Paleo Bites

Polacanthus, the One with Many Spikes

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/polacanthus/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Polocanthus… barely. Just a headsup, there’s a lot of tangents in this one, and there’s even more in the unedited version, which you can find on the Patreon. Fun times! This show is so professional. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot nodosaurid had multiple spikes; many, one might say. Honestly, what else did you want to hear about Polacanthus? Its name sums it up pretty well, I’d say! Be happy with what you got.

Want to further support the show? Subscribe to our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdXnbmbdvKBVoUexcFBgMNQ for ad-free episodes, and sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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Mapusaurus, the Lizard of the Earth

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://paleontologyworld.com/sites/default/files/styles/Mapusaurus_0.png)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Mapusaurus, a dinosaur with a name that sounds like Borat describing a dinosaur made out of his crap. “Mah poo saurus!” Except it’s actually named for the indigenous Mapuche people in South America, so stop making crass jokes like that, you racist. From the Late Cretaceous, this 40-foot carcharodontosaurid had some pretty good evidence of social behavior, even perhaps pack-hunting. Because the only thing that would be worse than encountering one of the biggest meat-eating land animals of all time is encountering a gang of his closest gym buddies. They’d all start a podcast, and it’d be horribly racist, much like the joke at the beginning of this description.

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Hydrodamalis gigas, the Steller's Sea Cow

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.britannica.com/animal/sea-cow)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Joel Rick discuss Hydrodamalis gigas, a manatee but big. Well, technically it was more closely related to dugongs, but y’all don’t know what those are and manatees get more clicks. From the Late Pleistocene to the Early Holocene, this 30-foot sirenian was a big player in the Ice Age and made it all the way to the eighteenth century… which means you probably can guess what happened next and why it’s extinct. Damn humans. I’m ashamed to be one of them. Maybe AI actually should take over the world…

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Palaeophis, the Ancient Snake

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/spinojp/art/Palaeophis-colossaeus-drinking-915269375)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Palaeophis, a literal sea serpent that was the biggest water snake to ever exist. Titanoboa who? That's what I thought. From the Early Paleocene to the Late Eocene, this 35-foot snake looked at the mosasaurs from the period past and was like “Heh, I can do that too, but slightly less big.” And it did! It’s nice sometimes to know your place enough to not always aim for the top. A comfortable C+. It’s what got me through college.

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Plateosaurus, the Broad Lizard

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Plateosaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Plateosaurus, a biggish bipedal herbivore and perhaps the biggest Triassic dinosaur, although not the biggest Triassic land animal as that goes to something like Lisowicia or Sillosuchus or some crap. From the Late Triassic, this 30-foot basal sauropodomorph has a name that either means Broad Lizard or Flat Lizard; no one knows for sure because the original author of the paper didn’t detail what the name meant. If he didn’t care enough to explain why he named it, why should you care about it you might ask? I honestly have no idea. Go listen to something else.

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Danuvius, of the Celtic River God

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.sci.news/othersciences/anthropology/danuvius-guggenmosi-07779.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Danuvius, an ape that might have been the missing link between swinging through the trees, walking on the ground, and walking on two legs. That’s a lot of links we found in one animal. From the Early Miocene, this 3-foot-tall hominid basically swung on the ground on low vines while walking, kind of like a baby on one of those up-and-down jumper things. You know what I’m talking about, those jumping-baby-up-and-downs? That’s the technical term, yes. This is a professional show.

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Rapetosaurus, the Malagasy Giant Lizard Again

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.irishnews.com/lifestyle/2023/05/17/news/new_series_of_prehistoric_planet_brings_dinosaurs_back_to_life-3281275/)

In this fifth episode of Paleo Paleo Bites, where the show takes a month off releasing new episodes so Matthew Donald can rebuild a backlog of episodes to release later (I’ve got holiday plans, okay?! Leave me alone, you Krampus!) and digs up older episodes to rerelease and keep the demons I sold my soul to in order to keep this show running satisfied, host Matthew Donald and co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Rapetosaurus. It’s a big longneck. What do you expect? It’s actually not even that big compared to other longnecks. Boy, I’m sure selling this hard, huh? See with you new episodes in 2026!

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Proa, the Prow of Val de Arino Again

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/ornithopod-dinosaur-pictures-and-profiles-4043320)

In this fourth episode of Paleo Paleo Bites, where the show takes a month off releasing new episodes so Matthew Donald can rebuild a backlog of episodes to release later (I got a life outside this show, believe it or not!) and digs up older episodes to rerelease and keep the weekly content consumers happy, host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Proa. Proa? I barely even know-a. That’s a quality joke. See you with new episodes in 2026!

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Albertosaurus, the Alberta Lizard Again

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/albertosaurus-mohamad-haghani.html)

In this third episode of Paleo Paleo Bites, where the show takes a month off releasing new episodes so Matthew Donald can rebuild a backlog of episodes to release later (this show has been consistent for over half a decade at this point, give me a break) and digs up older episodes to rerelease and keep the weekly release record going, host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Albertosaurus. Three guesses where it’s from, and the first two don’t count. No, not Mt. Elbert, you idiot. See you with new episodes in 2026!

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Orkoraptor, the Toothed River Thief Again

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://jurassicdna.com/dino-tracker/orkoraptor/)

In this second episode of Paleo Paleo Bites, where the show takes a month off releasing new episodes to Matthew Donald can rebuild a backlog of episodes to release later (it takes a lot to keep the weekly release of this show going for 6+ years!) and digs up older episodes to rerelease and thus keep the algorithm gods satisfied, host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Orkoraptor. It’s a raptor ork. That’s pretty cool. WAAAAAAGH! That was a 40k reference. See you with new episodes in 2026!

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Tullimonstrum, the Monster of Francis Tully Again

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeBeforeUs/comments/147x7b2/tullimonstrum_gregarium_the_enigmatic_tully/)

In this first episode of Paleo Paleo Bites, where the show takes a month off releasing new episodes so Matthew Donald can rebuild a backlog of episodes to release later (life is hard, yo) and digs up older episodes to rerelease and thus keep the content farm going, host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Tullimonstrum. I mean… just look at it! It’s so crazy that this thing existed. Or maybe it didn’t. Oooooh. See you with new episodes in 2026!

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Borealopelta, the Northern Shield

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://novataxa.blogspot.com/2017/08/borealopelta.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Borealopelta, a stout armored bugger that would have been mediocrely notable if it weren’t for, I dunno, have literally the best preserved fossil of all time? Seriously, the mummification made it so we could even see its organs. There’s no joke here, that’s just damn cool. From the Early Cretaceous, this 18-foot nodosaur is so well preserved that we know its color, a reddish-brown built for camouflage. Seriously, what the hell did this thing need camouflage for?! Were those spikes made of taffy? This fossil seriously shocked me so much that I forgot that it lived far before Albertosaurus and kept saying in the episode that Albertosaurus could have maybe preyed on it, so sorry about that.

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Miragaia, of the Earth Goddess

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Miragaia)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Miragaia, a long-necked stegosaur that could be mistaken for a sauropod, as long as one ignored those spikes and plates. They blend in, so I get it. From the Late Jurassic, this 20-foot stegosaur is currently in the crosshairs of big bad paleontologists like Jack Horner threatening to absorb it into the genus Dacentrurus, which look, I know it’s science and science should persist no matter our personal desires, but c’mon, Miragaia is a cool name! Don’t invalidate it! I still have difficulties pronouncing that “ruru” in Dacentrurus.

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Hypsilophodon, the High-Ridged Tooth

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Hypsilophodon-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Hypsilophodon, a tiny dinosaur with an unremarkable appearance and a ridiculously convoluted taxonomical history. Just what our listeners have always wanted: a boring dinosaur with complicated info. Yay! From the Early Cretaceous, this 8 foot neornithoschian dinosaur was once thought to be related to a bunch of other boring dinosaurs that look like it, but it turns out nah, that boring plan they all came up with independently. That’s cool I guess.

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Peteinosaurus, the Winged Lizard

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.dreamstime.com/peteinosaurus-reptile-tail-was-carnivorous-flying-pterosaur-lived-italy-triassic-period-image156432121)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Peteinosaurus, an early pterosaur that’s notable in that it’s an early pterosaur and nothing else. Have you seen a small pterosaur? Then you’ve seen Peteinosaurus. I’m really selling this episode, huh? From the Late Triassic, this 4-foot-wingspan eopterosaurid might have been an early dimorphodontid, whatever that’s worth. Man, I don’t mean to be too harsh on this guy, I’m sure he’s a lovely fellow. I’d love to have beers with him someday.

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Dalyia, the Clustered One

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalyia)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Nobody McNooneson discuss Dalyia, a creature that no one gives a damn about so it functions perfectly as doubling up as an apology and explanation for what happened to Paleo Bites-oween and why it ended early. I pity the poor singular Dalyia fan that was really excited when this popped up in their feed and were like "YEAAAAAH, finally some recognition!" I look forward to their angry email. From the Late Cambrian, this worm-like organism of an indeterminate size is also known as the Clustered One with its species name racemata, making it the perfect metaphor for my situation and me as a whole. I'm the clustered one. That's deep, guys.

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Purgatorius, of Purgatory Hill

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/did-ancient-primates-walk-alongside-dinosaurs-new-evidence-backs-up-theory)

Happy Paleo Bites-oween, where we will host Halloween themed episodes all week, every day! On this fourth day of Paleo Bites-oween, this one on actual Halloween (but don’t worry, the celebration of Paleo Bites-oween will last the whole week still) host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Purgatorius, a tiny squirrel-like mammal that seems innocent enough until you learn that it eventually evolved into the most terrifying monster of all… HUMANITY. AAAAGH! Yes, humans are the real monsters. I’ve read Frankenstein. From the Early Paleocene, this 6-inch primatomorph survived the meteor that killed the dinosaurs and then kept on surviving until it became us. See, it’s Purgatorius because up until it survived and evolved into later representatives in the human ancestry, it had a choice between Heaven or Hell, and by choosing to continue to evolve into humans, it chose Hell.

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Zuul, the Destroyer of Shins Again

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Zuul-picture)

Happy Paleo Bites-oween, where we will host Halloween themed episodes all week, every day! On this third day of Paleo Bites-oween, host Matthew Donald unearths an older Halloween episode from years back to rerelease in all of its glory. Kind of like a fossil. Or a mummy. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ankylosaur had a really big tail club and a really funny name, based off the demon dog from Ghostbusters. And just like Ghostbusters, 100% of this episode was improvised. I can only assume that Ghostbusters had no script and was just the actors riffing, anyway.

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Vampyronassa, the Vampiric Fish Trap

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoric-wiki.fandom.com/wiki/Vampyronassa)

Happy Paleo Bites-oween, where we will host Halloween themed episodes all week, every day! On this second day of Paleo Bites-oween, host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Vampyronassa, a fricking vampire squid… it’s not as cool as it sounds. From the Late Jurassic, this 4-inch vampyromorph cephalopod is basically the same as the one vampire squid species around today, except it lacks retractile filaments. Whatever those are. I don’t have those either, as I have retractile dysfunction. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. I mean, literally, as it’s Paleo Bites-oween.

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Desmodus draculae, the Giant Dracula Bat

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.sportskeeda.com/esports/how-find-desmodus-ark-survival-evolved-fjordur)

Happy Paleo Bites-oween, where we will host Halloween themed episodes all week, every day! On this first day of Paleo Bites-oween, host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Desmodus draculae, the biggest vampire bat ever known and thus a perfect way to start off the spooky season. Except it’s not that spooky. Or that big. It’s actually kind of cute. Look at it, happily licking up that blood from the incision on the Macrauchenia. Dawwww. From the Late Pleistocene, this 2.5-foot-wingspan bat first evolved millions of years ago but might have lived all the way up to the 18th century. I guess it’s those vampire lifespans of theirs. They live forever, after all. I’ve read Twilight.

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Zalmoxes, of the Dacian Deity

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Zalmoxes_FI_38b7.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host… well, there was a guy there, my best friend also named Matt, but he’s already served his time doing Paleo Bites back in the day so he was silent here, discuss Zalmoxes, a teeny iguanodontid that lived on the Romanian islands back in the day and thus underwent island dwarfism. That’s cool. Almost as cool as doing this impromptu episode in the middle of a queue at Universal Studios’ Jurassic Park River Adventure. Equally cool. Take that however you will. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot rhabdodontid probably deserves a bigger episode than this one, but come on, no one actually cares about Zalmoxes, right? Watch as the three Zalmoxes fans rage at me through the Paleo Bites official email… paleobitespodcast@gmail.com, by the way.

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Thanatosdrakon, the Dragon of Death

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://lorosyguacamayos.com.ar/ave-voladora-mas-grande-de-la-historia-dinosaurio/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jaymes Buckman (and their friend Jamie) discuss Thanatosdrakon, a huge pterosaur with a fricking awesome name. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this thing was described in the 90s or early 2000s when everything was super-edgy. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot-wingspan azhdarchid flew and stalked across prehistoric South America like the dragon of death it is… I guess. I mean, it is just an animal still. But what do I know? Nothing. That’s why I host this podcast. I’m qualified.

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Drinker, of Edward Drinker Cope

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Drinker/Drinker_latest_acb4.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cygnus D. Stonewell (the D stands for Dinosaur) discuss Drinker, a dinosaur that’s actually now called Nanosaurus and was absorbed into that genus alongside Othnielosaurus and Laosaurus but hey, “Drinker” will get more clicks so here it is! We live in a capitalistic tar pit that we can never escape, folks. From the Late Jurassic, this 9-foot neornithischian had an interesting taxonomical history as our paleontological knowledge of it increased over the decades, and there is absolutely nothing else interesting about it. Seriously, look at this thing! It’s so boring! I need a drink just looking at it. Song at the end by one of our future overlords Suno AI, while the rest of this episode is, as you probably expected by now, 100% improvised. Now you need a drink, I bet.

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Ikrandraco, the Dragon of the Avatar Banshee

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Ikrandraco-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Ikrandraco, a big flying reptile named after a creature from the highest grossing movie series of all time. “No cultural footprint” my ass! From the Early Cretaceous, this 5-foot-wingspan pterosaur flapped around in its homeland in the two countries we’ve found it in, China and England. You know, those basically nextdoor neighbors. Then again, maybe they took a space bridge to get between them through some Pandoran magic. James Cameron, write that into your next sequel!

Want to further support the show? Subscribe to our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdXnbmbdvKBVoUexcFBgMNQ for ad-free episodes, and sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th, 2024! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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Anurognathus, the Frog Jaw

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://jurassic-world-san-diego.fandom.com/wiki/Anurognathus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Anurognathus, a freaky looking bat-frog thing that’s actually a pterosaur and thus closely related to birds and crocodiles. Nature’s weird, I gotta say. From the Late Jurassic, this 12-inch anurognathid pterosaur ate bugs and flapped its little wings and probably got terrified of moths. That’s just speculation, but it makes sense, right? I’m terrified of moths. I’m also really attracted to them and want them to step on me. Oh wait, those are goths.

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Corythosaurus, the Helmeted Lizard

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://jurassicpark.fandom.com/wiki/Corythosaurus/JW:_E)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Corythosaurus, a duckbilled dinosaur with a helmet on its head… except not so much a helmet, as I doubt it would help much against collisions with street pavement or Ankylosaurus clubs. But hey, maybe it would. I’d welcome being surprised. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot lambeosaurine hadrosaurid is one of the few animals we know how it sounded, as we’ve 3D-printed its skull and blown air through it to simulate the noise those crests would help make. You’ve seen Jurassic Park 3, right? We all have, that classic film. Funnily enough, that’s the only Jurassic Park film this dinosaur is in! It’s almost like destiny.

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Argentinosaurus, the Argentine Lizard

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Argentinosaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Argentinosaurus, a really, really, REALLY big longneck. Like, REALLY big. Oh, and it’s also from Argentina. From the Late Cretaceous, this 100-foot titanosaurid was… goddang, it was SO big! Like seriously, look at it! LOOK AT IT! I am bereft of joke-making capability seeing this thing! At least, even more bereft than I normally am.

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Rhamphorhynchus, the Beak Snout

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Rhamphorhynchus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Rhamphorhynchus, a sea pterosaur with a lot of pointy teeth and even more unnecessary H’s in its name. No word should have that many ‘H’ letters in it, and if you disagree, shhhh! From the Late Jurassic, this six-foot wingspan pterosaur had a big pointy fin at the end of its tail that inspired a lot of dragon art, which is pretty cool. Not as cool as if this thing somehow actually breathed fire, but hey, I’ll take it.

Want to further support the show? Subscribe to our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdXnbmbdvKBVoUexcFBgMNQ for ad-free episodes, and sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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Vaderlimulus, the Horseshoe Crab of Darth Vader

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/ntvtiko/art/Vaderlimulus-tricki-754817629)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Vaderlimulus, a horseshoe crab that looked like Darth Vader, or at least like the top of Darth Vader’s helmet. The hat part of the helmet, you know? I bet this gives great helmet. From the Early Triassic, this 4-inch xiphosuran arthropod was your father… at least if you were the little spawn of one of these things. If not, and you’re just a lousy human, this isn’t your father. In terms of the family tree of life, this thing is closer to your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.

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Kosmoceratops, the Ornate Horned Face

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/kosmoceratops-was-the-frilliest-of-all-the-ceratopsians/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Kosmoceratops, a very horny dinosaur in that it had the most horns of any horned dinosaurs. Although maybe it was also horny in the other sense. What it did in its time is none of my business. From the Late Cretaceous, this 16-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian wasn’t space-themed like its name suggested, which is a shame, as I love the idea of dinosaurs in space. I mean, I guess we’re all in space, aren’t we? Ugh, way to ruin the magic.

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Shunosaurus, the Lizard of the Sichuan Province

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://jurassicpark.fandom.com/wiki/Shunosaurus/JW:_TG?file=Shunosaurus.png)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Shunosaurus, a small longneck dinosaur that’s not very notable except it has a club at the end of its tail. That’s not that notable either, Shunny-boy. I have a club too! A “Cool Dino Fan” club, currently the only members being me and my mom. From the Mid to Late Jurassic, this 35-foot eusauropod sauntered around its marshy Jurassic scrubland while evolving its tail specifically to deal with the most badass of all dinosaurs, my boy Sinraptor. You know my favorite dinosaur is powerful if it forces fricking SAUROPODS to evolve further defensive measures like club tails. I don’t care if that might not be the main reason, because it absolutely is in my book! God, I love Sinraptor so much…

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Hatzegopteryx, the Wing of Hateg Basin

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://image.pbs.org/video-assets/5kg0O0I-asset-mezzanine-16x9-RIS0K1C.png)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Hatzegopteryx, the last shadow the poor dwarf dino islanders of the Hateg basin ever saw. Oh, watch out, Zalmoxes! You’re gonna get et by a jet. From the Late Cretaceous, this 36-foot wingspan azhdarchid pterosaur was basically a giraffe with wings. And a big beak poke of death. And was carnivorous. And could fly. So not really a giraffe. But it looked like one on the ground at least! And was about as big as one, too.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

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"Suciasaurus rex," the State Dinosaur of Washington

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.heraldnet.com/northwest/suciasaurus-rex-named-washington-states-official-dinosaur/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jason Zolle discuss “Suciasaurus rex,” an informally named fossil that’s probably Daspletosaurus or something but that’s not the state dinosaur of Washington, is it? Listen to our episode on that particular genus. Oh wait, we haven’t actually done an episode on Daspletosaurus yet. Someday, though. From the Late Cretaceous, this possible 30-foot tyrannosaur is from a region that’s terrible with fossil retention, what with the wet soil and volcanic activity, so it’s a miracle anything was found there. Washington’s a crazy place, kids. It’s got volcanoes and rain there. And sparkly vampires. And “Suciasaurus rex,” I suppose. Also, apologies for the lower audio quality, it’s just this one episode!

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Hoplitosaurus, the Hoplite Lizard

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(original image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/sauropelta_5c34.jpg)

Happy 300 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Leonychus the Hoplitosaurus, King of the Lakota Formation, discuss (by performing an overly dramatic farcical audiodrama) Hoplitosaurus, a heavily defended creature that fought the encroaching Acrocanthosaurus armies... except that dinosaur was from a different formation and there's no evidence these two species met. But that's why they're encroaching in this fictitious narrative! Madness? This… is… the LAKOTA FORMATION! From the Early Cretaceous, this 10-foot polacanthid nodosaur lived in dense forests with giant pterosaurs likely flying overhead, meaning it would fight in the shade… okay, that’s enough of those references. Except no, there’s never enough. Not when you reach 300 episodes for some godforsaken reason. If you thought you’d get a good episode of this show, you’re in for a wild night. Tonight you dine in HELL!

