Pick up the Phone

Cough drop name drops

Thu, 23 Mar 2023 02:10:00 GMT

On today's episode, I start out with the most recent stupid thing the internet told me I need to buy (it's skincare, and I am embarrassed) and consider the role influencers play on the economy. Then I give an update (!!) to a previous traumatic experience I had in a coffee shop, which is a new but equally traumatic coffee shop experience. Our final story comes from a rabbit hole I ended up in after I lost my voice, which led me to discover what the "most hip-hop words" are.

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Awad talks public transit engineering + impact

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 22:50:14 GMT

This week's Desk Chair Expert, Awad, is a transportation engineer, and I start out the episode trying to figure out what the heck that even means. We dive into the important role public transit plays in a community as well as debating what makes a good subway system and I give my Full Official Review of the Washington, D.C. metro. Awad explains his previous work with autonomous vehicles and we compete to see who had a worse driver's ed experience (it was me). We talk about what public transit looks like across the world and Awad walks us through a project he's currently working on to collect and share transit data in Khartoum, Sudan. In between all of this, we chat about casual mansplaining, my transformation into a Darts Girl, and how to deal with disagreements in subtle ways.

As a reminder, this series is called Desk Chair Expert because the guests are regular people talking about subjects they find interesting. Please understand that they are discussing the extent of their personal knowledge and expressing their individual opinions.

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The case against fridge water

Sat, 04 Feb 2023 01:12:20 GMT

I start this episode talking about something my family did that I thought everyone else did, and how it took me years to figure out that we weren't the normal ones. Then I recount two of the (very few) times I've been skiing, both of which ended in disaster. One time ended in an actual fall, and the other severely damaged my pride, which we all know is much worse. Finally, I share my pitch for how I would like to see political parties rename themselves to give voters a clear idea of candidates' actual policy issues.

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Meghan talks moving cities + artificial intelligence

Wed, 18 Jan 2023 03:17:26 GMT

The theme of this episode is all things New! Meghan, the featured Desk Chair Expert, gives her thoughts on New Years' resolutions, realizing you don't like your major and choosing a new one, how to establish yourself in a new city, and what new technologies are emerging that make her most excited. Listen for stories about how our friendship was love at first nerdy sight (we met in math class) and ways we were able to make friends after moving to a new place (including a fair bit of wallowing in loneliness). In addition, Meghan and I do a demo of what ChatGPT, a new generative chatbot, is like and debate our thoughts on the ethics of Artificial Intelligence, data privacy, and how technology affects cheating in schools.

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Vampire propaganda

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 05:10:46 GMT

On today's episode, I start by sharing a magical ability I think I might have and why "normal" superpowers are better than flashy ones. Then I discuss why I find the vampire obsession on TV shows overdone and all the ways I think supernatural shows could be more interesting. All those love triangles but still only vampires and werewolves? Really?? Finally, my take on the one thing Karen's get right (I promise it's not as terrible as it sounds). In the new year, I'm hoping to be 5% more annoying, but only when it's warranted.

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Brendan talks acting, agents, + film

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 04:03:03 GMT

Today's Desk Chair Expert is Brendan, another friend from my college comedy days. We catch up on what he's been up to in the years since, particularly what it's like to try and pursue acting on top of a full-time job. Brendan shares his honest and helpful advice on how to meet other entertainers, what to look for in an agent, and what to expect if you're not super wealthy and/or a nepotism baby. He also does his best assessment of how I would be typecast in the film industry. On top of that, we share our hot and mildy warm takes on the Real Housewives, "theater kids," and overdone comedy bits. Bonus: enjoy watching Brendan die a little inside every time I don't get a movie or TV reference.

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Trash can economics

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 04:04:42 GMT

We're starting out strong this week with a tale of what happens when dads let their wildest opinions out while shopping. Then I detail my extremely academic research into How to Tell if Your Friend is Secretly Super Rich (data doesn't lie, folks, and neither does their faucet). I share why I think the Wolf of Wall Street actually has a lot in common with sugar daddy DM's on social media and then recount some weird moments I've had being the only girl in a group of dudes.

