You've Got to Be Critting Me

Parental Advisory - Episode 3: Cantrips? I thought you said Catnip

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Proll and his bandits make the mistake of standing in the party’s way, forcing Eric, Nyl, and C-Smooth into their first real fight. As the battle turns messy and the party scrambles to survive, they get their first taste of how dangerous the road to the caves really is, and what victory might cost.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Eric the Cleric: Travis Stewart

C-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart II

Nyltra: Lynn Stewart

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Wizards of the Coast

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Parental Advisory - Episode 2: Bad Signs on the Trail

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

A strange job. An abandoned wagon. A trail full of bad signs. In Episode 2 of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me: Parental Advisory, Eric, Nyl, and C-Smooth press onward toward a mysterious cave system as odd encounters and mounting danger make it clear their first adventure will not be a simple one.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Eric the Cleric: Travis Stewart

C-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart II

Nyltra: Lynn Stewart

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Wizards of the Coast

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Parental Advisory - Episode 1: Pretend for Grownups

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 05:00:00 GMT

For this special episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me, Travis and Jeff welcome two brand-new players to the table for a one-shot built around the Heroes of the Borderlands starter set. What begins as a simple introduction to character sheets, spells, and class choices quickly turns into a funny, charming, and surprisingly wholesome dive into the joy of learning Dungeons & Dragons for the first time. More than just an adventure, this episode is a reminder that you do not need experience to jump in. You just need a good table, a little imagination, and a willingness to embrace the chaos.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Eric the Cleric: Travis Stewart

C-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart II

Nyltra: Lynn Stewart

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Wizards of the Coast

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Episode 34: They Wanted Us to Win

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 06:00:00 GMT

The Winter Lunar Festival continues, but the longer the party stays, the harder it becomes to ignore that something is deeply wrong.

As night falls without warning, the music stops and a makeshift arena is revealed at the heart of the celebration. What begins as harmless festival entertainment quickly turns personal when Sefi signs up to fight under a false name, and Todd follows suit with an alias of his own. With betting encouraged, rules vaguely defined, and magic strictly forbidden, the party places their wagers and prepares to watch, or participate in, the spectacle.

Inside the arena, Sefi dominates the competition with raw strength and calculated technique, while Todd fights his way through the brackets with speed, precision, and just a little chaos. All the while, familiar faces fill the crowd: parents long thought dead, figures from the past smiling and cheering as if nothing ever went wrong. But not everyone sees the same thing. Todd notices faces that blur, glitch, and briefly reveal something watching from beneath the illusion.

As victories pile up and attention turns toward the final rounds, the celebration grows louder, the crowd grows closer, and the deception grows thinner. Whatever this place is, it wants the party fully invested before it makes its next move.

The fights are far from over, and neither is the lie.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

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Episode 33: The Illusion of Home

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The party finds itself deeper within Rory’s trial as the illusion around them grows increasingly convincing, and increasingly dangerous. What began as a familiar Winter Lunar Festival in Thormir’s homeland quickly reveals itself to be something far more unsettling: a version of the past where loss never came, loved ones still walk the streets, and joy comes far too easily.

As Thormir returns to his family home and confirms the impossible truth, the group reunites to share disturbing discoveries. Malcius encounters a figure he never expected to see again. Sefi comes face to face with people long thought lost. Todd, ever suspicious, begins to notice cracks in the illusion that no one else can quite see.

With free food, false comfort, and emotional temptations pulling them in different directions, the party starts asking the right questions. Why does this festival exist now? Why is a powerful sorcerer blessing newborns, something Thormir knows only happened once before? And if this place isn’t real, why does it feel so convincing?

As the sun lowers and the festival presses on, the group realizes that this vision of the past isn’t meant to comfort them. It’s meant to teach them something… whether they’re ready for it or not.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

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Episode 32: The Winter Lunar Festival

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The party awakens from Rory’s unsettling trial and steps into a world transformed. Snow covers the earth, the cold cuts to the bone, and a familiar fear settles over Thormir as he recognizes a place that should not exist. The Winter Lunar Festival is alive with music, color, and celebration, yet something in the air feels wrong, as if the world itself is holding its breath.

Each hero senses that this strange vision carries a truth they are not yet ready to face. Malcius struggles against the biting cold and the warmth of unexpected kindness. Sefi feels the ground shift beneath her as she crosses paths with someone who shakes her to the core. Todd experiences a moment he cannot explain, a lingering echo of something deeper within him.

