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Well, Cassie's got a brand new list of songs you need to get on your Christmas playlist, ASAP.

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A new survey asked people what New Year's resolutions they're planning to make for next year. And here are the top 10 answers . . .

1. Exercise more, 59%.

2. Eat healthier, 54%.

3. Save money, 51%.

4. Lose weight, 48%.

5. Reduce stress, 38%.

6. Stick to a budget, 35%.

7. Get more sleep, 31%.

8. Spend more time with family, 30%.

9. Learn a new skill, 27%.

10. Travel more, 24%.

Kristin kicked this off with the resolutions that WE need to do in 2019, and now it's Moe's turn!

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But how about when you're kinda RELATED to your boyfriend...and you're about to spring it on the family over Christmas?

Yup. It's going down.

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In the HISTORY of Santa Scared Straight, this has NEVER happened before. What Santa does because this kid, Alaya, is so bad made us LOSE it. CAN NOT believe he just did that!

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Why? Because why NOT.

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Lori is hosting family Christmas at her house for the first time, but BEFORE anyone has even arrived: there's already drama. 

Lori's sister has two big dogs that are like family. And we're not talking like "awww, yeah, I love my dogs - they're my furbabies" level of love. We're talking they come EVERYWHERE with her and she 100% thinks they are on par with human family members. 

Having the dogs at the house for Christmas wouldn't be a big deal, except...Lori's 4-year-old niece is afraid of dogs. And just "afraid"...we're talking PHOBIA levels of scared.

We've got to try to navigate this and get Lori's sister to leave her dogs (which she legit compares to Lori's child) at a hotel for Christmas.

This might just tear the family apart...

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Lori is hosting family Christmas at her house for the first time, but BEFORE anyone has even arrived: there's already drama. 

Lori's sister has two big dogs that are like family. And we're not talking like "awww, yeah, I love my dogs - they're my furbabies" level of love. We're talking they come EVERYWHERE with her and she 100% thinks they are on par with human family members. 

Having the dogs at the house for Christmas wouldn't be a big deal, except...Lori's 4-year-old niece is afraid of dogs. And just "afraid"...we're talking PHOBIA levels of scared.

We've got to try to navigate this and get Lori's sister to leave her dogs (which she legit compares to Lori's child) at a hotel for Christmas.

This might just tear the family apart...

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But now, we have to have another Bert Show Family meeting, because there's some major tension between Moe and Walter - STILL - from when Walter accidentally took over and sabotaged Moe's comedy show. And now, it might be the end of something great between them.

The final comments...and the final nail in the coffin.

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But here's the thing...he's not invited to the wedding.

So what do you do when your best friend can't invite you to the wedding...because her future husband thinks you hooked up (even though you never did!)?

This is a HUGE red flag to @ImMoeMitch friend. This kind of jealousy is SO toxic.

— Bert Weiss (@BertShowBert) December 21, 2018

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Meeting someone's family is nerve wracking enough, so we suggested that he bring her brother a gift. So, what does Bert get him to give him? Can you even give someone out on furlough a bottle of alcohol? What about the whole "he has to go back to prison and can't take anything back with him" thing?  We've got the conditions of furlough + a new round of Prison Price Is Right!

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It all has to do with dog poop and dropping it in BERT'S trashcan.

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Davi's got a list of all the weird things around the country that's dropping so you can switch things up this year!

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You call us, obviously.

But you have to know this going in: when we find out that guy you're into is actually MOE, we're going to make SURE this date is going down.

We get the update on how the date went, and we feel like maybe there's some really good chemistry...

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We asked you to call us and tell us your Christmas Party horror stories...and OMG A HUMAN TURD? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

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But could you ACTUALLY turn down a proposal on Christmas Day? Even if you didn't want to marry them...if they asked, would you say "yes" and pretend for a day, or would you be 100% honest, right then and there, and turn them down?

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Holiday parties fueled by friends, food, and booze - it's the perfect opportunity to try to push the constant grief down for a couple of hours and be able to breathe before it wells up and crushes you again. 

Except Davi can't escape, because people at these parties won't LET her.  They corner her and force her to talk about her dad - even physically holding her in place AFTER she said she didn't want to talk about it - and she just wants to be left alone about it for 5 minutes while she's trying to be normal at the holidays.

But no one will let her.

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We talk to Caitlyn, who cut a toxic friend out of her life and has been better for it. She's newly engaged, and even though she hasn't talked to that friend in months, her friend just texted her and asked "have you picked out the bridesmaids dresses WE are wearing."

Caitlyn does NOT want her in this wedding, but her friend is super petty...how does she break the news?

And then there's Jamie, whose 65-year-old dad told her that he was gonna propose to his girlfriend of five years last night on her birthday, but he wasn't sure that she'd say yes. It's the happiest Jamie has seen her dad since her mom died five years ago, but she's not sure the girlfriend's kids are that thrilled - they didn't take their parents divorce well, and don't exactly love Jamie's dad and her family.

Well, Jamie hasn't heard back from her dad...and she's getting worried.

THE UPDATES

We catch back up with Jamie to find out about her dad and what happened (did he propose? Did she say no? Did they elope?

And then we get Caitlyn on to find out if the text we sent - the one that shut her friend down - ever got a response.

But what happened is way, way worse.

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When she was a kid, she used to carefully open her best friend's presents while her BFF stood in the other room, and then would shout out what she got so her BFF could KNOW without actually ever being the one to commit the Christmas crime.

And now Kristin wants to relive her Christmas days by convincing a kid to open a Christmas gift early and take a peek at what they got!

For the record, Bert wants NOTHING to do with this, BTW. NOTHING. NADA. ZERO.

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When she was a kid, she used to carefully open her best friend's presents while her BFF stood in the other room, and then would shout out what she got so her BFF could KNOW without actually ever being the one to commit the Christmas crime.

