The Twaugust Saga: A Four Year, Four-Minute Daily Bobby Patscast (During the Month of August)

Breaking Twawn - Day 31 - The Finale (w/Alice)

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 04:40:00 GMT

Alice joins me to recap Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2, the entire Twilight saga, and Twaugust itself. Did Missi finally understand the appeal of Bobby Patts?

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Breaking Twawn - Day 30

Sun, 31 Aug 2025 03:27:00 GMT

...Twaugust shall return...

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Breaking Twawn - Day 29

Sat, 30 Aug 2025 04:34:43 GMT

fade to black

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Breaking Twawn - Day 28

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 03:09:07 GMT

a fair look at the twawns

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Breaking Twawn - Day 27

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 00:52:31 GMT

roll'em

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Breaking Twawn - Day 26

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 02:29:00 GMT

m o n t a g e

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Breaking Twawn - Day 25

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 04:55:06 GMT

i think reneesme is two actresses

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Breaking Twawn - Day 24

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

lets get visceral visceral

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Breaking Twawn - Day 23

Sun, 24 Aug 2025 02:48:00 GMT

howl at the moon

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Breaking Twawn - Day 22

Sat, 23 Aug 2025 04:31:02 GMT

fambly

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Breaking Twawn - Day 21

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 02:45:37 GMT

blood and not blood

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Breaking Twawn - Day 20

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 04:53:00 GMT

death becomes her

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Breaking Twawn - Day 19

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 01:10:47 GMT

shit gets dark

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Breaking Twawn - Day 18

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 04:03:00 GMT

it all comes crashing down

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Breaking Twawn - Day 17

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 04:55:03 GMT

these movies still wind up being about boys

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Breaking Twawn - Day 16

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 03:21:00 GMT

lawyer up vampires

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Breaking Twawn - Day 15

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 02:55:37 GMT

i'm ready for body horror i've seen the substance

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Breaking Twawn - Day 14

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 03:16:12 GMT

two weeks, two movies, double the pleasure, double the pain

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Breaking Twawn - Day 13

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 04:58:00 GMT

a bobby patscast

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Breaking Twawn - Day 12

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 00:41:22 GMT

what the fuck stephanie meyers times two

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Breaking Twawn - Day 11

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 03:22:00 GMT

a twaugust technical difficulty turns tragedy into an opportunity

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Breaking Twawn - Day 10

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 04:16:00 GMT

more questions than i may ever be prepared to deal with

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Breaking Twawn - Day 9

Sun, 10 Aug 2025 04:59:00 GMT

the ocean is not for humans or sexy times

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Breaking Twawn - Day 8

Sat, 09 Aug 2025 04:58:00 GMT

wait brazil factors into both parts

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Breaking Twawn - Day 7

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 04:17:38 GMT

it's father's day

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Breaking Twawn - Day 6

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 03:57:20 GMT

the secrets are out

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Breaking Twawn - Day 5

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 01:16:58 GMT

wedding drama and baby mama

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Breaking Twawn - Day 4

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 02:30:00 GMT

how do you zone a forest

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Breaking Twawn - Day 3

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 04:57:44 GMT

families gather for different occasions

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Breaking Twawn - Day 2

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 02:00:00 GMT

it's ~~human~~ hunting season

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Breaking Twawn - Day 1

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 16:00:00 GMT

for four long years...