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Paolo talks competitive chess + RA secrets

Wed, 12 Oct 2022 02:17:11 GMT

What happens when you combine two Recovering Former Tryhards? You get this week's podcast with our Desk Chair Expert, Paolo. He gives us all the info that Queen's Gambit didn't, including which kinds of chess boards are the most annoying to play on, who caused the latest chess scandal (because apparently those exist), and what the heck a "gambit" even is. Then we turn to his time as a Resident Advisor (RA) at university. Paolo and I swap stories of getting in trouble with RA's and then he shares his approach to being a good role model for people your own age. We also compare which of us had the nerdier childhood and talk through some ways we're trying to get past our tryhard habits.

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Crybaby camper

Sat, 24 Sep 2022 00:58:27 GMT

Coming in hot, I tell everyone about my childhood envy over not having a celebrity lookalike but why I actually think that's kind of a good thing now. Then I admit why I think I'm too privileged to go camping (I swear it's not as controversial as it sounds) (someone please tell me if you can wear contacts on a camping trip). Closing it out is a recent conclusion I've come to about the official worst job a person can have. Beware.

PS if you hear sirens in the background, no you don't.

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Agustin talks grand adventures + small towns

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 16:20:34 GMT

You ever have that one friend that is always turning anything small into a Whole Big Thing? For me, that person is this week's Desk Chair Expert, Agustin. We get to hear about this summer's Big Thing, biking across the USA (featuring billboards, bar crawls, and a North Dakota monastery). Then I ask Agustin to reflect on his own mindset and we share our thoughts on how to make your own fun and how to deal with the pressure to race through life. We also spill some stories about the curse on our friendship AKA how we've managed to cause some trouble in every city we visit. Finally, Agustin talks about some of his other favorite adventures, including farming in Norway and making wine in a dorm room.

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Ye olde commitment issues

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 03:18:14 GMT

First things first, I do my best impression of the absolutely crazy way American TV anchors read news headlines. Then I discuss all the reasons I think I might have died if I lived in an earlier time period (is it weird that I think about this topic a lot?) and I share what I believe to be society's true equalizer. Finally, I unpack some seriously bizarre stories from my childhood that gave me a healthy fear of commitment before I hit double digits.

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Audrey + I relive our (and your!) worst dating moments

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 15:51:06 GMT

This week's Desk Chair Expert, Audrey, comes on the show to offer us some of the cringiest and creepiest dates she's been on, all for the sake of a good laugh. Audrey and I try to guess what other people find annoying about us, and Audrey exposes her "toxic" astrology chart. We share our thoughts on dating in diffferent cities and how dating apps mess with our minds. Then we get into what the worst things to see on a dating app are (besides a photo with a fish) and debate if men have more problematic behaviors than the rest of us (no, we all suck). We take turns rating your submissions and airing out our worst dates, which include an audio message enthusiast and a secretly sappy drug dealer.

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BONUS: covid diaries xoxo

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 02:59:19 GMT

If you're wondering why I missed two weeks of podcasts, I... uhhhhh... was busy having COVID. Here are some audio files from the dark days of my quarantine, including how I found out I had it and why I never miss my parents more than when I'm sick. Plus, why does everything seem to go wrong at the same time? As if COVID wasn't enough, huh? Be warned, this is 20 minutes of me brain dumping about being sick.

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READ IT AND DON'T WEEP (my unsolicited book recs pt. 2)

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 02:50:30 GMT

FANTASY/ADVENTURE/MYSTERY - 1:10

NONFICTION/MEMOIRS - 10:13

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Bratz dolls + murder = feminism?

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 15:37:54 GMT

First up in today's episode is me trying to puzzle through some weird advertisements I've been seeing around the city. Do we really need marketing for public goods? Then I share what I think men missed during the "Me Too" movement and critically analyze serial killers through a feminist lens. Later, I'm taking everyone back to my childhood, where I tried and failed to be trendy in any way. I come up with some unorthodox parenting strategies -- I'll be giving my kids a prehistoric childhood and no one can stop me.

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Jillian talks friendship :')

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 15:31:00 GMT

Wholesome episode alert!! Today's Desk Chair Expert is one of my closest friends, Jillian, and we're talking about our thoughts on what makes a strong friendship. Starting with the story of how we met at a culty/nerdy summer camp, we recount how we ended up friends (we're not actually sure) and how we've stayed friends despite never living in the same place. We discuss some of the highlights and most difficult times in our friendship and how we worked through them. Jillian shares her tips on how to vocalize the support you need, what the value of female friendship is, and when it might be time to take a step back from a friendship that isn't fulfilling you.

