WTF is AuDHD?

E57 | From Britney to Billie: Neurodivergence in the spotlight

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 15:30:00 GMT

Content warning: this episode touches on assault, trauma and manipulation. Listen with care.

Disclaimer: this was recorded before Britney Spears' arrest on March 5th.

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD?, Ellie and Paige dive into a candid conversation about how the world - and the systems around us - often fail neurodivergent people.

Observing the experiences of celebrities like Britney Spears, Billie Eilish, Lewis Capaldi, and Demi Lovato, we lightly explore how fame can amplify the challenges of living with ADHD, autism, or AuDHD - especially when diagnosis comes late or is misunderstood.

From public “meltdowns” to media scrutiny, the conversation looks at what might actually be happening beneath the surface: rejection sensitivity, burnout, trauma, and the pressure of living in a world not built for neurodivergent brains. And how the systems fail us entirely, leading to isolation and reckless behaviour.

Ellie shares her long‑standing fascination with famous child stars and why so many of them seem to struggle, plus she shares her own experiences of being in the spotlight as an undiagnosed AuDHDer. Paige shares her experiences of feeling used, abused and discarded once she expressed what she needed - and the ongoing trauma that comes with that.

This episode explores:

Why so many famous people appear to be neurodivergent
The link between creativity, success, and ADHD/autism
How fame can intensify rejection sensitivity and burnout
Why women are so often misdiagnosed
And why empathy matters when we see someone struggling in the public eye

As always, this conversation is honest, curious, and unfiltered - and based on our personal opinions and analysis.

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E56 | AuDHD needs a new name

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 15:30:00 GMT

This week’s episode is a raw, unfiltered check-in where Ellie and Paige sit down (slightly lower in energy than usual), to talk honestly about how they're feeling - burnout, survival mode, and what can happen when your nervous system has been holding it together for too long. We talk financial stress under capitalism, sensory overload, relief instead of achievement and why the world feels especially heavy right now for neurodivergent people.

We also discuss a listener post from our Reddit (and no, the Reddit isn't fixed sorry), about whether AuDHD is a good name for the neurotype of meeting criteria for both autism and ADHD.

Note: Ellie's audio goes funny around 27 mins due to an accidental mute... woops! We have cut a segment out regarding medication that we will re-record for a future episode.

Book a chat with Ellie ellieonthetelly.com

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E55 | Why knowing what to do isn't enough for ADHD brains

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we kick things off with a real-life catch-up - burnout, taking back your power, and why stories like figure skater Alysa Liu (Olympic Gold Medalist) matter so much when it comes to ADHD and redefining success. We also get into another cracking poll about how you eat your meals - riveting content, we know! Plus Ellie shares something she’s been grappling with this week and what she wishes she’d known earlier.

In the second half, we’re joined by ADHD coach Marium to unpack what ADHD coaching actually looks like in practice. We talk about common goals ADHDers bring to coaching, why execution is often harder than knowing what to do, and how mindset and systems work together. Marium shares powerful strategies for task initiation, increasing interest levels, and getting unstuck without shame.

We also cover what to look for in a qualified ADHD coach, how often coaching is most effective, and why you don’t have to do this alone.

Contact Marium adhd-empowered.com

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E54 | WTF is ADHD coaching?

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 15:30:00 GMT

This episode is split into two parts - the first part is banter between Paige and Ellie. We chat about recent hacks and learnings we've had, we discuss the differences we're noticing in our biometrics (recorded by our Oura rings) and we also clarify why you may not have been let into our Reddit yet...

Then we learn - WTF is ADHD coaching? And how is it different from therapy or life coaching? We’re joined by ADHD coach Marium (from ADHD Empowered), who shares how she moved from corporate life and international teaching into specialised ADHD coaching after seeing how misunderstood and unsupported neurodivergent people often are.

We unpack:

Who ADHD coaching is for (from teens to late-diagnosed adults)
How to know if you’re “ready” for coaching
The key differences between ADHD coaching, therapy, and traditional life coaching
How coaches help clients who know what to do but can’t execute
Addressing shame, grief, and the belief that you’re “broken”

Marium explains why ADHD coaching focuses on the “what” and “how” rather than the “why,” how understanding your brain can be life-changing, and why strengthening executive function matters more than visualising success.

Next week, we'll play out the other half of our chat where Marium provides practical advice and some reassuring words for our fellow ADHDers.

Contact Marium if you're interested in ADHD coaching HERE.

Book a session with Ellie at ellieonthetelly.com

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E53 | When perimenopause and autistic burnout collide - with AuDHDer Jen

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 15:30:00 GMT

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicidal thoughts, emotional manipulation / boundaries and trauma. Please listen with care.

