Hold The Mother

How To Find A Therapist

Thu, 26 Sep 2024 09:55:12 GMT

In today's episode, we dive deep into the process of finding the right therapist for you. Whether you are new to therapy or have been through it before, the search for a suitable therapist can be overwhelming - but it doesn't have to be!

We'll cover everything from what an accredited therapist is, to the importance of a personal fit with your chosen therapist and the impact this can have on your therapeutic recovery.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might be looking for a therapist. Don't forget to leave me a review on your favourite podcast platform!

If you’re interested in working with me, you can book a free consultation here.

I also share lots of tips and advice via Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trauma and the Need for Rest Explained

Thu, 22 Aug 2024 11:38:44 GMT

In this podcast episode, I explain why you may find it hard to rest if you have experienced trauma, particularly if the trauma occurred in your early life.

I explore with you three reasons why you may struggle to rest and suggest a strategy I use myself when my own inner critic voices get in the way of my own rest.

I hope you enjoy the episode!

Links Worth Clicking:

7 Types of Rest and How to Incorporate Them into Your Life

What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Do you recognise any of the barriers to rest described above? If you need help overcoming them and you’re interested in working with me, you can book a free consultation here.

I also share lots of tips and advice via Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Postpartum Anxiety Explained

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 13:28:38 GMT

In this podcast episode, I talk more about postpartum anxiety and how it affects your thoughts, emotions, body and behaviour. Around 15% of new mums experience a significant anxiety problem during pregnancy and up to the first year postnatally. So if you can relate, you're not alone.

I delve into how anxiety is something we need to keep us safe, but how perceived threat can trigger your anxiety even in situations where there is no real threat.

The episode very briefly references intrusive thoughts - listen to my previous episode for a more in depth overview Intrusive Thoughts In Parenthood Podcast Episode

If you enjoyed this episode, please share with anyone you think would also enjoy it, and subscribe so you are notified as soon as I release a new episode. And if you’d like to learn more about me and how I can support you, click here!

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Motherhood

Wed, 08 May 2024 15:39:05 GMT

In this podcast episode, Joyella shares her journey through new motherhood, deeply influenced by her own experiences of being parented and her childhood trauma. She recounts the challenges of being raised by a young, single mother with limited support and how this has shaped her approach to parenting her two-year-old son differently.

We talked about the complexities of managing and understanding our own triggers, the process of self-awareness and healing, and how Joyella navigates maintaining a relationship with her mother now.

I'm really passionate about understanding intergenerational trauma so this episode is a beautiful example of how we can experience trauma and work through it for ourselves and our children.

Episode highlights:

02:01 Joyella's Childhood and Its Impact

04:24 Differences in Parenting Between Siblings

12:17 Navigating Motherhood with a Traumatic Past

17:59 Strategies for Managing Parental Triggers

20:40 The Importance of Rupture and Repair in Parenting

25:10 Reflecting on Intergenerational Trauma

If you enjoyed this episode, please share with anyone you think would also enjoy it, and subscribe so you are notified as soon as I release a new episode. And if you'd like to learn more about me and how I can support you, click here!

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exploring Real Experiences of Childhood Trauma

Thu, 25 Apr 2024 13:52:03 GMT

Today I chat with Siti about the complexities of childhood trauma. She shares personal experiences and reflections on how various forms of childhood trauma, including emotional neglect, criticism, and lack of acceptance, have impacted her life into adulthood. We delve into the nuanced ways trauma manifests in behaviours, relationships, and self-perception, discussing the fear of rejection, the struggle with self-image, and the challenge of expressing emotions properly.

This is a great episode to listen to if you're wondering how your childhood may have affected you.

Episode highlights:

11:43 Impact of Childhood Experiences on Adult Relationships

11:58 Dealing with Emotional Expression and Anger

18:12 Navigating Work and Personal Life Influenced by Childhood Trauma

22:36 The Role of Therapy in Addressing Childhood Trauma

31:54 Reflecting on the Impact of Cultural and Societal Norms

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Understanding Mum Rage

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 14:48:42 GMT

Today's episode is all about the concept of 'mum rage,' which is characterised by intense, often inexplicable anger experienced by mothers. I unpack the two typical primary reasons behind mum rage: unmet needs and triggers of past experiences.