And now Kristin wants to relive her Christmas days by convincing a kid to open a Christmas gift early and take a peek at what they got!

For the record, Bert wants NOTHING to do with this, BTW. NOTHING. NADA. ZERO.

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Yep, Bert got a gift for an old friend that he hasn't seen for a few years, and apparently it was SO bad (and potentially dangerous), that the guy's WIFE intercepted it and texted Bert about it!

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Think you're the embodiment of Christmas? See if you can sing the rest of the lyrics to the songs Walter picked. Bet you CAN'T.

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What's the worst gift you EVER got for Christmas?

From a used to candle to Tupperware with lids that don't fit to a 2015 planner (given in 2017) to hotel soap...we're not sure any of this can beat what Cassie's friend got.

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You call us, obviously. 

But you have to know this going in: when we find out that guy you're into is actually MOE, we're going to make SURE this date is going down.

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Meeting someone's family is nerve wracking enough, so we suggested that he bring her brother a gift. So, what does Bert get him to give him? Can you even give someone out on furlough a bottle of alcohol? What about the whole "he has to go back to prison and can't take anything back with him" thing?  We've got the conditions of furlough + a new round of Prison Price Is Right!

Think you know how much stuff in the commissary costs?  See if you can beat us...

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We talk to Caitlyn, who cut a toxic friend out of her life and has been better for it. She's newly engaged, and even though she hasn't talked to that friend in months, her friend just texted her and asked "have you picked out the bridesmaids dresses WE are wearing."

Caitlyn does NOT want her in this wedding, but her friend is super petty...how does she break the news?

And then there's Jamie, whose 65-year-old dad told her that he was gonna propose to his girlfriend of five years last night on her birthday, but he wasn't sure that she'd say yes. It's the happiest Jamie has seen her dad since her mom died five years ago, but she's not sure the girlfriend's kids are that thrilled - they didn't take their parents divorce well, and don't exactly love Jamie's dad and her family.

Well, Jamie hasn't heard back from her dad...and she's getting worried.

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We talk to Caitlyn, who cut a toxic friend out of her life and has been better for it. She's newly engaged, and even though she hasn't talked to that friend in months, her friend just texted her and asked "have you picked out the bridesmaids dresses WE are wearing."

Caitlyn does NOT want her in this wedding, but her friend is super petty...how does she break the news?

And then there's Jamie, whose 65-year-old dad told her that he was gonna propose to his girlfriend of five years last night on her birthday, but he wasn't sure that she'd say yes. It's the happiest Jamie has seen her dad since her mom died five years ago, but she's not sure the girlfriend's kids are that thrilled - they didn't take their parents divorce well, and don't exactly love Jamie's dad and her family.

Well, Jamie hasn't heard back from her dad...and she's getting worried.

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When you've got twins, you've got twice the energy, twice the smiles, twice the hugs...and twice the trouble once they start acting out.

And Santa's got his hands full with Evan and Carter. They're SO excited they're basically bouncing off the walls and he has to call in reinforcements...and then things take a turn!

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It happens to the best of us - fear hit Bert early in his career and slowed things down, it's hitting Moe NOW with his comedy, Kristin's fear kept her complacent in relationships she should have left (although it doesn't apply right now), and Davi's been living outside her comfort zone for a while now.

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You don't go against the family.

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Ps. They don't have any kids. They're not even pregnant. 

But it was a very real fight.

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Davi, Kristin and Moe share the big surprises they had go down in the past...and then we hear yours!

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A new survey asked people what New Year's resolutions they're planning to make for next year. And here are the top 10 answers . . .

1. Exercise more, 59%.

2. Eat healthier, 54%.

3. Save money, 51%.

4. Lose weight, 48%.

5. Reduce stress, 38%.

6. Stick to a budget, 35%.

7. Get more sleep, 31%.

8. Spend more time with family, 30%.

9. Learn a new skill, 27%.

10. Travel more, 24%.

Well, Kristin has the resolutions that WE need to do in 2019.

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And that's why we do it: tell me something good.

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Anna's kids are disrespectful, not cleaning up after themselves, and even worse - not listening to her when she asks them to clean up the house since family is coming in for Christmas.

She's thinking of cancelling Christmas, but she's on the fence about it. So we get parents who DID make that call on to find out why they cancelled Christmas.

#ChristmasIsCancelled

She was threatening to CANCEL Christmas if her kids didn't keep their rooms clean. We're about to find out if they failed...think she followed through with her threat?

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So, we've got three elves - Trixie from last year - and two new friends, Jelly Bean & Lil' Juicy - in studio to answer ANY question you have, Christmas-related or not.

From questions about what elves do on Christmas Day to how to stay off the Naughty List (pro tip: don't murder anyone) to how to survive Christmas with the in-laws, here's the inside scoop:

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Get some brownie points by publicly appreciating your man – call us and tell us what they're doing that you’re proud of!

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This was obviously a setup, because first, people rolled out white and red flower arrangements that said, "Take me back Cardi."  Then Offset came out with a bouquet of white roses and things got awkward.

He tried to talk to her, but she obviously wasn't having it.

After a couple seconds, the lights dimmed, and Offset moped off the stage.

But just so you know, Cardi is not down with people trashing Offset online, because he's still the father of her child.  In an Instagram video she said, quote, "I know how painful it is when you have millions of people bashing you every single day.

"I don't like that.  And it doesn't make me feel any better.  Period.

(Profanity Warning:  You can see both videos here.  They both contain profanity.)

Who gave - or got - a grandiose gesture that TOTALLY failed?

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She's been dating this guy for six months, and she hasn't met his family yet, but is supposed to this weekend. They were looking through his family photos so that he could show her who everyone is. Well, his sister was in one of the photos, along with her husband.

The husband who happens to be...the same guy she dated two years ago.

