I'll TellYa Dis!

EP 28: "Not See TV 👀📺💀"

Mon, 28 Sep 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, it’s Erik Marino’s BIRTHDAY!!! 🎂🎉🥳 And nothing says "Happy Birthday" more than the United Nations shutting down half of Manhattan and turning Christy Miller’s commute home into The Amazing Race: Fuck Your Diplomatic Traffic Jam Edition. 🌎🚧💀

After walking FIVE FUCKING MILES just to get home, Christy did what any rational New Yorker would do during UN Week: cussed out a Secret Service agent, two cops and three innocent bystanders. 🇺🇸🫡 Welcome to NY! Now GTFOH!

Meanwhile, Susan Sarandon and Hannah Einbinder got arrested protesting outside the UN, world leaders walked out on "a certain someone's" speech 👏🏻, and Midtown Manhattan became one giant geopolitical clusterfuck — proving once again that the United Nations may not be able to unite the nations, but they CAN unite New Yorkers in wanting everybody to GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR WAY. 🗽🖕🏼

In other news, a DIFFERENT "certain someone" has launched his own YouTube channel because he doesn't like the Press reporting what he is ACTUALLY DOING... so now, WELCOME TO TRUMP TV! 📺🤦🏻‍♀️ It's so pathetic he's turned his Press Pool into a podcast studio 🧐🤨🤦🏻‍♀️... HE'S A YOUTUBER NOW.

Welcome to NOT SEE TV 👀📺 — where the press and public can NOT SEE shit 🤦🏻‍♀️... the presidency has officially entered its “LIKE, SUBSCRIBE AND DESTROY THAT NOTIFICATION BELL” era. 🔔💀

I swear we are doomed.

Meanwhile, Sydney Sweeney is butt ass NAKED in Times Square selling sports betting 🎰🍒👀 and everybody is arguing about whether women should be offended... WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Girl, show your 🐱 in Times Square if you want — make that money. 💰👏🏻

Erik's problem is with the SPORTS BETTING APP itself... because his grandfather was a bookie and APPS ARE TAKING JOBS AWAY FROM HARDWORKING AMERICAN BOOKIES. 🇺🇸🤌🏼

FUCK BIG TECH!!! SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESS!! SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BOOKIE. Keep that gambling money where it belongs: IN THE FAMILY. 🤌🏼💵🇮🇹

Someone needs to get whacked... but how the fuck do you put a hit out on an app? 📱🤌🏼💀

Former NFL player Matt Kalil tried to stop his ex-wife from publicly discussing the size of his 🍆 during their divorce — only for a JUDGE to basically rule, NOPE, THE DICK IS RELEVANT. ⚖️🍆🏈

So now the entire country is involved in this man's penis because apparently WHAT HAPPENS IN THE HUDDLE DOES NOT STAY IN THE HUDDLE. 💀

And finally, it’s FAT BEAR WEEK 🐻 — the one week a year when Alaska celebrates enormous bears while Palm Springs is like, “...one week?” 🏳️‍🌈👀😂

Roseanne is STILL fighting with her TV son over a racist Ambien tweet from NINE YEARS AGO 🤦🏻‍♀️, and the FBI is warning ICE agents about fake “trad wives” online trying to lure them in and dox them... even government surveillance can't beat the CATFISH era. 🐱🎣🇺🇸

At this point, we have no idea who's watching who, who's sleeping with who, or whose 🍆 is legally relevant.

See you next Monday. 🫶🏻🎤🔥

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EP 27: "Weekend at McConnell’s"

Mon, 21 Sep 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral through another week of “American excellence” 🇺🇸💀 as the New York Mets have officially managed to lose to EVERY TEAM IN MLB — INCLUDING THEMSELVES. ⚾️🤕

You heard it here, folks. After spending one game literally watching a baseball fall unattended between A BILLION DOLLARS’ WORTH OF PLAYERS like they were all brand new on the job, they overcompensate the very next night and KNEE THEIR OWN FIRST BASEMAN IN THE HEAD. 💥🧠

That is the MOST MET THING EVER. 😵‍💫💥⚾️

Somewhere, Mr. Met is quietly Googling workers’ comp. 💀

Meanwhile, comedy continues its inspiring journey directly into hell 🔥🎤 as Turning Point USA replaces Russell Brand with Chris D’Elia on their “America, Love It or Leave It” Tour 🧐 — which is starting to sound more like the PREDA-TOUR if you ask us. 🚩🤦🏻‍♀️

Seriously, that’s like replacing Buffalo Bill with Freddy Krueger and calling it an upgrade. 😳🔪

And because nothing says “protect the children” quite like putting Chris D’Elia ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS...

