We're Going to Tell: A Desperate Housewives Podcast

Lynette's Existential Crisis (Desperate Housewives S4, Ep 11: Sunday)

Sun, 12 Oct 2025 03:16:02 GMT

Christy and Anthony talk Jonas Bros mishaps again....

It's the Lord's day on Wisteria Lane and a whole lot of nothing happens.

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Is Victor a Victim? (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep 10: Welcome to Kangawa)

Wed, 01 Oct 2025 16:38:23 GMT

In the aftermath of the tornado, Bree tries to pimp out Andrew to get her house fixed, Lynette goes to spread Ida's ashes, Gabby tries to get the laundered money back, and Susan wants her new house guest to stay forever.

Apologies for the delay here..... Acast locked us out :(

Extended version with a glimpse of Anthony's child actor past on YouTube!

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ITS A TWISTER! (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep 9: Something's Coming)

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 05:58:46 GMT

Christy and Anthony talk labubus and crazy neighborhood drowning.....

Huge natural disaster takes the lane in this MEGA EPISODE!

Sorry for the massive delay... we yapped for 2 straight hours and I had to cut out a lot.

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Andrew Cuts the Cord (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep 8: Distant Past)

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 03:32:13 GMT

ENTER: CO HOST ANTHONY LOUIS LEE!!!

Christy and Anthony chat about religious woes and the blazing LA heat..

In this meaty episode, Lynette finds out the "dark" secret of her mother and stepfathers divorce, Andrew and Bree finally truly reconcile, Gabby drugs Carlos so he doesn't go to the police about suspected to be dead Victor, and Susan sets Julie up with a drug dealer.

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The Lynette Sisters (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep7: Don't Judge a Book By its Cover

Sat, 09 Aug 2025 20:34:17 GMT

Summer and Christy have Freaky Friday'd locations a little bit...

Summer talks cats on the roof, and Christy has more harrowing journeys.

Gabby leaves Victor in the middle of the ocean, Bree gets her new baby snipped, Susan finds out Mike's an addict, and Lynette tries to pawn her mom off to her sisters.

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Frankenstein's Baby (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep 6: Now I Know, Don't Be Scared

Sat, 26 Jul 2025 02:13:00 GMT

Summer and Christy talk cloudy days and more coyotes.

Halloweentime on Wisteria Lane and it's very spooky.

Susan meets Mike's father in prison, Lynette goes possum hunting, Gabby tries to leave Victor (again), and Frankenstein delivers Danielle's baby.

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Not the Wisteria Way (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep 5: Art Isn't Easy)

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 04:34:40 GMT

Wisteria Lane bands together against the gays new fountain, Katherine and Lynette run for president of the homeowners association, Gabby runs into her teenage ex again, Bree goes searching for her pregnant daughter, and Susan is being a people pleaser.

Christy and Summer talk kitty problems and harrowing journeys.

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Susan Vs. The Gays (Desperate Housewives, S4, Ep 4: Anything I Can't Stand)

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 02:53:37 GMT

Wisteria Lane is full of PESTS! Susan humiliates herself in-front of her new neighbors, Bob and Lee, Carlos becomes an STD Superspreader, Lynette buys a wig, and Bree deals with a surprise party and a surprise guest. Also, Mrs Simms dies.

Christy and Summer mainly talk Summer's continuous tales of desperation upon moving to LA.

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Lynette gets STONED (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep3: The Game)

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 04:47:10 GMT

Lynette's mom makes her weed brownies, Susan goes to a new OBGYN, Gabby makes Carlos jealous, and Katherine covers up a family secret.

Summer has a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT, and Christy talks Splash Mountain trauma.

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The Self-Appointed Queen of Wisteria Lane (S4, Ep 2: Smiles of a Summer Night)

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 19:18:15 GMT

In this episode, Susan disciplines Julie thanks to Mike, Lynette wants a chemo buddy, Gaby tries to get out of being Lynette's chemo buddy, and Bree crashes out over pie.

PLEASE help our pod be better and take this SURVEY

Summer and Christy talk car rentals and LA public transportation (AGAIN), Purple Cherry, and more!

Subscribe to PATREON to listen ad-free and watch our other antics, including baking Bree's blueberry muffins

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Edie Lives! (Desperate Housewives: S4, Ep01: Now You Know)

Wed, 21 May 2025 00:41:01 GMT

Edie survives her suicide attempt, Gabby and Carlos begin an illicit affair, Bree freaks people out. with her fake bump, and Susan freaks out over possible menopause. We also meet a new woman on the lane... KATHERINE.

Summer and Christy talk car rental troubles, expired credit. cards, having opps, and NEW PATREON CONTENT!!!

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BREE IS BACK WITH A BUMP (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep23: Getting Married Today)

Wed, 14 May 2025 21:15:25 GMT

Apologies for the terrible soft audio on Summer's end...didn't know the mic wasn't on the whole time :/

In this episode, Bree pretends to be pregnant, Lynette gets an unexpected visit from her mother, Gaby marries Victor, and Susan is unusually selfless.

Summer and Christy discuss Los Angeles public transportation, snitches, and the definition of flashback.

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WEIGH IN:

Flashback?

Cold-open flash forward moment in time?