The road ahead grows more uncertain, but the party must push forward. What they have stepped into is not merely a festival. It is a reflection of something hidden, something waiting to be revealed.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

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Episode 31: Fun Guy, Yeah Right

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The party finally begins their long-promised training with Rory, the enigmatic druid who’s been guiding Thormir’s connection to his mote. What starts as peaceful meditation (and Sefi’s ill-advised mushroom trip) quickly spirals into a chaotic, high-stakes battle as Rory pushes the group far beyond their comfort zones.

Between booming blades, teleporting strikes, bardic marches, shape-shifting, spore clouds, and a glowing mote that seems to have a will of its own, the team is forced to confront both their power and their limits. And as Rory ramps up the intensity, the line between “training” and “survival” gets thinner and thinner.

Will the party rise to the challenge or crumble under the weight of Rory’s mysterious lessons?

Strap in. This one gets wild.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

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Episode 30: Do You Know the Mushroom Man?

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 06:00:00 GMT

After their brutal battle with the bandits, tensions simmer as the party hauls their prisoners back toward Beckinsdale, only for Thormir’s glowing mote to suddenly dart off the path, leading them into a mysterious spore-filled forest. There, they encounter Rory, a weathered dwarven druid wreathed in fungi who claims to be a guide across worlds. Inside his glowing mushroom cottage, the party meets Rory’s strange companion, Sebastian, and learns cryptic truths about their own motes, the nature of the “Unfated Ones,” and the multiverse itself.

As Rory challenges each of them: Malcius wrestling with mercy, Sefi seeking purpose, Todd confronting his inner darkness, and Thormir learning the deeper bond with his mote, the group begins to understand that saving the world may first require saving themselves.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

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Buy our merch on our brand new website!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 29: Mercy or Vengeance

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The battle at the bandit camp reaches its breaking point as spells flare, blades clash, and tempers run hot. When one of the surviving bandits surrenders, the party finds themselves at odds, especially Todd and Malcius, whose clashing beliefs over justice and mercy threaten to tear the group apart. Should they let the survivor live to answer for his crimes, or finish what they started? With emotions running high and secrets unraveling, the line between hero and executioner grows dangerously thin.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Buy our merch on our brand new website!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 28: Into the Bandit Camp

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 05:00:00 GMT

The party pushes deeper into the woods outside Beckinsdale and finally discovers the bandit camp behind the recent burglaries. Malcius tries to talk his way out, but blades are soon drawn. What begins as a tense standoff quickly erupts into chaos as Sefi wades into the fray, Todd and Thormir square off against ruthless raiders, and spells flash through the trees. Narrow escapes, bloodied blades, and unanswered questions set the stage for what’s still to come.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Buy our merch on our brand new website!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One Year Anniversary Giveaway Announcement

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 22:10:00 GMT

A year ago, our party set out on a wild quest. Now, one year later, the adventure’s only just begun. Join the celebration (and maybe win some loot)! Check with us in the next few days to find out how to enter to win!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Buy our merch on our brand new website!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 27: East? I Thought He Said 'Weast'

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 05:00:00 GMT

The party wakes at the Brave Lion, where breakfast brings more than just food, it brings reminders of last night’s chaos. With the mysterious tree now gone, they return to the Lion’s Den to settle damages, test Todd’s questionable “repair” skills, and confront the costs of their choices. But as gold is handed over and cracks are mended, the ceiling above still tells a different story, and new shadows begin to gather on the horizon.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Buy our merch on our brand new website!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Special Recap: Episodes 15-26

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Need to catch up before diving into the next chapter? This special recap episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me covers everything from Episodes 15–26.

Join Malcius, Sefi, Thormir, and Todd as they battle cavern-dwelling horrors, fight off gnolls alongside a vengeful one-tusked giant, stumble through burglary investigations, and unleash pure chaos with a bag of magic beans that sends a beanstalk crashing through the roof of an inn.

The adventure crescendos in Beckinsdale, where every dead end leads to deeper mysteries.

And stick around: there’s a small preview of Episode 27, where safety gives way to sudden danger, and the whispers of the Dragon King grow louder than ever.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Buy our merch on our brand new website!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 26: Thormir and the Beanstalk

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 05:00:00 GMT

A quiet night at the Lion’s Den turns into absolute chaos when Thormir plants one of Malcius’ mysterious beans. What sprouts is no ordinary garden variety tree, it’s a massive magical fruit tree that blasts straight through the tavern roof.

