Star Trek Minute by Minute

[28] Do cocaine // Use an EMP

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 19:19:00 GMT

Two partners theorise on shirt colours, debate Lily's medical condition, lament Picard's Machiavellianism, and Jesper tries out a new type of intro. On the Enterprise, Lily leaves, Picard plans, Data discusses, Wharfs wields weapons.

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[27] I'm a Doctor Not an Episode Title // Yeah So No

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 17:09:38 GMT

Two single men discuss a corporeal hologram for most of an episode, and air vents and shirt colors for the rest of it, all without ever saying the words "yeah", "no", or "so".

In case you're curious, Jesper says it 9 times more than Albert but we're gonna go over that in the next episode.

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[26] Deck 16 // Is Data a Data Guy?

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Two kinsmen discuss just how much the Borg seem to be dominating, question Data's computer skills and the general way computers seem to function in this universe. That's most of it actually, and we do it in two longer segments. So, you know, if you don't like computers this might be the one to skip. On the other hand if you love computers, this might be the one to replay and replay. See, I was always told to create things hoping that people will love it, instead of worrying that people will hate it. I guess I never realised what they meant until now.

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[25] The Movie Begins // Give Me 30 CCs Of Assimilation Stat

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 20:00:00 GMT

Two co-hosts discuss the Borg, contractions, cruise ships, and YouTube's Dr. Geoff Lindsey.

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[24] Space Log // Jesper Is Sleepy

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Two space friends talk about aliens and walk-and-talks. Jesper is very sleepy.

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[23] Gift Horse // Challenge Wheel

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Two nakamas (It's like close friend in Japanese but it's really impossible to translate it's very powerful) initiate a quick yearly meeting, then discuss Trojan gift horses and shadows (not Shadow Men but closely related), debate Star Trek engineering, and Albert makes a challenge wheel, while their new favourite character climbs into a vent he's sure to make it out of alive.

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[22] Phallic Rockets // Mr. Data and Picard Yaoi

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Two normal men discuss the obvious tension between Mr. Data and Picard, rocket decals, and that's pretty much it, in an episode surprisingly shorter than the minutes with just the credits.

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[21] Engine HOOM // Luke 17:4

Tue, 27 May 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Two play-mates talk about actually enjoying themselves, theorise on Shadow Men and the Grey Earl, lose their spliff virginity, Jesper discusses his nickname, and do some bible reading, and debate on the moroseness of certain people.

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[20] Naming and Shaming // Crusher

Wed, 07 May 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Two mates spend genuine ages ranking 20 minutes while also coming up with fun, creative names for each of them, a bit that I honestly expected to be real disappointing but boy did it deliver. They also discuss feminism, and learn about Wharf's heritage. Honestly, there's barely anything here about the minute. I guess we mention radiation, but we were lucky to have so much stuff to cover with a minute like this. Let's hope the next one has some content.

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[19] ...(a) // Frakes, Picard, Data

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 10:07:32 GMT

Two daredevils talk Dermot, dreams, dot dot Data, discuss the dearth of destruction, and then end on a quick game of RPS to cap off a damn short episode.

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The Day Before First Contact 2025 Watchalong

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 18:50:07 GMT

We celebrate the internationally renowned holiday of April 4, the Day Before First Contact, and watch the first 18 minutes of Star Trek: First Contact together.

This one's gonna reaaaally suck if you're not watching the movie with us, by the way. You can just pirate it. It's fine.

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[18] In Transition // 41-HOOM

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 05:00:00 GMT

One friend and one companion try to recreate some magic as Albert messed up the audio on the original recording. They find a HOOM sign up for auction, theorise on the Shadow Men, criticise an acting choice and the pyro department, learn some Lore/Data-lore, go on some longer tangents as per usual. Oh boy, I've been going through this for so many passes and I swear I cannot remember a single detail and every time I redo it I find a new terrible problem I have to fix. Please, oh God, please, just make it be done.

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[17] Phone a Friend // HAMPSHIRE!

