We answer our most asked questions as a Clinical Psychotherapist and Matchmaker!

If you would like more information or if you would like to book a private session with Mairead and Stephanie visit www.toughlove.ie

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• The many times that loneliness is more likely to happen.
• The food map of your connections. 
• The micro connections of your day.
• Why are we, in Ireland more lonely than our European neighbours.
• How we can include others and do we forget to do that? 
• Alone and lonely are not the same thing. 
• Do you date from a place of loneliness.
• The power and enormous value of volunteering 
• The wonderful way women support women.
• Be kind to others - maybe there is something that you don’t know. 
• Actively include others - playing your part. 
• The loneliness that is part of being in a bad relationship!

If you would like to book a private consultation with Stephanie and Mairead visit www.toughlove.ie

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- What is anxiety?

- Why you have to take responsibility for your mental health for the sake of your relationship.

- Why sleep is a barometer of your mental health.

- Some techniques that Stephanie and Mairead recommends if you have anxiety 

• Emotional Freedom Tech
• EMDR
• Tapping
• Box Breathing

- What can you do if someone you love has anxiety?

- What does it feel like to have anxiety?

- Effects of alcohol on mental health.

- Panic attacks?

- Do not ignore the symptoms of anxiety, identify the source, visit your GP and consider a therapist.

- Remember, you will find your sparkle again! 

If you would like to book a private consultation with Stephanie and Mairead visit www.toughlove.ie

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-What we saw over the weekend in Zelensky's meeting with Trump.

-Stephanie and Mairead discuss their experiences of being bullied.

-How bullying affects you long term

-Stephanie's experience of working as a clinical psychotherapist and dealing with bullying in the workplace.

-Bullying, stress undealt with leads to burnout.

-Recording the pattern, notes and facts of your bullying.

- Stephanie's experience of employee assistance programmes.

-Why do people bully?

If you would like to book a private consultation with Stephanie and Mairead, visit www.toughlove.ie

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• What is it Catfishing 
• What are the Red Flags?
• What are the motivations? 
• What are the impacts on the one catfished? 
• Discussion of the Johnny B story. 
• And Analysis of the motivations of Nicky - the Johnny B catfish
• The legalities
• What to watch out for ?
• How to keep yourself safe?

If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead to discuss any area of your life visit www.toughlove.ie

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If you would like to book a private session with Mairead and Stephanie visit www.toughlove.ie 

Thank you and we hope you enjoy this episode. 

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Also 

• Understanding the highs and lows of the past and how they shape xmas for us
• How we unconsciously try to rewrite the wrongs of xmas past.
• Understanding the joy and disappointment of gift giving.
• If your relationship is in trouble how to cope. 
• Working toward harmony not perfection.

If you would like to book a session with Stephanie or Mairead see www.toughlove.ie

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If you would like to book a private session with Mairead and Stephanie visit www.toughlove.ie 

Thank you and we hope you enjoy this episode. 

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How seeking someone to be a potential father or mother of your children is very different later in life when seeking love just for yourself.

We discuss the benefits and challenges of dating later in life.

How the best relationships are built on friendships.

If you would like to book a private consultation with Stepahnie and Mairead visit www.lovehq.ie

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What does people pleasing look like like from a psychological perspective?

How martyrdom is a first cousin of people pleasing.

What to do if you feel that you are a people pleaser.

Stephanie's 5 step guide to gaining back your power from being a people pleaser.

If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead to discuss your dating, life or relationship issues visit www.toughlove.ie

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What is stress? 

What does stress feel like?

When stress happens?

How stress and noise holds you back from finding love.

How to support your partner through stress.

Why we need to mind our energy and how to identify "drains and radiators".

If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead on Zoom or if you would like us to help you with your dilemmas, please get in touch www.toughlove.ie

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- The media coverage about Kate Midldleton, her cancer diagnosis, your right to privacy and boundaries, external pressures to share and toxicity in our relationships.

-Why are people in Ireland some of the oldest in Ireland becoming first time parents? How do societal issues impact our relationships?

-Why is it said that men should not move into a woman's home?

-Conversations you should have before moving in together.

-When is the right time to break up with someone?

-The impact that separation and divorce has on men?