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Let's Have A Baby! (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 22: What Would We Do Without You)

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 06:07:55 GMT

In this episode, Susan and Gaby go full-on Bride Wars, Edie wants to have a baby with Carlos, and Lynette hates Tom.

Summer and Christy discuss moving to Los Angeles and the heinous institution that is CreditKarma.

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The Tragic Demise of Lynette and Rick's (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep21: Into the Woods)

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 00:38:02 GMT

In this episode, Edie bribes Travers into wanting to visit more, Gaby gets a modicum of power that goes to her head, Lynette faces her feelings for Rick, and Susan goes rogue on the hunt for Mike.

Summer and Christy discuss moving cross-country, cross-country flight woes, literal cat fights, and much, much more.

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DUCK CONFIT! (Desperate Housewives: S3, Ep 20: Gossip)

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 02:06:05 GMT

Gabby wages war against Edie, Lynette goes out with her new boyfriend Rick, and Susan makes a choice.

Summer and Christy talk unfortunate doctor appointments, bullying men, and make a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Watch Big Hit Pending here .......

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I Saw The Man In Your Freezer (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep19: God, That's Good)

Sat, 22 Mar 2025 03:58:31 GMT

In this episode, Susan hastily plans her wedding while Mike tries to win her back, Gaby and Victor are caught in a scandal, Lynette does her best to keep the restaurant afloat, and Edie and Carlos violate people's privacy.

Summer and Christy discuss Happy Color, Sunday routines, impending cat playdates, and Summer's vertical A Trade of Hearts.

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MIKE SAVES THE BIG CHEESE! (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 18: Liaisons)

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 23:18:51 GMT

In this episode, Edie and Carlos have "rematch sex," Susan discovers that Ian is STILL jealous of Mike, Gaby makes Victor jealous, and, as usual, Lynette RUNS THE WHOLE PIZZERIA FOR TOM.

Summer and Christy discuss vices, toy fairs, spring breakers, and soooooo much more.

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No Nips Without Tips! (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 17: Dress Big)

Wed, 05 Mar 2025 17:13:55 GMT

In this filler episode, Gaby goes shopping at Victor's ex-wife's closet, Lynette and Tom fight over pizzeria uniforms, Edie tries to seduce Carlos, and Susan meets Ian's kooky British parents.

Summer and Christy talk Santa Monica, Disneyland, and more!

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NEW MERCH is here!

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Desperate Husbands (Desperate Housewives: S3,Ep 16: My Husband, the Pig)

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 20:31:41 GMT

This ep is a little kooky and all about the men. Mike and Ian fight over Susan, Carlos has an interrupted date, Tom tries to plan his anniversary, and Orson deals with a family emergency.

Summer and Christy talk scheduling conflicts and more really INSANE celeb run-ins.

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Zach Young's Girthy Sausage (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep15: The Little Things You Do)

Thu, 06 Feb 2025 02:02:44 GMT

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In this episode, Gaby thinks she slept with Zach, Lynette does damage control on the pizzeria, Susan can get Mike exonerated and MOTHER HODGE OFFICIALLY LOSES IT AND TRIES TO KILL BREE.

Summer and Christy discuss CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS, demon voices, and urinals.

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We aren't even pushing the Facebook group anymore

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Mike's Trip Down Memory Lane (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 14: I Remember That)

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 01:53:07 GMT

SORRY for our mics being hot!!!

In this episode, Bree wants Orson to go to the cops, Susan attends Jane's funeral, Gaby goes on a date with one of Zach's lawyers, and Lynette disagrees with Tom about how he wants to run the pizzeria.

Summer and Christy have A LOT TO CATCH YOU UP ON.

Will be posting an exclusive cut from this episode to our Patreon!

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Christy's Interlude (Announcement)

Sat, 21 Dec 2024 04:40:27 GMT

Christmas break!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year!

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The Twisted Mind of Mother Hodge (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 13: Come Play Wiz Me)

Sat, 14 Dec 2024 23:25:13 GMT

In this episode, Lynette fakes sick to help Tom with the pizzeria, Gaby goes on a date with Zach to help Susan get Mike out of jail, and Bree deals with the issue of Alma.

Summer and Christy read hate comments from Reddit and talk making amends, funky phone calls, and so much more.

Leave a comment on THIS Reddit thread about how much you love to hear us giggle

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Alma's Turn (Desperate Housewives, S3 Ep 12: Not While I'm Around)

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 17:14:52 GMT

We're back after our (inadvertent) Thanksgiving hiatus!

**YouTube video is a bit delayed due to technical difficulties*

In this episode, Gaby deals with a potential stalker situation, Bree confronts the Alma situation head-on, Susan worries about Julie having sex, and Lynette secretly helps Tom acquire a liquor license.

Summer and Christy discuss perpetual Sondheim callbacks, the beauty of the Delta One Lounge, perpetual pre-Thanksgiving rich people dinners, and Rachel Green.

(Episode coverage starts at 37:55)

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Wisteria Lane: THE MUSICAL! (Desperate Housewives: S3, Ep11: No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds)

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 08:00:29 GMT

WE SAW WICKED! Christy and Summer discuss it ... A lot.

Susan calls the cops on Orson, Bree stages a dramatic dinner party, Lynette is dealing with sociopath Kayla, and Gaby learns she's not ready to date.