Unmet needs can stem from the demands of childcare, work, and household management, leading to feelings of depletion and isolation. Conversely, certain situations in motherhood might reactivate unresolved feelings from the your past, intensifying your emotional response. I hope this sheds light on the importance of recognising the roots of mum rage, addressing unmet needs through support and delegation, and exploring therapeutic options for processing past traumas.

Episode highlights:

05:17 The Impact of Social Support and Modern Motherhood

08:28 Workplace Challenges for Mothers

10:51 The Emotional Toll of Motherhood and Strategies for Coping

18:52 Identifying and Managing Triggers of Mum Rage

Useful Links:

The Self-Soothing Series - Safety Bubble Exercise

The Self-Soothing Series - Using Your Imagination

The Self-Soothing Series - Visualisation

Free Trigger Log Worksheet

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating Mothers Day After Childhood Trauma

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 17:54:47 GMT

Today I want to talk about the complexities of navigating Mother's Day for people who have experienced childhood trauma, specifically abuse or neglect from their mothers.

My hope for you is that this episode will give you the confidence to engage with Mother's Day the way you need to, challenging societal expectations and the pressure to conform to normative expressions of appreciation, like sending cards or gifts.

Episode highlights:

05:18 Understanding the Dynamics of Trauma and Motherhood

14:14 Navigating Your Feelings and Decisions on Mother's Day

17:21 Reflecting on the Complexity of Motherhood and Respect

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How To Support Someone In The Fourth Trimester

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 12:30:01 GMT

When I had my children I had no idea what 'The Fourth Trimester' was but learning about it has been so important for me and my clients. And I hope it will be as affirming for you too. The fourth trimester, which is first three months post-pregnancy, is such a significant time for mother and child to bond and adjust to their new roles.

What I know to be true is the need for emotional and practical support in the fourth trimester and in this episode I share my gentle approach to dealing with postnatal recovery in the hopes it will help you in your journey. Let me know what you think :)

Episode highlights:

00:30 Understanding the Importance of the Fourth Trimester

03:29 The Impact of the Fourth Trimester on the Family

05:13 How to Support Someone in the Fourth Trimester

09:26 Practical Ways to Support New Parents

12:17 The Importance of Rest in the Fourth Trimester

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How To Challenge Toxic Thoughts

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 17:18:39 GMT

Welcome to the latest episode of the Hold the Mother podcast. I'm Laura Hans, your host and perinatal psychotherapist, and today we're diving into the world of maternal mental health.

In this episode, I'm really excited to chat with you about something super important – how we can tackle those toxic thoughts that often creep into our minds. You know, the ones that mess with our emotions and actions? Yeah, those. We're going to unpack it all!

We'll be talking about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – breaking down the myths, exploring how it works, and getting into the detail of challenging negative thinking patterns. Spoiler alert: thoughts are not facts! They're more like biased opinions, and I've got some useful CBT techniques, like catch, challenge, and change, to help you question those thoughts and see things from a more balanced perspective. And if you're looking for some extra guidance, I've got a book recommendation for you – 'CBT for Dummies' by Rena Branch.

Episode highlights:

02:07 Myths about positive thinking

03:46 How thoughts pull the strings of our emotions and behaviours

06:51 The Three C's: Catch, Challenge, Change

10:21 Unpacking unhelpful thinking styles

17:45 Tips for changing thoughts in a practical way

So grab your headphones, get comfy, and let's chat about nurturing that mental health of yours. Can't wait for you to join me on this journey.

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Self Compassion Can Help You As a Parent

Wed, 31 Jan 2024 11:20:54 GMT

This week, I delve into the concept of self compassion in motherhood and why it's so important in building resilience, reducing anxiety and depression and, ultimately, helping children model self compassion for themselves.