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Twclipse - Day 31

Sun, 01 Sep 2024 04:59:39 GMT

there really isn't a dark side to Twaugust; matter of fact, it's all dark

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Twclipse - Day 30

Sat, 31 Aug 2024 04:48:00 GMT

what a movie

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Twclipse - Day 29

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 04:33:26 GMT

based on the novel eclipse by stephanie meyer

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Twclipse - Day 28

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 04:24:11 GMT

boring bedside banter

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Twclipse - Day 27

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 04:21:19 GMT

I always forget one of the most foreboding characters is named Jane

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Twclipse - Day 26

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 04:44:54 GMT

farewell to a villain who didn't fare well

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Twclipse - Day 25

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 04:25:59 GMT

choose your fighter

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Twclipse - Day 24

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 04:33:22 GMT

so much kissing

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Twclipse - Day 23

Sat, 24 Aug 2024 04:42:46 GMT

uncontent tent content

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Twclipse - Day 22

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 04:49:35 GMT

shiver tent

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Twclipse - Day 21

Thu, 22 Aug 2024 04:11:33 GMT

the battle for the pacific northwest draws nearer still

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Twclipse - Day 20

Wed, 21 Aug 2024 04:24:50 GMT

he gets on one knee

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Twclipse - Day 19

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 04:23:47 GMT

virgin confirmed

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Twclipse - Day 18

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 04:47:39 GMT

sage advice from charlie

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Twclipse - Day 17

Sun, 18 Aug 2024 02:54:52 GMT

smells

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Twclipse - Day 16

Sat, 17 Aug 2024 04:36:57 GMT

yah jasper why don't you mention where you came from hmmmmm

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Twclipse - Day 15

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 04:34:43 GMT

vampire training montage

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Twclipse - Day 14

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 04:41:55 GMT

graduation finally

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Twclipse - Day 13

Wed, 14 Aug 2024 04:40:52 GMT

who is behind a vamparmy

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Twclipse - Day 12

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 04:47:17 GMT

rosalind is a fucking nightmare

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Twclipse - Day 11

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 04:34:49 GMT

we strip jacob of the hashtash

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Twclipse - Day 10

Sun, 11 Aug 2024 04:07:23 GMT

being a vampire sucks says every vampire

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Twclipse - Day 9

Sat, 10 Aug 2024 04:49:11 GMT

be careful of them seattle vampires

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Twclipse - Day 8

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 04:22:49 GMT

Bella is the most important person in the Pacific Northwest

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Twclipse - Day 7

Thu, 08 Aug 2024 04:14:05 GMT

imprinting on this podcast

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Twclipse - Day 6

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 04:24:43 GMT

they bring up being imprinted omg it's happening

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Twclipse - Day 5

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 04:00:54 GMT

#teamjacob returns and he is a moody son of a bitch

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Twclipse - Day 4

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 04:29:07 GMT

mother and daughter and vampire bonding time

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Twclipse - Day 3

Sun, 04 Aug 2024 04:37:03 GMT

we're back at the high school because oh right bella is a high schooler

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Twclipse - Day 2

Sat, 03 Aug 2024 04:30:43 GMT

another year, another grounding from daddy swan

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Twclipse - Day 1

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 03:42:54 GMT

we're back, baybee

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New Twoon - Day 31 - Finale (w/Alice)

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 04:59:16 GMT

Alice joins me and we celebrate New Twoon 2023!

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New Twoon - Day 30

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 05:01:14 GMT

always have both eyes on the road so you don't run into shirtless men with jean shorts

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New Twoon - Day 29

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 04:59:00 GMT

don't want no creepy males in high school girl's bedrooms

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New Twoon - Day 28

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 04:59:56 GMT

so i guess everything worked out for the moment, huh

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New Twoon - Day 27

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 04:59:47 GMT

vampire law delivers its own brand of vampire justice

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New Twoon - Day 26

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 04:11:53 GMT

V A M P I R E L A W O F F I C E S

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New Twoon - Day 25

Sat, 26 Aug 2023 04:59:55 GMT

Edward is about to go Fat Man and Little Boy on Italy

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New Twoon - Day 24

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 04:59:11 GMT

IT'S HAPPENING

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New Twoon - Day 23

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 04:59:22 GMT

vampire alice is here to spread her special brand of cheer

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New Twoon - Day 22

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 04:59:55 GMT

nuzzle me in my truck daddy

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New Twoon - Day 21

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 04:59:43 GMT

i've always wanted to jump off a cliff too, i get it bella

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New Twoon: Day 20

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 04:59:11 GMT

hangry like the wulf

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New Twoon - Day 19

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 04:59:43 GMT

guess who is coming to dinner

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New Twoon - Day 18

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 04:59:50 GMT

this time it's bella who won't take no for an answer

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New Twoon - Day 17

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 04:59:06 GMT

how many people going to visit bella in her room

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New Twoon - Day 16

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 04:59:15 GMT

edward uses bella like an NPC

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New Twoon - Day 15

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 04:59:41 GMT

jake has trouble with his transitioning

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New Twoon - Day 14

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 04:59:30 GMT

jake fucks it all up

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New Twoon - Day 13

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 04:59:45 GMT

worst movie date, best fake movie names

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New Twoon - Day 12

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 04:59:18 GMT

motocross ain't nothing to, um, cross when you are stalked by vampire hallucination

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New Twoon - Day 11

Sat, 12 Aug 2023 04:59:06 GMT

can these movies just be about bella and her best friend jacob

(i say day 10 despite being day 11 due to me being too lazy to fix by the time i noticed lol)

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New Twoon - Day 10

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 03:43:32 GMT

My heart is like a motorcycle from a junkyard, and you can be the mechanic to take it apart and put it back together

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New Twoon - Day 9

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 04:59:03 GMT

Anna Kendrick is right about everything

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New Twoon - Day 8

Wed, 09 Aug 2023 04:59:44 GMT

Bella big sad

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New Twoon - Day 7

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 04:59:13 GMT

Bella curls up into a ball (yah no that's basically it)

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New Twoon - Day 6

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 04:59:03 GMT

New Twoon - Day 5

Sun, 06 Aug 2023 04:59:17 GMT

Now I have to think about vampire souls??