... also sorry sound is all over the place tried to record in person again. :(

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The Crown Is Forever (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 10: The Miracle Song)

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 04:00:56 GMT

In this episode, Bree and Susan fight over whose man killed Monique, Gaby falls for the dad of one of the little girls she coaches, and Lynette accidentally sets an angry mob on Art.

Summer and Christy talk Wicked, mostly.

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Susan vs. The Help (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep 9: Beautiful Girls)

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 23:58:53 GMT

(Sorry if it sounds like we're underwater at points we are working on it!!!) Plus we're EARLY this week instead of devastatingly late ;)

In this episode, Gaby teaches little girls how to become models, Lynette's suspicions of Art reach new heights, Susan makes an enemy of Ian's butler Rupert, and Bree tries to do what she thinks is in Gloria's best interests.

Summer and Christy talk Halloween 2024 and Miss Sabrina Carpenter, the World Series, and obviously WICKED!

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Gloria's Grand Theft Auto (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep8: Children and Art)

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 19:35:04 GMT

In this episode, Gaby goes back to modeling, Lynette tries to quell Parker's fears, Susan tries to discipline Julie, and Bree brings Orson's mother back into his life.

Summer and Christy discuss dog attacks, Paris, the Jonas Brothers, the Golden Girls, accidental theft, and more.

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The Multitalented People of Fairview (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep7: BANG)

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 18:34:16 GMT

Carolyn Bigsby officially loses it.

Summer and Christy discuss their perspectives on the mishaps of Summer's zany birthday party, annoying agents, having the spins, Z-O-M-B-I-E-S, and much more!

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A Page out of the Paul Young Playbook (Desperate Housewives; S3, Ep6: Sweetheart, I Have to Confess)

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 00:25:03 GMT

LIVE FROM NEW YORK!

The women get druuuuunk! Susan gets back together with Ian after seeing Mike snuggling up to Edie, Lynette and Tom have a fight over the pizza restaurant, Bree is being harassed by Carolyn Bisbee, and Gabby falls for one of Carlos schemes.

Summer and Christy talk birthday woes, terrible men, new phones, and more..

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Tom's Saucy Ambitions (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep5: Nice She Ain't)

Thu, 19 Sep 2024 03:20:58 GMT

In this episode, Lynette is dismayed to learn Tom's new dream is to open a pizzeria, Susan tries to jog Mike's memory and kidnaps him, Gaby and Carlos keep trying to one-up each other, and Bree disciplines Danielle who seeks constant attention.

Summer and Christy discuss free ice cream, spotted lantern flies, hot dog speakeasies and tiki bars, and more.

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Mike Wakes Up! (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep4: Like It Was)

Wed, 11 Sep 2024 03:20:19 GMT

In this episode, MIKE DELFINO WAKES UP FROM HIS COMA! Too bad Susan is in the mountains with Ian when it happens...Lynette struggles with Parker's lack of athleticism, Gaby tries to convince Carlos she doesn't love him anymore and that they won't get back together, and Bree learns a truth about Andrew that horrifies her, and then one about Danielle that also horrifies her.

Summer and Christy chat Summer's most desperate moment to date about an evil cheating man, wedding day fiascos, Christy's solo trip to the beach in Santa Barbara, and more.

For a visual, watch us on YouTube!

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Gabby's Predatory Divorcee Era (Desperate Housewives: S3, Ep3; A Weekend in the Country)

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 22:34:50 GMT

The girls are all going away! Gabby and Lynette go on a spa trip that takes some unexpected turns, Susan and Ian go to the mountains, and Bree cancels her honeymoon to go find Andrew. Meanwhile on the lane, sparks are flying with Julie and Austin and Mike wakes up!!

Christy and Summer talk public transportation struggles and how fun it is to be a girl.

A lot of Patreon content coming so be sure to subscribe now!!!

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Bree's Wildin' Weddin' (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep2: It Takes Two)

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 02:31:37 GMT

In this episode, Bree is getting married to Orson (to the girls' chagrin), Lynette tries to pair Nora up with literally any man at all, Gaby and Carlos's divorce gets underway, and Susan goes on a mess of a date with Ian.

Christy and an inebriated Summer talk blasts from the past, run-ins with modern-day crooners, the sweet scent of cat food, and more.

Talking about DHW starts at 19:50.

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J.R. and the Comatic Wife (Desperate Housewives, S3, Ep1: Listen to the Rain on the Roof)

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 04:12:18 GMT

FINALLY. SEASON 3 IS UPON US.

In this episode, Bree gets engaged to Orson, Susan tends to Mike in the hospital, Lynette deals with crazy Nora, and Gaby becomes an indentured servant to Xiao Mei.

Summer and Christy have LOTS to discuss, including even more airport debacles, awkward celebrity encounters, the Disney Legends ceremony and iconic imagineers, and the art of winking.

Talking about the DHW episode begins around 37:00.

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The Laws of Teeth (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep24: Remember Pt. 2)

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 05:13:47 GMT

WE MET MARCIA CROSS AGAIN!!!

In this episode, Bree makes a desperate escape from the psych ward, Gaby finds out about Carlos and Xiao Mei, Susan LOVES Mike, and Lynette is forced to meet the mother of Tom's first child.

Summer and Christy discuss TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, multiple airport debacles, running into favorite celebrities on the streets of Los Angeles, and MEETING MARCIA CROSS for the second time at her play, "The Substance of Fire" in Santa Monica!!!