TRACK LIST:

• 2025 Tension No Copyright Background Music...

• 'The Army of Minotaur' by @Makai-symphony ...

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• 💣 Copyright Free Military Music - "Legionn...

• 🐫 Persian & Desert (Royalty Free Music) - ...

• 🙁 Sad & Orchestral (Free Music) - "FOR THE...

• ⭐ Triumph (Royalty Free Music) - "KNIGHT O...

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Rhizodus, the Rooted Tooth

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Rhizodus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Rhizodus, the largest ever freshwater fish that had so much rizz it lived for 30 million whole years. Rhizodus-dizz, thanks for all the rizz! From the Early Carboniferous, this 20-foot sarcopterygian was actually more closely related to us humans than other fish, although it wasn’t necessarily a direct ancestor, just related. I will personally leave no descendants, so the birthing line from LUCA to me ends with me. Four billion years, and it stops here. You’re welcome, Earth.

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Shantungosaurus, the Lizard of the Shandong Province

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://makerworld.com/en/models/767570-shantungosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Shantungosaurus, a big big BIG duckbilled dinosaur, and in fact the biggest non-sauropod dinosaur ever! Then again, I’m the biggest guy named Matthew who’s written a book called Megazoic. Probably, anyways. From the Late Cretaceous, this 56-foot saurolophine hadrosaurid dealt with its own Chinese version of T. rex called Zhuchengtyrannus, making it a prequel of sorts to the T. rex and Edmontosaurus dynamic of North America. That’s what the best follow-up installments of classics do; take the original characters, and put them in Asia.

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Catactegenys, the Crushing Jaw

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://bit.ly/4kjy8Dk)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Catactegenys, a type of night lizard, which is a group still alive today BUUUUT there’s a really big and exciting study about them involving the big meteor that killed the dinosaurs so it counts. I make the rules! From the Late Cretaceous to the Late Holocene (i.e., right now), this family of squamate reptiles might have been the only terrestrial vertebrates to survive in the vicinity of the Chicxulub impactor in Mexico. Like, right next to it, when everything else got vaporized. How did they do it?! Life is crazy, yo.

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Shuvuuia, the Mongolian Bird

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Shuvuuia-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jaymes Buckman and their boyfriend Toby discuss Shuvuuia, the tiny, quirky desert-dwelling dino-bird-thing that proves you don’t need claws, wings, or teeth to be iconic, just a good sense of direction and a thirst for termites. Yum. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot alvarezsaurid scurried through the Mongolian night with killer hearing and night vision like the prehistoric version of a goth owl. Meanwhile, I had to scurry through the editing process this week because life threw me a boss battle and I’m still waiting on my power-ups. So if you hear any swears without Velociraptor screeches to bleep them out, call it the director’s cut! But at least Paleo Bites’ perfect weekly release streak continues, because when everything else feels chaotic, dinosaurs are the constant. Even though they’re dead. At least the non-avian ones.

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Gallimimus, the Chicken Mimic

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/gallimimus-paleoart-by-me--236087205460103553/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gallimimus, a classic dinosaur and pioneer of the visual effects industry… at least for us humans. I doubt it dabbled in any visual effects work itself. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ornithomimosaur had its big scene in Jurassic Park where it ran in glorious early 90s CGI and revolutionized filmmaking to the woes of anti-CGI film bros everywhere. Also the animal itself was pretty cool too. Sorry, I probably should mention that.

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Enhydriodon, the Otter Tooth

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/676736281530757612/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Enhydriodon, a giant species of otter that you really otter avoid. That’s the kind of humor you should expect on this show. I truly can’t believe we’re nearing 300 episodes. From the Early Pliocene, this 7-foot mustelid was believed to be mostly terrestrial but very comfortable in the water, akin to the tigers of today. So it’s an otter not in the water? What’s the otter with this thing? Again, let me reiterate: THREE. HUNDRED. EPISODES. Of this show. Or at least close to it, anyway.

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Megantereon, the Giant Beast

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/megantereon/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Megantereon, a fairly typical saber-toothed cat with one major claim to fame in that we have direct evidence of it hunting early humans, so any time you think there’s danger in the darkness, you can thank this guy for instilling that instinct into you. Thanks, Megantereon! I really appreciate running upstairs after turning off the basement lights so the Shadow Figure doesn’t get me; that’s peak childhood right there. From the Late Pliocene, this 6-foot machairodontid felid has a name that really isn’t indicative of its actual stature. This thing may be a slightly larger than normal cat, but “giant beast” it ain’t. Unless I also am a giant beast, which I suppose I am. I certainly eat like one, anyway.

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Scleromochlus, the Hard Limb

Tue, 27 May 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Scleromochlus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Scleromochlus, a cute little dude with absolutely nothing remarkable about it on its own and is more interesting in what it evolved into; this guy was in fact an early ancestor of the pterosaurs! Celebrate, all ye boring people, in that eventually you might have more interesting descendents. From the Early Triassic, this 8-inch pterosauromorph archosaur had freakishly long legs and might have hopped all about like a demented frog. I dated someone with freakishly long legs who also hopped all around, it didn’t last long. Ugh, I swear, it’s only a matter of time before these descriptions will be written by ChatGPT.

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FUCA, the First Universal Common Ancestor

Tue, 20 May 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://medium.com/@smartap3s/luca-and-fuca-our-great-great-great-grandmas-7880b0950e53)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jennifer Grossman and Matt’s niece Logan (against his will) discuss FUCA, the original, original life before even LUCA was a thing, which I also covered with Jennifer about two hundred episodes earlier. From the Early Precambrian, this non-cellular entity was actually quite different from LUCA, in that while the latter had cells and enzymes and other biology that makes it more akin to a living organism, FUCA is just a glob of aimless amino acids. We really can’t go back much further than this on this show, which hey, thank God there’s a limit.

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Dromaeosaurus, the Running Lizard

Tue, 13 May 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dromaeosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dromaeosaurus, the namesake of the dromaeosaur family that are more commonly known as “raptors.” Which means Velociraptor is more the namesake of the family, but I’m talking scientifically! “Uh, actually, they’re not raptors, they’re dromaeosaurs.” Gee, thanks, Kyle. From the Late Cretaceous, this 7-foot coelurosaurian theropod had a much stronger bite than Velociraptor by a factor of three and could theoretically take down even bigger prey solo than it too. Poor Dromaeosaurus, always upstaged by Velociraptor not because it was better, but because it had the movie deal. Your big break will come too someday, Dromey.

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Smok, the Polish Dragon

Tue, 06 May 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Smok-(archosaur))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Smok, a basal archosaur that looks like a dinosaur but apparently is not. Look, it looks like one to me, but I ain’t no scientist. You should listen to them instead of this dumb show. From the Late Triassic, this 20-foot reptile was one of the top predators of its day and one of the largest of its time, facing off against the elephant-sized dicynodont Lisowicia while avoiding the rauisuchid Polonosuchus. You know what I noticed? None of those are dinosaurs! I was told in 3rd grade that dinosaurs roamed in three periods in Earth’s history, the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous. This is the Triassic, is it not? Where are all the dinosaurs?! Oh wait, there’s Liliensternus over there. Hi, Liliensternus! You in fact are a dinosaur.

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Dinocrocuta, the Terrible Hyena

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinocrocuta by Dmitry Bogdanov)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dinocrocuta, which is not an awesome dinosaur/crocodile hybrid like the name suggests but is instead some lame hyena thing. Oh wait, it’s actually a fricking enormous hyena thing? Eh, it’s still not as cool as a dinocroc. From the Late Miocene, this 7-foot hyena thing had a bone-crushing bite and fought off saber-toothed cats like Amphimachairodus, which is pretty cool. It’s like Lion King, but prehistoric and with less singing. Not none, but less.

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Kunpengopterus, the Kunpeng Wing

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://marchan-forest.blogspot.com/2021/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Kunpengopterus, a monkey-like pterosaur in that it had opposable thumbs, which is pretty cool I gotta say. There’s no joke there, I genuinely think that’s cool. From the Late Jurassic, this 3-foot wukongopterid was first thought to be just a run-of-the-mill pterodactyloid before the aforementioned thumbs were discovered, and then scientists got all giddy and it got popular again! A monkey-dactyl? That’s freaking awesome! It’s so awesome it’s turned our usual snarky descriptions into sincere excitement! Something’s wrong, we’re acting too positive. We gotta make the next episode’s description extra cynical to rebalance the universe.

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Compsognathus, the Elegant Jaw

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://ar.inspiredpencil.com/pictures-2023/compsognathus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Compsognathus, famously the smallest dinosaur of all but not so famously actually not the smallest dinosaur of all anymore, not even close. It’s been working out, getting yoked and stuff. From the Late Jurassic, this 4.5 foot theropod is now believed to not be part of its own little weird family but closer related to the megalosaurids and might even be even bigger than we think, and it’s already way bigger than I imagined! There’s working out, and then there’s taking ‘roids, Compy. We all see you, you not-so-little fraud.

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Elasmotherium, the Plated Beast

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/elasmotherium/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Elasmotherium, a woolly rhino that’s not the Woolly Rhino but is woolly and is a rhino, so call it whatever you want I guess. From the late Pleistocene, this 18-foot rhinoceratid came equipped with a seriously metal nose horn coming out of its face. Except not literally metal, as like modern rhinos its horn was mainly made out of hair. Isn’t explaining jokes the best?

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Homo sapiens, the Intelligent Man

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/ )

April Fools, puny humans! Host Emperor Splozzitrox, Supreme Ruler of the Planet Zurkabong, and co-host Karzagloth, the underest of underlings, discuss Homo sapiens, the recently exterminated ground vermin that once overpopulated this hunk of space rock named Earth, a backwater planet in the Goozapeg Sector. From the Late Pleistocene to the Late Holocene, this 5-6 foot tall hominid may not have lived the longest, had the sharpest claws or teeth, or run or swim the fastest, but damn if they didn’t make an impact in their short tenure as Earth’s dominant intelligence. Shame about all those reality shows and Minion memes that led to their well-deserved cosmic obliteration.

Special thanks to Matt David Seivert for contributing to this week's episode.

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Megalograptus, the Great Writing

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.darwinsdoor.co.uk/timetour/the-ordovician-period.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megalograptus, another nope of a creature but this time an ocean-bound nope, so it’s slightly more forgivable. Wait, I’ve just been told they can sometimes go onto land anyway? Nope, nope, NOPE! From the Late Ordovician, this 3-foot eurypterid got its bizarre name due to being mistaken for a group of animals whose remains looked like hieroglyphs embedded on the rock, not because it was a great writer or anything. Then again, I’d read a book written by a Megalograptus. What the hell would it be about? “The Crust That Binds Us: A Politico Manifesto on Inter-Arthropod Cooperations.”

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Protoceratops, the First Horned Face

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/things-to-know-protoceratops-1093796)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Protoceratops, a hardy and stocky fellow with a tubby body and a grumpy attitude. I really relate to this creature. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot ceratopsian lived in the desert with the more famous Velociraptor and the two of them really hit it off. They couldn’t keep their claws or beaks off each other. I wonder if anyone’s captured their interactions on video or… stone-agram? Dear god, what is this show?

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Appalachiosaurus, the Appalachian Lizard

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/347129083760903111/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Appalachiosaurus, a tyrannosaur living on the East Coast like some city slicker sellout. Never forget your Western roots here in Laramidia! Remember who you are! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot theropod dinosaur is the only known dinosaur from its formation, as the fossils over there on the eastern side of North America aren’t really the best preserved. Those ice age glaciers eroded them away. There’s no joke here, I’m genuinely sad at the lost dinosaur knowledge. We really need a time machine.

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Ceratosaurus, the Horned Lizard

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Ceratosaurus3_1b79.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ceratosaurus, an almost-famous dinosaur that often gets overshadowed by Allosaurus, which gets overshadowed by Saurophaganax, which just recently got overshadowed again by Allosaurus because the latter is now unfortunately dubious. At least Ceratosaurus itself overshadows poor Torvosaurus. When’s the last time you heard that name? From the Late Jurassic, this 20-foot theropod had a distinctive horn on its nose, which is kinda cool, although I also have a horn on my nose every day at band practice, so it’s not that cool really. I might be playing my horn wrong.

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A. anax, the Usurper of Saurophaganax

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Saurophaganax-Paul-Heaston1_2121.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus anax, the new lord of the lizard eaters after supplanting the great and now dubious Saurophaganax after a hard-fought duel. There is truly no mercy sometimes in the battlefield of science. From the Late Jurassic, this 38-foot theropod was still basically everything we assumed Saurophaganax to be and therefore just as cool in a practical sense, it just now lacks the kickass name and the individuality of its own genus, which ruins everything. Damn you, A. anax! This is officially my Pluto.

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Temnodontosaurus, the Cutting-Tooth Lizard

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://artpictures.club/autumn-2023.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Michele C. Hollow discuss Temnodontosaurus, a rather large marine reptile with potentially the largest eyes of any animal ever at 10 inches wide. Sheesh, my most impressive body part in terms of size is only half that length! From the Early Jurassic, this 30-foot ichthyosaur was discovered by Mary Anning back in the 1810s and was the first ichthyosaur to be scientifically described, which is a neat piece of history. Sometimes this show can be educational! I know, it surprises me too.

You can find more from Michele at https://www.michelechollow.com/

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Hippodraco, the Horse Dragon

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Hippodraco-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Hippodraco, a dinosaur with a funny name that makes me think of hippos, horses, dragons, and a shipping portmanteau between Draco Malfoy and the hippogriff he tried to get killed. What a cacophony of emotions this guy brings out, especially for such a boring dinosaur. From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot iguanodontid was closely related to that one guy Proa we like to bang-on about, which also has a funny name. To think we’re reducing these fascinating paleontological finds with jokes about similar-sounding words and bully wizards banging lion-birds. Paleo Bites has been a real journey, folks.

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Magnolia, of Great Excellence

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/styracosaurus-eating-magnolias-with-lambeosaurus-phil-wilson.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Magnolia, another wonderful example of a prehistoric animal we cover on this show in that it is not an animal and is also still around today. It’s okay to break rules if you’re the one who makes them, kids. From the Mid Cretaceous to the Holocene onward, this plant of variable sizes has big paleontological significance, okay? That’s why we’re covering it! It’s important, I swear! Eh, who am I kidding, you’ve already hit “skip” on your playlist.

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Atlasaurus, the Lizard of the Titan Atlas

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.minizoo.com.au/eofauna-atlasaurus/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Atlasaurus, a lanky and wonky longneck that looks just wrong and quite frankly disgusts me. Look at its proportions, look at it! It’s like if A.I. made a dinosaur. From the Mid Jurassic, this 49 foot sauropod had a shorter neck and more elongated limbs than its cousins like Brachiosaurus, turning it into this abomination. Seriously, I can’t get over how this thing looks. It’s the uncanny valley of longnecks. I want to squeeze and stretch it like play-doh until it’s fixed.

Check out Jaymes at https://www.hotapollo.rocks/

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Lokiceratops, the Horned Face of Loki

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://allthatsinteresting.com/lokiceratops-rangiformis)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Lokiceratops, a dinosaur with asymmetrical horns, much like my relationship with my girlfriend where we’re asymmetrical in our horniness for each other. From the Late Cretaceous, this 22-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid is an example of how bilateral symmetry can be varied among different creatures. I relate, as my left butt cheek is far more swole than my right. I tend to clench more with that one when I’m nervous, you see.

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Austroraptor, the Southern Thief

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austroraptor by Fred Wierum)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Austroraptor, a dromaeosaurid theropod masquerading as a spinosaurid theropod, because that sentence is comprehensible to more than hardcore dino nerds. From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot meat-eating dinosaur snapped up fish in the prehistoric jungles of Argentina, as opposed to Australia like I previously assumed. That’s why I got Ben here to host for me, I thought this was an Aussie! Even though Ben is not an Aussie, but a Kiwi. Eh, they’re all the same to dumb Yanks like me.

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Heterodontosaurus, the Different-Toothed Lizard

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://paleontologyworld.com/dinosaurs-%E2%80%93-species-encycolpedia/heterodontosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Heterodontosaurus, a very heteronormative dinosaur in that it had heterodont (or “differently-shaped”) teeth. Canceled! You’re canceled by the woke police, Heterodontosaurus! Love is love! Just ask Caihong, our rainbow-feathered dinosaur ally. From the Early Jurassic, this 6-foot ornithischian dinosaur lived in South Africa before its later descendants made their way to North America… kind of like another creature that is currently shadow-puppeting our presidency here in the States. Double-canceled, Heterodontosaurus! Go back to X along with your fellow elongated muskrat! No one else wants you!

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Pulmonoscorpius, the Lunged Scorpion

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoricpark.fandom.com/wiki/Pulmonoscorpius)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Pulmonoscorpius, another nope of a nope that crept and crawled and stabbed and stung. Why don't you stay over there and I stay way over here, you big monster? I think that's an arrangement we can all agree on. From the Late Carboniferous, the 2.5-foot scorpion was an active diurnal predator rather than a sneaky nocturnal hider like its modern counterparts, which is good, as that'll make it easier for me to shoot.

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Uintatherium, the Beast of the Uinta Mountains

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/uintatherium-profile-1093289) Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and one of Santa’s elves Snowdrop Jimjam Jollypie discuss Uintatherium, a big hoofed mammal kind of like a rhino but with these weird antler-things on its head like a reindeer on crack. That’s the Christmas connection I’m making, anyway. From the Eocene epoch, this 14-foot dinoceratan stomped about merrily and crushed the skulls of predators much like a toddler crushing fallen Christmas tree ornaments… okay, that was a stretch. At least this once-more 100% improvised episode should go better for Matthew than the Halloween one with the demon, right? What could possibly go wrong this time?!

Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end.

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Capromeryx, the Dwarf Pronghorn

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Capromeryx-minor)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Capromeryx, a teeny-tiny pronghorn with a teeny-tiny amount of information available, perfect for another teeny-tiny bite-sized episode. Dawww. From the Late Pliocene to the Early Holocene, this 2-foot hoofed mammal was among the smallest artiodactyl of all time, being no bigger than a hare. Dawww, what a cutie. So tiny, I bet it could easily be carried off by eagles and ripped apart by its beak and talons midair. Damn, where does my mind go sometimes?

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Psittacosaurus, the Parrot Lizard

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/lucas-attwell/art/Psittacosaurus-meileyingensis-752628599)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Psittacosaurus, an early representative of the dinosaurs that would later become Triceratops and Styracosaurus and the like despite looking almost nothing like one. It has the parrot-like beak I guess. Oh wait, that’s how it got its name! I’m smart. From the Early Cretaceous, this 6-foot basal ceratopsian apparently had a fossilized impression uncovered of its butthole, meaning y’all should be careful with where you park your truck. You never know who might find out about it millions of years later!

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Domeykodactlyus, the Finger of the Cordillera Domeyko

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domeykodactylus by FunkMonk (Michael B. H.))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Domeykodactylus, a pterosaur with a fabulous piece of artwork for it that was the whole inspiration for this episode. We’re nothing if not easily motivated, folks. But seriously, look at that feathery coat! So fly. Haha, get it, “fly,” like pterosaurs did? Eh, forget it. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot wingspan dsungaripterid had a stylish head crest in addition to its fire plumage, meaning this guy was fashionable for sure. It also probably ate fish and laid eggs on cliffs and flew away from dinosaurs and stuff, you know, like a real pterosaur. But hey, let me have fun imagining it as a fashionista!

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Pentaceratops, the Five-Horned Face

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.everythingdinosaur.com/product/haolonggood-pentaceratops-lioutang/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Pentaceratops, a large horned dinosaur just had to one-up Triceratops in the horn quantity department, or technically two-up I guess, since five is two more than three. I’m mathing! From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsid actually really had three horns like most other chasmosaurines, it just had highly pronounced cheekbones that were mistaken for additional horns. Wow, this thing tried to two-up Triceratops by cheating! Shameful, Pentaceratops, shameful.

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Notharctus, the False Bear

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Notharctus-tenebrosus-948425598)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Notharctus, a lemur-like creature that wasn’t actually a lemur nor was it a bear, but then again it is called “false” bear so it’s not technically misleading anyone. I just wonder who was dumb enough to think this was a bear to require clarification. From the Early Eocene, this 2-foot adapiforme primate lived in a time known as the Eocene Thermal Maximum, where things got really hot and rainforests covered the Earth. A worse time for everyone, basically. I don’t like heat. Come to think of it, I don’t like the cold either. I’m never happy.