In part two of our conversation with Jen, we go deeper into the cost of living in survival mode for almost five decades - and what happens when the body and brain can no longer keep up.

Jen shares how perimenopause intersected with her AuDHD and long-term burnout, amplifying symptoms and stripping away coping mechanisms that had held her together for years. We unpack early warning signs of burnout and perimenopause that are often missed or misattributed, particularly in late-diagnosed neurodivergent women.

We talk about delayed processing and how it has impacted Jen’s relationships, safety, and sense of self — including how manipulation and abuse can go unnoticed until the nervous system finally has space to process what happened. Jen reflects on how pursuing a PhD exposed both her strengths and her limits, and the profound toll this took on her mental health.

This episode is an honest, vulnerable conversation about collapse, grief, and the necessity of radically changing your life when survival is no longer sustainable. It’s for anyone who feels like they’ve been “coping” for decades - and are only now realising the cost.

FOLLOW @autistic_connections (Jen)

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E52 | Misdiagnosis in your 20s to late diagnosis in your 40s - with AuDHDer Jen

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 15:30:00 GMT

In part one of our conversation with Jen @autistic_connections, we get chatting about the reality of being a late diagnosed AuDHD women, who also hit burnout in conjunction with perimenopause (poor Jen!).

Jen shares her journey to diagnosis, how she was completely missed as a child, and then given incorrect diagnoses throughout her 20s, and the juxtaposition of being 'smart' but feeling 'dumb'. Jen talks about struggling with “basic” daily tasks, yet being capable of getting First Class Honours at University, before her nervous system hit breaking point, and how autistic burnout was the catalyst for diagnosis.

We talk about what it’s like to be a deeply empathetic person who sometimes struggles with connection, and we explore the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, and how misunderstanding empathy in autistic people causes harm.

Jen also opens up about the grounding, regulating role her two dogs play in her life - each meeting different emotional needs.

In next week's episode, Jen covers early signs of her neurodivergent tendencies, how autistic burnout and perimenopause interact with each other, why she had to leave her pHD and how she's coping with life now that she has more answers.

Follow Jen on Instagram @autistic_connections

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E51 | Decision paralysis and why AuDHDers lose their gut instinct

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we unpack decision fatigue and decision paralysis - why even simple choices can feel overwhelming for AuDHD brains. We explore how years of masking disconnect us from our instincts, leaving us frozen, second-guessing everything, and afraid to choose “wrong.” We share how paralysis has shown up in our own lives, and what’s actually helped. Paige also walks through her framework for rebuilding your life from the ground up when everything feels too hard to start.

Book a 1:1 session with Ellie! ellieonthetelly.com - introductory rate of $30USD valid until Jan 31 2026.

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E50 - We’re back! And we have thoughts on Autistic Barbie

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 15:30:00 GMT

We’re back for 2026! And we're starting off with an AuDHD debrief - funny holiday stories and what Ellie and Paige would do differently next holiday season. We also look ahead to what’s coming this year for WTF is AuDHD? - what we’re excited about, what we’re learning, and how we want to keep growing alongside this community.

Plus, we dive into a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about Autistic Barbie - including your listener contributions. We discuss what it gets right, what feels complicated, and why seeing neurodivergent experiences reflected can be powerful. This also leads to a wider discussion on why representation matters so deeply - for everyone.

Join us a for an easy, casual, welcome-back chat!

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E49 | Making sense of AuDHD through language - with Sarah @neurodialectical

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Sarah (social worker, ADHD, OCD, PMDD and autistic) is back for more! In this episode we shift into language, identity, and the inner world of neurodivergence. Sarah reflects on her childhood as an undiagnosed AuDHDer, the anxiety that masked her ADHD, and elaborates on the different ways boys vs girls are treated.

We explore dialectical thinking - the simple but powerful practice of using “and” instead of “but” - and why it’s especially transformative for neurodivergent people whose needs often conflict. Sarah also shares how her lived experience shapes her work in perinatal social work, and why finding community and personal joy isn’t really optional for neurodivergent people - it’s survival.

Thanks for joining us this year! We really appreciate you. We'll be back Jan 20.

Follow Sarah @neurodialectical

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E48 | Parenting a neurodivergent kid as a neurodivergent parent - with Sarah @neurodialectical

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 15:30:00 GMT

We're super excited to be joined by neurodivergent parent and social worker Sarah (@neurodialectical on Instagram), who shares how becoming a parent was the catalyst for her diagnoses - including autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and PMDD.