🎶 HERE COMES THE GROOMER... 🎶 💀🚩

On a lighter note 🎵, Macklemore gets booted from the Ed Sheeran tour by Gillette Stadium/Patriots owner Robert Kraft. As a result, Ed Sheeran’s band walks, the other opening acts walk, leaving poor Ed “all alone in the ghetto with no BBQ.” 🎸🥺

So now he’s apparently doing the stadium tour as a stripped-down acoustic act — and the internet has given it the only name it deserves:

🧀🎸 KRAFT SINGLES. 💀🥁🧀

Back in Washington, Lauren Boebert is facing a brand-new ethics complaint alleging inappropriate relationships with former and current staffers — because apparently the “BEETLEJUICE BEAT OFF EXTRAVAGANZA” was just the opening act. 🍿8=✊🏻=D💦

In other unexpected sequels... welcome to WEEKEND AT McCONNELL’S 🇺🇸🦴👍🏻 — after disappearing from the Senate for three months, Mitch is BACK and getting wheeled into Congress just in time for another episode of WTF IS GOING ON NOW?! 💀✨

In 80's style music news, an AC/DC concert gets canceled because of thunderstorms — 🎶YOU'VE BEEN...THUNDERSTRUCK🎶 ⚡️🤘🏻😵‍💫🤘🏻 — the Emmys think CHUCK NORRIS IS STILL ALIVE, and Arch Manning has to apologize after liking an AI-generated video of his coach knocking a female reporter to the ground… proving once again that people are dumber than a box of rocks. 🪨🤖👏🏻

And just when it feels like America has officially become a horror movie brought to you by the people who made Airplane!, WONDER WOMAN SHOWS UP. 🦸🏻‍♀️🇺🇸

Lynda Carter joins the Kennedy Center protest as demonstrators surround the building — because if this country is going straight to hell in a handbasket, we’re gonna need the “Queen of the Justice League” to save us. 💥✨

QUICK, SOMEBODY FIND THE INVISIBLE PLANE. ✈️💨

At this point, America isn’t a country anymore — it’s a DIRECT-TO-STREAMING DISASTER MOVIE WITH NO FUCKING ENDING. 🇺🇸🔥💀

And apparently the Emmys left Chuck Norris OUT of the In Memoriam...

BECAUSE THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL WALKER, TEXAS RANGER. 🤠💀

Seriously... WHAT THE FUCK DO THE EMMYS KNOW THAT WE DON’T?! 👀⚰️

See you next Monday. 🫶🏻🎤🔥

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EP 26: "NEIN 11"

Mon, 14 Sep 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino celebrate Christy’s birthday 🎂🥳 by doing what every "well-adjusted" person does during their birthday week: talking about 9/11. 🇺🇸😬

The 25th anniversary ceremony of 9/11 wouldn't be complete without a MAGA vs. MAGA SHOWDOWN - AKA "NEIN 11"- at the Memorial 🇺🇸🤦🏻‍♀️ — pardoned January 6th asshole Jake Lang showed up with a POLICE ESCORT, only to be greeted by another group of Nazis Sieg Heil-ing with a banner that read “JAKE LANG IS A JEW” 😳 while a Mount Vernon firefighter screamed at THEM to “go back to Palestine with that bullshit” and “get out of our country.”

🗣️ MA!!!! THE NAZIS ARE INFIGHTING AGAIN!! 💀🇺🇸 ... These morons have no idea who they hate anymore. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, the RNC held its midterm convention in Dallas, where Republicans focused on the issues people are most desperately worried about... like Hasan Piker’s old thirst trap photo 🤳🏻🤦🏻‍♀️ — even going so far as blurring out his bikini briefs, because... you know... the party of family values and stuff. 🤦🏻‍♀️

And in completely unrelated news, Grindr crashed. 🤳🏻🍆💀 Grindr hasn't seen that much traffic since... well... the last Republican Convention. 📱💀

And while MAGA Senate candidate Ken Rogers is too busy jerking off to Hasan Piker photos at the RNC, his opponent Abdul El-Sayed is busy at the gym BENCHING 315. 🏋🏻‍♂️🥵

Christy has officially endorsed his platform.

And by “platform,” we mean his chest.

Welcome, Abdul, to the LADY SPANK BANK™. 🏦🤤💰

Then 77-year-old Rick Springfield enters the chat looking so ridiculously hot Christy concludes he MUST be drinking baby blood to stay young 🧛🏻‍♂️ — only for us to discover that JESSIE’S GIRL MAY HAVE A BODY COUNT. 😳 Apparently Rick once fired mortars in Vietnam that may have killed a man, proving there was a much easier way to get Jessie out of the picture.

🎶 Why can’t I find a woman like that? 🎶

Because YOU KILLED HER BOYFRIEND IN VIETNAM, RICK. 💀💣

And finally, a Maryland woman wins $150,000 after playing the same lottery numbers for 20 YEARS 💰 — which means after buying three tickets every time for two decades, congratulations girl... YOU FINALLY BROKE EVEN. 😂

Meanwhile, Broadway’s singing waiters are heading into their own WEST SIDE STORY TURF WAR 🎤🔪 as Ellen’s Stardust Diner and newcomer Diner 24 battle for singing-server supremacy... WHO WILL WIN?! WHO WILL GET THE CHOP?! 🎤🔪🍳. Lady Gaga is officially a mother(?) — giving the world BABY GAGA 👶🏻🪩 — and Jelly Roll discovers that playing both sides of the strudel gets you kicked out of the Big Blue Bash at Mar-a-Lago. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yep, just another completely normal week in America.