Fun (potentially dangerous) drinking game: Take a shot every time Summer says "yeah..."

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The Tell-Tale Flashback (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep23: Remember Pt. 1)

Sat, 27 Jul 2024 03:01:30 GMT

In this episode, we get lots of flashbacks to when Mary Alice met each of the Housewives!

Bree is still in the psych ward, Lynette takes her kids to a seedy motel, Susan moves herself and her daughter into a disgusting RV, and Gaby worries for Carlos's fate. Plus, we learn the truth behind the Applewhites' checkered past.

Summer and Christy discuss CRAZY WEEKS, cat birthdays, and Paris. And impromptu phone calls to small businesses!

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Bree's Balloon Hullabaloo (Desperate Housewives, Season 2, Ep 22: No One Is Alone)

Wed, 17 Jul 2024 03:30:58 GMT

In this episode, Lynette follows Tom to Atlantic City to spy on him, Susan tries to get Edie to admit her crime, Gaby struggles with Xiao Mei's pregnancy, and Bree has a nervous breakdown despite her best intentions.

Summer and Christy talk spontaneous drinks with Brits, Jack-in-the-Box, Lost, mysterious flulike symptoms, FRIENDSHIP, and more.

MERCH (we made some cute phone cases)

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Edie Watches the World Burn (Desperate Housewives: S2, Ep 21: I Know Things Now)

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 20:50:18 GMT

Hi guys!

Sorry for the tech issues and late uploads - its been a battle, but back in LA so should be back on schedule!

Christy and Summer talk celeb sightings and passport issues. Susan's secret about Carl gets revealed, Gabby forces Xiao Mei to be a surrogate, Bree loses it with Andrew, and Lynette does everything to try to keep Tom's job.

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Drug Deals at the Donuttery (Desperate Housewives: S2, Ep 20: It Wasn't Meant to Happen)

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 02:33:16 GMT

Gabby has baby mama drama, Susan hides her affair, Bree gets her sponsor's sponsor thrown in jail, and Lynette sexts her boss' wife.

Chrisy and Summer talk High school reunion, killing roaches (again...?) and a lot of other stuff.

So sorry this was late!!! So many tech issues, once again. :(

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The Libtard Chronicles and the Return of Courthouse Carlos (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep19: Don't Look At Me)

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 04:18:08 GMT

In this episode, Lynette's son wants to know about the birds and the bees, Gaby pawns off her brand new baby on Xiao Mei, Bree and Andrew are forced to work things out as a family, and Susan questions her feelings for Karl and introduces us to ORSON HODGE!!!

Christy and Summer talk trying times at Jax's Studio City, forgotten keys, vampire lore and spray and more.

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MERCH

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The Good Silence (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep18: Everybody Says Don't)

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 04:00:59 GMT

In this episode, Bree pursues her AA sponsor while Lynette prepares a deposition in the Van De Kamp emancipation case, Gaby and Carlos learn that the baby they want to adopt has a father, and Susan and Karl are caught red-handed by Edie.

Summer and Christy talk wedding day mishaps, not-so-stranger danger, and pitching another future show starring Dr. Ron.

MERCH (check out our Predatory Divorcee hats)

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SURRENDERING ANDREW (Desperate Housewives: S2, Ep 17: Could I Leave You)

Sat, 01 Jun 2024 06:27:40 GMT

Gabby and Carlos are courting a woman for her baby, Lynette is judging another mother in the office, Bree is blacking out at a department store in the middle of the day, and Susan has 3 men fighting over her.

Christy and Summer talk the Mets, Memorial Day weekend, a new business proposal, and go on a lot of tangents this ep.

SOCIALS: @Wearegoingtotell come say hi!!!

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Love Notes and Trust Funds and Babies, Oh My (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep16: There Is No Other Way)

Wed, 22 May 2024 04:51:18 GMT

In this episode, Susan gets her splenectomy and a crazy love note from Dr. Ron, Gaby and Carlos try to adopt a baby, Bree refuses to buy her entitled son a car, and Lynette deals with Tom feeling emasculated AGAIN.

Summer and Christy discuss the latest Wicked trailer, the fully conscious baby, TV recaps and flashbacks, Osama, and more.

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The Secret Meeting Trellis (NO Vacancy) or, It's the Antihistamines (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep15: Thank You So Much)

Fri, 17 May 2024 18:08:04 GMT

In this episode, Susan and Karl agree to commit insurance fraud, Gaby's mom offers to be a surrogate for her and Carlos, Lynette has babysitter issues and pawns her kids off on alcoholic Bree.

Summer and Christy discuss international travel, the Sherman Oaks middle school fair, small men, and much more!

Pardon any background construction noise in Los Angeles County.

Apologies if we repeat ourselves or jokes at all! We had massive technical difficulties!

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THE TORTURED HOUSEWIVES DEPARTMENT (Desperate Housewives: S2, Ep, 14: Silly People)

Wed, 01 May 2024 01:41:05 GMT

We're back!!! sorry for missing a week - blame Summer's illness.

Bree investigates the Applewhites, Lynette deals with obnoxious male office antics, Susan commits insurance fraud, and Gabby rescues a slave.

Christy and Summer talk airline anxiety, TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, Bobs Big Boy after hours, and a lot of other stuff.