We talk candidly about the sensory reality of parenting when your needs directly clash with your child’s, the rage and grief no one prepares you for, and why planning life around hormonal cycles can be helpful (if you can). Sarah also shares how she’s unlearning traditional parenting norms, prioritising autonomy over compliance, and raising her son in ways that protect his nervous system - even when it looks "unconventional".

Sarah is super honest, raw and validating for any neurodivergent parent who’s ever felt overwhelmed, ashamed, or like they’re doing it “wrong.”

Follow Sarah @neurodialectical

LINKTREE - join our Reddit, Discord and express interest in 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026

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E47 | Sleep debt & the AuDHD exhaustion cycle

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode, Ellie's running on lack of sleep thanks to the Formula One race overnight, so we're chatting about sleep! We dig into why sleep is such a challenge for neurodivergent brains - from revenge bedtime procrastination to sensory overload to busy brains and chronic sleep debt. We share our own experiences and how lack of rest affects everything from emotion regulation to basic functioning.

Join our Discord and Reddit! Links in our Linktree

Interested in a 1:1 session with Ellie in 2026? Register your interest ellieonthetelly.com

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E46 | Lacking boundaries, people pleasing and their links to neurodivergence

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care.

In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually feeling? And why does setting even the smallest boundary feel like we’re letting someone down?

We chat about the link between neurodivergence and people pleasing, how RSD, masking and social survival instincts shape our boundaries (or lack thereof) and we candidly discuss how we're personally going with improving our boundaries.

Want a 1:1 mentoring chat with Ellie? Express your interest here: ellieonthetelly.com

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E45 | Why neurodivergent brains need movement and why we avoid it - with Bayley Garnham (Dyspraxic)

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 15:30:00 GMT

This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training.

We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how PTs can better support neurodivergent clients. Bayley also breaks down how he trains people with compassion, flexibility and zero shame.

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by exercise, disconnected from your body, or you're unsure where to begin, this episode might be for you!

Follow Bayley on Instagram (@bayleygarnham) or get in touch via email bayleygarnham@gmail.com

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E44 | Why so many AuDHDers become perfectionists

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out.

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E43 | The curse of Object Permanence: if I can't see you, it's like you don't exist

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 15:30:00 GMT

It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it.

Vote for us for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast awards (if you want) HERE

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E42 | Friendship, rejection, loneliness and how our dogs have saved us

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 15:30:00 GMT

For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and have also helped with our general motivation!

Vote for us at the NZ Podcast Awards for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.

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E41 | Why do I find holidaying so stressful? Travelling with AuDHD

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful and also reflect on some recent listener Reddit posts about perimenopause.

VOTE FOR US (if you want) at the NZ PODCAST AWARDS for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.

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E40 | Do I really have ADHD? Diagnosis imposter syndrome - with Bree Tomasel

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 15:45:00 GMT

What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her.

Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our podcast for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast Awards, you can do that here.

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E39 | Anxiety, imposter syndrome and living three different lives - with Bree Tomasel

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 15:30:00 GMT

The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in hindsight. We talk about imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and how Bree channels her ADHD energy into sport and humour. Plus, Bree will be back next week for another chat where we debrief on life after diagnosis, self-acceptance, and what’s changed since learning she’s neurodivergent.

Follow Bree: Instagram

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E38 | The ADHD need for external feedback and why we're so hard on ourselves

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answer some more of your listener questions.

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E37 | Life as a late diagnosed neurodivergent couple

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their lives. It’s a candid and vulnerable look at what it means for Ellie and Sam to love and live as an ND couple, in the hopes of helping others feel seen when it comes to the trials and tribulations of finding love and a partnership.

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E36 | Meet Ellie's late diagnosed ADHD partner, Sam!

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young social media star, why it helped him process his emotions pre-diagnosis and he opens up about struggling with emotional regulation.

Next week we’ll chat with Sam again, and dive into what it’s like to navigate a relationship together as two neurodivergent people.

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E35 | Why autism screeners miss so many of us

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener (Autism Quotient) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and disuss why lived experience needs to be an important part of neurodevelopmental assessments.

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E34 | Take an ADHD screener with us

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 16:30:00 GMT

If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent years masking, you've got trauma or other diagnoses. There are so many limitations to these screeners, and we hope this episode gives you more confidence in your interpretation of them.

Here's the link to the screener we are referencing.

