Pay It Forward Radio

We Are All Human First (and Dancing)

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMT

I like dancing and I like seeing people get along.

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Influence, Ice, and Purpose

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 01:48:00 GMT

Influence and change starts with us.

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Because I Need It Today

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 10:53:02 GMT

Because today, I need it. and maybe it's just I needed to say it.

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From 2025 and Beyond (Part 2 of 3)

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 21:00:00 GMT

Some more thoughts on responsibility and doing other things in the midst of this.

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From 2025 and Beyond (Part 1 of 3)

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 10:43:01 GMT

A definite shift in who I am. I've changed a lot, and I figure here we can start exploring how much. Part 1 of 3

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Traveling

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 05:44:04 GMT

My first episode back in a while. I talk about traveling, neurodivergency, relationships, economics, idk it was a lot lol.

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I Dont Wanna Let You Go (And Just Like That)

Sat, 31 Aug 2024 11:11:17 GMT

Because confession is one of the most powerful things a person can do.

I realized at 2 A.M. that i didn't want to let go of my dad.

That i didnt want to let go of my ex(es)

That i didn't want to let go of my mentor

That i simply was gonna get my debt paid, one way or another..

And just like that, when i said it, something changed for the better.

IF hthis is you, I see you. I hear you. And i love you.

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I'm Not Your Debt Collector Anymore

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 06:26:54 GMT

Because debt sucks, and I want out, and sometimes life is better without people owing you.

The words i used in the Podcast:

"____, you owe me a debt. you did _____ to me, and it made me feel ______. you hurt me, and you owe me, and today i forgive you. I am charging off your account. I will not pursue you or anyone else like you over this debt anymore. I am giving your debt to God now, and the next time i see you, i will speak to you as if you never owed me any debt anymore."

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Come As You Are (Perfectionism)

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 06:16:22 GMT

What's good gang. was up and had some experiences about perfectionism, wanted to share them.

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We're Just Getting Started

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 08:38:02 GMT

Thanks for being patient.

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Being Your Truest Self (Ft. Tiffany Toney)

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 19:00:16 GMT

This is someone i've been wanting to talk to for a while. There's a lot i could say about Tiffany Toney: writer, director, actress, singer, former athlete, but those things don't matter nearly as much as her being REAL. I couldn't have asked for a realer time with a realer person. Thanks for holding me accountable and being your truest self.

I appreciate you a lot.

Go watch BORA the movie (not for the kids) on Tubi, Amazon Prime

Follow Tiffany Toney @Tiffany_Toney

Follow BORA the Movie at @Borathemovie

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Pay It Forward Live: Needs and Expectations

Sun, 10 Sep 2023 05:12:20 GMT

This was a hot-off-the-press revelation about how my expectations have kept me from being vulnerable, and how they (and the ones of others) stop people from showing up and being who they truly are.

This was done on live so i was also responding to comments.

Thanks for always listening yall.

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PAY IT FORWARD LIVE

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 02:03:58 GMT

I decided to try something new, and simulcast this on Instagram Live as well as this recording.

this was a real fun time. felt really transparent and like my truest self. thank yall for pulling up.

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Boundaries and Containers (Ft. The Authentic Man Podcast)

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 19:00:22 GMT

(There were some issues with the audio on this one, so please forgive the absence of the intro and outro)

I've been excited, anxious, and happy to have this interview. I think yall will like this too. He put words to things ive been trying to understand for years, and what it means for another black man to see a black man doing the work himself, it really touched my heart. Thanks for being you David.

His Podcast: The Authentic Man Podcast

His instagram: @theauthenticman_

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You're Good as You Are, Right Where You Are

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 01:22:47 GMT

Because (we) you are.

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Fathers Day, The Father Wound, One Thing At A Time

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 00:34:22 GMT

(Not quite a Short, but a shorter episode then I normally do)

For anyone who's listening: Just one thing for yourself at a time is enough.

I see you.

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Trust Yourself, Trust in The Force

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 19:00:56 GMT

Was inspired by Jedi Survivor, really got me thinking about what it means to love myself.

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Both Things Are True (On True Connection)

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 19:00:04 GMT

I can receive someone's love or reject someone's love, either of the two is acceptance. the only way i don't accept is if i do neither.