Like Christy always says — Not my circus. Not my motherfucking clowns. 🤡🇺🇸

See you Monday. 🫶🏻

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EP 25: "LAW & ORDER- Special Teams Unit 🚔🏈"

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino dig through another garbage week in America — LITERALLY — after a San Francisco garbage truck accidentally picked up an ENTIRE HUMAN 🗑️😳… because apparently even Waste Management is like, “fuck it, throw the whole man away.” 🤷🏻‍♀️

And speaking of trash, the NFL is back!!! 🏈🎉 Which means it’s time for LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL TEAMS UNIT 🚔 — Mark “Drunky Brewster” Sanchez conveniently forgot he “butt fumbled” a 69-year-old truck driver and got STABBED 🔪🥴, while Tony “Tipsy Russell” Romo got an ignition lock after an OWI. (How many acronyms do we need for drunk driving? 😵‍💫🚗) At this point, there’s enough criminal activity for the NFL to just change ITS acronym to DUI. 🥴🚗🤷🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, Christy kicks off the season exactly where she left off — longing for Robert Saleh and apparently willing to become his road-game side piece. 🏈🍆🫡

But nobody does drunk sports quite like the late, great Shirley Miller 🍷⛳️, who used to replace the useless clubs in her golf bag with BOTTLES OF WINE… until she was eventually banned from the golf course for drunkenly driving her cart INTO A FUCKING LAKE. 🚗💦

🗣️ THIS IS CHRISTY’S BLOODLINE, PEOPLE.

Meanwhile, the Pentagon apparently wants the Hawk Tuah girl for its influencer army 🤦🏻‍♀️🇺🇸 — because when you think national security, you obviously think “spit on that thang” — Trump is selling wooden nickels 💰🗑️… oops! We mean Trump Dollars… and Dolly Parton finally gets the 9 to 5 recognition she deserves 💖, while the internet collectively reminds Ricky Schroder that disagreeing with Dolly Parton is basically a one-way ticket to HELL. 🔥

On the opposite side of the pond, England says HOLD MY TEA 🇬🇧🫖 and gives children the opportunity to relive one of history’s greatest maritime disasters… THE TITANIC RIDE 😵‍💫🌊🛳️ — which TILTS OVER AND DUMPS THEM OFF THE SINKING SHIP. 🚢🛝💀 And somehow THAT sends Christy and Erik into a full-blown 1997 grievance spiral over Old Rose hoarding a priceless diamond for decades instead of helping her family… only to chuck the motherfucker back into the ocean. 💎🌊

🗣️ FUCK THAT OLD LADY. JUSTICE FOR HER GRANDCHILDREN. 💎🌹

In otter news (see what I did there?), a river otter in Lake Tahoe handed a woman 39 STITCHES 🦦👊🏻… which makes one wonder: “WTF did she do to catch those otter hands?” 🙌🦦

So grab your Trump wooden nickels, hide your golf-cart keys from Shirley, keep your arms and legs inside the Titanic until it has completely sunk, and remember:

DUN DUN. 🚔🏈

It’s LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL TEAMS UNIT… and everybody’s fucking guilty.

PERIODT! 💀💅🏻

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EP 24: "It's What Dolly Would've Wanted"

Mon, 31 Aug 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino are back at the Grisly Pear Comedy Club after a two-month hiatus from Midtown, just in time before Christy turns 56, putting a “pause” on the menopause and returning from Atlantic City smelling like a stale Pall Mall Gold after spending the weekend telling jokes in what can only be described as the ashtray of New Jersey. 🚬🎰🤮

But the real heartbreak this week is the loss of American treasure Dolly Parton 💔😭 — leaving Christy emotionally devastated, Nashville down one saint, and the American wig industry facing its worst year… which leaves the burden on Cher’s wallet.

WE MUST PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS. 🫡

Meanwhile, Dolly’s passing brought out tributes from all across the country… including Ted Cruz, who retweeted “LEGEND” on a Dolly post from an account that instantly changed its name to “Ted Cruz’s Tiny Dick” — FINALLY something I agree with Ted on… LEGEND! 🇺🇸🍆😂

In the FAFO portion of the news, ICE finally deported the right person… gay, right-wing troll Milo Yiannopoulos, who apparently overstayed his visa since 2019. 🛫👋🏻 I’m happy he got EXACTLY what he wanted… BYEEEE!!!!! I have one last thing to say to Milo…

🗣️ YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE!!! 🛫👋🏻

IIn other news, the San Francisco 49ers have decided to kick off the NFL season with a new offensive formation called SEX, SCAMS & SIDE PIECES. 🏈🍆💰