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E33 | Our (very) late diagnosed ADHD Dad shares his story

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Meet our ADHD Dad, Grant! He was born in the 60s - in a generation that barely knew anything about neurodivergence. Dad went through school, work, parenting, literally everything without a diagnosis until much later in life, and unfortunately his parents had passed away before he was diagnosed. In this episode, Grant shares what it’s like to piece together your story backwards, how late diagnosis changed the way he sees himself, what it's like getting ADHD coaching and we discuss the generational differences in awareness and stigma. He also reflects on some hilarious stories from his childhood (that now make sense after getting his diagnosis). We're really grateful for our Dad's vulnerabilty and the advice he shares from his own lived experience.

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E32 | PDA: Don't tell me what to do, I need autonomy!

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we explore Pathological Demand Avoidance (more compassionately known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - a profile most often linked with autism that goes far beyond being just being “stubborn.” We break down what PDA is, our understanding of it and how it's appeared in our life, and why everyday requests can feel overwhelming or even threatening - even if the demand is from within your own mind. We share personal stories of when demands have triggered resistance (sometimes without us even realising why), and unpack the differences between ADHD task resistance and PDA driven task resistance.

Again, please use this episode as a jump-off to do your own research!

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E31 | Could your gassy gut and sore tummy be related to AuDHD?

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and other gastrointestinal / autoimmune issues we've experienced, using hindsight to recognise it may have all been linked to our autism and ADHD (stress!). We start exploring the connection between the brain and the gut, including how our stomach microbiome impacts our brain. We dive into emerging research linking neurodivergence with physical health and common correlations. This episode isn’t medical advice, but more a conversation to spark curiosity. We encourage you to do your own research but we just wanted to remind you that you’re not the only one with a gassy gut!

Find the research article we reference HERE.

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E30 | Why everyday transitions are hard for AuDHDers

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Transitions can be some of the hardest moments for people with ADHD, autism, or both - even when we’re looking forward to what’s next. Paige and Ellie have had a few ephiphanies recently about how transitions have affected them throughout their life. In this episode, we explore why shifting from one activity, environment, or phase of life can feel so dysregulating, and how neurodivergent inertia plays into it. We unpack our own personal struggless and offer tips for supporting yourself and your kids through transitions.

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E29 | Dr Khurram Sadiq: Managing AuDHD, misdiagnosis & masking

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Dr Khurram Sadiq is back for part two where we dig into common misdiagnoses, masking, family dynamics, and how to truly identify AuDHD traits. We also touch on workplace accommodations, co-occurring conditions like OCD and PMDD, and how to manage burnout and executive dysfunction (especially when medication isn’t accessible or effective). Dr Sadiq offers grounded advice and hope to anyone navigating late diagnosis, uncertainty, or feeling "too much" for the world.

Win a signed copy of Dr Khurram Sadiq's new book - Explaining AuDHD! Head over to our Instagram @wtfisaudhdpodcast to enter.

Purchase your own copy here

Key moments:

1:50 – If one sibling is neurodivergent, does that mean the others are too? Genetics, family traits, and environment explained

3:50 – How undiagnosed neurodivergent parents can unknowingly impact their kids - and themselves

5:20 – When a child’s diagnosis leads to the parent’s lightbulb moment

6:34 – The most common misdiagnoses (and what clinicians often miss)

8:50 – Why all clinicians need better training to recognise neurodevelopmental conditions

11:12 – The biggest blind spots in current diagnostic practices - and how they affect adults especially

13:20 – How do you really know if you’re AuDHD - and not “just” ADHD or autistic?

18:34 – The link between OCD and neurodivergence: is it a separate condition or a secondary outcome?

21:06 – Why masking is subconscious - and how to begin unmasking safely

24:45 – Practical ways businesses and workplaces can better accommodate AuDHDers

29:38 – Managing life with AuDHD: realistic tips from lived experience

34:20 – Why content, podcasts, and peer education are critical to self-understanding

35:45 – The latest research on AuDHD that we should be paying attention to

37:50 – What’s the connection between neurodivergence and tic disorders?

39:59 – Dr Sadiq shares new insight into PMDD and neurodivergence

42:32 – How to handle AuDHD burnout - especially when you're trying to do everything

46:26 – What to do when medication isn’t working - or you can’t access it

50:21 – Assimilate or opt out? The hard choices AuDHDers face around work, education, and parenting

54:05 – Final reflections: a message to every neurodivergent person trying their best in a world not built for them

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E28 | Dr Khurram Sadiq: Explaining AuDHD

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Dr Khurram Sadiq - renowned psychiatrist and AuDHDer - joins us to help explain AuDHD. In this powerful first half of our conversation, we unpack his own diagnostic journey, what it means to live between ADHD and autism, and why this combination deserves more recognition. We explore how gender, culture, and systemic pressures influence diagnosis, and why many of us are missed or misunderstood for decades. Dr Sadiq also shares his perspective on whether ADHD and autism exist on a shared spectrum - and how we can begin to differentiate between similar traits. Part two of our chat is out next week!