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Caihong, the Crested Rainbow

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: Art by Gabriel Ugueto)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Caihong, a beautiful rainbow-feathered ally and one of the premiere examples of the evidence of dinosaur coloration. Slay, queen! From the Late Jurassic, this 1-foot anchiornithid theropod flew its glittering body over its Chinese forest home and spread its love all over like a sparkling fairy. Step aside, cisgender men; this is truly a dinosaur for the girls, gays, and theys.

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Thalassodromeus, the Ocean Runner

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Thalassodromeus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Thalassodromeus, a medium-sized pterosaur with a really, really big crest for its size; in fact potentially the biggest cranial crests of any vertebrate! Damn, you didn’t need to go that hard, Mr. Thalass! From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot pterodactyloid is highly contentious in its placement in the pterosaur family tree, but currently it’s believed to be a tapejarid pterodactyloid. Give one out to the paleontologists for solving all of society’s real problems.

Also it's Election Day today, so please for the love of God, if you haven't voted already, vote!!!

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Diabloceratops, the Devil Horned Face

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 06:00:29 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/nagrandia/art/Diabloceratops-574079826)

Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host/demon lord Morazmolochgallothagon discuss Diabloceratops, a dinosaur with literal devil horns and a ferocious attitude, making it a perfect new monster to enact further suffering upon Matthew’s soul. Mwuahaha. Wait, what? Who’s writing this?! From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian is another great addition to the spooky season themed episodes, especially ones that are once more 100% improvised such as this. For some reason these get a lot of downloads. Maybe it’s so people can laugh at Donald making a fool out of himself. Now, off to torture Donald some more. Mwuahahaha, hahahahahahaha!!! That’s right, Morazmolochgallothagon took over writing this description, by the way. Part of Matt’s penance for summoning a demon.

Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end.

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Alpkarakush, of the Kyrgyz Mythical Bird

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: Art by Joschua Knüppe)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Alpkarakush, a medium-sized predatory dinosaur from the Middle Jurassic at the geographic midpoint of its family. A lot of mid, this guy. Maybe he isn’t that great. He’s mid, this one. From the Mid Jurassic, this 23-foot metriacanthosaurid was very closely related to my boy Sinraptor, the star of Matthew’s Megazoic books, so it was actually quite awesome and we will accept no slander of it. Anything that brings my baby more in the public eye is a win in my book.

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Gillicus, the Gilled One

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosauralive.fandom.com/wiki/Gillicus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gillicus, a fish with gills… you know, like literally all fish. You ain’t special, Gillicus. We see you for who you are. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot ichthyodectiform is most famous for the “fish-within-a-fish” skeleton, where it’s the vore victim of the much cooler Xiphactinus. God, this guy is lame. What a loser. What a pushover. Actually, you know what, I can relate to this guy. I’m also a loser pushover who likes the idea of getting vored… uh, ignore that last part, please.

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Udanoceratops, the Horned Face of Udan Sayr

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Udanoceratops-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Udanoceratops, a fat ugly beast with a really big head. Between this, last week’s Anteosaurus, and the Eryops episode a bit ago, there seems to be a recurring theme of creatures here. See you at the Cotylorhynchus episode where we start talking about small heads. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot leptoceratopsian had a really big lower jaw and chin, kind of like a Chad, but far less handsome. This guy ain’t no himbo, more like an ogre or troll. Maybe I’m being too mean, though.

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Anteosaurus, the Lizard of the Mythical Giant Antaios

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Anteosaurus-340867141)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Anteosaurus, a really big stem mammal that ate and chomped and crawled and stomped all over. At least, I assume it did. We don’t really know, it could have moved exclusively via unicycle. From the Late Permian, this 20-foot dinocephalian was in the group of big terrestrial Permian predators before the gorgonopsids took over as the next big terrestrial Permian predators. But since this was all pre-dinosaur times, no one cares. Do you care? Of course you don’t care. I barely care and I produce this damn show.

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Dakotadon, the Tooth of the Dakota Region

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Dakotadon)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dakotadon, also known as the genus name that usurped the North American species of Iguanodon and thus any work featuring a North American Iguanodon retroactively is this. Hey, Aladar? You’re a Dakotadon now. Take all the time you need to process this, bro. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot iguanodontid is one of those examples of the bones being discovered and named far before the species is officially described, meaning those paleontologists in the 1800s digging up this guy in South Dakota thought they were Iguanodon but were this thing this whole time. If only they knew! Though frankly, I doubt they would care.

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Quinkana, the Spirit of Gugu-Yalanji Folklore

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/fish98/art/Antipodes-Quinkana-Concept-969634441)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Quinkana, a galloping terrestrial crocodile from Australia, because why wouldn’t this be a thing? Especially on that continent, AKA Death World. From the Late Miocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 13-foot mekosuchine was also encountered by early humans, rather than being alongside the dinosaurs like it should have been. Why were you from then rather than from then? That’s a good sentence.

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Dusicyon, the Falkland Islands Wolf

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://theconversation.com/history-mystery-solved-the-origins-of-the-falkland-islands-wolf-12637)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dusicyon, a wolf that encountered humans on its isolated island home and then got promptly killed off by the colonists… yeah, this is a sad episode. We try our best to lighten it up, but there’s only so much you can do! From the Early Holocene, this 5-foot canid as a genus lived all throughout South America, and the one we’re talking about for most of this episode is specifically the Falkland Islands version, Dusicyon australis, also called the Warrah. That’s neat. You know what’s not neat? This episode. Seriously, this was a mistake, y’all should listen to something else.

Also special thanks to Catherine Ruža for her contributions to today's episode.

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Gremlin, the Gremlin

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/gremlin-slobodorum-12547.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gremlin, a monstrous little critter with a big head and a mischievous demeanor, particularly if you feed it after midnight. Come on, we all knew that’s where these jokes were heading, huh? We’re all on the same page? Good. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot leptoceratopsid lived in both the wet scrublands of Alberta as well as in the insides or on the wings of planes back in the 40s and 50s… that one might be a deeper cut. Just watch the Twilight Zone episode, you’ve seen it. Or at least one of its many, many parodies.

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Eryops, the Drawn-Out Face

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 06:00:23 GMT

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/eryops/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Eryops, a large amphibian with curved teeth, oval bumps, and a big head. Hey, Eryops, why the drawn-out face? Thank you, I’m here ‘til Tuesday. From the Early Permian, this 8-foot temnospondyl had the species name megacephalus, meaning this creature’s binomial name means “drawn-out face with a big head.” I really think they want us to know how big this thing’s head is, guys. What a thing to be famous for! Some can sing, some can dance, some have really, really big heads. We all work with our lot in life, whether it’s a lot or not.

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Kaprosuchus, the Boar Crocodile

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 06:00:32 GMT

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Kaprosuchus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Spencer Mayhew discuss Kaprosuchus, a running crocodilian from Cretaceous Africa that lived alongside the far bigger crocodilian Sarcosuchus, the croc-like dinosaur Suchomimus, and the croc-jawed sail-backed dinosaur Spinosaurus. It’s like a who’s who of croc mimics, one of whom’s name literally means “crocodile mimic.” I guess it was trendy there. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 16-foot notosuchian was either semi-aquatic or fully terrestrial; paleontologists aren’t quite sure. Why are they not sure? What are we paying them to dig for? I tell you, I want my tax money spent more efficiently! Paleontologists are paid by the government, yes?

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Camelops, the Camel Face

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/camelops-hesternus-front-view-corey-ford.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Camelops, a… well, it’s a camel, guys. Yeah, news flash, Camelops is a camel. God, we really need another dinosaur episode soon. From the Late Pleistocene, this 7-foot camel lived in North America and lived alongside elephants, lions, bison, and wolves. A whole lot of creatures you wouldn’t expect to find on this continent, yet here they were. And here was Camelops. Please still listen to this show, folks. We have so much left to talk about, I promise.

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Oncorhynchus rastrosus, the Saber-toothed Salmon

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/saber-toothed-salmon-teeth-more-like-tusks-than-fangs/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Oncorhynchus rastrosus, AKA the saber-toothed salmon, AKA the coolest name for a fish ever, but FYI it’s not actually a valid descriptor anymore, so AKA it’s a massive disappointment. A big flop. Like a fish. Flop, flop. From the Late Miocene, this 8-foot salmonid was still pretty impressive, being such a big fish that also had big outward fangs, even if they weren’t saber-like canines. I just feel though that if you’re name is highlighting a certain feature, you better have it as advertised, otherwise I want my money back. You hear that, Oncorhynchus rastrosus? I want my money back! And don’t get it from a loan shark, I swear to God.

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Macrauchenia, the Long Llama

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 06:00:09 GMT

(image source: Max Bellomio, @digital_duck on Twitter)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Macrauchenia, a big hoofed mammal that either had a trunk or didn’t, kind of like me when I travel or go to the pool. Either trunks or no trunks. It depends on how lazy I’m feeling. From the Pleistocene epoch, this 10-foot-tall litoptern ungulate was part of a group of mammals unique to South America that died out due to the Great American Interchange and the changing climate. Which means this one’s extinction had nothing to do with humans, so we can cross that one off the list at least. Guilt-free! Yay! Ugh…

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes.

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Inostrancevia, of Alexander Inostrantsev

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/south-african-inostrancevia-11935.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Inostrancevia, potentially the largest of the gorgonopsids, which are a super-awesome group of creatures you should be ashamed you haven’t heard of before. Have you not heard of them before? Shame, shame! From the Late Permian, this 14-foot therapsid was the size of a bear, had saber-teeth, potentially fur, and lived millions of years before the first dinosaur ever took a dump upon the Earth, which is all quite remarkable. Can you tell how much I like these guys? I’m not biased, they’re just objectively awesome, and if you don’t like them, you’re wrong.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes.

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Carcharodontosaurus, the Shark-Toothed Lizard

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/zDoGPq)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Carcharodontosaurus, a big super-predator that competed with a croc-jawed dino with a sail and a croc-jawed dino without. Oh, and also a big croc. Good ol’ carchar stood out by not following the croc trend! What a rebel. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 40-foot theropod was one of those unlucky dinosaurs that got blown up twice, once by whatever extinction did it in back in its day and once by a bunch of planes in a WW2 bombing run that took out its museum. Poor guy. The world doesn’t treat outliers fairly, I swear. Rebels are cool, guys! C’mon!

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes.

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Panthera atrox, the American Lion

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_lion)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Panthera atrox, which might also be Panthera leo atrox, making this an extinct subspecies rather than species. Which would be lame. I want differences in my prehistoric monsters! From the Pleistocene epoch, this 7-foot cat is perfectly themed for this great national holiday around this episode’s release… that holiday in question being Canada Day of course. These were in Canada too, so it fits with that important holiday I suppose. Can’t think of any other major holidays of note around this time.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes.

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Erketu, of the Mongolian Shamanistic God

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Erketu-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Erketu, an obscure dinosaur named after a principle deity in Mongolian Shamanism, which means the jokes we make on this episode will surely send us straight to Mongolian hell. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot macronarian sauropod had the longest neck relative to its body of any dinosaur, leading to the aforementioned terrible jokes you all expect us to make that are somehow worse this episode than ever. I hate our show’s reputation sometimes.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes.

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Leptictidium, the Graceful Weasel

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Leptictidium)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Leptictidium, a cute little mammal trying to be a theropod dinosaur, a kangaroo, and a squirrel all in one. Don’t ever say this creature didn’t have goals. From the Early Eocene, this 3-foot leptictidan was part of a family that didn’t leave any descendents and died a terrible and lonely death. Or maybe a peaceful one surrounded by its friends and family. I dunno, I wasn’t there, so who can say?

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Ichthyotitan, the Fish Titan

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/inkabg2/art/Ichthyotitan-severnensis-1049125055)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ichthyotitan, the recently discovered big boy of the early Mesozoic seas that is up there with the biggest boys of all time, along with Perucetus and the modern blue whale. These weren’t just boys. They were men. Whatever that means. Frick the patriarchy. From the Late Triassic, this 85-foot ichthyosaur was a voracious predator akin to an orca, meaning pretty much anything swimming about in this ocean was on the menu. Maybe every animal there should have just waddled onto land instead. Reenact the Devonian and crawl out of that dangerous sea. That’s what I would’ve done, because I’m a coward.

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Baryonyx, the Heavy Claw

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://252mya.com/products/baryonyx-walkeri-stock-photo)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Baryonyx, a paramount piscivorous predator with crocodile-like jaws and two very big claws. Yeah, this show can be poetic sometimes. From the Early Cretaceous, this 28-foot spinosaurid theropod has had some high profile appearances in popular culture that have been quite controversial in the paleo community, such as in a famous blockbuster series where it had a few extra scutes and in an animated movie where it was Godzilla-sized and feared by T. rex. Guess which one of those the paleo nerds had more problems with? The former, obviously. Duh.

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Martharaptor, the Thief of Martha Hayden

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 06:00:34 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/cisiopurple/art/Martharaptor-760488972)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Martharaptor, a lovely creature with a pot belly and long fingernails, kind of like my great aunt Martha. She makes some great cookies, I gotta say. And brownies. Duuuude. From the Early Cretaceous, this 14-foot therizinosaurid was one of the earliest members of its family in North America and closely related to Nothronychus, another one of these dino buggers that most of y’all haven’t heard of. This show really is a relevant piece of media in today’s pop-culture landscape.

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Lythronax, the Gore King

Tue, 28 May 2024 06:00:15 GMT

(image source: https://naturerules1.fandom.com/wiki/Lythronax)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Lythronax, a potential contender for one of the edgiest genus names of any dinosaur, right up there with Dynamoterror and Atrociraptor. It’s not enough for these dinosaurs to be scary in appearance; their names have to sound scary too! Gore King! Aaagh! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot tyrannosaurid’s biggest appearance in pop-culture is probably the Nintendo DS game Fossil Fighters, a Pokémon rip-off involving dinosaurs that’s not DInosaur King. Have you played it? It’s pretty good. I mean, I assume; I’ve never played it.

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Dsungaripterus, the Wing of Junggar Basin

Tue, 21 May 2024 06:00:30 GMT

(image source: https://www.pteros.com/pterosaurs/dsungaripterus.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dsungaripterus, a pterosaur that by God Almighty looks like a mouthful to pronounce. SUN-ga-RIP-turr-US. There, I just saved you a lot of time and energy. You’re welcome. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot ornithocheiroid had a really rocking piece of headgear and a mouth that pointed upward, kind of like me when getting mead poured in my mouth by the tavern maids at the Renaissance Festival while in my wizard costume. Side question, have those festivals always been that horny, or did that just happen in the last couple of years? I should really stop by there more often.

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Sarcosuchus, the Flesh Crocodile

Tue, 14 May 2024 06:00:15 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Sarcosuchus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Sarcosuchus, one of the biggest crocodilians in the fossil record that lived alongside some big hitters like Spinosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus, and Suchomimus. Oh, and also a giant sawshark. A truly terrifying swamp, that was. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 38-foot crocodylomorph ate any poor herbivorous dinosaurs that dared to trespass its swamp. Hey, Ouranosaurus, wanna cross the river? You gotta pay the toll… IN BLOOD. Nomnomnomnomnomnomnom.

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Glacialisaurus, the Frozen Lizard

Tue, 07 May 2024 06:00:39 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Glacialisaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Glacialisaurus, another dinosaur from Antarctica that lived alongside Cryolophosaurus and ate ferns and such. It’s a basic leaf-eating dinosaur, what more do you want from it? From the Early Jurassic, this 20-foot sauropodomorph lived millions of years before its hot and lush homeland became a frozen wasteland. How would you react if the land you lived in was only millions of years away from becoming a hellish landscape? Probably the same, honestly, seeing as the sun is gonna explode and Earth is gonna get scorched and entropy’s gonna tear apart protons and Hawking radiation is going to deteriorate black holes and the universe is going to be dead forever and… wait, we’re talking about some boring dinosaur, right? Where did my brain go? Existentialism…

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Tyrannasorus rex, the Tyrannical Hump King

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 06:00:18 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrannasorus_rex)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Tyrannasorus rex, a real PUNK’d of an animal by being just a plain-ass beetle named after the most fearsome dinosaur ever. Paleontologists have too much fun sometimes. Someone should rein them in. From the Miocene epoch, this 1-inch beetle was, well, a beetle. You ever seen a beetle? Then you’ve seen Tyrannasorus rex. They’re all the same. You don’t make up over half of all species in the biosphere of the planet by being distinctive.

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Sauroposeidon, the Lizard of the Earthquake God

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://jurassicpark.fandom.com/wiki/Sauroposeidon)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Sauroposeidon, an abso-giganto-freaking-mongus dinosaur and the state dinosaur of Texas, because they like everything big down there. They ain't compensatin' for nuthin’, those durn cowboys. From the Early Cretaceous, this 70-foot macronarian sauropod lived alongside some heavy hitters like Acrocanthosaurus, Deinonychus, and Sauropelta, all of which we’ve covered on this show before, so they must be famous, right? Right? This show’s good exposure for these critters, I know it.

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Fasolasuchus, the Crocodile of Tomas Fasola

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 06:00:16 GMT

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/triassic-bites-and-a-carnivore-conundrum)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Fasolasuchus, the biggest terrestrial non-dinosaur predator of all time. What a hyper-specific superlative. I bet I’m the biggest human named Matthew that wrote a dinosaur sci-fi series called Megazoic. Except probably not, there’s a lot of Matthews out there. From the Mid Triassic, this 35-foot rauisuchian got a big bit of cinema exposure as the climactic boss fight in the recent Adam Driver movie where he’s an alien who fights dinosaurs, which sounds like the most awesome movie ever, but alas, ‘twas mid at best. No shame if you liked it, though.

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Alaskacephale, the Head of Alaska

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 06:00:13 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaskacephale)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Alaskacephale, a northern dinosaur that somehow had enough minor differences to escape being lumped into the genus Pachycephalosaurus, but the wildly different and far more spiky Dracorex and Stygimoloch didn’t. Yeah, I’m never letting that go. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot pachycephalosaurid lived alongside the other arctic dinosaurs like Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus, meaning they either had feathers to keep warm in the winter or they just used their inherent size as a form of gigantothermy. But that’s far too advanced of a topic for this dumb podcast, so who knows?

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Simosuchus, the Pug-Nosed Crocodile

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 06:00:10 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/583708801714650808/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simosuchus, an adorable little burrowing critter that despite its herbivory and cuddly appearance was actually an ancient crocodylomorph. I bet its death rolls would be so cute. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot notosuchian lived alongside some big frogs and mammals as well as dinosaurs in their Madagascar home, which sounds nice. I wager they all got along and there were no killings or predation at all. They just all snuggled each other. That’s my theory, I’ll publish a paper on it shortly.

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Tenontosaurus, the Sinew Lizard

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 06:00:48 GMT

(image source: https://alphynix.tumblr.com)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Tenontosaurus, a poor schmuck of a dinosaur whose entire existence seems to be cannon fodder for packs of Deinonychus. Hence why I chose this picture for the episode image, because it’s funny seeing the tables turned. Mwuahahaha. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot basal ornithopod was also notable in having a really long tail, which really would have been useful in fighting off those Deinonychus I reckon. But hey, who am I to judge? It seemed to work out for them. Oh wait, they’re extinct, so I guess not.

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Anchisaurus, the Intermediate Lizard

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 06:00:45 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Anchisaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Anchisaurus, a long-necked lizard thing of a dinosaur that had far more interesting ancestors and even more interesting descendants. It really was ‘intermediate’ in how mid it was. Boo. From the Early Jurassic, this 10-foot basal sauropodomorph was the basis behind a familial vow to track the owner of its footprints, a task started by a paleontologist father but completely by his son. Who are these folks? Who cares, they spent their whole lives looking for freaking Anchisaurus.

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Maiasaura, the Good Mother Lizard

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 06:00:01 GMT

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/maiasaura-and-nest-phil-wilson.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Maiasaura, a real mommy of a dinosaur in that it was the first one with direct evidence of parental care. A real nurturer, Maiasaura. I could use that. No, I don’t have mommy issues. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot saurolophine hadrosaurid seemingly put leaves on its eggs and fed them with its beak when they hatched, which is nice. Again, I could use that. Imagine a hug from one of these. It sounds nice. Warm. Comforting. …yeah, maybe I do have mommy issues.