Something that came to mind while i was doing this episode, and what it means to really connect.

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Remembering Who I am (Saying Yes to Me)

Fri, 19 May 2023 19:00:06 GMT

I've been controlling the perceptions of others about me for a long time.

And everybody else around me pays the price when i do that.

Ive been doing it because i feel scared.

This is me showing up.

This is me accepting me.

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Options (And Choosing What Is, Again)

Wed, 10 May 2023 19:00:32 GMT

Some more growing pains and some more showing up for me.

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The Drivers Seat (Making Choices)

Wed, 03 May 2023 19:00:23 GMT

I've been thinking about driving lately, never got my license. It kind of also showed me how i have places i dont know how to show up for myself in my life. just some life experience and some growth moments for me.

If you love it, pay it forward to somebody else

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Breakdowns and Breakthroughs

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 19:00:38 GMT

Because I had a meltdown.

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Who Else HATES Having Needs?

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 23:59:30 GMT

Me, im the who else.

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The Struggles Of Ministry (Ft. Daniel Kelly of The Real Prayer Movement)

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 19:00:22 GMT

On this guest segment, I interview Daniel Kelly, the Founder of the Real Prayer Movement and Your Daily Podcast. i've never talked to him about what his personal struggles and experiences have been like. so today we are gonna dive deep and be real about it.

Thanks for giving yourself to the world bro.

Instagram/Social Media: @therealprayermovement

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Order/Control

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 19:00:31 GMT

Had some experiences that helped me realize i need help letting go of my idea of control.

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All Leaders Teach, But Not all Teachers Lead

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 19:00:56 GMT

One of my uncles died, and i got to doom scrolling on instagram. This is my way of embracing where i am, who i am, and who i am becoming, and leading from the front.

Bible Story that i mentioned: Joshua 1

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It All Starts (and Ends) With Us

Sun, 05 Mar 2023 20:00:01 GMT

Was inspired by a quote about parenting, and it caused me to think about my journey through life to this point and what it means for my future children.

Here it is.

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Building Men (Ft. Dennis Morolda of Building Men Podcast)

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 20:00:59 GMT

First episode back on the new season of Pay It Forward, honoring my word that i gave a long time ago.

I promised guest segments, and now is the time for them.

Had an awesome conversation/interview with Dennis Morolda of Building Men Podcast. He does the work with teens. he's the type of mentor i wish i had as a teenager.

To check out his work, look up Building Men Podcast on all podcasting sites, or @building.men on instagram.

Poems Mentioned in the Interview:

If, by Rudyard Kipling

The Bridge Builder, by Will Allen Dromgoole

the Man in the Glass, unknown author

Thank you for all that you do Dennis.

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Being Deliberate

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 00:11:12 GMT

My Journey on being deliberate, grieving, True Masculinity, and my first upcoming Guest segment in 2 weeks.

Qigong beginner Exercises - https://youtu.be/-5KhQ4znaWI

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Why Men REALLY need Community (RIP Twitch)

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 01:58:51 GMT

Was really moved by a sudden death by suicide i heard of a brother who worked on the Ellen show, and it just struck me again how much men need healthy community. how much I need it.

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Thanksgiving Dinner

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 22:55:44 GMT

Was thinking about thanksgiving dinner, and how i feel about it, and it kind of occured to me that a lot of friendships and relationships are like that too.

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Choosing What Is

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 01:03:22 GMT

Had an experience at a friendsgiving, learned some cool new stuff. paying it forward as usual. love yall

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Too Much, Not Enough (R.I.P Takeoff)

Wed, 02 Nov 2022 21:30:00 GMT

Because i still feel like im not enough and it makes sense to talk about it.

R.I.P Takeoff of the Migos.

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Is Love Blind?

Sat, 29 Oct 2022 02:56:34 GMT

My Thoughts on Love is Blind, Season 3, and what the word Love actually means.

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Talents (Finale)

Thu, 20 Oct 2022 22:14:41 GMT

Because today, im making my talents my friend.

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Loyalty vs Faithfulness

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 22:53:04 GMT

Just my thoughts about Loyalty and Faithfulness as a early 30 year old, vs how i felt when i was younger.