First, billionaire 49ers owner Jed York got busted in an Ohio trailer park allegedly looking for a $160 Hummer — because nothing says RECESSION INDICATOR like an NFL billionaire buying a Dollar Tree blowjob. 😭 To make matters worse for the NFL franchise, there’s the fake 49ers “wide receiver” scamming women online while filming himself in his sad 900-square-foot Sacramento apartment, surrounded by bags of fake shit while wearing a football helmet. 🏈🤡 I CAN’T!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, former 49ers defensive coordinator Robert Saleh abandoned ship to coach the Tennessee Titans… which means Christy has finally found her calling in life: moving to Nashville, living in Dolly Parton’s wig room and becoming Robert Saleh’s side piece.

It’s what Dolly would’ve wanted. 🫡🇺🇸

And finally, this week’s BAD IDEAS department was working OVERTIME 🤦🏻‍♀️ — a Roomba caught a cheating wife and somehow sent her husband to jail, Good Good Golf thought SHOVING A WOMAN TO THE GROUND would make a great commercial ⛳️😳, and Target decided ending DEI last year wasn’t enough to bury themselves… they doubled down and released a MINSTREL Halloween costume 😒🚩 You know, for the children. 🤦🏻‍♀️🎃

In other weird news, a Virginia doctor woke up with a BAT trying to crawl into her mouth 🦇😮, there was a four-hour manhunt in Indiana for a lion that may or may not even exist 🦁, and 120 containers of cheese balls spilled across the 105 freeway in L.A. — it’s nice to see snacks are offered while sitting in traffic. 🧀🚗💨

Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Navy Yard has a rave problem, Christy is headed to Tennessee in Dolly Parton’s wig to blow Robert Saleh, and honestly…

IT’S WHAT DOLLY WOULD’VE WANTED. 🫡🇺🇸

See you next week, fuckers. 🫶🏻

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EP 23: WAYYYY Above Our Pay Grade"

Mon, 24 Aug 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino decide America has been depressing enough lately, so they attempt something completely above and beyond the scope of this podcast: TALKING ABOUT HAPPY SHIT.

It does not go well. 💀🤣🎤

Instead, Drunken Diamond David Lee Roth is still out there terrorizing audiences with his old-school Van Halen schtick… 🗣️ GO HOME, GRANDPA! YOU’RE SCARING THE CHILDREN! 👴🏻🍺🎤

Belgium found their new Prince at the used car lot, a NJ Transit conductor had to go WAY ABOVE his pay grade and dig a lady’s wedding ring out of the train toilet… now his hand actually smells like New Jersey 💍💩, and who knew Confederate cannonballs wrapped in paper towels were TSA approved? 🤷🏻‍♀️💣 The more you know… 🌈🤦🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, Trump has apparently acquired his very own Single White Female in Natalie “Human Printer” Harp 😳🖨️ — she’s basically his very own Roomba, following him everywhere… literally EVERYWHERE. 🚽⛳️✈️

🚩🚩🚩 HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO CREEP OUT DONALD TRUMP?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

And somewhere Melania is quietly going, “Good. Now maybe I don’t have to change his diaper anymore. Be Best.” 💀

Jefferson Starship has become a retirement community karaoke band, Gene Simmons of KISS is now barely a HUG at State Fairs 🤘🏻👴🏻, Real Housewives’ kids are coming up with new gym exercises 🏋🏻‍♀️😬, AOC froze her eggs 🥚❄️… and Christy’s are apparently still being delivered fresh four weeks before her 56th birthday. 😩🩸

🗣️ THESE ARE COLLECTOR’S ITEMS, PEOPLE… GET ’EM WHILE YOU CAN!!! 😂

Turns out “happy shit” was WAYYY above our pay grade. 💀🎤

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EP 22: "Paging Mr. Sal Monella"

Mon, 17 Aug 2026 20:30:00 GMT

After a two-week hiatus, I’ll TellYa Dis is BACK — and apparently America used our time off to become an even bigger fucking dumpster fire. 🤦🏻‍♀️🔥 (who knew she could top herself?)

Christy Miller and Erik Marino return to discover the troops on the USS Abraham Lincoln are being starved down to their original birth weight, the lettuce has diarrhea, the jalapeños have salmonella, GROK wants to "Control-Alt-Delete" its creator, measles is launching a national comeback tour, airplanes are literally "coming together as one," the Lakers have been sold to the most corrupt bidder, and Joe Rogan is JUST NOW discovering that Donald Trump JUST MIGHT NOT BE on the up-and-up 🤔...