Win a signed copy of Dr Khurram Sadiq's new book - Explaining AuDHD! Head over to our Instagram @wtfisaudhdpodcast to enter.

Purchase your own copy here

Key moments:

4:39 – Dr Sadiq shares his upbringing and the early signs of neurodivergence he experienced, including the emotional toll of trying to conform in a neurotypical world

15:04 – The unexpected journey that led him into mental health

17:20 – How Dr Sadiq came to be diagnosed as AuDHD himself

23:15 – What he now recognises in hindsight from his childhood and adolescence

26:13 – Why he chose to specialise in autism + ADHD - and what he's learned from that path

27:15 – How he believes neurodivergence should be diagnosed - and what’s missing in the current system

30:21 – Dr Sadiq breaks down how he defines ADHD, autism, and how they overlap

34:19 – A compelling story of a woman who denied her diagnosis - and what that says about stigma

36:35 – What really “causes” neurodivergent conditions? Dr Sadiq explains what the research tells us (and what it doesn’t)

37:45 – A fascinating hypothesis about genetics and brain development

41:35 – How gender, culture, and hormones all impact how neurodevelopmental conditions manifest - and why women and AFAB people are often missed

44:41 – How societal expectations around women’s roles can delay diagnosis and support

46:07 – How systemic pressure (not just individual traits) influences how autism and ADHD show up

48:45 – Are autism and ADHD truly separate conditions - or part of a shared spectrum?

50:58 – How to tell the difference between autistic “indifference” and ADHD “inattention"

52:58 – Distraction or sensory overload? Understanding how they can look the same but feel different

55:15 – Why some ADHDers speak without a filter, while autistic people often struggle with social nuance

58:30 – Is it over-talking, or talking with passion?

59:56 – The paradoxes of living with AuDHD - where traits seem to contradict themselves.

1:01:30 – Understanding the spectrum of autism: what's the difference between profound autism and levels 1–3?

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E27 | The 'having kids' dilemma (when you're neurodivergent)

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 16:30:00 GMT

This week, we’re diving into a big one: having children as an AuDHD adult. Neither of us are parents (yet - or possibly ever), so this is not a how-to, but an open conversation about the thoughts, fears, and feelings we have around parenting as neurodivergent people.

We speak honestly about the differences in our perspectives (Paige and Ellie don’t feel the same way!), and share the thoughts and experiences sent in by our community - from those who are already parenting with AuDHD, to those who’ve chosen not to, and everything in between.

One day, we’ll revisit this topic with actual parents and experts - but for now, consider this a first step in holding space for the complicated and very human feelings that come with the idea of having kids when your brain is wired like ours.

LINKTREE

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E26 | AuDHD and employment: You're not a failure, you're burnt out

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 16:30:00 GMT

We're diving into what it’s really like navigating work with AuDHD. We chat about our personal job histories - the burnout, the boredom, the passion, and the pivots - and why sticking to one career path can feel impossible. If you’ve ever loved and hated your job at the same time, or blamed yourself for not being “cut out” for work, this one’s for you. You’re not lazy - you’re likely unsupported. We also remind you (and ourselves) to not lose self-compassion - it's so important to not turn on yourself!

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E25 | Why AuDHD is so hard to treat (and live with!)

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Why is AuDHD so hard to manage and treat? In this episode, we explore lived contradictions of having both ADHD and autism - where one part of your brain craves routine and the other thrives on chaos, often resulting in burnout. We share real-life examples from ourselves and you - our listeners! We unpack why treatments often fall short, and highlight how young the concept of AuDHD really is - including in clinical settings.

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E24 | Understanding your AuDHD brain - with an AuDHD Clinical Psychologist

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we’re excited to be joined by Mike Cochrane (@nzpsychologyclinic), a Clinical Psychologist and fellow AuDHDer who specialises in Autistic, ADHD and AuDHD assessments. We had an insightful and validating chat about life with an AuDHD brain.

Together, we unpack:

Commonly missed traits in ADHD and autism
How to get a diagnosis
Why diagnosis often comes with both relief and grief
Strategies for navigating executive dysfunction and overwhelm
How CBT and ACT can support AuDHDers - and when they fall short
The recent legislation change in NZ allowing GPs to diagnose ADHD
The importance of self-understanding, unmasking, and neurodivergent-led therapy
and more!