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Anger, The Protective Emotion

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 03:23:47 GMT

Inspired by a podcast one of my sisters and friends sent me. step by step making my feelings my friends, so my body doesnt have to keep the score.

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Because You Want To, Because You Can (Talents Pt 2)

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 04:52:27 GMT

Trigger Warning: A few curse words.

There is a difference between what you have to do, and what you do because you want to and because you can.

This is what im learning right now .

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Talents (Share your Gifts with the World)

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 00:44:00 GMT

I had a conversation with a mentor, and it taught me that i need not fear my talents but take responsibility.

So this is me taking responsiblity.

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Vices(or "Ray, dont let anybody make you a cripple") - A quote from the Ray Charles Movie)

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 01:22:44 GMT

The Ray Charles movie inspired me to talk about my own experiences and growth with vices, and the inspiration came from the quote from "Ray Charles's mother" , and the issues that go beyond the vices themselves.

Disclaimer: this quote is not designed to attack, offend, or harm any that are in the disabled community.

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Obligation

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 00:52:49 GMT

New Intro, New Healing, New Short.

Thank you guys for always showing up with me.

Mentions of Abuse, Slavery etc (trigger warnings)

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Letting Go

Sun, 17 Jul 2022 04:17:38 GMT

I let go some today.

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Fathers Day Grief

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 02:40:16 GMT

On this one, I grieve.

(Mentions of Addiction, Porn, Warning)

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Cognitive Dissonance

Sat, 07 May 2022 05:15:38 GMT

Been learning about Cognitive Dissonance and this is what ive learned so far.

Love you guys.

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Forgiveness

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 01:41:05 GMT

A Short on grieving the end of a friendship in life because of a difference in personal values.

A short on forgiveness and what that means now to me.

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Brene' Brown Inspired Me.. (To Be Vulnerable)

Sat, 02 Apr 2022 06:07:13 GMT

A New Series of Short Content.

When someone says something that inspires me, im gonna share about it on here.

Brene Brown Inspired Me to be Vulnerable

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Failing Successfully (Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Porn)

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 19:00:30 GMT

I Talk about failing successfully.

I talk about my experiences with porn.

I talk about parents being kids.

I talk about being one too.

I talk about my struggles with my own identity.

I talk about not knowing how to fail successfully.

I talk about learning how.

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Transparency (Your Armor Isn't Needed Here)

Sun, 30 Jan 2022 17:00:00 GMT

Entering into 2022 with a lot of musings about transparency, shame, being real, God, and what that all means to me. Title Quote inspired by Bryan Reeves' Book (Choose Her Everyday or Leave Her)

Love yall, glad to be back.

My Spiritual Community: realprayermovement.org

Support the show (http://cashapp.com/bwade061490)

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A Man Without A Elder's Praise...

Wed, 10 Nov 2021 17:00:00 GMT

This was inspired by a conversation I had with a brother, and taking a look at the new success in my life, and how deeply unprepared I feel for it, and by a mentor and friend's passage out of his book, Choose Her Everyday (Or Leave Her).

Men need consistent, trustworthy praise from other, wiser men. this is a void that can't be filled by anything, and when it isn't filled, we get what we have currently going on in the world; pain and loss.

This is my contribution to getting community back.

Follow Bryan @bryanreevesinsight
Look up Elevate 2022 also @Bryanreevesinsight

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Authenticity and Integrity

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 16:00:00 GMT

Warning: a few swears.

Recorded this live to an audience on a Discord community I participate in, was inspired by @hotdamnirock and his journey of authenticity. I talk about the deep pain of being let down by older mentors, work and healing from newer people I have met, and the need for integrity and being real.

Im back yall.

Link to Zu's Tribe Discord: https://discord.gg/JKr3DRGF

My Prayer Community: realprayermovement.org

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ELEVATE 2021 PT.1

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 16:00:00 GMT

My Experience with Bryan Reeves of Bryan Reeves Insight at Elevate 2021. it was a whole week of firsts. There will be a part 2 of this where i interview him on his experience with this.

Look forward to the Video Podcast soon to come.

Follow Bryan @bryanreevesinsight

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It's Good But Is it Honest? (Keeping Promises to Me)

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 16:00:00 GMT

SO this one went in a direction that i didn't quite plan. midway through i pivoted, and started talking about what was really on my heart - the value of keeping promises to me and what that means.