The same guy who was married two years ago...but she didn't know it.

YEP. She dated the very married husband of her new boyfriend's sister.

Does she say anything? Does she go and stay quiet? Does she cancel everything?

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And it all went down at Bert's Christmas Party on Friday night.

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Blair sister, Lauren, is dying and she needs a kidney. Doctors have told her it's a less than 10% chance she'll get a match...even though her condition is 100% treatable once she has it. But that's where YOU come in.

Read her story below - can we help find Lauren a kidney? Can you help save her life? Is there any greater gift than that?

Dearest Bert Show,

My name is Blair Fulford and I have been listening to your show for the last 16 years, since I was a sophomore in high school (I’m now 32). I’ve listened to you every morning (in the shower, the car, the app, wherever and whenever I can!), and I can’t tell you how much love and respect I hold for you. Throughout the years I’ve heard, from both your cast and the listeners, many stories of entertaining drama (Texting Tutor is THE BEST segment by the way! Dots...dots-dots-dots!), stories of destiny, stories of heartache and pain, stories of inspiration, and also compelling stories of people reaching out for your help, and therein lies my reason for writing this letter to you…my family and I are desperate:

My older sister, Lauren, is dying. She is in desperate need of a kidney transplant. Doctors have run out of places on her body to do dialysis given her weak condition after almost 9 years looking for a match. The sad thing to me is her condition is 100% treatable if we can find just one stranger willing to love another stranger enough to save her life by donating life. Doctors have given her less than a 10% chance of finding a match, but to me, that's 30 million people in the US who could help. We just need one. Lauren is currently in the hospital at Piedmont and running out of time. My other sister has launched billboard and Facebook campaigns and even reached out to the local media. But the media told her that she's not a kid and not a mom so she's unfortunately not a sympathetic story. I disagree. Lauren is a daughter, a sister, a best friend, mother to her rescue dog and cats. She is one of the most loving, generous, supportive, funny people I know. She loves her family and friends, who she would do absolutely anything for, and she is also THE biggest Atlanta Falcons fan. 

Bert, Kristin, Davi, Cassie, Moe, Tommy, Tracey, everybody…this is where my family and I could use your help. I wanted to see if there is any way you could share Lauren’s story and help spread the word about her search for a kidney. Time is running out quickly. Although it may be difficult finding her a match, the more people willing to selflessly come forward and be willing to get tested, the higher her chances are of finding a matching kidney for a transplant, which would save her. If you want to learn more, her website is www.LaurenNeedsAKidney.com. People value your opinions and we could use an advocate / angel right about now.

As with any disease that people face, Lauren never asked for this. Her strength and courage everyday amaze me; she has gone through hell most of her life fighting this disease, and she has fought for far too long. With everything she has been through, at least 20+ painful surgeries, and at least 30-40 hospital stays, she still, somehow, has always remained steadfast and hopeful. Her faith, family and friends have provided her support and a reason to keep fighting, but this past year she has had some dangerous complications due her long-term dependence on dialysis, and now her body simply cannot handle it much longer; she is losing this fight and it’s killing her...literally.

PLEASE HELP US! Bert Show, my family and I want Lauren on this Earth for a long time, and we don’t want to give up this fight for her to find a matching kidney. She is my very loving, very generous, very funny, amazing big sister, and she deserves life. I would love to share more with you, even my story of donating a kidney to Lauren in 2004. It is an amazing thing to give life! Please feel free to reach...

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Look, we're gonna be honest: we're not sure that this Texting Tutor is the BEST idea ever...this could end really, really badly.

Sydney went on ONE 90 minute date with a guy (and it was a great date), and now she's wondering if she can use him to help her out with an awkward party she has to go to. It's her family's Christmas Eve party - there are 30 or 40 family members who attend, and they ALWAYS rag on her for being single and not married. So, she wants to bring him so they'll lay off her.

But let's recap: they've been on ONE date and now she wants to bring him to her FAMILY Christmas party to meet them and so her fam will think she's in a relationship.

When we left Sydney, the guy she was texting said he wanted to go on another date with her before he committed to the whole family thing. They went out this past weekend...and what she did after he texted her has us pulling our hair out!

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Every time another celebrity gets arrested (we have to know their name without any research), we pick more names until someone correctly guesses a celebrity arrest!

Moe won the last round with Tekashi 69, so we're kicking off a new game!

And since Bert's out sick today, Cassie's picking for him...for all THREE rounds that we have to do!

Round 1: Josh Henderson arrested for burglary. 

Round 2: Lil' Pump arrested for disorderly conduct.

Round 3: Stoney Westmoreland arrested for things we're not gonna talk about.

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Just fill out the form below and send the "North Pole" what your kid has done to be on Santa’s “naughty” list, and the phone numbers you can be reached at from 4PM – 8PM, and your kid might just get a call from Santa telling them to behave.

Bear has been on the Naughty List BIG time. He's held a kid down at school, threatened another one with scissors, threatened to tie another one up and hide them in the chimney, and stared down a teacher when they told him not to do something...and kept on doing it!

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It's so easy to make fun of pageants, but when you listen to these questions...they're actually kinda HARD, because some of them are political minefields. 

Could you answer these questions? Let's just say, don't think we'd be crowned.

We're about to try out the questions from Miss Universe...and Moe pretty much crushes his.

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When he has a celebrity on, he gives them THREE questions, and they’re only allowed to skip ONE – a.k.a. "Pleading the Fifth."

And today we have a REALLY special guest. Seriously, this like NEVER happens. He asks the questions, but today...we wrangled Producer Tommy into the Plead The Fifth hot seat!

Tommy spills on who needs an intervention, the members of the Bert Show that he'd ice out, and that time he almost got arrested...

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And what they did next had us like...WHAT?! WHY?!

Well, Moe's got a NEW update.