-Should you stay friends with an ex?

If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead visit www.toughlove.ie

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• What does International Women's Day mean to us? 
• Mairead and Stephanie share their own personal and workplace experiences with women - positive and negative. 
• How can women work against women and be an obstacle to each other? 
• What kind of woman are you for other women - how do they feel in your company and when they leave your company?
• How do women support each other!
• Are there times that we expect too much of each other or too little?
• The toxicity of gossip and how to disengage from it.
• The part women play in holding women back. 
• How women compete with each other, in obvious and subtle ways!
• When does normal healthy competition become toxic?
• A day to consider reflecting on the kind of woman, friend you are for other women!
• The special times women need women- as a young mother, after a breakup, grief times, after divorce, unemployed for a long time, after illness, seeking a partner for a long time.
• Role models and why they matter.
• How you can supplement the gaps in the early role models of your life.  
• The role of fathers and men as supporters of daughters, wives, women and colleagues. 
• The gift of our young generation of men who are unbiased to women

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www.toughlove.ie

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• The pain suffering and grief of break up.
• All of the people that are involved in your break up in particular -children, new partners , family, your ex’s family. 
• How to separate the emotion of the break up and to make good decisions.
• How to keep the future in view, despite the emotion of the break up.
• How to manage invitations.
• When to introduce new partners and when is it too soon?
• How about you?
• Recalibrating your desires for the future.
• Bring some business practicality to a very emotional situation! 

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Part 3 of 4 in our series covering couples in crisis from when to get relationship help, conversations and communications through to healing a healthy relationship or when to separate or divorce.

The checklist of important conversations you should be prepared for to have a healthy separation and divorce.

If you would like to book a private consultation with Mairead and Stephanie visit www.toughlove.ie

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Part 2 of 4 in our series covering couples in crisis from when to get relationship help, conversations and communications through to healing a healthy relationship or when to separate or divorce.

If you would like to book a private consultation with Mairead and Stephanie visit www.toughlove.ie

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Part one of our four part series covering couples in crisis, when to get relationship help, conversations and communication, through to healing a healthy relationship or deciding on separation and divorce.

If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead visit www.toughlove.ie or iof you would like to get in contact with us email toughloveirl@gmail.com

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We discuss - 

Cheating and the real life statistics of cheating.

Age gaps.

What is holding you back?

Your journey - what is happening in your life or relationship drawing you to this podcast and remembering to just keep going.

Grå- gust (Using August to find love and direction in your life for the rest of the year!) Increase your friendships, new activities and your social life)

Stephanie - "Make one good decision and more good decisions will follow".

Don't speak badly about your partner to your family or friends.

Are you actually dating that person, is it actually going somewhere or are you over invested?

Stephanie shares sone love movies she watched lately on Netflix

If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead together on Zoom visit www.toughlove.ie

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• Scrolling, influencers - where you're taking your advice and who you are allowing influence your thoughts and decisions.
• The imperative of idle time on holidays-how to let something new happen as you step away from routine.
• Phubbing-the damage it does the hurt it can cause and how to deal with that.
• Who’s paying for the holiday?
• Listener Questions 
• My partner won’t talk about the future! My new boyfriend is very slow- not even a kiss yet! She’s always busy maybe she doesn’t want to go out with me? He said he’s not looking for anything serious, what should I do?

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New research stating 63.5% of Tinder users are either married or in a relationship.

How our "Ask Stephanie and Mairead" consultations work - To book - www.toughlove.ie

Red flags and green flags at the early stages of a relationship.

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When friends cannot celebrate your successes .

How you lose friends when you couple up and why?

Where love is anchored in your relationships?

Types of friends!

Respect your won boundaries, so others know where they are. 

How people pleasing self defeats and lays pressure on the partner.

The importance of someone leading more emotionally. 

Practice saying NO and experience the power shift!

How to nip it in the bud!

Small toxic actions.

The toxicity of criticism. 

The part you play in the toxicity that prevails. 

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- How the housing crisis is affecting how we date, separations and relationships.

-Oxytocin - fascinating facts about the love hormone.

- How men and women date differently.

-The difference in the perspective of men and women when going on a first date.