As ever, I share personal experiences and insights, along with practical tips on how self compassion can be cultivated and maintained.

Episode highlights:

00:48 Understanding Self-Compassion

03:33 The Benefits of Self-Compassion

08:15 Modelling Self-Compassion for Children

15:54 The Inner Critic and Self-Compassion

Referenced in the episode:

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What to Do if Therapy Isn't Working

Thu, 25 Jan 2024 13:40:39 GMT

In this episode of 'Hold the Mother', I discuss what to consider when therapy isn't working. I explore signs of ineffective therapy, reasons it might not be working, and what you can do about it. I emphasise the importance of finding the right type of therapy, the appropriate mode of delivery, and a therapist that you connect with. And I also explain the benefits of a versatile therapist skilled in different modalities.

Episode highlights:

01:17 Understanding Different Therapy Modalities

02:04 Recognising Signs of Ineffective Therapy

13:35 The Role of Therapist-Client Relationship

13:35 The Importance of Therapist Selection

19:52 The Benefits of a Tiered Approach in Therapy

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CBT or EMDR – How To Choose The Right Therapy

Sat, 13 Jan 2024 16:21:29 GMT

I am trained in both Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR). The beauty of this is that I can draw upon each of the modalities at different points in your therapy journey. What I use and when will depend on your treatment needs and goals. This podcast episode explores how to choose the right therapy in more detail…

Episode highlights:

What is CBT?
What is EMDR?
What are the main similarities and differences between CBT and EMDR Therapy?
How to choose the right therapy for you

What Is EMDR Therapy Podcast Episode

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Inner Child Explained (And How To Heal It)

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 17:07:26 GMT

Our inner child is the child part of us that carries all the pain we felt from not having our core needs met in childhood. To a certain degree, you could say we all have an inner child. However, people who were let down more often as children will tend to have a very strong inner child that can be triggered easily by what may seem like very small incidents to other people.

Episode highlights:

What is the inner child?
How you can tell your own inner child has been triggered
The impact of your inner child on your adult relationships
How reparenting in therapy can heal your inner child and what that looks like

What is Reparenting and Where Do I Start?

What is Schema Therapy?

What is EMDR Therapy Podcast Episode

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pregnancy After Loss - How To Manage Anxiety

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 14:40:53 GMT

According to Tommy's Pregnancy Charity, an estimated 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Becoming pregnant after baby loss can be particularly anxiety provoking. This episode discusses my own experience of a missed miscarriage and may be triggering for some to listen to.

Episode highlights:

My own experience of having a miscarriage
The signs of anxiety to look out for in a pregnancy after loss
My top tips as a psychotherapist for dealing with pregnancy after miscarriage

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Real Experiences of Recovering From Birth Trauma Part 1

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 10:58:06 GMT

It is estimated that around 30,000 women a year in the UK experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after the birth of their baby. In this episode, I chat with Katie who had her first baby in lockdown and sought support to overcome the trauma she experienced. This is a story of hope and recovery, but may be triggering for some.

Episode highlights:

How the use of medical terms such as "failure to progress," can lead to self-blame.
What symptoms can happen after birth trauma
Katie's experience of EMDR Therapy to process the trauma she experienced.

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Self-Soothing Series - Part 1

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 14:13:10 GMT

Many of us, including mothers, can become emotionally dysregulated in everyday life. Those who have experienced a lot of stress and trauma are likely to become more dysregulated more quickly, so it’s important to know some simple, accessible ways to calm yourself down. This episode explores an exercise that teaches you how to use calming, soothing thoughts and images to regulate the nervous system.

Episode highlights:

What is the window of tolerance?
What are the benefits of learning to self-soothe as an adult
Learn an exercise called "Peaceful Place" that we use in trauma therapy to regulate strong emotions

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intrusive Thoughts In Parenthood

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 08:46:59 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I explore the topic of intrusive thoughts in parenthood. We all get intrusive thoughts, although some are more bothered by having them than others. Why is this? Have a listen to find out!