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Simbakubwa, the Great Lion

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simbakubwa)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simbakubwa, possibly the largest terrestrial mammalian predator of all time and the true holder of the title of Lion King. Naaaaaants ingonyamaaaa bagithiiiii baba sithi uhm ingonyamaaaa! Disney, making children scat faux Swahili since 1994. From the Early Miocene, this 10-foot hyaenodont had a slashing bite and could potentially bring down giant elephants and rhinos. The ultimate predator. The one true king. Until it went extinct and turned into grass for the antelope to eat, anyway.

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Australopithecus, the Southern Ape

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3T1rkyC)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Australopithecus, one of our definitive ancestors and the first to walk upright, which is kind of a big deal. I don’t think I could handle walking on my knuckles all day, so thank you, Australopithecus. From the Late Pliocene, this 4-foot-tall hominid ate fruit and meat and overall just kinda aped about. You ever watched the Planet of the Apes movies? Then you’ve seen Australopithecus. Please ignore the apes riding horses while wielding machine guns for the purpose of this comparison.

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Megalosaurus, the Great Lizard

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 07:00:33 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Megalosaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Megalosaurus on this very special day, as exactly 200 years ago on this date Megalosaurus was officially the first described dinosaur, marking two centuries of dinosaur knowledge! Awesome! Oh yeah, the animal is cool too, whatever. From the Middle Jurassic, this 30-foot theropod used to have hundreds of different species in its genus before settling with Megalosaurus bucklandii, which is good. One is enough, I say. No need to hog all the species for yourself, you silly genus. Golly, this show is nonsense.

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Basilosaurus, the King Lizard

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 07:00:06 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basilosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Basilosaurus, a ginormous flesh-eating whale with a bulbous body and tiny back legs. Bet you didn’t know your mom was featured in this podcast, huh? From the Late Eocene, this 60-foot cetacean had a dinosaur-esque name due to its serpentine-esque body, which I think shouldn’t be allowed. Only dinosaurs should end in ‘saurus’ just as only mammals should end in ‘therium’! None of this Basilosaurus or Fulgurotherium nonsense, you hear?!

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Proa, the Prow of Val de Arino

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://metode.org/issues/monographs/the-dinosaurs-of-the-maestrat-basin.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Proa, a dinosaur who lived in Spain and is on display in a huge museum there called Dinopolis, a place I have promptly scheduled on my calendar to visit on a moments’ notice! Oh wait, plane tickets are expensive. Damn. From the Early Cretaceous, this 22-foot iguanodont was chosen by our production team by using a random dinosaur generator because there was no reason to cover this otherwise. Just kidding! We don’t have a production team. LIke we would have the budget here for that, please.

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Simocyon, the Short-Snouted Dog

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 07:00:52 GMT

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/the-other-pandas-thumb)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Simocyon, a creature that looks like a cougar and whose name says it’s a dog but is more closely related to red pandas. That’s a running joke on this show, I swear. “It looks like a baboon, eats like a llama, but its closest relatives are actually… cuttlefish.” From the Early Pliocene, this 7-foot carnivoran mammal is from a previously wide-ranging family of predators who all went extinct except for that little teddy bear who helps Chinese-Canadian girls go through puberty or something. I dunno, I only saw that film once. Just kidding, it’s my favorite movie of all time.

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Paranthropus, the One Alongside Man

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 07:00:48 GMT

(Image source: https://www.science.org/content/article/one-ancient-human-relative-use-early-stone-tools)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Paranthropus, one of our ancestors’ relatives that didn’t fully make the transition into cavemen and died off before they could see what humanity would become. They were the lucky ones. From the Late Pliocene, this 4-foot-tall hominid used simple tools like sticks and rocks and plucked fruit off of trees and basically were just monkeying around. Sorry, that was low-hanging fruit… much like the ones they plucked off of trees… okay I’m done.

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Ambulocetus, the Walking Whale

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Ambulocetus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ambulocetus, a walking whale that might not have actually walked all that much, but boy it could swim! So a whale then, basically. A whale with feet. Ehhh. From the Late Eocene, this 10-foot cetacean swam through the rivers of Pakistan and chomped fish, crocodiles, small mammals, and whatever else dared get in its way. I bet I could take it though, personally. How hard could it be?

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here, as well as his non-dinosaur-related book "Teslanauts" by clicking here.

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Coahuilaceratops, the Horned Face of Coahuila

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Coahuilaceratops-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Coahuliaceratops, one of the few dinosaurs we have evidence of from Mexico due to something… explosive happening there at the end of the Cretaceous that wiped out most of the fossils. And no, it wasn’t the aftermath of a burrito dinner. From the Late Cretaceous, this 16-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsian had the longest horns of any member of its family, so that’s pretty cool. Probably to help it face off against the most terrifying predator in the region, Tyrannosaurus mex! Ugh, a fart joke and a regional joke that’s a bad pun. What the hell has this show come to?

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Coelurosauravus, the Hollow Lizard Grandfather

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 07:00:15 GMT

(image source: https://sciifii.fandom.com/wiki/Coelurosauravus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Coelurosauravus, the reptiles’ first of many, many attempts to get the hell off the ground and into the air. It seems like reptiles might be playing a geologic time scale level game of The Floor Is Lava. From the Late Permian, this 1-foot neodiapsid was unfortunately one of the losers of the Permian extinction event, where the whole world played a literal game of The Floor Is Lava and wiped out 95% of all life on the planet. Way to ruin a fun game by taking it seriously, Earth.

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Prognathodon, the Forejaw Tooth

Tue, 26 Dec 2023 07:00:38 GMT

(image source: https://bethzaiken.com/royal-saskatchewan-museum-prognathodon)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Prognathodon, a very unmerry creature that only has its episode released near Christmas due to the predetermined release schedule. Jingle bells! Chomp. From the Late Cretaceous, this 45-foot mosasaurid was smaller than its more famous cousin but had a far stronger bite, which means it could open presents real easily… yeah, I’m forcing this Christmas theme upon it. It doesn’t need it, it predates the birth of Christ! Which means, since he hadn’t died for our sins yet, Prognathodon and all other prehistoric animals are burning in Hell forever. Merry Christmas!

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Pakicetus, the Pakistani Whale

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 07:00:58 GMT

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/the-evolution-of-whales/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Pakicetus, the very first cetacean and thus very first whale, so that’s neat I guess. Evolution and stuff. Intermediary fossils. Woo. From the Early Eocene, this 5-foot artiodactyl had many features of both land-dwelling and aquatic animals, which sounds indecisive if you ask me. Land or water, pick one! I mean, I suppose it eventually did. So that’s good I guess. Woo. I need to get paid more.

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Eurapteryx, the Broad-Billed Moa

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://a-dinosaur-a-day.com/post/185693540635/euryapteryx-curtus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Don Hall discuss Euryapteryx, another one of those giant birds the Maori people had to deal with when they migrated to New Zealand. They had a rough time. The birds, not the people. From the Early Holocene, this 3-foot-tall ratite laid relatively giant eggs and was hunted to extinction by the humans. Because humans. We’re a blight upon the earth. COVID-19 was a nice try, nature, but maybe hit us a bit harder next time.

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Megamonodontium, the Giant Trapdoor Spider

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://novataxa.blogspot.com/2023/09/megamonodontium.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megamonodontium, the most nope nope to have ever noped. A giant spider lunging in a hole in Australia? Nope, nope, nope. From the Late Miocene, this 2-inch spider trapped and ate giant dinosaurs and sunk its venomous fangs into the necks of cavemen… okay, not really, it more likely hunted insects and small vertebrates and was overall just another harmless animal, but nope I say! Nope! Nope.

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Tropeognathus, the Keel-Jawed One

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 07:00:05 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Tropeognathus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Tropeognathus, a genus split off from Ornithocheirus, well-known from that Walking with Dinosaurs episode where one of them was too old to get laid. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot-wingspan pterosaur lived in Brazil alongside frugivore Tapejara, also depicted in that same episode where one of them got sprayed on by water too much to get laid. Quality television, that show, back when BBC programs took risks.

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Anzu, the Mesopotamian Bird Demon

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/tuomaskoivurinne/art/Saurian-Anzu-778336693)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Don Hall discuss Anzu, a dinosaur that looks so damn much like a bird it’s hard to believe it’s not in the clade of theropods that evolved into them. Them dinos really wanted them feathers. From the late Cretaceous, this 13-foot oviraptorosaur lived alongside some famous heavy-hitters like T. rex and Triceratops, and may I say the name Anzu really stands out among those, and not really in a good way. “Here in the Hell Creek Formation, we’ve got Tyrannosaurus, Ankylosaurus, Triceratops, Edmontosaurus, and… Anzu!” See, it doesn’t work! Try again, paleontologists.

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Han solo, the Lone Chinese Trilobite

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 07:00:01 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostida)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Han solo, an actually real genus and species of animal because paleontologists, believe it or not, are nerds. From the Early Ordavician, this 2-inch trilobite may not have looked like much, but it’s got it where it counts, kid. Yeah, we make a bunch of forced Star Wars references in this episode… oh, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

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Platyceramus, the Broad Shell

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 07:00:09 GMT

(image source: https://dontmesswithdinosaurs.com/?p=2122)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Platyceramus, the biggest clam in the entire paleontological record, which sounds like something one of those tourist traps on I-70 would claim to have if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 10-foot bivalve got eaten by giant turtles and had highly enlarged pearls within its shells… oh, now you’re interested, huh? Now that there’s money involved? I swear, late stage capitalism makes people desperate.

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Zuul, the Destroyer of Shins

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 06:00:35 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuul)

Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Frankyansteilert (the sewn-together bodies of previous co-hosts reanimated after their unfortunate deaths) discuss Zuul, a dinosaur indeed named after the Ghostbusters demon dog, because why not at this point? From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ankylosaur had the biggest tail club of any of its kind in North America and had some fossilized scale imprints uncovered, which we definitely discuss in great detail in this once more 100% improvised episode. Because it was so beloved the last time the show did this.

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Ectopistes, the Passenger Pigeon

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/things-of-beauty-i-like-to-see--543528248785595561/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and Matt’s dad Don Hall discuss Ectopistes, another great example of human-caused extinction because we didn’t depress our listeners enough with the Dodo and Tasmanian Tiger episodes. From the Late Pliocene to the Early Holocene, this 1.5-foot columbid bird used to have flocks in the billions before being shot, batted, and netted by greedy and terrible European colonizers when they came to America. The Native Americans lived with them all right though, so it’s not all humans that are bad, just European ones. My great grandfather was an Italian immigrant, so I’m allowed to say that. Hey, remember when this show was about dinosaurs?

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Moeritherium, the Beast of Lake Moeris

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 06:00:05 GMT

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/moeritherium-lake-moeris-beast-1093246)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Moeritherium, a pig-hippo-tapir thing that was actually closer related to elephants than any of those other creatures, because the only thing nature is consistent at is being inconsistent. From the Late Eocene, this 6-foot proboscid lived in the mangrove swamps of its Egyptian home while blissfully unaware of the bleak desert it would become a few minor extinctions and Ice Ages later. Imagine what your own home will be like 35 million years from now! Probably be just cosmic dust along with the rest of the Earth after we’ve annihilated it.

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Suuwassea, the Ancient Thunder

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dino.fandom.com/wiki/Suuwassea)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Suuwassea, a dinosaur named after terms in the language of the Native American Crow Tribe just in time for Indigenous People's Day, because I'm really good at planning these things. It's not a coincidence, I swear. Pinkily so. From the Late Jurassic, this 45-foot dicraeosaurid sauropod was still plenty big but definitely one of the smaller long-necked dinosaurs of Jurassic North America, because we really needed a world where an animal nearly fifty feet long is somehow small for its kind. At least it's a nice gentle sauropod and not something far worse or creepier. We'll get to those, surely.

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Sinosauropteryx, the Chinese Lizard Wing

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3PEeLaG)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Sinosauropteryx, the first non-avian dinosaur identified with feathers and thus the one to blame for the Jurassic Park style scaly raptors going out of fashion. Feathers can be monstrous too, guys! Just look at cassowaries. Or don't, they'll kill you. Kill you dead. And then disembowel you. Yeah. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3-foot compsognathid theropod was also the first dinosaur that we've discovered their true coloration, and we learned that they're basically red pandas. What is it about China that makes animals red with white stripes? There's a communist joke here somewhere, but I can't quite find it.

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Raphus, the Dodo

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/3-dodo-bird-spencer-sutton.html?product=poster)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Raphus, also known as the dodo and a shining example of anthropogenic extinction. That’s when humans completely kill a species, just in case you wanted a punch in the gut today. From the Early Holocene, this 3-foot tall columbid bird is one of the prime candidates for scientists to try and resurrect Jurassic Park style, which would make for a far less impressive movie I must say. “They’re moving in herds…” Duh, they’re flock animals. Dumbass.

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Deinonychus, the Terrible Claw

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Deinonychus_ewilloughby_2931.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and very special guest co-host Jason Singleton discuss Deinonychus, the one whose titular claw sparked the Dinosaur Revolution like a slash heard around the world. That’s an American Revolution reference, that joke. Know your history, even if it’s probably mostly propaganda. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 11-foot dromaeosaurid had the biggest beef with poor ol’ Tenontosaurus, or should I say the biggest beef from it. That poor ornithopod just can’t catch a break, always getting brutally disemboweled by this guy. Who does he think he is?! Oh yeah, a really important dinosaur. I guess it’s okay then.

Also check out Jason’s book Dino Mike at https://amzn.to/48fSJ6y.

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Cygnus falconeri, the Giant Swan

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 06:00:54 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3Rhfwc6)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Cygnus falconeri, the biggest swan ever that towered over elephants… although to be fair the elephants on the island it lived on were dwarf elephants, so it’s kind of cheating. From the Late Pleistocene, this 10-foot-wingspan bird was undoubtedly the biggest asshole and probably bullied those poor little elephants to extinction. You ever encountered a swan? They’re assholes! Even the regular-sized ones! Now imagine one the size of a large hang-glider…

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Homotherium, the Same Beast

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 06:00:13 GMT

(image source: https://fanon.fandom.com/wiki/Homotherium_latidens_(SciiFii))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Homotherium, another one of those saber-toothed cats early humans had to deal with because we’ve never had enough problems. From the Mid Pliocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot machairodont felid was more like a saber-toothed cougar than a saber-toothed tiger, as it was a pursuit hunter that could run down prey rather than merely ambushing them. Then again, neither term is accurate, because these are completely different cats. You can’t call things things that they aren’t; that’s why if someone says the word “jellyfish,” the appropriate response is to hang them.

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Podokesaurus, the Swift-Footed Lizard

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 06:00:30 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3PfmRaG)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Podokesaurus, the state dinosaur of Massachusetts, which really shows the lack of good fossils there and their sheer desperation in having a dino representative. From the Early Jurassic, this 3-foot coelophysid theropod was the first dinosaur discovered and described by a woman, which is definitely cool, although I bet Mary Ann Mantell is seething in the annals of history at her husband taking the credit for Iguanodon when she found its tooth fossils. The patriarchy is a real bitch.

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Spinosaurus, the Spined Lizard

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 06:00:21 GMT

(image source: “Spinosaurus Through the Decades” by Mario Lanzas)

Happy 200 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Spinosaurus, a creature with so many different updates changing it up constantly it’s practically a modern video game. Was it a biped or a quadruped? Was it terrestrial or aquatic? Did it have a sail or a fin? Did it have a trunk like an elephant seal? Okay, that last one I made up, but hey, you never know. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 50-foot theropod lived in Africa and was very big, but that’s the extent of the certainty of our knowledge. Everything else is subject to change. Hell, this episode will be outdated within a week, I’m sure.

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Perucetus, the Peruvian Whale

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 06:00:56 GMT

(image source: Alberto Gennari/Nature via AP)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Perucetus, potentially the biggest animal ever because prehistory needs to one-up the modern day at every opportunity. Those blue whales really thought their crown was safe, didn’t they? Pity. From the Late Eocene, this 65-foot basilosaurid whale was discovered just a few weeks before this episode’s release, so we cranked this episode out fast because by golly, it’s cool. It’s big. I like big things. Big things are cool.

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Thrinaxodon, the Trident Tooth

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 06:00:30 GMT

(image source: https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Thrinaxodon_(SciiFii))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Thrinaxodon, a stem mammal that did not have little pitchforks or sea-ruling weapons in their mouths, so they’re very inaccurately named. I question these so-called scientists sometimes. From the Early Triassic, this 3-foot cynodont was one of the survivors of the Great Dying, AKA the Permian Extinction, AKA the worst time to be on Earth in all of its history other than last week at your aunt’s mandatory dinner party. Not sure which won out in the bad-o-meter. It’s a tossup I reckon.

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Haikouichthys, the Fish from Haikou District, in Kunming China

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoric-life.fandom.com/wiki/Haikouichthys)

Host Matthew Donald, and guest Natasha Krech talk, Haikouichthys. An early chordate, or perhaps something weirder, we just don’t know yet. From the Cambrian, this 1-inch backboned fish-thing, lived early in time. As you’ve surely learned, this whole flippin’ episode, is all Haiku form. Even the title fits, and the description itself, and the written stats. Yet this is Chinese, not Japanese like Haikus, so it’s wrong and dumb. But when else could I, have an excuse to do this, other than this one? Yes it’s real cringey, but that’s who I proudly am, and none shall stop me.

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Cryolophosaurus, the Cold Crested Lizard

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 06:00:05 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3OtbH1P)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Cryolophosaurus, the first dinosaur described and named from Antarctica. That’s pretty cool. Haha, geddit? GEDDIT?! You get it. From the Early Jurassic, this 22-foot neotheropod lived when the continent was still kind of nice and full of trees and ferns, kind of like Alaska in the summer. Ugh, can you imagine the mosquitoes though?! John Hammond should have searched for them in Antarctica; I’m sure he’d find a bucketload of them in amber.

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Rhabdodon, the Fluted Tooth

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 06:00:44 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/44PPyQG)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cici Eilert discuss Rhabdodon, the Iguanodon equivalent of the Maastrichtian age and an archetypal example of insular gigantism. None of that statement made any sense to dinosaur or biology normies, I’m sure. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ornithopod lived in the European islands around the Hateg basin and had to deal with giant azhdarchid pterosaurs plucking its young off the ground on occasion. Sounds like one of these paradises that turns out to be terrible. You know that old trope? Like the classic silent film Metropolis. Or the daycare in Toy Story 3.

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Mononykus, the Single-Clawed One

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 06:00:27 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Mononykus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Mononykus, a dinosaur that was really good at poking and pretty much nothing else with those singular claws of theirs. They could point, poke, and pork. That’s it. Good night, everyone. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot alvarezsaurid probably lived like an anteater picking bugs out of logs with its claws and its long tongue. Its tongue didn’t fossilize though, so that’s pure speculation. We paleontologists can make things up on occasion.

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Ophthalmosaurus, the Eye Lizard

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 06:00:26 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophthalmosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Ophthalmosaurus, an eye-catcher of a creature that sees the seas with optimal precision, and other eye-related jokes. From the Late Jurassic, this 16-foot ichthyosaur probably used its massive eyes to catch schools of fish in deep waters, meaning it used its pupils to catch pupils! Geddit?! Yeah, that one was a stretch. Required some real yoga to work. Have you seen me do yoga? It’s a real eyesore!

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Lagosuchus, the Rabbit Crocodile

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 06:00:44 GMT

(image source: https://www.sciencephoto.com/contributor/jsi/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Lagosuchus, a long-legged little lunatic that was named like a crocodile but is actually closer related to dinosaurs… then again dinosaurs are often named like they’re lizards when they’re patently not. From the Early Triassic, this 2-foot archosaur was not related to rabbits either despite the name, nor does it look like one. And it also wasn’t found near the city of Lagos, Nigeria, so this thing’s name was just a packful of lies all around.

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Transylvanosaurus, the Lizard from Across the Forest

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 06:00:04 GMT

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/transylvanosaurus-platycephalus-11423.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cici Eilert discuss Transylvanosaurus, a dinosaur with a name far scarier than this cute little critter would suggest, but I suppose Romanian means vampires, am I right? From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot rhabdodontid lived in an island paradise alongside some other miniaturized dinosaurs with their only fear being the giant pterosaurs that would swoop in from above and kill them, kind of like how Dracula and his brides did the same to villagers with their big bat forms. Huh, maybe the name is more fitting than I thought.

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Tsaagan, the White Monster

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 06:00:23 GMT

(image source: Beasts of the Mesozoic action figure line)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Tsaagan, a raptor from Mongolia that is decidedly not Velociraptor for some reason isn’t due to some minor differences in the skull or whatever. And yet Dracorex… ugh, forget it. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot dromaeosaur got its name from a local Mongolian term for “white monster,” which would be a pretty accurate term if this thing was found in Europe with a ship full of colonizers. We pale folks don’t have the most proud history, in case you didn’t know.