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 10:23:32 GMT

Two lotus-eaters broadcast the pilot of Quiz Me Softly, discuss nuclear warfare, remiss on the West is the Best Fest and the obliteration of New Zealand., plan a national podcast holiday, take a rewind back to Frakes and Brannon "B-Rag" Braga writing Star Trek: First Contact, confidently but incorrectly describe Schrödinger's cat and try some Search Engine Optimisation. Jesper tries really hard to do a Back to the Future bit.

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[16] Davy Jones // Inside Job

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 18:41:24 GMT

Two cronies do a sponsorship for the ICC, come up with acronyms then conspiracy theories, compare themselves to the Star Trek podcast big leagues, and debate the merits of learning to ride a bike during war time.

Reuploaded with better audio on 10/3/25. Geez, who the hell was in charge of editing the original, am I right?

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[15] Monomyth // Drinking? Next to a bar?

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 06:00:00 GMT

Two mates talk about baseball generally and catchers especially, Grabadbullah the Blue Wizard, who's gonna sacrifice themsleves, pull off a poetic outro, recap the monomyth of Albert watching YouTube, Jesper creates some drama. Hey, hasn't Jesper talked about the Aeneid and old operas for ages and ages in previous episodes? Eh, never mind, that can't possibly be an indication of his megalomaniac hypocricy. I guess my thing was much stupider after all.

[Explanatory notes]

Brent Spiner fact from "THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY ACCURATE | PRETTY GOOD, EPISODE 15", by Jon Bois for Secret Base.

Our starting new seasons all the time might be messing up the UI on your podcatching app. I just listen on Spotify so it's not a problem there. But if it is for you, just let me know and I'll turn off the season thing on our side of the fence. And the seasons can just be in our hearts.

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[14] The Worst Bet of All Time // Giant Florida Spider

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 13:05:44 GMT

Two hermanos talk about time travel again and theorize on first contact again again again, debate the fine points of terraforming, give an exclusive insight into the pod's production, run through the story of Tiffany the psycho killer/charming scientist, and look at the USS Enterprise from an intersectional point of view. Albert loses an inhuman amount of money.

[Notes]

It took me about 30 days more than I was planning to edit this episode. Wish I could say I was swamped down in work, but really I was just enjoying the not-working-on-anything. At this pace it would take us one too many decades to get through this movie, so I can basically promise that we won't take this long of a break again. We're hoping to get to a weekly or almost-weekly schedule for the foreseeable future, but that's a hope and not a promise. Also, Jesper still hasn't made a bluesky account, so who's really the slow one? ~ Albert

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[13] Mood of the Year // Shropshire Diaspora

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 06:00:02 GMT

Two gamins do some research on the mood of the year, think about time travel, conspire on the Kennedy assassination, segue from dinosaurs to racist Hollywood conspiracy theories shockingly quickly, pay out a bond, commit to a loan, then try to come up with a fun, fresh and algorithmically friendly title for their newest episode.

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[12] Planet-sized Copper Sulphatorium // Have You Ever Had a Good Chili?

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 06:00:20 GMT

Two hombres talk about David Data, analyze military strategy again, reminisce over Picard's lost love, discover the chemical makeup of the borg cube, review some modern art, bungle a bit about discrimination of indigenous people, when a Trojan War (see what I did there) cuts the episode short.

[Explanatory notes]

Here's the art project we discuss: https://www.artangel.org.uk/project/seizure/.

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[11] To Dogfight a Cube // Engan's Law of Science Fiction

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 11:21:08 GMT

One iconic duo talks about the Kennedy Assassination, the Dodgy Dossier, Epcobbles, space war strategy, Klingon catchphrases, inter-species marriage, Albert accidentally alliterates, and for a very brief moment, they talk about minute 12 of Star Trek: First Contact.

[Explanatory notes]

For the best listening experience, please read up on the build up to the Iraq War before listening to this episode.

Kull et al. *Misperceptions, the the media, and the Iraq War*. Pol. Sci. Quarterly. 2023(118).

Casey [ed.]. *The Blair Legacy: Politics, Policy, Governance, and Foreign Affars*. 2009.

Isikoff and Corn. *Hubris: The Inside Story of Spin, Scandal, and the Selling of the Iraq War*. 2006.

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[10] Famous Squares // To the Battle Station!