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New Twoon - Day 4

Sat, 05 Aug 2023 04:59:12 GMT

Dinner party gone blood

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New Twoon - Day 3

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 04:41:58 GMT

A boring Shakespeare lesson and the promise of vampire law

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New Twoon - Day 2

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 04:38:31 GMT

Team Edward and Team Jacob gets established very early in this movie

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New Twoon - Day 1

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 04:59:57 GMT

New Year, New Twoon, New Missi. Let's fucking go! #TeamMissi

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Week 4 Recap - The Finale (w/Alice)

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 04:59:00 GMT

Missi Information and Alice Lee finally sit down together. The host of 'The Batmonth', 'The Best Idea of All Time', and 'Missed Calls with the Former Randoms', brings her expertise to the podcast - answering all of my questions and asking me all hers. It's a wonderful conversation between two people who found themselves spellbound by this story, many times for opposite reasons.

We talk about the future of this podcast, the history of this podcast, and why the hell did I do this podcast.

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The Twaugust Missitation: A Narrative, Meditative, Roleplay Journey

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:59:31 GMT

The Twaugust Missitation: A Narrative, Meditative, Roleplay Journey

Join Missi as she takes you through the plot of Twilight, as if we are all the main character, to finally see if we can figure out: "Why Eddy C?

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Twaugust - Episode 30

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 04:59:50 GMT

The credits of the film is the perfect time for our own credits.

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Twaugust - Episode 29

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 04:59:57 GMT

The penultimate daily episode and we hit the truest, most shocking surprise of the entirety of Twaugust - one that left me shocked and unbalanced, right before the finale.

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Twaugust - Episode 28

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 04:59:47 GMT

Prom is an important right of passage, according to this movie (but according to no one in real life). I'm DJ Denouement and I'll be spinning records to clear this party out of plot points.

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Twaugust - Episode 27

Sun, 28 Aug 2022 04:59:10 GMT

I get surprised by a plot point coming back, but we're closing so many loops in these later minutes, everything could come back.

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Twaugust - Episode 26

Sat, 27 Aug 2022 04:59:29 GMT

This movie sucks, literally! They be sucking on wrists, using tourniquetes, and making me guess, "wait, what comes next?"

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Twaugust - Episode 25

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 04:30:36 GMT

Highlights of me watching vampires attack:

"Oh FUCK."

"OW"

"FUCK."

and

"fuckfuckfucktheydon'tshowitallthewaybutjesuschrist"

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Twaugust Recap(?): Week 3 (w/Nikki Love and Tomato Tomato)

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 03:59:13 GMT

On the week three recap, we throw out the recap and get down to the nitty-gritty - Bobby Pats? Missi brings in two very special guests - her favorite Des Moines darling, Nikki Love, and her longsuffering, personal collaborator (husband), Tomato Tomato.

We nail down how cute Robert Pattinson is and how Robert Patterson is not Robert Pattinson. I also recap the highlights of the film, because I know my audience-of-two would revolt and drain my blood if I recapped the whole film.

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Twaugust - Episode 24

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 04:59:15 GMT

"Join our cult...join our cult...j-join our...cult?"

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Twaugust - Episode 23

Wed, 24 Aug 2022 04:59:56 GMT

Going on the run sucks when you're still a high school student stuck in a high school drama and then also vampires.

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Twaugust - Episode 22

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 04:59:57 GMT

They should have never played ball. Now we're on the run, no longer having fun, because of Bella's blood. Tone = shifted.

(cat cameo at the end)

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Twaugust - Episode 21

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 04:59:18 GMT

I would have never believed this movie has a five minute scene that revolves around baseball and bad vampires. And that it would be the best five minutes of the film.

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Twaugust - Episode 20

Sun, 21 Aug 2022 04:59:57 GMT

This entire podcast, our entire journey, with Bobby Pats, with Kay Stew, and with myself, have led us all to this glorious moment:

"Play ball."

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Twaugust - Episode 19

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 04:59:31 GMT

Thunderstorms and lightning, Edward's really frightening me!

Today's episode is a full-on audio experience unlike any other Twaugust ep - Mother Nature herself is my special guest.

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Bonus Missi-ing Information: Radio Free Multiverse Grand Trivia and the Big Bang of the Missiverse

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 23:15:50 GMT

Our first piece of Missi-ing Information - material cut from the episode, but still interesting enough to exist!