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Bert just doesn't get it...at all. And And not sure he ever will. He believes that being gay isn't a choice...and besides, isn't love unconditional?  

If you're one of those parents...we want to hear from you on WHY.

We took this call from one mom - the wife of a pastor - who disowned her daughter for being gay. She breaks down what she believes, and why she thinks it was worth severing her relationship with her daughter over.

Now, you need to know that none of us agreed with a word coming out of her mouth. BUT we asked the question and promised we wouldn't attack, so we owed it to just listen...not debate. Even if it's infuriating.

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She's been dating this guy for six months, and she hasn't met his family yet, but is supposed to this weekend. They were looking through his family photos so that he could show her who everyone is. Well, his sister was in one of the photos, along with her husband.  

The husband who happens to be...the same guy she dated two years ago.

The same guy who was married two years ago...but she didn't know it.

YEP. She dated the very married husband of her new boyfriend's sister.

Does she say anything? Does she go and stay quiet? Does she cancel everything?

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A guy named Jackson Racicot quit his job at Walmart in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada last week by getting on the store intercom and RANTING against his bosses and the company. And he took a video of the whole thing.

Now, if you watch the video, his rant feels kind of serious, at least at the beginning.

But by the end it devolves into a stream of F-bombs and as he storms out, you can hear people cheering in the background.

Well, it happened AGAIN: a security guard got called out for relaxing on his break...and popped off over the loud speaker.

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Just fill out the form below and send the "North Pole" what your kid has done to be on Santa’s “naughty” list, and the phone numbers you can be reached at from 4PM – 8PM, and your kid might just get a call from Santa telling them to behave.

Kiddo Maddox been suspended from school THREE times already...and he just turned 7! And you're not gonna believe what he said to a little girl...he told her she had a big a**!!! DEFINITELY Naught List material - Santa's gotta call little Maddox and set him right.

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And Bert's gonna meet him for the first time, so Moe's got some advice for him on how to handle overprotective brothers.

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Look, we're gonna be honest: we're not sure that this Texting Tutor is the BEST idea ever...this could end really, really badly. 

Sydney went on ONE 90 minute date with a guy (and it was a great date), and now she's wondering if she can use him to help her out with an awkward party she has to go to. It's her family's Christmas Eve party - there are 30 or 40 family members who attend, and they ALWAYS rag on her for being single and not married. So, she wants to bring him so they'll lay off her.

But let's recap: they've been on ONE date and now she wants to bring him to her FAMILY Christmas party to meet them and so her fam will think she's in a relationship.

Here goes nothing...

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Look, we're gonna be honest: we're not sure that this Texting Tutor is the BEST idea ever...this could end really, really badly. 

Sydney went on ONE 90 minute date with a guy (and it was a great date), and now she's wondering if she can use him to help her out with an awkward party she has to go to. It's her family's Christmas Eve party - there are 30 or 40 family members who attend, and they ALWAYS rag on her for being single and not married. So, she wants to bring him so they'll lay off her.

But let's recap: they've been on ONE date and now she wants to bring him to her FAMILY Christmas party to meet them and so her fam will think she's in a relationship.

Here goes nothing...

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So, Bert Show listeners - call in and tell us how your parents sound when they nag you to get off video games and start doing chores!

Well, since we let kids mock what their parents sound like when they get chewed out, it's only fair we flip the tables: parents, mock your kids' voices when you tell them what to do!

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The Update

Blake is totally SABOTAGING Moe - he brought him a big ol' Santa cookie from Starbucks this morning! But then we turn the tables on Blake and ask him what he's been doing...and let's just say, Intern Ashton has some video evidence that she thinks we need to see...

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This all started when we were listening to "Sweetener"  and that's when we realized: we LOVE her voice, but we literally have no clue what she's saying.

But seriously...if you don't know the words, can you figure them out? We try...and we fail big time.

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According to a new survey, 92% of Americans now say it's totally acceptable to regift presents.

87% of us have gotten a gift we THINK was regifted.  62% of us plan on regifting something to someone this year.

There's a good reason for that.  The average person who regifts says they'll save about $150 on presents, just by passing along the things they got that they don't want.

And women are three times more likely to regift something than men, but in studio, the person who's making a regifting confession is a MAN.

And he's CONFESSING it to us!

Regifting: if you know the person is gonna love it, is regifting ever ok?

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Davi's dad passed away last week and Kristin's dad passed away a couple of months ago, and it's not easy, to say the least.

So here are 12 tips Kristin found for dealing with grief during the holidays. 

http://nancyspoint.com/twelve-tips-for-getting-through-the-holidays-after-loss/

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What's your totally unorthodox Christmas tradition?

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But sometimes, it's not always a great time...like when you've got the bubble guts and someone is trying to talk to you through the bathroom stall door.

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And now he doesn't know if he should SAY anything and leave a note...or just wash it really, really well and put it back without saying anything. What should he do?

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And then, will you help this kid make Christmas better for families in the hospital? 

Jerry, age 13 from Hoschton, saves his money all year and gives up Christmas gifts so he can surprise families at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta (CHOA) and buy their holiday meal on Christmas Eve each year.  He's been doing it for FIVE years, and this year, he wants to buy even more meals: he wants to feed families AND staff ALL day. He's raised a lot, but he's only halfway to your goal: so please, he needs your help to do it.

Will you donate? Any amount helps!

Help him out: kidsboost.org/kids-project/jerry-h/

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Anna's kids are disrespectful, not cleaning up after themselves, and even worse - not listening to her when she asks them to clean up the house since family is coming in for Christmas.

She's thinking of cancelling Christmas, but she's on the fence about it. So we get parents who DID make that call on to find out why they cancelled Christmas.

#ChristmasIsCancelled

AND THEN THE GENIUS IDEAS KEEP COMING IN!

We catch back up with Anna to see if she actually cancelled Christmas...or if she gave into them.