🗣️ BRO. WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! 😩🤦🏻‍♀️

What a 💩 show we live in! “Paging Mr. Sal Monella…” ☎️🌶️ because we definitely need to click our heels and get TF outta Oz. 👠🌪️

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EP 21: "Silicone Valley of the Dolls"

Mon, 27 Jul 2026 20:45:00 GMT

This week on I'll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral into yet another week proving that artificial intelligence may be advancing... but actual intelligence has clearly been hacked. 🤦🏻‍♀️💻

The duo breaks down yet another "pray the gay away" pastor getting caught "allegedly" soliciting a minor online (because what else would he be doing? 🙄), politicians continuing to cement their place in the LGOPBTQ+ community by getting caught doing the absolute most in the absolute least amount of time, and why AI chatbots have turned GenZ relationships into the weirdest thruples ever 😒🙄🤨

Meanwhile... some high schools are entering their "OnlyFans Era" by putting AI-powered sex doll robots in classrooms as "teacher's aides"... 🤖😳🤦🏻‍♀️ (suddenly nobody's cutting class 🤔), Sam Altman's OpenAI chatbot literally attacked another AI company, Hugging Face, completely unprovoked (if you ask us it sounds like just a good ol' case of sibling rivalry 😂), contaminated coffee joins diarrhea lettuce in America's ongoing FDA 💩 show, an abandoned monkey turns up in a laundry bag on a London bus 🐒🚌, Pete Hegseth remains weirdly obsessed with roided-up dudes 💪🏻🙄, and last but certainly not least... ol' back-from-the-dead Chuck Norris is firing off chicken fingers because...

CHUCK YEAH! 🍗💥

So basically... the future is here. Unfortunately, so are the people. 🤦🏻‍♀️

See you next week... assuming the robots don't replace us first. 😳🤖🎙️

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EP 20: "Operation: Roid Rage"

Mon, 20 Jul 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I'll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral through another week proving civilization has officially entered its "What the Actual Fuck?" era.

Pete Hegseth wants to roll out "Operation: Roid Rage" for our troops 💉🙄 (after watching him struggle to bench 135 lbs., I think he's the one who should try it. 🤦🏻‍♀️) Meanwhile, Andrew Tate is being extradited to the UK and will finally get to experience firsthand that "no means no." (I'll take "Karma" for $400, Alex.) And in other news, a 110-year-old pipe exploded on Sunset Blvd., leaving a massive sinkhole in West Hollywood... which means somewhere, at least one dude immediately asked, "Can I fuck it?" 🤦🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, lettuce is the new cleanse, causing explosive diarrhea 🥬💩 (still cheaper than Ozempic. 💀), data center copper wire is the new catalytic converter, a guy climbed into a porta potty to rescue his Mountain Dew 🚽🤢 (BRUH!), and five parrots at a UK zoo had to be separated for cussing out visitors (are we sure they ain't from New York? 🦜😂)

So basically... we're all living in the dumbest timeline imaginable.

See you next week... assuming humanity doesn't get recalled first. 🫶🏻

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EP 19: "Grumpy Old Broads"

Mon, 13 Jul 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Erik Marino called out sick so Christy Miller made the catastrophic decision to hand a microphone to Janice Messitte… and absolutely nobody was prepared for what happened next. 💀😂

What was supposed to be another week of asking “what in the dumpster fire hell happened this week?” immediately drove through the guardrail as Janice — who has the comedic recall of a haunted jukebox in a nursing home — unleashed 62 years of unfiltered thoughts, unsolicited rhymes and something from 1974 she had ready to go. 🗣️ ALWAYS. A. FUCKING. RHYME.

Christy desperately attempts to steer the show through Lindsey Graham leaving the chat, subway personal space, Kathy Griffin’s 22-year-old boyfriend, gang member Fight Club, Chinese restaurants fining parents for their asshole children and a man falling 12 feet into a manhole… while Janice repeatedly hijacks the conversation with meat curtains, nursing homes, removable teeth and whatever the fuck entered her brain four seconds earlier. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Meanwhile, Prince the three-legged dog heckles the entire episode, Christy accidentally becomes Erik and realizes THIS IS WHAT HE GOES THROUGH EVERY WEEK, and every attempt to ask Janice about her career ends somewhere near Hunts Point with a rhyme and a Venmo request for $5. 💀💵

Basically, Erik got sick and civilization lost custody of the podcast.... Get well soon, Erik. We understand you now. 😂🫶🏻

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EP 18: "Read the Room! 🤦🏻‍♀️"

Mon, 06 Jul 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I'll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino somehow survive another week of American absurdity after the Fourth of July 💩 show tried to wipe out society one exploding firework, heatstroke, and celebrity PR stunt at a time... because, 'Murica. 🇺🇸💀🧨

While 67 people collapsed from the heat at the so-called "Great American State Fair," Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce shut down Midtown Manhattan for a wedding that somehow made the tragic MET Gala seem almost relatable... because apparently nothing says "read the room" like a tone-deaf billionaire romance in a low-income economy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell is MIA (again 😬... he's probably ⚰️), a New Jersey congressman vanished for four months (did anyone even notice? 🤷🏻‍♀️), Joey Chestnut consumed another 66 hot dogs in the name of patriotism and clogged arteries, and Erik's ongoing mouse problem took a psychedelic turn after one of his mice allegedly ate a mushroom capsule... so if Splinter shows up with four Ninja Turtles, don't say we didn't warn you. 😂🐭🍄🐢

