music Brings Memory Back to the Injured Brain

4. Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

5. Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl by Natalie Lue, 2011

6. Brene Brown's Ted Talk

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/fckoffanddie.

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Podcast virgins

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 10:00:00 GMT

F*ck off and die is a crude cosmic hug for women going through heart break.

In this maiden episode, Jade and Sarah talk about the science behind why everything feels so sh*tty after a breakup, and what you can do to make life more bearable. In between, they question if they’re qualified to make a Podcast, but enjoy talking about themselves too much and power on.

Sarah walks you through an activity in the book, F*ck off and die, designed to help you through this tough time. Jade talks about whether ghosting is okay. Sarah is disappointed to discover Jade thinks it is. The pair remain friends.

This episode was dropped on Valentine's Day, because it's a stupid day and awesome, single people deserve love too.

Show notes

F*ck off and die – find the book here.

Grieving breakups – to your brain the pain of a breakup is similar to the death of a loved one. MRI studies on brain pain centres. (Fischer et al 2005).

Native American culture – we couldn’t find the podcast mentioned by Sarah, but a similar message appears in Dwellings: A Spritual History of the Living World by Touchstone Books (1995).

“Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.”

― Linda Hogan

Caveman days – rejection from the tribe meant death.

Rush, John A. Clinical Anthropology: an application of anthropological concepts within clinical settings, Praeger London 1996, p84

Quote by Marilyn Monroe

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Our theme music is by Naomi Robinson and Josiah Padmanabham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/fckoffanddie.

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