There are a lot of christian allusions so for anyone that this may not be your cup of tea i feel you.

Thanks for walking with me on my journey yall.

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My Story (Trigger Warnings: emotional, physical abuse)

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 16:00:00 GMT

Normally i just share experiences that others may relate to. I want connection and the only way i can truly get it is to be honest with myself. this was a really uncomfortable story to tell, but it's mine.

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Broken Masculinity (a work in progress)

Mon, 24 May 2021 16:00:00 GMT

had a convo with a friend that sparked this conversation. really just exploring what it means for me to be a man and what masculinity actually means in this world.

People that i look to that have mentored me directly or indirectly, emotionally or spiritually, thank you guys so much.

Bryan Reeves @Bryanreevesinsight
Steve Wood @itsstevewood
Silvy Khoucasian @silvykhoucasian
Nzinga Moore @iamnzingamoore
Munday Smith @smithmunday

My Spiritual Community: @therealprayermovement

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Loneliness (And Keeping Promises To Yourself)

Wed, 12 May 2021 16:00:00 GMT

Reconnecting with myself has been a struggle, especially as i've had some new experiences that have been cool. One thing that's been healing to me is to keep small promises to myself,. this is one of them.

My Spiritual Community: http://realprayermovement.org

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The Still, Small Voice (+ 2021 Recap)

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

To kick off Season 4: A Recap of my journey so far with Pay It Forward - where it is now, and where it's going next, and the latest thing ive been working on: silencing the external voices and listening to the still, small voice.

Shoutouts to:
Steve Wood @itsstevewood
Nzinga Moore @iamnzingamoore
Christina Barsi @thebarsi
Sonn Eidem @twostepsaheadpodcast
Bryan Reeves @bryanreevesinsight

Our friends help us find the way home.

My Spiritual Community: realprayermovement.org

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Disappointment (Spoiler Alert: it's ok)

Thu, 31 Dec 2020 17:00:00 GMT

In this last (or possibly second to last episode) of the year and last episode of the season I've been letting myself feel some things that were unsafe for me to feel before my dad died. one of them has been disappointment.

it's sucked, ima be honest. its not a feeling I'm too comfortable with. and maybe that's okay too.
I put a few tips in for anyone who's feeling like me - that disappointment isn't ok, and maybe for you it isnt...and that's okay too.

love y'all.

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How Are You Feeling? (A Check In)

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 17:00:00 GMT

Election week has felt very intense. lately I have been feeling stress, overwhelm, anxiousness, excitement, contentment, fear, and a few other things.

Lately, I have also felt numb to those feelings.

And that's OK.

This is my exploration of survival mode, what feeling our feelings actually does, and how allowing ourselves to feel, is one step closer to allowing ourselves to BE.

and in doing so, maybe we end up fulfilling our purpose after all.

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All Things Faith (And making room to Be)

Sun, 11 Oct 2020 03:00:00 GMT

A Emotionally inspiring and challenging month, this is my growth and experience in letting God be God and what being authentic means to me and my faith in the next stage of my life

Streaming on Radiowarp.com Monday/Wed From 12PM-1PM - Tue/Thursday 5PM -6PM PST

Real Prayer Movement - Non Religious Prayer Line I am involved in - https://us04web.zoom.us/j/79534717147?pwd=MnpJMW1hWWtXd29zOWdpdTdPZ0QyUT09

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BLM, Unpacking Trauma, and Choosing Peace

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 16:00:00 GMT

My experience with my Prayer Group, Real Prayer Movement, at the BLM Los Angeles Protest, and what it was like meeting some cops right after and praying with them, and realizing i hadn't felt really deeply in a while. My experience this last few weeks with the reality of trauma and emotional addiction, learning how to feel again, and making the choice to allow my feelings to flow, and accepting and choosing peace.

Follow me @Payitforwardradio

Join our Non religious zoom Call Monday through Friday 10-11 PM PST and Sunday 11AM - 12PM PST.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/79534717147?pwd=MnpJMW1hWWtXd29zOWdpdTdPZ0QyUT09

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Authenticity is the Way Home

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 01:00:00 GMT

Been feeling numb and with some inspiration from @bryanreevesinsight...realized I gotta open up more to myself.

feels like rambling maybe it’s finding the way home.

follow my journey @payitforwardradio

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Death And Transformation

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 16:00:00 GMT

When a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it passes through a period of being sludge.