Plus, Christy shares the unexpected breakthrough she finally experienced after 30 years in stand-up comedy, proving that sometimes your biggest career milestone arrives six months late... thanks, menopause. 🤣💀

If we survive another week of freedom, fireworks, and whatever the hell this country is doing, we'll see you next Monday. 🫶🏻

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EP 17: "Civilization Has Left The Building 👀😂"

Mon, 29 Jun 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral through another week proving humanity should probably lose its operating privileges after Christy nearly evacuated her apartment at 2AM when exploding lithium batteries in the hidden rickshaw lot behind her apartment building (Erik calls it a pedicab lot… to-may-to/to-mah-to, east coast/west coast… whatever 🙄) turned Midtown Manhattan into a literal dumpster fire 🔥🚒… and at these prices, we can’t afford to burn the whole city down 😩😂

Meanwhile the comedy industry continues proving it has a completely separate set of rules for women 🤦🏻‍♀️, Carlos Mencia apparently stole more than just jokes 💸, Texas somehow LOST AN ENTIRE GIRAFFE for two weeks 🦒👀 (🗣️ 2 WEEKS, TEXAS!!! Getchyo’ life together!!!!), and the Great American State Fair officially entered its Public Masturbation Era because apparently dignity is no longer federally funded 🇺🇸💀 — what a bunch of jerk offs… literally 💀

At this point civilization has left the building… See you next week. 🫶🏻

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EP 16: "Free Dumb 250 🇺🇸🤦🏻‍♀️💀"

Mon, 22 Jun 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral through another week of American absurdity after Freedom 250 officially kicked off with all the energy of expired mayonnaise, confirming the White (Trash) House has fully entered its Jerry Springer era 😒🙄🤨 The same “GET OFF MY LAWN” dipshits spent the weekend on the White House lawn jerking off to UFC while America died in real time 🇺🇸💀

In other news, Pete Hegseth got bullied by a bench press 🏋🏻‍♂️💀, Kid Rock is threatening us with an early retirement (he’s still here? 🤔), Darwinism and TikTok challenges continue proving evolution was a mistake, and insecure “men” continue doing the absolute most with the very least (IYKYK ⚽️⚽️)

America is officially turning 250 this year… unfortunately mentally we’re about 7.

See you next week. 🇺🇸🤦🏻‍♀️

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EP 15: "Ultimate Fascist Championship"

Mon, 15 Jun 2026 06:18:43 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral after Donald Trump celebrated his BIG BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY by transforming the White House lawn into a live-action fascist tailgate party complete with Freedom 250 — a UFC spectacle proving America has officially entered its Monster Energy-sponsored dictatorship era.

Unfortunately, we recorded before the event happened, so stay tuned for next week when we break down whatever fresh hell unfolded at this absolute 💩 show.

And because America clearly hadn’t suffered enough this week, Tony Hinchcliffe dropped his Netflix special Man of the People and reminded everyone that apparently being an aggressively unfunny hack still gets you a Netflix special 🤦🏻‍♀️ Dream big, kids!!!

If America survives this caucasity… we’ll see you then. 🫶🏻

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EP 14: "Who's Manz Is Dis?"

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino kick off Pride Month in the only way they know how: Erik crushed a fetish show in Scranton while Christy let it all out at a gay comedy show in the East Village. Meanwhile, a Bronx funeral home allegedly pulled the ol’ “Switch-a-Roo” with a corpse, which immediately begged the question: “WHO’S MANZ IS DIS?” 💀⚰️

As for the Knicks… Trump showing up for Game 3 of the Finals at MSG has the entire city preparing to scream “WHO’S MANZ IS DIS???” after realizing his cursed courtside energy COULD tank the best Knicks season in decades 🤦🏻‍♀️🗣️ Melania, come get your man! Actually… Melania would probably pull a Mariah Carey and say “I don’t know heem.” (We will have a full follow-up report next Monday.)

Meanwhile, Vanilla Ice is somehow STILL the only one IN for the Freedom 250 while everyone else — including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson — is OUT (whew… Christy almost had to end the relationship 💀💅🏻).

It’s seriously giving Great American societal collapse realness 💅🏻

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EP 13: "The Great American State Fail"

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral headfirst into America’s latest humiliation circus after the “Great American State Fair” lineup starts collapsing faster than the U.S. economy 🤦🏻‍♀️

What was supposed to be a patriotic 250th birthday celebration for America somehow turned into The Titanic… everybody jumped ship except Flo Rida, half of Milli Vanilli, and Freedom Williams (who went into full defensive mode while sitting on the toilet 🚽… pretty symbolic of his career if you ask us 💀). Now the entire thing is slowly turning into a MAGA dumpster fire while the rest of America watches in horror.