Episode highlights:

What are intrusive thoughts?
Why do they bother some people more than others?
My tips to manage intrusive thoughts based on a decade of being a psychotherapist

You can also follow me on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 13:58:30 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Shelley Bradley-Scholey, an EMDR Consultant all about Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing Therapy. I am so passionate about this therapy after receiving it myself and feeling like it 'hit the spot' much more than other psychological therapies. Join us as we explore this life-changing therapy!

Episode highlights:

What is EMDR Therapy?
The 8 phases of EMDR Therapy
What emotional difficulties can EMDR be used with?
How to find an EMDR Therapist?

You can also follow Shelley on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Improving Self-Esteem In Motherhood

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 13:51:01 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I explore the topic of low self-esteem, a hugely common problem that many people experience for one reason or another.

Episode highlights:

What is low self-esteem?
How does low self-esteem develop?
My top three tips as a psychotherapist to get started on improving your self-esteem in motherhood

In the episode, I talk about my FREE Learning To Love Yourself Guide. You can subscribe to yours here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Is Matrescence?

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 11:33:42 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Jacqueline Kelly, Motherhood and Matrescence Coach, about all things Matrescence - the process of losing ourselves in motherhood!

Episode highlights:

What is Matrescence?
The difference between Matrescence and perinatal mental illness
Mum guilt and why we experience it, from Jacqueline's point of view

You can also follow Jacqueline on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Father's Mental Health

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 12:58:09 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Scott Mair, Father's Mental Health trainer, campaigner and advocate, about how Dad's can look after their mental health when they have a new baby.

Episode highlights:

The importance of antenatal education and peer support for Father's
Paternal Depression and the statistics
The impact on Father's when being/working away from their babies
Advice for Dad's experiencing anxiety & depression
Support for Dad's (Dad Pad, Dad Matters, Psychotherapist for Father's, Nathan Alexander).

You can also follow Scott on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Breastfeeding Grief & Trauma

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 12:29:05 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with J'Nel Metherell (IBCLC) about her role as a lactation consultant and her work with families, using her expert advice about breastfeeding. We also talk about the emotional difficulties that can come with breastfeeding, or not being able to for whatever reason.

Episode highlights:

Common breastfeeding problems
Myths around breastfeeding
An IBCLC - the experts in breastfeeding
The role of self-blame in breastfeeding grief and trauma
Advice if you still have unresolved feelings about your breastfeeding journey

If you enjoyed this episode, please share and subscribe so you are notified as soon as I release a new episode. And if you'd like to learn more about me and how I can support you, head to my Instagram or my website.

You can also give J'Nel a follow on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trauma - It's Not What You Think It Is

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 10:56:22 GMT

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk about my experience of trauma from a personal and professional perspective. I talk about what trauma is and give examples of traumatic memories that I have worked through myself, as well as those that I have helped my own client's work through.

Episode highlights:

Examples of trauma, both in and outside the perinatal period
How going through an overwhelming life experience can affect the brain and its ability to process life events
How Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy can help you overcome trauma

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Is A Mental Health Midwife?

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 19:33:14 GMT

In today's episode of Hold The Mother, I speak to Tessa van der Vord about her role as a Mental Health Midwife and what support she offers for those in pregnancy or postnatally who are experiencing mental ill-health.

Episode highlights:

What support you can expect from a mental health midwife
The most commonly seen mental health difficulties in the perinatal period
What a Perinatal Mental Health Team is and why you may be referred to them.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Prioritising And Supporting Yourself As A Parent

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 11:45:45 GMT

In today's episode of Hold The Mother, I share some of my tips on how to support yourself as a parent from my experience as a mum of three, and as a psychotherapist specialising in maternal mental health.

Episode highlights:

How to ask for practical support in the newborn phase and beyond
Ways to ensure you have good social support
Why emotional and psychological support is so important, and how you can access it

If you enjoyed this episode please share and subscribe so you are notified as soon as I release a new episode. And if you'd like to learn more about me and how I can support you head to my Instagram or my website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.