Things go from bad to worse when Todd, already a little too deep into the drinks, grabs one of the glowing fruits and suddenly finds himself belching fire like a dragon. Thormir decides to join in, ending up super-charged with unnatural speed and stuffing 26 enchanted fruits into his pack for later use.

As flames scorch the ceiling and the innkeeper’s patience runs out, the party is unceremoniously kicked out into the street. Now saddled with a bag of unpredictable fruit and a bill they can’t pay, the adventurers must find a new place to stay and somehow clean up the mess they’ve left behind.

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you mix alcohol, magic beans, and poor decision-making… this is the episode for you.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 25: Beans, Burglars, and Binding Shackles

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 05:00:00 GMT

The party continues their investigation into the string of burglaries plaguing the town. At the Dependable Depot, the group learns that weapons and healing potions were stolen in a meticulous break-in, raising suspicions about someone preparing for something larger. While questioning the shopkeepers, Todd discovers one of them secretly purchased a dangerous magical item, a set of golden shackles said to prevent teleportation and planar travel.

Through some persuasion (and a little deception), Todd walks away with the shackles under the promise of selling them on the black market. Back at the inn, the group tests the shackles, confirming their power, and debates how best to use them or profit from them. Their search then leads them to Edith, a kindly woman whose home was broken into by a tall, broad figure in black. The party begins their own investigation of the scene, determined to uncover what the city guard could not

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Make sure you check out One Shot DnD!

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Episode 24: Let’s Get Down to Business (Eventually)

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 05:00:00 GMT

After a chaotic night at Jimbo’s farm, the party regroups at the Lion’s Den for some much-needed rest… and a questionable number of breakfast beers. Thormir sharpens a femur into a makeshift weapon, Malcius gets magically freshened up, and Todd discovers he may not be the only one watching.

The group brings their findings to the town guard, revealing what they saw through the portal and the growing threat of gnolls nearby. As the captain scrambles for reinforcements, the adventurers agree to assist with a string of unsolved burglaries… but not before Thormir makes a pitstop at a local embroidery shop with a very specific cape request.

Skulls are stored, shots are shared, suspicion is high, and somehow this still counts as progress.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

And shoutout to The Dysfuntional DM on Instagram for shouting us out!

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Episode 23: New Cape, Who Dis?

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 05:00:00 GMT

The party wakes up after a harrowing night at Jimbo’s farm, where a mysterious giant escaped through a portal but not without promising to return. As Sefi contemplates her mortality and Malcius strums away in quiet reflection, the team regroups at the Lion’s Den for a hearty breakfast (with varying opinions on melons). But the calm doesn’t last long. A secret note appears under Todd’s bread, Thormir gets a new cape (and a new lease on flair), and Shalah, Todd’s impish companion, may have accidentally shoplifted.

Between investigating, shopping for supplies, and narrowly avoiding an arrest over a floating lock, the group begins to piece together that something much bigger is looming behind Jimbo’s livestock problem. Is the town prepared? Are they?

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional music and sound effects by Artlist.

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

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Episode 22: You Can't Handle the Tooth

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 05:00:00 GMT

A mysterious giant, a moonlit battlefield, and a very revealing tooth. The party finds themselves in a chaotic showdown as they fight to stop an unexpected escape. Thormir makes a shocking connection to his past and tries to keep the giant pinned with Moonbeam, and Sefi throws herself (literally) into grappling the impossible. Meanwhile, Malcius pulls the psychic strings with dissonant whispers, and Todd experiments with questionable weapon swaps mid-fight.

Gnolls get scruffed, portals glow ominously, and new secrets come to light in this wild, tooth-rattling episode.

Will they stop the giant from vanishing through the portal? Or will old wounds resurface faster than you can say "Sentinel attack of opportunity"?

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

And shoutout to Rainbow Dice Club on Instagram for being our 800th follower! Check them out!

Also check out Roll 4 DM and Bardsoup!

Check out the Kickstarter from our friends over at Fireball Studios "The Mourning Queen: Shrouded in Miasma"

And also, check out a book from your local library! Just check everything out.

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Episode 21: Traps, Trips, and Trouble

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 05:00:00 GMT

The party's farmyard stakeout finally kicks off! After a night of elaborate planning, questionable traps, and plenty of animal antics, the team faces off against a group of gnolls and a towering, rune-covered giant stepping through a mysterious portal. Chaos erupts as stealthy setups devolve into roars, tripping gnolls, and frantic improvisation. Will they stop the giant before he escapes? And what secrets do those glowing runes hold?