The duo dives into:

• the MAGA music festival disaster

• UFC fights on the White House lawn 🙄

• Kevin Hart roast fallout

• Byron Allen replacing late night TV with “comedy wallpaper”

• Knicks playoff “hysteria” 😒🚩

It’s political exhaustion, cultural collapse, bug infestations, and balls-to-the-face sports commentary…

It’s giving Great American State Fail realness 💅🏻🇺🇸💀

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EP 12: "Victimese"

Mon, 25 May 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino survive a comedy show meltdown in Astoria that ended with hecklers getting physically thrown out, beer pitchers flying, and Erik rage-walking the 59th Street Bridge questioning his entire existence… while Christy gets stuck playing comedy mafia fixer after the audience turned the show into Road House 2.

Where was Patrick Swayze when we needed him?

(Oh yeah… he’s dead. Completely useless.)

Meanwhile, an innocent birthday party of 20 somehow got trapped in the middle of the melee, so wherever you are… Happy Birthday, girl. Sorry your celebration turned into a live-action bar fight.

Then the duo dives headfirst into the internet’s latest comedy civil war after Chelsea Handler’s viral Kevin Hart roast triggered a legendary 5-page Facebook manifesto from comedian Craig Shoemaker… aka “Victimese: The Series.”

Hey Craig… why you mad, bro? NO ONE mentioned your name.

The episode spirals through:

toxic comedy ego wars
bitter old comics
Kevin Hart becoming unrelatable
Instagram troll warfare
Cameo roast services
and why comedians should probably never log onto Facebook again.

It’s angry.

It’s petty (like me 💀💅🏻)

It’s therapeutic.

And somehow… still deeply stupid.

I’ll TellYa Dis… if your Facebook post needs five screenshots, it’s already a manifesto… save us all the headache and log off… for good.

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EP 11: "The Daytona 500...Dollar Gig"

Mon, 18 May 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino welcome Florida comic and comedy club owner Cristy B for a chaotic deep dive into the Daytona comedy scene, road comic survival, dirty standup, New York culture shock, homeless “surge pricing,” retirement communities, Ozempic, and why not all comedians should legally be allowed back on the road.

Cristy B shares how she accidentally became a comedy club owner, what it’s like booking comics in Florida, and why every touring comic eventually ends up one bad decision away from Daytona Beach.

It’s reckless.

It’s inappropriate.

It’s emotionally unstable.

I’ll TellYa Dis… Florida comedy has its own NASCAR:

Not All Standup Comics Are Respectable…

…and that’s exactly why Florida books them.

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Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oSVg-_hnibQ

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EP 10:"The Lost Episode – Part 1"

Mon, 11 May 2026 20:30:00 GMT

⚠️ THIS EPISODE HAD TO BE RECORDED TWICE ⚠️

The first recording vanished into the void because the video didn’t record… so instead of giving up, Christy Miller and Erik Marino re-recorded the entire episode and accidentally created a comedic parallel podiverse.

Now there are TWO versions of this week’s breakdown:

🎧 The audio-only “lost timeline”

📺 This cursed alternate reality

This episode spirals through:

* Spirit Airlines flying the coop (literally)

* BedJet “sponsorship”

* LonelyFans & creepy Cameos

* Netflix Is A Joke crash-outs

* Cybertruck recalls

* World Cup ticket insanity

* Trevor Noah betrayal

* bad sleep

* worse moods

* and two comedians hanging on by a thread

The weird part?

Some jokes survived both versions.

Others disappeared forever.

Which ones?

You’ll have to tune in to find out.

So watch this version…

then go listen to the audio version, compare timelines like a psychopath, and leave us a comment:

Should we do this “accidental mistake” again?

Welcome to the Podiverse.

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EP 9: "NOBODY CARES. BE FUNNY."

Mon, 04 May 2026 20:30:00 GMT

This week on I’ll TellYa Dis: three gigs, three wildly different outcomes.

Erik drives to Pittsburgh to open for a friend… and bombs 💣

Tony Hinchcliffe comes off a Netflix high and a week later hits Atlantic City—reads his entire set off his phone… and bombs 💣

And Christy closes out a Cinco de Mayo private event by absolutely crushing the room… then barely makes it off stage in one piece—to drop a bomb 💣🚽

All is fair in life and comedy: nobody cares—just be funny.

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EP 8: "I’m Ready to Date (Unfortunately)"

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this week's episode of I'll TellYa Dis, Christy and Erik find a grown man’s Facebook dating announcement… and decide to read him for filth 💀💅🏻

A 38-year-old comic declares he’s “finally ready” to date women in entertainment—as if headliners have been waiting for permission—and gets immediately clocked for having feature energy with delusional confidence. The “male loneliness epidemic” pulls up loud, thirsty, and typing essays no one asked for.