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SO YOU WANNA BE A PODCASTER? part 1: ideation + branding

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 01:14:45 GMT

We're getting meta this week and I'm giving all of my best tips, tricks, and mistakes to avoid about starting a podcast. After three months of doing this, I've learned a lot, so I'm taking you all through that journey -- complete with a lot of late nights designing and editing. In part one, I'm focusing on how to even come up with a "good idea" and then how to turn that idea into a fully formed brand that is compelling to new listeners.

TIMESTAMPS:

1:59 - generating ideas + finding your niche

8:13 - hosts, guests, length + other details

12:34 - coming up with a good name

19:12 - designing cover art

24:00 - writing a description

27:52 - intro, outro, theme music

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Coffee with Castro

Thu, 16 Jun 2022 00:38:38 GMT

This episode is honestly just me uncovering my guilt. First I try to recount some Biblical stories (aka my church guilt). Then I discuss what our treatment of bugs says about us as humans (aka my ant guilt). Am I one step away from being a dictator? Maybe. Finally, I tell everyone about my recent coffee-related purchase and how it's made me accidentally BFF's with a CEO (no guilt, just regret).

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Jacob talks Southern hip-hop history

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 20:19:08 GMT

Today's Desk Chair Expert grew up in San Antonio and moved to Houston and I'm absolutely taking advantage of him being my only Texas friend for this episode. I ask Jacob to walk us through the evolution of the Texas music scene, from the Geto Boys to Chopped & Screwed remixes. We also talk about what counts as "the South" and how rap changes across Southern cities. Jacob and I try to answer some of Texas' biggest mysteries, including: what does the phrase "Dirty South" mean? What's better, the San Antonio Spurs or actual spurs? And is Scarface a fan of this podcast?

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Snitches get to go to court

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 03:28:24 GMT

Personality tests are just us projecting our idealized selves into a BuzzFeed quiz, you heard it here first, folks. After hashing that out, I tell everyone why I think "cancel culture" is something we've been doing since our playground days. Then I reveal my favorite current "cancelling," which teaches us that drug-fueled sex parties have a lot in common with Fight Club. Later, I imagine what it would be like if I went to court and consider switching careers to become a famous scammer.

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IF YOU'RE READING THIS, READ THIS (my unsolicited book recs)

Wed, 25 May 2022 04:15:59 GMT

FICTION - 2:24

ROMANCE - 16:18

SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS - 21:54

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The Pte Dvidson generation

Thu, 19 May 2022 01:48:40 GMT

Get ready, 'cause I kind of came for everyone in this episode. First I unpack the mystery of "ugly cute" celebrities and why they're popular with women (here's a hint, it's being a nice person). Then I get frustrated with adults that give BS advice to younger people -- someone tell your Aunt Patty that we already know how to pay rent. Then I ponder an age-old dilemma, Are We Millenials or Gen Z? Later, I talk about some of the best and worst parts of having to interact with so many people because I live in a city and describe a store that I'm convinced is a portal to another dimension.

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Maruf talks PhD life + student advocacy

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:02:06 GMT

Today's Desk Chair Expert, Maruf, is a PhD candidate in Virginia Tech's Translational Biology, Medicine, and Health program (and yes I did copy that from an article about him). On top of his research, Maruf has served in several leadership positions working to make changes that positively impact graduate student well-being. He is also the only person I know who uses "moreover" in casual conversation.

Maruf shares with us his thoughts on the COVID-19 pandemic as a person who actually understands viruses and vaccines, and we reminisce on the weirdness of early pandemic days. He shares how his path changed from never considering graduate school to, you know, getting a PhD. Then he gives some seriously helpful and honest thoughts on how to evaluate if graduate school is a good option for you. We get into our shared history as "student leaders" and talk about fun times working together as well as what schools can do to better support graduate students and how difficult it can be to actually make these changes happen. You can find more of Maruf on Google Scholar, Instagram, and Twitter.