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So, Bert Show listeners - call in and tell us how your parents sound when they nag you to get off video games and start doing chores!

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It's happening to our Davi in every situation she finds herself in. People have opinions, and they need to just STOP having them, because it's straight up none of their business.

How are you gonna pretend you can dictate how someone deals with grief?

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But maybe there's another way to look at it.  What if it's actually a feminist anthem?  Brian Demay, the PD at WRRM Cincinnati, thinks that's possible.

He tells "Billboard", "I don't think she is being forced to do anything.  She decides to stay for another drink.  She decides to stay for 'half a cigarette more.'

"The reality of America [when the song was written in 1944] was that a guy would not have been looked down upon for having a woman spend the night;  the woman, however, would have been judged harshly...

"The woman is balancing her desire to have a consensual evening with a good-looking dude with the effect it would have on her reputation, but ultimately, it is her choice.  Pretty revolutionary lyrics for the 1940s!"

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Bert just doesn't get it...at all. And And not sure he ever will. He believes that being gay isn't a choice...and besides, isn't love unconditional?  

If you're one of those parents...we want to hear from you on WHY.

We didn't play this call on-air, but we took this call from one mom - the wife of a pastor - who disowned her daughter for being gay. She breaks down what she believes, and why she thinks it was worth severing her relationship with her daughter over.

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A guy named Jackson Racicot quit his job at Walmart in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada last week by getting on the store intercom and RANTING against his bosses and the company. And he took a video of the whole thing.

Now, if you watch the video, his rant feels kind of serious, at least at the beginning.

But by the end it devolves into a stream of F-bombs and as he storms out, you can hear people cheering in the background.

Who else went out in a BLAZE of glory?

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She's not really sure how to feel...because it doesn't seem like it's a joke, it kinda feels like it's no one's business but hers...and also it feels like her friend is maaaaaaybe low key insulting her by calling her old.

Was her friend being passive aggressive...or just clueless?

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Anna's kids are disrespectful, not cleaning up after themselves, and even worse - not listening to her when she asks them to clean up the house since family is coming in for Christmas.

She's thinking of cancelling Christmas, but she's on the fence about it. So we get parents who DID make that call on to find out why they cancelled Christmas.

#ChristmasIsCancelled

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And it's not just Bert - she's the same way with all her children...and even some of THEIR kids.

But now she's calling again...and he doesn't know if he should answer.

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Anna's kids are disrespectful, not cleaning up after themselves, and even worse - not listening to her when she asks them to clean up the house since family is coming in for Christmas.

She's thinking of cancelling Christmas, but she's on the fence about it. So we get parents who DID make that call on to find out why they cancelled Christmas.

#ChristmasIsCancelled

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Well, The Bert Show wants to give you your "Big Break!"

Just enter below and let us know why you need The Bert Show's help getting your BIG BREAK! Then stay tuned because you could be featured on The Bert Show!

Enter online at thebertshow.com/bigbreak

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Brad Pitt? Julia Roberts? Matt Damon? Yeah, they have no clue who they are. But wait until you hear the celebs they CAN name. Bet you'll know close to ZERO of them.

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We get an update...but we're not sure how burgers and pizza and booze are gonna get you abs. But maybe that's just us.

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Just fill out the form below and send the "North Pole" what your kid has done to be on Santa’s “naughty” list, and the phone numbers you can be reached at from 4PM – 8PM, and your kid might just get a call from Santa telling them to behave.

Santa calls 7-year-old Ariana, who's saying really mean things to her friend and parents, dropping bad words, and won't cut her toenails...and she is NOT happy that she's on the Naughty List!

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And then Blake make it REALLY weird at a restaurant...

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The first time he did this, he watched "Dirty Dancing," "Top Gun" and "Beverly Hills Cop."

Then, we charged him with watching "The Goonies," "Steel Magnolias," and "Coming To America." And the stakes are REALLY, REALLY HIGH.

And now - it's time for some 00s CLASSICS - the very ones seen in Ariana Grande's new video for "Thank U, Next."

Intern Solomon has to watch "13 Going On Thirty," "Mean Girls," "Legally Blonde," and "Bring It On."

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THEY HAVE BEEN LYING TO YOU.

And Davi has proof.

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Bert just doesn't get it...at all. And And not sure he ever will. He believes that being gay isn't a choice...and besides, isn't love unconditional?  

If you're one of those parents...we want to hear from you on WHY.

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So, he's hitting us with another couple of riddles...can you figure it out?

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According to a new report from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, last year, more than 15,000 people went to the emergency room due to Christmas decorating injuries.

One out of three were from FALLS, 11% were from cuts, and 10% were from people throwing out their backs.

Christmas injury totals have been going up every year since 2009, when about 12,000 people were hospitalized.

The CPSC also says there are an average of 200 Christmas tree fires a year. Over the past three years, those fires have resulted in TEN DEATHS.

How'd Christmas beat you up?

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And that's why we do it: tell me something good.

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And when he got there, he realized that his friend had basically set him up for FAILURE and it was one of the most uncomfortable situations he had EVER been in.

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Go ahead, we'll listen...because we have some of our own.

Die on that Holiday Petty Hill!

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Cassie got so  hardened by hateful people on social media (it's her job to read those hateful comments made about her, her friends, and then the rest of the world), and she was also surrounded by toxic people and she realized it was making her bitter.

Everything she said had an edge, she expected the worst, and it spilled over into other parts of her life. High expectations, overly annoyed by stupid people, not giving people the benefit of the doubt - this whole time she thought everyone else was the problem and it was her job to fix it.

After a 10-day vacation where she disconnected from social media, she became totally different...like her old self. And that's when she realized, all those hateful people online…they still suck, but SHE'S part of the problem by contributing to it. 

And it's time for a revolution.