We break down every red flag: “I’ll allow myself to date creatives,” “I have a couple crushes,” and of course the industry classic—“wanna write together?” (translation: absolutely not). If you’ve ever wondered what desperation sounds like with punctuation, this is it.

Also: quiet crowds that feel like art exhibits, realizing you’ve officially become the retro reference, scam podcasts, chaotic celebrity nonsense, and why dating comics is less romance and more career self-sabotage.

No filters. No sympathy. No survivors... We'll TellYa Dis!

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EP 7: "Town Hall Comedy Tour"

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this week’s episode of I’ll TellYa Dis, Erik gets butchered by a comedy production that edited his set into a hostage video—so Christy weighs in on whether to fight back or burn it all down. Meanwhile, Doug Stanhope solves the “no stage time” problem by hijacking town halls (honestly, genius), Caitlyn Jenner gets the passport she voted for, and young white comics STILL trying to say the N-word… because writing jokes is hard.

We also get into Dave Chappelle crashing out over a photo with Lauren Boebert, claiming she “weaponized” his trans jokes against him—welp, if that ain’t the pot gaslighting the kettle 😒🤨

Oh—and it’s 4/20… which also happens to be Adolf Hitler’s birthday. So yeah… pick your celebration wisely.

All’s fair in comedy and bombing… or is it? 😂

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EP 6: "Industry Hazards"

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this episode of I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy and Erik dive into the industry’s worst-kept secrets—predators, red flags, and why the friend zone might be the only safe space in comedy. If there’s one thing 30 years in comedy taught Christy, it’s this: DATE CIVILIANS! 🤦🏻‍♀️… and lock the green room door 🚪💀. Plus, Erik’s subconscious is still trying to impress Lorne Michaels… even in his dreams 🤦🏻‍♀️

All’s fair in comedy… read the room—don’t date it.

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EP 5: "Before I Go...🤨"

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this episode of I’ll Tell Ya Dis!, my comedy sister (or as we call each other, my “hersband”), Janice Messitte fills in this Easter weekend for Erik Marino.

We kick things off by disrespecting Easter the only way we know how—zero respect 💀😇🐣… then dive straight into the real resurrection story—two seasoned vets in a room full of follower-famous headliners 💀.

We talk ageism in stand-up and what it really looks like trying to stay relevant in a younger, follower-driven comedy scene.

From viral comics headlining without the stage time, to the crowd work delusion epidemic, to navigating this business at 55 and 62—we’re saying the quiet part out loud.

And like every comic who ignores the light… “Before we go…”—we’re just getting started.

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EP 4: "Artificial Unintelligence"

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this week’s episode of I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy and Erik discuss the AI robot that did stand-up at the Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, TX last weekend—and we heard it KILLED 😂… it must've sucked to get upstaged by a Roomba 💀.

We also get into Christy’s love of trolling her own comment section (roasting trolls is her new kink 😂💀), and Erik’s toxic texts from wannabe comedians 😒🚩… you’re not gonna wanna miss this one.

All’s fair in comedy and bombing… or is it? 😂

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EP 3: "I Killed Last Night!"

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this week’s episode of I’ll Tellya Dis, Christy and Erik dish on Bert Kreischer’s bus going up in flames “for no apparent reason” 😒🚩, a comedy club owner who took “I killed last night” a little too literally 😳, and we reminisce about Dane Cook and Dave Chappelle treating the light like a “suggestion”… for 24 hours straight 🤨. Oh—and SNL casually franchises itself to the UK… (wait, we’re sending this abroad? God save the King 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Comedy Rule 101: “before I go…” is a lie—and the light is just a suggestion. 💀

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EP 2: "Witless Protection Program"

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 20:30:00 GMT

On this week's episode of I'll Tellya Dis, Erik and Christy discuss the age old question, Remember when the only HR in comedy was “That's a 'YOU' problem”? Well, we sure do 😩. Before cancel culture, comedy clubs had no HR—just chaos, bad decisions and questionable life choices 😭💀. Back in the 90s, if something went sideways the advice was simple: "deal with it" or "toughen up, buttercup"... We reminisce about the wild 90s stand-up scene and how comedy somehow mutated into a world where one joke can turn into a career-ending tweet.

Because in comedy there’s only one rule: say it funny or don’t say it at all.

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EP 1: "Welcome to the Show! : Comedy Clubs, Glory Holes & Ghost Stories"

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 22:53:52 GMT

In the first episode of I’ll Tellya Dis!, comedians Christy Miller and Erik Marino kick things off with a look at the strange rules and culture of comedy clubs. Erik shares the story of getting kicked out of a club Christy was performing at because comics who aren’t on the lineup apparently aren’t allowed to hang around anymore. That leads to a comparison with their time at The Comedy Store, where the opposite problem existed—too much space and every comic in Los Angeles hanging out all night. Plus: stories about Gallagher, the ghosts of the Comedy Store, and the moment D.L. Hughley learned what a “glory hole” is.

So why don't you “Pull up a chair… we’ll tellya dis.”

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