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Fake names, real(ity) television

Wed, 04 May 2022 01:36:56 GMT

Today I pitch my dream reality TV show, which involves locking my extended family in a house together (sorry, guys). Then I shed light on some of the lesser-known problems that overthinkers face and the surprising amount of similarities between strippers and waiters. Finally, I trash talk all of the mispronunications of my name that I hate and confess to the worst time I've messed up somebody else's name.

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Zoe talks curly haircare, anime, + "mixed kids club"

Wed, 27 Apr 2022 13:02:07 GMT

Please give a warm welcome to today's Desk Chair Expert, the person who has to put up with me 24/7, my roommate Zoe. In this episode, Zoe and I expose each others' weird habits and commiserate about our many years of awkwardness. Zoe talks about how she got started on her curly hair journey and we break down advice that has helped our hair. Then we discuss how mixed race people are perceived differently in different spaces and other aspects of having multiple cultural identities. Later, Zoe schools us on why anime is better than "real people TV" and gives show recommendations.

Curly hair resources: r/CurlyHair, r/WavyHair, wavy hair routine example, curly hair routine example, hair porosity, Zoe's preferred brand, Camellia's preferred brand

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Paul from distributions

Thu, 21 Apr 2022 13:52:22 GMT

Welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming. This week I recount maybe my most embarrassing moment ever, which happened in front of the World's Most Attractive Man. Then I explain how I go through all five stages of grief while trying to buy new clothes without breaking the bank or killing the earth and wonder why some jobs look so cool on TV even though they're boring in real life.

To find out more about the ethics of the brands you're buying from, check out Good on You.

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Grant talks comedy writing + theory

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 22:06:15 GMT

Please give a warm welcome to today’s Desk Chair Expert, Grant, who brings his experience writing, performing, and directing comedy. Grant and I break down how to joke about serious subjects, discuss being relatable vs. being specific, and find out how many times we can say “truth” or “honesty” in half an hour (spoiler alert: it’s a lot). Grant gives us actionable suggestions for how to generate ideas and get started with creating comedy that evokes emotions and makes a point. You can find more of Grant's work on the SPAP Sketch Comedy YouTube page.

References mentioned: How to Write Funny, Scott Dikkers; Truth in Comedy, Charna Halpern, Del Close, Kim “Howard” Johnson; George Carlin; Lysistrata, Aristophanes; Joe Pera Talks With You; Fraggle Rock, Jim Henson; Nanette, Hannah Gadsby

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Death and taxes and taxes

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 02:04:35 GMT

Today I sort of kind of proposition the senate, reveal my Obama-related form of insanity, and discuss if I'm doomed to always set off airport security sensors. Also, I dish on why DC residents love to hate on Arlington, the capital of Virginia.

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The universe won't call me back

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 21:31:49 GMT

Today I try and fail to understand manifesting, trash talk stores I think would get big and forget where they came from, and spend a disproportionately long amount of time yelling about tortillas. Oh, and rumor has it I'm still waiting to be let in to see my gynocologist.

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Lisa's Bland (TM)

Sat, 26 Mar 2022 15:24:33 GMT

Welcome to the first episode! Today I talk about moving to a new city, recount my failed attempt to become a kid rapper, and share a tried and true way to psycho-analyze men based on their interior decor.

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Pick up the Phone

Cough drop name drops

Awad talks public transit engineering + impact

The case against fridge water

Meghan talks moving cities + artificial intelligence

Vampire propaganda

Brendan talks acting, agents, + film

Trash can economics

Paolo talks competitive chess + RA secrets

Crybaby camper

Agustin talks grand adventures + small towns

Ye olde commitment issues

Audrey + I relive our (and your!) worst dating moments

BONUS: covid diaries xoxo

READ IT AND DON'T WEEP (my unsolicited book recs pt. 2)

Bratz dolls + murder = feminism?

Jillian talks friendship :')

SO YOU WANNA BE A PODCASTER? part 1: ideation + branding

Coffee with Castro

Jacob talks Southern hip-hop history

Snitches get to go to court

IF YOU'RE READING THIS, READ THIS (my unsolicited book recs)

The P*te D*vidson generation

Maruf talks PhD life + student advocacy

Fake names, real(ity) television

Zoe talks curly haircare, anime, + "mixed kids club"

Paul from distributions

Grant talks comedy writing + theory

Death and taxes and taxes

The universe won't call me back

Lisa's Bland (TM)

The Pte Dvidson generation