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Dacentrurus, the One with the Tail Full of Points

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 06:00:54 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dacentrurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dacentrurus, a dinosaur from Europe that had a bunch of points at its end and a set of symmetrical plates on its front, kind of like if a dinner table was a dinosaur. From the Late Jurassic, this 30-foot stegosaur is one of the best known of its family from Europe, and also is incredibly awkward to say. No word should ever have “ruru” in it. Except for the Kanohi Ruru, the Mask of Night Vision. That one’s okay. Where are my Bionicle fans at, millennial listeners?!

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Peltephilus, the Armor Lover

Tue, 30 May 2023 06:00:17 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Peltephilus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cici Eilert discuss Peltephilus, a large armadillo with the squarest ass you’ve ever seen. Seriously, there’s just flesh and fur one inch and then none the next. From the Oligocene epoch, this 6-foot xenathran mammal was thought to be a predator at first until they realized it was like regular armadillos and ate bugs or whatever. Or rolled into balls. Except this one couldn’t; look at its big square ass! Those buns ain’t rolling nowhere.

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Diplodocus, the Double-Beamed One

Tue, 23 May 2023 06:00:32 GMT

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/diplodocus/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Diplodocus, the longest of long boys and the absorber of the awesome but sadly now dubious genus Seismosaurus. Earthquake lizard go kaput. Sad. From the Late Jurassic, this 100-foot sauropod lived in the golden age of its family with so many damn longneck dinosaurs that it’s hard to keep them all straight. Why is Supersaurus still valid if Seismo isn’t? Sorry, it’s a bit of a sore spot for me.

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Mammut, the Mastodon

Tue, 16 May 2023 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2208044119)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Mammut, also known as the American mastodon because this is one of those creatures that has a generic name as well as a scientific name, like why we called lions lions instead of P. leo like we do T. rex. From the Late Pliocene, this 10-foot-tall mammutid isn’t really closely related to mammoths but gets confused with them a bunch, which makes sense as they look really similar and are both elephant-ish. Yeah, elephant-ish. I’m a scientist.

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Halszkaraptor, the Thief of Halszka Osmolska

Tue, 09 May 2023 06:00:23 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Halszkaraptor)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Halszkaraptor, a relative of those monstrous raptors more akin to a duck or goose, which is actually far more terrifying. From the Late Cretaceous, this 2-foot dromaeosaur had numerous adaptations for fishing and a semi-aquatic existence, which sounds like a peaceful life. Because we all know people who fish to be the most chill and laid-back of folks, especially if they have a picture of them with a fish they caught as their main image on a dating profile. Totally chill, totally non-toxically masculine people.

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Geosternbergia, of George Sternberg

Tue, 02 May 2023 06:00:52 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Geosternbergia)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Geosternbergia, a pterosaur that really wants you to know it’s named after George Sternberg as its binomial name is Geosternbergia sternbergi. How much did the Sternberg estate pay for this, I wonder? From the Late Cretaceous, this 24-foot-wingspan pteradactyloid was thought for the longest time to be another species of Pteranodon, but now it’s generally regarded as being its own genus. And yet Dracorex and Stygimoloch… ugh, sorry, I said I’d shut up about it!

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Saurophaganax, the King of the Lizard Eaters

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 06:00:07 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/saurophaganax_maximus_by_atrox1-d4ff5qy_b2a7.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Saurophaganax, the biggest and baddest Jurassic predator that truly makes Allosaurus the “other lizard” that it’s so named. And by that, we means it makes Allosaurus its bitch. From the Late Jurassic, this 42-foot-long theropod might actually have been a giant Allosaurus species rather than its own, although the consensus is still contested to this day. And yet y’all are so confident about Dracorex and Stygimoloch not being valid… sorry, I really need to shut up about that.

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Genyodectes, the Jaw Biter

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 06:00:32 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Genyodectes-maniraptora_be4c.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Genyodectes, a dinosaur no one’s heard of and no one cares about so therefore no one should complain when we assumedly and repeatedly mispronounce its name throughout the episode. From the Early Cretaceous, this 22-foot ceratosaurid was one of the first dinosaurs ever discovered in South America, but it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It seems these days you can’t take a walk anywhere in Argentina without tripping over some dino bones.

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Paleoparadoxia, the Ancient Enigma

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 06:00:18 GMT

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/paleoparadoxia/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Paleoparadoxia, a marine mammal with a pretty on-the-nose name in that it’s a paleontological paradox. At least in the enigma sense; we don’t think there was any time travel involved. From the Miocene epoch, this 12-foot desmostylian looked like it should have been able to walk on land, but was actually completely marine-bound due to being too heavy. I can relate. To the too heavy part, not the marine-bound part. I don’t like the ocean. Too salty. And big. Like me!

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Torosaurus, the Perforated Lizard

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 06:00:54 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3K1kgNM)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Torosaurus, a dinosaur very distinct from Triceratops regardless of what Jack Horner tells you in a wide variety of ways that I cannot think of right now. But Horner can’t win! We won’t let him! From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsian had the biggest known skull of any land animal in Earth’s history, which means it was either very full of itself or genius-level brainy. Except it’s definitely the former. Have you seen the way they flaunt those frills? Slay, girl! You deserve that level of conceitedness.

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Tanidromites nightwishorum, the Crab of the Band Nightwish

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 06:00:36 GMT

(image source: http://bit.ly/3ZjI592 and an edited stock photo)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Tanidromites nightwishorum, a crab named after the Finnish symphonic metal band that has nothing whatsoever notable about it and is thusly the first truly bite-sized Paleo Bites episode. We might have more of these to discuss species with very little info about them but are still notable somehow. I mean, it’s in the name of the show! From the Late Jurassic, this little decapod lived in the beaches of the very much now landlocked country of Austria. So that’s neat. I guess. Please still support the show, everybody!

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Herrerasaurus, the Lizard of Victorino Herrera

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 06:00:08 GMT

(image source: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/herrerasaurus-ischigualastensis-sergey-krasovskiy.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Herrerasaurus, one of the earliest dinosaurs and yet still a rather big boi that I would not want to mess with. Look at dat boi! I’m hip, bro. From the Mid Triassic, this 20-foot carnivorous dinosaur was so primitive the closest we can get to its taxonomic placement is that it was a saurischian, or lizard-hipped. Looks like this boi was hip too. Lizard-hipped! Bro! Boi! Goddamn, this show is so cringe.

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Coelophysis, the Hollow Form

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 06:00:50 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Coelophysis-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Coelophysis, the archetypal early dinosaur despite some rather advanced features compared to earlier dinosaurs, one of which we’ll talk about next week! A bit of a sausage sizzle there for the listeners. From the Late Triassic, this 10-foot theropod was initially thought to be a cannibal, then it was found to not be, until it was found to be a cannibal once again! C’mon, Coelophysis, how many chances are we gonna give you? Seek some therapy, why don’t you.

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Pezosiren, the Walking Manatee

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 07:00:32 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Pezosiren)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Pezosiren, a hippo-like ancestor of manatees when they weren’t quite sea cows but sea-ish cows. Semiaquatic cows. Except not cows. From the Eocene epoch, this 7-foot sirenian mammal lived quite the peaceful life in its lagoon habitat, floating and grazing the fronds of seagrass… at least when it wasn’t being violently torn apart by crocodiles, sharks, and early whales. Mmm… sea beef…

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Gigantoraptor, the Gigantic Thief

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 07:00:02 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Gigantoraptor-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gigantoraptor, which, like the name suggests, is a gigantic raptor. A big Oviraptor, not Velociraptor, since they’re two totally different families. Pay attention. From the Late Cretaceous, this 26-foot oviraptorosaur browsed from trees and plucked poor creatures off the ground like the demonic ostrich it was. That’d be a much better name for it than “gigantic thief,” I reckon. What would that be, Diablostruthius? I’d be terrified of such a thing. You heard it here first if that ends up being a proper genus in the future.”

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Carbonemys, the Coal Turtle

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 07:00:40 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonemys)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Carbonemys, an enormous super predator that gives Raphael a run for his money in terms of turtle aggression and edginess. From the Early Paleocene, this 10-foot turtle chomped on crocodiles and fought giant snakes such as Titanoboa, which is freaking wild. A fitting start to the Age of Mammals; not with mammals, but with giant monstrous reptiles. Sort of like how the Age of Dinosaurs started with the synapsid stem mammals ruling the Earth first. Everything is backwards.

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Iguanodon, the Iguana Tooth

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 07:00:16 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Iguanodon-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Iguanodon, a dinosaur that’s not an iguana nor known for its teeth, so its chosen name is a real mystery. From the Early Cretaceous, this 30-foot ornithopod was one of the first dinosaurs discovered and was a bulky bro for sure, able to get in some good licks and slashes with its spiked thumb and burly arms. What a real man! Toxic masculinity, ain’t it great? No, it’s not, not for you or for anyone.

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Protoavis, the First Bird

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 07:00:53 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Protoavis)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Protoavis, a highly controversial fossil that might disrupt the entire evolutionary line leading to birds, but also, probably not. From the Late Triassic, this 1-foot reptile might have been an early dinosaur, another type of archosaur, or something completely unrelated, but one thing it certainly was not was a bird. Even if it was the actual progenitor of the avian evolutionary line, look at this thing! It ain’t a bird yet. And probably was ain’t never gonna be. Just a reminder that I’m an English major and I’m using incorrect grammar deliberately. I get a pass.

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Mussaurus, the Mouse Lizard

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 07:58:34 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mussaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Mussaurus, a teeny tiny dinosaur in a family of giant dinosaurs, except those tiny fossils were actually of babies and the adults were fairly large anyways. Your one novelty was a lie, Mussaurus. From the Early Jurassic, this 20-foot sauropodomorph had a fairly cute name that was also fairly unrepresentative of its actual being. I mean, this was neither mouse nor lizard, and was far bigger than either as well. What you Mussaurus, a man or a mouse? Neither, you’re a basal sauropod. Idiot.

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Tullimonstrum, the Monster of Francis Tully

Tue, 24 Jan 2023 07:00:57 GMT

(image source: http://bit.ly/3QDvTx7)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Tullimonstrum, an anomaly and enigma in every sense of the word and proof that evolution has a twisted sense of humor. From the Late Carboniferous, this 1-foot… thing has been suggested to be from a multitude of different lineages. Personally, I think it was an alien. Some sort of terrible extraterrestrial race invaded Earth in the Late Carboniferous and this was the result. They didn’t take over the planet though because… well, look at them!

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Dracoraptor, the Draconic Thief

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 07:00:26 GMT

(image source: http://bit.ly/3ZuaOcH)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Dracoraptor, the very first Jurassic dinosaur known and a survivor of the Triassic-Jurassic mass extinction, the one everyone seems to forget for some reason. It was a multiple impact event, people! Probably. From the Early Jurassic, this 3-foot coelophysid didn’t really have much going for it, and probably is some offshoot of Coelophysis that made it past the extinction. This is more of an excuse to talk about that extinction, honestly. It needs more love! Again, multiple impact event! Again though, probably. But maybe not.

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Phorusrhacos, the Wrinkle Bearer

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 07:00:05 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/312366924155667804/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Phorusrhacos, the last hurrah of giant land-based theropod dinosaurs as top predators, ruling well after non-avian dinosaurs went extinct. That’s not funny, just cool, but then again these descriptions aren’t really funny anyway. From the Early Miocene, this 9-foot-tall bird was part of a group colloquially known as “terror birds,” which makes all the sense in the world, as I’m certainty quite terrified of this thing. Then again, I’m also terrified of chickens. Have you ever been locked in a coop with an angry chicken?! No, ‘cause then you’d be dead.”

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Oviraptor, the Egg Thief

Tue, 03 Jan 2023 07:00:09 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oviraptor)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Oviraptor, the most unfairly judged dinosaur found fossilized with a bunch of eggs and thus was assumed to be stealing those eggs rather than nurturing their own. There’s no way this thing could actually be a good mother, now could it? From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot maniraptoran theropod had a cassowary-like beak and roadrunner-like feathers, making it quite bird-like in many ways. And birds don’t eat eggs, they lay them! See, I’m a scientist. Although I’m sure some birds eat eggs, but whatever.

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Hybodus, the Crooked Tooth

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 07:00:44 GMT

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Hybodus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Hybodus, a seemingly ordinary looking shark that might have actually had a temporal range of nearly 200 million years because, evolutionarily speaking, it was perfect. Sharks, man. From the Late Permian to the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot hybodont fish had little spikes adorning its dorsal fins as its distinguishing feature, which I guess made all the difference in the world. I mean, none of the other sharks had spikes and this one did, and correlation always equals causation!

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Microraptor, the Tiny Thief

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microraptor)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Microraptor, a beautiful ebony gem that went butterfly-mode and had four wings instead of two. Show-off. From the Early Cretaceous, this 2-foot dromaeosaurid might have been capable of true flight, but also might not have, which would be embarrassing. You went through all this effort to have four separate wings rather than the usual two and you still couldn’t fly?! What a waste of evolution’s time.

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Carnotaurus, the Meat-Eating Bull

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Carnotaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Carnotaurus, a carnivore that heard all other dinosaurs end in ‘saurus’ so decided to change one letter to be distinctive. I respect the commitment to bare minimum effort. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot abelisaurid theropod had two devilish horns and a grumpy personality, making it a big bully in the dino world. Honestly, if my arms were even shorter than T. rex’s, I would be grumpy too.

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Acrocanthosaurus, the High Spined Lizard

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Acrocanthosaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Acrocanthosaurus, perhaps the biggest and meanest predator before the mighty rex ever took its first stomp. From the Early Cretaceous, this 38-foot carcharodontosaurid was roughly the size of T. rex, had the spine of Spinosaurus, and the overall body shape of a Giganotosaurus, making it the ultimate amalgamation of the bad guy dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park franchise, and it’s not even a hybrid! Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

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Platyhystrix, the Flat Porcupine

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platyhystrix)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Platyhystrix, an amphibian with the head of a frog, the back of a newt, and the sail of a Dimetrodon just for giggles. From the Late Carboniferous, this 3-foot temnospondyl swiftly swam and slithered with its sail-lined spine sticking straight out of the surface of the swamp. I’m good with my alliterations sometimes, I reckon.

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Minmi, of the Minmi Crossing

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minmi_paravertebra)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Minmi, a cutesy wittle turtledillo with a cutesy wittle name, one of the shortest names of all dinosaurs if Yi and Zby weren’t a thing. From the Early Cretaceous, this 9-foot ankylosaur nearly got rendered invalid due to insufficient evidence, but thankfully the world was kind enough to provide fossils of other ankylosaurs in its area to prove its distinctiveness as a genus. Sometimes the world is nice and just. Sometimes.

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Homo neanderthalensis, the Neanderthal

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://bit.ly/3UqwgfD )

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Homo neanderthalensis, the archetypal caveman and our bulkier, hairier, and dumber cousins, not unlike my bulkier and hairier and dumber cousins down in Mississippi. From the Late Pleistocene, this 5.5 foot tall hominid never really made it that far in the evolutionary sense, lasting less than a million years and going extinct when the Ice Age ended. It’s all right, Neanderthals, not every creature is Hybodus.

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Erectopus, the Upright Foot

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Erectopus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Erectopus, perhaps the worst name of any dinosaur ever, or maybe the best if you're twelve years old. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot long allosaurid has an interesting backstory in regards to the recovery of its fossils, including rich private collectors and shady fossil dealers. The paleontological black market is really cutthroat, folks, so watch out.

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Koshisaurus, the Lizard of the Koshi Region

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Koshisaurus/Koshisaurus_NT_899f.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Matt David Seivert discuss Koshisaurus, a dinosaur with very little known about it so this episode is basically a sneaky preview episode of Seivert’s other podcast Nerds ‘R Us. From the Early Cretaceous, this 14-foot hadrosaurid lived in Japan and thus we’re perfectly justified in our discussions about Kamen Rider and other stuff, because if I covered only this creature it’d be a three minute episode at best. Check out Nerds ‘R Us: link is in the description! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here, as well as his non-dinosaur-related book "Teslanauts" by clicking here. Nerds 'R Us: https://nerds-r-us.libsyn.com Kamen Rider Revice: https://kamenrider.fandom.com/wiki/Kamen_Rider_Revice

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Brontomerus, the Thunder Thighs

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brontomerus.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Brontomerus to round out Bronto Month, a real voluptuous dinosaur if the name is any indication, which dear God I hope it’s not as that would stir a lot of worrying things in me. From the Early Cretaceous, this 46-foot long camarasaurid sauropod could potentially gallop, climb mountains, and kick predatory dinosaurs like a horse based on its well-developed leg muscles. Mmm, well-developed leg muscles… eesh, calm down, it’s an overgrown lizard. A real thicc one… mmmm… I’m going now.

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Brontotherium, the Thunder Beast

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3S8egF1)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts the De Papier brothers from Matt’s other show The Writ Wit discuss Brontotherium, a creature almost certainly called Megacerops instead but we needed another genus for Bronto Month so we’ll use the outdated name. It’s not misinformation if we outright state its erroneousness! From the Late Eocene, this 16-foot perissodactyl roamed the American scrublands and rammed each other with their horns as fossil evidence seems to suggest. Ouch. Sounds about as painful as this hastily-done episode. And yes, this episode was 100% improvised, why do you ask?

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Brontosaurus, the Thunder Lizard

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.activewild.com/brontosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Brontosaurus, a real dinosaur of a dinosaur that wasn’t valid for a while until suddenly it was, kind of like the inverse of Pluto. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot diplodocid sauropod was a bit chunkier than Apatosaurus with a slightly thicker neck, but otherwise it was basically the same animal at the same time and place. And yet Dracorex and Stygimoloch are considered young Pachycephalosaurus despite their completely different heads… sometimes paleontology makes zero sense.

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Brontoscorpio, the Thunder Scorpion

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Brontoscorpio)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Brontoscorpio, a big fat nope of a creature and the first of our Paleo Bites Bronto Month! From the Early Devonian, this 3-foot arachnid was one of the earliest creatures to make its way onto land, ahead of the lobe-finned fish by several tens of millions of years. Sheesh, if these things were already up there, it makes the fish crawling onto land seem even stupider. Just stay in the water!

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Australotitan, the Southern Titan

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bbc.in/3Rc0j8G)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Australotitan, the biggest Australian land animal of all time that probably had venomous tail spines or exploding scales if modern Australian fauna is any indication. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 95-foot titanosaur lived alongside other local dinosaurs like Australovenator, Austroraptor, and Australopithecus… seems to be a real naming theme going on here. And for those about to message me that Australopithecus was actually an African ape rather than an Australian dinosaur: congratulations, you passed the test. Now you’re a true paleo nerd. Have a sticker.

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Tiktaalik, the Large Freshwater Fish

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiktaalik by Zina Deretsky)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Tiktaalik, a real asshole that should have known what horrible things crawling onto land would eventually lead to for the world. From the Late Devonian, this 8-foot sarcopterygian has been the subject of many memes using this very image about how it’s personally responsible for all of human suffering, which in all honesty might just be a tad harsh. Wait, rent is due soon and I might lose my insurance? Yeah, frick this guy.

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Meraxes, the Great Dragon

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3RFXJbQ)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Meraxes, a dinosaur named after a dragon in A Song of Ice and Fire that lived about as long ago as George R. R. Martin released his last book. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 45-foot carcharodontosaurid theropod was merely one of a plethora of giant meat-eating dinosaurs in this time and place, although they probably didn’t live all at once, that’d be ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as Game of Thrones Season 8, am I right? I’m topical.

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Koolasuchus, the Crocodile of Lesley Kool

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Koolasuchus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Koolasuchus, a giant amphibian from far later than when giant amphibians were cool, kind of like people today with mohawks or rollerblades. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 16-foot temnospondyl hung out in polar waters too cold for the crocodiles throughout the rest of the world, making it a Cool Crocodile, if you will. That’s where it got its name, surely. I’m sure Lesley Kool is a great paleontologist, but c’mon, you had a lucky name for this.

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Sciurumimus, the Squirrel Mimic

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3QdUyqU)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Sciurumimus, a predator with a squirrel-like tail that was probably real cuddly if it didn’t have all those needley teeth and claws coming out of it. From the Late Jurassic, this 3-foot tetanuran theropod didn’t have buckteeth or stored nuts but was still sciurine enough for paleontologists to name it such, although depending on your belief on dinosaur genitalia it might have stored its nuts elsewhere.