We thoroughly enjoyed this chat and if you'd like more information about Mike Cochrane and his diagnosis process, head to nzpsychologyclinic.co.nz

LINKTREE

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E23 | Autism or CPTSD? Why it’s so easy to confuse the two

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Autism or trauma - or both? In today’s episode, we (very basically) unpack the complex relationship between Complex PTSD (CPTSD) and autism. We explore the ways the two can look similar, why autistic people are more likely to experience trauma, and why it’s so important to approach self-identification with care and curiosity. We reflect on personal experiences, share research insights, and offer guidance for anyone navigating these diagnoses.

With so many of you finding value in our conversations, we thought it was important to touch on this point. This episode only scrapes the top level of this topic so we strongly encourage you to do your own research.

Neurodivergent insights article we reference: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ptsd-and-autism/

LINKTREE

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E22 | You're not lazy or broken, you're experiencing AuDHD burnout

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 16:30:00 GMT

If you’re constantly exhausted no matter how much you feel like you're resting, it might autistic, ADHD or AuDHD burnout (and yes, it's different from traditional 'burnout'). Our neurodivergent brains are different and therefore the causes and treatment for burnout need to be neurodiversity affirming. We unpack the causes of ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD burnout, what we've experienced, how it can be confused for depression and why traditional therapy may not work for you. Below are some resources we reference in the episode - as always, please continue to do your own research!

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LINKTREE

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SOURCES:

@vivdawesautistic (Instagram) and WEBSITE with (paid) resources

Handy (paid) Burnout Workbook

Prevention for AuDHD Burnout - article here

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E21 | Relief to rage: dealing with contradictory feelings after diagnosis

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Getting an ADHD or autism diagnosis - especially later in life - can bring an avalanche of emotions: relief, validation, anger, grief, confusion, and imposter syndrome. In today’s episode, we talk about the messy, beautiful, and often overwhelming feelings that come before and after a diagnosis.

We share real community stories and our own experiences of trying to make sense of this new identity, processing the past, navigating conversations with family, and wrestling with the fear of not being believed - especially when autism (in particular) is still so misunderstood.

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E20 | That's not fair! Why AuDHDers can't let go of injustice

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 16:30:00 GMT

This week, we’re diving deep into justice sensitivity - the intense emotional reaction many AuDHDers have to unfairness, inequality, and being misunderstood.

We explore what justice sensitivity actually is, how it shows up differently in autism and ADHD, and why it’s more than just being “too sensitive. We share our own real-life examples and strategies to cope when injustice feels personal.

✨ Listener shoutouts from Reddit start the episode! Join our Reddit community HERE.

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E19 | Neurodivergence and loneliness: why friendships feel so hard

Mon, 26 May 2025 16:30:00 GMT

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Feeling lonely even when you're surrounded by people? You're not broken and you're not alone. In this episode, we unpack loneliness, friendship struggles, and the invisible barriers that come with having both ADHD and autism (AuDHD). We unpack why so many ADHDers and autistic people struggle with connection, friendship maintenance, and burnout, even though a lot of us crave closeness more than anything.

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E18 | ADHD and RSD: why rejection feels like danger

Mon, 19 May 2025 16:30:00 GMT

What is RSD? Is it just an ADHD thing? Is it trauma? In this episode, we’re breaking down Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - a common but sometimes misunderstood experience in the ADHD community. We explore how RSD affects people with ADHD and autism, why it might develop, and how it shows up in everyday life. Plus, we share personal stories, examples, and strategies to cope when rejection feels like danger.

LINKTREE

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E17 | ADHD life tips we use, that might help you too

Mon, 12 May 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this practical and personal episode, we’re diving into real-life strategies for navigating the daily chaos of living with ADHD (and autism!) but this is more focused on the ADHD side. Paige's entrepreneurial and creative brain has come up with a bunch of strategies that she's affectionately called Paige's Pointers. These tips help with everything from executive dysfunction to sensory overwhelm. We appreciate these might not work for everyone, but we hope you find some value!

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E16 | Do I really need to go on ADHD medication?

Mon, 05 May 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Today we dive into the world of ADHD medication and our experiences - what it is, how it works, and how it's helped us. We break down the science in (very) simple terms - even though we don't know how to say norepinephrine. We share our personal journeys with different medications, and discuss the pros, cons, and side effects we’ve experienced along the way. We also touch on what options are currently available in Aotearoa New Zealand, how to access them, and what to expect on your medication journey.

To reiterate, this is all from our lived experience so please supplement this with your own research and speak to a healthcare professional.