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Here's the thing: he's SO good at the game, we’ve actually kicked him out of it. He hosts, we play…and we yell SUCK IT TOMMY!

And because Christmas is right around the corner...it's time for a special Christmas edition of Suck It Tommy Trivia! But you know us, we're hyper competitive...and it's getting cutthroat!

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But here's the thing - he doesn't like the old dress she chose that she bought earlier this year. She can't afford to buy a new one...should he pony up the cash for a new one?

And even if he agreed...how much should he drop?

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But what about when your ex doesn't treat you the same way, and tries to SABOTAGE your Christmas with the kids? 

Bert Show listener Emily wants to take the kids to Disney for the first time over Christmas...and she even invited her ex-husband. She thought it would be great for their kids to have both parents there on their first trip to Disney (mom and dad would stay in different rooms and the kids could hang out with both of them), but he shot her down. 

She was disappointed, but no big deal - he's a grown man and has his reasons. But now, after seeing a link about things to do at Disney on the Facebook page of one of the women he's dating...she thinks HE'S taking them to Disney this weekend and is totally stealing her Christmas idea!

Whelp, she called him on it...AND IT BACKFIRED.

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Just fill out the form below and send the "North Pole" what your kid has done to be on Santa’s “naughty” list, and the phone numbers you can be reached at from 4PM – 8PM, and your kid might just get a call from Santa telling them to behave.

Santa calls 6-year-old Cameron, who was starting fights with his 12-year-old brother, playing too many video games (and swearing while he plays), "checking oil" on people, and talking about certain body parts a little TOO much.

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He says there's a big work project that has had a few issues, and the whole team has had to stay late. BUT THEN: Katie saw THIS. One of his coworkers that he SHOULD be working with because she's part of his team was posting pictures of herself last night on Instagram at home with her kids.

To add to the pot: he's been mentioning a new female coworker more and more. In and of itself, that's not weird, but here's the thing: he doesn't like his coworkers and never talks about work.

So she drove by the office in the morning to see if he was there...and he WASN'T. When he pulled in - wearing the same pants as yesterday, but a different shirt, she confronted him, and he called her crazy.

Well, we laid a "War of the Roses" trap. Posing as a new flower shop in town, we sent her husband an email offering him a free bouquet of flowers. Who he sent them to will tell us everything...was it Katie, or was it someone ELSE?

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So, we decided to put a bunch of the song titles into a bucket and let the millennials in studio - aka our interns - pull out a song title (Davi and Cassie got immunity because they did them in the past!). So, the interns are gonna have to write lyrics to the rest of the carol, based on the song!

We asked you guys to vote...and the loser was gonna get a surprise PUNISHMENT. But we are SHOCKED at who actually lost!

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But now, we have to have another Bert Show Family meeting, because there's some major tension between Moe and Walter - STILL - from when Walter accidentally took over and sabotaged Moe's comedy show. And now, it might be the end of something great between them.

They aired out some problems on-air, but today we realize: it's far from over. And Bert GETS it now after listening to their latest podcast.

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What say you?

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But now, we have to have another Bert Show Family meeting, because there's some major tension between Moe and Walter - STILL - from when Walter accidentally took over and sabotaged Moe's comedy show. And now, it might be the end of something great between them.

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But what about when your ex doesn't treat you the same way, and tries to SABOTAGE your Christmas with the kids? 

Bert Show listener Emily wants to take the kids to Disney for the first time over Christmas...and she even invited her ex-husband. She thought it would be great for their kids to have both parents there on their first trip to Disney (mom and dad would stay in different rooms and the kids could hang out with both of them), but he shot her down. 

She was disappointed, but no big deal - he's a grown man and has his reasons. But now, after seeing a link about things to do at Disney on the Facebook page of one of the women he's dating...she thinks HE'S taking them to Disney this weekend and is totally stealing her Christmas idea!

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What's your totally unorthodox Christmas tradition?

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ESPECIALLY if you work in retail and then you get THOSE customers. They stay past closing. They make a mess. They ask dumb questions. They're rude. We get it! But don't lose your job by taking it out on them>/i> - take it out on our Retail Vent Line! 

Go ahead, and vent to us: it's anonymous and we'll bleep out any profanity! 1-844-TBS-VENT

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Well, JJ Daniel Middle School had a challenge for Moe and Blake: write an anti-bullying rap! Here's what they came up with - and it's awesome!

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Bert Show Listener Lisa had a coworker who had just gotten engaged, and the entire office got in on helping her plan the wedding. She and Lisa had lunch like twice a week, used to carpool and hang out, and were friends, but then the Bride left the company.

Well, everyone got their wedding invitations in the mail...EXCEPT Lisa. It's about to get really awkward in here, because we're gonna text the Bride and ask if Lisa's invitation got lost in the mail...or if she wasn't invited!

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So sometimes, you just need a little help scoring that date - and that's where we come in! We'll tell you what to text the person you're into, line by line, and we'll help you get that date...but you have to PROMISE to write EXACTLY what we tell you to.

Bert Show Listener Lisa had a coworker who had just gotten engaged, and the entire office got in on helping her plan the wedding. She and Lisa had lunch like twice a week, used to carpool and hang out, and were friends, but then the Bride left the company.

Well, everyone got their wedding invitations in the mail...EXCEPT Lisa. It's about to get really awkward in here, because we're gonna text the Bride and ask if Lisa's invitation got lost in the mail...or if she wasn't invited!

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So, we decided to put a bunch of the song titles into a bucket and let the millennials in studio - aka our interns - pull out a song title (Davi and Cassie got immunity because they did them in the past!). So, the interns are gonna have to write lyrics to the rest of the carol, based on the song!

Check out past examples, here, and this year's songs below...

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So, we decided to put a bunch of the song titles into a bucket and let the millennials in studio - aka our interns - pull out a song title (Davi and Cassie got immunity because they did them in the past!). So, the interns are gonna have to write lyrics to the rest of the carol, based on the song!