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Afrovenator, the African Hunter

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Afrovenator)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Matt David Seivert discuss Afrovenator, a dinosaur that got its title of African Hunter stolen by Carcharodontosaurus, then Dinofelis, then lions, then poachers, then lions again because evil never wins. From the Mid Jurassic, this 25-foot megalosaurid prowled the heart of the continents just as they were splitting up, a messy breakup story if there ever was one. Don’t worry, they’re projected to get back together roughly two hundred million years from now, as although evil never wins, love always does.

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Megapiranha, the Giant Piranha

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://river-monsters.fandom.com/wiki/Megapiranha)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megapiranha, a really freakin' big piranha. Duh. From the Late Miocene, this 3-foot serrasalmid fish was basically a B-movie monster in real life, although it’s still not nearly as horrifying as that one fish from the same river that swims up your urethra. And that one’s not prehistoric either, but in the modern Amazon, threatening unwary pissers even as you listen to this very episode. Enjoy your nightmares, folks!

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Suchomimus, the Crocodile Mimic

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.extinctanimals.org/suchomimus.htm)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Suchomimus, a dinosaur that despite its genus name’s suffix doesn’t look anything like the other ostrich dinos, almost like it’s in a completely different family or something. From the Early Cretaceous, this 36-foot spinosaurid didn’t have a sail like its family’s namesake nor a large forelimb claw like Baryonyx, but at least it was big! And hey, sometimes being big is all you need to be special. I would definitely know.

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Zalambdalestes, the Lambda-Like Robber

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zalambdalestes)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Zalambdalestes, a furry little hopper with a long snout and a rat tail, like if a rabbit and a rat had a baby; a rabbrat, if you will. From the Late Cretaceous, this 7-inch eutherian mammal lived alongside Velociraptor and Protoceratops, meaning it was witness to that event where those two dinosaurs died mid-combat and got fossilized together. Why didn’t it try and save them, huh? I’m on to you, you little rabbrat.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here. Text-to-speech program found at https://readloud.net/english/british/1-male-voice-brian.html

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Fukuiraptor, the Thief of the Fukui Prefecture

Tue, 26 Jul 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukuiraptor)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Matt David Seivert discuss Fukuiraptor, a Japanese dinosaur with a name where the jokes write themselves, but it’d be silly and unprofessional for us to make those jokes. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot megaraptoran theropod is an awesome dinosaur, and if you don’t agree, well, Fuku! …iraptor. What? I said it’d be silly and unprofessional to make those jokes, not that we wouldn’t do them! Have you listened to this show before?

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here. And you can check out the Discord for Matt David's podcast Nerds 'R' Us here: https://discord.gg/PtuCAmXnNn

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Glossopteris, the Tongue Fern

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3nzXfXg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Glossopteris, an ancient tree that… wait, where are you going?! C’mon, not every episode can be about scary dinosaurs with big pointy teeth! From the Permian period, this 100-foot tall seed fern helped paleontologists first propose the idea of continental drift, due to being found all over the southern Gondwanan continents… yeah, you’ve already left, haven’t you? Eh, I don’t blame you, I’m just surprised you lasted nearly 150 episodes.

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Thylacinus, the Tasmanian Tiger

Tue, 12 Jul 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: Public domain photo from 1906. Suck it, copyright laws)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Thylacinus, the most recently extinct creature I’ll allow, as anything later would make this show far too depressing. From the Early Holocene, this 4-foot marsupial first evolved in the later parts of the Ice Age before dying an unceremonious death in a zoo in the 1930s. Ugh, it’s episodes like this that make you root for the COVID-19 virus.

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Megatherium, the Great Beast

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/megatherium-giant-sloth-1093238)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Megatherium, a creature whose full scientific name literally translates to “Great American Beast” but this isn’t 4th of July-related due to it not being that America, so sorry, USA-ians. From the Late Pleistocene, this 20-foot ground sloth dope slapped some Smilodon populator to death to keep said Smilodon populator from doing too much of their namesake populating. Huh, maybe I take the meanings of these scientific names too literally.

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Koparion, the Surgical Knife

Tue, 28 Jun 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koparion)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Koparion, a really old member of its family that's known by its teeth, kind of like my great uncle from Oregon we all try to avoid. From the Late Jurassic, this 3-foot troodontid is getting paleontologists ever so close to discovering that elusive Jurassic era dromaeosaurid, but alas, we have not found it yet, just close relatives. Paleontology's like your crush sometimes: mysterious, attractive, but ultimately disappointing and leaving you with unanswered questions.

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Paraceratherium, the Near Hornless Beast

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://animals.fandom.com/wiki/Paraceratherium)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Paraceratherium, a huge mammal that looked like the result of a mad scientist combining a rhino, giraffe, and elephant into one. From the Oligocene epoch, this 22-foot-tall indricothere is perhaps the largest land mammals could ever get due to their endothermy and bone density... and yet they're still nowhere near the size of the biggest dinosaurs. Once more, dinosaur superiority is confirmed!

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Stegouros, the Roof Tail

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3xmzAyh)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Stegouros, a dinosaur that decided club tails or spike tails weren't cool enough so it went with a mace tail, and let's be honest, it's pretty frigging cool. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot ankylosaurid had enough of predator's crap and smashed its spikey mace-tail-thingy directly into their hearts and ruptured their internal organs... at least if this was a movie. In real life it probably just waved it back and forth to intimidate. Real life is a lot lamer, you see.

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Australovenator, the Southern Hunter

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3thtE8t)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Australovenator, an Australian predatory dinosaur, which is kind of obvious when hearing its name, so I don't know why I bothered to say that. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot megaraptoran theropod was retroactively added into Walking with Dinosaurs as the "dwarf allosaur" after its description in 2009, proving the BBC have the gift of foresight. They should have a crack at that whole future speculative evolution genre, then! They'd be 100% accurate!

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Gastonia, of Robert Gaston

Tue, 31 May 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3kssKkC)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gastonia, a dinosaur with a French-sounding name despite being American; kind of like French fries, except those actually originated in Belgium. From the Early Cretaceous, this 18-foot nodosaurid is the source of many a Disney joke, including in this very episode, so listen to hear some! I bet you can already predict ten of them. God, this show’s so cringey.

(Apologies about the bad audio quality. There was a temporary issue with our recording that day)

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Homo erectus, the Upright Man

Tue, 24 May 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://reinoanimalia.fandom.com/es/wiki/Homo_erectus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Homo erectus, an early form of human whose name makes us all giggle hearing it, and don’t you dare deny it. From the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot-tall hominid was the first human to speak, wield fire, develop tools, and even take on seafaring, which is all amazing and fascinating stuff… never mind, you’re still snickering about its name, aren’t you? Eh, me too. Hehe, gay boner...

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Leaellynasaura, the Lizard of Leaellyn

Tue, 17 May 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Leaellynasaura_new_118a.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Leaellynasaura, a genus name damn hard to spell and even harder to say due to that blasted “e-a-e” at the beginning. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 4-foot ornithopod dealt with harsh winter conditions and frozen hellscapes, which is kind of odd for a dinosaur. Then again, dinosaurs dealt with snow all the time; it wasn’t all jungles and lava back then! Only mostly.

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Archaeoindris, the Ancient Indris Lemur

Tue, 10 May 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archaeoindris)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Archaeoindris, the lemurs’ answer to Gigantopithecus, if that makes a lick of sense. From the Late Pleistocene, this 6-foot paleopropithecid lived its merry lemur life until roughly 2,000 years ago, dying around the same time as Christ Himself. Where’s the Archaeoindris religion then, huh? Who’s to say this lemur didn’t die for our sins?! Ugh, I’m going to Hell for sure.

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Giraffatitan, the Titanic Giraffe

Tue, 03 May 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/500px-Giraffatitan_3380.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Giraffatitan, an African longneck that paleontologists previously confused with Brachiosaurus, which is odd, as its name clearly says it’s a titanic giraffe. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod lays claim to the tallest mounted skeleton in the world, thanks to its display in the Berlin Museum. Wow, that truly is a big giraffe. Titanic, one might say.

(Apologies about the bad audio quality. There was a temporary issue with our recording that day that will also affect the next episode with Laura)

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Ichthyostega, the Fish Roof

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichthyostegalia)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Ichthyostega, one of the first vertebrates to crawl onto land, so if you hate modern things like war, taxes, or reality shows, you can blame this guy. From the Late Devonian, this 5-foot stegocephalian inadvertently paved the path forward for all land vertebrates including humanity. Kind of like that time in 1918 a Private had a limping soldier in his sights and refused to shoot him, but then that soldier turned out to be Hitler. True story. Point is, someone should have pushed Ichthyostega back into the water.

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Pendraig, the Chief Dragon

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3J7dSSK by James Robbins)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Pendraig, a little Welsh dinosaur that’s a bit small and ordinary for a creature named after the legendary King Arthur bloodline, but good on it for having ambition. From the Late Triassic, this 3-foot coelophysid was merely the predecessor of all the great dinosaurs to come, meaning this thing was probably named more after Arthur’s father Uther. You know, the guy who banned magic from his kingdom and really made things worse for everybody? I dunno, I only watched the BBC show.

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Bos primigenius, the Aurochs

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/vincelongo0700/prehistoric-animals/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Bos primigenius, the ancestral cattle and progenitor to all those burgers and milkshakes you love, unless you’re vegetarian or lactose intolerant. From the Late Pleistocene to Early Holocene, this 7-foot bovine roamed the Ice Age prairies and survived beyond its mammoth and wooly rhino companions, only to immediately get roped into human agriculture and butchered en masse for meat. Maybe the mammoths had the better deal.

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Dravidosaurus, the Lizard of the Dravidanadu Region

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image sources: https://bit.ly/3tpvuVj and https://bit.ly/3KTLmoO)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dravidosaurus, a controversial fossil that’s either a stegosaur or a plesiosaur; you know, those two basically identical animals. From the Late Cretaceous, this 10-foot reptile has gone back and forth between identities so much it’s basically a superhero. And like a good superhero, which one’s the mask, and which one’s the true identity? I’m deep, guys.

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Postosuchus, the Crocodile of Post

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/34JG3sD) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Postosuchus, the top predator of its habitat that loved to munch on early dinosaurs before its morning coffee. From the Late Triassic, this 20-foot rauisuchian was one of those crocodylomorph archosaurs that ruled before the dinosaurian archosaurs took over after the Triassic-Jurassic extinction. Boy, this must be all Greek to non-dino fans, huh? And dino fans too, since “morph” and “archo” are actual Greek terms. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here.

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Therizinosaurus, the Scythe Lizard

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Therizinosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Therizinosaurus, a dinosaur that looked like a house-sized goose with claws bigger than your torso, AKA the most terrifying animal ever. From the Late Cretaceous, this 35-foot maniraptoran theropod was initially identified as a giant turtle, because paleontologists are silly sometimes. Then again, imagine one of the ninja turtles with claws like these. That’d be pretty scary. He’d definitely take over Raphael’s role as the bad boy.

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Chasmosaurus, the Gulfed Lizard

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3AB1CHs)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Chasmosaurus, a big-headed horned dinosaur with an even bigger head than most other horned dinosaurs; seriously, look at that big head, look at it! From the Late Cretaceous, this 16-foot ceratopsian had a really, really big head. Not like Torosaurus or Pentaceratops big, but bigger than Triceratops or Styracosaurus for sure. Ugh boy, if you’re not into dinosaurs, this show must be absolute nonsense. Or even if you are into dinosaurs.

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Khaan, the Lord of McKenna

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3r2AJsI)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Khaan, a bizarre feathered dinosaur that, much like an aardvark or the Scarlet Letter, has an extra “A” that it really shouldn’t; that was an English major joke, folks. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot oviraptorosaur was found with another individual alongside it, and thus the holotype is informally known as Romeo and Juliet. Awww. They probably killed themselves after thinking or seeing the other one was dead. That’s another English major joke. Boy, I’m killing it!

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Iberomesornis, the Spanish Intermediate Bird

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Iberomesornis-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Iberomesornis, a tiny Mesozoic bird with teeth and claws but also a beak and no tailbones, almost like evolution exists or something. From the Early Cretaceous, this 6-inch enantiornithine theropod coexisted with pterosaurs while watching them with sneaky eyes, knowing eventually they’d take over their throne as the dominant flying vertebrates. Or their perch, since, you know, they’re birds.

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Platybelodon, the Flat Spear Tusk

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3HcF8iE)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Platybelodon, a scoop-tusked elephant relative that proves duckbilled creatures aren’t limited to hadrosaurs and platypi… or ducks. From the Miocene epoch, this 6-foot-tall proboscid stripped bark off trees like a giant beaver, and may have also scooped water plants from rivers like a hippo, but that theory is outdated currently. Ugh, why must science change?! I hate change! I want things to stay the same forever! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy the latest smartphone and download the newest fad on the play store.

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Ludodactylus, the Toy Pterodactyl

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludodactylus by FunkMonk)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Ludodactylus, a pterosaur that’s been accidentally depicted in toys of Pteranodon for decades due to having the crest of Pteranodon as well as teeth which Pteranodon lacked. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot-wingspan anhanguerid proves that nature can sometimes be just as interesting as human imagination. I wonder if we’ll find out those DIno Rider toys are also accidentally accurate. That’d be cool.

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Epicyon, More Than A Dog

Tue, 08 Feb 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Epicyon_(SciiFii))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Epicyon, a bone-crushing dog that looks a lot like Zuul; the Ghostbusters hellhound, not the ankylosaur Zuul we’ll surely cover someday. From the Miocene epoch, this 6-foot canid has the audacity to say it’s more than a dog, rather than just accepting that it is still in fact a dog, just a really big one. C’mon, Epicyon; self-acceptance is key!

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Proailurus, the Before Cat

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://animaladay.blogspot.com/2012/06/proailurus.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Proailurus, the first cat in the fossil record, followed shortly by the first hairball and the first shock from petting after rubbing your socks on the carpet. From the Oligocene epoch, this 3-foot felid predated humans and hominids in general by millions of years, which explains why cats believe themselves above humanity. They were here before us, and they’ll be here after us. The sooner you accept it, the better.

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Camarasaurus, the Chambered Lizard

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/kD5D20 by Giorgio Rizzo)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Camarasaurus, a huge thunderous longneck that still somehow managed to be boring. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod wasn’t the biggest, tallest, or longest dinosaur of its time, so most documentaries tend to ignore it for the cooler, more striking species. As someone who was never picked in his neighborhood kickball teams, I can relate. I had a rough childhood, folks.

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Sivatherium, the Beast of Shiva

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://novum-terram.fandom.com/wiki/Sivatherium_giganteum_(SciiFii))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Sivatherium, a hoofed mammal that might have lived both before and a little after the Ice Age, which is impressive, since I can barely make it through winter in my apartment. From the Miocene to the Pleistocene, this 12-foot-tall giraffid looked like an okapi on steroids. Hey, how did it clean out its bowels? With a colonos-okapi! ...I’m going home now.

(side note: this episode was recorded before Bob Saget's death, so don't hate our joke at the end for being tasteless. Hate it for other reasons)

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Triceratops, the Three Horned Face

Tue, 11 Jan 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3sOeVlW)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Triceratops, the last of the big four of five dinosaurs any witless schmuck can name to cover on this show. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsian was identified after being uncovered by a cowboy in Wyoming, making it by default the most interesting thing to ever happen in that godforsaken state. Seriously, they could do atom bomb testing in Wyoming and no one would notice or care.

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Opabinia, of the Opabin Pass

Tue, 04 Jan 2022 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Opabinia)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Opabinia, a freakish alien bugger that looks like it stepped straight out of a Doctor Who set. From the Mid Cambrian, this 3-inch stem arthropod had a digestive system in the shape of a U, which as a recovering bulimic, I can relate. Is that too dark of a joke? Eh, who cares, I don’t get paid enough to write these descriptions.

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Yi, the Strange Wing

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yi_(dinosaur) by Emily Willoughby)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Yi, a tiny flying dinosaur before flying dinosaurs were cool, as in evolving-into-birds cool. From the Late Jurassic, this 2-foot scansoriopterygid had the shortest genus name of any dinosaur, and with its full scientific name Yi qi had the shortest binomial name allowed in taxonomy. Shame, I wanted to describe a dinosaur named Z. “A pack of Z are hunting the sauropods in the fern prairies.” Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Alas...

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Nanjinganthus, the Jurassic Flower

Tue, 21 Dec 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3d8sZhj)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Nanjinganthus, an organism that really stretches the definition of “prehistoric animal” in that it flat-out breaks it by not being an animal at all. From the Mid Jurassic, this ancient plant might have been the first flower known to science, pushing the date of their origin back nearly 60 million years! That’s cool, I guess… if you’re a nerd. Only Chads listen to this show.

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Incisivosaurus, the Incisor Lizard

Tue, 14 Dec 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Incisivosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Incisivosaurus, one of the dumbest looking dinosaurs, which is a crime, because dinosaurs are supposed to be cool. From the Early Cretaceous, this 12-foot oviraptorosaur was one of the only members in its family to have teeth, and what teeth! Seriously, buck-teeth?! What is this guy, a naked mole rat?

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Gamerabaena, the Turtle of Gamera

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3wKqJ8P)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gamerabaena, a turtle named after the Japanese movie monster that hasn’t fought Kong… at least not yet. From the Late Cretaceous, this 1.5-foot turtle had nothing noteworthy about it whatsoever other than its name, so naturally we have a lot of banter to fill a half-hour episode on it. Oh, you don’t like our banter? You’re listening to the wrong damn show, then.

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Eremotherium, the Solitary Beast

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/ladalbarran2000/art/Eremotherium-laurillardi-869911522)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Eremotherium, a giant ground sloth that hopefully moved faster than a regular sloth, otherwise its territory would be like a few hundred square feet. From the Late Pleistocene, this 20-foot megatherid lived all the way up to the dawn of human civilization. Not just humans, but human civilization. Prehistory wasn’t that far back, folks!

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Arctodus, the Short-Faced Bear

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://paleo-media.fandom.com/wiki/Arctodus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Arctodus, a big, scary bear that would have wiped out humanity had it invented guns first, so thank God it didn’t. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot bear was actually closely related to the modern spectacled bear, which is not the relative I would have expected. I would think it was more related to the one Joaquin Phoenix killed in that Disney cartoon no one remembers. I remember it, at least. It was all right.

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Guanlong, the Crowned Dragon

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanlong)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Guanlong, a feathered dinosaur with a nose crest and a distant relation to T. rex, like the cassowary but less scary. From the Late Jurassic, this 9-foot proceratosaurid stalked the Chinese jungles and might have been contemporaneous with my boy Sinraptor; not like that matters to literally anyone else.

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Ninjatitan, the Titanic Ninja

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/3oKU54M)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and Matt’s nephew Jacob Poloskey discuss Ninjatitan, a sauropod really inaccurately named, as I’m fairly certain there were no ninjas back then. From the Early Cretaceous, this 66-foot titanosaur was described just this year, proving definitively that dinosaur genus names are getting stupider. Can’t wait to hear about Piraterex buccaneerus in 2027.

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Gargoyleosaurus, the Gargoyle Lizard

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/gargoyleosaurus-daniel-eskridge.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gargoyleosaurus, an early spiky armored boi that had a whole Disney cartoon back in the 90s. From the Late Jurassic, this 15-foot nodosaurid is only on display in the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, as opposed to the previously-covered Denversaurus, which is in Houston instead. Logic?

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Diictodon, the Two Weasel Tooth

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoricreatures.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/diictodon/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Diictodon, a little gopher-like creature that, based on evidence, had burrows bigger than my current apartment. From the Late Permian, this 2-foot synapsid lived during the worst mass extinction in all of Earth’s history, proving those post-apocalyptic stories right that the best way to survive is to hide underground. Except it still went extinct then, so maybe we’re all screwed anyway.

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Pterodaustro, the Southern Wing

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/on-exhibit-posts/pterosaur-of-the-day-pterodaustro)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Pterodaustro, a flamingo/pelican/stork thing with baleen like a whale, except it was a reptile. From the Early Cretaceous, this 8-foot-wingspan pterosaur might have even been pink like flamingos based on its diet, which is nice. Real men wear pink, and a pterosaur is nothing but a real man.

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Nanuqsaurus, the Polar Bear Lizard

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Nanuqsaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Nanuqsaurus, a polar tyrannosaur, which sounds pretty cool to me. Hehe, "cool." From the Late Cretaceous, this 19-foot theropod lived among the snow and ice, which is totally unlike the typical image of dinosaurs in a tropical jungle or swamp. Who's this guy think he is, going against the grain! There's always one outlier, I suppose.