Expect epic combat, farm-themed shenanigans, and plenty of "you've got to be critting me" moments in this wild ride of an episode!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 20: Jimbo was his Name-O

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 06:11:46 GMT

The party’s stay in Beckinsdale takes a surprising turn as they meet a mysterious figure named Jimbo at the job board, and he's got just the kind of odd quest they didn’t know they were looking for. Between emotional shopping sprees, cryptic hints, and suspicious new allies, our adventurers find themselves drawn deeper into the town's secrets. Will they keep their focus (or their gold)? Or will Jimbo’s pitch be too intriguing to resist?

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 19: The Gang Goes Shopping

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 06:19:45 GMT

After surviving a battle underground, the party heads to Beckinsdale and sets their sights on something far more dangerous: shopping. Todd gets mysterious with his money, Malcius seeks magical upgrades (and maybe a little flair), Thormir stocks up on natural remedies, and Sefi debates the merits of potion flavors. As the crew browses local wares, their packs get heavier, but so do the questions about what lies ahead.

Who’s buying what? Can Todd keep a secret? And how long can a party stay out of trouble while surrounded by magic items?

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 18: Well, Well, Well...

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 07:32:58 GMT

The party returns to the well beneath Almore Island, determined to finish what they started. With rope in hand and tension high, they make the dangerous descent into the darkness once more.

Navigating the familiar stone corridors, they prepare themselves for a confrontation with the creature they narrowly escaped before. But as they press deeper, they discover the island's dangers haven't diminished, and the stakes are higher than ever.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 17: Statue of Limitations

Mon, 19 May 2025 15:18:49 GMT

The party tries to enjoy a peaceful morning in town... until Malcius drops a bombshell over breakfast: a cursed statue version of himself, born from a magic bean, wants him dead. As they debate whether to smash it, sell it, or study it, tensions rise and secrets surface. With old ghosts stirred and new plans brewing, the group returns to the island and prepares to face the monster they once left behind.

Magic, missteps, and miniature threats await in this chaotic and cathartic episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 16: The Idiots and Their Beans

Tue, 06 May 2025 02:15:14 GMT

Episode 16 – “The Idiots and Their Beans”

Back in Sestone, the party takes a moment to rest, reconnect, and reflect, but peace is a fragile thing. As strange gifts are unwrapped and unsettling questions arise, even the comfort of home can't keep the nightmares away. A bizarre magical discovery threatens to unravel everyone's patience… and possibly their sanity.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 15: No One Left Behind

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 06:16:40 GMT

Episode 15: No One Left Behind

Cornered in the dark tunnels beneath the monastery, the party faces their deadliest challenge yet - a monstrous carrion crawler lurking in the shadows. With magic and steel, they rally together, fighting not only for their own lives but for the freedom of every prisoner left on the island. As the sea roars against the cliffs and the last escape routes narrow, desperate choices must be made. Can they outwit the island’s horrors, save the villagers, and forge a path to freedom? One wrong step could cost everything - but for the Unfated Ones, failure has never been an option.

Featuring summoned weapons of pure light, desperate battles in the dark, and a daring escape that could change everything.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Special Recap: Episodes 1–14

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 20:21:45 GMT

New to You’ve Got to Be Critting Me and want to catch up fast?

This special recap episode covers the story so far - from our party’s arrival in Setstone, to the horrors of Almore Island, to the whispers of the Far Realm itself.

🎭 Meet our heroes:

Malcius Sorrow - tiefling bard with flair (and questionable use of Thunderwave).
Sefi - a towering goliath fighter who doesn’t hesitate to act.
Thormir Moonsight - a dwarven druid, driven by vengeance and nature’s fury.
Todd Van Wyk - a masked half-elf rogue haunted by voices in the dark.

🌑 In this recap, you’ll hear:

The first shocking signs of mutation in Setstone.
Guthber’s chilling connection to the Hand of Narkul.
Skeletons, fish-spawn, cursed relics, and a monastery bell tolling doom.
Todd’s dangerous bond with whispers from the Far Realm.

Whether you’re jumping in for the first time, or need a refresher before continuing with Episode 15, this recap will get you up to speed.

⚔️ The stage is set. The Hand of Narkul stirs.

Will our heroes survive what’s to come?