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- In the media, we briefly explore the importance of trust in relationships in light of the RTE pay dilemma.

- Issues encountered on holidays for long term couples.

- How to prepare for a first holiday in a new relationship.

- If the holiday is destroyed , what to do.

- Holidaying with family or friends as a couple.

- When you or your other half are going on holidays without your other half.

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• What couples argue about!
• How the style of argument is destructive or productive!
• What is your pattern!
• Why apologies and being able to accept an apology is important. 
• How to argue in a healthy way
• The toxicity of insults
• How to repair after an argument.
• How to let it go, forgive and move on. 

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If you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead visit www.lovehq.ie

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• Characteristics that are commonly looked for!
• The dynamics of choice 
• The decisions we make and why?
• The role of the unconscious and how it interrupts our decisions!
• Early sexual and love choices and how they impact our patterns!
• Recognising our own desire separate from what family and friends want for us!
• Consciously choosing!
• Knowing your Deal Breakers!- Does it help you or hinder you? Does it over focus you on what you don’t want and where is the balance?

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• Finances can you put this means in terms of equality and responsibility.
• Cleaning and chores - , how small things can irritate but how women need to be careful not carry the emotional load.
• Work schedules-finding couple time and setting it aside amidst busy work schedules.
• Alone time and how much are personal space you need.
• Decisions-discuss how decisions will get made, and who feels what about that process.
• Habits lifestyles and idiosyncrasies.
• Boundaries-things you know already about yourself don't need to be communicated in terms of your boundaries.
• Pets-if you buy pets together and your break up what is going to happen.
• Furniture and belongings-make a simple list it may be invaluable later.
• Privacy-who will be allowed to come to stay and who will have a key.
• Whose house is it and the implications of this-are you creating a house or a home?
• The importance of living together before marriage and is marriage any different?]

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What is the narcissistic abuse cycle?

Behaviours of a narcissist

- High sense of importance

- Need to be admired and seen as superior

- Critical of others

- No problem using someone for their own advantage

- Envious of others and feel others are envious of them

How to break up with a narcissist

How to heal after dating a narcissist.

If you would like to get in contact with us or book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead visit www.toughlove.ie

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This podcast includes:

What is coercive control exactly?

What are the micro presentations of it?

What to do if you suspect it?

Dealing with toxic control or toxic power in your relationship!

The value of slowing down to help you see the red flags ?

Narcissism and how it is masked in successful relationships.

The narcissist you date!

The exaggerations !

The lies! And what lies behind that!

The wild wonderful promises!

How to protect yourself against the narcissistic dater.

If you are worried about your own relationship or a friend's relationship you can call Women’s Aid on the 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900 or use the free and confidential chat support service. Men needing support can contact the Male Advice Line on 1800 816 588

If you would like to get in touch to confidentially share your stories or queries with Mairead and Stephanie, visit www.toughlove.ie

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Topics covered 

Friendships over our life span.

Why new friends are refreshing!

Stephanie and Mairead's friendship,how it has developed.

Should you be friends with your ex?

How to create and analyze your social universe.

Ending the friendships that need to be ended.

Friends that can't celebrate your success.

When your friends pull away after falling in love or having children.

Cobwebbing your friendships.

The challenge for friends after divorce.

How to expand your social circle.

Plan your connections, reach outs, and social life.

Friendships in the remote working era. 

Keeping friendships when you're a couple and mind those boundaries.

Tending and nurturing a diverse and varied social universe.

If you would like us to confidential share your story, discuss a particular topic or if you would like to book a private consultation with Stephanie and Mairead together visit www.toughlove.ie and don't forget to follow us on instagram- tough_love_podcast

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• Thinking about what you want from your relationship now, or the one you are working toward.
• Creating space for yourself- tune into you. 
• Be compassionate with yourself.
• Look for patterns.
• Acknowledge your feelings.
• Assessing the balance of your relationship - Is it how you want it?
• Are trying to do all the work. 
• How to invite, ask or forge change in your relationship. 
• The imperative of finding your individual and couple power source. 
• How to handle disappointment in your relationship.
• Has Xmas exposed something in your relationship that needs addressing. 
• Create some quietness so you can tune into yourself. 