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The Cheese Is Evil, or Coming Home (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep13: There's Something About War)

Wed, 17 Apr 2024 19:16:06 GMT

In this episode, Susan is hesitant to let Dr. Ron perform her splenectomy, Gaby is threatened by Carlos with an annulment, Bree deals with Danielle and Matthew's blooming relationship, and Lynette deals with a wishy-washy Tom who suddenly wants to work again.

Summer and Christy talk passport crises, getting locked out, surgery, Jojo Siwa and baby agelessness. And also the thing where you hang flowers that we don't know the name of.

Follow us on Tiktok and Instagram @wearegoingtotell - DM us your Dirty Laundry to read anonymously on our bonus episodes!

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WE TALKED TO STU! (Interview with Charlie Babcock, Stu of Stu's Place)

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 01:56:59 GMT

We were so delighted to chat with the lovely Charlie Babcock who played Stu on season 2!!!

The three of us discuss car repairs, freak earthquakes, DoorDash dramas, and the lore of Stu.

Contains minor spoilers around the 31:50 to 34 minute mark.

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Romancing Dr. Ron (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep12: We're Gonna Be Alright)

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 15:54:36 GMT

In this episode, Gaby pressures Carlos to beat up a sleazy photographer, Susan goes to absurd lengths to get a date with a hot doctor, Bree gets arrested, and Lynette wants Tom to face his worst fear.

Summer and Christy talk comedic funerals, getting wine drunk, vasectomies, and bedside manner.

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It Takes Three to Tom Tango (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep11: One More Kiss)

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 16:29:25 GMT

In this episode, Gaby and Lynette fight over a kiss, Bree gets blackmailed by Andrew, and Susan forgets everything Zach did to her and tries to help connect Zach and Mike.

Summer and Christy discuss unpaid work in Hollywood, drunken Disneyland antics, wishing Vecna a happy birthday, and much more.

MERCH

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WE'RE GOING TO HELL (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep10: Coming Home)

Thu, 21 Mar 2024 04:14:46 GMT

In this episode, Gaby fights with a nun over Carlos, Lynette tries to get daycare greenlit at the office formerly known as Stu's Place, Gaby tries to force her father to reconnect with her, and Bree deals with the aftermath of George's suicide.

Summer and Christy discuss the etymology of the word penmanship, the "Quiet on the Set" Nickelodeon documentary, and rain on the Lane.

MERCH!!!!

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Pat's Place and the Little Blue Bike of Retribution (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep9: "That's Good, That's Bad")

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 04:48:12 GMT

Susan uses brute force to reconnect with her dad, Gaby gets jealous of Carlos's friendship with a nun as a byproduct of his newfound interest in religion, Bree FINALLY realizes George is an evil psychopath who attempted to murder her therapist, and Lynette inadvertently flips the office upside-down!

In this episode, Summer and Christy talk TV "economics," Ariana Grande, early 2000s games, and then they compose the Stu's Place theme song on-the-fly.

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Stu of Stu's Place is Tazed and Confused (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep7: The Sun Won't Set

Wed, 06 Mar 2024 22:47:47 GMT

This episode is.... chaotic.

Susan learns a family secret at her mother's wedding, Bree finally dumps George, Gabby handles her grief with one of Carlos' prison friends, and Lynette teaches her twins about street safety.

Summer and Christy talk ASL auditions, being working girls, and IRL neighborhood watch drama.

@wearegoingtotell

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THE SHOCKING DISCOVERY OF THE MCU! (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep7: Color and Light)

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 17:20:52 GMT

In this episode, Susan and Karl rekindle their relationship, Gaby tries to squeeze into a tiny dress while pregnant, Lynette meets a fellow mother with terrible twins of her own, and Bree gets engaged to a clinical psychopath.

Summer and Christy talk full-time jobs, the Spice Girls, nighttime in Los Angeles, the "MCU" and more.

Coming to Patreon: Christy's public Twitter beef with Liam Payne of 1 Direction fame

Vote for your favorite MCU spinoff on our instagram!

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PAUL YOUNG RETURNS! (Desperate Housewives, S2, EP6: I Wish I Could Forget You)

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 21:45:05 GMT

In this episode, Paul Young returns to the Lane, much to the chagrin of Susan; Bree attempts a romantic getaway with George; Lynette buys a new suit; and Gaby deals with drama between her husband and Lawyer David.

Summer and Christy talk the WICKED trailer, weddings, California rain, Reba McIntyre, Beyonce, and more!

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Susan Did A Bad Thing! (Desperate Housewives, S2 Ep5: They Ask Me Why I Believe In You)

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 22:03:53 GMT

Lynette is forced to go drinking nightly with her concupiscent boss, Gaby runs into trouble when Carlos doesn't want David Bradley as his attorney, Susan wants to remain loyal to her booking agent despite his embezzlement scandal, and Bree learns, to her horror, that Rex thought she poisoned him-- and makes him posthumously pay for it!

Christy educates Summer on the automobile industry and they talk Ben Savage's congressional campaign, long walks, and more!

Merch is HERE!

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Get your VitaClean shower head filter using our code: WEAREGOINGTOTELL

We have good stuff on Patreon! Be sure to check it out!

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Fisticuffs at the Fairview Swim Club (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep4: My Heart Belongs to Daddy)

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 23:08:07 GMT

In this episode, Gaby wants a conjugal visit, Susan FINDS Zach, Lynette struggles with Parker's imaginary friend Mrs. Mulberry, and Bree is essentially oblivious to the insane beef between Andrew and George.