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 14: The Weight of a Name

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Episode 14: The Weight of a Name

The battle may be over, but the aftermath is just beginning. In the shadow of the rift, our heroes come face to face with their newfound powers-and the haunting whispers that accompany them. Malcius wrestles with imposter syndrome, Todd forms a strange new pact (and gains an imp with attitude), and the party is left wondering: are they truly the legendary "Unfated Ones" foretold in prophecy?

As they attempt a daring rescue of imprisoned villagers and confront the consequences of Guthber's terrifying transformation, bonds are tested, secrets begin to unravel, and something monstrous stirs in the dark tunnels ahead.

Featuring: magical upgrades, emotional reckoning, a shiny necklace with history, and a centipede nightmare waiting to attack.

No rest for the newly powerful.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 13: The Unfated Ones

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Deep beneath the ruined monastery, the party’s plan teeters on the edge of discovery.

With Zaharel still under Malcius’s charm, the adventurers navigate treacherous tunnels, deceiving monstrous enforcers and dodging ancient threats in the shadows. But time is running out, and the rift waits.

As Todd’s rat companion grows more restless, drawn to an unknown power pulsing just beyond reach, secrets begin to surface. Whispers of destiny, ancient magic, and fractured identity swirl in the dark.

When illusions shatter and Guthber reveals his true, monstrous form, the party must make a choice: fight, flee, or fall apart.

⚔️ Tensions rise.

🧠 Minds unravel.

🌌 Fate is no longer a certainty.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 12: Descent into Darkness

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 05:00:00 GMT

In this thrilling episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me, the party ventures deeper into the treacherous ruins of the monastery. When a mysterious druid, Zaharel, emerges from the shadows, alliances are questioned, and Malcius’s charm magic is put to the ultimate test.

With each step, the heroes uncover darker secrets, from the enigmatic rift below to the looming threat of Guthber's sinister plans. As tensions rise and the clock ticks down on their charm spell, they must navigate slippery ledges, ancient causeways, and a deadly maze of steam geysers.

Will they manage to turn an unwilling foe into an ally? And can they reach the rift before disaster strikes? Tune in to find out in this suspenseful chapter of You've Got to Be Critting Me!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 11: Light is the Weight of Wisdom

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 06:00:00 GMT

Trapped in the depths of the monastery’s ruins, our adventurers face their greatest enemy yet: puzzles. With spectral hauntings behind them and eerie statues ahead, Malcius, Sefi, Thormir, and Todd must unravel the mystery of a cryptic inscription, a locked lantern, and a glowing orb that definitely doesn’t want to be touched (looking at you, Todd). As frustration mounts and lightning damage stacks, will they crack the code, or will this dungeon claim them as its next set of statues?

Tune in for magical misfires, puzzle-induced existential crises, and the party's ongoing war against doors.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 10: Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Todd

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 06:00:00 GMT

A simple exploration turns into a haunting encounter as the party delves deeper into the monastery ruins. Between eerie whispers, floating bones, and a cryptic stone door, tensions rise as they uncover a long-forgotten tomb. But when curiosity gets the best of them, they quickly learn that some doors are better left closed... and some spirits aren’t ready to rest. With skeleton battles, risky puzzles, and an unfortunate possession, this episode is filled with chaos, mystery, and just a bit of regret. Will they find the answers they seek, or just more trouble? Tune in to find out!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 9: The Curse of Common Sense

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode, the party delves deeper into the eerie ruins of Almore Island, uncovering unsettling mysteries and facing dangerous foes. With traps, moldy corpses, and a sinister discovery waiting around every corner, they’ll need to rely on wit, magic, and a bit of luck to survive. Will they find the missing villagers in time, or will the island's secrets prove too much to handle? Tune in for thrilling encounters, unexpected twists, and plenty of laughs!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 8: Three Blind Mice

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 06:00:00 GMT

The party continues their journey through the eerie monastery, encountering unsettling visions and uncovering remnants of the past. From a tense standoff with giant rats to mysterious voices and the discovery of cryptic artifacts, their exploration takes a darker turn. With every step deeper into the monastery, the adventurers piece together more of the island’s secrets while facing the growing dangers lurking in the shadows.

Tune in for an episode full of suspense, action, and the ever-present sense of the unknown!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 7: Math is Hard

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 22:44:30 GMT

As the party ventures further into the ominous monastery, they encounter unsettling horrors. A half-mutated man, a graveyard of rising skeletons, and the ever-looming threat of discovery. Tensions escalate when a thunderous spell reverberates through the island, culminating in the ominous tolling of a bell that signals danger on all sides. With every step, the adventurers uncover more about the island’s dark mysteries while battling to stay alive.