LINKTREE

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E15 | The links between substance use and neurodivergence

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Content warning: The content discussed in this episode is for informational and personal storytelling purposes only. We are not medical professionals, and this should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. If you are struggling with substance use or addiction, please reach out to a qualified professional or a trusted support service.

In this episode, we're diving into a sensitive but crucial topic: the relationship between substance use and neurodivergence - mainly ADHD and autism - through our personal experiences.

We explore why neurodivergent people may be at greater risk of substance use, how masking, trauma, and unmet needs contribute, and why addiction services must become more neurodivergence-informed here in Aotearoa New Zealand. We also share our own personal experiences and what we’ve learned about ourselves and our relationship with substances. This episode draws on New Zealand-based research and insights, alongside our lived experiences.

This is the article we frequently reference.

Helpful links:

NZ Drug Foundation – Support Services Directory
Healthline NZ – Alcohol and Drug Helpline (Free call: 0800 787 797 or free text: 8681)
1737 – Need to talk? (Free call or text 1737 for support from a trained counsellor)

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E14 | Autism doesn't destroy lives, but this rhetoric does

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 16:30:00 GMT

DISCLAIMER: this episode lightly mentions suicide, self harm and substance abuse.

In response to recent comments made by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. about autism, we dive into why this kind of rhetoric is not only harmful and dehumanising, but also rooted in outdated, ableist thinking. We break down some of the direct quotes, talk about the real-life impact of these messages, and remind listeners that every autistic experience is valid, and we don’t need to be fixed or cured.

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E13 | Why it feels like everyone is getting diagnosed

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we tackle the common misconception that “everyone is being diagnosed these days.” From ADHD to autism, it can feel like neurodivergence is suddenly everywhere—but is that really a bad thing? We unpack why diagnosis rates are rising, what’s changed in how we recognise neurodivergence (especially in adults, women, and marginalised groups), and why it’s not about a trend. We also touch on some of the harmful conversations going on in the USA at the moment, and explain why the language being used is harmful.

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E12 | How do I know if I'm masking, and how do I stop?

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 16:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we explore how to start unmasking and embracing your authentic self. We break down what masking is, how to recognise when you’re doing it, and the steps you can take to slowly unmask in safe and supportive spaces. We take inspiration from Devon Price's book Unmasking Autism, and we acknowledge that unmasking is a lifelong process, not an overnight transformation. It takes time, practice, and self-compassion. We share our personal journeys, practical strategies, and the challenges that come with shedding years of social conditioning.

LINKTREE

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E11 | What is masking and how does it prevent diagnosis?

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode, we dive deep into masking—the conscious and unconscious ways that neurodivergent people camouflage their traits to fit into a neurotypical world. We explore what masking is, why we do it, how it impacts mental health, and the long-term cost of constantly suppressing our true selves. We also share personal experiences of masking and briefly discuss the journey toward unmasking and self-acceptance. Next week we will dive deeper on the unmasking side of things.

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E10 | PMDD, hormones & neurodivergence - what they didn’t teach us

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Why did school never teach us what actually happens during the menstrual cycle?! In this episode, we break down the four phases of the menstrual cycle, what hormones are at play, and how they impact mood, energy, and brain function.

We dive deep into PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder)—what it is, why it’s often misunderstood, and how it disproportionately affects neurodivergent people. We share our personal experiences, the science behind PMDD, and the frustrating reality of seeking a diagnosis. Plus, we discuss the link between ADHD, autism, and hormone sensitivity, our medication journeys, and the strategies that have helped us manage PMDD symptoms.

LINKTREE

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E9 | Why AuDHD feels like living with two brains

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 15:30:00 GMT

This episode touches on some of the differences between autism and ADHD and why it can be rough having both conditions in one brain. We talk about the aspects of AuDHD that can feel contradictory to live with, and further discuss how the AuDHD neurotype is a completely unique and different experience to just having one or the other.

It's also Neurodiversity Celebration Week! This week aims to recognise, support and celebrate the estimated 1 in 7 people who think, learn and process the world differently. More info here!

LINKTREE

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E8 | Finally, let's talk about AuDHD

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode we finally get to the whole point of this podcast - what is like to be the unique neuro-type of AuDHD? Having only been 12 years since you could diagnose autism and ADHD simultaneously, there’s not a huge amount of research on the combination. We share our perspective on our AuDHD experience, with the aim of adding to the research pool of lived experiences. We mention conditions it can be misdiagnosed as, and touch on the friendship side of things again. Next week we’ll chat more about the contradictions of living with both ADHD and autism.

SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast | TikTok | Instagram | YouTube

https://linktr.ee/wtfisaudhdpodcast

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E7 | WTF is ASD?