Check out past examples, here, and this year's songs below...

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And Kristin needs to make one today...to a Bert show listener.

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And when it comes to premies, there are approximately 1,000 neonatal admissions annually - that's 83 new babies a month that aren't going home - they're coming to Children's!

A Transport Isolette is what every baby who enters the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) is placed in. It's a movable, specialized incubator bed that provides necessary gases to patients and monitors temperature, humidity and weight. It costs $100,000 - $150,000 per unit.

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✨

For the therapy dogs every year, it costs $13,000 for food, $57,000 for vet visits & $23,000 for special germ-fighting baths to keep them extra clean (they work in a hospital, after all!)

✨

You can help support this critical program by becoming a Miracle Maker by texting ‘Miracle’ to 64636 ($15/month), OR if you want to give other amounts - ANYTHING helps - you can call 1-866-781-8811 or donate at CHOA.org/radiothon!

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Newly diagnosed kids & their families participate in a 2-day program that will help them understand diabetes, how it affects the body, how to manage the diagnosis - and then there are more 'advanced' classes to learn even more about diabetes and their "new normal."

Be a part of helping families handle their "new normal" by donating: http://bit.ly/2zMw2bq

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And it's really, really hard. And she needs help.

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ESPECIALLY if you work in retail and then you get THOSE customers. They stay past closing. They make a mess. They ask dumb questions. They're rude. We get it! But don't lose your job by taking it out on them>/i> - take it out on our Retail Vent Line! 

Go ahead, and vent to us: it's anonymous and we'll bleep out any profanity! 1-844-TBS-VENT

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This is what you get for being a people pleaser.

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Then he tried it out on Cassie, who LOVES riddles. Her first guess - that she was SO sure about - WRONG. Her second guess ("OOOOH I SEE") WRONG. Her third guess ("Is it a trick? This?") WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

Can YOU figure it out before we do?

Here's the Facebook post, verbatim:

Read the riddle. If the answer is incorrect, I can choose any of your photos and you have to post it along with the riddle. If you answer correctly, I write your name in the comments (with a trophy emoji, duh).

Riddle: It’s 7:00 am. You are asleep and there is a sudden knock on the door. Behind the door are your parents, who came to have breakfast. In your fridge: bread, milk (pasteurized!), juice, and a jar of jam. To answer, what will you open first? Only answer directly to me (DM). Thanks!

Make sure you read it correctly!!! 😂

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Well, Moe ran into one of them - he was on the same flight, then they were next to each other at baggage claim...and that's where Moe DETHRONED one of the top actors. 

Mic. Drop.

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Then he tried it out on Cassie, who LOVES riddles. Her first guess - that she was SO sure about - WRONG. Her second guess ("OOOOH I SEE") WRONG. Her third guess ("Is it a trick? This?") WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

Can YOU figure it out before we do?

Here's the Facebook post, verbatim:

Read the riddle. If the answer is incorrect, I can choose any of your photos and you have to post it along with the riddle. If you answer correctly, I write your name in the comments (with a trophy emoji, duh).

Riddle: It’s 7:00 am. You are asleep and there is a sudden knock on the door. Behind the door are your parents, who came to have breakfast. In your fridge: bread, milk (pasteurized!), juice, and a jar of jam. To answer, what will you open first? Only answer directly to me (DM). Thanks!

Make sure you read it correctly!!! 😂

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just fill out the form below and send the "North Pole" what your kid has done to be on Santa’s “naughty” list, and the phone numbers you can be reached at from 4PM – 8PM, and your kid might just get a call from Santa telling them to behave.

Santa calls Jaden, who not only is a sore loser, but he's LYING to his mom about his behavior report cards from class! But for all his "Naughty List" faults, he can rap right along with Drake to "Gods Plan!" It's an all new Santa Scared Straight!

If you need Santa to call your kid, enter them here: thebertshow.com/santascaredstraight

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And then she found out THIS little nugget of jaw-dropping info: when she left him alone for a few minutes, her boss was ALL over him, touching his arm, his face...AND SHE TRIED TO KISS HIM!

Does she say something to her boss about it and risk it being SUPER uncomfortable (and potential retaliation from boss lady)...or just let it be in the past and move on?

We check in to see if she confronted her boss, but there's been a new development in the story...some of her coworkers are telling her that her BOYFRIEND was putting the moves on the BOSS, not the other way around!

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So, we've got three elves - Trixie from last year - and two new friends, Jelly Bean & Lil' Juicy - in studio to answer ANY question you have, Christmas-related or not.

From relationship advice to behind-the-scenes scoop on who's on the Naughty & Nice list, ask them anything:

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So, we throw a few mock questions at her...and let's just say it doesn't go well.

Well, Intern Stefani had the interview, and we get the update on how she did...

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Moe and Intern Blake have been pitted against each other and have even squared off a few times...and now Moe's about to do something really hard: the right thing.

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Here are a few of professions we’ve heard of tipping in the past, but make sure you don't leave someone out...or tip them the wrong way!

(Did you know that U.S. postal workers can’t legally accept monetary donations?)

Regular Babysitter: One evening’s pay and a small gift from your child.

Dog Walker: Up to one week’s pay or a gift.

Teachers: A gift from your child. (And nothing "Apple" themed, please!)

Hair Stylist: The cost of one visit.

More professions at thebertshow.com

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HOW. DARE. YOU.

And Intern Solomon is here to defend it...with SCIENCE.

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The backstory: he was in a long-term relationship with his ex for 4 or 5 years, and they lived together. She has an 8-year-old daughter. While he's not the biological dad, (the real dad dipped out shortly after she was born), he's been there pretty much her entire life, in that father figure role.