Don’t miss this thrilling episode packed with eerie discoveries, pulse-pounding combat, and high-stakes drama!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 6: What About the Horses!?

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 07:06:09 GMT

The party sails back to Sestone with Gregor’s reclaimed goods in tow, ready to fulfill their deal. As they reflect on their recent adventures, discussions of strange dreams and lingering mysteries hint at unsettling connections. With new information and an ominous urgency, the party begins preparing for their next journey back to the island to uncover what lies ahead.

Tune in for an episode of reflection, growing intrigue, and preparations for the challenges to come.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 5: Gnoll Rest for the Wicked

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 06:00:55 GMT

In this episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me, our adventurers find themselves navigating a smoke-filled cove as they plan a daring ambush on a gnoll crew. Tensions run high as the team attempts to balance stealth and strategy, only for chaos to erupt when battle breaks out. From critical hits to creative tactics, the party faces off against relentless foes in a fight that pushes their skills, and their luck, to the limit.

Will they emerge victorious, or does danger still lurk in the haze? Tune in to find out!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 4: Battling Bandits and Bad Dreams

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 06:00:07 GMT

In this episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me, strange dreams and lingering dangers haunt our adventurers. After a night of unsettling, vivid nightmares, the party awakens with a sense that something sinister is afoot. As they shake off the disturbing visions, they head to Almore island in search of the missing goods. As they approach the shoreline tensions rise as they encounter a suspicious figure. The group has to decide whether to engage or press on, with the mysteries of Almore island just within reach. Now with eerie dreams and real dangers closing in the party prepares for whatever lies ahead.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 3: Tentacled Tavern Terrors

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 06:00:09 GMT

The party dives deeper into Sestone’s mysteries, meeting a dockworker who shares unsettling rumors of missing townsfolk and ghostly sightings. But their night takes a dark turn back at the tavern when two monstrous, tentacled creatures crash into the kitchen. Forced into a fierce battle, the adventurers realize the dangers are far greater than they imagined and prepare for their next step: heading to the ominous island.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 2: The Tragedy of Rufus T. Boonesaw

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 05:00:31 GMT

In this episode, our adventurers find themselves in a local tavern, where the drinks are strong, and the rumors are stronger. As they send off Erin and prepare for their next steps, they dig into the mysteries surrounding the missing fishermen at the docks. With a potential lead on Almore Island, the party debates whether to question the families of the lost or head straight into the unknown. Tensions rise, drinks are downed, and an arm-wrestling challenge adds some unexpected fun to the night. Will they uncover the truth? Or will their plans get derailed by another round at the bar? Tune in to find out!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 1: Welcome to Sestone

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 04:55:19 GMT

In the very first episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me, our newly-formed adventuring party arrives in the quiet port town of Sestone, only to be thrust into chaos when a young man named Harold stumbles into town, horribly mutated with squid-like features. As the group scrambles to help him, they begin unraveling a mystery involving strange disappearances, dark magic, and eerie transformations. With the help of locals, including a mysterious scholar named Guthber, they begin to investigate the strange happenings, but soon realize they’ve only scratched the surface of a much deeper, darker conspiracy.

Join us as we dive into strange waters, tackle bizarre questions, and encounter our first fishy foes!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 0: The Journey Begins

Sun, 06 Oct 2024 04:10:08 GMT

Welcome to You've Got To Be Critting Me!, a live play D&D podcast where chaos, laughter, and heartfelt moments collide!

In this inaugural episode, meet our party of adventurers:

🗡️ Sefi, the Goliath Fighter - An ex-conscripted soldier seeking the family taken from her.

🎶 Malcius Sorrow, the Tiefling Bard - A charming musician on the run from his past.

🌿 Thormir Moonsight, the Dwarf Druid - Scouring land and sea to avenge his fallen home.

🧠 Todd Van Wyk, the Half-elf Rogue - An archaeologist and scholar who has been guided by a rat for 40 years.

Our heroes find themselves entangled in the ancient mysteries of Kyranda, a world of magic and danger where a dark being seeks to reshape everything. With the balance of good and evil hanging by a thread, the party must decide whether to rise as heroes or falter under the weight of destiny.

🔍 Will the party unite to face the darkness? What secrets will they uncover? Which way will they tip the balance?

Join us for an epic story, epic rolls, and moments that will leave you saying, "You’ve GOT to be critting me!"

🎧 Subscribe and follow for new episodes filled with adventure, unpredictable twists, and unforgettable characters!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.