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD? we explore what Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is. We explain the three levels of autism, and touch on popular theories such as neural pruning, nervous system links and we discuss how autistic brains process differently to neurotypical people. This is from the perspective of two white cis-women born who are reasonably privileged and we appreciate this may not relate to everyone. Remember, if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person! Deeper conversations about autism will be explored in future episodes, with the aim of eventually getting other autistic people on as guests.

SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast | YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Facebook

LINKTREE here.

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E6 | WTF is ADHD?

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 15:30:00 GMT

In today’s episode, we kick things off with an open conversation about the menstrual cycle and an introduction to PMDD, as Paige shares her experience with a new medication designed to manage its symptoms. Then, we dive into ADHD—what it is, common misconceptions, and why neurodiversity plays a crucial role in the world.

SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast | TikTok | Instagram | YouTube

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E5 | How two high masking sisters got an autism diagnosis

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Disclaimer: we are not medical professionals and this episode is brought to you by Ellie and Paige's personal lived experiences.

From a late ADHD diagnosis, to realising we're autistic too, this episode explores our diagnosis journeys to autism - both of which have been very different! We explore how we came to realise we might be autistic, share stories of being denied by medical professionals and emphasise the importance of following your gut. This chat starts to highlight why high masking women end up being missed and why it's important to explore masking and camouflaging in the context of an autism diagnosis.

Helpful links:

https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/ - examples of screeners

https://beehyve.health/ - ADHD hub in New Zealand

LINKTREE - Feel free to submit feedback on social media about topics you'd like to hear about!

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E4 | How do you get diagnosed with ADHD?

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 15:30:00 GMT

DISCLAIMER: This episode is based on our personal experiences of being diagnosed with ADHD in New Zealand, with a focus on the private healthcare route. We're not medical professionals, and this isn't a comprehensive guide—so please do your own research and seek advice from qualified experts. In next week's episode, we'll cover more about the public healthcare options available in NZ, including options for University students.

In this episode, we (AuDHD sisters Ellie and Paige) chat about how and why we came to explore whether we had ADHD. We touch on our genetics, the difference in our traits, how the assessment process worked and share some of our favourite neurodivergent creators (check out who we're following on Instagram!). Next week we will cover how we came to our Autism diagnoses.

Submit a topic you'd like us to cover HERE!

Helpful links:

https://www.adhd.org.nz/

https://acfbfund.org.nz/

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E3 | Early adulthood with undiagnosed AuDHD

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 15:30:00 GMT

Trigger warning: light mentions of alcohol and substance use.

This week, we continue the conversation regarding life before our ADHD and Autism diagnoses. We chat about life after leaving school, what our relationships were like, how we coped in the workplace and how & why our mental health was severely impacted. This episode leads up to the point before diagnosis which we will cover in next week’s episode.

Feel free to submit feedback on social media about topics you'd like to hear about!

SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast / Instagram | YouTube | TikTok

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E2 | WTF were we like as undiagnosed kids?

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 15:45:00 GMT

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD?, we go back to our childhoods and observe what we were like as AuDHD kids before diagnosis. Despite being made by the same parents and brought up in the same household, our childhood experiences and behaviours were vastly different. Now in hindsight, we know there was evidence of AuDHD that was missed. This chat starts to highlight the idea that the same condition can manifest completely differently and the stereotypes you've been taught aren't always true for everyone!

Feel free to submit feedback on social media about topics you'd like to hear about!

SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast / Instagram | YouTube | TikTok

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E1 | Who are we and why are we doing this?

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 15:45:00 GMT

Welcome to the first episode of WTF is AuDHD?, hosted by Ellie and Paige—late-diagnosed sisters navigating life with the unique combination of ADHD and Autism. Ironically, we won’t dive fully into the burning question, 'What exactly is AuDHD?' just yet—it’s a big one! Instead, let's start by telling you who we are, why we started this podcast, and how it might resonate with you.

Feel free to submit feedback on social media about topics you'd like to hear about!

SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast / Instagram | YouTube | TikTok

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Trailer: WTF is AuDHD?

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 02:55:18 GMT

Hi! We’re Ellie and Paige and we’re sisters with AuDHD (that’s the combo of autism and ADHD).

We were both diagnosed later in life, and we want to share our experiences living with undiagnosed neurodivergence and how our lives changed after diagnosis, in the hopes that it might help others.

This podcast will explore the vast manifestations of neurodivergence and show that even sisters with the same condition can look completely different.

Episode one drops Tuesday 21st Jan with new episodes dropping every Tuesday!

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