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Daeodon, the Hostile Tooth

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Daeodon)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Daeodon, a nasty pig relative that presumably had the worst breath, but then again, we can't exactly prove that, so maybe it smelled like lilacs. From the Late Oligocene, this 8-foot entelodont would hog all the attention on the plains with all the chaos it would sow. And they'd pork each other. Are my pig puns okay, or am I hamming it up too much?

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Meganeura, the Large-Nerved One

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Meganeura)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Meganeura, a dragonfly the size of an eagle, because we entomophobes haven't suffered enough. From the Late Carboniferous, this 3-foot-wingspan insect ruled the skies of the coal swamps of old, taking pride in the fact that nothing bigger would evolve flight for at least seventy million years. Like, imagine knowing nothing will be bigger than humans until the 70 thousandth millennium. Feels pretty good, right?

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Tyrannosaurus rex, the Tyrant Lizard King

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://bit.ly/2Za8EEl)

Happy 100 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and nearly all of the previous guest co-hosts discuss Tyrannosaurus rex, a dinosaur that needs no introduction. From the Late Cretaceous, this 43-foot theropod is so big and iconic it requires a super-sized episode to fully do it justice, one nearly two hours long! Although granted, at least 80 minutes of it is just more of our usual dumb banter and tangents rather than any meaningful info.

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Longisquama, the One With Long Scales

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Longisquama)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Longisquama, a mysterious creature with tall feather-like scales it presumably used to get a good radio signal so it could catch the game every Sunday. From the Early to Mid Triassic, this 1.5-foot reptile might have been a primitive archosaur, a more basal relative of lizards, or even an extremely early dinosaur. C'mon paleontologists, figure it out already! How hard could it be, really?

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Repenomamus, the Reptilian Mammal

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repenomamus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Repenomamus, the biggest mammal of dinosaur times that actively preyed on dino babies, which is a real switcheroo in the usual predatory roles. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot gobiconodontid was the first sign that mammals would not cower in fear of dinosaurs forever! All it took was a giant space rock sixty million years later. They were the playing the long game, those mammals.

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Charnia, of the Charnwood Forest

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoric-life.fandom.com/wiki/Charnia)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Charnia, a very early animal that, yes, was an animal. I mean, not like a party animal or anything, although we did think it lived in groups. From the Ediacaran period, this 1-inch to 6-foot tall creature lived so long ago that I actually first learned the term "Ediacaran period" when researching for this episode. I always assumed before the Cambrian it was just "Precambrian"! Who knew you could learn stuff on this show?!

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Darwinius, of Charles Darwin

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.org/article/who-was-ida/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Darwinius, a tiny mammal distantly related to the evolutionary line that led to humans, which is cool, but then again, so was Dimetrodon, which is way cooler. From the Eocene epoch, this 2-foot primate was so named to commemorate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin when it was described, or maybe to send young-earth creationists into a seething rage. A primate named for Darwin that evolved into humans?! I bet this thing supported gay marriage, too!

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Concavenator, the Humpbacked Hunter of Cuenca

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/concavenatorRM_2211.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Concavenator, a dinosaur with a raging stiffy on the wrong end, or a less obvious joke. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20 foot carcharodontosaurid had one of the most truly preposterous features of any dinosaur. Seriously, why did that pointy thing exist? And why is it at that part of the back? Is science playing a joke? Well, it's not funny! Unless it's literally a genital, in which case it's hilarious.

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Rapetosaurus, the Malagasy Giant Lizard

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/atrox1/art/Rapetosaurus-211286542)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Rapetosaurus, a longneck big enough to technically be impressive but not so large as to blow your mind into chunks or anything. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot titanosaur was the largest dinosaur currently known from Madagascar, which is pretty neat I'd say. There should be bigger ones, though. I mean, I know it's a small island continent, but c'mon, evolution! Try harder!

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Andrewsarchus, the Leader of Andrews

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrewsarchus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Andrewsarchus, an enormous mammal that's gone through a lot of taxonomical shenanigans lately. From the Late Eocene, this 12-foot artiodactyl was once thought to be a giant dog-like predator with hooves, which is weird, but it turned out to be more a giant pig-like scavenger with hooves, which is less weird. Sometimes nature makes sense.

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Pyroraptor, the Fire Thief

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/830280881294883148/ by Jonathan Kuo)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host (and Matthew's nephew!) Jacob Poloskey discuss Pyroraptor, one of the first raptors known from Europe who also aided the titan Prometheus if its name is any indication. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot dromaeosaurid shares its etymology with pyromaniac, which is cool I guess. Where's the Nymphoraptor or Kleptoraptor then? Wait, kleptomaniacs steal stuff, and raptor means "thief," so would Kleptoraptor mean "thief thief?" Huh, I forgot what I was talking about.

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Colepiocephale, the Knuckle Head

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Colepiocephale)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Colepiocephale, a dinosaur with an adorably G-rated insult in its genus because paleontologists are wholesome that way. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot pachycephalosaur is probably just a few years away from Jack Horner declaring it a baby Pachycephalosaurus, therefore invalidating the Knuckle Head, the Dragon King of Hogwarts, and the Demon of River Styx all in one swoop. What a legacy, Horner. Nah, you've done good work.

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Pliosaurus, Predator X

Tue, 13 Jul 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Pliosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Pliosaurus, a creature that garnered the nickname "Predator X" at one point because "Megabadassaurus" wasn't tryhard enough. From the Late Jurassic, this 40-foot short-necked plesiosaur actually literally means "More Lizard," perhaps due to it looking more like a lizard than Plesiosaurus, but I'm titling this episode after its cooler nickname because it will attract more listeners that way. We're nothing if not transparent here at Paleo Bites.

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Medusaceratops, the Gorgon Horned Face

Tue, 06 Jul 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Medusaceratops-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Medusaceratops, the dinosaur without snake hair or a petrifying gaze but with slightly droopy frill horns and that justifies its name I guess. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid also has the species name lokii, because why have one mythological reference in your scientific name when you can have two? Take that, Sauroposeidon proteles!

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Allosaurus, the Different Lizard

Tue, 29 Jun 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.scified.com/topic/49417)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus, the most common predator of its day and a real piece of work too. From the Late Jurassic, this 35-foot theropod is quite cool but always seems to get overshadowed by T. rex. At least it's on top in Jurassic times! Unless you think Saurophaganax was a separate genus. Which I do. So sorry, Allosaurus.

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Bambiraptor, the Baby Thief

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Bambiraptor-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Bambiraptor, the most adorable member of a family of ruthless cold-blooded monsters. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot dromaeosaur theropod was small enough and had developed enough wing feathers that it might have been capable of flight. Because flying raptors are exactly what we needed. Imagine how much scarier Jurassic Park would be if those raptors flew!

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Masiakasaurus, the Vicious Lizard

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Masiakasaurus-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Masiakasaurus, a serious contender for the dinosaur with the worst teeth. From the Late Cretaceous, this 14-foot noasaurid might have used its teeth for catching fish, small reptiles, and some have even suggested fruit. Because that kind of mouth is what I think of when I think frugivore. Maybe I'll take this guy to the smoothie shop with me on my next trip. Just kidding; I don't go to smoothie shops.

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Muttaburrasaurus, the Muttaburra Lizard

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muttaburrasaurus by NobuTamura)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Muttaburrasaurus, a relative of Iguanodon from Australia before everything there was trying to kill you. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot rhabdodontid may have migrated to Antarctica in the summer, because the two continents were linked back in Mesozoic times. The calm coldness of Antarctica balanced out the dangerous heat of the Outback. How romantic. They really should still be together; I wonder why it didn't work out?

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Shastasaurus, the Mount Shasta Lizard

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/706009679067998263/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Shastasaurus, the biggest marine reptile and biggest non-whale animal of all time; jeez, who are you trying to impress? From the Late Triassic, this 70-foot ichthyosaur goes back and forth in being classified as either its own genus or a subspecies of Shonisaurus, but for now it's its own genus, until paleontologists get drunk and write a paper changing it again.

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Orkoraptor, the Toothed River Thief

Tue, 25 May 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Orkoraptor_a0ab.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Orkoraptor, a dinosaur that has a fantasy race in its genus name and so Matthew managed to get a fantasy nerd to talk about it with him. From the Late Cretaceous, this 24-foot megaraptoran theropod has a confusing taxonomical mess of a history, having been classified before as a dromaeosaur, a tyrannosaur, and even a large compsognathid. Sheesh, scientists, form a conclusion already! Then again, I guess that's what science is.

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Bullockornis, the Demon Duck of Doom

Tue, 18 May 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Bullockornis)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Bullockornis, named after Australia's Bullock Creek but colloquially known as the Demon Duck of Doom. For real. I'm not making this up, even though it's totally on brand. From the Miocene epoch, this 8-foot-tall dromornithid was also known as the Thunder Duck, because one ostentatious nickname wasn't good enough for it I suppose.

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Sauropelta, the Lizard Shield

Tue, 11 May 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Sauropelta-pictures)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Sauropelta, the spiky armored one with spikes slightly spikier than the other spiky armored ones. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot long nodosaurid would make a very unappetizing meal for any wandering T. rex... since by the time the rex evolved, Sauropelta had been extinct for forty million years, and no one wants to eat anything that old.

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content here. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here.

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Dilophosaurus, the Two-Crested Lizard

Tue, 04 May 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.scified.com/topic/32736)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Dilophosaurus, the first dinosaur super-predator that got done real dirty by its single big movie appearance. From the Early Jurassic, this 19-foot theropod was so awesome that it didn't need any frills or poison spit; it could maim and brutalize with just grit alone! We salute you, Dilophosaurus, as one of the few dinosaurs who's real counterpart is cooler than the Hollywood version.

Thank you so much to Feedspot for including Paleo Bites on their Top 15 Podcasts on Prehistoric Life to listen to in 2021!

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Velociraptor, the Fast Thief

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://myths-made-real.blogspot.com/2011/11/creature-feature-velociraptors.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Velociraptor, the scaly man-sized door-opening movie monster, except it was feathered, it was dog-sized, and there were no doors back then for it to open. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot dromaeosaurid was actually relatively obscure in popular media until its big blockbuster appearance, and now people won't shut up about it. Seriously, it's not very scary! More like a six-foot turkey!

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Majungasaurus, the Mahajanga Lizard

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://artbyphil.blogspot.com/2011/09/ifferocious.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Majungasaurus, a meat-eating dinosaur from Madagascar that's seriously unpleasant. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot abelisaurid is one of the few dinosaurs with direct evidence of cannibalism, which means this thing is just as ugly on the inside as it is on the outside. Eeesh. This might be a hot take, but I'm glad this thing's dead.

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Leedsichthys, the Fish of Leeds

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://prehistoricearthblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/leedsichthys/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Leedsichthys, a really, really big fish, and that pretty much sums it up. From the Late Jurassic, this 59-foot fish is like, a really big fish. Seriously, imagine a big fish; Leedsichthys is even bigger than that. Whoa! Hey, didn't Tim Burton make a movie about this creature?

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Struthiomimus, the Ostrich Mimic

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struthiomimus#/media/File:Struthiomimus_BW.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Struthiomimus, the dinosaur with a lot of skulls found due to them sticking their heads in the sand and dying... okay, that's not true, but whatever. From the Late Cretaceous, this 15-foot ornithomimid isn't as famous as it's cousin Gallimimus due to the latter having a big movie appearance in Jurassic Park, but eh, the acting life's not for everyone.

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Denversaurus, the Denver Lizard

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/vP31a)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Denversaurus, the official sponsor dino of the mile-high city when the Rockies baseball team isn't shoving their stupid Triceratops down our throats. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot nodosaurid peacefully browsed the low-lying trees while trying not to get eaten by Tyrannosaurus and the like. We've all been there, haven't we?

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Argentavis, the Argentine Bird

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://aikavaellus.fi/en/timeline/6ma/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Argentavis, the biggest flying bird of all time, unless you think pterosaurs are birds, which if you do, you dumb. From the Late Miocene, this 23-foot-wingspan condor soared across prehistoric Patagonia and terrorized baby ground sloths and hoofed mammals. What a bully. Someone should really do something about this thing! Oh wait, it's extinct.

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Regaliceratops, the Royal Horned Face

Tue, 16 Mar 2021 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://www.sci-news.com/paleontology/science-regaliceratops-peterhewsi-02879.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Regaliceratops, a horned dinosaur with a very regal-looking frill, almost like it's in the name or something. From the Late Cretaceous, this 17-foot dinosaur hosted elegant garden parties and supported the troops while also being hunted by dinosaurs like Albertosaurus. How dare they disrespect royalty like that?!

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Ichthyosaurus, the Fish Lizard

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.dkfindout.com/uk/dinosaurs-and-prehistoric-life/prehistoric-reptiles/ichthyosaurus/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Ichthyosaurus, the reptile trying to be a dolphin trying to be a fish; sheesh, pick a career path already. From the Early Jurassic, this 10-foot marine reptile dominated the early Mesozoic seas only to be replaced by more efficient creatures later on like the mosasaurs. You had your fifteen minutes of fame, Ichthyosaurus, but the real world comes knocking for us all.

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Beelzebufo, the Devil Frog

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beelzebufo by Nobu Tamura)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Beelzebufo, a giant frog that preyed on baby dinosaurs, which is pretty messed up if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 1-foot amphibian terrorized the swamps of Madagascar more than any fossa ever did, or any lemur with a semi-automatic rifle. What documentaries am I watching again?

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Dinornis, the Giant Moa

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Island_giant_moa)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Dinornis, a giant bird from New Zealand that could probably kick your stomach right out of your mouth like a rugby ball. From the Early Holocene, this 12-foot-tall ratite has the honor of being the most recent creature on this show, having been hunted to extinction only six hundred years ago. Yay, humans? God, we suck.

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Livyatan, the Leviathan

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://i.imgur.com/04g1MHn.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Livyatan, the monster whale eighteenth-century sailors all feared despite it living millions of years ago and only being described in the 2010s. From the Late Miocene, this 60-foot cetacean ate other large whales for breakfast and was a direct rival of the monster shark C. megalodon. What a terrifying ocean. Let's never time-travel there.

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Pachyrhinosaurus, the Thick-Nosed Lizard

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/295337688043705239/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Pachyrhinosaurus, a horned dinosaur without a horn that lived up in the cold north. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot ceratopsian had a nose not unlike your Uncle Earl and possibly a feathery coat not unlike your Aunt Edna. Possibly. The feather thing, not the aunt thing. You definitely have an aunt that wears feathery coats.

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Gasosaurus, the Gasoline Lizard

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/gasosaurus_b605.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gasosaurus, a poor schmuck of a dinosaur stuck with a name that'll make third-graders snicker the world over. From the Mid Jurassic, this 12-foot theropod has an unclear placement in the meat-eating dinosaur tree; it could be a carnosaur, a coelurasaur, a metriacanthosaur, or maybe an ancestor of all of them. Sounds lot a load of hot air. (snicker)

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LUCA, the Last Universal Common Ancestor

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/793970609285301591/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jennifer Grossman discuss LUCA, the most recent organism from which all others on Earth have a common descent, which is pretty out-there. From the Precambrian era, this single-celled organism had nothing noteworthy about it whatsoever other than all its descendants, so have hope, all you losers! You might not be special, but your great-grandkids could be! Emphasis on "could."

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Mesohippus, the Middle Horse

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesohippus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Mesohippus, an early form of horse that's just a pink recolor and tramp-stamp away from being on a little girls' merchandise-based cartoon show. From the Eocene epoch, this 2-foot-tall horse wasn't quite Eohippus the early horse, nor like modern late horses, but just in the middle. A middle horse, if you will. Hey, I get it now!

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Liopleurodon, the Smooth-Sided Tooth

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liopleurodon by DiGbd)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Liopleurodon, an infamous sea monster whose size was heavily exaggerated by a certain British documentary, to the disappointment of kaiju fans everywhere. From the Late Jurassic, this 28-foot pliosaurid was still the top predator in its oceanic environment, but that can only offset so much of an overall letdown. Sure, it was big, but I want bigger! BIGGER!!! Eh, whatever.

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Irritator, the Irritating One

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Irritator-Andrey-Atuchin_efcd.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Irritator, a dinosaur with a hilarious name and a not-so-hilarious backstory on how it got it. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot spinosaurid shares a kindred spirit with little brothers everywhere, or at least this particular little brother. I have three older sisters, okay? They can all verify just how irritating I was.

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Aquilops, the Eagle Face

Tue, 29 Dec 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquilops by Nobu Tamura)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Aquilops, an absolutely adorable little critter and one of the best candidates for a dinosaur that would make a great pet. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 2-foot ceratopsian was a transitionary fossil between the more basal members of its family like Psittacosaurus and the slightly more derived members like Protoceratops. But I guess that's just how evolution works, I suppose.

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Styracosaurus, the Spiked Lizard

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Styracosaurus0001_0e99.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Styracosaurus, a dinosaur who spikes unsuspecting predators just as people at New Year's Eve parties spike unsuspecting drinks. From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian was the most famous horned dinosaur other than Triceratops, which is a good place to be. It's always good to have that one friend to count on when the more popular one isn't available. I would know.

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Amphicoelias, the One Hollow on Both Sides

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Amphicoelias_3a81.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Amphicoelias, a dinosaur once thought to have reached absolutely godly sizes but then science had to be all lame and progress. From the Late Jurassic, this 90-foot diplodocid sauropod is the biggest anticlimax in paleontological history, having been downgraded from a nigh-mythical titan to a large-ish commonfolk. Wah-waaah.

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Gigantopithecus, the Giant Ape

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gigantopithecus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gigantopithecus, the closest nature has come to King Kong. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot-tall ape lived in the few jungles that weathered the dry Ice Age climate and tore people's arms off if they beat them at space chess. Oh wait, that's Chewbacca. My mistake.

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Zby, of Georges Zbyszewski

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/744642119611063504/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Zby, a longneck dinosaur with a name so unfathomably silly there's no way in hell it should be real. From the Late Jurassic, this 59-foot turiasaurian sauropod roamed in great herds across the Portuguese coastline... sorry, I can't help but snicker. "A herd of Zby roams across the coastline." Try hearing Kenneth Branagh say that in a documentary!

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Nuralagus rex, the Rabbit King

Tue, 24 Nov 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/sanciusart/art/Nuralagus-rex-recon-808748972)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Nuralagus rex, a large relative of rabbits that's maybe overcompensating a bit by having rex as a species name. From the Pliocene epoch, this 3-foot lagomorph lived on a remote island in the Mediterranean where it promptly became an evolutionary dead-end and went extinct as soon as there were any changes to its ecosystem. Lame.

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Atrociraptor, the Savage Thief

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/hamish1512201/art/Atrociraptor-Marshalli-842072048)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Atrociraptor, a genus name so edgy that Shadow the Hedgehog would think it's too much. From the Late Cretaceous period, this 7-foot dromaeosaurid lasted until 67 million years ago, just before the big Cretaceous extinction event. It was so cool, it knew exactly when to leave. We should all aspire to be like Atrociraptor.

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Palaeoloxodon, the Ancient Cross Tooth

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Palaeoloxodon_recki_(SciiFii))

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Palaeoloxodon, a genus of elephant that had species ranging from the biggest land mammals of all time to miniature ones the size of large dogs. From the Late Pleistocene, this 3 to 18-foot-tall pachyderm was the closest real-life version of the mumakil from Lord of the Rings. In fact, Tolkien said in the original text that they were specifically the size of prehistoric elephants. He meant these. The big species, though, not the dwarf variants.

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Hallucigenia, the Dreamlike One

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/934675/view/hallucigenia-sparsa-invertebrate-illustration)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Hallucigenia, the most WTF species ever featured on this podcast, and that's saying something. From the Mid Cambrian, this 1-inch invertebrate may have been a velvet worm, an early arthropod, or a more bygone creature, but one thing it certainly was is... actually, I have no idea. Seriously, what the hell is this thing?!

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Lystrosaurus, the Shovel Lizard

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lystrosaurus_Assemblage_Zone)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Lystrosaurus, a derpy-looking thing that survived the biggest extinction of all time and at one point made up over half (!) of all life on Earth. From the Late Permian to the Early Triassic, this 4-foot synapsid was without doubt one of the most underrated badasses of all paleontology, which is really saying something, because look at this thing. It's so ugly. What is the secret to your power, Lystrosaurus?!