Summer and Christy talk successfully sneaking into events, new jobs, and their short-lived book club.

MERCH is available HERE!

Use code WEAREGOINGTOTELL on your next VitaClean purchase!

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The Battle Hymn of Susan and Edie (Desperate Housewives, S2, Ep 3: You'll Never Get Away From Me)

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 05:00:37 GMT

In this episode, Bree becomes the subject of an investigation, Susan is the green-eyed monster when Julie tries to do a church talent show with Edie, Lynette is a working woman (to her son's chagrin), and Gaby comes to a startling (disappointing) realization regarding John.

Summer and Christy discuss bad gen Alpha kids and ghost scrolling, the legendary Vermont belly dancing chicken, the cultural and personal impact of 30 Rock, and more.

FUTURE SPOILERS around the 51 minute mark for a few seconds!!!

Really Good Stuff coming to the Patreon! So far you can catch us playing the Desperate Housewives board game from 2005, and our FULL episode with Cody Kasch!

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We're Going To Sing playlist

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The Rat and the Grieving Mother in Law (Desperate Housewives: S2, Ep2: You Could Drive A Person Crazy)

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 08:00:51 GMT

Christy and Summer once again talk annoying kids and seeing the Jonas Brothers. Nothing new there,

Bree is in a grieving standoff with Phyllis, Carlos gets beat up by an inmate, Tom is dirty, and Susan continues to self sabotage.

FIRST MERCH DROP!!!

https://were-going-to-tell.printify.me/

and PATREON IS LIVE!!

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

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Mike Delfino's Daddy Era (Desperate Housewives: S2, EP1: Next)

Wed, 17 Jan 2024 05:45:07 GMT

Summer and Christy are recording together again... sorry. They talk airport struggles, annoying people, shower filters, and family dramas.

Susan finds out Zach is really a Delfino, Bree reunites with her mother in law, Lynette is back on the job hunt, and Gabby photoshops her paternity test.

SUB THE PATREON!!! SUPER FUN CONTENT COMING

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THE SEASON FINALE featuring CODY KASCH! (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep23: One Wonderful Day)

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 05:00:48 GMT

SURPRISE 🫢

In this special episode, Summer and Christy sit down with Cody Kasch, who played Zach Young on Desperate Housewives!!! We had the most amazing time hearing about his time on the show, getting his thoughts on the characters, and much more!

Gaby testifies in court for(?) Carlos, Lynette is encouraged to go back to work while Tom decides to be a stay-at-home-dad, Susan is held hostage by Zach, Mike plans to kill Paul, Bree and Rex make amends with each other...and we finally learn THE TRUTH about Mary Alice and the whole Young family!

The FULL 2.5 hour version of this episode will be available on Patreon!

So much exciting stuff coming from Cody Kasch so be sure to check him out! Huge thanks to him for being our first guest.

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Carlos Go To Jail Challenge (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep22: Goodbye For Now)

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 05:00:19 GMT

Happy New Year, Desperate Housewives Superfans/Little Criminals! We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

In this episode, Felicia sends Paul Young away, Susan and Mike decide to move in together, Lynette tries to get Annabel moved to a different company, Gaby finds out Carlos is the one behind her birth control mishap, and Bree and Rex make a pact to be nice to each other.

Summer and Christy talk the common cold, illegal taxidermy at castles in the woods, justice for the extremely minor characters in this show, and getting pulled over.

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Zach Young's Long Nap (Desperate Housewives: S1, Ep21: Sunday in the Park with George)

Tue, 26 Dec 2023 05:00:12 GMT

Bree is having an emotional affair with Pharmacist George, Gabby tells John she might be pregnant with his baby, Lynette and Tom are not banging, and Susan hires a crooked PI and gets answers. Back at the Young residence, Paul tranquilizes Zach for the good of Wisteria Lane, and Felicia kidnaps him.

Summer and Christy discuss bad millennial parenting, losing your sparkle, the east coast leg of the karaoke tour, and bad New York City traffic.

Happy Holidays everyone!

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Paul Young's Daedalian Web of Lies (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep20: Fear No More)

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 05:00:38 GMT

Gaby is pregnant and angry, Lynette freaks out that Tom has re-employed his ex, Bree has secret friendship with her pharmacist, and Susan sticks her nose in Paul's business yet again.

In this extra long episode, Summer and Christy discuss public displays of holiday cheer, airport debacles and the dangers of espresso martinis, delayed reactions, and much, much more.

Episode recap starts around the 40 minute mark~

Merch coming January 1st!!!

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BREAKING NEWS: The Felicity Huffman Interview (A Belated Recap)

Wed, 13 Dec 2023 19:36:48 GMT

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨

Better late than never! Felicity Huffman has broken her silence regarding the college admissions scandal of 2019, and we weigh in.

"Breaking News" music/sound effect by Nathaniel's Music and Vlog: https://www.youtube.com/@nathanielsmusicandvlog

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Rex Van De Kamp is an ALLY? (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep19: Live Alone and Like It)

Wed, 06 Dec 2023 05:00:13 GMT

Hey, Desperate Housewives Superfans/Little Criminals!