Emily, Forrest, and I had an extended talk about Radio Free Multiverse Trivia and how The George Lucas Talk Show brought Alice and us together in the first place.

Make sure to subscribe to Radio Free Multiverse on Twitch at:

twitch.tv/radiofreemultiverse/

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Twaugust - Day 18

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 04:59:50 GMT

Do vampire fly or do they merely avoid the ground exceptionally well?

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Twaugust - Day 17

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 04:59:27 GMT

Guess Whose Coming to (be) Dinner? Famous Italian, Bella Swan. Will her goose be cooked? Will the blood run down her Swan neck?

A Family Fangsgiving to Remember, tonight on Twaugust.

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Twaugust - Day 16

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 04:59:29 GMT

Anytime we dig deeper into the lore and mythology of this world and get out of the flowery field of teen romance, I instantly am back in. This is one of those episodes.

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Twaugust Recap - Week Two (w/Forrest and Emily from Radio Free Multiverse)

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 03:59:13 GMT

In what was successfully edited down to under the length of the first-half of the film, Emily and Forrest from Radio Free Multiverse - twitch.tv/radiofreemultiverse - join Missi for her ramblings of a person who is clearly in the middle of their own existential horror amongst the teen drama existential horror. Get settled for eyebanging, red flag, and Anna Kendrick was also there.

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Twaugust - Day 15

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 04:00:29 GMT

We hit the halfway mark and return to the film's tried and true form - a high school romantic drama, where one of the couple wants to murder and suck the blood from the other.

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Twaugust - Day 14

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 04:46:59 GMT

In which Bella takes every red flag that Edward has given her, puts them in a pile, lights them on fire, then dives face first into the flames.

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Twaugust - Day 13

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 03:48:12 GMT

Every day, it seems we have strayed further from the maker's light, but then, we are led to a foggy woods in Forks, WA, and the light doth shine its shimmery grace upon us. And like seeing the face of the maker, I may never be able to use my eyes again.

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Twaugust - Day 12

Sat, 13 Aug 2022 04:59:52 GMT

Edward voted against a relationship before he voted for it, Bring Your Daughter to Work Night, and a record setting amount of 'What?'s in the last minute - this is the nonsense I am dealing with before we even hit the halfway mark.

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Twaugust - Day 11

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 04:59:03 GMT

We achieve the triple lip-bite, and I achieve the maximum amount of Edward I care to for a while. Bring back Jacob!

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Twaugust - Day 10

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 03:53:45 GMT

In my longest solo episode yet, we hit the threshold of the first-third of the film and I get a mighty second wind as we enter the second-third. And in today's episode, Alice finally gets what she wanted.

Come for the reveals, stay for the revelations.

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Twaugust - Day 9

Wed, 10 Aug 2022 03:17:13 GMT

An exposition buffet on the beach might be just the palette cleanser I need to reinvigorate my appetite for this film. (It is).

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Twaugust - Day 8

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 04:41:45 GMT

Ya'll, it's not looking any better for #TeamEdward, how many times does a person have to tell you they are bad for you for you to believe them? And we've just crossed the 30 minute mark officially!

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Twaugust Recap - Week One (w/Adam Beilgard)

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 16:59:16 GMT

I'm joined by Des Moines actor and playwright, Adam Bielgard (@_cuilhandluke), to cover the first 30ish minutes in an oral history recap.

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Twaugust - Day 7

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 04:59:51 GMT

I was not ready, so not ready, for how this oft-romanticized and admired relationship started out. I hope I use the word "gaslighting" correctly.

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Twaugust - Day 6

Sun, 07 Aug 2022 04:34:00 GMT

You know the phrase, "can't see the forest because of the trees"? With this movie, I can't see the story because of the faces.

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Twaugust - Day 5

Sat, 06 Aug 2022 04:59:51 GMT

I've got a fever and the only prescription is more Twaugust...and bedrest.

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Twaugust - Day 4

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 03:57:26 GMT

We begin how every great episode of a podcast begins: with a startling revelation about the theme song. Plus, Diners, Dive-bombs, and Divorced Parents.

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Twaugust - Day 3

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 04:31:58 GMT

The moment you stop waiting for Robert, he reveals himself to you.

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Twaugust - Day 2

Wed, 03 Aug 2022 03:58:05 GMT

On our second day of Twaugust, I begin to ask myself if this is less of a classic cryptozoological fantasy and more a coming-of-age school drama?

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Twaugust - Day 1

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 04:52:42 GMT

Alice asked dared me to watch Twilight in four-minutes chunks in August, and I, as yet to see if foolishly, agreed.

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