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Plesiosaurus, the Near Lizard

Tue, 20 Oct 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plesiosaurus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Plesiosaurus, the famous four-flippered fellow that may or may not have surviving populations in a certain Scottish lake. From the Early Jurassic, this 12-foot sauropterygid had a unique method of swimming unseen in any modern creature. Unless, of course, the Scotland thing is true. Which it isn't. Or is it?! Nah, it isn't.

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Xunmenglong, the Swift Dragon

Tue, 13 Oct 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://www.xinhuanet.com/english/2019-11/28/c_138590619.htm)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Xunmenglong, a tiny dinosaur from China and the last of our Paleo Bites X-Series. From the Early Cretaceous, this 1.5-foot compsognathid is not to be confused with the similarly-named Yunmenglong, a big longneck dinosaur from a similar time and place. That's just one letter away! Like, the next letter down alphabetically. Eh, whatever.

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Xenoposeidon, the Strange Earthquake God

Tue, 06 Oct 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://cooldinofacts.fandom.com/wiki/Xenoposeidon)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Xenoposeidon for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a longneck that has bar none the coolest name of any dinosaur. From the Early Cretaceous, this 50-foot rebbachisaurid had its fossils first discovered in the late nineteenth century but it wasn't officially described until 2007! And I thought my procrastinating was bad.

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Xibalbaonyx, the Claw of the Mayan Underworld

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.careerride.com/mchoice/fossil-remains-of-xibalbaonyx-oviceps-a-prehistoric-giant-sloth-found-30773.aspx)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Xibalbaonyx for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a ground sloth first uncovered from an underwater cave in Mexico, which is pretty neat. From the Late Pleistocene, this 11-foot megalonychid was part of a group of sloths that island hopped all the way to North America even before it collided with its ancestral South America. Makes sense, as since they're sloths, the only way they could beat other animals anywhere is by cheating.

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Xuanhanosaurus, the Xuanhan Lizard

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/xuanhanosaurus_01_698f.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Xuanhanosaurus for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a fierce predator from China that looks really cool when written out. From the Mid Jurassic period, this 16-foot metriacanthosaurid was briefly thought to be the only four-legged theropod in the fossil record, but that theory didn't last long because two-legged is way cooler and nature is all about being cool.

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Xiphactinus, the Sword Ray

Tue, 15 Sep 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.fossilera.com/pages/xiphactinus-terror-of-the-inland-seaway)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Xiphactinus for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a big and ugly fish that lived alongside mosasaurs. From the Late Cretaceous, this 21-foot predator is probably most famous for its "fish-within-a-fish" fossil, with a fish nearly half its size in its stomach. Not something I'd want to be known for, personally. I'm self-conscious enough about my diet as it is.

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Xenosmilus, the Alien Knife

Tue, 08 Sep 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Xenosmilus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Xenosmilus, the first in our X-Series on Paleo Bites where we rate creatures whose genus names begin with X. From the Late Pleistocene, this 6-foot saber-toothed cat prowled the jungles of southern USA with a pack of flying saucers at its back. Hey, it's called "alien knife," right? Give me this one.

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Amphicyon, the Ambiguous Dog

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amphicyon)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Amphicyon, an ancestor of both bears and dogs but more dog than bear, hence the nickname "bear-dog." From the Miocene epoch, this 8-foot carnivore was probably a really good boy and would make an excellent pet. Just think of how big his doghouse would be! Who's a good boy? Yes, you are, Amphicyon!

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Prototaxites, the Early Yew

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.allisleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Untitled-8.png)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Prototaxites, a funny-looking organism that formed forests before there were trees. From the Silurian period, this 26-foot-tall fungus was the subject of a great debate between two paleontologists trying to one-up each other about classifying it. You could almost say they were trying to see whose... Prototaxites was bigger? Yeah, that works.

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Brachiosaurus, the Arm Lizard

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/papo_brachiosaurus_2012_cf3f.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Brachiosaurus, a really big longneck that wowed audiences in 1993 as much as that really big spaceship wowed audiences in 1977. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod browsed from the tall trees and may or may not have had a little trunk. Just a random hypothesis. Makes more sense than the crest of Parasaurolophus being a snorkel.

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Anthropornis, the Man Bird

Tue, 11 Aug 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://animaladay.blogspot.com/2011/10/anthropornis.html)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Anthropornis, the biggest penguin of all time with a snicker-inducing name. From the Mid Eocene, this 6-foot-tall bird patrolled the Antarctic waters of old and probably did a lot of cool stuff back in its time. Geddit, "cool," because it lived in Antarctica? I'm sure I'm the first person to ever make that joke.

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Quetzalcoatlus, of the Aztec Serpent God

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Quetzalcoatlus)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Quetzalcoatlus, the pterosaur that stood as tall as a giraffe when on the ground, which is freaking insane. From the Late Cretaceous, this 44-foot-wingspan azhdarchid could have flown for tens of thousands of miles and picked up small dinosaurs with its beak. Seriously, everything about this thing seems too big to be real. It shouldn't exist. I'm putting my foot down, prehistory! You've gone too far.

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Stygimoloch, the River Demon of Styx

Tue, 28 Jul 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/stygimolochspinifer_bd81.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Stygimoloch, the totally valid genus that paleontology will not take away from us no matter what all those pesky facts say. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot pachycephalosaurid had big spikes on its head that apparently shrunk as it grew up, which makes no sense; you got that, Jack Horner?! Hoo boy, I really need to let this go.

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Castoroides, the Giant Beaver

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Castoroides)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Castoroides, the largest beaver of all time and thus the biggest source of "dam" jokes. From the Pleistocene Epoch, this 6-foot beaver had bigger hind feet and a smaller paddle-tail than modern beavers and also might not have built dams, but if they did, they would've been the biggest damn dams you've ever seen! If you thought that was a bad joke, wait 'til you hear the actual episode...

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Ninjadelphis, the Ninja Dolphin

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arktocara)*

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Ninjadelphis, a river dolphin that's high in the rankings of coolest genus names ever. From the Miocene epoch, this 7-foot cetacean is such an elusive master of stealth there's hardly any information available on it. This picture isn't even a Ninjadelphis, but it's close relative Arktocara! Our mission is clear, people: we're gonna put this creature on the map. Unless it tries to assassinate us like its namesake.

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Mosasaurus, the Meuse River Lizard

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 05:56:23 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Mosasaurus_b262.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Mosasaurus, the sea monster of yore that lurked at the edge of the map, so watch out, dinosaur sailors! From the Late Cretaceous, this 56-foot squamate was in the same order of reptiles as lizards and snakes, making it the closest real life version of a giant sea serpent. I wonder how Vikings would have fared against it? Poorly, very poorly I reckon.

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Titanoboa, the Titanic Boa

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Titanoboa)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Titanoboa, the snake with a really uncreative name that weighed as much as a car. From the Paleocene epoch, this 42-foot constrictor just missed out on dinosaurs, so all that fan art you've seen of it crushing a T. rex or whatever was total nonsense. It's a cool image though, so who cares really? Oh yeah, paleontologists.

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Edmontosaurus, the Edmonton Lizard

Tue, 23 Jun 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Edmontosaurus_BW_0c44.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Edmontosaurus, the prime cannon fodder for T. rex attacks everywhere. From the Late Cretaceous, this 40-foot hadrosaur roamed in great herds across North America and had a hell of a complicated naming history. Ever heard of Anatotitan, or Anatosaurus, or Trachodon? All this guy. Get it together, paleontologists.

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Silvacola, the Tiny Forest Dweller

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Silvacola)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Silvacola, the tiniest subject of the show so far, at least until we get around to discussing the first eukaryotic bacteria. From the Early Eocene, this 2-inch hedgehog lived in a great global rainforest and probably did absolutely nothing of note other than be cute. But that's all it needs! Just look at it, d'awww.

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Smilodon, the Saber Tooth

Tue, 09 Jun 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/783556035155570299/)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Smilodon, the famous saber-toothed tiger, except it wasn't a tiger, but then again a starfish isn't a fish either, so it's all just semantics. From the Pleistocene epoch, this 7-foot cat prowled the prairies of both North and South America as a participant of the Great American Interchange, which sounds either like some boring financial conglomerate or something far dirtier.

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Gigantspinosaurus, the Giant Spined Lizard

Tue, 02 Jun 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://image.shutterstock.com/image-illustration/gigantspinosaurus-3d-illustration-260nw-434607592.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gigantspinosaurus, a dinosaur that unfortunately isn't an even bigger Spinosaurus like its name might suggest. From the Late Jurassic, this 14-foot stegosaurid browsed peacefully in the forests of prehistoric China while trying very hard not to get themselves stuck between two trees. Seriously, how big do those shoulder spikes really have to be?

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Albertosaurus, the Alberta Lizard

Tue, 26 May 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/300_lio_albertosaurus_df68.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Albertosaurus, the Canadian tyrannosaur with evidence of pack-hunting, which is pretty terrifying if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 32-foot theropod utterly demolishes the image of polite Canadian culture, unless those large, sharp teeth were meant for helping other dinosaurs open beer bottles. You can't rule it out!

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Dunkleosteus, the Bone of Dunkle

Tue, 19 May 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunkleosteus#/media/File:Dunkleosteus_terrelli_-_MUSE.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Dunkleosteus, the literally boneheaded fish that haunted the nightmares of early sharks. From the Late Devonian, this 26-foot placoderm not only preyed on anything it could get its plated teeth on, but also might have been an early example of giving live birth. So that's weird.

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Sauroniops, the Eye of Sauron

Tue, 12 May 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/sauroniops_pachytholus_by_malvit-d5knpiu_778a.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Sauroniops, servant of Morgoth and conqueror of Middle-Earth, or at least the Middle Cretaceous. From the, well, Mid Cretaceous, this 42-foot carcharodontosaurid was the one lord of the rings, and he does not share power! Well actually, he did; he lived alongside other predators like Suchomimus and Spinosaurus, so there was plenty of predator power to go around.

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Canis dirus, the Dire Wolf

Tue, 05 May 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dire_Wolf?file=Direwolf1.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Canis dirus, the giant wolf ridden by orcs if dorky fantasy stories are to be believed. From the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot dog hunted mastodons and ground sloths while competing with saber-toothed cats for the rank of dominant predator. Because even in prehistoric times, cats and dogs are never friends.

Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here.

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Vulcanodon, the Volcano Tooth

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/vulcanodonNT_249c.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Vulcanodon, the dinosaur representative of the United Federation of Planets if the name is any indication. From the Early Jurassic, this 21-foot sauropod was one of the earliest true sauropods and primarily worked in the science division of the U.S.S. Enterprise... sorry, I can't help the Star Trek jokes! Live long and prosper! Or be like dinosaurs and go extinct... and prosper.

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Purussaurus, the Purus River Lizard

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purussaurus#/media/File:Purussaurus_BW.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Purussaurus, a dino-sized croc living smack-dab in the middle of the Age of Mammals. From the Miocene epoch, this 40-foot caiman lurked in the rivers of South America, which makes it really tempting to jump in the ocean instead. Oh, whoops, this is also when C. megalodon lived. I guess it was just a bad time all around.

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Dracorex, the Dragon King

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dracorex_BW.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Dracorex, the Dragon King of Hogwarts according to its full scientific name Dracorex hogwartsia, which is pretty damn nerdy. From the Late Cretaceous, this 12-foot herbivore was totally valid and not a young Pachycephalosaurus; you hear that, Jack Horner?! Huh? You're not taking away the Dragon King of Hogwarts, you hear?! Who needs science and evidence when you have a cool name like this?

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Anomalocaris, the Abnormal Shrimp

Tue, 07 Apr 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anomalocaris#/media/File:Anomalocaris2019.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Anomalocaris, the first super-predator in Earth's history, albeit "super" only compared to everything else at the time. From the Early Cambrian, this 3-foot radiodont ate plenty of delicious things while simultaneously looking delicious itself. Seriously, imagine this thing fried and breaded and served with cocktail sauce! My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

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Pachycephalosaurus, the Thick-Headed Lizard

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/pachycephalosaurus_l_c101.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Pachycephalosaurus, the cueball-headed lizard that had a thick skull and a bad attitude; cue the stock joke of comparing it to some people you know. From the Late Cretaceous, this 15-foot herbivore apparently grew up with big spikes around its head that it somehow lost as it matured, according to Jack Horner. But what does he know? More than us, probably.

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Helicoprion, the Spiral Saw

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.newdinosaurs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/820_helicoprion_kezrek.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Helicoprion, the buzzsaw shark-like fish that's seriously metal. From the Early Permian, this 35-foot eugeneodontid sliced through fish and squids with the most hardcore set of pearly whites this side of... well, actual sharks.

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Sinraptor, the Chinese Thief

Tue, 17 Mar 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/sinraptor...)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Sinraptor, Matthew's favorite dinosaur for some reason and the star of his Megazoic books. From the Late Jurassic period, this 22-foot metriacanthosaurid was the most awesome dinosaur ever based on our completely objective and totally non-biased analysis. Sorry, but facts are facts.

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Prionosuchus, the Sierra Crocodile

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 06:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prionosuchus#/media/File:Prionosuchus_BW.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Prionosuchus, a big-ass amphibian that ate sharks. From the Early Permian, this 30-foot temnospondyl was an awesome mix of one of those giant super-crocs and a newt. Seriously, if a witch turned you into a newt like this, you'd never want to get better.

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O. megalodon, the Giant Tooth

Tue, 03 Mar 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://cdnph.upi.com/svc/sv/i/361155...)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss C. megalodon, the super-shark star of B-movies everywhere. From the Early Miocene to the Late Pliocene, this 59-foot shark ate whales and terrorized beaches of old, except it was so big there's no way in hell it could get to the shallow waters of a beach. It's totally still alive today, though; I saw it in a YouTube video, so it has to be true!

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Utahraptor, the Utah Thief

Tue, 25 Feb 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/ewilloughb...)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Utahraptor, the feathered fiend from Wyoming we all love, or was that South Dakota? From the Early Cretaceous, this 22-foot dromaeosaurid prowled the Colorado swamps and forests, or was it Montana? Seriously, I have no idea where this thing comes from. Little help?

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Jaekelopterus, the Wing of Jaekel

Tue, 18 Feb 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaekelopterus#/media/File:Jaekelopterus_rhenaniae_reconstruction.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Jaekelopterus, the giant sea scorpion that might have been the largest arthropod ever, because that's exactly what the world needed. From the Early Devonian, this 10-foot eurypterid snipped at fish and other invertebrates while remaining safely confined in the realm of storybooks and horror movies and not real life. This didn't exist. It didn't. That's what my therapist told me!

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Cryodrakon, the Cold Dragon

Tue, 11 Feb 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://cdn.sci-news.com/images/2019/09/image_7582_1-Cryodrakon-boreas.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Cryodrakon, the most Canadian pterosaur ever to Canada. From the Late Cretaceous, this 35-foot-wingspan azhdarchid pterosaur soared high above the woods while showing off the maple leaf pattern on its back like a true Canuck patriot. Or at least, that's what this paleoart would suggest.

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Parasaurolophus, the Near Lizard Crest

Tue, 04 Feb 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Parasaurolophus014_4de9.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Parasaurolophus, probably the most famous dinosaur with a genus name six syllables or more. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot hadrosaur made a lot of ruckus with its crest, riling up dinosaurs with loud noises and music beats. Such a party animal.

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Eoraptor, the Dawn Thief

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/dinosaurs/images/23911591/title/eoraptor-photo)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Eoraptor, the first dinosaur ever maybe, that was part theropod, part sauropod, part basal archosaur; you name it! From the Late Triassic, this 5-foot dinosaur was a tiny beast but an evolutionary giant. Also it ate bugs and plants. Not a specialist, but both. Seriously, just pick a diet. You can't have it both ways, Eo.

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Brachytrachelopan, the Short-Necked Pan

Tue, 21 Jan 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/unlobogris/art/Brachytrachelopan-mesai-23241795)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Brachytrachelopan, the "long"-neck dinosaur with severe anatomical inadequacy issues. From the Late Jurassic period, this 30-foot sauropod has such a short neck that the innuendos write themselves. Make sure this guy doesn't meet Mamenchisaurus, or he'll feel real insecure!

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Mammuthus, the Mammoth

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.nps.gov/bela/learn/historyculture/images/WoollyMammoth_1.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Mammuthus, the proper genus name of the woolly mammoth. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot-tall fuzzy elephant was the unofficial mascot of the Ice Age and survived beyond the construction of the Pyramids of Giza. For real.

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Dreadnoughtus, the One Who Fears Nothing

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://images.dinosaurpictures.org/_a922.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dreadnoughtus, the titanic lumberer that might have been the biggest dinosaur ever, but who knows really? From the Late Cretaceous, this 100-foot sauropod fear very little. In fact, getting it to dread would be for naught. Ohhhhh, Dreadnoughtus, I get it!

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Amargasaurus, the La Amarga Lizard

Tue, 31 Dec 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: http://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Amargasaurus_PC_0445.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Amargasaurus, the spiky longneck that would be real fun at New Year's Eve parties. From the Early Cretaceous, this 35-foot sauropod was a real pain in the neck to predators...literally! That is, Amargasaurus's neck was literally a pain to predators. It makes sense.

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Santanaraptor, the Santana Thief

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/pcab011_santanaraptor_70b8.jpg)

Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Santanaraptor, the primitive tyrannosaurid that's named after the Santana region in Brazil but has "Santa" at the beginning so we're doing it for the holidays. From the Early Cretaceous, this 4-foot theropod is sure to be a big help for the jolly ol' elf this season! Somehow. Who knows how.

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Megaloceros, the Giant Horn

Tue, 17 Dec 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://www.newdinosaurs.com/wp-conte...)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megaloceros, the Ice Age reindeer on steroids. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot deer was one of the most majestic creatures of its day, if you don't count the woolly mammoth, or the woolly rhino, or the cave bear, or the cave lion, or the cavemen. You know, the first modern humans.

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Nasutoceratops, the Big-Nose Horned Face

Tue, 10 Dec 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Nasutoceratops-titusi-splash-990x613_edab.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Nasutoceratops, the Triceratops relative with the horns of a bull, and that's no bull. Or another, better joke. From the Late Cretaceous period, this 15-foot ceratopsian rammed its way through the competition of its time, and that wuddn't no rodeo.

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Stegosaurus, the Roofed Lizard

Tue, 03 Dec 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: By Nobu Tamura (http://spinops.blogspot.com) - Own work, CC BY 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=19459399)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Stegosaurus, the famous spiked herbivore with giant things growing on its back, except not in the gross way. From the Late Jurassic, this 30-foot-long dinosaur sashayed its spikes and plates as it strutted across the fern prairies, while skewering the snot out of Allosaurus legs.

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Arthropleura, the Jointed Ribs

Tue, 26 Nov 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://i.imgur.com/2ERyciu.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Christina Eilert and Jake Chapman discuss Arthropleura, the car-sized millipede that's all kinds of nope. From the Late Carboniferous, this 13-foot arthropod terrorized the coal swamps of old and the nightmares of new. Except it was an herbivore, so it didn't really terrorize the swamps, but definitely still the nightmares.

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Giganotosaurus, the Giant Southern Lizard

Tue, 19 Nov 2019 07:00:00 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Giganotosaurus_BW.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Giganotosaurus, the meat-eater bigger than T. rex except maybe they were the same size except maybe Giganotosaurus was a little longer. From the Late Cretaceous, this 42-foot theropod terrorized the Argentinian wilds back in the day, possibly even eating the Argentinian dinosaur Argentinosaurus! Whoa, Argentina!

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Apatosaurus, the Deceptive Lizard

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 01:51:43 GMT

(image source: http://www.nenature.com/Dinosaurs/Apatosaurus.htm)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Apatosaurus, the famous longneck martyr that tragically fought off the Sharptooth that one time. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod ate a lot of trees and caused a lot of drama during the great Bone Wars. Exciting stuff!

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Dimetrodon, the Two-Measured Tooth

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 01:46:09 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimetrodon#/media/File:Dimetrodon_milleri.jpg)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dimetrodon, the non-dinosaur that's every kid's favorite dinosaur, but it's not a dinosaur. From the Early Permian, this 15-foot long synapsid is the coolest dinosaur ever! Except it's not a dinosaur.

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Ankylosaurus, the Fused Lizard

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 01:04:20 GMT

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ankylosaurus_dinosaur.png)

Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Christina Eilert and Jake Chapman discuss Ankylosaurus, the tank of the dinosaurs, except not, because it doesn't have a cannon. From the Late Cretaceous, this 26-foot long armored herbivore is sure to wallop you in the knees with entertainment and a big lump of bone and osteoderms at the end of its tail!

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