Wed, 16 Oct 2024 18:54:21 GMT

Two pals initiate season 2, criticise bad ship design, identify a gap in the literature, list 20 potential alarms, provide the definitive ranking of the ten first minutes (this is the biggest chunk), dunk on a battle scene, try to figure out who the guys on the destroyed ship are with absolutely no information to guide them, and complain about Mister Data. Jesper is really into boats.

Jesper's Star Trek fact is from a video from Semi-Ramblomatic: "The Rise of the Dad Game".

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[9] My Dream Enterprise // The Death of Frakes

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Two shield-brothers play a classic game of My Dream Enterprise, dismay at the absolute state of Earth's defense, take another crack at some Opera theories, declare the ending of season 1 of the podcast, pitch the name "Battleship 2780 of 96.000", and politely remind you, the listener, to talk to your bank about the STMBM credit card.

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[8] Trojan Donut // Shropshire Apple Bombing

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 05:00:34 GMT

Two chums take another shot at Frakes, guess at what the shirt colours mean while Jesper struggles to see which shirt colours there are, reminisce on their Shropshire summer memories, break down the engineering faults of the Trojan horse, and choose one guy, not appearing in this minute, to be their mascot, their favourite and the undisputed best of us: His name is Virgil.

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[7] Selling Out // Could've Been an E-mail

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 21:36:30 GMT

Two brothers of the revolution kill a gimmick, do some research on space dust, break down the four different types of comets, explain why Johnathan Frakes is secretly a cyborg traitor spy, plan out their new podcast credit card, reveal which future episodes are real duds, and talk about what the ancient Roman poem "The Aeneid" means for the plot of Star Trek: First Contact.

Explanatory Notes:

Guy Montgomery is co-host of the podcast Worst Idea of All Time, Till Death Do Us Blart, and obsessively rules-oriented comedy in general.

Albert got his Star Trek clue from the RPG podcast One Shot, episode 71: Inspecters Part 2.

The Pillars of Creation is an especially photogenic nebula.

A credit card is a type of payment card but with free money.

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[6] Shirt Colour Caste System // Lethal Gases

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 14:28:57 GMT

While drifting through the Delta-Niner-Tango section, two space trucker buddies talk about impractical meeting tables, theorize on whether the film will pass the Bechdel test, (assume they) discover the identity of Brent Spiner, explain the powers of the Sun King of Denmark, and make a shocking discovery on the underlying caste system plagueing the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Space Twitter: @startrekminutes

Currently unclear on whether Jesper actually made the space-mail he advertises at the end of the episode, but I guess you could give it a try: startrekminutes@gmail.com

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[5] Swanky Sink // Tablecloth

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 13:09:29 GMT

Two former allies pat themselves on their backs, learn Patrick Stewart's name, watch furniture, and sneak the word "receptacle" into casual conversation.

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[4] Surprisingly Listenable // It's a Polish Arthouse Movie

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Dos muchachos debate on if a donut is an eye, present an official apology, imagine Patrick Stewart as a baby and wonder how much longer this dream stuff is going to last for, and suggest gimmicks to save the show.

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[3] Crisis Mode // CRISIS MODE

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 16:54:21 GMT

Two boon companies try to figure out what's going on with Patrick Stewart and flaunt their powers over the NorthWest Territories of Canada, while Jesper wins arguments and Albert makes a cataclysmic discovery.

[NOTE]

Here at Star Trek Minute by Minute, we care about your customer experience and we care about our audio quality. Unfortunately, not all of our co-hosts agree. Jesper accidentally recorded this episode with his laptop microphone instead of his microphone microphone. Extensive recovery and remastering efforts have made his audio only slightly better. Please direct your complaints at our newly created Twitter account: @startrekminutes.

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[2] The MF Doom of Casting Directors // Podcast Eschatology

Wed, 03 Jul 2024 05:00:42 GMT

Two compadres take a deep dive into casting director Junie Lowry-Johnson, hold an impromptu quiz, create an impromptu central bank, and plan their Oasis-like public feud.

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[1] Paramount Conspiracy // All Eyes On Brent

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 05:00:09 GMT

Two old friends start a podcast, discuss the Paramount logo, dissect their previous attempt at a podcast, and try to figure out who Brent Spiner is.

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