If you would like to book a private online session with Stephanie and Mairead, visit www.toughlove.ie

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In this episode we discuss-

-The average people lose their virginity.

-How much sex are people actually having?

-The reasons why men and women flirt.

-How often are Irish people having sex?

-How many orgasms are Irish women having per week?

-Do all partners talk about sex and how important is it that couples talk about sex?

-Do couples go to therapy to talk about sex?

-How do you talk about se with your partner?

-Why do people go to sex workers?

-Why do people become addicted to sex?

-What are women's no. 1 regrets when it comes to sex?

-When should you have sex with a new partner?

-What are the average age groups of people having one night stands?

If you would like to confidentially share any of your relationship or dating stories with us for our podcast or if you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead, please visit us at www.toughlove.ie

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In this episode we discuss-

-When freedom really began for women in Ireland.

-The roles of men and women in modern relationships.

-The impact female education is having on modern relationships.

-"Marrying up", the science of how men and women choose their partners.

-Are women now dating younger.

-When women are the main earners and the additional stress of being the bread winner of the relationship.

-Who tends to earn more money? Single or married people.

-What are men seeking in a modern relationship?

-Why you have chemistry with someone people and not other.

If you would like to share any of your relationship or dating stories with us for our podcast or if you would like to book a private session with Stephanie and Mairead, please visit us at www.toughlove.ie

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• What is Christmas for you? Do you romanticize it?
• The external narrative around singles !
• Where is the opportunity at this time of year!
• The dreaded family questions!
• What is your version of happiness?
• Invitations and how to respond!
• Your internal narrative- what you are telling yourself. 
• The loneliness factor.
• The dating fatigue. 
• Introducing a new partner to your family. 
• Single and without family or family relationships feel toxic.
• There are times when being single is exactly the right thing. 
• How success changes how we look at singledom.
• The opportunities that are there for you. 
• Using the time to shape your lovelife and life ahead. 
• How others may devalue your time, because you're single.
• Building your own happiness, one day at a time. 
• What are you actively doing to move your life to where you would like it to be.
• Turning up the volume on fun, activity and opportunities in your life. 
• Prepare the answer to that awkward question!
• How Mairead and I can support your love journey. 
• 
  

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your relationship over time! From dating to the time of real commitment,how you behave and

communicate will shape your relationship.

TOPICS

● How self awareness helps.

● Emotional intelligence

● Skill compatibility and communication.

● Capacity to intimately share with your partner

● How to effect change.

● Criticism versus validation.

● Confidence in your own boundaries and story.

● Reviewing your relationships over time .

● Disagreements, well managed can let your relationship grow and expand.

● The validation language of love.

● Boundaries,

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is established and long term. Is it possible to get over the disappointment and anger and should

you even try?

Topics

● Navigating the anger

● Why it happens?

● Do some people always cheat?

● What to do when you find out!

● Can your relationship survive it?

● How therapy can help!

● Is it always about sex!

If you like to contact Stephanie and Mairead to share your relationship stories or if you would

like to book a private session with them visit www.toughlove.ie

Stephanie Regan :

Website :https://www.stephanieregan.ie/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanie-regan-98a65098/

Mairead Loughman :

Website :https://www.lovehq.ie/

Podcast, Would Like to Meet:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/would-like-to-meet/id1535091835

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mair%C3%A9ad-loughman-b46886111/

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/lovehq.ie/

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considered a negative word in relationships, but not here. Sensing that you have power and

some leverage to influence the direction and pace of your relationship is vital to a healthy, happy

one. Without this, someone is conceding, staying silent, appeasing, giving in, and over time,

resentment builds and unhappiness follows.

Topics

● The toxicity of power versus positive power

● Power to influence your relationship.

● How overinvesting on dates erodes your power.

● The subtle ways you may hand over your power.

● How you signal your influence or lack of it in the early stages of dating.

● Tune into your own reaction and act on it.

● Look at your own patterns and try alternatives.

● When the power balance is wrong - what to do? how do you know?

● When is the relationship healthy?

● Making changes in your relationship!

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What story do you tell yourself! Who do you blame! Must someone always be at fault.

Breakups are not only an ending,but also a real opportunity for a fresh start,with something learned, that can enhance your future love life. 

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