In this episode: Lynette continues to discriminate against the elderly, homophobic Bree begs her son to convert to heterosexuality, Susan is forced on an awful double date with her mother, and Gaby finds creative ways to shop after Carlos cuts up her credit cards.

Summer and Christy discuss misadventures at Universal studios, the perils of marrying rich, the etymology of the name Wendy and Lohanthony.

We don't sing "you're just a boy" in this episode

MERCH IS COMING!

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CARLOS SUCKS!! (Desperate Housewives, S1: Ep 18: Children Will Listen)

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 08:00:07 GMT

Kids are all the rage this episode. Carlos forces Gabby to sign a prenup and has been messing with her birth control, Lynette's kids get spanked, Bree visits Camp Hennessy, and Susan's mom comes to town.

Christy and Summer talk CPK, being bicoastal, cottage cheese trauma, and bringing back the NO H8 campaign.

@wearegoingtotell

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Mama Solis Wakes Up! (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep17: There Won't Be Trumpets)

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

After Mama Solis dies, Gaby urges Carlos to be more responsible with his spending and go to jail. Meanwhile, Bree and Rex send their problem child away, Lynette meddles in the life of a Deaf woman, Susan gets a mysterious letter from Mike and takes another blue-collar lover.

Summer and Christy predict Edie's birth chart and discuss rude neighbors, Latin traditions, human stupidity at Smuggler's Run, and going to your friend's bad comedy show.

Follow Mrs. Claus on tiktok @realmrsclaus!

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The Scandal of Maisy Gibbons (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep16: The Ladies Who Lunch)

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 05:00:58 GMT

THE STRIKE IS OVER!!!

Sad Sack Susan and Edie surreptitiously search Paul's home, Bree tries to get Maisy Gibbons to remove Rex's name from her little black book, Gaby and Carlos have no indoor plumbing, and Lynette worries when her twin sons face lice allegations.

Christy and Summer talk wifi trouble, physical comedy, and their short stint as court jesters.

Instagram: @wearegoingtotell

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Andrew Van De Kamp is NOT Gay! (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep15: Impossible)

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 23:50:27 GMT

Lynette sabotages Tom's promotion, Bree asks John Rowland to destroy Danielle's fragile heart, Susan gets Mike arrested and learns of his checkered past, and Gaby is propositioned by a gay teenager.

Christy and Summer discuss things to do (or not) in Los Angeles, the great state of Utah, manifesting money, and much more!

This episode is dedicated to Matthew Perry. Rest in Peace.

Tiktok: @wearegoingtotellpod

Instagram: @wearegoingtotell

We are in full support of the SAG-AFTRA strike and have been watching on DVDs. For more info go to sagaftra.org.

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GET OUTTA MY HOUSE! (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep14: Love is in the Air)

Wed, 01 Nov 2023 01:26:04 GMT

Happy Anniversary Wicked!

Bree learns of Rex's twisted fantasies, Gaby impulsively gets a JOB!, Lynette feuds with Mrs. McCluskey over the little criminals, and Susan panics over hypothetical future children.

Christy and Summer discuss cockroach disposal techniques, Halloween Horror Nights, having the spins, and of course, casting of Wicked the Musical using the Desperate Housewives characters.

Instagram: @wearegoingtotell

We are in full support of the SAG-AFTRA strike and have been watching on DVDs. For more info go to sagaftra.org.

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George's Lethal Mix (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep13: Your Fault)

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 17:18:50 GMT

Bree moves forward with her divorce, Lynette has a misogynistic father in law, Gabby almost becomes Mrs. Solis Rowland, and Susan hates Zach Young but loves Paul.

Christy and Summer talk Wicked (the usual), Disney 100 celebration, insomnia, and the autumnal equinox.

Instagram: @wearegoingtotell

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RANSACKED! (Desperate Housewives: S1, Ep12: Every Day a Little Death)

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 04:00:02 GMT

Hey everyone. Before we start this episode, we just wanted to say we know this is a very difficult time right now and we hold space for all those affected by the recent global tragedies and hope to provide a positive space for you all.

The fate of Martha Huber is revealed to Fairview. Susan reluctantly (and guiltily) accompanies Edie to spread Mrs. Huber's ashes, Bree avoids any form of intimacy with George to his creepy chagrin, Lynette fakes her kid having cancer to get into yoga class, and Gaby DOESN'T WANT A BABY.

Summer and Christy keep missing each other's references as they talk Kristin Chenoweth, Major League Baseball player birthday parties, neighborhoods in New Jersey, and the importance of lying.

Instagram: @wearegoingtotell

We are in full support of the SAG-AFTRA strike and have been watching on DVDs. For more info go to sagaftra.org.

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Mike Loves Susan!!! (Desperate Housewives: S1, Ep11: Move On)

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 07:00:52 GMT

WE'RE BACK, BABES!!!

Wisteria Lane is finally searching for Martha Huber along with.... Felicia Tillman. Susan has a night out with Mike and Carl, Gabby gets a job, Lynette is threatened by her nanny, and Bree wants Rex dead.

Summer and Christy recount Christy's trip to Australia and what a Kangaroo looks like, and Summer's underwater birthday party.