So, the ex has been asking him to do family-style holiday stuff with them about twice a week, and Samantha's starting to get suspicious...but does she have any right to say anything?!

You guys were torn - some said to have Samantha stay out of it, others said Samantha should go ON the holiday hangouts with him...so what did she do? We get the update!

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She'll explain what's going on in her own words...it's time for a heavy Bert Show Family Meeting.

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But here's the thing: if you've been on a plane, you know how easy it is to see someone else's TV screen. And what are you supposed to watch when the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world can see what you're watching?

She picked something she thought was safe - "Devil Wears Prada" - but the opening credits are all half naked women in lingerie. And this is NOT the first time something like this has happened to her on the plane.

What other movies should you be warned about - movies that you wouldn't think had scandalous scenes, but low key are NOT ok to watch with certain people around you in public?

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And then she found out THIS little nugget of jaw-dropping info: when she left him alone for a few minutes, her boss was ALL over him, touching his arm, his face...AND SHE TRIED TO KISS HIM!

Does she say something to her boss about it and risk it being SUPER uncomfortable (and potential retaliation from boss lady)...or just let it be in the past and move on?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ESPECIALLY if you work in retail and then you get THOSE customers. They stay past closing. They make a mess. They ask dumb questions. They're rude. We get it! But don't lose your job by taking it out on them>/i> - take it out on our Retail Vent Line! 

Go ahead, and vent to us: it's anonymous and we'll bleep out any profanity! 1-844-TBS-VENT

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The catch: We have to trade up in value, so you can bet we’re not trading a limited edition painting for a pen that your significant other chews on.

We're are starting off with  Kristin's shag rug that use to sit in her living room.

April wants to trade a dog butler statue that has to go and Kristin accepted!

But what we got for this dog statue today is way, way creepy. It was found in the rural woods, and we're pretty (100%) sure that it was either used in a ritual or is haunted.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN TRADIO - we just got SHUT DOWN!

What are we gonna do with this dog now?!

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They then either post this videos online to get their teachers in trouble - OR - they use it to BLACKMAIL their teachers! Other students are breaking into their teacher's phones and stealing private information and using that to get better grades.

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So, we decided to put a bunch of the song titles into a bucket and let the millennials in studio - aka our interns - pull out a song title (Davi and Cassie got immunity because they did them in the past!). So, the interns are gonna have to write lyrics to the rest of the carol, based on the song!

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Why? Because it's a word that's a slippery slope to bad relationship dynamics (that maybe work for some people, but most would be totally against it), and it represents a kind of relationship that she's really against...

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where it used to be considered cute and flirty, now people are starting to see it as a song about a guy who simply won't take no for an answer.  There are those who even see an element of date rape in the song...especially when the woman says, "Say, what's in this drink?"

With that in mind, the Cleveland radio station Star 102 dropped the song from its Christmas playlist.

They made the announcement in a blog where they said it was the listeners who actually made the call.

They said the song now seems "very manipulative and wrong," and added, "In a world where #MeToo has finally given women the voice they deserve, the song has no place."

Now, when they said the listeners were the ones who made the call, they were referring to an online poll they did, asking which Christmas songs they should play.  But you can't see the results of that poll.

They also put up a Facebook poll specifically asking whether or not they should play "Baby It's Cold Outside".

If you vote, you can see the results.  And as of last night, it was 94% to 6% in favor of keeping "Baby It's Cold Outside".  The poll is still open, but it seems obvious how this is going to turn out.

The people commenting on the poll are making themselves heard too, and they're livid.  Maybe a little too livid.  It's amazing, and frankly kind of sad, just how upset people are getting over this.

Some people are actually accusing Star 102 of staging this whole thing for publicity, 

But one couple took things one step further and rewrote the entire song...and we're not sure how we feel about it.

And then - AND THEN - WALTER is about to ruin one of your favorite Christmas movies!

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The backstory: he was in a long-term relationship with his ex for 4 or 5 years, and they lived together. She has an 8-year-old daughter. While he's not the biological dad, (the real dad dipped out shortly after she was born), he's been there pretty much her entire life, in that father figure role.

So, the ex has been asking him to do family-style holiday stuff with them about twice a week, and Samantha's starting to get suspicious...but does she have any right to say anything?!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And YEARS later...Moe's boss finally got him back!

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And that's why we do it: tell me something good.

From the hundreds who showed up at a lonely veteran's funeral to the UPS driver who adopted a dog who wouldn't say no, to Secret Santa paying off layaways and a stranger returning a wallet with EXTRA cash in it, here's what's good in the world!

But first - Cassie is breaking holiday protocol, and she thinks it something that might help EVERYONE out. Zero pressure, y'all.

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We get Jacqueline back on to see how the brunch date went with her former BFF...and let's just say what happened and her back-and-forth reactions to it led Kristin to give her the reality check she seriously needed.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The catch: We have to trade up in value, so you can bet we’re not trading a limited edition painting for a pen that your significant other chews on.

But what we got for this dog statue today is way, way creepy. It was found in the rural woods, and we're pretty (100%) sure that it was either used in a ritual or is haunted.

We're are starting off with  Kristin's shag rug that use to sit in her living room.

April wants to trade a dog butler statue that has to go and Kristin accepted!

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN TRADIO - we just got SHUT DOWN!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just fill out the form below and send the "North Pole" what your kid has done to be on Santa’s “naughty” list, and the phone numbers you can be reached at from 4PM – 8PM, and your kid might just get a call from Santa telling them to behave.

Santa calls Peyton, who has been breaking toys (including throwing his sister's new birthday toys down the stairs), pushing his mom and saying he hates her!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, we decided to put a bunch of the song titles into a bucket and let the millennials in studio - aka our interns - pull out a song title (Davi and Cassie got immunity because they did them in the past!). So, the interns are gonna have to write lyrics to the rest of the carol, based on the song!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.