Nobody told me what it was gonna be like to change

My whole equilibrium is changing and it's disorienting, and here I am.

You're not alone.

Follow me @payitforwardradio

Streaming Live on Eidem Rocks Radio

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JUST SHOW UP.

Sat, 01 Aug 2020 16:00:00 GMT

Looks like the most important thing I can bring to the table is me. as I am, because even when it doesn't seem or feel like it, right where I am is right where I need to be. this felt really good.

My testimony of my time at Pasadena City College, and where I'm at at 30 and other life stuff.

Follow me @Payitforwardradio

Streaming Live Exclusively on Eidem Rocks Radio
www.elasticplayer.xyz/eidem/
12PM/1PM PST Mon/Wed - 5PM to 6PM Tue/Thur PST

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Interview With Christina Barsi of Be Bold Begin/Avant Haus Media

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 16:00:00 GMT

A interview segment with a good friend of mine, Christina Barsi of Be Bold Begin Podcast and Avant Haus Media - we talk often about being real, present, and feelings, and authenticity, and she asked me to be on her show. I talk about my personal story and testimony, and I touch upon what it means to be a black man in a changing landscape. this is one of our conversations.

Thanks so much Christina for having me.

Follow her @thebarsi
Follow my podcast @payitforwardradio

streaming live on Eidem Rocks Radio (Monday/Wednesday 12PM - Tuesdays/Thursdays 5PM PST)

www.elasticplayer.xyz/eidem/

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I Give You Permission...

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 16:00:00 GMT

I woke up this morning with this message in my heart and spirit: LET GO.

not letting go of negative feelings, but letting go of the part of me that does not believe it is safe to be. letting go of the part of me that fears feeling as a weakness.

A dive into masculine and feminine energy and faith.

This is a permission slip: We have permission to be. We have permission to let go. we have permission to surrender.

Streaming live on Eidem Rocks Radio (Link in IG Bio)

@Payitforwardradio

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Come As You Are (Being Present)

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 16:00:00 GMT

I'm still grieving my father figures, and figuring out how to be present.

trying something new here.

Streaming live on Eidem Rocks Radio (Link in Bio)

Instagram @payitforwardradio

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Dear Dad (R.I.P Dr. KL Williams and Robert Wade)

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 16:00:00 GMT

on June 18, I found out my spiritual father and mentor died. a lot of life is coming out of this, but this really hurts. I meant to talk about something else, but I promised that I would be real to you guys.

this is my testimony.

for anyone that doesn't feel like they have a father anymore, I see you. I love you.

Pops, I love you and I miss you.

@payitforwardradio

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A New Beginning (And My Testimony)

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 17:00:00 GMT

This is a new beginning for me, but the heart is the same.

Follow @Payitforwardradio

Streaming on @eidemrocks

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A Change is Here (R.I.P George Floyd)

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 17:00:00 GMT

R.I.P George Floyd, Ahmaud Aubrey, and so many more of us that are in my subconscious that I can't even process. I love y'all.

Welcome back to pay it forward. let's get real.

Instagram @payitforwardradio

Find me on Apple Music, Spotify, IHeartRadio, and many more.

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The Power of Being In Heart (Ft. Bryan Reeves of Men, This Way)

Sun, 16 Feb 2020 00:00:00 GMT

A powerful discussion about the value of being in heart.

(Featuring Bryan Reeves of Men, This Way)

I needed this one.

Follow me @payitforwardradio
Follow Bryan @bryanreevesinsight

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It's Ok To Feel it to Heal It

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 02:08:48 GMT

A Respectful conversation and encouragement that our hearts and bodies need love, and that if you are grieving, you are not alone.

Follow Me @Payitforwardradio

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Rest, Rejuvenate, Be Real

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 02:01:03 GMT

A Heart to Heart talk from me to you, about my personal gains and victories over my struggles with sleep, rest, and being authentic. Some Practical tips on Laughing, Faith, and how to relax and just live.

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