Instagram: @wearegoingtotell

We are in full support of the SAG AFTRA strike and have been watching on DVDs. For more info go to sagaftra.org

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Rex Van De Kamp is a VIRGO? (Desperate Housewives, S1, EP10: Come Back to Me)

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Lynette can't give up a modicum of control to Nanny Claire, Gaby scrambles to hide all of her personal possessions for fear of having her assets seized, Susan finds out Julie is harboring a fugitive, and Bree discovers that Rex has been having Maisy Gibbons fulfill his "needs."

Summer and Christy discuss the Jonas Brothers (surprise, surprise), inconvenient carrot-hunting, accidental jump scares, and more.

Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/129709223548750

We are in full support of the SAG-AFTRA strike and have been rewatching on DVDs. For more information go to: sagafrastrike.org.

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Dressed to Maul (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep9: Suspicious Minds)

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 04:00:15 GMT

The Wisteria Lane charity fashion show is a huge deal. Gaby's affair gets exposed, Susan finds a way to make it about herself, Bree gets Andrew kicked off the swim team, and Lynette poaches a nanny.

Christy and Summer discuss friendship bracelets, upcoming DWAB merch, and an exclusive performance that definitely has nothing to do with Wicked.

Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/129709223548750

We are in full support of the SAG AFTRA strike and have been rewatching on DVDs. For more information go to: sagafrastrike.org

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Good Riddance Miss Martha! (Desperate Housewives, S1, EP8: Guilty)

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 05:41:26 GMT

Bree is covering up Andrew's hit and run, Lynette is having a nervous breakdown, Susan is in Mike's walls, and Gabby is still covering up the affair.. also Paul Young finally gets rid of that pesky Martha Huber.

Christy and Summer talk about their time at Saddleranch in Weho and riding the bull, Beyonce, Doja cat, and more!!

instagram: @wearegoingtotell

Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/129709223548750

We are in full support of the SAG AFTRA strike and have been rewatching on DVDs. For more information go to: sagafrastrike.org

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Hit Me With Your Best CAR (Desperate Housewives: S1, Ep7: Anything You Can Do)

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 23:03:11 GMT

ICONIC EPISODE ALERT! Summer and Christy are reunited again recording in LA. They talk about meeting Jesse Metcalfe and Disneyland drama.

Susan and Edie stalk Mike to Saddleranch, Gabby and John have their last hurrah, Lynnette is a pill junkie, and the Van De Kamp secret begins.

Instagram @Wearegoingtotell

Join us in our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/129709223548750/

We are in full support of the SAG AFTRA strike and have been watching on DVDs. For more info go to: sagaftra.org.

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The Genesis of Maisy Gibbons (Desperate Housewives: S1, Ep 6: Running to Stand Still)

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 07:00:12 GMT

WE MET MARCIA CROSS!!! Hear all about our little adventure off of the great white way, Summer's improv show, and Christy's Jonas Brothers extravaganza.

Gaby feeds her mother in law's gambling addiction, Lynette turns the PTA into a democracy, Susan goes on a stakeout, and Rex continues to disrespect Bree.

TIKTOK: @Wearegoingtotellpod

We are in full support of the SAG AFTRA strike and have been rewatching on DVDs. Please go to sagaftra.org for more information.

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Sister Wives of Wisteria Lane (Desperate Housewives: S1, Ep5: Come in, Stranger)

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 17:22:13 GMT

Christy and Summer are recording in person for the first time and CHAOS ENSUES. Wisteria Lane has had a break in (spoiler: So did Christy) Lynette is trying to get her kids into private school, Bree is befriending creepy Zach, Gabby's affair is about to be uncovered by her mother in law, and Susan goes out with a cop.

We are in full support of the SAG AFTRA strike and have been rewatching on DVDs. For more info go to: sagaftrastrike.org

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Martha Huber is Enemy #1 (Desperate Housewives S1, Ep4: Who's That Woman?)

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 07:00:48 GMT

Carlos starts to catch on to Gabby's illicit affairs, Martha Huber is blackmailing Susan, Lynette still can't catch a break, and Bree's kids are idiots. Christy and Summer give their best Australian accents for no reason, discuss the biggest Wisteria Lane gaslighter, and Martha Huber being Mince meat.

We are in support the SAG-AFTRA strike and have been rewatching on DVDs. For more info go to:

https://www.sagaftrastrike.org/

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Bree's PERFECT Dinner Party (Desperate Housewives, S1, Ep3: Pretty Little Picture)

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 07:00:37 GMT

The Women of Wisteria Lane are having a dinner party and its.... something. Christy and Summer discuss Mike Delfino, Zach Young being a creep, time traveling, Tom and Lynette's wild ride, Sex in the City crack fic and MORE!

Tiktok: @Wearegoingtotellpod

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Rex Van De Kamp is a FEMINIST? (Desperate Housewives S1, Ep2: Ah, But Underneath)

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 00:22:27 GMT

Christy and Summer discuss Season 1 Episode 2 Ah, But Underneath. Susan pursues Mike, Bree and Rex go to therapy, Gabby hides her affair, and Lynette still has terrible children. They discuss Women in Stem, Barbie's potential impact and which husband is the most feminist.

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The Death of Mary Alice (Desperate Housewives S1, Ep1)

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 06:04:21 GMT

Christy and Summer cackle their way through the groundbreaking pilot of Desperate Housewives. Their thoughts on their housewife sun moon and risings, Tom Scavo's breeding kink, Saddleranch Chop House, Posthumous fat shaming, and more.

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